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Adam Rippon

Remember our favorite male figure skater in the Olympics this year, Adam Rippon, who has been coyly rejecting Mike Pence’s constant requests for dates in PyeongChang? Rippon is still trending on Twitter this morning because, in his Olympic debut, he blew the roof off the stadium with one of the most beautiful, well-executed free skates we have EVER seen, leading the American team to a combined bronze medal. (Don’t worry, this was just the team event, you didn’t miss the individual contests. They start very soon!)

But while it was wonderful, we have a quibble — with the judges, who are idiots. (We are not the only ones who think so.) OR MAYBE Russia hacked into the judges’ computers/brains and underscored Rippon, because they are dicks like that.

You see, before Rippon skated, there was a dude named Mikhail Kolyada, representing the “Olympic Athletes from Russia,” because that asshole country is banned from the Olympics, because it cheats constantly. Kolyada’s skate was … boring. It was uninspired. It was slightly more technically difficult than Adam Rippon’s, but it was also slightly more FALL DOWN GO BOOM.

(Rippon’s performance featured zero FALL DOWN GO BOOM. Its only flaw was apparently one slight under-rotation on a jump.)

Kolyada skated an Elvis medley, the “artistic” nature of which consisted of, “Ehhhhhh, my Russian friend Yakov say if I curl my lip like this, I look like American Elvis!” Seriously, there was nothing else. Commentators Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir noticed it. Everybody noticed it.

Everybody also noticed how they were goddamned SPEECHLESS after Adam Rippon’s near-flawless skate, which used music from Coldplay and the Cinematic Orchestra. Here is a small clip, because NBC is stingy:

Suffice it to say that every note of the music came through him, and he led the viewer through the music. It was, hands down, one of the most gorgeous things we have ever seen on an ice rink.

After Rippon’s skate, he was in … second place. Behind the Russian. After Patrick Chan of Canada skated an extremely technically difficult program (and also FELL DOWN GO BOOM), Rippon ended up in third place. Here, have some Olympic scores nobody understands:

OK, ignore the column that says “TES.” Those are technical elements, and Chan’s was the most difficult program by far, so despite how he FELL DOWN GO BOOM, he was significantly higher than both Rippon and the Russian. As we said, the Russian’s skate was technically more difficult than Rippon’s, so even though it was executed Not Well, it still ended up a couple points higher than Rippon’s almost perfect skate. Blah blah whatever, “technical elements,” those get counted however they get counted, that is fine.

But how in the world did pretend Russian Elvis who falls down a lot score so closely to Rippon in artistry? That goes into the “PCS” score (program components). Specifically, PE (performance), CO (composition) and IN (intepretation of the music).

Don’t take it from a common liberal warblogger. Here are some things Tara Lipinski and Johnny Weir said about the various performances, not only because they are skating experts, but because they also fucking have eyes:

  • “I was wanting to get into that performance … but he just seems so disconnected.” Lipinski, on the Russian.
  • “I couldn’t have been MORE into that.” Lipinski, on Rippon.
  • “Adam was spellbinding today, I’m a little bit taken aback … that he’s in SECOND place.” Johnny Weir, on Rippon.
  • “I don’t understand what performance the judges were watching!” Lipinski, on WTF with these judges.
  • “Oatmeal.” Johnny Weir, on how exciting that Russian was.
  • “Had me quaking.” Weir, on Rippon’s performance.

Whatever was in the judges’ heads, the fact they couldn’t seem to give Rippon the component score he deserved is why he ended up in third place. Granted, Rippon did beat the Russian in components, but come on, whether it was the judges who decided to screw Rippon or whether it was Russian hackers, that’s how they would rig it. “LOL, we cannot make Russian idiot Elvis win artistic score, that would be too obvious, Sergei! No, we will just give mean gay American SLIGHTLY SMALLER score, so that in the end, the Russian eke out tiny win in Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin!”

From what we have seen, Rippon is gracious and so excited to be there and thrilled he helped contribute to the US team winning bronze last night. Just so you know he’s not yelling about this. We will leave that to OURSELVES, because that shit was fucked up and that dumb Russian did not deserve to beat Adam Rippon in any universe.

Here, have a Rippon interview, from after his skate. He’s a pretty funny guy who’s obviously worked his ass off for this:

This has been your Winter Olympics update from Wonkette. We really should be in PyeongChang, don’t you think? Well, if you think that, DONATE HARDER.

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    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Summer Games equivalent is Cat Herding.

    • renegade500

      I’ve watched this several times now, and it just doesn’t get old!

    • Marion in Savannah

      I howled!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Nobody suspects the Canada City.

    Good. Good.

    https://cdn.meme.am/images/300x/5480741.jpg

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    So that would explain why my Twitter feed went nuclear overnight…

  • Antonin Dvorak

    I am disappointed in you Wonkette; an entire article about figure skating and not a single Dick Button joke.

    Also, the fact Tara Lipinski is doing commentary now makes me suddenly feel old.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And she’s still insufferable.

      • PeedeResistance

        Actually, worse than ever–which seemed impossible.

    • I KNOW, RIGHT???

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, Dick Button used to coach our little figure skating club at Wollman rink in NYC when I was A Very Young. For free, because he enjoyed coaching. He was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and brought people like Tenley Albright, Carol Heiss, and Scott Hamilton from time to time.

    • renegade500

      I was watching the enhanced feed last night and they had a factoid pop up that says Dick Button was the last *man* (not even last US or Russian or whatever) to win two gold medals back to back in figure skating.

    • RickyG

      HOLD THE DICK BUTTON, BITCH!

    • Erala Contratista

      Tara Lipinski’s tutu!!!!!!

  • dslindc
    • Ghenghis McCann

      My forty quatloos says the announcer could barely get out of their seat without help, but they’re allowed to criticize ice dancing.

    • Shibusa

      I have that experience every time I see Olympic diving. The dives all look amazing at first but after you hear the announcers judging a few of the dives, Mr Shibusa and I become peanut gallery experts. “That was a terrible dive! Did you see the splash size? Did you see the inadequate tuck position? The over-rotation?!”

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Watching the olympics does that to me, every time. You really wouldn’t want me to judge your run on slopestyle snowboarding; I’m brutal and without mercy.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      And there you have the complete and total history of artistic criticism. Those who can, do, and those who can’t, criticize.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I give your comment a 7.8 out of 10.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Hmmm, solid bronze. I’ll take it.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          I give your critique 3.14 out of pi.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Meh. I looooves me some Christgau. And Dorothy Parker.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Agreed. Nothing funnier has ever been printed than Dorothy Parker’s book and theater reviews.

  • beingreleased

    I’m going to do something completely un-American and state that I am completely unqualified to judge figure skating and therefore will not express an opinion on this. I’ll just trust the experts (the Wonketariat) on this.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Devin Nunes’ site collapses, Rippon is fucked over by the Russian judge. Coincidence?

  • Timothy Watson

    Wouldn’t be the first time the Russians bribe an Olympic judge.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Russians seem to be incapable of fair play, in ANYTHING.

      • renegade500

        I will say though, those two Russian young women were real firecrackers!

    • Rick Hill

      Bribe…threaten…potato…potatoe

  • ArgieBargie

    “…used music from Coldplay…”

    There’s your answer.

    • msanthropesmr

      Could be worse. Could be Nickleback

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Oh, weepy Ed Sheeran.

      • ArgieBargie

        But the thought of a conflicted, overwhelmed Mike Pence running to the closet in tears after watching this performance. Coldplay provides the perfect soundtrack for that moment.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Or Lana Del Rey.

  • renegade500

    I felt so bad for him, because it’s obvious to everyone he did not get the component scores he should have. This new scoring system does a lot to correct some of the ills of the past, but it’s obvious the judges can still game it to get the results they want.

    Still, Rippon was wonderful and gracious and we should all be like him!

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Agree. Also this: the quadruple jump is the WORST thing to happen to figure skating since they stopped the compulsory “figures.”

      https://youtu.be/wNJ88dpH_L4

      • renegade500

        Damn that’s old school!

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Well, I’m old….

          • renegade500

            Ha, same!

  • Marion in Savannah

    From what the Scott Hamilton and Tara Lipinski said last night you get more points for a BOOM with complete rotations but a borked landing than you do for a well landed but under-roated jump. No, it doesn’t make any sense to me either, but it does explain the scoring.

    • proudgrampa

      By that logic, a baseball player should get a home run just because he swings the bat, even though he strikes out.

      Silly sport.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        “That pitch was a good six inches outside, but throwing a slider increased the degree of difficulty, so that’s strike three.”

        • Marion in Savannah

          A much better analogy than I could come up with.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      I read about this in actual sportsballing journimalisms, and they generally say Rippon’s routine was perfect but too safe.

    • renegade500

      That’s true for the technical score, but it doesn’t account for the component (formerly known as artistic) score. The components score is more subjective, however, and easier to game.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      All sports rely on subjective judgements (football penalties, the strike zone, etc) and that’s one of the biggest reasons I’ve turned my sports viewing almost all the way down.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Taking it the other way is worse, though. Replays are killing the fun of NFL games because every exciting play has the chance of being called back on an infinitesimal infraction detectable only by reviewing the footage frame-by-frame. It was better when the ref called a touchdown and we just lived with it.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Skating Twitter was piii-iissed. And don’t get us started on how the Russians got to compete in a team event when they entire point of the you-can’t-send-athletes-as-a-team semi-sanction was that THEY AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM.

    • Darkrose

      Yeah, I was wondering about that.

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie

    OT, but sweet. I’m not religious at all, but I think this Pope is admirable in many ways.

    https://twitter.com/TradCatFem/status/962823800609001472

    • proudgrampa

      That is sweet.

    • Thank you for sharing that.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Matthew 19:14
      ‘But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.’

      This is a Christian who has actually read the Bible

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        One would hope so, as it would be in the Job description, I’d think.

        • therblig

          isn’t the Job description “never give up your faith, even if your god does unspeakable things to you”?

          • Erala Contratista

            “Job, there’s something about you that just pisses me off”

            (Older than me joke)

          • Snowbound Ron

            Also known as the ‘sucker’ play.

          • Barbara

            Goℴgle pays to people of all ages 97 dollars per-hour to complete few task off a home computer .. Labor for only few hours & fun greater time with your own friends . Any person can catch this specific job!!last weekend I purchased a new McLaren F2 after just getting $15422 this-past/five weeks .it’s certainly the best work however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t look it.!ww75s:⇒⇒⇒ http://GoogleGeoHighestPaidWorkFromHomeJobs/earn/97$/hr ♥♥v♥♥t♥s♥♥♥g♥♥♥b♥u♥y♥♥w♥♥k♥x♥o♥g♥♥♥f♥♥♥v♥♥y♥♥j♥♥♥l♥d♥♥w♥♥j♥♥v♥g♥p♥♥♥p♥i::::!zw661a:zb

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      They are married now.

    • grindstone

      I asked my husband if Spouse was becoming Catholic. He said, no, the pope is becoming more Spouse. I’m good with this guy, mostly.

      • calliecallie

        The husband?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Meh, he still covers for pedo and pedo enabling priests.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        He’s a step in the right direction but yeah, he still holds several backwards and even deadly views.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Religion needs to go the fuck away.
          It does nothing but hinder progress.

          • P’jama Pahnts

            Yep

          • PubOption

            Has it been supplanted by Oxycontin as the opium of the people?

          • Gandhi, Malcolm X and MLK totally agree with you. Activists for the liberation of the oppressed who were defiant in their atheism and opposition to religion.

            … wait, what?

          • MynameisBlarney

            They were great people and absolutely rare among religious leaders.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I’m forced to agree. I want to like this pope, but “better” is still not quite good enough, in this case.

    • ArgieBargie

      If only his church treated all children with the same level of dignity and respect.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He is hated by the usual suspects on the right, who long for the days of Pope Benny the Nazi.

    • William

      That’s because the Pontiff subscribes to the non- conservative Bible. Mark 10:13-16. Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. The right wing Bible is way different with passages like “Make not a wedding cake for a homo”, and “Santa Claus and Jesus are White”.

    • Stulexington

      It’s funny. Popes all pretended to be like this, or should I say had someone tell everyone they were like this. The Roman Catholic Church accidentally got the real deal this time. Part of me has a little more hope for the future of mankind because of it and the rest of me is laughing my ass off at the posers who are forced to have Pope Ajax as a spiritual leader.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      In other news, physical contact between a catholic priest and a small child is only unquestionable if it happens in front of a large room full of witnesses.

      Sorry, I know, I’m snarking in your squee

    • sarafina

      Yeah, too bad he thinks some females lie about abuse.

    • PlutoAnimus

      Just a couple of weeks ago, he called people who had been sexually exploited by priests as children in Chile liars.

      You admire this lowlife scumbag?

      What the hell is wrong with you?

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Yeah, after that competition I said “Fuck it!” in Russian, turned off the TV, and read myself to sleep. I miss Scott whats-his-face as commentator. He was much more catty and seemed to know everything about each competitor.

  • OutOfOrbit

    is it any wonder why the NeoRight is so into Russia? cheaters of a feather

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    ♪ Everybody have fun tonight
    Everybody Pyeong Chang tonight ♪

  • Toledo Window Box

    Russians cheat at everything. They even figured out how to get a total buffoon “elected” as the U.S. President, who naturally will be allowing continued election interference.

  • Indiepalin

    To be clear, slight under-rotation has been an issue in the gay community for years.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      You not talking to the right gays, yo.

  • FamilyThalamus,Stable Genius

    So how did the Russians obtain permission to form this loose coalition of athletes, who happen to be from Russia? How the ever-loving fuck is this any different than just identifying as the Russian team? Jesus.

    • renegade500

      They’re not allowed to display a Russian flag or in any way say they represent the country of Russia because of a doping scandal in Sochi.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        So why did I see someone waving a Russian flag when one of the ‘Independent’ competitors won a heat?

        • renegade500

          I think the restriction is only on the athletes. They can’t display a Russian flag anywhere, except in their rooms where the public can’t see it. I don’t see how the IOC can prevent spectators from bringing in Russian flags, though.

    • Marion in Savannah

      They managed to prove they weren’t drugging.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Seriously?

        • PeedeResistance

          No they most certainly did NOT. Russia, that is to say PUTA, destroyed so much of the evidence (dirty urine samples) that there is not conclusive ‘proof’ against some of them. That is all.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      That’s actually a good question. A commentator on ESPN was like “so they have to wear outfits that are only slightly different in color from Russia’s flag, they won’t get to hear their national anthem when they win, and their flag can’t be displayed. But Putin is not going to make that distinction when he honors them as Russian winners.”

  • therblig

    OT, but hey jazz singer on the radio, dexter gordon’s “tanya” does not need lyrics.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Fucking up something good seems to be the spirit of the times.

    • Erala Contratista

      Mr. Elling is too hip for the room in general

  • MynameisBlarney

    No wonder the GOP is so in love with all things roosha.

    They can’t help but fucking cheat at every-fucking-thing too.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    We do this every 4 years, so . . .

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Jeffery Campbell

    That handsome, handsome fella has a lay-back spin like nobody’s business. ……lay-back….tee hee.

  • Scooby

    Why is figure skating a sport but ballet isn’t ?

    • William

      How is cross country bowling not a sport?

    • MynameisBlarney
    • Manders

      My husband and I discussed this as well.

      Because then it would not just be ballet, but tap, jazz, modern and alllll the ballroom dances. More judges, more athletes more more more.

      There are already all kinds of ballroom competitions. I don’t really feel like I miss seeing it at the Olympics.

      • Scooby

        I was kind of thinking the other way around that figure skating was more art than sport.

        • Manders

          That’s definitely arguable. I feel like it’s the same with gymnastics; that there’s a tension between the artistic and athletic. For example, the emphasis on increasingly difficult athletic elements while generally being unaccepting of more athletic-looking female skaters.

          I don’t know what the answer is. I guess it’s all kinda arbitrary.

          • Mr Canoehead, Porg Griller

            There was a time when full-on arts competition was part of the Olympics.

          • Manders

            No kidding? I had no idea! Thank you for sharing that . . . Now I may lose an afternoon to Googling arts and the Olympics.

            When did it stop?

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Olympic Figure Skating: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………..

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      I love watching the jumps. Go watch some snowboarding and STFU.

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: next up is getting to murder folks on your own private property….

    http://www.nbc12.com/story/37479737/drunk-driving-bill-on-private-property-passes-senate-heads-to-house

    • MynameisBlarney

      That is fucking stupid as hell.
      Talk about trying to pass legislation nobody ever even thought about.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        In most states. it’s already the law. For example, Idaho’s DUI statute provides that it is illegal to “to drive or be in actual physical control of a motor vehicle within this state, whether upon a highway, street or bridge, or upon public or private property open to the public.” Washington’s statute is broader, but is in practice limited to basically the same definition by the courts.

      • Blackest Noobs

        that’s my Republicans in the state of the Vagina….always trying to grab when not asked.

    • HazooToo

      They want to set some sort of precedent that you don’t have to obey the law on your property? Because that’s what it fucking sounds like.

    • Timothy Watson

      Jesus, I live in one fucked up state.

      • Blackest Noobs

        just move on up Tim, soon we’ll have drunk driving killing and IT’S OK, cuz it’s on your private property!!!!!

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      There is a law proposed here in GA to allow people with concealed weapons licenses in other states, have their concealed weapons here without applying for a new license. This is a state that fines you if you haven’t updated your driver’s license within 90 days of moving here. SMDH.

  • arglebargle

    Here’s a good ‘splainer. Basically judges get away with all kinds of cheating with minimal consequences.

    https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/winter-olympics-2018/figure-skating-lets-judges-who-break-rules-return-judge-another-n845441

  • fawkedifiknow

    Come to think of it, there is a “Ripon” in Wisconsin.

    • Erala Contratista

      Also in NorCal.

  • IMPOed

    He is gay, what else could it be?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • William

    Look at it this way. Rippon is still doing better than at least 17 close, Trump, white house “advisers”. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b2f7a8a34b802af32a774df23dc76c2444252ac89a4cbea170794ae904502b42.jpg

    • Shibusa

      Noooooooooo!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Worst season of ‘The Apprentice’ ever.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “Best” season, depending on how you frame it…

    • BearGHAZI

      I LOOOOVE how in the upper picture they are strutting like bosses

  • We were watching “Curling” the other night when somebody observed it would be more efficient and more fun if they used vacuum cleaners instead of brooms.

  • Jgb979

    It’s bs that OAR is allowed to compete in the “team” sports to begin with, since the idea was you could only act as a free agent/ man without a country. As it stands, the only punishment for cheating in LITERALLY EVERY EVENT in Sochi is Russian athletes have to stand under a different flag.

    Who wrote this punishment, Donald Trump?

    It’s also BS now if you can make attempts at quads fall down go boom and get higher scores. I could be an Olympic figure skater if I just claimed to be doing a run of octuple axles that weirdly never once even rotated

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      That was precisely my thought when I was watching last night. Fuck Russia, fuck Russians, fuck Olympic ice skating where the winners are chosen in advance and the math is rigged to give the chosen ones advantages for “elements” that look exactly like everyone else’s fucking elements. The ONLY performance I watched last night besides Rippon’s that I thought was truly moving and beautiful was the Canadian pairs right at the end. They were amazing and deserved their high score.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    All that ice reminds me, I have to dig out the shed so I can dig out the driveway. Laters.

  • Rickyphoo

    Russians are practicing for November 2018 elections.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    There’s always this tension about whether figure skating is an artistic or an athletic endeavor. Sometimes the artistic side prevails. Remember Torvill and Dean? More often, the hardware goes to the animals* who can knock out triples and the occasional quadruple all the doo-dah day. I guess the message is “athletics first, then artistry”.

    * Meant to be non-perjorative – skaters who can knock out triples are *awesome*.

    • Thiazin Red

      Unless you’re Surya Bonaly.

      • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

        She was very brown and French.

    • Katamount

      Look no further than the Battle of the Brians.

  • Shibusa

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/48ae71891c52e18c696752fbc7efbb7a74ccedb53904d88fb2c41a149b273157.jpg
    Apropos of nothing but we had a bit of an ice storm last night. I don’t know if you can see the branches, but the trees are really beautiful this morning. Walking on the snow feels like walking on crème brulée!

    • HazooToo

      When I see Wonkers talking about Winter weather like it actually exists for them, still, I wonder just how fucked I really am, in terms of climate change.

      • Anna Rompage

        I know, I’m in Portland OR, and this morning was maybe the 3rd time I had to scrape frost off of my windshield this season..

        Usually it’s a pretty common occurrence throughout the winter months

        • HazooToo

          I’ve gotten maybe two inches at most, this year, with most of it melting by the next day. I remember getting FEET of snow in previous winters. Maybe this is part of a normal cycle, but it feels fucking WRONG.

          • proudgrampa

            Same here in the Salt Lake City area. We are freakin’ doomed.

          • Parakeetist

            You live in Salt Lake? Are you okay?

          • proudgrampa

            A recovering Baptist can get through anything…

          • Zippy49

            Damn right, we’ve had 1.6 inches of rain this season here in SoCal. It’s, like 60 out right now, and nothing on the radar.

            OTOH, Ms. Zippy’s sister called from Montana, where she is snowed in (>3 feet!) and waiting for a neighbor to plow her driveway.

      • yyyaz

        Hottest and driest January on record at 7000′ where I live. Average snowfall is 100″, have had 11.3″ so far. Maple trees already blooming, pine sap all over the place. Lunacy.

      • Rebel Scum Puipui

        Seattle area here. I haven’t needed a coat in weeks. We’re so fucked.

      • ballo in maschera

        Southern end of the Sierras has very little snow cover. It will be a dry summer..

    • mancityRed6
  • Spurning Beer

    Johnny Weir is looking like a character from The Hunger Games these days.

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      You should have seen him on Friday there/Saturday here.

  • DT

    I cannot tell you how incensed I am about this still. I gave up figure skating because I could see how toxic this shit is.

    • Yellerduck

      Yes, I had to give it up too. I gave it a good hour, but I fell down a lot, mostly because the ice is really slippery and my skates kept going different directions. Then there was the tripper things they put on the front of the skates. Those didn’t help.

      • DT

        I mean, I like your snark, but I made it to junior nationals.

        • Yellerduck

          Well, you probably had “experience”, and “training” and “skill” and stuff. /s

          Seriously, I admire the dedication and persistence it takes to be at that level at anything!

          • H0mer0

            (I like your snarky non comment also too. It’s like “Gee, I don’t think I’m falling on my ass enough on the cold ice. Is there a way to make it happen more often?”)

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT; but…This we already knew, but it’s nice to see it in a major paper.

    The GOP is gonna let/assist roosha meddle in our elections because they can’t get elected without cheating.

    https://upload.democraticunderground.com/100210219490

    • kareemachan

      And better roosha than a gay dude….

  • SayItWithWookies

    See what happens when you let the Russians fuck with the numbers, GOP? The American doesn’t win — the Russian does. Even if you can lie to yourselves for a minute or two that the American did, that’s just veneer.

    • proudgrampa

      Maybe. Just maybe. This could get Trump’s base off its ass if they get the idea that Russia is a bunch of cheaters and it’s not “Fake News.”

      I know. I’m a dreamer.

      • Patricia Sirois

        Yeah, ain’t gonna happen, they own his ass.

    • TootsStansbury

      They want the Russians to win, they hate America.

  • NastyBossetti
    • Lyly Sirivong

      That looks like something from a Guillermo Del Toro movie.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Ski jumping is my favorite event. Because flying the length of three football fields at 60mph or so on glorified sticks and expecting things to go right at the end terrifies me.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I suspect that among a certain age group, ski jumping immediately conjures memories of “the agony of defeat” clip from Wide World of Sports.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, that shit was brutal.

      • mappo

        Grampa, tell us again about the times when there were TV Sports other than football and basketball!

        • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

          And golf. So much golf.

    • wait! what?

      They should grade the long jump on how well you land, too. You could literally jump the farthest in ski jumping and lose a medal placing because of a shaky landing.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Wealthy kid does well in sportz designed for wealthy kids. Good to hear.

    • kareemachan

      Kid does more than you could ever hope to do. Sad to be you.

    • Ω cynmac asks for your excuse?

      Not wealthy kid. Kid who struggled. Stay in your lane.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

      A lot of the Olympic medal winners in ice skating grow up working class. At least the ones I can remember (Nancy Kerrigan, Tonya Harding, Michelle Kwan, Evan Lysacek). Plenty of super rich kids, but a lot more blue collar families than you would think, including Adam.

      Now you won’t find me arguing that it isn’t a *super* white sport, though

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Even the East German judge was all like WTF.

    • MynameisBlarney

      East German?

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        Oldz will get the joke.

        • proudgrampa

          I got it!

          • Hesavebread!

            I laughed, and I am an Old.

        • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

          Yes, they will! LOL

        • Flashman

          A-har-har ((cough, cough)), huck, p-tooey.

  • Thiazin Red

    That Russian girl though, she destroyed that shit. She deserved to be 30 points higher than everyone.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I liked Weir’s comment right before the Russian girl skated. ” 120 to 135 is a great score, and 150…that’s the Russian.”

  • Me not sure

    Because of the banning of the Russian team are there any Russian judges at Pyongchang, or do they have to hack into the scoring?

    • wait! what?

      Russia judges everything; that’s why it’s so insecure.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Everybunny knows the Russian judges are doping.

  • Bemused

    Having watched figure skating before, I am aware that the Russian skaters start out with extra points.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Ghenghis McCann

      That pesky First Amendment.

  • WiscoJoe

    I’m judging this on a curve because gay dudes expect more from gay dudes:

    -point deduction for Coldplay. You’re gay! Have some self respect. Just because you’re an Olympian doesn’t mean you have to lean in to the adult-contemporary heteronormativity of it all.

    -point deduction for the pants. The top is a statement, but then it just cuts off at the waist creating a very imbalanced look. A subtle stripe or a sequined pant cuff or even a stylish belt would have tied the whole look together. Right now it looks like you just got home from the club and threw on some nondescript sweatpants over a cute outfit.

    Other than that, flawless victory.

    • susan_g

      Absolutely agree. Coldplay hacked that great performance.

    • rocktonsam

      Maybe ‘The Fray’ for 200 alex.

  • Ms.Moon

    I was very nearly in tears over Adam’s beautiful skate. I loved every minute of it, he was so gorgeous on the ice. Mike Pence does not deserve to have a nanosecond of beautiful Adam’s time and he has every right to tell Pence no thank you. I absolutely envy every person that he hugged and kissed last night like that girl that got bopped in the head with the flowers that were thrown for him and all his teammates and no kisses or hugs or time of day for Mike Pence from Adam Rippon at all.

  • Bigby

    Johnny Weir is the love child of Loki and Klaus Nomi. I’ve seen the 23andMe…

    • Parakeetist

      A million points for the Klaus Nomi reference

  • Jenny

    Just saying you are going to skate something and not doing it is worth more points. Adam changed his harder program to something he can skate cleanly, ut easier so less points. So just lie like a common Trump and win gold.

    Real scandal. Why are the US female skaters apparently not good enough to take advantage of the points structure? Seriously, the Russian girls are good but they’re also putting all their jumps in the second half of their performance. The Americans couldn’t pull that off? Puuuuuhlease.

    • kareemachan

      Wow, such a nice person to say what you do in your profile…..

      Makes your comments make more sense, tho.

      • Jenny

        People who click on my profile do it for one reason, to follow me around and repost to everything I post like a common Brietfart fans. Ain’t got time for that.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      “Girls?” Srsly?

      • Jenny

        One is 15. The other is 18. Seems like girls to me.

        • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

          Women. Women athletes. Calling them “girls” is demeaning, dismissive, and disrespectful. They belong to the Women’s teams of their respective countries. Women. Say it with me.

          • Jenny

            Get over yourself.

          • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

            Yaaahhh….no, don’t think I will, but thanks for playing!

      • Thiazin Red

        They’re literally teenage girls.

        • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

          I am aware of their chronological ages. You call them “women” because they’re women athletes on the Women’s team(s). It’s respectful.

    • Manders

      This is a thing that has always pissed me off about point scoring in gymnastics and skating. I understand that you want athletes to push themselves. But a routine where someone falls down 2-3 times and still wins is kind of BS.

    • Bemused

      Mirai Nigasu did well last night but IMO she didn’t have some of the skills down as well as the other women. Her spins were kind of stiff and her footwork didn’t look as good to me. As much as the Russian skaters do tend to get a judging advantage, watching the Russian women’s program vs the US, you could see a pretty clear quality difference in the skating. The Russian woman was visibly better over all IMO.

      • Thiazin Red

        Yeah, it was obviously a different level than the other programs.

      • Jenny

        Oh no doubt the Russians are better artistically and technically. But the choreography for the American teams were really boring. Almost as boring as Germany and Japan. Wait, same coach.

    • Rags

      There’s more to the Russians. She pulled a triple axel/triple toe loop combo while Mirai’s triple axel counted as a miracle.

      • manuski

        Nobody in the ladies competition other than Marai even attempted a triple. Zagatova did do a double axel/triple toe.

  • canes_pugnaces

    You’d think we, as a society, are beyond punishing people for who, what, or why they like to have sex.

    • Me not sure

      Our Puritanical past insures that there can never be too much punishing.

      • Parakeetist

        Not if you do it right.

    • Rags

      It’s all about power, not sex.

  • worst 80’s revival ever.

  • Flashman

    No doubt, Mike Pence and his Prayer Warrior wife were cheering for the Russian.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    This guy curls, right? I’m not keeping track of the White Olympics.

    • Me not sure

      Curling rules!
      Actually… ugliest uniforms and most unathletic folks there. Also too, it seems to be a game motivated by pure spite.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Did Red Green make the medals round?

        • Rags

          no, but he got a special award for most creative use of duct tape in an Olympic event.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            What can I say? They ran out of condoms.

        • Me not sure

          They get medals for that! Really?

      • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

        Canadians had to develop SOME socially acceptable outlet for that emotion.

    • manuski

      I’m for any sport where you can drink a beer while competing.

  • TJ Barke

    OT: Remember how Poland is trying to make it illegal to say they collaborated with Germany? They’re running fucking YouTube ads about it.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘Never mind the pre-war, right-wing, anti-semitic government that was in power. We’re the victims here.’

    • Lord Jim

      Are they running against Turkey for host nation of the Alliance of State-Enforced Historical Revisionism?

      • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

        Trying to transliterate “Reccep Tayyip Erdogan” into Polish. Mind twisted into pretzel. Naptime.

    • Me not sure

      I saw those things. The internet has become the world’s foremost propaganda mill.

    • Darkrose

      I saw one of those last night. It was horrifying.

  • Erala Contratista

    It’s figure skating, Jake……

  • lucidamente

    Never been much for watching ice skaters / dancers, but after Adam Rippon and that insanely hot Canadian couple, holy fucking shit.

  • Keepwishing

    This tragedy is exactly why Wonkette needs to exist….can’t donate at the moment, dealing with the death of my only child. (10 years old) but I will. Thank you so much for a needed distraction, your writing is genius and then some…. Never stop, you make a difference….

    • Erala Contratista

      Oh, my dear…..
      You have the strength to reach out.
      Welcome
      With love

    • Rebel Scum Puipui

      I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      I am so sorry for your loss. There simply are no words.

    • Lord Jim

      Dear God. Deep sorrow for your loss.

    • Zyxomma

      Deep, heartfelt condolences.

      • Keepwishing

        whathappenedtoava.com. whitewashed, my ex went on opiods and drugged up and killed my baby….. thanks for the condolences, I’m going off the planet…. take care of yourselves and please support Wonkette….

        • Hesavebread!

          I hope I’m misunderstanding but please don’t do anything rash. Please stay and talk.

    • lroom

      I’m so sorry to hear that. My granddaughter is the same age. This website has kept me from losing it a lot of times in the past year. The articles are great but the folks in the comment section are what makes this place special.

      • Patricia Sirois

        I agree. These have been the best.

    • Changeling

      I don’t know if you read this, but I lost my only one at 9 in 2015. And there are others. You’re not the only one dealing with this here, so reach out if you need. But agreed, the distraction was important for me too… and trying to fight for good against evil, because my daughter would have understood that.

      • Patricia Sirois

        Again, UGH, and I’m sorry for your loss as well.

    • Patricia Sirois

      UGH, so sorry for your loss! I’ll kick in for you.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Adam Rippon, You are my sparkly rhinestone bedazzled bosom buddy FOREVA!

    I love a man who has an appreciate for sparkliness!

  • Katamount

    Sorry, Patrick Chan can’t hear you over the sound of the Gold Medal polish. Something about being a sore loser?

    https://assets1.sportsnet.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/18519620-1040×572.jpg

    • MaryMitch

      It was so nice to see Patrick finally have a program where he hardly fell at all!

      • Katamount

        His last year has not been the best. It’s nice to see some redemption.

  • Nounverb911
    • UncleTravelingMatt
    • Rebel Scum Puipui

      Why is he being eaten by kudzu? Is it supposed to be a metaphor or something?

    • Lord Jim

      WTF is that? When did O get a flat-top? Did the painter rinse the canvas with a bucket of turpentine after he was done for that “washed-out” look? Thomas Kincaide could have done a better job.

    • akryan

      michelle’s was pretty fucking weird too. She looks corpse grey and is wearing a picnic sheet with random checkerboard designs on it. both of them got some bizarre portraits. sometimes a traditional portrait really is the best portrait.

      • Patricia Sirois

        Yeah, I had to go read the artist’s statement to figure out what was going on. Turns out this artist paints all of her African-American subjects (they all are, as is she) gray-toned to be ambiguous (don’t agree w/that as that’s the whole point in this case, not to mention MO’s skin is gorgeous), and she doesn’t render faces exactly on purpose (again, ??). Also the flat pastel background deliberate. At least 44 looks himself.

    • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

      On the upside, it’s nice to see the work of Terry Gilliam featured in such a prominent place.

  • JDM

    Back when men’s skating was supposed to be non-graceful, I saw Canadian Toller Cranston give a perfect performance. He got a bronze for it.

    • Katamount

      He is missed.

      • ltmcdies

        his skating commentary was to die for. You think Tara and Weir can be hard on people….

    • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

      More bush than a 70s porno

      He chose the artist, though, right? I seem to remember that he was allowed to choose.

  • DainBramage

    Judging for ice skating has always been a bit slippery. Reputation and country of origin seems to count for a lot.

    • Zyxomma

      Yes. I remember Kristi Yamaguchi giving a flawless, exciting performance, but the gold went to washed-up old Katerina (sp?) Witt, just because.

  • rocktonsam

    A common wisconsin what now?

  • SadDemInTex

    My sister was a competitive ice skater. The judges have always been a bit sleezy in the sport. There was truth in what Tonya Harding said about how she was judged because she came from a low class/poor backround. They did judge you for stupid unrelated shit.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I wondered if some of the judges might be not-okay with Rippon’s sexuality and the way he talks. It would be ironic because it’s about as shocking that there are gay male skaters as it is that salt contains salt, but it did worry me a tad. The scoring seemed to bear this out.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      And whether or not it was “your turn.” Just ask Paul Wiley, who skated the long program of his life but the judges gave the gold to Viktor Petrenko because Wiley had never scored higher than 9th in a national competition and he hadn’t paid his dues yet.

      • ltmcdies

        different scoring system.

  • Relativicus

    Is “slight under-rotation” better, worse, or the same as “needs just a little bit more salt”?

    • SadDemInTex

      I, too, have slammed my head on desk when I hear that as a cooking criticism.

  • Swiper Fox

    Extra points for In ‘n’ Out reference.

  • ltmcdies

    this is where I go over to tweet football and baseball and nascar threads to give profound opinions on a sport I know nothing about
    Kids…even in the bad old days of a skater didn’t get docked for falling. That element just didn’t count. Which meant it didn’t matter if the skater took off on the correct edge, didn’t matter what their position in the air was, didn’t matter if they completed the correct number of revolutions, etc.

    they got nothing for any bit of the jump that counts just as much as landing.

    this article is a pretty good breakdown of how CoP works.

    https://rinksidecafe.wordpress.com/2014/01/06/skating-101-code-of-points-basics/

    Rippon had a great skate but at the top you gots to bring up the technical content in every program. Otherwise we’re watching Stars on Ice without the fancy pagent lighting.

    • manuski

      Kolyada was overscored in his GOEs and his PCS due to SWR (Skating While Russian)

      • ltmcdies

        prove it.

        • manuski

          But Kolyada DID outscore Rippon on the technical score (88.35 vs 86.20), and I’m not arguing that. My point is his PCS score was too high compared to Rippons ( 86.22 vs 86.78). How anyone could judge these programs virtually equal in PCS is beyond me.

          • ltmcdies

            Not going to disagree but that why upping the technical in these competitions is so important.

        • renegade500

          This is true, but on the women’s side, even though Kostner didn’t have the technical content of the other skaters (esp those firecracker Russian young women), she was still highly rewarded for being such a pretty skater by having her component score boosted. Rippon’s component score was lower than I think it should have been, because even though he didn’t have the technical content, he skated the prettiest, most artistically of any male last night, and his artistic score was barely higher than Kolyada’s.

      • MaryMitch

        You mean “SWOAR”.

        That was ridiculous. I’m glad Rippon didn’t make a big deal about it… that’s always been part of skating.

        • Magnificent Mopery.

          I was just going to say that, in the 50-plus years that I have been watching the Olympics the ABSENCE of a skating brouhaha is news.

  • ryp

    This piece almost made me care about figure skating.

    • TimResistit

      I actually like it. But, not enough to make me watch NBC’ smarmy , corn-fried coverage of it.

      • renegade500

        I’ve been watching the NBC Sports coverage, since you get everything. They also have different announcers. Although I have to admit I kind of do enjoy The Glitter Twins (Lipinksi and Weir, the nickname that Terry Gannon has given them).

    • stablegeniusahughes798

      Same here. I don’t even think it should be considered a sport, along with any other activity that uses subjective methods of awarding points.

  • TimResistit

    God I hate Russia.

    • Tony Prost

      Putin promised Trump he had no hand in that judging.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      They’re a lot like us, played by those in power. The guy at the top is a dick who the authoritarians love and the intelligent dislike and loathe, but the fear of reprisal keeps them from speaking out.

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Evan, you get yourself over there and Granny can hook you up with a place to stay about an hour from PyongChang.

  • Tennessee Rain Genius

    I was perusing Huff Post and reading an article about Adam. It claimed he’s the first openly gay US male figure skater. Yeah. Because who would have ever guessed Johnny Weir is gay.

    • renegade500

      I know Rudy Galindo was openly gay as well, although it doesn’t appear he ever made it to the Olympics.

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        I had to look it up. He was never an Olympian. I did not realize that.

    • PeedeResistance

      Johnny Weir was NEVER openly gay in his skating days–he was nauseatingly coy about it until it became something he thought he could sell.

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        No one had to ask him.

        • PeedeResistance

          You must not know much about closets, about gays, or about coy evasion of questions about sexual preference. The point is not that you thought he was gay because of your noxious stereotyping (LOL)–the point is that he never came out of the closet until years after he stopped competing. Your perceptions of him did not make him gay. SMH

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            Yes. That’s exactly it. It has nothing to do with living right near where he trained and knowing people who know him, including coaches at that ice rink. It’s that I’m a big fat fucking homophobe.

          • PeedeResistance

            You certainly are, and public disclosure certainly has nothing to do with personal knowledge if indeed you actually possess any of that about Weir, which I seriously doubt.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            I regret that I offended you. Feel free to block me so that you are no longer subjected to my offensive posts. However, I assure you that I am not your enemy. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            I was going to apologize for offending you, but then I read your profile and see that you make a habit of being offended. I’m comfortable knowing who I am and knowing what I believe. As I stated elsewhere, people who are actively looking for reasons to be offended will find them. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

          • PeedeResistance

            You’re hilarious. Of course, you did in fact apologize for offending me, but then made your previous ill-bred behavior even worse by ‘retracting’ your apology and ‘editing’ your previous post. LOL. I would not dream of wasting my time reading even one of your former posts; your reading of a few of mine followed by your latest stupid and incorrect assumption/assertion confirms everything I already knew about you. I’m completely comfortable with myself, who I am, and what I believe, and you know nothing of any of those things–or indeed anything at all about me. However, I’m now certain that you’re not only a clueless homophobe, you’re a rude ignoramus. Do have a nice life :)

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            bye, Felicia

          • PeedeResistance

            But you are, Blanche. :)

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            What the fuck ever. Peace out.

          • PeedeResistance

            What part of ‘bye, Felicia’ don’t you get?

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            I am not “sweetiepie” to you, but thanks for displaying your sexism for everyone to note.

      • Magnificent Mopery.

        …Or until he could be sure that coming out would not destroy his career. Get real.

        • PeedeResistance

          …Utter drivel. If you notice the stereotypical assumptions made by Tennessee, you will be able to figure out that Weir was PERCEIVED as ‘gay’ by many if not most people, which in fact is far worse than honesty and openness. Scandal depends on lies and coverups. Get a clue.

          • Magnificent Mopery.

            I perceive that you have, as Mark Twain once said (more or less), turned a four-foot pig of thought into a 30-foot bar of argumentative railroad iron by attenuation.

          • PeedeResistance

            So, so sorry that actual logic, thought, and cognition defeat you so utterly. I perceive that you managed to turn a rather amusing Mark Twain quote into idiotic gibberish simply by mangling it to suit your would-be ‘purposes.’ Simple is as simple does, and your mind is nothing if not simple–in fact, feeble and attenuated unto dysfunction.

          • Magnificent Mopery.

            What’s that clucking noise? Oh, it’s you.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Openly gay, yes. Gay men have been at the center of the Olympics since they began.

      • Tennessee Rain Genius

        Johnny Weir has been openly gay since forever

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          We have always known about male figure skaters, but being openly gay could cost them their sponsors and ultimately their career. Religious assholes are nothing new.

        • PeedeResistance

          Wikipedia: “In 2011 Weir published an autobiography titled Welcome to My World in which he traced the path he took to become a skating champion, plus outlined his philosophy. In the book he also confirmed that he is gay.”
          I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me that a poseur who purports to know all about figure skating while repeatedly misspelling Paul Wylie’s name wouldn’t know when Weir came out either–or even understand what the phrase ‘openly gay’ means.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            Oooh. You win the internet. Congratulations.

          • PeedeResistance

            gawud, you are dumber than a thumb. No wonder you got nowhere in gymnastics.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            Really? My mortal sin to you is the fact that I claimed a flamboyant male figure skater was gay before he said so? In an industry known for attracting gay males? And for this, you have attacked and attacked and attacked me? Well, get ready to be really offended because I also didn’t think Ellen or Melissa Etheridge needed to announce the fact that they are gay either. Gee. Turns out I was right. On all accounts.

            And, fun fact for you, it turns out that my gymnastics career was thwarted by compulsory exercises which needed to be done either left handed or right handed. But, I do some things like a left handed person and some things like a right handed person. Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but I figured I address your bullshit insult anyway to set the record straight.

          • PeedeResistance

            Ah, she just can’t stop compounding her rudeness, her atrocities, and her stupidities. News flash: I was an elite gymnast, and people as cretinously pigheaded as you never succeeded–probably because they refused to heed or listen to any coaching. Pro tip for you: your asinine assumptions about the sexualities of various public figures are neither Holy Writ nor reliable, and the fact that you doubled and tripled down on them when you were *proven* wrong is just another indicator of the bullshit that is your sum total. Snowflakes (term used derisively and completely advisedly) like you always see any correction of their mistakes, their errors, or their illogic as ‘attack,’ of course. It’s really your problem, and ONLY your problem, that you know nothing about GLBT life, about what ‘openly gay’ actually means, and about the dangers of unwarranted assumptions. Since you decided to curse, let me assure you that my last two insults to you here are both totally non-sexist; I use them interchangeably for men and women. You’re not only a bitch, you’re a flaming hemorrhoidal asshole. Blocked with pleasure.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            Uh….okay. I guess I’m blocked, but it is rather interesting to find out that I was proven wrong and that Ellen, Melissa Etheridge and Johnny Weir are all heterosexuals. But, seriously. I’ve always been a champion of LGBT rights even though I’m a flaming heterosexual. I have absolutely no dog in the fight. But, I fight anyway. Because gay rights are human rights and because no one should ever, ever be dehumanized because of who they love. Because love is love is love is love is love is love is love. So seriously dude, go fuck yourself. I’ve had enough of your stupidity and your anger and your insults. I don’t deserve it because I simply pointed out the obvious. Johnny Weir is gay. Fuck me for being honest.

          • Patricia Sirois

            Look, there is a huge distinction between being “openly gay” that does not include, “we could tell you were”. That’s what they were correcting you about.

          • Tennessee Rain Genius

            My mistake. Johnny Weir is a flaming heterosexual.

          • Dang, you keep using all of these huge words, we’ll have to get out our Dictionary. While you want to sound intelligent by using them & trashing Tennessee, you actually make yourself look ignorant. Your supposed smackbacks at Tennessee are actually smacking back on you.

            The statement about them not knowing what ‘openly gay’ means was ridiculous. My 2 year old grandson knows what that means & I’m still looking where they even mention Paul Wylie. Again, I may have missed one of their comments but so what if they misspelled it. WTF would that have to do with them being gay & when they came out OPENLY? Absolutely nothing.

            Through all of your comments, I have one question: Troll much because you don’t get attention any other way? Bless. Get out a little more. You may be surprised at the arguments you can find face to face without hiding behind a screen because you are digging hard for one here.

          • PeedeResistance

            You’re a laugh riot in a truly pathetic way. Apparently you cannot read any better than you write, or you would have comprehended a) that the other poster DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT BEING OPENLY GAY MEANS , and demonstrated it multiple times b) that the other poster misspelled Wylie’s name multiple times, which hardly displays the sort of intimate familiarity with the skating world which SHE CLAIMED TO HAVE c) that in fact the other poster embarrassed herself, rather as you have done, by displaying Philistinism, utter hatred of polysyllabic discourse (is that because you can’t understand anything beyond a monosyllable? Thought so.), and deep-seated imbecility about being gay, coming out, and the homophobia you trolls still cherish and cling to. Through your entire comment, I have one question: Troll much because you’re so stupid? Clearly, morons like you make picking fights a completely unnecessary thing, and your amateur psychoanalysis is just as cretinous as your attempts at insult.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I am surprised by how into Adam Rippon and Gus Kenworthy I am. And it’s not just because they are hot hot hotties, though that helps. It just makes me realize how hungry I actually am for images (plural) of gay men (plural) being their out gay selves (plural) at an event like the Olympics. I was saying on Twitter, in an unfinished tweet that went out before I was ready and then I was all “eh,” that no heterosexual man has ever seen an Olympics in which there were no people like him. I was responding to people who say that they don’t see the big deal about Rippon and Kenworthy (and speed skater Brittany Bowe and the eleven other out LGBT athletes at these games), that it’s irrelevant that they’re gay. The point is, I find it highly relevant and surprisingly moving.

    • renegade500

      Apparently someone asked Rippon what it was like training as a gay athlete, and he replied it’s just like training as a straight athlete – a lot of hard work, except with better eyebrows. I loved it!

      • Magnificent Mopery.

        Kid’s got skating chops, AND a quick wit.

      • de_Pizan

        https://twitter.com/Adaripp/status/956212673192103937?ref_src=twsrc^tfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fdisqus.com%2Fby%2Fde_Pizan%2F

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I saw that and laughed hard.

        Also too, because I am an Old, it reminded me of when some twit asked Pat Schroeder if she was running for president “as a woman,” and she responded “do I have a choice?”

        • renegade500

          haha, do I have a choice! I love it.

    • Manders

      Probably/hopefully it will be NBD by the next Olympics. What matters is that they are out and open in a way not possible in pretty recent history. I understand the impulse to pretend history is irrelevant because Everything Is Fine Now, but it’s a) naiive and b) exasperating.

  • La forza del resistino

    That was Oatmeal. Thanks, Mr Weir. I needed a new put down catch phrase.

  • ltmcdies
  • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

    Oatmeal? More like groceries.

    Call me, Adam?

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Someone’s probably already shared this, but it made me smile. And I’m totally guilty of the Whitney thing in the car.
    https://deadspin.com/that-time-that-adam-rippon-sang-a-rihanna-song-and-then-1822918073

  • M.E. Lawrence

    Am glad I’m not alone in my puzzlement. Kolyada is obviously gifted but not having his best night. Rippon brings it–and even manages to do so without being slurpy and schmaltzy and OMG-I’m-living-my-dream and all that. Was that it: was he too tasteful?

    (Meanwhile, I’m also worried about Alina Zagitova, who seemed close to perfect in the way that fearless and agile 15-year-olds can be on the ice, but 20 points past Nagasu, who skates like a woman and does triple axels and things that terrify the spectator? I think not.)

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I thought that was because of all the extra points Zagitova racks up by leaving all of her jumps til the second half like a 15 year old looney.

  • Mike Steele

    Know how old Lady MS is? I still think the most underrated male skater of all time was Toller Cranston – now THAT guy was out there, a skilled technician & fearless artist.

  • This article hit the nail on the head. It also added some great sarcasm as well. Rippon totally HYPNOTIZED me. Not one step (or skate) was off. Other dude kept falling so why does he get credit because he tried quads but fell? Hell, next time, Rippon needs to put on the judge’s cards that he’s going to do 3 Quints. Now, we know he’s going to fall but he tried them, RIGHT??? What a piece of bologna on a stick. Maybe it was because at the end, the Russian acted so excited as if he did something. I was like, “Dude, you fell 5 times & didn’t land anything. Why you so happy?”

    Loved Johnny Weir’s statement when he called the Russian’s performance “Oatmeal”. Dude don’t play with words.

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    I’ve evolved…

    I have said in forums similar to this one that judged events have no place in “The Olympics” tm. I don’t believe that anymore. Frankly, if judged events were removed from “The Olympics” tm, “The Olympics” tm would be boring as fuck. I just wish the judges had the guts to eschew politics and “pride of country” and judge like a judge. You know…impartial like…

  • mclepus

    out and proud can’t win gold?

  • what, me worry?

    You start from a potential score, and then get deductions from there. A quad is worth way more than a triple. Even if you FALL DOWN GO BOOM on a quad, you will net more points than sticking a triple, because of the values.

    Rippon decided, all on his own, knowing the various score values, to not attempt any quads. And that’s why he was third.

    That being said, figure skating isn’t a sport. Nor is gymnastics, or freestyle skiing, or synchronized swimming. Sport consists of an athletic competition. Not everything athletic is competitive, and not everything competitive is athletic. So, Curling is also not a sport. Anything you can do while smoking isn’t a sport. Sorry Curlers.

    If you can’t tell who won until a group of jackasses tell you who did it “best”, it isn’t a sport. Athletic as fuck, but not a competition.

    • MaryMitch

      So, by your definition, boxing isn’t a sport. I’ll let you tell Mayweather.

  • Lotus954

    Wow. I just read through the comments here. It’s the first time I’ve seen this type of vitriol on Wonkette. SO sorry to see it here. I didn’t expect an off the rails insult fest at the first word about someone being gay. We have a charming, witty, enthusiastic, incredibly talented skater there…who, incidentally, just happens to be gay. Live with it.

  • Wes

    ♫What would Adam Rippon do if he was here today…♫
    https://youtu.be/sNJmfuEWR8w

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