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It is an ironclad law of conservatism that white men are ALWAYS the victims, and James Damore is a law-abiding resident of Whinyass Conservative Snowflake Land. We read his tearjerker complaint this morning, and now we are stupider. Sure Google is being sued for underpaying female employees at every level of the company. But if you think about it, aren’t the real victims here those overpaid white dudes who have to sit in on diversity training where people talk about how cool it would be to have equal numbers of male and female employees? And when they say, “Hey, maybe women get paid less because they are biologically disposed to care more about kids than their careers,” their coworkers call them assholes. And that is bullying and discrimination. So Google should give James Damore one billion Ameros, please, and hire him back to the company where he can educate his coworkers on the beauty of patriarchal families, divinely ordained heterosexual unions, and the sanctity of the gender pay gap.

BOO FUCKING HOO.

Damore was fired for barfing a bunch of pseudo-science arglebargle onto the internal Google server, purporting to prove that workplace diversity is weakness and gender pay disparities arise from biological differences. Here are some fun excerpts.

It’s like the yin and yang. You need a little authoritarianism to balance out your compassion for the weak.

See, girls! You’re not underpaid. You’re just fulfilling your biological destiny.

Maybe if you stopped being so neurotic, you would be able to negotiate properly for your salary! Also, too, “viewpoint diversity is arguable the most important type of diversity.” So don’t you think it’s important to have conservatives around telling everyone that gender IS NOT a social construct?

In highly progressive environments, conservatives are a minority that feels like they need to stay in the closet to avoid open hostility … Alienating conservatives is both non-inclusive and generally bad business because conservatives tend to be higher in conscientiousness, which is required for much of the drudgery and maintenance work characteristic of a mature company.

Look, we could go on with this shit all day long. Damore published his screed, people called him a dick, Google fired him, and now he wants to paint himself as a victim of political discrimination. And in a broader sense, his lawsuit touches on a fundamental issue of our time: What happens when a major political party is taken over by racist wingnuts? If David Duke won the Republican nomination, would Klan bumperstickers at work be protected political speech?

Thankfully, we’re not there yet. And Damore’s suit is just a bunch of whining by an asshole who wants to shoot his mouth off and call it conservatism. Another named plaintiff was fired for suggesting that a co-worker’s trip to Pakistan made him a legitimate terrorism suspect. Google refused to host Alex Jones, which is supposed to be damning evidence of conservatives being censored. It’s all bullshit. California law protects people from being fired for their political affiliations, but it doesn’t shield you from the consequences of being an asshole at work. Damore wasn’t fired because he voted for Trump, or advocated for a flat tax, or had a Build the Wall bumper sticker. The guy got canned for saying that it’s a sciencefact that girls can’t tech. And you’re entitled to your own stupid opinion, but you’re not entitled to insult your coworkers. Particularly not in an at-will employment state.

JFC! THESE CONSERVATIVES WITH THEIR SAFE SPACES!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please buy us smart pillz. We red that lawsuit, and now we r dum.

[Damore v. Google]

$
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  • goonemeritus

    Maybe next time your brain is giving you bad info don’t fill in “send all” in the E-mal address. It’s a trick that has worked for me even at 2 am when I’m really drunk.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      The “save as a draft” option exists for a reason, Jimmy dear.

      • goonemeritus

        IKR, I haven’t continued to fail up for all these years without knowing these basic Outlook functions. They were designed specifically to keep bumbling people like myself from getting fired.

        • Eileen Besse

          Here, too, also too.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the “what was I thinking?” folder

    • Jonny On Maui

      Write all emails in Word first, not in your mailbox. Read it a couple of times. If it’s good, send it out. If it’s really good, keep it in your Hiroshima folder.

      • georgiaburning

        Control-A plus DELETE is very underused in email editing

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Works well for blog posts and comments, also too

      • goonemeritus

        Well since comments aren’t allowed, does it really apply?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          not here- that’s why no one wears pants

  • natoslug

    I look forward to James never finding a job in tech again.

  • JaveyDay
  • If David Duke won the Republican nomination,..

    You shut your goddamned whore mouth, because that could happen. THAT could fucking happen. Oh, sweet Jesus…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Say, you know what else had links to prenatal testosterone?

  • natoslug

    Just because you’re an unfuckable stain on humanity is no reason to lash out at women, Damore.

  • Indiepalin

    At Google, conservatives are given offices in closets and told not to come out

    • Bobathonic

      Am I the only one who read that as “orifices in closets”?

      • Ahh the infamous GoogleGloryHole…

        • MynameisBlarney

          “It’s your turn in the ‘office’ James”.

  • JohnBull

    NOW you see the violence inherent in the system?

    • Jennaratrix

      ‘elp, ‘elp, I’m being repressed!

      • Bobathonic

        Bloody peasant.

  • Scooby

    Actually, I thought the stuff he posted just made guys look like like bigger assholes.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      which is why most of us want him to STFU and go away

  • goonemeritus

    I bet Goggle has thousands of lawyers chained to their desks that they throw raw meat to for just this kind of occasion.

    • It’s in the room right next to the one where they keep their million monkeys and million typewriters…

      • goonemeritus

        Not really fair to the poor monkeys but you got put the lawyers somewhere.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    In highly progressive environments, conservatives are a minority that feels like they need to stay in the closet to avoid open hostility

    Waah! People call me out when I express prejudiced views!!! Also, women are more emotional!!!!! IT’S BIOLOGY!!!!!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a65ff6fb22465fe4de3383495bc8a0bb530469ed043d9ec7c569662abbefc60e.jpg

    • Bobathonic

      So he’s lobbying for a Safe Space?

  • Someone’s going to learn about frivolous lawsuits and the power imbalances between corporations and individuals in the legal system… /whiny Adam Sandler voice.

  • JohnBull

    The problem is insulting people IS your God-given right, and it supersedes the rights of everyone else not being insulted or harassed. That’s what these entitled motherlovers think.

    • Jonny On Maui

      It’s worse than that. They believe they have the god given right to insult and be free of any and all responsibility. If they are insulted in turn, it’s a crime.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We are supposed to quietly, patiently listen to their infantile rants and nod sagely.

    • Also, too, the right to own a gun supersedes my right to not be shot.

  • Hither and Yawn

    Hopefully Google was smart enough to simply terminate him rather than make any statements linking his posts as a cause for termination. Yes, I know we all know this is the reason, however CA law is also very even-handed when it comes to terminating for cause. If they did make statements and he can prove that others posted similar comments without being terminated he may actually win something.

  • Ling Ling

    Milo is hitting on him.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    How many times do they have to be told that no one is censoring their thoughts? We are telling them that whey they express those thoughts in a professional setting they may face the same consequences as the idiot two cubicles down who swears every other word even when customers are within earshot.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I believe this falls under the longstanding legal statute of “Actions Have Consequences, Motherfucker,” et. seq.

  • Indiepalin

    “…the presence of Caucasians and males was mocked with “boos” during company-wide weekly meetings.” Except, they were not booing. They were yelling BRUCE

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      That’s a “pics or it didn’t happen” claim if I’ve ever fucking heard one.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, when you go out of your way to represent all white males as total assholes, this is what happens, douchecanoes.

    • Bigby

      *I* was yelling ‘Boooooo-urns”…

  • WIDTAP

    OT: A little light reading, if your into Russian Pee Hooker Docudramas.

    https://apps.npr.org/documents/document.html?id=4345501-Glenn-Simpson-Testimony-Senate-Judiciary-In

  • ariel_gee_398

    Poor baby. He’s not nearly as special as his parents taught him he was. There are mere women just as smart as him, and even his butthurt isn’t original.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh, this guy’s visage meets new standards of Backpfeifengesicht.

    • SDGeoff3

      Easy for you to say.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      Which comes first, the conservatism or the punchy-face?

  • Jennaratrix

    Aww. Poor guy just wants to TEACH us all stuff!

  • It’s always projection?

    Yeah.

    It’s always projection.

  • Indiepalin

    See also Cheech v. Chong, 1980

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    I think I just broke my face with aggressive, incredulous eye-brow raising while reading this.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Apply wine until the swelling goes down.

  • JohnBull

    Twenty years of hate radio has done this. It’s about time we start regulating talk radio the way we regulate heroin, because the similarities are striking. Sure they both make you feel wonderful when you’re on them, but you soon turn into an asshole when you go off.

    • Bobathonic

      Didn’t seem to be an issue under the Fairness Doctrine.

      • Mr. White

        Exactly. Fox News, Limbaugh, Jones… none of them could exist if the Fairness Doctrine still existed. Another wonderful legacy of the Reagan administration.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I spent a couple of years listening to con radio during my commute, just to see what they were bitching about. Wow, they are scary as fuck. Now the sound of it makes me cringe.

      • JohnBull

        The one and only thing I agree with these con jobs is that the drinking age should be lowered. Otherwise they want Putin’s Russia, minus of course the continued deification of dead poets.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    He’s arguing that the self-entitled sexist douchebro is underrepresented in tech.

    I disagree.

    • goonemeritus

      The tyranny of the douche-majority

    • JMP

      They’re not overrrepresented enough! This douche thinks that men really are naturally superior, so the presence of any women in tech means discrimination against men.

  • Anna Rompage

    Yet another douchy conservative TechBro….

    Gawd damn, these people are almost as insufferable as Ann Coulter, and Laura Ingraham…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All of them would have made fine perimeter guards at Auschwitz.

    • Mr. White

      They’re all of the same mindset. There’s that bizarre, bullying, bravado tone – faux macho – yet at the same time they play the victim card time and time again.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I wonder why he never does profile pics.

    • elviouslyqueer

      *swipes left*

      • MynameisBlarney

        HA!
        Not what I meant, but funnier that what I was thinking.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    From the complaint:
    “and illegal—lengths to encourage hiring managers to take protected categories such as race and/or gender into consideration as determinative hiring factors”

    OOH fun they are going to have to prove this in open court. Enjoy the legal fees plaintiffs.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • La forza del resistino

    Put Google behind you dude and consider the Amazons. They need some sword sharpeners

    • Ling Ling

      Not pay nearly as well.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I worked with a lot of these guys when I did my time in tech.
    1) there were a lot of them
    2) unlike James most of them didn’t broadcast their opinions like it was a sacred screed. It wasn’t about oppression but politeness as we knew that opinions were like assholes and they’re all full of shit. Neither did I, the token Liebruls
    3) we treated the lunchroom like the British Army wardroom in that discussions of Politics and religion a private matter.
    4) WE DID NOT POST TO THE COMPANY SERVERS TO BROADCAST POLITICAL SCREEDS.

    • Ling Ling

      I remember a time when people wore star trek uniforms to work on Fridays. Good times. That was then. This is now. And not unique to the Alphabets. Much social commentary/debate on company forums. Social awareness also a recruiting tool. Most people know enough to self censure and get along. Most people.

    • MynameisBlarney

      But did you use the copier for butt copies?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Also, this image makes me think of the all the gop shenanigans.

    https://i.imgur.com/DNa6VYI.png

  • SDGeoff3

    OT, Senator Feinstein has just released GPS stuff.

    • WIDTAP
      • OrdinaryJoe

        Let the Whiteright screeching begin.

        • SDGeoff3

          I read that as “Whitewing” at first!

          • OrdinaryJoe

            ^ even better

      • SDGeoff3

        Thank you; that’s very kind. I don’t know how to do that.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          just click the downward arrow in the upper right corner

          • SDGeoff3

            I’ll give it a try. Thanks.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            pick a destination when the dialog box to download opens and it’ll save all 312 pages there- you may have to mouse over the top of the page to see the arrow

          • SDGeoff3

            : )

  • Anna Rompage

    Wow, I cannot believe someone voluntarily entered the Martin Shkreli Most Punchable Face in AmeriKKKa Contest, on their own free will…

  • altleftjohn

    This guy’s gonna shit a brick when Oprah becomes president.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    All that prenatal testosterone gave you one hell of a dicknose, dude.

    • jodyleek

      Ya know what they say about guys with big noses, right?
      They use a lot of Kleenex.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Massive boogers?

  • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

    James, honey, calm down. No one can reason with you when you’re being so emotional. You can’t possibly do a good job for any company when your mind is so consumed by your desperate, pathetic need for women to be treated as less-than so you can feel like more than you are. It’s so…the opposite of pragmatic, stable, and respectful.

    • arglebargle

      So you’re saying he’s not a stable genius?

    • JMP

      He’s acting so masculine, letting his emotions take control of him instead of being able to stay rational like women can, so typical of a man, the poor dear just can’t help himself.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Why the long face, James?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        C’mon honey, give us a little smile.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He’s hysterical.

    • Michael Smith

      I think he needs to spend some time out in the country in the fresh air. Modern society tends to overstimulate people like him and give him “nervous fever.”

    • Opalescent Riddles

      It’s just his man bits moving about in his down there area. Nothing a tightly-laced foundational garment can’t fix.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        Lock it up! Lock it up!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • JMP

    Viewpoint diversity is the least important type of diversity, in fact it isn’t even a real type of diversity at all.

    • JohnBull

      In rural Iowa, diversity means two Kias in a sea of battered, rusty Buicks.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Ugh. I forgot what his face looked like. And I didn’t need to be reminded.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    From the complaint: During the March 30, 2017 TGIF meeting (about women in the workforce), either Porat or Naughton pointed out and shamed individual departments at Google in which women comprised less than 50% of the workforce. Alternatively, they applauded and praised departments, such as the sales department, where women comprised more than 50% of the workforce.

    https://discourse-cdn.global.ssl.fastly.net/boingboing/uploads/default/original/3X/9/6/96372d752d82437aed57c7f17c4551155a3f050d.gif

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Too bad the Seasteading Institute isn’t hiring. He’d be perfect for the job.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Whimpering white male butt hurt is so wussy. Very beta of you bro.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    …aaaaand now he’s a Fox contributer probably

    • JohnBull

      Or the next attorney general.

      • Idjit Pai is probably almost toxic enough now that they may have to find a new FCC Head Douche…

  • JMP

    I loved how these morons love to say it’s unfair to call them misogynists because they’re belief that men are naturally superior to women is “scientific” (even though “evolutionary” “psychology” is a discredited pseudoscience) – no, dickbags, that’s insane, the belief that men are superior to women is the very core of misogyny. Learn what words mean.

    • Gigglesnort

      ^This^. They think if you give a lot of reasons you read on the internet, then it’s science and it’s not just being an anti-woman douchebag. I have a techie relative who is the same way. Reads a bunch of this evolutionary psychology crap and then regurgitates it to reinforce all his prejudices.

      Btw. I would really like to see this guy try to mansplain this stuff to someone like Safra Catz (co-CEO of Oracle).

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I love the “scientific” articles they quote:
      We surveyed 100 Fortune 100 executive-level women and men for their top qualities in a mate. The women said men in influential positions were most attractive, and the men said hot young trophy wives were good idea.
      We extrapolated this to be true across humanity because the other billions of regular people were not considered because they are not rich and white and do not matter.

      • JMP

        And of course, we will stupidly presume the differences reflected in these results are somehow innate instead of learned.

  • Maria Sewell

    OT but I see on Twitter that Feinstein has just released the GPS Simpson testimony over Repub objections. There was a ‘walk-in’ whistleblower apparently… Grassley and others must be stroking out.

    • MynameisBlarney

      This pleases me greatly.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      How long until Nunes uses that as proof of leakers?

      • MynameisBlarney

        No coaching dammit!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Improper unmasking of testimony!

      • JaveyDay

        I’m sure he’s leaking right now. Right down his leg into a nice yellow puddle under his desk.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Is Trump under the desk? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

      • Maria Sewell

        Her statement alludes to setting the record straight in view of so much leaking and misinformation.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I like that, even if it’s bullshit. Especially if it’s bullshit. Fire with fire.

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      It’s about time someone did.

    • eyelashviper

      Giggling, chortling, and rubbing my hands together..

      • Maria Sewell

        Altho jealous of your lashes, I’m right there with you!

  • Swampay

    Hey, if at-will employment means you can be fired for needing public assistance to afford your job then being fired for posting something offensive to the company’s google server shouldn’t be any question

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Yep, and I don’t believe in a moment he went to those diversity summits in good faith.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    So they are in favor of companies being able to fire anyone for any reason… unless it affects them.

    They are in favor of companies not serving people… unless it affects them.

    They are in favor of companies doing whatever they want because free market… unless it affects them.

    I think I see the problem here, they are assholes.

    • Jamoche

      Libertarianism: the party of the individual, and they’re the individual.

      • SDGeoff3

        People who define themselves as Libertarians are the same sort as guys who advertise themselves on Craigslist as bisexual.

    • Mr. White

      Pretty much their take on states’ rights as well. It’s fine for banning abortion or gay marriage, bad for legal weed and gun control.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Does Preparation H come in douche form?

    • SDGeoff3

      I’d like to see it as a mouthwash. That would shut them up for a while.

  • JohnBull

    All he needs is a nose job and he can co-host with Victim Extraordinaire Tomi Lahren.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    From the complaint: Damore believed that blatant gender preferences and quotas were inconsistent with US and California discrimination laws.

    Probably because Damore misheard and is not a lawyer or a policy wonk. He is using his acute Dunning-Krueger legal analysis skillz.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    In other douchebro getting it wrong news, Eater has a letter from upper management of Mario Batali’s restaurant talking about changes they’re making to make their restaurants less of a toxic workplace than “just a few” made it before.

    It’s signed by Nancy Silverton, Lidia Bastianich, and her son Joe Bastianich, Mario’s drinking buddy, who used their restaurants as a drunken pussy hunting range when he wasn’t stealing tips to pay for the wine program he sold his own wine to.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      Was there another recipe for cinnamon rolls attached?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        At least Joe’s failing sideways this time, right?

  • JaveyDay
  • Stable Genius Jack

    Conservatives love to remind us all that they have freedom of speech. They do. They have every right to speak. What they don’t have is a right to be heard.

    Distinction with a difference.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and we have the right to mock them for the dopey shit they say- free speech ain’t consequence free speech

      • Stable Genius Jack

        Absolutely. They have the right to be idiots. In fact, I encourage they be up front about their stupidity. It makes it easier to pick them out of a lineup.

        They have a right to be stupid. We have a right to point and laugh.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          A right? Nay, an obligation, a DUTY, to mock and berate them.

          • Stable Genius Jack

            Obligation, duty, hobby.

    • Parakeetist

      Preach

    • They also fail to understand that they don’t have the right to a platform on which to speak. Other than a literal soap-box on the corner.

  • Last Hussar

    Isn’t this the guy who is ASC? Not only Trump who can take the piss out of those with a condition.

  • Putting the douche-bro to the side for a moment:

    Fro WaPo:

    “The British ex-spy who authored a dossier of allegations against then-presidential candidate Donald Trump was told the FBI had someone inside Trump’s network providing agents with information, according to a newly-released transcript of a congressional interview.

    Glenn R. Simpson, founder of research firm Fusion GPS, spoke to investigators with the Senate Judiciary Committee for 10 hours in August. As the partisan fight over Russian interference in the 2016 election has intensified, Simpson has urged that his testimony be released, and a copy of the transcript was made public Tuesday.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/feinstein-releases-testimony-of-glenn-simpson-whose-research-firm-fusion-gps-was-behind-trump-dossier/2018/01/09/15da150a-f562-11e7-beb6-c8d48830c54d_story.html?hpid=hp_no-name_no-name%3Apage%2Fbreaking-news-bar&tidr=a_breakingnews&utm_term=.3dee6337267a

    Feinstein released the Fusion GPS testimony from the Senate Intel commitee.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Someone inside Trump’s campaign was leaking information to the FBI…

      Was it Trump?

      • Sloppy Steve?

        • Oblios_Cap

          Injudicious Jared?

          • SDGeoff3

            Jailbird Jared.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Dumbass Don Jr?

          • SDGeoff3

            Yee-ha!

        • Man, that would be some DEEP cover. He’s been a drunk asshole for DECADES.

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        It would be irresponsible not to speculate

      • SDGeoff3

        John Barron?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        They just complimented Trump and he told them everything.

      • JMP

        With how slickly these guys operate, it was probably an agent who became a regular at a bar where Don Jr. regularly brags about his latest treason to anyone who will listen.

      • Christopher Story

        After “Fire and Fury,” it wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

      • Bland Spicer?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Rinsed Penis?

          Haven’t heard from him in a loooong time

    • ariel_gee_398

      Melania has been a double agent the entire time.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I so wish that to be true.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      DiFi dunked on Grassley, ROFL

      Assume Stonewalling Dead

    • Oh man, I hope that Dampnut finds out that he’s got an FBI mole… OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Blood will flow like water.

  • Jay Hansen

    Looks like a new day in snivel rights.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Snivel Rights

      bwhahahhahahhahahahahahahahhaahhahahhahhahahaha

      • Jay Hansen

        Conservatives make constant use of them.

    • JaveyDay

      Snivel Rights enshrined in the Bill of Slights.

      • JaveyDay

        Which, of course, were derived from the MAGA Farta.

        • TootsStansbury

          This whole noncomments exchange for the win!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        An unrelenting rag-tag of whining assholes being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and share harms shall not be infringed.

        • JaveyDay

          We hold these poots to be self-effluent, that all white men are created equaler, that they are endowed by their Daddy with splurting unassailable Slights, that among these are Women, Colored Folk and any kind of Equality.

      • Jay Hansen

        Three points.

  • TootsStansbury

    Ugh. Again with a doppelganger of the Son in Law or as Mr. S. calls him “Daughter’s friend, dick”. What’s with these younger middle aged, white, suburban douchebros?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think it’s the part where they’re douchebros.

  • Crystalclear12

    I’m guessing no other employers took his side and his mom is threatening to move him out of the basement.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Doesn’t write well enough for Breitbart.

      • Ouch, I know we’re making fun of the guy but… WOW, that was low.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        But he does write well enough to be the new Editor.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Instead of one million Ameros, I will give him a few dozen kicks in the ass and send him on his way.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    This guy may be shocked to learn that Google has some pretty good lawyers.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      And he won’t have the money to pay his.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Just like Trump!

      • Meh, the only way to get into Google is to already have some dough in the family… They don’t just hire folk off the street right into the paid workforce.

        • Arolpin

          Not really true. I know folks who work at Google, they got the job by being good at what they do.

          (I am still working because when a former co-worker asked me in 2000 if I wanted to join his startup where they were creating a new search engine, I replied, “Why would anyone create a new search engine when we already have Alta Vista?” He’s been retired since August 19th, 2005-1 year to the day after their IPO.)

        • Mr. White

          Untrue.

          • I think I was inartful in my phrasing. I don’t mean you have to buy your way in, but you have to have the luxuries of STEM education and (maybe not always, but from what I’ve seen) the ability to take an unpaid internship. They’re picky as fuck.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    A kindred spirit from todays NY Daily News:

    Diagnosing Don Derangement

    Brooklyn: There is a cure for Voicer Ken Ferber and the countless other Daily News readers who commonly suffer from TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome). I strongly suggest you visit one of your local colleges that offer “safe zones.” They went into effect for voters who couldn’t cope with Donald Trump’s surprise win over Crooked Hilary in 2016. The project provides adults with grief counseling, yoga, pet and aromatherapy, coloring books, Play-Doh and hot cocoa with warm blankets. Now say to yourself — “Who is crazy now?”
    Rick Lundberg

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      local colleges that offer “safe zones.”

      Hahaha his head is so far up his ass he can see his partially digested lunch.

    • TootsStansbury

      Safe zones? Is this where this fucker can stand on a sidewalk while I shove a safe out the window above?

    • Lochspring

      I kinda want to go to one of these magic places. I like coloring and play-doh. Shit, now I want this at work. Can I nap there too?

  • Michael Smith

    “conservatives tend to be higher in conscientiousness, which is required for much of the drudgery and maintenance work”

    Lol… I’m not sure conscientiousness would be the word I’d choose.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s some poor stable geniusing in my book.

      • Michael Smith

        If he’s insinuating that a person like Trump is only competent to do drudgery and maintenance work, I think that’s highly unfair to people who do jobs that might fall under those categories.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Have done both drudgery AND maintenance work, I can tell you that the standards we were expected to maintain were rather higher than those of the ‘real’ employees. The kind of boss who doesn’t see typos is also the kind of boss who can spot a patch of dust on the TOP of a machine a hundred yards away.

    • Bemused

      Also conservative as a political ideology is not the same thing as the psychological personality trait of being conservative.

    • theCryptofishist

      Writing this on company time and distributing it through company email is very conscientious.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Delusion? Willful blindness? The irresistible urge to kowtow to any perceived authority?

  • shivaskeeper

    “Damore’s suit is just a bunch of whining by an asshole who wants to shoot his mouth off and call it conservatism.”.

    That encapsulates the vast majority of conservatism right now.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Ok, James? The discrimination you think you’re experiencing? How that works is, I declare (as you keep doing) that the “tendencies” of the group you’re in are the reason I treat you differently or the reason I’m firing you. Say, because you’re a conservative, and conservatives tend to be the baseline support of fascist regimes. So therefore, conservatives tend to be more supportive of close-minded, ignorant, and militarily aggressive groups: hardly what we’d want working for our company.

    Oh, but you’re not like that, and think that what I’m doing is using insultingly thin preconceived stereotypes to paint you as part of a group that you don’t identify with? *That’s* what discrimination is. You thin-skinned moron.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Discrimination is when white men are made to work as hard as minorities and women to advance. It’s in the libertarian dictionary.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Women have higher neuroticism, with higher anxiety and low stress tolerance?

    The craziest bitch I can think of right now who has absolutely zero stress tolerance:

    Donald J. Trump

    • Parakeetist

      Gee, I wonder what makes people anxious. Could it be the presence of assholes?

      • SDGeoff3

        Subpoenas.

        • little miss high and mighty

          restraining orders libelz

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Or maybe just possibly higher anxiety/low stress tolerance* might result from knowing you’re expected to work twice as hard to get half the credit, including pay; that when you get done with your job, you almost certainly have to go home and perform several more hours of unpaid labor, particularly if you have a husband & kids; or that any given day might be the day when some ‘nice guy’ decides he’s entitled to take what he wants from you, whether it’s access to your body or revenge for not granting him same (in which case it doesn’t even have to be *you* that denied it; you could be a convenient stand-in). ETA: and you’re expected to do all that backwards in high heels, while maintaining a model’s body and a pornstar’s sex drive. That could make you a little anxious too.

        *as for low stress, give me a freaking break. I might not be able to bench-press my body weight, but I’ve lived over half a century dealing with all those things and more. And I defy sad little snowflake brah to make it through a *month* of my daily life. Particularly life c.2005 when I was functionally homeless.

        Ima try to stop ranting now..

    • Michael Smith

      “Women have higher neuroticism, with higher anxiety and low stress tolerance and I know because I follow them around all night at bars not getting the hint and they start to get really pissed off and start calling security to have me tossed off the premises. Its really irrational behavior!”

      – Damore, Count 74 in Complaint

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Low stress tolerance?

      I spent 36 hours once pushing almost ten pounds of baby through a 10 cm hole without medication. When Damore posts the video of him forcing a baseball through his dick, we’ll talk.

      • Ellie

        Ah….good image.

    • theCryptofishist

      I was in the past few days looking at a piece of “science” saying that women lived longer because they interacted with other people more. Of course, I can see how he might have discounted that.

  • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

    Go your own way, James.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He can call it our love, but don’t he dare.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Has he been outed on any MRA boards yet? I’m leaning towards Incel, personally.

    • JohnBull

      He can call it another lonely (unemployed) day.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    ♫ When your comments are panned
    And you find yourself canned
    That’s Damore! ♫

    • JaveyDay

      ♫ When you shove a spoon in your eye
      ‘Cause you aimed much too high
      That’s Damore! ♫

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I’d sacrifice the “When you” to fit the melody but, yeah, wow, wish I’d though of that one.

        • JaveyDay

          Good call!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        When your landlord now screams
        ‘Cause you shared your dank memes like a bore, hey!
        ‘scuse-a you, little schmuck,
        you’re just shit out of luck,
        That’s Damore!

      • “M”

        ♪♫
        The programmer lady, qualified POC – theeeeey’re the joker
        (They’re the joker)
        The only ones for top jobs are white dudes all named Bob Meeeeeediocre
        (Mediocre)
        ♪♫

    • Michael Smith

      “When the things you opine
      Sound a lot like a whine
      You’re a douche”

  • Crystalclear12

    I look forward to his biography:
    I Pissed Away Best Job I Ever Had Because Girls have Cooties.

    • SDGeoff3

      Trickle down employment.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      With a foreword by Steve Bannon and an afterword by Anthony Scaramucci.

  • Jgb979

    This is why, NEVER EVER give what looks like Douchery the benefit of the doubt.

    There were far too many willing to say deeply stupid and bigoted things. I knew from the get go this guy had the axe body spray musk of jackassery

  • Bigby

    “Dude, like, unions and labor laws are for cucks, losers, and betches. Negotiate your own awesomeness! If you can’t hack it in an at-will state, maybe you just suuuuuck, duuuuuude.” -dudebro yesterday.

    “Waaahhhhh! I didn’t think at-will applied to ME, just to cucks, losers, and betches! But, but, I’m irreplaceable! There oughta be a law!” -dudebro today

    “Hahahahahaha, fuuuuuuuck yooooooooou!” –me.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      For people who think being a minority is such a walk in the park, they are not handling this well at all.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        One would think they had a different standard for themselves than for other, but how could that be?

  • little miss high and mighty

    “Same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?”
    “It is the same procedure every year, James!”
    Mysogyny / misterRoger’sknee

  • little miss high and mighty

    We must read the thread later
    It is once again that time
    bye lovies!
    We will read the Fusion GPS goodies later
    822 pm fires are cold so is dinner and our fingers
    night all!

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Night!

  • AmusedAmused

    “Alienating conservatives is both non-inclusive and generally bad business because conservatives tend to be higher in conscientiousness”

    Whoa-hohohohohaw!

    The defense attorneys are gonna have a lot of fun exploring Damore conscientiousness and work ethic.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Real talk, maybe some Wonketters who do law stuff can clarify this:

      Can such a claim that “conservatives tend to be higher in conscientiousness” mean jack shit in a court of law???

      Where the fuck could he even get such a claim from?

      • AmusedAmused

        I take it it’s from his BS manifesto. What I would do if I were defending this is have Google IT provide me with his activity logs. Dollars to donuts he wrote at least part of that monster on his office computer during work hours. And I’d go with a fine tooth comb ovet his employment file. Then I would clobber him with those things in the deposition. For hours. Maybe days. I would SOO enjoy this.

        But first, I would send him discovery demands for all the literature he used to conclude that women are genetically inferior.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          So, his reddit transcript or his [#]chan chat logs? Wonder what the date stamps on those look like?

          • AmusedAmused

            I would go through those things LINE. BY. LINE. I would make that f-er cry. Swear to god. I would make him cry.

          • theCryptofishist

            That brightens my day!

        • Jennifer R

          He lied in his application about his educational background. Lying on your application is grounds for immediate termination.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Define “conscientiousness.” The Oxford Dictionary defines it as 1) “Wishing to do one’s work or duty well and thoroughly” and 2) “Relating to a person’s conscience”. The key word in #1 is “wishing” – not “doing”. So no, his argument doesn’t mean jack shit.

        • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

          Conservatives don’t have a conscience. It’s a well known scientific fact.

    • theCryptofishist

      But aren’t women given more of those dreary jobs in which attention to detail is necessary, but not creative thinking? (Not that this twit is much of a thinker.)

    • Courser_Resistance

      No, in my experience, conservatives are annoying fuckheads who never do a goddamn thing, trash the office kitchen assuming that ‘the girls’ will clean up after his ass. They’re always gossiping among themselves and either having coffee, out to lunch or ‘with a client’. Work product? Zero, zip, zilch, null.

    • LesSavvy

      “Higher in conscientiousness” is cuckspeak for “we bow lower to authoritarianism than regular people.”

  • sincarne

    If you want to lose faith in humanity, head on over to the Hacker News discussion of this suit and read the discussion.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I lost faith in humanity when I was 6 and saw a documentary on TV about the Nazi Holocaust. Not long after that I was told I couldn’t be an altar boy because I didn’t have a penis. Nothing can surprise me now.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Not having a penis may have kept you from some pretty bad things, then. So there is that.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Very true, but that didn’t occur to me until I was older. At the time, I was pretty disgusted about it.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        You know, I had that same penis altar experience.

        Shortly afterwards our parish priest and his live-in girlfriend were asked to leave the rectory.

    • Mr. White

      I’ve already lost faith, so no thank you.

    • Red Bird

      They support him?

      • sincarne

        The general consensus is that he’s right; that he never said women aren’t as good as men, just different in ways that make them bad at tech; and the real problem is we leftists are all not clever enough to understand psychological terms.

  • Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Assholes are from Uranus.

  • dshwa

    It’s not having views that got you canned, son. It’s putting those views into action in your email. That’s long established law, the defense attorneys know it, and so does the judge. And so would you if you’d googled it…

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m an oldz so I learned from day one DON’T PUT STUPID SHIT IN AN EMAIL. If you choose to put your stupid personal opinions in an email then you’d better make fucking sure about your recipients. ‘Reply to all’ is always a bad idea

      • axonneuron

        Exactly. You be a pig but don’t act on it.

  • Jennifer R

    He also lied on his application about his educational background. That alone is a firing offence for any job in the country.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Did he? How?

      • Jennifer R

        Said he had a degree from a college and program he didn’t actually have.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          So. Wait.

          This guy wanted to tell the women and people of unwhiteness who *actually qualified for their jobs* why they needed to back off because they were getting a free ride?

          • Skeptical_thinker

            This surprises you, why?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Because his lawyers thought Google cared enough about what people think of them to pay this fool money instead of mowing him down like a blade of dry grass in court?

          • axonneuron

            Lol @ blade of dry grass. Excellent.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            This kind of thing might come up in discovery.

          • Jennifer R

            An unimpressive white cishet male that feels like he should have every comfort and no one else should have any? Tell me more!

        • Red Bird

          I read in the comments section of another blog that he was not a team player at the college he studied for his PhD.

          • Jay Hansen

            tRump University?

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah the end result is he has a terminal master’s degree from a school that doesn’t offer a terminal master’s degree in the field. It only gets given out to people who aren’t cutting muster at the PhD program. He applied to Google saying he had the PhD and the interview process only confirmed he went to school where he said he did and that he had graduated with *a* degree of some kind.

  • theCryptofishist

    I see he’s a stable genius also, too, as I’m sure has been noted.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And he’s, like, smart.

      • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

        Just don’t say that

  • Bitter Scribe

    This guy appeals to “an evolutionary psychology perspective” because what else.

    Has “evolutionary psychiatry” ever been anything but a bunch of bullshit and pseudoscientific woo about how men can’t help but be pigs? Because I’ve seen no evidence of it.

    • Bemused

      I mean, theoretically there would probably be value in looking at what kinds of traits might have been selected for in an evolutionary sense but practically? Nope, all just sexist woo.

  • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

    So is Damore’s middle name ‘Dunning’ or ‘Kruger’?

  • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

    Also, do you suppose his attorney did a credit check before taking the case? Damore might come out of this paying for everyone’s court costs.

  • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

    Google should totally countersue this guy just for being a supremely entitled douchebro. I know they won’t. But they totally should.

    • Iam Reading

      oh I bet they sue him for attorneys fees

  • MizzMazz

    He has Kylo Ren face. I wouldn’t like him anyway, but that…face.

    • chortlingdingo

      Adam Driver is considerably better looking than that bag of dicks.

      • MizzMazz

        hey, I’m not conflating the actor with the character. :)

  • Here’s my sitcom pitch, Wonketteers:

    A reboot of THE ODD COUPLE, starring Lil Jimmy D’Armoire and Milo Yannipoops. Lil Jimmy shrinks 2-3 inches per episode and by season 2 he’s taking his meals in a sock drawer. Milo is the flamboyant one.

    • Add Chuckie (doll) Johnson too, since they habe have frivolous lawsuits going on right now.

      • Hot damn – frisson!

        Chuckie is the tourettes-plagued neighbor who suspects Milo is a god-like poon-hound with the ladies. Meanwhile, Chuckie suspects Little Jimmy is a jew, what with that schnozz, and keeps asking how much baby blood it takes to make a single matzo cracker.

        What percentage of the residuals do you want, JAWs?

  • Mavenmaven

    Another right wing snowflake.

  • Teecha

    Firstly, fucking disqus keeps kicking me out.
    Secondly, I try to avoid commenting on people’s appearance on the grounds that everyone who’s an arsehole has something more substantial to be rude about than their face, but this ugly fucker looks like someone cut his face in half, then shaved a little off the middle and squashed it back together. Maybe they gave the middle bit to Benedict Cumberbatch.

    Thirdly, men are so fucking testerical when they’re manstruating. He could probably do with a shag. Which may be a challenge for him (see point 2 above) He needs to go have a wank and shut the fuck up.

    • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

      Quite punchable mug indeed. With pillow soft votes, of course.

  • Mr. White

    Can we please stop using the word “conservative” and replace it with “asshole?”

    • blaid droog

      Some of us are fags and we are fond of assholes and the role they play in our sexcapades. Why don’t we just stick with equating conservatives with the stuff that comes out of assholes.

      • Rebel Scum Puipui

        Santorum?

    • They weren’t interchangeable already?
      (“There sure was a lot of shit coming outta the ‘conservative’ today!”)

  • Katamount

    It’s literally text at this point that being a conservative means being an asshole to women, minorities and the LGBT. Watching Damore lean so heavily on the trope of “you just hate me because I’m a white guy who disagrees with you” is nothing short of hilarious. As Driftglass would say, this is the Tribe That Rubs Shit In Its Hair walking into a court room. The analogy is that the tribe that rubs shit in its hair is so insular that they’ve become so used to the smell that its only when they walk outside among the regular people does somebody point out that their hair is caked with their own feces and smells terrible.

    This kind of nonsense is what the right-wing traffics in online, but only among themselves because only they actually believe it. Ask a normal person about white persecution and you get a “huh?” We know it only because we make a point of following the talking points. Personally, I think Damore is doing far more damage to the right in the US than he thinks by taking online bullshit into official channels, because he has now taken it upon himself personally to ask the “normies” to sit in judgement of the kind of self-affirming gobbledygook passed around right-wing Twitter, Reddit and 4chan.

    We saw what happened when that Russian dentist lady pulled the same crap with Obama’s birth certificate, didn’t we? 15 minutes of infamy, a couple crackpot interviews, then people kinda half remember you as that dentist lady with the funny accent going around saying “Berf certificate!”

    • Red Bird

      Sure. But she kept the narrative going.

      • Katamount

        In the press, sure, but the mistake they made was actually filing lawsuits and presenting their forged documents as exhibits. I’m convinced that the birther movement would have been a larger component of Republican discourse if they hadn’t gotten the firm smack-down by the court system over and over again. Because it just reinforced that the judicial branch considered it a waste of time.

        The narrative would have continued regardless in the swamp-waters of the internet. But this kept it from attaining the mainstream status that other nonsensical talking points did.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Upvoted for Driftglass shoutout !

  • kaydenpat

    Can’t Google fire whoever they want as long as it’s not for a discriminatory reason? They fired Damore because he’s a douche. Had nothing to do with his race, gender, political leanings, etc. He should slink away and respect a legitimate business decision.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      He’s probably got more standing for seeking protection as a literal anachronistic feminine hygiene product (a douche) than for his gross stinky political opinions.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Backpfiefengeischt.

  • Red Bird

    Maybe he needs a support puppy.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      I would not let a puppy within 30 feet of that dude.

      • Jay Hansen

        Precisely.

      • Jimh

        Puppies seem to favor playing and cuddling while sociopathic douchebags favor kicking and euthanizing.

  • Jay Hansen

    This happens when the flowsnakes become snowflakes.

  • Mike Minden

    At the risk of being small, I must say this guy has a face that just begs to be slapped with restraining orders.

    • Don’t. That would just earn you a scolding from Catherine Deneuve and her 100-woman strong band of French idiots.

    • phoenix00

      I’ll slap him With Votes.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Should “conservative white men” be a protected class?

    • Maybe

      Only when we have come really close to making them extinct.

      We could keep a few around for zoos.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        But watch out, they breed like crazy, and don’t understand consent.

        • I doubt they and their Dead or Alive love pillows were planning a family anytime soon.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Bwahahaha.

        • Maybe

          The finest specimens are always male, so I don’t think we need to worry about their reproducing.

          I suspect they’d try.

  • Geez, Google do you not understand that you’re oppressing someone’s right to create a hostile work environment?!

  • blaid droog

    First time I ever saw this cretins face. I had pictured a lard ass middle-class pasty faced blake farenthold. Just like blake, he mostly looks like a piece o shit.

  • “Good thing we don’t rely on ‘identity politics’ like those uppity womenfolks and coloreds do….”

  • Marceline

    This desperately precious dildo decided to write a whole manifesto about how his employer sucks (which he probably did on company time) then distributed it at work and somehow expected to keep his job. Then when he gets fired for cause he sues.

    Watch whiteness work.

    • phoenix00

      “FRAGRANT”. Well played.

  • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

    And here I thought we’d seen the last of Incel P. Buttplugface.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    there’s lots to unpack there – but i’m legaled out for the day, so let’s start with

    1) Was this letter in ANYWAY related to his job function, or just the equivalent of preaching about the lord jesus christ to a Jewish co-worker?
    2) There are plenty of unsupported assumptions, but y’all knew that
    3) Just skimming this crap, it looks to be internally inconsistent, which, “duh”.

  • Maybe

    This jerk was fired for his behavior, which was disruptive and disrespectful to a large number of fellow workers. That is grounds for firing.

    He was not fired for his beliefs, ugly and unreasonable as they are.

  • thixotropic jerk

    Daless of Damore Dabetter!

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Any Silicon Valley engineer who thinks change is bad has demonstrated their incompetence. Change is an essential nature of Silicon Valley. Without change, there would be no Google for him to rail against, and we would all be typing JCL onto punch cards to get our Wonkette snark, except, there would be no Wonkette snark.

  • SheltonTodd

    When Damore published his piece of covfefe, I considered his premise:
    All women are genetically inferior.
    At that point, I stopped reading. Damore’s premise is the start of a bogus syllogism. Do not read any further. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
    This isn’t any issue of free speech. This isn’t an issue of Google not respecting his intellectual rights. My eyes and ears went into lock down mode.
    Some of us have had the good fortune to have had teachers who have told us (in more polite terms), “Get this shit out of here. Get it right or fail.” Damore seems not to have had that experience.
    And who says the liberal arts have no value?

  • arundel

    Damn, he ugly.

  • Pre-existing Womyn

    The first programmers were women, until the 80s came around and computer ads were only towards men. Hence, men pushed women out of programming and created lies to keep them out, as if only the male mind can comprehend math. It’s all crap which has been disproven over and over again. I’d love to meet him in a dark alley and help him get that nose job he so desperately needs.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Early on, programming was seen as nothing more than enhanced typing, suitable for limited ladybrainz, and hardware was where it was at for all the manly man-men.

      Now, of course, if you mention that little factoid, you’re “delusional” and it’s “just not true” because Bill Gates.

  • Newzheimer

    This tool will lose. As stated, California is an at-will state and one may be fired for any reason at all, as long as you’re not fired because of your status as a member of a protected class.

    And, yes, race and gender are considered to be a consideration for protection, but white and male? Not so much. Being a whiny, entitled dick? Even less so.

    • You mean Conservative douchbag isn’t a “protected class”? Well color me shocked!

  • AngryTeuton

    Not only is he ignorant as fuck he has an asshole for a mouth, and that fucking nose. He clearly comes from the very shallowest end of the gene pool.

  • phoenix00

    Back to mommy’s basement you go now!

  • By the way the Google workforce is 70% male and 61% white (the percentage ratio gets even higher as you move up to higher positions) So we can see how white guys are struggling and suffering at the company 🙄

  • Bryan Beecroft

    Why the long face James?

  • Saaaayyyy you know who ELSE suggested compassion for the weak?

    https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/QCAAAOxyGqZSYegp/s-l300.jpg

    Just weird that we are gonna end up with football AND Jebus in the divorce

  • alpacapunchbowl
  • 73angelD

    James Damore has resting douche face.

  • Zyxomma

    Conservatives are higher in conscientiousness? CONSCIENTIOUSNESS? Cognitive dissonance much, Damore you don’t know?

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