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GOOD BOY!

Donald Trump got to go to the FOOOOOBAWWWWWWWW game Monday night! It was the college football championship game and it was a big deal down here in the South, because it was the Georgia Bulldogs and the Alabama Crimson Tide, and Alabama won, ROLL TIDE ROLL! (Actually, to be honest, yr Wonkette lives in Memphis and we do not give two squirrelly fucks about either of these teams, we are just still saying ROLL TIDE ROLL because of what Alabama did in its recent election between an accused pedophile and a regular human person.)

By all accounts, the game was just really good FOOOOOBAWWWWWWWW, and we are sorry we missed it.

We did not miss Donald Trump standing for the national anthem at the game, though, like a true American patriot. You see, as Trump has informed us, you are supposed to stand with your hand on your heart during the national anthem, and if you don’t do that, you are obviously a black person. Wait, that’s not it. Regardless, the president knows black football players who don’t stand for the anthem are a “son of a bitch” who should be YOU’RE FIRED from football, even though they are not actually protesting the anthem itself, but trying to draw attention to police brutality and racial inequality, oh fuck it, if you are reading Wonkette, you already know why they’re protesting.

The point is the president of the United States is a white supremacist.

But he’s a STANDING WHITE SUPREMACIST, OK? You see his picture up there! Look, here it is again, as tweeted by Donald Trump Jr., who is just crying salty tears out of his misshapen face begging for a retweet from Daddy, one that will probably never ever come:

Know what else Junior probably doesn’t get from Daddy, besides retweets? Hugs :(

The weird thing about Trump standing for the national anthem is that he appeared (?) to be trying (?) to sing along (?) with the anthem, but SOME ARE SAYING it looks like he doesn’t know the words. We may have an unpopular opinion on this, but to our eyes, he just didn’t sing along to every word. MAYBE the parts where he wasn’t singing, he was forgetting the words entirely? Or MAYBE he was zoning out and thinking about pussy? Or — and this is Wonkette being charitable because we don’t want to just RawStory the president when he does a thousand legitimate things a day worthy of scorn and derision — it’s possible he was just doing that thing lots of people do, where they half-assedly mouth along with like nine words of the anthem, because come on, it is time for the football game.

Then again, if Trump actually cared about the national anthem and wasn’t just using black players’ anthem protests to rile up his white supremacist supporters, HE WOULD SING ALONG TO EVERY WORD WITH TEARS STREAMING DOWN HIS FACE AND MESSING UP HIS ORANGE MAKE-UP.

We’re going to file this one under “unclear” and say, WE REPORT, YOU DECIDE:

Whatever happened there, it was not at all like that time Trump was at Arlington National Cemetery and did a weird swaying back and forth thing while he BIGLY MOUTHED twenty percent of the words of the anthem. Or maybe it IS the same and he just didn’t dance this time?

Regardless of what happened at the championship game, we can all agree with Alabama running back Bo Scarbrough, who shared his thoughts about the president as the team was walking from the locker room. His thoughts are, “FUCK TRUMP!”

Ahhhhh, America! You are still alive and well.

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  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    ugh, that Jr tweet – maybe point out the military folks on his left and right asshole?

    • kareemachan

      My take is that junior had no idea what actually happened and just blathered it cuz… that’s what idiots do.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Somebody was booing dad…

  • armed_bears

    Today, we are all Bo Scarbrough.

    Please send my Nike endorsement money directly to me, however.

  • Weird Fishes

    ouch, hugs.

    His singing went like this: Fish gulp fish gulp, lizard tongue, fish gulp

  • Jenny

    No, he was totally swaying like a kid singing “I’ll Fly Away” in church.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    What the player from Alabama said.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    New gotcha question: “donald, can you recite the first verse to the National Anthem? Just asking”….

    • CafeenMan

      All of them, Katie.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I forgot the “rockets’ red glare” part just now when I tested myself. On the other hand, I’m not the President of the United States who has recently been an asshole about protests during the national anthem. So there’s that.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Which team was Trump playing for?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Team Dementia.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        iswydt

      • Querolous

        Catatonic State.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      That did it, I am cancelling my subscription to ESPN-16. I’ll miss the minnow racing championships and montages of old gladiator movies, but it is worth it not to be denied my First Amendment rights to watch the president stick it to the Blacks and “Happy Holiday”ers on a sportz channel.

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        I’m still keeping The OCHO.

        • janecita

          I’m keeping the NUEVE and the DIEZ.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        There’s minnow racing!? Why don’t I know about the minnow racing?!

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          You have to pay an additional $90 a month for the package. It includes the Ironing, River Depth, Evaporation, and Bovine Life channels.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        But, I like gladiator movies.

  • kareemachan

    The interesting thing I read somewhere is that the cameras didn’t show him after that, almost as if he was there for the photo-op and then left to find the nearest McD’s.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Ah. The Pence Move.

    • major_asshole

      Does anyone have photographic proof he stayed for the whole game?

      I’ll wait.

  • Scooby

    Oh say can you see a stable genius in me.

  • lucidamente

    It’s always time for this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIwrgAnx6Q8

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Enjoyable

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Here, all this time, I thought they were singing “Matzo balls”….

  • My country elected you to run it, Donnie of the Wee Hands. I don’t respect it.

  • fawkedifiknow

    The first thing I read this morning is this tweet by the treasonous patriot son of an asshole, commanding that we wear our fee-fees about our country on our sleeves and it puts me in a stabby/punchy mood for the whole fucking day. Thanks, Wonkette.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      he’s still distracted by the sparklies in teh free sombrero he got on his birthday

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Protip: don’t go to Twitter.

  • freakishlypersistent

    He can “stand for the anthem” all he wants, he needs to stand for the majority of the American People, who are not his fucking base.

  • Nounverb911
    • UnsaltedSinner
      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i was told when attending latino catholic masses (for quincenera in this case), which can be in spanish, latin, and/or english, best method is to just do “watermelon-watermelon-watermelon” – works suprisingly well.

  • Juan de Fuca

    It’s funny how the people who talk the loudest about something often don’t know what they’re talking about. I don’t know all the words to the song either, but if I was going to pontificate endlessly about showing respect for the anthem, I’d at least learn the fucking words to the song.

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, especially before going on National TV to sing it.

  • Me not sure

    Dear MSNBC,
    Replace Joe Scarborough with Bo.
    Love,
    Me

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    To be fair, I really don’t know the dance steps to our national anthem either.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      can’t polka?….

      • DrBigHead

        Not without a lot of beer.

    • UnsaltedSinner
    • Proud Liberal

      He’s like a fidgety child. Couldn’t stand still if he had to.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Fast food withdrawal symptoms?

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Withdrawal from something, allegedly…

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            they’re supposedly taking a urine sample at the upcoming physical, makes me think of this:

            https://youtu.be/RRKumCnogVA

          • Oblios_Cap

            He won’t be able to snort coke this week. We probably won’t see much of him.

    • CafeenMan

      Like the meaning of the bible, the dance steps are what anyone wants them to be.

    • It’s the Hokey Pokey, silly.

      • You put your right wing in.
        We vote your right wing out.
        “There’s a lot of voter fraud,”
        The right wing pundits shout.
        You get some bots from Russia
        For a Twitter rout,
        That’s what it’s all about.

        • mailman27

          Two more B-words– Brill Building!

    • Me not sure

      “You put your fat ass in,
      You take you fat ass out,
      You put your fat ass in,
      And you shake it all about.”

      Even a dotard can do it.

  • Nounverb911
    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘It’s not that hard,’ As Melania said to Donnie.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Ah, the old “that’s what she said”. The classics never grow stale.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “And that folks is how it’s done. It’s not that hard.”

      That is such a multi-faceted way to describe this presidency….could be taken so many different ways.

    • cmd resistor

      I can’t even, Jr.
      Who even had the idea to let him out there?

  • TundraGrifter

    Mr. Trump probably knows the final two words of our national anthem – “Play Ball!”

  • goonemeritus

    Fair enough I always sing the words to This land is your land, this land is my land.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Canadian!

      • goonemeritus

        Maybe soon, we’ll see how the midterms go.

    • little miss high and mighty

      The forbidden verses as well?
      With sincerity?
      Giving up your worldly lucre and investments and status owns?
      Woody just hated us Yuppie-types
      hated us bad!

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        But those lyrics kill fascists.

        • little miss high and mighty

          As Pete Seeger’s banjo always said:
          “This machine surrounds hate and forces it to surrender”.

          OK a nonsnark noncomment but just to turn the other cheek for Pete’s old (pacifist) banjo.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Raise every voice and sing!

    • Cock Blockula

      The Republican version of that song goes:

      This land is my land,
      This land is my land,
      This land is my land,
      This land is my land,
      This land was made for me and just me

      • Werewolf

        This land ain’t your land,
        This land is my land,
        I got a shotgun,
        And you ain’t got one,
        If you don’t get off
        I’ll blow your head off,
        This land was only made for me.

        • Cock Blockula

          That’s the second verse… the Bundy gang’s favorite!

  • Kudos to the LGBTQ community for their persistance and strength in standing up to the trump administrations bigotry and hateful screed. Trump himself waved the white flag in song last night, “And our fags are still here”.

    • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

      *raises a clenched hoof*

  • Nounverb911

    Russian TV said he was singing Russian anthem….

    https://twitter.com/JuliaDavisNews/status/950717779820335105

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Even the Russians are mocking you Donnie. They don’t need you any more.

  • Christian O’Bummer

    Frank Drebin/Enrico Polattzo 2020!

  • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

    “#nodrama”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9508d840fe265cfd3d052b498e60831cfa8498c78d8548ea4bcec4bfea1766e6.gif

    Junior, your dad is the fucking KING of drama queens!

  • schmannity

    This is how it’s done, Donny.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_lCmBvYMRs

    • TundraGrifter

      Personally, I’ll go with Marvin Gaye before the NBA All Star Game.

      • mailman27

        Every time.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      It says a lot about America that our national anthem requires a singer of Whitney Houston’s ability to sing properly, and that a black woman (and possibly closeted lesbian) gave us one of its definitive performances.

    • chortlingdingo

      Man, Whitney really was something else. Her version is the only one that’s ever made me feel emotional.

    • Amazing Professional Lunatic

      Lady Gaga also did a respectable job:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv2f5r5O0-c

  • TundraGrifter

    I’m thinking about a new Wonkette screen name: “AlGoreRhythm.” Too late?

    • Proud Liberal

      It’s great! Use it!

      • TundraGrifter

        I’ve been talked out of it so it’s now, officially, up for grabs. Along, to the best of my knowledge, with “Luggage Lifter” and “Pacific Rimmer.”

    • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

      DOO EET.

    • TJ Barke

      But TundraGrifter is so classic…

      • TundraGrifter

        You are too kind. I think I’ll remain what I am – Old School.

    • Doug Langley
      • little miss high and mighty

        needz moar bongwater

  • Proud Liberal
    • little miss high and mighty

      Using my boyfriend’s photograph without his permission again like a common “Crooks and Liars”
      pffft. wait til his pulitzer come rollin’ in you’ll eat those pixels, sure enough!

  • Joe Beese
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “But I couldn’t get there…”.

    • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

      They had to burn that flag.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        it died from flag syphilis.

        • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

          “Please, donate today to help find a cure. The flag you save could be your own.”

      • Pilotshark

        after it was moved on, by him, it burned itself.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      And when you’re a star, they let you do it. They let you do anything…grab em by the tassles.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The President of the fucking United States standing for the national anthem is fodder for a Fox News Alert? I thought they saved those kind of things for Obama wearing a tan suit or Hillary not leaving a big enough tip.

    • freakishlypersistent

      MUSTARD, MUSTARD ON A HAMBURGER, I MEAN WHO DOES THAT!!111?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        well, techinically dijon mustard (i love mustard on things)

        • Doug Langley

          Brother sent me a Hickory Farms gift for Christmas. Sausage, cheese, caramel corn and a small jar of semi-spicy mustard. Delish.

        • cmd resistor

          Yeah, I think the regular yellow stuff is ok because AMERICAN.

        • calliecallie

          NYT cooking had a recipe for Dijon and Cognac beef stew that I am dying to try. Maybe tomorrow.

          https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1017085-dijon-and-cognac-beef-stew

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            sounds good!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Me ,for one. Ketchup, too. And Mayo.

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        well, I don’t think they would have criticized Obama for using good old American mustard instead of hoity toity dijon.
        ….oh, wait a minute– yes, they would have.

      • Werewolf

        Me.

  • Nounverb911
  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    That whole goddamn family is nothing more than white trash with money…

    With apologies to white trash, who, incidentally, probably know the words to that silly song.

    • little miss high and mighty

      damn straight we do!

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        EL OH EL!1l!1!

  • ManchuCandidate

    “Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun to the land of the free and the home of the Braves.”
    -DJT’s version

    • schmannity

      My anthem has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R.
      My anthem has a second name, it’s M-E-Y-E-R . .

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, well done.

      • therblig

        donald trump, donald trump
        donald trump, donald trump
        donald trump trump trump trump
        donald trump trump trump trump trump
        etc

    • GoutMachine

      And a partridge in a pear tree.

  • Proud Liberal
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Our anthem has 26 verses but luckily we only have to learn the first and the 6th.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Well, you’ve had more time to work on it.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Spain’s gots no lyric
        just lalala dee lala
        As Placido D., he’s bummed

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Yeah we always sing it along when our teams play against each other.

      • armed_bears

        Yeah, but That ne’er at any hour
        Ill of the King I spake.
        seems to kinda hedge you in a bit…

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Liebeetus…

    • cmd resistor

      Although actually people seem to tend to remember words to songs they knew in their youths.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    In the clip from Arlington, he keeps patting himself on the chest…”look at me, look at me daddy, I’m a GOOD boy!”

  • TJ Barke
  • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn
  • rocktonsam

    I know all the great words, just not those in this great anthem ….

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    “Just show some respect for the country,” says DT Jr. Like not allowing the goddamned Russians to throw the election?

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      Failson Don didn’t show much respect for America when he comitted treason in his father’s over compensating giant penis building.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m beginning to think these fools are unpatriotic…

  • Bill D. Burger
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Hey Dimwit Jr.: Did you ever think, during your college years, about NOT getting monkey-walking drunk every night, passing out and pissing in your roommate’s bed? It’s not that hard.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Hey, I was a… oh wait… you are talking about Don Jr..

  • SomeBigRedDog

    It looks to me like maybe his dentures were threatening to fall out of his face again.

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie
  • Bill D. Burger

    Projected on the logo at the entrance to the stadium last night:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTGudH7VMAAq_x8.jpg

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      We here in the ATL are fiercely proud of that one.

  • Cosmic Owl 2

    The moron completed his political stunt, to show just how stabled his genius truly is.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nockular cavity

    we do not give two squirrelly fucks about either of these teams, we are just still saying ROLL TIDE ROLL

    Fakakta South libel!

  • dslindc

    I, also too, agree with the sportsball player! Fuck Trump!

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Trump then retired to a luxury box where watched FOX news showing Trump at the game.

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      Trump accomplished his dumb fuck stunt, and left soon after.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Mike Pence gave him some Chicken McNuggets for being a good boy.

      • freakishlypersistent

        Dence did the same fucking thing, remember? Way back in the fall, when the country was a little less fucked?

        • Cosmic Owl 2

          Yup.

          By the time Kendrick Lamar was performing outside, the moron Trump took a powder.

          • Yellerduck

            Then he took a little more powder, huffed some ether, and tweeted like a madman!

        • cmd resistor

          Pence showed up at an NFL game so he could walk out when player(s) took a knee.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      But left before the game was over.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        It was half time. He thought it WAS over.

        • cmd resistor

          He figured he wouldn’t be able to score any more rousing standing ovations.

          • Oblios_Cap

            I don’t think he scored any in the first place.

          • cmd resistor

            No, but he thinks he did.

      • arglebargle

        Like a common Palin.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The seasonal cheer continues into the New Year.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTG4SSQU0AAyxwK.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
    • The Wanderer

      To be fair, To Anacreon in Heaven is supposed to sung while drunk.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        And so, the pre-game tailgate party was born.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Upfists for knowing this!

        • The Wanderer

          (bows)

      • Querolous

        “And, besides I’ll instruct you, like me, to intwine
        “The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus’s Vine.”

  • TJ Barke

    I’m so sick of this fucking moron and his traitorous party.

    • You misspelled ‘snakes’ and ‘plane’.

    • Proud Liberal

      I second that emotion.

  • The Wanderer

    I am pleased that the “Fuck Trump!” player mouth thing was true. I am less pleased that the team didn’t chant it at his flabby ass as he stalked off the field.

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      These are college guys, and there could well be a punishment for such things.

      Yes, college football is yet another fucked up American diversion.

      • The Wanderer

        Ah, but they are seniors, some of whom already graduated (so-called ‘fifth year seniors’). And they are currently in good odor with the football-worshipping masses down in Alabammy.

        • Cosmic Owl 2

          Alabama’s second QB is a freshman.

          • The Wanderer

            True.

    • pstokk

      Apparently he’s claiming it was “Fuck Georgia”?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      “You guys, we’re not taking back the corn subsidies, even though we both know ethanol is a big zero, and don’t let me get started on tobacco”…

    • Proud Liberal

      Did he write this? Did he really write this?????

    • cmd resistor

      Every time I see this guy pretending to be president and patriotic I think how much his very existence disrespects the office.

      • therblig

        his existence disrespects hominids

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          It disrespects eukaryotes.

  • When did sportsball become intrinsically linked to maudlin displays of patriotism? Did it start with 9/11?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      never forget, our miilitary PAYS to do performances at sportsball games as a recruiting tool.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Your tax dollars being wasted!

      • SydneyP

        National Guard/Army sponsorship of Nascar, which in 2012 exceeded $72 million – appealed to the wrong demographic. So that year’s typical DoD debacle yielded a grand total of twenty-four recruits.

    • Proud Liberal

      It started with DT.

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      Kinda.

      Though the roots were laid prior to the Gulf war, when Whitney Houston belted out a rousing rendition.

    • little miss high and mighty

      776 bc Olympia

    • Oblios_Cap

      I noticed the players didn’t come out until after the anthem. Probably didn’t any embarrassing kneeling in front of Fatass.

      • cmd resistor

        Apparently that’s standard (to not come out till the anthem if over) in college football, as opposed to NFL. Maybe he didn’t know that and hoped one would take a knee so he could berate the guy.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          if they had kneeled – I fear Trump would have reprised his role from his WWE days and the whole thing would have turned into a battle royale…

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      No, that just ramped it up, because Bush, Jr. had a long association with college and professional ball, having been both a cheerleader and part owner of a baseball franchise…

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      It’s kinda been around since WWII (that was when it became customary to sing the anthem before every game). But until around 1980 it was expected that the song would be performed as written with no deviations in either lyrics or music. When Jose Feliciano performed the Anthem in Detroit prior to Game 5 of the 1968 World Series with a “Latin jazz” flair, both the Detroit Free Press and local stations were flooded with protests that he was disrespecting the song.

  • thewalkindude

    This kid will be Trtump’s next Twitter target-
    After just 12 weeks of golf, 7-year-old Freddy Sage dropped in a hole-in-one on the par-3 off the tee on the sixth hole at Knebworth Golf Course in Hertfordshire, England. The hole had been shortened for young players and measured a distance of 100 yards.

  • Mike Minden
    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I still sing these words when I hear that song.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Hey, Donnie? If you’re confused about the words ask a Canadian. Most of US know your anthem, because hockey, eh?

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      O’ Canada!

      Your flag? Thing o beauty.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        Reminds me of pancakes.

    • I know all the words to the Canadian national anthem, which is “Fantasy” by Aldo Nova.

      • little miss high and mighty

        we stand on gods for thee…

        • Cosmic Owl 2

          Glorious and, and, and! Free!

          Maple syrup for all my comrades!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Proud Liberal

      Inconceivable.

    • nightmoth

      He looks so simian. What did Jane Goodall name him?

      • TJ Barke

        “Fucking Moron”

      • altleftjohn

        Fredo.

        • weejee

          Putin is on line two, wants to take him fishing.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Hail Mary.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Boy.

  • freakishlypersistent

    Aaaaaaaand he manged to stomp on, and subsequently ruin the National Championship.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      he does that to most anything that comes into his orbit.

  • nightmoth

    Oh, the Dawgs lost? Maybe I’ll go into Athens today to touch the sorrow that will no doubt coat the entire town like vaseline. I may even yell “Go Dawgs” at a frat boy.

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      Dawgs could have won, especially when Tide removed their starting QB for a freshman QB.

      But that kid proved he could play.

      • nightmoth

        Didn’t watch. Don’t care. It was fun when I first moved to Athens, but years of drunken louts vomiting in the parking lots and leaving trash all over campus changes one’s impression of football fans.

        • Cosmic Owl 2

          I’m hardly a college football fan, in spite of living in so called ‘college football country’.

          I don’t care much, especially for the SEC, which chews up young black players and spits most out when they get injured.

          • nightmoth

            That’s the other thing I don’t like about football. I’m happy for the young men who make it into the big time, but I think that’s only something like 1%. Jesse Jackson rightly called college football “the new plantation system.” UGA had an ongoing problem with failure to give their black players, most of whom came from inadequate public schools, a college education. After they fired Jan Kemp and she won her lawsuit against them, they improved. There are now mandatory remedial education classes for athletes who need them. One still hears stories, however, about “pressure to pass” applied to professors in intro classes.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    He went to military school. He knew the words then.

    It doesn’t look a whole lot like he does now.

    • The pain of his bone spurs drove the words from his brain.

    • Mike Minden

      In military school he just paid somebody else to sing it for him.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Military school”; aka prep school for sneaky little rich fucks who’s parents can neither control them nor have any desire to be around them. Lots of medals and ostentatious uniforms. Military training? Not so much.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, yeah, it was definitely rich kid reform school, but they did have a retired drill sergeant making them play boot camp, so I’m guessing they did color guard a lot.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Probably not so much about “willing to give your life for your country”, I’m guessing.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Certainly not Captain Bonespur (captain of our hearts, and captain of the baseball team).

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    “I’m not a genius. But the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”
    Albert Einstein

    “Only a very foolish man calls himself a genius.”
    Stephen Hawking

    “I’m a VERY Stable Genius”
    Donald Trump

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8cdca73f05e9b879e8d6cd596b4a6f0ce170c746dc631a60e9635ed74237c7cd.jpg

    • janecita

      Dear Lord, what in the unholy fuck is that???? I’m definitely going to the gym today!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Just get one of those ancestry tests. If you’re not white, you don’t have that much to worry about.

        • janecita

          I did already, I’m 85% white, 8% Native American, 5% black, the rest Middle Eastern.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Could be trouble then. Let’s hope the other 15% holds up. But culturally, you should be pretty safe.

          • janecita

            Solavaya!!! My white part is mostly French and Spanish, I’m OK;-)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Whew! What you don’t want to hear is “Appalachia”.

      • Better work on your sprints, in case you have to outrun that thing.

        • janecita

          I’m scared:-(

    • Mike Minden

      Bad batch of shine, or did she have a stroke?

    • William

      …and also cuz he is stablier and geniuser than Whitney. This I can tell you.

  • Chyron HR

    “It’s not hard. Just display fealty to the country where it is effectively legal for you to be summarily executed in the street followed by a show trial in which you’re found guilty of your own murder.”

    • TJ Barke

      Ever pose like a gangster while a teenager? Yup, you deserved to get shot to death by a neighborhood watch freak with a Charles Bronson fetish.

  • davecity

    “I don’t remember this part about Jose in the original German version”

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Fox News bulletin about tRump standing- What did they expect him to do? Lie down on the field?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Ascend bodily into heaven, obviously.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        That would be me and mr. Mike Pences prayer..

  • Daniel Hooper

    Can somebody check on the guy who had to type on the teleprompter at Fox News? I’m worried that a guy who had to type, “President Able To Stand On Own Two Feet All By Himself Like A Real Big Boy”(reading slightly into it) might not be in a good place mentally. Physically, we KNOW he’s in a bad place; Fox News and all. Still, maybe someone should do a welfare check or have him on suicide watch.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      heh, these days the script written in the “news”room is automatically dumped into the teleprompter. (or was 10 years ago when I worked).

      Same with the cgs.

      • Yellerduck

        I remember back in the days when it wasn’t, watching an interview on a muted gym TV. They were interviewing a person in Alabama whose trailer park had been hit by a tornado. The poor guy/gal who was trying to keep up with closed caption finally gave up and just put “”. I laughed out loud. I could have interpreted for them!

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          rofl – that’s funny as hell.

          And not be pedantic (but I will be) that’s closed captioning. Our system dumped the script into that as well, but there’s also live closed captioning like you see with live sports or news.

    • Beaufighter

      “Large Adult Son POTUS Does Thing”

  • ArgieBargie

    Yes, Don Jr, colluding with Russia is OK as long as you put a stick up your ass everything the National Anthem comes up.

    Fuck, these people are dense.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      “Lazy Patriotism” – hang a flag, sing the Anthem, slap a magnetic ribbon on your car.
      Actual patriotism? Too hard.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        …Leave the flag up, 24/7/365, even in inclement weather, regardless of what the rules for flag decorum say.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Let it fly from the back of your pick-em-up truck until it is tattered and torn…

  • BigCSouthside

    He did this at a NCAA game, because college players are basically property of the university, and he knew they would not kneel. He is a coward and knew this would be a safe space.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Of course it is, it was a stunt, he left soon after. it’s all they know. It’s like the stupid flag pins. They loathe actual Democracy and Freedom and Americans.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Like visiting a fucking plantation and complimenting the slave master on how servile and polite everyone is.

    • Hesavebread!

      If he ever makes it to the UK I hope he goes to a football game. Or the opera. Or outside. He’ll learn some new words.

  • Proud Liberal
    • TJ Barke

      He’s so dumb that even if he was innocent he’d manage to incriminate himself.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      DEPOSE HIM!

      verb (used with object), deposed, deposing.
      1.
      to remove from office or position, especially high office:
      The people deposed the dictator.
      2.
      to testify or affirm under oath, especially in a written statement:
      to depose that it was true.
      3.
      Law. to take the deposition of; examine under oath:
      Two lawyers deposed the witness.

    • therblig

      Mueller could interview a bowl of overcooked oatmeal and probably get more cogent answers to his questions.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        #OATMEAL2020. GLORP GLORP GLORPP GLORP.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      You do know that he doesn’t really know most of the people he’s said to be associated with, that Jared is only distantly related to him through marriage, that he only took Ivanka in because she had nowhere else to live, and that Don, Jr. just happens to share the same name, but that’s it….

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And Eric dressed like a Messican for his birthday, so ship him out.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Did you crop out his dog Jingo?

  • A Groucho Marxist

    That #nodrama tag in Junior’s tweet is some disingenuous bullshit, as this whole stunt was designed to create drama. Otherwise, why draw attention to it?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Did you know that Martin Luther King, Jr. was JAILED in Birmingham?! And yet today’s youth chooses him as a role model. Thugs.
    /s

  • anon_the_great

    Poor, sad, mad old man

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    Aren’t you supposed to keep your hand on your heart, though, instead of tapping your chest bizarrely as if to make sure everyone pays attention to where you’re putting your hand?

    • Jimh

      He can’t stop patting.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Y’know, it looked like he was having some trouble holding his hand still. Weakness on his—ironically—right side?

      • Hiss

        Stroke symptom, maybe? One may hope.

  • William

    C’mon people. He did it without any coaching from a porn actress. I call that progress and making America greaterer. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e410076b0d18fb8c3779724c16c56faa2d1d895c812f004ad4f36c52ec27917d.gif

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I wish she had been a porn actress. That would be a lot more interesting than a garden-variety model/gold-digger.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Since it’s on a loop, I’ve watched this enough to realize the real moment is when Barron takes mom’s cue immediately…

      • Hesavebread!

        Yes, the immigrant knows what to do . . .

    • Bill D. Burger

      And this gem. The Fucking Moron was told 3 times NOT to look at the sun directly at any time during the eclipse. He looked 5 times.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/xUNen16DFqlM6v6DEQ/giphy.gif

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        wait, what was he putitng his hands up to “frame” and then pointing at in a different direction?

        DOES THIS MAN NOT KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE SUN?!?

        Fuck, some actual, literal PLANTS recognize where the sun is.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Beaufighter

    BREAKING: Bar for Presidential Public Behavior Modified Accordingly, Never Lower

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Trump-appointed regulators unanimously reject plan to rescue coal and nuclear plants”

    So has Trump bashed this comission on twitter yet, complaining about regulations and stuff?

  • Crystalclear12

    Someone needs to put grampa to bed.

    • mardam422

      Uncle Robert is working on that.

    • Steve-o

      His caffeine meter was running low, but it wasn’t a good time for the next hit of diet coke.

  • dshwa

    Why was he on the field? Don’t remember other presidents doing that.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      come on – you know the answer to that.

      Has to be the center of attention – even when the thing isn’t about him.

      (I was reminded yesterday of an AIDS event where he jumped onstage to make it look like he was being honored, even though he didn’t do anything).

      • Anna Rompage

        Wait, wasn’t that right after he approved cutting the AIDS drug funding budget to ZERO, that helps out millions of people both here and abroad, with the costs of their meds?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          this was at a fundraiser thing years ago I think.

          • A Groucho Marxist

            And he didn’t donate.

      • dshwa

        I did. It was mostly rhetorical.

        It was obviously a stunt about standing for the anthem and for his own ego.

        I’m disappointed (but not surprised) the NCAA went along with it.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          perhaps they saw what happened at the NFL and figured let hte baby have his bottle? I mean that seriously, lord knows NCAA is just as greedy and craven as the NFL.

          • dshwa

            Maybe. The NFL has been in viewer decline for years though, so whether the NCAA attributes that to Trump is up for debate.

    • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

      He was there to play to his base, and to get attention, and to hear the cheers and applause, because he’s the biggest fucking attention whore in history.

      • cmd resistor

        And act like the cheers and applause were for him alone. Even act like all those people chose to attend this game ONLY to see him.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Because attention whore.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Remember, in any national discussion about Trump’s intelligence and sanity: This is a guy who stared at the eclipse without protective glasses.

  • I would’ve liked to have seen the crowd response to trump in my dream National Championship College fooobaw game:

    University of Vermont vs. Cal, played in Yankee Stadium.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      UV Socialists vs. Cal Golden Antifascists. Always a great game.

      • If only UC Santa Cruz had a foobaw team. Alas, Banana Slugs don’t play foobaw.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          They’re always nationally ranked in Hacky Sack, Ultimate Frisbee, and Beer Pong though.

        • marxalot

          That’s Fighting Banana Slugs to you, sir!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      UVM: undefeated for the past 43 years! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermont_Catamounts_football

      There’s got to be some sort of prize for THAT!

      • It’s like the lottery, you can’t lose if you don’t play!

    • little miss high and mighty

      Catamounts vs Bears?
      cats eat bears, too we suppse

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Yes, but the bears are armed.

        • little miss high and mighty

          Cal has more Nobels, so
          njya njya njya njya you Catamounts!

          • Arolpin

            Hell, the Washington University Bears have more Nobels than Vermont, and they only play Division III football.

          • little miss high and mighty

            was that b4 or after Initiative 502?

          • Arolpin

            Well, given that I was referring to Washington University in St. Louis, not University of Washington (Seattle), I’m not sure that it matters. Wash U WAS pretty good about pot though, a friend-of-a friend got busted as a mid-level dealer and the University handled his defense because the cops didn’t get approval from the Campus Police before arresting the guy (at his off-campus apartment), which the University found to be a huge breach of protocol. Kid got off too.

          • little miss high and mighty

            Funny, our song topic here today is an old St.Louis murder case
            Dec 26,1895 St.Louis Globe Democrat (some white guy by-line)
            Above the fold , slugged in 4 pt.:
            William Lyons (aka Biy DeLyon) (1410 Morgan street) shot dead by Lee (AKA Stacker Lee) Shelton(911 12th street) in Bill Curtis? Saloon (Brfoke the bartender’s looking glass).

            Uncensored legend of Stagoo Lee
            (Nick Cave has a better story but the straight dope is only in the ol “S.L. Globe Democrat”
            Is the redlight didstrict still spanning the great river these daze?

          • Arolpin

            I prefer Professor Longhair’s telling of the story, but I’m quite familiar with it, as told by many (including Dr. John, the Grateful Dead, the Clash, and just about any bar band ever).

          • little miss high and mighty

            Great song!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      My dream game is – football on ice! No cleats allowed.

      Slow and steady gets you there.

      • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

        Watch out for #13, he’s got a roll of quarters in that hockey glove!

        https://youtu.be/Zfyh-6Bxvyc

      • Proud Liberal

        That would be a blast to watch!

      • Arolpin

        Well, they used cleats in this one:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1967_NFL_Championship_Game

        But 33 years earlier the Giants won the NFL Championship because the coach had the trainer go to Manhattan college and get sneakers for as many players as they could. The sneakers provided better grip on the ice and the Giants beat the Bears.

        (I read WAY too many books about sports as a kid, and I’ve always remembered this, along with why hockey switched from a ball to a puck. Of course a lot of those books had some dubious stories, but I believed them all at the time.)

  • He probably doesn’t know the words very well, and he’s half-assedly mouthing what he does know, because he looks bored as fuck standing there. It is, after all, a ritual and celebration that’s not about him.

  • Shieldmaidenwannabe

    Did he think the crowd was cheering for him? I say yes to that.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Boo….urns!…

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    I don’t go to the gym (cause I can’t afford my premium), but this might be a good idea:

    Fitness chain bans cable news networks as part of ‘healthy way of life’

    ife Time Fitness, a Minnesota-based gym chain, has decided to eliminate all national cable network news stations from the TV screens at its 128 fitness centers in the U.S. and Canada. The removed channels include CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and CNBC, according to the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

    The decision, which was made at the start of the new year, came after a wave of feedback from gym members over time, Life Time said in a statement on Twitter last week. It also stemmed from the chain’s “commitment to provide family oriented environments free of consistently negative or politically charged content,” the statement read.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/01/09/fitness-chain-has-banned-cable-news-networks-as-part-of-healthy-way-of-life/?hpid=hp_hp-morning-mix_mm-fitness%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.acb0570080b2

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I wholly approve. My heart condition was not improving when watching these on the treadmill, for real…

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        a little lower in the article, they mention some studies on mood and exercise

        • little miss high and mighty

          so sprtsball has been rehabiitated amoung the Wonkerariate, now
          or what?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            my attention is too low for sports, I watch either highlights or used to leave it on in the background – but others seem big on it.

          • marxalot

            I watched a Professional American Fooobaaww game on Saturday. Or rather, I showed up an hour in (they were still in the 2nd) with snacks and read a book while the Boy slumped with despair over the performance of the Rams. I looked up for the replays and the disputed calls. Why does 2 minutes on the clock take 20 minutes to play?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            “Why does 2 minutes on the clock take 20 minutes to play?”

            Review, team activity that doesn’t count against the clock, timeouts, and media timeouts. (I did some college sportsball tv a few times).

          • marxalot

            At least baseball doesn’t pretend to have a clock. For clocked sports, gimme hockey.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol – i’ve told this story before, but a friend in florida who was originally from michigan and I got all tangled up over what time to meet to drink beer and watch “the game.” Turned out he meant hockey playoffs and I meant basketball playoffs. The bball that night was lame, so I watched hockey – which, as a Texan, I’m completely ignorant of. Twas a good game.

            Baseball is best left on the tv when doing something else.

          • marxalot

            Baseball is the best sport to put on the radio while cooking and/or napping.

          • Arolpin

            Baseball is a religion, not a sport. It’s better, though with the passing of Vin Scully it will never be as good as it was.

          • Arolpin

            Viewers certainly get the most action per minute in hockey, but the non-stop play is what I love. I watch a fair amount of hockey, and it seems like every game there is a sequence where the play doesn’t stop for 3-5 minutes. I’ve actually seen 8 minutes without a whistle, which is actually better to see live, because then you can actually watch as they rotate players on the fly and see how the line-change strategy really plays out. (The Boston-Pittsburgh game a couple nights away was won because Pittsburgh was able to get fresh bodies on the ice while Boston was completely exhausted, Boston tried to change and Pittsburgh executed a flawless 2-on-1 for the winning goal in overtime. I could see they were going to score 5 seconds before the shot.)

          • little miss high and mighty

            we “Peoples’s Rep. of Sillystan’s” Hide and Seek State champs

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Well, I’m perverse, as stated…

          • little miss high and mighty

            Minnesota state perv champ?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            well, it’s assumed one is around here.

            ; p

    • William

      My gym sports an app that you can download and the TV will play through your cell phone/device otherwise it’s on mute. There’s a few over on my side. The dark side, the weight room. I simply turn it to the weather channel

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        at my gym, they’re always on mute – but they’re lined up right in front of the treadmills, bikes, and ellipiticals – so if I want to watch Anderson, Tucker is on in the corner of my eye (its why I use to give y’all a nightly Pucker Carlson report).

        Anyway, you have to jack in to the treadmill to hear – I listen to music and peruse the tv stations or take of my glasses and stare off into space (and/or subtly eyeball the good looking women…I know I’m terrible)

        • William

          Another benefit of a small town. No lines for anything.

    • little miss high and mighty

      so the crap, incoming doesn’t outweigh the crap burned on the expensive machinery thingys?

    • janecita

      At my gym they only have HGTV and The Travel Channel on.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        that’s what these guys are doing – cable lifestyle stuff like that and A&E and local channels and sports.

      • Those free over the airwaves networks like Comet and Antenna TV work great, with their constant streams of reruns.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      At the gym I’m in the pool, so no TVs. Yay!

    • mailman27

      I got the guy at the Blood Bank to switch from Fox News to ESPN. Nice and neutral.

    • BearGHAZI

      I occasionally like to WATCH Fox News with a doom metal soundtrack, while running. Gets the juices going

    • Cornelius Fussbudget
  • Shibusa

    Bo Scarbrough is my hero today.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Morning Bo needs to replace Morning Joe.

      • Shibusa

        Just read, though, that he’s claiming he shouted, “Fuck Georgia.” (I don’t think so.)

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Gonna be an awkward trip to the White House for the National Champs.

          • SDGeoff3

            Will they even go?

          • Shibusa

            Maybe he can send Roy Moore in his place.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          We gotta back him up vs the TrumpMonsters. And it’s not like Dolt isn’t already gas-lighting America.

  • janecita

    OT, I binge watched the “Will and Grace” reboot last night. I’m fucking dead:-(

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Dead in a good way or dead in “why did I do that to myself” way?

      • janecita

        Dead in “I don’t wanna be at work” way.

        • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

          Ah, gotcha.

  • Anna Rompage

    Republicans, and the idiot precedents they elect….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEvT_Dw9Bpw

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Michelle’s all “fuck me, how did I get placed next to this fucking idiot?”.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Thank Dog the band didn’t play Brown Sugar.

      • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
        • alwayspunkindrublic

          In reality, the families get on well because the Obamas, with typical grace and humanity, treated the Bushes with great respect and kindness when they were exchanging places in the White House. I’m sure Trump will do the same when he’s frogmarched off in shackles and a straightjacket.

          • Marceline

            W loves him some Michelle. I half expect him to show up at their house asking if Michelle can come out and play.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        “The things I do for you, Barack! When we’re down in the White House you better buy me an island somewhere.”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I love how Barry starts egging him on…

  • Proud Liberal

    If you haven’t read “Fire and Fury”, I suggest you do. Very interesting reading. Trump was committing crimes all along and didn’t believe he would get elected. He’s going down.

    • janecita

      I’m number 11 on my library’s waiting list:-)

      • canes_pugnaces

        You can read it for free on Comrade Assange’s site.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Can I just wait for Mueller to give me the highlights in his indictment for Dolt?

      • Proud Liberal

        Of course! It will happen. I’m certain of it after reading this book.

        • little miss high and mighty

          Our aspirations are with thee, P.L.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m thinking about the description of how he tries to get his friends’ wives in bed by having them stand just outside the door while he tries to get his friends to consent to whores…

      • HooverVilles

        Trump. Repulsive is as repulsive does.

    • canes_pugnaces

      I read it, and yup, he’s a criminal. Always has been. Where I think you miscalculate is the GOP and SCOTUS are going to let him get away with it. His devotees are too stupid to care, etc. Maybe Dems will vote next time?

    • HooverVilles

      GOTP controlled Congress, Senate and SCOTUS. The GOTP bill signing idiot must be protected at all costs.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        The state AG’s will file charges also, and there is no fleeing that; save actual fleeing.

  • mailman27

    Well, Bamz sang along with Al Green,so…..yeah. Fuck Trump!

    • Proud Liberal

      I could listen to that all day.

  • Victoria Ricola

    Today we are all narcissistic old mumbling men with dementia trying to remember the words to our country’s national anthem.

    • DrBigHead

      No, we are not.

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie
    • DrBigHead

      That will end well…..

    • Proud Liberal

      Hurry Mueller!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Short answer. NO.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        beat me to it…have these guys not even SEEN M*A*S*H

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Wasn’t one of the characters in that the ‘strong and stable’ Frank Burns?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i wasn’t a huge watcher of it – but they did have that paragon of normalcy that wore the dresses trying to get a Section 8.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Should go very well. Souel will be very happy to lose several million. And let me guess: during the olympics?

      • JohnBull

        If there’s a strike on Seoul, possibly the best goddamn city in the world, I’m through with this country.

        • canes_pugnaces

          Not sure about the best…. but it’s a great place to visit.

      • Very Stable Bozi

        Why not, Amurica will be too involved with Team Amurica to care.

    • beingreleased

      I’m just glad they are open to the possibility that an all-out war might be a bad thing.

      • DrBigHead

        Baby steps.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Right, they’re going to be totally okay with us blowing up their shit. Isn’t that what Argentina thought during the Falklands War.

      • Bigby

        Hell, that’s what the *Germans* thought when they invaded Poland in ‘retaliation’ for the Poles ‘attacking’ a German radio station.

      • Hesavebread!

        Malvinas Penguinas!

    • freakishlypersistent

      Let the Koreas work it out. They don’t need us anymore. Lil Donnie insulted Lil Kim, so they moved on. Leave it alone.

      • Ducksworthy

        Even though its Winter in Korea and everybody is eating Kimchee, nobody wants to die for Trump.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Yum,,,Kimchee…

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Seriously? So the stable geniuses in the maladministration believe they’re going to come up with a solution that has eluded everyone for the last 75 fucking years? JFC, go ahead and continue to piss off both China and North Korea you fucking imbecile.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        It’s the “lite” version of their claim that they were going to fix the Israel-Palestinian problem – when they said that, I said, oh sure, THESE people will accomplish something the greatest leaders and diplomats have never been able to do (and that’s just in the 20th century, not counting the millenium before it)

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          Jared was ON IT! He didn’t need to know no stinking history…just needed to NEGOTIATE like a boss!

    • Ducksworthy

      We must act quickly before peace breaks out!

      • Hesavebread!

        And the Winter Olympics are in South Korea in a few weeks, pretty close to the border, so yeah, ideal time.

    • Beelzebubba

      On the theory that NK won’t notice?

    • Hiss

      Short answer: no.

  • freakishlypersistent

    I love it when I’m at the track, losing my shirt on the ponies, and cocktailing before noon, but at the start of the first race, the anthem, all the degenerate gamblers and drunks stop and put their hands over their hearts on their way to the betting window, because patriotism. So ridiculous.

  • HooverVilles

    I have sympathy for that service person who had to stand next to Trump and hear that. What an embarrassment. Trump is embarrassing in everything he does.
    This “highly educated”, like really intelligent, stable genius, with the “best words”, and best “memory” can not memorize those words that he says are important to respect.
    Trump – Pfffft! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d361003fd68f65dc5cff42110101f250a308ce630bcd686501489f0644354b32.jpg

    • leslie

      they all looked pained to have to stand next to him…like….do we h a v e to?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Very Stable Bozi

    Did not watch the game, did any players kneel during the anthem? I would think they were warned not to, and many players would not want to in case they had a chance for positions in the NFL.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      They all stayed in the locker room until after the anthem.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      NCAA does not mandate players be on the field for the Anthem.

    • little miss high and mighty

      N ational
      C orrupt
      A varicious
      A nti kneelerdowners

  • beingreleased

    https://twitter.com/DavidMDrucker/status/950759425807126530
    He plans to run as a racist fuckRepublican.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Arpaio…he’s like Hitler, but old and without the sense of humor.

      • JohnBull

        And Hitler’s followers could actually rally without lawn chairs.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      He’s “an alternative to Kelli Ward”?

      And the electric chair is an alternative to the firing squad.

    • Beelzebubba

      Roy Moore redux. Can we arrange for idiotic racist shitheels to run for every GOP seat in Congress?

    • yyyaz

      Good luck finding a billionaire stupid enough to through money at you, Piehole.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      What AZ needs is a bigger 2018 GOP Clown Car.

    • ….why iconic?

  • Bill D. Burger

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTD6OKkXcAEgIre.jpg

    (M)ake the (A)sshole (G)o (A)way

  • JohnBull
    • Katamount

      “Hey, it’s Enrico Palazzo!”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • freakishlypersistent

      Talking Horse. Talking Horses’ Ass.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I love the fact that he tweets this each and every day:

    https://twitter.com/DavidCornDC/status/950738831623491587

  • James Baskin

    FOX NEWS ALERT: TRUMP STANDS FOR NATIONAL ANTHEM!!!!!!
    In other news, president has very small hand placed over cold dark heart.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Donald Trump is the stupidest man ever “Elected” President. He makes Dubya look like a Rhodes Scholar. Trump has never read a single book ever, not even the ones he supposely wrote. He has no curiousity for any knowledge ever. Its depressing as hell that we went from having arguely the smartest man Elected to the stupidest man elected. I am not sure hes even literate to be honest. It doesnt surprise me he doesnt know the lyrics of the national anthem.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Release your college transcripts, Don.

  • Katamount

    FFS, is there anything more obnoxious than this kind of performative patriotism? It’s one thing for kids in schools to have to stand for an anthem or for fans at a sports arena to just do what the announcer says and everyone around you does rather than make a fuss. Hell, I’ve heard beautiful renditions of the Star Spangled Banner from amongst the mumbled half-silence of the Rogers Centre in Toronto and I recall applauding the two women who sang it.

    But this is not pride in country as any kind of constructive or reflective endeavour. This is bog standard “STFU hippies” “pride” in country that is entirely reactive and petty. I saw plenty of the the constructive kind during the Canada 150 celebrations in Nova Scotia. Every small town along the Cape Breton coast had a Canada 150 flag raised high and every township had something special going on to celebrate it. And there was plenty to criticize along the way, particularly from native groups. Canada’s been slow to come to grips with its colonial past, but it’s on the right track in my view. Either way, we don’t play this kind of nonsense.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Hear, hear. Predisent Bone Spurs, if he really loved this country, would resign tomorrow.

      • Katamount

        Hehe, “Predisent Bone Spurs.”

        You know, as vainglorious as I think the St. Crispin’s Day speech from Henry V can be in light of industrial warfare (the Somme being a rather grim example), I can at least appreciate what soldiers take from that soliloquy in terms of the bond of shared peril and the camaraderie that comes from participating in armed service. Old Man Bone Bone Spurs would just shout “Speak English!” at the poor actor playing Henry.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          I just read that speech to my daughter night before last!

          • Katamount

            I consider it one of Shakespeare’s best, perhaps even better than the better known monologues of Hamlet or Macbeth. Heck, that whole play is one of my favourites.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    You would think that someone who says they’re a billionaire would own more than three ties.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Clip-ons are hard to find these days.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    ♫ Jose, can you see
    By the Don’s early blight
    What’s so loudly we flailed
    At the toilet’s last cleaning?
    Whose flawed tripes and slight bars
    Brewed the querulous plight
    Or the lampoons we botched
    Was so silo-like reaming?
    And the pocket’s eclair
    The moms twerking in there
    Saved goofs to the site
    That the Don was still there
    O say that bar-mangled janitor is there
    Or the bland will charge a fee
    And the gnomes love a cave! ♫

    • Bill D. Burger

      Dubya’s National Anthem is becoming relevant once more:
      (“It’s deja vu all over again.”)

      ♩♩ Oh say can you see __ where our freedoms have gone?
      What was easily lost by our apathy and greed.
      Banksters put us in debt, obscene profits bad bets.
      In the still of the night,there was no o-ver-sight!

      While we cheered our HOME TEAMS, Lawyers stole all OUR DREAMS
      Outsourcing our jobs, closing factories down!

      Oh Say can you tell me who our leaders represe-ent?
      Corporations run the show, and along we must go!

      On the shore, dimly lit, politicians were split
      by lobbyists galore – making deals on the floor.
      Health insurance sky-high, no-one cares to ask why.
      Now Big Pharma makes the rules. FDA is their tool!

      No-one noticed A THING, the real news was MIS-SING!
      What news we might hear causes panic and fear.

      Oh say can you tell me where our government has gone?
      In the land of the sheep, and the home of the bribe
      (sorry, that’s campaign contribution) ♩♩

    • JaveyDay

      Oh say can you sting
      by the prawn’s girly fight.
      What so loudly we failed
      at the fight night’s fast reaming.
      News broad swipes and white scars
      threw the garrulous kite.
      Oar the damp parts we scotched
      Were so valiantly scheming.
      And the pocket’s dead scare
      The bombs squirting in air,
      Save goof through the light
      That the frag was still near.
      Oh hey does that scar-fangled manner yet crave,
      For the land of the free, and the home of the brave.

    • jesuswasablack

      This interpretation of the anthem (while quite amusing) is above a fifth graders comprehension level (querulous plight) therefore it can’t be liddle Donny’s interpretation?
      http://www.delightfulknowledge.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/trump-funny-face-628×356.jpg

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Jose, can you see,
      By the dawn’s early news
      You’ll be sent away soon
      To El Salvador’s shores.
      Our red stripes and gold stars
      Don’t want your brown ass
      ‘Cuz the Donald decreed
      You’re just free loadin’ takers.
      So gather your stuff,
      And your kids, wives, and pets,
      And here’s the plane tickets
      They’re one way, you bet.
      And the Star-Spangled banner
      In triumph doth wave,
      But we’ll let you back in
      When you come back a slave.

  • Bigby

    Wait, I heard from The Gateway Pundit that Trump was actually the ACT that SANG the anthem for everyone, Mariah Carey-style, and that EVERY SINGLE PERSON THERE cheered, even the ni-CLANGs on both teams, and that Merka is now a far-right paradise so shut up forever libtards!

    Is that…not correct? As we all know, getting one single thing ‘wrong’ tars you forever (cough-57 states-only-thing-they-could-come-up-with-after-8-yrs-cough) as un-Merkin Kenyan Mooslim scum, soooooo, when we get the hot mic results on Drumpf, SMOTI will agree he’s a dumbshit, right?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Youse make a lot of cents.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Wow, last night there was a foooobawwww game, and the dotard went to it, huh? Hang on, let me visit my field of fucks and see if I have any to give about any of this. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a43fd55d7853c8fd6c520fd970f631514906861aac962dd223284c4472310cd1.jpg
    Thought not.

  • Jgb979

    Literally the only reason he did that is for the ego boost. He thought 100% of the audience would applaud and probably throw roses. All foam fingers would read “Donald Trump actual hand size” for the night.

    HEY LAZY SHITHEAD. LEARN THE ANTHEM IF YOU WANT TO HAVE THE RIGHT TO CRITICIZE OTHERS ABOUT IT.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      He knew the winning team was never going to visit him at the White House, so he figured he could get some of that sweet, sweet college football approval ratings by rubbing up against it a little bit. Don’t think it worked.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Any bets the Orange Anus couldn’t make thru the Pledge of Allegiance? Anyone?

    • Katamount

      Shit, some of us Canadians know our anthem in two languages, both radically different in content (the French one is far more martial and religious).

      But most Canadians have probably forgot the lyrics in their native tongue……..

      • natoslug

        Our anthem has neither a good beat, nor can you dance to it. It’s time we had Shakira update it. Given our increasing police-state, she should title it Law.

        • Katamount

          Nah, just replace it with the old Hockey Night In Canada theme like it should have been decades ago.

    • Blackest Noobs

      i know, right.

  • Bub, the like, cynical zombie
  • Beelzebubba

    Trump standing for the national anthem is a “news alert”?
    Fucks Gnus really is going off the rails.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    An inane joke for the morning.

    “Did anyone take a knee during the Anthem while Trump was at the NCAA championship game?”
    “Look, if anything goes missing while Trump’s around, just assume that he took it.”

  • OrG Unstable Genius

    To be fair, he was prolly expecting the russian national anthem.

    • Hesavebread!

      I may be expecting too much here; but he does know that Georgia the state and Georgia the country are two different things? Doesn’t he?

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      See above

  • dshwa

    They should have sung the verse about slavery. I’m sure he remembers the words to that one.

    • Hesavebread!

      Didn’t he go to a military academy? I would have thought they would be quite big on knowing the words.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        Bronze Star for “neatness”, no “V”

        Sad!

  • IdiotsforPalin

    At least Roseanne Barr knew the words……….

    • And she grabs *her own* puss (which she has permission to grab, unlike Preznit Grabbem).

  • Jimh

    FOX NEWS ALERT: Trump stands up!
    (Up next, he sits down! crosses legs! He’s a BIG boy!)

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Has Dump taken credit for AL win last night?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He claims Bannon was rooting for Georgia. Sad.

  • MamaBrown

    Why is he always patting himself when he places his hand over his heart? Is it to congratulate himself for being a good boy? (the BEST boy, bigly). Or is he trying to reassure himself that his cold and miserable excuse for a heart is still beating? (I have the biggest, beatingest heart. Tremendous.)

  • gnomemansanisland

    This kind of crap always reeks of fascism to me. But I’m weird that way.

    • Rick Hill

      “If the trump administration seems abhorrent to you…you might be a decent human being.”

  • Rick Hill

    You know what else shows your country respect? Not dismantling it piecemeal and stealing every bit your tiny grifting hands can grift.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      He also just sold out Americans to Large Oil, rolling back safety regulations that were put into place after Deep Water Horizon……AND repealing the .09 a barrel tax on oil producers that went into a “rainy day fund” to help clean up future oil spills…..that leaves the American people to pay for and clean up any future messes. FUCK YOU TRUMP……

  • TootsStansbury

    Who cares. He’s a fucking Nazi asshole who belongs in jail with the rest of the GOP mafia.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    O’er the Volga we watched

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      And the Katyusha’s red glare, the Sturmovik’s firing in the air, gave truth to the night, that our generals were hammered on Stoli, comrades!

  • Stable Genius Jack

    Sandra, being a Bama fan (she came about it honestly. She went there and even played in the Million Dollar Band), watched the game. I watched a bit too. When the asshole came out, she growled at the screen.

    “THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU!”

    She was PISSED.

    Turns out that one of the color guard or something died before the game. 19 year old. I don’t know the details. Apparently, his little visit took air time away from something the bands from BOTH teams did in her honor. Not that he’d give a shit.

    He got booed, as he should have. He left at halftime.

    I have a theory. I think Donnie had no idea that there is no requirement in the NCAA or the SEC for the players to be on the field during the anthem. They never come out. He was expecting them to be on the field and expecting at least one player to kneel so he could make a big show of walking out of the game to the cheers of inbred rubes everywhere.

    It’s just a theory.

    • Theory holds together.

    • Lefty Wright

      If Trump actually knew anything, he would be even more dangerous. Just imagine if any of his ideas had any basis in reality.

  • Ray in VT

    What are the odds that Fox just happened to show the bit where he was mouthing the words? What a coincidence.

  • Ray in VT

    Why is the President flying to be on the field for a football game again? Also too, did this cut into his “executive time”?

    • tomamitai

      You expect him to walk? ;)

  • Joshua Norton
  • Red Bird

    The current anthem should not be the anthem. We have better options.

    • SisterArtemis

      Since you raised the issue… I’d like it to be the “This Land is Your Land” Woody Guthrie one.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Or as the GOP sings it, “This land is my land, this land is my land…”

      • Red Bird

        I like America The Beautiful myself.

    • Well, they put it to a vote (don’t know who voted) back in the 1930s, when it was pointed out that the US didn’t have a national anthem. “The Star Spangled Banner” beat out “America the Beautiful” by one vote.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      True dat, 8 octave range was written for geese, not naked apes

  • Blackest Noobs

    perhaps someone with a twitter account could send this to Prez DumbFuckNuts

    https://genius.com/Francis-scott-key-star-spangled-banner-annotated

  • Swampay

    Sing or sing not. There is no try

  • natoslug

    I appreciated his swaying back and forth and occasionally patting his pocket, checking for tic-tacs and the spare condom he’s kept at the ready in there since 1977. Made a nice contrast to the servicemen on either side of him, standing stoically and actually treating the national anthem like it has some sort of meaning.

    • theCryptofishist

      That condom is guaranteed to break after 40 years. Even on that tiny dick.

  • tomamitai

    Black athletes should protest by giving the Bellamy salute during the anthem, just to make all the kkknazi heads explode.

  • Mavenmaven

    It was hard for Trump to remember the words because he was singing this: Россия – священная наша держава,
    Россия – любимая наша страна…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      ♫ О, скажите, видите ли,
      Если президент безумен? ♫

  • LucindathePook

    Mr. P’s version:
    As we stand here waiting
    For the ball game to start…

  • Poly_Ester

    donnie is acting more like a parrot than a patriot in the video.

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Putin’s Parrot pines for the fjords

      • Hiptobesquare

        Big rec for the great Python sketch ref!

  • kajeb

    Plainly looks like dementia to me. That’s how both of my parents sang familiar songs when they had Alzheimer’s.

  • Slithytoves

    He did too sway. I think he has a parasite in his brain like that Star Trek movie. Wrath of Khan Kzir, I think it was.

    • phoenix00

      Those little blue books, with all those pesky Amendments, so hard to remember, even harder to follow!

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Nah, parasites have to eat something

  • TundraGrifter

    “Did Donald Trump forget the words to the national anthem of the country he is president of again?”

    Nope. He never knew them in the first place.

  • TundraGrifter

    Many years ago there was a TV show where they had people found in the New York City telephone book say their first or last names to “sing” the song “You’re A Grand Old Flag.” it was very funny. I particularly remember “Bjorn DeForte July.”

  • greyXstar

    Whatever. He didn’t know the words. Wonket knows it, I know it, my fellow non-existent commenters know it. He’s a dumbass.

  • Me not sure

    Word is that he didn’t stay for the game, and promptly left to go back to DC. I wonder how much that little photo op cost the taxpayers?

    • psychobroad

      I didn’t think he’d really stay, it wasn’t about him and you have to pay attention.

      • James Lamere

        Did he stay for the chanting , crotch -grabbing half-time show ?

    • phoenix00

      #StayedLongerThanPence

  • OK I’m a Brit but after “that our flag was still there” I tend to fall into singing “I wish you a merry Christmas”

    • TundraGrifter

      “To Anacreon in Heaven.”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I looked up the words and music of “To Anacreon in Heaven” and it was hard to see how that roistering song gradually morphed into our National Ditty.

        Just for laughs, I would like to see Trump try to say “Anacreon” some time. Maybe if people spread the word that Obama used to say Anacreon perfectly all the time, it might goad the Orange Foolius into proving his superior whiteness.

        • TundraGrifter

          It’s Greek to me.

        • Here’s how it happened.

          Back around 1800, there was no Netflix, no cable TV, no talk radio. For fun, people got together and formed singing clubs, to entertain themselves and others at the local tavern. To show off their mad vocal skillz, they’d often pick songs that weren’t the easiest to do – like “To Anacreon in Heaven”. That one was pretty popular around Baltimore circa 1812, and local bigwig F. Scott Key knew it, and knew that many other people knew it, too. So….

      • Mary Stone

        I know all the words to that one, and I sing it to the star speckled banana all the time ;-).

    • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

      Dammit, Words, now I’m going to think that every time I go to a sportsball game.

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      jose, can you sí?

  • Does he think that by patting his chest his hands will look bigger?

    • Daniel

      I think he’s trying to cop a feel.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        At least he got there!

    • gratuitous

      Fidgeted like a six-year-old during the sermon, didn’t he?

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    I agree with the proposal that he replaced a bunch of the words with “me” like, “oh say can you see me me me me me MEEEEE!” in the parts he did sing. and I am surprised that he hasn’t respected the fuck out of our national anthem by changing it to “Hail to the Chief”.

    • Daniel

      He replaced a bunch of the words with “me”

      Beaker libel!

    • Lefty Wright

      How about Hell to you, Chief?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        “Heil to the Chief”? too soon?

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Jail to the Thief?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Best words to Hail to the Chief:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zarlpmVW2bM

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I think it was a perfectly consensual coagulant version of our Nominal Antler and not a sign of Causitive Impalement of the Blain.

  • Did the Secret Service have to run out and get him a couple of Big Macs and Supersized fries ??

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Why did he keep tapping his chest? Was he feeling up his moob?

    • FelineMama

      He was just letting everyone know how patriotic he is. He knows “put hand over heart, pat it so MY people know I have a heart.” & that’s what you do.”

    • Erala Contratista

      Kept patting himself at the Arlington ceremony, too, also.
      Maybe it helps him remember the 2 or 5 words he knows.

    • OppressedMass

      I was wondering about that too – what a weird little gesture.

  • FelineMama

    Now, mr. prezidint, please recite the Pledge of Allegiance (the America one). “I pledge alliance to a flag of the ah, ah, states of AMERICA. & to my republic for , for, for..uhm. One nation UNDER GOD & My REPUBLIC of, ah, ah, ah, with mumble, hmmm, , for all”

  • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

    Although I get this author’s point, Atlanta itself is not really “Trump country”, and there were boos and protests as well.

    https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5a542f6be4b01e1a4b18c409

  • psychobroad

    I still don’t understand why he had to insert himself into the game. He hates GA, Atlanta’s been known as a black Mecca for years. Please someone tell me, it’s driving me crazy.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Someone told him that the game was in his honor.

    • Something was getting lots of cheers and tv time and he was not in it.
      Pretty sure that is it

  • James Lamere

    The other night AMC movie showed headline “MONSTER INVADES LONDON ” Is Trumps trip off or on ?

  • Nephilim

    I would appreciate it if everyone would leave my President, Mango Mussolini, alone. /s

  • WTF? no lapel pins?

  • Little Lulu Ω
    • cleos_mom

      I’m guessing “Sassy Trump” is the name of the offspring he hasn’t acknowledged?

  • pixeloid

    Here is a totally real recording of tRump “singing” with subtitles for those of us who don’t speak idiot.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo_mpwmashg

  • Gup

    Sassy Trump version of this event.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlFmA7TZOvM

  • phoenix00

    #KaepernickKnowsTheWords

  • rg9rts

    Oh Say Can You See Any Bed Bugs On Me

  • cleos_mom

    When he says the Pledge of Allegiance, does he include that special reference to the Republican, Richard Stands?

  • John Shippley

    How embarrassing for the real patriots to have to stand with this crybaby who had a bone spur on . . . which foot was it?

  • Donna Schoenkopf

    funnneeeee!!

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