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This is his “Oh Fiddlesticks” face.

BIG ROBERT MUELLER NEWS! It’s reported that special counsel Robert Mueller lured Attorney General Jeff Sessions into his lair for an interview last week, and we are just hoping Sessions didn’t lie too much! We also hope Mueller’s team was extry special careful to speak to Sessions VERY VERY slowly, because as we all know, fast-talkin’ people make him nervous, which causes him to either forget stuff or, you know, lie.

This is the first time a member of Trump’s cabinet has gone before Mueller. It is also the first time somebody we’re pretty sure is a target of the investigation has gone before Mueller. But most importantly, it is the first time somebody has gone before Mueller who MIGHT be able to trade family squirrel chili recipes for his freedom.

And BOY HOWDY, we bet they had a lot to talk about! For instance:

  • The times Sessions met with the Russian ambassador about lifting Russian sanctions, possibly as a quid pro quo for the Russian election interference everybody already knew had happened for the benefit of the Trump campaign. As WaPo notes, according to surveillance intercepts and public statements from former ambassador Sergey Kisylak, those conversations were “substantive.”
  • The times Sessions seems to have committed a wee spot of perjury regarding all his Russian connections.
  • What does Sessions know about Jared Kushner (another target in the investigation) and his involvement in all the Russian conspiracies?
  • What does President NO RUSSIA know?
  • Just how much obstruction of justice did Sessions help Trump commit in the firing of James Comey and with any other White House interference in the Russia investigation?
  • Seriously, Jeff Sessions led Trump’s foreign policy team. He was Carter Page’s boss! He was George Papadopoulos’s boss! He was the boss of pretty much everybody on the campaign who has come under fire/pleaded guilty to the FBI for having unprotected campaign collusion sex with the Russians.

Now look. Wonkette is WELL AWARE of all the times Sessions has very forgetfully lied to Congress, just like we know ALL ABOUT Donald Trump’s obstruction of justice and the ways Sessions has reportedly been more than willing to help. We’ve known about this stuff for a long time! So if we know all that, and we are not even a lawyer, our guess is that Mueller doesn’t really need an interview with Sessions about a lot of that stuff to make his case.

So what happened? Did Mueller trick Sessions into doing perjuries AGAIN? Did he nail him on some deep Russia shit? Did he make clear Sessions would be roasting butterbeans IN JAIL for the rest of his natural life if he didn’t flip on Trump? We are just curious!

Trump and Jeff Sessions are NOT tight anymore, and the president has been publicly shaming and bullying Sessions for MONTHS, because Sessions made the correct and lawful decision to recuse himself from the Russia investigation. But you see, Trump doesn’t want “correct and lawful,” he wants his Roy Cohn! He wants a dirty motherfucker who will cover up his dirty motherfucker crimes, and it’s just unfair that there are still a handful of people in the Republican party who love America more than they love Trump.

Apparently, Trump is SO MAD about Sessions’s little sit-down with Mueller:

LOL Donald Trump is having a bad day, everybody clap!

So that is where we are! Does this mean the investigation is almost over if Mueller is interviewing this close to the top? Meh, we kinda doubt it. But this may very well be Mueller’s prelude to the climactic day when/if he gets an interview with Trump, which will be literally full of perjury LANDMINES for the president’s very skinny 239 pound chunk body to step on.

It ain’t over ’til it’s over, y’all, but shit is definitely happening. Stay tuned!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • I don’t know why Trump is mad at him. It’s well known that Jeff has a problem with short-term memory loss, particularly when it comes to little things like treason!

  • Nounverb911
    • Zippy49

      He don’t look too happy… ;-)

      • SDGeoff3

        Good.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bob Mueller is reclaiming his goddamn time, y’all!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • La forza del resistino

      CO potshops are working on a SessionsKush sativa. It has origins in the South and leaves you with Keebler elf munchies.

      • Zippy49

        Sounds poisonous to me! Not to mention contradictory.

      • Earl Of Sammich

        I think I’ll pass on the Ku Klux Kannabis. Too many other good choices.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think irony would be resurrected if he got thrown in one of them private prisons he loves sending poor black kids to so much.

      • ChumpsForTrump

        I’m sure they would enjoy his company.

  • La forza del resistino

    I just hope Mueller’s team of yankee lawyers didn’t speak too fast to make Jeff nervous.

  • Jennaratrix

    ::pops popcorn::

  • Well, if Trump does sit down with Mueller, it should be entertaining to watch all of the Republicans who impeached Clinton over perjury charges explain why perjury is no longer a big deal.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Anything a Republican President says is the Truth… Or perjury is not a crime if a President does it.

  • CutterTeam

    Since this whole thing started, these people have operated with all the sophistication of an 8th grader trying to bullshit his way through a book report.

    • msanthropesmr

      Ethan Frome is about that is 200 pages long.

    • TJ Barke

      And the fact that 1/3 of the nation is buying it is very alarming.

      • HazooToo

        But he’s trying so hard and he stayed up way past his bedtime to finish it! No, we didn’t check, but we heard him turning pages in his bedroom for hours… ‘flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip’

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Of a book he didn’t read.

    • Ms.Moon

      Well everybody knows that Rutherford B Hayes beat Bill Tilden in a three set quarterfinal in Flushing Meadows prompting the electrical college to declare him President of the United States.

  • Nounverb911

    Will Kate McKinnon play both parts when this comes out as a Netflix series?

    • CutterTeam

      She needs to do a skit Eddie Murphy-style, just like during the Nutty Professor movies where Eddie plays all of the family members at the same dinner table. This can work!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Will there be a fart scene?

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    He listened to the Dukes of Hazzard theme song on repeat all night to help him stay strong.

    • CutterTeam

      I’m trying to determine if Sessions is Roscoe, Enos or Boss Hogg in this scenario.

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        He thinks he’s Bo or Luke, but he’s not!

        • CutterTeam

          I think Carter Page has already locked down the Enos role.

      • PubOption

        Donnie is fat and corrupt, so would be a natural for the Boss Hogg role.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Cooter..

  • Earl Of Sammich

    Was Mueller considerate enough to put a fainting couch in his office so little Jeffy didn’t fall and bump his noggin’ ?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Sessions Session succession from sad Trump Administration?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Investigator: “State your name and current government position.”

    Sessions: “I don’t recall.”

    • thepoliticalcat

      Is that Crazy Uncle Liberty in your avi?

      • Bill D. Burger

        ‘I don’t recall’! ___ Hey! Works for Sessons.

        (*And yep, it’s aluminum-foil-hat-topped-with-a-holy-cross wearin Ron. Had it many years. Long story! rotfl)

    • schmannity

      Instead of a recall election, 2018 needs to be a I don’t recall election

  • schmannity

    That place name card, Hon. Sessions, I did not know that there was an abbreviation for Honky.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      They spelled Dishonorable wrong.

    • gnomemansanisland

      It’s hard to abbreviate cracker.

    • vivian

      Hon. is the abbreviation of Honey-Bunny.

  • shivaskeeper

    Anyone have odds on how long Sessions lasts in the Admin?

    • harryr

      or in General Population a few months down the line from here …

  • Indiepalin

    I wonder if anyone has told Sessions that his testimony might be halfway believable if he would just take those marbles out of his mouth.

    • FlownΩver

      “if he would just take those marbles Klan Kocks out of his mouth.”

      Repaired under warranty. You’re welcome.

  • RickyG

    I hope Bob is squeezing lil Jeffy’s lucky charms.

    • SDGeoff3

      A nasty job, but someone needs to do it.

    • Me not sure

      “They’re Magically Duplicitous!”

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Who…does Number Two…work for?

  • Beelzebubba

    Il Douche is fuming because he doesn’t know how much Mueller knows – because that’s just how any innocent person would feel.

    • weejee

      Is he starting with that startled look when one hears the trap door spring.

      • Leslie

        Google is offereing to new employee $99/hr to complete few jobs on the computer .. Labor Some only few hours & stay greater time together with your loved ones … any individual can also avail this online service…on Saturday I bought a great new Mercedes-Benz S-class after I been earning $20400 this past six weeks .it sounds the easiest-work but you wont forgive yourself if you do not have a peek at this.!ew383a:↭↭↭ http://GoogleCashCareerSolarWorkFromHome/more/cash ♥♥♥e♥♥♥f♥♥b♥♥t♥c♥♥♥k♥g♥♥e♥♥♥y♥♥♥n♥♥d♥♥♥x♥♥♥c♥♥q♥♥♥k♥♥d♥♥t♥♥k♥♥♥a♥♥♥q♥x♥♥n♥♥♥l♥♥♥p♥♥♥q:::::!hx233j:lhuhu

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      He doesn’t know anything, period…

    • Sashineb
  • memzilla Ω

    Imagine sitting down and interviewing your boss about his committing crimes?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Crystalclear12

    Do you think Mueller is waiting for the Democrats to regain the House?

    • TJ Barke

      It’s not impossible.

    • Darrell Parfitt

      I doubt it. Mueller wanted to start trying Manafort and Gates in May, but the judge said that wasn’t enough time for the defense and pushed it to September/October.

    • schmannity

      If so, expect Mueller’s firing on the first Wednesday in November

  • weejee
    • MynameisBlarney

      That is really a brilliant bit of photoshopping.

      • cmd resistor

        At first I thought the little jug said “raisins.”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Not really. They just made the ears a little pointier.

        • MynameisBlarney

          BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!

    • leemoder

      And there’s tonight’s nightmare fuel.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s the only thing he knows how to do.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Feinstein, Schiff- We are witnessing an ongoing attack by the rooshan govt.”

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210135644

    • TJ Barke

      And collaboration by the Republican party.

      • BadKitty904

        Opps. Semi-jinx!

    • BadKitty904

      Actively aided by the Republican Party.

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    I hope the KKKeebler KKKooky Elf goes to prison before he launches a Fort Sumter attack on Parliament-Funkadelic Hill.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • HazooToo

      Exactly how cold does it get in Colorado in the winter? How many feet of snow are we talking? Asking for no reason, of course…

      • Bill D. Burger

        Pretty mild winters here in Estes Park. Average from Oct. to April are in the 40’s and often in the 60’s, teens at night. And the snows take place over that same period, but usually aren’t heavy here in the lowlands.
        Much more in the mountains, of course. And, bout 250 sunny days per year here and 50-60″ of snow over the 6 mos and it usually doesn’t last long.

        • HazooToo

          I could live with that. Are the neighbors cool?

          • arglebargle

            There’s some religious nutjobs in Utah, and trailer trash in Kansas and Nebraska, but overall it’s not too bad.

      • SisterArtemis

        Hey, Oregon has a very temperate climate west of the mountains, and all the benefits of a weed-friendly government. Just sayin’

        • HazooToo

          Tempt me, Frodo.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            All three coastal states have legal weed and nice, relatively snow-less places to live. Just have to decide if you like the wetter side with moderate temps, or the more desert-y side of the mountains where it’s very hot at summer peak and very cold midwinter. . It’s really a big buffet.

            Here in Warshington state I literally live on the side of a mountain with a 15-minute bike ride to the ocean.

          • HazooToo

            Ok, it’s quickly becoming a tie between pot-friendly liberal states with less ugly winters, and an extremely wet island filled with people who talk funny.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Ooh, that sounds heavenly, except for the part where I would be on the other side of the continent from my grandbaby.

      • Mister Thibs

        A very dry 20s, mostly. Snow is infrequent. Roads are regularly and thoroughly plowed. There are maybe two weeks of sub-zero weather annually. This is a state secret, but I’m telling you our winters are mild because I like you.

        • HazooToo

          Bless you, Mister Thibs!

      • MileHighFroggie

        Over 300 days of sunshine/year; low humidity; ridiculously expensive for a fly-over state; Heavy snow a handful of days/year and gone completely within a day or two. Come for the legal weed, stay for the sunshine.

  • BadKitty904

    Good.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • DrBigHead

    Can someone please, PLEASE post the gif where he wiggles his ears so hard he flies away?

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁
      • MynameisBlarney

        DARNYOUALLTOHECK!

        Two seconds faster than me, lol.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          As I always say when there’s a dupe post: GMTA.

      • DrBigHead

        My hero!

  • Guest Liberal
    • Dutchman

      Awww, poor Dobby!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hey, those colors didn’t run.

      • Guest Liberal

        He was on that Dixie Swastika like a b*tch..and he got there.

  • Guest Liberal
  • Bill D. Burger

    Sessions: “Hit’ feels hot in here. Duz’ it feel warm to you, Mr. Mueller?”

    https://i.imgur.com/YaRJvyS.gif

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      This is fine, y’all.

    • Me not sure

      “I swear, would it be too much to ask for someone to offer me a sweet tea?””

      • AuntyMaude

        Bless his pea-pickin’ lil ol’ heart.

        • Me not sure

          “All this here testifyin’ parches mah throat.”

    • msanthropesmr

      Please keep all your clothes on.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        You are not the boss of us!

        Pants OFF!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I’m with Team Skwerl.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Mehmeisterjr

      That guy who served coffee to the coffee boy?

      I barely remember him. Everybody says so. Sad.

    • DrBigHead

      I don’t think that there is a photo or gif of that asshole that enrages me more than that one.

      • cmd resistor

        Same here.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        He’s had it in for the disabled for a long time.

        He signed over his epileptic nephew’s estate to himself because he had a “family feud” with his late brother’s family.

        He’s also obsessed with the idea of having “good genes,” even though his whole deplorable family is rotten down to the roots. Not to mention that he, himself, is the epitome of crazy. Mental illness sufferers != destructive, type-A, “alpha” assholes.

        • laineypc

          obligatory “you know who else was obsessed with genetic purity???”

    • HazooToo

      THIS is in the White House, but an enthusiastic eagle-scream that mocked NO ONE brought down Howard Dean….

  • Guest Liberal
  • Dutchman

    So perhaps one of the WonkaLawyer types can answer a question for me.

    When the Manafort/Gates trials begin in Sept/Oct will it be public? Can we have all the juicy tidbits available to use on the campaign trail against every single fucking Republic running for any post above dog catcher? *I like dog catchers as they’re mostly kind to animal types.

    • puredog

      The trials will be public, but not televised. It is conceivable that the courtroom might be cleared for some sensitive testimony, but that should be the exception, not the rule.

      • cmd resistor

        That would be a fun trial to be the person who draws the pics of people.

        • Dutchman

          Sadly, my art skills would result in work product that’s not up to the standards of kindergartners stick figures.

      • Dutchman

        Thank you!!

    • SayItWithWookies

      It damn well better be public, or I bought a whole bunch of scalped tickets for nothing.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Timothy Watson
      • Bobathonic

        Just don’t sell Stan your soul.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      He’s looking more like Kate McKinnon every day.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        I was going to accuse you of a most heinous act of libelz but I decided to do my research first so instead I will give you a pass.

        But watch yourself, counselor.

  • BadKitty904
  • Christopher Story

    I have a feeling “I do naught recawll” isn’t a good enough defense for Mueller. I’m pretty sure Mueller has his ways of jogging a foggy memory.

    • Crystalclear12

      Mueller: You don’t recall? Here, let me play the audio.

      • Christopher Story

        While I drag out these binders of emails.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Spoiler: Seat charged with kilovotes of votage

  • Crystalclear12

    Remember the Republican code, Jeff.
    Pretend everything is fine then shove the knife in.
    I mean, it’s not like Trump is a “real” Republican anyway.

  • AuntyMaude

    Hands hurt from clapping! A discomfort which is well worth it.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Does anyone really believe trumps handlers are going to let him talk to The Inquisition?

    • SayItWithWookies

      It might give the people who draft the indictments so much work that it would delay the investigation for a week or so.

      • SisterArtemis

        Job creation! yay!

    • SisterArtemis

      I have an occasional suspicion that right as shit is about to really hit the fan in Trump’s life, he’ll suddenly be permanently unavailable in Russia somewhere. He’d probably love to be lodged in one of those gilt-covered Baroque monstrosities for the rest of his days.

      • weighmaster

        Possibly, but won’t he cease to be useful to Putin the minute he is out of the white house? I wouldn’t drink the tea in Russia, were I he.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Its chief weapon is surprise. That’s all. Just surprise.

      • vivian

        I didn’t expect that.

    • Crystalclear12

      The question is : Can they stop him?

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      I bet he’s wishin’ that they go awaaaaayy…

  • Nounverb911

    On a related note, Alex Jones claims to have the FISA memo and promises to release it.

    https://twitter.com/oliverdarcy/status/955859931273617408

    • Fartknocker

      Alex has oral rosace. What’s he doing, using his anal wipes for makeup removal?

      • puredog

        Tucks libulz!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Alex Jones has a lot of things and a relationship with reality ain’t one of them…

    • Guest Liberal
    • Proud Liberal

      You mean “the fake FISA memo” created by Nunes that he won’t share with investigators. Suuuure.

      • mappo

        Shhhhh! The “fake” part is the secret!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Copies are included in every delivery of He-Man Zinc & Niacin Anti-Chemtrail Liver Tonic and Testosterone Booster™. Get your shipment today!

    • SayItWithWookies

      You never know — it could be the first true statement that every came out of his mouth.

    • HazooToo

      Oh Lordy, I hope he really does have it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      So secret it hasn’t been written yet!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      What you waiting for fat boy?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        And here it is!
        https://www.infowars.com/exclusive-infowars-releases-secret-fisa-memo/

        Crap. It reveals that Obama was born in Kenya. And Hillary is the rightful Queen of Canada.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Fake news. Obama was born in West Kanye, and his sekrit boyfriend Trudeau was born in a Clinton Foundation pizza basement in Havanastan.

        • You should ice that burn

          That is surely not the work of one Devin Nunes, it appears to be a document related to the proper handling of FISA related data generically.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Cool! Read it!

      • Bobathonic

        He would, but it’s all smudged with bbq sauce.

    • You should ice that burn

      “I’d share this and blow the doors off the “Deep state”* and end the Meuller “witchhunt” immediately, but I don’t wanna right now..”
      *formerly known as career civil servants

      • Last Hussar

        I’m deep state? Damn, I thought I was an officer of the Crown.

    • MynameisBlarney

      The one that was unclassified and already available online?

      • Nounverb911

        Probably.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’m sure one of Scott Dworkin’s big insidery scoops will pan out eventually.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Red Bird

      Exactly.

  • Anna Rompage

    Sorry Donad, lying to congress & not being able to remember if anyone did Russian or not, and remembering emphatically telling Papsmearopolus not to pursue his contacts with Russia when your party controls the majority is one thing…

    Lying to the FBI while under oath is another…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I’m not sure if Donad is a typo or an inspiration but if it was a typo, let’s keep it as an inspiration.

      • Anna Rompage

        Donad Trimp, our dear cheeto hued, petulant man-child in chief….

        That would be his full title…

        • Mehmeisterjr

          For selfish reasons, I favor “Donad” as the default nickname because it rhymes with “gonad,” and I’m always in search of rhymes.

          Another possibility, “The Cocked-up Orange” is a dead end.

          • riledupone

            I sometimes use ‘Creature from the Orange Lagoon’.

            If the tRump let his moustache grow in what colour would it be?

    • AuntyMaude

      Papsmearopolus! I love it!

  • Proud Liberal

    I’m sure Mueller will be interviewing Christopher Wray VERY soon.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Jefferson Beauregard Stonewall “C” Sessions says what, now?

  • aureolaborealis

    OT, but speaking of despicable people, I’m in a video conference meeting with reps from a huge data-management company. Keeping a log of the times ‘leverage’ is used as a verb. We’re at about 12 after 20 minutes. Number of times it was used, correctly, as a noun? That would be zero.

    (What’s cool about making ‘leverage’ a verb, is that if you want to use it as a noun, you can just add the suffix ‘-age’ to it: ‘leveragage.’)

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That’s problematical.

      • Roadstergal

        We’ll have to right-size the meetings if we don’t leverage them properly.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Does that also include systemizing the bandwidth and architecting the synergy? What about accentuating the positive, eliminating the negative, latching onto the affirmative, and/or messing with Mr. In-Between?

          • Bobathonic

            Alright, who moved my cheese?

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            It was Donald… in the elevator.

            Oh, I thought you said “cut”…

          • DrBigHead
          • Miles Monroe

            You are so transferencing the paradigmisms!

          • eggs ackly-wright

            And leave them hermeneutics alone.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Don’t let yer low-hanging fruit get wrapped around the axle.
          And don’t go down that rabbit hole, you might find a can of worms.

      • puredog

        Problematicalness will only get you in trouble.

        • vivian

          Problematicality is no impedementia to leveragifying your immessaging constructables.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        So it would be problematicalaged?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Moving forward, if we impact it, perhaps. But will it scale?

        • aureolaborealis

          Well, we definitely need to solutionizeageate this persistent problem. Perhaps we could leverage a baseball bat.

          • riledupone

            or a fruit bat.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Ramping it up.

    • HazooToo

      How many situations where that word was used would even be beneficially resolved by using leverage versus simple communication, proper scheduling, or straightforward bargaining?

    • Red Bird

      Ugh

    • BadKitty904

      Sounds pretty cromulent to me.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁
        • BadKitty904

          Is that Count Olaf?

          • aureolaborealis

            That guy doesn’t look like he would clean up cute enough to be Count Olaf.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Tony Romo, lol…

            …doing a really bad Bob Ross impersonation.

          • BadKitty904

            ;0)

      • MynameisBlarney

        Of course it’s cromulent.

    • Timothy Watson

      How many times has “monetize” been used?

      • aureolaborealis

        Shit! I haven’t been paying attention to that. So fixated on ‘leverage’. (DING! As I typed this: “We can leverage the APIs to …”)

      • Rags

        “outside the box?”

    • MynameisBlarney

      No “paradigm shifts” or “synergy”?

      • eggs ackly-wright

        “Across the enterprise.”

      • aureolaborealis

        We’re missing those so far. Maybe that is my purpose at this meeting. BRB, shoehorning (more) terrible business jargon into terrible business meeting.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Beware of leveraging optimization going forward also too.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Instead of workharderizing, we need to worksmarterage.

    • schmannity

      Pythagoras libulz

    • aureolaborealis

      I tend to have a very bad attitude about useless meetings. I used to judge people on whether or not they loved high school. Now, as I am firmly into middle age, I judge people on whether they enjoy time-wasting meetings. Amazingly, there are people who do. And they are terrible human beings.
      Add to that, I have federal reporting I’m supposed to be working on right now, but I’m listening to dipshits spew jargon instead. Why am I still working on this federal reporting? Because a major part of it that I am now doing used to be done by other people who not longer have jobs because of federal budget cuts and ten or more years of hostility to higher ed on the part of the wingnut politicians in this state.

      • Roadstergal

        If a meeting on my calendar doesn’t have an agenda, I write to the organizer and ask for it. If it’s not forthcoming, I decline the meeting and note it.

        Life is too short for meetings with no reason and no goals.

        • FallsAngel

          Isn’t that the truth! And the pre-meeting meetings and the post-meeting meetings! I’ve attended my lifetime quota of meetings.

      • SweetDeeKat

        I am a highly trained, experienced professional. Unless I am the sole speaker, I am on my phone playing Animal Crossing Pocket Camp.

        • aureolaborealis

          I may have been shopping for chef’s knives I don’t need and making a terrible fake album cover during this meeting. And Wonketteering.

    • Last Hussar

      I like my manager, but she will insist on using the word “diarise”.

  • Guest Liberal
  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁
  • Ruhe

    I like to imagine Mueller beginning the interview with the cryptic statement “money laundering.” He then gives Sessions a few moments to recall how severe the federal penalties for that sort of thing can be. “Now Mr. Sessions, if your attention is sufficiently focused, I have just a few questions for you.”

  • Gorillionaire

    I hope that Beau winds up in one of his private for profit prisons with a room mate named Tyrone Washington.

    • Christopher Story

      Who converted to Islam and prays five times a day, while learning Spanish.

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        He talks about Black Lives Matters nonstop.

        • Yellow_Dog_Dem

          All of this!!

  • Mavenmaven

    Butterbeans?

    • Proud Liberal

      And collard greens.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It’s my all-time favorite Evan dig at Sessions.

  • BadKitty904
    • Msgr_MΩment

      If you mean the Romanovs, as in when the Queen would say, ‘our grandson, Russia’, then No.

  • Fartknocker

    Jeff, looks like that’s all the time you have. Good luck in your future endeavors.

    Dampnut
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dcfb4d543db007a137a6ae803ae12ccd6a33b8e1117f1d8e09e925193ea76c72.jpg

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “E tu, Toupée?”

      • vivian

        Et tu, pée.

      • riledupone

        Eh, TuPac?

    • JohnBull

      I only wish this happened to everyone in one of those stupid hats.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Since Jeff Sessions hasn’t been able to answer a question about the campaign, collusion, or the Comey firing without lying, this should produce a flood of sealed indictments. Hell, the Mueller folks probably just put a bunch of forms in the copy machine and are just waiting to see how many they need to make.

    • Christopher Story

      “Damnit, we ran out of toner again!”

      • vivian

        “Gonna need a bigger copier.”

  • vivian

    Jeff Sessions in one word: Impedementia™

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      His “boss” in two words: Indictmental illness.

      • vivian

        I’ll admit he’s got the right Indictmentality.

  • Jonny On Maui
  • BadKitty904
  • JohnBull

    Trump was fuming? Is he ever happy? Does this guy ever smile, besides when he’s whacking off to a picture of himself?

    • cmd resistor

      He does seem to fume a lot.

      • Bobathonic

        That’s why SMRT cabinet members stand upwind of him.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        That’s why the smoke alarms at Mar-a-Lago keep chirping.

        Aw, who am I kidding? Working smoke alarms?

    • gnomemansanisland

      He has zero sense of humor. He’s only happy when bullying or picking on someone.

      • cmd resistor

        Or getting applause.

        • mike stone

          From russian pee hookers.

      • AJ Milne

        That, exactly.

        He’s in his element, happy (as he ever gets) mocking others. His brain is a broken mess, and to him that’s ‘winning’. Watch him on stage, bringing the hate. He loves it.

        • gnomemansanisland

          How many of us know this bully from our days in junior high? Same guy is now president.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Fuck, we elected a Dalek…

          • Roadstergal

            I say ‘libelz’ often, but really, truly – DALEK LIBELZ.

        • Lord Jim

          When he was talking trash at that rally in Alabama and whipping up the fury against protesting football players, it was one of the scariest things I’ve seen.

          • AJ Milne

            Not wishing to unsettle anyone any more than they already are, but: I wonder if the 22nd century version of The History Channel will be showing that stuff.

            (Bear with us; it’s only 2D and less than 1000 fps, but you kinda need to see this, get how you spot it next time, always hoping _eventually_ we learn.)

          • Lord Jim

            Trump’s rallies do uncannily resemble Nazi rallies, so yeah. “Some Americans were asking themselves why other Americans were so eager to embrace such bigotry and hate. Cable news commentators pointed to’economic anxiety’. Many felt it was the last scream of a once-majority demographic losing its once- unchallenged power and influence.”

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Yes.

      When he’s whacking off to a picture of Ivanka.

    • HazooToo

      There are pictures of him smiling. You don’t want to see them. They’re worse than that cumfart who jacked up the price on those prescription drugs.

      • Lord Jim

        The goofy, smug smirk on his mug makes me mighty stabby.

    • Rags

      Or being whacked on the ass with a mag with pics of him and Ivanka.

  • Red Bird

    OT some days you just don’t understand why….

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump needs to always have the questions before hand, which is how he knew that drawing was of a camel.

    • cmd resistor

      So I saw something today where Pompeo the CIA guy addressed some group and said Trump “grasps intelligence,” as in the stuff they give him in his daily briefings, at the same level as 25 year intelligence veterans.
      “He has the grounding for him to be able to grasp this information in a way that he can ask sophisticated questions that then lead to important policy discussions,” Pompeo said. http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/370268-cia-director-trump-grasps-intelligence-info-at-same-level-as-25-year

      • MynameisBlarney

        Riiiiiight, lol.

      • Raan

        Grasps it by the pussy.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Beat me to it!

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        “So why can’t we just kill them?”

      • Lord Jim

        Is “intelligence” Drumpf’s name for his micropeen? Cuz that’s the only way that derp Pompeo said has any relation to reality.

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        He dost protest too much, methinks.

        • cmd resistor

          Yeah, I think I would have kind of just left that one alone.

  • bbayliss

    2 cents: I think Mueller used Sessions lies to congress to get him to cooperate.
    trump has tried to humiliate him and drive him out for some time, maybe Mueller’s protection is only good as long as he stays in office and cooperates?
    In any case, Sessions is in deep doo.

    • dshwa

      Mueller has flipped two of JeffBo’s underlings. I’m pretty sure he’s going to see if Sessions really wants to be the fall guy.

      • John Thorstensen

        Yes. Sessions never knows if Mueller already knows the answer to any given question.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    The country’s chief law-enforcement officer is in a metric shit-ton of legal jeopardy. There must be a word for that…

  • nightmoth

    The reported casualty list in the latest school shooting has gone up. Two 15 year olds dead in Kentucky, and 12 wounded. Here’s part of what the governor just said. “It is unbelievable that this would happen in a small, close-knit community like Marshall County.” Why? Why is it unbelievable, Guv? Are you really that stupid?

    • VirGinYa

      He’s an evangelical, so the answer is yes.

    • Dutchman

      Unlike a small close-knit community like Sandy Hook?

    • Roadstergal

      There’s nothing we can do to prevent these tragedies. Thoughts and Prayers!

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁
      • nightmoth

        Yes. Every Republican in the Kentucky legislature and the U.S. Congress will get right on that. Maybe even a minute of silence.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          That’s expecting too much.

          Start with 15 seconds of silence and work up in intervals.

    • laineypc

      Not stupid, in shock. Isn’t disbelief a totally normal response to any unexpected loss of life? . Yes, it’s naive in this day and age to think any of us safe from gun violence.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      A Russian-funded organization feeding unlimited firearms into the hands of disturbed children resulting in murders? It seems believable to me. Logical, even.

      Putin wants us to shoot each other. It ultimately saves money for this umbrella-assassination budget.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Saves money on healthcare also too. -Paul Ryan et. al.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Well, it’s not like they’re having the NRA do money laundering or….

        Never mind.

    • Lord Jim

      What he’s saying is, that it would be totally believable if it had happened in some big, liberal city full of ni**ers like Louisville or something.

    • dshwa

      I hope it stays 2, even though it means endless gun humpers saying mass shooting only counts if 3 peoplle die.
      (Yes, I has that argument with one after Vegas)

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      He means there are no black people.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Unbelievable because they didn’t allow any refugees in? Because they already kicked out all the muslims? Or because they have so many guns that you just know it has to be safe?

    • Boscoe

      …Because when your knit is too close, it cuts off the circulation to your brain?

    • TakingAmes

      Because in Kentucky, they just pray about the gun violence. Bevin (R-Stupid) can’t believe that those prayers don’t work in small, close-knit (read: mostly white) community like Marshall County. He’ll have to rethink his whole strategy!

    • It’s unbelievable because mass murder is something that happens in migrant-and-homo-and-(((globalist)))-infested Big Cities, not in Godfearing rural Sisterbuggery, KY.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        That’s offensive. They’re cousinbuggers, the sisterbuggers are one County over

    • AuntyMaude

      It is unbelievable that this would happen in this era of easily accessible weaponry. Just cannot grasp it.

    • yes.

  • Anna Rompage

    It’s bad enough that Donad fired Comey, now it’s coming out that Session is being pressured to fuck with, and potentially fire the leadership at the FBI….

    Something tells me Mueller doesn’t take kindly to evil elven stooges that bring politic douchefuckery into the DoJ…

  • JaveyDay
  • Nounverb911
    • Roadstergal

      Yes, because when your AG is interviewed by an Independent Counsel, you never, ever have any cause to know what was discussed.

    • Lord Jim

      Liar liar pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire!

      What a surprise.

      • AuntyMaude

        Nice throwback yo.

    • Pisto75666

      *side eye & with sarcasm* Mmm-hmm. Suuuuure

    • Boscoe

      ROFL Right, because it’s SO Trump to just not even care what someone might be saying about him. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Not worried.

      So, in Trumpian opposite speak, freaking out.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Jeff who?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        “Oh, you mean the coffee boy? I don’t really know him.”

  • bumfug

    Most common phrase heard from Mueller: “Don’t give me that shit.”

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Hey, BTW, Sessions has been too busy not remembering things to resurrect the Ed Meese anti-porn crusade but wouldn’t it be fun if Mueller found a secret on-line stash of naughty German stuff?

    • Raan

      Liane Cartman’s his favorite.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I’m guessing that his tastes run more to the, uh, elfin, if you know what I mean.

        • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

          No cosplay! No cosplay! You’re the cosplay!!

  • little miss high and mighty

    Just one innocent question:ok, 2:
    Please, we really need to know this:
    Why is J.B.Sessions not in trouble- big or otherwise for having lied to congress?.
    AND:
    was he under oath during the Mueller chat?

    • dshwa

      1) it’s up to the majority party on the comittee in question to move against someone who lies to congress.
      2) Lying to the FBI is a crime under oath or not.

      • little miss high and mighty

        So, when’s Danno gonna book him?

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Mueller might be waiting to do one huge perp walk with all of them at once.

          • little miss high and mighty

            Like kids, we are waiting for Christmas in January
            Thanks for the happys before lights out soon here in the way east.

          • HarpyLibtart

            I would LOVE to see a perp parade :P

        • theCryptofishist

          In his own sweet time, when he has airtight cases. Because we don’t want any more Bundyesque verdicts.

    • Jennifer R

      Yes, these interviews are structured in a way that lying is a crime.

  • dshwa

    Wait, Hair Furor asked Sessions about the interview? That’s an attempt to obstruct justice in and of itself.

    • OrG

      Why stop now?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        If so, did Mueller rattle Sessions sufficiently that littel’ Jeff was wearing a wire when Trump approached him. If not, he is even more of a fool than I take him for and that is a lot of fool.

        There is only one direction that he can trade a deal upwards. It’s Session’s only possible out.

        In the immortal words of Peter Cook, “Seize it.”

        • Hesavebread!

          It all depends on what Mueller really wants, if it is AOT,K than he can get them all for something, if he wants Trump for Russian fuckery then Sessions being disgraced but not convicted may be a price he’ll pay. Someone will turn, as well as Kelly, Papo etc., and first to do so gets the best deal.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Honestly, at this point it’s all he knows how to do

  • Yellow_Dog_Dem

    Please, please, please baby Jebus let this asshole go to jail with all the pot smokers who he helped put there with his anti-marijuana crap. That would be some poetic justice right there.

    • Roadstergal

      Let’s all pull a California and retroactively expunge petty pot convictions, though. Being in jail with Jeff Sessions is Cruel and Unusual.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        He would be annoying as hell, all right. Just the cackling would send me up the wall.

        • Boscoe

          I’m guessing it would be more sniveling and weeping, but same result. ;)

          • Mehmeisterjr

            This is why I never signed on as a Russian asset/agent/spy.

            The sniveling alone is so boring.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Otoh being locked up with a bunch of hippies is probably Sessions idea of hell on Earth…

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      And let’s make sure that he goes to one of those private prisons that Mother Jones wrote about (the ones that President Obama told to fuck right off in 2016). Yeah, the ones with cruel and unusual conditions such as insufficient food and virtually no medical care. The ones that Trump & Sessions promptly started using again in 2017.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Nah, that would just feed money to Eric Prince and Betsy DeVos.

        ADX would be fine with me.

        Or, if Trump attempts a pardon, The Tombs.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          GITMO or GTFO

          With blah MP guards

    • torturedsoul

      What are the odds he comes out alive.You know how cranky those weed smokers can get if deprived.

      • theCryptofishist

        You’re so cute! Believing that they can’t get drugs in jail.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        They”ll swipe the Oreos right off his tray and dare him to say something

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      But his fellow Klansmen will welcome him with , uh, seeing as he bragged about putting people away, uh, “votes”

      Lots of votes

  • John Thorstensen

    Mueller is a master. Sessions KNOWS that Flynn, Papadapolous, etc. have been talking to Mueller, but he DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THEY SAID. So if he were tempted to lie, he’ll have to think three times because if Mueller catches him lying, he’s in even deeper trouble.

  • Boscoe

    I’m guessing Sessions won the Guinness record for saying “I don’t recall”. Complete waste of time.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I expect Meuller was prepared and asked about something that no reasonable person would believe he was forgetful about. And That would be obstruction, in my internet lawyer opinion.

      • Boscoe

        I’m sure you are correct, but that didn’t stop butterbeans from having “memory lapses” previously. The only way I can imagine Muller getting anything useful is if he already HAS something solid he can hang on Sessions that he can use as a bargaining chip to loosen Sessions’ memory hole.

        • C4TWOMAN

          That’s what I’m guessing… Meuller toying with Sessions, giving him plenty of rope. Though the fact Trump is so upset supports the idea Sessions really isn’t passing info on. Not like Trump could actually fake that…

        • Relativicus

          That was in front of former colleagues in congress. This is part of a criminal investigation.

    • you mean the record formerly held by one of his predecessors named Alberto Gonzales?

      seems as though the job of AG comes with a very hefty amount of selective memory loss.

      • chezmoi

        My cat just asked me who would take the job of being Alberto Gonzales.

        *I do so love your name*

  • Brian Loudermilch

    I’m Betting that Little Beauregard just got Flipped. Tell the entire Truth right Now
    Or his previous Perjury becomes an Instant Federal Indictment.
    Which is why there was No explanation to Chump after the Interview.

    • theCryptofishist

      Seems more than possible.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Prison’s no good for Butterbeans. AB can’t use him in the yard and the blahs are contrary, downright “uppity” at times.

      “What we have here, you Klan-loving Commie, is failure to communicate”

      Makes a man’s eyes damp, thinking about what awaits Ol’ Wacist Wascally Wabbit

    • damn. that’s the US ag.

      damn

  • ibwilliamsi

    Ah do declare! I believe you meant “Fiddle-ee-dee”, kind sir!

  • gratuitous

    Not over yet? But, but, but Ty Cobb assured his stupid client that the whole thing was going to be wrapped up by Christmas, New Year’s at the latest! No, he didn’t say which year, but can you blame a very hopeful Donald Jell-o Trump for hoping that Cobb was talking about the end of 2017?

    Strap in, Donnie! This ride is just getting going.

    • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

      Jell-O Libelz!1!! Jell-O belongs to The Coz, who is also in the news this week, for his “comedy show”. Small club in Philly, small crowd. Sad.
      http://www.vulture.com/2018/01/bill-cosby-does-surprise-stand-up-at-philly-club.html

      • chezmoi

        What does he find to joke about any more?

        *don’t answer that*

        • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

          Actually, his blindness.

          • chezmoi

            Oh, I hadn’t heard about that. I haven’t been paying attention to him, TBH. Not a thing I’d wish even on an enemy.

  • ken_kukec

    It’s important to recognize that, in answering Franken’s question during the confirmation hearing, Sessions went off on his tangent about not meeting with Russians himself in an effort to avoid answering the question Franken actually asked — what he would do as AG if it turned out members of Team Trump were colluding with the Russians.

    I doubt Sessions was very deep into the collusion himself, but he was close enough to the action that he needed to stay willfully blind, and he didn’t want to commit to a course of action given the likelihood that the Russian hanky-panky would come out after he was confirmed.

  • mardam422

    Awww. Sessions wouldn’t share the test with Trump. I guess that means Mueller is grading on a curve?

    • theCryptofishist

      It also means that Sessions has more self-discipline in those weeks than Trump will have in his entire life.

  • Spurning Beer

    Aw c’mon, y’all. C Beauregard Sessions III doesn’t want to get fired and have to go back to Alabama. It’s kind of a shit hole.

  • HereForTheSnark

    From News & Guts: BREAKING from The New York Times: “James Comey was interviewed last year by special counsel investigators. They discussed memos detailing his interactions with President Trump.”

    • theCryptofishist

      The hell you say!

    • AuntyMaude

      Lordy I’m glad there are memos!

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Who is the woman sitting behind his right shoulder? That’s some mighty side eye action.

    • Hesavebread!

      That’s Mother Sessions.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        And even she’s throwing side eye? JeffieBo must’ve been hickory dickering a real whopper of a lie right there.

        • AuntyMaude

          My interpretation of her side glance: Goddammit, Butterbeans, when I get you home I’mo drag you out to the woodshed by your ear.

      • Reegstar

        OMG! I thought it was some sort of male attendant with a squirrel carcass on his head.

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      LORAX 2020: “That’s a woman?”

    • javadavis

      And who is the guy behind his right shoulder? I am certain I should know, but all I keep pulling up is “Corey Lewnadowski” and “No, Not Miller, that guy is much uglier than this one”.

    • Janae Bess

      It’s his wife.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      That’s the Senate Ladies’ Auxiliary’s foremost babby-blankie crocheter, Mrs. Butterbean Sessions.

      • alpacapunchbowl
        • SweetDeeKat

          Cute! Ornate stitch, too. Impressed.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Thank you!

        • theCryptofishist

          We begin to see where your nym comes from.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ding ding!

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          I crochet many babby blankies also too…

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/35b9913702250d0f997fe30fad4b8f3c741537611d4e7d9b050ea48d26f065ea.jpg

          What I was remembering was that Senator Franken said something once about how Jeffie seemed to think that Franken shouldn’t have questioned him as fiercely during his confirmation simply because Mrs. Butterbean had made a blankie for a Franken grandbaby.

          • Ducksworthy

            Lovely to see Franken’s Revenge even after they Roger Stoned him.

        • Dinz6315

          Oh, very very nice, I must say!

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Thank you!

      • AuntyMaude

        What a lovely couple.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Aren’t they just?

          She looks like she keeps him in a jar in the kitchen.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Don’t feed after midnight

        • Bebecca

          Wonder who wears the pants in that family? She just looks mean.

      • Heyzeus Ahchay

        Holy fuck! That’s Mrs. Fudd?!??! No wonder he takes his glasses off outside the office.

  • Daniel

    How could Sessions have told Trump anything? It’s unreasonable to expect him to have remembered any of it.

  • Marla

    I wonder if Sessions chronically masturbates to racist porn inside his Keebler tree.

    • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

      If? If? I don’t wonder “if”. I know that it’s all this and more.

    • “Racist porn”, eh? In 1960s Israel there was a secret subculture of Holocaust porn. Sexual fantasies are funny thing.

      • Swampgas_Man

        I’ve met Jewish gay men with Nazi fantasies, nothing is off limits.

        Except furries. I’ll never understand furries.

        • theCryptofishist

          But you sort of understand Nazi furries. Sexuality is a many splendored thing.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Ok, a scratch AND leather. Lots of leather.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          They don’t want understanding, just a scratch behind the ears, amirite Badkitty?

      • Kooolest G

        if you’ve ever seen “the night porter” you know how fucked up nazi fetish sex is

      • chronozoan

        I wonder if Yair Nettin-Yahoo makes Nikki Haley dress up like Ilsa She-Wolf Of The SS for that $125?

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        People never cease to amaze me.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      He prides himself on it! (Pump Up the Volume reference 😎😎😎)

    • Mr. White

      I get the feeling he’s one of those closet case evangelicals where his porn consists of watching lots of gay BBC stuff. His deepest, darkest desire is to receive a serious anal pounding by a hunky black dude.

      • Marla

        I can see him cumming into a Confederate flag every time a racist cop kills another unarmed black man.

  • rg9rts

    And we know he lied his ass off

    • Bad Scooter

      or kept repeating his mantra, “aai dew nought re-caawl.”

      • rg9rts

        That was in the style of St Ronnie

  • TundraGrifter

    From this morning’s Politico PLAYBOOK:

    – “After a year, top Trump staffers still working without certified financial disclosures,” by McClatchy’s Anita Kumar and Ben Wieder: “A year into Donald Trump’s presidency, records show five of his top staffers still have not secured final approval of their financial reports – disclosures that are required by law to ensure Americans that these senior officials aren’t personally benefiting from their White House jobs. Another four staffers received certification by the Office of Government Ethics after McClatchy first requested their forms last month.

    “The delay is likely due to Trump staffers either refusing to disclose mandated information to OGE, failing to resolve a conflict of interest or violating an ethics law or regulation, according to two ethics experts familiar with the long-standing process. But delays can also occur when White House ethics officials don’t force staffers to comply or because OGE is behind on paperwork.”

    This article is absolutely worth reading! Get this:

    “Kushner’s ethics arrangements have attracted scrutiny from his earliest days in the administration. Kushner initially said he would sell his assets to his brother or to a trust controlled by his mother, according to The New York Times, but the White House and Kushner’s attorney did not respond to repeated requests about whether Kushner had finished selling all the assets he was required to divest as part of his ethics agreement. As McClatchy previously reported, he’s been assessed late fees twice for his ethics filings and revised his form 39 times, adding millions of dollars worth of previously undisclosed assets, according to the Associated Press.”

    http://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/politics-government/white-house/article195476759.html#storylink=cpy

    39 fucking revisions? That’s more Mulligans than there are in Dublin, Ireland!

    • Bebecca

      Leave Jared alone, his secretary just made a mistake, 39 of them.

      • “M”

        666 of them on Fifth Avenue

      • TundraGrifter

        Apparently financial disclosures and applications for security clearances include as part of the package the same forms submitted by a person’s spouse. So Ivanka Trump is just as guilty as her husband.

        • Bebecca

          awww shucks

      • Dudleydidwrong

        So he hired Rose Mary Woods’ daughter? Or maybe he just dug up zombie Rose Mary.

    • ez

      He has done the same with information for his ‘security clearance’.

      Trump didn’t drain the swamp, he stocked it with mutant Trout and diseased bottom feeding Carp.

  • BJW

    “Fiddlesticks” is a good one Evan. May I suggest using “fiddle dee dee” the next time? It has such a Scarlet O’Hara, go fuck yourself Southern charm.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      I was thinking along the lines of Bullwinkle’s “Oh, fiddle faddle!” 😁😁😁

      • BJW

        That’s a good one too.

    • Hazel Blumberg

      I’ve learned that, here in the Deep South/Bible Belt, one simply says, “Oh, bless his heart!” That means basically: Go fuck yourself.

  • bluicebank

    I get the feeling that Mueller is finding that it’s rug pissers all the way down.

  • YaJagoff

    When the shit hits the fan, trump will be standing directly in front of said fan.

  • Mike

    I feel like Scully while Mulder’s trying to sell me on that “I want to Believe” shit…
    The gut punch of Nov 8, 2016 was just a few seconds ago in my reality.
    I won’t be happy til Trump and about 35 of his cronies are all wearing orange jumpsuits…and honestly, the chances of that seem pretty slim.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Jefferson Sessions? That was the one with Anita Bryant taking over for Grace Slick, right? Ted Nugent instead of Jorma, Charlie Daniels in place of Papa John Creach. Worst of all the Jefferson Airplane splinter groups, even worse than Starship.

    • “M”

      heeeee just wants somebody to luff

    • 1slyangel

      Even factoring in “We Built This City”??
      Yeah, you are right, worse.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        it is surprisingly close

    • From Russia with Love

      Thanks for not making fun of Paul Kantner.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        well, I never said he wasn’t in that version.

  • Little Lulu Ω

    Since when did Jeff Sessions and Barney Frank get married?

  • MsLonesomeBlues

    “Sessions would be roasting butterbeans IN JAIL for the rest of his natural life if he didn’t flip on Trump? ” Roasting his butt more like it.

    • looksquirrels

      I misread this as roasting butter beans in hell.” Either one works for me.

      • thixotropic jerk

        Much easier to burn them in that location so “Careful, Jeffey Beau!”

  • James Lamere

    .I cant remember where I put my memory

  • Leslie

    Google is offereing to new employee $99/hr to complete few jobs on the computer .. Labor Some only few hours & stay greater time together with your loved ones … any individual can also avail this online service…on Saturday I bought a great new Mercedes-Benz S-class after I been earning $20400 this past six weeks .it sounds the easiest-work but you wont forgive yourself if you do not have a peek at this.!ew383a:↭↭↭ http://GoogleCashCareerSolarWorkFromHome/more/cash ♥♥♥e♥♥♥f♥♥b♥♥t♥c♥♥♥k♥g♥♥e♥♥♥y♥♥♥n♥♥d♥♥♥x♥♥♥c♥♥q♥♥♥k♥♥d♥♥t♥♥k♥♥♥a♥♥♥q♥x♥♥n♥♥♥l♥♥♥p♥♥♥q:::::!hx233j:lhuh

    • texcynical

      I won’t do it for one penny less than $100.50 per hour

    • dslindc

      WHERE IS LORI? IS SHE OK?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Aw, Lori is off in her Mercedes AMG GT-C that she bought from her job as hostess in a glory hole establishment. Lori quit that Google crap job to make real money. Difficult to keep up with these folks.

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