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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Don’t expect any top Trump officials to appear at public Trump-Russia hearings, as Republicans keep avoiding or flat-out denying Democrats’ attempts to interview people like Trump Jr and Jared Kushner.

Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen is suing Buzzfeed for publishing THE DOSSIER, but weirdly is not suing Buzzfeed for all their (excellent!) stories about his Russian mob casino boats. Weird!

Kevin Harrington is a former Peter Thiel hedge fund manager and a Mike Flynn flunky who still sits on the National Security Council. Back in February, Harrington tried to get the US to pull ALL US troops out of Baltic states in an attempt to appease Vladimir Putin (and simultaneously scare the crap out of Eastern Europe). [Morning Maddow]

Democrats are fed up with Republicans stalling on Russia-related stuff, and Maryland Sen. Ben Cardin just released a report calling for more Russian sanctions and safeguards against inevitable Russian election fuckery.

The Trump administration is attempting to restrict “unmasking” of US citizens caught in international surveillance operations in response to Trump transitions officials (*cough*Mike Flynn*cough*Paul Manafort*cough* Jared Kushner) being caught up in Trump-Russia investigations.

The socialites who used to be FABULOUS friends with Princess Ivanka are calling her praise of her own feminist accomplishments tone deaf.

A new poll predicts that Trump and Republicans will be trounced in 2018 and 2020. Of course, the same poll also found that a bunch of people think Trump will eventually be cleared by Robert Mueller, so there’s still a lot of work to do.

With the Jan. 19 budget deadline looming, Democrats are considering a government shutdown over DACA.

Jeff Sessions is sharpening his sword and recommending the Justice Department seek the death penalty in two two cases, and there’s word they want to kill a lot more people. [Archive]

Republicans are hoping nobody notices their quiet effort to stop military sequestration from going into effect by dumping BILLIONS of dollars into defense spending, and some Republican are bitching that they want even more money. [Archive]

Trump is giving a pass to five big banks who were caught screwing with global interest rates. Coincidentally, Trump owes one of those banks $130 million.

Coal giant Bob Murray has been winning bigly under Trump as his administration just ticks off everything from Murray’s policy wish list.

Interior Secretary and grifty bastard Ryan Zinke has given Florida an exemption from its new oil company free-for-all after Republican Rick Scott whined that oil companies might ruin Florida’s tourism industry; now EVERYONE up and down the East and West coasts is calling bullshit.

The former big pharma CEO and Bush 43 alumni, Alex Azar, is Trump’s new HHS nominee, and he swore that his experience in big pharma makes him the only person who can convince drug makers to lower the soaring cost of prescriptions. [Archive]

Racist former sheriff Joe Arpaio will run for the US Senate in Arizona, making Trumpkins choose between “Chemtrail” Kelli Ward and a convict, and Martha McSally.

Federal judges have tossed out North Carolina’s gerrymandered congressional map, calling it overly favorable to Republicans. The three-judge panel has said that if a new map isn’t redrawn by Jan. 24, the court will do it for them.

A federal judge has blocked Trump’s attempt to shutdown DACA, calling Jeff Sessions’s view of the program “a flawed legal premise.”

A leaked memo from DHS suggests that the Trump administration may kick out hundreds of thousands of Indian H1-B visa holders as they wait for Green Cards so that some unqualified patriotic Americans can fill their IT jobs.

SCOTUS is looking at two cases of warrantless searches that could strengthen Fourth Amendment search and seizure protections involving cars and driveways. [Archive]

Human Rights Watch released a lengthy report that suggests intelligence and law enforcement agencies have been trying to hide potentially illegal efforts to get information on suspected criminals so that they can make arrests without anyone ever knowing.

NOAA just released a brief preliminary assessment on US climate in 2017, and the data suggests that climate change is raising temperatures to all-time highs.

The NYPD has solved a 1994 rape case that saw the victim repeatedly libeled by New York Daily News columnist Mike McAlary due to her history of activism.

As the number of incarcerated veterans increases, more and more state and local prisons are setting up “veterans pods” so that vets can help each other deal with life behind bars and work through personal issues. Of course, it’s probably better to help vets BEFORE they commit crimes, but that’s just my opinion, man.

Actor James Franco was on Colbert last night, dodging questions about being an awful sex monster that surfaced on Twitter Sunday night during the Golden Globes. [Video]

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is in hot water after a recording of his kid, Yari Netanyahu, surfaced where he and his obscenely rich friends drunkenly look for a cheap hooker while degrading women and boasting of their wealth.

Trump will travel to Davos, Switzerland, for the 2018 World Economic Forum, an annual gathering of world leaders, super rich people, and global elitists and media whores — but nobody knows if he’s just going to crash the party, have another secret meeting with Putin, or just go skiing with snow bunnies.

Mike Pence and Princess Ivanka will lead the US delegation to South Korea for the 2018 Winter Olympics. Hurray… [Archive]

Some turtle populations in the Great Barrier Reef are almost exclusively female thanks to global warming, and though science nerds say they could adapt, climate change is happening faster than evolutionary biology.

AT&T and Comcast already screwed the city of Nashville out of municipal fiber Internet access, and now the telecoms just buried any chance for Nashville to build its own cheaper, faster, locally owned Internet service.

You wouldn’t know it, but Huawei is the third largest cellphone manufacturer in the world, and Huawei’s CEO, Richard Yu, just eviscerated US telecom carriers at the 2018 Consumer Electronics Expo for their shitty and shady practices.

Youtube has FINALLY made a statement about a douchebro Youtuber who vlogged about his field trip to the “Suicide Forest” in Japan, but it’s being criticized as a half-assed “we R sadz” rather than a full-fledged condemnation.

Here’s some nice time about Patrice Banks, a lady who started her own full service auto repair shop with all female mechanics and a mani-pedi/blowout salon after being told girls suck at car stuff.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert laughed at Trump singing the national anthem; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump’s crazy and lazy behavior; The Daily Show talked about Trump’s authoritarian use of the Justice Department; Jordan Klepper had a report from Kobi Libii about Muslim refugees in Idaho.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! PUPPIES!

We’re ad-free, so send us some money if you like us, and want us to keep making newses, and ‘splainers, and stuff!

Follow Dominic on Twitter and send him cute puppers!

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  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      That person is a fast reader!

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      What are those green things in the lower left?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Shamrock exoskeletons.

        • BadKitty904

          Ahhh…

      • Oblios_Cap

        Designer cock rings?

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Green bell pepper slices, sliced laterally.

      • From Russia with Love

        Really. Fuck that.

  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      As Twitter has reminded me, Oprah was once pictured with Weinstein, which is weird, seeing as how they’re in the same industry, so LOCK HER UP. Anyway, the smart guys in my Twitter feed have reminded me that it’s time to move on to explaining why Kamala Harris must never be the nominee.

      • From Russia with Love

        And it has nothing at all to do with her brownishness, I would bet.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          You’re the real racist for pointing it out.

        • SterWonk

          Of course not. (It has to do with her ovaries, duh!)

  • BadKitty904

    Kevin Harrington is a former Peter Thiel hedge fund manager and a Mike Flynn traitor who still sits on the National Security Council.

    Thanks, GOP!!1!

  • Oblios_Cap

    With the Jan. 19 budget deadline looming, Democrats are considering a government shutdown over DACA.

    Normally, that would upset me, but after a year of Trump, everything is so fucked up that I don’t really care.

    • In all honesty, it could backfire.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Especially with the judge’s ruling, this does not seem to be a good idea.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • BadKitty904

    The Trump administration is attempting to restrict “unmasking” of US traitors caught in international surveillance operations in response to Trump transitions officials (*cough*Mike Flynn*cough*Paul Manafort*cough* Jared Kushner) being caught up in Trump-Russia investigations.

    Thanks, GOP!!1!

  • Nounverb911
  • Oblios_Cap

    Mike Pence and Princess Ivanka will lead the US delegation to South Korea for the 2018 Winter Olympics

    Lil Kim will be ready.

    • Nounverb911

      MOTHER’S LETTING PENCE GO OUT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN?

      • Oblios_Cap

        I hope he can contain his primitive urges!

  • Nounverb911
    • gnomemansanisland

      Look at it this way. If he had a dog friend he’d be trying to screw its bitch behind fido’s back.

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      Trump: “Look if I had wanted somebody who’d shit on the rug I would have hired Chuck C. Johnson.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      SAD!

    • jodyleek

      He has toadies, doesn’t that count?

  • BadKitty904

    Republicans are hoping nobody notices their quiet effort to stop military sequestration from going into effect by dumping BILLIONS of dollars into the pockets of Republican “campaign donors”, and some Republican are bitching that they want even more money.

    Thanks, GOP!!1!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Dom, if we already have our clothes off, must we put them back on? Asking for a friend.

  • rosenbomb

    Racist former sheriff Joe Arpaio will run for the US Senate in Arizona, making Trumpkins choose between “Chemtrail” Kelli Ward and a convict, and Martha McSally.

    Arizonians…you have a special kind of crazy down there.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      But it’s a dry crazy.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Yesterday, the masseuse gave me a dry rub. I didn’t feel it.

    • BadKitty904

      Who?

    • Nounverb911

      This one too.
      https://twitter.com/RWPUSA/status/951067452888240128

      OOPs wrong state….

      • rosenbomb

        Oh, gawd. Having spent a lot of time in Arkansas, I am not surprised.

        It’s okay– here in Idaho we just have gun nuts, a Hispanic tea partier who does diddly squat to support immigrants and their families, and an end-times guy running for office. USA! USA!

        • Arolpin

          Did you ever think that Butch Otter would seem relatively sane? (I went to school with his kids, they were pretty normal and one of them I think worked in environmental policy for a while after college.)

          • bupkus231

            I thought rosenbomb was talking about Raul Labrador….

          • Arolpin

            I think she is. I was referring to the Governor of Idaho, who is a RWNJ, but he’s consistent in his nutjobbery, he fought loudly against the Patriot Act, he has (on occasion) pushed back against the extreme right in Idaho, and he’s even sounded like he might think some RWNJ ideas won’t work.

          • bupkus231

            I thought you were referring to Otter in response to rosenbomb’s “…Hispanic tea partier…” – but, for all I know, Otter might be Hispanic, too….

          • Arolpin

            Nope, he’s a generic white guy. Was married to one of J.R. Simplot’s daughters, but that ended in divorce, due to (probably several instances of) infidelity.
            (He also famously won a Hot Buns or Tight Jeans or similar contest at Shorty’s before he was elected Gov, and he also defended his DUI by claiming that any alcohol they smelled on his breath came from his habit of placing an apple slice soaked in booze in his Copenhagen can to keep it moist.)

          • rosenbomb

            Ha, I never thought I would be sad to see ol’ Butch leave, that’s for sure. He’s not my favorite, but he’s been relatively predictable, which is a good thing in these trying times.

          • mike

            You think you arent? Do you have even one belief that isnt party line liberal?

      • From Russia with Love

        At least she has airbags when she rides.

        • jodyleek

          Yeah, in her head.

      • therblig

        just keep riding without a helmet, honey.

      • jodyleek

        Is this the special Harley edition of RWNJ Barbie?

      • bupkus231

        Just another stupid publicity stunt for her gun range….

    • mike

      You spend a lot of time judging people. Why?

  • BadKitty904

    The former big pharma CEO and Bush 43 alumni, Alex Azar, is Trump’s new HHS nominee, and he swore that his experience in big pharma makes him the only person who can convince drug makers to lower the soaring cost of opioids.

    Thanks, GOP!!1!

    (OK, OK, I’ll stop.)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You’re welcome, West Virginia!

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    “With the Jan. 19 budget deadline looming, Democrats are considering a government shutdown over DACA.”

    I’m so torn on this. If I thought it would work, I would be all for it, but as fucking important as it is, the GOP honestly gives no shits.

    I’m doped on up on cold meds but I assume y’all know what I mean.

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie
    • Oblios_Cap

      Good for her!

      • From Russia with Love

        I still think I will boycott this show that I would never go to even if it was free and I got a pet chameleon.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          From the picture, it looks like you’ll need to have a very strong appetite for the American flag.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          How would you know if you had a pet chameleon?

          • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

            Charges from “Bob’s Reptile World” start showing up on your credit card statements.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Dollywood is on my list of places I’d like to see, though I think I would probably end up liking the idea of it much better than the reality, St. Dolly of Parton notwithstanding.

      • MynameisBlarney

        My sis had her honeymoon there, she said it’s fucking awesome.

      • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

        It can be quite fun (though I’ve not been in….oh lord, I’m old). Supposedly, if Dolly’s actually at the park, they fly her brassiere from the flagpole.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      That Slate(if I remember right) article that a WOC wrote about it was really good. I hope they change the content of the show too to reflect the change.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Cool, used ta know a guy that worked at the Dixie Stampede in Myrtle Beach.
      Never realized they were that glitzy.
      I always imagined as a really low budget affair.

      • bupkus231

        Chain of BBQ joints called the “Dixie Pig” – never made me want to stop in….

    • Msgr_MΩment

      /dixie joke

    • PubOption

      So, the Dixie Chicks are now the last Confederate apologists in the music business.

      • SterWonk

        The large number of people from the former Confederacy who burned their CDs in outrage at… saying something obvious about Bush, would tend to disagree with you on that one. :-)

  • SadDemInTex

    I hope the rape victim sues somebody’s ass. WTF is wrong with the media?

  • Nounverb911

    That’s gonna be a lot of ‘Frequent Flyer Miles’….
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/950887701863174144

    • OneYieldRegular

      “Contestants will now make their way to Atlanta…”

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Fuck that Florida exemption. They should park a fucking oil rig right off the coast of Mar-A-Lago if Trump loves oil drilling so much.

    • Nounverb911

      Michael Moore has proposed that.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I have it on good authority (David Brooks, of the failing New York Times) that we’re doing it wrong:

    https://nyti.ms/2EprLLc

    • BadKitty904

      I heard my husband laughing in the other room yesterday. When I asked him what was so funny, he showed me this article.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How long has David been in on the conspiracy, and what does the FSB have on him?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Is he high?

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        On his own farts? Possibly.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Even if one grants Brooks’ basic premise here – that anti-Trumpers are guilty of hyperbole and caricature – he fails to consider the possibility that there may be strategic value in maintaining that narrative in order to sway the electorate.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        Good point. If 30 years if Clinton-bashing has taught us anything…

      • Gayer Than Thou

        And it’s of a piece with a trope that says that all dissenters on the left (every single one) must at all times maintain a perfectly balanced tone so that those on the right can be persuaded. In this trope, those on the right always come across as open-minded and rational, despite needing the message to come to them in exactly the right form and despite the evidence of the disaster that is right in front of them.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Does he ever tire of being wrong? I’m just wondering how he continues to stay employed. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a0963044facf0226dfff1aab1ee0a16dc2fa7b5689bab4c21a37aab9f170b38.png

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        I wonder that too. Think of the money the Times would save if they dumped him, Douthat, Modo and Friedman.

      • From Russia with Love

        Let me start with just a single observation. You are a dumbfuck.

      • Red Richmond

        The only 3 observations is be able to take seriously from him would be about his own butthole, his colon, and his lower intestine. You know, from having his head so far up his ass.

    • therblig

      and now i only have 4 free nyt articles left. sorry i wasted one on that drivel.

      • cmd resistor

        The most drivel-y drivel I’ve seen for a while.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Incognito windows are your friend, Mr. Blig.

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          multiple browsers as well.

    • cmd resistor

      Hard to pick out the dumbest phrase but this is a contender: “recipe for epistemic closure.”

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        And then he doesn’t even give the recipe!

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      “The president of the United States is a monumentally ignorant, delusional, racist, misogynistic, lazy, corrupt, unstable, mendacious asshole with fascist tendencies, who poses a serious danger to the peace and stability of the entire planet!”

      Brooks: “Shhh! Somebody might hear you!”

    • capnkrunch

      I couldn’t make it past this:

      Third, the White House is getting more professional. Imagine if Trump didn’t tweet. The craziness of the past weeks would be out of the way, and we’d see a White House that is briskly pursuing its goals […]

      • From Russia with Love

        Trump hasn’t done anything “briskly” in forty years.

      • jodyleek

        “Imagine if Trump didn’t tweet?” So, pretending 45 is presidential is going to solve everything. Got it.

        • capnkrunch

          “He’s getting more professional as long as you ignore the unprofessional stuff.”

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Classic example of begging the question.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
      • From Russia with Love

        Also, the shift in our Pakistan policy? You mean the shift from having little influence to having none?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Fuck that asshole. Some of Trump’s most strident critics-Steve Schmidt, Rick Wilson, Kristol, Nicolle Wallace- are Republicans who both know him and a great number of people who work for him, and verify all the horrible shit we know about him and his lickspittles.

  • capnkrunch
    • cmd resistor

      This comes after articles saying, hey, this oil thing might help Bill Nelson if Scott runs against him. Scott/Voldemort is trying to convince Floridians that he is an environmental guy.

  • BadKitty904
    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Yeah, I’m confused about that. There have been, what, about three months that have elapsed since Monday? Seems like we should be further along in the week.

      • BadKitty904

        Republican treason and incompetence is beginning to warp time itself…

  • Nounverb911
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Some turtle populations in the Great Barrier Reef are almost exclusively female thanks to global warming,

    99 tortoiettes to every boy…

  • MynameisBlarney

    Toldja Flawda wasn’t gonna let any oil rigs offshore.
    But I bet Ol’ Stinke is gonna try to force this on the coastal blue states.

  • schmannity

    I have reason to believe that there is a multi billion barrel ocean of oil just off the coast of Mar A Lago.

    Anyone remember how the GOP attacked Democrats as hypocrites for opposing wind turbines off Cape Cod and Nantucket?

    • TundraGrifter

      Remember when Mr. Trump objected to wind turbines off the coast near one of his golf courses? I believe that was in Scotland.

      • Hesavebread!

        Yes it was, and we built them anyway.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Just after that he started work on his golf course in Ireland, and someone applied for planning permission to build a wind farm next to it. The Irish are wonderful people.

          • Hesavebread!

            My favourite is the guy next to Turnberry who flies a Mexican flag any time Trump is there.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Sorta OT, but how do people refrain from just bitch-slappin the ever-livin shit outta trump when they’re sittin beside and he tells a blatant lie?

    • CripesAmighty
      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, that would make me far more likely to get all slappy on that fuckin traitor.

    • Nounverb911

      Handcuffs?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Money. There is never any other reason to be that close to D45. Ever.

    • TundraGrifter

      “Bitch-slappin'” is a pathetic term on just so many levels. Go with “dope slap” if you must.

    • rocktonsam

      Earmarks…

    • From Russia with Love

      Fear of catching whatever he’s got?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Ah yes, the dreaded Orange Fucktard Syndrome.

  • Bright Bart

    speaking of Russian Fuckery, please please take a look at this EXCELLENT article in Washington Monthly by Roger Mcnamee. It is a very detailed account of some things you already know about trolls, bots and nefarious Russian attempts to weaponize our bottomless stupidity. Cannot recommend enough!

    https://washingtonmonthly.com/magazine/january-february-march-2018/how-to-fix-facebook-before-it-fixes-us/

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1ec90fe17781be02f323ea55ddbfe9d281f31d04b36cb806f07a5e32fbe0f86e.gif

  • Oblios_Cap

    the telecoms just buried any chance for Nashville to build its own cheaper, faster, locally owned Internet service.

    But they’ll be nice to us after net neutrality is eliminated. Sure.

    • TootsStansbury

      This is the kind of thing that makes me a socialist.

      • Me not sure

        It should be.

    • Me not sure

      The city owned Internet service in Chattanooga virtually shut the big commercial
      services out. They provide faster service at a cheaper price to any residents or businesses in the city limits. Profits go into providing amenities to the citizenry.
      This is unacceptable to the big ISPs who have poured money into lobbying in order to outlaw it elsewhere.

  • Nounverb911
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Peter Pan Donald Trump is the sun the moon and the stars!

      -Tiger Lily

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Dunno ’bout Donnie, but *I’m* sure as fuck Thor. Altho pretty Thick & Tired…

    • bupkus231

      Good timing on this tweet – Rump ain’t scheduled for his exam for another coupla days ( and I’m still expecting him to skip it )…

      • Maxine Headroom

        I think he’ll show up, but refuse to release the results when the exam shows what years of living on McDonald’s has done to his health. He probably thinks he’s, like, so healthy, just the healthiest president ever.

      • chortlingdingo

        I’m kind of curious about how much weight he’s gained.

  • Parakeetist

    Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Puppy noses!

  • Me not sure

    I’m stocking up on popcorn in anticipation of the Republican Senate Primary debate in Arizona.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You’d be better off stocking up on tin foil.

      • puredog

        Use Jiffy Pop and then after cooking simply transfer the ballooned foil to your head. Efficiency!

        • From Russia with Love

          MAGA!

    • Blanche de Shambles

      I am stocking up on Clonazepam for the same reason.

      • Me not sure

        Can you get it buttered?

      • cheetojeebus

        Garret’s has a new flavor, Cheddar, Clonazepam and Caramel.

        • Blanche de Shambles

          Screw that- I’m not lining up with all those damn tourists.

    • Andy

      By “debate,” you mean “poo-flinging.”

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Why did that nasty judge use a phrase like ‘a flawed legal premise’? He should use words Donnie can understand.

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      Hard to write a legal opinion using only the words in grade one reading primers.

      • KnaveOfSwords

        Sessions dumb! No law good! DACA shutdown FAIL!!! SAD!!!!!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Coincidentally, Trump owes one of those banks $130 million.

    You’d think a stable genius multi billionaire could pay that with change he found in an old coat.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      That’s what happens when you tip the pee hookers too much because you get the conversion rate between Dollars and Roubles the wrong way around.

    • cheetojeebus

      That’s a consensual amount of lucre.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Mike McAlary was a canary in the journalism coal mine. He was a pig, but he was their pig, and he’s become an ex post facto saint since he died of cancer.

  • therblig

    OT, but isn’t this the “And I won’t be having sex for awhile” lady?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/52f350c7f19ff18f3f7f1de95a91c9588606b2506a2a6e2a710da7f2ec5c97ea.jpg

    • puredog

      Yes.

    • PubOption

      At least she not in an ad for an STD clinic.

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Don’t tell me how to live my life you whippersnapper! Maybe I already took off all my clothes! I’m home alone this week so I can do what I want. I had a bowl of chili at 5 this morning and I’m eating an orange while drinking black coffee and you can’t stop me!

    Disclaimer: Granny is a never nude and has not in fact taken off all her clothes. There are dozens of us! Dozens!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Trump snow skiing?
    HAHAHAHAHA…..

    • eyelashviper

      I know, that image in my mind was pretty hilarious.
      Something akin to a hog being strapped to a board and sent off down the mountain.

  • coozledad

    Tell you something else about NC. In the NC House 2 race, the incumbent Republican who benefited from that gerrymandering, Larry Yarborough, is now issuing personal threats against his likely opponent, former Creedmoor Mayor Darryl Moss. I’m sure there are a lot of oiks in the various Klan/Nazi affiliated groups in the Person /Granville area that would be happy to get up to some violent shit.

    Hell, the former Republican DA in Person County, Wallace Bradsher, continues to believe he is above the law, even though his grifty ass is going to go to jail:
    http://www.greensboro.com/news/crime/bradsher-hit-with-felony-indictments-in-long-running-case-of/article_1236af20-3bc1-5daa-b245-5202a43ab488.html

  • ManchuCandidate

    Huawei is the pot calling the kettle black as the US Amercian wireless providers are shitheads (dealt with them) but Huawei is also shit too. Stealing Cisco’s router code and also hacking into competitors laptops and stealing bid information. I know because I used to work for one of their competitors.

    No innocents in Telcom.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “The Trump administration is attempting to restrict “unmasking” of US citizens caught in international surveillance operations…

    To keep us safe.

  • Ellie

    I loved how he said he would take the heat. He can’t take someone looking at him crosswise without his thin skin starting to hemorrhage and yanking out his twit machine.

    • BadKitty904

      I just impressed that everyone else present didn’t burst into uncontrollable laughter.

    • shivaskeeper

      Take the heat is Trumpian for blaming someone else.

  • shivaskeeper

    Lady mechanics? Next thing you’ll tell me that ladies can do anything.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      45 years ago I once ran a homebuilding program through the FmHA, like Jimmy Carter’s program on steroids. Groups of families building their own houses together were their own little construction company. Acting as a kind of foreman/educator, I found that the women were much better at electrical and plumbing installation – neater, more thorough. Their mains were better organized, their drains held pressure more often. Just wondering why women have not embraced these fields…

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Most likely because the men in charge have made it impossible for them to make it through the apprenticeship program.

      • shivaskeeper

        One of the other vets I work with is a diesel mechanic. His sons are diesel mechanics. Not small block/small tuck stuff either. Large diesel tractors and heavy equipment. He was complaining that his daughter got into Job Corps to be a heavy equipment mechanic. She’s following in her own father’s footsteps and he is complaining because she might not be able to lift a heavy equipment starter into place.

        Women get shut out of the jobs because everyone knows women can;t do do them. They can’t do the math, or use the tools, or read the diagrams, or if all else fails they are just too physically weak. Also since the jobs are male dominated, we all know the ladies are just trying to get the jobs so they can sue for harassment or feminize whatever field they are trying to work in. Everyone thinks it, and everyone who does the hiring acts on that knowledge.

        • Impatient

          And, pardon the literal note, but we end up with mental midgets with somewhat bigger muscles, because they’re male. I worked with them in the Navy. Some men can think … and some can’t.

          • Yellerduck

            I’m trying to think, but nothin’s coming out!

          • Impatient

            Ease up. Have more covfefe. ;-)

          • bupkus231
          • Yellerduck

            That’s what I was aiming for! I was just too lazy to look it up. Thanks!

          • shivaskeeper

            It’s never about the muscles anyway. Thinking the problem through is the key. Many moons ago I used to run a rappel tower on the weekends at one of my posts. 70′ wall and dual ziplines to practice using parachute risers, 40′ platform with no wall, and 33′ wall.

            After we ran people through hip seat rappelling and Aussie style on the walls and the platform we would set up a rope off the platform and send people up using ascenders.

            When we briefed that part I would put out a challenge. I would guarantee any women out there would make it to the top of the rope and maybe 1 in 10 males would, of any at all. All the guys wold laugh about that. I rarely saw a woman not make the top of the rope and just as rarely saw a man make it.

            Guys would try to muscle their way up and usually crap out at 20-25 feet. The women knew they couldn’s just muscle it, thought about it for a minute, and almost invariably figured out the right way to do it. Since I was an NCO and everything was a training event to me, that was always a good time to point out preconceived notions and how they can be wrong and how you shouldn’t dismiss what people can and can’t do because of gender.

          • Impatient

            Our ballistic missle boat actually pulled up the river to Groton, CT navy base once, in the late 70s. I happened to be topside, and was amazed to see that the tug that would keep our lumbering whale off the banks was entirely “manned” by young women. OK, just one stereotypically overweight, cigar smoking Chief Petty Officer in charge. I thought, Damn, look at those muscles, those forearms. No way I could handle heavy lines like that, or ever want to face them in a bar. And I was glad to see how good they were at their job.

          • shivaskeeper

            Very good.

      • Dg Hacket

        In the days of ancient Rome it is said that the plumbers were women

      • eyelashviper

        It is exceedingly difficult for women to get into those fields unless they start their own company. The kind of treatment they receive, from being ignored to being harassed is widespread, so it takes a fierce woman to put up with all the bs.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Melania knew, when he got elected, that there would be consensuals…

    • Doug Langley

      “I like to con people . . . and I like being sensual . . . it works!!”

  • Cock Blockula

    So Alex Jones needs to get to the bottom of this turtle sex change phenomenon, but at least the turtles aren’t GHEY like their distant froggie cousins… (or are they???? Hengghhh???)

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Democrats are fed up with Republicans stalling on Russia-related stuff, and Maryland Sen. Ben Cardin just released a report calling for more Russian sanctions and safeguards against inevitable Russian election fuckery.

    Clever poison pill. If the GOP fights it, we can ask, so, you’re OKAY with hostile foreign powers interfering with American elections?

    • bupkus231

      I dunno – I never associated Ben Cardin with “clever”. He’s no Louie Gohmert, but he’s doesn’t appear to be that deep a thinker ( from my time in MD ).

      Maybe some staffers came up with it.

      • Impatient

        May or may not be clever or great. But he’s trying to do the right thing, day in and day out. And please, it’s fairly mean to even mention someone in relation to Gomer. Talk about Libelz. (still in MD. just disagreeing.)

        • bupkus231

          Is Cardin up in 2018? I know I voted for Van Hollen before I left Maryland, and yeah, Cardin was first elected in 2006 ( I voted for Kwame in the 2006 primary, but when the time came, I voted for Ben, twice ).

          I kinda remember not being pleased with his Israel embrace. especially the Israel Anti-Boycott Act ( he was a sponsor ), to penalize businesses that joined international boycotts of Israeli goods/services. He also had some “updates” to the 1917 Espionage Act that would have made it tougher for whistleblowers to act, but that never made it into law….

          • Impatient

            Sure enough. He IS up in 2018. Okay, I’ll take another look. And sorry, but I have a hard time thinking about getting Warren over tRump these days, or Sanders over Cruz, or whatever. Sometimes, we’ll lose it all. Like 2016, 2017, 2018. Biggest losing years I can remember in my 63 years. But yes, I’ll take another look.

          • bupkus231

            I just peeked at Wiki, and there doesn’t seem to be any serious challenge to Cardin for the Dem nod ( altho’ the names of the “declared” candidates are unfamiliar ). So far, the Republican side looks even weaker than it was against Van Hollen – just “some guy” named Sam Faddis, who’s only “qualification” seems to be that he once worked for the CIA ( he already lost in 2016, in the GOP primary to oppose Steny Hoyer ).

            I think Ben will win a landslide. What I wanna see is if Hogan gets shitcanned. I was shocked when he won in 2015 – and altho’ he’s said to be “not that bad”, I have become so disillusioned with today’s GOP, I don’t want any of those fuckers in ANY office – not even dogcatcher

          • Impatient

            Can’t agree enough. It is simply NOT SAFE to have a Republican in ANY office in Maryland. I know that we’re fortunate to be a state that’s at least somewhat protected by a well-funded/liberal government, given that the Shitgibbon is in the White House, and the baby shitgibbons are all over Congress. But you can’t count on ANY Republican to do the right thing, no matter how he tries to play the ‘moderate’ game.

            I’m thinking of 2018 bumper stickers along the lines of “Republicans are traitors!”

    • Toledo Window Box

      Only if the hostile foreign power helps THEM. Then they’re fine with it.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        True. But the optics of it are a tad problematic for the Kick-Ass USA crowd they depend on.

  • Cock Blockula

    RE: HB-1 visa holders… So he sends them back to India where they then take jobs with InfoSys (India-based high-tech shop) or others which companies in the U.S. will hire because it is cheaper to have these services performed offshore. Payroll tax revenue decreases (yes, those HB-1 folks pay taxes and buy lots of stuff while they are here). I guess their money and brains just aren’t good enough.

    I know that this has been a big bone of contention in the tech world for years… that the HB-1 folks lower wages for native tech workers. It’s true, but deporting them would create a vacuum. Wages for tech folks might go up due to demand, but the corporate overlords will just hire an offshore company to pick up the slack, and end up paying U.S. tech folks even less.

    • TundraGrifter

      This will also be, in the long run, a huge boost to the high tech industry in India because many of the best and the brightest will stay in the country, work for start-ups, start start-ups, consult with existing firms to make them better, etc., etc.

    • Impatient

      I’ve heard that major software companies in the US, if they can’t solve a problem during a workday, essentially just ship it to their Indian partners overnight, and that Indian programmers are thrown at the problem by the tens or hundreds, relative to US companies. An amazing technical arrangement/feat, if you think about it. I mean, it’s daytime on the other side of our flat planet sometimes.

      But I guess kicking them all out is kinder than, say, killing them in a bar. (Just snarkifying. Don’t mind me.)

      • Cock Blockula

        Almost every company I’ve worked for since the late 1990s has done this to some extent. Even my current one. It’s nice to throw a problem out there in the evening before you log off, and miraculously have the problem solved and in your in-box by morning.

    • kareemachan

      Unfortunately, with the way the repugs are gutting our educational system, they are turning out better people for the jobs.

  • Impatient

    Good (late) morning.

    I’m trying to rest up for the last round of gutting my 100 year old kitchen. If you ever consider gutting such an old kitchen, at least give some thought to how many layers of remodeling you’ll encounter … and consider burning it down instead. ;-) (Just kidding, insurance company.)

    But am I so tired that I can’t handle a simple Huffington Post headline?

    “Senate Dems: We Have a Putin Problem.”

    Sooo … What day is it? What year is it? This is why 2017 was so nuts. The press, which at least reflects back and clarifies things we’re thinking about, is now telling us that tRump never wanted to be Preznit, that he’s incompetent, and that he’s in lurrve with Putin. Now? Finally? (yelling) Jesus Fucking Christ!!!!!!!!!!

    • eyelashviper

      I lived in a house ONCE that we totally gutted and built from scratch…NEVER AGAIN.
      Good luck, be sure to have sufficient stuff on hand to calm the nerves…morphine drips are excellent.

    • Cock Blockula

      Feel for you, having just survived a kitchen remodel last summer…

    • kareemachan

      We are still using old cupboard doors for our kitchen counters, with the new IKEA ones sitting forlornly in the office. And then there are the floors, which are still mis-matched pieces of an old handball court floor, so there are weird red lines randomly strewn across it.

      And then there’s….

      Yup, never-ending project is never-ending.

    • Oi. We did a small portion of the kitchen (counter and sink) a couple years back. (House is like 1903). It was a nightmare and i was the GC. Can’t imagine what you’re having to deal with…

  • eyelashviper

    Don’t we all feel so safe and secure with Grassley, Lindsay, the Hoofwanker, et al managing our lives so well??

    https://image.cagle.com/205005/373/205005.png

  • Toledo Window Box

    Some turtle populations in the Great Barrier Reef are almost exclusively female thanks to global warming

    Paging Mitch McConnell – fertile hunting at the Great Barrier Reef, dude.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    It occurred to me that when all the people mentioned in the Dossier who colluded with Russia are finally convicted, that whoever had the idea to commission the Dossier ought to be a national hero. But upon reflection, I realize that it doesn’t work that way. Daniel Ellsberg ought to be a national hero, but he isn’t, and Carl Bernstein, Bob Woodward and Mark Felt ought to be national heroes, but they aren’t.

    • TundraGrifter

      Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward certainly are national heroes – just ask them.

      • Arolpin

        And Mark Felt got a full-page story in the Twin Falls Times-News right before he died, so that worked out well for him. (He is actually the hero in this story, because even though he was VERY conservative, he understood that Nixon was criminal, corrupt, and complicit and so he spoke up. He really did place country over party.)

  • TundraGrifter

    So Mr. Trump’s attorney is suing Buzzfeed. What happens during discovery? Can Cohen keep claiming he doesn’t have to share information based on attorney-client privilege or is that now gone because he initiated the lawsuit?

  • Mr. White

    Senator Durbin’s expression in that photo says it all. “Crap, I have to sit next to the circus peanut.”

    • You know they drew straws. And the loser gets a nose plug.

  • susan_g

    I’d like everyone to know that former car thief and congressional shitheel Darrel Issa has announced that he will retire at the end of his term.

    • ltmcdies

      hahahahahahahahahahhaaaahhahahahahaaa

      I follow a couple of his constituents on the tweeter and they’ve been saying his seat was in peril.

      guess they were right

      • kareemachan

        He won his last election by only 1600 votes, so….

    • bupkus231

      One more down… [ altho’ I’d prefer all these “retirees” to be “resigners” ]

      • Impatient

        Arrestees?

    • Impatient

      Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Calling him the ultimate asshole is unkind to all the assholes of the world. Maybe he can go back to arson or something. Or selling hair oil products. Or, hey, setting said oil on fire!!!!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      But how will he continue to investigate Hillary?

  • ltmcdies

    so it’s James Franco’s turn in the barrel is it.

    I think of him kind of like I think of Kevin Spacey…..good actor, interesting, even amusing interview but somehow off putting in that “I can’t quite put my finger on it” way.

    Oh maybe I can put my finger on it…Franco and the rest of his bro crowd come across like an entitled bunch of assholes.

    • TakingAmes

      Anyone who is shocked by the idea that James Franco is a sex monster hasn’t been paying attention.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Don’t take off all your clothes? Fine. I’ll leave my socks on.

  • Yellerduck

    Mike Pence and Ivanka at the Olympics! Are they going to be the mixed-doubles team for the 100m perp walk?

    • ltmcdies

      I guess they can’t trust his nibs to not incite WWIII if he goes to South Korea, huh.

    • kareemachan

      Now wait, is the human q-tip going without MOTHER?! And with another WOMAN?

      • TakingAmes

        I’m sure Mother is also going, just not in a “representing the US” kind of way. There’s no way Pence would allow himself to be alone with Vanky. He’s seen what can happen when Donald’s alone with her.

        Ew. Sorry. I’ll show myself out.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Dom-the death penalty entry has the word two twice (ironically).

    Otherwise, well done.

  • ScottGoode

    So my new favorite theory (that I just made up but I am sure someone else has thought of it). Trump is going to Davos, Switzerland and when he steps off of Air Force One he is going to request political asylum for his family and himself. That is granted (because he is rich and while) and they stay and fight extradition. When they lose they head east. It’s flawless.
    Plus if he does that without resigning the presidency it will be a real effing mess.

    • From your mouth to god’s ear.

    • TundraGrifter

      In my distant memory is the thought that extradition from Switzerland to the US of A for financial fraud and other crimes is rather difficult. Perhaps I’m thinking of just tax evasion? As I recall, in order to grant extradition the crime one is accused of in America has to also be a crime in Switzerland. Obstruction of justice by the President of the United States? Also – perhaps not so much.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    inre veterans pods:

    I’m only familiar with the ones we have in TX, but they require the residents of them to commit to returning as mentors to future veterans and we’ve implemented a large amount of veterans advocacy groups’ wish list about preventing them from going into prison in the first place. everyone agrees that prevention is the best solution and no one wants to be accused of being anti-#supportourtroops.

  • SerialParkingViolator

    I’m going to have to stop reading Wonkette, or at least the Wonkagenda, while at work. Or I’m going to have to adjust my meds or start day-drinking (not that there’s anything wrong with that…). This seriously triggers the f**k out of my rage.

  • TundraGrifter

    From time to time when I’m driving around (something I often must do for work) I listen to right wing radio gasbags (for a while, anyway). Just to hear the other side. And I continue to be surprised how the “other side” consists of just made-up bullshit. This morning, Boss “I wasn’t wrong; I was misinformed” BlunderRush started spouting off on immigration. He said 80% of the people in America didn’t know there was no legal immigration to the US of A between 1921 and 1965 (when Sen. Kennedy got the law changed).

    Counting myself among that 80%, I took a few moments to research it on the Internets. Of course it’s a complete and total lie. Why am I surprised? I guess I just remain naïve.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Gee, a Chinese business exec is criticizing the U.S. for having a closed market? Who’d a thunk it?

  • kareemachan

    And iwanka thought she could run for prez….

  • kareemachan

    ‘A large group of reptiles, including crocodilians and many species of
    turtles, use the ambient temperature. If the eggs are above a certain
    temperature during a critical period in their incubation, the animal
    will be likely to develop as a female; below that temperature, you’re
    more likely to get a male.’

    Well, as Alex would point out, at least they aren’t gay….

    • But isn’t being “trans” worse? (grin)

  • thepoliticalcat

    Dominic, pls fix H/L extra r unneeded thx.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      He’s referring to Herre, Iceland.

  • david spikes

    The looks on the faces of the men sitting on either side of Trump are priceless. Not even right wing hacks can pretend that he’s not crazed.

  • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

    Trevor Noah does an uncanny Lord Dampnut voice.

  • Interior Secretary and grifty bastard Ryan Zinke has given Florida an exemption from its new oil company free-for-all after Republican Rick Scott whined that oil companies might ruin Florida’s tourism industry; now EVERYONE up and down the East and West coasts is calling bullshit.

    Nobody goes to the East and West coasts anymore…

    It’s too crowded with tourists.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/ouzyKYPoUJIPu/giphy.gif

  • phoenix00

    Can’t we just call Jeff Sessions a “flawed legal premise?”

  • phoenix00

    Female Turtles? Mitch McConnell last seen filing for divorce. Hurriedly.

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