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Photo by the liberal liars at the WSJ.

The WSJ reported yesterday that just before the election Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen paid a former porn star $130,000 not to talk about about an ALLEGED sex-capade back in 2006. Later, the Daily Beast dumped some more fuel on the ever-raging Trumpster fire, revealing that Daniels had been talking to them and several other media outlets about the story in October of 2016, but suddenly backed out.

According to the reports, Trump met Stormy Daniels, real name Stephanie Clifford, at a celebrity golf tournament at Lake Tahoe in July of 2006. Daniels was there posing for pictures and shilling merch for a porn company with her friend and fellow porn star, Alana Evans. At the time, Daniels was a well known porn star, so of course Trump knew exactly who she was, posed for a photo, and invited her to his no-pants party.

Later in the evening, Daniels allegedly called Evans and tried to convince her to come a party in Trump’s room, but was skeeved out when she heard Trump begging, “Oh come on Alana, let’s have some fun! Let’s have some fun!” Evans says that she and Daniels met up the next day where Daniels dished a little too much dirt.

She tells me, ‘All I’m going to say is: I ended up with Donald in his hotel room. Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty-whities…’

Trump supposedly promised Daniels a key to some fancy Florida condo and a spot on The Apprentice, and she began appearing with Trump at random Trump-branded events, like the launch of Trump Vodka and the Miss USA pageant. Daniels ex-husband says that Trump used to call her up a lot, saying “it would be surprising, but not shocking” if Daniels was banging President Puss-grab. Gross.

Cohen and Daniels deny that she was paid “hush money” over her ALLEGED “sexual and/or romantic affair.” Cohen says that it’s all just some rumor, like the time National Enquirer paid former Playboy model Karen McDougal $150,000 for a story about banging Trump from 2006 to 2007. Or that time another porn star, Jessica Drake, claimed Trump offered her for $10,000 to play with his little apprentice in 2006.

This wouldn’t be the first time Trump has fucked around on his wife. He was famously banging his second wife while he was still married to his first, and he used to call up tabloids under fake names to brag about who he may or may not be currently screwing just to get people to pay attention to him.

If true, all these affairs would have taken place shortly after he married Melon Trump, and cocktail napkin math says that she would have been pregnant with their son, Barron, at the time. What a winner.

Trump’s White House isn’t talking about Trump ALLEGEDLY trying to screw models and porn stars (AGAIN), they’re currently far too busy drowning in a sea “shithole countries” demanding apologies for being called “shithole countries.” Trump did, however, take a moment to jump on Twitter this morning to shitpost about Democrats, Mexicans, and remind us that, when you’re famous, you can do anything, like grab’em by the pussy.

[WSJ / WSJ Archive / Daily Beast]

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  • Daniel

    But he didn’t wear a tan suit, did he?

    • therblig

      portions of his tighty-whities did sport some brownish streaks

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    It sure was nice of the “liberal” media to sit on this story until well after the election. I’m sure they would have had no time, with all that important email coverage anyhow.

  • msanthropesmr

    Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty-whities…

    That – right there – is an impeachable offense.

  • Daniel

    We didn’t elect a pastor!
    (Admittedly you don’t expect them to have been fucking female sex workers).
    Anyway, when did America become so Puritanical?!?!?!?!?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Actually, according to the Evangels, we did elect a pastor. It is a cult, after all…

    • DrBigHead

      The Mayflower?

    • therblig

      Pastor Fuzz

    • Manders

      Uh, when the Puritans showed up in Massachusetts.

      This country has always been weird about sex.

      That being said. We didn’t elect a pastor; we DID elect a classless asshat, and this is just more evidence of same.

    • Mike Minden

      “Daniel? Bill Clinton on line one.”

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      1620? I think that’s when you guys kicked them out and they washed up here, right?

      • Last Hussar

        We didn’t kick them out. We said stop being shitty to not Puritans, so they went to the Netherlands, who said the same thing. That’s when they flounced out in a huff with too many shoes and no food.

  • mrFawkes

    trump’s porn name: Donny Tightwad…Short Dong Orange

    • Mike Minden

      The Astroglide Orangutan!

    • YaJagoff

      Donnie Two Poops?

  • TJ Barke
  • gnomemansanisland

    So did trump just prank Hawaii with a phony missile alert as a distraction.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      What?….

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I wouldn’t put it past him.
      ‘See, that could have been Rocket Man, but I’m keeping you safe!’

  • memzilla Ω

    Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty-whities…

    Welp, no worries about what to have for lunch or dinner today or maybe ever.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I believe the tighty part, the whitey not so much

    • TJ Barke

      But future breakfasts are still in the mix?

      • memzilla Ω

        Coffee=Breakfast for me.

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      I know what I had for breakfast, because I just vomited it back up.

  • Daniel

    Poor Melon. She had to get pregnant to stop him having sex with her.

  • WiscoJoe

    Just wait until women come forward with evidence Trump coerced them into getting abortions and then threatened them to keep quiet. Because that’s definitely a thing that happened. Multiple times. Over 40 years. And we all know it.

    • ArgieBargie

      It will still not make a difference with his supporters. Because they are so deep into this shithole that nothing matters anymore.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Oh dear, it’s time to get out the shit-cutting utensils again. Nobody, least of all his supporters, gives a fuck anymore. We all know who he is. We all know that the only things working correctly are only working because Obama did such a good job that he is finding it impossible to fuck it up.

      • Bitter Scribe

        The conservative asswipe at the Chicago Tribune, who now befouls the place in the paper where the great Mike Royko used to reside, had this to say: “We survived President Obama. We’ll survive President Trump.”

        If we survive President Trump, shit-for-brains, it will be because we had the good sense to elect Obama first.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Oh my stars and garters, a conservative dared to enter that urban hellhole? Or, do they write from out of town?

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          But, thanks for plainly stating the reason people voted for him.

    • Daniel

      And we all know his Evangelical base will support him because it was in the past.

    • puredog

      Well, except that, in the era when Donald was most active, the pill was extremely widespread.

  • memzilla Ω

    Finally, a worse love story than Twilight.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Creepy old guy with awful skin and hair lusting after young female flesh pretending to be a morality tale. It’s the same damn story minus the sparkles.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        with people even harder to look at or listen to…

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Or the S&M. Wait — that was the same damn story…

        • Amy!

          50 Shades of Orange?

  • Daniel

    I am fairly sure Trump is the only person I have ever been aware of with literally no redeeming features.

    • OrG Unstable Genius

      Hitler liked dogs!

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        And was kind to lobsters, like the Swiss.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Hang on, now. Nobody’s irredeemable. Surely he…

      Well, there was the time he…

      Well, what about… no, that was Roosevelt…


      Can you check back tomorrow? I’m sure I’ll have thought of something.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I can’t wait for the circle of evangelicals assholes to show up and praise him for having consensual extramarital sex with a porn star.

    • OrG Unstable Genius

      Just like jebus.

    • WiscoJoe

      And King David said onto them, “Stormy Daniels is a hot piece of ass,” and it was true and the people rejoiced in his glory. Amen.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        And Bathsheba said, “Hold my beer.”

      • james crubb

        And yay verily there was much sexxy time to be had, as the soaked ass led the porn star on with lies about a job and yet cash was paid and there was much celebration

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      They’ll just deny it. Blame it on the mythical guy that prevents them from taking any personal responsibility ever, Satan.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      But the worst consensual extramarital sexxer is still Bill Clinton, for reasons.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Sister groper Josh Duggar gives it two boners.

      • SayItWithWookies

        i.e., one thumb up.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      He was a foetal christian, since he was a baby christian during the campaign.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Besides, that’s the whole point of adult baptism.

      • ManchuCandidate

        The fundie money shot!

      • therblig

        is “adult baptism” a euphemism for activities involving fluids?

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Not really a euphemism, no

      • Little Lulu Ω

        In America pee hookers are called Baptists.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      And praising Jebus that it wasn’t a gay porn star.

    • grindstone

      You guys are *not* well versed on your Fundie excuses. He was MINISTERING to her. Get with the program!

  • ManchuCandidate

    If this were that John Barron fellow then I wouldn’t give a shit who he bangs, but it isn’t. It’s that godly mush brain man, Donald Joffrey Trump aka Preznit Orange Doofus.

    Apres le pee pee, la Stormy.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Maybe related? In any event, irresponsible not to wildly speculate. About Gowdy. And porn stars.
    https://twitter.com/funder/status/952262346696732674?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E3

    • DrBigHead

      And no one will follow up on this,

      • Daniel

        The damn liberal media has no interest in reporting things like this.

    • VirGinYa

      He’s spending time with his banjo.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Okay, who told Trey Gowdy what ethics were?!

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        It had to have been an accident.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      You forgot to non-jinx me for duplicating your non-comment above.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        It’s important enough to be repeated a few times.

        • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

          Why, yes. Yes it is.

  • Sashineb

    Things that make his wives go hmmm …
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF2ayWcJfxo

  • ArgieBargie

    When it comes to ugly motherfuckers banging porn stars, at least Ron Jeremy has…big hands.

  • BosGrl

    OT: Just popped in to check on our friends in Maui and thinking of what they went through this morning.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Bad enough when Mother Nature causes static, but it seems that these were some supposedly well-trained military assholes.

      • BosGrl

        I heard a HI state senator on CNN talking about huddling in the bathtub with his 8- and 4-year-olds, and getting to the 12-minute mark… Jesus H. Christ.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Could I live on a planet where nobody has to do that for any reason, please? Kthxbai

          • BosGrl

            Right?? OMG.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Although, given that this is January of the Year of Our Lord 2018, when I read about a senator huddling in a bathtub with children my head went in somewhat of a different direction. Sorry.

        • Ms.Moon

          If anyone else were in the White House this would not be taken as seriously as it had been. Two years ago I would definitely thought mistake before I am going to die and my children with me. This is terrifying.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        They’re saying it was a mistake. Bullshit. Someone typed that message. Who?

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          A “mistake” is an extra dollar in the grocery reciept.

        • puredog

          I suspect that particular message is pre-typed, and that mis-hitting “send” was all that would be required. Or — for example — they meant to send out message #23 and some dyslexic sent out #32, or the like.

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      Thank you so much. We are fine now, but we were really scared for a while this morning. I just hope people can get through to emergency services now.

      • BosGrl

        Thank you for checking in. Sending big hugs to both of you.

  • Squeegee

    Stormy Daniels was featured in an HBO documentary on the porn industry in the San Fernando Valley…called “Down in the Valley” or something like that…she was in some hilarious looking porn parody of Spaceballs….kind of interesting to me she would have taken such a small payout instead of a million dollar interview on Trump

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I’m not a woman or gay, but for me the only sufficient payment I can think of for having sex with that would be his first-born child.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Don Jr? Ew.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          I considered that, but there was no better cliche.

          • commatoes

            A pound of flesh would be barely noticed.

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      A parody of Spaceballs? Meta!

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        “Snotty beamed me twice last night…”

  • spangled

    I wonder if melania is allowed to cheat, something tells me she isn’t.

    And I know I shouldn’t feel bad for her because she’s so #complicit, but being cheated on while youre pregnant has gotta be tough. Especially when your husband is the most misogynistic person in the world.

  • Count Awesome

    It’s no big deal to Trump’s base: all those poor white men wish they could be paying for sex with porn stars.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Oooops, this post has been relocated to spangled’s comment.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Wow, one of them has a nanoerg of moral compass? Fascinating

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        I doubt it has anything to do with a moral compass.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Perhaps you’re right, and there’s something else cooking

          • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

            I hope it’s his goose.

      • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

        Someone’s probably blackmailing him.

        • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

          Retirement in 3… 2… 1…?

          One can only hope.

    • Christopher Story

      Something tells me jig’s up and he knows it.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      How much would it cost to hire Fusion GPS and point them at Nunes?…

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        I have the feeling his name will eventually turn up in the Mueller investigation.

    • Ling Ling

      Too bad he not resign. Period.

    • commatoes

      Charitably described in the south with, “That boy ain’t quite right.”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb416e40d85d9d9d38b5f5dac8962473a5caf977cff11887970443b4db123a56.jpg

      • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

        Greasy little mofo.

        My god, he reminds me of a guy I once dated. Things were going great until his mom called me to see if he was with me because he hadn’t checked in with her for a few days. She said he didn’t take his meds with him.

        Is he okay without them? I asked.

        Well….They’re to control his rages, she said. The last time he left them he wound up punching a cop in Detroit.

        We parted ways not long afterwards.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Show business for ugly people. Here’s your poster boy.

        • Cock Blockula

          He’s got a face made for radio.

      • rubikcube

        The ‘wet’ look….

    • puredog

      Bye, Felicia!

  • (((Sedagive)))

    Racist, illiterate, cruel, ignorant, lazy, entitled, misogynist fucking moron.

    Trump truly is the Evangelical messiah.

    • La forza del resistino

      He just needs to be reminded he is pro-life every now and then.

      • (((Sedagive)))

        At lest they’ve lost the mantle of “morally superiority.”

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        If he’s caught on tape fucking a corpse, they’re still going to say he’s pro-life, aren’t they?

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          Does the old “live boy or dead girl” standard still apply?

      • Dinz6315

        Anyone who thinks that guy has never solicited, arranged or paid for an abortion is wilfully blind.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      No, the other one. Who else would move the US embassy to Jerusalem? What has anyone else done that is closer to “rebuilding the temple”?

  • ArgieBargie

    The WSJ is obviously in the tank for Hillary! Deep State!

  • memzilla Ω

    O/T NICE TIME! From Rachel via Palmer Report: Mueller has 51 more Trump Team laptops and cellphones

    It was Rachael Maddow who discovered that in Mueller’s latest court filings in the case against Paul Manafort and Rick Gates, the Mueller team is now disclosing possession of eighty-seven electronic devices, as opposed to just thirty-six such devices a month ago. That means that in the past month, Mueller and his team have somehow come into possession of an additional fifty-plus laptops and cellphones from Trump’s people.

    That’s documents, emails, attachments, call records, contact lists, forensically-recoverable deleted data…

    Those upcoming interviews with Team Mueller are going to be quite the entertainment! Can’t you see Mueller sitting there with one of the Twitler Spawn and after they’ve done all their lying lies and he’s about to leave the room, he turns back around and goes all Columbo on their ass with “Oh… just one more thing?”

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Why do I suspect that these people are so ignorant of basic IT hygene that the recycle bins have never been emptied?

      • Mary Stone

        These people are also apparently incapable of wielding hammers or electric drills. Stupid is as stupid does.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Fake news (implants?)

    Trump is not a two-timing, whore monger. No way.

  • kLo

    “She tells me, ‘All I’m going to say is: I ended up with Donald in his hotel room. Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty- https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fea3bc120686c1150b1870e1068069ba23b9cec85cfed1a64af2551fedb1b4e4.gif whighties”

  • Mike Minden

    Donald Trump: “I did not have sex with that woman.”

    I could actually believe that. No other part of him functions properly, why would liddle diddle Don?

  • Bub the very stable zombie

    Trump’s porn name is “Tiny” Pete Ness.

  • La forza del resistino

    Hawaiians gets false alarm missile alert on their cellphones.
    Someone will blame it on an Obamaphone as soon as his Executive Time is over.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I would like a feel-good story about Dumpy.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Well, the man’s only 71. I’m sure he’ll have one someday.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      His obituary?

      • Mary Stone

        ^^^^THIIISSSSSS^^^^

  • Bub the very stable zombie

    Donnie wanted to be an adult film star, a la “Bucky” Larson.

    • YaJagoff

      He didn’t meet the adult requirements.

    • rubikcube

      Shall we speculate on his “stage name”?
      Long John Miller?
      The Orange Baron?
      Freddy Ruxpin?

      • Ling Ling

        The original “angry inch”

        • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

          nanometer

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        “Small Hands” Luke?

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Bork Turgidson.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Lil Don

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Tuna Can Trumpy

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Bub the very stable zombie

      “Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings, and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities expressed in crime, perversion, and insanity.”
      ― H.P. Lovecraft

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        And the only example HE had was Billy Sunday.

        • Mary Stone

          There was also Aimee Semple McPherson as well.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            I’d forgotten about her. She must have been fun to hang with.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Can we all agree that Jerry Falwell Jr has less idea of what Christianity is than a box of rocks would?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Well, yes. Of course…

      • Apple Scruff

        My young, new’ish co-worker graduated from Liberty last year (and worships Falwell Jr.) and she is quite frankly one of the most difficult people I’ve ever worked with. The definition of “speshul snowflake”.

        • jodyleek

          Get a red letter bibble and memorize the red letter parts (words of Christ). Drop them on her strategically. Fake xtians aren’t particularity interested in the words of their “savior”. Allow hilarity to ensue.

    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Pastor Tinky Winky’s son sez wut?

  • rubikcube

    This smells of a JohnBarron planted story: [by that do I mean McDonald’s and Astro Glide?]
    -Salacious porn star details capable of diverting attention away from everything
    -Confirmation of Donald’s massive testosterone levels
    -Lots of trails to chase down that lead nowhere
    -Curious Trump-like quotes attributed to other people
    -Ultimately no verifiable details due to a handy NDA.

    “Who you gonna believe some sleazy two-bit porn star who would go so far as to violate an NDA or the President of the United States, huh?” Don’t answer that.

    • Count Awesome

      I believe the porn star.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Someone last night pointed out that this is a distraction from the shithole comment which was a distraction from another scandal which was a distraction from the Russian investigation. He keeps escalating distractions and is going to run out of things soon.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’ve been wondering about the Mueller endgame. All of this “You’re the complicit” yelling by the Trump himself, so when Mueller does bring blame, 35% of the country will go, “Nah”. Will they then be up in arms? How will Washington react to threats? Will coastal states start threatening Midwest and Southern states?…I have only fears…

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Its a cult, taking down the cult leader never works out well but letting them grow the cult doesnt work out well either.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Right, the craziness will not be easily cured…

    • La forza del resistino

      the only lies an adult movie actress tells are part of her script. ‘more, more ,more’ etc

    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

      There is, apparently, a lot of confirmation that the story is true in the form of emails and whatnot between Daniels and Slate and Good Morning, America.

      Daniels was thinking of going public because–surprise!–Donnie was late with the payment.

      https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/12/us/trump-stephanie-clifford-stormy-daniels.html?smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur

  • AJ Milne

    Someone (apologies, can’t remember who or where) pointed out in an earlier thread, and I’m repeating, as it _does_ strike me as relevant:

    That Trump would do such things, and pay hush money over it, is interesting. There’d been noise about to the effect that claims about the more _colourful_ kompromat existing are implausible because the man has so little shame. As in: it doesn’t fit his MO or his character that this would even bother him. Like he’d _care_ if there were tapes of him frolicking with Moscow sex workers, micturation or no…

    This was always a bit… simpleminded, I thought. There’s lots of reasons a man with apparently little shame will turn out to have indiscretions that _do_ turn him pale at the thought of their becoming public. Mind: I also have to acknowledge, upfront, I’ve always been one of those a bit meh about that particular detail or at least its significance; lurid as it is, I always figured the real leverage against Trump is more likely to be in the financial crime domain, if any. That particular story, if legitimate (I’m not casting shade at Steele; he is said to know his area, and if he tucked it in, I figure he figured it was at least solid _enough_ to mention), it always seemed to me it was likely to be bonus material. An opportunity seized, maybe one thing on top of others they already had… Like what the hell, he’s here, send the girls, see what we get. My picture of how Russian bureaucracy in general works also kinda makes this seem likely enough. As in: it’s a bit chaotic, you’ve got a lot of actors, many of them kinda at odds with each other. Someone doing that op mighta been a bit loose cannon. Let’s try this. Show our competitors at neighbouring desks just how this is done. (Again: assuming the information is good…)

    … but the point is: the Daniels thread does point out something not surprising. That being: looks like you absolutely _could_ get leverage, that way, anyway. And with stories like this about, the people looking to generate the kompromat would absolutely figure it was worth a shot.

    • Ling Ling

      WSJ is solid Trumpolini, so it is easy for me to believe this is planted distraction. Might even be true, but still meant to distract.

      • Last Hussar

        No. Murdoch papers promote only one person’s interests: those of the Dirty Digger. Everyone else has a shelf life.

    • Mary Stone

      The Trumpster’s inability to abstain from sharing his brain-droppings on Twitter within 20 minutes of every “Fox and Friends” segment shows just how easy he is to manipulate. They have decades’ worth of Kompromat on him, of the Bertie Bots’ every flavor beans variety, if the varieties in question are boogers, earwax, vomit, feces, and urine.

  • canes_pugnaces
  • Mentally Stable Ron

    This ought to add another year or two to poor Barron’s inevitable therapy.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      You know therapists that are willing to work for anyone with the last name Trump are already planning on which islands they can buy.

      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Won’t matter. Those islands are all surrounded by a bigly ocean, and if we keep ignoring climate change, they’ll get, er… swamped.

        Actually, it might be a good time to start investing in Nebraska waterfront-property futures.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Woah there are oceans there? Did you know Norway has a thing called “water” they use for the hydro?

        • James

          I already live on the Nebraska Sandhills’s edge, so I’m all set. Beachfront property.

    • Rooster Cogburn105
  • Reximus

    Jesus hung out with prostitutes…so Trump is basically Jesus

    -‘Oral’ Roberts Jr

  • Stable Genius Jack

    Well, the “tighty whitey” comment rings true. We’ve seen his unseemly seam in that lardass photo of him playing tennis.

    Then there’s Ms. Stormy herself. Blonde. High cheekbones. Put her face with most of the others accusing him of varying degrees of grabass and rape and it’s clear that Donnie does have a type.

    Interesting. Not at all surprising, but interesting.

    I can also hear him saying “Oh come on Alana, let’s have some fun! Let’s have some fun!” in that fake-ass whiny voice he sometimes (all of the times) uses.

    • Reximus

      One thing all trump’s ‘loves’ have in common…$$$$

  • Count Awesome

    More of that “Trump Brand”® “Morality”.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Ugh. I’ve always assumed porn stars had more pride.

    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven
      • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

        Porn extras, even.

      • Stulexington

        Have you seen the cast lists of most porn? It’s like 5 people per film max.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          Including the towel boy?

        • Last Hussar

          Who the fuck is reading the credits.

          Apart from you, obviously.

          • Stulexington

            The people looking for character porn performers and average working porn performers. Duh.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Umm, as a “friend” told me, there are supporting actresses who assume a “non-standing” supportive role, see “fluffer”

        • Last Hussar

          Viagra has made flutters redundant. (Source: QI)

    • Ryan Denniston

      Sasha Grey can stand with pride, she never landed in the clutches of Trump.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Don’t know if “stand” is her preferred position in this matter, but I may be persuaded to do some “research” on the topic.

        Kids, don’t try this at home, I’m a for-real Biologist, so stand back

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Stulexington

      I’m the best at freedom of speech, nobody respects freedom of speech better than me. Believe me.

    • puredog

      This is somewhat old news, though.

  • Joshua Norton

    The only thing I find strange about hearing that Donnie paid a porn star hush money is that he didn’t attempt to work that story into the cringe-worthy speech he gave to the boy scouts.

  • HarryButtle

    I don’t make it a habit of judging/shaming sex workers, but what the fuck was she thinking? Ew.

    • Ling Ling

      I also work on a time/materials basis and I tolerate the bad spots w/an invoice.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      So Alana Evans has better taste in men than any woman who married Trump?

  • Stable Genius Jack

    I think we should play this every time some new revelation about this shitshow shithole comes out.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mam3iJLvCs

  • Ryan Denniston

    “She tells me, ‘All I’m going to say is: I
    ended up with Donald in his hotel room. Picture him chasing me around
    his hotel room in his tighty-whities…”

    No one wins in this one. Not Trump, not Daniels, not Melon, not Dominic, none of us.

    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

      Nope. Mueller wins. Completely confirms Donnie’s susceptibility to blackmail. If he’d pay off someone to keep quiet about something as relatively tame as extramarital sex, just think what lengths he will go to to hide something much, much bigger.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        ♫ Who’s the mouthpiece who’s worked for Trump,
        Since only God knows when?
        M-I-C-K-E-Y C-O-H-E-N!

        Who’s the guy who bails you from your Stormy Daniels yen?
        M-I-C-K-E-Y C-O-H-E-N!

        Mickey Cohen, Mickey Cohen,
        His Cooley law degree forever flies, lies, lies, lies,

        Who’s the guy who’s looking at
        (At least!) a five to ten?
        M-I-C
        See you in Federal Court.
        K-E-Y
        Why? Because you’re the next witness to flip and you know where all the bodies are buried.
        C-O-H-E-N! ♫

        • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

          All this upfists!!!!!! Well played!

  • major_asshole

    Quick point, Dom: The “denial” from Clifford came from the White House and was signed “Stormy Daniels,” so take the whole denial with a boulder-sized grain of salt.

  • Ryan Denniston

    What do the Russians have on this guy? We really need Daniels to go before the Special Counsel to assess if it really is pee hookers, or if it’s worse.

    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

      It’s worse.

    • Mary Stone

      It’s worse. It’s money laundering for everyone from Baby Doc Duvalier to all of Putin’s oligarch “friends.”

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I don’t care one way or the other about this story. So he may have cheated on the nude model? She married him knowing who and what he is. So he may have cavorted with porn stars? Does that bother anyone if anyone else does it? I really wouldn’t care much if he cavorted with porn stars in the WH, at this point; he’s done everything to dishonor the office except video himself while he drops trou and takes an actual shit on the Resolute desk, then deny it when the video is shown.
    What I do care about is that the only country I’ve ever called home is being turned into a dystopia that seems to be sliding down an unstoppable chute into utter chaos, disaster, and dissolution. And it’s getting faster and faster every day. And nobody has anything to offer except thoughts-n-prayers because the Constitution didn’t anticipate the possibility that an entire political party could become complicit in deliberately destroying the United States from within.

    • Blackest Noobs

      well sometime could be done, they, the Republicans could impeach him, there’s another there to do so.

      sure, it means taking a loss, but then they would have Pence who wouldn’t rock the boat as badly as Trump.

      it would be the smart move…just don’t see why they do not impeach him.

      • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

        I don’t know why no one will believe me on this. Pence is as deep in Russia as Trump is. When Trump goes down, Pence will go down with them.

        This will not happen through impeachment, though. The Republicans will never impeach Trump.

        • Blackest Noobs

          i getcha, but it makes like zero sense to keep such a rotten apple as Trump when everyone knows he gives fuck-all about loyalty to the GOP….sure Pence might be dirty but his dirt isn’t on the news on an hourly basis every single fucking day…

        • Apple Scruff

          Oh, I totally agree about Pence. A lot of people do. I think Paul Ryan is also in deep shit up to his eyeballs.

        • commatoes

          Pence denied any knowledge of Flynn and Russia, after Flynn’s firing by Obama (for being a conspiracy nut mind you), multiple briefings by the intelligence community, and a number of news reports on tv and in print by multiple sources. Maddow did a break down one evening and included citations. The next Speaker of the House may be installed as president.

        • I believe you. Manafort was the one who pushed for Pence as VP. He may not have been as involved as the rest of the freakshow but he knew,,which makes him just as culpable, imo. The ones running interference for *t received funds from Russia no doubt in my mind.

          • puredog

            That article yesterday from that weird website about Russian gangsters suggests to me that Manafort is in all of it up way past his eyeballs.
            (for those who missed it: http://www.citjourno.org/page-1 )

          • Oh yeah. Thanks for the link.

          • I just read the article and although I was familiar with a few aspects of it, I had forgotten completely about Levinson. Unless there really is more than Mueller’s investigation working behind the scenes, we are truly screwed. I’ve never accepted that *t won the election without massive skullduggery. Very sad.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            According to Jane Mayer’s Dark Money (Written before the election) Pence was Charles Koch’s fair-haired boy and choice for president.

          • She’s most likely right. I read the Manafort connection a while ago so I don’t have a citation for it. It’s like herding cats trying to keep up with this travesty. : )

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            She did some real old fashioned research. The book is a real light shining on the cockroaches that are the Kochs allies like the Devos/Prince Amway connection. ALEC, and the various “charity” religious scam companies they funnel funds through.
            And totally agree on trying to keep up.

        • 10 months. get out the fucking vote.

      • puredog

        I don’t think he would go gently, and so there would be a period — perhaps a substantial period — of even greater disruption before Mikey could lay his gentle milk-white hands upon the rudder of the ship of state. Also, they may not have the votes. Also, there would be the violence in the streets (at this point).

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Putin’s got them by the short hairs?

      • james crubb

        Grover Norquist wanted a pres who couldn’t read so he could push through his agenda.

    • Stulexington

      It shows that the Russians likely have something on him. It also shows that he pays hush money or otherwise capitulates to people who have something on him. We already knew this, and we already knew his excuses were all bullshit but it’s evidence that we’re right … we’re boned.

    • Drinkalong

      Word.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I thought us liberals were supposed to be the depraved, immoral ones ?

    • William

      Well of course you are. Thank goodness we have a good Christian president. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9f207a0457271b45cd31c2ff75fbf02f8f224f0e67e2db0e07dba92ed339a9f5.jpg

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Is she being sarcastic? Please tell me that isnt serious.

        • William

          I’m pretty sure it’s sarcasm and snark. Damn good sarcasm and snark I might add.

    • Mike Minden

      Only when we act like our “betters.”

    • Stable Genius Jack

      We have to buckle down and try harder, I guess. Debauchery ain’t gonna thrive by itself.

    • Parakeetist

      I don’t know who they’re talking to. I haven’t gotten any in years.

    • Teecha

      Yep, with all that ‘it’s ok if everyone consents’ rubbish, no matter how obscene* the act

      *obscene is everything but missionary after marriage.

      • Sex is filthy, sweaty, depraved, and disgusting. But only if you’re doing it right.

        • Rags

          I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

        • Teecha

          Wahey!

  • Stable Genius Jack

    Remember when being photographed with porn stars was the political equivalent of the kiss of death?

    • Doug Langley

      Just ask Gary Hart about that.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yeah. Look what it did to Stormy Daniels’ political career.

  • Christopher Story

    Maybe the hush money is ED related. Would explain why he never bragged about it, and it would mean that, technically, Donnie did in fact, not have sexual relations with that pornstar.

    • commatoes

      I know ED better than the urologists.

      An entire plausible statement made by POTUS.

    • puredog

      Nah, that can’t be it. He’s in excellent health.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    The absolute last thing on my to-do list is picturing Twitler in his tighty-whities.

  • Blackest Noobs
    • puredog

      Well, it took him a couple of moments, but it is good stuff. I have to wonder if he preceded this offer with an offer to split his fee with Williams (which I thought would have been appropriate and adequate) but she turned him down.

      • Blackest Noobs

        it’s damage control. like i said, i a start but hardly enough….

  • Reximus
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Hey, she was in some of my favorite movies – The 40 Year Old Virgin for one, in which she played (wait for it) a Porn Star!…

      • Phried Ω

        Meryl Streep was in that?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Yeah and she killed. She is such a chameleon that you could swear she was Stormy Daniels.

    • Bub the very stable zombie

      “Listen Stormy, we’ll give you $130,000 to shut up. But a quarter million if you TELL people – as long as you say Mr. Trump has the biggest penis you’ve ever seen.”

      “Sorry, I’ll just take the $130,000. I mean, I’m not exactly Meryl Streep…”

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • Doug Langley

      Brilliant.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    do we need to add “no Trumps, no pants, no problem” to the rules for non-commenting radicals?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    The gist of this is not that trump was cheating. We all knew him as a cheater for decades. The only moral aspect here is the Evangelical crowd wanting him to be a “good” Christian. But they are okay with failure in that regard. The news is how much and perhaps how often he is willing to pay women to lie about it….

    • Blackest Noobs

      the hilarious part about evangelicals is they’re actually ok with you behaving badly if you ask for forgiveness and actually, i dunno, feel remorse for your sins.

      obviously Trump does not.

      why they ARE still with him is a mystery even to God ™

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I don’t think there’s a mystery. Their social philosophies: anti-abortion, keep out brown people, support for Israel as a harbinger of the End Times, etc. are supported by Trump. Religion for them is a fig leaf for their political, social, and economic views.

        • Blackest Noobs

          not them, God ™

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Ever so much, THIS^^^.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      For supporting the most un-christlike thing on this planet, the Evilangelical Christains can kiss my butt. They are crooked mutated delusional vermin!

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Uh, isn’t the surprising part of this story that the WSJ broke it?

    • I was rather shocked at that venue myself.

      • puredog

        People situated like Murdoch tend to know things we don’t. For example, I would wager a fair chunk of change that he knows more about what Robert Mueller knows than do we. The WSJ may have, for whatever reason, come to the view that supporting Trump is not backing the winning horse. Not that this will translate — at least not immediately — into anti-Trump opinionating; but in the short run (if I am right) you will see more of this prim but factual “we report, you decide” stuff, like the Stormy Daniels story.

        • Ling Ling

          I disagree a little. I think the WSJ released this story as a distraction. They aren’t abandoning Trump, they are trying to rescue Trump.

          • Phried Ω

            With friends like Murdock…

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Perhaps so, but I think they threw him a lead life jacket, a little test for the fundagelical Trumpanistas.

    • commatoes

      Remember Murdock is a member of the “Trump is a moron crowd.”

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        I think it’s more “Trump is a moron—but he’s our moron” crowd.

        • commatoes

          Maybe he’s made the choice between Trump and Pence?

          Moron or hypocrite?

          • Jon Sussex

            He got his tax bill and doesn’t care about ‘bortions, gays, or guns.

  • JaveyDay
  • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

    I miss the liberal communist who only committed lust in his heart.

  • William
    • 🍁 Møøse Fuddlin’ Girl Guide 🍁

      Get me out of this timeline. Bill Kristol isn’t supposed to sound like a humanitarian or make any fucking sense!

      • commatoes

        No more ODS or Obama Derangement Syndrome.

      • Blackest Noobs
      • Ellie

        Broken clock. Broken clock.

      • JustDon’tSayShithole

        Clearly all the writers responsible for our timeline have been sacked.

        • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

          A Møøse once bit my sister.

        • handyhippie65

          and have been replaced by a room full of chimps with typewriters.

          • JustDon’tSayShithole

            Which is why we are now in the blurst of times.

          • handyhippie65

            and a rose by any other name would still smell like shit.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is one of the horrors of the Age of Donald; you find yourself nodding sagely at the tweets of Bill Kristol.

        • Bitter Scribe

          And thinking of George W. Bush and Mitt Romney as statesmen.

          • james crubb

            Whistfully thinking of Bush’s diplomatic skills is a thing I never expected to say

          • handyhippie65

            i remember the first time i missed the shrub. i just about cried.

          • Angelina

            Go-o-gle is paying 97$ per hour,wi-t-h weekly pa-y-outs.You can al-s-o avail this.On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Ro-v-er from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the mo-s-t-comfortable job I have ever done .. It s-o-unds unbelievable but you wont forgive y-o-urself if you don’t check it!ne85h:➺➺➺ http://GoogleInternetComunityFxPartTimeJobs/get/hourly ♥♥♥z♥♥♥c♥♥h♥r♥♥v♥r♥♥♥o♥v♥♥n♥♥m♥i♥♥♥u♥♥♥f♥♥h♥o♥♥♥h♥♥h♥♥♥o♥♥z♥o♥♥♥t♥g♥♥♥l♥♥♥v♥♥p:::::!vw182k:lwed

          • Rosa

            Goo-g-le is pay-i-ng 97$ per hour,w-i-th weekly p-a-youts.Y-o-u can al-s-o avail this.On tues-d-ay I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-o-u-t any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever do-n-e .. It s-o-unds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it!ve583w:↠↠↠ http://GoogleNewNetJobsDailyWorkFromHome/find/jobs ♥♥♥e♥p♥p♥♥♥p♥♥♥q♥x♥♥♥u♥♥b♥♥♥d♥♥a♥i♥m♥♥q♥♥n♥♥♥b♥i♥y♥p♥♥♥m♥♥m♥♥♥n♥m♥♥♥f♥♥♥m♥♥♥t:::::!ve181q:lwei

      • HooverVilles

        I second this. BIGLY!

        ;-)

      • little miss high and mighty

        Ghost writers, well paid

      • wavicles

        Upside-down World

      • Snopes Shop

        will never forgive him for palin. not ever,

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      There’s a reason Kristol’s new nickname is “woke Bill Kristol.”

  • Anna Rompage

    $150,000 and a shitty condo that was bought with laundered Russian money? That’s it? From a guy that has eleventy billion dollars in the bank…

    • Blackest Noobs

      i hadn’t really thought about it but yeah Trump totally probably paid her off with NOT_HIS_MONEY….like he does with charities.

    • Sunhead

      You are still surprised at how cheap he is, after seeing those suits all year?

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      From a guy that has says he has eleventy billion dollars in the bank…
      Fify yw

  • Gigglesnort

    Me to daughter: So, Trump allegedly paid hush money so the porn star he was banging.
    Daughter: Was she a pee hooker?
    Me: I think she’d object to being called a hooker – she is in the porn biz.
    Daughter: I’m saying pee hooker.

    • John Iwaniszek

      What a darling child. so precocious.

      • Gigglesnort

        Not a child anymore .. in her 20s.

        • Phried Ω

          Still precious.

      • Grumpy Twat

        She has clearly spent time with my two fillettes

    • Barb Raynor

      Not sure where the points go …your daughter or your parenting skills. Job well done.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      I think Stormy Daniels may be the only person Trump has ever fully paid.

      • james crubb

        Laugh

  • JaveyDay
    • Ling Ling

      That isn’t a joke, is it?

      • rubikcube

        And why the giant red penis? I’m not complaining, but…

    • puredog

      I assume that’s supposed to be an eagle, but really it looks a lot more like a duck.

      • JustDon’tSayShithole

        Same here. And what’s with the clown dick on the left?

        • wavicles

          That’s our president.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            No, no, the far left.

            The thing that looks like a red penis.

            I assume it is subtle tribute to Vladimir Putin.

          • wavicles

            Yes, again, that’s Donald J Trump.

      • JaveyDay

        It’s an emu head on an eagle’s body.

        • JustDon’tSayShithole

          What would you serve with roast emugle?

          • JaveyDay

            Covfefe.

          • JustDon’tSayShithole

            I walked right into that one, didn’t I?

        • Sunhead

          Ostrich head.
          Emu’s have black beaks.
          I still remember when they stole my lunch while I was eating it.

      • wavicles

        GOOSE

      • Daniel

        It’s been shopped. The original has him carrying a minigun* and an eagle. Someone’s altered this so the eagle has an ostrich head and the gun is a dick.

        *I think that’s what it’s called.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Ostrich head on the eagle?

    • xzargo

      Too much crotch.

  • WinningerR

    This shocks precisely no one. If there’s a real story here, it’s the source of the hush money. 50/50 odds that $130K was paid with campaign funds.

    • puredog

      Or it was really 7.36M rubles.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Ya mean Donnie wouldn’t pay hush muneez out of his own pocket? Heavens to Betsy!

    • Phried Ω

      More likely the Trump Foundation.

      • Very Stable Bozi

        So it will be tax deductible.

    • wavicles

      ‘Eric, I’ll need to charge you a larger rental for that charity thing scam you got runnin’. Daddy’s got stuff goin’ on.”

  • Red Bird

    Daddy issues.

  • Raan
    • rubikcube

      Exactamundo.

    • Phried Ω

      Is that the condo key around her neck in the Zimbio picture?

  • Rooster Cogburn105
    • Phried Ω

      Ain’t no sun up in that sky.

      • Dinz6315

        Ain’t no sunshine ’til he’s gone….

        • Phried Ω

          A medley.

        • HooverVilles

          Nice.

  • Bub the very stable zombie
    • JustDon’tSayShithole

      Didn’t we know that already?

  • rocktonsam

    If true , this is quite shocking.

  • John Iwaniszek

    you mean “Stormy Daniels” isn’t her real name?

  • bubba
  • The really weird thing is that Daniels mulled a senate campaign against David Vitter a few years back.

    • James

      Until someone blew up her campaign manager’s car, which scared her out of the race.

  • bluicebank

    The most disturbing thing here is why it couldn’t have instead been Wendy from “Breaking Bad” to deliver a Mickey Fine burger to the burger-munching Vulgarian.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c427622eb0468f6d233c07b2cba15b0bd24d56a973b41d86889ea518ab5178bf.jpg

  • nightmoth

    Trump made a gross pass at a People Magazine reporter while Melania was pregnant and in a different room of the house at the same time Trump was being interviewed. The reporter talked about it during the campaign last fall, but nobody cared. Why do we think anybody will care about a big payout to a porn actress?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Speaking of which, where was Harvey Weinstein when we needed him?

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Trump made a gross pass at a People Magazine reporter sexually harassed a People Magazine reporter fify yw

    • cmd resistor

      Her story was particularly compelling and detailed, and also largely ignored. I think Trump made some comment about her being too ugly for him to make a pass at.

  • weejee
    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Oh, god! I will never be able to listen to Spinal Tap again.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Fuck those are lacy granny panites……what a freak.

  • canes_pugnaces

    I have had a good Saturday teaching my 11th grader about the office of presidency. Things to talk about:

    Pee Hookers
    Sexual Assault
    Treason
    Shitholes
    Pussy Grabbing
    Hookers
    Blackmail
    Bribery

    Thanks to all the Trump supporters for the valuable lesson.

    • wavicles

      Like School House Rock, but for adults;
      ‘I’m Just a Subpeona’
      ‘My Hero, Zero Tolerance’
      ‘I Got Six, Years’
      ‘Injunction Junction’
      ‘Sufferin’ Still, Since Suffrage’
      ‘Three Ring Government’ (same title, very different analogy)
      and
      ‘No More Kings’ (the same classic, for old times sake)

      • Lordpnut

        Damn you! Now I can’t stop. My wife just gave me the side-eye and asked ” so what IS your malfunction? “

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I have been wondering for some time where Trump is finding sexual partners in the White House. Melania wasn’t living there for the first 5 months, they have separate bedrooms, and he can’t possibly be abstaining. It would be irresponsible not to speculate, but nobody has leaked anything about it.

    • SadDemInTex

      I was going to say he’s probably impotent at this point but then I remembered he could get Viagra. On the other hand he looks like his heart would explode if he took Viagra…so just Ewwwwww for making me think about this

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I have no doubt he has been taking Viagra for years and years.

        Sorry for the Ewwww factor, but I read many times that JFK was always fooling around in the White House, primarily with members of the secretarial staff, and everyone knew it including Jackie and the Secret Service and numerous journalists, but nobody said anything about it. But those were different times.

        • Damian L

          I’m pretty sure he’s been taking orange not blue pills.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          They had him on Corticosteroids for his Addisons disease which help increase his sex drive. https://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,393754,00.html

          • HooverVilles

            Didn’t know this. Thanks for the info!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            It explains much that was not common knowledge at the time.

    • chiefkurtz

      I hear there’s a cute analyst who’s from Manhattan, but whose ‘people’ are from Korea. I’m sure he’ll move on her like a bitch.

      • PubOption

        Doesn’t seem his type.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I don’t know… think of his age, weight, diet, and health…

      • Mehmeisterjr

        You don’t pay for a Big Mac to eat it. You pay for it to go away.

        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Trouble is, they tend to stick around…

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I agree. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t think about it, or harass women as a power play, or because he can, or try to get them to perform…I can’t go on.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        One word … Viagra.

        • Bill Diaz

          Viagra can help, but it isnt magic…

          Have a great day!

    • wavicles

      I think it probably just leaks out of him.
      swidt?

    • Sunhead

      Give Dampnut is Viagra and a sleeping pill and he would never know.
      https://www.realdoll.com/
      Pity the intern that has to do the cleanup in the morning.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I saw a documentary on some cable channel about men who are obsessed with real dolls. One guy had TWELVE of them (and they cost several thousand dollars each), each one custom designed to look like a unique woman, and he had a couple in every room of his house, posed to look like they were eating dinner with him, watching TV with him, sleeping with him, etc. He said they were better than real women because he didn’t have to talk to them, which he admitted he was no good at doing with real women. I suppose this is a good thing, because if he can afford them and they make him happy, then who am I to criticize?

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          See “Lars and the Real Girl”

        • Bill Diaz

          That is so sad and pathetic. Honestly, I feel bad for that guy. The whole point of a relationship with a woman (for me) is the person you talk to, your best friend. The sex almost seems incidental compared to having someone to hug, someone who ‘has your back’ and is willing to live with you as a fact of their life.

          The idea of a sex doll is repugnant to me. Anything it could do for me would be better served being done manually.

          Have a great day!

        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Have to support your thought, and disagree with Bill. I’d likely not be interested in a sex doll, but as a companion for a man who, for whatever reason, is socially handicapped to the point of feeling a doll preferable to an actual woman, I can’t criticize the choice, nor pity him. Conscious and aware-of-self is a good thing to be.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I agree. I always use as a general rule-of-thumb the question “Is any living thing being hurt by this person’s actions?” In this case, I don’t see anyone being harmed, as long as the man can afford his hobby without risking losing his home or his livelihood or going to jail, and it is giving him what he considers to be satisfactory companionship, which makes him happy. It’s odd, but it’s a much better solution than some others he could choose, and nobody gets hurt. Some people buy expensive cars or expensive jewelry or expensive clothes, which they don’t absolutely need but which makes them happy, and this man buys expensive dolls, which makes him happy. It’s win/win.

            Me, I buy second-hand books. There are a surprising number of people who think that reading books is a total waste of time and money.

  • Squeegee

    QUESTION: WHAT DOES MELANIA CONSIDER SAFE SEX???
    ANSWER: WHEN THE DONALD IS DOWN IN D.C.

  • Squeegee

    DONALD TO STORMY: YEAH BABY!!!!

    STORMY TO DONALD: IS IT IN YET? I DONT FEEL ANYTHING!!! WHAT A SECOND– IS THAT YOUR PINKY FINGER?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    She tells me, ‘All I’m going to say is: I ended up with Donald in his hotel room. Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty-whities…’

    This woman should be punished for creating this image in the heads of millions. The Clorax folks will be rolling in cash.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    However much she was paid, it wasn’t enough. EW…

  • Paperless Tiger

    Depravity and corruption used to set off alarms. With Trump, it’s business as usual.

  • susan_g

    Melania is going to see this as her get-out-of-jail card. After she hires a top divorce legal team to dig into this, cheeto will completely forget about Mueller.

    • Unstable Genius Roni Raven

      I read an innerwebs rumor long ago that they were going to divorce as soon as the election was over. The papers were drawn up and everything. Then he won.

      Would explain a lot about her demeanor at the inauguration.

      • She knew what she signed up for initially, I think, but I doubt she was ready for this.

        • Nenatopia

          Do you think he actually consulted with her about it? I can’t imagine him doing that.

      • cmd resistor

        So the daughter of a person I work with had a friend from law school who either worked in housekeeping at Trump Tower or knew someone who did who says divorce was going to happen as soon as the election was over.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      It depends on what the Prenup says. if it has a no outside nookie clause for Lil’Donnie then yeah, but given his history I suspect it doesn’t. More likely the hush money was because he gave the actress the clap or because he was so bad at sex that it would burst the bubble of his manliness and cause the base to lose faith. If there were a pool, I would go with the later. In fact I’m guessing she coined the nickname “Two-Pump-Trump”.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I think if it has anything saying Melon has to be faithful, she can leverage that whether it explicitly applies to Donnie or not. And face it, any good lawyer can see Donnie is a wounded animal stretched too thin… What’s he going to do? Have the Russians wack her?

        • Hmm. If she becomes a liability who knows.

          • C4TWOMAN

            “USA president convicted for treason and murder gets life”
            – Newspaper from the future…

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Newly elected Dem Present pardons him because “We need to make a fresh start”
            Republicans in Congress vow to make her a one term president.

          • Janae Bess

            Yeah like the one term thing worked so well with Obama.

        • Gerald Parks

          Uhhhh …yeah!
          THIS mother fucker IS crazy!
          For real!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          My call is that she has been an agent all along. Putin’s girl friend’s BFF and First Lady? That’s convenient!

          If Tsar Vlad sees her as a potential problem….

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Wait…she’s friends with Vlad’s girlfriend.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Wendy Deng, Rupert Murdochs ex. There are pics of Deng and Ivanka vacationing together in Croatia and posing with Vladimir himself.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Wait…Wendy Deng is dating Vlad Putin?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Two pumps? You think that many? It was probably more like “penis pump Trump”. Now that would embarrass him.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        It might also have a time clause, like you have to stick it out for 20 years or no settlement.

      • susan_g

        Pre-nup does not mean spit now. Just the threat of divorce proceedings and related investigations is enough leverage for her while cheeto is prez. It doesn’t have to be a divorce, either, simply new terms of their “agreement” such as, money in a Swiss bank account, never having to be around him, or if on occasion it’s requested, a hefty fee, also to be deposited to that Swiss bank.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          They sleep in separate rooms already, so you know shes counting the days until she can divorce him, and find a hot young guy.

          • Mary Stone

            Or hoping for the brain embolism he’s going to have on the gold-plated crapper while rage-tweeting at 3:00 a.m., Then she can shake the stench of his bedfarts out of her negligees forever.

          • Daniel

            Probably best to just burn them.

    • Gerald Parks

      One can hope!
      Pre-nuptials can be pretty strong “shut the fuck up!” in a marriage of wealthy folks!
      And THIS mother fucker IS crazy!
      For real!

      • Lordpnut

        He’ll settle. Discovery would destroy someone with his vanity.

        • Gerald Parks

          You make a good point!
          Sunlight is NOT his friend!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        She should have thought of this when she signed up for Hello Putin.

        • Gerald Parks

          True THAT!
          No doubt she thinks she can ride it out!

  • CountryClubJihadi

    He does have that smug “freshly fucked face” in the photo. She looks like the nice nurse who just changed Grampy’s bedpan.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I thought of it more as a rich, dirty old man look. And isn’t offering women money to sleep with you illegal every where but certain ranches in Nevada? Or is it just soliciting that’s illegal?

    • Dinz6315

      Depends

  • bettycat

    Who how gross do you have to be to have a porn star refuse to sleep with you for money?

    • Gerald Parks

      Now THAT is something!

    • Bill Diaz

      There is generally a difference between a pr0n star and a prostitute, even though the difference may seem ‘academic’ to most.

      Have a great day!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Trump supporter: “Even if this is true, it was a consensual affair between two adults. What’s the big deal?”
    Answer: “*cough* Bill and Monica *cough.’

    • Gerald Parks

      LOL!
      Good one!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It always infuriates me that Republicans act as though Monica L was Clinton’s victim. She was an adult who said that SHE seduced HIM, not vice versa. She wrote a scathing editorial about Roger AILES, shortly after he died and went to he’ll, yet I’ve never heard her say anything bad about Bill C.

      • littlegreen

        She made the first move and the sex was consensual.

        She was more victimized by Linda Tripp, Ken Starr, et al, but I can’t entirely cross Clinton off the list.

        She was a dumb lovesick kid; he was POTUS for crying out loud and well aware of his charisma.

        He wasn’t terribly respectful of “that woman” once the shit hit the fan. To be fair, there’s not much he could have done to protect her. But he should have known better than to mess with someone that young and emotionally vulnerable.

        He was older, more powerful and experienced, and knew he had enemies. He bears the greater responsibility for her being dragged worse than any blowjobber in history.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I understand what you’re saying, but she was a young woman in her early to mid 20s who had grown up in Beverly Hills. Should we raise the age of consent to 30, since all young women who grow up in urban areas are such delicate flowers?

          I really don’t like this new breed of feminism where woman are always victims. In a lot of ways it’s similar to Evangelical Christians arguments about women being silly fools who can’t make any decisions on our own behalf. She was a grown woman who slept with a married man. Shes not the first, and she wont be the last.

          • littlegreen

            I totally understand what you’re saying.

            I’ve always been a feminist. It shocks me to think otherwise. But this last year I’ve started to wonder if the tent is too small for me. The idea that a female accuser is always right is, to me, as ridiculous as the idea a male accuser is always right. I don’t think it’s a matter of gender. I think it’s a matter of facts.

            I don’t like the female victim schtick anymore than I like the MRA’s chronic self-pity and outrageous gender generalizations. I greatly prefer taking matters on a case-by-case basis.

            I adored Clinton. I probably still do. It’s now a feminist article of faith that he raped Juanita Broderick and I still don’t know what I think. Horndog, yes! But violent toward women?

            I don’t adore Monica, but can’t escape the sense Bill had the greater responsibility and she paid the greater price. She was 24. Technically, an adult. But I now have daughters her age. Highly competent, career-minded daughters who (knock wood) would never jeopardize their achievements by taking the risk Monica took.

            That’s because they’re centered and she was a fool. Lots of 24 yo are lost and foolish (and in need of supervision). Male and female: it’s not a gender issue.

            Does that mean we should raise the age of majority?I don’t know. But it’s true I now see the Clinton scandal through a parent’s eyes and have a greater view of the maturity/judgment variations in young adults.

            From that, I conclude the POTUS, a born people person, an observant man, should have known what Monica couldn’t know: that she was romantic goofball, a kid in a woman’s body feigning a sophistication she didn’t possess. It wasn’t a level playing field. He bears greater moral responsibility.

            I could be wrong.

          • Cornelius Fussbudget

            I think the power imbalance was too great for the relationship to pass all tests of consentuality. In a company, you’re usually supposed to report relationships to management. But who is the President supposed to report to? Maybe a rule of sexual harrament we haven’t figured out yet, is that CEOs and presidents can’t ever have safe affairs with coworkers. So in the fact that the affair happened, I think Clinton deservses the blame.

            However, for handling the aftermath, I give Clinton the props. I contend Bill was impeached because he was trying to protect Monica. If he had told the truth that day under oath, he would have contradicted Monica’s earlier statements. Of course Bill was protecting himself also too, but it was Monica who broke the pact.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’m sure he was also trying to protect Hillary.

            I loved that when Ailes bought the farm, and went straight to hell, Monica wrote an op-ed in WaPo, where she basically called him a POS, who built his shitty TV station by ruining her life. She didn’t hold back.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I like you, let’s be friends.

            I agree with everything you said, except that I think they were equally to blame. She initiated it, but he was married, and older. I can sympathize with them both. It was a fun, sexy adventure, that nobody was ever supposed to know about, and then Linda Tripp decided to be a typical, back stabbing Republican bitch, and throw her pretend friend to the wolves. I really blame her and Roger Ailes for the whole debacle, because it was never meant for public consumption. Monica wrote a scathing op-ed when Ailes shuffled off this mortal coil to go meet Satan.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I know what you mean I have seen them lie about her age to make it seem worse. She and her mom enjoyed sex and the whole seduction game, one upping each other as to who could sex the most famous man. Women in charge of their own sexuality. Not victims.

    • HooverVilles

      -SACTLY

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Tighty whities? Who the hell wear those anymore? Gawd, those would just accentuate his fat gut……and how did she find that small dick covered over by those fat folds? That dick isa like being in an over of sweat and funk………sorry to ruin your dinner

    • Lordpnut

      Re:tighty whiteys
      O’Bummer could pull it off. And slam-dunk a basketball.

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      i like briefs, so there. not Grandpa Gropenfuhrer’s though.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        Meanwhile, a pair of 1938 Hitler boxers just sold at auction.

        Say what you will about the genocide, at least Adolf wore the right drawers.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      She didn’t tell her friend she slept with him either, so I’m wondering if she found him too repulsive to bang?

      • torturedsoul

        She’s a porn actress for Christ’s sake.She’ll bang anything with a pulse and a fat wallet.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Not necessarily! Her friend, who was also a porn actress wanted nothing to do with Trump.

  • SKruetheratbassedarDs

    Had enough yet, uberpious faux Christians? This is your moral standard bearer, laid bare again, after he’s again expressed his real thoughts about the world in front of a gathering of elected representatives of both parties. Oh, and F**k you, Senators Cotton and Perdue, for spewing on the last shred of dignity by trying to preserve your neutrality with your sad and incredulous “I don’t recalls.” Neither of you have any sense of decency.

    • Miles Monroe

      Wait–“laid bare”?! Thought it said he was still in his skivvies … ?

    • Tony Prost

      They still love him. They all wish they could fuck a porn star when their wives are somewhere else.

      • Me not sure

        Their wives just wish they WERE somewhere else.

      • james crubb

        That’s the problem also the shithole thing, they agree with him

    • BMW

      Given how the Republican Jesus community is willing to overlook some people’s indiscretions, but not others’, the rule seems to be: “God forgives us…but not you.”

    • Blackest Noobs

      did they ever? Cotton for sure doesn’t have any.

      • Bill Diaz

        That is a disappointment to me(sort of). I am a veteran and used to be chaplain of my chapter of the VFW, until shortly after Donald Trump won the presidency.

        My expectation of ‘commitment’ and honesty tends to be higher for vets, like Tom Cotton, but after Trump’s election, I heard things from my fellow members (this is in Vermont, mind you) that I would and will not tolerate.

        You can be a vet, go to Harvard for law school and still end up being an ignorant, selfish, evil asshat.

        Tom Cotton is my proof of that statement, followed by Greitens of Missouri and Zinke (Sec of the Interior). Thank Zod for Tammy Duckworth, child of a service person and an immigrant, for keeping any faith I have alive.

        Not all vets in government service are going to become a Carter, a Kerry or a Kerrey, but it was a sad lesson to learn.

        Have a great day!

        • Empress of the Iguana People

          Aye. Grant, bless him, -sucked- at being president.

        • leslie

          geitans is a replicant

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Hey, I’m happy to see you are still around. Things didn’t sound so great last time y ou posted.

          • HooverVilles

            Second your comment.

    • Squeegee

      Conservative Republicans recognize that Trump is just a device to push through their ultraconservative agenda destroying the social security net in this country

    • HooverVilles

      THIS!

  • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Im hoping for a Stormy Daniels/Donald Trump sex tape, so I can get a jump on my diet. The constant vomiting for a week should help.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I cannot make up my mind about this important issue until I hear the views of Trump publicist John Barron.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Isn’t he underaged?

  • IdiotsforPalin

    I guess the Evangelicals are cools with extra martial affairs, paying hookers to be silent. Calling other countries “shit holes”. Having dozens of women accuse the Orange Anus of sexual assault. Lying on a daily basis. See you’ve witnessed this for months now….so how is it so far fetched that this asshole paid hookers to pee on a bed in Russia, where Obama slept.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      The entire world knows he did

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I believe the pew hooker story, but I think Vlad paid for the hookers.

  • leslie

    not just her..in fire and fury book…it s a y s his lawyer aid off 100 women…before campaign….not sure what pg…but i saw a screenshot of that …….

  • Courser_Resistance

    There’s a groping victim too, who said that Trump trapped her in corner and forcibly kissed her while Melania was pg.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I remember her. I think she was a writer for People magazine.

      I suspect Melania hates his guts, and stopped banging Trump years ago.

      • Courser_Resistance

        He really is the human incarnation of Jabba the Hutt

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Some times you can get past a person’s unattractivenes, if they have a charming personality. Oh, right, we’re talking about Trump. Never mind.

        • Kateaux

          Jabba libelz (Jabba was not a complete idiot).

        • Mary Stone

          He’s just Jabba the Hutt. Not human at all. He’s a black hole in a rapidly disintegrating meat suit.

      • theblackdog

        I wouldn’t be surprised if they had an agreement and since she produced a kid, now she can have all the side-pieces she wants. Maybe that’s why she looks so miserable, it’s impossible for her to get her bang on while stuck being First Lady.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I can’t imagine Mr. Fragile Ego would allow that. I suspect the agreement is that he can bang anyone he wants, and she only has to screw him once a month, and he has to wear a condom.

      • cmd resistor

        That People writer’s story was very convincing and corroborated by lots of people who she told about it when it happened, including her editor, who told her probably no use in accusing him because Trump but did take her off the assignment to ever have to cover him again.

      • If she ever has, they have never released the prenup. They should.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Any other president would be finished by these allegations, which I believe to be 100% true, with one small exception. I don’t believe this cheap fuck would pay anyone $10,000 for sex. Of course he might have offered her 10k, and then complained about the sex and offered to settle for $100, just like he does with all his contract labor.

    • any other president would have been finished by every fucking thing he’s done since…forever.

      he just keeps going.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He’s like an evil Energizer bunny – he can’t be stopped.

        • thixotropic jerk

          !Heb! Libelz!

      • james crubb

        He is undead

    • Mary Stone

      It came out because he didn’t pay up per the agreed upon schedule. Up to his old tricks as usual.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ha Ha! Once again, I’m not surprised.

  • theblackdog

    I have to agree with the underlying concern with this story and it is that he is prone to being blackmailed. It just adds to the hypothesis that he’s compromised by either the Kremlin or the Russian Mob.

    • dshwa

      Or both. Although that Ven diagram has significant overlap.

    • Mary Stone

      At this point, I’d say it’s less a hypothesis than a theorem.

  • Squeegee

    THIS PROVES MY THEORY (WHICH SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE)
    Men who are complete germaphobes like Trump are always trying to compensate for some other indiscretion in their lives like unlimited sex with prostitutes and other people where they quite frankly have a direct risk of STDs and other maladies

    • covfefesumgame0005

      his personal Viet Nam, minus all the courage and dying stuff

      • ken_kukec

        Yeah, running with a porn star is the Donald’s version of waking up in a PTSD flashback of fighting Charlie in the jungle.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        Did he not watch his second dad die from AIDS related complications?

  • Pat_Pending

    He just gets grossed out by the combination of egg and babby batter forming babby ‘up in there’.

    Also, he’s afraid that after babby is born that banging will feel like he’s throwing his little dick out an open window.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’ve asked this before, but it keeps puzzling me…

    Why is every woman who ever appeared in a fuck film a porn “star”? Doesn’t porn have journeyman actresses, extras, bit part players, etc.?

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      It’s one of those tired tropes like “Super Model”. So overused when it is used to describe everyone in that line of work.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I loved when Don Lemon said “uhhh, Melania Trump was not a sdupermodel, no one had ever heard of her until she married Donald Trump.” Thank you, DL, i had been saying the same thing all year.

        • YoBunnyBunny
        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Yes, the interview with Melania in GQ should be mandatory reading. https://www.gq.com/story/melania-trump-gq-interview

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            She was quite pretty when she was 30. I love that she claims to not have had any plastic surgery. Bitch, please!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            This former plastic surgeons first assistant says “WHAT!”

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            The ones that partake the most always lie about it. I don’t know why. It is a status symbol in some circles.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I dont know either. Who cares if you want bigger boobs?

          • jodyleek

            I don’t fault her for the bigger boobs. At least they are mostly an appropriate size for her frame. It’s that horrible eye job/facelift. Her eyes are pulled back so hard she looks like a space alien.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I find that look a bit odd, too.

            Before now, I’ve never seen her when she was 30, and in her natural state, and she was quite pretty.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            More power to you if it makes you happy. But do your homework and get a board-certified plastic surgeon. Too many women get duped by the cheaper dr’s. and wind up with what look like softballs up near their armpits.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            A friend was rushed to the hospital on NYE with swollen extremities and severe pain. His knee had to be operated on immediately. When we were talking the other day he was doped up on Vicodin, and suddenly realized that maybe it wasn’t the food he ate in Mexico, but maybe the Botox he got in Mexico. You’ll love this – he’s a nurse. I asked him what he was thinking. Deep.

            I always knew Melania’s boobs were fake, not because it was a bad boob job, but because it’s very rare for someone to be 5’11”, thin, AND to have naturally large boobs. Unicorns are more common.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Your friend is more trusting than I. My adopted brother had his teeth capped in Mexico, and he is the paranoid type. Algodones exists for this reason.
            Considering breasts are mostly fat I have to say they are way prettier on the outside, (but I still love boobs) You are dead on the money with that observation. Usually the off look is because they get overfilled for their frame. Breast augmentations are like diamonds, for some, never large enough.

        • rubikcube

          Oooh, Lemon is such a bitch.

    • there are no small parts. only small actors.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And small hands. ETA: re Trump

      • Mary Stone

        Trump has small parts, “believe me.”

    • They all have “bit” parts.

    • handyhippie65

      they’re called fluffers. can’t imagine why…

      • Hesavebread!

        Fluffing is a lost industry since viagra was invented.

  • roberteye

    Ok. Wow. Of course it’s a pornstar, while idiotic illegal wife is pregnant… NOW Trump should actually try out his “shooting someone on 5th avenue” meme to see if he still has his “base” with him. I mean, what else does he have left to prove? (Using a gun loaded with votes of course). They are still with him on “shithole”, so porn girl won’t matter. Jesus in the just the last couple of weeks, it’s breathtaking how the malevolent “character” of this incompetent sociopathic fascist racist chaos whore has been revealed in technicolor and 3D / IMAX starting with that Wolff book, and the Fusion GPS dox, etc. PS IF you want a good cry, watch the Letterman interview of President Obama (with bonus footage) on the new Netflix series.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I can barely stand to see the Obamas anymore becasuse it makes me so despondent.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Chaos whore” is the perfect description of Trump

    • phoenix00

      The gun nuts will cheer at him shooting someone on 5th Ave. Especially a “liberal.”

      And yes, My Next Guest Needs No Introduction is wonderful.

  • huh. so here we are again. the way it was for decades. before the important shit started. sleaze ball real estate dude needing to bolster his ego by banging every pretty woman he could lay hands on. for a price.

    now of course the price is this fucking country.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Pee hookers, pee hookers, pee hookers.

    • Mary Stone

      Russian pee hookers would be a balletic exercise in decorum at this point.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    I wonder how Mother Pence is handling all of this wonderful news.

  • andyshelt

    She tells me, ‘All I’m going to say is: I ended up with Donald in his hotel room. Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty-whities…’

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/316450598bd30e49426967058d302d5474c7755db1d658a4854dc6801f072e6b.jpg

  • Herewegoagain

    As it turns out it has become an expensive ‘banging ‘ for 13K what a dumbass , just let off steam … But he also offers an important lesson for American voters :don’t elect an incompetent lunatic as president!

    • PubOption

      I thought it was 130K.

  • mt2099

    What’s all this fuss I’m hearing about presidential erections?

    • Vacuous Virgina

      Never mind 😎😎😎

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Emily Litella libulz.

        • Vacuous Virgina

          No … homage!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yes, true.

          • Vacuous Virgina

            That’s so funny I forgot to lafffff 😂😂😂

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Good times. I came in stoned one night and my mom was watching SNL in 1978, so Gilda Radner is smoking a joint with Jane Curtain and they are going on about puffy dust balls. My mother said to me “Oh, so that’s what you get out of it.”

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Or, y’know, lack thereof

  • Squeegee

    THIS is why Vice President Pence has limited himself to playing footsie and giving blow jobs in the men’s room at Union Station in Washington DC since his appointment as Vice President…it is of utmost importance to maintain your anonymity when having mind blowing gay sex as a political figure

    Porn stars and escorts are out of the question!!!

    • I guess he and Iwankalot won’t be having dinners alone in SK during the OHLimpDicks, hunh?

  • guppy06

    According to the reports, Trump met Stormy Daniels

    I honestly had to go and check if that was the same woman Anthony Weiner’s penultimate sexting scandal was with.

    (It isn’t; that was “Sydney Leathers.”)

    • I thought that was a place in Australia that sells chaps.

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        Nah. They ride rough outback.

  • james crubb

    Who can I sue for linking Trump to sex, sucked in to all those people who have sexxy time, bet they wish they had my monkish life, winning!

  • ken_kukec

    “Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty-whities …”

    Lordy, I hope there aren’t tapes.

    • Sharon Cooper

      Pass the brain-bleach, please.

  • Guest Liberal
    • Walter Wellstone

      Priceless.

    • handyhippie65

      first good use for a chihuahua i have ever seen.

    • Khavrinen

      Chihuahua libelz!!!!

  • onedollarjuana

    What I don’t get is why guys get excited about the very women (hookers and porn stars ) that are probably the least likely to want to bang them. And have almost certainly seen better.

    • Walter Wellstone

      I think that’s part of it—having what you can’t have—and also the need to brag about having done it with a porn star because, in theory, they’re the absolute best in bed.

    • The brain is easy to fool. Masturbatory fantasy is just the brain fooling itself into believing it is having sex. Porn stars just give more specific detail to that fantasy than the average man has of his spouse’s or teen’s best friend. Hookers extend that fantasy just a bit further since there is a real person there. Now, the brain only has to fool itself into believing that the person actually cares. Amazingly easy and affordable.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Poor sex workers, they earn every penny.

  • Herewegoagain

    Donny bend like a banana…, and Donny to be honest ? , no chance with Donny – Wouldn’t Know Where To Begin …He stinks and made it blindingly obvious that he was dishonest, and a pathological liar and its in his genes.

  • What’s the over and under on the prenup including artificial insemination and minimal touching…

  • Sharon Cooper

    I’m amazed anyone can see him naked and not either asphyxiate from laughter or start projectile vomiting.

    • handyhippie65

      the same way i can spend a day shoveling goat shit out of the barn at work. you just try to ignore what you’re doing, and get it done as soon as possible. and take a long hot shower when you get home.

  • george lastrapes

    He told Mnuchin not to marry,that it would be cheaper to rent, this barely used blonde would be happy to sign a contract……………

  • Unsaintific

    “Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty-whities…”

    F**k No.

    P.S: Pence, I hope you’re proud.

    • HooverVilles

      And Ryan, McCain, Graham, and … .
      I hope they are all “proud”.

      • jodyleek

        But it’s so much fun dancing around the golden calf. Weeeee!

        • HooverVilles

          Exactly! Worshipers of mammon.

  • Interestingly, the porn hooker is more credible than the president of the United States.

    • rg9rts

      they have a better track record at speaking truthfully than the FM does

    • ContextIsKey

      You know, if you tell people you’re a porn star who hung out with Donald Trump, anything else you say is going to be believed, because NO ONE is going to lie about being a porn start who hung out with Donald Trump.

  • phoenix00

    Now where on earth are those other hookers. You know, the ones that peed. In Russia. Caught on tape. Again ALLEGEDLY.

    • handyhippie65

      tied up in puties basement?

      • phoenix00

        Not outside the realm of possiblity

        • TundraGrifter

          Unfortunately, I would agree with you.

  • rg9rts

    Which one?? Mr. teeny weenie has another one that came out of the woodwork….I wonder how the professionals rated his performance or lack of it

  • littlegreen

    Tighty whities? How plebeian.

    Any day we’ll be hearing about his gold-threaded boxers.

    • TundraGrifter

      “Boxers or briefs?”

      “Depends.”

  • crabbychic

    Does anyone else think he’s not wearing his teeth in that picture?

  • Connor

    I feel like “banging” is a more active verb than required, to describe that.
    Not trying to cause any mental pictures, sorry.

    • TundraGrifter

      You just know she had to go full cowgirl on him.

  • TundraGrifter

    It was a white and Stormy night. Or afternoon.

  • TundraGrifter

    Doesn’t “former” porn star seem a bit harsh? I thought these days everything on the Internets lives forever.

    • NationalGalleryofClipArt

      November Rain Principle.

      • TundraGrifter

        I remember seeing her in “November Does Denver.”

        Wow!

        • NationalGalleryofClipArt

          Almost as good as the epic “12 Mouths in a Year”.

  • NationalGalleryofClipArt

    & this was the woman we were going to entrust to defeat David Vitter. Shame!

    • TundraGrifter

      She is a survivor. She’s already faced a stiff opponent.

  • Cat Angel
    • TundraGrifter

      She certainly looks like Mr. Trump’s type.

  • Not surprised. He finds pregnant women disgusting. Didn’t he cheat on Ivanka when she was preggers, and then dump Tiff’s mom after birth pretty quick also?

    • lovelydestruction

      Ivana, you mean? or maybe not…he might have

  • crawff

    My guess is that Frump has not been able to get that micro penis hard enough for some time. Hence the invitation to the friend so he could watch and wack that pathetic limp dick.

  • norcalOG

    Sorry, but I’m still trying to cool down after googling “Stormy Daniels.”

  • Kooolest G

    I call bullshit on this story. Since when has trump ever not wanted people to know he was having sex with super hot women, hell he even called up the tabloids to pretend like he had sex with Carla bruni, when he didn’t. I have a feeling he never had sex with her but made her a deal that he would pretend he did have sex with her and she wouldn’t deny it. For her at least 10% of us just googled her name which translates to $ for a washed up porn star. For him it makes his limp dicked base of almost all men high five each other and wish they could be him. Also makes at least some of the news not about the fact that he’s a racist Russian puppet. Sounds like a win win, and he didn’t even have to spend the $130k

  • Rick Gardner

    He wasn’t banging her, she was peeing on him.

  • Leftflank

    Sexual predator and pervert are way down the list of disgusting attributes that apply to the Womanizer in Chief.
    Dude lusts for his own daughter ffs.

    This is totally wrong, but maybe we could all pitch in for a North Korean hooker to satisfy his deviant ways and stop nuclear Armageddon.

  • SDGeoff3

    I was hoping this story would get some traction over the weekend. I was wrong. Again.

    • Ducksworthy

      No traction to anything. Too much grease.

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