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The Official Monster Raving Loony Party wishes it to be known these gents are far too nutso for the OMRLP.

Six or seven anti-Muslim, pro-Brexit idiots calling themselves the “White Pendragons” tried to pull off a citizens’ arrest of London Mayor Siddiq Khan Saturday, but didn’t have much luck, even though they proclaimed themselves empowered under “common law” to do so. They even had a home-made gallows (for show only), an American flag that they held up backwards, and a fanatical devotion to Donald Trump. But the audience that had come to hear Khan address the lefty Fabian Society only laughed at the Pendragons’ list of demands, and once the police arrived, the brave protectors of English whiteness were arrested, to applause.

Here’s a highlight video from the Guardian:

Also, real emetic fans can watch a full cellphone video by the Pendragons’ leader, Davey Russell, a member of the rightwing white supremacist English Defense League. It’s just short of 30 minutes long, and like a fine Australian table wine, guaranteed to open up the sluices at both ends.

Russell and his fellow dipwads showed up ready to “arrest” Khan for a variety of crimes they’d made up, accusing him of collaborating with terrorists and insisting Khan somehow crimed by calling for Donald Trump to cancel his trip to the UK — even though everyone knows that was Barack Obama’s fault. Russell also said that Khan had no business talking about global politics like a globalist, because that’s above his pay grade: “He should keep his nose out of state affairs and look out for what’s going on in London,” said the alleged hominid outside the meeting hall, where he parked his pretend gallows:

Once Khan began to speech, one of the Silly Party’s members got up to deliver a very serious statement, as the Washington Post reports:

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today to make a peaceful, nonviolent citizen’s arrest of those named,” the man said. He named Khan and Parliament member Kate Green, who was chairing the event, and two other speakers.

Green asked a security guard to please show the group the door, but Green has apparently been on the internet, and explained that he couldn’t be removed, because Fake Law Reasons:

“We are under common law jurisdiction!” Russell cried. “If you touch us, you will be done for common assault. We’re not leaving.”

But the guard persisted, and soon Russell was arguing. “I paid for a ticket! Do not touch me,” he said. “We have paid for a ticket. . . . Okay, so we want the money back for the ticket then. We cannot be reimbursed for the ticket. We cannot be reimbursed!”

He said he had called the police before crashing the speech, and promised they would soon arrive to arrest the mayor. It would just be a few minutes.

“Please don’t panic, anybody,” Russell said.

The audience somehow managed not to panic. In fact, they began to slow clap while waiting for the doofuses to be removed. The Pendragons gathered in a corner and Russell explained to curious audience members that Khan would soon be arrested for “subverting British law,” although he couldn’t get much more specific than that. A reporter asked him what authority he had to arrest Khan, and he said, “The Magna Carta,” just like an American SovCit would say “the Constitution” and then sign his name in lowercase letters with a thumbprint.

The police still hadn’t arrived after 10 minutes or so, so one of the protesters took his backwards American flag to hold up and show to Khan:

“Mr. Khan,” the man said, “there’s millions of British people supporting Donald Trump.”

The audience booed especially loudly at this. “Good one!” Russell cheered.

Talk about owning the libs! You bet they were triggered!

Once the cops showed up, Russell, who was livestreaming the whole mess, was looking forward to their assistance in taking Khan to prison. That’s a big difference from American SovCit practice, where they expect the county sheriff to help them set up a trial for treason and then maybe hope a summary execution is in the offing. But sadly, when a constable came into the hall, he instead told Russell, who was sure he had the Magnum Condom on his side, “You’ll have to leave now.”

The constable didn’t seem to take Russell’s list of complaints very seriously, either, even though it listed, among other things, violations of “the Coronation Oath Act of 1688.” The copper did at least say the police would “investigate” Russell’s grievances. When Russell demanded the police seize Khan and take him in, the officer said, “We don’t do citizen’s arrests…We do lawful arrests.” Which of course means the corrupted law of the New World Order.

Russell and the White Pendragons were eventually persuaded to leave, although he kept demanding a refund for his ticket. Back at the podium, the wanted criminal mayor dismissed the brave patriots as if they were mere common ruffians:

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” he said, “even though we were distracted by the actions of what some would call very stable geniuses.”

Later, on his Faceplace page, Russell declared victory, insisted he was still absolutely in the right since he’d been the one to call police, and celebrated with really bad photoshops:

Also, unlike the sneering, disrespectful mockery in the Washington Post, Dead Breitbart’s Home For Scared White People gave the White Peendraggers a very flattering writeup, full of scary crime statistics and the sense that London is on the verge of being overrun by ISIS:

Good to see that some people still love Donald Trump, even if they can’t vote for him. Obviously, we need to change our immigration laws.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to throw money at us! No bangers and mash, bubble and squeak, or spotted dick, please.

[WaPo / Breitbart]

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  • proudgrampa

    They seem nice.

  • gnomemansanisland

    The virus is spreading

  • ManchuCandidate

    https://media.giphy.com/media/5U4uFSd7JDsQ/giphy.gif

    Reaction of English yobs/knobs when their “plan” failed.

    • amrak63

      Kirk libelz!

  • Baconzgood

    I could never really understand English accents. All I caught was “mutton chops”, “shitty food” and, and somthing about “Are You Being Served?”

    Can I get a Google translation over here?

    • ManchuCandidate

      It can only be understood in its original German.

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      Something something would you like faggots with your spotted dick?

  • Asterix

    Did we export this bullshit or is it just universal?

    • ManchuCandidate

      Universal

    • C4TWOMAN

      Sadly universal. Both Britain and the States had populations in the 1930’s who supported Hitler and the Nazis, for instance, up until the actual war broke out.

  • BigCSouthside

    If these guys came to the states I bet they could be elected senators from some of our more “Brown averse” states

  • Wait–I thought being dumbasses was Americans’ jobs. I haz a confuze.

  • JaveyDay

    Oh, those poor little Tighty-Whitey Peengoblins. Bless their sad little hearts.

    • amrak63

      And their pointed little heads.

  • Baconzgood

    These are the immigrants Trump wants.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m torn. On one hand, these are horrifying creatures. On the other hand, our zoo just got rid of some of the shit-flinging chimpanzees that were so popular, and these guys would probably be perfect in that exhibit space.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Wish I could upfist this more than once. Are they to be billed as the rare British Trumpencezees then?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          We’ll keep them near to the Orange Coated Shithibbon, if funds allow.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I like it.

      • “M”

        Lock! Them! Out!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Lovely shade thrown by Mr. Khan, too, calling them “stable geniuses.” LOL

  • elviouslyqueer
  • memzilla Ω

    The copper did at least say the police would “investigate” Russell’s grievances.

    The copper was using “investigate” as a euphemism for the verb “shitcan.” #polite

  • vukojebina_MΩment

    Very Stable Geniuses Try To Arrest London’s Mayor For High Crime Of Brownness

    To be fair, also Mooselimbed.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    The Magna Carta? So these guys are land barons and noble gentry? I think they have a point. Why won’t Khan allow the to subjugate their indentured servants more?!?!

    • JaveyDay
      • Latverian Diplomat

        “He who smelt it, dealt it” goes way back to the roots of our legal system

        • JaveyDay

          “Objection, Your Highness! He who denied it, supplied it!”

        • Cock Blockula

          “He who refuted it, tooted it” — Bart Simpson

    • Latverian Diplomat

      MCMA — Make Carta Magna Again!

    • vukojebina_MΩment

      More importantly, who gets stuck with the bill for the servants’ dentures?

    • “Magna Carta” sounds awfully Latin-y.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        That makes it classy, a fine layer of gold paint.

        • puredog

          Right:
          Latin-y = good.
          Latino-y = bad.
          Who knew it was so complicated.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Khan handled that like a boss, he sat down and read the newspaper while they talked and just ignored their dumbass comments.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This is what happens when soccer hooligans decide it’s time to grow up and take an interest in politics?

    • amrak63

      Or is it what happens when you frisk a stranger in the Alps?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I think it’s what happens when soccer hooligans take one too many blows to the head.

  • Sorry, I can’t take anyone’s legal knowledge seriously until they start complaining about flags with gold fringes.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Yeah he is Scottish but Peter Capaldi has a message for these clowns.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUq8dSOqWkw

    • Thiazin Red
    • C4TWOMAN

      I love that man. Wish he could have played the Doctor for at least as long as Baker did.

      • Thiazin Red

        This past season was so good. I’m glad Chibnall couldn’t take over right away, otherwise we never would have gotten him and Bill.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Now I’m hunting down Capaldi’s other work. I lost track of him after his stint as “Vera” in “Prime Suspect” and that was AGES ago…

          • Thiazin Red

            He was really great in season 3 of Torchwood. Uh, he was also in Lair of the White Worm, which is ….well its something alright.

          • C4TWOMAN

            I’m seeing that on his wiki page. Dare I click to find out more?
            Remind who he was in Torchwood? Been a while.
            I’m going to give “In the Loop” a whirl…

          • marxalot

            I was so disappointed in White Worm. I watched that whole thing waiting for Hugh Grant to get it in the neck, and it never happens.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Welp, it looks like it might be cheesy, retro fun, so I’ll download it and watch it when I’m in the right mood.

          • Thiazin Red

            Doesn’t it implied happen right after the cameras stop?

          • marxalot

            NOT GOOD ENOUGH

          • Thiazin Red

            He was the government functionary who dealt with the aliens and Torchwood.

          • C4TWOMAN

            I know the character, but can’t clearly remember him. Ah well, it isn’t like I don’t have all of the Torchwood series. I could just go check.

          • Fire and Fury Demme

            Look him up on imdb.com
            They will list everything he’s been in.

          • theCryptofishist

            I love Lair. Nicely done froth is nicely done.

          • godsaidHA

            LOCAL HERO! Peter Riegert is at the airport laden with luggage and a raincoat. “Can I give you a wee hand?” Capaldi asks, and takes the raincoat.

          • C4TWOMAN

            LOL. I wrote a similar scene in a story once, an energetic lad offers help to the new boy in town, and picks up the smallest piece of luggage….

      • Magma Carthole jesterpunk

        I think it was his choice to leave because of how strenuous the work is. He injured himself quite a few times playing the Doctor. I am going to miss him though, he was a really good Doctor.

      • Mark Lungo

        Tom or Colin?

        • C4TWOMAN

          Tom. Lol, forgot about Colin–everyone seems too.

  • Baconzgood

    “He should keep his nose out of state affairs and look out for what’s going on in London,” 

    Yeah. Because London isn’t one the great cities of the world and a jewl of humankind.

  • James Baskin

    Can we make a present of Liberace to them?

  • goonemeritus

    That performance will probably negatively effect his dating life.

    • yyyaz

      Negative zero is a helluva concept.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Agreed. If he had a dating life he wouldn’t be there.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        One’s complement had its day. We’ve moved on. :-)

      • goonemeritus

        Still, there was always a chance, even people who drive PT Cruisers occasionally find someone to date.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Isn’t there an island where their stable geniuses and our stable geniuses could live and rule in peace? Elba? The Falklands? Diego Garcia?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I vote for Baffin or Kiska.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Bouvet.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        You want all those Norwegian penguins to migrate to the US?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Sure. We’ll just give Norway South Carolina or something in return for the island.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            The penguins will demand single-payer health care and free tuition for college. Also, too, they will reject the trade for SC because penguins have more sense than that. We could throw in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Still worth it.

    • Magma Carthole jesterpunk

      Sealand?

    • gnomemansanisland

      The Island of Dr. Moreau

    • Nockular cavity

      Bikini Atoll.

    • marxalot

      Faroe?

    • (((Sedagive)))

      St. Helena, of course.

      • Arolpin

        Or Mount Saint Helens would work too, especially when it’s in an active state.

        • (((Sedagive)))

          Drop ’em right in (with votes and perhaps a helicopter).

    • Gosala

      Is it against the rules to suggest Tire nan Og?

      • The Wanderer

        No. But the Land of Youth won’t want them. Try next door; Bifrost is looking for archery target holders.

    • LiberalANDProud

      Devil’s

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Too nice. Something more, uh, rustic. Their Utopia needs to start from scratch.

        On second thought, Devil’s Island would be starting from “Scratch,” wouldn’t it?

  • ScottGoode

    Now they are even starting it

    “like a fine Australian table wine, guaranteed to open up the sluices at both ends.”

    • The Wanderer

      Was that Chateau Chunder?

      • Werewolf

        This is a woine with a missage, and the missage is “Beware!”

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Peendraggers libulz!!1!

    no way any of these Nancy boys are in any danger of that ever happening, even the midget with the backwards flag…

    • C4TWOMAN

      To be fair, he made the same mistake many do, holding it up right from what you’re seeing, not from what a camera is viewing…

      • theCryptofishist

        Sort of the same thing as carving a backwards “B” into your own face.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Exactly.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I piss in the general direction of your nonfunctional guillotine, you backwoods amateurs.”
    — Robespierre

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and your father smelt of elderberries!

      • Baconzgood

        Go away or I will taunt you a second time you stupid English ass holes.

  • goonemeritus

    So much for a British accent making you seem smarter.

  • BadKitty904

    I thought the Brits exported all these people to Australia long ago…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNBy1D1Y0h4

  • Thiazin Red

    I bet these chodes aren’t even proper Britons. Anglo-Saxons more like. Or maybe even those illegal immigrant Danes.

    • BadKitty904

      They don’t seem to have taken either the high or the low woads…

      • Gosala

        “God is going to get you for that. ”
        Bea Arthur as “Maude”

        • BadKitty904

          *purrs*

      • Nockular cavity

        Now that’s an odd Angle to take.

        • yyyaz

          Great Picts often depend on the angle used.

    • Asterix

      No, no, no… Welsh.

      • Meccalopolis

        Hey!

    • marxalot

      Norman dogs.

  • Ms. MLG on Maui

    A bunch of incompetent, delusional morons love Trump?! One day, if I concentrate with all my might, I will put my finger on why all incompetent, delusional morons love that man. Until then, it remains a mystery.

    • Asterix

      Don’t waste the brain cells – it’s just not worth it.

    • BigCSouthside

      I prefer to think of ways to concentrate them somewhere they can’t do damage, like the Kuiper Belt

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        The Phantom Zone?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      He validates their delusional incompetence.

      • yyyaz

        Truer and sadder words were never written.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Very fine people, on both sides of the Atlantic, threatening to lynch the brown-skinned folks. And after being thoroughly mocked, claiming flawless victory.

    • Baconzgood

      They won because their mums said they did.

      Alt-Right, the every one gets a trophy day of political movements.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Figures, their leader is a guy who gave himself golf trophies for “championships” he won at his own golf course. And made up fake magazine covers with bullshit “awards” calling him Best Awesomest Guy of the Whenever.

  • I assume “Magna Carta” is Latin for “Make England Great Again”.

    • Meccalopolis

      Smegma Carta

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I think it means Condom Cards, but it’s been a while since I took any kind of foreign language.

  • C4TWOMAN

    “There’s millions of British people supporting Donald Trump”

    But until Trump is PM the rest of the British people don’t give a toss.

    • BadKitty904

      Good. Then they can get Putin to put him on their golden throne.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That’s so sad. I had no idea that their population of utter morons was so high.

  • BadKitty904

    FREEDOM FOR NORTHUMBRIA! UNLEASH MERCIA!!!

  • Baconzgood

    Hey wait. Under the Magna Carta doesn’t he have to be some sort of barron or lord to have ANY authority?

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    The constable didn’t seem to take Russell’s list of complaints very seriously, either, even though it listed, among other things, violations of “the Coronation Oath Act of 1688.”

    I was not aware that the mayor of London was subject to the same oath as the British monarch…

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      London didn’t even have a mayor until 2000 either. Before Khan it was BoJo, another peroxide-headed chest-puffing idiot.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The trump level qualified Foreign Secretary.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Joe the Plumber looks as good as ever.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    America is turning into a shithole, thanks to the idiot Trumpanzees constantly making fools of themselves in public

    Limey Hooligan: Hold my ale

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “We cannot be reimbursed!”
    -Worst. Battlecry. Ever.

    • gnomemansanisland

      Remember the Receipt!!

      • Meccalopolis

        Validate!

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’ve Wasted My Money!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Don’t Forget To Ask For A Purchase Order Too!

      • OneYieldRegular

        “Three pound ‘service fee’!”

    • Nockular cavity

      We cannot be reimbursed,
      we cannot be reimbursed.
      Just like a package that you’ve already opened,
      we can’t be reimbursed!

    • therblig

      “They make take our lives, but they’ll never take our store credit!!!!”

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Famously used by Cromwell’s New Model Army after they realized that their red uniforms faded in the wash.

    • JaveyDay
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The President of the United States is an international racist icon. Neat.

    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      London calling to the faraway towns…

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Upfisted ’cause I live by the river.

        • willi0000000

          surely not in a van?

          • Jacqueline

            Goo-g-le is paying $97 per h-o-ur,with weekly p-a-youts.Y-o-u can al-s-o avail this.O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 t-h-is last four weeks..wi-t-h-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever d-o-ne .. It sou-n-ds unbelievable but you wont forgive y-o-urself if you don’t check it!qx531i:➺➺➺ http://GoogleDailyConsumerLoveUpdateWorkFromHome/find/jobs ♥♥♥h♥♥k♥♥e♥♥w♥♥♥t♥♥g♥♥b♥a♥♥♥a♥♥♥q♥♥m♥d♥♥♥c♥♥♥p♥♥♥h♥♥♥b♥♥k♥♥k♥l♥♥y♥♥♥q♥♥♥o♥♥♥i♥r♥♥s:::::!ux331b:lhuhuh

      • The Wanderer

        (Greenslade): “This is London, calling the world.”
        (Eccles): “Hallo, world!”

        • Invisible Bunyip

          Now *that’s* an old reference.

    • Asterix

      I am so proud.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      My stomach is still churning at the realization this is what we represent.

      • Jamie Stewart

        We don’t, thanks.

        Tiny groups of snivelling, racist loons represent no one but themselves, and the rate of schisms within their bandit gang style organisations suggests that they barely do that, either.

        In other news, the dragon on that flag looks very close to the one on my country’s actual, internationally recognised, flag. I’d not be shocked if they just plain stole it.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Pendra Goons.

    • Arolpin

      It’s WHITE Pendra Goons. (The white part is important)

      • Asterix

        Right – as in White Pendragons. Pendragon loosely means Chief, or Leader or General.

  • Michael Smith

    Hahah – “If you touch us, you will be done for common assault.”

    Common Assault? Who were they dealing with, a Common Trump Campaign Manager?

    • marxalot

      “That’s all right lads, how about you hold still and let me try for Uncommon?”

  • BadKitty904

    Nice to see Bill Sykes is alive and “well”…

  • Toomush Stability

    I suppose it’s wrong to think that they should all be taken down to the local tattoo parlor and have “Idiot” tattooed on their foreheads? Why does life have to be so complicated?…

  • Nounverb911

    London must be ecstatic that trump didn’t show up for the Obaman Embassy opening today….
    https://twitter.com/business/status/953256575329865728

  • msanthropesmr

    It’s not a Union Jack! That’s only if it is flying on ship. The proper term is Jolly Roger.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      In their case their insignia should be called a Union Jackass.

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    These fuckers are the kind of shithole shitheads who killed Jo Cox and cried “BRITAIN FIRST”. They need to be shown no mercy and summarily imprisoned for life in the Tower.

  • Anna Rompage

    Who knew they had Yeehawdists in England too?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Ours must have come from somewhere. I’ve always blamed the Irish, but perhaps it’s throughout the Isles.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    He needs to learn to photoshop better. Ain’t that right Sarah Stuffed-Chair Sanders?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/42f293b456adabafdf5fa1a99961f6759a911bc91ef02ff2b1c115b797505ff6.jpg

    • gnomemansanisland

      That’s not photoshopped.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Actually, I put the flag in there to give it that Patriotic Spir*t.

  • Magma Carthole jesterpunk

    Wait they are Trump supporters in London telling London’s mayor not to worry about what happens outside of London?

    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/719/509/0ad.png

  • Nounverb911

    Needs more “Riding them out on a rail”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypW9ptwviRU

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This is what a lifetime of rain and Spotted Dick brings.

    • willi0000000

      well spotted!

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Toad in the Hole isn’t much help either. And a lifetime of eating fried fish and chips spiced with tabloid ink, also, too.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I’m just an observer from the other side of the ocean, but maybe these guys should be more concerned with the Tories destabilizing the NHS and trying to tear down the social safety net in Britain. I seem to recall some rather big promises about NHS funding being used to drive Brexit votes that turned out to be bullshit. I’m no stable genius, but I’d be a lot more cheesed off about that than a brown Muslim being mayor of London.

    • Magma Carthole jesterpunk

      They are a lot like conservatives here and don’t think they should have to pay taxes or support “those people”.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Huh, so… they’re the same everywhere?

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Thanks to Murdoch’s media empire, constantly inflaming the ill educated, yes.

  • CW

    Trumpers are too bigoted to realize that Chelsea Manning did then a big solid by giving ASSange those diplomatic cables.

  • gnomemansanisland

    So that’s what they mean by wankers?

    • The Wanderer

      Yep.

    • These ones might even be tossers…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or gits

        • The Wanderer

          Or flaming spunk-lorries.

          • msanthropesmr

            Berk

          • redarmyzombie

            Weapons-grade plums…

          • Blanche de Shambles

            Or berks.

        • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

          Gobshites? Plonkers?

  • Magma Carthole jesterpunk
  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    as I understand it, when our flag is backwards, it’s considered a battle flag. that’s why it’s backwards on the astronauts’ uniforms: because they are members of the US military and are doing battle with space.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      If they had fringe on them, they’d be able to engage in space piracy. US Const. Art. XII.

    • therblig

      i thought it was so when aliens look in their rearview mirrors they can see it’s from america. the more you know.

  • Michael R
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    calling themselves the “White Pendragons”

    Great–I just started to ROTFL at work. Thanks wingnuts!

    • BadKitty904

      Their first album of Morris dancing hits is due to be released soon…

      • theCryptofishist

        Saddleworth Rush Cart LIE BullllzZZZZ!

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      The Welsh Pendragon is red.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    A reporter asked him what authority he had to arrest Khan, and he said, “The Magna Carta,”

    Which one? The one from King John? or one of the later ones? Because the first one don’t mean shit.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      No, no, no. The MAGA Carta. It sounded better in the original German.

  • LiberalANDProud

    Enemas of the State.

    • BadKitty904

      This threat is nothing to sniff at.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Timothy Watson

    I always feel compelled to post this video when sovereign citizens come up:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfSkBONbDwA

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I once read a judge’s opinion in which he wrote, “the ramblings of Dale Gribble do not constitute recognized legal authority.”

    • Sheepshagger

      https://youtu.be/RfVbiefMdNU?t=129

      I always liked this one. “You’re blocking my freedom of movement”
      “I am”
      TASER!!!!!!

      • h4rr4r

        P BARNES!

        • Sheepshagger

          I love P Barnes. I’m not normally a fan of fascist bully boy tactics, but I’ve watched too many Sovcits impose on the patience of courts over the years. A good fucking tasing is what they need.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Thanks for cheering me up today!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    First, they came for the Pendragons, but I was so busy laughing I didn’t see them being taken away.

  • janecita
  • Oblios_Cap

    Only Breitbart could frame that as some sort of white power victory instead of the sad fail it was.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Dead Breitbart has never been accused of being smart.

      • redarmyzombie

        Or honest.

  • BadKitty904
  • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

    The only good thing about these morons is they gave me an idea for my new disqus name.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      What not Pendragon Jesterpunk?

      • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

        I just thought it was funny their whole argument was “Magna Carta”.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Yes, considering they don’t seem to understand it was an agreement to the nobles to limit the kings powers, at least as I understand it.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    Hey Pendragons – don’t anger Morgaine (again). You won’t like her when she’s angry.

    • everstar

      She’ll steal your scabbard and chuck it in the lake!

  • La forza del resistino

    wait until these goons find out a mixed race Yank lady will soon be inhabiting a palace in their merry olde.

  • msanthropesmr

    Kevin Phillips Bong

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      He’s only slightly silly.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Really don’t mind if you sit this one out
    My word’s but a whisper your deafness a shout
    I may make you feel but I can’t make you think
    Your sperm’s in the gutter your love’s in the sink
    So you ride yourselves over the fields
    And you make all your animal deals
    And your wise men don’t know how it feels
    To be thick as a brick

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    I hope the Wiener Peendragons are not who President Diaper Shits is talking about when he talks about the types of immigrants he’d rather see.

    • Bobathonic

      Well, they are white…

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        and they are 100% XY chromosome havers…even if they don’t have the peens and testicles that go with that.

  • thewalkindude

    OT: huge load of bullshit incoming-Tump’s medical report about to be announced…239 pounds!!!

    • Sheepshagger

      Prepare the Equivocater!

      • Blanche de Shambles

        She’s still in makeup!

    • gnomemansanisland

      No fucking way!

    • BadKitty904

      BALLISTIC BULLSHIT THREAT INBOUND TO U.S. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

    • msanthropesmr

      Big Mac r gud for u

    • “Released with the permission of the president”, 239 pounds.

      Right then good doctor.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        That’s just ass fat. They didn’t say whole body.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Doctor “I’m less than five years from retirement, what do you want me to say sir?” Jackson

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        239 pounds? Maybe if you cut off everything below the waist.

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          Except the head, which is an empty container.

    • cmd resistor

      I think that is the Doctor Dude speaking live before Sarah’s turn. I don’t have the sound on but he looks official and I had read he would be announcing his shit at today’s press briefing.

    • gnomemansanisland

      He can engage in normal sexual activity. Sorry, Melon.

      • h4rr4r

        From what I hear the kind he engages in might not be classified as normal.

        • nightmoth

          I wouldn’t piss on him if he paid me, since he likes that.

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      Bullfucking shit.

    • gnomemansanisland

      His cholesterol is borderline high – thanks McDonald’s!!

    • Curiously, he left out “Very Stable Genius”.

    • gnomemansanisland

      The president is fat and has high cholesterol. Hope is alive!

    • BigCSouthside

      There is no fucking way he is 239 pounds

    • Arolpin

      I suspect that he’s closer to 239kg than to 239 pounds.

  • nightmoth

    Is it better to laugh at right-wing loons, or sucker punch them? I need to make up my mind for future reference.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Punch then laugh or laugh then punch for added element of surprise. With votes of course.

    • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Rebel Scum with permit

      A proud British citizen who would have been deported to the US as excess floor sweepings during the Colonial Era.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        We’ve always been a shithole, haven’t we…

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Well, it’s OUR shithole.

    • Arolpin

      I just know that I wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire. I might try to extinguish the fire with a pitchfork (of votes).

  • everstar

    I wonder if Mr. Khan would consider reinstating the use of the stocks for these fine upstanding citizens. An hour or two in Trafalgar Square would cheer the London public immensely, I should think.

    (Also, why are they holding up an American flag if they’re appealing to British common law?)

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Because RWNJs are idiots. There’s “Three Percenters” in Canada too. Completely ignorant of the fact that their name refers to a myth about the American revolutionaries comprising three percent of the population who took down the mighty British Empire with muskets and pea shooters. Also too, that they literally live in a country that was basically forged out of the Loyalists fleeing north. On one hand you could consider it treason. But it’s also abject stupidity. Not everything can be attributed to Russian ‘bots either. These morons are stupid enough that they file petitions in the courts to get Trudeau arrested under the “First Amendment to the Charter of Rights and Freedoms” for violating their “free speech.” Which doesn’t even fucking exist…

      • everstar

        It’s nice to know that RWNJ idiocy is a cross-cultural universal truth.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Haven’t you always wondered what became of the kids who didn’t pay any attention in school?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Attention British idiots: Hold up your own fucking flag next time, OK? We have enough dipshits over here waving the American flag around. We don’t need more, in England or anywhere else.

    Plus, the Union Jack is symmetrical, so you won’t have to worry about holding it backwards.

    • msanthropesmr

      Whaarrrgarbble it’s only a Union Jack if it’s flying on a ship whargarble. Spittle drool

      • elviouslyqueer

        Down, boy, DOWN.

        • Blanche de Shambles

          I’m sorry- he does this sometimes.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Somehow, I think these lot might prefer the one with just the St. George’s cross on it.

      • Bitter Scribe

        I’m guessing the Scots and the Irish would prefer they keep to the St. George’s cross too.

        • Werewolf

          Cymry too, also.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      There are a few books on Amazon on Time Travelling Richard III. If he came to this century, I could see this bunch declaring they were for the Plantagenets. Richard would smirk thoughtfully and say “Yay, cannon fodder” (they had primitive cannons in his time).

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Well, they’re already supporters of King Dick the Turd.

    • Hesavebread!

      *Pushes specs up nose* Actually it isn’t symmetrical so you can fly it backwards, but not upside down. The white stripes are different thicknesses.

      • Arolpin

        Bi-lateral symmetry, FTW!

      • OneYieldRegular

        Meg and Jack White libel!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Our racists often fly their flag alongside the nazi and confederate flags and we’re the ones with the racist President, so I think we earned this one.

    • bbayliss
      • Oblios_Cap

        I knew the first two.

  • Baconzgood

    I’ve only saw that word pendragon at one place and it was over a stand that sold turkey legs and leather mugs at a renaissance fair.

    • msanthropesmr

      Were there saucy wenches dressed up like the Wilson sisters from Heart?

    • Sheepshagger

      Hang on a second. Turkey legs ? Why I have a feeling these Renfair types might not be entirely historically accurate.

      • Arolpin

        OK, then they’re goose legs. Alternatively, ‘A Wizard did it!”

      • Baconzgood

        I was tipped when I saw a knight wearing a casio

    • Gosala

      I do not understand turkey legs at a Renn Faire.

      Turkeys are a new world critter.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I think it’s because geese are kind of disgusting. So turkey is a substitute.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          real men eat swan…

          • Toomush Stability

            I swan…

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Turkeys were originally imported to England by William Strickland in 1526, so it still counts.

        • Gosala

          thanks, i did not know that

          * grumble, grumble, stupid facts*

    • Oblios_Cap

      Uther Pendragon had Merlin make him look like the Duke of Cornwall so that he could sleep with his wife. And that is where Arthur, who was given to Merlin to raise as his price, came from.

      • Baconzgood

        Your nerd is showing

  • Sheepshagger

    Incidentally did you know that the Magna Carta banned eel traps? thus leading to the horror of Hovercraft full of eels in the mid 20th century? Those who do not learn from history and all that.

    • ScottGoode

      Bouncy bouncy

      • msanthropesmr

        My nipples explode with delight.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Eel traps? Is that what the kids were calling them?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      This record. She is scratched.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I think we can now shut down the internet. Nothing else ever needs to be said on it.

    • doktorzoom

      That’s why you don’t see “Live at Eel Trap” on the Beeb.

  • yyyaz

    OT: Fucking hell, Dr. Ronny Jackson says the Orange Asshole is healthier than he has any right to be. Live now on CNN.

    • lowenufc

      Is he rolling his eyes and/or blinking in morse code?

      • yyyaz

        We should be so lucky.

    • OutOfOrbit

      TMI so flipped to TWC & btw, as a rule, lady scientists are hawt!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      You expect anything less? There is no chance that a doctor is going to stand in front of a camera and announce to the world that the President of the United States is dangerously unhealthy. If FDR was in office today, you’d be listening to a doctor telling you how well he walks.

      • Sheepshagger

        “It’s entirely normal and healthy for the President to spend a day wedged in the bath tub. It settles his humors “

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        So what if they had to drag the Taft chair out of storage?

    • bbayliss

      Only the good die young, this fucker will live forever.

    • ariel_gee_398

      To be fair to the good doctor, he likely had to see Trump naked. Who knows what damage that kind of trauma did to his cognitive function?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Did Dr. Ronny explain how he misspelled his own name in his original press release?

      • ScottGoode

        Maybe he was in shock having just given the old prostate test on Trump

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Fair point. No one could fail to be discombobulated after such trauma.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    I thought it was good luck to catch a leprechaun, even if its a fat bald one.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I enjoy nothing quite so much as British jeering.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I like that they built jeering right into their political system.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Not doing the same was an oversight on behalf of the U.S. government. It would really make those Gohmert presentations more palatable.

        • everstar

          So many times during Republican administrations I’ve thought, “I would give anything to institute the equivalent of Prime Minister’s Questions for the president.”

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          His speeches would get more laughs than Evening at the Improv.

    • Werewolf

      “The Right Honorable Gentleman has the manners of a pig.”
      -“Boo! Retract!”
      “Very well. The Right Honorable Gentleman hasn’t the manners of a pig.”

  • IdiotsforPalin
    • Sheepshagger

      “Two shitholes swimming in a fish bowl”

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Well, Pink did become a fascist, in he Wall movie.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Good news! Donnie is perfectly healthy other than the chronic rectal cranial inversion

  • (((Sedagive)))

    Down With This Sort Of Thing.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Won’t someone please think of the Pendragons?

    No? OK.

  • Victoria Ricola

    Get a job, dippies!

  • bbayliss

    Is there a doc on here following the labs of the prez?
    sounds like high cholesterol, but there was another metric that was kind of skimmed over without being noted as normal or in range

    • Tiffany de Houston

      I know one thing – Trump does not weigh 239 lbs. Bullshit!

    • OutOfOrbit

      you believe all that?

      • Oblios_Cap

        None.

      • bbayliss

        I believe the motherfucker will outlive me, just out of spite.

      • Rags

        no

    • cmd resistor

      So doc guy is still talking. How can he be talking so long if the answer is, guy is healthy?

    • ScottGoode

      Maybe Baby Doc?

  • Iron Monkey

    American SovCit–kind of skimming the article I encountered what I thought was American Soviet Citizen which seemed too pithy for the good old USSR.

  • HooverVilles

    Brought to you by Donald Trump

    • Oblios_Cap

      And Vlad the Putin

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    But gibberish sounds SO classy when spouted with a British accent!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Plus they have all that knights in shining armor stuff.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Graun BTL tends to be deplorable, but I always love reading when one of the non-commenters describes something as “rubbish.”

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    So, it sounds like Donald is a relatively healthy racist.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Ronnie Raygun was always perfectly healthy, too.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    What the Fuck is a “White Pendragon”?

    • Sheepshagger

      Lesser spotted Norwegian Pendragon.

      • Gosala

        Spotted or Herbacious Bacson?

        • Sheepshagger

          No one has ever looked at their nethers and not been turned to stone, so an open question.

          • elviouslyqueer

            NERDS.

          • Sheepshagger

            Oh your’e just hanging out here ironically? Haven’t you got a shoe collection to catalog?

      • amrak63

        Is it a relative of the Norwegian Blue Pendragon, which can’t be kept well in captivity because it wastes away, pining for the fjords?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I think it’s Brit slang for Hoofwanking Bunglecunt

    • MynameisBlarney

      It’s English for White Snowflake.

    • Jennifer R

      Arthur Pendragon.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Suddenly I’m craving blancmange

        • thixotropic jerk

          Careful that’s the skin disease white supremacists get that rapidly degrades into a fatal brain infection I’d have that checked out if I were you maybe something rubbed off on you from one of the derpy non-commenters?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’m also feeling a need to play tennis.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It actually meant battle Chief
        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pendragon
        Henry VII used it to rally the troops in Wales when he made his successful play for the British throne. He was big on his supposed descent from King Arthur.

  • msanthropesmr

    I wonder if we want to let these folks immigrate from their shithole country.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Probably soccer hooligans, also, too.

      • msanthropesmr

        Liverpool fans.

        • Oblios_Cap

          What with their coach’s fruity language and all.

        • Last Hussar

          Gooners.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Sure! Just not here…

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • Cock Blockula

    My aging eyes read their name as “English Dense League” which is actually a truer description.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    The fuck?

  • IdiotsforPalin

    WH Doctor says the Orange Anus has no cognitive issues…reaffirming he’s just a plain fucking idiot.

    • cmd resistor

      They probably practiced the important questions with flashcards before his exam:
      What day is it
      What country are we in
      Who is the president

      • Sheepshagger

        “Crooked Hillary Clinton!”

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        What day is it
        “Febuember.”

        What country are we in
        “Nambia.”

        Who is the president
        “Putin!”

    • Magma Cardhole jesterpunk

      The White House said that wasn’t going to be tested.

      • cmd resistor

        I figured they meant in depth psych stuff.

  • Jgb979

    In England, it’s a pretty accurate statement to call the American flag a “treason flag”, just like one can say about the confederate flag here.

    I do feel bad for Barron Trump. Born into ridiculous extravagance, he’s going to see it all ripped away from him before he’s old enough to know any better. The Trump name was at one point “Hilton for trashy idiots”. Now, it’s a pro-fascist racist slur.

    There’s probably a beautiful Bernardo Bertulluci film to be made about this 50 years from now

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e5/The_Last_Emperor_filmposter.jpg

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      I don’t believe even Bernardo Bertulluci can make this fuckery beautiful.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I love the scene where they tell him he’s too old for a wet-nurse and he replies, but, she’s my butterfly.

  • freakishlypersistent

    So now we can no longer Trust of the White House Dr Donald Trump set 245 lb about a year-and-a-half ago

  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    In better news from the mother country —

    Senior British MP slams Trump as a racist “asteroid of awfulness”

    He’s also an ass on steroids. Wait — no, probably not steroids. Statins, maybe, and probably has hemorrhoids. Or is a hemorrhoid.

    • Jonny On Maui

      That last one…

      • Sakonyachen

        I often confuse asteroids with hemorrhoids.

  • Michael R
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      “I found no racism in his body.” “It is also my opinion that his body is intact.”

    • Swampgas_Man

      What happened to the Tommy Chong like-a-look?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Busted for paraphernalia…

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Dr. Jackson said he would like the President to lose 10 to 15 pounds over the next year through diet and exercise.

      I think you forgot a zero.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        No, he clearly said “the President.”

  • lowenufc
    • Ms. MLG on Maui

      Where’s safe? Where’s familiar? Where can I smoke?

  • gnomemansanisland

    Is the president on cocaine?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Only on alternate days when he isn’t on crank.

  • Thiazin Red

    In other news, the mayor of London is a handsome dude.

    • emberglance

      My wife always tells me to take a photo of him in when I get my hair cut and ask for the same. He does seem to have mastered the “Silver Fox.”

      • Hesavebread!

        Khan is such an “Enemy of the State” that they chose a picture of him wearing a poppy.

        • emberglance

          ‘Was this red flower some kind of Islamic code?’

          • Hesavebread!

            He probably does “terrorist fist bumps” also, too.

  • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

    What’s all this, then?

  • Steve-o

    Oh my gaaaaaaawd, America has become such an embarrassment on the world stage. We are the idiot neighbor that encourages your son/daughter to do some dumbass stunt.

  • British crazies are funny and sort of charming because the UK has strong gun control laws.

    • Hesavebread!

      This, everyone can laugh because they know they are safe.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Let’s point and laugh, Nigel! Louder, chap, I say! Louder!

      • Grumpy Twat

        Jo Cox MP wasn’t safe, unfortunately. And these dumb fucks turned up with a gallows.

        • Hesavebread!

          True, there is an assumption of safety which doesn’t always pan out.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I don’t know about charming when we’re talking about this lot. There’s “charming eccentric” and then there’s angry batshit racist. They are easy to laugh at though, which is nice.

    • doktorzoom

      You mean Knifecrime Island, surely.

      • Hesavebread!

        Stabsylvania.

  • Tiffany de Houston

    OT – this physician is a real bullshitter, talking about how energetic Trump is. It’s just all about his great genes!

    • gnomemansanisland

      His genes are very aryan

      • Jonny On Maui

        Aryan Jeans. Are they in the mall?

        • RMKH

          Skymall

        • BrianW

          Yeah, they’re pretty much in every store. You just need to look in the “white goods” section of Housewares.

    • gnomemansanisland

      Reporter asks what Trump’s life expectancy is – everyone laughs nervously (hopefully?)

      • Ms. MLG on Maui

        Eleventy million years…

        • Jonny On Maui

          Like all rocks…

      • Fartknocker

        That fucker Cheney is still around….

        • RMKH

          Cheney is a special case because he’s Undead like Nosferatu. Plus he got a new (black) heart so he’s good for another millennium or two.

    • thewalkindude

      Yep, he (Dr) lost all credibility with his statement about stamina-
      The Times reported on Saturday, 27 May that six world leaders from the UK, Germany, France, Canada, Italy and Japan walked 700 yards to a piazza in the hilltop town to take a group photo at a Greek amphitheatre.

      Trump, however, reportedly decided to stay behind and wait for an electric vehicle.

      • thixotropic jerk

        That’s pretty shocking news! I would have expected Trümpf to have beated all the real true not fake not fake he’s the fake World Leaders to the pizza so he could eated it all by hisself. Hope they didn’t save him even a slice! Mmm– Greek pizza though!

    • cmd resistor

      He’s still talking, or at least taking questions. I still don’t have the sound on. Maybe Sarah paid him to use up her time so she doesn’t have to answer “shithole” questions.

  • I call bullshit on Dr. Ronnie Jekyll. He say’s trump will remain healthy through his second term.

    Reporter: “Dr. Jekyll, why does trump have the sniffles so often?”

    Dr. Jekyll: “He’s very independent and doesn’t come to me for every little thing.”

    Reporter (allegedly): “So he prefers street drugs over prescription drugs?”

    Dr. Jekyll: “The president has more stamina than any of us. He’s got great genes, incredible, I assume.”

    • Sheepshagger

      “Why do you have 14 pineal glands in your lab coat pocket Doc?”

    • Jonny On Maui

      Cocaine will pick you right up.

      And drop you like a concrete block…

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Never did drop me – always just coasted down over the next couple hours.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      “Trump will remain healthy through his second term.”

      “Doctor, what makes you sure of this?”

      “I thought I saw Rober Mueller just coming in behind me.”

  • Gayer Than Thou
  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    The Australian Wino Society thoroughly approves Dok’s analysis.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      As does the Oregonian Wino Society.

  • bbayliss
    • The test was submitted to the president two weeks in advance.

      • Jonny On Maui

        With the answers…

        • bbayliss

          And a box of crayons

  • Blanche de Shambles

    Time to bring back some of those old British classics like the Anti Nazi League or the 43 Group.
    https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4134/4919651612_be5bb99852_b.jpg
    https://www.formidablemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/sassoon.jpg
    (Yes, that is Vidal Sassoon)

    • Grumpy Twat

      I WAS AT THAT CARNIVAL!11!!!!!!!
      I was also slightly roughed up by six half-arsed skinheads on the Tube at Kings Cross station because I was wearing a Student Kampaign Against the Nazis badge.
      The late 70’s. Happy days.

      • Last Hussar

        I don’t know what happened to my ANL tshirt

  • chicken thief

    “It’s a pleasure to be here,” he said,
    “even though we were distracted by the actions of what some would call
    very stable geniuses.”

    What a smackdown! Kudos, Mayor Khan, that’s some Wonkette worthy snark right there.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Now we see the violence inherent in the system.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Of course that security guard would refuse to process this paragon of white superiority’s ticket refund, he’s a blah!!!11!1!!
    (Did I do that right? I don’t know if I made it sound quite stupid enough.)

    • thixotropic jerk

      Did you hit yourself in the face a few times with your own (votational) fist and then amputate your brain from the stem up? Then yes, congrats, mate!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I did not. I guess I’m just not committed enough.

        • thixotropic jerk

          For commitment issues you’ll need to get something straight, jack-et.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Oh shit. Orange Foolius will be tweeting about his support in the UK.

  • freakishlypersistent

    Utterly disgusted with that Dr’s performance. I Don’t know what to believe anymore.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Dr. Dragpeener is the Best Dr!

  • OneYieldRegular

    So do British nut jobs go around carrying pocket copies of the Magna Carta or do they just point to ancient tree rings and yell “Magna Carta signed here!”?

    • Hesavebread!

      Ahem, “English”; Scottish nutjobs go round quoting The Declaration of Arbroath.

    • Jamie Stewart

      We Welsh just make cheese on toast and make money filming Dr Who and spinoffs.

  • Kryptonian Canis
  • MANGO CRIMES

    Weird, I don’t see that guy’s name on the list of peerages. Not entirely sure he’s read the Magna Carta?

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Um, mr wierd british sovcit person? The dragon in your traditional stories is usually the villain, who is slain by the noble english knight or tricked by the hobbit.

    Yours

    An American who Can Read Good.

    • Jamie Stewart

      Unless you are Welsh. Then it’s actually our flag and old red aint a bad reptile.

      Yeah, we have literally the most metal flag ever.

  • RandomNameAllocated

    Aha, they are obviously charging the Mayor with illegal fish traps in the river Medway. Or maybe selling short on pints of beer. For yes, these are two of the acts in the Magna Carta and were seen as far more important than the few lines on rights of law.
    There was a v good radio 4 programme with Paul Sinha about the Magna Carts – recommended

    • Last Hussar

      Think those two are no longer in force. MC had 63 clauses, of which only 3 are still in force. Unlike yanks we modernise our laws.

      • RandomNameAllocated

        Ah but would the brilliant minds at the EDL know that…?

        • Hesavebread!

          Given the other legislation they cite, I doubt it. The only parts of the Magna Carta still in force establish the CoE, give some rights to the City of London and confirm habeas corpus, and only in England.

  • John Thorstensen

    Triple upfist for the Australian Table Wines reference.

    • cogitoergodavesum

      (Many people poopoo them)

  • They didn’t even wear breeches and tricorne hats. Amateurs.

  • Nephilim

    Well, how Amerikkkan, noose and all.

  • Shrieking Harpy

    Meanwhile, Mr. Russell, the rest of us regularly get up in the morning, get the kids off to school, go to work, do the work, come home, talk to the kids about their day as we cook them dinner, help with the homework, do some laundry, do some prep for tomorrow’s work. And generally remain sane and happy. Oh, the supposed magic of the rugged Anglo-Saxon spirit! Too bad so many others, who have the misfortune to have the wrong parents and the wrong citizenship and the wrong skin colour, live in shithole countries but aspire to sanity and happiness.

    (Sorry, if all this seems somewhat off, but I’m pissed just watching that, and can’t be more precise. And yes, I might be the other pissed later.)

  • doktorzoom

    Just occurred to me that these tossers actually did at least build their fake gallows with our commenting rules in mind. Look:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/86c193421e1ee9a3b5272b1d0d8874bd0a5bd6886f868d56e1a3ae3d22736866.jpg

    WITH VOTES!

    • Delu

      Not really, I mean that gallows is built with wood and rope.

      Not votes.

      • Hesavebread!

        The red thing on the end of the gallows is a poppy, to show their loyalty and love of the troops, init? The same poppy Sadiq Khan is wearing in the photoshop of him as a traitor. Am I missing something?

    • natoslug

      Yeah, no. They brought a noose to make an example of a brown person. Anyone even flirting gently with the idea of lynching can fuck right off forever. Into the sun, preferably. That shit is fucking repulsive and even “with votes” is an incredibly ugly attempt to normalize and celebrate the worst in humanity. Or maybe I’m just overreacting to a little lighthearted lynchin’ humour.

      • doktorzoom

        And that’s precisely why we have the rules.

  • Grumpy Twat

    It’s hard to know where to begin with these dumbfucks. So, half pissed, and in no particular order:

    The White Pendragons. Well what other fucking colour would they have been?

    These are English Defense League outliers. I bet you £100 they identify as “pure-bred Anglo-Saxons”. It has not occurred to them that the Pendragons were, if anything, Celts who according to legend fought AGAINST the invading Anglo-Saxon immigrants. Not one of them has read a single page of Le Morte d’Arthur, although they may have watched Camelot and The Sword in the Stone.

    Magna Carta? FFS, they made this shit up during a long afternoon session down the Saracen’s Head with a bit of Googling on a smart phone.

    The mobile gallows – I bet they felt like Men of Destiny when they busted out the circular saw and put that together with some fence posts from B&Q and bolted it onto a trailer while their girlfriends brought mugs of tea and said, “Too fucking right, babes. That’ll show ’em”.

    “Millions of English people support Donald Trump”. Well, you heard the audience mock them.

    “I have disrupted this meeting, don’t touch me, the law is on my side, I want my money back.” No. Fuck off.

    America, we have offered you a moment of respite – the opportunity to feel smug at our expense, or to experience fremdschamen on our behalf. Be quick, it won’t last forever.

    • Last Hussar

      My family cash be traced back 1000 years. The fuckers can Gert off my island

    • ((( Augustus )))

      I’m certain that we do not now, and I’m doubtful that we may ever again have a right to be smug about anything

    • Delu

      Actually this incident has been as much a “fremdschamen ” whatever that may be, for America too.

      A group of racists are calling upon the American flag (backwards) and the hallowed name of the America President in support of their cause, thus associating both man and nation as the “spiritual backers” of their cause.

      And right after Trump said he is not only not racist, but the LEAST most racist person ever!

      Fremdschamen indeed, whatever it means.

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        I wonder if that Peendragger knows that flying an American flag in that orientation is a distress signal? He’s right on that account…we’re distressed!

      • Grumpy Twat

        It means “Embarrassment felt on behalf of someone else (often someone so ignorant to what they have done that they don’t know that they should be embarrassed for themselves)” and I learned it right here on Wonkette, thanks to de_Pizan. (It should have an umlaut over the “a” but I can’t work out how to do it.)

        It is one of my new favourites, together with “the place where wolves fuck”, which seems to be a bigger area than you may previously have thought.

        • Hesavebread!

          Alt plus 0228. ä

          • Grumpy Twat

            Thänk you!

          • Hesavebread!

            You’re welcome. Ruddy autocorrect took out all the umlauten I put in, dammit.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    I half-expected the head Peendragger to cry “Help, help, I’m being oppressed”, but then I realized that he wouldn’t be bright enough to remember the reference.

  • Manhattan123

    It’s good to know we don’t hold a monopoly on right-wing dipshits, but one thing with the Brits and the Brexit referendum. A majority of them DID vote to leave Europe. Here, we have a minority of them getting President Dunning-Kruger elected.

    Imagine that. The winner of the most votes wins the election.

    It sounds intriguing.

    • Last Hussar

      52-48. However that 52 includes a lot of people who bought the line people are fed up with experts.

      • Last Hussar

        Also they are British, so in a “blind” policy test, still a good chance to the left of Bernie.

    • Delu

      Take note, quite a number of people who voted yes to Brexit…didn’t really know what they were voting for.

      They only searched the net about it AFTER they voted.

      • Manhattan123

        I’m sure that’s true, but the point was the majority got its vote honored.

        • Grumpy Twat

          But it was also supposed to be an advisory vote, where we expressed an opinion. Not a full-on “Let’s leave, now” vote.

          If you tried to organize a strike based on those numbers you would be in court, instantly, the vote would be thrown out and the union bankrupted. But in this case, “The nation has spoken with one resounding voice”.

          • Manhattan123

            No offense, but it was really a comment about our Electoral college system, and the loser of the popular vote winning the election. We’re not that interested in Brexit.

      • mailman27

        At which point they said ” ‘Ere now, wot’s all this then?”

  • Last Hussar

    They were right about the security guards not being able to touch them. If the guard had put a hand on them and said “come along feller,” that would have been assault. However if the guard genuinely believed their was a threat of harm to themselves, or another person, thy could have used reasonable force, but no more than is justifiable, to prevent harm.

    Everything else is a load of bollocks.

    • Hesavebread!

      Maybe in England, up here they could have thrown his arse into the street with no comeback.

  • BreakingDeadMen
    • Hesavebread!

      Gumby libelz!1!!1

    • emberglance

      HELLO!!!!!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “The Sword in the Stone”? Pffft! Now here is some authentic Olde Briton romance for you! (Seriously, doesn’t this cry out for some MST3K treatment?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0f937b69a7c42b39f19bc484d2fd902d84d252e63ca78a582813c18c9e7328b3.jpg

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    What an idiot. Everyone knows that if he had brought a gold-fringed Admiralty flag, Khan’s ass would be in the Tower now.

  • thixotropic jerk

    “I mean feck all who doesn’t lurve them some DJ Trümph?”
    Said no true Scotsman ever

    • Bad Tom

      Trump is not Scots. He is Craaap!

  • Delu

    Take note: These shits (sorry about the insult shits) held up an AMERICAN FLAG.

    AN AMERICAN FLAG! Backwards too, but the irony there is even greater!

    In SUPPORT of their racist, anti-Muslim Crusade, and they uttered the hallowed name of Donald Trump.

    Who, coincidentally, has claimed that he is not only “not a racist” but also the least most racist person EVER!

    If only we could throw these things and their makeshift back into the medieval era right into the court of King Arthur.

    I wonder how long it would take for Arthur to string them up on their own gallows.

    • danedg

      Buh..but… He can’t be racist!!?

      He was on TV!!!!

      • Hesavebread!

        The flag isn’t backwards from where he’s standing which makes you the racist. QED. Or perhaps DEQ.

  • Delu

    Roy Moore’s Horse sure is having a bad year. Just when it thought it could relax after the Alabama election shitshow died down, along comes “stable geniuses” like these.

    Jeeze, give a horse a break.

  • Sakonyachen

    I always bring a gallows with me whilst making a peaceful citizen’s arrest by the rules of the Coronation Oath Act of 1688. It’s what one does.

    • Hesavebread!

      Ok, I read the Coronation Oath Act 1688 and I have fuck all idea what it has to do with any of this. But yes, should I ever be in England and want to make a peaceful citizens arrest I’ll be sure to tow a gallows along behind my twenty year old Ford Escort. This is what Care in the Community gets you.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    All of these fucking “patriots” waving other countries’ flags and upfisting other countries’ leaders for some reason.

    Americans upfisting Putin

    Britons upfisting trump

    Weird!

    • kareemachan

      Fringes. Everyting fringes.

    • Regret

      It is weird! How the hell do you do nationalism wrong? It is the simplest and dumbest ideology around.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Bitch, you are bitching at people your fellow citizens have democratically elected. You don’t like it, stfu and gtfo

  • Squeegee

    England has done a better job than most European countries in integrating minorities….there are minority slums but there are even more all white slums.

    But England has gotten WAY too overcrowded to the point where it is significantly reducing the quality of life of everyone but the superrich….my English relatives can’t even afford to live in London and don’t even want to live there it is so crowded and expensive and impossible to get around now. That isn’t an attack on minorities because the problem is with immigration across the board.

    When I graduated from Cambridge University in the eighties England had 35 million people…now it officially has 54 million people but the real number is more like 60 million and may grow up to 100 million people…in a country the size of our New England which has just 12 million people!!!

    • DesertedPictures

      The problem is not overcrowding: it’s the lack of building in the country. For decades the UK has stopped building enough social housing units. And now immigrants are blamed for overcrowding.

      • Hesavebread!

        The figure for the 1980s is too low, and I’m curious where the “real” figure comes from. The South East of England is crowded and has high house prices but the rest of England (never mind the rest of the UK) isn’t and doesn’t. Immigration doesn’t increase house prices, it doesn’t cause crowding, given the UK’s ageing and increasingly uneducated population immigration is all that will keep us going.
        I’m curious how you can attack immigrants without attacking minorities, who by definition are going to be a minority.

        • Hesavebread!

          Shit, answered the wrong post, sorry DesertedPictures.

        • cogitoergodavesum

          The figure is fairly accurate for the 1880s though. Maybe that’s when he was at Cambridge…..

    • Teecha

      It’s not overcrowded. There’s plenty of open space. More than 90% of the UK is not urban.

      Capital cities are expensive and the fact that people are priced out of London is a problem of capitalism rather than immigration.

    • HazooToo

      Don’t live in London, then?

    • Nom de Guerre

      Not sure where you got your figures from, but in the 1981 census the population of England alone (not counting the rest of the UK) was 45,978,080. The English population passed 35 million in 1921.

    • Last Hussar

      London is full of empty houses owned by Saudis and russians

      • Squeegee

        That is empty luxury housing though like the empty luxury towers across Manhattan.
        The real issue is housing supply and infrastructure in England and London in particular have not kept up with population growth.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    ah Dok, an instant classic. Put this one in your “best of” file.

    : D

  • Jamie Stewart

    Ah, the EDL. They are literally the fringe of the fringe. If you think the hilariously small turnouts for your US neo nazi youth marches were embarrasing, you ought to see what these tar pit dodgers manage to drum up after half a year’s planning.

    • LesBontemps

      Wait, there’s planning?

      • Jamie Stewart

        Yeah, of a sort.

        Being a rational human being, I’ve not attended any of their meetings (held in pubs and other places that could be considered… aha… no go areas for certain people) but they do have certain rough beasts who grunt and low more loudly than the others. I assume they maintain order and fashion schemes in the same way a bandit chief does.

  • Andalusa

    Just so you know, he spells his first name Sadiq, not Siddiq…

  • Jacqueline

    Goo-g-le is paying $97 per h-o-ur,with weekly p-a-youts.Y-o-u can al-s-o avail this.O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 t-h-is last four weeks..wi-t-h-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever d-o-ne .. It sou-n-ds unbelievable but you wont forgive y-o-urself if you don’t check it!qx531i:➺➺➺ http://GoogleDailyConsumerLoveUpdateWorkFromHome/find/jobs ♥♥♥h♥♥k♥♥e♥♥w♥♥♥t♥♥g♥♥b♥a♥♥♥a♥♥♥q♥♥m♥d♥♥♥c♥♥♥p♥♥♥h♥♥♥b♥♥k♥♥k♥l♥♥y♥♥♥q♥♥♥o♥♥♥i♥r♥♥s:::::!ux331b:lhuhu

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    The best part of this was the crowd laughing at the Pendejo Dragons.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Ha! You wins the interwebs today.

  • Lily412

    My takeaway from this is that the mayor of London is really darn handsome.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    How does one say “deplorables” in Britain?
    Oh, “deplorables”? Thanks!

  • Calli Arcale

    So . . . exactly how are they demonstrating British patriotism by waving the flag of a set of breakaway colonies?

    That’s actually stupider than American “patriots” waving the Confederate battle flag. Which is saying something.

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