SHARE
bad at tweeting

Donald, we know we are not supposed to be asking questions about your very good brain, especially since everybody, even the Democrats, says there’s no dementia in it. But this is just sad:

First of all, let’s address the “substance” of the tweet, if we can even call it that: Donald, you’re a full of shit lying racist. Also, Donald, you killed DACA. So fuck off, asshole.

OK! All finished with the “substance”!

But really, dude? “Dicky” is all you could have come up with? In four days? Look, we like Dick Durbin a lot, but even we can insult him better than that. How about DICKLESS DURBIN? Or … TINY DICK DURBIN! Or … WHAT A DICK DURBIN! LOSERDICK DURBIN! DICKLICKER DURBIN! LITTLE RICHARD!

Goddammit, Trump, THE MAN’S FUCKING NAME IS DICK. This is low-hanging fruit, even for stable geniuses who know the best words. (ALL 50 OF ‘EM!)

Has Trump lost the mental capacity to come up with gems like Crooked Hillary or Lyin’ Ted or Liddle Bob Corker or Little Marco or Failing New York Times? Has his brain slipped further into the abyss since last week, when he called Dianne Feinstein “SNEAKY DIANNE”?

We are just wondering, because “Dicky” is some weak sauce, and we expect better from the president. Not much better, because he’s a fucking moron, but come on.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette is fully paid for by YOU! Please click here to pay Wonkette’s salary.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • dslindc

    He was probably tired from all that MLK Day service golf.

  • Nounverb911
  • vukojebina_MΩment

    “Dickjoke Durbin” > “Dicky Durbin”

  • Sashineb
    • ((( Augustus )))

      Nearly passed its Florida Board of Health Inspection this time!

      • Nounverb911

        It received a ‘gentlemen’s F’?

  • Nounverb911
    • TundraGrifter

      Is that Dinty Moore’s grandson?

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    I expect nothing less than total idiocy from Trump.

    • jodyleek

      “I’m the greatest at idiocy. Believe me! So great! All the best idiocy!”

  • Former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle would not find this funny.

    • TundraGrifter

      Or the major league baseball player Pete LaCock. His father was the television actor Peter Marshall – he changed his last name for professional reasons.

      • In the 70’s out in the Bay Area we had a DJ for KOME radio who went by “Dennis Erectus”. He claimed that he changed his name from Dennis Phallus “to avoid embarrassment”.

        • Cock Blockula

          I don’t remember that at all and the 70s was when when I used to listen to KOME (“Let Us Kome in Your Ear”).

          And then the Alzeimer’s began…

        • MizzMazz

          Ah, those were the days, “Don’t touch that dial, there’s KOME on it!”

      • President in Exile Firefly

        If memory serves, he was on the 6th place Cubs.

        • TundraGrifter

          Remember when “The Ex-Cub Factor” was a thing?

    • Oblios_Cap

      If he was in the White House, would he be the leaker?

  • ArgieBargie

    “Dicky Tricky Durr Durr!!! SAD!”

  • Indiepalin

    Maybe it’s just me but wouldn’t spelling it “Dickie” be even funnier than Dicky?

    • Oblios_Cap

      isn’t that an item of clothing?

      • shastakoala

        Work clothing. But that would have nothing to do with Donnie.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Noun[edit]
          dickie (plural dickies)
          A false shirt-front sometimes worn with a tuxedo.

    • shastakoala

      Dinky?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Good to see I wasn’t the only one realizing that coming up with a stupid nickname for someone named Dick is really a waste of time.

  • Marion in Savannah

    [sigh] A bit more squee, because anything about Trump needs an infusion of squee:

    https://twitter.com/EmrgencyKittens/status/952944793516044288

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Smart cat…

  • Nounverb911
    • Marion in Savannah

      That’s SS? She looks almost human.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Man the harpoons!

      • Nounverb911

        Her make-up artist is getting his/her monies worth…
        https://twitter.com/Brasilmagic/status/952610415200165888

        • susan_g

          Her makeup artist,Katy Price, worked as a hair and makeup stylist for Russia Today.

          You can’t make this stuff up.

          • jodyleek

            I thought her makeup artist was Pennywise.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            She has a great future as a mortician’s assistant.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Whoever is doing it isn’t doing a very good job. Granted, they don’t have much to work with.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Looks like the bouncer down at the pub, if that’s what you mean.

    • FlemmishSpy

      She’s limbering up for this afternoon’s contortions and turd polishing.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It looks like she had a rough time in the birth canal and her head got all squeezed up.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The Trey “when forceps deliveries go wrong” Gowdy look?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Her face and eyes seem particularly askew today.

      • CripesAmighty

        She’s going full Picasso.

    • phoenix00

      He’s “passionate” yet “didn’t use strong language”

      I don’t think so…..

    • Rags

      Look. It doesn’t fucking matter if he called the entire continent of Africa a ‘shithole,’ a ‘shithouse’ or even ‘that poorly landscaped location.’ The fucking point is he dismissed an ENTIRE FUCKING CONTINENT as worthless. And he did it because he is a racist; there can be no other explanation for such a blanket insult.

  • Johnatx

    Duplicitous Dick? Too many syllables for the Asshole-in-Chief?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Any word with more than 2 is a major challenge.

      • Johnatx

        True

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Yup. But it does roll off the tongue, doesn’t it?

  • Gosala

    It is well established that a poor diet can lead to dementia like symptoms.

    POTUSINO’s diet is extremely poor.

    Ergo…

  • MynameisBlarney

    Seriously, turmp, go fuck yourself, you goddamned russian cocksucker.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Trump’s supporters should love that (non) comment, because they admire people who tell it like it is.

  • Oblios_Cap

    It’s a good thing that he has such tiny fingers. That’s a mighty small Twattering phone.

  • wait! what?

    Technically, balls are low hanging fruit…

    • ((( Augustus )))

      aren’t they more seed pods?

      • wait! what?

        I was thinking they were more like hatcheries.

    • phoenix00

      Are nuts fruits? Discuss.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I would have tried to work in turbin/Durbin and exploit Dicksnot’s obvious Muslim Brotherhood connection.

  • MynameisBlarney

    As for the DACA deal fizzling out and turmp of course blames the Dems…

    “Windsock Prez listens to whoever gets to him last”

    https://crooksandliars.com/2018/01/morning-joe-how-immigration-deal-was

  • Nounverb911
    • Paperless Tiger

      They were all in on it but me.

    • Nounverb911
      • Teecha

        He looks like he’s actually been dug up and propped in that chair.

        • jodyleek

          Who says he wasn’t?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Very presidential!

      • phoenix00

        I don’t think that lump over his ribcage is supposed to be there

        • Noxious Resistance

          I agree. That’s his head.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            Ba dum tish!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I see the purple colostomy bag, but where’s Bannon?

      • Meccalopolis

        his alien conductor

      • OrdinaryJoe

        That guy is only 64 years old. He hates “entitlements” like Sociall Security because he knows he won’t live to collect any.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Steve Bannon and I are the same age. I feel so much better now.

    • Most Stable Land Shark

      He looks almost presentable. His liver isn’t showing, and his black heart isn’t leaping out of his chest.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Only one shirt on, too.

    • ScottGoode

      It looks like one of those evolution diagrams. The guy on the left is somewhat stooped over, Bannon is almost standing upright and the one on the right is standing correctly.

    • Noxious Resistance

      He’s smiling for a reason.
      Revenge.

      • Hiss

        He even got cleaned up for the occasion!

    • Tovarish Z

      Wow…he looks…sober! How strange.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Dude.

    “Dirty Dick”

    Use it and I’ll sue, motherfucker.

  • susan_g

    He wouldn’t use “Dickless Durbin” because that would be a little too close to home for cheeto.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Does anyone want to actually confirm?

      Not his semi-wife, I’m sure.

  • Teecha

    How is dicky an insult? I’m not getting it.
    I mean, you could say you have a dicky tummy, or a dicky ticker, but it’s not an insult.
    And the guys name is dick? So it’s like calling the prez Donnie? That’s just a pet name.
    He’s such a fuckwit.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    Durbin is so limp that he shriveled up in my presence! He was just embarrassed about being unable to stay firm and that’s why he’s ejaculating these white lies about me all over the place, and so prematurely, too!

    Jesus, shitface, it’s not hard. Just like your flaccid little peen.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I don’t get the “hurting our military“ angle. Are the Dreamers massing at the border poised for attack?

    • dslindc

      That’s why we need a bigly beautiful wall! It will be tremendous. The best wall you’ve ever seen, believe me.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      They even have their own medical corps filled with EMTs, nurses, and doctors!

    • Oblios_Cap

      By not passing the funding bill throwing cash at the military for them to waste profligately.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    The spirochetes holding his brain together are starting to unscrew. It will get worse.

    • Most Stable Land Shark
      • Paperless Tiger

        As seen on the Gorilla Channel!

        • ScottGoode

          Yeah I have always thought that we shouldn’t give gorillas glue. They go and rip people’s arms off and then glue them back on like “no foul”. They need to know there are consequences to their actions, not simple solutions like glue.

      • phoenix00

        Gorilla tape works well too!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I didn’t put much credence in that speculation 12 months ago, but now…..

  • MynameisBlarney

    OK…
    This shit is too weird not to be hacks.

    https://talkingpointsmemo.com/world-news/japan-mistaken-north-korean-missile-alert

    This is like they’re testing our defenses before they strike.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That, or the system was hastily constructed and poorly tested before deployment.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Or both.

    • h4rr4r

      No, just typical incompetence.
      This is what happens when you outsource a project, to someone who does not care and won’t be around to support it while not defining the goals properly.

      • MynameisBlarney

        You don’t find it odd that this happened twice in one week?
        What are the odds?

        • Andy Acted

          Yeah, saw that. It’s like desensitize training the mind to ignore [oh, another mistake]. People only get outraged so many times before they give up, ignore or confusedly deny a situation.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Or they’re trying to trigger the idiot in the WH to hit the button.

  • Nounverb911

    Executive time seems to be getting longer every day….

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/953270558573154305
    Tell me again about her e-mails don.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    There was a beer out of St. Louis in the 40s and 50s named Griesedieck. The local wags called it “Slippery Richard”.

  • Bub the very stable zombie

    Donnie is always trying to be a wit, but only half succeeding.

    • ScottGoode

      and that’s being generous .

      • FlemmishSpy

        Let’s not pick nits.

    • MynameisBlarney

      What you have done there.
      I have seen it.

    • CripesAmighty

      Nicely done, sir.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      He also claims vast talent, but it’s only half-vast.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Mentally Stable Ron

      At least 428 kinds of awesome.

  • WilbyToad

    Because idiotic reasoning is the way:
    ‘Why did NBC give him a show?’: Sarah Sanders says starring on ‘The Apprentice’ proves Trump isn’t racist
    by DAVID EDWARDS / RAWSTORY
    http://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/why-did-nbc-give-him-a-show-sarah-sanders-says-starring-on-the-apprentice-proves-trump-isnt-racist/

    • bbayliss

      It was supposed to be a comedy

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        It was. I laughed and laughed when I heard about it.

        • bbayliss

          I would have but it was so far outside my world that I never even heard of it.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘Why did NBC give him a show?’ Because every successful businessman they asked turned it down.

    • CripesAmighty

      Because dumb game shows cost next to nothing to produce.

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      That logic is ironclad…

    • Shan

      Because TV shows can be edited before they’re broadcast.

      • Me not sure

        Now that you’ve let out the secret, we’ll have to shoot you. …We can always reshoot if we don’t get it right on the first take.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        GMTA.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Matt Lauer endorses this logic…

  • The Wanderer

    Has he reached Peak Neener Neener Boo Boo yet?

    • CripesAmighty

      Honey Boo Boo, maybe.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Courser_Resistance

      I know that feeling well.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Dickless”, “Limp Dick”, “Small Dick”, etc. are all in the filter John Kelly had installed after the “Shithole” unpleasantness. Donnie has to keep it clean now…

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    Limp Dick?

    I can also too think of much better names for his other nicknames (not all of these are mine):
    Hillbilly
    Hellary
    CrusTed
    Ted Cruz
    Corky the Bob
    Bobbing Cork
    Mar-A-Rubio
    Sir Marcolot
    The Haber NYT
    Both Sides Duet Times
    Dryanne Fine Stein
    Dying Fineless

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Opalescent Riddles

      1) Buy a robot that builds robots.
      2) Use the robot to build robots that build robots.
      3) Profit!

      Also works with “rabbit” instead of “robot.”

      Now you’re thinking about rabbit sex.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    He could have called him Dick “cheese” Durbin, for FFS.

    Trump needs to hire Wonkette to come up with his Dick jokes.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Editor Evany Hurst would say something like that.

  • Bub the very stable zombie
  • TootsStansbury

    Does he keep yapping about the Dems “hurting the military” to make the militaryloyal to him as opposed to the country? Is he afraid of a coup? It’s a little disturbing.

    • Beaufighter

      It’s laughable that he thinks servicemembers are so fucking stupid that they can’t see through his carnival barker schtick.

      • Jennaratrix

        Um. I hate to break this to you, but he’s right. The US military votes overwhelmingly Republican, even when the Republican on offer is this guy. I heard personally from several people (co-workers mostly) who weren’t happy about him but said some variation of “I have to vote Republican, I can’t help it, they’re better for the military.” They’re drinking the Kool-Aid.

    • BigCSouthside

      Know who doesn’t really get hit by a shutdown? The military

    • jodyleek

      We whizzed past “a little disturbing” months ago.

      • Roadstergal

        “Gut-wrenchingly fuxxored” is a fond and distant memory.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      He DGAF about the military, but he does lurve him some military contractors.

    • Me not sure

      They used that against Carter. Military spending went up every year during Carter’s term in a well thought out program to rebuild the armed forces after Viet Nam. Reagan called it weak and spent wildly on boondoggle programs like building both the B-1 and B-2 bombers, DIVAD, rebuilding four WWII battleships (that the Navy didn’t want), building a new mobile ICBM and then making it stationary by putting it in the ground, and of course the big “Star Wars” bluff.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    I have trust in his royal anus that he will forever be a moron.

  • Ray in VT

    Such eloquence and biting wit from a stable genius who has all of the best words.

  • TJ Barke

    Go eat some fucking starburst, Donnie.

  • Me not sure

    Dick Turban. … See? It’s not even difficult for me and I like the guy. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/edaed874af22200f2edf29b16f77b88b788ec4aa18e636f3b799aa10a09bd461.jpg

    • Jgb979

      I will never tire of that sensation of audible groaning, fear, and mild nausea whenever I see conservatives attempt humor

      • Me not sure

        One note samba.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          And the note is always a half-tone flat.

          • Me not sure

            …and set to white guy rhythm.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      TLM writes all the conservative jokes.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
  • Jgb979

    You would think, coming from a man obsessed with the size of his …caucus, he’d find some way to make a play on words with the name “Dick”

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    “DICKY DURBIN” AIN’T A JUNGIAN ARCHETYPE.

  • Rags

    Only 31 hours to the Fake Media Awards Show!!! Stock up on popcorn and rotten tomatoes!

  • azeyote

    maybe he fees a tiny insecure about his – excuse me – any dick, jokes

  • Scooby

    Let’s face it he peaked with Lil’ Marco.

    • Roadstergal

      That’s a very minor peak.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Tee Hee…..low hanging fruit.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Another tweet from Donald, eh?

    #ProtectTheTruth

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    am I the only one who thinks the verb “blow” as a metaphor for “setback” has been destroyed by the use of “shoved/rammed/forced down our throats” in debates? and why weren’t we having a conversation about basic decency when that started up instead of now? it’s not like all these people are just fans of Landscape in Concrete.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Trump tried to bully Durbin. Even Trump’s surrogates admit he used strong language. Trump wanted a fight, but Durbin hit back by just telling the plain truth about what Trump said. Truth is like kryptonite to Super Liar.

  • cmd resistor

    So I just suddenly had this vague memory of a kid book/story where there was a character named Dicky Bird? Or maybe not.

    • Cincinnatus

      I learned this Mother Goose verse of “Sing a Song of Sixpence” with “dicky bird” instead of “blackbird.”

      “The maid was in the garden
      Hanging out the clothes.
      Along came a blackbird
      And snipped off her nose.”

      • cmd resistor

        I seem to remember drawings of a bird in a birdbath but can’t place it. I had to go to the Google and there’s an old nursery rhyme about Two Little Dickie Birds. But this book seems more relevant to Trump:
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4336613bb08b15bc1bb0081ec91f99e4de546993c329eee45ea507f2c591c573.jpg

        • Old town Urbandale

          I seem to remember a (high society?) woman making some reference to her dickie bird in a Warner Brothers cartoon. Probably Tweety. He was always a dick to Sylvester.

          • theCryptofishist

            What does it say about me that I so often identified with the thwarted predator, rather than the clever prey? Nothing good, I’m sure.

    • Grumpy Twat

      May I introduce you to International cricket umpire. Dickie Bird
      http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/16/article-0-131A433B000005DC-100_233x423.jpg

    • Roadstergal

      G&S, The Mikado.

      “On a tree by the river a little Tom-tit
      Sang “Willow, tit Willow, tit Willow.
      And I said to him, Dickie-bird, why do you sit
      Singing “Willow, tit Willow, tit Willow”?
      “Is it weakness of intellect, birdie,” I cried?”

      I can go on, because I have most of G&S memorized…

      • blaid droog

        I was in a 10th grade production of Pinafore. I am the monarch of the sea is forever burned in my brain.

  • CeeQ

    I mean fucking hell Donald. This is the ONE THING you actually are “good” at – being an insufferable dickhead! And you’ve even managed to fail at this too. Sad.

    (So basically he is literally – LITERALLY- terrible at everything.)

  • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

    Fuckface von Clownstick must not be getting enough Executive Time to work on his nicknaming sklliz.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Dick Durbin eats people like Drumpf for midnight snacks. You do NOT fuck with a 4-term (5 term? came in in 96 I think) Senator who is second in the leadership.

  • Tony Prost

    He should have just gone with Little Dick Durbin. But double entendre is beyond him. He entends nothing!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      “Little” and penis references? It’s dangerous for the Dotard to go there.

      • Synykyl

        Yeah, but Trump is even less self aware than he is witty.

        • blaid droog

          You give him too much credit. At best, he’s less than a half wit and not at all self aware.

  • Baron Von Speedster

    Dirty Dick Durbin is a somewhat obvious choice, except that actually sounds kind of bad-ass when you say it out loud, so I can see why Trump wouldn’t do it (I imagine he mumbles to himself while he’s tweeting). Dirty Dick Durbin is a guy who knows how to hide a dead body. I would pay Dirty Dick Durbin every dollar that I owed him, on time, and without giving him any attitude.

  • Sophia

    Thanks so much Evan. I am having a shit day at work and then I found this. BWAHAHAHA! I needed that laugh even though people at work are looking at me strange now. I’d call them my coworkers but it seems THEY DON’T FUCKING WORK.

    • Moar Wordz

      Snicker
      Jobbers and clockwatchers ?

      • Sophia

        Fuck they don’t even bother to watch the clock. Mutt & Jeff have a contest everyday on who can get out the door first. I’m expecting them to start 4 hours late & leave 3 hours and 55 minutes early soon. What a god damn place it has become. Didn’t use to be like that. I’m trying to decide if I can hold on until retirement or if I’m going to loose it and pull a Corey Booker soon.

        • Moar Wordz

          Ha.
          What would happen if you pulled a ” Corey Booker ? ”
          Who is Corey Booker and what did he/she do BTW ?

          • Sophia

            Read on. Senator Cory Booker raised hell today

            Cory Booker Just Called Kirstjen Nielsen A Complicit Asshole, And We Are HERE FOR IT

            https://wonkette.com/628356/cory-booker-just-called-kirstjen-nielsen-a-complicit-asshole-and-we-are-here-for-it

          • Moar Wordz

            Color me stupid and slightly buzzed.
            I never remember Senator’s names outside my state, tho’ I keep believing my brain isn’t Swiss cheese from years of psychiatric meds and repeat trauma.
            The ones in news often, yes, I remember.
            Schumer. Whathisface.
            Oh, yeah, that guy.
            Senate majority Whip -I KNOW this, I knew it, for five seconds, oh, it’s gone.
            :-(
            :-(
            )-:

          • Sophia

            I get those moments too. There was a picture on one of the articles and I’ll be damned if I could remember who Kevin McCarthy was (he of the red & pink Starbursts). His face was familiar but I just couldn’t place him and had to ask.

          • Moar Wordz

            Ha. I find that physical/mental activity really helps my synapses fire. I’ve cut down on the psych meds much to my therapist’s horror.
            ” Heavens !!!! She don’t want no more happy pills : CRISIS. Worry. How ever will she cope ?!?! ”
            The same way people have for millennia before their confounded invention.
            I spilled some of my remaining pillz behind my dresser and haven’t bothered to pick them up.
            I figure there’s a reason I keep dropping them everywhere on earth, and I’ll just go with what McFate’s throwing down.
            Reason for everything.
            Am not stupid, weaned myself off them very slowly and cautiously, on a schedule that a Doc had given me.
            Less time I spend at freakin’ pharmacy and MD’s office : more time for me. Fuck it. Was really, really sick of the whole soulless routine. And frankly became EXTREMELY skeptical of every word out of their mouths.

          • Moar Wordz

            What was the story of red and pink starburst ?!?!?
            There was a reference of it in one of today’s Wonkette articles.
            Oooh, a candy scandal.
            Am about to redact my comment below, for privacy reasons, but figured I’d give you a chance to read.
            My buzzed TMI ramblings….Bwahaha

        • blaid droog

          I’ve worked as a garbage man(made it through one whole week), managed car rentals, restaurants, a hotel, car dealership, boat dealership, small aircraft mechanic shop, auto mechanic shop. So many different jobs I don’t remember most of them. Never once worked in an office setting where there were scores or even hundreds of employees. I can’t think of anything worse. Last year after 15 years my partner lost his job as VP of human resources at a company with over 2500 employees. One thousand of them in the same building. I would have killed myself if I had his job. If I had to deal with more than 25 or so people I could easily have become a mass murderer.

  • La Cieca

    I haven’t even had coffee yet, but “Needledick Durbin.”

  • andyshelt
    • kareemachan

      DIKDIK LIBELZ!!!!!!!!!!

    • laineypc

      I can’t see one of these without thinking about my beloved grandma, RIP. She visited us in Kenya and she couldn’t get enough of these little guys. Always talking about the dik diks. She was just fond of itty bitty animals. Had about 20 or so chihuahuas throughout her life, I think. OK, maybe 5. But still.

      • Cat Cafe

        They are SO cute

  • Deanna Durbin?

  • NotALiar

    Trump says Durbin destroyed DACA. Roughly 40% of the country believes this now. It still blows my mind that so many millions of people are willing to believe something so false while it’s so easy to fact check it in real time. We are so completely fucked.

    • blaid droog

      We’ve been completely fucked since ray-gun made a secret deal with Iran and fucked Carter in the ass.

  • Enter Ranting

    Pocahontas Durbin?

    • Andy Lemieux

      That’s too close to Pocahooker. Might resurrect talk of his dalliance with Stormy.

      • MissNomer

        Pocahole!

        …no wait. ..
        Did I say that out loud?

        • Andy Lemieux

          You just had to take it too far, didn’t you? That’s why we can’t have nice things.

  • theCryptofishist

    Well, I guess that he’s not reading Wonkette.

  • Iam Reading

    Republicans hold the majority in all of government. They control all of it. So of course if they can’t get anything done it’s obviously the Democrats fault.

  • Mavenmaven

    According to Russian prostitutes, Trump’s a bit challenged down there so maybe it is a touchy point for him.

  • Poly_Ester

    You sure donnie’s middle name isn’t WTF?

  • Daniel

    Thick Durbin!
    Dick Derpin commits highway robbery somehow!
    Dick Nu-uhbin!

  • Moar Wordz

    Trump killed Daca, despite realizing how pro-Daca many Americans are, and felt the outrage, in whatever capacity he’s able.
    But low-hanging fruit, Evan ?
    I’m just gonna say one word here, Evan : ” Mudflaps ? ”
    Why must I be forced to mentally see that image when perusing your articles ?

  • Delu

    There’s no floor to stupidity, I mean that’s a given from the start.

  • roberteye

    He didn’t even go for Dickhole, since hole is probably fresh on his mind.

  • 1PeterG1

    I’ll have you know that among the treasures in Trump’s vaults, his collection of Velvet Elvises, his wardrobe of finely woven asbestos pants, is one of the finest collections of the best words on the planet. And every one is in mint uncirculated condition.

  • Sharon Cooper

    He’s so damn pathetic. I’d feel sorry for him if it wasn’t, y’know, HIM.

  • PixieThis

    I’m late, but thank god every day for Wonkette and dick jokes. Amen.

  • Erala Contratista

    Waddle Donny says whuuh?

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    Two-syllable nicknames seem to be the max for Cheeto Hitler.

  • HooverVilles

    Has Trump lost the mental capacity…

    Trump can’t lose what he does not have in the first place.

Previous articleTrump Digs His Shithole Deeper. Wonkagenda For Tues., Jan. 16, 2018
Next articleGlenn Greenwald’s Got Us Now! Democrats Conspiring Against Chelsea Manning For Running Against Democrat!