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Oh hi, it is time for your Saturday top ten post! Usually we have Wonkette Toddler pictures in this post, but Wonkette Toddler is golfing with the king of France or something, like she does, so this week we have pictures of OUR VERY GOOD DOG. You see, we live down South, where it does not snow or ice that often, but this past week we have been snowed the fuck in and it has been awful and and we literally died, but it’s OK, we got better. (Because the temp went back above freezing.) So we took A LOT OF PICTURES of the dog this week. For instance, the picture above! And maybe some more at the bottom of this post, IF YOU ARE GOOD.

OK we will count down the top ten posts of the week in a minute, but first, let’s ask you for money. You like that idea? YEAH YOU DO. You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE, especially now that it’s 2018 and we have a chance to TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK! Or at least Congress! So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able — DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT — then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 361, Polson MT 59860 (new P.O box address! Update your address book!). Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

For instance, you could BUY ALL THE HATS! One says “IMPEACH!” (See below.) The others say “HELL. NO.” AND “LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE 2020.” Click here for more info!

There are many other products in Ye Olde Wonkette Generale Store! You should buy them!

Look, it’s the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. White House Doc Says President Beef Poots Only Weighs 239 Pounds, So That’s Some Bullshit. We award ourselves first prize for coining “beef poots.”

2. This Is How Joy Reid Tells An Idiot To Shut The Fuck Up. It was SO GREAT.

3. DONALD TRUMP WALL STREET JOURNAL RUSSIA TREASON NO DEMENTIA NO DEMENTIA YOU ARE THE DEMENTIA. One of TWO posts in the top ten about that interview!

4. Sniveling Piss Wipe Tom Cotton Gonna Call The Cops On Your Nana For SAYING WORDS TO HIM. We award ourselves first prize AGAIN for “sniveling piss wipe.”

5. If You Liked Grand Wizard Trump’s ‘Shitholes’ Routine, You’ll Looove This! It’s almost like the president is racist or something.

6. Roseanne Conner Does Not Deserve What Roseanne Barr Is About To Do To Her. For the second week in a row, we ask, can’t we just have a Darlene show?

7. Seven Things To Think About That Are NOT Trump Comparing Porn Star He Banged To His Daughter Ivanka. Do not think about that!

8. Donald Trump Finally Right: The World Is Laughing At Us And Our Shithole President. They really are, and it’s sad.

9. Trump Disproves Dementia Concerns By Shouting ‘WALL’ At WSJ Reporter For Three Straight Hours. The other WSJ interview post we were alluding to!

10. Here’s What The Fuck Is Going On With Steve Bannon And Robert Mueller. We figured it out! Just kidding, Rachel Maddow figured it out.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

You are very good, so here are two more pictures of VERY GOOD DOG:

OK bye.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

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  • Nounverb911
    • eyelashviper

      And most importantly, a sweep for bugs, viruses, malware, and gopers.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I, of course, saw that last category as gropers.

        • Querolous

          gopers≜gropers?

        • eyelashviper

          There’s a difference?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Is it plugged in?

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        I can’t tell. It’s dark in here because we are experiencing a power outage…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    What a good dog! I wonder if she knows the difference between counting UP (1→10) and counting DOWN (10→1).

  • Most Stable Land Shark

    Where’s the squeaky chicken?

  • Awww, poor Southerners all snowed in. To me, that is what the first snow looks like, or the surprise snow you get in late sping, aftrr thought all this snow shit was over

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      We are in greasy kid’s stuff/frozen slippery brown ice land for the next two months.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Parakeetist

    O hai! Who’s a good dog? You is! Yes you is! Squeeeeeee

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Obama made two visits to meet the troops in the field in his first year. Three if you stretch the point to March. And this was during ACTIVE wars.
      But, hey, Bone Spurs, you do you.

  • Bill D. Burger

    With Preacher Pence’s aid, Trump has come up with a plan to deal with the government shutdown:

    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/606/504/d20.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
    • wide_stance_hubby

      I hope she sees this. Bless her idiot heart.

    • RickyG

      “MAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA!”

    • Christopher Story

      The zombie apocalypse could never happen, they said. There’s no such thing as zombies, they said.

    • willi0000000

      The Chattering Order of St. Beryl . . . ?

  • puredog

    That dog appears to be well-nourished, or maybe it’s just the camera angle.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      The camera adds ten pounds. Which is a lot, in dog years.

      • wait! what?

        How many cameras were used to take that picture?

    • EvanHurst

      yeah she’s a fatass

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Lula….lu lu lu lu lula
    l u l a lulaaaaaaaa

    • Bill D. Burger

      “That’s the sound Trump makes during sex when his dentures come loose.”
      ___ Stormy

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
    • Jeffocaster in the West

      decisions decisions

    • MynameisBlarney

      Crapist!

      No…wait…

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Play the C. Always unload the C as soon as you can because there are no two-letter words with C.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        IK,R?

      • Left Coast Tom

        French has “ce” and “ca”.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          What is that, communism?

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            Oui.

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I have an idea. 3d Scrabble. Then you can play both letters.

  • Michael R
    • eyelashviper

      Always wonderful to see dogs who are not familiar with snow…they go nuts like this. Also too, throwing a snowball into the snow is hilarious, as they dig furiously looking for it, and give you looks of befuddlement…

      • MynameisBlarney

        Makes me want to take my doge to see some snow, for about a second.

        • eyelashviper

          Shaved ice?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’ll just show her that gif.

          • OutOfOrbit

            make a vulvatine smoothie!

          • The Wanderer

            “Vulvatine?”

          • OutOfOrbit

            oh yeah!

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Or try to catch it.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      ‘OMGSNOWSNOWSNOWSNOWSNOWSNOW!’

    • willi0000000

      good dog!

      no dog has more fun in the snow (or water . . . it’s just melted snow) than a black Lab.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Geez, I read this Top Ten lists and I think “Surely you mean monthly or even annual Top Ten, right?”

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I know. Wasn’t that physical back in August?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Bub the very stable zombie
  • Martini A, very stable genius

    In honor of Lula, I will go out and frolic in the snow without pants. Well, except there is no snow here.

    • SDGeoff3

      The neighbors should be used to that by now.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        Right?! Let it go already! Geeze, if I had a nickle for every time somebody called the cops about drunken frolics or braying at the moon or nudity or whatever…

        • SDGeoff3

          I would think so. I would just think to myself, “well, there goes Martini again with the frolicking naked and incoherent babbling. Must be a good day over there.” Yes, that is what I would think.

    • Dutchman
  • Bill D. Burger

    Next presser should be a doozy’!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP4cOuOX0AAaUp_.jpg

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      “Tell A lie?!? *snort* Washington was a PUSSY!”

      Press Sec Poot Lips.

    • folderol

      He got the eyes backwards.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Dutchman
    • Bill D. Burger
      • The Wanderer

        All in all
        It’s just a
        Nother shit in the hall.

        • Mentally Stable Ron
          • Opalescent Riddles

            It’s a scene from the early afternoon Bannon-cam. I say early afternoon because by mid afternoon, he’d be face-down and all we’d see is the carpet itself.

          • Jane

            Google is paying me 98 dollars /h to complete esay tasks from the comfort of home .. Labor for only few peroid of time in a day & stay more time with your relatives … You can also apply this work…last Thursday I bought a brand new Subaru Imprezaafter just earning $13582 this-past/four weeks .it sounds my favourite-work however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t see this.!ww87n:⇛⇛⇛ http://GoogleCashCareerCloudWorkFromHome/more/cash ♥♥g♥♥e♥♥t♥x♥♥♥h♥i♥v♥♥♥l♥♥z♥♥m♥♥♥q♥♥q♥♥♥l♥♥♥g♥u♥l♥♥e♥a♥♥b♥♥♥t♥u♥♥z♥♥♥x♥♥♥j♥c:::::!iw472n:lhuhuh

          • dslindc

            FAKE NEWS! SAD!

      • Eileen Besse

        THIS! ALSO TOO!

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS!!! LURVE!!!

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    I’m becoming obsessed with watching interviews of Michael Wolff. I can’t get enough of his thoughts on what absolute miscreant, dirtbag, fuck-ups Donnie and his cabal are. Even if the entire book was a work of fiction, it’s just so (temporarily) satisfying. Guess I’ve gotta break down and buy the damned book. I can write it off as a medical expense – therapy.

  • RickyG

    Good Dog for a Prezident!!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    No offense to Lula, but she looks like a seal in that last pic.

    • pstokk

      Well, Labrador, so maybe some hanky panky out amongst the ice floes??

  • Fartknocker

    After a very cold, wet, kinda rainy, no sun week followed by the 1st anniversary gift from President Shit Fer Brains which is to close the US government because he’s a repugnant fuck,I decided that today I’m not going to cook food and instead eat at some nice businesses AND catalog my favorite phrases from Wonkette and send them to US Embassy in Scotland. The people of Scotland have beautiful phrases to mock people.

    In honor of Evan’s fine and beautiful dog I’m starting with
    – Beef poots
    – Sniveling piss wipe

  • MynameisBlarney

    Speakin’ o’ doges, gotta go get doge fud.
    Catch y’all later.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    I was going to start my taxes this weekend but because there is a government shutdown, I don’t have to do them, right? I mean who would I send them to? Fuck ya! SHITDOWN!!!! Uh, I meant shutdown…..

    • Ryan Denniston

      I did my taxes and now my refund will be delayed for who knows how long. THANKS OBAMA!!!

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        They are taking refunds and funding the government (that is Mar-a-lago trips) so you SOL……MAGA!!!

  • Bub the very stable zombie
  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • The Wanderer

      That dog will get all up in peoples’ business.

    • Nockular cavity

      “You never know what’s gonna crawl out when you upend every trash can in this burg.”

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Gotta say that Bill K has a good observation about Forbes PR:

    //twitter.com/BillKristol/status/954215148029382656

    https://twitter.com/BillKristol/status/954215148029382656

    • Kateaux

      The gifs people posted in reply to that twittery thing are priceless.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bill! Stop making me laugh and agree with you. It isn’t natural.

      https://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/58374594/dammit-bill.jpg

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Will anyone want to touch Forbes Magazine, now that they know where it’s been?

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • Courser_Resistance

    Day 1 of the Shithole Shutdown in the Courser household:

    GOP = Masters of Disaster https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dd31e23072a35da3293a7f7bb45fcb45b03fe4587ade380f31a6aa482ceaa7f7.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      I used my Keep Calm and Carry On mug for my morning coffee.

      • Ellie

        I used my Nevertheless She Persisted.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      That room looks way too tidy.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Is that coffee? I hope you made enough for the rest of us.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/11kw8PgxsZcjew/giphy.gif

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    So the Republican dream has come true. They control the House. They control the Senate. They have a racist, fascist President. They can fund anything and everything. Nukes, Walls, Hookers, you name it. And what do they do? Blame the Democrats for shutdown. Ah….MAGA!!!

    • The Wanderer

      These idiots couldn’t catch clap in a brothel.

    • Nockular cavity

      Republicans to Democrats: “It’s your fault we’re getting evicted, because you wouldn’t loan us the money to pay our rent!”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      At least there’s one man who knows where the blame belongs.

      https://twitter.com/WillBlackWriter/status/954711833277091840

  • Nounverb911
    • bupkus231

      I got a feeling that if they tried that with Rump, that lasso would be a noose.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Mr President, I didn’t mean it to go around your neck. Would you like me to remove it? What’s that? I can’t hear you. Well, as long as you don’t mind…’

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    So the Pilot of Air Force One went to get the plane refueled and the guy filling it up says, “Hey, your credit card has been refused!” Trump is stuck in Mar-A-Lago…golfing, and having a good time.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    One thing I like about England (there are many things) is that people take their dogs into public parks and they pick up after them, unlike the part of the US where I live. This is Glastonbury Abbey, where they have Dog Loos, and people use them.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0729cbbe4406419395ebc7cef18040396d096915edadb0c330b1c86657c24da1.jpg

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Is that near the Torr where supposedly Arthur hung out?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes, the Tor is quite close to the Abby and to Chalice Well. In 1191 the monks at the Abbey allegedly discovered the grave of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere, but since this occurred during a time when the number of pilgrim visits to the Abbey had fallen quite low and the monks needed a new source of revenue, the discovery was a bit too convenient. The monks said they found an engraved cross inside the grave identifying the occupants, but that cross has conveniently disappeared.
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1751ebdd413324b442d536c9bf4b51c3bfa18575fca23336cc837ae550e57cd1.jpg , the discovery was very timely.

    • Covfefe

      If the British didn’t have “pay to poop,” people wouldn’t need to use the dog loo.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I live across the street from a huge apt complex. Lots of them have dogs and honestly, they’re pretty darn good about picking up after their dogs. Our side of the street is posted with Not Here graphic sign and it is respected. I’d know because it’s right under my windows. There’s a dedicated bin with bags there too.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I am very glad to hear it. Where I live the dogs can poop on my street or my yard right outside my windows and nobody cares and there are no laws against it other than a “nuisance” ordinance that the cops refuse to enforce. When I lived in St. Louis, one of my neighbors fenced in his back yard and let his little dog poop there every day for a year and he never cleaned up. The smell and the flies got so bad that his next-door neighbors couldn’t sit outside on their back porches in nice weather. He refused to do anything about it until I had the bright idea of calling the Health Department. But right across the street from him was a family with 3 Dobermans, and they always cleaned up their dog poop. Some people just have no sense of personal responsibility to others.

        When I lived in a courtyard apartment in St. Louis many years ago, the owner didn’t allow pets, but then the complex was bought by a new owner who allowed pets. Immediately about 8 of the 12 people living in my building got a dog and let it poop in the courtyard and never picked up after the dog. The smell got so bad I couldn’t open my living room windows, and the dog pee killed all the evergreen bushes that were planted by each front door. I complained to the owner, he did nothing, so I moved out, and I told the owner WHY I was moving, and he still didn’t care.

    • The Wanderer

      Glastonbury . . . so THAT’s the Holy Grail?!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I don’t think they have the Grail, but they do have Chalice Well, which is a spring at the foot of Glastonbury Tor, and archeological evidence suggests this well has been in use for at least 3000 years. Christian mythology suggests that Chalice Well marks the site where Joseph of Arimathea placed the Grail, but that really is nonsense. But it’s entertaining nonsense, and it made the monks at Glastonbury very rich for centuries.

  • Michael R
    • folderol

      Are you implying that Trump draws better than I do? What are you saying?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Keep in mind, this was a tracing.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Beautiful dog, Evan. Though my angels would bark at her because she’s big (little guy complexes have no logic.)

    And on that note, I’m out for the day for the Women’s March, so you good Wonkers will have to pick up the “oh, for fuck’s sake” moments for me. Have a good day, everyone!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • Martini A, very stable genius

      (She’s running.)

  • alwayspunkindrublic
  • Nockular cavity

    WHO’S A GOOD GIRL?

    • The Only Cosmic Owl

      For my Pepper puppy, she is now a GREAT girl.

      She was having a sad over the lack of the superlative, see.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    This is Henri of Orléans, King of France. Or he would be if we didn’t consistently chop their heads off.
    He’s 84. So that should be an easy game for Donna Rose.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/153906d03a056b60d77d2110ade478566039ef896333718ba346d098f347c27d.jpg

    • The Only Cosmic Owl

      Pretender to the Throne, see.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        One of them. An imposter according to the Bourbons and Bonapartes, of course.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Get him to the guillotine!

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, but he needs to sort out the Bourbon and Bonapartist pretenders before he can go to Reims to be crowned.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        … And overthrow the Republic. Details, though.

        • The Wanderer

          Nappie III managed it. Went from being President to Emperor, by popular vote as I recall.

          • Lyly Sirivong

            True. And look how well that worked out for him (and France!) in the end.
            I think we learned our lessons. At least I hope so.

          • The Wanderer

            A quick reread, and I stand corrected. He orchestrated a coup d’etat as President, got approval for his government in a plebiscite, amended the Constitution, and after another national referendum was proclaimed Emperor.

            But I concede that it ended badly for him and the French nation.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He’s the Bourbon pretender.

        • The Wanderer

          The Orleanists, then. I think there’s about 4 pretenders for the French throne.

        • Lyly Sirivong

          No, the Bourbon pretender is in Spain.

        • Mike Steele

          Actually, that’d be Bannon

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            He doesn’t pretend, he just hides the bottles in his desk.

  • Victoria Ricola

    Hello Wonkers. Find a march and start walking if you can! These rotten motherfuckers deserve every mean sign they get!

    • Bub the very stable zombie
      • Victoria Ricola

        And cookies! Mine has cookies!

        • weejee

          And my fine pussy hat keep my pate so nice and warm.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        …with fancy calligraphy too.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Once again, my putative attendance at a march to support women has been overruled by the need to care for one particular woman. (She’s getting antsy about my going anywhere at all. I think she may be feeling her age. And history.)

  • folderol
    • Ellie

      So…does this mean the Secret Service gets time off?

      • folderol

        Why do you ask? Do you have lots of votes?

        • Ellie

          I was asking for a friend.

        • Covfefe

          No votes. Forbes magazine. With Donald’s picture on the front page.

      • Mike Steele

        Darn…and just when we read they were also assigned to protect Devin Nunes!

    • The Wanderer

      Fortunately, there’s no provision for rule by decree.

      • folderol

        You and your “provisions”. It is to laugh.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    My 14 year old Muslim neighbour’s daughter just came over to ask me what music I was playing and that she really liked it. Send her home with three Miles Davis CD’s. Let the trumpet battles begin.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      You have done a very good thing.

    • Can never go wrong with some Miles. Good job, comrade!

  • ariel_gee_398

    So…if the House won’t vote on any immigration bill that doesn’t call for an armed force at the border firing on any brown people who get too close, and the Senate can’t pass a bill without a DACA fix, how long is this stupid shithole shutdown going to go on?
    https://twitter.com/kyledcheney/status/954739668737765376

    • Mike Steele

      Why are we not surprised? Treason-weasel (“Let’s keep this in the family”) Ryan has been greasing the skids of this slow-motion train wreck since Day One.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I’m just genuinely curious as to how this gets resolved. If a shutdown goes on long enough, people might just realize how much the government does and stop hating it so much.

        • I am waiting for the press to notice that Ryan has now been instrumental in causing 2 government shut downs.

        • Mike Steele

          Have lived through enough of these to know that only some of the people miss their services. The remainder make hay of the fact that, since Earth was not obliterated by an asteroid during the shutdown, perhaps we don’t need government, after all. Lots of people suffering, but politically, it’s a push.

          • ariel_gee_398

            The longest has been less than a month – 21 days. Without strong leadership, and with an uncontrollable anti-immigration caucus in the House, there’s a chance this lasts longer than that. The longer it goes on, the more the impact will be felt by people who normally don’t pay attention. For example, the federal court system has 3 weeks of funding in place, but beyond that, what happens?

  • msanthropesmr
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “I can smell my own butt this way!”

      • msanthropesmr

        Yay!

        • Zippy49

          I think he’s just keeping his nose warm.

      • Covfefe

        Steve Bannon can commit the crime against nature on his own self. Can Beany do that?

  • schmannity

    Donna Rose golfs more than Tiger Woods.

    -DJT

  • Michael R

    “Does the president have a sin problem?” Witt asked.

    “I can promise you he is not President Perfect,” Graham replied.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQrmr0Ho14M&feature=youtu.be&t=4m52s

    • OutOfOrbit

      i heard that too and “we will pray for him”

    • Blackest Noobs

      Frankie is a false prophet, so how in the fuck would he know?

      • Frankie screamed and cried that we should not let Northern Virginians vote anymore since they keep voting for Democrats.

        • Blackest Noobs

          yeah i heard that one. maybe his dad wasnt always so political…i kinda vaguely remember Billy boy not being so much…maybe he was too…but Christ on a cracker, good old Frank takes the fucking communion cake!!!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Shorter Graham, “Trump will make me even richer. Fuck my dad!”

      • therblig

        dad was a scumbag in his own right:

        ”They’re the ones putting out the pornographic stuff,” Mr. Graham said on the tape, after agreeing with Mr. Nixon that left-wing Jews dominate the news media. The Jewish ”stranglehold has got to be broken or the country’s going down the drain,” he continued, suggesting that if Mr. Nixon were re-elected, ”then we might be able to do something.”

        Finally, Mr. Graham said that Jews did not know his true feelings about them.

        ”I go and I keep friends with Mr. Rosenthal at The New York Times and people of that sort, you know,” he told Mr. Nixon, referring to A. M. Rosenthal, then the newspaper’s executive editor. ”And all — I mean, not all the Jews, but a lot of the Jews are great friends of mine, they swarm around me and are friendly to me because they know that I’m friendly with Israel. But they don’t know how I really feel about what they are doing to this country. And I have no power, no way to handle them, but I would stand up if under proper circumstances.”

        http://www.nytimes.com/2002/03/17/us/billy-graham-responds-to-lingering-anger-over-1972-remarks-on-jews.html

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Yup. But as he aged he seems to have had an actual come-to-Jesus moment.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Watching her lick Graham’s ass degrading.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Franklin Graham has a sin problem, as he’s a Mammon worshiper.

    • Paperless Tiger

      It sounds like he’s confessing to something, but he won’t say what.

      • Michael R

        I caught that — ” We’re all sinners “

    • Covfefe

      Christians aren’t perfect, they’re forgiven. Demonrats aren’t perfect either. Nor are Demonrats Christians. Capisce?

    • Shibusa

      “Duh. He’s President Textbook Generic.” ~Stormy

      • goCatgo

        I wonder what her Alma Mater is ? What is this text she refers to ?

        • Shibusa

          Screw U?

  • OTB

    Thanks Evan, have a great weekend. May your preferred sporting franchise prevail in their contest!

  • Larry Wilmore last night coined “Sarah Huckabee Colonel Sanders”. Brain bleach, please. I need this gone.

  • ariel_gee_398

    What the shit, Dutch police?

    Police in the city of Rotterdam in the Netherlands are taking a controversial approach to reducing crime. They’ll soon begin a pilot program targeting young men in designer clothes that the police believe they couldn’t afford legally. If it’s not clear how the person paid for the clothing, the police may confiscate it.

    https://qz.com/1182962/dutch-police-are-confiscating-expensive-clothes-from-kids-who-look-too-poor-to-wear-them

    • OutOfOrbit

      i thought they was against the Nazis

    • Ellie

      Good grief. Just as I was admiring The Netherlands and their humor.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Designer clothes? Well, that rules me out.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Not having the pallor of a “drug dealer” will help, too, if you catch my drift.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          If they were targeting people dressed like bums, I’d have to do some scrambling.

          • goCatgo

            IKR ?

      • Zippy49

        Closest I get is “Lucky Brand” jeans at Costco….

    • The Wanderer

      So, will public nudity become fashionable in Rotterdam? Hopefully not in the winter.

      • goCatgo

        Prolly not. Real nudity is a pain in the ass.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Can they tell the difference between the real thing and a cheap knock off at a glance?

    • Lemme get this right: Poorz can’t get job unless they are dressed nice. Poorz buy nice outfit to get job. Dutch police arrest them and take their clothing?

      • ariel_gee_398

        More like: We know young men of color like designer clothes, and we think they are probably all drug dealers, so we’ll assume that’s how they buy their Gucci shit and take it from them.

        • Ay, but in reality, it is more like the scenario I put above.
          You know why poorz oft drive nice new cars? Cause financers will not loan them for a used cheaper one since the gov demands used cars have a lower APR and shit. And the APR they do charge them is close to 30%. Loopholes!

        • goCatgo

          That’s what I was thinking too. Mainly because in a Western Culture country, “poor” too often really means people of color.

    • weejee

      Sounds like something is Rotterdamning in Holland rather than Denmark.

      • Daniel

        Some are complaining, calling this a targeted attack on those who look weird in nice clothes. It’s being called Rotterdamerwrong, the Twilight of the Odd.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This sounds like like something Rudy Ghouliani would propose.

      • ariel_gee_398

        With a special assist from Bill Cosby.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      The Fashion Police are real! I did not see that coming.

    • Daniel

      Prada Police, arrest this girl
      Her Hitler Haircut
      With that outfit sits ill
      She won’t put “fashy” in “fashion”

  • msanthropesmr
  • Spurning Beer
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Awww. Nice.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Little Mavis is so teeny!

    • Manhattan123

      Does little Mavis boss Edna around? I’ve noticed that is often the case with the tiny ones.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        My much-missed spaniel loved to boss around and play with big dogs. I’ll never forget her trying to chase this big beautiful greyhound, who was just loping along. What a happy dog she was… sorry, must be some dust in the air…

        • Had a cat and dog in love with each other, both boys so gay agenda. Dog was a bigger fellow, and when we’d take walks, the cat would follow because he could not stand being apart. Sit side by side in the window to watch birdies together, cuddled together. They were too sweet.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            Aww…
            Our dog (family’s, but she thought she was mine) and cat (officially my sister’s, but cat) weren’t quite THAT close, but they’d check in one each other now and again. And at the cottage the dog would race around exploring, and the cat would follow her, just at MUCH reduced speed.

          • Zippy49

            The only cat that ever adopted me was a white, odd-eyed, long haired Manx. It’s keepers had brought a dog home and that cat would not stand for it.

            I was living by myself in a small apartment at the time, but we had him for many years after that. Didn’t get another dachshund until he passed.

      • Spurning Beer

        Liddle’ Mavis is now 30 pounds, and torments Edna constantly. It’s hilarious.

    • Mike Steele

      Likewise, greetings to lovely Lula from Frankie, the Wonder Dog.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance
      • “M”

        Everybody has these adorable black labs! Makes me miss Sheba. *sniff* I’m sorry, there’s some dust in the air from upthread.

  • weejee

    Shithole shutdown. Happy anniversary Two Scoops, you short fingered vulgarian.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d6c710d31016500ee7e94d1c93691ed6af6fb23647fe13f8bf3b89a25af2b1e.jpg

    • msanthropesmr

      No, that outhouse is useful, and probably tastefully decorated and smells better.

      • weejee

        I understand it’s his new place in Montana. If so, perhaps Trix, Shy, & DR can do a review?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Share this link. Trump and Republicans only care about using the military as a talking point.

    https://shareblue.com/watch-mitch-mcconnell-kill-effort-to-protect-military-pay-as-gop-pushed-for-shutdown/

    • The military is aware of this, allegedly, I may or may not have in my knowledge.
      There is a reason why a full third of them voted Johnson in the last election.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • TundraGrifter

    Lula is a lulu!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Who’s a good dog! Certainly not Donald Beef Poots!

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Well just finished my taxes, trying to figure out how much of Trump’s vacation I paid for with my taxes.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      McConnell is a democrat?

  • Bub the very stable zombie

    It’s obvious where SHS got her good looks, good nature, cleverness and wit from…
    https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/954699033666256896

    • msanthropesmr

      Wow he’s dumb.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Even extremely stupid people say that about him.

      • bbayliss

        really dumb with an awkward pre-teen sense of humor.

        • msanthropesmr

          No,. pre-teens are not that stupid as a whole.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
    • Hey Mike…are you saying the Democrats are SO strong and powerful that they can circumnavigate the GOP’s total control of government?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Well face it, they sure as hell did.

        • Somehow. In some way!
          Those damn Dems, why won’t they just give us everything we want and vote for it when our own crazies won’t, HNNGGGGG?????

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • ariel_gee_398

      His dad jokes all have a quality of spoiled milk about them.

      • Daniel

        It’s weird how our politics can influence this. Any liberal dad to make this kind of terrible joke would likely just get an eye roll and a groan, but just because Mike Huckabee is a conservative who tried to blame children for their own sexual assault and excuse his friend for having assaulted them, we liberals respond with vitriol. Sad.

        • Personally I was more responding with vitriol because he is blaming Chuck for the shut down and comparing it somehow to eating tide pods.
          But the blaming assault victims is a good reason also

        • ariel_gee_398

          You forgot “covered up for his dog-murdering son”, but yeah.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Mike how is that “personal responsibility” thing working out for you?

    • Christopher Story

      It’s like watching a gorilla smash bricks together

      • weejee

        or fling poo

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Gorilla libelz

      • goCatgo

        I cant get that channel.

      • Hesavebread!

        He would catch his thumbs.

    • Daniel

      Your son tortured then killed a dog.

      You defended the sexual assault of children by a family member because their abuser was your friend. You blamed the little girls for having been naked during bath time. They were infants.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Mike, Mike, Mike…tell that to the 45 Republicans who voted for that Republicans bill.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Is he still fucking Kim Davis?

      • Daniel

        So that’s why we never see them in the same room together!
        A wig and dress and child sexual assault defender Mike Huckabee is a regular master of disguise.

    • theCryptofishist

      Oh that’s just plain bizarre. And mean spirited, also, too.

  • Justin Thyme

    How about a blue MAGA hat?

  • Bub the very stable zombie
  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk
  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • Kateaux

      That never gets old.

  • InDogsWeTrust

    Evan, I would never fat-shame a dog or a person, but you have a Big Dog. Lighten up on the kibble, or else rename him “Beef Poots.”

    • She’s really not very husky. The bottom picture is her fluffing her fur in the snow, as labs do. The one right above it depicts a much svelter doggie

      • Daniel

        So that’s why they’re called “sparrowhunds”!

        • If you compare the inside shot of her which I am assuming is the same episode since she has a bit of flakes on her, with the bottom one, you can see she’s fluffed out her fur. Neighbor has a yellow lab that comes to see us who does the same thing- though neighbor dog IS a bit of a porker XD when fluffed she looks monstrous

          • Phried Ω

            So, not fat. Not big boned, but big furred. GTK.

      • goCatgo

        If I had a 3 dog night, she is what I want. Or 2 dogs and a cat.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        I’ve never met a black lab who didn’t have a big rib cage. It is a stocky breed.

    • Daniel

      I was going to say, lovely though she is she is also a little tunky.

  • Shibusa
    • Mike Steele

      Despite shutdown, Shauna, USPS is still up and running. You’ll be happy to learn that your NDA check from the GOP is in the mail:)

  • Zyxomma

    Lula’s gorgeous, Evan, even if she is a little overweight.

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      You shush! She has a curvy figure, not fatshaming!!!

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Zaftig.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      I thought fat shaming was not allowed here.

  • Justin Thyme
  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • wavicles

      No wonder he wants to get down there so bad. He probably has it set up so he gets ‘paid to appear’.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    The U.S. Air Force Academy has announced all interscholastic sports competitions are canceled until further notice. The Naval Academy has stated that all their sports competitions will continue for now, while West Point declined to comment.

    • Me not sure

      “Never give up the ship!”

  • Nasty Woman Persisted

    This is the look I get everytime I tell Parker Pup that she needs to potty outside in the cold, not inside on the warm tile.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/737e7e1684ae8128d730ecf48ad921b0f10f343620628fdf20239bddd7c01161.jpg

    • Mike Steele

      Classic side-eye…

    • Justin Thyme

      Oooh. Crazy Eyes. “Who’s the bitch now!”

  • Duke

    Happy Saturday, Wonketarians!

    • Doug Langley

      Happy Saturday, Duke!

  • The Flaming Carrot

    Lula wants you to throw the squeaky toy. Now!

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    SNOW PUPPEH!!!!!!! OH, I WUBS LULA!!!! Someday all the Wonkette humans with animal companions need to have a get-together in a bigly yuge puppeh/kitteh park. Lula and Beany and Cary-Cary and Thor and ALL OF THEM, KATIE!!!!!

    It’s my dream that Bo Diddley Obama and his people friends would make a cameo also, too. And that JT and Sophie would show up, having gotten themselves a Wookiee Dawg from the Atlantic Provinces by then…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d6929838040539563dc58d4073ba89720f9026a05f33c9519e1d37204e7ab102.jpg

    • Teto85

      Marina Green or Crissy Field or Presidio Parade grounds in San Francisco. Let’s do (doggy doo?) this.

  • nightmoth

    The most fun things I got from the porn star story are that 1. Rump thinks his power and money are connected to his having big hair, just like Samson, (porn star said that made her laugh and laugh) and 2. he is obsessively terrified of sharks. Uhh, note to his yacht crew—will you please chum the water the next time Rump’s on board?

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      And yet he was mad that he didn’t get cast as the preznut in “Sharknado 3.”

      So instead, he made his own version, called “Shitnado ’16.”

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    I thought I hear Old
    Big Leg Lula
    Calling me, boy, calling me.
    She said come back home boy,
    come back home.
    Big Leg Lula,
    Calling me.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0br_EU0pvU

  • stablegeniusahughes798

    Evan, your doggie is very cute!

  • nightmoth
    • Lord Jim

      That. Is. AWESOME.

  • Anna in PDX

    Awwwww! Lula! Who’s a good girl?

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Lula! Squeaky chicken snow day!

  • Zippy49

    We had a black Lab for 16 of her 17 years. This dog showed up at our back door and spent the next three nights right there.

    I went next door to speak to the owner. Turned out that she had been abandoned by his secretary’s husband. Left his wife AND his dog. Lowest form of life on the planet IMHO.

    So Missy became the only dog that ever adopted ME. I still tear up at the thought.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/77d0dc535a0ae5bf8223be870fcaae6e3752f05312c8ce75fee4dd60b907af54.jpg

    • Lord Jim

      Requiesce in pace Missy.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      <3

    • La forza del resistino

      “The dog is a gentlelady; I hope to go to her heaven not mans.”
      -Mark Twain.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What a sweetie-pie. Good on you for taking her in. I hope her former owner is rotting in hell right now.

    • Kateaux

      She was beautiful. How lucky both you and she were to find each other!

    • EvanHurst

      Awwwwwww.

      I think it’s fair to say Lula adopted me. I knew I was going to get a puppy “sometime” and I knew I wanted some sort of smaller lab mix. So when a friend posted (on MYSPACE) a thing about “free puppy to very good home” and it was a lab/blue heeler mix, I was like “OK i’m going to go see this dog.”

      Lula had come from my friend’s dad’s farm in Arkansas, because you know how farm dogs are often not fixed. Huge litter, the (lab) mother was pregnant by two different dog men, a rottweiler and a blue heeler. So out of two girls in the litter, Lula was the heeler mix and also the runt, so my friend said, “Dad I will foster ONE of them, the smallest one, and find it a good home.”

      So I got there and my friend was dating a guy in a band at the time and they lived in an apartment in the city with his three HUGE dogs. So I was like “where is the puppy?” She was all the way down the hall, in their bedroom, HIDING UNDER A DRESSER because she was so overwhelmed by the situation.

      So she kinda looked at me and I looked at my friend and was like “Oh can you just send me home with some dog food so I don’t have to deal with it tonight? Because I’m obviously taking her.”

      And that was in 2005!

  • phoenix00

    Is Lula a good girl? Does she help Evan transcribe Fusion GPS transcripts? A very good girl indeed!

  • tehbaddr

    That is a very good dog, he did not show us his “lipstick”!

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      …because she doesn’t have one???

  • MOG253

    Thank you for all the awesome cuteness pix.

  • danedg

    “A shutdown falls on the President’s lack of leadership. He can’t even control his party and get people together in a room. A shutdown means the President is weak” -Donald Trump 2013
    My bad….

  • Begin Anew Day

    Your LuLu makes me cry.

    My LuLu passed in early November.

    They are so wonderful and they steal our hearts and use them for chew toys. Then they hide our hearts in some hole in the backyard. And then they forget where they buried our hearts and snuggle up to us because we need LOVING since our hearts are missing.

    But then they age and soon we must say goodbye. And they forget to return our hearts. And all we can do is cry,cry,cry.

    ;>(((

    • sillyclucker

      I’m sorry. My Lily passed in mid November. My throat tightens up every time I think of her.

      • Begin Anew Day

        (only tears from this end)

    • JustDon’tSayCamel

      We had to put down our old mutt, 16 yrs old, 7 yrs ago. I still ache a little, cuz he was my buddy, all these years later. But we fostered, then foster-failed, and now two sister dogs brighten our lives. It was gloomy for a time, but we got better.
      Tldr: when the hurt subsides a bit, look to rescue your next furry friend… Gtg, fkn onion ninjas…

  • Ill-Advised

    But did you throw the squeaky chicken?

  • Jane

    Google is paying me 98 dollars /h to complete esay tasks from the comfort of home .. Labor for only few peroid of time in a day & stay more time with your relatives … You can also apply this work…last Thursday I bought a brand new Subaru Imprezaafter just earning $13582 this-past/four weeks .it sounds my favourite-work however you could not forgive yourself if you don’t see this.!ww87n:⇛⇛⇛ http://GoogleCashCareerCloudWorkFromHome/more/cash ♥♥g♥♥e♥♥t♥x♥♥♥h♥i♥v♥♥♥l♥♥z♥♥m♥♥♥q♥♥q♥♥♥l♥♥♥g♥u♥l♥♥e♥a♥♥b♥♥♥t♥u♥♥z♥♥♥x♥♥♥j♥c:::::!iw472n:lhuhu

    • thixotropic jerk

      Which is it you lying ratfart? A Subaru or a Land Rover? Because in the other thread you said it was a Land Rover. I am starting to have doubts about your honesty Janet and about those “esay tasks from the comfort of home ..” you are completing. #SAD&DISAPPOINTEDINYOUJANET

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Wow if you are getting 98 dollars /h, you should work on your vocabulary. You hardly used any h’s in your post.

    • sillyclucker

      No thanks. Do not want spend more time with relative.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      You leave so many questions unanswered… such as what is an esay task? How many peroids do I need to labor? What if I don’t want to stay more time with my relatives? WHAT sounds your favourite?

      Grade: D – Needs Improvement.

      Maybe ask Lori to help you.

    • dslindc

      WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LORI?!

  • Sojourner Truth

    Loved Jennifer Rubin’s facial expressions on the Joy Reid show. She is that rarest of creatures – conservative but rational. A real swell dame.

    • JD Mulvey

      She was reborn a year ago. Prior to that –like back when she was a relentless shill for Bush/Cheney –“rational” was not the word that came to mind.

  • dslindc

    Your very good dog goes outside when it snows. Mine looks at me as though I am as riddled with dementia as crazy, racist Donald when I suggest such things.

  • danedg
    • Parakeetist

      Squee

  • Dolmance

    I’m sure it’s just a coincidence, so I won’t point out that this very good dog looks like that dog that incited David Berkowitz.

  • potrzebie

    This good dog is a dead ringer for my good dog!

  • Bangkok Taxi

    Ah Lula.

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