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WOW! We asked you to send us pictures from your respective marches yesterday — and boy did you all deliver! You sent us so many good pictures from all over the country!, in fact, that I decided that a whole nother post was necessary — because if we put them all in the post from yesterday, it would be at least a mile long before you made it to our comments section (which we don’t have because we do not allow comments).

Let’s check them out, shall we?

From David at the Seattle March, who estimates that at least 5.37 billion were in attendance! That definitely seems true! YAY SEATTLE!

From Alexandra at the Chicago March!

Roz in Austin sends us this swell “He Doesn’t Even Have A Dog” sign. Which is a fair point! He does not! Although honestly I think that is for the best. I like dogs.

Susan in Portland sends us this VERY RELATABLE sign.

And this very appropriate bible quote sign.

Michelle from San Diego reports that turnout was great and even their female Chief of Police showed up!

Jennifer and a friend attended the DC March in these VERY STYLISH Wonkette hats! Get some here!

Lisa in Sonoma, California, made this very wonky sign with the help of a few glasses the traditional wine of that region.

Meredith in Fresno — which she reminds us is RED country — sends us this awesome pic. It’s a family affair!

Cynthia in Atlanta sends us this pic from their Power to The Polls rally, which featured SAMANTHA MICELLI, aka PHOEBE HALLIWELL aka Alyssa Milano as a speaker!

Tracy in Nashville sent this one in! I am very much enjoying the combo of the “Jesus Saves” and “Send Nudes” posters.

Mindi from the LA March sends this adorable pic — she wrote and made the sign herself! Good girl!

Suzanne who attended the Philly march sent us these, one of which is an adorable dog.

And last but definitely not least, here are some glorious signs that my friend, AV Club Editor Katie Rife (read all of her things and follow her on Twitter because she is the best and we are your #squadgoals), texted me while I was all alone typing in my apartment and listening to Claudine Clark’s Party Lights on repeat.

For all of you going today, have a great and cathartic time protesting Orange Hitler. May your signs be clever and your weather be tolerable. For those of you who aren’t — this is your OPEN THREAD! For everyone collectively, please remember that Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that you can tip us here!

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  • BadKitty904

    ‘Jesus Saves’ and ‘Send Nudes’ posters” = MERCA!!1!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Being as totally unaware as he is (and not being a politician), do you think the importance of this even registers with the orange one?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • kareemachan

      I am SO stealing this!

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Do IT!

    • Shrieking Harpy

      From the Thirty-Six Views of Mount Stoogey.

  • weejee
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You married well.

    • Crank Tango

      clock for m nectarine candy, why that doesn’t make any sense!

      • OutOfOrbit

        Time Four My Orange [Starburst(?)]

        • Daniel

          Time for m peach mint.

          • Wonder

            Everything is cyclical. Thousands of years of human civilization, and we’ve returned to hieroglyphics

        • Naytch

          McCarthy knows he only likes pink and red!!

  • Wuulf

    I read that the L.A. march was bigger than the population of Wyoming.

  • Eileen Besse

    I CAN’T EVEN explain how wonderfully happy I am with all of us!!!!!!

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Cat like an Egyptian!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Fifth adult film actress found dead in the past three months. It would be irresponsible not to speculate that Trump is murdering them.

    • OutOfOrbit

      and all with drugs (poison?) … right up Putin’s alley

    • Raan

      Trump’s not murdering them.

      He’s getting Putin to do it for him. He doesn’t like to get his hands dirty.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      lol, that was the first thing I thought when I saw that earlier

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Amy!

      Her expression is perfect.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “He doesn’t even have a dog”. Trump’s aversion to pets (and all living things, to be fair) is one of his most damning attributes. Well, that and the racism, sexual predation, larceny, incest urges, and tragic hairstyle.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      And the narcissism. And stupidity. And unearned sense of entitlement. But besides that…

      • HooverVilles

        Bad the projection of all his bad traits onto others.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

      I’ve known people who grew up on farms that don’t believe in having animals in the house (my dad among them), but they all like other people’s pets. I can’t imagine him having any sort of positive interaction with an animal.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Ten years ago my own mother, typical of old-school Mexicans, would’ve burst a blood vessel from apoplexy at the thought of a dog in the house, or even worse, on the couch. She’s since fallen in love with Molly and cooks chicken treats for her.

        • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

          My parents pet-sit for my sister sometimes, and he likes her dogs and is fine with them in the house. There’s just something stuck in his brain that prohibits him from having his own full time pet.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Weirdly, Hitler loved his dogs but obviously hated people.

      Has anyone been able to determine what species of roadkill is sitting on Trump’s dome?

    • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

      This is how I imagine all animals reacting to him anyway. They always know.
      https://media.giphy.com/media/iTCNyaEpsEg5G/source.gif

  • lucidamente

    I saw this on the Twitter: anybody recognize them?

    https://twitter.com/commiegirl1/status/954819201100865542

    • Baconzgood

      A handsome family.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      For providing our wonketsweetheart with a perch, Shypixel will be spared, come the revolution, when the rest of the patriarchy is lined up against the wall.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      That beautiful child in the pink hat is the once and future Queen President of the Re-United States.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I prefer Bohumil Hrabal’s version: The Delighted States of America.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          That’s a good one also too.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB
  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    I love the fact that the kids are getting involved too. When I was a kid, and saw my first presidential election season on TV (1988), I made my own protest sign out of dot-matrix printer paper and wore it around the house. Remember that stuff with the alternating color bars and the perforated edges with the holes in them? This stuff:

    http://www.appleforms.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/small_image/600x/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/0/2/02125_1.gif

    I wrote on it in Crayola markers: “Dan Quayle, you’re for the birds!”

    Oh, so witty was I at the tender age of four. OK, one, technically. (Grr, I hate having a leap birthday and sucking at math.)

    Dukakis didn’t win in ’88, but I got to trot it out for the ’92 election, and Clinton did. Knowing the way my family saves everything, that sign is probably in a Rubbermaid bin somewhere in somebody’s basement.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I was in elementary school in 1992 and made a Clinton sign for my desk, in part to irk my Republican teacher. I also made some Dan Quayle stationery for him, which read “Frome the deske of Dan Quayle.”

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Haha. That’s great.

        When I went to the mall to see Santa that year, I read off my list and asked him to send a “Mr. Potatoe Head” to the White House, “but the real ones that are spelled the right way.” My mother told me on the way out “you shouldn’t talk politics with Santa.” I told her that it didn’t have anything to do with politics. If someone is going to have a big job like the vice president, he needs to practice his spelling. ETA: and that this was why he didn’t win.

        And then, the covfefe began.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        A rebel smartass from birth. Thank your parents for me.

  • I hate that I’ll not be able to attend but the Vegas event is lit.

  • Fartknocker

    Thank you for this Robyn.

    • Baconzgood

      It is happy nice times.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Fuck off White House.

    https://twitter.com/WhiteHouse/status/954583485662007296

    Claire McCaskill introduced a bill to pay the troops already and McConnell rejected it.

    https://twitter.com/nowthisnews/status/954825373572726784

    • DrBigHead

      Did a quick search at CNN and was not able to find mention of this. Why does that surprise me?

    • Shrieking Harpy

      Of course he did.

    • SayItWithWookies

      This shithead has been saying a shutdown would be a good thing and would fix stuff (chain of causality is MIA, but that’s irrelevant) and his son Ewick was on tv saying how awesome this is and yet for some reason he’s not taking credit for it. Assmouth is just being his usual sissy self and shirking responsibility because he feels he can blame others.

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    I hope these marches keep happening even when Trump is out of office. The unity and togetherness is remarkable. I’d hate to see Gorbachev’s warning about America after the cold war end up happening to the Resistance, that when the great enemy is gone we’re left with no one to fight but ourselves. Trump is the opitomy of patriarchy and a dumbass but there will still be patriarchy, racism, sexism, to fight against, even without him. Not just in America but all over the world.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I wish I could have joined the marchers in Hartford. I could see them from my home. Big crowd. YOOGE. Probably a trillion people (i.e. two trillion pussy ears).

  • Baconzgood

    Way to go ladies. I wanted to go to the one here but I felt that my 2 sons and would be a bit out of place.

    • jowgajen

      All my pics at LA March are full of menz.

      • Baconzgood

        We had no wominz to accompany us.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Should have asked me. I would have discreetly told yinz the sekrit hanshake.

          • Baconzgood

            At least we thought about women all day.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Actually, when we went down to breakfast at the Gould Hotel (Seneca Falls, NY landmark, and proud supporter of the March) there were at first about two dozen women and just two of us testosteros. I shook hands with the other brave interloper.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            Speaking as a womenz, I haven’t been under the impression that uterine challenged humans weren’t welcome, just the ethically challenged are the be eschewed. Plus, we need all hands on deck to eat all the sammiches.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Why? Intersectionality, allies, woke men, all that.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/AG_Conservative/status/955083518308241408
    Democrats were shut out of all talks but this asshole knew that didn’t he?

    • FDRliberal

      The real point of the ‘tax reform bill’.

      https://twitter.com/IronStache/status/955124646566821893

      • JoeChristmas

        I’ve predicted this kickback scheme since seeing the clown car in Dec ’15 and thinking all one of them had to do is win FL and OH.

        Grassroots over money.
        Truth over propaganda.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Randy Bryce has a fighting chance to unseat Lyin Ryan. He can use any ameros we can scrounge up.

    • DrBigHead

      Of course he knows it . Truth means nothing to these assholes. Not a single one of them.

    • is that gonna be the talking point? lol

  • 3FingerPete

    Needs more shark.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Millions of women marched all over the country yesterday, so we interviewed some Trump supporters to find out their opinion about it.

      • DrBigHead

        I hope you get a residual payment when the NYT uses this as a headline

        • Claire

          Gℴℴgle is giving 98 dollars every hour to do some small tasks on the laptop .. Work only for only few hours daily & spend more time with your circle of relatives … any individual can also do it…last Tuesday I purchased a great Chrysler after I been earnin $16200 this five weeks .it sounds the extraordinary approach but you may no longer forgive yourself if you do not check out it.!fe741s:=>=>> http://GoogleNewFirstOpportunity/earn/hourly ♥i♥♥♥o♥♥z♥f♥♥♥n♥♥v♥♥♥c♥♥h♥♥♥m♥x♥♥m♥♥h♥♥h♥l♥♥♥w♥♥d♥♥q♥♥h♥♥♥d♥♥a♥♥j♥♥k♥a♥o♥i:::::!ge012r:lhu

          • William

            Karen, Karen, Karen. If you make 16200 a week, you don’t drive a Chrysler. Seriously? Is that what foreign bot programmers think American opulence is all about? You were slightly more amusing when you thought we all wanted Land Rovers.

          • HooverVilles

            Where’s Lori and whatever happened to the Rover Land Range Rover.

          • Me not sure

            She had an unfortunate accident while entering data and driving off-road in Panama.

          • HooverVilles

            Oh, so that’s what happened to her.

          • SDGeoff3

            Good

          • Me not sure

            Takata airbag.

          • SDGeoff3

            I like the way you think.

        • Tammy

          Gℴogle paying every one 99 green bucks/h to complete esay jobs on home computer .. Easily labor for few hours in a whole day & stay greater time with your own loved ones … Any person can also get this simple job…on Wednesday I bought a great new Chevroletafter just earnin $21683 this past four weeks .it seems the easiest-work but you may not forgive yourself if you don’t check out it.!me481n:∬∬∬ http://GoogleOnlineEduUpdateWorkFromHome/find/jobs ♥r♥♥♥f♥♥♥c♥♥q♥c♥♥y♥p♥♥♥f♥o♥♥♥z♥♥y♥v♥♥♥l♥♥♥v♥f♥u♥♥z♥d♥o♥l♥u♥♥z♥v♥♥h♥x:::::!kx471r:lhuhu

      • JoeChristmas

        Well, at least bothsiderism is dead.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          and both sides are to blame for its death

          (dammit! it must have been only mostly dead)

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Reinforce white male privilege with this one weird trick!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “Thousands march in big liberal cities. Rest of American still standing with Trump. Dems shutdown government.”- NY Times

      • Impatient

        Not a joke? Serious? I can’t even stand to look at the NYTimes any more. So I’ll have to depend on others to tell me if this is real.

        • HooverVilles

          Same.

        • “M”

          Recently found out Maggie Haberman’s mother runs DJT’s PR firm. So there’s … that.

          • Impatient

            My SMH muscles just broke. The extent of all the fuckery is truly incredible.

            This really is the America Second brigade.

    • Bright Bart

      I heard the women were marching to support Trumps many achievements in office, like pooping and playing golf.

    • William

      Interesting Samantha Bee episode. Ever notice the “working class” Joe lunch bucket, hardhat, Carhartt clad dude interviewed at diners is almost always white? As if persons of color or women don’t have jobs.

  • Shrieking Harpy

    Anyone else here think that women are intelligent, witty, thoughtful, determined, tough, and wonderful?

    • But then there’s Michele Bachmann…

      • the exception that proves the rule, I suppose.

      • Shrieking Harpy

        Assuming she’s human, that is.

      • HooverVilles

        And Joni Ernst, Sarah Palin, Michelle Fiore, Christine (I am not a witch) O’Donnell, and …

        There’s stupid everywhere.
        Sigh!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, now that you mention it…

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      The liberal ones. Not Foxbots or Trumpanistas.

      • Shrieking Harpy

        Okay, okay. But still . . . Amid all this trumpshit, I’m feeling kinda, sorta optimistic.

        • Daniel

          This one just came out of the swamp.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Oh, I am too. In a perfect world, this would lead those Foxbots to actually wake up and smell the bullshit. But at least we know we’ve still got some Serena Joys to fight against in addition to the deplorable tiki bros and their Shithead Shutdown cult leader.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      And we vote. Except let’s do a little education of our white suburban cisters (sic).

  • The most beautiful thing about the marches and rallies was the mutigenerational, multiracial, and multigender nature of them.

    • gallbladder

      Here in Calgary, entire families were out for the event. It was truly wonderful to see.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        We appreciate it. Bigly. 😎 Especially since your guy in charge is a feminist himself who’s supporting the cause.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Meanwhile the New York Times has a story up about how the marches exclude minorities.

      https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/954858610735177729

      • theCryptofishist

        Okay, I’m not going to read the times… Was there anything worthy in the entire article?

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Nope.

  • Shibusa
    • DrBigHead

      American Exceptionalism at its finest.

      • gallbladder

        If this is its finest

    • Mystery_Poster

      How much of that is he taking credit for?

  • Daniel
  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • gallbladder

      The fuck am I looking at?

      • Phried Ω

        Plastic spoons to serve caviar with onion accompaniment.

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          Please! I only serve caviar on spoons made from kitten tongues because I’m classy like that.

    • The Very Stable Librarian

      This is a hill to die on???!!!!!1!!

      • Daniel

        Pretty sure it’s a joke, but still one that illustrates the fakeness of the Trump clan.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Crank Tango

      It sorta warms the ole cockles to see rich dicks get stiffed tho.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Imma give them this one. That is in actual fact appalling.

      • Raan

        Seriously. At least get some wooden spoon or something else non-reactive.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        If I ever had the misfortune to find myself at a Trump property, I’d probably stay away from the seafood.

    • ariel_gee_398

      This crowd deserves whatever overpriced shit sandwich they get: https://twitter.com/riotwomennn/status/955113480952188928

      • Daniel

        What a ghastly shit hole of tat.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        “Let’s to the Time Warp again!”

    • SayItWithWookies

      The nouveau riche are scandalized. As for old money — well, they’re not at Mar-a-Lago.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Its worse then the Bowling Green Massacre.

    • chortlingdingo

      I’m traumatized by those hashtags.

    • HooverVilles

      Wait! WHAT?

  • Catstro, Very Stable Girther

    I’m absolutely loving the pictures and reports from the marches and rallies. I had FOMO, but I definitely made the right choice to stay home and recuperate. As my aunt reminded me, there’s a big march coming up in Raleigh on February 10th (the NAACP moral march), and we’re making it a family affair (my aunt, mother-in-law, and my dad). One of the few high points of this, the darkest timeline, has been coming together with our whole family to fight this thing.

    • Shrieking Harpy

      No snark: your family shows what “family values” really means.

  • Baconzgood

    I’d be proud to eat a sammich that any of these women make.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Because of course he did.

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/louisville-area-assistant-police-chief-allegedly-instructed-recruit/story?id=52473136

    A former assistant police chief for a Kentucky police department allegedly instructed a police recruit to shoot black minors if he were to catch them smoking marijuana, according to court documents.

    In an Aug. 31 letter to Prospect, Kentucky Mayor John Evans, Jefferson County Attorney Mike O’Connell wrote that he has “serious concerns” about the then-assistant police chief Todd Shaw, who at the time was acting chief for the city of Prospect, a suburban city in the Louisville metropolitan area.

    When senior Jefferson County prosecutors met with members of the Louisville Metro Police Department, they reviewed “highly disturbing racist and threatening Facebook private messages” Shaw exchanged with a former LMPD police recruit, the letter states. The prosecutors were there to conduct an investigation to determine whether to file criminal against Shaw, O’Connell said.

    The prosecutors found the messages while investigating a case in which Shaw allegedly tried to assist another officer by improperly accessing the National Crime Information Center database, his attorney in the criminal case, Nick Mudd, told ABC News. Prosecutors have dropped efforts file criminal charges against Shaw in that case, Mudd said, adding that he “did nothing wrong.”

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      He seems nice.

      In the Facebook messages, Shaw and the recruit discussed a scenario for the recruit’s training in which he had to write a paper on the “right thing to do” if he were to come across three juveniles who were smoking marijuana, O’Connell wrote. The recruit appears to have come to Shaw for advice, telling him, “I’m so confused about this paper,” in the message, dated Oct. 5, 2016.

      “F— the right thing,” Shaw allegedly wrote. “If black shoot them.”

      Shaw allegedly made other “racially threatening statements,” which included instructions on “how to handle the juveniles’ parents,” according to the letter.

      “…if mom is hot then f— her,” Shaw allegedly wrote. “…if dad is hot then handcuff him and make him s— my d—.”

      Shaw allegedly continued, “Unless daddy is black…Then shoot him…”

      • not a racist. not a racist. you’re the racist.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          “You’re racist for pointing out racism”

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          You called him racist. Now he’s going to join a Nazi group.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            The New York Times wants to know when they can interview him.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            They want to know how he feels about Trump’s accomplishments and why he hates the productive parts of the country.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Not just racist, but a dumb racist committing it to paper, making it evidence.(!)

        I’m convinced more and more the irrational, self destructive actions from the far right are meant to melt our brains in a “does not compute” loop.

  • Raan

    I’m going to grab a nap, but before I do, you know what’s surprisingly good on a lunch meat sandwich? A little sliced strawberry.

    • altleftjohn

      Were you out of canned clams?

      • gallbladder

        You MONSTER!!!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Surprise! Miss Lindsay says he will vote for the McConnell proposal.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Is that the reopen the government for 2 weeks proposal?

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        3 I think. And when a reporter told him that Schumer doesn’t trust Trump, Graham was a good boy and said many senators don’t trust Schumer.

        • Martini A, very stable genius

          Oh good. I wouldn’t want him to not be an asshole for too long. He’s worked so long at.

  • calliecallie
  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Well, here’s something, a news story about a (probable) Dumbass supporter that you might actually enjoy.
    https://twitter.com/HonoredSpirit/status/955092387566706691?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E3

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      The site seems to be down.

    • gallbladder

      “She said he’s not a racist, he just likes to do these things to get a rise out of people.”

      Well I’m certainly satisfied!

      • TJ Barke

        Not a racist, just a stupid asshole, that’s way better.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Biggest surprise of this story: he has a girlfriend. Please, Dude, go back to making shitty comments to 12 year olds on Call of Duty

      • Arolpin

        Most expected part of the story: He’s a registered sex offender.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You should meet my 60-yr-old cousin Eric. If you saw him, you would think that no woman on Planet Earth would touch him with a 10-foot pole, but he has been married (and divorced) twice, and he always finds girlfriends – they are always older than him and alcoholic drug addicts and have been married 3 or 4 times and have arrest records similar to his own, but still, they are women and they have what passes for relationships with him because he buys them booze and drugs.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      “At another point he yelled, ‘You’re assaulting me!’ because I was following him,” Christain said.

      Not surprised a racist moron doesnt know what words mean.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I can’t get to that URL – it says “Service Unavailable” due to “maintenance downtime or capacity problems.”

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        Yup, they probably didn’t expect national volume on their local-news servers. Check archive link that kind Wonker posted below.

  • spangled

    lol the “ladybird for best picture” sign. I love it.

    • Ling Ling

      I like “Men talk less”

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’m not sure… “Interrupt less” would work better for me.

        • Ling Ling

          Uncertain either goal attainable.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Its all good, I just talk over them. If they complain, I remind them THEY interrupted first.
            But it makes things like way more stressful than the need to be.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Sunrise at Monument Mountain, This is where I go to escape the never-ending news. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4a21fefa9a1b9e081ba4ffb650acde7eeac39591cba754b426f7757bcbf5b77.jpg

    • C4TWOMAN

      I have one of those, but it’s a much smaller mountain.
      Actually it’s just a big hill.
      Millions of years ago it was a volcano….
      But it’s got a great view!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Oh hey me too wait no i dont i live in illinois

        • C4TWOMAN
          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Hah- yeah I’ve seen that. An interesting thing about Illinois, though, is that it’s a plateau, about 700 ft above sea level. If you’re driving in from Indiana along I-72, there’s a point where you’re at the ridge of the Indiana plateau, and the landscape drops down over many miles into whatever river bed is near the border there, and you can see the state of Illinois filling the horizon. It’s very beautiful and dramatic, and one of my favorite travel vistas.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        We’ve got some of those in Missouri. They were mountains hundreds of millions of years ago, but the highest point in Missouri today is Taum Sauk Mountain, which is 1772 feet high. In Colorado they would call that a hill. In the Himalayas it would be a road bump. The view from the top of Taum Sauk is pretty, but it is not exactly breath-taking. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1fcf9e2b5baa89f45353769bfe6f61828cd2924d1c9106b536db2be9b0b36ac2.jpg

        • C4TWOMAN

          It’s very pretty. I have a similar view on the top of my extinct cinder cone, except there’s a mountain range on the horizon.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I go to the Katy Trail at Rocheport, MO. There are limestone bluffs on the east side of the trail, with nesting eagles and Native American pictographs, and on the west is the Missouri River just a-rollin’ along, oblivious to petty human problems.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fab600bd3533fa112790f30cbb04592f66497b1009f422f8510a1186a58ed06e.jpg

  • Swampay

    My favorite local sign: “Treat our planet like the Earth, not Uranus”

  • gotta love the “Democrats want the Yam to fail” talking point.

    he’s proven time and time again that he can fail all by himself.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Of course we want him to fail. His ideas and policies are atrocious. I never understood that argument of : “Oh, he’s the president now so we should all get behind him and want him to succeed.” Fuck that.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      This from the party who tried to undermine Obama at every fucking turn?

    • Daniel

      Also, yes. Yes they do want him to fail because they vehemently oppose his “policies”. Those policies are, by and large, racist, sexist, homo, trans and islamo phobic, kleptocratic and corrupt.

      Yes. He should fail.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Trump fails, America wins.

    • Crank Tango
      • Ling Ling

        The party of “no” – how is that working out?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        How’s that going for ya, Yert?

    • OrG

      Considering that his agenda is to destroy anything that’s good, yeah, I DO want him to fail.

    • Daniel

      This talking point annoys me because it again illustrates how pervasive the idea of politics as sport is. For Democrats to want Trump to succeed they would have to not sincerely believe the things they claim to believe, they must only be saying them to win elections. Then, when they lose, they must forget they said those things: they weren’t winning things to say, so they can be discarded, and the Democrats can treat the Republican president they opposed as their guy now, somehow accepting that they need to help him do all the things they opposed or else be seen as poor losers.
      This is one of the worst elements of political coverage I see in US media- this diminishing of policy and politics to the level of games with no real effects on people’s lives. Not something to take too seriously, and certainly not something to be sincere about.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Sorry I couldn’t snap photos at the LA march, but I love these from my hometown (Pittsburgh’s march is today)–steel nasty, indeed:

    https://twitter.com/rsp21/status/955166842703794177

    https://twitter.com/theinclinepgh/status/955163983660699649

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “If they don’t give you a seat @ the table, bring a parking chair.” = absolut Picksburgh.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    a) why Roz no say “hallo” to Calliope Jane and myself?

    b) the best sign at City Hall (where the photo was from…we marched to the Capitol and did even more speechifying) was someone who had a framed photo of Mueller.

    c) there were too many white boys on the mic at City Hall. CM Flannigan and I were very annoyed and all, “where’s Ruthie Foster?!” and when someone asked him to talk about SB4, he was all, “but I is a white boy person…?”

    d) lady from JOLT was awesome with a side of tots. my former state rep–still a rep, but I moved districts; but I did get to vote in the election she won by 4 votes back in 2010–was phenomenal. Wendy was there. Sheriff Valdez was there. Andrew White was there. it was some cool stuff, but there were still too many white boys.

    • Resistor Radio

      Awesome with a side of tots? I am literally eating tater tots right now. Awesome!

      • data_ninja

        Now I want tater tots, dammit.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        “peas gib me sum tots.

        gator pears,
        Calliope Jane”

  • Resistor Radio

    Another attempted swatting in Kansas, this one ended better. But they have no clue why this family was targeted or who made the call.
    http://www.kansas.com/news/local/crime/article194891554.html

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Can they please stop calling it a prank? Its not a prank, its something that normally gets people killed. But its a good thing the police remembered the other swatting call before barging in and shooting everyone.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It is many things, but it is definitely not a prank. One could even call this a form of libel. Imagine if you were Swatted and someone reported to the police that your son had killed your spouse, and 20 years from now that son wants to run for public office. You can bet their opponent would dig up that false police report and use it in a defamatory ad.

      • (attempted) homicide by cop seems much more appropriate.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I think of it as being similar to hiring a hit man to kill someone, except no money changes hands. Contract killing results in charges of “conspiracy to commit first degree murder”, so I would think similar charges might apply to Swatting.

        • Phried Ω

          I think that or assault is an appropriate charge. Wire fraud if the call is made out of state and many other felonies might start to curb this.

  • Resistor Radio

    Ah, so douchebag murderous swatter also busted for swatting woman in Calgary 6 days before the Wichita swatt. I swear to fucking god. What the hell.
    http://www.kansas.com/news/local/crime/article194272244.html

    • Angela Ruzzo

      They are bullies. Bullies are cowards, so they love shit like swatting where they can be a bully anonymously and not risk personal danger. Bullies are also stupid, so it probably never occurs to them they can be tracked down and arrested. There is no privacy today, so what the fuck are they thinking? The answer is they aren’t thinking, because they are stupid bullies.

  • little miss high and mighty

    Quick German news:
    SPD rank and File (minus the insurgent Jusos- who are correct) have voted to go back into Sondierung (politicky negotiations behind closed doors) to work out a semi sell out to the CDU/CSU (union) and :
    Mascha (maria alyokhia) from Pussy Riot Labor Prison Fame is appearing with a band and subversive poetry and action tonight in Muich Muffathalle
    Storm is moving out but ut is cold and windy tonight here out in the countryside

    • Angela Ruzzo

      And how is the strudel? I can’t read German news without hearing about the delicious strudel. Sorry, I don’t mean to disparage your news, but I have a one-track mind, and whenever I read German news it is the first thing I think of.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Thanks for asking, Pisana
        we asked Sister A— (our strudel expert) who ain’t talking family secret (nuns are sneaky like that) so we found our own dang recipe- authentic says.
        1/3 cup lukewarm water (80 ml/80 g)
        ITabespoon+1/2 teaspoon neutral tasting veg oil (15 g)
        1/2 teaspoon vinegar (or lemon juice)
        1/8 teaspoon salt nepal or else fine sea salt)
        145 grams GOOD flour (1 cup) sifted
        1/2 teaspoon veg oi (or butter is better) for brushing top of the dough
        Filling:
        buttered bread rumbs (enough of them mixed with brown sugar, cinnamon and soaked raisins)
        Mix the dough kneed it then rola dn stretch as thinly as possible (Alpine secret)
        Let it stand a few miutes ok 10-15) then brush top and bake it medium and check it all the time- Germans and Austrians are touchy.
        Don’t let anybody know what you are baking til it’s time to eat it.
        Guten Apatit

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Tausend dank!

    • the Jusos have stopped debating dress code and are correct for once? a clear sign of the apocalypse.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Just a bunch of young whippersnappers up there in Berlin snapping their whips.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Sure Trump’s got a subpoena. It’s about five sizes too small to be a regular poena.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      LOL! You made me howl and I scared the sleeping cats. Thanks!

    • Daniel

      What happened next?
      Well in Prornville they say
      The Gropenfuhrer’s poena
      Grew three sizes that day
      And all the stars in Pornville
      Took the money he’d pay
      And agreed (with fingers crossed)
      To just go away.

  • Thiazin Red

    I’m sort of following the score of the football game while I work. Literally the only reason is because Jacksonville winning would make Jason Mendoza, a fictional character on The Good Place, happy and I would like Jason to be happy.

    • peregrin

      Don’t you mean Jake Jortles?

      I want the Jags to win partly because of Jason and largely because I hate the Patriots.

    • OrG

      I don’t care about Jacksonville winning, I want the cheatriots to lose.

  • Resistor Radio

    You guys, sort to keep bombing the OT with this shitshow of a story, but the police shot a man dead who didn’t have a phone in his hands, while at that moment the goddamn swatter was talking to the police about his hostages and his murder.
    Repeat, alleged hostage taker on phone with police, police shoot “hostage taker” who isn’t talking on th phone.
    http://www.kansas.com/news/local/crime/article192846389.html

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      https://media.tenor.com/images/587622baf8e4a90eaeb9fb9418b6c358/tenor.gif

      The cops involved in that should all be fired. How do they not realize something is screwed up there?

      • Resistor Radio

        Right? I understand that shit happens fast, but at some point there had to be the communication “suspect on phone with dispatch now”

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Doesnt SWAT have trained hostage negotiators on their team? Shouldn’t dispatch put that person on the phone with them instead of someone in the 911 office who most likely is paid minimum wage? Nothing against people making minimum wage but for some situations like this you need experts.

    • phoenix00

      Asked why Finch was shot on the porch while apparently not holding a phone while the hoax caller was talking to a 911 dispatcher, Wichita Police Chief Gordon Ramsay said Tuesday evening that was a difficult question to answer.

      “Unfortunately we don’t have telepathy yet,” he added.

      BUT YOU DO HAVE EYES AND BRAINS?????!!!!!!!

  • Thiazin Red

    Don’t know about Ladybird though, everything I’ve seen about it makes me think I would find it totally insufferable.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      It does look like some hipster Wes Anderson/Noah Baumbauch monstrosity.

      • Thiazin Red

        God I hate Noah Baumbauch movies. Squid and the Whale was the fucking worst.

        • theCryptofishist

          That’s sad, because irl Squids and Whales are soo cool.

    • Resistor Radio

      Same.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s the usual canard that teenage women don’t get along with their mothers who are universally evil and abusive. It kinda gets teenage women (outside their relationships with their mothers) correct, but it’s absolutely awful about the mother. I kinda hated it.

    • wait! what?

      The best part was the priest-coach taking over the theater production.

  • Me not sure

    I used to admire the Scandinavian countries and then I saw this. WTF! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/125d911f12bb5e872da07f4c67d5b95e353e9a5e1ce502f0a7ac82d799915873.jpg

    • David Rodger

      The label says it’s “American flavour”.

      • Me not sure

        As it would.

      • theCryptofishist

        Made from real Americans! Cool! Take that, Soylent Green!

      • Shan

        I’m partial to the Pittsburgh kind.

        • Resistor Radio

          Oh I’m glad you said something cause I was gonna say “Shan!”

          • Shan

            *snicker*

      • TootsStansbury

        American long pig?

        • Daniel

          Once I managed to accidentally convince an entire school I’d eaten a human thigh.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        This is available in my local supermarché. I think it’s got at least 12% American in it, by law. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4717f5db0e138df0bf3e4900cf6723b9a8b628b4889cbcf5394c861f9e98fd8.jpg

      • SDGeoff3

        I always wondered, when I read “flavour”, is that fla-VOOR?

    • Baconzgood

      What’s this about bacon?

      • Shan

        It’s…squeezable!

      • little miss high and mighty

        get on this fast, Bac- bet its cheap- (novelty tryout month)

      • Me not sure

        I honestly can’t answer that.

    • BadKitty904
    • spangled

      Pretty sure this is a war crime

    • Bobathonic

      I would expect that at my Merkin salad bar.

      • Me not sure

        Actual restaurant name. I kid you not.

    • TootsStansbury

      Say, if you mixed that stuff and Cheese Whiz you could have quite the mess-free squeezewich.

      • TootsStansbury

        Or you could do a modern cuisine with a spray of the bacon in a decorative swoosh, topped with a Cheeto, on the same plate a swoosh of Cheese Whiz topped with a pork rind, like yin and yang or Tr*mp and his poop.

      • Me not sure

        Squeezewich! You need to trademark that now ($$$), given the direction the country is moving in.
        “Hey, Honey, sqeeze me out a sammich!”

    • SayItWithWookies

      We’re losing the extruded meat products race — to Swedes! The rest of the world is laughing at us because we got caught flat-footed by this Swedish pork product in a plastic squeeze bottle. Is this making America great again, Assmouth? Is it?! Fail. Sad.

      • Me not sure

        “Mister President, we must let there be an extruded meat product gap!”

    • MANGO CRIMES

      “Amerikansk Smak!”

    • SDGeoff3

      Bacon jam has become a hipster item in our Locally Sourced Artisinal Brussel Sprout Burger Joints in these parts. If you were raised in a Swedish-American family, Miracle Whip and celery salt are dietary staples. So, in my alleged mind, Swedish Squeez Bacon is evolution.

      • Me not sure

        So…what part of a pig is it sqeezed out of?

        • SDGeoff3

          I’m thinking nostrils.

          • Me not sure

            Whew!

  • Jamoche

    https://twitter.com/drhonor/status/954914849024303104
    Thread: 100 years worth of photos of presidents working at their desks. And one who isn’t.

    • Daniel

      There’s part of me that enjoys that Trump is so hated he inspires this level of pettiness in people. It’s rather lovely how no shit, no matter how small, that melting basketball pulls is entirely overlooked by his critics.

    • Thiazin Red

      Having the picture of FDR be him organizing what looks like a stamp collection kind of detracts from the message.

      • SayItWithWookies

        He fought the Nazis and the Japanese, got us out of the Depression, came up with the social programs that keep millions out of poverty today — hell, I’ll take it as a given that he was probably pretty busy.

        • Thiazin Red

          Yes, and I’m sure there are many pictures of him working at the desk. Its just funny that the one picture they chose to include is him clearly not working.

        • little miss high and mighty

          Did it all seated in a wheelchair

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Cool pix. Damn, that Nixon guy was messy, though.

      • SayItWithWookies

        That’s just his enemies list.

  • Duckworth called the Yam “Cadet Bone Spurs” on the Senate floor.

    • Daniel

      I eagerly await his dimwitted offspring trying to insult her on Twitter.

      • Phried Ω

        Along the lines of “won’t stand up for our vets” attack ad.

      • efoveks

        The only color he sees is green, and it’s not Army green!

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        He won’t because he’s a pussy.

      • and get their asses kicked.

    • Ling Ling

      Much feisty. Such player. Big wow.

    • BadKitty904

      Now, THAT’S a Dem. Calling it “bullshit” when it’s bullshit.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      He would still lose to her in an ass kicking contest.

      • she’s from Chicagoland. that would be worse than the Bowling Green massacre.

        • gallbladder

          Never Forget!

      • Ling Ling

        Charity cage match!

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Trudeau/Brazeau, American Style but with a reverse outcome of the Andy Kaufman match.

    • amrak63

      Hmmm…didn’t the last Democratic president used to be a senator from Illinois?

  • MANGO CRIMES
    • MANGO CRIMES

      I haven’t even read the article yet, I just can’t get over that first line.

    • DrBigHead

      I’m thinkin’ PULITZER!

    • Resistor Radio

      This Dan Zak fellow has got a way with words. Let’s all subscribe to his newsletter!

    • BadKitty904

      Evan? Dok? C’mon, you guys, ‘fess up!

    • MANGO CRIMES
      • gallbladder

        Now THAT’S political theater.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Derpbooke

      • Resistor Radio

        *vomits*
        No. Just, no.

      • Courser_Resistance

        And people pay good, cash Ameros to watch this…

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        …and all the dicks went limp.

        • Daniel

          Stormy, Stormy everywhere…

        • MANGO CRIMES

          if you read the article, it does not sound like many people were there for anything more than the novelty value.

    • Courser_Resistance

      It’s truly a horrifying tale of… I didn’t finish it.

      ETA: She was also hawking her porno DVDs and promoting herself as the director. Ahhhhhhhhh!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0f354e75bc18fe614c9f508557c8a8f0043022f27fb6e763a5db4ecb6d013b97.gif

    • TootsStansbury

      Its like a combination of Hunter S. Thompson and Carl Hiaasen.

      • Phried Ω

        but without the mirth.

      • Courser_Resistance

        A step into something *just* on the other side of our twisted reality. I mean, John Watters, Frank Zappa, they got nuthin’ on the surreality of daily existence right now

    • Gigglesnort

      It has gotten so weird, real life seems like parody, and vice-versa.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      “It’s crazy how one moment can overshadow 15 years of work,” she finally said, running her sparkly purple fingernails over some DVDs in front of her. “I directed all these movies. I know it’s porn, but they aren’t ‘one, two, three, f—.’ These are serious.”

      • MANGO CRIMES

        If I was going to quote mine from that article, I’d have to copy-paste damn near the entire thing.

        Someone mentioned HST before; this is some gonzo journalism alright. I freaking love it.

        • Martini A, very stable genius

          I have to admit, by the end I was feeling really sad for her. What do strippers do when they age out of the business? Even famous (infamous?) ones.

          • MANGO CRIMES

            She … actually sounds like she does a ton of stuff?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Dickens wishes he could have started a book this way.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        It was the breast of times, it was the cursed of times….

    • MANGO CRIMES

      It’s worth going to the author’s twitter feed to read about the parts he left out.

      https://twitter.com/MrDanZak

  • sosuume
    • Resistor Radio

      *kisses fingers*

    • MANGO CRIMES

      damn, we posted that near-simultaneously

      • Resistor Radio

        According to Cosmo, that’s th best way to- oh, wait, that’s not what we’re talking about.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          I dunno, I’d like to hear this…

          • gallbladder

            Me as well. Twice.

        • Phried Ω

          or act like it was simultaneous. Stormy is an artist, you know.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
      • Courser_Resistance

        I went there. Side effects may include dizziness and nausea

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      She’s no Desiree Cousteau!

  • Ninja0980
    • Jamoche

      IOKIYAR

    • gallbladder

      He still is, apparently.

    • The Wanderer

      “AG” = Asshole Goober?

  • Jamoche
    • theCryptofishist

      Fuck

    • Resistor Radio

      Hey! We know her!

      ETA: just kidding, but really, the substance of her tweets are all too real. It’s not the reporters who are biffing this, it’s the producers and editors who are gatekeeping the good stuff and boosting the crap.

      • Bobathonic
        • Resistor Radio

          Gah! Perfect gif! :D

      • phoenix00

        Yeeeah she writes these really solid pieces for this mommyblog that doesn’t allow comments. Weird, right?

        • Resistor Radio

          They have recipes too, I hear

          • phoenix00

            Man, what a strange place!

          • Resistor Radio

            I’d like to subscribe to their newsletter. Oh wait, I already do!

    • TJ Barke

      But please, keep telling us how the media is biased against Donnie, Trumpists!

    • Master Contrail Program

      Ahh, the mysterious minds and machinations of the forgotten Trump voter. Wherever may one pin down these elusive wallflowers?

      • Resistor Radio

        Such shrinking violets, they. Going about their lives with humble taciturnity, how can we ever learn how they think?

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          We already know, they are scared of their own shadows and so mad that they cant be racist in public without being called out on it.

          • Resistor Radio

            You picked up on my sarcasm, I hope!!!!

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            I did, I was trying to get a job with the New York Times. 😛

          • Resistor Radio

            I would hire you!

        • Master Contrail Program

          Eating paint chips? Headbutting a brick wall? They’re just so darn mysterious!

          • Bright Bart

            More paintchips, harder walls.
            My platform for 2018

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m told you can see their reflections in midwest diner windows even if they don’t, strictly speaking, exist.

      • Attenborough is the man for the job what with all his nifty cameras and gadgets.

      • Paperless Tiger

        50 Shades of Stupid.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I think we need articles that represent my county, Alameda (CA). I think we were at 80% for Clinton and 15% for the Orange Skid Mark.

      • generalleeme

        OSM…(Orange Skid Mark)

    • Ninja0980

      Liberal media my ass.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Is it pageviews? Since Trump voters don’t normally read newspapers, this spikes them? Is it just fear of being criticized by whatever media campaign of the moment gets inflicted on right-wingers’ media targets? What’s really driving this weird fascination? That’s an article I’d like to see — a bunch of editors being interviewed on why they’re so obsessed with the portrayal of everyday Americans as Assmouth voters.

      • Jamoche

        They think the rest of us are utterly baffled at how Donnie won (racism) and desperate to get some insight into it (still racism)?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Guilt for their role in the 2016 election debacle, as they try to wash their hands of their complicity by pretending to earnestly search for the “real reason”

        The actual latte sipping limousine liberal arrogance of the establishment press that the rest of us get accused of on a regular basis

        the MSM tends to kowtow to power and they realize that republicans will punish them for insufficient bootlicking, unlike the Dems

        It’s easy and they’re lazy

        • Daniel

          Also they like to feel important and guilty, but in that way where they don’t really believe their guilt. It’s like when you go looking for reassuring flattery by moaning how terrible you are. They desperately want to be important enough to have shaped the election, but not through the things they actually did. They’d rather it be things they can pretend they didn’t do, because then they can make it up by doing them now.
          They want to be part of an elite that ignored “real America” because then they’re important but not solely to blame. They assume then they’ll win kudos by being the first and most determined within that elite to right that wrong by saturating their pages with tears of mea culpas and the spittle flecked rantings of dimwits and bigots.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            then they can spend a couple months navel gazing…

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      So what do Trump supporters think of Trump?
      Wait, they support him?
      That can be….
      Better do another story to find out if Trump supporters support Trump.

    • HazooToo

      Has anyone actually seen more than two (2!!!) pieces written in any media outlet about Hillary voters? Because that’s all I know of. It’s been a year.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Hi Killer Martinis :)

    • Shrieking Harpy

      Silly Linda. Everybody knows that the only important voter in the US is the white male because all other voters aren’t quite, you know, real Americans or even, really, real persons.

    • “M”

      I’m thinking that – how editors keep killing stories that are about any Americans but Trump voters – might be Martini’s story right there.

      Sarah Kendzior certainly thinks so

      https://twitter.com/sarahkendzior/status/954127120543961088

      And then there were these shenanigans in Pittsburgh, where the publisher wrote a racist op-ed and then the union wrote a response and the same racist publisher declined to publish it, so the union had to find another way to release it:

      https://twitter.com/PGNewsGuild/status/953764351311253504

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Nice! Penguins and Steelers still suck though

  • Jamoche
  • William
    • gallbladder

      I miss John Candy.

      • William

        So do I. Uncle Buck forever.

        • Blanche de Shambles

          Even though he was Canadian, he captured “Dude in any Chicago dive bar” perfectly. I miss him, and I miss Chicago.

          • William

            Yeah, he was a great comedian, but he had great acting ability, and could bring a tear. https://youtu.be/hq-4ahJJidI

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            This should be sent en masse to Trump and every troll who defends him by attacking someone else.

            You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I’m an easy target. Yeah, you’re right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you… but I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I’m not changing. I like… I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. ‘Cause I’m the real article. What you see is what you get.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFh5FzXIeBg

          • Naytch

            Loved him and Ally Sheedy in Only the Lonely, too.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Who wants an orange whip?
        Orange whip?
        Orange whip?
        Three orange whips!

        • gallbladder

          Classic.

      • Crank Tango
  • Khavrinen

    Anyone else feel like they need a little therapy today?

    http://www.gocomics.com/monty/2018/01/21

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Master Contrail Program

      Blech. Watermelons are only tolerable when filled with liquor.

      • Thiazin Red

        Its like mangoes, watermelon is good when its the exact right texture, otherwise its nasty.

    • TJ Barke

      I can’t watch that without making a machine noise…

    • phoenix00

      Fiona in a few……

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    OT: American Idol is coming back. American Idol is one of the reasons every new singer since that show’s inception sounds the same. Just watched that Nationwide ad with the white lady who sounds like everyone else.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
      • TJ Barke

        These days you do sort of need the internet.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Yeah but you dont need shows like the Voice or American Idol.

          • SDGeoff3

            Thank you. And some day I will tell you what it’s like to accompany a 15 year old brat with no talent whatsoever, but plenty of Attitude, who auditioned for American Idol, was turned down, and in his alleged mind became a star because he auditioned. And then there was the Stage Mom.

        • Toomush Stability

          Nope. The important part of that rant was not becoming Nirvana. It was “hav(ing) the best time they’ve ever had in their lives”….

      • Courser_Resistance

        I love me some Dave Grohl

    • gallbladder

      I wouldn’t recognize any of those “winners” if they were sitting next to me on a fucking bus. Seriously. So much for that “idol” bullshit.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Not even Justin Guarini who does the Diet Dr. Pepper ads? ; )

        • gallbladder

          I don’t watch TV (cut the cable eight years ago.)

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            Fucking Hipster

          • gallbladder

            Before Hipsterism was hip.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        The only four winners that have really had success in music have been Kelly Clarkson (pop/country), Fantasia Barrino (R&B), Carrie Underwood (country) and Scottie McCreery (country). And of them I would probably say only Carrie Underwood has really hit that “megastar” level.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Yeah, but a lot of classic rock bands are getting long in the tooth. Who else will play America’s car shows and barbecue festivals in the near future?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Toby Keith?

    • The Wanderer

      “White lady who sounds like everyone else.”

      Kenny Chesney?

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Peyton Manning?

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • gallbladder

      GOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Thiazin Red

      That ad is annoying AF. They’re still called computers.

    • phoenix00

      I like how that synthesized voice enunciated “bitch.”

    • Daniel

      “You’re using one you pretentious arse.”

  • Thiazin Red
  • hvdv

    Those are some lovely pictures. I especially appreciate the “ninja of kindness” one. Thanks for posting. Couldn’t march myself, as I had a prior commitment to help prepare a former student nail a fraudulent instructor. So, I was working on justice being served on dishonest men too. Hope that counts for something.

    • Shrieking Harpy

      It counts. It really counts.

    • Rasilom

      Always. Just about more than anything.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Lap hippos sound worse than my 90 lb grandpuppies trying to be lap dogs.

      • Oh, man, I had a 120 lb lap puppy, once. When he decided it was time to snuggle, you really weren’t accomplishing anything else for the rest of the day. I eventually learned to keep a book and the remote control right by the sofa, just in case.

    • SDGeoff3

      awwww…ohhh…how fucking beautiful!

    • Parakeetist

      Yay

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Gronk might be concussed which begs the question: “How can you tell?”

    • The Wanderer

      LOL

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      He makes even less sense than usual?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Be careful with the Hippopotamus stuff. Those things are people murders!

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • La Cieca

    I read in the New York Times there were literally hundreds of women marching worldwide.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Waiting for the inevitable article where they ask Trump supporters how they feel about that. There were 600,000 in LA alone. Buncha bitches. “Access”

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      That number seems too high.

    • Daniel

      Several of them were spotted in New York itself. Many of them are thought to have been members of the elite who are alienated from real America.

    • “Ooooh. I don’t know if we have enough sourcing for that. Better make it dozens.”

      • Paperless Tiger

        Tens.

        • phoenix00

          “We found this one person just off the sidewalk “Hey why did you vote for Trump?””

      • Daniel

        “You watched them through the window!”
        “Yes, of a liberal paper!”
        “I see what you mean.”
        “The glass is probably biased, and my eyes…”
        “Several. A handful.”
        “Some.”
        “Perfect.”

    • SayItWithWookies

      I hear they were bussed in from Mississippi.

    • TootsStansbury

      They’ll certainly need to ID the people who marched in Tr*mp country, they wouldn’t want to accidently interview one!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Last year there were 2000 people at our local march, but the local newspaper reported it as 200. Proof-reading is a dead skill.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Are you sure it was an accidental typo?

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Pretty sure. We don’t get crowds that big in this little town for anything other than college football games, so it was hard to miss 2000 people walking around downtown yelling political slogans for 2 hours. Besides, we walked right past the newspaper office.

  • Shrieking Harpy

    “There is no force equal to a woman determined to rise” — W. E. B. Du Bois.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      “Um, Excuse me…I believe it is spelled ‘De Bois’.”

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    The derp continues:

    He only learned an accepted pardon was an admission of guilt because @AriMelber informed him. https://t.co/R1qa8iprKu— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) January 21, 2018

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
  • William
    • OutOfOrbit

      HaHa compulsive

  • SDGeoff3

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e915ad5b8049ded762df189b15fe9c5853ecdbaef85c6eb8c0d15cb85adfd54.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f4847e8f21b8fd898c3696574371fe914d87f3daeaa293025b729d5ef86bb44a.jpg
    Here is my partner at the San Diego march. It was his first big march, and he wants to attend more at age 76!! Thanks to the folks who made the sign; he had a great time with my sister, my lovely niece and thousands of others!

    • Shrieking Harpy

      I like your partner!

      • SDGeoff3

        Yeah, he’s a keeper. Twenty-three years and more to come.

        • Shrieking Harpy

          Sweet!

          • SDGeoff3

            Thank you. Yes, he is.

        • Rasilom

          That is AWSOME! Here to 100 more years at least!

          • SDGeoff3

            Thanks, but one of the topics we share is, “do I really want to live to be as old as my mother?”

          • Naytch

            As long as you do it together!

  • William
  • (((Sedagive)))

    Disqus is not letting me upload any images (it keeps telling me that I’m not here, and yet here I am, not commenting).

    Anyhoo: what a brilliant march it was in NYC. Some little girls marching near me (maybe about 12 years old) were leading the chants. At one point they started yelling something like “fuck that fucking fucker!” It was funny for a millisecond. I had to tell them that they should have a bit more dignity than the so-called POTUS, and they decided to yell something else.

    Oh well: girls will be girls.

    • SDGeoff3

      Disqus is on the fritz pretty much all the time lately.

      • gallbladder

        I blame the Ruskies.

        • jaspersdad

          I blame Harper.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      I had that happen earlier, had to clear cache and cookies and restart my browser for disqus to stop sucking.

      • (((Sedagive)))

        Thanks – worked like a charm!

    • Ling Ling

      It is fun to be the naughty girl.

      • OutOfOrbit

        IOKIYF

      • little miss high and mighty

        our thought exactly

    • TootsStansbury

      I know it makes me a horrible person but little kids cussing makes me laugh.

    • MANGO CRIMES

      Write some text – even just hit space – before uploading.

  • RickyG

    It is evident that a skunk has moved in underneath my house. No obvious outside entry way to the crawl space. Stinky. Suggestions?
    (I have named it Mitch)

    • msanthropesmr

      Move.

      • RickyG

        Ok, up to but not including that.

        • Shan

          Do you have a local critter control company? I had to call one to get rid of pigeons in my eaves.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            ‘pigeons in my eaves’ sounds like a colloquialism for being crazy

          • OutOfOrbit

            she iz, a liddle bit

          • Shan

            Hey, now!

          • RickyG

            I was waiting for that!

          • Shan

            I’m not crazy, just a ginger.

          • mancityRed6

            it’s the name of my new pig latin ska band

          • RickyG

            Better than skunk in my bunk!

          • It could have been worse, at least you didn’t have desperados under the eaves.

          • RickyG

            Probably a pest control person in the larger towns near by

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      buy an owl?

      • gallbladder

        There’s a rather juvenile “Wheel of Fortune” joke in there somewhere.

    • TundraGrifter

      Will your local animal control let you borrow a live trap? Of course, you’re going to have to be carefully handling the animal if it works…

      • RickyG

        Good idea. Will look into it. Would prefer not to kill. Just move along there Mitch

        • TootsStansbury

          Can you find out if there are experienced handlers? Only because skunk.

        • TundraGrifter

          Or a local humane society? You can promise to wash out the cage before you return it. Or tell them you want to catch a raccoon.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Skunks named Mitch are almost impossible to get rid of and their stench lingers for a long time.

      • RickyG

        Do skunks like peaches? Cuz I could go for some impeachment!

      • OutOfOrbit

        have heared vinegar & tomotto juice werkz good

    • mancityRed6

      Karl is really upset you’re calling him “Mitch”

    • I’d suggest buying a catch-and-release trap, but I don’t think you really want to deal with a scared Mephitis mephitis. Time to call the professionals.

    • altleftjohn

      Maybe the Koch brothers could offer it a large cash bribe.

    • phoenix00

      Paint a cat and, uhh, befriend it?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lsQfTaStcs

      • RickyG

        Le sigh

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Crank up the subwoofer with Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, AC/DC… you get the drift.

  • Baconzgood
  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • HazooToo

      As long as they’re not giving up DACA.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      “Welcome to Shithole, home of the Shit Sandwich. What kind of shit sandwich can I make for you today?”

      • Toomush Stability

        Do you have anything with less Shit on it? My wife doesn’t care for Shit….

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          Sorry, all we have shit, shit with eggs, shit eggs and ham, shit eggs shit and ham, shit eggs shit and sausage…

          I’ll stop now.

          • Doug Langley

            Well, just so long as it’s not spam.

        • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

          “You’ll want the Trump, Trump Trump, Trump, eggs and spam, then.”

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      The bipartisan group isn’t crafting separate legislation. Senators say the bulk of their talks were about how to get 60 votes for the bill to fund the government through Feb. 8 paired with a commitment that will satisfy Democrats on bringing up an immigration bill.

      Uh, this isn’t any different than the “deal” that was offered Friday night. Unless the commitment includes kicking McConnell in the nads if he doesn’t bring DACA up, it’s worthless.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        The Friday deal was to fund the government until February 16th.

      • shivaskeeper

        They have been so trustworthy in bringing up promised bills that their own party has asked for. Why would the Dems trust them?

    • shivaskeeper

      It doesn’t really matter. Any deal, bipartisan or not will have to be signed by Two Scoops. It’s going to come down to how obstinate he is feeling. I’m pretty sure he’s pissed he missed his party, but it’s going to come down to how much heat he’s feeling from his base. It’s going to come down to how much blame he feels is coming his way because he can;t handle the blame.

      This is of course moot if there is enough votes to override a veto.

      • The Wanderer

        President “I’ll Take the Heat” won’t sign unless Kelly and Miller sign off on it.

        • shivaskeeper

          Or whoever talks to him after them.

          • mackafritz, v.s.g.

            He’ll have to hear from Fox & Friends.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Fortunately, Trump left himself a way out by taking both sides of the issue, as usual. He’ll claim a win no matter what.

        • shivaskeeper

          Maybe. He has to cater to the base. There is no one besides them that will support him. No one besides them still likes him. As soon as the base gets hurt by this he will change course in a fucking heartbeat. Until then, I give it 50/50 odds at best.

    • The Wanderer

      Bets?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      If Trump is to sign this then we need to distract Kelly and Miller. I recommend the Blazing Saddles strategy

      https://i.imgur.com/uRGrg5W.gif

    • SayItWithWookies

      “We have found a way to keep this failure from being too much of a distraction from our main work of shambling onward towards total collapse.”

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Here’s a nice story. Three of our speakers yesterday were 8th graders who got active in reforming their school’s dress code. They noticed two things – the dress code was directed mostly at girls, and the dress code was incredibly sexist. So they made a bit of a ruckus, showing up at school board meetings and making their case for dress code reform. And they got it done. So anyway, they stood up in front of 5,000 people and made nice speeches about getting involved and making a difference and good stuff like that. And now for the surprise ending – one of the students was transgender.

    • The kids are alright.

    • (((Sedagive)))

      That right there is a beautiful story.

    • William
    • Shan

      My daughter’s school dress code is stupid and sexist as well but they never enforce it. There have been a few times she’s gone off wearing stuff I thought would get her sent home, but nope. The only thing the school is strict about is the ban on anything with a bandana print on it because it’s supposedly a gang thing.

      • shivaskeeper

        Most, if not all, school dress codes are stupid as soon as they go beyond basic decency levels of code.

        • Shan

          I was prepared to kick up a fuss if they ever sent her home for wearing leggings or having a bra strap show. I mean, my son never got sent home for his stupid saggy pants with a yard of plaid underpants flapping out the back.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Shrieking Harpy

      Is that for Fiona? If so, yay! I love Fiona because she makes the beginning of so many of my days beginnable and bearable.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Yes it is,.

        • Shrieking Harpy

          Thanks! And I retract the “if so” in my previous comment.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            This is a “parody account” that just retweets Fiona stories and pictures. I guess they call it a parody account to get around tweeting about Fiona though.

            https://twitter.com/FionaHippo

            And the Cincinnati Zoo tweets a lot of Fiona stories and pictures too.

            https://twitter.com/cincinnatizoo

    • Mystery_Poster

      Is that Fiona, or Trump. Oh wait, he’s a svelte 239.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Dont insult Fiona like that.

    • Phried Ω

      click click click click…So that makes Fiona 12 feet 2 inches tall.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Even Fiona was involved in the women’s march yesterday.

    https://twitter.com/CincinnatiZoo/status/954823950814646282

    • Shrieking Harpy

      YAY!!!!

    • phoenix00

      Cute babby hippo represent!

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Conservatives as so mad about it too which makes it even better.

        • SDGeoff3

          Isn’t that always the best part? Conservative wing nuts and misery. Peanut butter jelly time!

    • SDGeoff3

      As well she should be!

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Toomush Stability

      Geez, this place used to be a Butterstick hub….and now…..

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        This is the happy nice time thread. And Fiona is cute and stories about her fit into the happy nice time theme.

  • rocktonsam

    Donald’s ex wives, ex girlfriends ,strippers, porn stars and ladies who di dnt want their privates grabbed could have a march too.

  • poll says:

    48% blame Yam+GOP
    28% blame Dems
    18% blame both

    Yertle’s gonna be SO MAD.

    clarification: this poll is from Friday http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/369748-poll-more-blame-trump-and-gop-for-possible-shutdown-than-dems

    the latest polls are narrower in margin but still blame Republicans https://www.politico.com/story/2018/01/21/government-shutdown-2018-polls-blame-353728

    • OutOfOrbit

      Turddle will lie different numbers cuz he lies

  • mancityRed6

    had lunch with the parents. dad and I openly mocked tRump in a purple county and mom and I had a good discussion on sports ball. she wants the Pats to lose today, I’d rather they lose in the superbowl.
    just because the Jags are ahead so far doesn’t mean they will stay there.

    • Toomush Stability

      Tired of the Pats, tired of asshole Brian, tired of asshole Brady….

    • jaspersdad

      Anyone but the Pats.

  • William
  • shivaskeeper

    At this point I just want the Dems to take back the House so anytime Ryan tries to speak, assuming he’s still there, whoever in the new Speaker tells him, “Shut the fuck up, the grown folks are talking”.

    This is unrelated to anything else.

    • TJ Barke

      Really that’s all anyone around him should ever say to him, including his children.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      “Shut the fuck up Paulie, you’re out of your element”?

      • The Wanderer

        “Shut up, Paulie. Remember what happened to Fredo.”

    • Phried Ω

      I much prefer Randy Bryce to win.

    • Crank Tango

      They can make this face at him too– https://i.redd.it/dkz57geqd47y.jpg

      • shivaskeeper

        Not even in jest.

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    OT: Canada might have a city bus that transports a nuclear arsenal. You can tell by the name.

    This bus company asked people for a new name for one of its vehicles, and people suggested “Jeff”

    Remember Jeff? He’s the guy at the tail end of the CNN chart who has about a half-dozen A-bombs lying around, that he won’t share with ‘Murica, Bibi, or Li’l Rocket Man. You know… Jeff.

    https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1052/1*RLK89CoXdnSD4umj5q3CjA.png

    • Daniel

      Bussy McBusface is the name of an actual Canadian politician.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        The Liberal MP who the snobby cons made fun of because he was an immigrant who used to be a bus driver?

        http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/bus-driver-minister-laughter-1.3984808

        • William

          Pfffft. I’m a retired guy who got a job as a bus driver and just got back from three days of taking an Irish film crew around ski country in New Hampshire and staying at the most exclusive resorts including,the Mt. Washington resort. All free of charge, I got paid for it, and had a blast. BTW. The Mount Washington resort has a much higher rating than any Trump property.

          • SDGeoff3

            It’s run by adults.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            And you’re probably a much better overall person than those asshole cons. From what I can see, Canada’s Tories stopped being respectable at about the same time the Republicans did.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Dammit Jeff.

      • mancityRed6

        don’t make him angry

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Well, at least we know now who’s going to defend Canada from the Rooskies, the American Rooskies, Rocket Man, and Gyna.

        It’s… Jeff!

    • phoenix00

      Saaay you know who else has <10 nuclear weapons?

  • William

    Looking back over the last year, I must admit, He really was telling the truth about how he would run the government. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/03f07cc6ec639b0d9cf2594960e3aa13d87e1dbef9602aed1032cedebaba9a0f.jpg

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Trump Casino, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump Mortgage, Trump Magazine, Trump University: All shutdown. Sounds like he’s running the country like a business.

  • Meanwhile, at Mar-a-Lago, Caviar is being served with PLASTIC SPOONS!!1!1!! and RITZ CRACKERS!!1!1, apparently.

    I’d be more concerned that all of the ice in the serving dish had melted, leaving the caviar at an unsafe temperature for who knows how long, but that just goes to show you that my priorities are ALL KINDS of fucked up.

    • SDGeoff3

      I wonder how they managed to rack up all those health code violations! And wonder if they removed the textured clear plastic upholstery covers in the lobby before everyone showed up.

    • William

      Let’s hope for the best. Undercooled meat. Dangerous fish. Health inspectors ding Trump’s Mar-a-Lago kitchen
      http://www.miamiherald.com/entertainment/restaurants/article144261894.html

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      for $100K they could not afford better spoons? wonder what they normally use.

      • SDGeoff3

        Their hands, is my guess.

      • Phried Ω

        Could it be that Cheeto steals all the spoons when he leaves Mar Legos when he goes back to Washington out of habit?

        • Jamoche

          Caviar spoons aren’t gold. They aren’t even metal. Donnie wouldn’t touch ’em.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            caviar is also too not on the McDonald’s menu.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          what for? do they help him tweeter?

      • Doug Langley

        Fine, let’s give them sterling silver. It’s the most expensive, you know.

        (and the most guaranteed to freak out caviar lovers)

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          they would be more freaked out by sterling silver than by plastic?

          (yes, I understand you’re only supposed to use certain metals or it fucks up the taste, but this isn’t fucking BaskinRobbin’s.)

          • Doug Langley

            I thought that any metal was verboten, apologies if wrong.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            I am probably wrong.

          • Jamoche

            It’s no metals at all – they’d definitely prefer plastic over silver.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            so why are they so ooked out?

          • Jamoche

            (wood, horn, mother of pearl) > plastic > silver
            And the first group isn’t even expensive.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            I would think wood would be pretty inexpensive. but this is Mar-A-Shithole. they couldn’t go for the step up to horn or mother of pearl?

      • Fingers. Just scoop a little out, and smear it on a saltine.

    • Jamoche

      I’m baffled that someone who knows how caviar ought to be served is at Trump’s tacky palace in the first place.

      • mancityRed6

        they aren’t

    • Doug Langley

      But the peanut butter/jelly fountain got rave reviews.

    • Blackest Noobs

      ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha oh man…no matter how much money he steals he will always be trash.

      he thinks he’s the Great Gatsby when he is just a racist_leaning Elmer Fudd in a suit that DOES NOT FIT HIM.

    • Trumpsters_are_fools

      fucked up truly describes anyone who would pay $250,000 to go to that place, with all the health violations they are really risking food poisoning!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I just heard on the tvs that Blake Bortles said he’s not a natural thrower. Dude! You’re a fucking quarterback!

    • Phried Ω

      Maybe he means he’s trying to win.

    • Doug Langley

      Can I have his job? Pretty sure it pays more than mine.

  • mancityRed6
    • phoenix00

      I like “Super Callous Fragile Racist Sexist Nazi POTUS”

      • mancityRed6

        that’s why I stole it off the best friend of the ex’s feed.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    a) I fucking hate questionnaires.

    b) does anyone here have layout design experience that’s less than 15 years in the past?

    • mancityRed6

      I was gonna say yes, but I misread that as “layabout”

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      What kind of layout?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        door hangers.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Okay, that unfortunately is not my jam. Sorry.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            what is your jelly?

  • Jamoche
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Marc Short said it was an outside ad. Why did Marc Short lie?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        oops?

      • Jamoche

        Grifters gotta grift.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        he was offering an alternative fact?

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      And the White House is trying to distance itself from those ads. “Some asshole is running these ads, we dont know who though.”

      https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/marc-short-trump-campaign-ad_us_5a64b69ae4b002283003b188

      A top White House aide tried to distance the administration from an incendiary new online ad that says Democrats are culpable for murder if they refuse to support the administration’s immigration proposals ― even though the ad came from President Donald Trump’s re-election campaign.

      The campaign released the ad as the government shutdown began on Saturday. Touting Trump’s immigration policies ― including construction of a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border ― the video says “Democrats who stand in our way will be complicit in every murder committed by illegal immigrants.”

      Funding for the wall and the status of more than 700,000 undocumented people brought to the U.S. as children have been key sticking points in negotiations that stalled and led to the shutdown.

      Marc Short, the White House’s legislative affairs director, tried to distance the White House from the ad, telling Chuck Todd on NBC’s “Meet The Press,” that it was produced by an “outside group” and not anyone in the White House ― even though that group is the president’s own campaign.

      But when Todd pressed him on whether the ad was helpful in terms of negotiating a funding deal with Democrats, Short defended it.

      “I think it’s helpful to continue to raise awareness of the crisis we have,” Short said.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Now that is a forced error, and not the only one.

  • Blackest Noobs

    come on Jags!

    • gallbladder

      Up by a TD, I see!

      • Blackest Noobs

        but they’re playing Tom B and the Pats. they’re known for upsetting games.

        • mancityRed6

          and Brady has stitches

    • The Wanderer

      Fournette is a frickin’ Beast.

      • Blackest Noobs

        beast_mode.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      😢

      I’m trying to avoid all coverage of the game until it’s over because it makes me nervous to watch.

      I hate football because of how destructive it is but have a sentimental attachment to the Patriots team.

    • mancityRed6

      20-10

    • mancityRed6

      Gronkowski out with a concussion, it’s all on Brady now. stitches and all.

    • Blackest Noobs

      damn it Thomas Brady. damn it.

  • Uh, there is no way this is real, right?

    …Oh, who am I kidding? Of course it is real.

    https://twitter.com/davidmackau/status/954849090986283009

    • OutOfOrbit

      I can’t see what it says

      • Shan

        Listen to tne recording.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Aah thx

      • Basically, “Sorry we can’t take your call because EEEEEBILLL, OBSTRUCTIONIST DEMONCRATS HAVE SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT!!1!1!”

        • OutOfOrbit

          Thx

        • gallbladder

          “Petty” doesn’t even begin to cover it.

    • gallbladder

      Jesus Fucking Christ.

    • OrG

      They still have a whitehouse comment line?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      It was busy when I called.

      • Toomush Stability

        Yeah, I have a comment to make, too….

    • TootsStansbury

      Being a liberal, I`m used to being demonzed. I`m in my mid 50s so it’s been going on my whole life, but this shit? This shit is scary. It’s like they’re ramping up to death squads.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      But he is a master negotiator or something.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Yambo shoots from the hip.

    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      Did they have to put it in cartoon form?

    • shivaskeeper

      Sure he didn’t.

      The narrative they are going with is he was undermined by his own people and is therefore not to blame. He is innocent. It was the staff that did it, not him.

      But here’s what’s not going to happen. No one will be fired for undermining the him. No one will be moved to a lesser or different position. None of them. Not one single person will be asked to resign.

      None of that will happen because they were his fucking demands.

      Look the motherfucker is stupid, sure. He’s a piss poor negotiator, sure. He’s also a bully who figures everyone will give in to him. He overplayed his hand. I’m sure his staff helped him out, but this is one him. He was a racist fuck before the demands went out, he did not suddenly become not a racist just for this deal. This was all him.

      • Paperless Tiger

        I still believe he didn’t read what he dictated, and didn’t recognize it later.

        • shivaskeeper

          Possible. But that still makes them his demands to start with.

        • bupkus231

          Doesn’t make you wonder if he DID dictate anything – that instead of his own witless words, one of those anonymous staffers put iy out for him? But, admit that someone else is writing his tweets/”setting his policies”? He rather look like an ancephalic moron ( which can always be denied ) than not authoring “his own words”….

          That twitter feed is supposed to be unfiltered Rump. The fact of the matter is that he probably is worse than I am at manipulating a “smart phone”.

      • TootsStansbury

        Right? Is this some new thing? A gentle more kindly, Nazi?

        • shivaskeeper

          Well, yeah. He’s an unabashed racist 99% or the time. The only time he’s not is when he’s dictating the terms to let immigrants stay in the country.

          Is that not believable?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the trouble is- he’s just as likely to be stupid and lazy enough not to read his own memos as he is vain and dishonest enough to lie about it and blame his staff. Either one is totes believable…

        • shivaskeeper

          Not buying it. He didn;t suddenly stop being a racist asshat just for this deal.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Trump needs to grow a set.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Geeze — that Hill article comes from this WaPo article which is a lot more extensive. Our so-called president is overstressed by the little work that he does, and this — first, and minor — crisis he’s had to deal with by doing actual negotiation has him going ’round the bend. After tweeting that CHIP reauthorization shouldn’t be part of the continuing resolution, this happened:

      The president, however, did not seem to fully grasp just how problematic his CHIP tweet was for his own party. Minutes after tweeting his criticism, Trump spoke by phone with McConnell, according to people familiar with the conversation. Trump praised the Republican bill, showed no reluctance when McConnell explained his plan to forge ahead with it and made no mention of his tweet, these people said. Trump also reassured House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) that he liked the bill as it was.

      The whole episode left congressional leaders puzzled: Why, they wondered, would the president tweet something negative about their legislation and rattle Republican lawmakers without ever raising concerns with them — and then act as if nothing had happened?

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        Hey may be able to pass a basic cognition test, but there is no doubt he is A Idiot.

  • little miss high and mighty

    gods! it’s 45 minutes till tomorrow
    we gotta close upp this cold shop now
    bye, all
    be well
    do not spoi the nfl result tonight- we can only watch on delay tomorrow night.
    Go Jagwads! beat the notorious cheaters!
    Enjoy the Strudel recipe and we are so sorry for having accidentally dissed the good Mumy boy- whoever he is.
    Rest of ya be well
    goodnight

    • Doug Langley

      Good night.

  • Phried Ω

    OT, a Peregrine Falcon has spent the last 40 minutes in my backyard lunching on a gopher.

    • gallbladder

      Amazing animals, those falcons. That gopher never had a chance.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      The peregrines are the fanciest, with their al fresco luncheons. What wine did he pair with the meal?

      • Phried Ω

        He plucked all of the fur off first. Very fastidious.

        • The Wanderer

          Neatness counts.

        • Martini A, very stable genius

          Well of course, he would. Fur is so out this year. He didn’t use one of those déclassé plastic spoons for the caviar course, I hope.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        a nice chianti

    • altleftjohn
    • shivaskeeper

      Five or six months ago a pair of Bald Eagles took out some of a friend’s chickens. They were manteled up and eating on the ground. The horses in the pasture decided to check them out.

      The eagles stood up spread their wings, scared the fuck out of the horses and went right back to eating.

    • Phried Ω
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      40 minutes? When my wolf snags one of those, lunch lasts about 40 seconds

    • InDogsWeTrust

      Meanwhile, in my backyard, a dozen species of birds are gorging on pyracantha berries. Happens every year: all the birds get the memo on the Same Day that berries are ready. On deck for tomorrow: a dozen species of pyracantha poop.

  • Nasty Woman Persisted
  • Daniel

    So the sleazy dick leading UKIP has list a vote of no confidence from the other sleazy dicks in UKIP and is refusing to resign. They might have to sack him.
    These bumbling, hooting dickholes couldn’t run a pissup in a brewery, and they think they’re the saviours of the nation.
    Cue Farage’s reentry on a suspiciously white charger.

    • mancityRed6

      the best thing about the cab ride in Dublin, weekend before St Pat’s day, the driver made fun of the English saying the Scots and the Welsh were a lot more fun to be around. and exception was made for me being American.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      They broke the nation. The only thing Farage should be entering is prison. Brexit was a Rooskie clusterfuck.

  • William
    • The Wanderer

      I admire your erudition.

      • OutOfOrbit

        But rather repetitive

    • Doug Langley

      Succinct, yet insightful.

  • The Wanderer

    Gronkowski’s out. Concussion protocol.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Oh, they’re actually going to follow it this week? That’s novel.

    • h4rr4r

      Isn’t it a bit too little too late for the pros at this point?

    • mancityRed6

      and a turn over in the 4th

      • The Wanderer

        Yep!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      ZOMG. It’s safe to watch the sportsball?!

  • The Wanderer

    Q: Why does Melania insist on being on top when she has sex?
    A: Because all Trump can do is fuck up.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Daily Kos users are melting down over the negotiations between the moderates right now.

    • shivaskeeper

      Purity today, purity tomorrow, purity forever.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I think the issue is more that the deal depends upon the turtle keeping a promise- which we’ve seen is foolish to count on

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          A promise from McConnell doesn’t mean shit unless Ryan agrees to bring it to the floor.

          • Bobathonic

            There’s no “unless”.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Lets ask Susan Collins and Jeff Flake about the turtle keeping his promises.

        • shivaskeeper

          He lies to his own. There is no way he’ll follow through. This is a given.

          But. The government will have to reopen some time before Jan of next year which will be the next possible time the Dems get to dictate the terms.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            It may well prove to be better optics to make a good faith compromise that fails, showing the country which party is willing to govern (other than the teatards, who live in an alternate reality). The longer this drags out, the more it descends into Washington dysfunction™ thanks in no small part to the efforts of the Beltway Bothsiders. It at least takes away GOP talking points…

          • shivaskeeper

            Something like that.

          • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

            That’s been done. Last week, when the bipartisan group presented their deal to Trump and were dismissed. When Schumer met with Trump on Friday and had burgers. What does it matter if the House and the Senate iron something out and then Trump won’t sign it? Two Scoops needs to own this shit.

      • Toomush Stability

        Ponies for errybody!…

    • Paperless Tiger

      I say don’t give an inch. Trump is stewing in a whole lot of juice right now, seasoned with plenty of spices. Let him cook.

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        The deal is only until the 8th then we get to do this again. They need to put up a yearly budget or GTFO.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Glad I can’t smell it

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Gist of their argument is that Dems are weak and Republicans will win ’18

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Someone did bring up an interesting point though: Even though DACA is important to the base, the shutdown will affect much of the Dem base that thinks DACA isn’t worth a shutdown and we need those folks in the midterms.

      • Toomush Stability

        Nope. They’re not going anywhere.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          If they feel the shutdown they could decide to stay home

          • Toomush Stability

            Nope. They know what’s going on.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            Not the casual Dem voters or, gulp, Independents

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I hope Dems realize that McConnell’s promise to bring up DACA doesn’t mean anything. Ryan needs to bring it up as well.

    • SDGeoff3

      They melt down over burnt avocado toast.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Yeah, the Kos comment section is….”argumentative”.

  • mancityRed6

    brainfart usually uses bad pictures of people they hate, this is the picture of tRump they use calling for an end to the 60 vote rule
    http://media.breitbart.com/media/2018/01/donald-trump-4-640×480.png
    what the ever loving hell is wrong with his eyes?

    • mancityRed6

      doesn’t he look tired? and dumb as fuck?

    • Daniel

      They’re not his. Dr. Coppelius has done it again.

    • Doug Langley

      He just looked at an eclipse?

    • The Wanderer

      The problem that the Breitbarters may not comprehend is that not all the GOP Senators are on board with the idea of shitting on the 60-vote rule.

      • mancityRed6

        but it would make things so much easier when the (D)s take it over next year.

        • The Wanderer

          Hence their reluctance. Sauce for the goose, as it were.

      • SDGeoff3

        Karma, ya know. It’s bit them before, but they don’t quite git it.

    • Left Coast Tom

      He spray paints himself orange, the raccoon eyes are the natural skin color.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        ^this
        Wears little googles while the orange shit is sprayed on him.

    • mold.

    • Toomush Stability

      Spray orange tan doesn’t reach his lids…

      • mancityRed6

        I can’t imagine the fat bastard squinting so hard so I’ll go with the goggles thing.

    • hudson
  • mancityRed6

    well poop. Brady is moving the ball downfield.

    • gallbladder

      Ugh.

    • The Wanderer

      Fuck fuck fuckity fuckfuckfuck.

      • mancityRed6

        yep. touchdown. I’ll give him credit for making a first and 18 yard play.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Help us, Blake Bortles. You’re our only hope.

      (I think I’m gonna be sick.)

      • mancityRed6

        this plays into my dream of the Vikings or the Eagles beating them. Vikings only because it will be a home game.

  • Cecile Richards clearly is her mother’s daughter. http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/21/us/women-march-cecila-richards-trnd/index.html

    • SDGeoff3

      Thank the godess.

  • RMKH

    Here is your report from the far, far west:. We had our march in Anacortes, WA on Friday night. Haven’t seen an official count but I’m guessing 400. Down from last year but a pretty good showing on a dark and stormy night in our little town. Good spirits and pussy hats all around, except I had my Donna Rose Impeach hat which everyone liked.

    Resist!

    • SDGeoff3

      Trendy fashion slaves, unite!!
      Bravo to Anacortes!!

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    this about sums up my feelings right now.

    http://www.iwillnotdiet.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/april-ludgate-i-want-to-not-do-things.gif

    but Lorax appears to have that one all to himself.

    • mancityRed6

      every friggin day

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        but you are a professional layabout. that is your job. I would think it would get old.

        • mancityRed6

          the secret is netflix and discretionary drinking.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            oh. I do netflix and very public drinking.

          • mancityRed6

            well there’s your problem.
            now first, you’re gonna need the biggest cup you can get from whataburger

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            umm…but I usually just use the Kerr-cup that’s hooked to one of my beltloops…?

            besides, I work in politics. I can drink with the best of ’em.

            http://persephonemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/josh-lyman-sleepy.gif

          • mancityRed6

            if you don’t have an emergency flask then you’re not even in the game.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      The problem with being a workaholic is not knowing when to stop.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        the problem with stopping work is that it’s a lot of “hurry up and wait”.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Touché.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Peter Gibbons: It’s not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It’s about all of us. I don’t know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don’t know, maybe it was just shock and it’s wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die – Michael, we don’t have a lot of time on this earth! We weren’t meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.

  • coozledad

    This is me, coozledad, with my sign and my lovely wife and my dear friends in Raleigh.
    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1M33UjBUhWDMVpgiZMlfQ2hpvH1TXiHKO/view?ts=5a6512d3

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      Awwww … we can’t look see … permission denied.

    • Doug Langley

      For some reason I keep reading your name as coolz – dad.

      • coozledad

        My name is Derek Collins,and only recently have the people that mattered if I shared that name have fucking DIED. I just hate going back and doing the clerical work.

        • Doug Langley

          Well, you’re cool to me.

  • wait! what?

    I think the cleanliness of Donald’s desk makes him metrodeskual.

    • didn’t they use to call that lazy?

    • SayItWithWookies

      You know he’s had a spectacular business career when he can’t even fake working.

      • wait! what?

        He’s an old fashioned failure; he’s lost all blotter control.

  • William
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Kim, nuclear strike on Foxborough, please?
    kthanxbai.

  • Suse

    Anybody in Boston need some kittehs? https://twitter.com/GiffordCats/status/955124484431892480

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Aww, cute! I’ll post on the FB to query my Bos area mates.

      • Suse

        They look like my little girl, Brownie, who would be 34 now. :-(

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          So…maybe you need some Boston kittens? I hate to be a bad influence … but them’s some cute kitters!

          • Suse

            I’m in CA. I lost my 17 year old orange boys a few months ago.Not quite ready for new critters yet.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            Oh, honey. I know the heartbreak of losing furry fam. Take care and all the time you need. We had to say goodbye to both our elderly dogs in 2015 and 2016. Got caught up in a feral kitten in 2016 and now are cat people…don’t go past any adoption tables expecting to leave empty-handed.

          • SDGeoff3

            Hugs to you. It’s been 9 months here since we dispatched a dear soul of a kitteh, and I’m still having moments. Hugs to you.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            *Hugs*

        • Martini A, very stable genius

          They look a bit like my Chessie, too, who would be about 30 this year.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Here at 58 E. Longitude, I am running a little Trap/Neuter/Return operation on the bin cats. With TNR and some feeding, maybe the group will stabilize.

      Anyway, got a little black devil in a carrier in the hallway. Just back from the vet. No babbies for you, dearie.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Awww! I do, at least from on the interwebs. What with being one of few with an unpopular opinion on here, being a recovering Patriots fan and all…

      Can’t actually have kitties because mom has really bad allergies. But all the best to the lucky family who does get to take them in. 😺

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Badass Senator Tammy Duckworth just called the preznit “Cadet Bone Spurs”. We here at Wonkette-dot-com take pride in using only the freshest perjoratives in describing that guy, you know who I’m talking about. “Cadet Bone Spurs”.

    So it is written. So it will be.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    May it come down to a final play and may the End Zone knock it out of the Pats’ receiver’s hands.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I know. It’s like they use sets and locations.

      • Walter Wellstone

        The nerve, am I right?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Moon shot, people?!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I mean why couldn’t they have filmed in the real Wakanda?

      • Timothy Watson

        A real blow to Wakanda-United States relations.

    • Oh Noez! you’re saying Hollywood is selling fake stuff?

    • Doug Langley

      And Gone With The Wind was filmed in Los Angeles! Well, ah declare.

      • Arolpin

        As was M.A.S.H.

  • mancityRed6

    6 minutes left. an eternity for this particular kind of sportsball

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I turned it off. They made their comeback after I switched it on. I ca’t take that responsibility.

      • OutOfOrbit

        2 late

      • mancityRed6

        at least now we know who to blame.
        yeah, no. it doesn’t work. I thought it did for KU for awhile but no.

        • Resistor Radio

          This season, they only win if I don’t watch

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, but I watched and KU won on Sat. maybe just watch the teams you want to lose?

          • Resistor Radio

            I have it on my DVR, if I watch it that W will automatically magically become an L

  • msanthropesmr
    • Resistor Radio

      Woah. She creepy. (Not bad-willow, the other lady)

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      If I have learned anything from Supernatural I would say she is a demon and someone needs to splash her with holy water.

  • Walter Wellstone

    I was going to go to the deleted comments thread but I decided to go through these pictures instead. I could not give any less of a half-flying fuck about what the so-called history expert had to say. I do care about the people in these pictures. Thanks fo sharing, everyone.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Good choice. Boring troll was boring. And wrong.

  • mysonsam
  • SDGeoff3

    Well, Disqus can’t even let me upvote anymore, so I’ll continue to enjoy your comments, and drink. It is so pleasant to see such a nice upbeat mood. Thank you, Godess Cali for inspiring and enabling the Women’s March in San Diego and everywhere. The empowerment is strong, fierce, and loving.

  • Marion in Savannah

    OT, but after the year we’ve all lived through this TV ad brought me to tears:

    https://youtu.be/sdMxbjx-yGI

    • William

      Damn onions

    • Resistor Radio

      *sobbing*

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    POP QUIZ HOT SHOTS:

    how much does it cost to plug an orphan oil well? (answers for both land wells and off-shore wells will be accepted.)

    • msanthropesmr

      Can’t we put it up for adoption?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        we do. we get rid of about 600 a year that way. about 3500 are reunited with their parents. that leaves about 1400 that will have to be plugged.

    • mancityRed6
      • msanthropesmr

        Google -FU

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        cheater. I had it in my notes from when Commissioner Craddick told it to the Senate Finance Committee.

        • mancityRed6

          highlight the text and do google search. easy peasy. that’s why I’m a professional layabout.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            you wouldn’t even know there was such a thing if I hadn’t sat through those hearings. but I got the extra special privilege of listening to the other two RRC Commissioners. one of them even thought they had something to do with railroads. poor Christi.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      But then where will we get the orphan oil? Fresh-squeezed orphans?

      • mancityRed6

        none of that frozen from concentrate shit for me, thanks.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        from stolen oil skim.

    • Gary Charound

      Nothing. Mexico will indirectly reimburse us somehow, someday.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        how much does it cost Mexico to plug an orphan oil well?

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Nothing because why do you hate jerb creators? JERB KILLING REGULATIONS!!!!!eleventy!!!!

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        we are creating jerbs for oil pluggers.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        it’s not like we’re plugging the wells that have homes.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          But something something the free market will handle it somehow.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            I prefer the liberty market. it has more freedom for sale.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            also too: we’re going to contract the plugging out to a plugging company. so it’s pretty freedomLIBERTY market already.

    • OutOfOrbit

      How deep/pipe size?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        it’s a general question.

        • OutOfOrbit

          The cost of concrete to fill to full.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            right: $11-30 thousand for land wells.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      How many roads must a man walk down?

      Who knows where the time goes?

      Who can say where the wind will blow?

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Just the cost of their shots.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        not so hot.

  • RickyG
    • gallbladder

      Snack time (mid-morning.)

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Russian TV is… something else.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwj76o9KiMQ

  • Left Coast Tom

    I love wine and don’t do pot, but for those with other preferences…the old Fetzer Vineyards property in Redwood Valley (Mendocino County) is being turned into a marijuana destination:

    Much like a winery that hosts tours and tastings, the Flow Cannabis Institute will build experiences around the operation. Visitors will eventually tour the facilities where small farmers test, dry, cure, trim, process, and package marijuana for distribution; learn about the plant in seminars and pairing dinners; take a yoga class; and stay at an on-site, pot-friendly bed and breakfast.

  • tehbaddr

    No bare breastessess or yoga pants? C’mon everybody likes boobies and ass!
    /ducks and covers waiting for rocks to be hurled

  • mancityRed6

    son of a monkey’s fucking uncle. thanks Msger. /sn

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “I blame myself” — Steve Martin as Wild & Crazy Guy

      Yeah, I blame Steve Martin.

      • mancityRed6

        well, poop
        game’s over now.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Okay, fuck me. I’ll turn it back on.

          • mancityRed6

            less than 2 minutes, pats up by 4

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Blake Bortles, you’re our only…… oh shit!

          • mancityRed6

            it’s the vikings or the eagles now.

  • Shrieking Harpy

    Apparently it’s National Hugs Day? If so hugs everyone, And, if not, hugs everyone!

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    LORAX 2020: WILL REPLACE FREE MARKET WITH LIBERTY MALL!

  • Phried Ω

    That is all, folks.

    • Phried Ω

      Hell of a leap.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      There are some Sundays I really hate Tom Brady and the Patriots.

      Well, every Sunday.

      • Phried Ω

        and sometimes Thursday, Saturdays , and Mondays.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Can we pay Giselle’s OB/GYN to install dentata?

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          Dentaco WITH tomatoes. Fuck you, crazy alkaline diet people!

      • JohnBull

        And the other days, too.

      • Toomush Stability

        Me, too…

      • Bub the very stable zombie

        I know what you mean – but I find it amazing to watch them make history again and again.

        • mancityRed6

          sounds like a yankees fan

          • Arolpin

            Hey now, the Yanks have been only decent the past couple of years. And they rebuild from the ground up.

          • mancityRed6

            and the Royals actually won one in the past few.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Bub’s from Canada. Maybe he’s a Leafs fan who needs something to root for.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Not too late for a North Korean missile strike. Just sayin’.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD
    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      It is not nice to fool otters.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: ALL OTTERS NICER!

    • mancityRed6

      OCD is not something to make fun of.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: SOMETHING IS NOT!

        • gallbladder

          I can’t stop laughing (and yes, I know what’s coming…)

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            LORAX 2020: I KNOW YES COMING!

    • altleftjohn

      They hadn’t otter done it.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: WHY I OTTER!

      • mancityRed6

        don’t confuse that upfist with the idea that I condoned that remark.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          LORAX 2020: CONFUSED UPFIST!

        • altleftjohn

          Oh, you’re no pun anymore.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            LORAX 2020: NO PUN! NO PUN! YOU’RE THE PUN!

          • Resistor Radio

            Who says???!

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            LORAX 2020: SEZ OH, ANYMORE!!!

    • Resistor Radio

      Dawwwww, I figured out that otters are my animal me

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: OTTERS R ME!

      • gallbladder

        Well, there’s always stackable cups.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          LORAX 2020: ALWAYS STACKABLE!

    • Lordpnut

      Appears to be looking for a handout of some kind.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    And somewhere up at 30 Rock, the executives sigh in relief that they don’t have to try and figure out how to hype Blake Bortles.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Pats Win! Of course they cheated though because accusing the better team of cheating is what you do.

    • Phried Ω

      Sore winner?

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Nah. Just waiting for the inevitable “Patriots are always cheating” posts

    • shivaskeeper

      When you are a known cheater it is going to be assumed you cheated. It’s the same thing as if you are known liar. People tend to think you are lying when you say something.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        So they were accused of doing two things that other teams have been known to do, but they’re the cheaters. Has anyone ever pointed out that in the AFC Championship the “deflated balls” accusation was made by the Colts at halftime when they were beating the Pats handily. The balls were checked and reinflated and the Pats still ended up beating the Colts? No. No one ever brings that up. Or the fact that Bill Cowher himself said that video taping other teams practice was standard stuff if you could get away with it? Nope. Or the fact that Brady served his 4 game suspension, but still won the Superbowl that year? Nope. Keep telling yourself they’re cheaters since not giving a great team their due is typical of sore losers.

        • shivaskeeper

          I don;t really care about the Pats either way. This version of sportsball is not one of the ones I follow.

          Two things.

          1 )Perception is reality for most people. The accusations of cheating have followed them for years, so they must be true. This happens all the time. As far as deflategate, my understanding was they didn;t need to cheat since they pretty well outclassed the Colts from start to finish, but they did anyway.

          2) It does not matter who else cheats if they are the ones who got caught.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Well that’s a relief.

      (ducks to avoid incoming shoes)

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      What a surprise.

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • Daniel

      I wish someone would teach him how to do a tie properly.

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        Tighter knot?

        • Daniel

          With votes.

        • Phried Ω

          13 coils?

          • SDGeoff3

            Thank you. For starters.

        • Doug Langley

          True fact: I once did a little computer animation for a marriage counseling service called Tighter Knot.

      • Bub the very stable zombie
      • Ill-Advised

        That, and I wish he knew how to do that pose in appropriate context, as well as position…But he doesn’t believe in putting his cards on the table!

      • generalleeme

        I am pretty sure Mueller is getting the noose ready…

    • shivaskeeper

      Some sort of power stance?

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Yup because he’s a paper tiger and likes to “look” tough like most alphas.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          People with ACTUAL power don’t need to play those stupid games.

      • Looks like he’s getting ready for his protologist’s finger.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      That pose does nothing to make his hands look any larger or more attractive.

      • Phried Ω

        Sort of hoof like, now that you mention it.

        • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

          Like a hoof wanker.

          • Phried Ω

            Bunglecunt.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Hey! I resemble that remark!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I’m shocked that his little hands can support so much weight!

    • RMKH

      Fucking shit libelz!!

    • Daniel

      He thinks he looks dynamic and powerful. He looks like he’s just farted so hard he’s tipped forward.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      must resist the urge to spraypaint over. only have one magic typewriter.

    • SDGeoff3

      Fraud. Con artist. Fraud.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      I have never seen anyone with a desk that empty unless it was just setup.

      • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

        Or you were packing to move.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          That too. Is he resigning and moving to his trash palace?

    • akryan

      the sad thing is that he really thinks that he looks totally cool and presidential. he actually doesn’t think that posing for photos like those just makes him look pathetic.

      • Daniel

        This here is what he thought being president was.

  • jaspersdad

    Ah well……Go Vikings!

  • Suse
  • Bub the very stable zombie
  • mancityRed6

    and there’s this:
    http://www.nj.com/eagles/index.ssf/2018/01/photos_riot_police_on_horses_storm_parking_lots_be.html
    “Despite the late kickoff, Eagles fans were seen arriving to the stadium to start tailgating as early as 7 a.m. EST on Sunday.”
    “I would advise you not to be over-inebriated,” Steve Erban said, “because they (Eagles fans) will be.”

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Philly phan is violent?

      No Phucking way.

      • mancityRed6

        I know, right?

        • Phried Ω

          Same fans for Phillies, 76ers, and Flyers.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      they were training bike and horse police at our rally. it was cute.

    • HazooToo

      E! A! G! L! E! S! I HATE FOOTBALL!

      • SDGeoff3

        x 10000000000 and many commas.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      The city apparently took the precaution of greasing all the lightpoles near the city center to prevent Eagles fans from climbing them.

    • harryr
      • mancityRed6

        that’s usually not the reason for an arrest at a futbol game

  • Beelzebubba

    Tom Brady is not sweating – that’s condensation from the ice water in his veins.

  • CripesAmighty

    An odd little nice time: round these parts, there is a venerable public affairs program, “Black Issues Forum”, which is known for its gravitas, and tackling weighty and thorny questions.
    Today, in the middle of all this existential peril and associated Sturm and Drang, they’re having a lively conversation around black womens’ hairstyles as discussed in a guest’s new book, ‘Hairlooms’. While culturally important, it’s a cheerful, affirming discussion.

    • Wonky “BeefTwister” McGoo

      black women’s hair is a sorely underappreciated art form

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    It’s not all rainbows and sunshine farts for Bostonians (current and former). The Celtics lost in embarrassing fashion to a not-very-strong opponent today.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Depressing if it’s anyone but Toronto. (I have a soft spot for Canuckistani teams in general because Canada.) Considering you said “not very strong” I’m going to guess there was no one named “LeBron” or “Dwyane” on the squad.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        The Raptors aren’t half-bad. What they’re doing in Toronto is a complete mystery.

  • weighmaster

    WooHoo! I just plugged my firestick into the tv!

  • Michael R

    It’s time to check in with ZB
    It was 60 degrees today so … swimming

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5bba130c5b616cde8fead70c1e78fb345b8c266fcca38356ceebf5a23d36c8f4.gif

    • Resistor Radio

      That pup is living the life

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    I don’t care what is being said, New England didn’t win the game, Jacksonville lost it. 92 yards in penalties? Ye gods and little fishes.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      My God! Anything you guys can do to avoid having to admit the the Pats won.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Hmmf. You Furrin Europeens just don’t understand.

    • Phried Ω

      The key seemed to be the two penalties at the end of the second quarter drive.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Yeah, that was so stupid I expected the Jags to put on Leafs uniforms.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          Last time I checked the Leafs were in a playoff spot.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            Still months to go. Besides, we Leafs fans know they usually make it to the playoffs, and then choke in the first round. The Leafs haven’t won a Stanley Cup since the CBC started televising in colour.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Well, if it’s any consolation, I’ll root for the Expos if neither the Red Sox nor Cubs win.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD
    • Lord Stanley

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: STORD LANLEY!

      • mancityRed6

        and his majestic cup

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Lucy Van Pelt?

      • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

        No, Marcy. Sir?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: PELTING LUCY’S VAN!

  • Blackest Noobs

    so am i banned? keep seeing sporadically some posts by others as blank space. like they’re posting something, and others can see it and reply to it…i just see blank space.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Unless you did something naughty that I missed, I don’t think you are banned. Is refreshing your browser not helping?

      • Crank Tango

        Just copiously blocked.

        • SDGeoff3

          Dead to me.

      • SDGeoff3

        Some of us have blocked this one for assholery. Not surprising if it hasn’t figured it out. It started out benign and got rather nasty for a couple of days. Done.

        • Martini A, very stable genius

          Ah, I understand.

        • Resistor Radio

          I can’t tell who this is because they’re blocked, and I don’t often block people, so they probably deserved it

          • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

            Blackest N00bs. And you haven’t missed anything since.

          • Resistor Radio

            Hrm. Yeah.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      It might be disqus being disqus.

      • SDGeoff3

        It might be payback for two days of racist taunts.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          I might have missed all of that.

          • SDGeoff3

            Good thing. It was very sick and incoherent.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      if you’ve blocked someone else, it’ll do that.

      • Blackest Noobs

        weird cuz usually just says blocked user, not i see they posted something but the something is blank.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          I dunno then.

    • HazooToo

      Not banned, I can see you.

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • CripesAmighty

      Maybe check your settings. Perhaps you blocked somebody by mistake when giving one of the ‘lori’ iterations the gong?

      • Resistor Radio

        Today a black Land Rover Range Rover with tinted windows was tailgating me on a deserted stretch of highway and I admit I got a little bit scared that Lori was coming for me.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      The Safari browser on my iPhone is doing the same thing with Twitter links. Viewing the non-comments in the Chrome app works just fine though.

      • teele

        Using Firefox, and can’t see tweets for a week or so. I can hold down on the blue twitter link until a menu box pops up and open the link in a new tab. That takes me to twitter, which may show me the referenced tweet, or tell me I don’t have permission to view, or that I am rate limited. I guess I could stay logged in to twitter, but not really my thing.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        I find that if you do Hide Media from the Disqus profile menu, the actual Twitter link shows up in the comments, and you can click on it to read from there if you like.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      It could be Disqus failing spectacularly again. Depending on what the post is, and your browser or phone configuration, sometimes people share Twitter or Facebook things in a comment and that sometimes doesn’t show up. I know it doesn’t for me because I have an adblocker installed that also blocks out anti-social media annoyances. I always advise taking a screenshot of the tweet and sharing that for people who can’t access the actual site. That’s what I do, although I don’t post much content from Twitter and on the few occasions I do I’ll just go to it via a proxy server or something.

    • doktorzoom

      Far worse than banned — you’re having a normal Disqus user experience.

      Chilling, innit?

  • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

    England added 76 from the final six overs to compile 302-6 and then
    restricted Australia to 286-6 to take an unassailable 3-0 lead in the
    series.

    Yeah, take that Brady and the Celtics!

    • Phried Ω

      Is that good or bad?

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

        Anything that makes antipodeans sad is a positive.

        • Daniel

          Like the 3-0 white wash in the rugby last year. That was fucking lush.

          • mancityRed6

            I downloaded all the games in the 7 nations tournament when Wales won it all. ’07 was good. I think it was ’07

          • Daniel

            Six nations, and the last two tournaments have been great. Next one starts in two weeks. I worry Scotland will take it this year.

          • mancityRed6

            damn my horrible memory. but got a friend to admit rugby was better than American football.

          • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

            It’s a start.

    • Everrett Fanuelli
      • Phried Ω

        Cricketeers don’t wear a cup?

        • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

          Not fielders.

          • Phried Ω

            I’ll bet that guy does now.

          • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

            He’s a gentleman. I’m sure he has the testicular fortitude to …

            never mind.

        • mancityRed6

          cups are for the tea breaks

        • Daniel

          It’s called a box.

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

        Stop that.

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar
    • mancityRed6

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Ey-h-KUXA
      not Marley, but yeah still funny

    • mancityRed6

      usually England loses to the countries they used to control.

      • Daniel

        Possibly because of how many there are.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        England doesn’t have hockey though. I mean, technically the queen still has Canada in her portfolio, but more as a symbolic figurehead for ceremonial purposes. But now that we play “football” across the pond, I do often wonder what the Brits think of a team named for the war of American independence playing America’s game on their turf. If it does irk them a bit, I’m sure they’re comforted somewhat knowing that the result of the “Patriots” winning in 1776 has been replacing the divine right of kings with the divine personhood of corporations and the canonization of a B-movie cowboy, and then go get their feeling checked for free at one of their communist healthcare centres. The Tories are no picnic, but I think it’s a foregone conclusion that America won the war but Britain won the peace.

        • mancityRed6

          they have the American teams come over for games and they had their own London team for a bit.
          but they have rugby so they mostly make fun of us.

    • harryr

      Contrast and compare to their five-day performance (applies to both sides)

      • Daniel

        Sssh!

        • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

          Yes, we don’t talk about that.

          Also why the ashes are the ashes.

        • Ellen D.

          Totally offthread.

          Glorious news! Our cries and lamentations finally reached up to the heavens (or at least, swamped Fred’s inbox) and Frank has been sent packing.

          People have been asking about you so I thought I’d skip on over here and let you know that you’re missed.

        • Ellen D.

          Totally offthread.

          Glorious news! Our cries and lamentations finally reached up to the heavens (or at least, swamped Fred’s inbox) and Frank has been spanked.

          People have been asking about you so I thought I’d skip on over here and let you know that you’re missed.

          • Daniel

            Thank you. I’ve been taking a break because I’ve been at a new job which is leaving me knackered at the end of the day, and not really able to engage properly, as well as being increasingly tired of that persistent piss weasel Frank and his dimwitted acolyte NES. This last couple of weeks it’s just seemed like it would have required more energy than I have had left to ignore them and not get drawn into petty and pissy little spats over there, so I’ve been leaving it alone.

            I’m glad to know that turd has been flushed, again, though. He was a destructive force on the blog, and will be again once he decides to evade the banhammer again.

          • Ellen D.

            Congratulations on the new job, I hope that it’s good kind of tired.

            Yeah Frank’s been flushed – things finally reached crisis level on the Smart People thread, with several commenters saying they were bailing out, others apparently meeting on Discord where it’s moderated and by invitation only. I think that got Fred’s attention because he came through and deleted Frank’s 30 (!) comments on that thread and then kept going. I went back a month and looked at a thread and all of the weed’s excretions had been vaporized. He stuck his head up over the parapet on the most recent post last night and by morning he’d been obliterated so… bye bye Frank and good riddance to the little twat waffle.

            We’re still stuck with NES but at least he can be disqus-blocked.

            Gotta run, I’m getting injected/inspected/detected this week. Nothing serious, just a medical formality pretty much.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    The other animals even got presents during Fiona’s birthday party.

    https://twitter.com/CincinnatiZoo/status/955107645500936192

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      ‘It’s okay but it’s no hatchet.’

    • Resistor Radio

      Omg, does Cincinnati zoo have ALL the cutest animals? Look at that belly! I want to rub that belly! (In theory, I do realize that bear would eat me if I tried)

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        They do have all the cute animals from their Twitter feed.

        • Resistor Radio

          Let’s go to the zoo, jp!

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            I really want to, lets go in the spring though so we are sure its warm enough for all the animals to be out.

          • Resistor Radio

            Sounds like a plan, I don’t know when it warms up in Cincinnati but probably March?

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            That works for me, how about the middle of March?

          • Resistor Radio

            Let’s do it!

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            Sounds like a date then. 🙂

          • Resistor Radio

            You’re on!

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            If your serious about that I will give you my email address.

          • Resistor Radio

            For real, a Fiona field trip would be awesome

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            If you want to go in March email me sometime, my email is jester punk 6 8 @ yahoo . com (Remove the spaces)

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m going to email you right now so I don’t lose the addy, also so you can delete that (probably don’t like having that stuff out there, lol)

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
          • Resistor Radio

            Omg she’s so squee!

  • Saw The Post this afternoon-it was excellent, watched Holy Grail, because I could. Now watching Avengers. Successful movie weekend!

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      You missed the sportsball. I commend your intelligence and superior taste.

      • I will always miss the sportsball

      • johnnyknj

        Not watching sports makes you cool?

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Dunno. This has more to do with being frustrated.

      • suziq

        ” I wouldn’t say I really missed it Ron.”

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Belichick sounds just as robotic during accepting the trophy as he does at a press conference.

    • SDGeoff3

      He gets paid. He doesn’t give a shit. None of them do.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      he wasn’t hired to be an emcee.

    • johnnyknj

      You can love or hate Belichick, but you have to admit he is really good at what he does.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD
    • Only appropriate response:

      https://youtu.be/ZcJjMnHoIBI

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: ONLY RESPONSIBLE!

    • Resistor Radio

      Am I going to hell for laughing so hard at this?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: NO HELL PENALTY FOR LAUGHING!

    • tehbaddr

      Sam I Am is delivering mail now?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        LORAX 2020: ALL MAIL DELIVERED BY IAMBIC SAMSONS!

  • Lordpnut

    In Phoenix, following Arizona’s medical marijuana initiative (1996), the local DEA issued a “supena” to several bookstores demanding records of customers who bought or ordered books on growing weed.
    In the backlash that followed, an agent in the local office asked “What’s more important, the First Amendment or some scumbag growing marijuana?
    To their credit, the bookstores didn’t fold.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Fucking rednecks can’t even spell. Sopiña (sopinha in Portuguese) is an affectionate diminutive term for a little bowl (or cup) of soup, especially when served to children or as a remedy for someone feeling ill.

      The word they were looking for, of course, is subpoena, which has nothing to do with the frontal organs of power bottoms, but is a Latin term meaning a legal request for information.

      Reminds me of when a bunch of idjits in Alberta were so pissed off that Rachel Notley, a woman of the left-liberal NDP (comparable to U.K. Labour), became the premier. They sought to launch a, wait for it: “kudatah,” or overthrow of the provincial government.

      Otherwise known as a coup d’etat.

      They somehow managed to get this wrong in a country where one of the official languages is French.

      • Zyxomma

        Head, meet desk.

      • Lordpnut

        I’ll be billing you for the beer that came out my nose.

      • The word they were looking for, of course, is subpoena, which has nothing to do with the frontal organs of power bottoms, but is a Latin term meaning a legal request for information.

        You’re telling me it doesn’t mean that the authorities have you by the balls?

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Well, OK, if you want to be “impolite” aboot it :)

  • I love Phil Coulson’s man crush on Captain America

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Who doesn’t?

    • Shan

      I’m bingeing Agents of SHIELD.

      • I stopped caring on that one last season. I feel bad about it though

        • Shan

          I’m still in S2.

        • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

          2 seasons ago. Whenever they started bringing the Inhumans into it all.

  • mancityRed6
    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      It’s all yours now. We’re through with it.

    • Resistor Radio

      Looks like a distant mountain range

  • (((Sedagive)))
    • Resistor Radio

      Love it. Don’t even need context.

      • (((Sedagive)))

        Today we are all beauty queens punching nazi wanna-be-POTUS.

        Also, too: everyone commented “his hands are too big.”

    • Mystery_Poster

      Beautiful.

  • Michael R

    Written in 2011 by Heather Havrilesky

    Defense Secretary: Mr. President, we have a situation developing in the Middle East.
    President Trump: Do you like what I’ve done with the Oval Office? Incredible, right? Have you ever seen anything like this?
    Defense Secretary: Mr. President, there’s a matter that…
    President Trump: I show this place to very few people. Presidents, Kings… and they walk in, they look around, and they really can’t believe what they’re seeing.
    Defense Secretary: It’s very nice, Mr. President, sir, but there’s a situation in Libya needs your attention. It seems that…
    President Trump: Get to the point, get to the point.
    Defense Secretary: We have fears that Muammar Gaddafi will begin exterminating those involved in…
    President Trump: You don’t like him very much, though, do you? Be honest.
    Defense Secretary: Excuse me?
    President Trump: Gaddafi. You’ve never been a big fan.
    Defense Secretary: Mr. President, I don’t think my personal feelings about….
    President Trump: Tell the truth!
    Defense Secretary: Well, I don’t know that his particular approach to the current crisis is one that…
    President Trump: Wow. You are a talker, do you know that? Could you please get to the point?
    Defense Secretary: I’m just saying that I wouldn’t necessarily endorse his particular…
    President Trump: That’s it! Look, I love you, but you never shut up. You really don’t.
    Defense Secretary: Mr. President, sir, you asked me if…
    President Trump: I’m sorry, I hate to do this, but… You’re fired.
    Defense Secretary: Sir, I was only answering…
    President Trump: Enough! Now get out of my office.
    Defense Secretary: Mr. President, sir! You asked me…
    President Trump: Get out of here! Out!
    Defense Secretary: Mr. President! I only…
    President Trump: Out! Goodbye!

    The Defense Secretary exits.

    President Trump: Wow. I love him, but what a chatterbox.
    Chief of Staff Ivanka Trump: He really took that badly.
    President Trump: Well, I had to do it. I had to.
    Chief of Staff Ivanka Trump: You did.
    President Trump: He left me no choice.
    Chief of Staff Ivanka Trump: That’s true.
    President Trump: I am running a great, great country. Who’s next?

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Blackest Noobs

      wait…what?!?

    • Zyxomma

      Awwwwww.

    • TJ Barke

      Why?

  • Tom Hiddleston as Loki in formal wear is the best thing ever

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Sophia

      Whoever thought to have Preston there is genius. I’ve seen therapy dogs used with children at trials. I never thought of this. I’m sure a lot of those girls needed him there.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Always wanted my dog to be a therapy dog but she would just end up biting the shit outta someone

  • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

    A former Trump campaign worker appointed at age 23 to a top position
    in the White House’s drug policy office had been let go from a job at a
    law firm because he repeatedly missed work, a partner at the firm said.

    While in college, late in 2014 or early in 2015, Taylor
    Weyeneth began working as a legal assistant at the New York firm O’Dwyer
    & Bernstien. He was “discharged” in August 2015, partner Brian
    O’Dwyer said in an interview.

    “We were very disappointed in what happened,” O’Dwyer
    said. He said that he hired Weyeneth in part because both men were
    involved in the same fraternity, and that the firm invested time
    training him for what was expected to be a longer relationship. Instead,
    he said, Weyeneth “just didn’t show.”

    “He said that he hired Weyeneth in part because both men were
    involved in the same fraternity,”

    I don’t understand America sometimes.

    • Ling Ling

      Oh, I think you do understand. Remember the clowns Bush Jr. sent to run Iraq?

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

        Oh, yeah, I remember that.

        Also Jared “moron” Kushner solving the middle east issue.

        • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

          Ron Howard narration from Arrested Development

          He didn’t.

          • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

            Yeah, that’s REXXON’s job. Maybe.

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Right now it’s Pence’s job to fuck things up even worse over there. Although, the blame might be shared 50/50; I think he brought Mother with him like usual, because teh Bahble sez them Ay-rab girls are known for doing their sexy seven-veils dances, and teh Jewish girls own the media or something something like that.

          • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

            Is Mother covering her hair, like a common Mary? Or is that too “arab”?

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        And Afghanistan, also too.

    • tehbaddr

      Bro, you didn’t get the txt? Oh, right you’re not one of us, maybe we’ll let you start as a custodial.

    • mancityRed6

      don’t try. just make sure Boris doesn’t travel.

    • Blackest Noobs

      funny, i wonder if anyone will say maybe it’s because white people are lazy.

      • hudson

        my 2 cents. white people are not lazy. from my experience, it’s that they won’t do things if it does not make sense to them. and some them cannot make sense of a lot of it even in the face of evidence. you know the belief brigade kinds? same as idiots anywhere,

        • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

          That seems a tad racist to me?

          • hudson

            you insult me and my creed. only a tad? i’m a full blown toad of a racist.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I don’t insult you or your creed. And you’re welcome to be racist if you want, I just don’t like it.

            “white people are not lazy. from my experience, it’s that they won’t do things if it does not make sense to them.”

            Rather a sweeping statement, I feel.

          • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

            Actually, I agree if it said “white men”. I would have said:
            “white people men are not lazy. from my experience, it’s that they won’t do things if it does not make sense to them.”
            Given that white women also too majority voted for Trump, I gave it a pass.

          • hudson

            hi cynmac, for me it’s about who is aligned to what principles, right? for me i have seen a lot of people to know that the center is not where it is projected to to be, and i have seen enough harassment to know where the harassment comes from.

            in the south we always experienced it right? heck in a study circle meant to study monte carlo simulations, to which I invited a physics prof, I ended up apologizing to my colleagues and had to find the balls to throw prof out of it because the southern prof could not come up examples of stochasticity without mentioning chinese, indians or europoeans.

            being able to put the profs names on my resume would have been personally beneficial. but kicking them out and us outsiders working on heteroscedasticity and doing fundamental work on it was worth it

          • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

            Trust me, I have seen the same behavior from black men, being a black woman. But when confronted with facts, most black men will at least STFU. If presented with “when you say x, it makes me feel y”, they will back down. But there is something about some/most white men that will just not let them concede a point that they feel strongly about.

          • hudson

            there is an overlap of both the central and off-central distributions across all races/cultural groups. i’m fairy convinced that where the center is, varies a bit across groups, but even then the centers across groups are closer to each other than they are to the extremes even within their own group?

            this is racist? i think it is perfectly normal for centrists to find their normal in their own experience.

          • hudson

            fukui a bit of a serious answer to you.

            not every one in the west is a child of the renaissance or enlightenment. is that a wrong inference to make?

          • hudson

            fukui a bit of a serious answer to you. if you think i’m racist them i’m in trouble.

            not every one in the west is a child of the renaissance or enlightenment. is that a wrong inference to make?

      • Red Bird

        Repeatedly not showing up to work on time kind of falls in that category.

    • mancityRed6

      and farage, keep him there. they take the passports of hooligans so there’s precedent.

    • hudson

      merit based.

      i be leave in amerika. amerika has made my “fortune”. i raised my hopes in the amerikan way.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIBpHO1gZgQ

    • HazooToo

      “we were in the same fraternity” = affirmative action for white guys.

      • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

        Bro: Hey, I was in Phi Omega Kappa!

        Digby: Way to not get hired.

        I just don’t fucking get it.

        • HazooToo

          Clearly, the deck is stacked against him, since he has all of the advantages and yet minorities can still get the jobs he does not actually want bad enough to show up for, once he’s had them handed to him.

          • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

            At a goddamn NY law firm. By a partner with his fucking name in the title.

            But immigrants or something.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      America is easy to understand: Money. Always follow it. Sometimes power too, but usually money and power track the same curve.

  • Remember last year, when we were all breathlessly staring at a giraffe’s hoonanny wating for a babby to pop out, and then it did and, like, weeks later we were all, “FUCK YOU, GIRAFFES! WE ARE INTO HIPPOS, NOW!”?

    • wait! what?

      …and otter nonsense.

      • Resistor Radio

        Otters are not nonsense! You take that back!

        • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

          Yeah! Mustelids for the win!

          • Resistor Radio

            I must! I must! I mustelid or bust!

          • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

            Remember when Obama shared a nothingburger with the fanciest Dijon mustelids? Good times, good times…

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          What about Otter Pops?

          • Resistor Radio

            Otter pops are delightful.
            True story: one summer I worked landscaping at college, like 100-120F all summer, it was brutal. We had an entire deep freeze in the shop full of otter pops left over from kids who moved out of the dorms and I practically lived off of those that summer. Seriously the most physically brutal job I’ve ever had, sweating enough to eat 10 otter pops a day and still lose weight.

      • Shan

        Otters are the best.

    • Toomush Stability

      Well, you see one giraffe’s hoonanny and you’ve seen ’em all…

      • wait! what?

        Her kid was the original vegan baby butthole model.

  • RMKH

    Vikings touchdown celebration was Curling. That’s my favorite so far.

    • tehbaddr

      Like sweeping the “end-zone?” with brooms? But no ice? What kinda sportsball madness are you getting on bout?

      • RMKH

        The guy who scored used the football as the stone and the sweepers (if that’s what you call them) had imaginary brooms but yeah, you’ve basically got it. Sportsball at its finest.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Wow. That’s international sportsball. Practically veering into Canuckistani multiculturalism there. Did they get a fake penalty from Trump for unnecessary cleverness?

        • tehbaddr

          And I thought I was being flippant!

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    After their touchdown, Vikings players played curling with the football as a celebration dance. Gotta respect that.

  • HazooToo

    Currently in a mood where I am butthurt over someone being annoyed with me for being angry about politics. Feel like I can’t explain myself to them without them shutting up for another fifteen minutes and then abruptly changing the topic to stupid videos, with no resolution. Like okay, you fucked up sharing a thing with me that you thought made sense, and I told you it was bullshit. “I forget you’re a crazy liberal sometimes XD”. Well, I fucking am. And so are you. You just don’t fucking know it, because you’re not fucking American! /endrant.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Stab them with a fork

      • HazooToo

        I would, but I LOVE her and she’s also across an ocean.

        • Sheepshagger

          Maybe send her the fork with instructions?

          • HazooToo

            I could do that! Good thinking!

        • Gonna need a L-O-N-G fork…

      • Lordpnut

        Indeed. Embrace the butthurt. Revel in it.

    • mancityRed6

      brexit. bring it up

      • HazooToo

        I would. But she voted Leave.

        • mancityRed6

          heck, even my ex voted stay. damn.
          I’m not gonna judge. for some reason the Joplin woman has a lot of the O’Reilly “killing” books.

          • HazooToo

            She was fussy about people in Belgium telling the UK what to do. I don’t remember who it was on here, but one of our UK Wonks laid out some pro’s for leaving, and they sounded like her position. Fucked if I can remember them all now, though. All I know for sure is, if she lived here, she would be a fucking Democrat.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Yeah, sometimes I have to catch myself when I’m talking to folks who aren’t quite as invested as I am.

      • HazooToo

        It’s frustrating, isn’t it? I think it’s worse now, because of the national gaslighting.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          It is. It’s why I come here.

    • tehbaddr

      Mmmm, yes the butthurt. There seems to be a lot of that going around. Do not let the Psychological manifestation turn to Physical. For if you do, they will snicker and laugh behind your back at the check out, all those savings size tubes of Preparation – H!

      • HazooToo

        <3 Thank you, I will try to ease the pain before I need a wheelbarrow for my massive hemorrhoids.

    • Toomush Stability

      Less butthurt, more enthusiasm. We’re gonna fucking turn this around. Did you see those women this weekend? Do you think anything in this country actually happens without women?…

      • HazooToo

        I was very much happy to see it. I had worried we had stopped protesting, so it was really refreshing to see how massive the crowds were! I absolutely despise how quick the NYT was to minimize them.

  • tehbaddr

    So, that application is finished and out! Tough questions regarding teaching disadvantaged kids. Took a few hours and some thoughtful crafting. We shall see…

    • HazooToo

      Good luck!

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      What do you mean by disadvantaged? What type of teaching job is this?

      • tehbaddr

        Wealthy kids who wanted into Ivy league, but had to settle for second tier, no wait that was my old job!

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          I’m asking because I’m a special ed teacher in a title 1 school

          • tehbaddr

            The premise is socio-economically disadvantaged, and whatever comes along with that.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            You’re not really answering my question are you?

          • tehbaddr

            I’m in the dark, basically I figure it’s somewhere k-12, with my background teaching science. Depends on where I fit well. Multiple cities are involved in the project. Maybe I can start an after-school re-animation club.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            The brain can survive death from 6 to 12 minutes!

          • tehbaddr
          • Everrett Fanuelli

            May I suggest you use a pen next time, Mr. West!

          • Toomush Stability

            Yay, you!….

    • Bill Diaz

      I used to work for the NAACP on a NASA funded enrichment program for inner city youths in Baltimore. It was a blast and hope you enjoy your time. There is no feeling like the one you get when you look into a child’s face and see the light of understanding go on.

      Have a great day!

  • Moar Wordz

    Woot-woot !

    ” Now you pissed off my Grandma ! ”

    ” Those lies Make Your Ass look Big. “

  • Sheepshagger

    “Men: talk less”. I saw a guy on twitter lecturing Chris Hadfield about what went on at the international space station. I wouldn’t probably lecture an astronaut about astronauts things.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Probably an idjit who thinks the moon landing was fake too.

  • Donkey Option

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/848ad5c675da349d12d8f8b2548b73d87919fc1c95a6e5d83a4c8d84ef44bb55.jpg

    That’s my family group (me, my husband, my parents’ friend, my mom, my mom’s neighbor) and our great signs from Hartford, CT. A small march (many from southern CT went to NY) but I think my sign was accurate :)

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Here’s what’s pissing me off the most about Rethugs trying to pin the shutdown on Dems. McTurtle needed 60 votes. From the 51 Rethug Senators he got a whopping 45. He also picked up 5 Dem votes.

    It’s McTurtle’s job to get to 60. When you need votes from the other party to pass a bill, you give them some of the shit they want. THAT IS HOW THIS WORKS. THAT IS HOW THIS HAS ALWAYS WORKED.

    Fuckers.

    • Sheepshagger

      Newt.

      • mancityRed6

        that bastard poisoned politics as much as AM radio did.
        there is no pit in hell deep enough for his fat ass.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I don’t count McConnell’s no because that’s a procedural move so that the bill can be brought back up again. If he had voted “yes” they would have had to start from scratch on everything.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Fun fact that I did not know. Thanks.

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      Dumbass. Arrogant dumbass.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Except the lazy media isn’t really pointing that out and most of the American public has Tucker Carlson face.

      • Toomush Stability

        MAYBE WE NEED TO BE LOUDER!…

    • Also, this shit happens EVERY TIME the GOP has any power.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      There wasn’t even enough time to negotiate, the house passed their part early Friday morning then sent it to the senate and said they wont change anything.

      • mancityRed6

        fuck the house. that freedom coalition or whatever the teabaggers call it almost killed it.

        • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

          Yep, also they had a month since the last CR to come up with something but they waited for the last minute to even start working on it without any Democratic input in the house. Now they want a CR until the 8th so we can do the whole thing again in a few weeks.

          • mancityRed6

            they held CHIP hostage. pure and simple.

          • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

            Yep, they had 9 months to reauthorize it before it expired then 4 months after it expired. But instead they rushed through tax cuts for the super rich and now put up CHIP as a bargaining chip to get even more military funding and funding for the stupid wall.

    • SayItWithWookies

      It’s really the Democrats’ fault for holding Republicans to a deal they had already agreed to. For shame — they’re supposed to accept CHIP reauthorization, which would’ve happened anyway, and a few empty promises instead.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      “Yeah, well, they have to give us something we want, but none of them will vote in favor of letting sick children die and brown people get deported so that tax cuts can pour in more money for our shareholders! Nothing but a bunch of stubborn ideologues!” -Turtle

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      No, they are delivering on their campaign promise.They run on the premise that government is dysfunctional and then prove it when they are elected.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Went to lunch with a friend today. She was dumbfounded as I explained everything that happened on the trip to Dallas. She was really supportive, and asked some good questions that I need to think about. I think she realized I needed to talk to someone about how I felt because stuffing it all in a mental box is not good health-wise.

    • Yeah, bottling these things up will only harm you.

    • Lord Jim

      It’s wonderful that you have an understanding and helpful friend like that.

  • spangled
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      He might since he’s a Russian tool

    • Crank Tango

      Don’t all DC experts live in Brazil?

      • spangled

        “Greenwald greets me in his cathedral-like living room dressed in his usual shorts and polo. When I joke that he lives in a gated community — a guard in a booth controls access to the street — he seems wounded and explains that he could afford the place only because the recent Brazilian recession had devastated Rio’s housing market. He plays coy when I ask him who owned the house previously. “I think it was some hedge-fund pig,” he says.”

        EW!

        • Crank Tango

          The only place you can afford is in a gated community? Seems logical.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Cool story, bro.

    • HazooToo

      Morgan Freeman voice: “No… He does not.”

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
  • Toomush Stability

    I hope all these women organize, run candidates and support them! That’s a lot of women out there!…

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I hope they all vote

      • Shan

        Tne 53% of white women voters who voted for Trump, not so much. If they haven’t seen the error of their ways by now (ha!) I hope they just stay home next time.

    • divegrl

      That is the idea. In KS, alone, there are more women running for offic3 than ever before and more women campaigning for them. Laura Lombard is running for the 4th Congressional seat currently held by Republican Ron Estes. She will have to defeat James Thompson in the primary but she has a good chance of that. She is smart, articulate, caring and has expertise in international trade, which will be helpful with relationships with other countries.

  • bluicebank

    Just noticed a Raw Story piece, cribbing from a Game of Thrones geek site, speculating as if Kremlinologists during the Cold War, about spoiler clues to the next season. Spoiler: mayhem ensues.

    Now, I know what you’re thinking. The whole GoT story is ridiculous. But I will remind you that we live in this evil parallel universe where Trump exists as POTUS, and that incompetent leadership among White Walkers, a blonde-with-dragons, and everyone else besides the cook, seems plausible.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/key-scenes-for-game-of-thrones-season-8-may-have-been-revealed/

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      “Now, I know what you’re thinking. The whole GoT story is ridiculous.”

      No. I am not thinking that. I would never think that.

      Shame!

      • bluicebank

        “Shame?” Cersei snorted. “I was sleeping with the Russians, too.”
        (apologies to Warren Zevon.)

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Dany’s dragons could roast the yam, with the obligatory votes.

  • Resistor Radio

    Alright gang, are we rooting for philly or the Vikings?

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Vikings. I am not a big football fan but my nephew likes the Vikings.

    • mancityRed6

      yes

    • HazooToo

      no

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I’m leaning towards the Vikings, because they have been such sad-sack losers for a long time, and because it’d be neat for a team to play in the Super Bowl at their own home stadium.

      • mancityRed6

        just so long as they can beat the pats

        • Resistor Radio

          This is my only care as well. Yay mancity, we like and hate the same teams. You cool, man.

          • mancityRed6

            hell yeah baby

        • thewalkindude

          One billion upfists

    • Ling Ling

      Is Norway attacking us now?

    • Lordpnut

      Straight up don’t give a fuck.
      So Vikings.

      • Resistor Radio

        Same :)

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Not telling

      • Resistor Radio

        So coy!

    • hudson

      how about ginger? one of the best, the most stable genius roots ever?

    • Rasilom

      Vikings

    • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

      CHELSEA

      • mancityRed6

        no
        and not Arsenal either.

        • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

          Yes.

          I’ll take my Russian oligarch over your bunch of oil chappies.

          • mancityRed6

            just so long as you don’t support Liverpool

          • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

            We can both agree to hate on the bindippers. We’re cool.

          • Most Stable Land Shark

            Gah! Who would support Liverpool? Even us ‘murikkans know that …

          • TJ Barke

            Russian oligarch is probably more likely to have you killed.

      • Resistor Radio
      • Most Stable Land Shark

        MAN CITY!

        • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

          Wait, I’m outnumbered.

          I shall fight to the end, sir or madam!

          Also, man city? More parvenu than the Chelsea, for Pete’s sake.

          • Most Stable Land Shark

            ‘Tis true, but they make reading the Daily Mail amusing.

        • msanthropesmr

          SPURS

          • SirDigbyChickenCaesar

            At least it’s not the Arse.

    • mancityRed6

      not for those damn Philadelphia ill eagles. I want to see bottles thrown.

    • Me not sure