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Your British spy boyfriend Christopher Steele

Let’s keep SNEAKY DIANNE FEINSTEIN’S Fusion GPS transcript story going a while longer, shall we? It’s really fucking important.

We liveblogged the transcript for SIX WHOLE HOURS, so if you missed that, please click right here. We’ve already done some analysis on why it’s super freaking obvious why Chuck Grassley, Donald Trump, and the rest of the paste-eating dingleshits in the GOP wanted to keep the transcript under wraps. But now let’s take the briefest of moments to note that, according to Fusion GPS co-founder Glenn Simpson, British spy Christopher Steele, American Patriot, stopped giving the FBI his intel “sometime” in the week before the 2016 election, because he was worried the FBI wasn’t being an honest broker about the safety, security, and sovereignty of the US and A, and was instead overrun with Trump-fellating dildo truffles intent on burying any information that might suggest their future orange boy king might be a literal actual Russian intelligence asset.

And whatever gave Steele that idea?

IT WAS A REAL HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!

Allow us to time-travel you back to Halloween of 2016. You were dressed as “Slutty Private Email Server,” and you looked HAWT. That day, Slate published a story by Franklin Foer about a weird Trump Organization server that communicated almost exclusively with a server in Russia owned by Alfa Bank. When it wasn’t doing that, it was communicating with a server owned by the DeVos family’s Spectrum Health. HMMM WONDER WHY! Slate was trying to figure it out, and months later, it was reported that the FBI was still trying to figure it out. (Now, all these months later, we have no reason to believe special counsel Robert Mueller is not still ON IT. Hey what’s this? Mueller just hired a badass CYBER PROSECUTOR? Huh!)

The same day, Mother Jones reporter David Corn published the first public report about what came to be known as the Steele Dossier. It didn’t identify Steele — he was a “veteran spy” — but contained explosive allegations that indeed, Steele had been communicating with the FBI about how he had uncovered a massive Trump-Russia conspiracy.

That night, disgraced former New York Times (and fired by CNN!) reporter Eric Lichtblau got a BEE IN HIS TAINT. He had been working on the Alfa Bank story too! He got scooped by mere bloggers at Slate! GRRRRRR! So he talked to “source” at the FBI (some Trump idiot probably), who told him “NO RUSSIA NO RUSSIA YOU ARE THE RUSSIA,” and, having achieved the kind of erection a seasoned reporter only gets when he has a SIZZLING HOT SCOOP, he copy/pasted what “source” said and immediately published a story clearing Trump of all Russian crimes past, present and future. It was a fucking disgrace.

The New York Times, apparently still butthurt over how bad its reporting was that day and also all the other days of the Gregorian calendar, reported yesterday on Dianne Feinstein’s release of the Fusion GPS testimony, exhibiting the same level of journalistic expertise it did on that Halloween night, just before the entire world went to hell:

The interview, with Glenn R. Simpson of Fusion GPS, provided few revelatory details about the firm’s findings on the Russian election effort or on President Trump and his campaign.

OH IT DIDN’T? THAT’S NEWS TO US. PERHAPS THE NEW YORK TIMES SHOULD READ A WONKETTE LIVEBLOG FROM TIME TO FUCKING TIME.

Seriously, NYT, we get it. You’re lazy as fuck, the Washington Post is running circles around you, and you just don’t feel like reading long Congressional transcripts. Please cheat off Wonkette! Hell, we will even liveblog from NYT’s offices if you pay us many dollars! Why yes, we are willing to use Maggie Haberman’s desk!

But wait there’s more!

Simpson also testified that it wasn’t just the NYT story that worried Steele, but also former FBI director James Comey’s famous letter, temporarily reopening the Hillary Clinton email investigation 11 days before the election.

Comey later testified to the Senate Judiciary Committee that he HAD to send that letter in a public way, because he had previously announced in a very public way that Hillary Clinton was innocent of all email genocides and massacres. Now there was potentially new information on Anthony Weiner’s laptop that maybe said she was History’s Greatest Email Monster after all! Comey has also said he was worried that if he didn’t say anything, the existence of NEW SEXXXY HILLARY NSFW EMAILS would leak to the press.

And whatever gave James Comey that idea?

WELL! If you will also recall, Rudy Giuliani (who is mysteriously silent these days) was on TV all the weeks before the election saying he had SECRET SOURCES (the FBI New York field office) telling him Hillary was about to be INDICTED because the FBI had found the SMOKING GUN EMAILS that proved Hillary did … some bad stuff, who in hell even knows? Meanwhile, Blackwater sadist freak baby Erik Prince was telling Breitbart his SECRET SOURCES (in the NYPD, which is in a known same-sex relationship with the FBI NY field office) were telling him the following things:

“They found State Department emails. They found a lot of other really damning criminal information, including money laundering, including the fact that Hillary went to this sex island with convicted pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Bill Clinton went there more than 20 times. Hillary Clinton went there at least six times,” he said.

“The amount of garbage that they found in these emails, of criminal activity by Hillary, by her immediate circle, and even by other Democratic members of Congress was so disgusting they gave it to the FBI, and they said, ‘We’re going to go public with this if you don’t reopen the investigation and you don’t do the right thing with timely indictments,’” Prince explained.

Remember, this happened after Comey sent his letter, but before he sent his second letter, which said “OOPS I DID IT AGAIN, MY BAD.”

Now, were Rudy Giuliani and Erik Prince full of shit? OF COURSE THEY WERE! But note that they were leaking Moscow-style disinformation even though Comey did their bidding and stuck his dick into the election, an act that mayhaps could have been the final straw that stole the election from Hillary Clinton. (It was, and it did.)

And who was watching all this unfold? Chris Steele.

Put all these things together and Steele — who used to be the head Russianist at MI6 for God’s sake, it’s not like he doesn’t know how to identify when an intelligence or law enforcement agency seems compromised — said “Fuck it, I am out, guess I will have to save America in a different way.” So he went to the press! And that’s why Chuck Grassley and Lindsey Graham want to give him the whole LOCK ‘ER UP treatment.

Have we mentioned that the GOP is run by compromised, justice-obstructing halfwits, and that Chris Steele has more American patriotism in his uncut (we assume) British dick than anybody in America with an “R” next to his/her name? Oh, we’ve said it multiple times lately?

WELL, LET’S FUCKIN’ SAY IT AGAIN.

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ll get to this story in a moment, but first:

    Yoo hoo, campaign manager for Dianne Feinstein? I would pay good money for a “Vote for Sneaky Dianne Feinstein 2018” bumper sticker!

  • OTB

    Great post. Giuliani is such a piece of shit. Keep up the good work!

  • Crystalclear12

    OK, so everything is literally the New York Times’ fault.
    Way to go, Grey Lady.

  • dslindc

    I’m beginning to think that, “Yes Russia, Yes Russia, the Trumps are the Russia!”

    • SterWonk

      Beginning?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I’m so confused.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Alcohol will help.

      • msanthropesmr

        No, it doesn’t help, but it makes it so you don’t care.

        • Roadstergal

          That does help.

        • chazmanr

          So does a ball peen hammer betwixt the eyes, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

    • dslindc

      Basically, it’s like the underpants gnomes, except the gnomes are Russia and the underpants are Trumps.

    • BearGHAZI

      That’s OK Toots, you’re just the eye candy around here

      • Gayer Than Thou

        If I had a dime…

    • chazmanr

      Clearly the GOP strategy is working.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I would love it so much if Zuck the Schmuck and Jackass Dorsey got prosecuted and their shitty troll havens shut down permanently.

  • Skeptical_thinker

    Please to keep putting a beatdown on the NYT, they so richly deserve it.

    • dslindc

      And Maggie Haberman, also too.

  • Gosala

    OT (allegedly) : Off to a Town Hall with the Democratic candidate for our House district, currently occupied by a classic fight for the rich pretend to be a tea party Republican.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Godspeed!

  • spangled

    The NY Times should quit this whole “reporting” thing and just stick to fellating rando trump supporters. It is what they’re best at these days.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Not nearly as much money to be made, believe me. Or so my colleagues tell me.

    • Bill D. Burger

      That and screeching “Clinton….EMAILS! …..Benghazeeee'” every fucking time anything negative arises about TrumpCo. They rival Chris Clitlizard’ in that respect.

      • ImGoingBacon

        Bonus points for ‘Clitlizard’

  • borninatrailer

    When I was reading the transcript (which I did, in its entirety), the “Halloween Special” thing jumped out at me. Beyond the obvious, is there a way in which that expression is used that I’m not aware of? I mean, there is the War of the Worlds radio broadcast (fake news that riled the masses!) but I’m not aware of any alternative meaning. Like some kind of thing that a journalist might use as an expression. Anyone or is that just nothing? Seemed a little odd.

    • WeaselPoo

      Cocktober?

    • Trip Space-Parasite

      I just took it as “horror”.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Probably some sort of coded instruction to a source in Saint Petersburg.

    • goonemeritus

      So after reading it do you regret your Trump vote?

      • borninatrailer

        YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Does this mean your weird crush on Comey is over?

    Honestly, this entire previous election was like watching the world’s worst game of Plinko. The sheer number of things that had to go wrong in order for us to get here is kind of staggering:

    1) Weiner had to be a very obvious and stupid pervert, 2) Huma still had to be married to him during the investigation (for God above knows what reason), 3) Bill Clinton had to take his jaunt across the tarmac to Loretta Lynch’s plane, 4) the FBI had to have a demented Clinton Cash-reading faction willing to leak to Giuliani, 5) the White House had to have bowed to Mitch McConnell’s blackmail on Russia’s interference, 6) our news media had to have been so laser-focused on “balance” that they followed the email story to a pathological degree, 7) Comey had to be such a self-righteous dickweasel, 8) Eric Lichtblau had a job anywhere near journalism, and on and on and on.

    A *single* break in that chain would have given us a different result. One.

    • Roadstergal

      Fuck Comey and his self-righteous little veiled Tweets of justice. He ratfucked us over properly, and he has to do a hell of a lot more than send out cutesy Tweets to make up for it.

    • Proud Liberal

      It was the weirdest election I have ever seen.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Let’s hope it stays that way.

      • JaveyDay

        “election”

    • goonemeritus

      And Jill Stein had to be not justifiably ignored like every other below 1% candidate was.

      • borninatrailer

        But she had such sane and sensible policy positions and didn’t at all come off like an unhinged loon!

        • Meccalopolis

          She gives good vax

      • clairence

        her ‘recount’ nonsense was probably intended to be cover for the Trump camp’s malfeasances.

    • Maxine Headroom

      Like a fucking plane crash.

    • Red Bird

      America had to have pent up racial animus due to the election of the country’s first Black president.

    • Impatient

      I’m soothing my synapses by concluding that we just saw the perfect storm of “transactional” players in this election. One after another, individuals and groups decided that they wanted something, that it would be wrong to do a particular thing about it, but that it would be okay if just THEY bent the rules this one time.

      – Comey
      – evangelical xtians
      – women who don’t necessarily want to be grabbed by the pussy (sorry to be so blunt, so shoot me)
      – all the Russia-compromised folks, who didn’t have sufficient spine to just report themselves and the Russians … to any actual American authorities
      – Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera …….. ad infinitum ……

      [NOTE: I do owe one debt to the NYTimes conservative religionist columnist, Ross Douthat, for clarifying “transactional.” He’s all about describing conservatives’ “transactional” reasons … but then he is also too a CUNT.]

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Seriously, NYT, we get it. You’re lazy as fuck, the Washington Post is running circles around you, and you just don’t feel like reading long Congressional transcripts. Please cheat off Wonkette! Hell, we will even liveblog from NYT’s offices if you pay us many dollars! Why yes, we are willing to use Maggie Haberman’s desk!

    If I hadn’t already cancelled on them over the Jill Abramson firing, this would have done it. Fuck them with a chainsaw of cancellations and dropped advertisers FFS.

    • spangled

      Lets remember that they did literally nothing about Glenn Thrush and his proclivity to badmouth female reporters who wouldn’t fuck him

    • CindyinEncinitas
    • LeftyProud

      And the absurd “Nazis are just like us!” piece.

    • Ling Ling

      I’m still mad about Iraqi WMD.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’m still mad about the utter farce that was Whitewater.

        • Meccalopolis

          And bush v gore and Iran contract and CIA cocaine pipeline ad finitum

    • Stable Genius Demme

      Mr. Demme is all butthurt over my total disregard for the NYT.
      He hates Trump, but somehow did not suffer the daily vein-popping frustration I had with all their anti-Clinton clap-trap.
      (Guess they decided they’d sell more papers with Trump.)
      Too bad it’s gonna take a looooooong time, for some people to realize how they’ve been betrayed.
      (Left-wing media. Riiiight.)

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        Same same here with Mr. Cats

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Personally I subscribe to every other newspaper (and Wonkette twice!) in a futile but symbolic attempt to negatively subscribe to the NYT.

      • theCryptofishist

        All of them, but the Times, Katie!

    • Impatient

      FW-little-IW, I cancelled a few weeks ago. Told them I’d paid for David Brooks’ “both sides” lecture once already, and that I didn’t need to keep paying for it. Told them that the subject seems to be “treason.”

      Though we all may still be heading for death (well, yeah, eventually) I do feel better, knowing I squeaked out my own little “Go fuck yourselves!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Rudy Giuliani (who is mysteriously silent these days)

    I was just wondering about that the other day. Maybe he knows he’s in trouble and, unlike Donald, is listening to his lawyers who are telling him to STFU?

    • dslindc

      Turning off the “bloviating asshole” mode must be so hard for him though.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        When your only political achievement is “I happened to be there that day” you gotta make up for it somehow!

    • dshwa

      Helping get a potential traitor elected is a really good reason to keep quiet, even if you didn’t know about the Russians.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      No, he’s just in rehearsals for the revival of RUDY RUDY RUDY, his three-hour tribute to Judy at Carnegie Hall.

      • Red Richmond

        Rudy Rudi Rudé

    • Red Richmond

      Maybe his old rotting teeth finally fell out and he can’t get them replaced because he keeps biting at the dentists.

    • borninatrailer

      I believe this would be Rudy currently on his AG prospects and Trump in general.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bEJz-HlK8Q

  • Scooby

    Is like a Bond movie but if Blofeld was an idiot.

  • Manhattan123

    The fuckers are doubling down, too. In its story today about Trump’s lawyer suing Buzzfeed and GPS, the NYT included this lovely paragraph: “Though investigators and journalists have developed extensive evidence linking some of Mr. Trump’s associates to operatives for the Russian government, no evidence of a direct connection between Mr. Trump himself and the Kremlin has emerged.”

    The story is co-written, natch, by Maggie Haberman.

    • Bill D. Burger

      I’m only fucking surprised she didn’t somehow link everything to ‘HILLAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’!

    • gnomemansanisland

      She’s basically Trump’s spokeswoman at the Times

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        She’s writing her own book about Trump and doesn’t want to lose her access.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Of course it was.

      I know what she thinks she’s doing: she figures that to maintain her inside access to Trump, she has to keep in his “friends” zone by occasional throwaways to his party line. But it’s an ugly ass bargain, and she’s not a particularly insightful or penetrating reporter despite the access. She’s the end-result of brown-nosing access journalism.

      • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

        But! Every time she gets an article featured in his Good Trump Press folder, she might get an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW SCOOP!

        https://news.vice.com/en_ca/article/zmygpe/trump-folder-positive-news-white-house

        She was recently on Preet Bharara’s podcast, defending the way Michael Schmidt carefully transcribed Emperor Dementia’s blather with zero pushback in his EXCLUSIVE SURPRISE NYT INTERVIEW SCOOP. She said at one point that it’s not really the press’ job to do real-time fact-checks.

        Yeah, Haggie, you got a bit of self-tanner on the sides of your mouth there.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          “She said at one point that it’s not really the press’ job to do real-time fact-checks.”

          I would honestly like to know who the hell she thinks is supposed to be doing that job if not them. Though she’d probably respond “the American people”, because she’s a glib halfwit.

        • Manhattan123

          She was all over Twitter defending Schmidt’s tongue bath “interview” of Trump after he started getting roundly mocked for it. The Washington Post counted something like 30 lies in a 20-minute interview.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I don’t get where this idea that asking follow-up questions is “doing real-time fact checks” comes from. If the guy says he’s emperor of all the seas, and you know he’s the captain of a fishing boat in Minnesota, you ask a follow-up question. Why are the rules different when it’s the Cheeto-what’s-in-charge making up the constant lies?

    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      FFS, Putin is the fucking connection between the orange shit weasel and the Kremlin. But there are so many other connections between Russia and the fuckface’s camp that I can’t even keep them straight any more.

    • WeaselPoo

      It’s not a Duck de L’orange until its served on a plate with a plastic sign shoved in its ass that says Duck de L’orange in 72 point helvetica.

      • Impatient

        Best concise wording of the shitshow situation. ‘Nope, can’t prove that. Nope!’ This crap has been driving me nuts for a year. I keep thinking, What the fuck are people NOT paying attention to?

        Thanks! And stolen!

        • WeaselPoo

          Use liberally.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      The Trump Family’s Rolodex of business partners looks like the character list of War and Peace, but, no, there’s nothing to see there.

    • Michael Smith

      Didn’t he get mad at her the other day over something? She must be really trying to get back in his good graces.

    • cmd resistor

      Why do they even bother.

    • ArgieBargie

      The “Failin’ New York Times,” indeed.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, shut the entire fuck up, Margle Harbermarble.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Wait a second, that sentence contradicts itself! Isn’t extensive evidence linking Drumpf’s associates to the Kremlin an actual fully included within the class of evidence of a direct connection??!!!111??? The idiocy boggles the mind.

    • SweetDeeKat

      “You see, you can’t prove it because it’s circumstantial.” From the handbook “Law for the Convicted.”

    • Meccalopolis

      You can always count on the times to, not only fail to rise to the occasion, but to actively take the wrong side.

  • goonemeritus

    Give the NYT a chance they are still looking into the whole Watergate thing.

    • Bill D. Burger

      They are still trying to verify the tapes.

      • goonemeritus

        I hear they will be reporting them as incomplete do to some gaps.

    • Doug Langley

      “We still suspect WaPo rushed to judgment.”

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Ever since they caved to the DoD’s “order” that they cease and desist publishing the Pentagon Papers, I’ve hated the Times.

      • goonemeritus

        I still read it because… huh I’m not sure, but I do.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          I only e-subscribe for the crossword puzzle. Still the best in the world.

          • goonemeritus

            Will Shortz can waste much of my Sunday

  • Hobbes’ like, smart Evil Twin

    Eric Lichtbleau and the whole NYTimes newsroom need to eat copious bags of rat dicks.

    • Shan

      Don’t even salt them.

      • goingohm

        Worse, make them the Nacho Cheese kind.

        • SisterArtemis

          Cool Ranch!

      • MynameisBlarney

        And don’t cook them thoroughly either.

    • mike stone

      Eric Lickballs is a Russian troll. The Russians give money to creeps like him to write this shit. These sorts are all over the place (e.g., fox news, breitbart, and, etc.). At the NYT’s, the editor should lose their job for allowing this garbage to be printed.

  • WeaselPoo

    It is a ghastly thought that Trump’s “failng NY Times” rings true now.

    • Ling Ling

      Not seem funny when you put it that way. Still better than Faux or BrightFart.

      • WeaselPoo

        True. But still….

  • gnomemansanisland

    went to this sex island – it’s what the kids are calling it these days.

  • rubikcube

    A lot you know Wonkette. In 2016, I went to Halloween dressed as slutty Bernie Sanders. And let’s pretend out loud that those same dubious pro-Trump FBI folks were NOT the same ones whispering into [suddenly silent] Rudy’s pointy little ears about Hillary dirt! shall we?

    • SisterArtemis

      I do, and do not, want to see a pic of you as Slutty Sanders…

      • rubikcube

        Mmmm. Many Jon Snow’s and one Susan Boyle knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of Slor that day I tell you.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Exactly. Did I look like a “Slutty Private Email Server,” to you, or a peppermint nightmare? (If you guessed the former – WRONG)!

  • JaveyDay

    The GOP is trying to use Fusion GPS to geolocate the Uranium One conspirators!!!

  • goonemeritus

    To investigate The Trump family and not find money laundering is unpossible

    • Khavrinen

      Never underestimate the ( deliberate ) incompetence of Republican investigators.

  • Are you sure he didn’t have to give up because he had to go blow up Putin’s space laser? Possibly with a sexy astronaut named B.J. Sky?

    • theCryptofishist

      Astronaut or Cosmonaut?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Vichy Times = More paste eating dingleshits.

  • Me not sure

    It’s been all downhill since they fired Judith Miller.

    • mike stone

      Who should be in jail.

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      since they fired hired Judith Miller.

      • Me not sure

        Point taken.

  • rubikcube

    And the one NY Times reporter who consistently gets called back on cable news? You guessed right if you said Maggie Haberman.

    • gnomemansanisland

      She’s is the epitome of Grey Lady smug. I think she reads wonkette though.

      • rubikcube

        Really? Hey Maggie, choke on Donald’s balls next time, please?

        • gnomemansanisland

          I have no “hard” evidence. Just a hunch from something she said recently to Chris Cuomo.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Aaaand?
            What’d she say?

          • gnomemansanisland

            Can’t remember specifically – something to do with what the left says about her and the times journalistic un-bias. Just some detail I can’t remember and then I thought this seems like a response to Wonkette’s snarky critique. I think she fancies herself as a snarky person.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Pfffft.

            She merely adopted the snark, we were born in it.

          • gnomemansanisland

            She’s upper crusty NYC all the way so no need for snark really.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Like Trump fancies himself smart, I reckon.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            This is a person who thinks that “Habers gonna Habe” is a clever retort, so that’s entirely possible.

          • gnomemansanisland

            Yeah – if you ever catch her act on CNN some morning you’ll see someone totally in love with their MENSA score.

          • Sheepshagger

            Bitch Please. She’s got less Snark than an expurgated Lewis Carroll Anthology.

          • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

            I heard Haggie on Preet Bharara’s podcast recently, and she did say some pushback toward lefty things that could be interpreted a little like rebuttals to common Wonket opinion…

            Hello, Newman. Haberman.

          • Oblios_Cap

            “hard evidence”? Just what are you doing at Maggie’s Farm these days?

          • gnomemansanisland

            I don’t wanna work on Maggies farm now or ever.

        • mike stone

          I may be wrong, but Maggie does not strike me as a fellatio giving type.

      • MynameisBlarney

        ERHMAHGERD!

        MERGIE HERBERMERN!?!

        • SDGeoff3

          lol.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Michael Smith

    Well you don’t want all those racist rednecks in the heartland to cancel their NYT subscriptions, do you?

    • gnomemansanisland

      Maybe they should send a team of reporters out to hillbilly haven to ask them about it.

  • Crystalclear12

    Anyone else having rage scream issues?

    • SDGeoff3

      No. We are drinking.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Yes, but just remember- project from the diaphragm, not the larynx. If you only use your head voice, you’ll wind up with nodes.

    • puredog

      I’m just sobbing. Similar, yet different.

  • Joshua Norton

    If there’s really no crime being committed, this is the most inexplicable coverup in history.

    • Oblios_Cap

      It’s not the crime, it’s the coverup. Where have I heard that before?

      • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

        Why not both?

      • clairence

        obstruction’s better than treason, I guess, if you’re the one in the hot seat.

    • Doug Langley
      • OppressedMass

        I actually sought out and downloaded that guilty-guilty-guilty panel in the hopes that I would soon get to use it…. still waiting.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I post Uncle Duke addressing the young Republicans all the time.

  • Oblios_Cap
  • memzilla Ω

    That night, disgraced former New York Times (and fired by CNN!) reporter Eric Lichtblau got a BEE IN HIS TAINT.

    Delivery for Mr. Lichtblau!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/06368738318baaef9dadec806ba6326211fa9fc4736e747ffc25ae77596b6f6e.jpg

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Excuse us, we can’t be bothered looking into this transcript thingie as we are working on the following stories:
    –CHUDs watch Netflix, just like you or I
    –Why we still hate Hillary Clinton and are not sorry
    –The understated manliness of the polo shirt and its role in Western Civilization, a special column by David Brooks
    — How to get by on $400,000 a year, without living like a peasant (twist: it can’t be done)
    — Why doesn’t Hollywood make heroic journalist movies anymore?”
    The New York Fucking Times

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      There is a small group of tRumpy voters that they haven’t interviewed yet, so that goes on the to-do list too.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        FWIW, I thought he won the CHUD vote.

        • Red Richmond

          Yeah, the CHUDs thing is the next episode of the “Nazis are Normal” series.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Once they are done with that they will interview sovereign citizens. Anyone except liberals.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          What do you mean? They are working on their story about why liberals are so condescending to CHUD voters.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            They might quote some of the “our revolution” folks who claim that trying to help anyone except white “economically anxious” Trump supporters is identity politics in that story too.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      — Are Nazis the new snuggle bunnies?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      And don’t forget,

      —Three Navy Blue Shirts under a Green Duck Shooting Jacket is the New Black.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      — Why doesn’t Hollywood make heroic journalist movies anymore?”
      They do – about the Washington Post.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I’d watch a Wonkette movie made by the Broad City duo.

    • theCryptofishist

      I think I’ll use one of my 10 freebies on that CHUD one.

  • Michael Smith

    I wouldn’t say that an institution like NYT has very much influence over Trumpists, but when they read an NYT article and see that even a newspaper that they consider to be the height of commie pinko crap is stating that there’s no evidence yet of collusion, they feel all the more confident in believing that “Mueller is finding nothing and is getting desperate.”

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Perhaps not Trumpists, but there’s a fair bit of evidence it does over Trump himself. Not because he’s an avid reader, mind you: it’s because he’s incredibly vain and knows that it influences opinion in people he hobnobs with.

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        Hometown paper.

    • mike stone

      Okay, but why does the NYT work to make these assh*les feel good?

      It can’t be because Kansas is buying issues of the NYT!

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        That is a really good question. Considering how many of the biggest stories of the past few decades they’ve either gotten wrong or allowed their reporters to make up out of whole cloth, I’ve concluded that the NYT’s reputation for being the paper of record is completely undeserved. Their Trump coverage has made it really obvious – as Evan correctly noted, the WaPo has been eating NYT’s lunch and drinking their milkshake since the election.

        • OppressedMass

          I’m starting to develop conspiracy theories about why the NYT kneecapped Hillary. I think something sinister is going on — more than a few bad-apple reporters. It’s as if Russia has a pee=tape on the entire NYT editorial board.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • ManchuCandidate

    A Prince and A Ghoul walk into the NY FBI office…

    • Victoria Ricola

      And then the murders began.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    That night, disgraced former New York Times (and fired by CNN!) reporter Eric Lichtblau got a BEE IN HIS TAINT. He had been working on the Alfa Bank story too! He got scooped by mere bloggers at Slate! GRRRRRR!

    It’s really bad when an election and the fate of the civilized world hinges on whether a reporter thinks he’s the biggest swinging dick in town.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Does that mean he is a disgraced former reporter for the disgraced New York Times?

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Hey NTY,

    If wonkette can do a better job then you can covering this story you really need to rethink your life.

    Signed

    Everyone

    (Nothing against Wonkette, I love this place but they don’t have the budget, staff, money or history the NYT’s has and still do a better job)

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Ups for Wonkette. Also too, BuzzFeed’s budget is literally kept alive by those “420 Bae AF Tweets From Justin Trudeau About Weed That Will Restore Your Faith in Humanity” clickbait meme articles, but their longform journalism is still a better love story than Twilight better quality than NYT.

      (And TBH, I’d read that 420 Bae AF Trudeau/Weed thing.)

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Buzzfeed uses the money to hire actual pulitzer prize winning journalists too.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Yeah, you know we’re living in the Upside Down Bass-Ackwards when the Old Grey Lady ain’t what she used to be — and there’s better journalism happening at BuzzFeed, Teen Vogue, GQ, and Esquire. Call me when Highlights for Children does in-depth reporting on the intersect between private prison contracts and undocumented minors stuck in detention centers… while the NYT decides instead to interview racist hicks who are voting for Arpaio in the upcoming Arizona senate election.

          • Tishalicious

            It could be a Goofus and Gallant!

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    This makes the following, recent Trump quote even more hilarious: “YES THERE WAS COLLUSION WITH RUSSIA, IT WAS HILLARY AND RUSSIA.”
    Did I say hilarious? I meant totally fucking laughably idiotic and transparently false, you deranged douche bag.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    But about that crappy NYT article–it does have a good bombshell at the end:

    In a brief interview, Ms. Feinstein left open the possibility of releasing other transcripts from the committee’s investigation.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4aa565e1174efc18b53d6d0731b04e44387ed0923e5bb1b073cda95f6faa516e.jpg

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • Doug Langley

      Why, you’d almost think they were biased or something.

    • JaveyDay

      It’s the “Liberal Media” hard at work being liberal!

  • JaveyDay
    • mike stone

      God, I hate that jerk Ben Stein. He brags about how good Nixon was as president.

      • suziq

        You know, at the time I was not a Nixon fan, and though I still am not I kind of liked having an EPA and whatnot.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Except “Mueller” doesn’t rhyme with “Buehler”, it rhymes with “duller”
      and am I being annoying or what?

      • JaveyDay

        They’re spelled the same. Mueller and Bueller.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Potato potato.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        It’s kind of an indefinable schwa. “Mehller.” Hence the “It’s Mueller time” T-shirt. I know because Boston used to have a Red Sox player named Bill Mueller whose name was pronounced the same way.

      • hudson

        he’s hauling that ass up the street and down. so irrespective of how it is pronounced, he is a mule-er by deed?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Still waiting for Trump to declare that this testimony completely exonerates him and/or is fake news.

    • mike stone

      At this point, I would not be surprised if Trump shit his diaper at a press briefing and then brags about how good it smells.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        “We brought them together in this room and it was a tremendous meeting,” Trump opined in a televised address to his cabinet. “Actually, it was reported as incredibly good and my performance — some of them called it a performance, I consider it work — but it got great reviews by everybody other than two networks who were phenomenal for about two hours.”

        “And then after that, they were called by their bosses and said, ‘Oh, wait a minute,’” the president continued. “Unfortunately, a lot of those anchors sent us letters saying that was one of the greatest meetings they’ve ever witnessed. And they were great for about two hours. They were phenomenal.”

        • SDGeoff3

          He’s into the deep shit very deeply.

        • suziq

          So let me get this straight. After he had a meeting, television news anchors sent him letters within the first couple of hours saying it was one of the greatest meetings they had ever witnessed? Hmmm, I find that somewhat…hard to believe. I am not sure which very great and important meeting this was because the quote does not say what he is talking about but to me a meeting of that caliber would have been about world peace or finding a cure for cancer. And I don’t remember anything about that.
          Is it at all possible that he is full of shit and has to do that thing where he lies about everything and has to praise himself because his minions aren’t meeting his needs? Nah, nobody is that pitiful. Must be something else.

        • sarafina

          WTF?

        • cmd resistor

          Who talks like this?

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            Someone who is like really smart?

          • Donna Mueller

            an alzheimers patient, sitting on the corner of his bed in a nursing home in his shitty, piss filled diaper raging like a lunatic at the wall, that’s all you get outta dumpie-he’s NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

        • MinneMary

          Peter Baker wrote in the NYT that trump had a “vigorous” meeting and he was in command.
          Not the same fucking meeting I saw

        • Jimh

          We had a meeting, and it was phenomenal, just great. The best meeting in history, many people are saying. A great, great meeting. People will be studying this meeting in schools, using it as an example of the best kind of meeting.
          JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

    • Meccalopolis

      Why not both?

      • theCryptofishist

        That’s likelier than either one.

  • ArgieBargie

    Not that the NYT doesn’t suck harder than working at a fan factory, but my understanding is that Steele’s decision to cut the FBI off was more related to the agency’s own fuckery than the NYT story.

    But what do I know? I’m no stable genius.

    • goingohm

      Alas, none of us, save Trump are. But what makes him a stable genius, you didn’t ask? Certainly he has a talent for monetizing horseshit, but others have done it better. And it wasn’t like he was the one who developed horseshit as a tactical weapon. Hell, we all have some of that, regardless of our Second Amendment stance. Or even because he is a mastermind of strategic horseshit, though he is.
      Nope, he’s a stable genius because he was the first to realize the horse was a redundancy.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Rafalca is horse thinking, I was ahead of my time.

    • Shibusa
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I don’t know if I missed Prince’s interview with Breitbart or what but HOLY FUCKING SHIT, that guy is much more evil than I realized.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Breitbart interviewed Prince?

    • mike stone

      Prince is trying to get Trump to give him monies to start an private security and armed mercenary force. He is a Himmler.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        not start, to embiggen

        he already has a mercenary army amassed in Northern Africa

      • Mike Minden

        I would love to see Poot-Lips Huckleberry explain how that could possibly have a lawful purpose.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          “They will make sure Americans stand for the national anthem and don’t criticize the president because that is Anti-American”

          • Mike Minden

            Treason in support of Trumpy is the highest form of patriotism. Or something.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        His guys will look great in some nice black Hugo Boss retro suits.

    • Reximus

      It was such 100% wholecloth BS, even Breitfart removed it the same day

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      People with Crusader complexes usual are.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Like, there’s evil like “Imma kill this puppy,” which I totally assumed and then there’s “I can utterly make shit up about people and call them child molesters and NO ONE CAN STOP ME.”

        OK, now I’m depressed and thinking about dead puppies.

        • Bobathonic

          Prince is both of those.

          • theCryptofishist

            He’s depressed and a dead puppy? nice multi-tasking.

      • theCryptofishist

        Does he have a “Kill them all, God will know his own” moment?

        • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

          I think that was the Blackwater mission statement.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Of course.
      He’s an xtian dominionist that ran a mercenary company.

      • clairence

        doesn’t he still?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Apparently.

    • DrBigHead

      Just like his sister, and the whole pyramid scheme-pushing family.

  • schmannity

    It is definitely time for Steele to upload Peeing in St. Petersburg, starring Donald Trump, to YouTube. Then let them explain that Christ peed on his disciples and vice versa with Mary Magdalene.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Yellow Snow + Red Square = Orange Foolius

      Not the reboot of Primary Colors we wanted…

      • ((( Augustus )))

        that’s fucking meta as shit

        you just blew my mind

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Who gets to take one for the team and watch that?

      • President in Exile Firefly

        Me! I hope PBS Newshour devotes an entire hour to the pee tape.

        • mike stone

          With Judy warning viewers about the explicit context involved.

        • Roadstergal

          *pours a shot out for Gwen Ifill*

      • schmannity

        Be sure to wear your pee goggles

      • Shibusa

        “It’s official. Urine sane, Donald!”

    • DrBigHead

      Please make it happen. I will ask for nothing else for the rest of my life.

    • Jimh

      I’m just waiting for Trump to tweet “If there is a video of me with pee hookers it is completely FAKE! SAD!”

  • JaveyDay

    Did You Know that Robert Mueller’s middle name is Swan?

    Will a Black Swan event be his Swan Song?

    Sorry.

    • Sheepshagger

      Go home Karl Popper. You’re drunk.

    • theCryptofishist

      Black Swan Green

  • alpacapunchbowl

    New York Times:
    “All the paste that’s fit to taste.”

    • SDGeoff3

      I like that.

    • altleftjohn

      All the news that fits, we print.

    • Lord Jim

      New York Times – You’re Only Going to Use It for a Rain Cap Anyway.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Worst. Contraceptive. Ever.
        (Is rain cap still a slang for condoms? Prolly not.)

        • Roadstergal

          I never heard of that one, it was ‘raincoat’ growing up in my neck of the woods.

          But the NYT certainly doesn’t put me in the mood for sex, so – contraceptive mission accomplished?

    • theCryptofishist

      Isn’t that a little hipster for the Grey Lady?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I don’t run in hipster circles anymore, are they into eating paste now?

        • theCryptofishist

          I meant as an idiom, although, wtf they may be.

    • Steely_Fan

      IIRC, Rolling Stone’s motto is “All the News that Fits.” I’m hereby suggesting that the NYT changes theirs to “All the Shit that’s Fit to Print.”

  • OrG Unstable Genius

    “Were rudy ghouliani and erik prince full of shit?”
    NOPE THEY WERE LYING.

    • theCryptofishist

      Also, too.

  • GlazedHaim

    Snark aside, this is fucking Troubling, with a capital Treason

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Putin

      • GlazedHaim

        Comment Synergy Level Alfa

      • mardam422

        Or pee hookers.

      • Jimh

        Right here in River Fucking City

      • Steely_Fan

        (Wonkette chorus in the background) “Trouble, trouble, trouble…”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Thank the Lord for Wonksplanations!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Who among us hasn’t sent extensive emails about our numerous visits to Sex Island?

    • P’jama Pahnts

      They have a confuse. Sex Island is a pretty decent MMO. The Elven Pole Dancer is way, way OP’ed though.

      • Raan

        The Chippendale’s Orcs can really draw aggro, though.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        I love that they made pee hookers a new playable class last year

        really a nice touch

      • Charles Insandiego

        Steely Dan III was the best dildo in that game, but they nerfed it in the last update.

    • like really RESISTLY GHERKINS!

      “De plane, boss, de plane!”

      “Erections, everyone! Erections!”

    • theCryptofishist

      And just like Ape Island has a giant ape statue, Sex Island has a giant sex statue.

  • sarafina

    Although I’m not an Iowan I called Grassley’s office to say how disappointed I was with his treasonous activity. They were not receptive.

    • mike stone

      Good and tell them that the pig porker needs to retire.

    • stubbornirishlass

      Awww, poor little cornflakes.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Thank you for your service.

  • Raan

    If you get use if Haberman’s desk, do you also get use of the gin in her desk?

    • Bobathonic

      That bottle is empty.

      • Raan

        Then it’ll make a fine shank, won’t it?

        • idiotboy

          My, that was good.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      While you’re checking out the office furniture, ask if you can climb up on her high horse and tweet snarky responses to anyone that catches you fucking up (the way she does near daily)

    • Courser_Resistance

      Me! Me! Me!

    • Cock Blockula

      Are Maggie and Dame Peggington drinking buddies?

      • Raan

        …yyyes. I was absolutely implying that and didn’t confuse one for the other.

        • Cock Blockula

          Brains not in evidence today… (mine)

  • george gonzalez

    Not to beat an ailing equine, but some of us think any comptent IT guy that was asked how the emails could have gotten onweiner’s laptop would have immediately said “That happens all the time, maybe she used an email app, like say MS Outlook, which downloads all the emails without telling you”. Also same IT guy could have written a 12-line Python script that would in about 30 seconds have verified that the emails were all copies, not anything new. Kinda troubling that our democracy got hacked by John Podesta’s bait-taking and not saved by the FBI having a medium-bright IT guy in the loop.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      it’s not that they couldn’t

      it’s that they didn’t want to

      y’know… because they are a bunch of fucking traitors?

      • DrBigHead

        Yes, they appear to have known precisely what they were doing.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      medium-bright IT guy? Hell, I’m an end user and I know all that stuff. This is mom’s AOL is busted again so I have to go over and reboot the modem level competence.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve had IT guys do that for me on occasion and I’m like ‘Woe, magic! U R a Genius!’

      Sure, there’s stuff I can do in excel, but I have a problem with a data file, the Python thing is much quicker and less likely to jack up the data.

  • DrBigHead

    Now that I have had time to digest this more thoroughly, Giuliani is rapidly moving up my indictment wish list.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He’s way deep in this shit

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I LOATHE Giuliani. I’d like to tell you what I hope happens to him, but Dok insists on maintaining high faulting commenting standards.

  • ChumpsForTrump

    Makes sense that he stopped talking to the FBI (and I think basically disappeared for a while?) when this stuff happened all at the same time. That chain of events would definitely make it seem like there may be some polonium in your future..

    • Courser_Resistance

      Can you imagine how it must have felt to have to watch all the wheels come off and you’ve done every fucking thing to alert the rubes.

      This is why I have to get outta here. I can’t pay my hard-earned tax dollars for that inept, ignorant and willfully evil doings of our gov’t.

      • Steely_Fan

        I don’t doubt that there are people doing inept, ignorant, and willfully evil shit in gubmint. I only want to gently remind you of Hanlon’s razor: Never ascribe to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
        ~Robert J. Hanlon
        Doesn’t mitigate the pain caused by waste, fraud, and abuse by gubmint, just a way to look at it from a slightly different perspective.

        • Steely_Fan

          ETA: I’m wasn’t including R-Thug congresscritters in my citation of Hanlon. Those fuckers are all inept, ignorant, and willfully evil.

  • clairence

    First off, Evan… really? US and A? It’s US of A.

    Also, why did the Special Counsel wait two months to reveal this cyber hiring? Could it be they were not wanting everyone to know about it right away?

    • HazooToo

      Do you want some of my chips of dip? Or the mac of cheese? I also have cream and wheat.

    • No it is us and a.

      • clairence

        Ah! I missed the Pretty Little Liars reference.

  • bbayliss
    • hudson

      are you sure? know-knowingly, in full consciousness, why would anyone send something so aggravating to to somebody they know?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I tried to read it, but the bastards blocked me. How dare they expect me to PAY for my news? What is this, 2006?

      • Steely_Fan

        In Chrome using an “incognito” tab (right-click the link and choose “Open in Incognito Window” option) gets you past the WaPo & NYT paywalls. I dunno what the equivalent function in Firefox or Edge is, but I suspect they have it also too.

    • HazooToo

      “But the point is that Republicans are working to frustrate a full
      accounting into all these matters without knowing what, exactly, they
      are preventing from seeing the light of day.”

      Who says they DON’T know? Sure, I could buy that most of them didn’t know before he was elected. But if they don’t know now, then they’re deliberately blinding and deafening themselves, and they need to be removed.

  • mardam422

    If he’s British, why are his teeth so nice?

    • hudson

      expand it to continental please? every time i see somebody overtly nice teeth, i see somebody who has been a victim to the guiles of an american dentist.

    • Jonny On Maui

      To fit in internationally. That’s the spy part…

      • mardam422

        Ohhh! So counterintelligency.

    • Manhattan123
    • TundraGrifter

      Remember Wonkette’s one Limey Lizzie?

    • Mike Steele

      Lady MS here: Think again. MS is first gen American, of UK parents. We pray that Christopher is, at the very least, a cousin – and noticed the ubiquitous gap in his two front teeth. Proof positive!

  • Scurrilous

    NYT: Nothing left but the crossword puzzle.

    • hudson

      so kind of wierd. there are many other newspapers who do better crosswords, and even better sudoku!

    • pstokk

      And Krugman. Hmmm.

  • hudson

    in abscence of chief evangelizer, please to kindly vote for your own local version of lorax this year. kindly do register and irrespective of who register for, please do vote democrat down the ticket. thanks and sincerely. humble request only.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    That sex island sounds positively disgusting and depraved. Does anyone have a name, or perhaps some GPS coordinates? Asking for a friend.

    • Last Hussar

      Can I be that friend?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Lulz, absolutely!

    • theCryptofishist

      I think it’s called Sex Island. And it mostly exists in Giuliani’s cross-dressing brain lobe.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Sounds like we should do a recon for research purposes, yeah that’s it. I know what I’m putting in my next video-game mod.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Who wouldn’t want to go to a sex island? You know Republicans are getting all tingly in their bathing suit areas just thinking about it.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Like East of Eden, the book, not that abortion of a Hollywood movie.
          Republicans are only invited as subs, sure makes it easier to beat them.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I like where your head is at on this one!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            My current one is a repub, I did not know until she was until she said something that sounded like she approved of t-rump.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            You’re dating a Trumpanzee?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Oh, heaven forfend, no. I’m actually married to a Canadian. My sub girlfriend that I scene with is though. We never talked politics and she was always smart enough to keep her views to herself. That is why I joke about making it easier to beat them and extol the virtues of a good ball-gag.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            You know that scene in Airplane where everyone is lining up with their weapons to smack the passenger they all hate? Thats whast Im picturing.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Snicker …Well, I’m not sadist. I’m a sensualist, however when they ask for it by name and it is what they truly want…

  • Cock Blockula

    I think Evan needs to write the next “All The President’s Men” strictly following the Wonkette Style Guide.

    Suggested working title: “All the President’s Grifters”

    You guys can come up with something better…

  • theCryptofishist

    For a moment I wondered about using MoDo’s desk, but then I realized what a lot of trouble and expense to get the exorcism. Plus, not approved SCIENCE.

  • OppressedMass

    Okay, who among us thinks the NY Times is actually, officially compromised in some way (Russian blackmail, etc.) and who thinks they (editors/writers) are just spectacularly incompetent?
    I think Wonkette should have an official position on this.

    • Begin Anew Day

      To blackmail them they would need to have some sense of shame. Otherwise, why bother?

      But in the last twenty years their incompetence has become VERY conspicuous.

      Right now they are the twitching corpse of a once powerful media presence.

    • They were always a conservative outlet. There never was a time they were not

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      They don’t need to be compromised. They’re Useful Idiots, easily manipulated into saying what’s needed.

  • Poly_Ester

    Here is how I imagine it ending. The twit’s final tweet: Everybody says a low resting pulse is good. I have the bestest resting pulse ZER [ENDS].

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Toot-toot! Next train for CrazyTown just pulled into the station:

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/951270448930676736

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Some people say Joe Arpaio is a racist shitbag. I don’t know where they got that idea.

      • Jimh

        More and more people are saying

        • Hesavebread!

          Many people, good people.

      • Begin Anew Day

        From his mother?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        From District Judge Susan Bolton?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        The Shitbags of America resent the inference that they are related to Arpaio. He, Roy Moore, and Clarke are a species all to themselves.

    • oh good. this should go well.

    • mailman27

      You have got to be shitting me, Pyle.

    • phoenix00

      That crazy-train never left.

      https://i.imgur.com/WTDnnwE.gif

    • Nice they are saying right out it us a false claim. Is our newspeople learning?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        ‘Bout time.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Hey, Donnie Dumbass, this time the deflection isn’t working. Everybody with two functioning neurons knows your handlers stole the election for you. It’s just a matter of time before you’re out on your bloated ass.

  • Bitter Scribe

    The NYT is just pouting because “The Post” should have been “The Times” and Tom Hanks should have played…I dunno, Abe Rosenthal?

  • Holy crap, Evan sitting at Maggie’s desk is as delightful to me as pee hookers peeing on the Obama bed was to he-who-shall-not-be-named.

  • Impatient

    Maddow interview with Buzzfeed guy brought a word / idea to my attention. “Gatekeeper.” Is it that N.Y. Times sees itself as part of, or the leader of the old print and TV gatekeepers, who decide what subjects and analysis styles are allowed in the news? Sounds like the NYT belongs in a museum.

    • Begin Anew Day

      A museum is TOO DAMN GOOD for that gaggle of decrepit scandal and war mongers.

      Hell! Even a rat swarmed landfill is too good for them.

      It is hard to think of a place loathsome enough where the NYT belongs. Even the oozing fistula in donnie T’s rectum is too damn good for them.

      • Ducksworthy

        Elegantly put.

    • It’s an insular, entitled group of former Ivy Leaguers who are completely out of touch with reality. Kind of a high-end clickfarm that advertises mainly to the upper middle class – the Sunday Times is the epitome of aspirational consumerism.

  • psychobroad

    Every time I think of James Comey throwing the election to Dump I am enraged to the power of a thousand suns. FUCK that asshole, and the NYT too. Can’t even blame the Russians, they are our enemies. The FBI and NYT are supposed to be Americans.

    • Ducksworthy

      Yes. A Halloween Surprise is definitely a nastier form of the standard GOP Ratfuck October Surprise.

  • CW

    Keep in mind that Chaffetz leaked Comey’s letter about the new emails. Comey was backed into a corner by Gouliani, McConnell, and Chaffetz.

    • Ducksworthy

      Where in the World is Rudy Gouliani? It could be a children’s book.

  • TundraGrifter

    Michael Cohen is suing Fusion GPS and Buzzfeed. Where did Mr. Trump’s brilliant legal eagle go to law school?

    According to [Thomas B.] Cooley [law school]’s ABA required disclosures, only 27.4% of graduates from the class of 2015 obtained full-time, long term, bar passage required employment 9 months after graduation.[6] 23.8% of graduates were unemployed 9 months after graduation.[7] Only 51.86% of graduates managed to pass a state bar exam in 2015, a requirement to practice law.[8] In 2017, the school was one of ten American law schools found to be out of compliance with the American Bar Association’s requirement that schools only admit students who appear capable of earning a J.D. degree and passing the bar examination.[9] The school was recently ranked the worst law school in the country by Above the Law.[10]

  • L Jean Camp

    I talked to them about the DNS records for weeks. They rolled out the famous “debunking” story half an hour after Slate published their story. Their discussions with me were in bad faith. They knew they were publishing disinformation.

    • Allen Eisenberg

      You’re my hero!

  • The Rick

    Impeach Trump.

    • phoenix00

      And throw those treasonous GOP lizards into prison.

      (in before lizard libelz!!)

  • Mike Steele

    Evan: Must thank you everso for live-blogging the transcript; felt it was a labor of love.
    Also, read ECMcLaughlin stem to stern, then noted favorable reviews of Seth Abramson version, as well. You each gravitated to the same salient points, distilling that TL:DR piece to its essence. Your efforts have already borne fruit, as even Grassley can’t pretend that, local yokel that he is, he doesn’t catch the drift of what’s going on. Why, tonight, he even suggested that DJT stop calling to hassle him, laid off DiFi, and gave Gillibrand the green-light for her ‘blue slip’ rejection of Trump’s nominee/Guiliani partner for SDNY. Each one of you has been stellar; bless y’all’s hearts!

  • Xenu Ate My Baby!

    Rudy G hasn’t made a peep in months, right? Or have I just been lucky enough to missed it?
    I sincerely hope he, Erik P and Cohen are held to some justice for their insidious deeds.

    I’m so fucking tired of these retro 70s bullshit Roger Stone antics we’ve all been suffering thru for the past I dunno even know how long because it feels like a decade but I know it’s only been a year.

    Pro tip: Don’t finish that garbage tome Fire & Fury, then open up the free copy of All the Presidents Men you have on your phone, re-read that and then open Twitter and see that Goddamn American Hero Dianne F released the Fusion transcript.
    I’m so down the swampy traitorous rabbit hole it’s ridic.

    • vivian

      Rudy Ratfucker has been quiet lately, hasn’t he?
      I wonder if Bob has anything to do with that?

      • Xenu Ate My Baby!

        Fingers crossed!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Anyway, let’s address a more pressing issue: What is the definition of a “sex island”, and how does one get there? Asking for a friend.

    • blarg

      Well, since it’s Jeffrey Epstein’s, that probably means an island of minor children that can be exploited and abused at will. Sorry to be Debby Downer. But I will say if that’s a place that exists, most definitely Jeff’s pal Donnie Trump had his own suite on the island.

  • Lily412

    Really thorough on this one, Evan. Thank you!

  • Ducksworthy

    “This is Treason Everett. I know it is Lyndon.” Then why the fuck didn’t you throw all these traitors in prison back then and save all the last 45 fucking years of misery and ongoing GOP Treason?

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