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He still looks like this now.

Devin Nunes: Renaissance Man

Look out Arthur Sulzberger! Congressional Dairy Farmer Devin Nunes is starting his own media empire to let Californians know what’s really going on. Sadly, the California Republican is currently offline “due to heavy traffic and an attack on our servers” after Politico posted a story about it yesterday, OH, NOES! We won’t be able to experience “the best of US, California, and Central Valley news, sports, and analysis” with our old pal Devin.

Guess we’re stuck getting our fake news from the lamestream media, not a reliable source like Devin’s website. He used $8,000 in donor money to set it up, so you know the reporting is top notch!

Let’s ponder for a moment the irony of Devin Nunes, a guy who is supposed to be investigating how Russians sponsored fake news stories like the one below to interfere with the 2016 election, directing his energies and campaign dollars instead to establishing his own fake news site.

It was the worst of times, it was THE WORST of times!

Let’s Check Out That Facebook Page!

Ooooh, killer graphics!

CAR! Vroom, vroom. BEAR! Grrrrrrrrrr.

What else have those interns cooked up? Got some sweet wingnut links for us?

Very professional! It’s important to telegraph that you’re doing an independent investigation by letting us know the outcome beforehand. You can tell Justice Roberts that when you bring him before the committee for a lesson on How to Law Good.

Wanna slag your coworkers a little bit, like a normal 44-year-old grownass adult?

Well, that should make those HPSCI meetings even more fun!

I Know You Are, But What Am I!

Oh Lord, the Twitter feed is being manned by Tracy Flick!

DEVIN, you are a married father of three, representing California’s 22nd District in the United State Congress! Can you at least pretend to be an adult?!

WUT?

Oh, COME ON!

The Klanbake Meme? Really? How many times does Jennifer Mendelsohn have to kick your ass on this one before you stop posting this bullshit lie?

LOLOLOL!!! Well, now we need another special prosecutor to investigate Devin Nunes for MURDERING IRONY DEAD.

Je Suis Ted Lieu

Yeah, what that guy said! Also this guy, Andrew Janz, who is running against that idiot Nunes this fall. You should give him a buck or two, if you can!

Can confirm, Devin Nunes is an illiterate loon who needs to GTFO for the good of the country! NOT FAKE NEWS.

Follow your FDF on Twitter!


Please money us! It’s going to be a long week, month, year, presidency…

[Politico / Newsweek]

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  • ManchuCandidate
    • Dg Hacket

      Grandmaster B!

  • Stulexington

    $8,000 … that’s almost enough to pay for what, a month of this mommyblog? 3 weeks? Weak, sad.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      It’s cheaper when you don’t actually have to research and verify stuff.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    We’re better. And funnier. And wittier. And sexier.

    • Stulexington

      And better at raising funding.

  • MynameisBlarney

    It’s almost as if Nunes is incompetent or something.

    • sarafina

      Imagine that.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Devin Nunes: Renaissance Man

    Misspelled “Piltdown”

  • kareemachan

    How pathetic.

  • Asterix

    I’m not sure if I’m happy or sad that republicans butchered irony to death.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Look out Arthur Sulzberger!

    Senior? Cause that boy makes me yearn for/to Punch.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, when your nickname is “Pinch”…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Constant wedgies and having his head flushed in the toilet in high school have obviously caused lasting damage to this sad fuck.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • NotDarkYet

    Давайте выпьем за успех нашего дела!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • mfp, not sotu

      that face, the one on the left…that’s the face of the putz who spent all of high school sucking up to the star athlete so’s he wouldnt get his ass beat more than once a week

  • Cock Blockula

    It’s almost as if he knows his congressional grift will soon end and he has to start a new grift to segue into.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    And that last tweet got one, count ’em one retweet. Was it Devin? Or Trump? Maybe Eric?

    • Stulexington

      Or the one bot account he could afford?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I go with the bot. We know it couldn’t be Eric. He’s too busy re-launching Trump Magazine, and we know he can’t do one thing without fucking it up let alone two.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    I think “Schiff for brains” is funny, tho

    • Skeptical_thinker

      At least Adam Schiff has brains and knows how to use them.

    • Stulexington

      Agreed, but is he trying to be serious, snarky, asshole? He has no core identity to his looserblog.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Ironic because Schiff is a pretty good thing to have for brains. Cause he’s smart.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        A heck of a lot smarter than Devin the Dotard.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It’s a good hashtag.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • dslindc
  • James Baskin

    California Republican? There was great deal of thought went into that name I’m sure.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Start thinking up a name for this funky dog. Something along the lines of, say, ‘Poochie’ only more proactive.”

    • Seek

      Well, on one hand he is correct. Fairly soon it may be just one. We will stop and point and laugh in a cruel and vicious manner appropriate for us Demon Democrats and say sneeringly – “There he is The California Republican.”

      Although we may also put him on an endangered species list. If they keep behaving this way and Orange County flips to the Dems we may move on to his neck of the woods and start converting those heathens as well.

  • Fatalysk Barnes

    Tulare news flash…. local man publishes newsletter… claims he will soon learn to read.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    From the Urban Dictionary:

    Nunes

    The feeling of disappointment brought on by the inability to take a shit.

    He thought he needed to go but he ended up with a Nunes.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I am totally Nunesing right now.

  • cheetojeebus

    Devin Nunes, Ted Cruz with less Brilcream.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Brylcreem. Spelling counts!

      • cheetojeebus

        fictsed it.

  • Indiepalin

    Nunes spent Sunday with Trump watching the Ice Boxing prelims.

    • willi0000000

      cubed or crushed?

  • wait! what?

    Okay.

    I did bring down Davie’s site.

    It’s SSL certificate was drunk on a street corner talking shit, and looking kinda hot. So we hooked up, had 13 red bulls w/vodka, and accidently fucked each other w/root access…

    • kareemachan

      Somebody had to do it….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Give that this IS a conspiracy theory site, I’m assuming that InfoWars and Breitbart launched DDOS attacks to silence a potential rival.

      With Hillary Clinton’s email server, of course!

      • wait! what?

        #ofcourse!

      • Marion in Savannah

        WHOA IF TRUE! But if true they did the nation a service.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Good luck with that. If the Russians couldn’t hack Hillary’s server, Alex Jones sure as hell can’t.

    • The Wanderer

      Gotta be careful, or you could have gotten a nasty computer virus.

      • wait! what?

        Especially, since I’m an old. I can’t afford to have any of my bits fall off, anymore.

  • Stulexington

    Hmmm, a bear and a single 5 point star in the upper left hand corner … really strong national symbols there.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Friend, is simply traditional symbols of glorious California Republic, with many great histories and patriotic citizens!

      • Stulexington

        Truly the greatest symbols of mother California.

    • Erala Contratista

      Also CAR.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I have to admit that my jaw is on the ground with this one. Is it… I don’t know, legal? I assume it was taken down because someone higher up the Congressional ladder was, like, No! Bad Devin!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Certainly the Speaker of the House has the authority to prosecute this sort of conflict of interest. I assume. But we’ll never find out because Republicans are learning when they control all three branches they can basically do whatever they want.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, given that the current speaker is yet another compromised by Russia traitor, it’s not like he’s going to do shit to Devin.

        It is, yet again, up to the voters in Devin’s district to take action. With, you know, votes. Sharp pointy ones.

      • Erala Contratista

        So far.

    • Stulexington

      Assumes responsible leadership not in evidence.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    A site for a collection of utter assholes.

    Like we need another.

    • Daniel Hooper

      Seriously; we already have Wonkette. And at least we’re assholes who are right 99% of the time.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Fair point!

    • grindstone

      I ran across a comment on WaPo that said, “why are there no left wing talk shows? Because no one is listening.” What that sounds like to me is that they have to have someone tell them what to think, what to be outraged about, and what entitlement they’re missing out on today because the lesbian farmers took their bibles.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        You have to watch those lesbian farmers ALL THE TIME, preferably on PPV.

        • Captain Kraut

          Lesbian Spank Inferno libelz!!1!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            True story: when I was working at the Eugene Free Net, someone set up a web page with a game contained in it called Lesbian Temple of Doom.

            We got slashdotted, had to take the site down, not for content, but because we couldn’t handle all those teenagers trying to play the game.

          • Crank Tango

            Something something whistling.

    • Paul Dietzel

      Well, given that Devin is a cow farmer, wouldn’t that be udder assholes?

  • Daniel Hooper

    I’m going to go to work soon, where I’m going to deal with idiot doctors, co-workers and patients. Doctor’s who don’t understand that telling a patient to take a pill every day for a month and only authorizing one pill total is a problem, co-workers who take any action you make as a personal attack even if it has nothing to do with them, and patients who expect me to do everything short of putting the pills in their mouth for them. They’re infuriating, but I remain a calm, collected individual in front of them.

    If I ever meet Devin Nunes in real life, I’m going to try and uppercut him into the stratosphere.

  • LadyLaz

    What a child.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Yeah, there’s a definite air of ‘Look at me! I can do this too! See? See?’ about this whole business.

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      He reminds me of great Russian poet. What is name? Putz-kin.

  • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/22b58fbc663c50497b295678aa37c425a1d5785a5663c0610a94ae5faf9f25da.jpg

    My thoughts and prayers go out to the car.

    Also, too, Devin Nunes is a disgrace to all Portuguese people born in the Azores. My grandparents are from the same island as his family, and can report they send him scathing e-mails every week. Shaming won’t work; he’s a sociopath.

    • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

      Schiff/Maisel 2020!

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Maisel was the best new show I’ve seen in a while.

        • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

          Agreed. It was delightful in (nearly) every way.

          The weakest link was her husband. That schmuck.

          • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

            It’s a great show, and I’m already counting down the months till season 2.

    • Bad Tom

      So Nunes is the child of IMMIGRANTS?!?
      (In Dalek voice) DEPORT! DEPORT! DEPORT!
      ——-
      The truth of my assertion is irrelevant in Trump world, so DEPORT!

      • Barbara

        Goℴgle pays to people of all ages 97 dollars per-hour to complete few task off a home computer .. Labor for only few hours & fun greater time with your own friends . Any person can catch this specific job!!last weekend I purchased a new McLaren F2 after just getting $15422 this-past/five weeks .it’s certainly the best work however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t look it.!zx531j:=>=>> http://GoogleCubeBestFreelanceInternetJobs/make/97$/h ♥♥j♥♥♥l♥♥♥x♥u♥♥m♥♥♥e♥♥♥c♥♥♥l♥♥♥a♥♥♥z♥i♥♥♥u♥g♥o♥♥p♥♥g♥g♥♥♥o♥♥♥d♥♥♥k♥♥v♥♥♥a♥♥♥c♥♥♥v♥c::!ne682y:dyfcm

        • Bad Tom

          FUCKING INDICTED TO DISQUS!
          Always. Always. Always.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Since the early 1990s cars in the US have all been fuel-injected, i.e. no accelerator piston in the carburetor (because no carburetor). So the old practice of pumping the gas pedal to “revive” a stumbling engine is almost useless now. The engine control computer matches fuel delivery to mass airflow, therefore “flooding the fuel line with gas” is not a thing. But a leaking high-pressure fuel rail is a thing. Symptoms would include stumbling when engine revving is attempted, and fire.

    • Erala Contratista

      Which island?
      Got much family and friends from an assortment of the Azores….

      • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

        Mostly Terceira, with one grandpa from Pico. Which islands for you… potential cousin :- )

        • Erala Contratista

          Same, plus Sao Jorge. Probably more, but I neglected to do a flow chart. Gets complicated fast!

          • Treg (ง •̀_•́)

            Ever been? I’m hoping I can make the trip after I finish school. My Portuguese is horrible, I understand more than I speak, but I can swear like a Portuguese sailor! (Thanks grandma Mary)

  • Fatalysk Barnes

    Portagee joke: Devin Nunes is publishing a newsletter. That’s it.

  • msanthropesmr

    What’s this asshole’s end game?

    • The Wanderer

      Re-election, Lobbyist, Fox News Analyst.

      • Covfefe

        Staying out of jail.

    • glasspusher

      His end game is only the beginning!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Probably separating rubes from their moneez. Isn’t that what they all yearn for?

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        And an emerging market- rubes from their rubles.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    By “protecting” the firm, they mean making the owner come to the hill for several hours of testimony.

    I know, I know, Republicans don’t know what a word means. Shocking

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Wanderer

      “As a Jedi Master, I drink only the finest liquors. Which is why I reach out my hand for Qui-Gon Gin, the Spirit of the Force!”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Oh, this so works on multiple levels!

    • Bad Tom

      Hmmm Dude’s nipples appears to have migrated to his armpits. Not sure if those ‘roids are totally good for ‘ya.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        From the look on his face it might be hemorrhoids rather than steroids causing his problems.

  • HazooToo

    Kind of OT: If you could pick only one thing that caused this current political cataclysm, and prevent it from ever happening, but it had to be BEFORE 2015, what would it be?

    • Johnatx

      Lewis Powell. He and his Powell memorandum. Pretty much laid out the way that the GOP has taken over

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Stop Nixon from enacting the Southern Strategy.

    • (((Secret Agent Sedagive)))

      I’d tell that first fish that dragged itself up on the shore to turn around and go back: the water’s just fine.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      The rescue of hostages in Iran works perfectly.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Richard Nixon. His paranoia and resentment, and thirst for power, established the foundation of the current GOP.

    • littlegreen

      Fox News — the worst thing that’s ever happened to America.

      • littlegreen

        The repeal of the Fairness Doctrine in the late 80’s paved the way for Fox News and hate-and-fear-mongering radio propagandists. That is the root cause of the polarization we see today.

        The second worst thing that ever happened to America is the erosion of campaign finance laws. This includes, but is not limited to, Citizens United.

      • Ducksworthy

        Slavery. Karma’s a bitch.

  • The Wanderer

    “Seeing Russians around every corner” will swiftly join “Reds under the bed” as a catchphrase for this dark period in US History.

    In fact:

    1920s: First Red Scare; Palmer Raids
    1950s: Second Red Scare; McCarthy, Alger Hiss, the Rosenbergs
    1980s: “Evil Empire,” Red Dawn
    2010s: Russian influence, kompromat

    • Villago Delenda Est

      One of the best things about Red Dawn was the line “because we live here!” which the Iraqis could use with straight faces some 20 years later.

      • Bigby

        You would (not) be surprised how many wingnuts look at you like you’re some insane traitor because you suggest Other People™, e.g. Iraqis, would fight interlopers in their country. It’s like their brain breaks. “Wuuuut? But we’re Merkinz! They should just surrender immediately and let us take them over forever!”. Yeah, like YOU’D do that if we were ever invaded by the Chinese, or the Russ…oh, never mind.

        • Ducksworthy

          “Give us all your stuff!” Worked on the Indians didn’t it?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    MSNBC reporter makes salient point: Someone in the White House is not telling the truth.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Bigby

      Is that…Adam Schiff? I mean, without checking Wikipedia…what *was* Schiff doing in 1995 while Billy Madison was filming??? Whatever it was, it had to be better than Nunes’ running over his neighbors in his Bitchin’ Camaro cuz his dad was the mayor.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    From that photo, who would’ve predicted he’d grow up to be a gigantic asshole?

  • NotALiar

    Lolol that shit website has Victor Davis Hanson writing for them. You can’t go much lower.

    • Marion in Savannah

      You beat me to it.

      • NotALiar

        Lol it’s a bit of a deep dive. We are
        old school wingnut connoisseurs.

    • TundraGrifter

      He fills the gaping void left when the crackpot Thomas Sowell retired.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Wait. Sowell retired? Nobody tells me nothin’!

        • TundraGrifter

          At least from writing his stupid weakly column.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      If the last year has taught us anything, it is that they can always go lower.

  • TJ Barke

    Republicans are traitors.

  • TJ Barke

    Devin better fucking go down for obstruction of justice.

    • HazooToo

      I go back and forth between “They are all going to die in prison” and “HA! They’re going to be thanked for their service!”

  • Blackest Noobs

    “i would never want to see you standing in the line of fire
    you’re the one who has to come to grips with your own desires”

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie

    Among the many things I will never forgive Trump for, one of the most significant is the fact that he brought this sack of shit Nunes to national prominence.

    • Fatalysk Barnes

      Hey Nunes won his district in spite of 3 million illegal immigrant’s votes! That’s impressive!

  • Jenny
  • Mr. Blobfish

    That guy is such a Hitler.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    I’d feel embarrassed for him, except, y’know, Devin Nunes.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    This blatant subversion of the committee’s investigation is totally actionable by the Speaker, right?

    • chicken thief

      Paul “Nutless” Ryan would never risk the ire of mah main man Louie Gohmert and the Freedum Caucus!!!

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        A battle of twits

  • cmd resistor
    • Bad Tom

      Third Kitten was the surprise.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh my that is hilariously cute

    • CripesAmighty

      Group yawn!

  • John McLaughlin

    Russian oligarchs invested in Trump’s golf courses (per Eric Trump). I wonder if Russian oligarchs invested in any of Devin’s businesses?

    • Bad Tom

      Actually, I think they did. Doesn’t Devin own a winery with Russian investment?

      • John McLaughlin

        If that is indeed true, I wouldn’t be shocked but it would be important for the public to know. Devin can’t be that stupid, could he?

      • SDGeoff3

        He owns a winery that once sold twenty-some cases to a Russian distributor. That transaction is mo longer listed on the website, from what I found at Snopes.com.

      • YaJagoff

        Devin IS a whinery.

  • Bad Tom

    Fo $8K, Nunes could get hisself a clustered DEDICATED SERVER, with ya know, SSD disks, 8 GB RAMs, some CORES ‘n NEAT SHIT.

    Crashed yesterday. ‘Cause Nunes is very, very DUMB, and couldn’t size a news server to save his life.

    Gonna need more than $8k to provision that.

    LOL The site is still down! It redirects to Facebook! They been attacked! By traffic!

    Nunes is VERY, VERY Dumb.
    ——-
    Facebook, whatever its other faults, can size data farms. They spent WAY more than $8K; more like $80B. Nunes can’t rip his campaign off for that kinda dough.

    • Ling Ling

      $8K on AWS would have been very mighty.

      • Bad Tom

        For a time.

        We (CENSTRA) have an AWS instance. You can provision a handful of PC class and somewhat larger systems for $100/month. (A handful = 4)

        But even scaling up our modest system to do AI training more rapidly quickly escalates the cost. My proposed training array, which is all PC class, is estimated to be $1K+/month. (We expect this to not be a problem in the very near future.)

        If you provision datacenter scale servers, with networking able to deal with a major website, with all the things you need, $8K will evaporate with shocking rapidity.

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    “It’s disappointing to see a member of Congress, especially one who chairs an important committee,
    spread misinformation to his constituents, who he knows will just eat it up.” Let’s see Nunes print this bit of real nunes, not the fake nunes.

  • Bright Bart

    nice mullet…DEVIN.

  • John McLaughlin

    Trump uses people like Devin. DJT’s charms work on people like Devin.

  • TootsStansbury

    You know what’s awful? I just had a passing thought of “This world would be a much better place if these assholes weren’t in It”. That’s a terrible sentiment.

    • yyyaz

      Their existence doesn’t bother me nearly as much as having an electorate so out of touch with reality that they get elected to national offices. And re-elected.

      • TootsStansbury

        Thanks. I’m actually uncomfortable having thoughts like that.

      • Ling Ling

        Been to Visalia?

        • Fatalysk Barnes

          The” Gateway to Fresno?”

        • david spikes

          Visalia’s a handsome town-pity about the people.

    • proudgrampa

      No, it’s not. I think it’s a BOOTIFUL sentiment.

  • Me not sure
  • Spurning Beer

    I think it’s telling that DEVIN NUNES is an anagram for STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE TRAITOR SCUMBAG.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Once he launches the Devinictionary, this story will check out.

  • YouInDangerGirl!

    A disgusting new low in the Republican’s continued assault upon democratic principles of good governance. Dems lower themselves to even engage with this outlet. We may not be able to stop the President’s itchy thumbs, but no way can we let this little House fuckwad build a personal propaganda machine.

  • MAZS

    Joe McCarthy is rolling over in his grave, embarrassed that Nunes is his pitiful legacy.

  • Marceline

    Why hasn’t Mueller cut this weasel off at the knees?

    • BadKitty904

      I’d love to hear the answer to that question.

      • OTB

        Give em enough rope?

        • BadKitty904

          They’ve already got plenty.

  • BadKitty904

    Pravda Lite” or “Devin Newsless”…

  • LesBontemps

    Just what the Interwebz needs, MOAR DUMBASSERY. If the ‘net ever becomes self-aware, it will die of embarrassment.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Victor Davis Hanson AND Kimberley Strassel? Jesus, Devin!

    When Charles Koch started his project to buy up the country and destroy democracy back in the 1970s (he regards democracy as mean, bad, and no fair to fossil fuel heirs), he was mostly focused on buying up every Republican politician in America (Mission Accomplished) and on flooding the country with deranged, destabilizing propaganda from think tanks like Cato and Heritage (This Mission, Too, Accomplished).

    Perhaps he didn’t anticipate the corollary industry in ideological grift that he would spawn by dangling his tens of billions of inherited dollars out there in pursuit of a reactionary coup d’etat, but man, oh, boy, did the grifters ever smell that gorgeous sweet musky cash and ooze out from under every rock in Creation.

    From the likes of John Lott, Stephen Moore, Frank Luntz, and the late, unlamented Andrew Breitbart, to Party Intellectuals (snicker! snort!) like Jonah Goldberg, Ramesh Ponnuru, Laura Ingraham, and, of course, Victor Davis Hanson and Kimberley Strassel, ever since the rise of Reagan the poor old country has fairly teemed with reactionary grifters spewing out whatever words they think Charles Koch and the boys want to hear, in exchange for fine cash money. Lots and lots of it.

    • chicken thief

      You gotta admit, from a business standpoint their investment in Republicans paid off. They don’t even have to try any more – the Freedom Caucus just naturally has their back.

  • I can’t wait for Devin to join the ever growing crowd under the Trumpenbus.

  • Justin Thyme

    There’s a metaphor here somewhere.
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-43035474

    • willi0000000

      was it uday ot qusay?

      • Justin Thyme

        dunno. we’ll have to check the scat for level of slime.

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      Smile you SOB, lion party.

  • Fatalysk Barnes

    A real, actual San Joaquin Valley Portagee joke (adapted):
    Devin Nunes and Trump are at the irrigation canal on a steamy Friday night. The smell of silage is thick in the air. They’re making out, pounding 40s, passing memos….Trump looks into Nunes’ dead, bovine eyes and whispers….”Kiss me where it stinks “. Nunes says, “Uh, ok” and drives them to the Spreckles sugar beet processing plant in Manteca.

    • Resistor Radio
    • Erala Contratista

      Mmmmmmmm. Fer sure.

    • proudgrampa

      Manteca. That’s “lard” in espanol.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      What do you get when you put Devin Nunes, Donald Trump, and Dolly Parton in a big paper bag and shake it up real good?

      Two big boobs and a hell of a country singer.

    • pluky

      Ugh! Thanks for the memories of when my dad was stationed at Ft Ord, and the days we were downwind of the sugar beet plant.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Ahh the Central Valley air! Too bad you can’t just bottle it up and take it home with you!
      #Cowschwitz

  • SayItWithWookies

    Woe unto humanity when a California Republican, backed into a corner and not having the ability to change and do the right thing, realizes “Hey, there’s no law against just making shit up.”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I just want to remind everyone that this guy was elected by the same central valley voters who complain about the fish taking all their water.

  • Victor David Hanson? The fucker who’s obsessed with Sparta and is convinced that a Messican stole his chainsaw?

  • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

    what is a CarePublican?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I thought it said CarePelican, and was getting excited about this new squadron of medical birds.

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      An inn owner with a liquor license who volunteers at a homeless shelter?

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      I think the S is silent, and invisible?

      “SCAREpublican”

  • WiscoJoe

    Carepublicans. Is that like compassionate conservatives? Or Republicans that support Obamacare? Someone get Frank Luntz on the phone. Nunes may have just stumbled upon the great rebranding #2,679.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Business in the front, party in the back.

    It looks like Devin’s incorporated the mullet mentality throughout his entire professional life.

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie
    • Lord Jim

      Are we fucking living in Wonderland?! I totally get partisanship, I really do. I am totally in the tank for Demonrats (until they start getting all mistey-eyed for White People’s Problems). But these motherfuckers are divorced from reality. And it’s like reality put out an EPO on them and hired the Sons of Anarchy to scare them off.

    • chimpevil

      If you define a hero as a fat lying prick with a punchable face, then Dev is definitely a hero

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        You left out Putin puppet.

    • thixotropic jerk

      OMG that’s just what I was thinking so dreamy and all he needs is a cape!

    • phoenix00

      “I swallowed a chickenbone and it’s stuck right between my intestines and my rectum and it’s not going anywhere quick”

  • Uncle Zor

    You have got to be fucking kidding. That Twitter feed is so awful, it has to be a parody account. No one could be that stupid and terrible in earnest … could they?

    • ScottGoode

      To which the GOP replies “hold my beer”.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Allow me to take you on a guided tour of Bakersfield, or “West Oklahoma”

      Keep your arms inside the pickup and all times

  • Crip Dyke

    CAR? Bear?

    I liked their first hook up better:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMR5JVo21wQ

  • chicken thief

    Eric brings back Trump Magazine and Devin starts his own media company – coincidence or the best cross selling opportunity ever in the history of ever?!!!

  • Zyxomma

    I come to Wonkette for not fake news, and snark, and dick jokes. Oh, and recipes I can veganize.

    • Paul

      How do you “veganize” a recipe? Dice vegans into tiny chunks and toss in the pot with all the other ingredients?

  • OTB

    He’s not even pretending not to be a Russian asset at this point. But did he ever?

  • TheoLib

    Help! From one of the tweets, Victor Davis Hanson (ugh!) says “… the man (Mueller) with the microscope is now under a microscope of his own.” My mind’s gone into an infinite loop like the opposing mirrors in barber shops.

    • Stable Uniomist Raan

      It’s Muellers all the way down.

      • AJ Milne

        It’s like that scene in Being John Malkovich in which he steps inside his own head… Muellers everywhere.

        (Yes, Donnie. Also just like in the persistent nightmare that keeps waking you for your increasingly incoherent 3 am twittering.)

        • chimpevil

          Little Donnie Russian pee

    • Fatalysk Barnes

      Sounds like some crazy Russian doll situation.

    • 3FingerPete

      To be fair Hanson was probably high when he wrote that.

  • Aileen

    I admit I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about the origins of Devin Nunes, but it makes complete sense he represents a district in the Central Valley. I drove through there last summer. It was about 120 degrees out and every few miles there was a sign or billboard blaming Obama or Pelosi for the drought. Classic “the government isn’t helping me enough and also I’m super racist but at the same time pissed off I can’t find enough farm workers” midwest conservative entitlement. By the time I made it to San Francisco, I was actually looking forward to their douchey tech bro culture.

    • Fatalysk Barnes

      That’s the valley alright.

    • Jet Maier

      The only way it could be worse than Fresno is if he represented Lodi, Weed or Buttonwillow. It’s the I-5 Cowpie Belt.

      • Aileen

        Weed, never fails to get a, “heh, heh, heh, they named their city WEED” out of me as I barrel up I5 as fast as possible.

  • ryp

    The California Republican’s tweets seem to get about 4 likes and 3 retweets max, I really wouldn’t give them anymore attention.

    • jenny_whyme

      The Maine GOP had fake news website… it would be nice if we could just ignore them.

  • 3FingerPete

    This sort of thing would result in stripping Nunes of his chairmanship if he were a member of an adult political party.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    This is what happens when you let Macedonian teenagers design your website- should have hired the four hundred pound hacker sitting on his bed.

    BTW, sure would be funny if everyone with a FacePlace account reported the CAR facebook page as a scam…

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Great idea thanks.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    FuKKKs Noose?

  • Rooster Cogburn105

    Make cow tipping great again

  • John McLaughlin

    Devin was and is a handsome devil. BTW, is there any information about Russian influences on Big D?

  • Querolous

    Is that a dickie?

  • Mintie

    Can I personally request that Wonkette stop posting politicians’ painful teenage school pics? Because we’ve all been there, and let’s face it, the fewer things the rest of us can identify with only helps us to feel–

    Wait, you thought I was going to make some kind of appeal to our better natures through maintaining discourse by avoiding ad hominem attacks? Pfft. Fuck that. Nunes is a tool.

  • Delu

    A Devin Nunes news site by Trumpians for Trumpians.

    We all already know what it will contain.

    • Sakonyachen

      Pee hookers? Asking for a friend…

    • phoenix00

      Recycled Fox News?

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