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How is Donald Trump honoring Martin Luther King Day 2018? By doing exactly what he did Saturday and Sunday: Going golfing. In his Friday proclamation for MLK Day, Trump signed the thing put in front of him, which called on Americans to honor King “with acts of civic work and community service.” And since Donald Trump will be nowhere near a microphone while he’s golfing, we guess that may count as a public benefit, so good for him.

Even the anodyne video Trump read for Twitter gives little hint of what Martin Luther King was all about — he had a dream, and he was for equality, and he wanted people to be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character, a sentiment we appreciate, since we can say with no doubt that Donald Trump’s character is racist and rapey, so we’re happy to evaluate him on those grounds. We all share MLK’s dream, at least in the vaguest sense, as long as Republicans can find enough wiggle room to insist that King dreamed of a world with no affirmative action, no nasty divisive rhetoric about black lives mattering, with strict limits on who can vote, and above all, the freedom to yell at black single moms for raising their gigantic sons to be thugs.

While Trump toiled away at making sure all God’s children have to duck whenever he hits a drive, King’s nephew Isaac Newton Farris Jr. was at the White House undercutting Trump by talking like that other guy who used to live there:

“It’s not a day to hang out in the park or pull out the barbecue grill,” he said. “It’s a day to do something to help someone else, and that can be as simple as delivering someone’s trash or picking up the newspaper for that elderly person who can’t get to the end of the driveway.”

Or by nailing a 12-foot putt on a really tricky lie. We all serve, in our way.

Trump also served the memory of Martin Luther King by reassuring reporters Sunday,

“Nah, I’m not a racist,” he said. “I’m the least racist person you have ever interviewed, that I can tell you.”

Probably even less racist than Martin Luther King, in fact, since King was always talking about black people all the time, where Trump thinks people on both sides of racist violence can be excellent. Who’s more open minded NOW, fake news media?

In addition, Donald Trump enlisted the help of two Republican senators who’d been at his Thursday meeting where he talked about Haiti, El Salvador, and African nations as being “shithole countries” to deny he’d used that word at all. Tom Cotton and David Perdue both insisted on Sunday shows that Trump hadn’t said the word, and that Dick Durbin was just a big old untrustworthy liar, because he’s a Democrat and all Democrats lie — it’s just part of their character, and did Martin Luther King ever dream of not judging people on their party affiliation HE DID NOT. Lindsey Graham was also there and confirmed Trump had said it, but let’s not get all tangled up in details, shall we?

In any case, today we honor Martin Luther KIng Jr., who’s doing a great job and getting more and more recognition for it, as long as you don’t get too specific about his opinions on white supremacy, economics, poverty, war, what the meaning of “equality” is, or really, much of anything, Amen.

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[WaPo / Politico]

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  • Nounverb911
  • JaveyDay

    “Through our scientific and technological genius, we have made of this
    world a neighborhood and yet we have not had the ethical commitment to
    make of it a brotherhood. But somehow, and in some way, we have got to
    do this. We must all learn to live together as brothers or we will all
    perish together as fools. We are tied together in the single garment of
    destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality. And whatever
    affects one directly affects all indirectly. For some strange reason I
    can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. And
    you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be.
    This is the way God’s universe is made; this is the way it is
    structured.”

    Martin Luther King, Jr.
    Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution
    June 2, 1959

    • SayItWithWookies

      I wish only the best for humanity — but as a betting man, my money’s on “perish as fools.”

  • memzilla Ω

    Sarah Hucklebee Slanders later affirmed that Martin Luther King Jr. actually said “I have ice cream today,” maintaining that Dolt 45 was superior because he had two scoops.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    “It’s a day to do something to help someone else, and that can be as simple as delivering someone’s trash or picking up the newspaper for that elderly person who can’t get to the end of the driveway.”

    or caddy for them for eighteen (shit)holes, amirite Donnie?

  • Nounverb911
  • Duke

    “Suck on that, suckers.”

  • BadKitty904

    Turmp demands that we, his minions, thank him for freeing the slaves in 5…4…3…

    • willi0000000

      he’d never claim that! . . . his base would desert him.

  • Nounverb911

    Really Mel, you should talk to donnie about this….
    https://twitter.com/FLOTUS/status/952927460118745088

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Did not write that, will never read that, will never, ever live it.

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        I’m debating whether she wrote it or not, because she said “be First Lady” instead of “be the First Lady” and I believe like in Russian, speakers of other slavic languages omit direct articles because they don’t oh who am I kidding no way she wrote that.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Probably copied and pasted from Michelle Obama’s tweets.

      • Dom Saunders

        No, Michelle ‘s would actually mean it. Plus, it wouldn’t read as nearly so basic as it does from Melania.

    • BadKitty904

      What country would that be, Mel?

    • spangled

      why are her communications people so much better than trump’s? if trump’s people just sent out banal tweets and statements like this one, he would probably have a 55% approval rating because people are dumb af.

      • Maybe, but then again, they’d also have to keep Donald from tweeting out or saying stupid racist shit, and I’m not sure anyone on the planet is capable of that

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Because her team just plagiarizes Michelle’s old tweets?

    • Hemp Dogbane

      She added in a later tweet “My First Husband is the least racist person he knows, also too.”

  • Ling Ling

    They also serve… those who putt and drive.

  • natoslug

    If anyone needs trash delivered, I’m your guy. The garbage truck didn’t show up last week.

  • BadKitty904
  • Earl Of Sammich

    Even if you really, really like to play golf; how is it possible to play THAT much golf and not get sick of it? This obsessiveness is yet one more clue into the bat-shit mentality of Mr. Presidunce.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Attention span < 0.

    • BadKitty904

      But otherwise, he’d have to do the job we’re paying him to do.

    • Nounverb911

      I work at a golf course during the summer and I can’t even imagine playing
      more than twice a week….

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      He needs a break from stuffing his face with cheeseburgers and watching Three Morons on a Couch – I mean, Executive Time.

  • Ryan Denniston
  • Fartknocker

    If I had the time, money and inclination, me and my friends would have an awesome time shitting in those little holes that capture the small balls at his precious golf resorts. Nope, getting ready to go to work since we got a pretty nasty storm with freezing rain starting around midnight. Helping my community is way more fun than listening to or watching the 45th Fat Fack of the US.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I have a dream today…that Trump finishes his round with one massive stroke.

    • JaveyDay

      Niiiiiiiice

    • maxneanderthal

      Statistically, death by lightning strike is especially high amongst golfers- we live in hope…

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Cheney went golfing with some friends and shot a hole in one

      • Wackyland Radio Resistor

        Gahahahahaha!!!!!

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Not mine, but never gets old

      • Jamoche
      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Similar;

        Hickory Dickory Dock
        Three mice ran up the clock
        The clock struck one
        The other two escaped with minor injuries

    • ArgieBargie

      Impossible. He is the healthiest individual to ever be elected, according to his proctologist

  • ArgieBargie

    “Nah, I’m not a racist.”

    — Pretty much every racist person you come across.

  • memzilla Ω

    Hey remember, the back 9 at Mar-A-Lago was Drumpf’s personal Vietnam! It’s all jungley!

    • Nounverb911

      Must be a lot of STDs on that back nine….

  • JaveyDay

    ” As I have walked among the desperate, rejected, and angry young men, I
    have told them that Molotov cocktails and rifles would not solve their
    problems. I have tried to offer them my deepest compassion while
    maintaining my conviction that social change comes most meaningfully
    through nonviolent action. But they asked, and rightly so, “What about
    Vietnam?” They asked if our own nation wasn’t using massive doses of
    violence to solve its problems, to bring about the changes it wanted. Their questions hit home, and I knew that I could never again raise my
    voice against the violence of the oppressed in the ghettos without
    having first spoken clearly to the greatest purveyor of violence in the
    world today: my own government.
    For the sake of those boys, for the sake
    of this government, for the sake of the hundreds of thousands trembling
    under our violence, I cannot be silent.”

    Martin Luther King
    Beyond Vietnam
    April 4, 1967

  • Ryan Denniston

    Yes, I’m glad to see Trump enacting MLK’s core message, I got mine, fuck you!

  • major_asshole

    I feel disturbed today. I mean, I feel disturbed every day that Trump sits in the White House with authority, but today just makes me feel worse.

    Maybe it’s because this is the first public holiday in his presidency that honors someone genuinely good and altruistic, someone who is the antithesis of Trump and his minions/stooges. It makes me feel all punchy and angry to think that an orange Shitgibbon-in-Chief is running his mouth about equality and fairness and honoring MLK’s legacy while at the same time doing everything he can to destroy that legacy and everything that came from it.

    I’m not going to eat a special meal. Won’t go looking for fireworks. Not going to any special event. Today, I’m going to sit right here and try to find a way for this not to suck so much. Tomorrow, it’s back to being a good citizen and a decent person.

  • BadKitty904
  • OrG

    I realize this is totally obvious, but anybody that goes around saying how not racist they are is a fucking racist, I can tell you.

  • amrak63
  • Ryan Denniston

    ““Nah, I’m not a racist,” he said. “I’m the least racist person you have ever interviewed, that I can tell you.””

    Everything else is Orwellian with this administration, it would not surprise me if his definition of racism is the exact opposite of the definition we all share.

    • BadKitty904

      Anyone who has to assure you that they’re not racist, is.

  • gnomemansanisland

    Fuck this guy.

  • mrFawkes

    I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Leavenworth, sons of former presidents and sons of former political owners will be able to sit down together at the prison cafeteria of brotherhood and join their fathers in a good long cry.

    • willi0000000

      i like your dream!

  • jaspersdad

    If MLK were alive today Republican politicians would denounce him.

    • msanthropesmr

      They dox him, they’d swat him, they’d send him messages designed to make him seize.

      They’d run him over in their cars. They’d carry tiki-torches onto his front lawn.

      In other words, we ain’t progressed much.

      • maxneanderthal

        Progressed “much”: read; “at all”
        FTFY..

    • MynameisBlarney

      Of course, because he’s a blah person.

  • ArgieBargie

    I hope somebody steals his golf cart and he is forced to walk.

    • Nounverb911

      It’s bad enough he has to walk from the cart to the tee box to hit….

    • maxneanderthal

      Which would kill the fat fuck quicker than a giraffe kick to the head..

      • vukojebina_MΩment

        Tom Cotton would never do that to him.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        A giraffe on the fairway? So you’re saying he’s actually playing miniature golf?

        • maxneanderthal

          Ooh, ooh, the image of Trumpty-Dumpty making his way through a predator rich environment, e.g. Serengeti, North Pole ice pack, Kodiak Island in late autumn, is just too attractive.. (on foot, natch)

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Maybe somebody told him that Obama refused to golf on courses that were infested with giraffes.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            You’d think he’d be used to them after all those rounds he played growing up in Kenya

      • ArgieBargie

        I would NEVER imply such thing!

    • Shibusa
  • vukojebina_MΩment

    ‘I have fought the good fight, I have finished the COURSE.’ — 2 Timothy 4:7

    That is NOT from the book of II Bogeys?

  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904
    • Nockular cavity

      Notice the tinfoil Klansman on the left. Safe from HAARP and chemtrails!

      • BadKitty904

        I think that’s satin (?!), but you could well be correct.

  • Earl Of Sammich

    C’mon Mr. tRump. Get off the links and into the office. Those F-52’s aren’t gonna sell themselves.

    • AJ Milne

      If there isn’t by now a B-52s cover band called the F-52s, there should be.

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      There hasn’t been a single F-52 crash during his whole presidency.

  • Anna Rompage

    What better way to spend the day, than to play a game at an establishment that banned black members until late the 1990s….

  • Tetman Callis

    Given President Caca de Boca’s skills and limitations, the more he golfs, the better off the rest of us (i.e, the world).

  • Nounverb911

    The Secret Service should get some of these to chase trump around the course.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9VuKK5sbQo

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I can hear the poor things grinding out their last if D45 tried to ride one.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That is literally the WHITEST fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

    • Shibusa

      Okay — that looks fun to me, without the golf clubs, of course.

    • Katamount

      Guys… just… just use your damned legs like normal people.

  • Anna Rompage
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And since Donald Trump will be nowhere near a microphone while he’s golfing, we guess that may count as a public benefit, so good for him.

    I’m only giving him credit if he stays off Twitter FFS.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Have never played golf (other than miniature golf as a child), so can someone confirm (or disprove) that it is the least exerting thing a human can do and still claim to be playing a sport?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Poker…

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Molly’s Game libelz (seriously, it’s a great film).

    • Ryan Denniston

      Exhibit A: Trump’s annual check up, which we get to hear lies about tomorrow!

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Bowling’s right up there, also too.

      And ESPN airs the National Spelling Bee, so….spelling must be a sport, right?

      • natoslug

        Hey now! The boy-child has several (small) scholarships, thanks to bowling. Although, he did end up giving it up, not being able to adopt the bowling lifestyle of chain-smoking and binge drinking between frames.

    • Robert Gibson

      Also, darts

    • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

      NASCAR

      • MynameisBlarney

        Driving any race car is a workout.
        Watching NASCAR however….not so much.

        • h4rr4r

          Yeah, a workout for one arm anyway. Look another left turn!

          • wide_stance_hubby

            I think there is at least one other activity that can do that much more enjoyably.

          • ScottGoode

            Well they pull some Gs going around those banked ovals. Not to mention having to sit in an oven for a couple of hours.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Not to mention those cars are hard to drive by design.

          • h4rr4r

            I am sure my clothes pull some Gs in the washer too.
            Look at the shape those guys are in and tell me with a straight face how tough the sport is.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            My son used to race, and until he did, I thought the same thing, but it’s not just sitting in the car, and he used to be exhausted at the end of the race. And he was in his early twenties.

          • h4rr4r

            I am sure some racing is, F1, CART, etc. NASCAR does not appear to have very athletic drivers.

    • maxneanderthal

      Sorry, but it takes a special sort of mind to actually enjoy golf. There’s always the thought that unless you are world no. 1, then basically you suck at it.
      And you’re being charged stupid money to feel like that.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I look at it and think I’d pass out from boredom (or self-hatred).

        • maxneanderthal

          “I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. I`m really worried about myself. I was actually enjoying it.”
          ― Ewan McGregor

      • Jeffery Campbell

        It’s excellent to nap to on a Saturday afternoon. All that whispering is soothing.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Until a loud ass commercial.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Fair point.

      • chicken thief

        It’s a great way to spend a beautiful day drinking beer with friends.

    • Christian O’Bummer

      Nah. It’ still more of a game than a sport but it requires a lot of skill and focus. I’ve only played a couple times–it’s not for me but I genuinely understand the appeal.
      What made me “get” golf was realizing that you have to be thinking of *nothing* else than your swing when you are taking it–become aware of where your feet are, how your legs are, what you want your arms to do. Having to refocus my attention and my thoughts like that was quite novel and I can see why people can become so obsessed with it.

      • weighmaster

        see the ball, be the ball.

      • Katamount

        And while the pros can get on the green after a drive and maybe a fairway shot, then sink a long putt for an eagle, a novice might be taken upward of 6 or 7 strokes or a par 3 or 4. It’s like being a baseball pitcher: a trained starter might be able to hurl 80 or 90 pitches a game and throw strikes, but us mere mortals will probably tire much faster than that.

        • Christian O’Bummer

          Yeah, I’m ready for a cocktail and a sit-down at around the 10th hole. :)

    • JaveyDay
    • Ling Ling

      Never took it up, not want to be associated w/golfers. I have standards.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Also too as well. What golf courses do to the environment disgusts me.

    • Katamount

      During the summer, I play a semi-regular 9 hole course, and looks can be very deceiving. I mean, it looks leisurely enough. You walk, you line up a shot, you swing a club and walk a bit more. It’s hardly hockey or basketball when there’s long stretches of constant motion.

      But you start to feel it. Particularly if you’re a novice player and you might be swinging too hard from the shoulders. I don’t often play with a cart and I typically walk 5K steps carrying my golf bag, and a 9 holer can take a couple hours depending on the number of players in your party. Multiply that by two for an 18 hole course. By the back 9, you’re starting to feel fatigued; by hole 18, you’ve been out and about for 3-4 hours.

      Now Trump’s the kind of asshole who would drive a cart right up to the ball even if it was on the green, so I doubt he feels the same kind of fatigue I do carrying my bag even on 18 holes. But playing the game as I have, I definitely have some respect for the kind of endurance that the pros require to last 18 holes.

      • ScottGoode

        Years ago when I used to play a little bit of golf (9 holes usually) I found that if I walked it I felt great after it, but if I used the cart I was exhausted. Never figured out why.

        • Katamount

          I think it’s just that your blood is flowing faster as a result of moving. I felt the same way, which is why I only used the cart if I was feeling unwell for some reason or another.

    • Querolous

      BowlingPoolDarts

  • SayItWithWookies

    I will celebrate MLK Day — partly, at least — by hoping that MLK Day 2019 won’t be spent in the shadow of a president who’s a disgrace to the egalitarian values our country and today’s commemorated hero hold dear.

    • msanthropesmr

      I was just gonna bake cookies. Yours sounds better.

  • JaveyDay

    Wow. Disqus deleted by comment quoting King’s “Beyond Vietnam” speech about the United States being the “greatest purveyor of violence in the world today.”

    Detected as spam. Way to go, Disqus.

    • msanthropesmr

      It was all that stuff about multi-level marketing and the Land Rover Range Rover.

      • JaveyDay

        Right, I forgot the part where I quoted how MLK made $9124 an hour working from home with google.

        • msanthropesmr

          See – there’s your problem right there.

      • Wackyland Radio Resistor

        The deadbolt on my new apartment is “LORI” brand, so I think of her whenever I unlock my door.

    • chicken thief

      Like most spell checks not recognizing “Obama” – WTF? Being Preznit of the US isn’t enough to get you into a standard fucking dictionary?!

  • Katamount
    • wide_stance_hubby

      THIS x 1,000.

    • Earl Of Sammich

      I hereby declare one million up-fists!

    • Ling Ling

      Huey FTW!

      • Mary

        Go-o-gle is payin-g- $97 per hour,with wee-k-ly payouts.You can al-s-o avail this.O-n tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four wee-k-s..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s t-h-e most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It so-u-nds unbelievable but you wont forg-i-ve yourself if you don’t check it!dw34s:∫∫∫∫ http://GoogleNewNetJobsThinkPartTimeJobs/get/hourly ♥f♥♥♥r♥♥♥i♥c♥♥♥q♥l♥y♥d♥♥♥m♥♥♥w♥♥y♥♥n♥♥t♥♥♥a♥♥♥t♥r♥♥♥a♥♥♥r♥♥q♥f♥♥d♥p♥♥z♥♥w♥♥y:::::!vw253v:lwe

    • Notreelyhelping

      I don’t know who the character was in the strip, but I like that he looks a bit like Charles Murray.

      • Ling Ling

        Huey Freeman from “The Boondocks”

      • Katamount

        I think that’s supposed to be a caricature of Bill O’Reilly.

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      My favorite episode was the one with the parallel universe where MLK survived, only to be savaged by FOX news in his old age.

      • Katamount

        That’s a lot of people’s favourites, although I don’t think very many white people really grasped King’s rant at the end and just used it as an excuse to say the N-word more.

        President Oprah in the final frame was eerie in light of recent events….

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    To honor the occasion, Donnie managed to hit a shithole in one on the links today

    (or at least Cotton and Perdue are willing to swear that he did)

  • Rick Hill

    Definitely ot: Dolores O’Riordan, frontwoman of The Cranberries, passed away suddenly at age 46.
    Fuck

  • msanthropesmr

    Let us all Pray that Trump golfs as much as possible for then, he will not respond to crises.

  • Nounverb911
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Emperor Shitholio can’t even.

    • Dom Saunders

      Can we not pretend like Ronald Reagan was this sanctified and noble president? Uh…AIDS crisis? War on Drugs? Hello?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Iran Contra?

      • chicken thief

        And worst of all – OLLIE NORTH!

      • Ellie

        He was not, certainly. But it’s pretty awful for me that I look back on the old fart and marvel at how superior he was to what he have infesting the Oval Office today.

        • Dom Saunders

          Superior in what way? He has the blood of millions on his hands due to his negligence. Even with Trump and all his stupid and incompetent bullshit, even he doesn’t have that yet.

          • Ellie

            He had 8 years to do it all. The SOB in the White House has been President for only slightly over 1 year. He has the capacity to do 10 times as much damage as Reagan did, and won’t hesitate to do it because he cares about nobody but himself and his own wants and needs.

            . He listens to nobody, not even his wife. He has no friends. He prefers sycophants to experts. If we all get out of the tRump Presidency alive, and I’m still on the green side of the grass, I’ll take back what I said.

          • Dom Saunders

            That’s fair, I suppose.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Ronald Reagan! That bastion of tolerance who opened his presidential campaign in Philadelphia, Mississippi and helped introduce crack to the black community.

      • Dom Saunders

        And who looked at the AIDS crisis and literally considered it a joke not worth looking into…

      • Ryan Denniston

        You watched morning Joe at 6 am too?

      • Bobathonic

        Hey, he supported gun control. Once he saw the Black Panthers carrying some.

    • kaydenpat

      Says the man who had to be dragged kicking and screaming to sign the Dr. King Day proclamation. He wasn’t enthusiastic about sanctioning South Africa for apartheid either.

  • msanthropesmr

    OK. One more grocery shop.
    Back in a jiffy.

    • Wackyland Radio Resistor

      Lol, one more grocery shop over the line, sweet Jesus, one more grocery shop over the line

      • MynameisBlarney

        You crazy kids and your fancy lingo!

      • weejee

        Brewer and Shipley libel. Lawrence Welk, too, also.

        • Wackyland Radio Resistor

          Did I earworm you? I totally earwormed myself and that song’s in my head now.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Get that cake we like.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    OT : coming up on french telly, a 2 hour (!) documentary called “Is Donald Trump (really) insane ?”. Should I watch ? (I don’t know if I can stomach 2 hours of Donald Trump on a Monday evening…)

    • Wackyland Radio Resistor

      Yes, and live non-comment it for us!!

      • Lyly Sirivong

        That’d be fun ! But I don’t want to clog the threads…

        • Wackyland Radio Resistor

          You could do it in yesterday’s OT! :)

    • MynameisBlarney

      Like the French (or anyone else for that matter) need 2 hours to say “Yes, that fucker’s crazier’n a shit-house mouse.” Or a similar saying in French.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Teh Google say: Oui, ce fou de merde est une souris de merde

    • jowgajen

      As a noncommenter on wonkette, you are probably not going to learn much new info.

    • bbayliss

      It’s your duty to watch and report back.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Only watch if they keep footage of the dotard speaking to a minimum.

    • Bobathonic

      Spoiler alert: yes, he’s insane

    • kaydenpat

      Even if he’s sane, he’s still dumb and bigoted so it doesn’t really matter.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Handy sanity tip: mute but turn on closed caption. Keeps thrown objects and scared pets to a minimum.

  • “…we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a “thing‐oriented” society to a “person‐oriented” society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered… True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it is not haphazard
    and superficial. It comes to see that an edifice, which produces beggars needs restructuring. A true revolution of values will soon look uneasily on the glaring contrast of poverty and wealth… A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.” —“Beyond Vietnam” (April 1967)

    • Wackyland Radio Resistor

      Well, I feel like kind of a jerk for moneying splc instead of doing any service today, but at the same time it’s slightly better than doing nothing at all.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Sending money to the SPLC is no reason to feel like a jerk.

        • Wackyland Radio Resistor

          Yeah, but I wasn’t trying to humblebrag, or maybe I was, I dunno. I would have rather actually done some kind of service.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I had to work, and I’m not able to send any money to the SPLC or ACLU today, but I will be able to soon.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Trump did declare today a national holiday before he went golfing on Friday. What would we ever do without him doing that important thing to take credit for things that already exist?

    • Wackyland Radio Resistor

      Since Obama invented racism, does that mean that Hillary invented sexism? There’s two things Dotard won’t (But could) take credit for.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Give him time, he will claim to “Make racism and sexism great again” soon.

        • kaydenpat

          He sure is working hard to do just that.

    • Crank Tango

      He’s like a shitty, stupid, racist calendar.

    • JohnBull

      I almost went to work today. Thank God for Trump to remind me I didn’t need to.

  • La forza del resistino

    Someone had to kibosh Donald’s plan to bring in all blah caddies as a nod to MLK for the day.

  • Machnethylsteinerbincolabird

    That I can tell you.

    • bbayliss

      Believe me.

      • MynameisBlarney

        YUUUUUUUGE

        • Lance Thrustwell

          People are saying it. And others.

          • MynameisBlarney

            People call me all the time telling me…

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Trump will go away sooner or later. But Trumpese will persist as a mock dialect much longer.

        • JoeChristmas

          Many people are saying.

    • kaydenpat

      Some people have said…

    • wide_stance_hubby

      We’ll have to see what happens. . .

  • TundraGrifter

    So today Mr. Trump hires a Black caddy – in honor of Dr. MLK, Jr.

    • kaydenpat

      Can’t even tell if you’re joking or not.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Doesn’t it suck out loud that we can’t tell goofball comedy from reality? This whole “2018 so far” episode stinks, and I hated season 2017.

      • TundraGrifter

        It’s the deadpan delivery. After thirty years I can still fool my wife with it.

    • mike stone

      And then stiffs him for his pay after complaining that his white caddy was a real pro.

      And then, sues him for complaining about not getting paid. Especially since Trump GAVE him a GREAT opportunity.

  • TundraGrifter

    For Christmas I got a CD “The Wit of John F. Kennedy” and I’ve been listening to it in the car. I was very young when he was elected but I do remember watching the Presidential Candidate Debates between Kennedy and Nixon, some of Mr. Kennedy’s press conferences, and the Cuban Missile Crisis. I’m damn sure there will never be a CD “The Wit of Donald J. Trump.”

    • yyyaz

      I still remember listening to Vaughn Meader.

      • TundraGrifter

        “I have listened to that record. I think he sounds more like Teddy.” – President John F. Kennedy

    • Lefty Wright

      I’m waiting for “The Witless Trump: Gaffes and Other Inanities of Dolt 45”

      • Lord Jim

        The complete set will have to be delivered in a commercial truck

        • Dinz6315

          Making two trips

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I can’t even listen to other people “doing” dumpy. I would gouge out my eardrums with a spork before I’d listen to a CD of his voice.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Well, at least they tried to cover up Trump’s ignorant, racist remark, so maybe they finally realize they ought to be ashamed of him. Too bad they got caught and exposed themselves as liars. Then again, they may just be freaking out because Trump had one of his episodes in front of Durbin after they went to so much trouble to present Trump acting presidential by having a pseudo bi-partisan meeting. The effort must be exhausting. No wonder so many Republicans are taking the ‘off ramp’ that Lindsey Graham was looking for back before the Trumpocalypse.

    • kaydenpat

      But Lindsay Graham is so inconsistent. Sometimes he criticizes Trump and other times he praises him to the highest heights. Can’t stand him but I’ll give him kudos for speaking the truth on this one incident.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Maybe, like Trump, he says whatever the last guy he talked to says.

        Or maybe Putin gives him a little play on the leash to keep him believable.

  • yyyaz

    Fun Facts: The Puritans first codified slavery into law in 1641, when the entire population of the Colonies was about 30,000, including indentured servants and slaves.
    The estimated Native American population at that same date ranges from 2.1 million to 18 million, approximately 90% of whom succumbed to smallpox and other European diseases by 1700.
    Real America has never been white.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Tom Cotton is not to be believed. Caught with a male page in 3…2..1..

    • Parakeetist

      Cotton is not cute enough.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Oh, I don’t know, he might make an okay bottom.

        • Parakeetist

          Sigh

        • wide_stance_hubby

          I can’t help but notice that he has a very long throat. . .

          • Jeffery Campbell

            True, but really it’s all about the jaw.

      • SeekingIndictmentBarbie

        Coercion doesn’t require cuteness.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Like Denny Hastert was hot.

      • Spurning Beer

        Maybe not, but he’s highly absorbent.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          Causes Toxic Shock Syndrome, nasty stuff. Even Milo M. couldn’t make $ off it.

    • kaydenpat

      I can think of very few Republicans who are to be believed right about now. They all seem allergic to the truth.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Cotton should have been in jail for treason for writing that letter to the Iranians subverting President Obama’s authority.

      • Buzz1313

        Or at the very least, at the end of a severe ass kicking delivered by Obama himself. Just kidding.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Completely agree. He’d be a “popular” inmate.

    • mailman27

      As Charlie Pierce yclept him, “the bobble-throated slapdick from Arkansas.”

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Cannot steal that fast enough!

  • Shibusa

    https://twitter.com/MittRomney/status/952915061697384449
    Romney’s not going to run as Trump’s Mormon Wingman.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “Who let the dogs out? Woof! Woof! Yes! Yes!”

      • OneYieldRegular

        Thank you for not allowing that to disappear down the memory hole.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      That was white of him.

    • Crank Tango

      “attributed to POTUS”

      Why that’s nice to give him some fake news wiggle room.

      Which is, coincidentally, the name of my new singles club.

    • kaydenpat

      But he’ll vote along with the rest of the Republican Senators for Trump’s agenda.

      • Shibusa

        But I bet he’ll be a vote to impeach.

        • kaydenpat

          Hmmmm. You have more confidence in him than I do. Trump doesn’t strike me as someone with a backbone and I recall his disgusting birther joke when he ran against President Obama.

          • Lord Jim

            Remember when he addressed the NAACP and admonished them not to “look to me for free stuff”? Good times…

          • Spurning Beer

            WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!!!?!!

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            I would pay good ameros to see Mitt the Twit rub elbows with the local indigenous personnel at my favorite BBQ joint in South Central

        • akryan

          No. Fucking. Way. He’ll get to Washington and tut, tut, about all the terrible things Trump says as “unhelpful”, and then vote straight Republican line and confirm all of Trump’s terrible nominations.

          • Shibusa

            Oh he’d vote with the party on everything else. But it’s Republican Utah, and I’d rather have Mitt in that seat than Orrin “We’re going to make this the greatest presidency that we’ve seen, not only in generations, but maybe ever” Hatch.

      • mailman27

        He was just as vicious a weasel as the rest of the “deep Republican field” in 2012. He’ll shift with whatever wind is blowing.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Refresh my memory, Mittens: how long ago did your church finally agree blacks were human?

      • nightmoth

        I have been told by a native of Utah that it was when the University of Utah sportsball teams kept losing to teams with more -“ahem”-diversity.

        • akryan

          It was probably BYU not University of Utah. (Whisper) Those Utes are all jack mormons. The real thing that’s helped them is that they hit the recruiting jackpot when Polynesians (for reasons I still can’t quite get) went hard for mormamity. They were finally able to get some real players on the DL.

          • yyyaz

            Polynesians, Native Americans and other non-blacks are “Lamanites,” who are much closer to being white than the dark darkies.

          • nightmoth

            BYU and Polynesians. Is this a great country, or what?

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            What.

          • akryan

            yeah, it’s weird, but it’s one of the reasons that Salt Lake City has become much more diverse.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I knew a guy from Hawaii who was Mormon. He was also The Rock’s cousin or something.
            I’ve never heard that Dwayne was Mormon, but a quick google perusal tells me that Diabeetus himself, Wilford Brimley, is.
            https://youtu.be/Z27l6LCf8sY

        • yyyaz

          It was in reality when BYU was threatened with being kicked out of the NCAA. I forget which prophet in charge at the time suddenly had a visit from gawd to change their policies.

          • nightmoth

            Aha! “The rest of the story.” That makes sense.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Dog Almighty or the Network Revenuers?

        • Buzz1313

          Hahaha! Funny because it’s believable.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “No racist. No racist. You’re the racist. You want me to serve on Martin Luther King Jr./Robert E. Lee Day maybe I should play tennis instead of golf, right?”

    • kaydenpat
      • weejee

        Careful or I’ll re-post mine that wasn’t photoshopped.

        • kaydenpat

          LOL! Threat noted.

      • Parakeetist

        Those are big panties

        • Ling Ling

          Yes they are! Who is a big girl now? You are Mr. President!

      • danedg

        Ouch!!!!
        That hurts!

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Just like Stormy Daniels said: he wears tighty whiteys.

  • chicken thief

    I’m sure if Dr King were alive today he’d be great, the best, friends with me and Frederick Douglass!

    ~ Trump

    • kaydenpat

      “Because I’m the least racist person I know.”

      • weejee

        Must refrain from making Goebbels joke, must refrain.

        • kaydenpat

          It’s hard, isn’t it?

        • CripesAmighty

          Yeah, but Heydrich’s not overdone yet…

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      “We could picnic together on the site of the Bowling Green Massacre – it’s on the 14th fairway of one of my golf courses in Virginia, very beautiful and totally, unbelievably classy, very moving – and they could acknowledge that I am the least racist person they had ever met. Because I don’t see colour, I don’t see race. It’s true – I don’t see colour. People say I’m orange, very mean, a total lie – my skin is a very natural shade. It’s just that – you know, I have good genes, the BEST genes. And that’s where I get my colour, my complexion. All natural. All Trump. Anyway, I know Dr. King and Freddie would be impressed when they met me. Very impressed. They seem like pretty good guys too. Dr. King – you know, I had a gardener who looked like Dr. King. Spitting image, really. We had to let him go because he drank. Too bad, nice guy. He started working for us when he was on work release from prison. I was getting a nice little kickback from that program too…anyway…nice guy.

      What were we talking about again? Hey – are those Starbursts? I love the red ones…”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Remember, remember,
        The zeroth of Nevember.

      • mailman27

        Frederick, Frederick, my grandfather was also Frederick, not many people know that, also a great innovator, an innovator, made very very big strides in housing for the blacks.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Douglass and King are both the Anti-Trump. Articulate, thoughtful, brave.

  • Michael R
    • jaspersdad

      A friend almost died in a half frozen lake after going in to save his dog chasing geese.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Darwin nods sagely from the grave, crosses a name off the Award List, sighs, mutters:” they’ll be others, I’m sure!”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      We can post movies to disqus? In that case, I discourage in the strongest terms any Wonkers from uploading any homemade erotic escapades to this august institution*

      *wink wink.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I’m going to look out for those, so I can report them to authorities.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          They will of course require careful analysis.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            With extreme rigor.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Sometimes even pausing at critical moments to catch the “essence” of the film!

      • John Norris

        nudge nudge

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Ahem, as an accredited, published, “Biology Researcher” I implore you eager rookies, to stand back, and watch a “Master” work his Magic!

        At least 4 feet back, if you’ve watched Gallagher’s early work

    • Parakeetist

      Arf arf arf

    • mailman27

      Second time I’ve seen this pooch. The tail never stops wagging!

  • Daniel

    He was, and I will tell you this, great a great, young know, I suppose man. Lots of people call him that “the king”, you heard that? “The” you know and it’s very much the most “king”. Maybe not as much as me, you tell me, I’ll tell you that. He did a lot for the wonderful, for all the wonderful people- many of them black people, but that’s OK, I’ll let him have that, I’ve done more maybe, he never, you know or was he? Because I am. And that’s something that you won’t hear about in the lying media, I call it “lying media”. I came up with that term.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Damn.
      Scary accurate.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Stop chasing meth with poppers, honey.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Be careful, one day your brain’s gonna get stuck that way

  • Indiepalin

    Come summer, we’ll all be walking in Tom Cotton

    • Ellie

      And it will smell like gohmert.

      • Lord Jim

        Slathered in Santorum.

    • willi0000000

      “ON” not “in”

      [ eeewwwww ]

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    “Martin Luther King, Jr., helluva guy! Was great at thesis writing. Not a lot of people knew that.”

  • Notreelyhelping

    I rather prefer having Trump spend MLK Day waddling around a golf course rather that standing in front of a bank of microphones and saying stuff like: “I may be the world’s biggest MLK fan, bar none. Bar none! Everywhere I go in my zeppelin, people thank me for all I’m doing to fight racism! With tears in their eyes!”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Yeah, but there would be a 95% chance he would say something stupid and shitty.

      • SayItWithWookies

        We’ll just have to wait til tomorrow.

      • Notreelyhelping

        “Lotta people say MLK. No. I say The K. That’s all you need to say. The K. He used to love it when I’d say that!”

        • Ling Ling

          Slow clap.

        • Cat Cafe

          “Happy MILF Day! …. what?”

          • OutOfOrbit

            Pix or … Uh.. never mind

          • gnomemansanisland

            Stormy (Daniels) Monday

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Traditionally celebrated by chasing a small white ball around a golf course in his tighty-whities.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I like K so nice, I say it thrice.

          (OK, the chance of Trump knowing the word “thrice” is about the same as my chance of becoming a starting quarterback in the NFL.)

    • willi0000000

      that’s not a zeppelin.

      • CripesAmighty

        Didn’t know there was a Zeppelin named ‘Dockers’.

    • Shibusa

      “….Martin Luther King is someone who has done a terrific job that is being recognized by more and more people…”

    • Spurning Beer

      Donald: “I have been to the muffintop!”

      • Shibusa

        “Me at last! Me at last! Thank God almighty we have me at last!”

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      Everywhere I go in my zeppelin, people thank me for all I’m doing to f right r facism! With tears in their eyes!”
      TFFY

    • greyXstar

      He calls his golf cart a zeppelin.?

      • Notreelyhelping

        Admittedly, it’s a long word for him.

  • TJ Barke

    Because non racists refuse to rent to blacks all the time…

    • Crank Tango

      BUT WHAT ABOUT BEN CARSON AND OMAROSA AND THAT CRAZY GUY AT THE RALLIES?

      • TJ Barke

        Crazy scumbags?

  • Michael R
    • willi0000000

      i kinda want Huey to grow up and become a cop.

      [ or President ]

  • thewalkindude

    Cat schedule:”Executive time” (photo credit to Mothra PI on Twitter) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f6e43edcaab4f2f0a6e11584be98f75efc106e0ba4c760e9bed9782ef86c70eb.jpg

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I had a cat that would sleep–on the dashboard of a moving car–like that. I still miss her and it’s been well over 20 years.

      • chicken thief

        Well, if you’d have rolled up the danged windows maybe she wouldn’t have slid out…..

        Too soon?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Even still.

        • CripesAmighty

          Shame on you *snort*(stifle)*snerk*

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          That remark was beastly, if you’ll pardon the expression

    • wait! what?

      It’s not really executive time unless the remote is on its belly.

      • gallbladder

        And surrounded by Big Mac wrappers and empty Diet Coke cans.

        • Covfefe

          Empty tuna fish cans

      • Ill-Advised

        Executive time in my house is restricted to sleeping on planners, grocery lists, to-do, and other organizational type things. Especially if they’re shaped like rectangles. Bonus points if items are in use at the time.

        The Team has conferred, and unanimously agreed on including the remote, with or without pillow.

  • jaspersdad
    • Toomush Stability

      They made a movie by this title back in the early 60s. I think this screen grab looks like a copy of the billboard for it. My sister and I were stuck at some relative’s house in New Ulm, Minnesota and went to see a matinee…( Nope, Hootenanny Hoot, Brothers Four and Johnny Cash, mostly just songs with a threadbare story)…

  • nightmoth

    NOBODY gonna turn us around!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPuBGcng6Tw

  • Cat Cafe

    When my kid was in preschool, he came home from school “Mom, today, we celebrated Martha Lutin King Day.”

  • Anna Rompage
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Eek! I have a huge phobia of needles and bears.. And Needle Bears!

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      Can Puerto Rico get some of that action?

    • Covfefe

      It is, in a sense, at least, hard, but it’s still a Trump-themed penis joke.

  • janecita

    Trump isn’t a racist, just like my mother in law isn’t a racist. When I was pregnant with my son, my due date was on January 19th. She said to me, “I hope that he isn’t born on that n…r’s birthday.” I almost went into labor when she said that! Btw, my son’s birthday is today:-)

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Being the sort of person I am, I might have named him Martin then and there.

      • janecita

        We already had his name picked out, we were tempted though.

    • wobbly

      January 19th is actually Robert E. Lee’s birthday-some states in the south used to celebrate it as a holiday-maybe they still do. My father, a history teacher whose paternal ancestor emigrated from Ireland, joined the Union army, and survived Andersonville prison, freaked out when I was born on that date in 1951. He never failed to bring it up on my birthday. I began to feel better about it when I found out Janis Joplin was also born on January 19.

      • Ill-Advised

        Edgar Allan Poe, too, IIRC.

  • MynameisBlarney

    So, the UPS driver, that I USED to like, just said he was surprised to see me here on Martin “Lucifer” King Day. He said it like 2 more times when I just stared at him, speechless.

    Up until that point, I thought he was a good person.

    • Cat Cafe

      Narrator: He was not a good person.

      • SDGeoff3

        And he did not seem nice, not at all.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          And then the murders started.

          • SDGeoff3

            As they are wont to do.

    • SeekingIndictmentBarbie

      Did you report him? It’s just possible that UPS wouldn’t be too happy to hear that its drivers are expressing offensive personal opinions while representing UPS.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I think I should.

        • Crank Tango

          He’s probably been saying it all day to people.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Probably.
            Thinking he was clever as fuck too.

          • Crank Tango

            Maybe it was a joke about “seeing the light”*

            *No, no it wasn’t.

          • janecita

            He is probably really happy with his comedic chops.

          • Buzz1313

            Not some people….

        • CripesAmighty
    • SayItWithWookies

      Wow, so tactful of him. I guess if you said something to the UPS folks it might free up that gig for a nice hardworking person of color.

    • janecita

      Call his supervisor, that’s some reprehensible shit right there.

    • greyXstar

      He seems nice!

    • chicken thief

      Did you tape it? I mean, I’m pretty sure he said “shitHOUSE”….

    • Toomush Stability

      Maybe you should have called him on it. “You did mean to say Martin Luther King, right? You’re not a mindless racist, are you?”, while smiling sweetly….

      • MynameisBlarney

        I shoulda said something…but I couldn’t get my brain to do anything. It was on a loop of “Did he REALLY just say that?”

        • Buzz1313

          That’s the worst! When someone says something so insulting and out of left field that you’re left speechless. My hat’s off to you for not calling him a stupid twat.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        The flat, dead, stare and complete silence is sometimes much more effective than arguing. It’s better in a group, the object being to look at the person like a toddler who had an “accident “ in public.

    • TJ Barke

      Yup, trying to lift his people up out of oppression, despair and hopelessness totally makes him like the devil.

    • SDGeoff3

      You can file a complaint with UPS. It works. In the past, I’ve had a driver suspended for two weeks from our route.

    • CripesAmighty

      Fuck those guys. Use the Post Office (it’s a commie gubmint thing enshrined in the constitution).

      • mailman27

        Hear, hear! Almost always cheaper, just as reliable.

      • MynameisBlarney

        We tried USPS before.
        It didn’t work out.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Btw, in what part of the country are you where anyone would consider this remotely ok?

      • MynameisBlarney

        The Keys.
        And racist are everywhere, it’s not regional.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          True. Plenty of them in Southern California

    • stablegeniusahughes798

      Report him.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        I’ve worked for UPS, the joke was the only difference between UPS and Wehrmacht was the Germans had better X mas parties

    • Rooster Cogburn105
  • Daniel Hooper

    Sigh. I’m not totally insane; there WAS a time when we had higher expectations of the President than, “not make things worse”, right?

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      It’s already devolved to ‘not make things TOO MUCH worse.’

    • chicken thief

      On some post a twittererererer posted pics of Obama doing volunteer work as POTUS on various MLK Days during his terms, working along side Michelle and the girls (juxaposed with Trump playing golf). God I miss those days and that family….

    • Toomush Stability

      No, that was George Bush. this one is “just not…….GAAAGHHHHH!”

  • Cat Cafe

    “Today we celebrate Martin Luther King, who was a black, a black MAN, who we all honor, he gave speeches, terrific speeches, not many people know this, but he died I think, but before he died he told me I give terrific speeches, everyone says so, Russia, and other countries, all say so, the best speeches, no other President gives such great speeches, not even Martin Luther who was also President, he had a dream, and we all have dreams, my dreams, the best dreams, Crooked Hillary, what a nightmare, right? A nightmare, disgusting.”

    • chicken thief

      “….everyone says so, Russia, and other countries, all say so,….”

      …not the shithole countries though – who needs THEM?!….

      • Cat Cafe

        Fuck, I should go back and edit, how could I leave out one of his best?

        • chicken thief

          You did just fine – much easier to “edit” than create!

  • gnomemansanisland

    We celebrate Martin Luther King. He invented Rock N Roll and they called him the King. It was shame he got fat and died. But he passed the torch to Frederick Douglass and we’re hearing more and more about him.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Didn’t the King have a son they called the Prince?

  • Toomush Stability

    I’m beginning to think his staff encourages this golfing. One of these days, he’ll look at all that green and not know where he is or how he got there…

    • willi0000000

      some day he will look at all that green and think “they installed the sod upside-down” . . . he will be wrong.

    • CripesAmighty

      And hopefully, they’ll sneak away and leave him there.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Can you blame them? Sure he’s a fuck-up on the course, but he’s not actively fucking everything else up when he’s whacking off out there.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Cat Cafe

      *sobs wretchedly in the corner*

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        “joins you”

        • janecita

          Save some space for me.

          • Cat Cafe

            When I find myself in times of trouble
            Mother Hillary comes to me
            Speaking words of wisdom
            Let it be

            And in my hour of darkness
            She is standing right in front of me
            Speaking words of wisdom
            Let it be

            *sobs harder

          • Opalescent Riddles

            OK, it seems reasonable for me to copy/paste these here:

            They say everything can be replaced
            They say every distance is not near
            So I remember every face
            Of every man who put me here

            I see my light come shining
            From the west down to the east
            Any day now, any day now
            I shall be released

            They say every man needs protection
            They say that every man must fall
            Yet I swear I see my reflection
            Somewhere so high above this wall

            I see my light come shining
            From the west down to the east
            Any day now, any day now
            I shall be released

            Now, yonder stands a man in this lonely crowd
            A man who swears he’s not to blame
            All day long I hear him shouting so loud
            Just crying out that he was framed

            I see my light come shining
            From the west down to the east
            Any day now, any day now
            I shall be released

            — Bob Dylan

          • CripesAmighty

            Mind if I sidle in? (That did it–damn).

    • janecita

      I love how she is throwing some serious shade:-)

      • Cat Cafe

        Right? I love her so much

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Hey, I was just wondering where you have been. I’m glad to see you.

          • Cat Cafe

            Hi! We went on vacay, we were in London and Paris, and it was so, so, so, great to get away. I am feeling much more relaxed and even, yes, hopeful, as long as I don’t spend too much time on Twitter.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Don’t worry, Trump will continue to invade your brain space every single God damn day, until you’re slowly driven back to impotent rage, and crippling ennui. WELCOME BACK TO AMERICA!!!!!!

      • Last Hussar

        Like dementia Donny would notice.

    • Doug Langley

      Now that’s how a President talks.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It must kill her to see this idiot, in a job he’s completely unqualified for, running his stupid mouth every day. She should have been the first woman president.

    • Buzz1313

      That “creative force in the universe” might want to work a little faster because this shit is getting old fast.

  • Paperless Tiger

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/952525384242876416

    What does he want them to do, print a contraction?

    • willi0000000

      he’ll send a copy of the tape to you . . . stapled to a copy of his tax returns.

    • Jimh

      Well, the contractions ARE getting much closer together.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Meaning we shall soon be delivered?

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          From your mouth to Dawg’s ears, LeighBowery…

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            Ramen.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Any day now, any day, now,
          I shall be released.

    • SeekingIndictmentBarbie

      Like that makes it better. Personally, I find it rather alarming for the POTUS to have a “good relationship” with despotic leaders of other countries, especially when they are likely laughing at him behind his back. It was stupid when Bush claimed he could see Putin’s soul, FFS.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I Can’t Get No Contraction.

  • Kakkeltje

    Is it OK to judge people by the color of their skin if they dye themselves orange?

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Historian finds German decree banishing Trump’s grandfather

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/nov/21/trump-grandfather-friedrich-banished-germany-historian-royal-decree

    A historian has discovered a royal decree issued to Donald Trump’s grandfather ordering him to leave Germany and never come back.

    Friedrich Trump, a German, was issued with the document in February 1905, and ordered to leave the kingdom of Bavaria within eight weeks as punishment for having failed to do mandatory military service and failing to give authorities notice of his departure to the US when he first emigrated in 1885.

    • Crank Tango

      So his name wasn’t really Drumpf?

    • HogeyeGrex

      A long family history of draft dodging, then.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        A family tradition!

    • SDGeoff3

      Is it the long form?

    • Doug Langley

      I had no idea bone spurs run in families.

    • TJ Barke

      If only we could banish the rest of the family…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m hoping his children a nd grandchildren will become socials pariahs.

    • CripesAmighty

      Well, we do boot uncovered foreign agents, so…

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Whattayaknow, *my* family was all already US citizens in 1905. Go figure.

      • Arolpin

        Hell, even my Eastern European Jewish ancestors were all in the US by 1905, didn’t get citizenship for another decade or though. They are the Johnny-come-lately side of the family, my Central European Jewish relatives came over in the mid-19th century and my Dutch/German/English/Scottish ancestors arrived in the early-mid 18th century. And none of them were kicked out for being scumbag pimps.

        • John Thorstensen

          Quite a number of Russian Jews left after the aborted 1905 revolution. In many cases this saved their descendants’ lives.

          • Arolpin

            My ancestors left right before that, but they were in Warsaw by then. They came from Kiev a generation before that. (When I was first living in NYC, I shared an office with 4 men who had recently (1-8 months earlier) emigrated from Russia, they all said I looked like I was in Kiev the previous week. It may have been the goatee though, I saw a poster of Lenin in a dive bar, the bartender looked at me, looked at the poster, and said, “Vodka, Vlad?”

    • little miss high and mighty

      …and for violation of the “no weißwurt served after 12:00 noon protocol” (purity law- just ask about this next visit to cranky, tradition-obsessed Freestate of Bavaria).

      • and if you eat Weißwurst the wrong way, they’ll throw Leberknödel at you until you repent.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          I had a Fraulien throw her lederhosen at me once, I got to hose her back, though.

          “Hose your Daddy, Liebchen?”

        • little miss high and mighty

          Funnythng. when fastfood first hit here (early as the late 40’s if you count the jeep and C-47 deliveries)-later McD’s et al; the common complaint amoung Bavarians was “Eckelhaft! Hand food” (fingerfid) mean the while, these fingerphobics had long since been eating their own , beloved (nationaistic) Weißwurst barbarically finger-dipping-then stuffing.

    • Herewegoagain

      And now we got the ‘ king of the swamp ‘

      and as typical Donny ‘ always making pompous pronouncement’s to feel good about himself and satisfy his supporters to reinforce his self-proclaimed role as the defender of working class Americans and his crowning as the “king of the swamp.” Trump styling himself as the spokesman for regular Americans was of course always a ruse devoid of any real meaning.

      Donny the protector of the Americans Worker against the big, bad world : that’s how Donny sees himself and such how many of his supporters view him, and precisely why they voted for him. It was these supporters, more than anyone else, that Donny’s speech is always aimed at . It doesn’t matter what the others think. America First. America Alone.

    • Bill Diaz

      In the same way that some families (like mine) have multi-generational service obligations and traditions, the ‘Trump’ family have a long history of ‘self service’ above and beyond the needs of the nations they fed upon.

      Have a great day!

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Getting Das Boot from Kaiser Bill when we needed every swinging dick on the firing line must be like getting kicked out of the Mongols for B.O.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Trumps were getting kicked out of the Mongols because of Barack? Thanks Obama!

        • little miss high and mighty

          Guess this Obama fixation grudge goes waaay back.
          scheesh!

    • xbutter

      Grandpa Trump returned to Germany to stiff his creditors in the US- he must have figured he could get out of military service in Bavaria by claiming bone spurs, or maybe some disability arising from a tragic brothel accident.

  • chicken thief

    They misspelled “Weakly”.

    • Doug Langley

      Hey, C.T.! Where’ve you been?

      • willi0000000

        hundreds of millions of chickens in this country alone and you wonder where he’s been?

        • CripesAmighty

          And they’ve all come home to roost.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Well just don’t start counting them…

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            Wait ’til they hatch, at least.

      • chicken thief

        Doing way too much work at the office these days…. :-) That and bugging my Congresspersons to do the right thing on healthcare and tax bills.

        • starfanglednut

          There have been mentions of Gohmert from time to time that made me think of you. Nice to see you!

          • chicken thief

            One of the top reasons that I hate Trump with the intensity of 1,000 suns is that he has made mah main man Louie Gohmert seem almost intelligent and thoughtful by comparison. The baton of Peak Derp has been passed from some goober in the House to the Most Powerful Man in The World.

            Mah main man Louie Gohmert still has the most Preznitial ties, though.

        • Doug Langley

          Wanna trade places? My warehouse job ended 3 weeks ago and I don’t have enough dough for rent at end of month.

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Check out contract security: the companies are always short-handed. Get your permits and willing to work graveyard, and you start tomorrow! Enjoy being sneered at by the Frito restock guy!

            “Security, the last refuge of the unemployable”

            Seriously, you can always work 2 lousy job until you find one good one, and you can study on the job for most places.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            Just be careful about who you are an asshole to. I worked at a company where we had an asshole guard who insisted on seeing our ID even though we had just badged through the door and we knew each other by first name. Then one day the company founder (who was well known) came to our building for a meeting carrying a load of files. The guard demanded to see his ID. The founder ultimately had to put down all the files he was carrying to show his ID. The next morning, we had a new guard. It must be nice to be the king.

          • Doug Langley

            I just got done working 3 lousy jobs and starting teaching this week. Unfortunately, the lousy jobs left me with very little money and my first teaching paycheck won’t come for another month.

  • CripesAmighty

    Looks like it’s gonna take a little longer: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ3aDrn7P4M

  • I understand that Frederic — I mean, Martin Luther King Jr. is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.

  • Beowoof14

    I would complain about him being on the golf course, but at least when he’s there, he can’t fuck anything else up.

    • danedg

      With the nuclear football all teed up?

    • little miss high and mighty

      golfcartz on the greens lbelz.

  • I think it is courageous that Trump honored Martin Luther King by re-enacting King’s march on the 18th fairway at Winged Foot.

    • CripesAmighty

      The “March On Mulligan”.

      • MLK, to Pharaoh said: Oh! let my people golf!

        • Last Hussar

          Egypt, just one big sand trap.

    • chicken thief

      When the sprinklers accidentally came on it was like when the marchers got hosed down in Selma back in ’65!

      • JustDon’tSayShithole

        “accidentally” Suuuurrre.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Ii know it’s a federal holiday today but every day is a fukin federal holiday for this guy.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Unfair! Not every day! There was that day where his schedule was released.. start at the crack of 11, and call it a day at 4:30 with several “Executive time” breaks leaving a full 1:45 for Presidenting.

        • ScottGoode

          Plus he only needs 1:45 to completely screw us over and alienate our allies. He’s a businessman so he’s more efficient . Obama would have taken weeks to fuck up as much stuff as Trump does on a given day. And Hillary would have fucked up the fucking up so badly she actually would have made the country better. What a bitch.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    This is what I am thinking about today.

    https://youtu.be/B-XuqHYdJIk

    • little miss high and mighty

      Thanks, Joe-amoung the top most important lyrics of the 20th century.
      On which note we say
      nighty night
      it is half past 10 pm here in the not too cold Bavarian evening.
      bye!

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Gute Nacht lmhm.

    • Steely_Fan

      Dylan’s obvs the unchallenged master, of course. But Leon covers him with style and class, imho:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4sMSSm0x2A&index=3&list=PL263210ECD78933B2

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Somehow with Leon, I was never able to get past “Tight Rope”. I hated it so much that it just totally song-blocked me.

        • Steely_Fan

          Leon was an incredibly prolific and versatile musician, who at times wrote and performed schlock, including writing and producing for Gary Lewis and the Playboys, but mainly produced great pop/blues/R&B. From his early days as a charter member of the Wrecking Crew to the Asylum Choir, Mad Dogs & Englishmen, the Concert for Bangladesh, The Shelter People, and his many excellent albums starting with his first, self-titled in 1970. If you are interested in overcoming your distaste for Tightrope, I suggest read his Wikipedia page https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leon_Russell and you start to listen to some of his early work. I started here in 1970: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvazuyF6eXw&list=PL8a8cutYP7fq7O9AXSpxG65YZSPJSILm-

      • little miss high and mighty

        also sang backup on “Alley Oop”.

  • has any of the wingnuts done the traditional, annual “MLK was a Republican”-shtick yet?

  • Enter Ranting

    “Can you believe that, with all of the problems and difficulties facing the U.S., President Obama spent the day playing golf”
    – Donald Drumpf

  • geoffalnutt

    Hootenanny? I think it’s more likely to be the nanny’s hooters.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Like I would believe anything Tom cotton had to say. He’s the living embodiment of the Peter Principle.

  • mardam422

    So today is named a holiday after Martin Luther King. He isn’t the same Luther that just lost in Alabama, is he. I didn’t back him in the election, right? Anyway, this King guy is apparently some kind of doctor. But he wasn’t the doctor who did my physical last week. I mean, come on, he’s black!! But apparently he’s been doing lots of great things that people are hearing about more and more. I had a caddy once named Martin. Good guy. Knew the course really well, for someone who wasn’t allowed to play the course we were on. Great guy. Gave me good advice, though I’m such a good golfer I didn’t really need it. Tipped him a twenty. So it’s obvious I’m not racist or anything.

    • Delu

      Only Trump would confuse Luther Strange with Martin Luther King.

      Luther Strange is a distant relative of Dr Stephen Strange.

    • ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAav”1

      Reply

      Share ›

      Thank you for an iron. Particularly upvoted for “Knew the course really well, for someone who wasn’t allowed to play the course we were on.”

  • Nephilim
  • azeyote

    maybe golf is proof he’s not a uppity, white trash, racist – he didn’t make Tiger caddy for him when they played a round –

  • President in Exile Firefly

    To be fair to the president, he was only trying to beat MLK’s score.

    • phoenix00

      Also trying to beat Obama’s score.

      What, you think it comes naturally? He’s gotta work at it! Practice makes perfect!

  • Delu

    If anything the old quip that the Trumpians came up with about how it’s BAD when a President (fuck that it only applies to ONE President, Obama) golfs too much, is now coming home to roost REAL GOOD.

    Unfortunately, the Trumpians are fine with being covered with the bird poop from all that roosting.

  • OK, crap. Go back, go back.

    OT: Go back trough. That’s “trough”, not “through.” I meant “trough.”

    What a trufflent you are. Did you got triggered? Can you speak Engrish like I?

    Fusk you.

    I mean to fusk trough this post, because it is drunken and not apparent.

    And if you obliviate it, then sorry for the a-commmerical jab:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYh-n7EOtMA

    I watched it.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Can someone explain the appeal of golf? I just don’t get it. What could make it so fun that someone would want to do it 3 days in a row?

    • Hesavebread!

      I’m a middle aged white man with no dress sense and I don’t see the appeal. I’ve played a few times and the game itself was ok but the clubs are full of arseholes and pettifogging rules so bollocks to that.

  • No wait. No wait.

    Just report on the golfing. They’ll eventually get it.

  • Obey

    Why would he give speeches to people who hate him for no reason ?

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