SHARE

Good morning and good weekend, Wonkers! It is time for the top ten post, where we count down the top ten posts of the week, ask you for money to keep this place going, and show you Wonkette toddler pictures. So we will do all those things RIGHT NOW!

REMINDER: Reno! We are coming to see you Sunday afternoon! We are buying you spicy meatballs or something! You will be there!

So anyway … let’s ask you for money! You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our modest but livable salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE, especially now that it’s 2018 and we have a chance to TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK! Or at least Congress! So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able — DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT — then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 361, Polson MT 59860 (new P.O box address! Update your address book!). Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

For instance, you could BUY ALL THE HATS! One says “IMPEACH!” (See below.) The others say “HELL. NO.” AND “LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE 2020.” Click here for more info!

There are many other products in Ye Olde Wonkette Generale Store! You should buy them!

Look, it’s the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. That’s It? Really? Really, Devin Nunes? For Real? Y’all, we kinda died of NON-ORGASMS when that stupid memo came out.

2. Finally! A Dorito For Me, A Woman. Seriously, thank God.

3. David Brooks’s Abortion Column Should Have Been Aborted. But alas, ’twas not.

4. Oh Nothing, Just The DOJ *ADMITTING* Hillary Clinton ‘Uranium One’ Scandal Is COOKED-UP BULLSHIT FROM A LIAR WHO LIES. There really is no rock bottom when it comes to made-up GOP conspiracy theories.

5. Here Are The Top Bullshits In Devin Nunes’s Memo SO FAR. Our first follow-up piece on THE MEMO, where we found more bullshits!

6. Dude Who Killed Bin Laden Tells Cadet Bone Spurs To Shove Dumb Military Parade Up His Ass. YA BURNT, Donald Trump!

7. Badass Gay Figure Skater ‘Bout To Land Perfect Triple Axel UP MIKE PENCE’S ASS. YA BURNT, Mike Pence!

8. Deleted Emails: Guess We’re All Mormons Now. It’s true, we are.

9. Russia Did It, Y’all. And Nobody Fucking Cares. At least not anybody currently in power to do anything about how Russians DEFINITELY PENETRATED VOTING SYSTEMS.

10. Washington Post Preemptively Kneecaps Devin Nunes’s Next Memo In The Dick. Sorry Devin! Just kidding, NOT SORRY, you idiot!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

You are very good, here are more pictures of the toddler on her WORLD TOUR:

OK bye.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries and servers are fully paid for by YOU! Please pay our salaries.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Gayer Than Thou
    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      heh royalcat

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I can haz hereditary title?

      • The Wanderer

        Fine. I proclaim thee Hereditary Go Fish Champion of the Holy Roman Empire.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Not far enough back, next time go with City of Tenochtitlan

          • The Wanderer

            Official Hereditary Guardian of the Akkadian Armoire of Atrocities? No, wait; that’s one of mine.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Nice alliteration

          • The Wanderer

            (bows, drops voice to a whisper) I recommend the heart-cutter; it’s sharp enough by now to cut the night out of the day.

        • Red Richmond

          The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire.

          /history pedant

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Yeah, but their canned clam casserole was to die for.

          • Red Richmond

            Monstrous!

  • freakishlypersistent

    I love DR, she’s so cool and well rounded, it’s all that travelling and being on teevee when tiny. She’s gonna be fierce!

  • freakishlypersistent

    That last pic..ghaaaa! Grab the babby, it looks like Kaa, the blue python is behind her!

    • shivaskeeper

      Kaa was one of the heroes. He’s the one that busted Mowgli out of the monkey city. Baloo and Bagheera would have had no chance without Kaa. Rock python libelz.

  • Resistor Radio

    Hey, so if Russia penetrated our voting systems, it’s safe to say that Russia moved on us like a bitch and definitely got there. Did not pass Go, did not collect $200, did not take us furniture shopping.

    • Gayer Than Thou
      • Me not sure

        Is worker’s palace!

        • RickyG

          Yes! Now we shop at GUM!

          • Me not sure

            Meet me at fountain. We have tea.

          • RickyG

            Out of vouchers. You treat, yes?

          • The Wanderer

            Chasku chaya? P’zhalst!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Needz moar different patterns.

      • Resistor Radio

        Huh, just think of how many dresses Sarah Huckabee could make?

      • Ellie

        It’s a little busy…OTOH, when I look around at my Apartment Beige, it’s nice to see a little color on walls and floor.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          In truth, there were lots of pictures of Soviet furniture that looked fabulous in a mid-century way.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        If that decor was golden, Trump would love it.

      • SpideySenser

        Well, I do like Oriental rugs, but nothing about the furniture says cozy & comfy; it looks awkward and uncomfortable. And the positioning is bad.

      • SpideySenser

        P.S. – Tear down the wallpaper, Alice, we’re moving!

  • Nounverb911
    • Nounverb911
      • Oh, the sacrifices he is making for his country! And his wallet.

      • Daniel

        Re: Porter? As in Macbeth? Sometimes it’s nice when life imitates art.

        • PubOption

          But when will Donnie’s goose be cooked?

      • Rags

        Maggie, it’s fucking pouring down rain in DC today. That’s why he’s not golfing! Sheesh.

      • Querolous

        He won’t be cheering on the Russian Olympic team: they don’t have one.

    • NerdWithNoName

      This is from the guy who went on and on about Obama’s country of origin and Ted Cruz’s dad killing Kennedy.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Or the Central Park 5, whose lives were, you know, probably “shattered and destroyed.”

        • IMPOed

          “Due Process” indeed….

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Something borrowed, something blue

    • freakishlypersistent

      Why is “Due Process” capitalized, sigh..he must have just heard it on FUX.

      • wavicles

        All this time he thought people were taling about his Executive Times where he spends hours on his doo process.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Bill Maher cracked the code on Executive Time. He’s up five or six hours before he goes to the office to start his “work” day. What’s he doing all that time? His hair.

    • The Wanderer

      “The implication is mightier than the affidavit.”
      — Keith Laumer, Retief of the CDT

      • Very Stable Bozi

        I need to re-read the Retief books. He was sci fi’s James Bond.

        • The Wanderer

          (Expression 63-g, Pleasure at Reader’s Grasp of Cultural Reference).

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I like that conservatives who scream about freeze peach now want to limit our speech until a jury verdict is in.

      Hiiiilarious.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      So, let me try and put this in terms you might possibly comprehend. You know how, in those old Westerns, the mob would show up at the jail to lynch the accused murderer and the sheriff would stare them down and explain that there would be a trial?

      Now, pretend that the mob comes and there is no sheriff. And the prisoner is eating a catered lunch. Actually the prisoner is in the general store shopping for cravats. And this happens 5 times. Or 500 times. Or 5000 times. What do you expect the mob to do?

    • Daniel

      Ask Bill O’Reilly, and his decade of lucrative work following the first allegations against him. Or Roger Ailes. Or Harvey Weinstein. Or Woody Allen. Or that Republican casino guy. No, the one who ran them successfully.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      These fucks have a nasty habit of leaving off important parts of shit – “innocent until proven guilty in a court of law” morons

    • Daniel

      [Cough] You accused Ted Cruz’s dad of being involved in the Kennedy assassination. [Cough]

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The “Wilding” kids. Who DNA tests exonerated, but you still wanted to put them to death without benefit of any due process at all.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh, that pushup photo! Donna Rose is HARDCORE!

    • Resistor Radio

      I hope she isn’t always talking about Cross Fit now.

      • proudgrampa

        We won’t be able to keep up…

      • Ωbjectifier

        The first rule of CrossFit:

        Always talk about CrossFit.

  • NerdWithNoName

    The first Photo looks like a last minute scramble to get on the ark.

  • The Wanderer

    (Posted a few minutes ago on another website, which questioned whether it was right to mock Trump’s hair and overall appearance. Just thought I’d share it.)

    I’m sorry, but laughter and ridicule are the best defense against this human spirochete up to the day he leaves or is forcibly ejected from office, and after that happy day until the day he finally shuffles off this mortal coil. His appearance seems to be the only thing he cares about, so relentless mockery is where you jab him, hard and repeatedly.

    Do I hate Trump? No. In my opinion hatred, like love, requires a high level of emotional investment. Trump’s not worth that; in my opinion, he’s a worthless parvenu with more money than taste and lower than the dust beneath my work shoes.

    I do hate the Miami Dolphins, though.

    • RickyG

      Hootie Libel!

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Trump constantly mocks other people’s looks and body-shames women, so he’s forfeited his right to any courtesy in that respect. And as you said, he’s a vain motherfucker so hit him where it will hurt the most.

      • SpideySenser

        I have been called out for picking on his appearance, which is an absolute no-no in my world; Agent Orange being my one and only exception. People can’t help what they look like but those that dish must also receive.

  • Nounverb911
  • Arse Grammatica

    Go hawks!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Wonkette Toddler is such a little PERSON now!

    • Covfefe

      Uh-ah. Donna Rose is BIG!

  • IMPOed
  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    OT: I just ran across a review of Fifty shades free. They literally named the villain “Jack Hyde” because we were not completely sure that our education system was a total disaster, quite yet

    • Wonky “TurnipShepherd” McGoo

      “snidely whiplash” was too subtle.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        And someone had already used Simon Legree.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        THIS

  • Mr. Blobfish

    President Grandpa steps in poop again, tracks it all over the White House.

  • Cletus Safari

    Cheating, in all its forms, is now the only way the Republican Party can win presidential elections, and a majority of House and Senate seats, and enough state and local elections to remain relevant on those levels.

    The Rethuglicans know this.

    Their White Trash base, most of whom are neither poor nor rural, know this.

    The McDucks, who perhaps still own the party–if Putin has not stolen it from them by now–and who are still the greatest domestic beneficiaries of GOP policy, know this.

    Our de facto ruler, Vladimir Putin, knows this.

    The Rethugs, the McDucks, and the White Trash are all quite willing to sell this country–which they claim, loudly and constantly, to love more than the rest of us–to Tsar Vladimir and Mommie Dearest Russia to maintain their tangible advantages.

    Also, they lust to maintain their intangible sense of superiority, the latter of which has precious little objective evidence for its existence. The White Trash’s sense of superiority is a massive monument to the Dunning-Kruger Effect.

    So, of course, all of these evil forces are going to fight electoral reform tooth and nail.

    The Rethugs can only rule as a minority party, because:

    (1) The McDucks don’t want actual majority rule, due to the strong possibility that the actual majority would vote for a massive downward redistribution of the McDucks’ ill-gotten wealth.

    (2) The White Trash don’t want actual majority rule, because they are a minority, and will become even more of one as time passes, due not only to the growth of the non-white citizenry, but also due to white “race traitors” like me, who know that race is a purely cultural construct, and don’t believe in the myth of biological race.

    https://i.imgur.com/RbsMDfy.jpg

    • Impatient

      △△△ THIS! EXACTLY THIS!! (Thank you.)

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    Women don’t need no stinkin’ lady Doritos*

    *With all the bullshit that the GOP is trying to deny or force on us, this only serves to foster the idea that we can’t play with the big boys. Fuck you, Doritos for your stereotyping.

    • SpideySenser
    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      I heard a morning radio host (of all people) make a good point about that. He said he would buy Doritos that had less dust on them because he ends up wiping his fingers on his pants (ew) a lot, so why make it a gendered thing? Just sell low-dust Doritos for everyone.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        As I said elsewhere, quiet, low-dust Doritos could have been called “Office Doritos” and they’d fly off the shelves.

      • Jamoche

        Back in the 80s when I was teaching karate, one of the sparring gear companies came out with pink versions. Aside from one 12-year old girl, the only people to get them were adult men, because when a man walks down the street in that, people know he’s not afraid of anything.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    One page, bullet points, some nice pictures, and remember to say something flattering about Trump in every paragraph. Get it right, Dems!

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/962330457886076928

    • freakishlypersistent

      So NOW you care about National Security? Fucking fuck right the fuck off.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        La nation, c’est moi.

    • Daniel

      It was ten pages long. This, for Trump, is “very long”.

      • Ellie

        But..Two Corinthians is much longer than that…

    • msanthropesmr

      What a fucking imbecile.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Stephen, give the phone back to Donald. That’s a good little Junior Authoritarian.

    • Ellie

      Like Cadet BS would use the word “whereupon.”

    • SayItWithWookies

      Anyone wanna bet Assmouth doesn’t have the slightest idea what “sources and methods” means, but saw ten whole pages and decided it was the go-to excuse not to release the thing?

    • puredog

      Man, he’s just on a fucking roll today, isn’t he? Jeebus.

  • IMPOed
    • The Wanderer

      So, ano dentata?

      • Daniel

        That’s the title of that alternative history novel about when the world was taken over by The Osmonds.

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        Pick up your Internet st the front desk.

      • IMPOed

        Si……. :>D

  • Impatient

    Saturday morning, and kitteh rests
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/72ffe8239c6c23d1e5355427cc3e593d59adca30be27bd6a051269c3610d982d.jpg
    after calming humans over Friday news.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    President Extra Crispy needs a campaign rally to cheer him up. Or maybe a cabinet meeting where they can go around the table and say how great Trump is.

  • proudgrampa

    The babby pushup is cute!

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie
    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Duh. Perkins has already been caught protecting one shit heel.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Men’s lives are being metaphorically shattered, just because they shatter some women’s faces occasionally!

    • shivaskeeper

      They have been this for decades. They are just more open about it now. Naked power is all they care about. If the pedo’s and molesters can get them more unearned, undeserved power, they will support pedo’s, and molesters, and wife beaters,and anyone else.

      That is the only disagreement I have with Joy. This is not a new thing. They have their place on the moral high ground because they said they should be there while not once proving it, and no one questioned it hard enough.

      • Rags

        They are and always have been authoritarians first and foremost.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Donald has emboldened them to let their freak flags fly openly and proudly.

        • shivaskeeper

          I disagree. They have been flying those flags openly for a long time.

          Every bathroom bill has been them. Every time a bill comes up at any level that strips someone’s rights away it’s them. Every time a school board has to edit text books because they are insufficiently pro white, or pro god, or just not full of enough comforting lies, it’s them. Every shop that wants to pick and choose and turn away it’s customers because of innate characteristics is them. Every time someone sues because they feel their right to discriminate according to their version of the holy word trumps everyone else’s rights, it’s them. And on and on and on.

          The only thing he has done is raise their public profile a bit by inviting the griftiest of the grifters into the White House.

          Once again he is a symptom, not the disease.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            By inviting them to the WH, he’s endorsing their views. He’s making it acceptable to be public.

            I agree he is a symptom, but we’ll have to disagree about the extent to which outright Nazis have made themselves more public than before. Or at least they’re getting attention from the “normalizers” of the MSM.

          • shivaskeeper

            My comment was strictly about the religious right. The Moral Majority that is neither of those things. The ones who have been coasting on unearned and undeserved deference for decades. They are the ones who have been getting away with pretending their actual mainstream views are the fringe within their sect. Supporting the molesters, wife beaters, rapists, and pedos has been what they always do, as long as they go to the same church. They just used to be less open about it outside the church.

            While there is some overlap with the Nazis, they are not the same thing. Not yet anyway. In another decade or so if they stay on their present course, they will be the same.

  • Very Stable Bozi
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      They must have a macro for that chyron by now.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Actually, its just been up so often that its burned into TV screens everywhere.,

  • shivaskeeper
  • memzilla Ω
    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘There will be no cover up.’

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I knew he was bald on top, but it was interesting to see that he is also bald on the back of his head.

    • rg9rts

      fly merkin fly

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Make merkins great again.

        • rg9rts

          Did you know they mate with tribles?

          • Ruth

            Gℴℴgle paying now $97 per/hr to do easy tasks on the internet .. Labor Some few time and stay more time with your relatives … Any one can apply this online offer!!!last Thursday I bought a latest McLaren F3 just after earnin $7934 past five weeks .it’s actually my favourite-job but you may not forgive yourself if you don’t test this.!bx881h:∫∫∫∫ http://GoogleHubMomsWorkFromHome/make/99$/per-hr ♥♥♥e♥s♥♥♥f♥♥t♥f♥♥♥b♥♥♥r♥♥♥l♥♥♥m♥♥♥w♥♥♥q♥g♥a♥c♥♥p♥♥♥h♥♥w♥j♥♥e♥♥♥w♥o♥y♥♥♥c♥♥♥y♥l::::::::!je551l:zsfeji

    • Linda

      Google pays me 99 US dollars per hour to complete some internet services on the internet .. Labor Some few hours & live happy greater time with your circle of relatives … Any person can also apply this best career!!!this Thursday I bought a gorgeous Car just after earnin $7919 this last five weeks .it’s certainly the extraordinary approach but you can now not forgive yourself if you don’t look this.!qh492j:=> http://GoogleSolutionHomeBasedJob/make/$98/perhour ♥x♥♥♥r♥d♥♥♥d♥♥♥q♥♥♥h♥♥q♥s♥f♥♥a♥i♥♥t♥d♥♥z♥♥♥b♥♥♥z♥♥♥c♥♥♥i♥♥q♥c♥♥♥q♥d♥a♥♥n♥♥♥k:::::!wg763j:wkyuk

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    He’s still at it, defending abusers on Twitter because no “Due Process”.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Tell it to the judge who issued the restraining order, Donald.

      • shivaskeeper

        He’s probably talking about the other one. The not Porter one. Also, too laying the groundwork for his own abuse cover story.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Re the toddler push-up: Donna Rose might get an athletic scholarship to college!

  • IMPOed
    • The Wanderer

      About as useful as teats on a boar hog.

  • Blackest Noobs

    and there was another one….when will Hopey Hicks finally fess up???

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5365169/Woman-living-Hope-Hicks-lover-Rob-Porter-abused.html

    • Ellie

      It’s the Daily Fail, but I’m inclined to believe it anyway.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      At the time he began dating Hope Hicks he was living with a 34-year-old government employee, a willowy blonde

      And as usual, even when the Daily Fail is doing what might be considered ‘serious journalism’, they revert to type and mention a woman’s appearance.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • IMPOed

      Damn Renegade!!

    • UnsaltedSinner

      You drop by David Letterman, and suddenly…

    • SpideySenser

      As a fan of well groomed facial hair, I immensely approve. Dude is so HOT!

    • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

      Please tell me this is fake news

    • JohnBull

      Thanks, Obama. Now we all feel that much older.

    • Ellie

      Looks like John Stewart.

    • Nockular cavity

      Is he doing a Just For Men commercial?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        lol, he’s grayer than I am and I’m a few months older. Then again, I haven’t put up with a fraction of the shit he has for the last eight years.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Finally, a World’s Most Interesting Man who is actually interesting.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      He needs to do the full on Santa beard like David Letterman.

      • Dg Hacket

        With an afro

    • Asterix

      Oh god no… I hate facial hair on men! I hope this isn’t real.

    • Tennessee Rain Genius

      That’s not his mouth

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Looks like Krugman’s mouth.

    • ooooooo sMEXY. Wood chopping in the canadian cold scenario just became a lil more real for me

    • SterWonk

      I’m a straight man.

      I’ll be in my bunk.

  • Bub, Secret Society zombie
  • Ellie

    Love the toddler pictures, and the herd of animals.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    It’s 5 o’clock in the afternoon and I’m snacking on fried pork rinds, which I thought was the unhealthiest food imaginable, but it seems like I was wrong and it’s actually not as bad as I thought. At any rate, they might be less unhealthy than potato chips.

    • Ellie

      You really can’t go wrong with pork parts, we say in my family.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        There’s a saying in France that goes “Everything’s good in the pig” (“Tout est bon dans le cochon.”)

        • janecita

          The French and the Cubans have a lot in common;-)

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I have never tried them, and as a diabetic, I know they’re a better idea for me than potato chips.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • UnsaltedSinner

      Accused men’s lives are being shattered and destroyed. Or they get elected president, or get a job in the White House. One of those.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Also, accused James Comey of improperly handling Clinton investigation and fired him; accused Andrew McCabe of being in cahoots with Hillary and he retired; fired Sally Yates on a made-up pretext because she warned him about Mike Flynn months before he was fired. It goes on and on.

      • sarafina

        And now Rachel Brand has stepped down.

    • Nockular cavity

      If you lose your job because you can’t get a security clearance because you’re a serial abuser, then that is the LEAST that should happen to you.

    • Chyron HR

      P.S. Kill the Central Park Five. KILL THOSE N*****S!!!

    • proudgrampa

      Yeah. Fuck that guy.

    • DensityDestiny

      …just… I… can’t… even….
      Jesus P., Can’t someone please explain to our President the security issues surrounding an employee who has something to hide? He clearly does not get it. Even if Porter turns out as pure as St. Bernie’s lily-white ass, the risk to national security isn’t worth it. The man has seen every classified document sent to the President for the last year.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        He is incapable of understanding anything that doesn’t start with his name, loads of praise, and a treat at the end, kind of like a yellow lab that lives in a meth house.

    • CripesAmighty

      Funny. When whining about his rich white fuck persecution complex, he can construct a sentence. Or…

    • sosuume

      cc: Hillary.

  • John Thorstensen

    When my daughter was Donna Rose’ age, she called the various creatures “aminals”.

    I so miss that age, though she turned out great and I really can’t complain.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      My tree year old always asks me what I am talking at. “Mom, what you is talking at?” I love his poor grammar and distinct issues with pronouns.

  • JohnBull

    Go to hell, Mike Pence. Not a single North Korean has been released from a gulag, has better food, or is in any way living life better because of your ill-advised and dippy protest against a united Korean team. All you did is insult your gracious hosts and embarrass the rest of us, reinforcing our Ugly American stereotype that will take longer to live down. And I’m guessing not a single other person in the stadium joined in, either, because you’re no damn leader.

    Fuck your boss, too, not with votes. With something dull, rusty, and infected.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Pointless stupidity just to be a dick- the hallmark of the Trump regime

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Hey, at least he got both North and South Korea to agree that he’s a complete dickhead.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        I suspect they were there already.

      • That’s “dotard” in Korean

    • Extra points for the Ugly American book reference.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ugly_American

      • rg9rts

        how many understood it….HEY a Paul Newman flick

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Suse

      Because Koreans are godless heathens?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        South Korea has a higher percentage of Christians than most asian countries, but they still aren’t white.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          “still aren’t white” is the working part of the sentence, here.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Even here in Slowvannah we have Baptist, Presbyterian and Methodist Korean churches.

      • Actually, (South) Korea is the most Christian country in East Asia. It’s officially banned in the North now, but before WW2, Pyongyang was known as “the Jerusalem of Asia” because of all the Protestant missionaries there

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_Korea

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Because America is #1 and American Exceptionalism. Any sign of respect for other nations is a sign of weakness to many Americans.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Blah?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        You beat me to it by 20 minutes.

        /salute

    • Blackest Noobs

      because white men are pussies.

      when push comes to shove, you’ll find a white guy hiding under the stairs.

      • IMPOed

        Stereotyping, please……

        • Blackest Noobs

          not really, not at all.

          shall i count all the white guys who are pussies?

          1) Donald Trump
          2) Mike Pence
          3) white guys who voted for Trump and think he’s doing a great job
          4) Rob Porter who likes to hit women
          5) Paul Ryan

          it goes on and on and on and on

          • IMPOed

            Oops, should have scrolled down here first. ;>)

        • Blackest Noobs

          also Mike Pence thought ok i will pour salt on the wound between NK and US and SK but having NK deflectors and that dumbshit Otto’s Dad sit with him, but too fucking chicken shit to attend a state dinner for the dignitaries cuz don’t want to have to actually talk to any of the North Koreans.

          ya know, the black guy President and his white guy VP was nowhere as much as a pussy as these fucking white conservative “tough” guys.

          • IMPOed

            I am not arguing that, just don’t stereotype me please, a fat old white fuck that pissed as hell too!

          • Blackest Noobs

            then you ought to be more pissed these guys are RUINING IT for decent white people.
            i’ve had my fill of “tough” whiteys….but the moment i clean their clocks or knock out their teeths, i see the cowards they are. but yeah sure a couple of ya are good whiteys…i, as a colored person, have not much experience with that, you know, decent white folks.

            if you wanna act tough, then prove it..talk is cheap…especially now in the age of twitter.

          • SpideySenser

            Will there be women folk at the state dinner? Cuz that’s some scarey shit right there. MOTHER!

      • therblig
      • Paul

        Please explain to us why this is not bigotry

        • Blackest Noobs

          it’s not, white guy

          • Paul

            You know what? You’re nothing but an anti social punk. I have been polite and sincere asking for an explanation that will apparently never be forthcoming.

            What sort of person purposefully insults others WITHOUT cause? An anti social punk with huge, un-addressed anger issues.

            You are capable of cogent commentary, I’ve seen it. Stick to that and not your cheap gratuitous blanket assertions. They weaken your argument and make you look foolish.

          • Blackest Noobs

            says the protesting white guy. boo.hoo.

            Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz SNORE.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Blah.

    • SpideySenser
    • Damn it, Koreas, you actin all nice is ruinin’ the GOPs lust for bomb dropping!!!!!
      NO FAIR

    • Timothy Watson

      Is Trump going to fire Pence for not standing?

      (Hahahaha, no.)

  • Impatient

    Let’s be positive. Think of the opportunity we’re providing our younger generations in the United States. If they can clean up this sewer we’re leaving them, they can prove to be the even Greaterer Generation. Always good to have a challenge?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Back when I was a kid, some guy wrote this prose-poem about handing the Earth to his children. Something along the lines of “Here, take this Earth. It is hurt, it is broken. This is our fault. We ruined this beautiful planet. Care for it. Heal it.” It got a lot of attention at the time, and I think my mom even cut it out and put it in the fridge. I remember thinking, “You fuckers aren’t dead YET. You don’t have to condescendingly pass your goddamn responsibilities on to me until I at least reach puberty.”

  • Suse

    Orange floof loves the box! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9VO7X_q9nw

    • Resistor Radio

      Lil Torr is so fun to watch!

  • Nockular cavity

    I, for one, welcome our new pre-school Wonkette overlords.

    • Cletus Safari

      Even at her current age, she would make a more mature leader than the current president*.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • TJ Barke

      He’d also like due process when he gets taken in for treason.

    • nightmoth

      straight white RICH men
      not many, but a few straight white poor men are in jail who shouldn’t be there

      • Blackest Noobs

        and asshole….don’t forget the asshole part

    • La forza del resistino

      The prez doth protest too much, methinks.

    • IMPOed
      • SpideySenser

        It’s always projections with these shitstains. And about that $500 mil, party of fiscal responsibility my ass.

        • IMPOed

          Only when Democrats are in the majority!

      • Cletus Safari

        Sooo…25 years of witch hunts have shown that witches are a myth?

        https://i.imgur.com/zd9GIev.jpg

        • IMPOed

          IK,R?

  • La forza del resistino

    Get in the Olympic spirit Mike and offer yourself up as the official hockey puck of the Games.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Might have some problems with the essay questions, but certainly has the overall demeanor of a hockey puck.

      • La forza del resistino

        He’s gonna have to get special dispensation from Mother to get slapped around on the ice by the women’s teams.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Good point.

        • Resistor Radio

          He might prefer the men’s teams, methinks.

    • The Wanderer

      Javelin catcher for the Summer Games.

      • La forza del resistino

        Mike, we need you to spearhead a USA pep rally plan at the Summer Games

        • The Wanderer

          (giggles knowingly)

      • Kateaux

        Or, sticking with the Summer Games theme, he could attend to archery targets.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRIQpLDK-wY

  • Beanz&Berryz

    DR’s decline pushup demo is cool:

    Muscle Activation. Both variations use your chest, triceps, shoulders and back muscles. However, because of the angle, the Incline Push Up works your lower chest and back more. On the other hand The Decline Push Up works the upper chest and front shoulders (delts) more than the regular or incline variation.

  • nightmoth

    According to WaPo the White House is a festering nest of vipers right now with nobody in charge and everybody turning on each other and maneuvering to get the most for themselves while they still can. I hope this means they are seeing the impeachment at the end of the tunnel.
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/very-turbulent-trump-and-white-house-consumed-with-turmoil-amid-abuse-allegations/201

  • weejee

    Hope y’all had a grand time at chateau Biff.

    Donna Rose, good with the incline push-ups, but you shouldn’t need to be able to do handstand push-ups in a reasonable America, unless you really wish to do so. The current administration and workplace harassment are not long for this world.

  • msanthropesmr

    Just fixed the dryer by cleaning out the dryer exhaust hose – Safety tip Wonkers – check that shit – there’s lots of flammable lint up in there.

    Replaced the hoses on the washer as well – preventive maintenance so you don’t come home to a flood.

    Jesus what a pain in the ass, and I cut myself on the tip of my finger on the sheet metal tubing for the dryer exhaust.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      OFF TO THE ER!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • When did you last have a tetanus shot?

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Due to genetic inheritance, he gets one about twice a year…..

        • Seems a bit overkill to me XD Thought it was like every 5 or something

          • msanthropesmr

            When you’re bleeding and in pain, you sorta forget when the last one was.

          • If you cannot remember, drop by the doc today and get one.

        • Resistor Radio

          I’ve found that clumsiness has its benefits; I never have to wonder if my tetanus is up to date. :)

    • Ωbjectifier

      Now for the nasty part, the washer drain and lint trap.

    • Resistor Radio

      “Preventive Maintenance”
      Ahhhh, you’re singing my song. Can’t tell you how many plant managers I’ve tried to convince that Preventive Maintenance is worth investing in. “But nothing’s broken yet!” they cry. “If I spend money it will come out of my bonus!”

      • Ωbjectifier

        “Maintenance is cheaper than replacement”.

        Repeat as necessary.

        • Resistor Radio

          Plant Manager: Yeah, but that’s next year’s problem, every dollar in the maintenance budget I don’t spend goes into my bonus!

          • IMPOed

            That is so wrong! Rewards dishonesty.. SMFH….

          • Resistor Radio

            Corporate America, ladies and gentlemen.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        I get that at work all the time. “We haven’t done anything to the system in 5 years why is it having so many problems now?”

        • Resistor Radio

          It makes no sense! :D

        • SisterArtemis

          “I never vacuum, why would I spend money on one. And why is the house so dusty and filled with cobwebs? STOP LAUGHING!”

      • IMPOed

        HVAC service company I worked for would get a new contract, “nothing works”, filters NEVER been changed, cooling/ heating coils plugged, belts broken, dampers broken.
        Worst case scenario, but I have seen it, and when they get the repair bid, WHAT???

    • therblig

      shit. now you’ve reminded me that it’s something i need to do. i noticed that lately, when the dryer is running, i can smell the exhaust, so some of the duct work or duct tape has come loose.

      or i could work on my bikes, now that it’s above 40.

    • Very Stable Bozi

      Check for lint build-up in the dryer also, too.

      • msanthropesmr

        I did. I dissembled the lint trap and rammed a brush up in there.

        • Very Stable Bozi

          Check the interior housing from the back if possible. You would be unpleasantly surprised how much lint escapes inside.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Hawt.

          • msanthropesmr

            Not as hot as it got before I cleaned out the lint trap.

    • Bee-Doo

      Appliance work always requires a blood sacrifice.

      • msanthropesmr

        Car work always calls for a monetary sacrifice of buying the part that wasn’t the problem.

  • wait! what?

    Has Donald blamed both sides regarding domestic abuse, yet?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      No, he blamed the public for even talking about it outside of a court room.

    • Don’t be silly, he went with bitches be lying of course

    • IMPOed

      There are “fine people on both sides”, GOOD GOD this fucking Maggot pisses me the Fuck OFF.. ARRRGGHHH!!

      • rg9rts

        November is coming…lets start whipping his ass

        • IMPOed

          The special elections are giving me hope, I have so little faith in our electorate after Dumbfuck got elected… :>/

          • rg9rts

            I don’t think the morons knew what he was…notice he lost HUGE in New York…we know the lying Coward well

          • IMPOed

            I have known of him for 30+ years, goes to show how many disillusioned voter act.. sad.

          • rg9rts

            He made his first splash showing up Koch in 86 when he rebuilt the Wollman Rink

    • Spurning Beer

      “When you look at it, there’s blame on both sides. Many sides. Sometimes they just need to shut up. They need to shut up. RIGHT?”

  • Scooby

    Wel, trump can always still claim Rob Porter is really a Mexican

    • rg9rts

      I thought that was the new Sanders spokesman stand in

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    So Trump is blaming Dems for spending money on non military things. Can he sound anymore like a 3rd world dictator?

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/961959738853548033

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/961962694650757121

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Cadet Bone Spurs cares, maaannnnn!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I used to live next door to a military contractor. He said the amount of waste in Iraq was staggering.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Isnt some of that waste due to Betsy DeVos’ brother?

    • CripesAmighty

      Huh. Wasn’t so worried about that when handing out 1.5 trillion tax giveaway to the rich.

    • Resistor Radio

      “Sorry folks, we HAVE to get rid of social security because the Democrats kept blowing up the deficit with their middle-class tax cuts.”

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        That is almost the reason Rand Paul used when he shut down the government. “Some assholes blew up the deficit so now we have to cut spending” Hatch also used it to argue against funding CHIP too and Ryan said we have to cut “entitlements” because of some assholes blowing up the deficit.Just waiting for Trump to admit that.

        • Did they mention at all that the assholes were themselves?

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            No they tried to blame Bamz and democrats for it.

        • Resistor Radio

          It’s all part of their agenda, and it’s pretty fucking transparent, but I keep hearing on the news that the stock market is falling because of deficits, without pushing too hard that this fucking rick fuckwads tax cut is to blame.

          • Stock market is falling because corps, now that they have their tax cuts, want to buy back their stock but only at rock bottom prices.

          • Resistor Radio

            I love the darker, gayer name!

            I was thinking that dude is saying that if weren’t for all the blacks and gays, Becky with the Bad Grades would be leading our figure skating team, right?

          • ROFL I think he was sayin wait a minute, we white dudes wonned the president thing, it is our turn for participation trophies!!!!!

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            But the deficit didnt magically appear last week. I hate that no one calls out this bullshit.

    • Resistor Radio

      And good morning jesterpunk! :)

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Good morning Resistor Radio :)

    • Lol did he just admit with his mouth parts that even with a super majority Republicans still cannot get shit done?

  • msanthropesmr
    • Ωbjectifier

      Don’t be slipping Cheetos into my Doritos!

      • msanthropesmr

        It’s called the “Munchies” mix.

      • wait! what?

        Oh, I get it. You grind them both up and put them in sausage casings to get chorizos.

        • msanthropesmr

          No!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          You are doing it rong.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • A known abuser works for this ardent feminist? Get outta town!

    https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/amp/news/donald-trump-women-unearthed-1994-primetime-interview-nancy-collins-938176

    See look at The Donald’s strong respect for women’s equality:

    Let’s talk about women. Your feelings toward them seem conflicted, even chauvinistic, confusing since you adore and respect your mother so much.

    I have great relationships with women, my mother, Ivana, Marla, my female executives are better than the men: tougher, smarter.

    See, libtards? He’s practically Gloria Steinem and Lauren Duca rolled into one! So I guess you social justice warriors owe Trump an apology and…oh wait he’s not done yet?

    That statement is exactly why women think you’re a chauvinist pig.

    They’re right — and not. People say, “How can you say such a thing?” but there’s a truth in it, in a modified form. Psychologists will tell you that some women want to be treated with respect, others differently. I tell friends who treat their wives magnificently, get treated like crap in return, “Be rougher and you’ll see a different relationship.’ Unfortunately, with people in general, you get more with vinegar than honey.

    Now how could an abuser possibly thrive in an environment with such a role model at the helm? 🙄

    • Resistor Radio

      “Be rougher.” Wow.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • ziggywiggy

      His Sat. morning tweet just digs in even deeper, whatta fucking asshole. Referencing Rob “the wife beater” Porter… “Peoples lives are being shattered and destroyed by a mere allegation,” Trump tweeted. “Some are true and some are false. Some are old and some are new. There is no recovery for someone falsely accused – life and career are gone. Is there no such thing any longer as Due Process?”

      • Now come on, he has a point there. I mean he might be so damaged by this that the vengeful public might up and make him president or something!

    • Red Richmond

      “Unfortunately, with people in general, you get more with vinegar than honey.”

      Huh, interesting because I’ve always found the exact opposite to be true. But then again I’m not a bigoted old sack of balding shit with 3 trophy marriages, 2 shitty malformed kids, and a Special Counsel investigating my treasonous ass, so fuck me what do I know right?

    • A few other thing to add here (to save the above post from drifting into tl:dr territory):

      1) I love the utter (but still “professionally done”) contempt the journalist has for Trump and I am caustically amused by how oblivious he is toward it

      “You’re a garbage man”

      Nods smugly: “Yes, yes, I know….”

      It’s like she’s giving Trump enough rope to hang himself with, but the addled-brain public refused tie the knots tight enough.

      2) I’m sure you’ll all be surprised to learn that Trump is a fan of the “Six o’clock dinner plan (or else! Again why would people think he encorages a community of abusive?)” that’s all the rage (see get it, because…) among political Neanderthals these days. Which makes sense because he’s wealthy enough to hire a chef to make that whole issue a Nothing-burger…with extra mayo.

      3)”The statement”, by the way, that Nancy Collins is referring to in the blockquote recalls Trump calling another female columnist an “unattractive liar.” You know right after he just got done touting his respect his “respect and adoration” for women (who gives him boners and have his sammiches made on time)

    • Red Bird on a Shithouse

      Only a white man in America can get away with that attitude.

  • Spurning Beer

    Donna Rose is doing more than toddling these days.

    • Biff52

      She gets into everything!

  • Ωbjectifier

    The Democrats sent a very political and long response memo which they knew, because of sources and methods (and more), would have to be heavily redacted, whereupon they would blame the White House for lack of transparency. Told them to re-do and send back in proper form!

    — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump)

    You really expect me to read all this shit?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9790cafb75c22150e1f1d1814933af6308d9123748fd5d46e881f952ab117326.jpg

    • rofl, Long. it was LONG ya’ll! So very long!

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        It was 10 pages with no pictures. Can you believe it didnt even compliment Trump every other line?

    • therblig

      Penthouse and KFC menus?

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Taco bowl with a side of fried chicken and slime…..

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Dear Don,

      See the White House run. Run, white house, run. See Dick abuse Jane. Run Jane run. Can you say dossier? dos ee ay. It is a big word. Tweet Don, tweet….

    • You will note that it’s NOT the Oval Office……

  • CripesAmighty

    Are Americans capable of going anywhere without exposing themselves as oatmeal-headed oafs? Morons with that idiotic ‘usa’ grunt at Luge. Shut the fuck up.

  • Justin Thyme

    The elephant in the first pic looks a little outnumbered.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Stable Uniomist Raan
    • Very Stable Bozi

      “He’s also draining Washington “of people with contempt for the people they represent.”

      He must mean the dotard’s staff.

    • CripesAmighty

      Oh, yes. Like these salt-of-the-earth “jes’ folks”.
      You may not like being a ‘deplorable’, but got news–they’ve got another word for you: sucker.

      • CripesAmighty
        • Jennaratrix

          She looks like she’s about to take that stack ‘o ones off for some alone time. Are we sure she wasn’t an adult film star in the not-too-distant past? Not that there’s anything wrong with that; she’s just got the smoldering stare of breaking the fourth wall down pretty pat.

          • Stable Uniomist Raan

            I think her expression is one of “ew, poor people money”.

          • SDGeoff3

            Honey, let’s have these perforated and put on rolls.

          • Justin Thyme

            first time she’s seen one’s.

          • Red Richmond

            Can’t blame her if she does want some quality alone time with those bills, lord knows I’d rather fuck a pile of money than Steve Mnuchin too.

            Of course she’s basically a modern Marie Antoinette but worse so having to fuck Steve Mnuchin should be the least of her just desserts.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      How in the fuck do you vote for Bamz then vote for Trump?

      • Stable Uniomist Raan

        I assume by being a purity pony.

        • Shanzgood (18 Days!)

          Vagina

          • Stable Uniomist Raan

            Also yes.

            Wait, you mean because Hillary has one, right?

          • Shanzgood (18 Days!)

            Yes, I wasn’t just trying to invoke one! ;)

      • Red Bird on a Shithouse

        I’m going to be the odd man out with this theory but I think that there are many white liberals who voted for Obama thinking he wouldn’t win. They just wanted to seem “contrarian”.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          So the same reason they voted for Jill Stein or Gary “What’s Aleppo” Johnson?

          • Red Bird on a Shithouse

            Yes. But in Obama’s case he had enough people who genuinely supported him to push him over the top. I have met people who said they voted for Obama in the primaries because they thought Obama didn’t have a chance of winning. So they thought they were helping the Republican candidate. I’m not a political expert so take everything I say with a grain of salt. But I’m willing to bet that as time passes we will see proof of that. The big irony is that Obama really was a good President and very much deserving of the office.

          • goCatgo

            I would not disagree with that. I heard people say the Dems would never nominate a Black, cause they would obviously lose the election. Then they said the country would never elect a Black cause of a whole bunch of stooopid, racist reasons.

      • goCatgo

        Maybe they lost something in the 2008 crash and recession. House, job, investments, health care, living high on the hog. So they wanna teach the GOP a “lesson” for their losses. Just a guess.

      • Maybe they live in “flyover country”, and while they liked what Obama was saying, his economic revival never got out of the urban areas to them. Then they saw that the Democrats had, from what they could see, been taken over by an “urban elite” who weren’t addressing any of their concerns? Because the Democrats stopped focusing on economic issues – the ones that are very important to them – and shifted to social issues? They got fed up with the condescending attitude of other Democrats?

        Seriously, read this and you might understand why:

        http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2018/01/11/terry-goodin-rural-democrats-indiana-216273

        “The Democratic Party is a party of elites,” Michigan state Rep. Donna Lasinski told Johnson.

        “Democratic leaders don’t understand the needs of rural voters,” former Illinois state Sen. John Sullivan said.

        “The ‘metro-centrics’ in our party don’t know the difference between
        majority and minority,” Minnesota state Rep. Gene Pelowski added. “They just play to the base. They don’t care about winning elections.”

        Wisconsin state Sen. Janet Bewley sounds practically protective of
        her rural constituents. “If anyone calls them Bubbas, they’ll have me to
        contend with,” she told Johnson, referring to Democrats who are
        “dismissive of those who listen to country music and watch NASCAR.”

        “The Democratic brand,” said Illinois state Rep. Jerry Costello Jr.,
        “is hugely damaged, and it’s going to take a while to bring it back.
        Democrats in southern Illinois have been more identified by
        bathrooms”—transgender bathrooms, that is—“than by putting people back to work.”

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Shannon Kennedy, U R an idiot

    • Nockular cavity

      Stick yer “chain migration” up yer ass & sod off back to Ireland, then!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    OT but … https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/962348831789797381
    Is he talking about Fox “News”?
    Also, what does “Crooked Hillary” have to say about this?

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Somebody tell those animals to stop talking about us.

  • Shibusa
  • puredog

    It must be a timing issue, because I refuse to believe that Beyonce dissed Editrix’s post.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Ever notice how conservatives can talk shit about any group they disapprove of, but, when members of that group talk shit back, the conservatives get all butthurt and demand a “dialogue”, and, when that “dialogue” is not forthcoming, they get even more butthurt?

    What’s up with that?

  • eyelashviper

    The resignation of Rachel Brand is concerning, as the next in line is Noel Francisco, a tRump appointee, former law clerk for Scalia, and likely to do the bidding of the Hoofwanker.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/02/ominous-law-prof-explains-dojs-latest-abrupt-resignation-spells-trouble-fbis-trump-russia-investigation/?comments=disqus

  • I wasn’t clear that the announced platform upgrade necessarily entailed a new server, but if it does, it definitely needs to be named ‘Beyoncé’.

    (Oh crap, last I checked the old standards only allow English characters, but ‘Beyonce’ seems tolerable in the case.)

  • idiotboy

    We may make it to Reno, my lovely wife is interested, the pies there are supposed to be quite good, by West Coast standards.
    What is the password?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      The password sequence is always:
      “Also too.”
      “Canned clams”
      “YOU MONSTER!”
      “Pass.”

  • So, that picture up top?

    Miss DR is clearly an ark reactor.

    I’m going to show myself out and watch some more of the worst curling coverage ever.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I tried to watch it. I couldn’t.

      • Oh, god, it’s terrible. And not just terrible people are sweeping around a rock, terrible my husband roped me into the world finals and this was pathetic by the standards of curling coverage.

        Seriously. Almost an hour of the US team, who were in something like ninth. Because they were the US team.

        At one point, the earnest narrator allowed as how the dynamic was different between the team who were husband and wife and the team who were brother and sister. I think something important broke inside me.

        I am, however, almost done with the latest afghan.

  • Zombishroom

    Wonkette toddler looks like she’s doing air guitar in the forest in the last picture.

  • I’M SO BUMMED I’M MISSING THE SPICY MEATBALL PARTY. Get meatballs on your pizza; my favorite Noble Pie combo is meatball, spinach, and ricotta. Enjoy!

  • Ruth

    Gℴℴgle paying now $97 per/hr to do easy tasks on the internet .. Labor Some few time and stay more time with your relatives … Any one can apply this online offer!!!last Thursday I bought a latest McLaren F3 just after earnin $7934 past five weeks .it’s actually my favourite-job but you may not forgive yourself if you don’t test this.!bx881h:∫∫∫∫ http://GoogleHubMomsWorkFromHome/make/99$/per-hr ♥♥♥e♥s♥♥♥f♥♥t♥f♥♥♥b♥♥♥r♥♥♥l♥♥♥m♥♥♥w♥♥♥q♥g♥a♥c♥♥p♥♥♥h♥♥w♥j♥♥e♥♥♥w♥o♥y♥♥♥c♥♥♥y♥l::::::::!je551l:zsfej

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    Why doesn’t Mike Pence just come out of the closet already & get it over with? Oh yeah, he’s Dolt 45’s insurance against impeachment, & the gayz are goin ta HELL!!!

Previous articleThe Five Most MEEEEEEOW HISS Moments In This Week’s House Intelligence Committee Hearing
Next articleGuy Who Wrote Trump’s Speeches Accused Of Putting Cigarettes Out On His Ex-Wife. Surprised?