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Remember this insane thing? Proof we need voter ID!

Donald Trump’s pet voter fraud commission may be dead — or really, driven underground — but we’re still learning all sorts of fun stuff about how it operated before Trump disbanded it earlier this month and tasked the Department of Homeland Security with finding the three million illegal voters who gave Hillary the popular vote. For instance, the Washington Post reports today that in its quest to gather every state’s voter records, the commission requested not just the full data set from Texas, but also asked for a separate option that flagged the names of all voters with Hispanic surnames:

In buying nearly 50 million records from the state with the nation’s second-largest Hispanic population, a researcher for the Presidential Advisory Commission on Election Integrity checked a box on two Texas public voter data request forms explicitly asking for the “Hispanic surname flag notation,” to be included in information sent to the voting commission, according to copies of the signed and notarized state forms.

The data was ultimately never delivered to the commission, because Texas voting rights groups were among the many who sued the commission. Silly activists thought maybe the commission might have been trying to push voter suppression measures. Now where would they get such a crazy idea?

So, sure, maybe from that request to flag all Hispanic voters, but they couldn’t have known that when they sued.

The requests for voter data from the states were made by the commission’s policy adviser, Ronald Williams II, who was eventually fired from the commission in October 2017 after he was charged with possession of child porn (he should probably not claim it was demographic data). The defunct commission’s co-chair, Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach, who’s now running for governor, insists he has no idea how that checkmark got on the form. He certainly never asked Williams to request that data, heavens no! He told WaPo,

“at no time did the commission request any state to flag surnames by ethnicity or race. It’s a complete surprise to me.”

As for that awful Mr. Williams, Kobach said he was shocked, shocked that such a thing would happen, and that Wiliams must have gone rogue:

“Mr. Williams did not ask any member of the commission whether he should check that box or not, so it certainly wasn’t a committee decision.”

Such “information does not, did not advance the commission’s inquiry in any way, and this is the first I’ve heard the Texas files included that,” Kobach said Friday.

Kobach said: “I don’t know what sort of data analysis you would do even remotely relevant to it, but also having just one state” would be “useless. It just doesn’t make any sense.”

Following that vigorous denial, Mr. Kobach then presumably paused to thank a cashier who handed him a WND article about illegal immigrants voting and said, “Your winnings, sir.”

When the Post attempted to reach him for comment, Williams wasn’t answering his phone. Imagine that.

The option to sort voter data by Hispanic surnames is on the Texas forms for legitimate purposes; it’s been used since 1983 to send bilingual election notices and sample ballots. Justin Levitt, who worked in the Justice Department overseeing voter rights during the Obama administration, told the Dallas Morning News that tracking Hispanic voters is commonly used to help with redistricting and for legitimate research.

“But for the Kobach commission to ask for it is super weird,” said Levitt, a professor at Loyola Law School in Los Angeles. “I mean, super weird.”

The request could indicate that the commission was searching for non-citizens on the voter rolls and attempting to check the citizenship status of Hispanic voters, Levitt said.

“That — I cannot say more emphatically — is the sort of discriminatory racial profiling that the constitution forbids in official government action,” Levitt said. “It’s deeply disturbing.”

But wait! Maybe someone at the White House could pull a retroactive explanation out of their ass? An anonymous White House source did just that for WaPo, explaining there was nothing suspicious about it at all, you see:

given the option in Texas, the voting commission asked to identify Hispanic surnames to resolve data discrepancies or confusion caused by the traditional Spanish naming convention that uses the surnames of both parents.

“There was never a request made to flag people based on their ethnicity,” the White House official said Friday. “That was never asked for, nor is that what this [Texas] response is saying, though I can see why some could read it that way.”

Huh! Almost seems plausible until you combine it with Kobach’s denial that the commission had asked for the ethnic breakdown at all.

Not that Kobach is ever particularly honest anyway; Levitt pointed out that Kobach had also said he’d keep advising DHS as its work went forward, although DHS later said Kobach would not be working with it at all. It looks fishy either way, he added: If Kobach’s lying about asking for the information, that suggests something nasty was afoot, but if it happened without his knowledge, that suggests the commission was “tripping all over itself” with “no idea what they were doing … and how they were going to do it.”

Which actually sounds like standard operating procedure in Trumpworld. Hey, maybe the commission was both racist AND a disorganized clusterfuck!

We may or may not find out more about the misbegotten inner workings of the fraudulent voter commission; former commission member Matthew Dunlap, Maine’s secretary of state, sued the commission last year to disclose its records so he could do his job. Even though a judge ruled in Dunlap’s favor, the commission earlier this month refused to turn over any documents because, hey, it had just been disbanded, so there was no need for Dunlap to see any of it. He and others are still suing to get all the commission’s internal documents released, because Jesus what a mess.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money!

[WaPo / Dallas Morning News / Governing]

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  • MynameisBlarney

    They’re gettin ready to go full nazi.

    • willi0000000

      they’ve been planning that since 1981.

  • Timothy Watson

    OFFS, the state of Texas has no problem uploading voter registration data by FTP, WHICH HAS ABSOLUTELY NO ENCRYPTION?!

    • Beelzebubba

      Fully Transparent Protocol?

    • OneYieldRegular

      It’s Texas, Jake.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Morans gonna moran.

    • willi0000000

      but. but. but. it’s zipped . . . who could possibly read a .zip file?

      • Timothy Watson

        Dammit, no one has PKZIP other than us!

    • SterWonk

      Oh good, I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that.

      It’s 2015, FFS; sftp is not that hard!

  • La forza del resistino

    So if your last name ends in a vowel, you’re suspect. Sorry Obama.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    If they’re this eager to have voter fraud, there is a simple solution: pay voters the way Wall Street CEOs are paid.

  • SDGeoff3

    Are “suspense voters” the undecided ones? Our readers would love to know.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Maybe the suspense is whether they’ll get their asses to the polls in the first place.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Ay caramba!

  • TJ Barke

    Nazis gonna naz.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    ☑️ Flag Nazi/KKK members and sympathizers
    – Kobach
    – Cruz
    – Trump

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Just hand the list of names to Homeland Security and let Trump’s deportation force handle it from here.

  • jesuswasablack

    Gosh, it seems like someone has a hard-on for the messicans, suprising?

    https://uncouthmarie.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/1076.png

    • Phoenixdoglover

      If only we had some warning.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “But for the Kobach commission to ask for it is super weird,” said Levitt, a professor at Loyola Law School in Los Angeles. “I mean, super weird.”

    Well, it makes sense in the context of Donald’s reign of terror…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8a376fb468800a9aea7b64c1de1bc4dbb6a9d9ccc3baf072f9229ed19dc7edb7.jpg

  • BadKitty904
    • Ellie

      That cannot be posted too often.

      • BadKitty904

        Honestly, given this “Administration’s” level of bigotry, I’m going to wear this image out…

        • willi0000000

          don’t worry . . . i’ll ftp you a thousand copies . . . i just need some information:
          – your bank routing number
          – your account number
          – your Social Security number
          – all your money
          – and the answer to the following question:
          “are you now, have you ever been, or will you ever be a member of _________?

    • Zippy49

      I want this on a bumper sticker. I live in an area that has a significant Latino population. Hell, they helped us flip our congressperson from red to blue…with the help of the non-partisan redistricting done a couple years ago.

      • BadKitty904

        Good thinking. It’d be a hit here in Florida, too.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I want it on a t-shirt to wear to the grand opening for the new restaurant owned by a Venezuelan immigrant they had an article about in the local paper.

        • Zippy49

          Hello Wonkette, are you listening? I’m up for a shirt, too, copyrights permitting.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yes, what you said!

    • armed_bears
      • Werewolf

        Oh, I think BK knows *exactly* what that word means.

        • BadKitty904

          Indeed, I do.

          • willi0000000

            did you google it too?

            Translations of pendejo

            adjective
            stupid estúpido, pendejo, bruto, atontado, estulto, bozalnoun

            noun
            motherfucker hijo de puta, pendejo, coño
            coward cobarde, gallina, temeroso, pendejo, asqueroso, rajado
            berk imbécil, idiota, pendejo

          • little miss high and mighty

            pinche gabacho. <>

          • BadKitty904

            lol No, I was born and raised around Spanish-speakers…

          • willi0000000

            you know i kid, kid.

          • BadKitty904

            *purrs*

          • SDGeoff3

            Dick. Rolls right off the tongue.

  • Spurning Beer

    If only the request form had offered an option to flag voters with Jew names….

  • Anna Rompage

    What, republicons lying about their intentions in regards to their voter commission?

    Why we haven’t burned this muther fucker to the ground already is beyond me…

    BTW, did you hear 84% of the financial gains in 2017 went to the top 1%

    We are doomed…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuOT1bRYdK8

    • HazooToo

      Why can’t they just fucking run and stop cheating? This shit is so depressing, if this were a board game, Dems would have gotten up and refused to play anymore years ago, because no one wants to play with a fucking cheater. Third party candidates need to take over THEIR SHIT, not ours!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        That’s the problem here:

        Dems – Trying to work the middle so they don’t lose all the white, middle-aged, voters who still vote regularly. By doing so, they tick off the far left, who goes off in a snit and votes for some moron like Stein, spawning little, progressive sub-parties which siphon off just enough votes to hand the whole business to the Reps.

        Reps – Already so far to the right that no sub-parties are needed. All the while spouting empty rhetoric designed to appeal to enough middle voters to keep winning.

        • HazooToo

          Are third party voters REALLY mostly far left? Because the libertarians seem a lot more like Republicans, to me.

          • willi0000000

            libertarians are just republicans who like to smoke dope . . . come election time they just roll into line and vote the party line.

            [ and all the lefties who think they found allies are dumbfounded every time they do it ]

          • Snork Maiden

            the libertarians I know are there for their anti war beliefs. They also all tend to be very religious but more tolerant than other religious people i have met over the years. they all hate Hillary but cant say why but know exactly why they hate drumpf.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Good point. It would be really interesting to see numbers on how many Libertarians voted libertarian in the last general. Especially in the surprise states like WI, OH, MI, PA.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Although, a big chunk of the Libertarian party is the “legalize dope” wing, so that would be taking from the D side. Hard to tell with those guys.

          • HazooToo

            If all they crib from us is pot, then it’s not that hard. Their position seems to be “people are inherently uncorrupt, and nothing bad will happen if we eliminate all regulation and taxation, and privatize everything”.

  • Beelzebubba

    Did they ask for black-sounding names, or do they figure it out for themselves?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Optional search for names like Washington, JJ, or Rerun. Cross reference any association with the Harlem Globetrotters.

      • Noxious Resistance

        D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty….

    • BadKitty904

      “Jewish” names, also? Too?

  • Fire and Fury Demme

    OT.
    Keep checking for Mueller indictments.
    (It’s all I can handle now.)
    Keep fighting, Wonkers!

  • beingreleased

    This is highly speculative and it would be irresponsible of me to spread it around, but it’s possible the Trump Campaign paid The Trump Organization $130,000 just after the election to send to Trump’s porn star friend.
    https://twitter.com/CREWcrew/status/955827857221193728

    • FauxAntocles

      But it’s not exactly 130k, so it’s ok.

      • MynameisBlarney

        They paid the balance in cold hard rubles.

        • OutOfOrbit

          the balance covered attorney’s fees

      • Timothy Watson

        The difference is probably the exact amount it cost to create that shell LLC in Delaware which wrote the check to Daniels.

    • Zippy49

      That town name sounds too made up for this to be real. But it is…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It is an actual town, as anyone who read MAD in the 60’s and 70’s can tell you.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          There is a Hicksville. But 130,000 would generously be about 6 months rent for a house. So what house? What office space? If he was using campaign funds, How were they being used there? I bet they were sloppy as hell and treated it like a big joke.

        • little miss high and mighty

          “Last Train To Hicksille”
          Dan Hicks (and his Hot Licks)
          Great album

          shilled for- a second time

      • Werewolf

        Hicksville is a real place on Lawn Guyland.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Follow the money. Collusion? Hard to pin down. Tax evasion, money laundering and misuse of campaign funds? Now we’re talking.

    • Shan

      No matter what it was for, isn’t that um…?

      • Paul

        Infuriatingly easy?

    • Beelzebubba

      Probably what Il Douche billed his campaign for a single office in the Dark Tower. There was a bit of noise back in the early days, about the rent suddenly going stratospheric the moment other people’s money became available.

    • Christopher Story

      Even I’m clever enough to know you tack on 22% to the actual fee to obscure the number, then use the 22% skimmed off the top to pay a low wage employee to dummy up the paperwork for a rental of that price.

  • BadKitty904
  • OneYieldRegular

    “I don’t know what sort of data analysis you would do even remotely relevant to it”

    Call me crazy, but I don’t think “data analysis” is what the Kobach commission had in mind.

    • BadKitty904

      Our Tax Dollars Not at Work.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: The Berners are gonna crow about this:

    In a series of hypothetical 2020 one-on-one contests Trump trails Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders by a 55% to 42% margin among registered voters.

    hit ’em with the next sentence:

    He lags further behind former Vice President Joe Biden by a wide 57% to 40% split, and trails television personality Oprah Winfrey by a 51% to 42% divide.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fuck Bernie. All talk, no walk.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I was a Bernie supporter until Hillary got the nomination.
        Then I was a Hillary supporter.

        Now, I think he may be compromised too.

        • HazooToo

          Same, all the way through.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Ditto

    • AJ Milne

      The question remaining: who are these 42%, and what part of ‘He’s a corrupt, appalling, dangerous, completely unprincipled demagogue playing you with your hatreds, and who would throw you under the bus and back repeatedly over you laughing’ don’t they understand?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        Republicans.

      • Beelzebubba

        All the parts, Katie.

      • Christopher Story

        The ones who love Putin now because America slept with a black president. See Steven Segal.

    • jodyleek

      OHJ for the win!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      It’s absolutely meaningless. In early 2015, Hillary Clinton beat any Republican candidate in polling by a wide margin. We all know how that turned out.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, Russia cheated to help subvert our Democracy.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          That and our so called liberal media.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I really wish we did have a liberal media.

    • shivaskeeper

      No one has declared they are running yet. Meaningless poll. Does not matter. There is nothing to crow about.

    • Clark_Nova

      No Oprah!!! No more billionaires in politics. That means you, too, Diane Feinstein.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • BadKitty904

      Good. Give Yertle a dose of his own vitriol…

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Why not? If they’re going to play hardball, why shouldn’t we. Some of their RWNJ caucus in Congress already said that there is no agreement on Dreamers, none, that would appease their idiot base.

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      Mexico is going to pay for it, anyway

    • Beelzebubba

      Heh … someobody has negotiating skills!

    • shivaskeeper

      Schumer might have an idea about what he’s doing? But that goes against the all the spineless, caving Dem narratives.

  • Beowoof14

    KKKris KKKobach trying to find out who the minorities are, you don’t say. He is such a raging racist scumbag who appears to not be very good at hiding his racist scumbaggery.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Obviously the changing demographics of Tejas must be freaking out KKK and GOPers if they’re trying to rub out brown voters.

    It seems that American Apartheid is what the GOPers want.

    Here is crazy ass suggestion… why not be nice to Hispanics? Yeah I know the crazy Meth smoking base of dimwitted racists and the rich racists won’t have it.

    • Beelzebubba

      The sole source of GOP power is people who are afraid – you’d think that Muslims would be enough of a bogeyman for the dumbfuck base, but noooo… they have to be made afraid of ALL the non-whites.

      • ChumpsForTrump

        You’d think they would be scared to death of orange people..

      • Hiss

        Can’t tell them apart, you know.

    • Zippy49

      I am nice to just about everyone. But I’m going to admit that I’ve been treated badly at times for being a “Blanco.” A few of those incidents would make most people realize that racism is EVERYWHERE.

      • Yes. But in the US, only whites can be oppressive. We are the only ones with the numbers and the political and economic dominance to systematically and often unthinkingly bully, limit, or otherwise oppress other ethnic groups.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Actually, Tejas was a place where the GOP really was reaching out to Hispanics. Remember the whole GW Bush speaking (badly) in Spanish thing? Even though Hispanic voters got squat in return, a really big chunk of them voted R back in those days.

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        A really big chunk of them voted for Trump, too.

      • Clark_Nova

        Mostly the Gusanos in FL.

  • miss_grundy

    I guess they don’t teach history in Texas. There are probably lots of Hispanic- surnamed Americans who can trace their ancestry back to the Spanish colonisation of the Southwest. Which means they have been there longer than the English-surnamed Americans.

    • BadKitty904

      The oldest “European” family living within the continental U.S. is the Solana family here in Florida, where their ancestors first settled in 1565.

      • gnomemansanisland

        Wow. That’s old and still living! So Ponce De Leon was right about the fountain of youth.

        • BadKitty904

          You might be surprised. I have any number of relatives who have lived beyond 100 yrs. old…

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            This means we’ll have our Badkitty around for a long, long, time!

          • BadKitty904

            Ya never know, but the odds trend that way…

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Is Spain really part of (white) Europe?

        • BadKitty904

          Yup. Just like the Eyetalians and the Greeks.

        • Clark_Nova

          Catalonia certainly is.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Slipped right past customs.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Details.

      • Paul

        Alternative facts.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The same thing is true in California, but they don’t count, because not really white.

      • Clark_Nova

        Why does no one ever talk about the Indian slaves owned by the Catholic Church in NM, AZ and CA?

        • SDGeoff3

          Next time in CA, take a guided tour of a mission church and bring that up to the catholic docent. It’s soooo much funs.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      The Mexican Government halted immigration from the US in 1835 because the US people refused to adapt to the culture and language in Mexico. Remember the Alamo

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Part of that refusal was related to Slavery. The American Mexicans (Texicans) didn’t mind learning Spanish or Converting to Catholicism. But the Republic of Mexico had outlawed slavery with the Constitution of 1824.
        Texicans were trying to farm Cotton, which was almost impossible with paid labor.
        Foreshadowing the events of 1861, Texas seceded from Mexico to be a Slave Republic.

      • Clark_Nova

        The culture of Mexico at that point was anti-slave and Catholic. That’s pretty much what the Texian war was about.

    • Mavenmaven

      The whites supremacists would deport them too.

      • Spurning Beer

        “Go back to where you came from, Pocahontas!”

    • Clark_Nova

      There are Native-American-named people there who can trace their ancestry back a lot farther than that but since they’re not White, it doeesn’t matter.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “tripping all over itself” is a nice way of saying tripping over its dick… or its dickses

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    Let’s really confuse them by legally changing our names to Manly McWhitedude.

    • proudgrampa

      “Funny, you don’t LOOK white.”

      • “My grandmother was Dutch.”

    • icekat

      Ha! Great minds. Though I was going to suggest “Biffington von Whitedude.”

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        Biffington! Haha!

    • Christopher Story

      White, Hugh Mann

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m thinking we could fuck with them even more by mixing it up.

      Buffy D’Shawn Gomez Ali Vanderbilt

    • Noxious Resistance

      IDK, that still ends in a vowel.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Donald José Carnitas-Trump

  • ChumpsForTrump

    That’s pretty funny actually…

    When the committee members who actually made the request were asked, they were all like “umm… well… you see… we didn’t.. umm.. we don’t know how that got there! I do not recall!”

    Then, way later, an almost plausible explanation comes from someone else.

    Crime 101: get your story straight first, and talk second.

    lol

  • schmannity

    Was there no box for Likes Puppies, Candy, and Gladiator Movies?

    • yyyaz

      Ouch!

  • shivaskeeper

    Incompetent and evil. That pretty well sums up anything to do with Trump.

  • Mike

    IDK Doc, that seems like the least deplorable thing this week.

    Ivanka’s got a job search underway to replace Donald Trump’s second White House Chief Staff with his third White House Chief of Staff, even though the second guy is still on the job. (prolly fighting over who gets to stick the knife in Kelly’s back) The FBI Director is threatening to resign, after refusing to fire the Deputy FBI Director, after the last FBI Director was illegally fired. We have a cabinet member who keeps falling asleep in meetings … his top deputy just quit and everybody’s favorite Elf on the Shelf just got grilled by the SC and no doubt told a trillion lies.
    Did I leave out the part bout the porn star’s hush money being paid out of the Trump campaign…?
    And it’s only Monday 1pm…

    • BadKitty904

      Thanks, GOP!

    • cmd resistor
      • Beanz&Berryz

        And another $120,000 to share his room. Less than the porn actress, but Melania is older…

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Condoms all the way

    • doktorzoom

      Hate to break it to you, but it’s also Tuesday…

      • Mike

        Damn it…;)

      • TJ Barke

        It’s only been what, two weeks since Fire and Fury?

        • yyyaz

          “Gish Gallop” is no longer close to sufficient to describe the non-stop tsunami of bullshit, fuckery, incompetence and treason from Gooperville these days.

        • puredog

          My copy arrives day after tomorrow!

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        Next you’ll be telling us it’s 2018, and I’m not scheduled to start writing the correct year on documents until at least April.

    • puredog

      No mention of the sleepaholic cabinet member is complete without noting that, while asleep, he drools, and then when he comes to he wipes the drool up with his tie. True fact.

  • BadKitty904

    I’m shocked! SHOCKED!!!, etc.

  • It’s a good thing that our Nazis are dumber and less competent than Colonel Klink or we’d really be fucked.

    • I know, right? Their idiocy is all that is saving us from the abyss.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      But the dummies have guns and power and the smart ones are locked up

      • Clark_Nova

        I can haz gunz, too.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      Super scary dark thought: the next ones will probably be competent.

  • Crystalclear12

    Ever since the Nixon School of Fuckery closed the quality of the fuckery has really gone down hill.

    • I know, right?

      • Me not sure

        You really can’t teach this stuff on line. You have to get in there and get your hands dirty.

        • Leslie

          Google is offereing to new employee $99/hr to complete few jobs on the computer .. Labor Some only few hours & stay greater time together with your loved ones … any individual can also avail this online service…on Saturday I bought a great new Mercedes-Benz S-class after I been earning $20400 this past six weeks .it sounds the easiest-work but you wont forgive yourself if you do not have a peek at this.!ew383a:↭↭↭ http://GoogleCashCareerSolarWorkFromHome/more/cash ♥♥♥e♥♥♥f♥♥b♥♥t♥c♥♥♥k♥g♥♥e♥♥♥y♥♥♥n♥♥d♥♥♥x♥♥♥c♥♥q♥♥♥k♥♥d♥♥t♥♥k♥♥♥a♥♥♥q♥x♥♥n♥♥♥l♥♥♥p♥♥♥q:::::!hx233j:lhu

    • efoveks

      I can see how some might read it that way. lol!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Dick Nixon was the consummate bent professional.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Tough to get good help these days

    • Paul
    • You should ice that burn

      Indeed, but then again, until further notice, here we are fucked, so the fuckery is still effective, and Roger fucking Stone is still free to move about the cabin.

      • Crystalclear12

        Quantity does not replace quality!

  • Master Contrail Program

    I’ve heard that Amanda Huginkiss, Seymour Butts and I.P. Frehly have voted in several states. All Clinton voters too, natch.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Also too Haywood Jabuzzoff.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Amanda Reckonwith got purged

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          So did Pikup Andropov.

    • Anna Rompage

      I hear Edith Cox voted for Trump though… As did Mike Hawk

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      Mike Hunt couldn’t be bothered to vote.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Harry Cox voted for Johnson. Imagine that.

        • Anna Rompage

          My friend’s Auntie Vaccine voted for Stein, imagine that…

          • Master Contrail Program

            Juan Ball cast a write-in for Deez Nutz.

          • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

            Deez Nutz: Truly the dark horse to watch.

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            He was doing pretty good for a beginner in the last election.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Dewey Gland was a Trumper, of course.

          • Clark_Nova

            “I would like to sing you all a little song…”

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Washing her hair

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      What about Rusty Zipper, Ettiene Wheeler, and Marge Inovera?

    • stablegeniusahughes798

      I bet Dickie Trickle has, too.

  • Mavenmaven

    Kobach meant that names are too complicated. Do thet look brownish? Deport!

  • schmannity

    Homeland Security will get to the vote fraud right after catching Nicole Brown Simpson’s killer–probably some illegal alien

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Ill eagle soccer player

  • SayItWithWookies

    “There was never a request made to flag people based on their ethnicity,” the White House official said Friday. “That was never asked for, nor is that what this [Texas] response is saying, though I can see why some could read it that way.”

    Oh right — the checkmark next to “Hispanic surname flag notation” definitely is not a request to flag Hispanic surnames. In much the same way that the meeting with Junior, Kushner and Manafort and all those Russian agents in Trump Tower wasn’t collusion.

    • Spurning Beer

      “Was not collusion. Was … clambake.”

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Was it a canned clam bake?

        • Spurning Beer

          No monster. No monster. You’re the monster.

      • OutOfOrbit

        music by The Clanned Cams

        • TJ Barke

          And their hit single; Monster!

      • kareemachan

        Crunchy….

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        Was Door County fish boil, da. More exciting, much fire.

    • Clark_Nova

      Treason, not collusion. We can’t have them shot for collusion.

  • The Wanderer

    OT, but something nice and uplifting. I have a heart filled with hate and a spleen full of bile, so I need a bit of Nice:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3_aM_s0R1U

    • therblig

      when i was in HS, our band recorded an album at a studio in South Orange and that was one of the pieces we played. the album was called:

      Music for Poets and Peasants.

      We literally sold dozens of copies, but not even a grammy nomination. it’s all just a big popularity contest. it used to be about the music.

    • stablegeniusahughes798

      I like to listen to Sibelius in the winter.

  • rocktonsam

    Everything is always a surprise to these assholes.

    • BadKitty904

      Getting caught at their incredibly stupid crimes certainly seems to be a continuing surprise to them.

      • shivaskeeper

        Caught and maybe held accountable is the surprise.

        The ultimate deflection of piss poor leaders is, “I had no idea what my subordinates were doing”.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        But Vladimir told Donald the plan was flawless!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Mostly just getting caught is the surprise.

    • shivaskeeper

      Being possibly held accountable for a change is the real surprising part.

    • Christopher Story

      “And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you damn voters.”

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    I get it now. The commission was looking for ill-eagle voters, but also those with Hispanic names. In other words, anybody with a Hispanic name is now an illegal. Mark my words, when the Trump administration starts deporting illegals, this will be part of the sting. My suggestion–if you have a last name like Fernandez, maybe you’ll want to change that to Fredrickson quickly.

    • Master Contrail Program

      That’s one way to prevent a Rubio or Cruz primary challenge.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        Excellent! Killing two birds with a single stone.

    • Christopher Story

      And Paul Ryan will fake concern for the cameras and express his surprise that so many legal residents are getting deported. “That’s not the American way, and I can assure you, the government will do everything it can to ensure this is done quieter in the future.”

    • Nockular cavity

      Guess we’re going to have to rename tortillas “liberty pancakes,” too.

      • willi0000000

        not unless they’re good with maple syrup!

        • Tetman Callis

          Flour ones can be, if you roll ’em up and dip ’em.

          • Tishalicious

            Oh my with a little churro sugar sprinkled on…

        • Malaclypse

          What are you, Canadian?!

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        Salsa will have to become “Forbidden Dance Ketchup”

      • alpacapunchbowl

        They already did that. They’re called “wraps” when you want to market them to people who don’t cotton to all that “ethnic” stuff.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Please, guys, this is so obviously not what Kobach wanted. He wanted obviously BLACK names flagged. We know it was buses of the blacks that crossed over state lines in the South and also, for some reason, New Hampshire?

    • Master Contrail Program

      LePage was right! Shifty, Lefty and D-Money are no longer confining their crimes to Maine!

    • HazooToo

      But I thought that black people were of one hive mind, and they follow the commands of their Queens, Oprah and Beyonce, and did away with useless surnames…

  • willi0000000

    thing the first: “Such “information does not, did not advance the commission’s inquiry in any way”

    no, but i bet it advanced the committee’s agenda a whole lot.

    thing the second:WTF is a “Suspense Voter”

    oh, wait . . . i bet they mean undecided.

    Ok the form-fuckup is minimal . . . but that other little bit . . . hoo-boy!

    [ and the committee’s full documents will be released to each state’s Secretary of State in a small paper sack labeled “Ashes” ]

    • HazooToo

      Means they don’t have a current address. They have one they don’t live at anymore, but haven’t gotten a response when they ask them to update.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      in TX it means that they either haven’t voted in the past 6 elections (there is a way to cure this at the polls) or their voter registration card has been returned to the county tax assessor-collector twice. my TAC has a handy thing on his website showing where suspended voters are and where non-registered voters are (based on them paying taxes, but not being a registered voter) so you can target your registration drive. usually a suspended voter results from someone moving out of state and not filing a change of address with the TAC.

    • willi0000000

      note: i was picking on the word “Suspense” . . . wholly inapropriate to substitute for “Suspended”

      that was my nit to pick . . . go find your own!

  • Ruhe

    Get Devin Nunes on this case right now! He’ll get those commission records released, but pronto!

  • OrG

    Yeah, he’s lying.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that’s also a given, lol

  • Ruhe

    Is it possible that the 50,000 (!) sexts consist of the two FBI agents sharing the names of all the illegal hispanically named voters?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Sure. That’s why Moscow Devin’s so intent on finding them.

  • kareemachan

    I’m sure it was only a coincidink that they closed it down days after Dunlap won the right in court to see paperwork from the commission he was on….

  • Relativicus

    The idea that Kobach was just flailing about in all directions without focus is literally figuratively the craziest idea I’ve heard all day.

    • willi0000000

      you are having the best day possible . . . stop reading, watching TV, listening to radio immediately and mix a stiff drink, enjoy it and go right back to bed.

      any other course of action will jeopardize this perfect day.

  • Back to The Dossier for a moment: I do love the implication that if Dems paid for it, it must be dishonest. After all, if Republicans paid for it it would certainly be dishonest.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      This point never gets emphasized enough.

      They want to short-cut to “politics, therefore biased” without stopping at “is it true or not?”

  • Opalescent Riddles

    We didn’t do it.
    OK, we did it, but there’s a good explanation.
    OK, it’s not a good explanation, but it’s no big deal anyway.
    .
    .
    .
    Look! Obamaplane! Hillarycopter!

    • Tishalicious

      And an extra +1 for Hilarycopter ^_^

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Much appreciated. Vote early, vote often ;-)

  • “Unpresidented” Linda

    There are other people who are somewhat less brown who are also here illegally. They didn’t ask the state of Massachusetts for all the Irish sounding names, did they?

    • stablegeniusahughes798

      Or Illinois for all the Eastern European sounding names. Largest Polish population outside of Warsaw…I’m suuuuuuuure they’re all here legally.

      • “Unpresidented” Linda

        I’m beginning to suspect it’s because they, IDK, white or something…

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          Right?!

      • TakingAmes

        There’s a story making the FacePlace rounds about a Polish DACA recipient who has been here for 40 years, since he was 3, is a physician now, and they’ve detained him because of two misdemeanors in his teenage years and are threatening to deport him. He doesn’t speak Polish. So that’s awesome.

      • SDGeoff3

        I had a one sided chat with the RWNJ at my last job about deportation once. I asked her why weren’t we chasing down “illegalz” from the white/blond countries like Britain, Germany, Poland… All I got was a blank stare. She went mute. No comment, just a dead expression with the jaw agape. To this day, it frightens the piss outta me.

  • BadKitty904
    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      ASH LIEBUL!

    • dshwa

      As one of my old shirts says:
      Act dumb
      Deny you did it
      Blame the flying monkeys.

    • Quercus Queen

      I do loves me a Bruce Campbell reference. :-)

      • BadKitty904

        He never fails to deliver. :0)

  • LiberalANDProud

    Voting rights. Awww, that’s cute.

  • Raan

    A fuckin’ Casablanca reference in an article about a “voter fraud committee”.

    I knew there was a reason I like this place.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      One of MANY reasons! I, myself, like the Rocky & Bullwinkle references 😂😂😂

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      And the frequent Monty Python references.

  • azeyote

    that star on the texas flag is white, and not putting a box to check that you’re the same color of thar star shows what real discrimination is – anyway we won that war so we why do they get a box –

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    When I first saw the image of the Four Obamas, I thought someone had done a terrible job drawing Speedy Gonzales. It must have been the sombrero that did it.

    • SDGeoff3

      The oddest projection from the artist is the one bearing a swastika.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Next they were going to flag everyone whose first name starts with “La-” or “De-” and last name is the name of a U.S. president, to resolve any “data discrepancies or confusion” that might result from their possibly not being white.

  • dshwa

    That commissions notes should be FOIA’d immediately, if not sooner.

    • sarafina

      I thought that guy from Maine tried that.

      • dshwa

        He sued as part of the committee, not a FOIA request.

  • Lefty Wright

    Obviously the reason the box was checked was to remind all the people with Hispanic sounding names that they needed to get out and vote on November 13, 2018.

    • Malaclypse

      I thought it was just the blah folks that were granted the extra week to turn in their ballots

  • Tetman Callis

    Having grown up in Texas (is that even possible?), I have heard my surname pronounced “Kye-yeess”. Hispanic enough, I guess, though I reckon I could pass for Gringo.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Since you are in Texas I know you have met at least one blue-eyed blonde named Gutierrez or Hernandez. And how many Anglos named Cruise used to spell it Cruz.

      • Tetman Callis

        I am not in Texas. All other points well-taken. And many’s the dark-haired Catalan beauty with blue or green eyes. Makes me weak in my weakness just to think about.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    My married last name is Chinese; I get all sorts of government stuff in Mandarin.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Dok.
    One thing that makes this so crazy is the history of the American Southwest. Just as an example I work with a woman whose family was granted land near Austin, Texas by the King of Spain. Part of the family still ranches on that land.
    I’m sure there a similar stories across Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California,and Colorado.
    She always says “My family didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us.”
    I say that to say this. Many of these Latino families have lived in Texas and been US citizens while the Anglos were fighting the 100 years war.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      That’s OK. Once Trump builds the wall, which Mexico will pay for (TM), she will be back on the other side of the border.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I can verify that in Colorado. I grew up with Latinos whose families had been given land grants by the viceroys of New Spain.

  • notaten

    Here in my hometown we have many people who have the same name, but are totally different people! For instance, I know of at least 3 Dianna Durans, one of which is a Republican (who was convicted of several felonies for using campaign funds to pay for her gambling habit). The other 2 introduce themselves as Not That Dianna.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Was she backup vocal for Duran,Duran, and Duran in the ‘80’s?

      I loathed that group Before they went commercial

  • therblig
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I should have known known it was crazy ben who drew this crap.

  • Jezzam

    Half of the people I grew up with were Rodriguez, Gonzalez or Rosales. Many with same first names. Fuck those biggots

    • Suthrnboy

      They can’t help it. Just think about it! Trump’s was up against Cruz and Rubio in the primary. They would have been flagged!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    To be fair, Ronald Williams II was only collecting demographical data for NAMBLA and Rushlimdomtours, an LLC corporation.

  • Suthrnboy

    The perverted white supremacist pedos just can’t help it. Think about it!

    Trump’s best competition in the Grabber Of Pu$$y party’s primary were two dudes with the last names of Cruz and Rubio. They chose the white guy with more baggage than Leona Helmsley over the two Hispanic-sounding contestants.

  • JustDon’tSayCamel

    “The voter is however, considered an active voter for voting purposes.”
    So many fucked-up things in that sentence.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I don’t know why we keep calling it the Voter Fraud “Commission” since it seems never to have been a Commission at all, it was just a private Kobach “Black Op” disguised as a Commission.

    • javadavis

      It’s like calling it the “Clean Sky Act” after the killing of regulations meant to reduce air pollution. Or any company named, say, “Ethical [Car Sales – or fill in the blank]” Don’t go there unless you are looking to bust someone for fraud.

    • blaid droog

      It’s called the voter
      fraud commission because the commission itself is the fraud.

  • You should ice that burn

    Why the hell is that box on the request form to begin with?

    • sarafina

      As the article said, because it is used in determining whether SPANISH LANGUAGE materials are needed.

      • You should ice that burn

        I don’t find the explanation for legitimate uses particularly convincing. In my experience sample ballots don’t automatically get sent to Texans, one has to request one, I’m sure that at the point where one requests a ballot one could stipulate which language it should be printed in. The form is to get voter data FROM the Texas sec state, not to get information TO voters. “to help with redistricting”?? This is Texas we’re talking about, the odds that the information would be used to IMPROVE the representation of people with Spanish surnames is near zero in my opinion, given the control the GOP currently enjoys at the State Capitol in Austin.
        If you ask me that check-box is far more likely to be used to facilitate discrimination than to assist citizens with Spanish surnames. Maybe I’m missing something, but it smells.

  • not a white supremacist. not a white supremacist. you’re the white supremacist.

  • Jamoche

    When I lived in Texas most of the Hispanic people I knew had families who’d been there since the state was Spanish.

  • Zyxomma

    Why not both?

  • Anyone else moderately alarmed that people can buy voter data at all? This is a thing states sell?

    • blaid droog

      This has nothing to do with voting. In Duval County/ Jacksonville, you cannot obtain any information about the ownership of a car by using the tag number. Not gonna happen, against the law doncha know. However, you can, if you want to, for thousands of dollars, buy a complete list of every car registered in the county, complete with owners name and address. I once ran a telemarketing company and we bought this list every year. So much for privacy.

  • Vacuous Virgina

    (he should probably not claim it was demographic data)

    Snark-o-licious 😂🤣😂🤣😂

  • orlaheho

    “Which actually sounds like standard operating procedure in Trumpworld. Hey, maybe the commission was both racist AND a disorganized clusterfuck!”

    And pervy. Don’t forget pervy.

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