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Seriously. Just stop fucking around already.

You may have seen headlines saying that the Congressional Budget Office has suddenly discovered that the federal government could save a bundle by reauthorizing the Children’s Health Insurance Program for 10 years instead of just five years and isn’t that GREAT? And while it would indeed be a terrific thing to fund CHIP for 10 years, placing its next expiration date well past the end of a possible second Trump term, the savings the CBO is talking about are a very relative thing, as Talking Points Memo explains:

Extending CHIP for 10 years would save a total of $6 billion, CBO staffers said. The internal estimate comes just a few days after the agency reported publicly that it had slashed its estimate of how much it would cost the government to renew CHIP for five years—from $8 billion to around $800 million—following Republicans’ move to repeal the individual mandate as part of a tax overhaul […]

Essentially, killing the mandate dramatically raises premiums in Obamacare’s individual market, which is where millions of low-income families currently enrolled in CHIP would have to turn were the program to disappear. The higher those premiums go, the more the government has to pay in subsidies. So by raising the cost of not renewing CHIP, Republicans have dramatically lowered the cost of reauthorizing it.

In other words, the savings are completely relative to what the government would have to pay if they let CHIP funding expire altogether. Subsidies for marketplace plans would cost the government far more than the whole CHIP program, which currently covers about 9 million kids (and around 370,000 pregnant women). So CHIP itself hasn’t miraculously gotten any cheaper, but the cost of doing nothing just went WAY higher. That seems like a worthwhile incentive, but this is a government that thinks increasing the costs of administering Medicaid is worth it if they can screw some poor people.

Back at the end of September, for the first time since the once-bipartisan program was created during the Clinton administration, Congress didn’t bother reauthorizing CHIP, because Republicans were busy trying to kill Obamacare, and then busy passing a tax cut for the rich. The temporary spending bill passed in December was supposed to keep CHIP going for another six months, but the money may not actually last that long.

Brookings Center for Health Policy economist Matthew Fiedler explained that the “lower” cost of a 10-year CHIP extension isn’t really anything to cheer about, since even if CHIP is renewed, the net result is that the increased costs of ACA plans will leave many parents without coverage:

“If you think about a world with no CHIP, a lot of families would still want to have their kids covered, so they would look for private insurance in the individual market,” he explained. “There, once you’ve covered your kids, it’s basically free to cover yourself on the same policy, because of how the premium tax credits work. But if CHIP comes back, the parent is the only one to remain on the policy, facing a cost for the coverage. Without the mandate, more parents are likely to drop their insurance than CBO used to think.”

The relatively lower cost of fully funding CHIP isn’t so much a silver lining as it is a shit sandwich with slightly less shit in it. And no, HuffPo, this really is NOT “good news,” except in the way that a plane crash only killing some of the passengers is “good news.”

This isn’t how good news works.

Still, since the cost of doing nothing at all is now much higher thanks to the tax cut bill, that may at least be the stick needed to get Republicans to vote to reauthorize CHIP sooner than later. Shit, if it gets CHIP funded, we can even let the lying fucks claim they kept some planes from crashing.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to help us stay mostly sober.

[TPM / HuffPost]

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  • Villago Delenda Est

    It’s like nothing at all that happens after the current fiscal quarter is of interest to any GOP person.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      No, it’s that nothing at all that happens after they’re re-elected is of any interest.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    They should use dynamic scoring. Assume families with healthy kids can earn more and generate more tax revenue.

  • Everything they touch turns to shit.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    Silly Dok. It’s not about the costs, it’s about being as dickish as possible to poor people. That’s the real MAGA.

    • Popillius

      Yep. It’s all about screwing the blahs and illegals. Bankrupting the government is just an added bonus.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Especially since a lot of those poor people are blah.

  • LiberalANDProud

    “Wouldn’t it be cheaper to just shoot them?”

    “After the midterms, sir.”

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Doesn’t matter. I had one knob tell me CHIP was never supposed to be a federal deal and if states want to pony up the bucks, then states should. But don’t take his money to help some sick kid in Delaware.

    • Christopher Story

      A real American Patriot (TM) right there.

    • Popillius

      They’re all about states rats unless it’s about weed apparently.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Does he have any problems with spending money on wars or to prop up companies?

    • redarmyzombie

      Tell him Somalia’s great this time of year.

    • theblackdog

      I hope he hasn’t produced kids yet.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Next thing you know the little urchins are going to want cookie dough with their free chips.

    • Christopher Story

      If you give a mousy child a CHIP, it’s gonna want to live in a house.
      If you give a mousy child a house to live in, it’s gonna want an education.
      If you give a mousy child an education…

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        It’s gonna realize that you’ve been treating them like shit and revolt?

        • Christopher Story

          I was actually going to post that as the next narrative, but I felt that three instances had a particular symmetry

      • redarmyzombie
  • OrG Unstable Genius

    They don’t have debates like this in Canada, France, Germany, Sweden, Norway, Netherlands,etc. etc. etc…

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      What do you think this is? Civilization? Civilization is for pussies and cucks! This is ‘MURICA!

      • Christopher Story

        Rugged individualism is just code for “Whhhaahh! I don’t wanna have to participate in society!”

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          “I DON’T WANNA SHARE MY STUFF!”

          lolbertarians flunked out of kindergarten…

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          ‘But I want to benefit from it!’

          • Meccalopolis

            And for no one else to get it!

    • Christopher Story

      It’s ironic. The pilgrims fled to escape “religious extremism” and now our government is filled with religious extremists.

      • OrG Unstable Genius

        I was under the impression that the pilgrims fled so they could BE religious extremists.

        • Erala Contratista

          Yup.
          Landed here and began shunning each other.

        • Christopher Story

          It’s only religious extremism when other people are doing it

    • BadKitty904

      You know, the civilized countries…

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Goodbye, Mr CHIP

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This reminds me of that delightful romantic comedy Oliver Twist.

  • BadKitty904
    • redarmyzombie

      Really, if we aren’t allowed to do strange things to cats in the privacy of our own homes, then I don’t know what this world is coming to…

      • MynameisBlarney

        Uh…

        Phrasing!

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        If I tried any of this stuff, I’d end up completely swathed in bandages, like a modern-day mummy.

      • RickyG

        Just don’t SnapCat it, obvs!

    • MynameisBlarney

      HUMAN!
      RELEASE THE TESTICLES!

      https://i.imgur.com/obXLZnc.jpg

      • theblackdog

        That cat would be very justified in peeing in that dude’s bed.

  • Indiepalin

    I thought Mexico was paying for this CHIP program…

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
    • OrG Unstable Genius

      Oh, NOW I get it.

      • Meccalopolis

        Took me a few

    • WIDTAP

      “Stop resisting”

  • Ducksworthy

    Mercers unleash the Kraken.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    OT: Well, would you look at that.

    Wal-Mart issues bonuses (to long-term employees), raises minimum wage, and closes 63 stores, some without notice.

    The announcement came ahead of news that Walmart’s wholesale unit, Sam’s Club, closed several of its members-only stores in order to “better align our locations with our strategy.” In many cases, employees arrived at work only to be told that their store had closed down. Shuttered stores were reported across the country, including four in New York and one in Alaska.

    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      Making America great again!

    • JaveyDay

      Did you know that the Walton Family Spawn cashes out somewhere between $4 to $6 BILLION in cash money in dividend payments and stock buybacks every single year?

      That’s enough money to give every single one of Walmart’s two million employees a $2,800 per year raise.

    • MynameisBlarney

      So…their plan was to open stores every goddamn where, causing locally owned mom&pops stores to go out of business, then start shutting down their own stores?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        #!%%$@&@&^?&!!!!!

      • OneYieldRegular

        They’re just making room for the subsequent fracking operations.

        • MynameisBlarney

          What about the basement tunnels to China, or whatever that batshit Jade Helm conspiracy was?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Must be, since they’ve been doing it that way for decades now.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        They’re just shutting down Sam’s Clubs, AFIK. Near where I live, the nearest Sam’s is in the same mall complex as a “regular” Walmart. Multiple Costco and BJ’s (Sam’s competitors) are within a few miles of the Sam’s, as well as other Walmarts. Point being that probably the closed stores will not be much missed by their neighborhoods; the mom&pops are long gone.

  • JaveyDay

    What a modest proposal.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I’ll believe corporations are people when you can eat them as Soylent Green.

      Or something like that.

      • JaveyDay

        Soylent Greed.

      • jaspersdad

        I’ll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Who knew not being an evil bastard was so complicated?

    • wavicles

      UGH! The Entry Forms alone! You would NOT believe it! And don’t get me started about the lobbyists, those bastards.

  • Nephilim

    I grew up in a working poor family. Both my mother and father worked but we still lived from paycheck to paycheck. Some months we might go without power for a week or so because food was more important than electricity. So working poor need assistance. At minimum wage or low wage jobs, it can still be hard to meet utilities, medical, and emergency expenses. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/441c9356be86cd82ff5af2183e905da144a7fa68124e67b0a89af003140dde14.jpg

    • altleftjohn

      It’s just like undeserving poor to neglect to hire a good tax lawyer.

      • Not to mention a Certified Financial Planner.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    But Newt had a solution that the GOP will adopt. Put those kids to work as janitors.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2011/11/newt-gingrich-thinks-school-children-should-work-as-janitors/248837/

    • Christopher Story

      I saw that debate, and his remarks on that, and his addressing of Juan Williams as just “Juan,” were horrifically seared into my brain. These people really are that depraved and entitled.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Surprised he didn’t say “boy.”

        • Christopher Story

          You know he wanted to

  • WIDTAP
    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Don’t make fun. The F-52 is the most stealthy aircraft the US has ever fielded. They blend in with their surroundings so well that no-one has ever been able to photograph one. Frankly, the $2.75 billion each one has cost is an outright bargain!

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    “Actually, the cat really likes this!!!”

  • Crystalclear12

    Well, if they all die before we do anything how much will that save?
    -compassionate conservative

  • puredog

    OT — Lordy, I hope I’m not coming down with the flu. I feel like Steve Bannon looks.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      If you felt like Steve Bannon looks, I’d skip the doctor and call the priest immediately.

      • JaveyDay

        One that specializes in Exorcism.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I’d go with an exorcist.

        • BadKitty904

          For starters.

      • JaveyDay

        Exercise those demons with this HOT new workout!

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        “The Power of Chris Compels You!”

        • JaveyDay

          “Damn it, Chris. How many times do we have to go over this? YOU ARE NOT THE MESSIAH AND YOU DO NOT HAVE MAGIC POWERS.”

          • theblackdog

            “He is not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!!”

  • DainBramage

    It isn’t about the money, it’s about inflicting their cruelty. They want poor people to get sick and die.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      I don’t understand this strategery, frankly. Most of the poor people they’ll be killing off vote Republican!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        That’s the point. They don’t want anyone to vote anything at all. They want a consolidated dictatorship of, by and for the rich.

      • DainBramage

        The poor are shackled by voter ID laws, the expense and logistics of getting said IDs along with few and less well equipped polling stations. Plus, all the bs of taking people off the voter rolls.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        It’s their last chance. They may not have a majority in Congress or the Presidency for a generation.

    • Covfefe

      There is no witty response to “it isn’t the money, it’s inflicting their cruelty” that I can think of.

      • DainBramage

        Sorry. I guess we’ll have to go with, “All men must die.”

        • capnkrunch

          Valar dohaeris.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Ayn Rand is smiling up at them.

  • Stable Genius Jack

    Are there no workhouses?

    Are there no prisons?

    • Thiazin Red

      When my great-grandmother died, the family doctor offered to buy my newborn great-aunt from her father. That could work as policy. Why not some kind of system of child auctions?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        The asshole revenge porn guy already suggested that.

      • mackafritz, v.s.g.

        Another modest proposal.

      • WIDTAP

        I know a few parents who might not mind putting up an exchange.

        “Can I get a Bradley for three Mikes?”

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          And little Jamal Jefferson, of course, will only be worth 3/5 of Billy-Boy Beauregard. Alabama pricing.

          • WIDTAP

            I don’t know. No returns for the meth-kids.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            The Appalachian meth babies or the overscheduled suburban third-graders hopped up on Ritalin?

        • Querolous

          “How much am I bid for this Chad?”

      • Corporate person adoptions. Welcome to the Wal-mart family. Literally, as in you’re legally ours.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        What a modest proposal!

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    We cant afford CHIP because some assholes blew up the deficit by giving tax cuts to the super rich.

    https://www.vox.com/2017/12/3/16730496/orrin-hatch-chip-tax-bill

    “We’re going to do CHIP; there’s no question about it in my mind. And it’s got to be done the right way,” Hatch said. “But the reason CHIP’s having trouble is because we don’t have money anymore, and to just add more and more spending and more and more spending, and you can look at the rest of the bill for the more and more spending.”

    • Fartknocker

      Fuck that old, rich bastard.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        He is retiring this year to spend more time with his tax cuts, R-Money is going to run for his seat. I just hope they can find someone on the Democratic side to beat him.

        • altleftjohn

          Forget it, Jake. It’s Mormontown.

  • elviouslyqueer

    So CHIP itself hasn’t miraculously gotten any cheaper, but the cost of doing nothing just went WAY higher.

    How’s that whole “Party of Fiscal Responsibility” gig working for ya, GOPers?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Even if they reauthorize it, the rich will still be rich, right?

    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      But not rich enough. They are never rich enough.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      The rich need all the money or they wont work or create any jobs. But if you give the poor anything they wont work or something…

    • BadKitty904

      Rich or richer?

  • Nockular cavity

    Oh, but think of how cute! 9 million tiny caskets would be.

    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      It will put people who need Medicaid to work!

    • OrG Unstable Genius

      I hear mass graves are much more cost effective.

      • Mike Minden

        Don’t laugh. I live near a pioneer cemetary that has an infant section. It’s just a field of bricks with “Baby” carved on them. No names, no dates, no real markers. Just bricks half buried in the dirt. As a father and grand father I find it heart-breaking.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I am buying stock in Bouncing Baby Caskets INC.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      New from the makers of Playschool and Playdoh, it’s Playdead!

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • doktorzoom

      When I knocked a pen off the nightstand last night I thought of this gif and started giggling.

      • Christopher Story

        All hail the king!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    There needs to be a work requirement for these lazy freeloaders.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      You mean Congress, right?

    • JoeChristmas

      Finally have their chance to get rid of those pesky child labor laws, MAGA.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Are there no mini-janitors to clean up the prisons and workhouses?

  • BadKitty904
    • redarmyzombie

      I especially like the ones from the Abortionplex.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Deep fried or baked?

        • redarmyzombie

          Tartar with a side of hummus.

      • Fartknocker

        Our baby back ribs are very tasty and very little fat.

    • Stable Genius Jack

      Are they range free, non GMO babies?

      If not, then no thanks.

      • Mike Minden

        HIPPIE!

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Vegan Babby Buttholes or GTFO.

    • amrak63

      Don’t you mean Mr. Swift?

      • BadKitty904

        Correct.

      • Blackest Noobs

        Sterne was funnier. but Swift was wee more prolific in his writings.

    • Bill Diaz

      Putting the ‘baby’ back in ‘babyback’! When people ask me if I like children, I tell them no more than 45 mins a side with a bourbon glaze, please!

      Have a great day!

      • BadKitty904

        W.C. Field’s response to that question was, “Why, I love children! They’re very good with mustard.

        • H0mer0

          “Children: the snack that smiles back!”
          —-Insanity Wolf

    • Blackest Noobs
  • Someone needs to remind the Regressives that Chips Ahoy are cookies and not a policy strategy.

  • bluicebank

    OT:

    “How robo-call moguls outwitted the government and wrecked the Do Not Call list” — WaPo

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/how-robo-call-moguls-outwitted-the-government-and-completely-wrecked-the-do-not-call-list/2018/01/09/52c769b6-df7a-11e7-bbd0-9dfb2e37492a_story.html

    As suspected, being a dick pays for not only conservative dickheads.

    It remains a mystery to me why the combined heft of legit companies wanting to contact customers haven’t banded together to crush the spam caller mom-and-pop cottage industry, if that’s their real name. Because I long ago stopped answering my phone from unknown peeps. Except for today, because maybe that Seattle number was legit.

    “Hi,” says a voice surprised someone picked up the phone, a voice so Bangalore I could smell the cumin. “I’m calling from …”

    “Fuck you. I know where you’re calling from.” [click]

    Rant over. Whew.

    • altleftjohn

      If you end up answering one of these calls it’s fun to say “hold on a minute” and then just put the phone down.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Or ask them for their home number so you can call them back later during dinner?

        • (My friend answers the phone to an unknown number.)

          Friend: “Hullo.”

          Caller: “Hello, I can see from our records that you were recently involved in a car accident that wasn’t your fault.”

          (My friend doesn’t even own a car.)

          Friend: “Yes, I was, but I died in it. I’m dead now.”

          Caller: “Oh! Um, er… sorry to hear that. I guess we’ll take your number off our database.”

          More of that here:
          http://notalwaysright.com/tag/telemarketing/

  • Stable Genius Jack

    OT: ”

    President Trump grew frustrated with lawmakers Thursday in the Oval
    Office when they floated restoring protections for immigrants from
    Haiti, El Salvador and African countries as part of a bipartisan
    immigration deal, according to two people briefed on the meeting.

    “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?”
    Trump said, according to these people, referring to African countries
    and Haiti. He then suggested that the United States should instead bring
    more people from countries like Norway, whose prime minister he met
    yesterday.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-attacks-protections-for-immigrants-from-shithole-countries-in-oval-office-meeting/2018/01/11/bfc0725c-f711-11e7-91af-31ac729add94_story.html?hpid=hp_no-name_hp-breaking-news%3Apage%2Fbreaking-news-bar&tidr=a_breakingnews&utm_term=.3cb3d99e5270

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Racist fucking piece of shit. Ever think that maybe it’s because the USA turned their countries into “shitholes”? You know damn well he doesn’t want any of the new entrants to Scandinavia either. He wants blond-haired and blue-eyed Nordics. Goddamn fucking craptastic Nazi asshole prick.

      • Stable Genius Jack

        Don’t hold back, now.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          He fucking reminds me so much of my father and his side of the family. I’m not even black but I was too “swarthy” for my grandmother’s liking. Half-Norwegian, the other half Irish. My mother, Portuguese 100%. They treated me like a bastard baby because I’m not blond-haired and blue-eyed like she said “all my ‘real’ grandchildren” are.

          The bitter irony is that they’d have a helluva time in Norway proper today, which prides itself on promoting “globalism” and cultural diversity. Which, oddly enough, makes me more of a modern “Norwegian” than Trump or my father and his deplorable family will ever be.

          Heck, even Ireland has a half-Indian gay PM now.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            As I mentioned already, I used to work for a light-skinned black woman, who, before coming to the company, used to work for a Sicilian who couldn’t shut up about The Blah. What finally shut him up was her bringing up the fact that he was darker than her.

          • Erala Contratista

            Pffffffftttt!
            Sicilians are the blahs of Italy.
            Plus the bottomless source of many a jape.

            Of course, all the “worthy” Italians are Tuscan.
            Or Roman.

          • H0mer0

            “I’m not a Roman! I’m a Jew, a K!#$, a Red Sea Pedestrian!”

          • Erala Contratista

            Hmmmmmm
            Drive a Yom Kippur Clipper?
            Stops on a dime and picks it up?

          • H0mer0

            “I” on the other hand am a little slow in understanding the joke.

          • stablegeniusahughes798

            I’m going to name my new klezmer band the Red Sea Pedestrians.

          • little miss high and mighty

            Ladin (er) libelz!

          • Bill Diaz

            My own grandmother used to refer to me as the ‘N*gger grandchild’. so I know how it feels to be subject to behavior like that from your own family.

            I won in the end though, during my grandfather’s illness with Alzheimer’s, I was the one who was there 3 times a week to take him out, get him some exercise and just talk to him.

            The consequence was that she came to respect me for my commitment to her husband and told me she loved me before she died.

            You cant do anything about other people being shitty to you, all you can do is not let your own soul be poisoned by such people.

            Have a great day!

          • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

            I really wish access to the genealogical records I have access to now was available when my racist grandfather was alive. He’s be stunned that going back always, one of his wife’s ancestors (my grandma’s people) was an English sailor who somehow married a Nepalese woman.

      • Victoria Ricola

        This. Fuck him.

      • Red Bird

        Not maybe, definitely. The pattern is to make these countries “shitholes” until the natives are forced out and then take over. Then it will be an untouched paradise.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • Victoria Ricola

      It is insane on CNN right now. Everyone is throwing the “shithole” word around and Jake Tapper is furious.

      Trump is a racist piece of fuck and the only thing I would describe as a “shithole” is one of his Trump towers.

      • Stable Genius Jack

        It’s the same on MSNBC now too.

        Of course, this doesn’t matter. Obama was the REAL racist, blah, blah, blah.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Speaking of “no racist, no racist, you’re the racist,” did you hear that the POS Googledick James Damoron is filing a class-action lawsuit against Google for “discriminating against white male conservatives”?

          https://techcrunch.com/2018/01/08/james-damore-just-filed-a-class-action-lawsuit-against-google-saying-it-discriminates-against-white-male-conservatives/

          This prick is being mentored by the Canadian douchebro “intellectual” Jordan Peterson, another bigoted broflake who hides behind “free speech” to justify hating on trans people and other marginalized minorities. He hosts a YouTube series where all he does is drone on from philosophy texts to basically call Trudeau a self-flagellating cuck and U of Toronto an “unsafe space” for people like him. Now the Googledick is his latest pet project to take on “SJW feminists” and “black identity activists” trying to reform the tech world.

          “No bigot, no bigot, you’re the bigot.”

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Yeah, they did a story on that here yesterday.

            What a loser POS.

          • mailman27

            “Broflake”?? I like it!

    • Grumpy Twat

      The Scandinavians are probably quite happy to stay just where they are.

      • Stable Genius Jack

        At least THEY have healthcare.

        • Hesavebread!

          Not absolutely free in Norway, but capped at about USD250 per annum once you’re over 16. So yeah, healthcare not just access to healthcare.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Sort of ironic–in an ironic sort of way. If Trump and the Rethugs get their way, The United States of America is going to become The United Shitholes of America.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        More like Untied Shitholes of America. Intentional misspelling.

      • H0mer0

        “…the Untitled Flakes of A merry cow.”

        [“And to the Republicans, for which they scam, one nacho underpants…”]

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      But Donnie! That only works if people from those countries want to come here!

      • Stable Genius Jack

        Before he’s finished, not even Americans will want to live here.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          That’s already well underway, since 9 Nov 2016.

    • Manders

      What a fucking idiot. People don’t come from fucking Norway because fucking Norway is a nice, stable country that takes care of its citizens.

      • Blackest Noobs

        exactly, no one in their right mind is leaving Norway….shit if i could convince the wife to live in a colder climate, our asses would be living in fucking Norway.

        America is a shithole compared to Norway IMHO.

        • handyhippie65

          i’d be willing to bet that’s everyone’s opinion.

        • Hesavebread!

          Preach brother!

      • laineypc

        He has invented new branches of idiocy. Things mere mortals could never imagine that a person could be a moron about.

    • mailman27

      But how would we be able to stem the tide of Norwegian immigrants? And the parrots… what kinds of diseases would they be bringing to our shores?

      • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

        But the Norwegian Blue has such beautiful plumage!

      • stablegeniusahughes798

        Well, if it would help, I can swear fluently in Norwegian.

        • handyhippie65

          swearing in foreign languages always a useful skill.

    • Red Bird

      Well, at least now no one can say lie and say he isn’t trying to make America a white only country any more. The longer he stays in office, the more afraid I am for the lives of anyone who isn’t white in America. If he thinks Norway is great, he should go back to Europe. ;)

    • handyhippie65

      like they would come to this shithole. it would definitely be a bad move on their part. immigrate from one of the most happiest counties on the planet, to one so far down on the list they need binoculars to see it. yea, not gonna happen.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    OT: Miss Lindsey boarded my flight to Phoenix. Walnuts may not be doing well.

    • cmd resistor

      Inside scoop.

    • mailman27

      Walnuts is a kinda 60/40 asshole, IMO. But he served his country waaaayy more than most of the rest of the ruling cadre ever did. Wishing him well!!

    • Me not sure

      If his seat opens up, do you think Kelli Ward and Joe Arpaio will run for different seats? Could we get a wingnut twofer in Arizona?

    • phoenix00

      Delivering him his last rites? In person?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Essentially, killing the mandate dramatically raises premiums in Obamacare’s individual market, which is where millions of low-income families currently enrolled in CHIP would have to turn were the program to disappear

    /FFS

  • theblackdog

    I knew there was some reason those numbers suddenly appeared :-/

    Still, it’s bullshit that CHIP was allowed to expire.

  • Mavenmaven

    “But then how will we wipe out all those dem voters?”

  • Gonna kill kill kill kill kill the poor
    Kill kill kill kill kill the poor
    Kill kill kill kill kill the poor tonight

    — ̶J̶e̶l̶l̶o̶ ̶B̶i̶a̶f̶r̶a̶ GOP

  • mailman27

    Goddamn, I am so lucky to have had health insurance at my job. And I’m so lucky to still have health insurance now that I’m retired. Hear it all the time! Wait a minute. I’m not lucky, I’m FURIOUS!! Why in the world should it be “lucky” to be able to take your children to the doctor? Why should it be “luck” that you’re not bankrupted by a heart attack, or cancer, or a car crash?? In the richest country in the world??? FFS.

    • Me not sure

      The administration’s answer would be “Don’t push your luck, buster.”

    • handyhippie65

      weeeel. that’d be ’cause we’re not the richest country in the world anymore. we’re just a country with some of the richest individuals in it. kinda, mebbe, at least ’till their island paradise is finished, then we’ll just be a country. kinda, mebbe…

  • Shibusa

    Norway? Well I’m sure Anders Behring Breivik would like the NRA very much indeed.

    • phoenix00

      Fits in with the Sandy Hook conspiracy theory crowd too.

  • BearLeft

    But the dead kids’ll be only those irresponsible kids who squandered their money on cell phones, who didn’t have the gumption to ask their daddies for a modest loan of a million dollars to get started, and then declare bankruptcy a few times, as hardworking people do, y’know, so you can’t really waste too much sympathy on ’em. Holy. Living. Fuck. The shamelessness.

  • Begin Anew Day

    First they came for my white hood and robes and I did nothing because, what the fuck, I was tired of cleaning them.

    Then they started to persecute me because I loved lynching black men. They said I had to stop that. So I did stop because the wife said she wouldn’t fuck me no more if I didn’t.

    Then they said I couldn’t rape black women because it was bad. The wife said I had to stop that too. So I did. I didn’t like that but I stopped.

    Then they came back and infringed my freedom of speech and told me “no more raping PERIOD”! Not even teenagers! All raping was bad they said and the mother-in-law said they was right. I may hate my mother in law but I stopped the raping for awhile. It was hard but I was good for awhile. Nowadays I have to sneak around like I was a common criminal if I want to get a little raping done. Is that right?

    Then they came back and said that curb stomping fags was wrong too! The preacher at church said it was a sin. I can’t risk having the preacher toss me out of the church. Them people are the customers at my gas station and garage service. So I stopped hurting fags.

    But no one has told me to stop hating poor folks. Not the wife or the mother in law or the preacher. At least we can agree about one thing!

    Yrs,

    GOP Base

  • handyhippie65

    you know what they say about shit sandwiches, the more bread you have, the less shit you eat. dumpy’s entire presidential term will consist of a pound of pig shit on a triscut for the majority of us. mmmMMMmmm, bacon-y!

  • phoenix00

    Jimmy Kimmel could not be reached for comment, last seen pounding his face into desk.

  • So by raising the cost of not renewing CHIP, Republicans have dramatically lowered the cost of reauthorizing it.

    Sounds complicated!

    Let’s simplify:

    Republicans choked.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bbff11da8685a37892809300c6a839e39b3ecb38021b44b9711b16e58bab5423.jpg

    • little miss high and mighty

      Nobody ever goes to the stadiums anymore- they’re too crowded.

  • So let me get this right….
    Killing the mandate is raising premiums so now the government can save money by getting kids coverage under CHIP because they forced the cost of subsidies to go up?

  • rg9rts

    Kids don’t vote and are a burden on the productive members of the gopee

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