SHARE
We wish you luck in your future endeavors.

BREAKING! MONEY TALKS, AND BULLSHIT WALKS! After Rebekah Mercer pulled her funding, Steve Bannon is out at Dead Breitbart’s Home For Beta Cuck Manbabies.

Stephen K. Bannon has stepped down from Breitbart News Network, where he served as Executive Chairman since 2012.

Bannon and Breitbart will work together on a smooth and orderly transition.

Bannon said, “I’m proud of what the Breitbart team has accomplished in so short a period of time in building out a world-class news platform.”

According to Breitbart CEO Larry Solov, “Steve is a valued part of our legacy, and we will always be grateful for his contributions, and what he has helped us to accomplish.”


So much for having his hands back on his weapons. After just five or thirty G&Ts, Bannon dropped his guard and told that devious, globalist deep state writer Jew dude what he really thinks about Donald Trump’s idiot spawn.

The three senior guys in the campaign thought it was a good idea to meet with a foreign government inside Trump Tower in the conference room on the 25th floor – with no lawyers. They didn’t have any lawyers.

Even if you thought that this was not treasonous, or unpatriotic, or bad shit, and I happen to think it’s all of that, you should have called the FBI immediately.

Wait, are you saying that DJ and Jared are dimwitted amateurs, too stupid to even know they were committing treason? Ouch. Better get to groveling, Steve.

Donald Trump, Jr. is both a patriot and a good man. He has been relentless in his advocacy for his father and the agenda that has helped turn our country around.

And???? Come on, Axios is waiting!

My comments were aimed at Paul Manafort, a seasoned campaign professional with experience and knowledge of how the Russians operate. He should have known they are duplicitous, cunning and not our friends. To reiterate, those comments were not aimed at Don Jr.

Well, it was nice of you to debase yourself, buddy.

You broke the first rule of Fucking Moron Club, Steve. YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING MORON! It’s fine that we all know he’s an illiterate idiot. But we don’t say it out loud!

So now you can go be a revolutionary somewhere else, ’cause you and Donny are nevernevernever getting back together. I mean NEVER. All your ratty shirts in the box to the left! Also, too Bye, Felicia!

Thus concludes all our knowledge of popular culture. And Steve Bannon’s career. SAD! Pour one out for Ol’ Liverspots!

Please make some funnier jokes below in this YOUR OPEN THREAD!!!! And keep watching Evan, who is still blogging the shit out of that Fusion GPS testimony! GO, EVAN, GO!

Follow your FDF on the tweeters!

Give us money! It is always scoop o’clock with these sumbitches!

[NYTimes / Axios / Breitbart]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Steve Bannon looks like something Luke Skywalker would milk.

  • aureolaborealis

    Imagine my horror when I realized that, in the top photo, Bannon is WEARING MAKEUP to make him look more presentable! Jesus Christ, dude! That’s what you look like AFTER the makeup artists have had their way with you?

  • Tetman Callis

    Being shoved out of the cockpit while in-flight is not “stepping down.”

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      On small step for man, one giant leap for the shovee.

  • Sashineb
    • kaydenpat

      And one cock is down and badly injured. May the same fate meet the other cock.

  • marxalot

    how can all his shirts be in the box to the left when he is wearing them all simultaneously again?

  • BadKitty904

    Good God. Should somebody check on Evan? Is he OK?

  • You know, fellas who suck their own cock just don’t get the same respect that they did, like, a week or two ago.

  • William
  • memzilla Ω

    That thing on his forehead hairline, upper right in the pic, always reminds me of one of those Star Trek brainworms just beginning to tunnel its way out.

    • The Wanderer

      The Ceti Alpha V eelworms?

      • SterWonk

        Ceti eels.

  • JaveyDay

    Poor Pauper Bannon cast aside to live forever alone in the squalor of his demented soul.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/347fefca26ad920ad266f2547eb05a7c7392b43696e30705f45d7674a5e2e609.jpg

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Obi Wan Shitnobi.

    • Zonath

      ^^ Screencap from the movie “Bray, Fart”

      • JaveyDay

        Bravefart.

    • kaydenpat

      Truly a face only a racist could love.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    *fingers crossed* Please let this be the first of many rethuglicans to get tossed out on their irresponsible, traitorous asses.

    • theCryptofishist

      Not to mention that let Breitbart be unable to function without him.

      • kaydenpat

        Didn’t they do without him while he was in the White House? I think they’ll be fine pushing their rightwing propaganda (which consist of lies) without him.

        • theCryptofishist

          Don’t piss on my dream, man.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      Oscar the Grouch libel!

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        Garbage libel!

    • kaydenpat

      Please don’t compare Bannon to Oscar the Grouch. Oscar was a decent puppet without a racist bone in his fuzzy body.

  • JMP

    You idiot with an overblown ego, brainwashed braindead cultists follow their cult’s leader, not his now-former right-hand man; the deplorables see Donald as their God-King, and you were just his high priest, once you turned against him it was absolutely moronic to think they’d remain with you.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    My Schadenfreude meter is pegging out like mad!

    • theCryptofishist

      Heheh, you said “pegging.”

    • SDGeoff3

      Enjoy, dahling, enjoy!!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Nonsense. He quit to spend more time with his penis.

    • JaveyDay

      It’s a very stable penis.

      • SDGeoff3

        The best penis.

        • puredog

          A genis penis

  • ForePlinger

    I’ll bet they didn’t even give him a cardboard box, for his stuff, not to live in. Although…

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Bannon looks like the guy Jesus mistakingly keeps trying to cure of leprosy.

    Jesus: “Hmmm, you know this normally works.. *rolls up sleeves*”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Get Thee behind me, Santa.”

  • The Wanderer

    What’s the “K” stand for? Koprophage?

    • BadKitty904

      Kooties?

    • theCryptofishist

      KKK?

    • Bobathonic

      Kahlua?

    • Crank Tango

      Klan

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Strike three, yer Out!

    • commatoes

      How dare you demean the memory of Divine.

      Her name should not be included in anything to do with the festering pustule named Steve Bannon.

      • Yeah, but Divine did it just that one time. For ART.

        Coprophagy as a lifestyle choice is different entirely.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      AOT,K.

    • ArgieBargie

      Kakistocracy.

  • elviouslyqueer
    • Villago Delenda Est

      And she does it with an absolutely straight face, too!

  • Major^3 Andre

    In memoriam of the surgical removal of the necrotic skin tag and ball of syphillitic pus that wore a Steve Bannon suit.
    https://media1.tenor.com/images/2351748403da2d948da2271af3e57766/tenor.gif?itemid=4781214

  • SomeBigRedDog

    I thought the two collared shirt thing was just for casual, hanging around the office time. But no, the idiot sits for PROFESSIONAL PHOTOS looking that idiotic.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Ivanka Trump, or his own, rival label?

    • theCryptofishist

      One wonders what they must have said about him behind his back at Goldman Sachs.

      • Mary Stone

        mid-level bottom feeder is what I’ve heard. Also too:

        LOSER

  • goonemeritus

    We never fired Rebecca and she also said mean things about Trump and his kid’s. How is this fair?

    • SDGeoff3

      Well, for one thing, she is King.

    • puredog

      She signs the checks.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Steve Bannon – too honest for the Mercers. OK, then.

  • kaydenpat

    And he was such a nice fellow. Wouldn’t hurt a fly (as long as that fly is straight, White and Conservative).

  • Crank Tango

    Well, I was only 9 months off on my predicted fall of Steve Bannon.

    • Jackie Jones

      That was a good thing you did there, Billy. Now wish him into the cornfield!

  • William
  • Sashineb
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Well played, Sir Sloppy.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    They couldn’t find a picture of him wearing a clean jacket?

    • SDGeoff3

      You’d never recognize him.

  • Crystalclear12

    He really thought he was a kingmaker.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Oh fuck, Trump is still president.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Not after Mueller gets through with him…

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    This firing positions Bannon and O’Reilly perfectly to form a new joint you-tube channel dedicated to screaming incoherent lies. If the Mercers won’t fund them, I’m sure the Russians will.

    • Crystalclear12

      Are we certain that the Mercers aren’t Russian sleeper agents?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I…no. No we’re not.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It would be irresponsible not to speculate wildly.

  • commatoes
  • yyyaz

    “World-class news” organization. I guess we all know who else was world-class.

    • SDGeoff3

      D’nesh D’Souza, convicted felon?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The USS Nimitz?

    • memzilla Ω

      Gerardus Mercator?

      • theCryptofishist

        It’s always projection with these assholes. Always.

  • William

    I’m sure with his superior genes he’ll find some glamour media job. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/02646d3db40fb221a5b0e89b937d0c7f328a1772eb858edae2b5f20dc386f10a.jpg

  • JustPretendImNotHere

    Somehow I don’t think Bannon will go “quietly into that good night”.

    Call your brokers, there’s about to be a run on popcorn maker stocks…

    • SadDemInTex

      ? I don’t understand the popcorn maker sticks.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    My Schaden is so freude, I think Ima call a doctor.

    • SDGeoff3

      No need. Take off the pants, surround yourself with plenty of liquids, and enjoy it.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    I hope this doesn’t drive Bannon to drink!

  • goonemeritus
  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Steve Bannon is Rick Baker’s greatest creation!

      • commatoes

        Savings on the makeup budget will be HUUUUUUUUGE.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Basically, all they’ll need is a hose and some green paint.

  • JMP

    How long until CNN announces they’re hiring Bannon as a commentator?

    • Anna Rompage

      I thought it might be Glen Beck to extend an olive branch and bring him on, but CNN is a high possibility too…

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Only if they can get their hooks in him faster than MSNBC can.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Begun the bidding war has.

      • commatoes

        Opening bid, half eaten pork chop and a punch made with carburetor cleaner.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          You laugh now, but what will you be doing when he’s hosting All Things Considered?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            As long as it’s not Wait, Wait. Hell, give him Prairie Home.

          • Lambsendbeds

            Prairie Home he can have. Wait Wait needs to remain unsullied.

        • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

          I’ll see it and raise you, uh… whatever this is on my finger.

    • commatoes

      Hand sanitizer will need to be purchased in bulk from that point on.

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        Prophylactic acyclovir for all!

    • puredog

      Faux

      • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

        MSNBC, at this rate.

        • SDGeoff3

          Let him replace Joe Scarborough. At least the audience will know what they are in for.

  • Hither and Yawn

    News Network? How did I miss that ascension/apotheosis/whatever?

  • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

    This seems like a good place for my first Go Fuck Yourself, Glenn Greenwald post of 2018: https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/950706802513141760

    • memzilla Ω

      FSB (KGB) Asset sez wut?

    • elviouslyqueer

      I’m sure somebody somewhere gives a shit, Glenn. But it ain’t here and it ain’t now.

    • If there was an equivalent pundit category for football’s “Mr. Irrelevant,” Glenn would be winning it hands down.

    • puredog

      “‘Alternative facts,’ however, is a concept I can get behind.”
      — Gleen Greenwald, probably

      • SDGeoff3

        Yes, Glenn. We’ve noticed.

    • SDGeoff3

      Ppffftt.

    • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

      GG: [uses major platform to attack dude who wrote gossip book about shittiest president]
      Media Twitter: this doesn’t seem like a worthwhile project right now, Glenn
      GG: LEFTIST HYPOCRISY!!!

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        Waiting to see if Glenn will have anything to say about the NYT saying “nothing to see here” about Russia after Christopher Steele told them the opposite. *crickets*

    • goonemeritus

      Fuck Glen Greenwald. that is all.

  • memzilla Ω
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Steve Bannon is The Deadlights.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      For fuck’s sake, Steve, Valtrex isn’t THAT expensive.

    • BadKitty904

      Tonight, on The Walking Dead

    • SDGeoff3

      That’s attractive.

  • DainBramage

    How long would Blightfart keep the lights on if the Mercers pulled out?

    • yyyaz

      At $100 million per year, Pootie could keep them afloat for the next 2000 years. Um, not counting interest.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Thirty two seconds?

    • Raan

      How long can a jug of moonshine power a generator?

      • SDGeoff3

        You’re on the wrong website to be asking that.

    • Mary Stone

      there would be no lights if the Mercers pull out. The feast is over without Daddy and Daughter Master Race.

    • commatoes

      5…
      4…
      3…

  • puredog

    I’m over on the Deadfart site simultaneously, trolling it like a common TLM (though far more elegantly, if I may humbly say so). It’s kind of fun, especially since Bannon’s detractors are almost as thick on the ground as his supporters at this point in time. At any moment, I suspect I may get tired of it, though.

    • Crystalclear12

      Remember to wear protection!

      • puredog

        Okay. I got tired of it. Though, in fairness, half the responses to my provocative posts were okay (although the others were mouth-breathers of the first order). They are a little lost there right now and don’t know WHAT to believe. So sad.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I was considering posing as a Bannon supporter just to get them riled up

      • SDGeoff3

        Such a scamp you are.

  • JaveyDay
  • Jackie Jones

    So in five-dimensional chess, apparently you divide your party into three factions and somehow conquer the other party. I don’t know if even Sheldon Cooper could explain those physics.

  • DainBramage
    • BadKitty904

      Good.

  • William
  • Daniel

    Even the most flattering picture they could find of him looks like dough wrapped in slug skin and slit across with the edge of an envelope.

    Containing a poison pen letter.

    • Lambsendbeds

      That was…alliterative in the extreme ! I’m impressed.

  • William
  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Wait I though Dead Breitbart’s home for people who dont think good was against firing mediocre white conservative men?

  • Jgb979

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb07d50703ce611052264ec15e2732671ce34389d781a1adf31ede31d298a6cc.png

    That was from August 19, 2017 the day Bannon returned to Breitbart I was trying to find the headlines from that day because it was basically nothing but verbal fellatio of its conquering dark lord (fired from being the most powerful person on the planet)

    Now he has no money, no platform, no influence. Once the right wing turns its back on you, you are done forever.

    There isn’t a HAW HAW gif large enough to capture how I feel about this

  • Michael R
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      poorer…

    • BadKitty904

      Plague-carrier?

    • Crystalclear12

      Compost?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      The starter culture for a new cesspool?

      • Michael R

        “ nobody knew that cesspools could be so complicated ”

    • I think you pretty much covered it.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Trump Spiritual Advisor Wants You to Send Her Up to 1 Month’s Pay or Face ‘Consequences’
    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/paula-white-first-fruits_us_5a544603e4b01e1a4b18d2f0

    Paula White*, a prosperity gospel preacher with close ties to President Donald Trump, is calling on followers to send her donations of up to one month’s salary. Those who don’t pay up could face ‘consequences’ from God as he demands the dough as a ‘first fruits’ offering.

    *(Yes, irony is dead.)

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      As it says in the Bible: “Get the money up front.”

      • BadKitty904

        In used 20s…

        • CripesAmighty

          Unmarked.

        • puredog

          I’ve taken to defacing all the 20s that pass through my wallet with the hashtag #TRUMPTREASON.

    • efoveks

      Send up a burnt offering of your cash to God Himself and cut out Middleman Paula. That oughtta larn her!

    • DainBramage

      They sure love their petty, little god. Seems like a real god could just rapture your cash straight out of your wallet.

      • BadKitty904

        A real god doesn’t need cash.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Breitbart is hardly news, and certainly doesn’t qualify as being world class. It more or less looks like a platform, I’ll grant him that.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    All that ass kissing for nothing…

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Steve Bannon, another supergenius!

  • Blackest Noobs

    so Ha! this deserves this:

    https://youtu.be/WA4iX5D9Z64?t=42s

    but I prefer this song better to frame the situation….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSiDyYT7aIk

  • La forza del resistino

    Sheriff Joe is needing a campaign manager, Steve. And the AZ sun may help your complexion.

    • Raan

      Are you trying to get him made into a satchel for Alex Jones’s trucker speed?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The sun was never good for LeStat’s skin…

  • mardam422

    Bannon couldn’t get his nose far enough up Mercer’s ass to get out of that one.

  • Scooby

    I’m just going to pretend they fired him for supporting a pedophile.

    • commatoes

      I find your optimism refreshing.

    • They fired him because he started to become unpopular, same reason they fired Milo. You can say whatever reprehensible shit you want, as long as you bring in money.

  • CripesAmighty
  • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

    Any guesses when MSNBC will give Steve his own show?

    • commatoes

      I would love to see Rachel make him cry.

  • JaveyDay

    Bannon is making a wish to the Very Stable Genie. Will his wish be granted?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e95cc0ef8607018c2d318873ffba9cb9cc7277b5f6e43469ac8bc140f05abe2c.jpg

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • SDGeoff3

      Wonderful.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      Oh that is funny.

    • commatoes

      I love Julie Delpy. She’s like Ivanka with a functioning brain.

      • puredog

        Is that Julie Delpy? I guess that answers the question I have long had as to why Ivanka looks so familiar and, even, kinda appealing.

  • Raan

    Meanwhile in the Breitbart comment section:
    https://i.makeagif.com/media/8-12-2015/vp9cl4.gif

    • kaydenpat

      Are they really fighting to the death? How gauche! I thought they’d understand that speaking ill of one’s Fuhrer is a huge no-no.

    • ManchuCandidate

      They call that Tuesday.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        This is ruining my tacos!

    • commatoes

      I was thinking circular firing squad

      But this works.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      Help help, we’re being oppressed!

  • Jackie Jones
    • efoveks

      Wow. Looks like Ole Joan’s been hitting the G&T’s with Bannon.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Daniel

    Eleventy billion dimensional chess!!!!!!1!!!!!

    I LOVE HOW YOU LIBTARDIS’ CRY ABOT THIS!!!!!!1!!! MMMMMM LIBERAL TEARS. Delicious and depoloroable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol

    • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

      LIBTARDIS? Are they bigger on the inside?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’m just wondering how I, a Liebrul, am the real loser here.

  • Crystalclear12

    I understand several of our League of Extraordinary Non-commenters have been enjoying the live cannibalism show over at Breitbart.
    By all means drink deeply of the overflowing schadenfreude but please follow decontamination protocols upon returning.
    Thank you.

    • Shan

      I never go there for fear of tracking something back here on the bottom of my shoe.

      • Raan

        I go occasionally, but never post.

      • JMP

        I never go there for fear of helping the Nazis make money from their advertisers.

        • Shan

          And that.

    • commatoes
    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • puredog

      I place my blightart-infected shoe in the middle of these vile nasty snark mob non-comments.
      SIDE NOTE: Spoilt as I am by these environs, I interjected a “fucking” into one of my comments, and was immediately graced with a “whoa!” note. I changed it to effing, and suspect that all was then well, though I didn’t follow up.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Remember back in Ye Olde Thymes when we all thought the only reason Bannon was hanging around was because he and Trump were gonna start up their own media empire after Trump flamed out?

    • commatoes

      I remember it like it was just last year.

    • kaydenpat

      That could still happen. Who knows if Trump will be in the White House for long. He’s so erratic and Mueller is breathing down his back.

      • CripesAmighty

        Don’t know if they have production facilities at the Butner sneezer.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      I completely believe that was the plan until Trump screwed it up by winning. They were going to spend the next four years screaming BenghaziPizzagateEmailzz about President Hillary while the Republicans continued their “don’t let the black guy nasty woman get anything done” strategy and wallow in the Mercers’ money. Be careful what you wish for…

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

    It’s a sad day when you find out there’s no loyalty among Nazis.

    • efoveks

      Your snark today is uncanny.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        ;)

  • TJ Barke

    Not to love der fuhrer is a great disgrace…

  • James

    BREAKING: We win #FairMaps in North Carolina! Federal court strikes down NC's congressional voting maps as an unconstitutional partisan gerrymander and orders state to redraw map by January 24. CLC joined with @SCSJ in repping @LWVNCarolina— CampaignLegalCenter (@CampaignLegal) January 9, 2018

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      Awesome. Go NC. I still love you!

    • BadKitty904
    • ManchuCandidate

      Democratic Votes Matters.

    • Kooolest G

      hopefully the supreme court finds the same when they decide their gerrymandering case

    • CripesAmighty

      OUTSTANDING! Bout time somebody got something right round here.

    • kaydenpat

      Standing Ovation!!!!! That’s some good news.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      On to the midterms!

      • Here’s a leak I saw today where the leaker gives compelling evidence that the midterm elections have already been decided by US intelligence agencies. It’s worth checking out if you have the time.
        http://www.EnemyoftheSwamp.com

  • Msgr_MΩment

    So much for having his hands back on his weapons.

    Mooch says that’s not his hands.

    • marxalot

      And those aren’t his weapons.

  • Mary Theresa

    So. I was over at Breitbarts helping to incite the riots over there. Is that so wrong? Than I don’t want to be right.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      I hope you brought a can of gasoline.

      • Mary Theresa

        I didn’t need it, since it’s a cannibal fest over there.

    • kaydenpat

      Why are they fighting? They should all agree that speaking the truth about Trump is wrong.

      • Mary Theresa

        Trumpazees verses Bannonites, there can be only one!

        • kaydenpat

          They’re all awful. Let them beat each other into the dirt. Divided they fall.

    • James Baskin

      “I asked for water but she gave me gasoline…..” Tommy Johnson

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      No way, wallow in those nazi tears.

    • puredog

      It’s kinda fun. To his/her credit, when I did so, a commenter noted that stories like that led to a bunch of trolls showing up. (I pleaded guilty.)

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Bannon should get back to Hollywood. It’s where he did his best work.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9482878fb41c6716611635de198fd3d6b063b682fcbfd05dfdbffcaa9e4bf297.jpg

    • kaydenpat

      Way too good looking to be Bannon.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        They used a SHITLOAD of foundation.

        • kaydenpat

          But still. LOL.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • CripesAmighty

    Thanks for playing “Boot Lick Bingo”, Steve. We have some nice parting gifts…
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6D-SqQV_T04

  • Poly_Ester

    Beta cucks? I’d say no higher than Chi and probably Omega.

    • marxalot

      Omicron, more like.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Aww. It’s tough when the battle comes down to anal warts v. prion disease, to know how much popcorn to make.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    His cock ain’t gonna suck itself.

    • Raan

      Hey, you don’t know what kind of sentient VDs he’s developed.

      • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

        Milo, for starters.

        • Raan

          He’s a parasitic fungus.

          The difference is ever-so-slight.

      • JaveyDay

        Gonorrax from the Syphiloid Quadrant of the Chlamydion Galaxy.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Sooooo, Bannon and other similar creepoid Humankind QA Rejects are going to start up a new RWNJ website in a few weeks, yes?

    Calm down, just speculatin’.

    #WaitForIt

    • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

      It’ll be almost as successful and popular as Gab.

  • BadKitty904

    Steve Gon’ Leave. Laters, BannedOne…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4tYkOeCM0A

  • It got to a point where B-bart would have had to hire undocumented labor to clean up all that shed skin and hair

  • James

    CORRECTION: Maps must be redrawn by January 29. Here's the opinion: https://t.co/u79bVvEll5 #fairmaps— CampaignLegalCenter (@CampaignLegal) January 9, 2018

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Good news, indeed. NC’s districting is an absolute farce.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Conservatives Motto: We eat our own, even if they won us elections

    • JaveyDay

      They eat their own buttholes.

  • wait! what?

    I can’t believe there’s actual footage of him “stepping down.”

    Show us how it’s done Lady Mercer:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c5c6a2f4c3edb03ffd6da4b9e5d46b548c2c4a81b02cf8eba946ad905a3dfa28.gif

    • Carpe Vagenda

      So, it was a putsch?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The Putz Putsch.

        • Daniel

          Bannon is definitely the Beer Hall Putz.

          Or the Crap Putsch, depending on your familiarity with failed right wing coups in the Wiemar Republic.

      • SDGeoff3

        Such a dickens you are.

      • commatoes

        Lacking the beer hall.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      STEALING…

  • Crystalclear12

    Bannon, honey, Mueller would love to hear all about how you’ve been wronged.
    Mueller still cares.

    • Christopher Story

      This is why you never piss off the guy who knows where the bodies are buried. They tend to make the best witnesses in court.

  • JMP
    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui
      • SDGeoff3

        This is really good music. Thanks.

        • SDGeoff3

          Any recommendations on, say, a playlist for more music like this and Motorhead, also too? This is an era when I was too busy to listen to music, and I’d love to open my brain to it.

  • Mavenmaven

    This is good news for Ben Schapiro.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • aktlib101

    What worries me is not Steve Bannon, it is the people who fund Bannon/Breitfart. Like the Mercers. They will find other Bannons out there. Via laws and rules and votes, “we the people” need to find a way to separate these people from their billions. And stop them from buying politicians and power. Until then, nothing much will change

  • vivian

    Man, are they in for a hard time when they finally figure out that the Mercers, Larry Solov and Susie Breitbart are all Jewish.

    • SDGeoff3

      And they seems to be cool with the Joo Hatred in their publication.

    • Mary Theresa

      LOL….I should run over to Breitbarts and post that.

      • puredog

        Done

        • Mary Theresa

          Lol, I seen you over there earlier and upvoted you.

    • Gigglesnort

      Bannon could overlook that, as long as the checks were clearing.

      • SDGeoff3

        As any good Person For Sale is wont to do.

  • spangled

    Sad!

  • OrG Unstable Genius

    Breaking with tradition, let the door hit you on the ass.

    • Daniel

      He doesn’t really have a choice.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Whatever will he fail upward into now? A new tv network? A senate seat? (Bannon -(r)HouseHarkkonen)?

    • SDGeoff3

      CNN correspondent seems to be the pick below.

    • puredog

      I think he should run for Senate in Arizona!

    • OutOfOrbit

      A tell_all book

      • SDGeoff3

        …which would be completely believable.

        • OutOfOrbit

          abstholootly totally

      • commatoes

        From his IMDB page writer’s credits, it will be useful during a toilet paper shortage.

    • You know Bannon has a gom jabbar…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Take a while to get the ‘Bannon Scent’ outta’ Deadbart (*It smells like PetCo.) and the corpse smell back. (*It reminds them of their founder.)

    • commatoes

      Worst car air freshener idea ever.

  • I am so torn. Bannon was pure, filthy evil. All the evil. But he was doing his evilly best to tear Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan new assholes (how many asshoes can assholes have?). I schadenfreuded (is that a verb?) Bannon’s GOP asshole-tearing work. It’s a just cause. Bannon being banished (The Bannonishment) means McConnell and Ryan won? Whose side is the enemy of my enemies’ enemies’ enemies on?

    • SDGeoff3

      One day at a time.

      • wait! what?

        …If you’re gonna drag Bonnie Franklin into this; we’ll have to change the locks…

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9bdd8a7d5136cf5d62b442c465b54d8447e5cda62fb63cc15cdb0cca88ae874e.jpg

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          Schneider!

          • OutOfOrbit

            The Suop

          • SDGeoff3

            I wish some of my supers looked that hawt.

      • Yeah, but I had hoped this Bannonishment day would have come after many, many days of miserable suffering for Ryan and McConnell.

        • puredog

          Good rule of thumb: If it makes Yertle smile, we don’t like it.

        • SDGeoff3

          Drink with us, dear fellow traveller. Drink with us the honey-wine of delight on what is merely the ninth (ninth, right?) day of the year in its infancy. You will behold so much suffering, you’ll grow sick of the suffering.
          No, you won’t!

    • Daniel

      McConnell and Ryan are still saddled with Tweedledumber, the orange catastrophe.

    • puredog

      It’s a condomdumbnundrum.

      • Mary Theresa

        Ha, you were over Breitbarts stirring up shit, like I was.

    • TJ Barke

      I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.

      • Christopher Story

        It’s the only way to be sure

    • aktlib101

      No, the Mercers won.
      Ryan and McTurtle are still comfortably sticking their heads up Trump’s asshole.

    • Gigglesnort

      Some people thought Roy Moore in the Senate would be a gift to Democrats, and he would sure have given McConnell heartburn. But, on the other hand, it is hard to spin as good handing a government salary, a podium, and a vote on legislation to somebody like that. It is like handing your enemy a stick of dynamite and hoping they blow themselves up with it, rather than somebody else.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I know. My brain can’t handle this. Each piece of shit that falls, is it a good thing? A bad thing? A scary thing? A what the fuck is this shit thing? Aaarrgggghh!

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Daniel

      PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!

    • CW

      I thought Milo was in Australia trying to troll more college kids. Or was it sucking dick in a rest stop bathroom. I can’t remember.

      • Daniel

        Begging kangaroos to be shocked by him.

        • CW

          “I’m gay AND support…whichever conservative party people with blue hair and septum piercings in this country really hate!!!!! Aren’t I a rebel?!?!?”

          • Daniel

            “Mate, we have bifurcated penises.”
            “I LIKE BLACK MEN FOR SEXUAL….FOR FUCKING!”
            “They’re like tuning forks.”
            “BIG BLACK COCKS! Are you not offended?!”
            “Or Flying Vs.”

          • commatoes

            I am not a racist… some of my best dicks are black.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Christopher Story

      That is the final scene of the trailer for the horror mystery movie version of this batshit crazy period.

    • Daniel

      “You should never have flipped me off my back, Leon.”

  • OutOfOrbit

    Bannon tell-all book is going to press in 3…2…

  • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

    Roll on thunder shine on lightnin’ the days are long and the nights are frightnin’
    Nothing matters anyway and that’s the hell of it
    Winter comes and the winds blow colder well some grew wiser you just grew older
    And you never listened anyway and that’s the hell of it
    Good for nothin’ bad in bed nobody likes you and you’re better off dead goodbye
    We’ve all come to say goodbye goodbye
    Born defeated died in vain
    Super destruction you were hooked on pain and tho’ your music lingers on
    All of us are glad you’re gone
    If I could live my life half as worthlessly as you
    I’m convinced that I’d wind up burning too

    -Paul Williams

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Oooooooo, buuuurn, that’s gonna leave a mark on Bannon’s soul (wait, not sure he has one)

    • Courser_Resistance

      If that’s the Paul Williams I’m thinking of, he was an interesting guy. Did some interesting stuff.

      • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

        *nods* The blonde dude, kinda short.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Yeah, later he became short, round and blonde. I remember going to the Gothic theater in Englewood, CO in the 70s to see a delightfully batshit movie he was is and maybe wrote, directed etc. It was ‘Phantom of the.. ‘ something that wasn’t Opera. The Gothic has always been an interesting place.

          • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

            “Phantom of the Paradise”. Great movie. Brian De Palma directed. The lyrics I quoted above are from the soundtrack.

      • commatoes

        Phantom of the Paradise Paul Williams?

        PS The mask from the movie is in Del Toro’s collection in the traveling show.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Bill D. Burger

    “Prepare your mind for a new level of horror…” (*The Twilight Zone) ___when the unemployed and unkempt Sloppy Steve shows up later.

    http://i0.wp.com/disinfo.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/steve-bannon-burger.jpg?resize=777%2C437

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Hide media! Hide media!

    • SDGeoff3

      Not photoshopped.

  • Kooolest G

    who thinks bannon will just go away quietly? I have a feeling he’s gonna be all over CNN and MSNBC and whoever else will let him on trashing jared every chance he gets. he just don’t strike me as the type who can just let things go and admit defeat. I bet he goes all in on the crazy and burns the whole house down. get some popcorn ready, cause I have a feeling you’re gonna hear a lot of “trump’s a senile old man that’s being manipulated by all the jews he surrounds himself with”

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Some of the Breitbart commenters have already started saying that.

      • Kooolest G

        maybe some of the breitbart commenters are actually bannon himself?

    • Christopher Story

      He is a nihilist.

    • Bannon is now the man who has nothing to lose, and no bridges left to burn. And all the dirt on Trump and his lackeys.

    • Victoria Ricola

      I think he’s got a face for (AM) radio.

      • SDGeoff3

        The far right side of the dial.

    • aktlib101

      Probably not. He’s silence costs money but that is what the Mercers do. Bannon got publicly dumped, but his silence was bought.

      • commatoes

        And he capitulated to Trump before getting the boot.

      • Amazing Professional Lunatic

        Mercers are the money people that booted him from Breitbart. You think they are still paying him?

    • commatoes

      IDK, he has been booted by the rest of the Nazis at Breitbart…

      Call him Ishmael?

      He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers” (Genesis 16:11–12)

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      Bring it on!

    • Mike Minden

      Ready yourself for the birth (rebirth?) of Scorched Earth Steve.

    • Raan

      Well, whatever serves to sow strife and discord among the right, I guess.

    • SDGeoff3

      He may not have a long life ahead of him, but he will be greatly enriched by anything he does.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • wait! what?
      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Strong, vigorous schadenboners for everyone!

        • ltmcdies

          that’s some first class twitter shade, right there

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      This is the telenovela I’ve been waiting for.

    • SDGeoff3

      Oh, please, Ana. Spare us the self righteous hypocrisy. Beneath it all, you’re a normalized Republican tool. Remember the Iraq war, honey? How did that help you sleep at night? Hmmm?

    • therblig

      i can’t imagine it would take much to exit from rebekah mercer

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Bannon is planning to spend more time at home, torturing his brother.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/199713022e63a3009817994e06b44068ed2c43a184b1031122ec9df439e0ae48.png

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Chet!

  • Michael R

    President Donald Trump is getting his first medical checkup since taking office

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d7053080659e3fbea67be40539b1f4270a937c9893d92d85aadc4753a1743ead.gif

  • Bill D. Burger

    Steve has left to spend more time with his whiskey, his dermatologist and his bathtub meth.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    FAKE NEWS. He wasn’t fired—he quit in order to spend more time picking at his face sores and dissolving unknown items in acid in the bathtub in the unused basement bathroom.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You know, he has enough money to be a one percenter for the rest of his life if he put his money in municipal bonds. I can’t emphasize strongly enough that fuck him.

      • SDGeoff3

        He’s not going to last two years.

    • Kooolest G

      funny thing is, he lives in DC at a place the mercers own called the breitbart embassy. I have a feeling if that place isn’t already on fire, bannon is there trashing the fuck out of it right now. apparently he doesn’t actually own any property, just rents. so now he’s out on his ass, no job, no house, no friends left to help him out. luckily he’s got a few spare shirts on him cause he’s about to be as homeless as he looks

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Funny thing: the Mercers don’t own it. They rent it from Moustafa el-Gindy, a former member of the Egyptian parliament. Which, funnily, is a government unfriendly to Israel with terror issues which didn’t end up on the block list.

        • SDGeoff3

          And there’s a story there, too.

        • commatoes

          Landlord of convenience.

        • Kooolest G

          that makes the story so much better, right now bannon is trashing a house that the mercers will have to pay a moooslem for the damages hahahahahahahahaha

      • SDGeoff3

        His possessions are on the lawn by now.

        • commatoes

          Someone removed them from the dumpster?

          • SDGeoff3

            I’d guess.

          • commatoes

            Donald Trump’s suits are probably getting lonely now.

      • Erala Contratista

        Didn’t know he had friends to begin with.

  • Victoria Ricola

    Today is fun.

    • SDGeoff3

      Yeah! It really is!!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m enjoying it.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • Bill D. Burger

    Exclusive footage of Bannon leaving Deadbart. It was on the innertubes’. It’s true.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/uC0iGs63Sn3pu/giphy.gif

    • TJ Barke

      Patty libel!

    • wait! what?
    • Mike Minden

      I actually got to meet Roger Patterson as a kid. Back then, monsters were a myth and reasonable Republicans were real.

    • Doug Langley

      Wow, he’s lost weight.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      At least he only wore a sweater today.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Bobathonic

      That’s what TV’s Frank said.

    • TJ Barke

      Ooh, what does that mean?

      • data_ninja

        Honestly, nothing we haven’t heard before in ways of ‘more news coming!’ However, they might be competing for ratings on an evening like this, so they might follow thru this once.

    • AJ Milne

      Haven’t had time to read it…

      Just how treasony _was_ the GOP BS in the Fusion stuff? _Two_ distractions worth?

      • Tishalicious

        I’m still staggering over the treasonous NYT…

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Breitbart also uses Disqus and one thing I’ve noticed is how there is one commenter who commands like, 500 responses and all those idiots do is banter back and forth with each other for who is the tallest midget. Here, we mostly lengthen a comment thread if we are feeling particularly punny.

    • Daniel

      Is it ironic to make something longer if you’re punny?

      I mean, actual ironic, not Breitbart Ironic.

      • Doug Langley

        You mean Tony Stark ironic?

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      I love it when we pun. I really do. I don’t have one right now, but just wanted to chime in.

      • Daniel

        I tried, but I don’t know if “puny” and “punny” are that obviously the thing… I’ve been up since 5am and it’s 11 now so shut up.

      • JaveyDay

        It was the best of chimes, it was the worst of chimes.

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          You really rung my bell!

          • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

            You will get lots of clappers now!

          • JaveyDay

            I prefer the ladder.

        • lucidamente

          A Tale of Two Ditties?

      • TJ Barke

        Ding dong the witch is dead!

      • SDGeoff3

        It is a pleasant change from the bellicose RWNJ environment.

      • Doug Langley

        You’ve been reading The Bell Curve again, haven’t you?

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          And listening to belle and sebastian

    • lucidamente

      Comments aren’t allowed here.

    • commatoes

      So they are too insecure to lay them on the table and measure?

  • Ryan Denniston

    No doubt CNN has been keeping a chair warm for him. Hello Mr. Photogenic!

  • Mike Minden
  • Joe Beese

    Mrs. Beese found it chilling that Breitbart would turn on their own like that.

    I introduced her to the term “fuhrerprinzip”.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    So Bannon fired and he was on the National Security Council instead of some actual qualified people. When does he spill his guts to Mueller or anyone who will listen to him?

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Why not just spill his guts for profit on all the most classified stuff he learned while on the NSC, to China, or Russia, or Grand Fenwick?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        He doesnt have to, didnt they already tell Russia everything?

        • commatoes

          They get it straight from the horse’s ass already.

    • commatoes

      Y’know, you are basically describing the entire Trump admin right?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Yeah sadly.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Arpaio announced he was running for Senate and everybody in AZ said: “Pardon me?”

  • ltmcdies

    today is the day for Bannon to lose jobs…

    https://twitter.com/JoshuaGreen/status/950861814631403521

  • mancityRed6

    so, anyone know of any decent places to stay (not hotels) in Galveston?
    asking for me

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      I use VRBO (Home Away) when I want to rent a house instead of staying in a hotel. That’s all I got!

      • mancityRed6

        thanks for the tip.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Don’t forget! The Alabama Senate race that was going to jump start Bannon’s populist revolution was less than a month ago.

    Well……..now he has a chance to begin his run for the presidency in 2020:
    Bannon / Roy Moore 2020: Your Children are Our Future

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      “Your Children are Our Fetish”

    • Sophia

      Hey you forgot he can once again do his magic with Arapaio as a test run. Hopefully it goes as well as Moore

      • Kooolest G

        arpaio isn’t gonna hire him, the one person sheriff joe needs on his side is trump, that’s gonna be awkward when he comes to campaign for him and sees sloppy steve there on the side of the stage.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Fire and Fury? More like Fired and Weepy.

  • Michael R
    • Bill D. Burger

      A woman so horrendous that her fiance died just to escape her.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        That was ice cold, man!

      • therblig

        nancy grace?

        • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

          GASP!

  • DainBramage

    Maybe there’s hope North Carolina will become a democracy again.
    https://twitter.com/DaniLang_DC/status/950853590339514374

    • Red Richmond

      NICE TIMES!

    • Parakeetist

      We can has vote!

  • Bitter Scribe

    I hope Steve doesn’t read the comments at Breitbart. It’ll depress him even more.

  • CripesAmighty
  • therblig

    is it “stepping down” when there are footprints on your ass?

    • Courser_Resistance

      I was allowed to ‘resign’ once when my ass was booted out.

    • Mary Theresa

      Only when there are visible tire tracks on his face.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Is there no end to the damage Hillary’s emails will do?

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    Okay, that’s kinda awesome that a book about WWII allied bombing callled “Fire and Fury” has sold out of amazon.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Ok that is amusing. The guardian said people are so mad they bought the wrong book and refuse to read it.

      https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/jan/09/the-other-fire-and-fury-decade-old-book-becomes-unexpected-bestseller

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        God forbid somebody should learn something!!!

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Hey that is that liberal indoctrination or something.

          But thanks for bringing up that book, it looks interesting and I am going to buy it Friday.

      • Bobathonic

        Sounds like a RWNJ boycott.

    • CripesAmighty

      Yeah, and the author made a funny about royalties to trump and Bannon (fwiw, I don’t buy that it was due to ‘mis-clicks’–looks like a really interesting read. My bet is on the ‘Hell, while I’m at it…’

    • commatoes

      People that don’t read….

  • Mary Theresa

    Now Bannon has time for that liver transplant.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Or the prestige of being Joe Arpaio’s campaign manager.

    • commatoes

      The liver would reject him.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I wonder what he’ll be doing when they get around to a “Where Is He Now?” piece. Probably hosting a podcast or something.

    • Daniel

      Or being hosed off something.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      He still has his Sirius radio show.

    • commatoes

      Like VH1 Behind the Music, where act 3 can be summed up with, “Even in a crowded room, he felt alone.”

  • commatoes

    For all of the music fans…

    The shorter version

    https://youtu.be/xbIG_b2IMO0

    And the version from Lucifer

    https://youtu.be/J7yMzfplUco

    Run Stevie!!!

  • lucidamente

    For you Wonkette oldtimers, here’s a picture of Breitbart and intern Riley: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2daab3204e95689fe5f2724cdccb58f3d3565a463a885ea0fc19cb37d5f61936.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger

      I shall never forget that Wonkette waxed poetic at that very moment and guessed that Breitbart smelled like cabbage, dirty socks, and Pabst Blue Ribbon!

      • RickyG

        Looks almost like a #metoo moment!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    This guy thought he could take down The Pope. He couldn’t even win a slap fight with a senile geriatric imbecile, and he thought he could take on the Vatican.

  • Bill D. Burger

    I’m just sitting here thinking about all those “BANNON WILL GO NUCLEAR AND USE THE FULL FORCE OF HIS BREITBART BLOGGING ARSENAL TO DESTROY CONGRESS” headlines from after he left the White House.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fe98224dfa1723bddd5ad13538c128d7af4c52e024c12bab7abada271d5dfdfc.gif

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Is there a picture of Bannon anywhere that isn’t a boner-killer?

  • JaveyDay
  • goonemeritus

    Without Mr. Bannon’s gravitas and integrity does Breitbart risk becoming less of a pillar of journalism in the future?

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Now Bannon has even more time to suck his own cock.

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    Alright, my little mommyblog-loving culinary whizzes, what’s for dinner tonight?

    I think I’m going to do a kind of Thai lemongrass noodle soup with braising greens. Either shrimp or some crispy fried tofu.

    • TJ Barke

      More kibble.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        But what of the bits?

        • TJ Barke

          Kibble would be a good diet food.

      • msanthropesmr

        Did it come in the can pictured?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Axq71RFAYgo

      • puredog

        From today’s Metropolitan Diary:

        Dear Diary:
        It was the 1990s, and I was doing stand-up comedy.
        I left the Comic Strip late one night and headed home. When I got to my block, I
        realized that I had forgotten to buy cat food. I saw that a store was open and went in
        to buy a box of Tender Vittles.
        As I walked out, I saw a man standing alone looking at the fruit. As I got closer, I
        realized who he was.
        “You’re Bill Murray,” I said.
        He looked over and smiled, but he didn’t say anything.
        “I’m a big fan and I do stand-up,” I added.
        “You do?” he said.
        I nodded.
        He grabbed the shopping bag I was holding, looked inside and saw the cat food.
        “I see you’re doing well.”

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      That sounds good, I am doing tacos tonight.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Does he know? ;)

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk
          • Like Really Smart Radio

            Tee hee hee, I’m a silly radio. But good call on dinner, tacos are good!

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            They are good and easy to make. Is this you?

            https://media.giphy.com/media/kiGxsKmkY73ig/giphy.gif

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            OMG—- that is sooooooo me! Great find!

          • Arolpin

            It being Tuesday, I assumed we would have tacos for dinner, so I did NOT get a burrito for lunch, had a Lemwich instead (basically a Reuben on a hero, sooo good). Then I came home to find that Mrs Arolpin was tired and crampy, so it was choose your own dinner. I’ll have some leftover potato-leek gratin in a few minutes. It’s a supremely satisfying dish that the Arol-twins don’t like, so it lasts 2-3 days.

      • Doug Langley

        Remember, he likes lot of coffee, but after dark it needs to be decaf.

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          Remember, Gwyneth Paltrow thinks we should all be putting coffee up our bums.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Using a $135 bottle to hold the coffee.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            She’s just like us.

          • ((( Augustus )))

            and a rock up your nani

    • Bobathonic

      Cinnamon Life and 2% milk.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Cinnamon life is the best life!

      • TJ Barke

        Good choice. Hey Mikey, I think he likes it!

      • RickyG

        Elitist!

    • puredog

      feesh

    • CripesAmighty

      Leftover last night but with rice cuz out of noodles. Blargh.

    • msanthropesmr

      Grilled cheese sammich and can o soup
      (msanthrope is out saving the world)

    • Doug Langley

      Couple slices of multigrain bread with peanut butter. No, I wasn’t kidding about the food pantry.

      • TJ Barke

        Multigrain? Luxury!

        • Doug Langley

          Oh god, not this again.

      • msanthropesmr

        Having worked in a food pantry – Peanut butter is the first thing that we run out of. Tuna is next. Never, ever, donate canned tomatoes. I never ever thought I was going to see the end of canned tomatoes. And canned green beans. But never enough tuna, peanut butter and chunky soup.

        • Doug Langley

          I did pick up 2 lbs of a pork tenderloin roast that only needed half an hour of cooking and was goddamn delicious. Unfortunately, 2 lbs was the limit of meat they let me have.

          • msanthropesmr

            It’s hard to manage the meats – and for some folks there’s no place to prepare food, which is why easily digestible proteins like tuna and peanutbutter are so important.

          • Doug Langley

            Understood, but they had 3 huge freezers of pork/beef/chicken and it was frustrating I could only get two small roasts.

          • msanthropesmr

            Yeah – it is very frustrating.

          • Marion in Savannah

            How many other people rely on that food bank? If they’re just being stingy because they can that’s RONG, but I don’t know how many other folks in your area are also relying on those freezers.

          • Doug Langley

            When I was there, there was a steady stream of people. They were pretty generous with the bread, cereal, canned soup, etc. I’ve no idea.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Our food pantry also deals with folks who have no way at all to cook anything. We’re urged to bring anything that either doesn’t need cooking or is in a zip top opening can and can be eaten as is. It’s not that these folks are homeless and living under a bridge, they’re having to make the choice between paying the rent or paying the gas or electric bill. It’s A FUCKING AMERICAN TRAGEDY AND DISGRACE. /rant.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Thanks for those tips. But that’s pretty much what I went for. Nice to have confirmation, though.

      • puredog

        I read a brief interview with Jeff Daniels recently in which he touted the notion of peanut butter and BBQ sauce on multigrain bread as his favorite sammie. Of course, it would depend on the BBQ sauce, but I have not been able to forget this. Experimentation may be required. (Note: his call for “creamy Jif” may have undercut his message somewhat.)

    • OrdinaryJoe

      White fish, grilled veggies, some salad.

    • Nounverb911
    • canes_pugnaces

      Udon soup, here, with a nice homemade dashi broth and a glass of sake. Boiler blew up in my bldg. Brrrr.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Yummmmmm, that’s what I’m craving but I packed my shiitakes and my kombu so I’m out of luck til after the move.

        • canes_pugnaces

          I’d leave it out and put in the car. Too cold to not have a nice Dashi broth and Udon!

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            I know, epic packing fail on my part.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Salmon that I forgot to cook last night, cuz’ the vodka seemed like a better alternative at the time…

      • Marion in Savannah

        We had a nice broccoli quiche last night, but tonight Mr MinS is on his own because I’ve decided that MSNBC and some vodka with V8 juice (I need fiber) is the way to go for me.

        • SDGeoff3

          Fiber is important. And vodka is an excellent delivery system.

        • BillEGoatSmirk

          I mix mine with Vitamin Water Zero. That way I get all the B vitamins, electrolytes, and anti-oxidants but without added calories… My drinking justification skills have been at peak performance since November 2016…

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Thinkin a pot of cabbage soup would hit the spot. It may be above 30F out there, but it is still soup season.

    • goonemeritus

      Risotto Milanese with leftover Coq au Vin. Apple turnovers for desert.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        I have never had risotto before (I was raised proletariat), but I’m very interested in your apple turnovers!

        • goonemeritus

          I grew as an anchor baby of an Italian immigrant. Risotto is the only rice I had unless we sent out for Chinese. I grew up also hating every poor excuse for dessert in the Italian repertoire. hence apple turnovers.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      It’s rainy, so probably just soup and salad.

    • SDGeoff3

      We’re having hot dogs and “fries”. For relish, we have a ginger pear chutney made by a friend; for mustard, we have a smoked garlic dijon from a local artisinal market.
      The fries will be roasted potatoes tossed in light olive oil and seasonings. For dessert, we have a mango cake, baked by our next door neighbors.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        That sounds delicious!!!

        • SDGeoff3

          It was.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            Mine was kinda meh. I was heavy handed with the fish sauce it called for and then it was too fishy.

    • SDGeoff3

      May we change our plans and come to your house?

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Yes, but then you have to help me pack!

        • SDGeoff3

          I can do that.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            Sweet!

  • Nounverb911

    Just got back from the gym, so it was a quiet afternoon after all?

  • Bill D. Burger

    ♪, ♩ Oh, but it’s sad when a love affair dies….♪, ♩

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTIasb2X0AEUFIY.jpg

  • canes_pugnaces

    Funny, I must met a friend for a beer at Pete’s Tavern here in NYC. I am pretty sure Bannon was end the end of the bar nursing a Jamison and mumbling something about wanting to ‘get’ Javanka. Not really, but it’s believable.

  • Daniel

    “He flew too close to the sun. He he thought that he had just as big of a constituency as Donald Trump. He was down in Alabama, reporters at his event saying that he looked like he was campaigning for president himself. He had really warmed to that role of being in the spotlight.”

    Ickarus.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    That Vanity Fair tongue-bath from 19 days ago didn’t age well, did it?

  • JaveyDay

    When I was a wee lad, my best friend had a sweet yellow bike with very thick spokes. We played a game where one of us would ride the bike across the lawn while the other attempted to javelin-throw a broom handle between the spokes. Success meant the rider would flip over the handlebars in oft dramatic fashion. What’s the point of this? I don’t know, but it seems relevant to how the right wing operates.

  • Marion in Savannah

    I’ve gotta admit, I don’t often leave MSNBC on in the background while I’m trying to do other things, but I am tonight. And there’s no way that I’ll be doing anything other than watching Dr. Maddow with great attention later.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      I rarely watch her live, but I’ll be watching her live tonight.

      • SDGeoff3

        We get her at 6 and 9 on the left coast, so I get to enjoy her every night no matter how filthy the dishes are.

    • weighmaster

      Me too, I need to figure out something super easy to fix for dinner, while drinking wine…

      • SpideySenser

        Just order a pizza.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Remember that Sloppy Steve Bannon compared himself to Thomas Cromwell? Guess he probably saw his fall from grace and execution coming, huh?

    “More KFC Sir Sloppy ____ and send in Lil’ Jared to clean up.” Good times.

    https://silverscreenings.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/laughton-as-henry-viii.gif

  • Nounverb911

    ANd you have a problem with that, snowflake? Only 56 more states to go….
    https://twitter.com/GovMikeHuckabee/status/950755119821479936

    • Marion in Savannah

      Here… allow me to play JS Bach’s Chaconne from Partita in d minor BWV1004 on the world’s tiniest violin.

    • Bill D. Burger

      ‘And St. Felicia said unto the last Republican leaving California: BYE!’

      http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/064/289/9d5.jpg

      • SDGeoff3

        I love this!!

    • JaveyDay

      His “brain” struggled all day to come up with this “gem” and when the “joke”
      finally “came” to him, he was so “proud” of himself.

    • altleftjohn

      Republicans are an invasive species.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      New ruling today in NC today on gerrymandering means we soon will have open season on right winged dinosaurs (with votes).

    • Kooolest G

      it’s funny because when aahnold was in charge, we were in debt up to our ass and the whole state was a mess, now that democrats run everything, we have a surplus, lower than most states unemployment and legal weed

      • Marion in Savannah

        I wonder how that happens? Has anyone ever, ever, ever tried to figure that out? /snark

      • wait! what?

        It’s amazing how much you can save when you stop paying hotel mini-bar prices for things.

    • Raan

      Hey man, that condor didn’t choose to be a moron.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      California Republicans are just two footed lemmings: they keep jumping off the cliff and into the ocean.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    No, stop laughing, it’s not funny! Steve Bannon is a very serious person with very serious dreams and …

    LOL fuck it, go ahead and laugh. Bannon thinks this is a possibility on God’s green earth despite how Mitch McConnell and the rest of ’em are openly laughing at him now, and despite how he gave up his last shred of credibility to go all in on Roy Moore’s Allegedly Child-Fondling Hands and managed to lose a GOP Senate race IN ALABAMA, where Democratics are viewed WAY WORSE than pedophiles.

    Guess Anthony Scaramucci was right when he said Bannon likes to suck his own cock, but Christ, Bannon, come up for air before you throw your back out.

    As true today, as when it was written.

    Read more at https://wonkette.com/627314/steve-bannon-maybe-running-for-president-lol-ok-sure-steve-bannon-drugs-are-bad-mmkay#sO5HZG189bKYseiL.99

  • chascates
    • Daniel

      Yeah, that’s not what it was. I don’t think Trump knew what he was saying and wanted attention.

    • msanthropesmr

      Assumes that Trump can think beyond the next burger. I know that’s not true.

    • TundraGrifter

      Hmmm…nothing Nazi about a name like “The Storm,” now is there?

    • Raan

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/517fd11ff6ab950d3616473fa4e947b9ad02e8a1e79702e8ec982e42bc307134.png

      I don’t care about their dumb conspiracy theory. The Legion of the Stormfeelers is forever.

    • Zezozose Z. Glutz

      How do people like this function in the real world?

      • Doug Langley

        Not very well, to be honest.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Didnt they already try that with covfefe?

    • TJ Barke

      The “saudi-clinton cabal”? The fuck?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        With the help of the reverse vampires.

        • Bad Tom

          They time travel.
          Tell me they time travel.
          They HAVE to travel in time.

      • puredog

        Yeah, when I heard about the Las Vegas massacre, this was definitely the first thing that popped into my mind.

    • Michael R

      Trump isn’t playing chess

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HPI_HT6yjo

      • Raan

        He’s trying to play checkers on a backgammon board with a bottlecap, two nickels, and a tuft of dryer lint.

    • TJ Barke
    • JaveyDay

      Trump about to go all Tanya Harding up on that Deep State!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      True, that’s one possible explanation for his “calm before the storm” comment, months ago. Another one is that he says whatever the fuck pops into his head with no filter.

  • Parakeetist

    Yay! Asshole doesn’t have a paycheck, asshole doesn’t have a paycheck…

    • Nounverb911

      Ahem, Seinfeld royalties….

      • stumpknocker

        ok but he is still an asshole

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Wait, what?

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Back when Bannon was just a Hollywood investor, he was working on a deal with Ted Turner involving Castle Rock Entertainment (Seinfeld’s production company) where he got a stake in the syndication rights in lieu of his company’s usual fee. So every time Seinfeld airs, he gets a check.

          • data_ninja

            Linky!

            Apparently it’s through some third party, but it looks like he gets it.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            And now he can spend it on his own travel and political whatever it is he does.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            But not on clean clothes or hygiene products. That is a clause in that contract.

          • Parakeetist

            FUCK

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      He doesn’t need the money, which makes you wonder why he hates America so much.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “I don’t know exactly how far Bannon falls but I hope it involves a state fair and farm animals.” ___ Steve Schmidt

    • CripesAmighty

      I’ve been waiting for Steve to crack a smile. HAHAHA!

      • Bill D. Burger

        He’s cracked me up a number of times. My fav line of 2017 came during an exchange with Nichole Wallace when Schmidt said, “Donald Trump isn’t a normal president. He isn’t even a normal human being. His head is a haunted house.”

        I actually did a spit take.

        • CripesAmighty

          I’ve been a fan of Schmidt since he did an uproarious self-deprecating tour de force in a ‘post mortem’ talk he did with David Plouffe at a university somewhere in the aftermath of the ’08 debacle. His wit is that of the rare raconteur that is almost extinct, nowadays.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I think he feels bad about trying to foist Palin on America.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Wasn’t that Billy KKKristol?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Schmidt and Nicole Wallace were her minders during the campaign. It was their job to make het look like she wasn’t a complete idiot.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Those are the conditions I saw Starship in a few years ago. They sounded awesome.

  • JaveyDay
    • Mary Theresa

      This is the stuff that nightmares are made of.

      • data_ninja

        …for the horse.

    • stumpknocker

      ok, which one is larry and who is moe?

    • Mike Minden

      Steve, Roy, and Joe. So close they share skin tags and colon polyps.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Some Apocalypse is missing a horseman.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Update: Steve Bannon is leaving Breitbart to spend more time *looks at notes* trying to suck his own cock.

    https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6k1fic6G61ro8ysbo2_r1_400.gif

    • Marion in Savannah

      Ummm… I really didn’t need to see that, even if I’ve decided that my dinner this evening will consist of vodka and V8 juice.

      Brain bleach — STAT!

  • Raan
  • Juan de Fuca

    Wow. Show of hands from people who thought Steven Bannon and everybody associated with Adolph Twittler would turn out to be groveling sycophants.

    *Raises hand*

    • stumpknocker

      if anyone is working for or with trump the have to be groveling sycophants.

    • weejee

      OT kinda, are you a GM Ford fan Juan? In particular this one about your sis Wanda.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    And Tiny Tim was heard to exclaim,”Merry Schadenfreudemas! May Doug bless us, every one!”

  • Michael R

    Julian Assange’s stay in London embassy untenable, says Ecuador

    South American country that has housed WikiLeaks founder for five years says it is seeking mediator to end impasse with UK

    https://www.theguardian.com/media/2018/jan/09/julian-assange-stay-in-london-embassy-untenable-says-ecuador

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c6c7977d7adbda6185e171790cddb014f5bba67985e0415aaecfdf966976a654.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger

    “His transition should be easy since he always looks unemployed.” ___ Dan Savage

    • commatoes

      SANTORUM!!!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Marion in Savannah

      Does that mean that I have to turn down my turtleneck?

  • msanthropesmr
  • Bill D. Burger

    Bannon relaxes at home this evening with Mom and the family.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTIreMmUQAA2RvL.jpg

    • Doug Langley

      Is the second from left the black sheet of the family?

      • H0mer0

        what are they doing in my family room?

  • RickyG
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I read somewhere that the REAL reason the Mergers kicked Bannon to the curb, months ago, was because he wanted to raise taxes on the rich to 44%. I’ll say this for old, drunk, sloppy, Steve – not ALL of his ideas were bad. Bannon and Trump could have been very popular presidents if they’d done shit like that, even if it would have made poor Paul Ryan sad. Plus they should have dropped the racism after they’d won. Their idiot supporters would never even have noticed.

    • CripesAmighty

      Yup. He weren’t smart enough to recognize that he wasn’t really in on the con.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s kind of funny that Trump dumped him, and immediately became a typical Republican.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A white supremacist cannot have good ideas, because they serve an evil end. It’s like Mussolini making the trains run on time.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        His idea to tax the rich at 44% was excellent. Bannon is probably only 86% evil.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Weeellll… I’ll give you 93% evil.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          My point is that was a “populist” nod to the goober bigot demographic….a good idea for a bad purpose, regardless of the ancillary benefits.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            It actually shocks me that Bannon was in favor of raising taxes, at all. Trump was just pretending to be a populist, but Bannon apparently was a true believer.

            My point was that if Bannon hadn’t been a racist and anti-semite, he and Trump might have done some real good. He showed his true colors when he supported Roy Moore.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Can most likely to be kicked again.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/950872591832616961

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Eleventy millionth time’s the charm?

    • commatoes

      Evidently having one’s thumb up one’s ass complicates effective governance.

    • Bananas Foster

      At this point are they going to get a budget before the next budget is due?

      • Marion in Savannah

        No. SASQ.

      • They’ll get it done after the midterms when actual adults are in charge.

  • ltmcdies
  • Joe Beese

    Federal judges throw out Republican gerrymandered congressional map!

    • Gosala

      Where? (They’ve done it in Florida three times already.)

      • Raan

        North Carolina.

  • Mary Theresa
    • Marion in Savannah

      Nowhere near enough shirts or grog blossoms, but I’m howling nonetheless.

  • Gosala

    Today the Breitbartariate

    1. Is ripping itself apart into the trumpets and the bannonettes

    2. Is gnashing its teeth over POTUSINO new found love for grown up little Mexican babies and declaring America dead.

    3. Is completely ignoring the FusionGPS testimony.

    It would be irresponsible of me to speculate that maybe, just maybe we’re seeing the first real cracks in POTUSINO’s base.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Your lips, God’s ear, etc., etc., etc.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • I have no idea who Kenneth P. Vogel is, but he seems like a douche.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You’ll be amazed to hear that he’s an asshole from Politico who has since joined his buddies Thrush and Haberman at the Times.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Today, we are all Banno…wait

  • Jeffery Campbell

    I shall miss Steve Bunions.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Bannon said, “I’m proud of what the Breitbart team has accomplished in so short a period of time in building out a world-class news platform.”

    The question now is which world we’re talking about.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      This one sadly where words no longer have any meaning.

  • JaveyDay
    • Christopher Story

      John Stewart did a fascinating piece on that Putin smile. It had to do with Putin stealing that one Superbowl ring. It showed other shots of Putin doing things that we would enjoy, all while maintaining a bored scowl. But in the picture that allegedly shows him stealing the ring, he’s grinning just like that picture there.

      My point it, that is Putin’s cat-ate-the-canary grin.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I guess this is ghoul bye.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I have a hard time getting too chuffed about Bannon tossed out on his fat ass when it represents, in essence, an overwhelming show of Republican support for Trump and his sociopathic family. Personally, I was hoping for a much bloodier and protracted goober civil war.

    • CripesAmighty

      Yup. Amusing as it is to see him hoist by his own petard, it neutralizes him as the impresario of a parade of primary lunatics.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Not that said lunatics will disappear or anything. Exhibit A: Joe Arpaio running for Flake’s senate seat.

        • CripesAmighty

          True, but with the Mercer cash and Breitblort propaganda machinery, he could field a horde of nuts who could win primaries, ripe for slaughter.

          • puredog

            Arpaio – Ward primary smackdown. I’ve already given money to Sinema. Roy Moore, Part Deux.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Don’t forget that Moore barely fucking lost.

          • CripesAmighty

            But do recall its a deep-red district.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Arizona isn’t exactly Berkeley.

          • CripesAmighty

            Yup, but there’s 434 more seats up.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Since Trump got elected, I no longer feel confident about anyone being too crazy and bigoted to possibly win.

          • CripesAmighty

            Agreed, but in the mean, the true wackadoos are easier to beat than the usual hedge-fund toadies.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s between Chemtrail Kelli and Arpaio in the Republican primary, so it’s a guaranteed wackadoo.

          • CripesAmighty

            True dat! Pistachio or Cashew?

    • Still to come. The final act is a way off and sure to satisfy.

    • commatoes

      If he was one of their intellectual leaders, then the anti-intellectual bent runs deeper than I thought.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Dead waters run deep. I think that’s in the Bible somewhere.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Prion disease. See: Pierce, Charlie:

        https://www.google.com/search?client=opera&ei=CFlVWv-gFs62zwLXloO4Cg&q=“prion+disease”+”charlie+pierce”&oq=&gs_l=psy-ab.1.0.35i39k1l6.4856.4856.0.10246.1.1.0.0.0.0.0.0..1.0….0…1c.1.64.psy-ab..0.1.75.6…75.TrPmAHev9rA

        • commatoes

          I came across prion diseases in the context of BSE, Creutzfeld/Jakob disease, ritual cannibalism studying Anthropology (Trobriand Islanders) and a bit of personal research while reading Anne Rice’s “Queen of the Damned”. I have some weird interests and the non fiction section of my library has garnered some strange looks.

          In regards to Trump/Reagan and prion disease, long walk on a short pier and how would you notice.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m sincerely hoping it will come. Do you really think Bannon is done?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Of course not. As we now know, one can only fail upwards in Republican politics.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          For the one and only time, I will say this. Good.

  • Nephilim

    “…….building out a world-class news platform.” Breitbart?”…….helped turn our country around.” More like turning our country backward. Gobbledegoop Alert!

    • Raan

      Yeah. We were moving forward, and now we’re not.

  • Mary Theresa
    • puredog

      And we wish him the greatest success.

    • commatoes

      Everyone needs life goals.

  • tehbaddr

    “I’m proud of what the Breitbart team has accomplished” bringing back fascism and rallying new found nazi people in the USA. Oh and getting Trump elected of course !!!

  • Keith Taylor

    I never have liked hysterical caps. I think it’s a sign of illiteracy.
    But comes a time …
    BREITBART IS A WORLD CLASS NEWS PLATFORM?

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      LIKE PRAVDA AND IZVESTIA

    • commatoes

      RT?

  • Nounverb911

    Have you looked in the mirror Laura?
    https://twitter.com/LauraLoomer/status/950859037267996672

    • Look, there are lots of old people who can’t pay their bills, nobody would go to their press conferences either, you dotty cunt.

  • eyelashviper

    I was rather enjoying the poo flinging, maybe Sloppy Steve is gonna set up his own newsy network now..

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9995f1678ec3775fbdd7834e657399cb89f5aec2be4ac0e7b260deb50215d829.jpg

  • Mary Theresa
  • Nounverb911

    The good news is that Andy Breitbart is still dead.

    • That is excellent news. Even better? Two options are that he is finally useful as worm food, or he’s roasting on the fires of eternal hellfire!

  • Parakeetist

    Fuck it, there are days I shouldn’t get up.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Pretty much every day since 1/20/17. At least I had my last birthday while Obama was still My President.

  • james crubb

    My tears at the fall of Bannon will fill an ocean, not.

    • Mary Theresa

      That was poetic.

      • james crubb

        Cheers!

  • Nounverb911
    • mackafritz, v.s.g.

      You know a border tax works both ways.

    • OrG Unstable Genius

      How about us “sanctuary cities” keep our fucking money and defund YOU.

    • Parakeetist

      “Fucking people over even though they pay their taxes.”

    • Raan

      It’s when you remove the funf from a casaba melon with a citrus zester.

      • Parakeetist

        Wha

        Oh fuck it, yeah.

    • commatoes

      I say that when really drunk and people ask me what I want to do.

      Y’know… de fun fing.

    • Wonky “TransgenderFetus” McGoo

      This guy’s got the winning idea. Defunf that covfefe.

    • Step one Demand that Mexico pay for the wall
      Step two ???
      Step three PROFIT!

  • Nephilim
  • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

    The sportsball people have all left downtown Atlanta, but that just allowed the movie people to take over all the parking lots.

    Parked 3 lots down from work, and 9 flights up w/o working elevator. Got to see where all the NYC prop vehicles are stored. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5324e655ff8b8cb7f6b3eea9458b1ff02b03b4ba7be2324d9f067591f3bc9c8f.jpg

    Not pictured: 2 ambulances and a fire truck.

    It is for FAST AND FURIOUS 106: We Have Bills To Pay.

  • Rick Hill

    So, finally finished the gaming table and delivered it. Damn, getting awfully tired of this damn work ethic shist. Just as soon as my Democrat welfare is approved, I’m out of this rat race. I’m just going to start spitting out kids left and right to get me more of them sweet entitlements.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e8f8c16d90e31068dfa450a467dc8e34b38d46ce47374b749fbca8c6dd1472de.jpg

    • Doug Langley

      Beautiful!

      • Rick Hill

        I have to go back when I can take better shots. This washes the color out, looks kind of crayon-y
        Also, thanks

    • Juan de Fuca

      Very nice!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I think it looks lovely.

      • Rick Hill

        The guy was originally going to have Geek Chic make it. From what he said, it sounds as though the company was bought by a vulture capitalist and drove it into bankruptcy and screwed over a lot of people out of their deposits.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Sounds like you both won. Awesome!

    • Vel Venturi

      Nice!

    • rocktonsam

      curtains dude, curtains.

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah, this is proly the nicest thing in his entire house. He’s a really nice guy but he is kind of a lonely guy living in a too big home.

    • commatoes

      Padauk?

      • Rick Hill

        African mahogany

        • commatoes

          Nice, I bought some S. Amer. mahogany for guitars about 20 years ago and am still working through my stash. It one of the nicest working woods I have ever used.

  • Doug Langley
  • Nounverb911
    • Marion in Savannah

      ????

    • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

      !!!!!!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Golly, it’s been a while since I’ve wanted to break out into song. Songs that were not lugubrious Middle Ages tunes from funeral masses, that is.

    https://youtu.be/eaweoMfJlHU

    • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

      You say “lugubrious” like it’s a bug, not a feature!

  • Nounverb911
    • wait! what?

      Jazz hands? Really?

    • Doug Langley

      You mean, as opposed to how he unloaded during the interview?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Thank goodness Miller went to somebody as serious and well-respected as Sean Hannity.
      hahahahahahahahahaha!

    • commatoes
    • Christopher Story

      So, they’re gonna hate-jerk each other off to fantasies of that Jake Tapper cuck “being destroyed?” Sounds totally hetero, bros.

  • mailman27

    But, but,… he’s so SMART!!!1!1!1!!!

  • Master Contrail Program

    Looks like Mr. Mugatu just found the new face of Derelicte.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
    • Master Contrail Program

      That guy sure is a sound sleeper.

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        So is the horse.

  • rocktonsam

    Hey James o’Keefe, the chair is open dude , step up!

    • Well, he’s ugly enough, but he needs to put on some weight and gin up that face more!

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Tacos was saying there’s some new project veritas thing happening right now…anyone heard anything?

  • Juan de Fuca

    O/T but it’s finally raining in SoCal and I’m chilling to this:

    https://youtu.be/302clZSrW9Q

    • Nounverb911

      Also flooding and mud-sliding.

      • Juan de Fuca

        It is indeed. Not so good.

        • Seek

          To quote Buffet, Jimmy: We’ve got riots, fires and mudslides. We’ve got sushi in the mall.

          And fish tacos at the ball game.

    • mohave rocky

      Up here in the desert it has just finished raining for 36 hours (first since last summer) Flying pigs to follow .

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      That liver is bigger than mine.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      Ohhhh you’re positively glowing, Steve! When’s the alien chestburster due?!

  • memzilla Ω
  • Rick Hill

    How would princess Ivanka be her world of fairy and dust?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/agXr6Nq_460s.jpg

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Rick Hill

      *20,000 Marvel nerds call to sign up to be his in home nurse….

    • Marion in Savannah

      So another man in power turns out to be a groper. Quelle Surprise. Sorry if I’m not sorry — comics are fun, but sexual harassment is NOT. Not at ALL.

    • janecita

      For fucks sake, the man is 95! He doesn’t even know what groping means anymore!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Don’t be so sure — Mr. MinS’s uncle was in a nursing home and was well known for “taking a turn for the nurse.” He actually married one of them (well, he was a rich old fucker). Once a groper always a groper. FWIW, he married his last wife at 92.

      • ltmcdies

        he’s appears to well enough to be trotted out for every Marvel movie that comes down the pike.

        I do agree when elderly individuals afflicted lose inhibitions due to dementias (one of the earlier signs) that should be taken into consideration but not every old fart with grabby hands had dementia

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Is there any history of him doing this when he was younger? Honestly, for me that would make a difference.

          • therblig

            he used to ask young women if they wanted to see the thing.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Ugh.

          • Marion in Savannah

            I don’t think anyone is positively sure. Consider this:

            In the wake of the New York Times’s bombshell reporting on Harvey Weinstein’s grotesque misdeeds, a series of pop culture heroes have fallen to serious sexual harassment and abuse allegations. It sucks, as a fan, to see creators you looked up to reveal themselves to be sexual predators or harassers — so it’s no surprise that news that the man who literally created some of pop culture’s greatest heroes has been accused of sexual misconduct. But, that’s no excuse. Neither is age — some of Lee’s defenders on Twitter are already asking people to give him a break because he’s 95 years old. Age isn’t a free pass for committing a sexual crime.

            Stuart
            @FergieMIC
            The guys 95, leave Stan Lee alone for fucks sake
            5:20 PM – Jan 9, 2018
            Replies Retweets likes
            Twitter Ads info and privacy
            None of this is to say that Lee is guilty, without a shadow of a doubt, As mentioned before, false allegations are rare, but they do exist. This is just a sad (and sadly necessary) reminder that sexual assault allegations are complicated and gravely serious, and that fans of the Generalissimo shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the charges these women have reportedly leveled against Lee.

            From here:
            https://www.inverse.com/article/40064-stan-lee-sexual-misconduct-nurses-marvel

            And I’ll reiterate that Mr. MinS’s uncle was playing grab ass with the nurses in his nursing home when he was in his 90s, and was was nowhere near as rich as Stan Lee.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’m in no way excusing sexual harassment. At all. Nobody should have to deal with that at work. My point, which wasn’t well made, is that sometimes people who are older are dealing with dementia, which makes them act in ways they never would have when they were younger.

            I have worked in retail for years, and for a good long time part of my job was to watch out for shoplifters. While I am not suggesting that these are equivalent acts, we frequently had seniors who stole things and generally behaved inappropriately. Thus my comment about age. If a person who has led a blameless life starts doing things that would have previously uncharacteristic, well, I won’t let it slide, but I will suspect that something other than general assholery is going on.

      • Marion in Savannah

        As long as men are alive they know what groping is. The good ones just decide not to do it.

        • janecita

          I don’t know, I volunteered at a nursing home years ago, and the handsy old men all had some form of dementia.

    • Doug Langley

      Not surprised. He’s always been something of a jerk.

    • Rick Hill
  • JaveyDay
    • Rick Hill

      Not sure what’s going on but it doesn’t look good

      • therblig

        i think he’s being forced to have sex with rebekah mercer

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      He turned me into a Newt.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Lordy — I hope you got better because more than one Newt in the nation is WAAAAY too many. On the other hand, if she turned you into a newt I’m sure you’re fine by now.

      • JaveyDay

        You got better.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    it’s 3 Shirts Steve!

  • Nounverb911
    • WotsAllThisThen

      For I was hungry, and you did feed me. For I was grifty, and you did pay me.

    • That’s pretty brazen, but get back to me when she’s trying to grift money for a second private plane…

    • Christopher Story

      Pay back God’s things to God, but pay back Cesar’s things to me.

    • MamaBrown

      She looks like Louise Linton. Do they have them manufactured in some lab?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        In Stepford, CN.

    • therblig

      trumpy grifted her by telling her he was spiritual.

  • tehbaddr

    Not to worry, that human jizz stain will be back! He’s got his legions of fucked in the head followers, and can get a new game together real quick!

  • I think the only appropriate send off for the virulent, raciest piece of shit is vaya con dios!

    • janecita

      No, that’s way too nice. We would say, “Váyase al carajo.”

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        How about “Vete a la chingada, pendejo!”

        • janecita

          Sure, that sounds good too, but I’m Cuban we don’t say “chingada.”

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            I grew up in Colorado with chicanos.

          • janecita

            There you go. One of my best friends is Mexican, he is a big fan of that word.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well, my native language is English. I find “Fuck off, you decomposing pile of plague buboes” works for me.

      • commatoes

        A la chingada!!!

        and a pinche tu madre.

    • JaveyDay

      Vaya con dildos!

  • WilbyToad

    Court throws out NC Congressional map again

    A panel of three federal judges has ordered the state to redraw its congressional map again, forbidding North Carolina from holding this year’s scheduled U.S. House elections until it does.

    In the decision, authored by 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals Judge James Wynn, the court pointed to baldly partisan public statements by GOP mapmakers who were intent, at the time, on proving to the court and others that they had set aside racial data in redrawing the districts. The federal courts had thrown out two

    “Rather than seeking to advance any democratic or constitutional interest, the state legislator responsible for drawing the 2016 Plan said he drew the map to advantage Republican candidates because he “think[s] electing Republicans is better than electing Democrats,” Wynn wrote. “But that is not a choice the Constitution allows legislative mapdrawers to make.”

    Travis Fain / WRAL
    http://www.wral.com/court-throws-out-nc-congressional-map-again/17245449/
    Brazen egos scuttle their own malicious agenda AGAIN. Only the courts are saving us and we have to save them.

    • I haz a confuse. Is this related to the Stanford prof. map?

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • WomanInThePersistence

      Ewwwwwww…..

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Cousin Itt libel!

    • janecita

      Dildos are cheaper, and portable.

    • wait! what?

      You can get them with elf ears!

      #legolaslust*

      *Because #legolust is something completely different…

    • Juan de Fuca

      They’d probably last longer.

      • commatoes

        Dishwasher safe too.

        Try doin’ that with a real penis.

    • Very Stable Royal Ugly Dude

      Is it the Swiss? I’ll bet it’s the Swiss.

      • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

        I thought they were busy working on that other project.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          The one with all the holes in it. Cheeses of Nazareth!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Did someone say cheese?

      • commatoes

        Japanese and tentacle shaped.

    • therblig

      do they come with an extended warranty?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I don’t think robots actually come.

        • therblig

          even autoerotobots? they’re more than meets the eye

    • The Wanderer

      I confess that this intrigues me.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        So this tech may turn up in a furry story at some point?

        • The Wanderer

          It’s possible, yes, but sex bots have been a thing in all porn for years.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      What happens when the male sex robots and the female sex robots start having sex with each other?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    17 robocalls today, and it’s only 6 pm.

    • james crubb

      Wow, effdup

  • Nounverb911
  • chascates
    • gallbladder

      “Illuminati not a frivolous subject.”

      Apparently, it is.

    • ltmcdies

      is dementia going around within the old white conservative male population these days

    • Thiazin Red

      It also makes me irrationally angry that they’re advertising a fucking folded quesadilla like its some genius invention.

    • commatoes

      Oh FFS!!!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Trilateral Commission is going to be so pissed.

      • Lord Jim

        The Rosicrucians have accepted their neglect and even have plans to exploit it to take heat off their new plans to take over the world.

    • yyyaz

      No Illuminati, no Illumi….fuck it.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Neither are dysentery tacos, Charlie, but here we are.

  • james crubb

    Like how lame-streams media is saying he left, like on his own accord, no! His soggy arse was kicked to the curb, fucking enablers.

  • Michael R

    Trump administration omits Florida from offshore drilling directive amid pressure from GOP governor

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/trump-administration-omits-florida-from-offshore-drilling-directive-amid-pressure-from-gop-governor/?comments=disqus

    Was it because …

    Michael Moore Threatens to Begin Fracking Off Trump’s Florida Resort

    https://www.newsmax.com/politics/michael-moore-fracking-trump-florida/2018/01/06/id/835593/

    • therblig

      what about fuckhead up in maine?

      • commatoes

        Evidently LePage is a fan of petroleum based lubricants.

        • Nounverb911

          And mucilage…

    • Rick Hill

      Almost as though the trump administration is running the government solely for the benefit of the trump family

      Obligatory

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!
    • Msgr_MΩment

      In Nantucket.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      Fer chrissakes, libs, it’s not going to suck itself.

      Wait. Incoming video.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    On the off chance that you want to get angry about 2016 NYT/Vogel media anti-Clinton ratfucking, read this thread.
    https://twitter.com/Patrickesque/status/950605263395962880?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E3

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I don’t need the help. But thank you kindly.

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        I’m all service-y with the trigger warnings and whatnot.

  • Herewegoagain

    Fast and Fury appears to rattle the cage and make an impact and it shows , “There is honor among thieves.”….., the guy pissed against the wind , believing that American Public was ready for another Joseph Goebbels …….WOW.

    Steve Bannon steps down from Breitbart News after comments critical of Donald Trump

    I would like to share something with you

    http://www.smh.com.au/world/bannon-steps-down-from-breitbart-news-after-comments-critical-of-trump-20180109-h0fxrf.html

  • Nounverb911
    • gallbladder

      Heh, “spotted.”

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        Spotted, dick.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Liverspotted.

    • therblig
    • ariel_gee_398

      Poor bastard is already down to only one shirt.

  • WilbyToad
    • Old age and treachery, etc. etc.

      Experience counts.

    • commatoes

      She is being challenged so she has to bolster her bona fides.

      I am OK with the results regardless.

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    My local council’s panning a safe injection room. It cannot come too soon. I will be badgering both them and my local state member.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      How are you doing today?

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        Good. Angry. Motivated.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    a) I thought Bannon stepped down from Blightfart while he was on the campaign and in the Whitless House…? but the release says it was 2012 to today, Katie.

    b) the Mercers couldn’t even tell him themselves. Bannon had to hear it from his best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend who heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Susie pass-out at 31 Flavors last night??? really?

    c) first rule of FUCKING MORON CLUB: DO NOT FUCK THE MORON!

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      He stepped down the same way Trump stepped down from running his businesses.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        seems legit.

  • Nounverb911
  • Angela Ruzzo

    Congressman introduces ‘Stable Genius Act’
    https://thinkprogress.org/congressman-introduces-stable-genius-act-f915330b5ccd/
    Brendan F. Boyle, from the 13th District in Pennsylvania, introduced the STABLE GENIUS Act on Tuesday, otherwise known as the “Standardizing Testing and Accountability Before Large Elections Giving Electors Necessary Information for Unobstructed Selection” Act.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    I am so proud of the work I did today. I can’t even tell you how proud of myself I am. but we are basically going to make a rolled up piece of paper to wave at our opponents any time they piss on our shoes. it’s going to be awesome. and I did also too get the ball rolling for it to actually become law–bipartisan law. there is a state senator with an R next to their name that absolutely likes me a lot right now.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6woskofSJg

    • Marion in Savannah

      I would have loved that a whole lot more without the music at the end. Yes, I AM a nasty Old One. Now all of you children can GET OFF MY LAWN.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      So you are somewhats awesome? Just as I suspected.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        I have some parts made of awesome from Awesomevania.

  • Doug Langley
  • JoeChristmas

    Let’s not forget one THREE BILLION reasons the Mercers are siding with swindler boy. That’s roughly how many dollars they have contested with the IRS.

    • CripesAmighty

      Those people would bump off their own spawn to get to a nickel stuck to the bottom of a chair leg.

      • Lord Jim

        Don’t you know that’s where the Grand Canyon came from? Two of the Arizona Mercers spotted a penny lying on the ground at the same time.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      “Me? Just chillin.'”

    • spangled

      Milk monster thing libel

    • Thiazin Red

      That thing libelz.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    I used to give a shit but Steve Bannon ate it.

    Yes, I can see myself out, tyvm.

  • yyyaz

    CNN and MSNBC both slobbering all over Oprah. FFS.

    • spangled

      A round table based off of…a rando celebrity saying she wouldn’t run for President.

      The 24 hour news cycle is so goddamn dumb.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
      • (((Sedagive)))

        Sagan/Tyson 2020!

        Yes, I know he’s passed on…

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, they may be slobbering simply because she said mean things about what’s going on now.

      I thought we fought the “Oprah Should/Shouldn’t Be President” fight in an earlier thread.

      • yyyaz

        We did, it is so hours ago by now. With everything else that happened today, and the apparent fact that the LSM learned nothing by helping Donnie TwoPukes get elected, my minuscule hope for finding our way back gets vaporized again.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      We have always been at war with pseudoscience charlatans.

    • CripesAmighty

      And Miss Lindsey is genuflecting at the Orange kibble bowl.

    • Can we please stop making this a thing? PLEASE. I’m tired as fuck of celebrity politicians. Starting with Reagan, right through to fucking Zuckerberg throwing shit at the wall to see if it’ll stick.

      • Doug Langley

        And do NOT get me started on Ah-nold.

    • TootsStansbury

      Are media is stupid and it isn’t learning.

  • Thiazin Red

    So what are people reading apart from Fusion GPS transcripts? I just finished Days Without End a while ago, in which our gender fluid immigrant protagonist joins the army, finds true love, fights against the south in the Civil War, and adopts a Native American girl. Its the future liberals want (except the parts with the killing Native Americans, but it was set in the 1800s). The writing is very evocative and apparently there is a whole series on the family the lead character is from which I’ll have to check out.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I’m still nibbling at “Fire and Fury.” I say nibbling because if I devour too much in one sitting I find I haven’t had time to digest it properly.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        with crackers…

        • Marion in Savannah

          And nuts and fruit loops and bananas.

      • TootsStansbury

        Careful, it could make you gassy.

      • commatoes

        Maybe a nice digestivo?

        Sorry but my thoughts often turn to alcohol of late.

        • Marion in Savannah

          I’ve got a nice port in reserve. I’m thinking maybe a small snifter of that might fill the bill.

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      What’s the takeaway from the transcripts? I have yet to read a succinct review.

      • Fusion GPS comes off as competent and professional, the whole Trump clan is up to their eyeballs in money laundering for the Russians, the Chinese and the Kazakhs.

        Also, too, Republicans would very much like it if Hillary could be to blame for the whole thing, thank you very much.

        • Marion in Savannah

          So. Do you make your living writing Classic Comics? (Hand to God, I got through one English class in middle school on the Classic Comics issue of Ivanhoe. I really wanted to read it, but Oh Holy Shit (a carol I probably will write one day) the horrendous way it was taught turned it into the Bataan Death March of books.

          • commatoes

            Same with me and the Classic Comics of Moby Dick. It is now one of my favorite books (though I do not recommend it for a casual reader). I got exposed to Dumas the same way.

          • No, I do not… Why do you ask? That seems a strange question.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Closed “Wuthering Heights” last night, started “Playing With Fire” (Lawrence O’Donnell)

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I am re-reading The Golem and the Jinni.

      • Arolpin

        I loved that book. I was deep into my weird Jewish novel jag at the time.

    • commatoes

      Waiting on my copy of Biomimicry: Innovation Inspired by Nature, by Janine M. Benyus.

    • I just finished “Neogenesis” by Sharon Lee & Steve Miller, and I’m getting ready to wade through Fire and Fury.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      1. From the age of six forward, I saved all of the backs of all of my breakfast cereal boxes in albums for reading again later. Now is the time. Nearing 60, I decided that I had better start now or I might not have them all re-read before I kick the bucket.

      2. The Fire and the Fury It manages to keep my interest.

      3. An ARM Cortex System on a Chip development kit’s documentation. (If you have to ask, don’t.)

      OT: Six days without a single cigar because I’m getting over a fucking cold.
      Also note: #1, above was not 100% serious so you can stop worrying about me.

      • Marion in Savannah

        If you’re even considering quitting smoking this is the easiest time for you to do it. I only managed to finally quit when I was so effing sick I didn’t even want to smoke. If you’re only sad because your cold has been keeping you from enjoying your evening cigar, then steam ahead as you were. (I try very hard not to be a “quit smoking evangelist,” but having done it I might have a tip or two.)

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Agreed. I marked my calendar with a goal to avoid smoking for thirty days. When I meet that goal, I will be able to buy the next expensive piece of gear I need for my electronics workbench–which costs about the same as the cigars I won’t be smoking.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      A lengthy book on the political and military history of ancient Rome. Some back issues of Model Airplane News. A fifty-year-old book on slot cars. It’s a light load but I’m mostly doing graphics work and prepping some leather for a shirt this week.

    • Old town Urbandale

      I’m reading “Dylan Goes Electric.” After 250 pages of backstory on Dylan, Seegar, Guthrie, folk music, Newport, etc. etc., Bobby’s finally onstage with the Butterfield band.

  • WilbyToad

    YIKES
    At least 13 dead as mudslides wipe away homes in fire-ravaged Southern California
    by Noah Smith, Avi Selk and Eli Rosenberg / The Washington Post
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2018/01/09/after-devastating-fires-mudslides-are-now-wiping-away-homes-in-california/?utm_term=.9a639e8735c7

    We’re getting gentle rain here in AZ. This storm was rated only as a moderate threat in California and crews had been working tirelessly to contain slides. Terribly tragic, and it does not bode well.

    • Marion in Savannah

      But of course climate change will continue to be a Chinese hoax, right? RIGHT?

      • jowgajen

        This one isn’t climate change. This is normal and more about building your house on the slope of major mountains right by the sea.

        • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

          But the preceding drought may not have been entirely normal. It’s January in Denver and 60 degrees F(ucked).

          • jowgajen

            The fire is linked to climate change, actually. Because the high vegetation growth was from major rains we had last winter that were linked to an historically powerful La Nina.

          • TJ Barke

            And post burn areas are prone to mudslides as the roots are no longer holding the soil.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Where is this “gentle rain” you speak of?

      • WilbyToad

        The western deserts. It should be impacting Phoenix and Tucson in about four hours.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Hope so. Cloudy all day here in Tucson but cleared up late afternoon.

          • WilbyToad

            I’m in Tucson too. Hiya!

          • yyyaz

            Still nothing but big wind and clouds up here in the high country.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Mars.” — Ray Bradbury

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Will there be chronicles?

    • jowgajen

      The pics that are starting to come out are heartbreaking. There’s more than 13 dead, many people still missing.

      http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-rainfall-mudflow-20180109-story.html

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Is it in the burn areas? Those are especially vulnerable.

      • jowgajen

        Near the burn area, but apparently took 4″ of rain overnight and the mud from the up mountain burn area took a path through their neighborhood on its way downhill.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Lots of topsoil in the “foothills” (California foothills are taller than East Coast mountains often).

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I was JUST looking at properties in that area.

      ETA: I don’t mean to heartlessly not mention the deaths. It must be horrible.

      • Jonny On Maui

        We looked at Yosemite along with Hawaii and other areas. The places we looked at around Yosemite burned.

        I know it’s natural and some species require it, but I got tired of the fire and couldn’t take it anymore.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I don’t mind fires; I grew up in Eastern Washington. But I don’t want to pay $500k for a house that is more or less guaranteed to burn within ten years.

    • Kooolest G

      I’m sure trump will show up soon to throw paper towels at us. oh wait blue state? drop dead

  • Rick Hill
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Maybe he will just go and find a nice, quiet place to drink himself to death with whiskey bought with those Seinfeld royalties?

    Is that too much to ask for?

    • What would be nicer is if he were sued into oblivion, had no money left and was forced to do the same, but with off brand rubbing alcohol from Rite Aid.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Thunderbird, please. Whiskey is too good for him.

      • yyyaz

        Ford no longer hates the Mogen Davids?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Hey, that’s MY plan.

  • Nounverb911
    • AJ Milne

      Pro-tip: get those things cleaned, first, guy.

      Betting there’s almost nothing funkier than six year old BO suddenly heated by an iron*.

      (*Just something I’ve heard.)

      • Marion in Savannah

        Also, too, and in addition… I’m willing to bet that Sloppy Steve don’t do no laundry but sends all of his wretched shirts to the dry cleaner. Just sayin’ that those folks don’t always get all the funk out…

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    As the French say: “He is been ban, non?…” (Okay, have at me you hosers! I’m a couple drinks into it and I don’t give a damn…)

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Mon Dieu!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Mon aéroglisseur est plein d’anguilles.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Maralogotov!….

      • TundraGrifter

        Quelle fromage!

    • Mary Theresa

      Juoda!

    • commatoes

      Merde dude!

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Escargot!

  • Nounverb911
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Why is Bradley Whitford all hot to me now that he is entirely gray? It must be the beard.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    US police shot and killed 987 people in 2017
    https://www.yahoo.com/news/us-police-shot-killed-987-people-2017-wpost-155653454.html
    Meanwhile, Trump takes credit for zero commercial passenger jet fatalities in 2017.

    • Nounverb911

      And they are trying real hard to keep their numbers up….

      https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/950759105332948992

      • OutOfOrbit

        FUCKING pigs

      • TootsStansbury

        Goddamnit

      • Red Bird

        Why? I knew the joy wouldn’t last.

      • Lord Jim

        Don’t read the comments. Else you will be unsurprised that the friends’ testimony that the victim was wrestled to the ground before a cop jumped up and murdered him is rejected out of hand, while the cops’ story that the kid fired on him assumed true.

        • TootsStansbury

          When are they going to gaze at their navels long enough to realize the it might be just a little problem with racism in our society?

    • Rick Hill

      Well, he wishes he could brag on this one…

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk
  • Nounverb911

    Someone reminded trump that Mar-a-Lagao was in Florida.

    https://twitter.com/AP/status/950874892592918528

  • Mr. Blobfish

    There’s never enough skinhead surf bands. Or integrated once. https://youtu.be/JpM5kzY8-20

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

    Cillizza News Network breaking newz from Trump’s mtg today.

    Donald: “We’ve greatly stiffened, as you know.”

    Now back to you, Dick.

    http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/09/politics/trump-immigration-best-lines-anaylsis/index.html

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      We’ll have to leave it there, Savannah

      • Marion in Savannah

        ‘SCUSE US??? (Yeah, I know what you mean, but still we get testy sometimes. We’re perilously close to both Florida and SC, which is just over the river.)

  • Red Bird

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL :) :0 :) :P :{]

  • TootsStansbury

    Bannon will now go spend more time with his family. Oh, no family? His pack of acid-proof mutant rats then.

    • Marion in Savannah

      He’s bloated and fat enough, and has enough alcohol in his blood stream, that those rats may make him Item #1 on their menu. We can but hope…

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        “Hey, Steve Bannon may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’ll never know because I wouldn’t eat the filthy motherfucker”

  • Nounverb911
    • Lord Jim

      Keep in mind, Rick Wilson, in a previous Bannon takedown, spoke of a time when Blightfart was run by “a better man”.

      • OrG Unstable Genius

        Ouch.

    • MANGO CRIMES

      eh, fuck Rick Wilson

  • aktlib101

    Wow, some idiot Trumptard in the early Trump/Flynn NSC proposed to withdraw troops from Eastern Europe so Putin is pleased. And pay back for his help with the elections, one can presume
    https://www.thedailybeast.com/white-house-official-floated-withdrawing-us-forces-to-please-putin

    Un-fucking-believably patriotic, isn’t it?
    Screw NATO and appease Russia, the new policy of the IQ45 “stable horse’s ass genius in the WH”
    Can they be any more transparent?

  • WeaselPoo

    You know, he’s always been a loose bannon but now he’s…..a loose Bannon .

  • Me not sure

    In the alternate reality in which we live, Fredo has just sent Michael on a boat ride.

  • proudgrampa

    I hope Steve had a good 401k.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Is that the type of acid he uses for his hot tub?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Let him eat hobo beans.

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        Or just hobos.

        • TootsStansbury

          Oh fr Chrissakes, he’s going to turn into one of those legends; like the Bunnyman.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        he certainly looks the part

    • aktlib101

      Just another name for the ZyklonB supplement

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      401K = 262.13ºF

      That’ll do.

    • MANGO CRIMES

      he’s rich as fuck, sadly – he made a ton of money off the (deeply unfunny, don’t @ me) Seinfeld series back in the day, and from selling orphans etc

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    TIL: Brewster’s Millions was a remake of a 1945 movie of the same name. (And it’s on TCM right now)

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I never knew there was a remake? I remember seeing the original when I was young though.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        The remake was the 80s one, which I thought was the original!

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          I saw the black and white one. But my dad would only watch old black and white movies.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          How is the remake?

          • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

            I liked it. It’s got Richard Pryor, John Candy and a pre-Law & Order Jerry Orbach. It’s also the only version that offers Brewster an alternative – he can take the challenge (spend $30 million in 30 days to earn $300 million), or he can take $1 million and walk away.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            The Richard Pryor one? I haven’t seen it since I was a kid, but I loved it back then!

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          There’ve been something like 7 or 8 film adaptations of either the book or the stageplay based on the book going all the way back to Cecil B. DeMille. Most of them simplify the plot to make it more along the lines of “teaching the main character the value of his/her money” (yes, there was a version called Miss Brewster’s Millions).

          The original book had Brewster inherit from two relatives who hated each other. One gave him a million dollars, the other gave him seven million on the condition that he spend every penny of what the first relative left him.

  • Treg Brown
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I like the way Opie just snickers

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

        Aunt Bea is disappoint.

      • Lefty Wright

        I like the way he doesn’t appear to have a vain bone in his body. While not looking like he just woke up behind a dumpster like Bannon, he’s obviously not into glamor treatments.

        • commatoes

          The benefits of being born with testicles.

    • Arrested Development voice over voice: It was then that Tobias knew he was in trouble.

  • yyyaz

    All hail Joy Reid shoving the Simpson transcript squarely up the Repukes’ sore butts.

    • WeaselPoo

      How the hell Joy got her position I don’t know….because she is such a badass—smart, quick witted, keenly focused on issues, always well prepared and doesn’t fall for b.s. or play the be nice game so many other anchors do.

  • amrak63
  • OrG Unstable Genius

    Credit where credit’s due. Sloppy Steve is pretty good.

  • MANGO CRIMES
    • BreakingDeadMen

      The sadness is that there aren’t more stains on Breitbart’s grave

      • DrBigHead

        People keep washing them off with, well., you know….

    • janecita
    • mailman27

      He should be more worried about the stains on his gym sox.

    • rosenbomb

      cool story Ben, you’re still a disappointment

      • mike

        Why, he wouldnt buy you condoms and now you have 8 kids because of him?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Needs moar taint.

    • commatoes

      Then Bannon should not be wearing Andy’s underwear.

      It’s an easy fix really.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    hola friends!
    pretty damn good day:

    positive feedback on my motion (very positive in some places!) He tweaked the language, moved one or two things around – but at the end of the day, something that is very much mine got filed in court and put before a judge. MY FIRST!

    Also too, I was in high demand by several people during the same 30 minute period late in the afternoon.

    How was everyone else’s day?

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Hiya Tacos, congrats on your excellent day. You rock!

      (Any word on that veritas thingy you mentioned earlier?)

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks! is pretty exciting. I didn’t get called a moron – not that this attorney ever would, it’s just one of these deep seated fears. He said I had the law right and he liked my writing. What else can a non-lawyer ask for?!?

        As for the veritas thing, what would you like? That thing I posted was just a ruling on a motion or two.

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          Oh I must have missed that. The last post I saw said you were reading something about them and might have something later.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah, my bad. Yeah, so they “infiltrated” the DNC and taped some conversations involving confidential and sensitive information (run of the mill confidential and sensitive, not the stuff of right wing wet dreams), followed by the standard deciptive editing. There’s a Sinclair Broadcasting involvement too.

            The thing that got my ears up was a mention of how they STOLE documents.

            For bonus fun – their motion got denied.

            https://ecf.dcd.uscourts.gov/cgi-bin/show_public_doc?2017cv1047-25

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          And that’s awesome! Of course they love you, because you work hard and are awesome!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            Mom?

            ; p

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            (pinches your cheek)
            Now print out the law words you wrote so I can put them on the fridge!

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      the chair of senate state affairs kinda likes me now.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Congratulations Taco, it really sounds like you know your stuff. Keep up the good work.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks buddy!

        and trust me, it’s all an act. ; p

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          That means no Dunning -Kruger for you, which is a good thing. Just don’t let em know you think it’s an act.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Congrats! I spent the morning in the cane grass mines…

      • proudgrampa

        Oh, you poor thing…

        • Jonny On Maui

          Beach tomorrow neener neener! 😉

          • proudgrampa

            Why, you…

      • Rick Hill

        That’s some wicked sharp stuffs

    • Rick Hill

      I didn’t jump out of a window today or run over any cats…

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        I read that as “I didn’t jump out of a window today just to run over all the cats.”

        • Rick Hill

          That, too. Though, generally speaking, not jumping out a window is one of the easier things I accomplish, daily

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            but the way I read it would imply that you did, but you were all out of cats to run over and there was something else you meant to do.

          • Rick Hill

            I know but it broke my brain to read that

    • proudgrampa

      I was dismissed as a potential juror in a Murder / Robbery case today.

      That was interesting.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        that is interesting – for cause? why?

        • proudgrampa

          My suspicion is that it was because my son is a Law Enforcement Officer. This is the second time I’ve answered a question about “any relationship with a law enforcement officer” and been dismissed.

          Also, I was one person out of 58 and in the third row of prospective jurors — all of the chosen jurors were from the first two rows.

          Hizonner said that would happen…

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i hear that’s one of the side benefits of being in the field – my teacher who works for DA’s office gets struck every time for obvious reasons.

            (and that’s a horrible thing for me to say; jury duty is our civic duty and we should embrace it)

          • proudgrampa

            You’re right – I believe it’s a civic duty. Really surprised at the number of retired cops, lawyers, and other legally-connected people in the pool. All dismissed, of course.

          • NellCote71

            I was surprised how many people in my Jury pool were dismissed for serious misdemeanors like theft. Some had even served time. Isn’t this sort of thing screened beforehand?

          • proudgrampa

            Didn’t see any of that today. Maybe some jurisdictions screen better than others? Three people were dismissed for hardship (two sole caregivers, one fibromyalgia victim).

          • Arolpin

            I always report for jury duty and never get picked. I always answer the questions honestly, but the fact that my mother was a DA, an assistant AG, and then a death-penalty appeal specialist, that my sister-in-law is an assistant DA, her husband is a cop, my father-in-law was a cop then the head of a juvenile prison generally gets the defense to reject me. The fact that I have close family members who did prison time gets me booted by the prosecution. They never even get to the point where they ask me my views on policing.
            I know that I’ll eventually get stuck on a grand jury, but that’s OK, because I can schedule that.

          • proudgrampa

            I would love to sit on a grand jury. That would be grand!

          • NellCote71

            See my comment above. So disappointed.

      • NellCote71

        My most bitter disappointment was being dismissed for Grand Jury duty.

        • proudgrampa

          I know, right? That’s gotta be the sweetest gig around!

    • weighmaster

      I weighed all of the trucks.

    • Lord Jim

      Congrats! :D

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Yay for you. It sounds like you’ve found your groove, in a place that appreciates your abilities.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks, they really are amazingly cool people. It makes the work all that much more fun.

        • Marion in Savannah

          When you’re working with a) cool people, and (MUCH more important) b) people who appreciate your abilities you have found a place to stay. That’s what I found after several jobs down here in Savannah after moving from NYC. I’m still working for my favorite doc as a private contractor (doing transcription) after having retired 4 years ago. Having worked for that practice for 20+ years. This long POS is just to say that it sounds like you’ve found a place where people you like appreciate what you have to offer. Yay you, and KEEP ON DOING WHAT YOU LOVE!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            thanks MIS! I have recognized how special it is and plan to stay for a long while.

    • Me not sure

      Bravo, Taco!

    • commatoes
    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Congratulations! You’re no longer just going through the motions!

      … what?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You deserve all the good things. Just sayin’.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks friend! y’all too.

        : D

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Good for you.
      I watched the MAGA coalition begin to fall apart. Great day.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    for those who didn’t hear last night or this morning: JJP’s adoption fell through. I’m trying to find out why and if she’s back with the other foster family. but we need to bug the shit out of Fartknocker to adopt her.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd64d54f63dc6c2ed9b2000f1dc93ed8b6a9fd5b0375b8c8c1e1a6c5e69558e4.jpg

    • janecita

      Poor baby, that sucks:-(

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      Oh, no. I am so sorry.

  • Anna Rompage

    Someone read Donad the Dotard’s lips while he was singing the national anthen last night….

    Oh say can you see me,
    by the 11am morning light
    I proudly hailed myself, while the alt right was gleaming
    Who’s broad shoulders and white teeth,
    shone perseverely through the fight

    And Trump tower’s golden glare
    the heavy smog floated through the air
    Gave proof to the land
    That Jerry Springer’s still here

    Oh say I am the president
    oh say I am the president,
    oh say I am the president
    And a Happy New year…..

  • Nounverb911
    • ariel_gee_398

      “That’s what CNN is for,” they continued.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        unless Andy Lackwit gets him first

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          ‘No, sir, that was Foster Brooks. This is Steve Bannon.’

    • “Until he’s a hotter, younger woman.”

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        “or at least blonder”

      • starfanglednut

        *envisions Steve Bannon in a skirt. Shudders uncontrollably

        • commatoes

          On the Fox & Friends curvy couch and nothing to obstruct the view….

          I am so very sorry…

          I will see myself out.

          • starfanglednut

            Gah!

            *pours bleach directly into eyes

          • commatoes

            Bannon recreating the famous scene from Basic Instinct.

            I am sorry and will chip in for any therapy you may need to recover.

    • Red Richmond

      “That’s great that you can bend yourself around like that, but we’re looking for someone to suck our dicks, not their own…”

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    I am watching Star Trek Beyond now, why is it every Star Trek movie they wind up destroying the ship? Doesnt anyone question why these great captains need a new ship every few years?

    • Jonny On Maui

      I just restarted Battlestar Galactica. Yes, the fighters go like balloons, but the mothership can take a 50 megaton nuke.
      Built to last…

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      “There really are so many ways to blow up this ship. It’s almost a design flaw.”

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Then they build a brand new fancy ship, 3 missions later its scrap metal and rinse and repeat, then offer the captain an admiral position.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          It’s really jarring because when they blew up the Enterprise in the Prime timeline, the ship had already existed in-universe for a quarter of a century. So it was an old warhorse that was ready for retirement.
          In the Abramsverse, it’s less than 5 years old or so.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        then again, being attacked by zillions of swarm ships is kinda hard to anticipate

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Shouldn’t they have scouts or something to make sure its safe before sending the flagship?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            They have Kirk, what more do they need?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        I’ve never been able to figure out why the control consoles are always spewing huge sparks and catching fire. Are they running 220V through them? Does the Federation have some sort of rule against relays?

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          The Original Series wasn’t as bad about this (I can think of maybe a half-dozen episodes out of the series where a console actually exploded and/or sparked). The movies and the other series really picked up the (network-mandated) ball and ran with it.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      same reason local police depts need new cruisers every other year- because they can

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        “Well they have a new model out, lets find a way to get a new one”

      • Jonny On Maui

        “I wanna drive the tank!”

    • WeaselPoo

      Also….50% of the command (Kirk, Spock Bones) constantly going together to investigate risky planetside situations.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        It also happens in every TNG movie.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        been that way for the entire ST universe. Quit sending your most needed senior officers on every away mission!

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          That was one of the interesting parts of “The Ultimate Computer”. Kirk puts together a landing party consisting of himself, Dr. McCoy, Spock, an astrobiologist, and the ship’s chief geologist for a mineral survey. M-5 suggests the landing party consist of Spock, the same astrobiologist, and the assistant geologist. When asked why Kirk and McCoy were not selected M-5 simply calls them “Nonessential personnel”.

        • commatoes

          And one red shirt.

        • Ms.Moon

          Mr. Spock needs to be there to snark, and Dr. McCoy be there to bitch and Jim to enjoy it.

      • commatoes

        How else do you meet alien space babes.

    • Parakeetist

      They drink too much?

    • commatoes

      Probably so each movie gets a new ship and collectable companies maintain their revenue streams.

  • janecita

    Oh my fucking God! What the FUCK is wrong with some women???

    Catherine Deneuve says men should be ‘free to hit on’ women

    https://www.theguardian.com/film/2018/jan/09/catherine-deneuve-men-should-be-free-hit-on-women-harvey-weinstein-scandal?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

    • OutOfOrbit

      Define “hit on”

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      “Rape is a crime, but trying to seduce someone, even persistently or cack-handedly, is not – nor is men being gentlemanly a macho attack,” said the letter published in the newspaper Le Monde.

      “Men have been punished summarily, forced out of their jobs when all they did was touch someone’s knee or try to steal a kiss,” said the letter, which was also signed by Catherine Millet, author of the explicit 2002 bestseller The Sexual Life of Catherine M.

      Men had been dragged through the mud, they argued, for “talking about intimate subjects during professional dinners or for sending sexually charged messages to women who did not return their attentions”.

      Ok, where to start with this bullshit? First talking about sex during a professional dinner isnt professional unless you work in the porn industry and even then it still might not be professional. Also no one is saying you can’t flirt or anything, just know when to take no for an answer and the time and place for it. Also no touching without permission. Not hard to do.

      • Parakeetist

        She has no idea what she’s talking about. Asshole.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          I dont know who she is. But her bullshit sounds like the right wing bullshit.

          • janecita

            Old French actress, famous 100 years ago.

          • puredog

            Her second major international movie — after “Umbrellas of Cherbourg” — was the spectacular and riveting, but still, Roman Polanski, movie “Repulsion.”

          • efoveks

            Young un! ;)

            She was the Chanel no.5 girl for many years after she made it big. She did a vampire movie with David Bowie some time after that, too. Anyway, she is a Very Old who has not aged well.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Basic stuff one should learn in kindergarten. Hands to yourself. No means no.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Shouldn’t you know that before kindergarten?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Depends on your home life. I was a house dad when the spawn were in kindergarten. I volunteered in class. Some of those guttersnipes showed up never having heard the word ‘no’.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Well, before kindergarten you’re learning not to hit your little friends with toys. So, yeah, it’s really pretty much the same thing. So it turns out that you’re completely right.

      • janecita

        Flirting is one thing, touching, groping, leering is another.

      • TJ Barke

        Trying, unsolicited, to kiss someone is not fucking okay.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          IKR? You would think someone in their 70’s would know that.

          • efoveks

            She’s looking for someone to hit on her. Maybe?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I knew I loved you in a platonic, not-workplace-way for a reason. It’s because you are a decent person.

      • commatoes

        Simple test for the workplace.

        If you are one of these butt hurts MRAs or INCELS complaining about this. Swap the genders and think how you would feel on the recieving end.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Dont they know the rule “dont shit where you eat”? Workplace relationships are generally awkward in one way or another and its even more awkward if you break up or get into an argument then have to work together.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Sorry. Requires empathy…

          • commatoes

            I think I wasn’t being clear. A MRA getting hit on by a male coworker.

            I am assuming a degree of homophobia.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Got it…

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I really do need to work on my scrolling down skills.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That requires the human skills to be empathetic. You are mighty optimistic.

          • commatoes

            IDK, they have a lot of experience imagining a woman touching their naughty bits. Changing it to a man might not be too hard.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        Kinsey libels!

      • TootsStansbury

        That entire statement made me want to toss my supper. Fuck.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      She’s still alive?

      • janecita

        Unfortunately.

    • Me not sure

      “Forget about her, Jake, it’s Frenchietown.

    • aktlib101

      Nobody is saying men should not “hit” on women, or vice-versa.
      The point of the entire movement is that the “hit” STOPS when the woman (or the man) says NO.
      Why is that so difficult to comprehend?

      • Marion in Savannah

        ZACKLY THIS. ABOLUTELY AND TOTALLY ZACKLY THIS.

        • Me not sure

          I like your avatar. Can I buy you a juice box?

      • Me not sure

        Also too, not at work.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Duh duh duh.
        I really want to know how someone doesn’t understand this…

    • Meccalopolis

      Belle du hier

      • janecita

        Avant-hier, she is old;-)

    • proudgrampa

      Bless her heart…

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      okay. but masturbating in front of them once they have already given you a clear indication that they are not interested is still not a good idea. they are not playing hard to get and they do not want to see your peen.

      • janecita

        Showing your unwanted dick is never a good idea.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          and yet, they continue to think “this one time it will be a good idea”.

    • efoveks

      Cate honey, grow the fuck up.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’m already wasting time so I didn’t follow linky, but technically yes anyone, not just men (wtf,is it the 50s?),can in an appropriate situation (bar, cafe,etc) and hit on someone. And if they shoot you down/clearly are not interested, you STOP.
      Do we seriously need tutorials on how to be on the pull and NOT be creepy/criminal?

  • Me not sure

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d2983a161edb9d8d30efed0b069682f63bc335bb9705359e1a3022238df43a09.jpg
    A la the USSR, the next time you see this photo of the Breitbart staff, Bannon will not be in it.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      he totally looks like a homeless drunk photobombed somebody’s promotion party.

      • Meccalopolis

        Zing!

        • Me not sure

          The black guy was just motioned over from across the room to balance the shot.
          “Breitbart been berry, berry good to me!”
          Chico Escuela

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      you can take their boss, but you will never take their 3 Shirts Steve cardboard cutout!

  • Jonny On Maui

    So. 2 dozen lemons = 2 liters of juice…

    YMMV

    • commatoes

      I only crack this beast a half dozen times a year but it was $50 well spent.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d186b6a52be1b3fcc4e6c99f3756297b464d0ced3fe0cd4336465c77fdd411c3.jpg

      • Jonny On Maui

        I really need one of those. I still have the limes, oranges and cuties to process…

        • commatoes

          The Canadian branch of TJ Maxx had a bunch of them a few years ago. They were basically half price until the last few that were pastel pink. I can deal with it.

        • commatoes

          I love living in Canada but having good citrus to process in January…

          Every avocado I have ever eaten is judged against one I had fresh in California.

          Imma gonna go back for some whiskey now.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            We have 2 huge avocado trees. I have never seen avocados the size of these in my life, and they are gorgeous. Just a couple makes a bunch of guacamole. All organic. We do nothing to them at all. It’s crazy.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            No. Of course I am not jealous. Not at all. Why do you ask?

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            You definitely have to avoid them when they come out of the top of the trees! But as long as you don’t let them knock you out, you’re good to go.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            *munches on her seasonal kale and root vegegeables.. tries not to look bitter.. fails.*

          • commatoes

            IIRC, there were “strawberries” on sale just before Christmas and there are greenhouse tomatoes all year. It is never the same.

          • Ms.Moon

            I grew up with avocado trees you really don’t need to do anything it is the soil. My grandfather has these huge banana trees with gorgeous bananas and he does nothing to them either.

      • efoveks

        *snicker* it looks like a medical device…

        • commatoes

          Only when horizontal….

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Not much different then what they use for mammograms.

          • NellCote71

            Snicker. Especially if it is ice cold.

  • Nounverb911

    That’s gonna be a lot of ‘Frequent Flyer Miles’….
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/950887701863174144

    • Marion in Savannah

      Damn… I know she’s young and springy and in good shape but that poor child is embarking on a worldwide odyssey that will take decades. I hope she’s made arrangements to do her show where she winds up on the tour. I can only hope that I live long enough to see the end of the tour.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Child? She’s almost 50.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Her kids will be adults by the time she gets back.

    • aktlib101

      Alternatively (and cheaper too) she/they can go to the UN building in NYC, camp in front of the entrance, and start apologizing to EVERYONE that goes in.
      Sooner or later, everyone will be offended, no matter what country

  • idiotboy

    Open thread yea!!
    Lots of cat people out there.
    A son left his cat and is on an isle in the Aegean writing a novel.
    He left us his cat and there has been nothing but trouble with resident cat.
    Yesterday resident cat f many years left a clear statement (actually brownish) while three feet in front of me and while staring at me. An obvious, too obvious, fuck you. I would include cute kitty pics but it was not cute so I did not put steaming pile of shit in scrap book. Also did not put feces in the book.
    Advice anyone?

    • Nounverb911

      Can you FEDEX the son’s cat to the Aegean island?

    • Parakeetist

      Square root of cat equals cat

    • TJ Barke

      Feliway.

      • idiotboy

        How does this effect humans, asking for a friend.

        • TJ Barke

          Makes you a furry.

          • C4TWOMAN

            I Lol’d loudly. Good thing I m alone…

        • jowgajen

          I don’t think we notice it. I’ve never noticed it in my parents or neighbors houses that use it. It never worked for any of my cats, though.

        • C4TWOMAN

          It’s a vaguely pleasant natural smell, but usually unnoticeable.

    • ariel_gee_398

      If you haven’t done so, add a littler box, in a different location if possible. Separate them if possible.
      Feliway works sometimes to calm them.

      • idiotboy

        Two litter boxes already, upstairs and down.

        • jowgajen

          Then you need a third, maybe. (Not joking.)

          • idiotboy

            Cannot have too many. The hell with two legged guests.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Chances are the two legged guests won’t want to come over if the cat is crapping on the rug in front of them anyway. Or maybe they would – different strokes and all.

        • ariel_gee_398

          The rule is allegedly one for each cat plus an extra. Cats don’t really tend to shit out of animus – they’re tidy and would almost always use a box unless something is wrong. They are afraid, something medically is up, or the box is really untidy.

          You could also try that Cat Attract litter. Some people swear by it.

          If you have the ability, separating them and restarting introductions might work.

          • idiotboy

            Like middle school dance.

    • jowgajen

      Extra litter box, for sure. Doubling up on resources can help with territorial behaviour.

      You should separate new cat to his own space, if available and close the door. Visit kitty regularly, but keep cats totally separate for at least 1 week.

      Then you start to feed kitties on either side of closed door. Crack the door a little so they can just barely see the other. Swap cat spaces, maybe. That sort of thing. Do the slow introduction thing for another week.

      This should reset things between them. They may never be friends, but less drama hopefully.

      • DirtyHippyLiberal

        Jackson Galaxy?! Is that you??

    • BloviateMe

      Add a dog to the scenario.

      There’s no way that can help, but it’d make for funny stories, me thinks.

      • msanthropesmr

        Cat poo is like Tootsie rolls for dogs

        • BloviateMe

          Our beagle goes right to the source and rims out the cat. It’s pretty gross.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Dude. We didn’t need that mental image.

          • BloviateMe

            I’m a lib, I like to share.

          • Red Bird

            Pretty gross. No, extremely gross.

      • C4TWOMAN

        In some cases it can make the cats bond over the mutual threat..

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It would also help with cat poop cleanup. Dogs are notorious that way.

    • msanthropesmr

      Get rid of the son.

    • Bananas Foster

      Do you have anything that would have your son’s scent on it? If you do, put it where the cat sleeps.

      Poor thing is having separation anxiety.

      • idiotboy

        Do we have anything without son’s scent? Or the cat, or the other cat, or the old dead dogs and other dead animals, and old girlfriends/boyfriends of all the above?
        No.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      It can be stress, especially if said poo is kind of soft- “I’m scared shitless” came from somewhere. That’s where reintroducing cats might help. Kitty might not feel safe using catbox as she might be afraid of being attacked by the other cat. She feels safe in front of you.
      Cats are aliens, but they don’t do spite.
      Finally, rule of thumb in multi cat household- litter boxes=number of cats plus one. Two cats, three litter boxes.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        I agree with this. How were they introduced? Did newcat just arrive on the scene wii the run of the house? When I got a new cat I kept her in her own room for a few days, original boycat knew she was in there, but wasn’t aggressive. They’d stick their paws under the door, after a few days I put boycat in the room and put girl cat in the rest of the house for an hour or so, so they could both get used to each other’s smell and newgirlcat could explore. Finally, I had a really big dog kennel and I moved it to the living room and put newgirlcat in it, with boycat able to see her and smell her and still have her kind of separate, they were very interested in each other, and boycat would get a little hissy at first, but after a couple of days I got rid of the kennel and they’ve been housemates ever since. At that house I had three litter boxes, and the whole “getting to know you process” took about a week, but it was totally worth it. I had friends totally giving me shit, saying “just throw them together and they’ll figure it out,” but I’m glad I dorked out on the process. To;dr, reintroduce them. Put new cat in its own room for a few days, let them mingle for short periods, then multiple litter boxes and feeding area.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          We forget, because we are social animals, and not territorial the way they are. From a cats perspective it’s like saying “ I brought home your new sister wife, or brother husband- hope you like them”- and you’re not that religion.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            LOL – exactly!

    • goCatgo

      Cat is not impressed with writing a novel in the Aegean, or with novels, or with the Aegean. I bet your son didn’t explain any thing to him, and he is rightly PISSED. Have your son call him and apologize tell him everything will be alright and you will totally take excellent care of him, and will spoil him for as long as he has the sads.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Show him a cookbook that has various cat recipes in it. Then have a local Chinese restaurant owner come over.

    • Red Bird

      I had a boyfriend once who said he wished he could communicate his anger the same way our pets do. I know that doesn’t help you but I hope it made you laugh.

    • therblig

      when he returns from his odyssey, he may have to pretend that he doesn’t recognize his cat.

  • Nounverb911
    • rosenbomb

      how to “stairs”

    • hudson

      this god guy is getting on my nerves, with all his post-fact gyaan. we already knew these things down here. you, he who of all the omnipresence, knew all this already, no? why the fuck did you subject us to him.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      that he’s not supposed to perv on his own daughter.
      that he’s supposed to be able to wake himself up as an adult rather than having his own daughter play mommy.
      that he is supposed to keep his hands to himself.
      that he’s not supposed to throw things at people’s heads.
      that he should not violate the Twitter TOS.
      that he should just not be.
      that you’re not supposed to burn steak or put katsup on it.
      that McDonald’s is a guilty pleasure meal, not a diet.
      that orange really is not an appealing color on him.
      that he should not put the mane of that lion his sons killed on his head and expect everyone else to support his fantasy that it’s “real hair”.
      that he should tell his sons to stop killing endangered animals.
      that he should move into the basement of Trump Tower and never bother anyone again.
      that hubris is a bad thing.

      • Red Bird

        Hey, how’s the doggy running for office thing going? Did she make any progress with the non-stuffed demographic?

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          no. all the things are indoors right now so I can’t take her anywheres. but we will be going to this MLK day thing.

  • BloviateMe

    Holy guacamole! See now, this is why I need to quit going to work, I miss all the fun stuff.

    I think it’s my duty to head over to Breitfart and “console” that ragtag band of idiots.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      You are a very kind person.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Extra points for vigorously defending Bannon and agreeing that Trump was an idiot and nothing without Bannon, and Don Jr. was a treasonous idiot.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      What a thoughtful gift! Just please follow standard decontamination procedures.

  • msanthropesmr
    • TJ Barke

      The Beans!

    • Parakeetist

      Arf arf

    • proudgrampa

      Woof!

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Very serious expression

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      I hear they are renaming it Beanbart.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Or Beanfart.

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          That would, undoubtedly, be an intellectual improvement.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Beanie is far too nice to wish that on him.

  • Mahousu

    I hope they at least gave him a few more shirts to wear as a going-away present. He’s only got three shirts on, and with it being so cold lately, he really should have like five or six.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Didnt he live in a house owned by Breitbart also too?

      • therblig

        i hope they at least give him the box the refrigerator came in.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Shouldn’t he pull himself up by his bootstraps and make his own box?

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • Nounverb911
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      He rescheduled it to next Wednesday “by popular demand”.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        well, there’s two more words he does not know.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I miss Obama.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Honey, as much as I love these reminders at this point they just make me cry. Kittens never make me cry, because we’ve never had a kitten as President. For what it’s worth, I have several cats who could do the job, but they just saw snow and they understand that DS is north of here, so they’re not willing to run.

      • Red Bird

        DS? Also, I know some cuddly dogs that could be better POTUS than Donnie.

      • ltmcdies

        I love the movie Field of Dreams. Yes… I love tear jerky sports movies
        There’s a line that I think of these days and it could looking at pics of the Obama years
        “Reminders of what America was and could be again”

        I have faith in you guys

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Check out the book that the movie is based on. “Shoeless Joe” by Kinsella. I’ve never been able to read the damn thing without crying. And i HATE baseball.

          • ltmcdies

            read it already. The author WP Kinsilla lived much of his life in my own backyard. (White Rock, Fraser Valley…Calgary)

    • Shibusa
  • hudson

    yo bannon. see these sandals? sales commissions babyeo.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK6QAp5cYKk

  • Anna Rompage

    Donad the Dotard is just like any inept corporate manager when they’re way above their heads. Put out some vague, non-offensive cocktail banter, and then take all the credit if it’s a success, and throw people under the bus if it’s not, without ever providing the leadership that their rank & pay demands of them, and change your tune when the climate doesn’t fit what you’ve said in the past…

    Some folks have said “fake it until you make it”, and that’s the only thing Donad has ever mastered, faking it…. He’s the poor, conservative person’s ideal of what a rich person is, and is a laughing stock among anyone who has any intelligence….

    • OutOfOrbit

      Go on

      • Anna Rompage

        All I can say is that with everything that is out about Trump, and his leadership, I’m giddy with the thought of when Mueller’s other shoe drops…

  • hudson

    here’s to those who wish us well,
    and who don’t can go to hell.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQu_NLRvULM

    c’mon guys what’s the hold up?

    • Nounverb911

      Does Bannon get a royalty from youtube views too, also?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Bwahahahah – Federal judge denies motion to dismiss in case seeking Colin Powels – AO-FUCKING-L emails:

    https://ecf.dcd.uscourts.gov/cgi-bin/show_public_doc?2016cv2145-24

    • Marion in Savannah

      Ermagherd… IANAL, but I did spend years as a legal printer preparing appellate briefs, up to and including Writs of Certiorari into the Supreme Court, so I’m SO loving this.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        omg, and they reference the Clinton case. I love it.

    • hudson

      everyone and their aunty held to the server petard. powells is just collateral damage. insha jeebus.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “During [his time as Sos] Secretary Powell ‘created and received’ work-related email on a personal email account…Under the FRA and accompanying regulations, those emails constitute federal records, which by law should remain in the custody of the federal government…The complaint alelges – without dispute – that agency efforts to obtain the emails have been unsuccessful…

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Wasn’t he complaining about Hillary’s emails last year?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i didn’t hear that – but the problem here is that he closed this email account down, so, “whoopsie, no records of what the secretary of state was emailing about. sorry.”

  • Jennifer R

    The operation is starting. The elf didn’t want any food, so we are splitting three doses of bliss between a dwarf and a troll, all mixed up in some mongolian take out.
    All this elaborate planning and it boils down to “get em”.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Sounds like every D&D campaign I’ve ever done. We plotted and strategized. Then decided “Kick in the door and kill everything on the other side.”

      • Jennifer R

        Well it’s kick the door down and stun the other side so we can make it look like we stole some data.

    • Anna Rompage

      I’d be happy with a 1/2 dose of bliss, just saying!

    • TJ Barke

      I wish I had cool rpg friends.

    • Raan

      “‘Get her.’ That was your whole plan. ‘Get her.’ Very scientific.”

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah, that was the exact joke someone made.
        A bunch of drugs, stun grenades, a nice fake data file that hopefully no one will ever see, and 8K nuyen to an outside decker to do a swap.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    ‘stepped down’ = ‘thrown down the stairs’

    • nanuq1

      Or defenestrated.

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      The first two on the left are Ryan and McTurtle.

      • Beautiful Soup

        Sarah on the far right? This is a hard test!

        • proudgrampa

          Who ARE these people???

          • Courser_Resistance

            Ryan, McConnell, Pence, Graham & Corker. I cheated and looked at the original.

          • Beautiful Soup

            I thought graham looked like graham but then someone guessed Kelly and that made sense too… la nuit tous les rats sont gris or something…

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • janecita

    I didn’t watch the original “Roseanne,” and I’m definitely not watching the reboot. She sounds like a crazy idiot.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5249341/Roseanne-reveals-characters-Donald-Trump-supporter.html

    • Marion in Savannah

      You ain’t rong.

    • Nounverb911

      I thought they killed Dan Connor off and whole thing was a Bobby Ewing dream?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        That was a dream or something.

      • Raan

        Yeah. It turns out the whole series was her writing her memoirs and Dan had been dead all along.

      • janecita

        Who and who?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      She’s a fucking TERF,

      • Kateaux

        She is? I did not know that, but then I already had plenty of reasons to dislike her.

    • ltmcdies

      I’m sure she’ll appeal to Trumper but giving it a hard pass
      And I did see the original and liked some episodes

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Something I said this morning that I’ll repeat, given the current discussion about Assmouth’s level of intelligence and mental fitness: This is the genius who looked up at a solar eclipse without anything to protect his eyes. I rest my fucking case, yo.

  • BigCSouthside

    Steve Bannon powerless and relegated to the fringe is my favorite Steve Bannon.

    • “M”

      As Joy Reid said earlier today – unemployed AND homeless https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/950837612230725633

      • BigCSouthside

        My hatred of Bannon is boundless. This makes my little black heart happy

        • NellCote71

          Second only to Cheney. Although Steve Miller is rounding the curve at an astounding pace.

    • proudgrampa

      I can’t say that I like Steve Bannon, but now I don’t mind him as much..,.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Just because this amuses me. And i love Sam Bee.

    https://youtu.be/6nD1ASa0vSo

  • goCatgo

    Thanks FDF ! Good One ! “Ole 2 Shirts ” !

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    Have another drink, Stevie. You got the time.

  • OrG Unstable Genius

    Has anyone checked to see what the mood at dead bartbrite is?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      “Eat their own” is the phrase of the day.

    • NellCote71

      I don’t want to sully my virginal iPad.

    • therblig

      during my brief sojourn there, i saw a lot of “steve’s a smart guy, he went too far…#MAGA!!”

      someone posted “time to let trump do what he does best” and i posted “drool?”.

      got deleted.

  • Marion in Savannah

    So I’m guessing that this is now our open thread, since it’s now almost 9PM here in Savannah. And even if it isn’t I don’t give a shit, because THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS WHERE THE REPUBLICANS WANT TO TAKE US ALL. Sorry for screaming, but read the article. I’ve given y’all the first graf.

    vA Louisiana teacher who stood up at a school board meeting and asked why the superintendent was getting a raise while educators and support staff were not was ejected from the room by a marshal, handcuffed on the floor and put into a patrol car.

    They really, truly, honestly want to turn the entire rest of the country into serfs to do their bidding. Dear Sweet Babby Jesus On A Surfboard, but I’m so glad I Are A Old.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/09/us/teacher-arrested-louisiana.html?_r=0

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I know I say this in vain, but that damn marshal should be ashamed of himself.

      Yeah, I know the police are shitty, but damn! They ain’t any better off than folks they are arresting. This isn’t about “law and order”, this just state-sponsored goonery.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    So, I’m going to try something and talk to you all instead of a help line. If you all think this inappropriate I’ll delete.

    Simple fact is, I keep having (albeit infrequent) nights like this where I look at my shitty apartment, I’m reminded I’m well behind my peers, and I’m just out-and-out lonely. Like I said, not frequent, but they suck so bad.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Dont compare your life to anyone else, just do what you can do the best you can. You are an awesome person on here and really kind.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        It’s not so easy, though. I graduated with some of the people I knew down south, and I just feel envious. It’s not material things, but being established, having long term relationships, etc.

        It ties in with being lonely.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          IIRC didnt you recently move to try and get a new job after working at a place with shitty management? Being lonely is understandable, hopefully you can find someone who likes you for you and someone you like for who they are. Are there any clubs or professional groups you can join to help meet people?

          (I am not the best with words like some others on here are)

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            I did move two hours away, but I do miss my old job. I had friends, family, and colleagues I all loved around me all the time.

            Up here, it’s a friend and my girlfriend lives in Chicago (I live in Springfield IL, for reference).

            I’m just not used to be alone like this, and I hate it.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          You will make friends, maybe get your household back together, establish a family of your own someday, and then what you’ll really miss is time alone.
          I didn’t have my first kid till my 30’s- I didn’t miss any spontaneous trips to Paris or whatnot. What I ended up missing was time alone to do whatever I wanted.

        • The magic of life is that we always can begin again.

        • Stinky_Hole

          Enjoy life. Do things that give you pleasure.
          You think having somebody around is a cure for loneliness?
          “Hell is other people”.

        • Stinky_Hole

          I’ve had a better thought. It’s been so long since I was young.
          Go find a recording of “Louise” (I suggest Bonnie Raitt), drink some beer and sing and cry and get it out of your system. Tomorrow you’ll feel better. Or the day after. Don’t dwell on it.

        • commatoes

          Regardless of your situation, you are not this scion of the Koch family.
          https://youtu.be/JqhXEm62jZg
          https://youtu.be/VS7cTJjVZjs

          • Rooster Cogburn105

            Flounder from Animal House on Spring Break in Maui

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m probably old enough to be your grandfather. Half my friends are retired, indulging themselves doing whatever the fuck they want, and talking about how maybe they should “downsize”. I’ll work till I’m dead and don’t have two nickels to rub together.

      Oh, wait…I was supposed to say something to make you feel better.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        You suck at this. ;-)

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          You have time and good karma on your side.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          His point is valid- it’s totes easy to beat the shit out of yourself. Don’t do it. Nobody is as good as they’d hoped they’d be or has accomplished as much as they’d planned. The dimwits don’t have the mental capacity to even consider this except in the most basic terms. The overachievers have checked all the right boxes, but have their own list of disappointments to contend with. The more thoughtful people often torment themselves with “coulda, woulda, shoulda” far out of proportion to the actual facts.

          tl;dr we’re all fuckups if we stare into the microscope at our liv