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Governor GrossTrash

In 2015, Missouri Governor Eric Greitens transformed himself from a Democrat into a Republican, explaining in a July 2015 Fox News column the myriad and bullshit reasons he made the switch.

A few months earlier, in March, Greitens, who is married to a lady named Sheena, had begged and pleaded for the lady who cut his hair, who was also married, to come to his house so he could extramaritally sex her. Don’t know if he had officially turned Republican in his heart at that point, but MAYBE. She said OK fine — you know, because he didn’t want to be seen in public with a woman what was not his wife — and when she got there, Greitens took her down to the basement and got her naked and tied her up to some exercise equipment and then took her picture, so he could blackmail her.

WAIT WHAT?

Yeah, that seems to be what happened. The woman’s now ex-husband (they divorced in 2016) is coming forward now, explaining that he knew this story was going to come out, because law enforcement had come a-calling, and he wanted to get in front of it. The major allegations come from a conversation he had with his now ex-wife, that she didn’t know was being recorded. (Missouri is a one-party consent state, so that is kosher.) The conversation they had was … pretty wow:

Ex-Husband: “Tell me the truth. The truth. Only the truth.
Woman: So, on Saturday morning, before my first client, I did go to his house.
Ex-Husband: For the first time?
Woman: For the first time. Ever. Like I said, nothing, period, had ever happened or taken place until this snowball. This (expletive) tornado just happened. I know I brought this on.”

Once at Greitens’s house, with his wife and children nowhere to be found, this allegedly happened:

Woman: “He said: “I’ll make you feel better. I’ll make you feel good. Come downstairs. I want to show you how to do a proper pull-up. And I knew he was being sexual and I still let him. And he used some sort of tape, I don’t what it was, and taped my hands to these rings and then put a blindfold on me.”

And that was when she saw the trademark flash of a camera, followed by the man who would become governor saying, “you’re never going to mention my name, otherwise there will be pictures of me everywhere.”

Do we still say HE SEEMS NICE now that the #MeToo movement is in full swing, or is that joke played out? Or should we just go with WHAT A GROSS MOTHERFUCKER?

Greitens admits that yes, he did sex a lady what was not his wife, and that he and his wife have worked out that very sad part of their marriage and everything is OK now, the end. He does not admit to tying her up or blackmailing her. From his lawyer:

“The governor has now seen the TV report that ran tonight. The station declined to provide the tape or transcript in advance of running their story, which contained multiple false allegations. The claim that this nearly three-year old story has generated or should generate law enforcement interest is completely false. There was no blackmail and that claim is false. This personal matter has been addressed by the Governor and Mrs. Greitens privately years ago when it happened. The outrageous claims of improper conduct regarding these almost three-year-ago events are false.”

It was THREE YEARS AGO! How can it be true if it was THREE YEARS AGO? Were people even ALIVE THAT LONG AGO?

In a separate statement provided to KMOV Channel 4 in St. Louis, the family asks for thoughts ‘n’ prayers and also too Eric Greitens has gotten forgiveness from his Jesus and from his wife so everybody else please forgive him now.

We’ll start the resignation clock … NOW.

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[KMOV]

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  • jesuswasablack

    But he was a democrat when he committed these sins in 5, 4, 3, 2………………

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Couldn’t the argument be made that he’d already converted to Republicanism in his heart?

  • Mavenmaven

    Wow, that’s f***ed up even for a Republican.

    • Christopher Story

      That we know of…

      • Oblios_Cap

        I doubt that it’s his only “indiscretion”.

  • JohnBull

    I’m sending my thoughts and prayers to this struggling, misunderstood Man of God and of the People, knowing that none of my thoughts and prayers mean shit.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Is Sheena a punk rocker? The ghost of Joey Ramone would like to know.

  • kaydenpat

    He must resign and he should face charges of blackmail and coercion. Disgusting pig.

    • PubOption

      The police are involved, and I don’t think sexytimes involving exercise equipment are illegal.

  • CutterTeam

    I call on gays and lesbians everywhere to apologize for undermining the sanctity of this Good Christian Man’s traditional heterosexual marriage.

    • kaydenpat

      And for forcing him to break his wedding vows. What monsters!!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Next thing you know, they’ll be forcing him to bake them a damn cake. This tyranny must be stopped!

    • armed_bears

      And getting duct tape stickiness on the Bowflex.

    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      Excuse you, I take great pleasure in knowing that merely being a bisexual has brought down this great, great man of God.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Apologize? The fuck are you talking about? I’m trying to figure out how I can claim credit for this and bump up my quarterly bonus!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        What does the Gay Agenda pay these days for each ruined hetero marriage?

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Let me just say that I can give you a really good deal on a toaster oven.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            If you destroy five marriages in one month, do they send you a tote bag?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            And you get the secret username/password to log in and claim your Soros bucks. But maybe I’ve said too much…

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I thought the password was Soros spelled backwards.

            Wait. Did I just say that out loud?

          • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

            I upfist this entire conversation.

          • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

            Pffft. Toaster ovens are so 20th century. Get on my plan and get paid in kleptocurrency.

    • BearGHAZI

      Come on, brah, it was three years ago. And I’ve barely undermined anyone since!

    • Squeegee

      I’m still trying to wrap my head around a Republican sex scandal that doesn’t involve underage boys or girls

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      You’re not the boss of cock-sucking me. Allegedly.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        At least not without picking a safe word first.

  • arglebargle

    Maybe if Josh Duggar applies himself, he too could become this disgusting.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’s not far from there now.

      • onedollarjuana

        Keeping his finger to the grindstone.

        • mfp, reciprocally colluding

          yoikes!

  • CutterTeam

    Working title: Three Dildos Outside of Columbia, Missouri.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Jefferson City. Columbia’s the Berkeley of Missouri, but JC is the capitol.

  • jesuswasablack
  • kaydenpat

    Republicans keep bringing up Bill Clinton’s indiscretions even though they date back two decades. What makes them think that their recent behavior is out of bounds?

    Hypocrisy is real.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The station declined to provide the tape or transcript in advance of running their story
    I did not realize this was required before you broke a story about an asshat.

  • Nounverb911

    IOKIYAR?

    • PubOption

      Taping her to exercise equipment seems unusually adventurous for a Repub.

      • Oblios_Cap

        At least we don’t have to worry about Trump doing this. He doesn’t know what exercise equipment looks like.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I think he calls them battery drainers.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, they’re usually pretty vanilla when it comes to sexy times.

        • Covfefe

          And, my Blarney, how would you know about sexy times among Republicans, not that it’s any of our business?

          • MynameisBlarney

            *laughs nervously and loosens collar*

            Because, uh…

            *runs out of room*

        • Old town Urbandale

          It’s proof he was still a Democrat when it happened, so it’s forgiven since he saw the light and became Republican.

  • memzilla Ω

    This comment has been deleted by an administrator for violating so many of the Commenting Rules for Radicals that a hole was actually eaten into the monitor.

  • Christopher Story

    Prediction: this isn’t the only one.

    What’s that quote?
    “Everything is about sex, except sex. Because sex is about power.” Or something like that.
    That sounds like some classic power tripping right there. It wasn’t about getting laid, it was about the power of dominating and humiliating a woman for his gratification.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Had he just read Fitty Shades or something? Or is he just a flaming asshole?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      He certainly seems to have had a method.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Jesus was created by men specifically to forgive men. His forgiveness doesn’t matter when we’re talking about crimes committed against women. When Jesus has a sister, then maybe we’ll talk.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He supposedly had a mother.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        She can’t forgive, just intercede.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I don’t know why I didn’t see that before – the gendered template of family dysfunction since forever.

      • diane surette

        Mary having her “me too” moment?

    • therblig

      he did have a sister, Phyllis Stein, although her name is often misspelled in the old testament.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Has Jesus forgiven him? If so, then everything’s OK.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      It’s kind of surprising all the weird shit Jesus is cool with.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I can’t believe he hasn’t declared that he wants to spend more time with his family yet.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Perhaps his family were quicker off the mark and said ‘No.’

    • I’m sure there are a few aides he hasn’t yet taped to the exercise equipment in his office.

    • Crystalclear12

      For his Governor’s picture he used his family as props.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Sans exercise equipment, I’ll assume.

        • Crystalclear12

          Looks like the picture that came with the frame.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            “It’s a beautiful family, right? It just may or may not be MY family.”

          • Crystalclear12

            Or only family.

  • Nounverb911
  • jesuswasablack
    • coozledad

      Trump’s legal is team bitching about their client’s emails being illegally obtained.

      • jesuswasablack

        Well they know Mueller’s got the goods, they have to discredit the entire probe, it might work?

        • coozledad

          I think Feinstein defanged the “Mueller is out of line” narrative for a couple of weeks of news cycles. The only asshole waving that flag at the moment is Trump.

          You can tell House and Senate Republicans are scared shitless when they shut their yaps suddenly.

  • Arolpin

    Completely OT, but does anyone know who won the Fakies last night? Didn’t Dotard Don move the awards to last night? For some reason I can’t find it on Google News. It must be a conspiracy by the MSM to hide all of Orange Foolius’s accomplishments. FAKE NEWZ!

    • Nounverb911

      They’re next Wednesday.

      • puredog

        I think they’re sometime in the next two weeks.

  • onedollarjuana

    At least David Vitter didn’t get involved with blackmail. Brownmail, maybe.

    • mfp, reciprocally colluding

      juana onna roll…

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I mean, it’s January – you see shiny new exercise equipment and you think “this is the year I make it happen!” Two years later, it’s covered in dust in your basement, and you realize you ought be using it for something

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Dear Penthouse,

    I was just minding my own business, governing a flyover state, when suddenly I looked up and…saw a total scumbag asshole staring right back at me. I broke out in a sweat and so did he! We went on like that for hours, until suddenly, I realized I was looking at a mirror. Since then, I can’t look at a reflective surface without thinking back on that sweaty afternoon.

    Sincerely,
    Hardly Governing, or Governing Hardly

    Dear Hardly,

    We regret that we can’t print your letter. It had a promising start but didn’t go in the direction we were expecting. Please don’t try again

    Sincerely,
    A person with a terrible job at Penthouse

  • coozledad

    Navy Seals. Take a fucked up eighteen year old and put him on course to be a fucked up eighteen year old the rest of his fucking life.

    Also, shades of that creepy ass Henry Hyde bastard, whose flesh should be melting off eternally in hell.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    In 2015, Missouri Governor Eric Greitens transformed himself from a Democrat into a Republican,…

    That involves a spinectomy, right?

    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      A brainectomy.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “What? According to Fifty Shades this is Christian behavior…ladies.”
    — Eric Greitens

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Many would wish he’d hurry up and get to the meeting…

    • coozledad

      You can always tell when the judgement of God has been preemptively rendered. The damned never can tell how much hair product is enough.

    • Mr. White

      And yet they’re oh so good at judging others.

  • Fartknocker

    I didn’t realize that the State motto “The Show Me State” included sexy time in a home gym in a basement. I’ll remember that next time I go to Branson for the Hee-Haw 20 year reunion.

    • coozledad

      You’ve got to be able to use that cheap retail equipment for something.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • PubOption

      Greitens has supposedly installed something on his phone to delete text messages, I don’t know if it removes emails as well.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Does he think it will delete the message on the recipient’s phone too?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          He’s a Republican. Of course he does.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Soon-to-be Senator Greitens.

    • SDGeoff3

      From Missouri? Guaranteed.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Christopher Story

      Seriously. If Franken can get forced out for a bad picture and allegations of inappropriate touching, this guy should already be writing his resignation speech.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I’ll help: “I’m a terrible person who did a terrible thing. I have no business being governor of Missouri anymore, and I resign effective immediately.” There, done. Now he can start packing.

        • therblig

          “I regret that anyone may have taken offense to my actions. I have asked my family and my god for forgiveness. Now, back to fucking the poor.”

        • Christopher Story

          Eloquent in its brevity.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Republicans are required to kick and scream for at least 2 months before resignations.

  • Michael R

    Eric Greitens ran as an anti-corruption, ethic-reform candidate.

    ” During his tenure, Greitens has been criticized for
    his campaign’s refusal to disclose dark money donors “

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I swear, the louder they bleat about “ethics” and “reform” the bigger the thieving crook they turn out to be.

      • Werewolf

        And the louder they bleat about “family values”, the bigger the pervert they turn out to be.

  • goonemeritus

    I knew there must be some reason I keep all those disused pieces of exercise equipment.

    • And now we know some more uses for duct tape!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I didn’t know it could be used for anything other than hanging laundry.

      • Old town Urbandale

        I used to use mine as a coat rack, which is close.

    • coozledad

      Treadmills are an excellent way to keep cases of potato chips off the floor.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Eric Greitens (D-Buffalo Bill)

    NEW Faux Chyron

  • TJ Barke

    More o’ them family values, mmhmm.

  • Crystalclear12

    why do they feel the need to produce evidence?!

    -every lawyer everywhere

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Greitens….Greitens…. That sounds Dutch.
    Tell me, sir, have you ever considered joining the Diplomatic Service and becoming an Ambassador?

  • Baconzgood

    I’m betting he was a Dem when this tying up happened. If he was a R he would have tied her up to a toilet and jerked off while taking pictures. Because mid-western Republicans are classy like that.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • MynameisBlarney

      No, they are proud of their deplorable status.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        You beat me to it.

  • beatbort

    His wife is named Sheena? The punk rocker?
    Isn’t it sad when punk rockers turn Republican.

    • TJ Barke

      The saddest.

    • Indiepalin

      She”s all dressed up for the disco tech a go go

    • Ellie

      I’m so old, that when I read “Sheena,” I think of Irish McCalla.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      I MUST be a Old, cuz I immediately thought of this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dqn01vCQnUs

      • Blanche de Shambles

        I don’t think that necessarily makes you an Old.

        You could be a Manchester United supporter.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        You . . . you monster!!

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          It’s EVAN’s fault for mentioning her name in the first place! He gave the earworm to me, so I just HAD to share it!

      • DrBigHead

        “to find me waiting for him…”

        Tied to exercise equipment? That’s not how I remember the song.

  • Indiepalin

    If Greitens had transformed into a republican a few years earlier, things would have been different, by cracky!

  • Crystalclear12

    Well, he showed us!

  • goonemeritus

    In Eric’s explanation for his breakup with the ideals of the Democratic party he sights “good intensions are not enough. I would counter that it’s hard to forcibly restrain a paramour, take embarrassing pictures to blackmail them and then lie about it with good intensions. Perhaps Eric needs to reconsider and give having good intensions another try.

    • James

      Well, this can’t be true, because you didn’t use the word “cites” correctly. Both sides!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Now, if he wants to tie his naked self to exercise equipment and take pictures, that’s a different story…

    • SDGeoff3

      Yeah, I hate to say it but…

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    The governor has now seen the TV report that ran tonight. The station declined to provide the tape or transcript in advance of running their story

    So this is the new talking point – “If you won’t let me have copies of the evidence in advance, then you’re trying to destroy me.”
    No, they’re not providing you a copy in advance so that you can phony up an alibi.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    OT: I’m not sure if I can take any more of these Republican family values!

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/01/08/kentuckys-republican-house-speaker-resigns-leadership-post.html

    The Republican speaker of Kentucky’s House of Representatives resigned from his leadership position Monday, more than two months after acknowledging he secretly settled a sexual harassment claim and paid to keep it quiet.

    Moments after Jeff Hoover offered Monday to resign — but only if the House would accept — Speaker Pro Tem David Osborne ruled that his resignation had been accepted.

  • Fartknocker
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He’s already doomed then for admitting it and pretending to show remorse. He obviously doesn’t have the crucial “move on her like a bitch” mentality necessary to get to the top in Republican politics.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Tots and pears, goobernor.

  • shivaskeeper

    I could care less one way or the other about the affair. That’s between him, his wife, her, and her ex. It’s not my job to judge other people’s domestic relationships. As long as it doesn’t affect professional life, I don;t really care what people do in their personal life

    I do have a problem with the blackmail. That is non-consensual and out of bounds. I also have a problem with the family values party once again not having any, but it’s cool because Jesus forgives. This fucking guy.

    • TJ Barke

      X( I hate to be that guy but: It’s “couldn’t” care less.

      • shivaskeeper

        Be that guy. You are right, I was wrong.

        • TJ Barke

          Sir, yes sir.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      But I think that’s kind of the point here, unless I’m misreading it. He got her to acquiesce by blackmailing her, so the affair itself wasn’t exactly consensual…

      • shivaskeeper

        She came over for the affair. No issue there. She allowed herself to be tied up and blindfolded. No issue there. He took the picture without consent. That’s where the issue is.

        The picture is not to blackmail her into the affair, it’;s to keep her from ever talking about the affair.

        • TJ Barke

          But could have been used to compel the affair to continue when it otherwise may not have.

          • shivaskeeper

            Could have. But no indication of that in the reporting yet.

    • splashy79

      Only the men are forgiven. The women are punished.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I would call this Putinism without Trump. She didn’t say anything about Ukraine after that night.

  • beatbort

    Wait a minute. He tied her up and took photographs.
    So, in essence, he was documenting his own crime?
    I mean, getting someone into your basement and then tying them up is kidnapping, isn’t it? Holy shit! This is one step away from Hannibal Lecter or Jeff Dahmer, isn’t it?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Considering how nonchalant he was about it, I’d be surprised if this was the first time he has blackmailed someone in this way.

      • Christopher Story

        #MeToo

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I wonder if he was wearing clown makeup when this happened….

      • Jennaratrix

        No, but “Goodbye Horses” was playing in the background, so she should have known something was up.

    • shivaskeeper

      If she was willing to be tied up originally, it wasn’t kidnapping.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        IANAL but if I agree to one act, I’m not necessarily agreeing to being photographed. That should be a crime.

        • shivaskeeper

          Of course. Consent in all things.

      • beatbort

        OK, I’ll remember that the next time I get my hair cutter into my basement under the false pretenses of showing her how to do a pull up.

        • shivaskeeper

          It could save you some jail time and get you elected to Governor.

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      If he’d released the picture, could it necessarily be proven he’s the one who took it? If it’s a well-lit picture where you see all of his basement, maybe, but otherwise?

  • Baconzgood

    nothing, period, had ever happened or taken place until this snowball

    Wait, did she get tied up or snowball him or both? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4525d18fd3d401c2ac9f14fbe7321220ede955536c90d0b81b68b52757cbf11c.jpg

    • James Baskin

      I’m going with snowballed him. In Europe they call it a white kiss.

      • Baconzgood

        The fact that you know that explains a lot about who you are as I lover.

        • weighmaster

          I get the feeling I shouldn’t google that at work.

          • Baconzgood

            Dick van Dyke.

            (Tee-hee)

          • Baconzgood

            500 minutes in the sin bin in under 600 games? He was my type of player.

    • SDGeoff3

      Babby Sarah Huckleby ^^^ ?

  • OutOfOrbit

    he was blackmailing a hairdresser for getting herself tied up naked by him … ? that’s odd

    • shivaskeeper

      Not odd at all. At least not the blackmail part. Family Values party. The primary aim is to maintain appearances. They can go and do whatever the hell they want, but they need to appear to be pure and wholesome, as least as far as their naughty bits are concerned. He cannot appear to have had an affair, so blackmail is a legit policy for them.

      Of course their god will forgive them, but better to not get caught and publicly ask for it.

      • OutOfOrbit

        there must be more to it. blackmail her for what? what did/does she have of value to him?

        • shivaskeeper

          Nothing of physical value. But he is a family values candidate. And affair looks bad. She had to know about it since she was there. This was just to keep her quiet. Blackmail isn’t always about the money. Sometimes it’s about the silence.

          If she had ever come forward and said. “Yes, I had an affair with Gov G and I can prove it”, all he had to do is dump the picture out there. Now she is a freak who like to be tied up and get kinky. Her word is shit at that point. She gets tried in the same court of public opinion that attacks sexual assault victims over what they wore, or how many consensual partners they have had. She gets shamed and embarrassed into silence before that can happen.

        • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

          You seriously don’t get it? If it comes out he’s had an affair, it can still seriously hurt if not destroy his career, not to mention his marriage. He thought he was protecting himself from that in a fucked up way.

        • Jennaratrix

          He was blackmailing her to keep her mouth shut about the affair. Before President Tinyhands was elected, an extramarital affair was political suicide. You know, the good old days, 2016.

  • Jennaratrix

    Oh, great. Yet another reason to be ashamed of my (grudgingly) adopted state.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yeah? Try living in Arizona, where the Cone of Shame is permanent.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Arizona & Flooriduh should get a room

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          We already did. Alabama is the result.

          • OutOfOrbit

            that explains everything

          • notanncoulter

            well played.

      • DrBigHead

        I moved from Missouri to Arizona 31 years ago. Frying pan into the fire, so to speak

        • Jennaratrix

          Well, you’ll be happy (?) to hear that Misery is doing it’s level best to catch up. Moving here (grew up in MA and went to grad school in DC) was like moving to another country.

          • DrBigHead

            I lived in Columbia for three years. Compared with the rest of the county, it was a bastion of liberal thinking.

          • Jennaratrix

            Columbia is really nice (I teach online for a school based there and had to go there for orientation) and other than Lawrence, KS, it was the closest to “home” I’ve felt while living here. College towns buck the trend.

          • DrBigHead

            Yes they do. I liked Columbia a lot, although I understand it has changed considerably. Population was about 65K when I left. I understand the greater Columbia area is now about half a million.

          • Old town Urbandale

            Yeah, you can’t understand a thing the locals say, and they put sugar in their iced tea! (The do make good biscuits and gravy, though.)

          • Jennaratrix

            Blech, I don’t even like biscuits and gravy. I’m downright unAmerican.

          • T30024

            What part of the state did you move to? Everything below I-70 is a religious hell-hole.

          • Jennaratrix

            I’m just outside Kansas City.

          • T30024

            That explains it. KC is a bit of a bastion of sanity (but still shockingly racist and violent at times). I grew up in Smithville, which was lily-white at the time and chock full o’racists… but it’s mellowed out a bit. They even have a lesbian (!) on the police force. :)

          • James

            I lived in Liberty for awhile. Tornado there took out my house. Not fair since I didn’t have a little dog nor was that Kansas.

          • Jennaratrix

            There’s racism all over, including where I grew up, but it’s way more out in the open here; it’s accepted, and acceptable, which is what I can’t get my head around. Plenty of people all over the country are racist; but in the places I lived until here, it wasn’t okay to just come right out and say it. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but that’s my experience. Well, until recently; it seems to be a lot more out in the open everywhere now.

            In 27 years living in MA and 6 in DC, I never had anyone say anything like “I’ll tell you what, we just can’t get along with these blacks,” or imply that the people living in the townhomes in the subdivision are all thugs, or try to reassure her kids about moving to a new neighborhood by saying, “Besides, there’ll be less black people here.” And all of those things happened within about 2 years of moving to Missouri.

            I had to retrain my stepkids because their mom (the person in my last anecdote) and her family are so racist that it had rubbed off on the three year old, enough that while we were sitting at the bus stop with his brother, he said “I don’t like to see black people.” He didn’t even know why, he was just repeating what that side of the family said. That bitch looked like I’d slapped her when I told her “We don’t talk like that in this house” when she made that comment about less black people in our new neighborhood. Like it had literally never occurred to her that white people might not be racist like her. It was all I could do not to show her my family pictures; we’re a pretty diverse bunch.

            Anyway. It’s been almost 13 years, and it’s still not home. But I’ve adjusted.

          • T30024

            Yeah… (sigh). I’m glad I moved away. I lived in Northern Virginia for 11 years and then moved to Atlanta. I’m in Gwinnett county, and we found abunch of like-minded liberal friends that give us a bubble.
            I don’t know how I escaped Missouri not being a racist islamophobic asshole, but I did. Part of that happened because I met and married a New York liberal Goddess…

  • Daniel Hooper

    I just don’t get it; does the entire Republican party exist just so men can speak about family values and straight, Christian sex while doing pretty much everything opposite of that, or does it just feel that way?

    • splashy79

      It’s the Republican party and the right wing religious crowd, who think that men can do no wrong and that anything that is wrong is the fault of women, since women have so much power! (not)

      • notanncoulter

        he IS the victim here, obviously.

    • specialcircumstances

      Yes?

    • shivaskeeper

      Jesus. He forgives all of their transgressions. Not any of yours, of course. Only theirs.

  • James Baskin

    More women come forward in 3,2,1………

  • Jennaratrix

    And also too, cue the media and everyone else piling on to his wife (Sheena!) for being a bad feminist for forgiving his infidelity a la Hillary and Huma and Jackie O. and Elizabeth Edwards and …

    Oh, wait, you mean that’s not going to happen because he’s a Republican? Huh. Who knew.

  • Shieldmaidenwannabe

    I seriously doubt if this was the only time he did this sort of thing. I wish he could understand, for even one moment, what many of us think of him as he’s resigning and going away.

    • Jennaratrix

      Do you really think he’s going to resign? I highly doubt it. In this case, however, I’ll be more than happy to come back to the non-comments and admit I was wrong.

      • James Baskin

        I think he’s going to try and pull a Jimmy Swaggert.

      • Shieldmaidenwannabe

        The resigning goes along with him understanding what many of us think of him. Both are unlikely.

  • Two part comment…

    1) One party consent is BULLSHIT and needs to die in a fire

    b) That is not the move of a guy on his first time. There’s no chance that he was like “well, this is my first time being a douche, so I’m going to tape her to exercise equipment and take her picture”. This is a serial douche.

    • notanncoulter

      yeah… i think they need to do some digging in his backyard and check the trunk of his car for an actual dead hooker.

    • James

      Good thing they had one-party consent, else we wouldn’t be hearing about this.

      Simpler solution: DBAD.

      • onedollarjuana

        I’m with you on both counts.

      • I still think that one party consent is a bad thing. The ends don’t always justify the means.

  • BadKitty904

    What a contemptible swine. I.e., a Republican.

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    Gov. FuckThisisMyFirstTime needs to resign. It’ll be his first time resigning, also too.

    • James

      Nope, GOP. They nominated an alleged paedophile, elected a self-admitted grabber of cats, and now have a felon considering running for AZ senate.

      He’ll stay, and the press will do it’s worst trying to dig up a “both sides” story.

  • Marceline

    One of these days I really want to hear a story like this be used to explain how the guy ended up in an ambulance with his dick in a bucket of ice.

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      Two rednecks are driving down a dark highway one night, and they happen to come up behind Lorena Bobbit. She throws John’s penis out her window and it splats against their windshield. The driver turns to the passenger and exclaims: “Gawddam, Cletus! Y’all see the size a’ the dick on that bug?!?”

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        Literally lol’d at work.. now people are looking at me and I can’t tell ’em why I am laughing cause… work.

      • A Bashful Nobody

        You wins the interwebs today!

    • A Bashful Nobody

      I see what you did there.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    This will never happen to me, because no one would ever look at me and think “that guy could show me a thing or two about pull-ups.”

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    You already know right-wing media will make sure to insist upon him being a former Democrat, over and over.

    • James

      And I wonder if he went over to the dark side party because of this. The Dems would have hounded him out of office. For the GOP, meh.

  • Anna Rompage

    All the sick little piggy needs to do is say the following “I am ashamed of my past behavior and asked my family, and most importantly, the all mighty lord above for forgiveness” and whammo, it’s like nothing ever ever happened!

    • shivaskeeper

      Already done.

    • onedollarjuana

      The beauty of Christianity, especially Protestant flavors of the cult. I was taught as a little kid that even if I was Hitler I would go to Heaven as long as I gave a deathbed apology and accepted Jeebus.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        One of the major reasons this minister’s daughter left the faith eons ago and never looked back.

  • Shibusa
    • onedollarjuana

      Doesn’t add to the debt AND helps kids? Non-starter.

      • Courser_Resistance

        No work requirement tho. Sad. The little tykes need to learn to earn their keep early (and often)

        • James

          Just as Newt suggested that free lunch students should have to clean school cafeterias for their lunch.

          Conservative cruelty has a long storied tradition.

  • notanncoulter

    he seems… nevermind…

  • pgjack

    Good thing Jesus is so easy with the forgiving.

  • ken_kukec

    They did the snowball and the tornado? Kinky.

  • James

    And yet conservative religious people consistently call we atheists amoral. As they say, it’s projection with those &c.

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s the old, “Not perfect, just forgiven” excuse.

      • James

        I’d rather live my life in a way where I don’t have to ask for forgiveness, as best I can.

        • shivaskeeper

          There’s the thing. I was raised religious. I have been around religious people all my life. As far as most sects of Christianity go, when you get saved and get forgiven for the past sins you are supp posed to start modifying your behavior so you don;t keep committing the same sins you were just forgiven for.

          Not so much for White Evangelicals. They get to keep doing whatever they were doing all along.

          • James

            “Not perfect, just forgiven.” The “not perfect” part is the loophole: No one can be perfect. Ask forgiveness again, repeat.

            Asking forgiveness should be accompanied by amends, and directed at the person wronged, but amends is not part of the NT.

            I was not raised in a religious household, though being a USian I cannot avoid religion. They call it forgiveness, I think of it as sanctioned hypocrisy.

          • amrak63

            “sanctioned hypocrisy.”

            All too much of it is, though not all of it.

          • shivaskeeper

            Making amends us part of the NT. Faith must include works. It’s in the Book of James. Works would include making amends.

            The splitting of works and faith comes from the American white Evangelical reading of the Bible. They are used to cherry picking passages to make a point. It;s not uncommon to read two passages to “prove” their point while skipping the third passage that is between the two that changes the meaning. Or Cheery picking the six passages about homosexuality (three credible, and three that are either bad translations, or using the secondary or tertiary meaning of the word used) and ignoring the over 1000 passages about love and forgiveness, unless they are one needing to be forgiven.

            This is just cheery picking half a line instead of a whole passage.

          • James

            I forgot about the Book of James, the book named after me. (LOL, no.) The sola scriptura folks ignore that line in James. Martin Luther called that book “The Book of Straw.”

          • Nola Saint

            It’s similar to what I’ve taught my now 5 yo son. An apology is only the first step and it means little to nothing if you keep doing the same thing that you had to apologize for in the first place. Sad that a concept that’s easy enough for a child to grasp seems impossible for some adults and that others understand just fine but don’t give a damn.

          • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

            Or all the fucking non-apologies.

            “I regret that some may have been offended by what I was doing/saying, but go fuck yourself.”

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Yeah, because we don’t have the fear of God’s punishment, we’re sinning 24/7.

    • Courser_Resistance

      That’s the argument that makes me extra-ragey.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Whenever I’m driving and I see a giant white pickup truck with one of the fish stickers in the window, I keep far away. The white truck indicates “I am more holy than you, and I want to make sure you know it, because I deserve the right of way”. And the fish means, “my God will forgive me no matter how many people I kill in a fiery crash”.

      • themidniteskulker

        What, in your opinion, do trucknutz indicate?

        • SydneyP

          “I is white, stupid, and afraid of everything.”

          • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

            Kind of like how I look at threeper
            And Blue Lives Matter stickers.

  • BearLeft

    Y’know that very thing often happens to guys with a wide stance. And almost three years ago, I mean they’ll have to carbon 14 date the exercise machine and all. I’m sure it’s nothing but a patriotic Republican being an absolute scumbag. Normal day. Nothing to see here, move along …

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Has he begged for the forgiveness of the German porn producer from whom he plagiarized his scenario?

    • Mr. White

      If it were German there’d be poop involved somewhere.

      • A Bashful Nobody

        EEEEEEW!

      • mardam422

        Does it count that he is a hypocritical little shit?

  • A Bashful Nobody

    Stick a fork in him,he’s done.

    • mardam422

      Oh, he is done. He most certainly is…done.

      • James

        But he’ll still be governor.

        • mardam422

          As Gerry Glanville stated…NFL.

  • T30024

    This fucker…he’s spent the last few years seeing Kansas unravel because of their INSANE tax policies, and Missouri has benefitted, so what does he want to do? He wants to copy their policies…

    Plus EW!!!! Let’s get that fucker out of office immediately…

    • James

      Kansas is obviously not conservative enough. Conservatism can’t be failed, &c.

      Nebraska also benefits from Kansas’s self-immolation of its budget, but at least our hedge-fund governor hasn’t (yet) tried anything that dumb.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Iowa’s all in for copying Kansas as well. We even hired the guy that ran their troubled Medicaid privatization scheme to run Iowa’s troubled Medicaid privatization scheme.

        • James

          So far we’re not doing that either. Perhaps a tiny light went on in our legislature that wouldn’t be a good idea.

    • themidniteskulker

      He gets millions from 2 or 3 billionaires. What they want, he wants. Just like president shithole.

  • RickyG
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    It’s amazing the shit that Jesus puts up with.

    • CripesAmighty

      Nah. All ya gotta do is say Da magick woids.

      • The power of you compels Christ!

        • amrak63

          Or so they think, anyway…

          Jesus is a forgiving sort, but don’t make Him angry. Ask the moneychangers what happens when you do that.

          • Enter Ranting

            Yeah, they get their money all mixed up. Just like the banks did in 2008.

    • Kooolest G

      you would think he’d be a little sensitive about the guy taping her hands to some sort of bondage contraption. at least he didn’t nail her to it

  • mailman27

    I would hope that Jesus at least tut-tutted the guv.

    • Rick Hill

      A couple of “tsks” for good measure

  • This is the year to sweep as many of these predators out of office as is possible.

  • Rick Hill

    Were his reasons for switching from Dem to rethug because he was only using Democrat as a cover to get elected?

    • James

      I would think that wouldn’t be required in Missouri. My guess is this was going to come out eventually so he needed to be in the party that would protect him rather than the one which would run him out of office.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • BMW

      No, he was elected as a Republican. He never held any office until this year.

    • Wilbur T

      I’m sure it was because he figured he had a much better chance of winning in Missouri as a republican. Also, the front running Democratic was/is a pretty conservative democrat (and a former Republican) so Greitens knew he probably couldn’t successfully run in that space, and he had too much ambition for higher office to wait until 2020 to run.

  • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

    This is not how a blackmail scheme is supposed to work. Herbert Anchovy has a disappoint.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/669c2a5fdfffcad9a2f49f725f3e62fc91f7649e0f71056937cb9ca1e719fba5.jpg

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Of course the guy is a Rethug. It’s the party of traitors, pervs, and thieves.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Needs a Cher remix…

      • Sakonyachen

        Do you follow Cher on Twitter? Because I can’t tell if you mean music, or one of her dislexic(I think that’s the disorder) rants. Both are entertaining, but her rants are indispensable

        • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

          I meant music, but her Twitter output is fun too.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The outrageous claims of improper conduct regarding these almost three-year-ago events are false

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/55fd710dd537957dd25668d689e680de61d9fae0b02923528b06e93866c22009.png

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      but Bill Clinton’s dalliances are totes relevant, because reasons

      • James

        They’ll hold his dalliance against his great-great-great grandchildren.

        And the party of family values, the one that claims divorce is a social evil, continues to hammer on Hillary Clinton for the crime of reconciling with her husband.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          for the crime of being a Clinton FIFY

          • James

            We’re all accomplices.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I always end a first date by taking a blackmail photo.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Gov. Eric Greitens (R-Kinkaderp)

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Greitens’ Twitter page is normally a ghost town with barely a Tweet a day. In the last 24 hours, the man has Tweeted 32 times, desperately trying to convince everyone that he’s a real swell guy.

    • James

      I’m not on Twitter, thank Eris.

  • Squeegee

    The insane smile on this guy reminds me of the ex Goldman Sachs managing director who was running against Obama for the Illinois Senate seat whose wife disclosed in their divorce papers that he tried forcing her to go to hard core S&M sex clubs in New York with him.

    • James

      Alan Keyes, the person for whom the 27% who will pull the lever for R-Satan is named (the Keyes Constant, also the Crazification Factor).

      • BMW

        Jack Ryan was the original candidate with the divorce/sex scandal.

        • James

          Yup, After his family values sex scandal, Keyes was parachuted in from out of state almost at the last moment. Despite being a crazy wingnut carpetbagger who no one in Illinois knew, 27% of the state still voted for Keyes. (Hence the Keyes Constant or Crazification Factor).

          • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

            The more you know!

      • Bitter Scribe

        They chose Keyes because they thought the only appealing thing about Obama was his skin color, so let’s bring in an even darker Negro!

        Years later, they kept saying that Obama only became president because he’s black, but they could never say that about him becoming a senator.

    • Buzz1313

      Jack Ryan- ex husband of Jeri Ryan. I remember that scandal!

      • James

        Yup, he was the person replaced late in the GOP campaign with Alan Keyes after that came out.

      • Squeegee

        Yeah I wonder what Jack is doing these days

        • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

          Hard time?

          • Squeegee

            Hard time on the golf course he got a multi million dollar pay out from Goldman Sachs.
            Also I know from a friend near the top at Goldman they get full payout of their partnership and directorships if they resign to go into government.
            One way for Goldman to keep its sticky fingers in our government affairs

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Don’t fuck with Seven-of-Nine!

  • Ninja0980

    He used to be a Democrat too.
    Maybe he realized we wouldn’t tolerate crap like this so he switched parties.

    • James

      Watch: He used to be a Democrat is the part that will get the most ink and air in the press.

      • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

        *sigh* yup

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        Fux Snooze will put a D beside his name in the chyron.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      ask Roy Moore about that

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    The ‘Show me the the pix’ state

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    If there is any justice in the universe, all of Eric Greitens’ future dates will end with pepper spray and a restraining order. Like this one should have.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    ‘one-party consent’
    Am I slow this morning, or does this not make any sort of sense at ALL?

    • Kateaux

      Means you don’t have to tell the other party you’re recording the conversation.

      • James

        Good thing Missouri has that, or we would not know about yet another hypocritical family-values conservative.

        Cuing the Missouri legislature to require two-party consent in three. . . .

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Which I get, but how exactly is it ‘consent’?

        • Enter Ranting

          Ex-husband asks himself if he wants to secretly record his then-wife, and he agrees to do it?

          • James

            Yup, the hub would be the one party.

        • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

          Parsing language is hard!

        • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

          One must agree with oneself, I guess?

        • keinsignal

          Makes more sense if you contrast the case where it doesn’t apply, maybe? Specifically, eavesdropping; you can’t record somebody else’s conversation that you’re not a part of, as there would then be zero consenting parties.

          The implied exception to that exception would be, you can record a conversation on behalf of a person who is participating and provides the needed consent. E.g., you won’t get sent up the river for helping your pal rig a tape recorder to their landline.

        • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

          Because one of the two parties has “consented,” with the form of consent being the recording itself.

          Still banned—except, of course, when somebody in the government carves out an exemption for cops or security agencies— would be the recording of a conversation between two participants neither of whom knew they were being taped.

          This law is a double-edged sword, vulnerable to abuse. I don’t know whether or not I think it’s a good idea.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            I can see uses for it, but it really tortures the concept of ‘consent’ into meaninglessness.

  • BMW

    “I’m Eric Greitens, I’m a Navy SEAL, native Missourian and most importantly, a proud husband and father.”
    -from the linked article

    This was almost literally his entire platform as a candidate. That and his Democratic opponent wanted to expand Obamacare, and he didn’t, was his entire general election campaign message.

    • Trump’s Potemkin Village

      I read a couple of articles about his SEAL career. The fellow SEALS weren’t painting such a flattering picture of Greiten’s SEAL career. Who coulda node? Lie to your wife, lie about your career, lie about your family valyoos.

      • Sakonyachen

        If he was worth a damn as a SEAL, he wouldn’t be governor now. He seems like the type that can adapt well to anything but won’t commit to the rules. I should know, I have the same problem. Luckily for me, I have a soul. It kept me out of politics, and from taking bondage pics for blackmail.

  • fawkedifiknow

    As I read the story, I was beginning to wonder when it would get to the part about his Lord and Savior, Jesus Bondage Christ, having forgiven him.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Ahem, nails appear to be more of the S & M spectrum, if you catch my drift. If Jesus Haploid Christ (h/t Stonekettle Station Jim Wright), had been suspended by rainbow scarves, however,

  • Lefty Wright

    Everyone should read the link to Greiten’s bullshit explanation as to why he became a Republiscum. It follows their script without giving any answers. “Challenge” the poor. In other words, let them starve or die of treatable illnesses if they cannot find a good paying job with benefits. Create jobs by gutting environmental and worker protection regulations.

    As with most politicians, especially in the right, he was full of feel good bromides but severely lacking in actual policy or even careful analysis of the down side of his vague ideas. Or how his policies even had an upside other than cutting taxes for the rich and saving lots of money for corporations by gutting regulations protecting the public and workers.

  • Squeegee

    The really big news here is that it is a sex scandal involving a Republican who turns out to be straight and not gay…

    Also his wife’s name is SHEENA!!! I love her parents for naming their daughter SHEENA and want to hang out with them they must be so cool.

    • harryr

      and he appears to be into adults, which is also a surprise.

      • Squeegee

        He looks like Aaron Schock whatever happened to HIM?

        • Jon Sussex

          Evan. Evan happened to him.

  • Jonny On Maui

    resignation clock

    For a Republican? Don’t they usually double down until a jury is empanelled?

    • James

      If that clock has the half-life of U-238, maybe.

      • John Thorstensen

        Several billion years, if I recall. I’ll have to ask by isotope geochronologist friends. (I love being a professor).

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          I see your scientific data and raise you by 3 Religion References, see post above. Good Sir, consider yourself challenged to a data duel!

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      No more than a day and night of Brahma, ’bout 8.64 Billion years

  • Enter Ranting

    Well, I think Sheena should sic her hoards of angry woodland creatures on her douchebulb husband.

    • Squeegee

      I’m guessing she was born in the eighties and her parents named her after Sheena Easton

      BECAUSE WHO WOULDN’T??? SHEENA EASTON RULED THE EIGHTIES!!!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Let it be known that I did not vote for this shyster Greitens, I voted for Chris Koster, although Chris was not the ideal candidate either.

    • Sakonyachen

      He wasn’t. Kinda shady. Compared to Greitens though, he’s damned near perfect. Who knew that Jay Nixon would look better in hindsight?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Between him and John Ashcroft, Missouri has had some real winners in the governor’s mansion, hasn’t it?

    • Sakonyachen

      They seem to be catching whatever Illinois has been ailing from. We elect some real shitheaps as well. From either party.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Illinois has come down with a bad case of only-the-rich-need-apply. Pritzker is trying to buy the election by smothering the airwaves, which is how Rauner won. I really hope Biss gets the nomination–he has his own drawbacks, but at least he’s smart and has relevant experience. But if Pritzker buys the nomination, I’ll vote for him. I’d vote for a neglected compost heap over Rauner.

        • Sakonyachen

          I voted for Quinn, who was less charming than a neglected compost heap. I’m right there with you.

  • Squeegee

    If I had a daughter in the 1980s I would have TOTALLY named her after Sheena Easton also which is clearly what happened here

    Also one of my co workers just stuck her head in my office to complain about me playing Sheena Easton on youtube all morning.

    Are you young’uns old enough to remember her???

    • Bitter Scribe

      I’m sorry but naming your kid after an actor or other performer is just weird IMO.

      • Trump’s Potemkin Village

        Speaking of which, John Mellencamp’s son (Speck – yes, “Speck”) is in trouble just like Sarah Palin’s son Track.

        • Sakonyachen

          I’m seeing a pattern here. I didn’t have any kids so I never got to name them. Somehow naming them after random nouns seems a bit douchey.

      • Squeegee

        Sheena is a good name if you want your daughter to grow up to be a call girl

    • Trump’s Potemkin Village

      My baby takes the morning train. He works from 9 to 5 and then he takes another home again….(can’t remember the rest).

      • Squeegee

        Yeah that was her biggest hit

      • Magnificent Mopery.

        “To find me waiting for him (like a complete idiot)” It just repeats throughout the song.

        • Invisible Bunyip

          I always felt sorry for the poor sod who’s done a full day’s work, comes home and she wants to be taken out EVERY EVENING for dinner and dancing.

    • Bill Diaz

      Ewww…

      Sheena Easton’s music was garbage in the 80’s and time has not been kind to pop claptrap of the time.

      Madonnna is an example of a pop star of the 80’s with staying power, liking the B-52s is still cool, but Sheena Easton is a name best left in obscurity.

      Have a great day!

      • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

        I concur.

  • Jezzam

    A republican that moonlights as a sadist? You don’t say

    • Trump’s Potemkin Village

      Well, it is unusual…in that usually they don’t moonlight!

  • being a douchy perv is a feature not a bug over at the Grand Old Pervs.

    • Lulu’s Mom

      No resignation, no resignation. YOU’RE the resignation. Seriously, douchy perviness guarantees re-election.

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    I’ve got this feeling that GOP cheating men expect that their women will stand by their men and it’s their “Christian duty” to do so, but if the shoe were on the other foot and the wife cheated on the husband, the ‘lying harlot’ should be cast aside forever, denounced and never forgiven, as that’s the “Christian duty” of a GOP man.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      “2 large stones, 1 sharp one, and a bag of gravel, please”

      Guess the bag was for the little tykes at the stoning

  • Mike Minden

    I’m confused.

    He had pictures that incriminated himself in adultery and would wreck his political aspirations….and he allegedly tried to use them to blackmail somebody else? “Do what I say or I will release the pictures and commit political suicide!”

    Something doesn’t track here.

    • bbayliss
      • Mike Minden

        Thanks for the link. His behavior still strikes me as weirdly self-destructive.

        • covfefesumgame0005

          so, reptardlican…

    • Poly_Ester

      The threat was to the woman he photographed, “stay quiet or else” it was blackmail but not extortion,

      • Strepsi

        Yep that’s what i got, the photos were of her nude and handcuffed, which he threatened to leak anonymously

        • Sakonyachen

          Not trying to discredit her account, but if he is dumb enough not to realize his basement is part of said photo, he is not hero Missouri needs, but he is the hero they deserve.

      • phoenix00

        aka revenge porn.

  • bbayliss

    What is up with these guys? Jared’s dad…
    “It was developer Charles Kushner who speeded his passage through the swamps of New Jersey patronage politics—till Kushner was brought down in his own spectacular sex scandal. … Kushner paid a prostitute $10,000 to lure his brother-in-law to a motel room at the Red Bull Inn in…” short version…he video taped it and sent the video to his own SISTER!
    http://nymag.com/nymetro/news/people/features/9874/

  • Celtic_Gnome

    He took the naked pic to keep her from telling about the affair, but the affair came out anyway. Did he post her pic on the Arizona Senate candidate’s revenge porn site? If not, I can’t support him.

    If he broke that promise. How do I know he won’t promise to cut taxes for everyone and then just cut taxes for the rich once he gets elected?

    • Keith Taylor

      Come on! Let’s not slide into fantasy because of our prejudices! Who’s ever done that?

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Ahem, umm, confessing for a “friend”, that’s it

  • ltmcdies

    And I’m sure this “alleged” incident is not the first one of these “alleged” incidents

  • amrak63

    Stupid White Folks of Alabama:

    “YEE-HAW! We done gone an’ nom’nated ourselves a gen-yoo-wine CHILD MOLESTER to serve as the standard-bearer for the Y’all Qaeda Party! No one’s gon’ top us fer moral hip-O-crissy!”

    Stupid White Folks of Missouri:

    “Hold our beers.”

    h/t Charles Pierce for “Y’all Qaeda”, and Zombie Rotten McDonald for a previous version of this post.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Oh, hell, they’ll just say he’s still Democrat, just like they say the KKK is a Democrat Party organization

    • Strepsi

      Ugh i have head that one so many times! Or that the Republicans freed the slaves. The only response other than punching them then yourself in the throat, is to ask why is it Republicans have to reach back 200 years to find one thing they did that was decent?

  • Randal Gist

    No allegedly about it.

  • Squeegee

    I’m willing to reserve judgment until I see a shirtless photo of Mr. Greitens.
    If he is as hot as he looks I’m willing to give him a free pass

  • Poly_Ester

    Perhaps we have been mislead, the republicans are clearly practicing Fambily values not family values.

    • Tosca

      Oh, they’re definitely practicing Family values. Just that it’s the Manson Family.

  • progressiveredneck

    Looks up into nearest cloud and does a my bad speech. All better. Hey, that’s pretty handy, I wonder if it will work tomorrow for some other shit? Since the floating outer space zombie magician gave me a pass, that whore who tempted me must live with her shame all by herself cuz the non existent Middle Eastern superhero and his not real Dad said I could still be on their team.

    It’s on her really, why did she have to have boobies?

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Better lay off the Trump transcripts for a while until your speech cortex swelling goes down.

      If not, 0.5 mg Decadron i.m. Qd4

  • SheltonTodd

    The Republican Party stands for good, old fashioned, wholesome American values of S&M and bondage. If you don’t agree with me, I have compromising photos of you.

  • Rooster Cogburn105

    Old joke:

    Sadist picks up Masochist at leather bar, retires to Masochist’s home. Masochist selects a whip from the collection and pleads “Beat me as hard as you can, no safe word!”

    Sadist replies: “No”

  • reelreeler

    Live in Missouri, didn’t like Greitens from the get-go when I saw his gun-nut campaign ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-VfFi6Z14Q (yep, that’s how you get votes in Missouri) I too hope he resigns, the only sad thing with that is that the lieutenant governor is pretty much a Buford T Justice wanna be. So yeah, welcome to Missouri.

  • rg9rts

    Another gopee rising star that uses his little head before using the big one

  • Sakonyachen

    Breaking News!

    Channel 4 news St. Louis just reported that the woman who had the affair with Greitens apparently believes her ex betrayed her trust when he recorded their conversation. I’m guessing she must be a Republican too since accountability is for everyone but her.

  • John O’Brien

    Forgiveness from Jesus? The guy’s jewish!
    Regardless, he has been secretive about his political backers and the dark money he has received. He is using an app that wipes out conversations on phones that he and his staff have about running the state, so the Missouri state government doesn’t have it’s actions at public disposal. Oh and wants to do the same destructive tax breaks in Missouri that Brownback did in Kansas. Both GOP and Dems hate him.
    You might want to look up a billionaire in southwest Missouri who makes the Koch brothers look like saints for follow up articles.

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