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How YOU doin’, White House Counsel Don McGahn? Feeling good about your life choices right now? Still glad you took that fancy job? Or are you feeling like the proverbial boiled frog, since you seem not to have noticed the temperature inching up until you were well and truly cooked?

Let’s Lawsplore all the ways that Donald Trump’s White House counsel is in deep shit, particularly if Democrats take back the House this fall and start holding real hearings.

(NB, your FDF is a lawyer, but not in this area. There are always knowledgeable lawyers who comment, so thanks in advance Law Wonks! School us good, learned hands!)

Speak Into The Microphone, Mr. McGahn

Remember that Firin’ Your Ass, Comey! memo that POTUS wrote with Jared Kushner and Stephen Miller in New Jersey? The one that mentioned the Russia investigation in the first line? The one that they presented to all the White House lawyers, including McGahn and Rod Rosenstein? The one that those lawyers put in a folder marked Illegal Shit We Gotta Stop That Idiot From Doing (ALLEGEDLY), before drafting a new You’re Fired Memo saying Comey had to go for being mean to Hillary? You know who remembers all those things?

ROBERT MUELLER, THAT’S WHO. And he’s got questions for Don McGahn, who had a front row seat to the shitshow. Also, too, the Special Counsel might be curious about Don McGahn’s efforts to stop Jeff Sessions recusing himself from the Russia investigation. Was the president trying to keep his “Roy Cohn” in place to obstruct the FBI inquiry?

Not a good look, McGahn! You’re now a fact witness in an obstruction of justice investigation of your own client. Which is generally frowned on, see Rule 3.7 of the ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct. But YOU DO YOU.

By the way, exactly who IS your client?

The White House Counsel represents the president in his official capacity. But he does not represent the president personally. Which means that Don McGahn doesn’t represent Trump or anyone else with respect to, oh say, any shady Russia shit that went down during the campaign. In fact, if the president has a conversation in Don McGahn’s hearing about campaign activities or investigations of his interesting business connections in the former Soviet Union, that conversation is not privileged. Ditto for any conversations about who sent Mike Flynn to go talk to then-Russian ambassador Sergei Kislyak about bouncy Russian sanctions during the transition period.

This White House has decided that executive privilege involves any conversation with or about the president, a view so expansive that it even managed to piss off Trey Gowdy. Knowing that this bullshit will never hold up in court, the White House has insisted that they are not actually asserting executive privilege, they are preserving the president’s right to do so in the future! Which is some clever fuckery, we must admit. They’re betting that House Republicans, being craven whores, won’t call their bluff. But one day that curtain will get pulled back, and if it reveals a steaming pile of illegal shit, these sham invocations of privilege are going to look a lot like efforts to cover up a crime.

But wait, there’s more!

McGahn has already been interviewed by Robert Mueller, and several congressional committees have swiped right to spend hours and hours getting to know him better. McGahn is represented by DC lawyer William Burck, who also represents Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon. We speculated the other day that Burck was taking instruction straight from McGahn when he refused to allow Bannon to answer questions in the House Intelligence Committee. In fact, Burck was speaking to McGahn’s deputy Uttam Dhillon. (Feel free to speculate wildly as to whether McGahn finally shouted I HAZ A CONFLICT and recused himself from that conversation.)

Superfans will remember that Dhillon was the OLC attorney who deliberately misled the president about the legality of firing James Comey. Which means that Dhillon may well become a witness himself in this investigation. And yet, he’s instructing Bannon not to answer questions about the firing?

UH HUH.

And just to make it more fun, Uttam Dhillon’s wife, Janet Dhillon, was nominated by Trump for a post at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. And McGahn’s wife, Shannon McGahn, just left a senior post working for Steven Mnuchin at the Treasury Department to return to her old job on the House Financial Services Committee working for Republican Jeb Hensarling. Well, isn’t that special!

TLDR

Are your eyes glazing over with all this lawtalk? Let’s summarize.

  1. Don McGahn is a potential witness against the president in an obstruction of justice inquiry.
  2. Don McGahn may himself be the subject of an obstruction of justice inquiry if he helped the president hide his real motivation for firing Comey.
  3. Don McGahn may or may not be advising the president to assert executive privilege to cover up a crime.
  4. Don McGahn shares counsel with witnesses who are testifying in multiple criminal and congressional investigations against his client (and maybe against McGahn himself).
  5. Don McGahn better hope like hell that Republicans hold onto the House and Senate, or he will spend all of next year getting flayed in front of six different committees, irrespective of what happens with the Mueller inquiry.

As your FDF’s badass mom (herself a superlawyer) always says, “You’re a lawyer, not a prostitute. YOU CAN SAY NO.”


Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please give us money! We will make sexy lawtalk, but not sex. Because, we always listen to Momma FDF.

[Bloomberg / Bloomberg, again / Reuters]

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  • La forza del resistino

    Hey F$F, You could offer to represent him pro Bono as homage to his band’s U2 cover set.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Hast he found what he is looking for?

      • FlownΩver

        Out there on The Edge of the law – or well beyond it.

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        And can he live with or without it?

  • BadKitty904

    Isn’t “Mello Yellow” the Secret Service’s code name for Turmp?

  • PersianOregano

    Hey Mom, even prostitutes can say no!

    • OutOfOrbit

      they can not say no to their pimp

  • goonemeritus

    Don’s parents begged him not go to law school, but like every other kid, did he listen? No he did not. I’m sure his parents take no pleasure in saying I told you so.

  • memzilla Ω

    #MAGA Make Attorneys Get Attorneys!

  • gallbladder

    He’s an insult to the guitar.

    • FlownΩver

      Particularly to a cherry sunburst Les Paul – which this assmunch is going to scratch up with his hotshot watch.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Don McGahn or Don McLean?

    Corruption and ratfucking aside, that sunburst Les Paul and Mellow Yellow t-shirt is fucking cool.

    “Is that freedom rock, man?”
    “No, obstruction comes with a prison term.”
    “Bummer.”

    • Crank Tango

      “Well turn it up, man!”

    • Anna Rompage

      Something tells me Don McGahn’s band is worse than Nickle Back, played through a can of canned clams….

      • OutOfOrbit

        oh! that hurt

      • FlownΩver

        Monster Jam?

    • proudgrampa

      “Bye bye, Miss American Pie.”

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Not near the point, but its been on my mind:

    “they are preserving the president’s right to do so in the future!”

    This is in every discovery response ever I’ve read from the plaintiff’s bar – to the point it sometimes makes discovery seem worthless, cause we’re just gonna keep going back and forth and wind up in court on a motion to compel production of something routine that should have been turned over MONTHS before. My guess would be they concede NOTHING in case it comes back to bite them in the ass, they now have grounds for an appeal.

    The rat bastard ones just object; a decent attorney will object, but not withstanding or foregoing the objection, provide you the info.

    Depends on what they’re hiding.

  • BadKitty904
    • wide_stance_hubby

      OMG, did D45 have a wardrobe malfunction?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        And there goes lunch, joining breakfast in the bucket.

    • OutOfOrbit

      At my house: “Did you see the size of that spider?!”

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        “…the size of that…” is unnecessary in my house

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald wonders why he can’t claim executive privilege. He’s been a privileged executive since 1978.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Prostitutes can say, “No,” or “there’s a surcharge for that”

    • Crank Tango

      Or “I don’t feel like wearing the Ivanka teefs again”

    • weejee

      Spanky, is that you?

    • Nockular cavity

      “Pee? Is extra, Mr. Trump.”

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Going back to old maxim:
      You don’t pay a prostitute for sex. You pay a prostitute to leave after sex.

  • OutOfOrbit

    “Shit Sharknado”
    GOOD ONE

    • Bobathonic

      They’re working on the script right now.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Tara Reid has already signed on to play Ivanka.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Leslie Jones as Omarosa, AND Oprah.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            But will they pay her double? Ha! Good one. (black female)

      • RickyG

        Steve Guttenberg as “The Mooch” ??!!!!

        • FlownΩver

          Murray has already sewed up the Bannon role.

  • SweetDeeKat

    This is fun to read. Legal ethics gets laughed at when it’s brought up, but behaving ethically keeps you safe from all kinds of horrible fuckery. When I read about lawyers being disbarred because they are going to pound-me-in-the-ass prison for money laundering, I laugh and laugh and laugh.

    • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

      Commenting rules prefer “big boy prison”. What you said? Not so much.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        it’s the quote from Office Space – but still not cool.

        • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

          Yeah, I love that movie. Have it on DVD.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Oops. Got caught up in the moment. Fixed.

    • proudgrampa

      Legal Ethics. Oxymoron? Discuss.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Oxymoron – Trump voter who uses pain pills recreationally

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          But you repeat yourself.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • weejee

      And Schumer’s pooping in tRump’s desk as we post.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The Mouse that Tweeted

  • weejee

    OMG! 5$F you hit that one so far out of the park it won’t come down ’til next week. Forget Moon shot, that was a Saturn shot.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      She’s a good writer, and she some some terrific material to work with.

  • BadKitty904
    • Nockular cavity

      I Have No Brain, But I Must Tweet.

      • BadKitty904

        lol I just knew this crowd would get that ‘un. Though I prolly should’ve saved it for a Dok post, what with him being such a classic scifi buff and all…

    • Ling Ling

      Slow clap. Bravo! (for ticktockman)

      • BadKitty904

        It just, like, suddenly came to me…

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    It’s becoming clear that certain sex industry workers think before they say yes to Donald Trump.

  • yyyaz

    It’s Russian nesting rats all the way down.

  • Scooby

    Have you been injured in an accident? Don’t call Don McGahn.

    • Arolpin

      Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

      • Bobathonic

        Do you like gladiator movies?

        • Gosala

          Have you fallen and you can’t get up?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Better Call Les Paul!

    • OutOfOrbit

      he would not approve

    • La forza del resistino

      Or Mary Esq. of Ford, Ford & Ford.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but looks like we found turmps inspiration for the shithole comment.

    Also, too; good riddance Higbie, ya nazi fuck.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210118993

  • Ryan Denniston
    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Shithole Shutdown” has a nice, appropriate ring to it.

      • proudgrampa

        “Shut Down the Shit Hole” is the title of my new Experimental Roots Reggae album.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Apparently the Orange Shitgibbon has implored Chuck Shumer to “Let’s Make A Deal.”

      • FlownΩver

        Hugh Hewitt (may his seed fall on barren soil) is sure Chuck is “over a barrel” because Trump will be able to blame the shutdown on Senate Democrats.

        So that’s what it looks like from inside the bubble…

  • proudgrampa

    “…many lawyers remain unaware of the current content of the “lawyer-as-witness”
    rule. They call our office for a telephone advisory opinion and are often surprised to learn that the rule does not say what they thought it said, or at least not what they remember it to say.” — Minnesota Office of Lawyers Professional Responsibility

    Well, if it’s so damn complicated, maybe it should be simplified. Or something.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      If only there were books of how the law has been applied in past trials and whatnot

      • proudgrampa

        Do you think there might be a market for a book like that?

        Asking for a friend.

        • TundraGrifter

          Nah.

          • proudgrampa

            Yeah. Never mind.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Or some kind of page on the Interwebs.

      • Rags

        tl:dr

      • FlownΩver

        “Books”? What is “Books”?

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!

    • Beelzebubba

      “A lawyer shall not act as advocate at a trial in which the lawyer is likely to be a necessary witness…”
      Yeah, that’s a real puzzler. And it gets worse:
      “…unless (1) the testimony relates to an uncontested issue; (2) the testimony relates to the nature and value of legal services rendered in the case; or
      (3) disqualification of the lawyer would work substantial hardship on the client.
      Nobody could possibly figure that out.

      • proudgrampa

        I know, right? How hard is this law stuff, really?

        • FlownΩver

          In many cases, much ea$$$ier than you might think.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Jack’s Stable Shithole

      In Russia, remorse buys YOU!

    • Relativicus

      I wouldn’t want to be any of those “anonymous” oligarchs and senior officials right now. But if I were one, I wouldn’t eat or drink anything I didn’t prepare myself. And even then…

  • Crystalclear12

    This is fine.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Casey Stengel’s widely publicized ejaculation of “Can anyone here play this game?” comes immediately to mind.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I was working on Wall Street when the Mets won the series. The city went mad… I waded to the subway station through about 5 inches of papers that had been thrown out of office windows — impromptu ticker tape parade. Mr. MinS was taking the bus home, and the bus driver had his hand over the coin box, telling everyone they rode for free because the Mets won the series. It was a hell of a day!

      • OutOfOrbit

        and a heck of a bus driver!

      • bbayliss

        I was in ST. Paul for a parade after the twins won.
        The catalytic converter from one of the cars started all the paper on fire.
        Good times.

      • Eileen Besse

        Red Sox fan here, and I HEAR YA!!!!

  • Anna Rompage

    Don McGahn and Joe Scarborough should put a band together and call it Douche Canoe….

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Just needs a mentally deranged bass player…I hear Fuckerbee needs a gig.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And maybe a guitarist with a penchant for underage girls, to appeal to evangelicals.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I know of a guy, and he’s a gun nut, too!

        • jodyleek

          So many to choose from!

      • Anna Rompage

        Maybe Sarah could sit in now and then and play the mouth harp….

        • mike stone

          Actually, I think Sarah is more of a pig-zolla player. A pig-zolla is an Arkansas instrument made by stretching cat-gut across a pig’s ass and you pick it with your teeth. Of course, you have to have teeth and that eliminates half of the state’s residents.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Or mouse harp.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Now that he’s bailed from the committee, Trey Gowdy can make the scene https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5eb3cc96c0957c454a2cb9b70cc078d99507f165b6b5e57336871cac68b56441.jpg

    • La forza del resistino

      With Mika on paddle percussion.

      • Querolous

        Assisted by Ms Daniels with a rolled up magazine.

    • msanthropesmr

      With the decaying corpse of Lee Atwater

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      debut album: Ocean de Ouch

    • TundraGrifter

      I’m listening to a CD of old blue blues tunes, and one is “The Boy in the Boat.”

      Quite entertaining!

      • FlownΩver

        All-time best blues title: Nobody Loves Me But My Mama, and She Could Be Jivin’ Me Too.”

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Not RINO Wino?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    There are always knowledgeable lawyers who comment, so thanks in advance Law Wonks!

    And then there are us internet forum lawyers who don’t need to go to any lawr skewl! We will TELL you the law… and get your JJ McNabbs and gold fringe flags out of our face!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      As an undergraduate at Perry Mason U, and a graduate of the McKenzie-Brackman Kollege of Higher Legal Learning, I approve.

  • Relativicus

    “As your FDF’s badass mom (herself a superlawyer) always says, ‘You’re a lawyer, not a prostitute. YOU CAN SAY NO.’”

    That seems like something they should start teaching in law school. More pass/fail to start, but eventually, if the concept began to take hold, it could count towards graduation, maybe?

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Isn’t that conflict of interest for 1 lawyer to represent 3 different people all under investigation?

    • Victoria Ricola

      I don’t get this either. And then the crooked lawyers have crooked lawyers and my brain melts trying to keep up.

    • Anna Rompage

      I think as long as they’re all defendants, it’s okay…

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        But they are all testifying about things related to other clients.

      • Beelzebubba

        As soon as their interests diverge – which happens all the time when they get around to pointing fingers – the lawer has to withdraw. Smart lawyers try to avoid those situations, but when the priority is to keep everybody’s lies straight, it’s easier if one lawyer does all the advising.

        • FlownΩver

          I read that as “all the advertising,” and thought “That’s a lot of billboards.”

    • Indiepalin

      Incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial!

      • msanthropesmr

        No way to go through life, son.

      • Rags

        ….PLC Attorneys at law

      • eggs ackly-wright

        So says Ham Burger.

    • proudgrampa

      I’m still not getting that one…

    • TundraGrifter

      I think it’s OK as long as all the different people are aware of it. Is it smart? Not so much. And probably not as cost effective as one might think.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s a waivable conflict until it’s not – until they have divergent interests. Considering the players here, it’s a colossally stupid idea, and I’d be hard-pressed to name any scrupulously ethical colleagues who would do such a thing.

      • FlownΩver

        No more stupid than the activities that got them into this situation to begin with.

    • John Robinson

      How can it be? He’s interested in the money each of them pays him.

  • Crystalclear12

    2019 is either going to be depressing or depressing and interesting.

    • bbayliss

      You seem to assume we’ll live through 2018

      • Crystalclear12

        Yes but I’m not sure if that is being optimistic or pessimistic.

        • bbayliss

          Point

    • proudgrampa

      May we all have interesting lives…

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        Whoever said that in 2015 or 2016 needs to be found and thrown in prison.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Already do. Can I trade it for the dull one I had two years ago?

        • proudgrampa

          Sorry, bud. We are all in the New Reality.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thank you $5F!
    This makes it much more clear.

  • JaveyDay
  • johnnyknj

    Uh…prostitutes can say no too.

    • OutOfOrbit

      not to their pimp!

  • Granny Sprinkles

    As your FDF’s badass mom (herself a superlawyer) always says, “You’re a lawyer, not a prostitute. YOU CAN SAY NO

    Don McGahn used to be the most famous graduate of Ado Annie’s School of Law and Such, now he’s their most infamous graduate.

  • proudgrampa

    This just reminds me of Watergate.

    All of those educated people, including lawyers, turned out to be dumber than shit.

    • TJ Barke

      Educated don’t necessarily mean intelligent.

      • proudgrampa

        I get that, but you’d think they’d learn a lesson or two…

      • arglebargle

        See Carson, Ben.

    • yyyaz

      The desires for power and filthy lucre are overriding forces for the weak-minded.

      • TJ Barke

        The force is not with them.

      • proudgrampa

        If we were all rich and powerful, there would be no crime.

        • John Robinson

          Somewhere, vast assemblages of ghosts of rich and powerful men throughout history are nodding in agreement. Probably Hell.

          • proudgrampa

            Probably. Most likely.

    • FlownΩver

      “The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.”

      – Mark Felt, per Woodward

  • John Iwaniszek

    Is your mom single?

  • TundraGrifter

    Turns out that if you put a frog in a pot of water and turn up the heat a bit, pretty soon she (or will) will hop out. The 19th Century “experiment” on which this Urban Legend is based involved first removing the frog’s brain.

    Which might make it a better analogy for the Trump White House…

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Thank you. I was deciding if I wanted to explain this again (and again, and again).
      God bless attorneys, but most have very little training in Zoology or Physiology.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      So what you’re saying is- frogs are smarter than the people in the WH

    • John Robinson

      Also, if you cut off a frog’s legs, it becomes deaf.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Where is Louis Gohmert? I need a flowchart to keep up with all of this crazy stuff in the Russian investigation.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…
    Went to Raw Story looking for that Russian Oligarchs Not Happy With Putin story and got a “Website Blocked Because Malicious Software Detected” message from Firefox.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Knowing that this bullshit will never hold up in court, the White House has insisted that they are not actually asserting executive privilege, they are preserving the president’s right to do so in the future!

    Can I do that with spousal privilege? I mean, I’m not actually married at the moment but one day I may be and I want to reserve the right to invoke the privilege.

    • Victoria Ricola

      Yes. I set precedence for this in 2008.

    • TundraGrifter

      I’ve always wanted to walk into a fancy club or restaurant and the hostess asks “May I help you?” And I say “I’m looking for my wife.” And she says “I’ll see if she’s here. What does she look like?” And I say “I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet.”

      • msanthropesmr

        If I said you had a beautiful body would you take off your top and shake it around a little?

    • John Robinson

      “..they are preserving the president’s right to do so in the future!”
      That’s a neat variation on Nixon’s “protect the [rights? can’t remember] of future Presidents” ploy. Not surprising that, this being Donald Trump, there’s not even the feeble attempt to frame it as benefiting anyone else.

  • JaveyDay
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “Thanks, but that point is too small to be taken into consideration.”

      • JaveyDay

        “Objection, Your Highness!”

        • msanthropesmr

          What’s that you say? Drink me?

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        Looks like a subpoena. Only smaller.

    • Ling Ling

      If it doesn’t fit you must acquit.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      You may remember me from such glory holes as “The truck stop off the I-71 in Mansfield”

      • JaveyDay

        Glory, Glory Holelujah

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      but did the evidence stand up in court?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Likely not a “hung” jury.

        • Roadstergal

          He’s not a hardened criminal. But he got a stiff sentence anyway.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Even a prostitute can say no, frankly.

    • Jack’s Stable Shithole

      I thought the same thing.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      You’re absolutely right. I should have phrased it better.

  • Jack’s Stable Shithole

    It’s borscht a nesting dolls as far as the eye can see.

    It’d be refreshing if just one of them wasn’t in bed with Putin. Of course, that poor, lonely soul would have nothing in common with the rest of these jokers, so it’s probably for the best.

  • MynameisBlarney

    And twitter doesn’t do a fucking thing about it.

    “russia linked twitter accounts working overtime for nunes.”

    http://www.businessinsider.com/release-the-memo-campaign-russia-linked-twitter-accounts-2018-1

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      They are also working overtime for Steve King to spread the bullshit about some memo.

    • Victoria Ricola

      Twitter is insane today. They are really desperate to distract (probably from the Fusion GPS report, but maybe if we’re lucky they’ll start arresting people around happy hour tonight)

      • proudgrampa

        They should probably shut down the international airports tonight so no one can escape…

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          When the government shuts down the airports will have to

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Twitter will be eaten last when the day of reckoning comes

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        When will faceplace go down?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Right before twitter?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          As soon as the Ancient Ones catch Zuckerberg’s yacht

      • Roadstergal

        Per Douglas Adams, they’ll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

        Along with Facebook and the New York Times.

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        The Elder Gods will need Pepto Bismol.

  • TundraGrifter

    “School us good, learned hands!”

    ISWYDT

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Pretty sure prostitutes get to say no too.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      They do. And if someone doesn’t listen to that “no”, it’s rape.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      You are absolutely right. That was a really bad way to put it.

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        We know you didn’t mean any harm, 5$F. :)

        • Fivedollarfeminist

          Thank you. I appreciate that. You guys are the best!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Moms mean well.

  • msanthropesmr

    The shit we gotta stop that idiot from doing pile is a pretty big one.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    JUST SAY NO!

    if it’s good enough for millions of pot smokers, it’s good enough for shyster lawyers

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Courser_Resistance

      Sweet Jeebus, none of the above.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Don McGahn shares counsel with witnesses who are testifying in multiple criminal and congressional investigations against his client (and maybe against McGahn himself).

    How has someone not hauled him into court and had the judge lecture him that representing clients with potentially conflicting interests isn’t permitted? That’s why when Fredo and Joey Diamonds and Legs Moroni are all on trial for bookmaking and gunrunning the same lawyer can’t represent all of them.

  • MynameisBlarney

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210118808

    The rest of the Friday Toon Roundup.

  • La forza del resistino

    Stormy Daniels asks did someone bring up Sharknado?
    ‘He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, ‘I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.’
    For some reason, I can’t see him windsurfing or ever being in the ocean.

    • proudgrampa

      This kind of detail is what convinces me she is not lying.

      • WeaselPoo

        Remember when Steve Doocey/Not Stebe Doocey complained How Ate Sharks Allowef to ne in Ocean?
        Direct to Trump corroboration. Case closed toyes legit.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      He’s afraid of snarkbites also too et cetera and so on.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And yet he swims with the Spencers. How is this even logical?

  • JMP

    Can you say “conflict of interest”, boys and girls? Can you say “major violation of the Rules of Professional Responsibility”?

    • proudgrampa

      1. They don’t understand “conflict of interest.”
      2. They can’t read and, therefore, have no idea what “Rules of Professional Responsibility” are.

  • In more law news SCOTUS will opine on trump travel ban(s):

    from WaPo

    “The Supreme Court on Friday said it will review whether President Trump has the authority to ban travelers from certain countries in the name of national security, and will rule by June in what will be a major examination of the president’s powers.”

    • Marion in Savannah

      Okay. What are the odds on a 5-4 ruling? I’d say pretty high. A much harder question — how will Anthony “Weathervane” Kennedy rule?

      • Kennedy will be the tipping point, as per the usual.

  • msanthropesmr

    Any one who has an effects rack like that is a complete tool.

  • Gosala

    * hack *
    No.
    * wheeze *
    I’m not sick
    * honk *
    Why do you ask?
    * groan *

    • msanthropesmr

      Stop spreading it around!

      • Gosala

        Come closer, I can’t hear you.

        * sneeze *

        Sorry about that!

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Stay away, I just got over that!!

      • eggs ackly-wright

        I was flipping around on the teevee the other night and happened on some new sitcom with Andrea Martin. She’s just as cute as ever.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • eggs ackly-wright

      Chaos and doom approacheth.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Something IS approaching, and it’s not very pleasant.

        • Gosala

          William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

                 THE SECOND COMING

              Turning and turning in the widening gyre
              The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
              Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
              Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
              The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
              The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
              The best lack all conviction, while the worst
              Are full of passionate intensity.

              Surely some revelation is at hand;
              Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
              The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
              When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
              Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
              A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
              A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
              Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
              Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.

              The darkness drops again but now I know
              That twenty centuries of stony sleep
              Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
              And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
              Slouches towards Bethlehem
          to be born?

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Another proud graduate of the Trump University School of Law.

  • John Thorstensen

    “School us good, learned hands!” – It’s gems like this that keep me coming back!

    • Hesavebread!

      Had to look it up, but yes.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Like any other judge only more so

  • Bigby

    #5 on your TLDR is precisely why I believe the 2018 elections will be a) hacked every which way but loose or b) postponed due to terrattack (how conveeeeeenient: “let us get away with treason or the terrisssts win, libtards!”).

    And The Base will eat it up with a spoon like they do every pile of ‘puddin’ Trump dumps on their plates.

    • OutOfOrbit

      “what’cha gonna do when they come for you?”
      Me: “aim at their feet”

    • JoeChristmas

      And SCOTUS just upheld their gerrymandering of North Carolina.

    • calliecallie

      If that happens, I really am moving to Canadia.

  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    Well this will be interesting. Omarosa might have taped confidential white house meetings.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/omarosa-taped-confidential-white-house-discussions-article-1.3765147

    Former White House staffer Omarosa Manigault-Newman may have taped confidential West Wing conversations and fears being caught up in special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe, sources told the Daily News on Thursday.

    The former reality TV star’s official last day in the Trump administration is Saturday — despite the abrupt announcement of her departure last month — and her next step seems to be lawyering up.

    The soon-to-be former assistant to President Trump and director of communications for the White House Office of Public Liaison has held exploratory meetings with several high profile attorneys for potential representation, a source told The News.

    • miss_grundy

      Hmmmm. I wonder if she taped any juicy information? Something that could hang Dotard by his own petard?

      • Roadstergal

        Can his petard take that much weight?

        • Sakonyachen

          Could anyone’s?

        • Last Hussar

          A petard s an explosive charge, not hangman’s noose

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        I bet she did.

        • little miss high and mighty

          she haz hers own damn kopromat, then

    • The Wanderer

      The Rosemary Woods of our time?

      • Ω cynmac’s skipping the SOTU

        Evelyn Woods maybe.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        But not Norwegian Woods

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • TJ Barke

      But remember, liberals are the sheep.

    • ariel_gee_398

      What’s “release the memo” in Russian? https://dashboard.securingdemocracy.org/

      • miss_grundy

        Отпустите заметку

        • little miss high and mighty

          yup: wewease wondney, tooo, also

    • msanthropesmr

      Whoa. That person needs a sanity check.

      • Bub the very stable zombie

        Ah, she’d just have it conducted by Admiral Jackson, MD.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That person is likely one of the Russia-linked twitter accounts goin crazy on twitter today.
        They’re under order, not crazy.

      • miss_grundy

        I think that person needs their medication tweaked.

    • You should ice that burn

      WTF are they thinking is in that memo? I gather it has to do with the “unmasking” nontroversy that went nowhere last time they tried it, what’s the special sauce this time?

      • Gosala

        Nunes wrote it.

        • You should ice that burn

          Well in that case it’s sure to be damning as hell in the eyes of the drooletariat, but will probably backfire and become exhibit #2764391882 in Meuller’s “How up to their eyeballs are the entire GOP in the conspiracy to elect a mole (Ru) to the White House” show.

        • miss_grundy

          Didn’t somebody tweet that Nunes’ report was argle-bargle and didn’t make any sense?

    • CeeQ

      Hahahahaha ok.

      You mean Trump IS the shit storm.

      Don’t delude yourself honey – the Devil wouldn’t waste time on a soul already bought and paid for.

    • gallbladder

      “SouthernBelle…” Yeah, figures.

      • The Wanderer

        “Ding Dong, ya’ll.”

    • Me not sure

      So that’s the voice inside his head! I KNEW IT!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Southern Belle? More like South St Petersburg!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        It is a dingdong, whatever it is.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      SPOILER ALERT: TRUMP = STORMY DANIELS!!

    • FauxAntocles

      #LibSayReleaseTheMemo
      So release it already – the Rethugs control the committee, just release the damn thing.

    • alpacapunchbowl
      • little miss high and mighty

        Betty!
        Wow.

    • puredog

      “I am the one who knocks.”

  • Tetman Callis

    I just got back from lunch, and must return straight to work.

    But first — have the disciplinary committees been mentioned yet? You know, the ones that decide if an attorney should be reprimanded or suspended or disbarred? Usually an attorney has to do some pretty low-life shit (for an attorney), which usually means missing deadlines or fucking with the trust accounts, to get in dutch with the disciplinaries, but there’s always an outside chance the various White House and Trump attorneys may find themselves haled before those august personages to explain a thing or two.

    • Bebecca

      I actually think that attorney who has three clients with differing interests has something to worry about in that regard.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Why won’t they all end up with different (conflictng) counsel?

  • arglebargle

    O’Shannon McGhannon is the name of my Dropkick Murphy’s cover band.

  • James Baskin

    OT but, a prostitute can say no too.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      You’re totally right. Just because we grow up saying something, doesn’t mean we should say it forever.

      • Hesavebread!

        In our firm we regularly say “Fuck no, that isn’t worth it” to the partner who won’t say no.

    • Roadstergal

      I was going to post the same thing. :) Selling a service, terms and conditions apply!

      • puredog

        But can you get PRIME shipping?

        • Captain Kraut

          Alas, it’s all too often PIMP shipping instead.

    • John Thorstensen

      ESPECIALLY if providing the service would contradict her religious beliefs.

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        As in “Jesus Christ, that is skeevy!”

  • OrG

    Oh hey, let’s LOCK HIM UP!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Never, never trust a boomer age Republican who likes to dress up like it was the 60’s and play bad covers of 60’s rock. You can be sure they were not doing it then, so if they are doing it now they have experienced catastrophic brain failure somewhere between then and now.

    • stablegeniusahughes798

      If that’s a recent picture, I doubt he was alive in the ’60’s.

      • JackLinks

        Date of Birth – June 16, 1968

        • stablegeniusahughes798

          Ok. He was barely alive in the ’60’s, LOL.

          • Slamtundra

            On behalf of Gen Xers everywhere, I am sorry.

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            Don’t be….I’ll forgive Gen Xer’s for just about anything ‘cuz you gave us grunge.

  • Prostitutes can, indeed, say no. Attorneys have more constraints and less ethics.

    • Flashman

      Both can say, “You can’t do it that way, but you can do it this way.”

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Prostitutes are far more likely to say something like than attorneys. At least that is what my attorney friend says.

      • Tetman Callis

        I worked for an attorney who said, “The best clients are the ones who always pay their bills on time and won’t do a thing you say.”

  • Ryan Denniston

    I hope Rachel has Chuck Rosenberg to explore further!

  • Bub the very stable zombie

    After all this is over, he can form a new band and call it the “(Dis)Bar(Red) Association.”

  • Cillizza et al will be like BUTWHATABOUTBILLCLINTON? HUH?

  • gnomemansanisland

    Prostitutes can’t say no but they can say “Ugh, here we go.”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “Ugh, Here We Go” would make a good title for the eagerly-anticipated Stormy Daniels as-told-to Michael Wolff autobiography.

  • gratuitous

    The difference between a rooster and a lawyer? A rooster clucks defiance.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I love a good Learned Hand reference. And people think coming up with weird names for their kids is new.

    • The Wanderer

      Kennesaw Mountain Landis.

      • Ellie

        I was unfamiliar with this name, although I shouldn’t have been. He was interesting, and now I’ve learned something new, which always makes it a better day.

      • little miss high and mighty

        messed up baseball forever (exclusionary clause etc etc)

      • puredog

        “Kenesaw.”

  • FlownΩver

    Prostitutes can’t say no? And here I thought they really, really liked me!

    [Note to Señora Flown: not intended to be a factual statement]

  • James Baskin

    I’m hoping for Shit Sharknado. With extra sharp teeth.

    • Jay Hansen

      A Saw-Toothed, Peanut-Backed Urban Brown?

  • ibwilliamsi

    It’s funny that he wears a shirt advertising that pee water “Mello Yello”.

    • Roadstergal

      Trump told him to.

  • Sakonyachen

    “You’re a lawyer, not a prostitute. YOU CAN SAY NO.”

    That may work for you because it’s true. Anyone who would represent Trump and Co.? They either didn’t do their research(cheap whore!), or they did and decided it’s worth the money(high priced escort, which is code for expensive whore.)

  • Jukesgrrl

    Thank you, FDF. That was very clear and concise. I’m amused that President Dunnin-Kruger and his son D-K Jr. seem to be under the impression that merely saying the word “lawyer” while they are talking, or having anyone with a law degree in any room in which they are located, allows them to invoke lawyer-client privilege.

  • Thorn Spike

    Has anyone claimed Some Clever Fuckery as a band name yet? If not, dibs.

  • hillarysleftone

    actually it works better (or at least, exactly as well) as, “You’re a prostitute, not a lawyer; YOU CAN SAY NO.”

    • hillarysleftone

      oh shit, I see this has been more than exhaustively covered. Sorry.

  • Are your eyes glazing over with all this lawtalk

    The only thing I can understand is Trump is a criminal.

    Who hires other criminals to help him cover up his criminal crimes.
    https://i.imgflip.com/13p8rf.jpg

    Trump 2020: The Unflushable

  • msanthrope

    I’m a lawyer, and a former prosecutor, but I’m flummoxed by this stuff. I’m used to dealing with much more straightforward criminals, like thieves and murderers.

    • h4rr4r

      A more honorable type.

    • Jezzam

      The good old days

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks, $5F. Now I don’t just like you, I like your mom, too. Good Shabbos.

    • Trumpsters_are_fools

      how old is her mom? is she as cute as FDF? am I an old horny guy? well, yes, but whateves!

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      And a Good Shabbos to you, too, Madame!

  • Teto85

    Nope. Not glazed over. But I have read several article in oncology journals last night and today, so more like my brain feels very fuzzy right now. Thanks $5F

  • puredog

    Hey — as has no doubt been pointed out in one of the previous 348 comments — prostitutes can say no, also too.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      That’s long-settled law although in any given year, you can find some judge or two who thinks the contrary (and who gets ignominiously overturned on appeal.)

  • canes_pugnaces

    The truth is the GOP has decided that there are no laws that apply to Trump.

  • Magnificent Mopery.

    Great article, fdf.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Thanks!

  • BJW

    This is a great article! And your mom sounds most excellent and full of ethics…a quality that isn’t associated with McGahn, Trump et al.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Well, gosh, what do you expect from a Cooley Law grad?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      A really bad 70s hairstyle?

  • m3bosha

    Aw… Shitnado! I have been searching for the proper term for the administration. Shitnado it is.

  • Last Hussar

    From The Hill BTL

    DNC paid for Steele dossier (true)
    Some of Steele’s sources are Russian (true)
    Ergo Hillary colluded with the Russians.

  • Carolyn

    Google paying me $98 per-hr to work from my home .. Do job Some just few time and live happy more time together with your family … Any one can also have this job…last Saturday I bought a latest Fiat Pandaafter just earning $18200 last four weeks .it seems fantastic but you could no longer forgive yourself if you don’t Get it.!jw081d:>>>> http://GoogleDailyNewsGateWorkFromHome/more/cash ♥♥v♥♥♥o♥p♥♥♥p♥♥m♥i♥♥n♥v♥♥n♥♥a♥♥s♥m♥a♥o♥♥g♥♥g♥♥♥u♥♥♥c♥♥♥y♥♥v♥♥j♥♥n♥d♥i♥♥s:::::!xw841f:lhu

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    I understand a certain amount of lawtalk, am hoping McGhan will get a nice disbarment if found guilty of criming to help the criminals.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Learned Handses references is always appreciated…

    And, I appreciate both people of a couple working, if they want, but why do all these Republican Ratfucker couples double-dip in political rat fuckery? I suppose rat fuckers will just rat fuck, all they can, like regular decent rats binging on rat food pellets.

    • Brent

      Yaaass! Learned Hand references for the win. B < PL =
      Treasonous Preznit Trump.

      Also barges and bargees

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Oh, and won’t it be nice when “lawyer as a fact witness” enters the mainstream media vocabulary, and even better, the right wing media rage machine.

  • John Strycharz

    On the other hand, he’s not Ted Nugent, so he has that going for him.

  • SkinlessGenderlessMan

    “You’re a lawyer, not a prostitute. YOU CAN SAY NO.”

    Prostitutes can say “no” also, but there are sometimes repercussions, sadly.

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