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Sorry to any who were hoping Oprah Winfrey would run for president and win in 2020. Alex Jones revealed on his show Monday that if she even tries to run, she will be exposed as a total Oprah LOSEfrey, who LOSES like a LOSER, and the reason is because Oprah is “designed” to use her “black face” to “carry out the enslavement of black folks” and also “everybody else.” That … seems racist? We are just saying!

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have always broken down the fact that Oprah Winfrey is a top globalist, a top eugenicist, who pushes a one world religion through her private foundation. She’s even got a new age movie coming out to brainwash the children.” […]

We’re going to break down why Oprah Winfrey will never be elected president of the United States because of the skeletons in her closet.

This is the guy who “broke down” how chemtrails in the water are turning the frogs into big gay homosexers, and who “broke down” how the Deep State is doing Snow White poisons to Donald Trump by putting roofies in the 12 Diet Cokes he drinks a day, and who “broke down” the truth about how Beyoncé is methodically murdering all white Americans, so …

So!

Yeah, we still think that is kind of racist?

Then again, Jones also recently correctly identified CNN’s Brian Stelter as a person who is literally “drunk on our children’s blood,” which is just so obvious, like isn’t that what you have always thought of CNN’s Brian Stelter? (Yes, you are free to Google which one Brian Stelter is, in case you forgot who is LITERALLY DRUNK ON YOUR CHILDREN’S BLOOD like we did. Hint: He’s one of the ones who isn’t Jake Tapper.)

So …

So!

OK, screw it, have an open thread, because we don’t feel like giving this any more “analysis” than we already have, as it is motherfuckin’ EXECUTIVE TIME.

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  • JaveyDay

    Here’s the opening number for D@DDY TRUMP’s Fake News Awards.

    GENIUS PRESIDENT OF GOD
    by TRUMP D@DDY
    feat. DJ Ivankadonk and B.i.G E. T.R.u.M.P.Z.

    My skills are BIGLY!
    And My Brain is Good and Huge .
    I’m spinning Rhymes like they’re Turds in a Sentryfuge (what)
    I Look so Good when I’m Putin on My MAGA Hat-
    At the Rally with the Klan ,where my People At?

    To All the Losers , All the Haters : FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)
    To All the Losers, All the Haters :FAKE NEWS ! (Fake News!!)
    Now Ivanka, Drop the Beat
    on These Breitbart Fools!

    (MAGA)

    I am Tremendous.
    And my Words are All The Best.
    I Rock it Harder than jared in his kevlar Vest (peace!)
    Want My Fire? Want my Fury? I can Bring those Too.
    SLOPPY STEVE, you’re just Mad I “You’re Fired!” You !!

    To All the Losers ,All the Haters :FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)
    To All the Losers , All the Haters : FAKE NEWS ! (Fake News!)
    Now Ivanka drop That beat
    On These Breitbart Fools!

    *DJ Ivankadonk drops it like it’s hot*
    I Am Complicit
    (Unnnhhh) In all that Daddy Does.
    You’ve seen the pictures; I don’t care what you think of us (unnnhhh!)
    I am his Princess (unnhh) and his Kingdom will be mine (oh yeah!)
    But for now I launder money through my jewelry line (UNNNHHHH!)

    (Fake News! Fake News!)

    *B.i.G E. T.R.u.M.P.Z. slings it fresh*
    You are My Daddy.
    You Are so Very Big And Strong.
    Your Hands are GIANT and your Fingers are So Long.
    I am Your Baby Boy, Barron ain’t Got Shit on Me–
    DADDY ,won’t you tell Me that You Love me , PLEASE (no)

    (Fake News! Fake News!)

    *TRUMP D@DDY brings it back*
    I am A Genius!
    And I am Also very Stable.
    My Greasy Fists pounding Hard on that Oval Table- (tell ’em daddy)
    Making America GREAT, that’s What I’m here To Do;
    My Button’s BIG and it WORKS And I’ll Use it Too! (UNNNHHHH!)

    To All the Losers;, All the Haters :: FAKE NEWS!! (Fake News!)
    To All the Losers, All The haters : FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)
    Now Ivanka drop That Beat
    on These Breitbart fools!

    To All the losers, all The Haters : FAKE NEWS!! (Fake News!)
    To All the Loosers, All the Haters:–FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)
    To all The Losers;all the Haters–FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)

    TO All The LOSERS!!!
    All the HATERS!!
    FAKE NEWS!!!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • James Baskin

      Awwwwwwww……..

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      What I want to know is, where was he in that photo? It doesn’t look like it was taken at home…there’s a parking lot in th background…

  • OrG

    In answer to the headline-NO!

  • canes_pugnaces

    Who watches Jones? Do coma patients have their sets tuned in? Is he played in morgues? And why does el wonketeria care? He’s insane. There’s not a lot else there.

    • Swampgas_Man

      He’s easy and fun to mock.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        That accounts for part of his audience. The rest are severely brain-damaged and believe him implicitly.

  • Duke

    I’ll say it:

    Oprah, please just stop.

    I know, if Trump can be president, any media personality has a good shot. We need a serious candidate who’ll be a centrist and rebuild the Democratic party. No amateurs.

    • The Wanderer

      ” . . . who’ll be a centrist repair the damage left by the Trump Administration and rebuild the Democratic Party.”
      FIFY

    • Ling Ling

      I’m not voting for an AntiVaxxer or any sort of “anti science” candidate.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Lol, Oprah’s an anti-vaxxer? OK, she’s officially not smart enough to be a decent president. Hella big improvement on what we have now, sure, but let’s find a serious person this time, please.

    • arglebargle

      You mean like The Rock?

      • Lordpnut

        Kid rock

        • FlownΩver

          …who is, by the by, neither.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I’d at least consider it, even though I can’t stand his politics, if he campaigned wearing a traditional Maori loincloth and a smile.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Centrists are only a good choice when there IS a center. Besides, by the standards of the civilised world the federal Dems are pretty much centre-right already.

      • FlownΩver

        [see above, where this was sposta be.

    • Darkrose

      Has she given any indication that she’s interested? No?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    His eyes are up there, but my lunch is on the floor…

  • An Outhouse for the résistance
    • The Wanderer

      I’ll reach out to them – and [REDACTED] a [REDACTED] on their pointy widdle heads.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I don’t see how this would make the world any better, but okay. How much pain should we inflict?

  • James Baskin

    “Ezzz hairy. Like aneemul.”

    • The Wanderer

      Is Dr. Moreau missing a test subject?

    • Ling Ling

      The Tejas BBQ Ground Sloth makes big noise but is not especially dangerous.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • The Wanderer

      I have the strangest boner right now . . .

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Is it corkscrewing clockwise again?

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Pics or GT… what am I SAYING?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Right, because masturbating while hanging off the edge of a cliff is something that sane and normal people do all the time…

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc6f3d5f4a7b9515b6142415d04f858ca2b395a5e79dc095e1939b51de7a75e9.gif

      • JMP

        Rule 34; there’s people out there with a fetish for everything imaginable.

        • The Wanderer

          Very true. I could cite examples, but “That would be wrong,” as Nixon used to say.

      • marxalot

        X-treme! sports just aren’t doing it anymore.

      • Lordpnut

        Due diligence requires masturbation before reaching the cliff.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Wait… we don’t?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I don’t see what the big deal is. Jesus here is obviously going for a walk on the lake; Mike Masturbator is going to fall a whole ten feet into the water and have a quick swim to shore, a little wet, sure, but unharmed.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      “Kent. Stop touching yourself.”

      -God, maybe

      • wait! what?

        …what do you think a single phase conjugate tracking system is for? A BIG mirror makes a BIG beam…

    • janecita

      That’s one huge dick! I would be jerking off in all sorts of ridiculous places if I were a dude and I had a penis that big.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        I figure it’s about half the length of his femur…

    • JMP

      The sad thing is, considering how crazy much of the world has gotten I can’t be sure if this is meant as a joke or someone is actually serious about this, and thinks ‘stopmasturbationnow.org’ is a legitimate use of their time and effort.

    • Fartknocker

      I was wondering when we FINALLY have some sensibility and decorum by providing at least one dick joke.

    • everstar

      My brother was involved with a Christian frat in college, and no joke, that was the most (apparently) homoerotic frat house I ever saw in my life. Posters on the walls of Russell Crowe in Gladiator (you know how pro-Christian values that movie was), Mel Gibson in We Were Soldiers, and Sylvester Stallone in Rocky. Also their slogan was painted over the mantle: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” I nearly fell over trying not to laugh.

      The best part came a few months later when a frat brother was discovered to have been using the communal computer to—gasp!—search for porn! The solution for this, my brother told me, was a password lock on the computer. I initially assumed they hadn’t given the password to the porn guy, but no, he had the password. I confessed that I didn’t see how this in any way solved the problem.

      You see, the password they’d chosen was a Bible verse, so every time the guy went to log in, he’d be reminded that Jesus was monitoring his browser history, and that would stop him. (Much to my disappointment, the verse used was not the verse about Onan, nor the verse about donkeys. Real missed opportunities, imho.)

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Doesn’t anybody just choke themselves out, anymore? Kids these days…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’d like to see the editors in the Iowa City newspaper do a long expose on Grassley, figuring in the Death Panels and all the other crazy shit he’s done to his constituents, figuring they’re all stupid because they live in Iowa…

      • OrG

        Wish in one hand, shit in the other…

        • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

          Dad?

        • The Wanderer

          See which weighs more.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I’m not going to do that, okay?…

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      They will.

  • Marion in Savannah

    FWIW, Oprah Winfrey does NOT need to run for President. If the Democrats were dumfucked enough to actually nominate her I’d hold my nose and vote for her, but REALLY? REALLY? What this country does not need any more of is any TV personality, however personable and well intentioned, living in the goddamn White House. There. Now y’all may feel free to pile on and tell me what a racist bitch I am.

    • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump
    • canes_pugnaces

      I am almost certain she’d lose. And that’s against Trump or his facsimile.

    • BigCSouthside

      Nope. I’m with ya. Kamala, Liz, Kirsten, Tammy, Booker, Biden all much better choices

      • Marion in Savannah

        I’ll even nix Biden for age reasons. (Trust me —at 72 I know about aging.)

        • I want Biden on the ticket as VP. There aren’t any term limits, so Biden for VP for life.

          I’m only half joking!

          • Marion in Savannah

            Wellll… Maybe… But the person elected President had better be pretty young and springy.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            That’s why I gave you half an upvote.

          • BigCSouthside

            I’d be fine with just letting joe hang around the west wing, pop in on meetings, shoot the shit with the press corps, steal snacks from the White House kitchen etc

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            Wax his Trans Am in the west lawn…

          • everstar

            I would join the “Veep Biden for Life” movement but I think he’d just sit outside the Oval Office whining sadly whenever someone who wasn’t Obama walked by.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Well, unless there were a really cool new prexy who could rock those memes with him. Then we’d see him being a happy camper.

          • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

            “Listen, Joe, I know I’m not your real Barack…”

            “Then why are you acting like it?!”

          • FlownΩver

            so Biden for VP for half-life.?

        • BigCSouthside

          I prob would too. Still better than a tv star with no experience. I’d like to see Harris/Gillibrand in either combo, with Warren at treasury, duckworth at Defense, a former dem governor at state (not sure who). RBG resigns and Barry Obama is named to the Supreme Court. Hillary sips Chardonnay with bill knowing her persecution and trump led to one of the best blue governments in history.

          • willi0000000

            some differences with you . . . Liz Warren stays in the Senate . . . on or chairing Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs and/or Finance.

            if RBG decides to take early retirement i can see an Obama, not Barack, Michelle.

            Barack might be a great fit to head State though . . . or UN Ambassador.

      • CripesAmighty

        My secret wish is for Howard to give it another crack.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Get out of my head!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I think we’ve got some really smart Democrat women in Congress who could make a much better run for it. My own personal favorite is Amy Klobochar…

      • Marion in Savannah

        DemocratIC. It’s a major bugbear with me.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Sorry. I think you’re wrong. These women might be democratic (small d), but they belong to the party of Democrats. Granted, the Democratic Party is an official title, but I will continue to use Democrat when referring to individuals or collective individuals. And I fart in your general direction…(also, I’m older than you)…

          • Toledo Window Box

            There’s no such thing as Democrat women. You are wrong.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Tell it to the Democrat women at the Cheboygan Democratic Party meetings…

          • BreakingDeadMen

            Democrat Party is a slur. Individuals may be referred to as Democrats.

          • Parakeetist

            DemocratIC

            For pete’s sake

          • Lascauxcaveman

            What a dumb thing to say.

            If you are a member of the Democratic party, they you are a Democrat. If you are also female, then you are a Democrat woman. Or a woman Democrat.

          • Toledo Window Box

            No – you can be a female Democrat, but you would be a Democratic woman. That’s how our language works. Democratic is the adjective modifying the noun “woman”. “Democrat” is not an adjective.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            OK, I get that point. But nouns often serve as adjectives even when it may not technically be correct. For example, lets say you have a big tree you need cut down, and your friend offers to call “that logger cousin of mine” to help out. I suppose it would be more correct to say “my cousin, who is a logger” but it’s no more clear or efficient or accurate in meaning to phrase it that way.

          • Toledo Window Box

            Logger is a verb or a noun, which (I think) is why it works in that context – which it does! Democrat is only a noun. Does that make any sense?

          • Lascauxcaveman

            No, not really. I see logger as a noun only. Being used as an adjective in this case. Logging is a verb (active). Log is a verb (passive or future). Logged is a verb (past). I can’t see my way to ‘logger’ being a verb somehow. I do think you can use any number of nouns as an adjective without too much awkwardness.

            My chef cousin.
            Steve’s bookkeeper sister.
            Your dog and cat companions.
            My Democrat wife.

            On that last one, I think it actually makes the meaning more clear, since the word democratic in common usage has more than one meaning. If I say “my democratic wife” it could just mean she doesn’t hold with totalitarianism or authoritarianism (even if she’s not a member of the Democratic party.) If I was at a cocktail party full of people arguing the benefits of fascism, it could actually be a handy phrase. If I was pointing out that she’s a member of the democratic party, in the same conversation, I’d probably go with “my Democrat wife.”

            I would never, ever use the term “Democrat party” since the proper term, Democratic party, is abundantly more clear and accurate than the R’s silly attempt at disparagement they like to throw out there whenever possible.

            It’s fun to talk about these things.

          • Toledo Window Box

            He logs. He’s a logger.
            Works better for someone who maintains clerical logs, say, than somebody that cuts down trees.

            But you make REALLY good points. Democratic IS vague.

          • Marion in Savannah

            RONG.

            I am a Democrat. I belong to the DemocratIC party. When you are referring to members of Congress or the President they are referred to by their party.

          • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

            I heard on the Alex Jones Show that it’s “Demoncrats”.

          • Parakeetist

            I fart back.

      • Toledo Window Box

        She’s great, but she comes across as a smart and conscientous school superintendant, perhaps – not a President.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          So, you want a firebrand?…

          • Toledo Window Box

            I want someone who has a vision and great charisma. She doesn’t. Again – I think she’s amazing as a Senator.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            If this is in favor of Oprah, IMHO, that’s a terrible choice. While you may love her, the people who hate her are pretty good at inflamed anger, and will see in her the exact polar opposite of donald trump. We need someone who can redesign a role for the working class and gain their support, not someone who can be seen as an elitist, tv personality…

          • BigCSouthside

            A huge portion of the “working class” voted HRC. A huge portion of all white people regardless of wealth voted trump. Don’t buy into that “forgotten man” shit. The only people to give two shits about the middle class for about 40 years are Democrats

          • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

            We nominated someone who 30 million people already hated for no good reason once before. But maybe it will work this time??

        • everstar

          I personally can take or leave the charisma; my main requirement at this point is basic intelligence.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            A good education helps, as well as a worldview based on actual facts. Any sort of woo should be an immediate disqualification.

          • Toledo Window Box

            The charisma thing leads to popular support and the ability to sell one’s ideas to the nation. Charismatic leaders do better.

      • everstar

        The perpetually senior senator from Minnesota! [polishes her “Klobuchar for Senate” badge]

    • My one beef with Oprah is the fact that she gives airtime to anti-vaxxers and New Age grifters. I don’t want Dr Oz, or even worse, Jenny McCarthy running HHS.

      • Toledo Window Box

        If that’s the worst of it, she’s head and shoulders ahead of every other person that ever ran, in terms of negatives.

      • Parakeetist

        You do know she’s not… oh, fuck it.

      • SadDemInTex

        Dear fucking god, can we get off the vaccination issue….I’m more worried that healthcare for most people will be so unaffordable that people won’t be able to get vaccines at all.

    • marxalot

      Maybe we should bend back toward “career public servant” instead. You know, try something crazy. Who’s the Postmaster General right now? Think they want a new job?

      • The Wanderer

        Nope, sorry. I want no one associated with Lord Dampnut and his Reign of Error anywhere near any part of the government other than toilet scrubber or jizz sponger-upper.

        • marxalot

          I’m assuming that most postal administrators are leftovers from… hell, possibly the 90s, let’s be real. Normal civil service careers last for 30 years.

    • Toledo Window Box

      She’s extremely smart, has great judgment, and has the exact perfect temperament for the job.

      • Marion in Savannah

        And knows fuckall about how Washington works. (And please not to be telling me that that’s in her favor.)

        • Toledo Window Box

          I wouldn’t. But I think her intrinsic wisdom and brilliance would be enough to result in a successful Presidency.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Let her try the Congress or the Senate first. Now THERE I would support her bid wholeheartedly.

          • Toledo Window Box

            Fair enough.

    • proudgrampa

      I’m good with what you say. Electing people with NO experience in government or politics is a really bad idea.

      Did I mention that electing people with NO experience in government or politics is a REALLY BAD IDEA?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Yes, but it can’t be said often enough. So please feel free to say it again.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          I’ll say it but in a different way:

          Celebrities: At least run for local dog catcher before jumping your asses into national level politics. Having to deal with a public who may not be you personal fanclub will do you and the nation good.

        • proudgrampa

          Have I mentioned that electing people with NO experience in government or politics is a REALLY BAD IDEA?

          • Marion in Savannah

            PREACH, grampa!

          • Parakeetist

            SOOOO MANY TIMES

          • proudgrampa

            Well, I wasn’t sure…

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Is it a good idea to elect people with no experience in government or politics? I’m confused on that point.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Either, maybe. Asking that someone has worked at least tangentially in government or government-related service isn’t asking too much, is it? As for politics, just as a matter of survival, I think it’s a good idea to know how politicking works.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            I’m done with amateur hour after baby fingers

        • proudgrampa

          You might want to consider NOT electing people with no experience in government or politics…

        • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

          The answer may surprise you: It turns out that it is a REALLY BAD IDEA!

          • BreakingDeadMen

            You don’t say!

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        But we just elected someone with no experience in human emotions! BOTH SIDES DO IT!!111

      • Parakeetist

        Al Franken did okay until they fucked him over.

        • proudgrampa

          True dat.

    • Parakeetist

      Wouldn’t call you a racist, you just suddenly seem to have way too high an opinion of yourself.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      No no…it’s not racist to want someone better qualified…

  • Joe Beese
    • Ling Ling

      I wish there were more Pipers (said the Piper owner).

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Concur, said the Piper renter… (whatcha got? Cherokee? Saratoga?)

    • marxalot

      What a good dog.

    • Fartknocker

      Thanks for sharing. We all need a Piper.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      No, I’m not crying…I’m just chopping onions…in bed…at 5:45am…

  • JMP

    It’s a nice of Alex Jones to respect the classics, bringing back the original blood libel by accusing a Jewish journalist or drinking the blood of Christian children.

  • Nounverb911
    • Damn, the Conspiracy is broader than we thought!

    • calliecallie
      • The Wanderer

        Governor (p)Rick Scott will be delivering his State of the State Address tomorrow.

        • Nounverb911

          “My fellow Floridaites, the state of Florida is in Florida.”
          –Rick Scott

          • The Wanderer

            For added funsies, the departure of Sen. Latvala for naughtiness is causing a bit of a power struggle in the state Senate, ginger-haired asshole Adam Putnam is running for Governor, and although we legalized medical marijuana, Deputy US AG Rosenstein sez “Not so fast, Florida.”

    • Toledo Window Box

      World tells Donald: Fuck Off

  • canes_pugnaces

    Trump v. Oprah. I’m laying off the booze, I’m starting to hallucinate.

  • Nounverb911
    • willi0000000

      looks to me like he solidified the idea of mocking a celeb running for president . . . after this shitshow anyone who doesn’t mock a celeb* running for president might just find themselves being mocked.

      * unless said celeb has years of experience in governing

  • wait! what?

    Speaking of faith:

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/trump-spiritual-adviser-warns-followers-of-consequences-if-they-dont-send-her-up-to-a-months-salary/

    “Trump spiritual adviser warns followers of ‘consequences’ if they don’t send her up to a month’s salary”

    • The Wanderer

      Wow, that’s a blatant grift. Some of the fools who follow her will pay up, though.

    • TJ Barke
    • Doug Langley

      I’m trying really, really hard to be surprised by this.

    • georgiaburning

      Can’t God create money out of nothing and provide for her? She will need a bitcoin account.

      • willi0000000

        omniscient and omnipotent . . . always needs a handout.

        [ what’s wrong with this picture? ]

        • georgiaburning

          That’s the logic that faith tries to overcome. Stop that, now.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      “You gotta have faith.” –George Michael–

  • calliecallie

    “…the Deep State is doing Snow White poisons to Donald Trump by putting roofies in the 12 Diet Cokes he drinks a day.”

    This would explain a lot. Just saying.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Only the kiss of Erik Prince can awaken him.

  • marxalot

    Oprah-ism is a perfectly mainstream religion.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Or will be in a thousand years.

  • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

    That Oprah running for President joke sure did get out of hand with a quickness.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Not a joke.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Not intentionally, anyway.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        I read on Wonkette this morning that it all started because of a Seth Meyers joke, and then NBC tweeted a joke about it. Did Wonkette get it wrong?

  • Zonath

    In other news, Rick Perry’s plan to subsidize coal and nuclear power by causing everyone to pay more for power nixed by agency he probably forgot the name of.

    http://thehill.com/energy-environment/367983-regulators-kill-perrys-proposal-to-prop-up-coal-nuclear-power-plants

    • Toledo Window Box

      Oops.

    • willi0000000

      lovely article just below that one you cited . . . someone projected “fuck trump” on the front wall of Mercedes Benz stadium.

  • Michael Smith
  • Nounverb911

    No wonder he wanted to get rid of net-neutrality….
    https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/950481850006458370

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Shouldn’t the right push internet “access” like they push medical insurance “access”?

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      ‘Good news, you’ll have gigabit Internet! Bad news, it only connects to my Twitter feed.’

    • Kateaux

      For some inexplicable reason, I am skeptical about this.

  • Crystalclear12

    Analyzing Alex Jones is like analyzing belly button lint, it stinks and serves no purpose.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, for fuck’s sake, not this shit again:

    https://twitter.com/nytopinion/status/950469938208264193

    • Toledo Window Box

      Most of us voted against him, but I guess we don’t matter any more.

    • OrG

      STILL?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Always that shit again and again and again and again, ad nauseum and ad infinitum. Because it’s the people who voted for the guy who lost the popular vote that we all have to worry about. And the stupider they are the better.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Here I’ll save the NYT and its readers some time:

      Trump supporter: I know he’s a fat moron and pathological liar who is objectively bad for the county. But emails, uranium and dark people.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Rest of the world: PLEASE SHUT UP, KTHXBAI

    • CripesAmighty

      No, we wouldn’t. I think the ‘tractor pull sage’ trope is about done, yes?

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Hey, NYT, here’s an Opinion: you are bad at your job. And rather stupid.

    • JMP

      You’ve already given a glowing profile to every one of those deplorable racist shits, Times; that’s why I for one will never, ever spend money on your worthless right-wing rag.

      • TJ Barke

        Even if they aren’t racist, they’re ignorant morons.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      “Did you vote for Donald Trump for President?

      Then SIT THE FUCK DOWN. We’re sick of your shit.”

    • OrG

      Hey, look at it this way – maybe another nazi looses his job.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        That’s a lot of trees to murder for one unemployed Nazi.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      have we not ALREADY HEARD ENOUGH FROM THEM!

      fucking shit.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      Oh, do they finally have a basket to put them all in, or something?

      AND THEN LAUNCH INTO THE SUN?

      Otherwise, GTFO NYT

    • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

      I can only respond to:
      “Did you vote for Hillary in spite of our constant trashing of her?”

  • Nounverb911
  • arglebargle

    Has anyone posted this yet today? I’ve had to spend way to much time at work working today. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/737cb567d810fa90bd6804c87405ff74af72cc74f968c211ee85013786ccde32.jpg

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “….is a top globalist, a top eugenicist, who pushes a one world religion…”
    Doesn’t this sentence describe every right wing, take their oil, white power, christianist in the U.S.?

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Exactly. They don’t want the competition.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Of course not, since they’re really not any good at it.

    • JMP

      Not to mention that the idea of a “one world religion” really got started by a group called, oh what is it, Christians – that’s why as soon as they got power, they started using it to persecute all non-Christians, as well as all Christians who had slightly different views on dogma than the Christians who ran the Roman Empire, starting a form of religious oppression that was mostly unprecedented.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Manifest Destiny libel!….

      • Lascauxcaveman

        As a lapsed Catholic, I like to remind people the the word ‘catholic’ translates into ‘universal’ more or less.

      • willi0000000

        i just love the story that The Pilgrims™ came to The New World™ to escape persecution . . . they came here so they could be the ones doing the persecuting.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      It’s always projection with these assholes.I wish their supporters could figure that out.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • BigCSouthside

      Tom Steyer: Sheldon Adelson or Robert Mercer, but not a soulless evil cocksucker from right wing hell

    • Toledo Window Box

      Holy crap – 30 million bucks! Thank you, Mr. Steyer.

    • CripesAmighty

      Good job, Tom.

    • yyyaz

      Good, but keep in mind that the Koch network is budgeting $300-400 mil for this year’s RWNJ roundup.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I’m guessing the dollars go further when you’re trying to convince people to vote against the guy who wants to blow up the whole world.

        • OrG

          Not to mention that people actually LIKE your ideas when they know what they are.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          I hope so.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        (Gets out wallet, digs around, plunks down $5. Will this do it?)

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        All the more reason to stay active!

    • Scooby

      What, is he trying to replace George Soros?

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    Finishing with Alex Jones.
    Damn you, Evan!

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler
    • Fartknocker
      • Angela Ruzzo

        Amen, Sister!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I thought Wonder Woman was pretty good, for a comic-book based superhero movie. But it had the disadvantage of being a comic-book superhero movie.

      So, I’m sort of with Dan, here.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Yeah the last comic book movie to be nominated was The Dark Knight, and that had way more going for it than Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman was very good, but anything is good when its immediate comparison is Batman v. Superman.

  • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

    This should go well. Milo Yianno-Hanrahan to represent self in lawsuit against S&S…
    http://www.joemygod.com/2018/01/08/milo-dumped-lawyers-suit-publisher/

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Ah, pro se. Will Milo bring his own soapbox, or does he expect the court to provide him with one?

      • weejee

        Perhaps not quite so pro, but with a lot of say.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      We should have Wonkette live blog that comedy!

    • JMP

      Is he so stupid and self-important that he thinks he can actually do a good job representing himself (something even actual lawyers, including the best of them, can’t do), or is no decent attorney willing to represent the shithead because he has no case?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        The answer is “no decent attorney is willing to represent the shithead” whether he has a case or not.

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        His lawyers dumped him, I assume for being a pain-in-the-ass diva. Now Milo won’t have to worry about anyone blocking his close-ups in court…

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        Looks like he’s getting legal advice from Dunning, Kreuger LLP

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      You know what they say about that.

      • Kateaux

        Yep. And the funny thing is, they usually leave off the second half of it. The whole saying goes, “A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client, and an ass for an attorney.” Seems to fit Milo, yes?

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          In entirety, yes. Supposedly the Mercers have knocked him off the payroll. So this could be his latest attempt at a payday. I did love the Editor’s margin comments though.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Never thought I’d be nostalgic for this FFS:

    https://twitter.com/Amy_Siskind/status/950410679739146240

    • Timothy Watson

      Worth noting that Quayle endorsed the Donald.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Of course he did, he is an idiot after all.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      There was more dirt under that spud….

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I mean, I think if Oprah ran for President we’d find things in her past to dislike, and I don’t think she’d be the perfect paragon of progressivism. But if she doesn’t have Alex Jones’s endorsement, that’s kind of a plus in my book.

  • thewalkindude
  • Scooby

    Is this who we are now Oprah v. Kid Rock for president?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Yes. I’m thinking of suing my great-great grandparents for emigrating to this country and forcing me to endure this bullshit. But they’re dead, so I can’t sue them, how sneaky is that??

      • Scooby

        Should have stayed in Italy.

        • Vienna Woods

          My forebears were quite right to head north after the Revolution.

          • Scooby

            You are right. I did a year contract in Austria. I’ve been trying ever since to get reassigned back there.

  • memzilla Ω

    White House says Dolt 45’s physical won’t include psychiatric examination.

    There’s certainly no need for that in a 71-year-old man whose father had Alzheimer’s…

    • Toledo Window Box

      You’re repeating yourself, just like the dotard. (-;

    • ariel_gee_398

      My mother, who is his age, has no family history of dementia but still gets dementia checks at her physical and has for the past few years. Isn’t it bad doctoring not to?

  • Shan

    I suppose “I’m on Executive Time” t-shirts are going to be coming out soon.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Just think, if they sell, someone will be sued by President executive time himself. That would be fun.

    • wait! what?

      Now, you can’t expect to figure out how to be cool watching CNN, so forget about it.
      You’ve gotta do it the old-fashioned way…fake it!

      Yeah!
      Play your drum Sarah!

      I like tweeting
      The lying really gets to me
      I can’t control it
      My fingers move automatically

  • Nounverb911
    • wait! what?

      I’m sure they both would sacrifice as many lives as the could if we’d just give them the chance…

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Who the fuck is Hogan Gidley and why is he lecturing anybody about Javanka?

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        I can’t remember if he’s Senior Lickspittle In Chief, or the head of the Department of Dook Refinishers

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Someone is actually forced to go through life with the name Hogan Gidley? Poor man, we should cut him some slack.

      • Nounverb911

        He works for trump, so NO!

    • Doug Langley

      It’s true! Why, just think what a scandal it would have been if Sasha and Malia were trash-talked!

    • JMP

      They’re mere children in their mid-30s who constantly crave media attention and have made themselves into very public figures with great power in running the country, so it’s unfair to criticize them!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      WON’T ANYBODY THINK OF MELANIA????!!!!

      • vivian

        Who? … oh, right, #3.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Serving in unelected, unaccountable positions. You know, the sort of stuff that Saddam did with his boys.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Poors? Are they sacrificing poor people?

      • Crystalclear12

        Has anyone seen the staffers after they “quit”?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Assuming morals not in evidence. I would have said decency, but also assuming that which is not in evidence.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Wife and I were just talking about Oprah running in 2020. I’ve always been kinda indifferent to her but would support her and that speech was fucking awesome.

    I’m cool with Oprah in 2020. Actually, I’d still vote for Stevie Nick’s shawl over Trump in 2020, but still…

    • OutOfOrbit

      Hum…I have heard she treats her employees like a terror tyrant from hell

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I can think of several people I’d rather see than her, but if she’s the nominee I’ll work for her. Really hope we get someone with governing experience, however.

      • JMP

        I’d rather see someone with experience, and who doesn’t try to convince sick people to let themselves die by using snake oil instead of legitimate medicine.

        • CripesAmighty

          (Addendum to previous) And, NO. WOO. PEOPLE. please. Thankyouverymuch.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Agreed but Obama had little experience himself and he worked out pretty well. I want a president who will motivate people, bring, or at least try to bring us together, talk about what’s good in America, etc. instead of a person who talks about why we should sleep afraid at night worrying about MS-13.

        • hudson

          but obama had a solid foundation in law and legislative process, and a bowl of sharp and inquisitive brains on this head.

          • Juan de Fuca

            And I could easily play devil’s advocate on that one but I won’t. Because I love the man. She’s every bit as sharp and inquisitive.

          • marxalot

            But neither a constitutional scholar nor someone with a career in civil service.
            MID LEVEL POSTAL OFFICIAL FOR PRESIDENT

          • Juan de Fuca

            I think I got the point. Wonkette is not for Team Oprah 2020. We gonna keep piling on here or should I just keep my ‘pinions to myself?

          • hudson

            so first time i came across obama was during lifting of nuclear sanctions under bush. he asked the hardest and most important of questions.

            he didn’t have executive experience. that i give. but did it ever come out that he lacked it even for a single day?

            please don’t compare obama to oprah. different leagues.

      • Rags

        Just what we need – another President without critical thinking skills. Atheism, anti vaxx, woo up the wahoo, – no thanks.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Speaking as a cradle Episcopalian, choir member, and Lay Eucharistic Minister I have NO problem at all with her being an atheist. Or a Wiccan. Or a Jew. Or a Hindu. Or a Muslim. Or a Sikh. Or a worshiper of the FSM. HOWEVER the rest of that shit makes me crazy. So, NO THANKS. No thanks at all.

          • Rags

            She is not an atheist. She is anti -atheist, so she loses on all counts.

      • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

        YES. Haven’t we all learned not to vote for celebrities to be president by now?

      • bupkus231

        “….but if she’s the nominee I’ll work for her”

        I may be yurking into my sleeve – but anything would be better than another fucking Republican, and even Oprah as a Democrat would have a better chance of winning than any third party ( yeah, you , Jill Stein – you have never had a chance )

    • CripesAmighty

      (Reposted)
      Thx, but, NO. MORE. TV. PEOPLE.
      Can we hire somebody who knows just a little bit of what the fuck they’re doing? How ’bout it, Howard?

    • Ling Ling

      AntiVaxxer. No way.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I’m not ready for Surgeon General Oz. Or another personality cult. Sure, I’d vote for her, just like I’d vote Satan (D) at this point. But I’d rather see an actual politician. I could support Oprah for Congress, but not POTUS.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I wouldn’t mind Oprah as head of state, but she’s completely unqualified to run the government, and as long as our system requires that both those jobs be done by the same person, I say a hearty fuck no to President Oprah.

  • TJ Barke

    Hope I die soon. I can’t deal with this stupid shit anymore…

    • bupkus231

      I’m sorry to say I agree with you, TJ….

    • Marion in Savannah

      You and me both, TJ. You and me both.

  • Anna Rompage

    If Oprah runs for President, there’s a free car for anyone who votes for her!

  • William

    I don’t like Alex Jones because no matter what gif or meme I post, he will immediately make himself look more foolish than anyone else could on their best day. https://youtu.be/9kAEoCHANYY

  • Nounverb911
    • It’s a DEMONCRAT CUNSPEERISSY!!!1!ONE

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Good thread on Mueller questioning Donald:

    https://twitter.com/renato_mariotti/status/950471118225399808

  • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

    A Wrinkle in Time isn’t a fucking new age anything. It’s Christian, even if it’s not the “right” kind.

    • bupkus231

      The book was written in 1962, when new age hadn’t even been invented yet!

      • Bobathonic

        Damn that Obama and his time machine!

      • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

        Alex Jones’ audience doesn’t do books.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          It barely does words.

  • cmd resistor

    So there’s this goofy little GIF in the CNN Trump live updates of the day. Trump is walking down the steps of AF-1 in what appears to be rain because he is holding an umbrella over his fat self. He stops at least once to wave at the crowd. There’s some unfortunate guy walking behind him with no umbrella who has to wait for him to wave and get wet. Maybe it’s Bob Corker but I’m not sure. http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/08/politics/trump-latest/index.html

    • TJ Barke

      Whoever it is, they probably deserve it.

      • cmd resistor

        In other pieces, I see Corker was there so it was probably him. Then I found local TV footage of the whole descent. He only stopped that one time but took his time going down and there were a slew of people w/o rain protection walking behind him..

    • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

      He also probably let loose some McDonald’s farts on the way down.
      (Ewwww….grossed myself out!)

  • bupkus231

    Is Executive Time anything like beer-thirty?

    • William

      More like sitting in front of the tube, farting into the couch cushion and tweeting about everything you see on Faux and Fiends.

      • Bobathonic

        And then at 11, Nanny puts the sides of the playpen down and he can go to “work”.

    • Nounverb911

      More like cheesebuger-thirty.

    • wait! what?

      The scientific term is refractory period…

      • bupkus231

        Hey, I like that. I can say it’s time to get refractory when I want another beer!

    • Crystalclear12

      No, no good, honest drinking involved with him, remember?
      He is this way stone cold sober.

      • bupkus231

        To tell your the truth, I wasn’t even considering Rump when I asked that – just responding to Evan using it to explain ending his “analysis” so soon….

        Let’s get Refractory! ( hmm – doesn’t ring like Prince’s Lets’ Get Crazy )

    • Edith Prickly, Stable Genius

      It’s sitting on the shitter while tweeting shit on the Twitter.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Someone stuff a corncob in Grassley’s mouth please.

    https://twitter.com/CraigCaplan/status/950483244977393665

  • Ryan Denniston

    We’re pro-eugenics now? Can we get the memos more constitently? Also I never got my Soros bucks.

  • ArgieBargie

    YOU GET A PRESIDENT, AND YOU GET A PRESIDENT! EVERYONE GETS A PRESIDENT.

    No, thanks.

    • puredog

      Just out of curiosity, what kind(s) of cars were they?

  • WIDTAP

    I particularly like the FU provided by Michael Wolff’s publisher in response to the demand that they preserve all records for possible legal action:

    “We must remind you that President Trump, in his personal and governmental capacity, must comply with the same legal obligations regarding himself,” McNamara said. “This would include any and all documents pertaining to any of the matters about which the book reports. Should you pursue litigation against Henry Holt or Mr. Wolff, we are quite confident that documents related to the contents of the book in the possession of President Trump, his family members, his businesses, his campaign, and his administration will prove particularly relevant to our defense.”

    Which is legalese for “Bring it, assholes.”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/367955-wolff-publisher-fires-back-fire-and-fury-publication-to-continue

  • greyXstar

    1. Yuck.

    2. Even joking about Oprah 2020 is dumb. No more celebrities please and thank you

    • Victoria Ricola

      Needz moar boring lawyer or boring professor.

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        How about boring community organiser?

        • Marion in Savannah

          [SOB] We can haz one of them again, PLEEZE?

        • WIDTAP

          How about boring community organizer’s wife, who is also a lawyer?

          • Marion in Savannah

            Works for me!

          • data_ninja

            Can they fight crime at night as a super hero?

        • puredog

          Or all three at once?

      • greyXstar

        I like boring. Boring can be good. I miss boring.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ling Ling

      Would you do it for a Klondike bar?

      • TJ Barke

        Not much. Now if it was a Heath Klondike Bar…

        • Marion in Savannah

          ERMAGHERD — Ben and Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream is worse than crack. And almost impossible to find down here any more… [sob]

          • puredog

            Try Chubby Hubby. That shit has a half-life of about five minutes in my house, which is why it never goes there any more.

          • Marion in Savannah

            We’ve recently discovered a Publix brand ice cream called “Chocolate Cherish Passion” that’s cherry ice cream with bits of chopped cherries, dark chocolate, and tiny dark chocolate cherry hearts. I figure by the end of this year I’ll probably weigh 987 pounds if I don’t stop, but it’s worse than crack.

        • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

          One of the greatest days of my life:
          The doctor bans Mr. Demme from having dairy.
          Now the ice cream will last more than a nano-second!
          (Bring on the Chunky Monkey!)

  • Nounverb911

    So high speed trains for the farmers, nothing for the crumbling subways in NYC.
    https://twitter.com/WestWingReport/status/950490088663896069

    • ariel_gee_398

      So miming firing a shotgun and talking about how you personally saved the Second Amendment is LESS bombastic?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Well…trump…you know?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, when the bar has been buried as deep as it has been…

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      The odd thing is, I’d vote for infrastructure improvement anywhere. If in rural areas, okay. That’s not ideal, but it’s a start.

      • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

        Trump’s idea of infrastructure improvement is to let a bunch of companies control that stretch of infrastructure, to maintain and charge tolls as they see fit.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Yup. But he REALLY blew it by not starting out his presidency by doing just that. Despite the whole thing being a boondoggle to further enrich his billionaire pals, he would have been hailed as ‘presidential’ and ‘helping the common man’ and ‘rebuilding America’ and he’d be seeing approval ratings at least double of what he has now.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          That’s true.

    • William

      Wow. When the best thing you can say about a chief executive is “less bombastic” the bar is really fucking low, isn’t it.

      • Nounverb911

        Could also mean he didn’t declare war on North Korea…

    • Fartknocker

      Wait until Farmer Brown looks at his tax bill in 2018 and wonders why many deductions either went away or are capped.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Trust me — he’ll blame the Democrats.

    • Crystalclear12

      He’s pivoting, right!?
      Gullible GOP jackasses across the land.

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        “Less bombastic”=“Presidental”

        • cmd resistor

          Or, drugged/medicated. I only saw a clip w/no sound so no voice impressions to add to my diagnosis.

          • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

            Oh, I wouldn’t be surprised. I’m just anticipating the MSM’s reaction to “more policy focused and less bombastic”

          • cmd resistor

            Of course it was scripted anyway.

    • ariel_gee_398

      He gave NY the honor of voting for him, just like Tennessee. It’s not his fault NY didnt take him up on the generous offer.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      policy focused….”It’s the pivot! IT FINALLY HAPP- oh wait he just tweeted something about his balls.”

  • Victoria Ricola

    This was the first I’ve heard of the Brian Stelter is “drunk on our children’s blood” thing and I can’t stop laughing.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    You get a chicken in your pot! And you get a chicken in your pot! Everybody gets a chicken in their pot!

  • SomeBigRedDog

    “She’s even got a new age movie coming out to brainwash the children.”

    Sorry Alex, I was already brainwashed by A Wrinkle In Time 30 years ago, long before I knew who Oprah was.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      50 here. Looking back, it was one of those books that sneaks into your head and sits there, subtly changing the way you look at the world. I wonder sometimes if my wish to actually meet Aunt Beast one day has something to do with my becoming a furry.

    • GoutMachine

      Yeah, based on a novel by a Christian author, no less…

  • mrFawkes

    I will take Jones’ sage advice and vote for the opposite of Oprah, which is Harpo, who we all know was the leader of the Marxist brothers.

    • Ling Ling

      You broke the code!

      • mrFawkes

        I’ve been staring dreamily at chemtrail clouds all day.

    • Nounverb911

      Groucho’s mustache libels!

  • JaveyDay
  • Nounverb911
    • cmd resistor

      Ooh, a new Trump pic to hate. Why do his cuffs always look funny?

      • puredog

        Who kmew that cufflinks were so complicated?

  • wait! what?

    “A former National Park Service official who improperly helped Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder cut down more than 130 trees to improve a river view at his Potomac, Md., estate has been chosen by the Trump administration to be one of the agency’s highest-ranking leaders.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/energy-environment/wp/2018/01/06/official-who-improperly-helped-redskins-owner-cut-down-trees-picked-as-national-park-service-deputy-director/?utm_term=.a0c840559896

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Because of course.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, who then?

  • spangled

    i made a resolution to not get mad about vague hypotheticals. it is silly to waste time and emotional energy getting worked up about something that isn’t for sure happening. especially when there is plenty of shit that IS happening right now to get outraged about.

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      THANK YOU.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Truth: I just want someone with actual policy experience?

    Please, America?

    • mancityRed6

      or at least the intelligence to pick the right people who do

      • Marion in Savannah

        I’D REALLY LURVE BOT,K!

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Yes Oprah! Please use your voice and position of power to do everything you can to elect a President the opposite of this one: someone with intelligence, tact, respect for our institutions, empathy, and experience in government!
    If you want something more than this, please go away.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    this fit into the last thread better, but all the cool kids are here.

    So, ask yourselves how right-wingers, like alex jones (RELEVANCE!) would react to this scenario:

    Federal appellate case involving two guys charged with intefering with a flight crew by using intimidation. Turns out it’s a bunch of christians on a plane being loud obnoxious and threatening, but they’re iraqi and syrian christians, the first few pages are zany:

    http://www.ca5.uscourts.gov/opinions/pub/16/16-11631-CR0.pdf
    “One man asked about alcohol, and Shaker demanded some as well by saying, “Bring us some alcohol.” Clark refused, saying she would not serve them alcohol on the flight. She claimed at trial that she was afraid alcohol would escalate the situation because the group was already boisterous and somewhat noncompliant.

    Several members of the group immediately protested Clark’s refusal. Shaker said, “We can have whatever we want.” He started to rise from his seat toward Clark but got caught in his seatbelt. Petras added, “We can have whatever the fuck we want, and we’ll do whatever to get what we want.” Petras “slammed” his armrest and tray table up and “lunged” at Clark. Petras was “most of the way” from his seat, and his face “was even” with Clark’s. Clark was afraid of being hurt and hurried away to find flight attendant Jamie Ber-gen in the front of the cabin.
    ….
    Rouch responded that she did not know and would talk to Clark, but she would not serve them alcohol either. The men immediately protested. Shaker said, “You can’t tell us no . . . This is America . . . You can’t do that” and rose out of his seat, pointing at her. Rouch told them to “tone it down,” but Petras responded that she was a “racist.” Feeling “stunned,” Rouch walked away and heard Petras again call her a “racist pig” as she left.

    Bergen (the female pilot-DST) approached the group again and informed them that a passenger had confirmed that they had used inappropriate language. Shaker again rose out of his seat, saying, “Who was saying that; I want to talk to them . . . . You can’t talk to me this way. I’m a United States fucking citizen. You won’t disrespect me. Not even my mom disrespects me.” Bergen described Shaker as “lung[ing] towards” her and un-able to get out of his seat because of his seatbelt; she was “worried about him trying to get a hold of [her].” Again, Bergen returned to the front of the aircraft; at this point, the crew began looking for cities to which divert the flight.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Someone’s feeling insecure (more so), eh?

    https://twitter.com/HawaiiDelilah/status/950485278250151937

    • Ling Ling

      Wow.

    • William
    • cmd resistor

      They did say this was supposedly delivered as a joke…..

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Did Donnie know it was a joke?

        • cmd resistor

          Actually they said people laughed, so who knows. Even if it was, not particularly amusing.

      • Daniel

        The problem is he doesn’t understand how jokes work or what makes things that are not cruelty funny.

    • Victoria Ricola

      He is everything that is unpleasant.

    • hudson

      “You are so lucky that I gave you that privilege.”

      wow!! i’ve followed politics of a few countries. i have never heard even actual dictators and tin-pots ever say this.

      • Daniel

        Even Milos Zemen just replaced the entire senate with a party named after himself.

        • puredog

          “Miles of Semen”? It does rather have a ring to it.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And how much you wanna bet those yokels ate that shit up? Obama and Hillary used their gay sharia law to take their White Right privileges away for 8 long years.

    • Ellie

      I wasn’t aware The Abominable Showman was responsible for universal suffrage.

  • Jenny

    I wrote executive time in the shared calendar at work from 2-4. My boss didn’t appreciate it. Because he’s the executive around here!!

    I am learning that my new job entails a lot of “executive time,” in general. Now I know why my new section always seemed much happier than everyone else in the division meetings. It’s because they are!

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      Self important little shitbag.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Self important little shitbag.

    • wait! what?

      So, when Twitter says they don’t allow comments, they’re serious?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Isn’t there some alt-reich version of twitter on the intertubes he join to spread his vitriol, Twatters or something like that? Something something free market, how does it go?

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Gab or something like that, but they dont like it because they can’t harass anyone.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          They can harass themselves? Oh, yeah, to be subjected to harassment themselves would be TRANNY!!!!!!1!111

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            But then they can’t scream “help, help, we are being oppressed”.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Right – a judge is going to declare Twitter part of the government and thus subject to the First Amendment.
      Look, Chuckles, just because Donnie Two Scoops uses Twitter as his press organ doesn’t make it an arm of the Executive Branch.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i posted it last thread – but white male douchebro sued google today too – alleging they were intolerant of white male douchebros (which they are legally entitled to be).

    • mancityRed6

      this is what happens when you don’t read the terms and conditions.
      or just plain stupid.
      or both.

    • CripesAmighty

      Now the turd deposits move from the dorm room to the courtroom.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Either Twitter still has more money than Croesus, and will crush him, or they have run out of money, and are effectively judgement-proof.

      Way to pick your battles, Chuck.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Sheepshagger

      Being a rich black lady seems pretty impressive in America.

    • proudgrampa

      “Policies? We don’ got to show you no steenkin’ policies!”

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, did we ever get any REAL policies out of Trump? STFU and sit the fuck down until you can tell me why there’s any difference. (I do NOT support Oprah doing pretty much of anything, and her most recent TV commercials for whatever diet program it is send me diving for the MUTE button, but at least she’s not actively supporting killing children and old people.) But she’s still responsible for Dr. Phil…

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Policies lost in 2016. Americans want insults and tantrums.

  • “I have always broken down the fact that Oprah Winfrey is a top globalist…”

    That would be Golden Globalist, chump.

    a top eugenicist

    Phhpt. We all know the Eugenics War took place in the Nineties. The last of them left Earth 19 years ago in the SS Botany Bay.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d86473650d871c7d08eb42e8bf09c9d157b7504d03420a7e92a37b84ba7dd153.jpg

    She’s even got a new age movie coming out to brainwash the children.”

    You mean as opposed to the Christian movie she was in this year?

  • William

    This just in. Breaking. Fire at Trump Tower identified as President’s pants http://newsthump.com/2018/01/08/fire-at-trump-tower-identified-as-presidents-pants/

    • Ling Ling

      Snicker. And I thought it was Russian agents destroying evidence.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        I thought they elected a new pope…

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Same difference.

  • Nounverb911
    • Sheepshagger

      Sheeeeeiit. I thought you meant the Police Commissioner from The Wire.

    • TJ Barke

      Gotta clear more space for the out and out nazis. Gotta let the party drift even further right…

      • Marion in Savannah

        Actually, this is pretty much what I tend to lose sleep over at night.

        • TJ Barke

          Yup.

    • Ling Ling

      Nunes…. take a note….

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • BadKitty904

      Who or what was he caught doing?

      • TJ Barke

        Nothing, just doesn’t want to take responsibility for the nazification of the republican party.

        • BadKitty904

          Or wants a good lobbyi$t job before they’re all snapped up by Repugs ousted in the 2018 elections.

          • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

            Ding, ding, ding!

          • BadKitty904

            It’s ALWAYS about $$$ with these guys…

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Too late for that. He just knows he can’t win the primary, let alone the general.

      • Brendan_M

        He was, and this is super gross, caught being a Republican in a CD that was +8 Clinton. What a pervert! No way he’d be reelected with that skeleton.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        “Fake Moos! No underage cows have come forward, therefore I am innocent.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Anyone from my hometown here? If so, important PSA:

    PA #Action The weather is warming up and we are ready to fight the good fight in this new year!
    Join us Tuesday at noon to urge Senator Toomey to support legislative efforts to restore net neutrality!

    MEET: At the Grant Building, 310 Grant Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15219, at noon!

    https://usatsteelerswire.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/tomlin-celebrates.gif?w=1000

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Do Trump stickers and truck nuts make people a bad driver or do bad drivers put Trump stickers and truck nuts on their trucks?

    • mancityRed6

      yes

      • Marion in Savannah

        Absolutely.

    • Crystalclear12

      I think it’s one of those chicken/egg things.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i wondered about a similar thing last week on the drive home from work during rush hour – does driving an F-150 make people assholes cause think they’re driving a tank with a jet engine, or do assholes buy tanks with jet engines?

      • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

        I wondered that back in the day when I saw Hummers sporting Schwarzenegger bumper stickers.

  • BadKitty904

    Porcine bigot says what?

    • Daniel

      Pigots.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      pigs are smart, tasty and cute most of the time. let us not confuse pigs with what Alex Jones is.

      • willi0000000

        don’t care how smart . . . and as much as i like bacon i’ve never thought of it as “cute.”

        • Ling Ling

          When I was an undergrad, we had a neighborhood pig. It belonged to someone, but was free to wander and was a great pet.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          that’s because you don’t slaughter Babe for your bacon.

          • willi0000000

            another good reason not to make them pets.

        • puredog

          As with other meat products, how cute it is depends entirely on how you wear it.
          https://gloimg.gamcdn.com/G/pdm-product-pic/Clothing/2017/12/18/source-img/20171218172310_94935.jpg

        • weighmaster

          Not bacon, but piglets are quite cute.

          • willi0000000

            in blankets?

  • Nounverb911

    Please use the proper descriptor when you tweet.

    https://twitter.com/MerriamWebster/status/950394526627221506

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I can’t read that but is that the trial where he said his net worth is based on his feelings?

    • BadKitty904

      Psychopaths gonna psycho.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Bigly the best perjurer. Everybody says so.

  • Nounverb911
    • Carpe Vagenda

      That last line is a triple redundancy.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        But decent scansion.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Decent, nay excellent,scansion. Anybody who can do this on the fly has my admiration. And, btw, note that lines 1, 2 and 5, being masculine rhymes, are balanced by feminine rhymes in lines 3 and 4.

          (If 1, 2 and 5 were masculine, 3 and 4 would have to be feminine, according to strict rules of limericking, although Dr. Lear himself didn’t observe these rules and, indeed, most of his limericks are lame, lame, lame, since 1 and 5 were identical.)

          Possibly a less-redundant rewrite might be:

          “Doc Phil, crappy diets and Oz.”

          But there may still be some redundancy there.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          which is important.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Alex Jones really has quite the sweet gig going, selling placebos to fuckheads.

    • Ling Ling

      I frequently wonder if I should learn from Alex Jones rather than mock.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I was designed (1) to use my Electrical Wizard Face (2) to be able to do heavy mathematical stuff with computers for aerospace and a few other fields. This makes me a LOSER who has absolutely no chance of becoming president. I am an unfortunate mathtard and Jebus weeps for me every day. This conclusion is based on my very own break down.

    The doc told me that if I behave and take my drugs when asked and eat when it’s time and attend the group sessions and stay out of places where I shouldn’t go and avoid trying to convert other people into Quaternionism (3), I might be able to go home in a few months and run for president. I need to run back to my room now before somebody catches me on the computer here in the office.

    Notes:
    1. By myself, of course.
    2. Alleged.
    3. Religion worshiping quaternions.

    • proudgrampa

      I loves me some obscure Pynchon references!

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      why aren’t you typing this message into a Tweet Storm from the Ivory Throne Room?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        The Throne is getting snaked.

        Again.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          you could always sit on the urinal or sink.

    • bobbert

      I gauss I see what you did there.

    • PubOption

      That photo shows an electrical wizard face.

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    *makes The Executive Hand Motion*

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    Alex Jones: a man who got lost in the AFL-CIO’s parking lot trying to find the court house (what was in his rearview mirror) because he was high on chili or something because he is very bad at Texas. I bet there were beans in his chili also too.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Chili makes him forget things.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        and jalapenos make him cough. like I said: he is very bad at Texas.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          That is because they dont use enough trucker speed and use too much chemtrails in the jalapeños and chili.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            or he is just very bad at Texas.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            To be fair he is bad at being a human also too.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            we’ve got plenty of those and they don’t fall asleep after a bowl of chili or start hacking up a lung after a jalapeno.

  • William
  • Nounverb911
  • Carpe Vagenda

    You know what? I’m going to let the right explain why they don’t want President Oprah for a while.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I found out the hard way down below there are plenty on the left who sure as hell don’t. But at least for legitimate reasons.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        I dont because we need a president with actual government experience and not just being a business person. If she wanted to run for congress or state government first then run for president I would be fine with it.

        • Juan de Fuca

          And that’s a good point. Just saying that if she somehow ended up with the nomination in 2020 and she’s running against Trump?

          Oh, fuck yeah. In a heartbeat.

          A point that was missed by some in my comment down below.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            If she was running against Trump I would vote for her in a second especially if she had a strong VP with a strong support staff. She wouldn’t be my first choice though but Trump is a hell of a lot worse.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        There’s stuff I like about her and stuff I don’t. If Oprah wins the nomination, I would cheerfully vote for her. Hell, if I knew what her political positions were, I might even happily support her. Obama was to the right of where I wished he was, and I peacefully voted for him in two elections.

        But this thing? Is turning into a nasty Rorschach test on the right and alt-left, and I’m super comfortable with letting them get their yayas out without my participation.

        • Juan de Fuca

          I never say this but – agreed on everything. Well, I sometimes say “agreed” but not “agree with everything you just said.” In this instance, I agree with everything you just said. I’m pulling my toes out of the water because that stuff has a really low pH.

    • hudson

      ya. whose father’s goes what?
      i’ll get popcorn, you want some?

      • proudgrampa

        Extra butter on mine, please.

  • Crystalclear12

    On the Oprah thing I would like to point out, we are not like Republicans we have several good candidates that are capable and qualified to run for office.
    We do not need to go the As Seen on TV route

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      also too: we have many elections between now and the 2020 presidential primaries which is why I’m in the tank for Lorax 2020.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And we haven’t gotten to the point where we think being “sane”, connected to reality and reasonably educated are bad qualities for politicians to have.

  • wait! what?
  • Indiepalin

    Oprah Winfrey – Ru Paul 2020

  • nightmoth

    I still say that the poor dumb redneck from North Carolina who drove to D.C. with his rifle and tried to “free the child sex slaves” should NOT be in jail. This humanoid Jones thing who put the idea in his head is the one who should be in jail.

    • TJ Barke

      Cernovich too.

      • Anna Rompage

        Add little Dicky Spencer to the group, and make it a no holds barred cage match!

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Who is that twitting idiot lady who keeps pushing the pizza gate thing now? She can go with them.

    • OrG

      Both.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      You make sense. Anyone who sincerely believed that children were being enslaved in a known location and did nothing are monsters.

    • nosuchuser

      You would think that RWNJ luminaries like Jones, Corsi, Hannity, Derpovitch, et al would have legal exposure under the Vicarious Liability(1) doctrine…

      1) This was used to wipe out Tom Metzger after a couple of his dip shits murdered an Ethiopian man.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicarious_liability

      • nightmoth

        I did not know about this Vicarious Liability doctrine and now I like it very much. Where do I go to get it aimed at these assholes?

        • nosuchuser

          I wish I knew.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Does “executive time” require pants? Asking for a friend …

    • Mehmeisterjr

      This is another area in which the Trump Regime is ignoring the previous norms.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I think you can get away with not wearing pants when you are president as long as your sitting at a desk.

    • Nounverb911
  • Picabo

    “A high school student who wrote to Gov. Paul LePage because she was concerned about the loss of net neutrality.”

    “She wrote, “The internet is the easiest way to access anything. News, information, etc. Companies being able to put restrictions on internet usage isn’t ideal! People will be left in the dark about some things. All my school work is internet-based, but what happens if I can’t reach what I need to? What about my lessons in school?”

    About a month after Osgood emailed LePage, she received a response: a copy of her letter with a message handwritten in the white space below it that read: “Hope. Pick up a book and read! Governor.”

    “Osgood showed the letter to her grandfather, Rick Osgood, a LePage supporter who didn’t like the tone of the governor’s response.
    Rick Osgood has voted for LePage twice and supports much of what the governor is doing in Maine, but he called LePage’s message “just a snide remark.”
    “I think it’s mighty rude,” he said.”
    “I voted for him, but I shan’t again,” he said. “If he decides to run for the Senate, he has one less vote.”

    http://www.pressherald.com/2018/01/02/gov-lepage-gives-snarky-response-to-students-concerns-about-net-neutrality/

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      What, LePage couldn’t find any puppies to kick or lollipops to steal so he decided to punch down at a teenager?

    • hudson

      wow #2 of the day.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      You can read books over the internet now, asshole.

      This is really why we can’t have nice things.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      “Did their behavior affect me, personally?”

      What it takes for an R to change his mind.

  • William
    • WotsAllThisThen

      250? He wishes!

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        “Pff, you’re hysterical! That’s just what his huge enormous strong manly hands weigh, each!”

        –Stephen Miller

    • Nounverb911

      400 pounds!

    • hudson

      lol.

    • puredog

      Is there a version of this regimen that works more quickly?

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    You can’t visit the US, however, if you want to, you can pay a non-refundable fee again and we’ll say the same thing over and over again as long as you keep paying the non-refundable fee.

    https://twitter.com/es_arman/status/950301036245381120

  • Me The People

    Trump is going to have to arrange another of his grotesque oval office grovelling sessions, this time his entire cabinet will be forced to come up with something about how amazingly stable and genius-like he is, and way better than that over-rated Oprah Winfrey.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • La forza del resistino

    Donald kicks his Fake News awards show 10 days and I’m now on the hook for a tuxedo rental for tonight.

    • proudgrampa

      Gives me 10 extra days to get the mothball smell out…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      IK,R? I made that one snarky non-comment six months ago, and the White House switchboard won’t even tell me whether it’s been nominated!

  • William
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Shouldn’t his pants be o fire, too?

  • wobbly

    Off topic, but Trump is going to revoke “Temporary Protected Status” for about 200,000
    El Salvadorans living in this country. As he did for the Haitians, and the Nicaraguans…

    Doesn’t matter if they have been working hard and paying taxes for 17 years. Doesn’t matter that they have children born here-American citizens-and American citizen spouses.

    I know I am a fool for spending part of my Social Security pittance on a NYTimes subscription, but I do. What shocked me the most about this story is the number of commenters who said this was a good thing!

    Jesus Christ! If you not safe in the NYT comments line, where the hell are you safe?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      There are racist morans everywhere who just hate them because they are brown. The GOP has been spreading bullshit for years that its not the economically anxious white guys fault its those “others” to blame.

      http://www.azquotes.com/picture-quotes/quote-i-ll-tell-you-what-s-at-the-bottom-of-it-if-you-can-convince-the-lowest-white-man-he-lyndon-b-johnson-107-70-60.jpg

    • OrG

      Wonkette. We take the trash out.

      • wobbly

        I was joking about the safe space, but this move is really ugly. Maybe El Salvador has moved on from the ’80’s-from political violence to criminal violence-is there really a difference?

        Also, I wonder why Nicaragua, alone of the countries in Central America, has no problem with gang violence. Volcanos, earthquakes, yes… corruption as well-I’m looking at you, Daniel Ortega!-but there are not a whole lot of Nicaraguans here to deport.

    • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

      Forget it, Jake.
      It’s the New York Times.

  • OPRAH GONNA MURDER US WITH BLACK HELICOPTERS, BECAUSE THE UN AND ALSO SHE’S BLACK, BUY MY CAMO TAINT WIPES

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    person supposed to put a video up 15 minutes ago decided they needed to wait until 5:45. then I ask that it go up with MORE THAN AN HOUR for people to see it before the 7 pm event, they tell me it will be up at 6 pm sharp.

    I make spreadsheets.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      And you make lists.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        to be fair, I write things down and talk on the phone a lot also too.

  • wait! what?

    In not fake news…

    Animal abuse, and dad-son genital shamer, Dr Dobson wants people to starve themselves and hallucinate to save Donald from being impeached.

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/james-dobson-calls-for-a-day-of-fasting-and-prayer-to-protect-trump-from-impeachment/

  • SayItWithOtters

    LOL, a unanimous rejection of the “grid stability” plan that Bob Murray wrote on a napkin in crayon and passed to Glasses Perry. Who himself is so uneducated about his own Cabinet position that he was unaware there are other constituencies in the US power market besides one cranky geezer coal CEO.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/energy-environment/wp/2018/01/08/trump-appointed-regulators-reject-plan-to-rescue-coal-and-nuclear-plants/?utm_term=.b110b3172f3b

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Can’t wait to hear the excuses from the Deleted Commenters if this happens:

    https://twitter.com/matthewamiller/status/950493045102870535

    • OrG

      IOKIYAR

    • Miles Monroe

      SOMETHING SOMETHING EXECMATIVE PREVLAGE !!1!

    • Me The People

      Because it’s a witch hunt!

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      Esp. after America’s gov’t has been trashed by the Russians/Republicans?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Imagine the fast food wrappers she’d have to have removed.

      And the plumbing bills.

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • Rick Hill

    Why, oh, why can’t Hillary set her murder squads on the right folks who need murdereing?

    *This is, OBVIOUSLY not against any commenting rooles because of OBVIOUS reasons.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      This is not a threat

      • Rick Hill

        OBVIOUSLY not

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The proof that Hillary’s murder squads are real is the fact, my friends, that Dick Morris has been in his grave for 20 years now.

  • Raan

    So…has she actually been contemplating a run? Because all I’ve ever heard about it was an ending in The Boondocks.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6834a63426077725d5766b19ca877a5a758518ef4795d5a65cb5e074d9039d62.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Just curious–does anyone have a preference in the college football championship today? (I’m neutral, myself.)

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Gerogia. Because I’m sick and tired of Nick Saban complaining about every little damn thing even when he and his team shouldn’t even be in the playoff.

    • wait! what?
    • OrG

      There’s a football championship?

    • No, not really. I sort of hate them both equally.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        A meteor [of votes] would solve three of our problems.

      • amrak63

        I don’t hate or love either team, so mehZZZZZzzzz…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m boycotting because my alma mater is excluded for being, get this, a ‘Division III’ school. Whatever happened to democracy, people?!

    • Raan

      I don’t even know who’s playing.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Which teams’ QB has the nicest ass?

      Am I wrong to be sexually objectifying a FB player? I mean, if I said something about the cheerleaders with the biggest tits it’d be an insult, wouldn’t it? IDK.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    So here’s a weird thing…I just got a letter from Citi saying “Refund check is attached. We are providing a refund of $12.80 for certain fees previously billed to your account for a debt protection program offered by Citibank. You do not need to do anything in order to receive this refund. This refund is being issued as a result of an agreement between Citibank and certain of its subsidiaries and the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency. Under the agreement, Citibank is obligated to provide refunds to certain customers who enrolled in AccountCare, Balance Protector, Payment Safeguard, Credit Protector, Job Loss Protection or PaymentAid between January 1, 2003 and Dec 31, 2012.”

    Now here’s the weird part. I don’t have a Citi credit card. I never had a Citi credit card.

    • Was it a bank which got merged into Citi?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I don’t think so. I haven’t had credit cards for 12 years other than American Express, and the last ones I had were Chase and Capitol One, and neither of them merged with Citi.

        • Anna Rompage

          Might be worth checking out your credit report, just to make sure someone else didn’t open one in your name…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I did … nothing suspicious there. It would have had to have been between 2003 and 2012, and I check the credit bureaus once a year, I never saw anything about Citi. It’s too weird.

          • Unhappy Fingers

            Any chance of identity theft in the past?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            No, never, thank god. I am very vigilant and pro-active about that.

        • One of those credit protection plans might have been subcontracted, but outside of that, can’t think of any reason.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Well, I’m one of those people who checks every single line item on every single bill every month, including the utility bills, and I would have noticed a credit protection plan, which I would never sign up for. I have caught the phone/internet company playing games with my bills, but never anyone else.

          • bupkus231

            It was probably intended for an “Angela Rizzo”, and you just got their mail.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Hmm… at least you don’t think that you have one. Those credit card companies are pretty sneaky.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        No, I really don’t, I check my credit report once a year and there’s nothing there about Citi.

  • Me The People

    What’s the betting on Trump unloading on Oprah Winfrey in the morning rage-out?

    • Juan de Fuca

      “She was in one overrated movie and a losing television show that’s no longer on the air…”

  • Nounverb911
    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Ohhhh, future Madame Senator from Delaware and possibly future US President.

      Is it bad I’m crushing on Sarah McBride these days?

    • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

      Nice fake smile and fake teeth there.
      (Didn’t you know that I invented the word “fake?”)

      • bupkus231

        Hell, the whole picture seems fake. There’s no way Rump looks that good.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      Seems a LOT of people are afraid of her running for office.

      Hmm. I wonder why.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Jones didn’t bring up Oprah’s emails … so she’s safe.

  • WIDTAP

    If Tillerson goes, cancel your plans for that trip to Japan or to see the Olympic games in South Korea.

    http://www.businessinsider.com/tillerson-mattis-trump-north-korea-strike-2018-1

    • Nounverb911

      Oopsies, We’re planning on going to Japan in October…

    • yyyaz

      Upshot: Tillerson and Mattis are trying to keep Orangey McShitpants from pushing the button while McMaster is prodding him to just do it to give Kim a “bloody nose.” Fuuuck.

  • Anna Rompage

    Sweet little baby jeebus, if Alex keeps up on his BBQ, he’s gonna have to move up to a D-cup…..

    • bupkus231

      Move up???

  • amrak63

    RE: The top pic of Looney Tune Jones:

    https://i.imgur.com/SSa9QpW.jpg

  • Oops, apparently Milo’s case against his publisher has a snag. As in, “no lawyers.”

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Yeah, he’s taking the Teddy Bundy defense route.

  • amrak63

    Please Democrats, do NOT nominate Woo-prah.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Oprah has as much business running for president as Trump did…

    • Granny Sprinkles

      At least she is curious, articulate, literate, compassionate, thoughtful…

      • TJ Barke

        A big fan of woo…

        • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

          My otherwise intelligent, rational parents didn’t get their flu shots because they currently believe that flu shots are a Big Pharma conspiracy, thanks to Dr. Mercola, who they got into because of Dr. Oz.
          Guess who just texted me that they can’t make my daughter’s birthday party because they have the flu? I know the vaccine wasn’t perfect this year, but I still blame this woo bullshit.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I know three people in their 60’s who got the shot, and they all got a very bad case of flu. It definitely wasn’t perfect this year.

            I never get flu shots, and I never get the flu (knock on wood) but that’s because I’m a hermit. Actually, I did have the shot twice, many years ago, and both times I IMMEDIATELY got a severe case of flu. Yes, I know, they swear on stacks of holy books that this can’t happen, but it happened to me twice, so I’m never having that shot again.

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        A real billionaire

      • Jonny On Maui

        She owns some property here on Maui. She’s been asked to allow an easement for a road that would help the folk alot. She’s refused. Compassionate?

        I know it’s her land and she can do as she pleases, but she’s not compassionate.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I think it’s difficult to be compassionate AND create a hugely-successful entertainment and media empire. She might have started out as a compassionate person (or maybe not, I don’t know), but I’m guessing if she did, then she dropped it somewhere along the way.

        • Granny Sprinkles

          Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jumping on a Oprah 4 Preznit bandwagon. I’m just saying she isn’t some counter-equivalent of trump.

    • proudgrampa

      There’s someone elsewhere on this thread who thinks electing someone with NO government or political experience is a REALLY BAD IDEA.

  • JaveyDay
  • wait! what?

    This is why Australia can’t have nice things.

    http://www.joemygod.com/2018/01/08/margaret-court-skip-australian-open-claims-marriage-equality-will-bring-genderless-generation/

    Genderless marriage!?

    WHAT… THE… FUCK?

  • John Scott

    Oi! that picture! It’s only 6pm… I need vodka… Chelsea can you hear me? What the hell is barf in yiddish? thanks google big help “וואַמאַטינג”

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      you should really drink some beer with that.

      • John Scott

        NAh me and Chelsea 20… something or other

  • King Beauregard

    Hey Wonks,

    Like some of you (I imagine), I’ve been battling weight for a very long time. I am proud to report that it’s official: the thing I’ve been doing, seems to be allowing me to take the weight off pretty easily. Been doing it for a few weeks now and I’ve lost considerable weight.

    The short answer: 1500 calories a day, high protein to ward off hunger, everyday physical activity but no busting my ass with an exercise regimen.

    More details here …

    http://www.paprikash.com/howivebeenlosingweight.html

    Hope it helps somebody!

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      TRUCKER SPEED LIBELZ!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • hudson

    it just hit me.
    the smoke from the tower in the morning was to announce the candidacy of oprah?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      NON PAPA! NON PAPA! ES PAPA!

    • janecita

      Habemus Papam!

  • TJ Barke

    What’s the difference between fleece and wool? Is it how they’re processed?

    • Nounverb911

      Wool comes from sheep.
      Fleece is what trump does.

    • hudson

      you can pull wool over somebody’s eyes without fleecing them, but you can’t fleece them without pulling wool over their eyes?

    • Meccalopolis

      I think the fleece is the pelt with the wool still attached IIRC

    • bupkus231

      yes

  • Mavenmaven

    I just hope this doesn’t put the idea of running fir president into Alex Jones’ head

    • BadKitty904

      He’s at least as “qualified” as Turmp.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        But can he suck his own dick?

        • BadKitty904

          I don’t intend to find out.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Not with that gut.

  • Nounverb911
  • Lance Thrustwell

    So it’s Winfrey/Johnson 2020?

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      Lorax/Winfrey LIBELZ!

    • OrG

      Ray Jay?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You doesn’t have to call him that.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Speaking of the election we need to focus on at the moment:

    https://twitter.com/ForecasterEnten/status/950491128595283969

    • BadKitty904

      See? Gettin’ them lobbyi$t job$ whilst the gettin’s good!

    • bbayliss

      I wonder how much the polls and the supposition that Clinton would win affected the election?
      How many people thought their vote would not matter?

  • bbayliss

    “‘Get up’: Trump demands farmers give him a standing ovation at Nashville speech”
    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/get-up-trump-demands-farmers-give-him-a-standing-ovation-at-nashville-speech/

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    thing I forgot about when I was not working on campaigns. thought this would be particularly useful for @callyson:disqus.

    http://campaignsick.tumblr.com/

    • Raan

      “70% of the Earth is made up of that shit?”

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        it’s true. I read it on the internet.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Thanks honey!

  • Khavrinen

    “we don’t feel like giving this any more “analysis” than we already have”

    Next up, Alex Jones explains how “anal-ysis” is just another word for those big gay homosexual frogs, because they’re also Mooslim!!!

    ( They just spell it with a “Y” to try and throw you off, but he’s too SMRT to be fooled that easily! )

    • Meccalopolis

      To be fair, anal-ISIS is probably cooler than regular ISIS

      • Raan

        They are rigorous about keeping their camps clean.

  • JoeChristmas

    I’ll take Sally Yates or Ted Lieu over Oprah. Just sayin’.

    • stumpknocker

      i see potential in Oprah but she will need to start making political stances before i could find her viable, Sharrod Brown is my man at this point.

    • yyyaz

      Why not both?

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        A Yates-Lieu Sammich.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Ok folks, help me out here. Tacos or shepherd’s pie for dinner tonight? Which ever one I dont make tonight I am making tomorrow night.

    • BadKitty904

      Shepard’s pie. It’s still cold out.

      • IdiotsforPalin

        Shepard’s pie….

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Good point and I can do tacos on Tuesday.

    • h4rr4r

      Tacos, always tacos.

      • bbayliss

        snot tuesday, smonday

    • DrBigHead

      Shepherds pie will make better leftovers. Also more appropriate as a winter dish I would go with that.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      TEAM TACO.

      (but you could always put some shepherds pie filling and hashbrowns in a tortilla if you can’t decide. just don’t forget the avocado and try not to chop off your hand while pitting.)

    • C4TWOMAN

      Another vote for Shepard’s pie . Do it properly you’ll have enough for a couple days… but I’m getting a ready meal vib….still Shepard’s pie.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Its not already made, well except the mashed potatoes.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          sounds like a taco night since they are expeditious and you can also eat them for several days.

          • hudson

            won’t they get soggy?

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            you store the fillings separately from the tortillas.

            but, if you want to be a Dillon about it and make 200 turkey burritos, wrap them in wax paper and store them in the freezer.

          • hudson

            ya i thought so. i basically eat variation on soft tacos on most days.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            there are tacos and then there is taco bell. your tacos should not be hard.

        • C4TWOMAN

          In that case definitely Shepard’s pie. I’ll be over at 8.
          😸

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Shepard’s pie, do you like it?
      No, I hate it.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSSZQJPUqas

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Ok so I have 4 votes for shepherd’s pie and 2 for tacos. Looks like shepherd’s pie wins for tonight and tacos win for Tuesday.

    • weejee

      And every time they show tRump on the screen down a tin cup of neat rye whisky.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        Are you trying to kill me?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Tacos are for Tuesdays. Shepherd’s Pie.

  • BadKitty904

    Surely Oprah’s Illuminati duties and her seat on the Trilateral Commission keep her busy enough as it is…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdCfYHNctsc

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Fucking Pig…what will he expect at tonights footballs game?

    At a rally on Monday, in Nashville, Tennessee, he (Trump) touted the changes to the US tax code in the new Republican tax law, at one point requesting attendees give him a standing ovation. Later in the speech, Trump said it was a “privilege” for people to get to vote for him. “Oh, are you happy you voted for me?” Trump said. “You are so lucky that I gave you that privilege.”

    Link;
    http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-nashville-speech-standing-ovation-2018-1

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      what the balls?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      He “gave” them the privilege of voting?

      No dictator, no dictator, you’re a dictator.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        NO BANNON! NO BANNON! I DO ALL THE SELF-FELLATING!

    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
      • Raan

        What if we suspended an anvil over it?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      oh ffcs
      (for fucking christ’s sakes)

    • Nounverb911

      Does Trump Know How Long a College Football Game Runs?

      By Jason Gay

      Jan. 4, 2018 12:38 p.m. ET

      The President of the United States plans to attend the college football national championship on Monday, and as a sports columnist, and a citizen of this country, I feel compelled to warn him:

      Mr. President, it could be a very long night.

      I’m not saying President Trump has to stay for the whole game—he has other stuff happening—but does he know how long a college football contest drags on these days? His aides are going to need to stockpile caffeine—a 12-pack of the President’s prized Coca-Cola ,at the very least. And bring him some White House sweatpants, so he can take off his slacks and get comfortable. He might want to plan on a Presidential nap during halftime.

      After all, it’s hard to just “pop in” to a college football game. I know Air Force One is a fast jet and all, but if President Trump hangs in there until the very end, he is not getting back to D.C. until Tuesday.

      But you’ve got to hunker down to watch a college football game, whether you’re in the stadium or watching on TV. College football now lasts longer than college itself. The average contest has inched over 3 hours, 20 minutes, so if the kickoff happens at 8:17 p.m. ET as planned, you’re looking at a regulation finish close to midnight.

      That is not Fake News! Near midnight! On a Monday!

      (This is the time when those West Coast weasels pop up and say, “Hey, that’s only 9 p.m. where we live, bro.” Whatever, West Coast weasels. Your lives are warmer, tanner and better than ours—you win. Now go climb a redwood.)

      If you follow college football, you’re accustomed to these endurance contests. You’ve learned to stockpile snacks and beer and rotate your body on the couch every so often, to avoid couch sores. You send your kids to bed at halftime and promise you’ll tell them about it in the morning. Every so often, you fall asleep yourself.

      I fell asleep in the second half of Alabama-Clemson the other night, and I’m not ashamed to say it. Hey college football pooh-bahs: nobody wants to stay up until midnight the night AFTER New Years Eve. Also, the game was a bust compared to that insane Georgia-Oklahoma finish.

      I’m not sure the President’s been briefed on the national epidemic of overlong college football games, which, of course, is simply part of our national epidemic of overlong everything. Baseball games are too long, many basketball games are still too long, political speeches are too long, office meetings are too long, movies are too long…I nearly fainted when I heard the new Star Wars movie is two and a half hours long. COME ON, LUKE SKYWALKER, I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO.

      With sports, this is TV’s fault. Television desperately needs sports—for all the howling about boycotts and cord-cutting, it’s still the most reliable ratings bet in programming—and they’ll happily stretch the games and seasons as long as they possibly can. If college football wanted to add a fifth and sixth quarter to games, networks would be thrilled. Make the NFL season 18 games? Of course. Expand the playoffs? Yes! Make the World Series Best of Nine?

      OK maybe not that.

      Does President Trump know what he’s in for? He’s already going to be tired Monday, since he’s promised on Twitter to reveal his “MOST DISHONEST AND CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS” starting at 5 p.m. that night (I’m nominated in several categories; wish me luck). Has anyone pulled him aside and said: “Mr. President, I know you’re excited to see Bama and UGA, but this game might last longer than election night.”

      Because if they haven’t warned him, the President is going to look up at the game clock in the third quarter, notice that it’s well past 10 p.m. and….well, someone’s probably going to get yelled at.

      Then again, the President loves golf. He might think college football is fast.

      I don’t mean to be a wet blanket. This year’s title game is a real doozy-doo, and that’s surely one reason the President wants in. You have the Georgia Bulldogs squaring off against…what’s that other team again? Oh right: The Alabama Crimson Tide, coached by that handsome headset hunk, Nick Saban. Those are two of the sport’s most insane fan bases, so the crowd’s going to be nuts. They’re playing it in that lavish new stadium sponsored by Mercedes-Benz. Tickets cost as much as, well, a Mercedes-Benz.

      Who wouldn’t want to be there?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        After all, it’s hard to just “pop in” to a college football game.

        Pence assured him: wait for the Anthem, feign disgust at the players kneeling, haul your ass outta there.

  • Sheepshagger
    • stumpknocker

      no but she might give them all a car

    • Bill D. Burger

      She would just surprise the Trumps and the whole GOP with her first executive order:

      https://i.imgflip.com/1x1oet.jpg

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I got my free trip to North Korea, and it was well worth the $25 I paid for it through the USO!

  • TundraGrifter

    When I read “broke down” the image of Alex Jones does come to mind rather quickly.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Mary Theresa

      You mean he can’t answer written questions in crayons?

    • bbayliss

      In which case he can either take the 5th, or lie, either way he’s done.

  • DrBigHead

    May have already been posted, but I am going to drop this and run for the hills.

    http://www.startribune.com/major-donor-reconsiders-support-for-democrats-who-urged-franken-to-quit/468251513/

    • stumpknocker

      yeah, the problem i have with the whole situation was intent. was he looking for sex or being a comedian who pulled off a joke in bad taste? if you get caught peeing behind a bush in a park, is that a sex crime or just being stupid?

    • Occam’s 8 ball

      IMHO, Franken wasn’t enjoying his role as the only thoughtful senator. He frequently complained about how his main job was dialing for dollars. The accusations didn’t seem to demonstrate abuse of power over the weak so much either. He is a good person but maybe he can use his private role more effectively as a witty voice of reason. I don’t think he intends to disappear from the punditry trade.

      • DrBigHead

        True, but pundits don’t have a vote in the senate

        • Occam’s 8 ball

          He was always fully present and prepared for hearings, too. I will definitely miss that.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    why do so many of you guys think that shepherds pie is something you can eat for days and tacos are not? you should not be putting a whole can of refried beans into one plate of tacos and you should always cook the whole package of meats for whatever taco meat you want.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I love taco leftovers. You can make tacos, or tostadas, or frito taco pie…

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        frito pie is made with chili not taco meats.

        • DrBigHead

          What would the difference be?

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            how long it takes to cook and the spices.

          • DrBigHead

            I’ve had fish tacos where the protein is cooked in seconds as well as green chili tacos where the filling cooked all day.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            but chili–as in the stew like concoction–takes at least all day if not several days.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            the sauce…and the beans knowing her.

            ; p

    • yyyaz

      I’m still eating some 4-day-old jambalaya with no ill effects so faaa

      • DrBigHead

        That will just keep getting better until there is noticeable mold on the surface.

      • Slamtundra

        Mmmmmm. …jambalaya

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Either one will have left overs for several days. Also which ever one I dont make tonight is dinner for tomorrow.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        why not make whichever one you don’t make tonight when tonight’s leftovers run out?

    • bbayliss

      Yer not the boss of me.
      I’ll eat what I please, including couch cushion snacks.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Who puts beans in tacos?

      • Anna Rompage

        Only those who are cray cray…. ;)

      • DrBigHead

        More of a burrito thing, but that’s just me.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          eggzactly- unless you’re doing chorizo and egg burritos, then the only thing you can add is green chiles

          • DrBigHead

            I also like fried potatoes in those

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            oh, yeah. forgot about them

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        refried beans are like taco mayo. who doesn’t put beans in their tacos?

        • DrBigHead

          Most of Tucson, I reckon. On the side, yes. but not in the tacos

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            you guys are too baked for your own good.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          That’s why Tex Mex is an abomination…

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            ???

    • DrBigHead

      Foe me it depends on the tacos. If you are making a stew-like taco filling to be eaten without the greens, then yes, they would serve well as leftovers. Leftover shepherds pie, imo, is just easier to heat up.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        you are tacoing rong.

        • DrBigHead

          Them’s fightin’ words!!!

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            do you really want to fight me?

          • DrBigHead

            Nah, I’m too old and tired….

  • Mary Theresa

    I don’t know of this would have made anymore sense if I had my tin foil hat on. Thanks Alex.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      you’d have to order your tin foil from InfoWars with a whole lot of Trucker Speed.

      • Mary Theresa

        It’s the trucker speed I’m missing.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          I think the trucker speed just wigs you out if you don’t get your tin foil from InfoWars also too. but I hear they have a combo deal if you include at least one supplement with lead in it.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    LORAX 2020: EVERY DAY WILL BE TACO TUESWINE!

  • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

    As predicted, the traffic was totally fucked in downtown Atlanta today. Icy rain + sportsball fen + movie people (forgot there was still something shooting going on) + all the popo out because prez fuckwit might come and make the game all about him some how = hellscape.

    Also, if one more asshat yells “go Dawgs!” in my face I will punch a fool.

    • nightmoth

      When is the traffic NOT fucked in Atlanta? I never go over there any more. And asshats yelling “Go Dawgs” makes me avoid Athens, as well, on game days.

      • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

        It is mostly fucked, that’s true.
        Today just brought more murderous thoughts than usual.

    • Bobathonic

      What’s the Good Word?

      To hell with Georgia!

      • yyyaz

        Went to a bowl game with my alma mater vs. Georgia in the antediluvian days of yore. I was more impressed with the civility of Dawgs fans than any other opposing feetball team I ever saw. Cross my heart.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I am still at at the BF’s in Woodstock and don’t even need to go through town to get home. And Waze has said an hour and a half for 30 miles.

      • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

        Ahhh… Making Atlanta Gridlocked Again!

        I hope you made it home from Woodstock in under an hour…

  • Carpe Vagenda

    The stupid Charles Johnson is suing twitter for something something freedom of the internet like that was even a thing before his boy trashed net neutrality and _he hired Wesley Snipes’ tax lawyer_

    https://twitter.com/Green_Footballs/status/950488466197921792

  • wait! what?

    “President Donald Trump’s pick for the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) secretary, Alex Azar, was a top executive at pharmaceutical company Eli Lilly when it decided to test an erectile dysfunction drug on children — a strategy meant to extend the drug’s expiring patent. The move extended Eli Lilly’s patent over Cialis, the lucrative drug that acquires over $2 billion a year, for six months.”

    https://thinkprogress.org/health-secretary-pick-tested-drug-on-kids-24805a4fa02d/

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      What…the…fuck?

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Yeah, why be so hard on kids as that

    • Lord Jim

      Fuckin. HELL.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Thanks Susan Sarandon, because Hillary was worse…

      And get off my damn TeeVee while I’m trying to watch an awards show!

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      So the GOP will confirm him right ?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Counterpoint – the National Institute of Health conducted a study that found that Cialis is effective at treating pediatric pulmonary hypertension. Of the 33 patients who were part of the study in 2012, 29 saw improvement and the study concluded

      “Tadalafil [Cialis’s active ingredient] can be safely used for pediatric patients with PAH and may prevent disease progression.”

      There’s plenty to object to with regard to Eli Lilly’s methods. But it’s a touch sensational in the way it’s being reported.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        IIRC, viagra, at least, started as a heart pill of some kind.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Also perscribed for BPH — benign prostate hyperplasia.

        • puredog

          You can still buy it — Revatio — at a fraction of the price of actual Viagra.

      • wait! what?

        Agreed.

  • Nounverb911
    • Anna Rompage

      If that was Donad the Dotard, he would have knocked the little kid over & made him cry, and then would have declared his vast supremacy over the little tyke…

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        then stole the cape.

        • stumpknocker

          and sued him

        • Mary Theresa

          Then stole his candy.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        He even looks like the original Lex Luthor

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        In honor of today’s fire at Trump Tower, this is exactly how I imagine Trump plus kids
        https://i.makeagif.com/media/11-13-2015/YYpwb-.gif

    • nightmoth

      I’m taking this Squee moment as an opportunity to remind everyone that the Obamas offered to leave Sasha and Malia’s playground stuff for Trump’s grandchildren to enjoy, and he refused it. Just one more reason I loathe him.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        The playground stuff and the garden.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    So I guess I missed the outrage over the moment in last night’s episode of Star Trek: Discovery where Lt. Tyler (who is apparently a Klingon sleeper agent) snaps Dr. Culber’s neck when Culber discovers the extensive surgery that was done to make Tyler appear human.. Maybe it’s because of my own privilege not seeing the issue because of the drama involved in murdering one of the two gay characters on the show. I still think, though, that at that point the writers were in a corner and either they had to follow-through or it pretty much weakens the story arc.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Who is this “Okrah” of which you speak?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      heh, my mother used to use feeding us okra as a threat.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        The good news is, it just slides down your throat because of all the slime.

      • SDGeoff3

        My mother fed us canned asparagus.

        • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

          You poor thing!

          • SDGeoff3

            I know, but she also served canned everything else, even beets. So when I got into cooking real smart, I went right away to the fresh stuff. She loves coming over late lunch now!

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            You converted her! Wasn’t the whole canned everything a big thing in years past for most people?

          • SDGeoff3

            It was big when I was a geoffpup in the 50’s. Then Birds Eye came along and vegetables got a little nicer.

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            Jonny said the same thing.

          • puredog

            I think it was the greatest moment in my mother’s cooking life when you could start getting pre-made veggies in seal-a-meal frozen bags.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I didn’t even know there was such a thing…

          • SDGeoff3

            Dreadful, wretched, canned asparagus. But there’s a happy ending.

          • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

            It’s dreadful and the reason I didn’t even try asparagus again until my twenties. And I was SO PISSED because I missed out on years of eating delicious fresh asparagus. My husband’s aunt makes something with it that is allegedly good, but you couldn’t pay me to eat it.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it sounds horrible

        • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

          And then the murders began

          • Msgr_MΩment

            And then the canned clams began.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            You monster.

          • SDGeoff3

            There were moments…

        • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

          This is the exact reason that I didn’t try asparagus again until I was a full grown adult. Fresh, obviously.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Can’t top frozen Brussels sprouts. And she never defrosted them first, so they all boiled until the middle of the block turned grey…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Ewwww

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I’m still better off than my husband, who thought he hated spinach until I cooked it for him (because his mom used to boil the canned stuff).

      • Nounverb911

        My college football team seemed to have eaten a lot of this before playing Bama last week…
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5cb9dbcf55b2c192f96685bf032ea4c234c7ba25fbb4fd4b8c9444f2fdef38e5.png

      • bbayliss
        • SDGeoff3

          Edible petals?

          • bbayliss

            none of it is good to eat.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Oh, my. That is pretty.

          • bbayliss

            Deep red violet center.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Some day, unless that’s actively toxic, it’s going to become a Thing in fine dining for at least three weeks.

          • bbayliss

            I suppose.

      • hendenburg2

        That was refried bean burritos for my childhood.

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      A vegetable meant only to be eaten fried.

      • Miles Monroe

        It was only served boiled in our house; pretty sure that’s grounds for CPS intervention nowadays …

        • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

          Monstrous!

        • weighmaster

          which is fine in gumbo, but otherwise, no.

      • stumpknocker

        no no no, stewed with tomatoes spicy and through in your shrimp for the last five minuits.

      • nightmoth

        Also good when doused with vinegar and oil, then roasted. Or cooked with corn and tomatoes, then poured over rice. Hmmm-actually I like okra quite a lot.

        • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

          It’s a texture thing for me. I like the taste.

      • NotReallyHere
        • Tokays_don’t_blink

          drool….

      • hudson

        protip. cook with a bit of tamarind to get rid of the slime.

        after that there several options possible.

        • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

          Options Like DEEP FRYING. ;)

          I would like to try my hand at Thai, so I will have to get better acquainted with tamarind.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          For some reason, Tom Colicchio whines about okra constantly (I’m pretty sure his mom bought the frozen stuff, which is horrendous), but whenever anyone serves it to him he’s fine.

          He does seem to prefer pickled or fried.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I love the slime.

      • Stable Genius Demme

        There are Indian recipes that are splendid.
        (Bindhi.)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      IDK, but her Harkonnen Productions gives me the heebie-jeebies.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This would definitely have been better:

    https://twitter.com/edelstudio/status/950135496323280897

  • SDGeoff3

    We disco fairies of the ’70’s would behold Alex Jones, with or without bbq sauce, and shake our heads and quietly exclaim, “NWW”.
    Not a Well Woman.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • hudson

      next up dental coverage.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “But I still got problems tryin’ to eat apples!”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • hudson

      thank me for giving you the privilege of voting for me and get up.

    • Kateaux

      Imagine, late at night, the animatronic figures in Disney’s Hall of Presidents secretly coming to life…and what the others have to say to 45.

    • Roadstergal

      I know we sometimes do bias-y stuff of taking a really inspirational quote from the person we like and putting it against some stupid shit that the person we didn’t like said – but I challenge anyone to find an Obama quote – and you can go back to his stoned college days – that isn’t far more inspirational and coherent than anything Drumpf has said.

  • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Agreed. Anyone who launched the television careers of Dr. Oz AND Dr. Phil is solidly in woo country.

      • biologydave

        GMTA

    • Roadstergal

      Yes. None of this anti-vax cancer-woo Secret bullshit. Sure, she’s good at promotion. She’s not Presidential material. We have women of color who WOULD be good Presidents – let’s stick with them.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      head of women’s services? violence against women coordinator?

      fuckers.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “I got Congress to approve funding for these new rape kits. Everything you need. Gloves, rope, chloroform, ski mask…”

    • Anna Rompage

      Child molesters, wife beaters, and rapists…

      Are to tired of all the winning yet?

      • Rick Hill

        The BEST peoples

      • therblig

        worst.cher.song.ever

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The Trump White House. Affirmative action for white men.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Don Jr. will crack like an egg on TV in front of the cameras….”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTC0AWpVAAAQ2Y5.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And all the King’s horses just stepped all over him and made matters worse, because no oppossumible thumbs.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Little wuss will be an omelette in about 15 seconds.

      • Roadstergal

        You can’t make a treasomelette without breaking a few Juniors.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      ‘There’s glory for you!’

      ‘I don’t know what you mean by “glory”,’ Alice said.

      Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. ‘Of course you don’t — till I tell you. I meant “there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!”‘

      ‘But “glory” doesn’t mean “a nice knock-down argument”,’ Alice objected.

      ‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

      ‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

      ‘The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master — that’s all.’

      Alice was too much puzzled to say anything; so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. ‘They’ve a temper, some of them — particularly verbs: they’re the proudest — adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs — however, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!’

      ‘Would you tell me please,’ said Alice, ‘what that means?’

      ‘Now you talk like a reasonable child,’ said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. ‘I meant by “impenetrability” that we’ve had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you’d mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don’t mean to stop here all the rest of your life.’

      ‘That’s a great deal to make one word mean,’ Alice said in a thoughtful tone.

      ‘When I make a word do a lot of work like that,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘I always pay it extra.’

      • yyyaz

        And we now have a squatter in the WH who makes Humpty Dumpty look like an egghead in comparison.

  • anon_the_great

    Time to institutionalize that fat white supremacist fuck.

    (pick one)

    • Mary Theresa

      AOT,K>

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      heh, deliver’s remarks – cause it sure as shit ain’t a “speech” as such.

      (Also, do you think Trump has even seen pictures of a farm?)

    • Rick Hill

      He comes out clapping, as though he’s applauding the yokels who come to see him…but we all know who the real star of the show, is….

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      Where he DEMANDS the audience to give him a standing ovation.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    look at the adorable retro Beto buttons I got last night. look. at. them.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/72065f915965fa24fecd0d3673535b989810c6e5b07e77c0af0108143f1a28f3.jpg

    Calliope Jane would like a Beto dress now, peas and spanx.

    • Fartknocker

      I’m a huge fan after reading about him Texas Monthly. I know he’s challenging Ted Cruz but he seems to have engaged with many Texans.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        I love it how they were kind of implying that Beto is better because Cruz is still running for president.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        which HD are you in?

      • Fartknocker

        HD 48 – Donna Howard

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So CNN’s top headline earlier today was “analysis” of using the 25th to remove Trump was not what the 25th amendment was made for and it wasn’t a Cilizza piece.

    • bbayliss

      Didn’t read the article but they’re right; it’s appealable which requires 2/3 of both houses and it’s meant to be temporary.

  • Rick Hill

    So, drove the new girl home tonight. Coming back, just off I-75, a billboard is up “Right to work is a lie!” The tide is…trying to turn but likely too late.

    • bupkus231

      I-75 runs from Florida to Michigan ( or Michigan to Florida, depending on your orientation ). Ohio is the only state on that route that does not YET have “right-to-work” laws, but the assholes are surely pushing ’em in Ohio.

      • Rick Hill

        Ohio, is us.

      • Doug Langley

        We don’t? Sure had me fooled.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • The Rick

    You guys are saints for dredging through Alex Jones nonsense. I’ve blocked all ways to inforwars from my router because I refuse to let anyone in this house give them clicks. If you want to be angry and misinformed it’s a solid site. For everything else it’s just bad.

  • wait! what?

    I’m beginning to suspect that Mississippi has issues…

    https://twitter.com/LambdaLegal/status/950384676618883072?s=17

    • Anna Rompage

      It will go back to court once someone is actually denied services…

  • Rick Hill

    Not sure if this is a humorous comment or an mra, mgtow, women bashing comment…
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aAxB50p_460s.jpg

    • stumpknocker

      were they thongs?

    • Parakeetist

      What is the point? Why did you post this?

      • janecita

        Because it’s funny?

        • Parakeetist

          I don’t think it is.

          • janecita

            We don’t all have the same sense of humor

        • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

          And it’s true.

      • Bananas Foster

        Because it humorously makes a pretty good point.

        • Parakeetist

          Not to me.

          • Bananas Foster

            Okay then.

      • puredog

        What part of “open thread” don’t you grasp?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      My boyfriend and I just giggled over this one. Because I sexually harass him all the time.

    • puredog

      Imma gonna go with “humorous comment.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    How ordinary farmers really feel about The Fucking Moron:

    [Farmers move to defy Trump on NAFTA
    After trusting that the president would have their backs, agricultural advocates now feel a sense of betrayal.

    By ADAM BEHSUDI 11/09/2017 10:24 PM EST]

    https://www.politico.com/story/2017/11/09/trump-nafta-farmers-defy-244769

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “argicultural advocates” were fucking morons then.

      (Seriously though, what kind of orwellian shit is that?)

      • Roadstergal

        Those guys on I-5 in the nowhere between LA and Sacramento with the “Thank You For Making America Great Again” signs last January?

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        The dingdongs in South Georgia nearer to Lower Alabama, also too.

      • puredog

        “But it’s really great Orwellian shit, Mrs. Kresge!”

    • teele

      Thanks for that link. Very informative story. It’s interesting that different facets of the economy are starting to battle each other for the increasingly small supply of goodies. The comments were interesting, as well. Most of the people seemed to understand the issue, but some die-hard trumpanzees really just don’t get it. They seem to think that Mexico and Canada have no other trade options, and that all those jobs will come back here so we can have a good economy and buy stuff. The reality is that if other countries trade with each other, they will produce more jobs for their citizens and those working people will comprise the consumers that businesses compete for. We become the new Chinese peasants, and the Chinese peasants move up to middle-class purchasing power. But, hey, low-paying farm jobs will be opening up for all the trumpanzees who complained about the Mexican workers “stealing” the jobs. Oh, wait, didn’t Alabama discover that red-blooded patriots weren’t so keen to take those jobs back?

  • REALITY CHECK!

    Is anyone seriously saying Oprah for President?
    Is anyone seriously saying they’d vote for her?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      If it was a choice between Oprah and Trump in 2020?

      • Juan de Fuca

        *Checks “Oprah”*

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And the debate will be moderated by Stephen Miller.

        • Sheepshagger

          And there’s a dead lady climbing up your leg with a knife in her teeth.

      • This website does sell a hat saying LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE 2020.

        I object to it on the grounds that that includes Ted Cruz and Jill Stein.

      • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

        Oprah in a fucking heartbeat.

    • SDGeoff3

      She’d never make it to the convention…but then…oh fuckfuckfuck…

    • Parakeetist

      SHE’S NOT EVEN RUNNING.

      A bunch of people said shit on the Interwebs, and now people are actually angry about something that IS NOT HAPPENING. Angry and yelling and saying they’re so appalled. SHE IS NOT RUNNING.

      I’m going to run screaming down the street.

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        This is also my understanding, and how I feel about it.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos
        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          p.s. that whole left side under that photo – which is their “top stories” area was ALL different angles on her “running.”

          • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

            I saw those, too, but if you read the content, it’s just a bunch of speculation for clicks.

        • Parakeetist

          She just denied it. Read something before you post.

          Peter Alexander‏Verified account

          @PeterAlexander

          Follow Follow @PeterAlexander

          More

          NEW: A source close to @Oprah tells @tvkatesnow as of today, she has no intention of running for President in 2020:

          “It’s not happening. She has no intention of running,” the source said.

          Source says that’s from Oprah herself.

          3:26 PM – 8 Jan 2018

          • puredog

            Well, grain of salt. The only other possible comments were “she intends to run,” “no comment,” and “she is not going to run.” That she has no “present intention” preserves flexibility. “No comment” would fuel wild speculation. If she said “I intend to run,” it would be on.

        • Parakeetist

          Article says her confidants have been telling her to run. Not that she herself said she’d run.

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      It was my understanding this all began because of a Seth Meyers joke, which is what Wonkette said, and it suddenly got way bigger than the joke, as things will on the Internet. Maybe I’m missing something…

    • Juan de Fuca

      We fawn over Justin Trudeau on here, who had limited government/leadership experience. I can tolerate some appreciation for Oprah for a day after her speech. Because it was a damn good speech.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Gail will be her Steve Bannon

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      You need to use triangle brackets for your html tags, not square brackets.

      Just sayin’.

  • Johnatx

    OT, right? Laura Morrison is going to run against Steve Adler for Austin mayor

    • Fartknocker

      Mayor Monty Hall has a challenger? What’s going to be her platform? Is she actually going to do something for the neighborhoods or a fucking pandering twat for development?

      • Johnatx

        Austin American-Statesman has an article up. Texas Tribune probably also, too

      • Johnatx

        Mostly against CodeNext. Haven’t read the stuff in depth.
        Though, if things go as they might, I won’t be in Austin to worry about it

  • Boscoe

    Alex Jones always has that weird look on his face like a Tourette’s sufferer who is fully conscious that he is spouting horrible things, but can’t do anything to stop himself…

    • tehbaddr

      Or, it could be he’s always scarfing down that OTC trucker speed he sells! A sane dealer always knows not to hit the stash!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Rick Hill

      Wonder if that was in his…words that he said in front of the farmers, tonight?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Japan is buying beef from Australia under a trade agreement modeled after the TPP. Canada’s exports are up (at the expense of ours). But we really stuck it to those immigrants didn’t we. MAGA!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Yup, I get the idea of having concerns over free trade and wanting to make sure TPP was in our best interest, but why the RWNJs and dopey Bros who went apeshit about Hillary’s nuanced answer to about it believed that just because we didn’t sign the thing, other countries wouldn’t just go ahead and make their own trade deals without us is absolutely beyond me. No dopey righties and dopey lefties- not signing TPP didn’t make it disappear- we just no longer have ANY control over it now and won’t benefit from it.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Well, without immigrants a lot of food is just going to rot in the fields cuz nobody to harvest it.

    • stumpknocker

      now that is negotiating for you, thank donny.

    • Ling Ling

      From the bastion of journalism (Capital Press) here is an Ag take. We loves Trump but this trade thing… http://www.capitalpress.com/20180108/farm-bureau-grateful-to-trump-but-anxious-on-trade

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        They love him because he let them put all their fertilizer runoff and excess pig shit into the nearest waterway. Dumb fuckers haven’t realized how much money his trade policies will cost them

      • therblig

        “I take the president at his word,” he said.

        boned.

    • tehbaddr

      Bringing back Jobs!
      #MAGA

    • goonemeritus

      Trump’s base will just blame Hillary, because ….. (pantsuits?)

  • janecita

    My favorite song cover of all time, I especially like the ending.

    https://youtu.be/6VsCKbcSNZ8

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      I really like that version too.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Love me some Green Day…saw them in Seattle a couple of years ago….awesome show. I might have been the oldest one there.

      • janecita

        I saw them with my daughter this past summer, they were awesome!

      • Roadstergal

        I found myself listening to a loop track of 21 Guns on the last day of 2016. :/

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      My oldest niece had on a Green Day shirt a couple of years ago. She was 15. I told her I love Green Day. She couldn’t believe I know who that is! I had to explain to her they came out when I was younger than she is now, and play her Ye Olde Green Day songs.

      • janecita

        “Dookie” is their best album. My daughter basically loves the same bands I love. I’ve been brainwashing her since day one;-)

  • Nounverb911
    • IdiotsforPalin

      My favorite artist of all time…I had the honor at the US festival in 1983 to be on stage with as Bowie. I was doing security and it was hard to pay attention to my job.

    • Parakeetist

      Rest in peace. I’m gonna cry. Man, two fucking years.

    • Courser_Resistance

      That was a more hopeful time. ^^^^^^

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    What’s really amusing is that the Republicans want to use it as a selling point:

    https://twitter.com/AmandaMarcotte/status/950506680697131008

    • OrG

      The rubes will like it, even if their insurance premiums go up way more than their paltry tax cut. They’re stupid like that.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        JUST

        SO

        DAMN

        DUMB

    • Ling Ling

      I hope this is true, but the 538 composite is rather alarming in the new year. https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/trump-approval-ratings/

  • Bill D. Burger

    The ‘stable’ genius: “My name is Donald J. Trump. The ‘J’ stands for Genius.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DTDcyL6X4AAKTcR.jpg

  • Sheepshagger
    • Ling Ling

      I did several years in PI. This seemed like real news to me.

  • Johnatx

    Cedar pollen count (actually juniper pollen count) is over 10,000. I think I just sneezed out a lung

    • Nounverb911

      So it’ a good day to make cedar cheese then?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Juniper pollen? I hear that is kryptonite to Steve Bannon

    • Parakeetist

      Oh, shit, pollen? So that’s why my nostrils turned into cement today.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Suck it back in while while it’s still pink

    • proudgrampa

      Yeah. That is nasty stuff. Put on the respirator!

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Isn’t it a little early in the year for the trees to start shagging?

      Seriously though, I feel for you. That stuff is a misery.

  • Rick Hill

    Not sure(again) if this is “spank the monkey butt, once” or “spank the monkey” once
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aR36dXM_460s.jpg

  • Did Wonkette win any of the esteemed trump fake news awards? I’ve been out of pocket all afternoon and was rooting hard for our team.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      didn’t your hear? they were “rescheduled” for Wed.

      • Ah heck.

      • OrG

        NEXT Wednesday.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          gah, see now I feel embarassed.

          • tehbaddr

            Pay attention to Der Trumpenfuhrer!

        • So we’ve got another week for the team to put together more hard hitting journamalism!

          • tehbaddr

            And more dick jokes!

      • Johnatx

        He really needs to do it at the State of the Union address.

        • Brilliant and appropriate.

          • Johnatx

            God, it would be spectacular. Maybe have different cabinet members present awards in the different categories.

          • CripesAmighty

            Good as anything else. I have this morbid curiosity–it’ll likely be one of those half-assed, clumsy, cringeworthy barn-show clusterfucks. And mysteriously, the hickerati just eat it up.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Ugh, no. I swear I break out in fucking hives if I have to watch him for more than a few seconds. Not to mention my brain is screaming… so no, I’ll think I’ll take a pass.

          • puredog

            Or, better yet, young ladies hired from their presenting duties at auto shows.

        • OrG

          Ratings through the roof!

          • Johnatx

            Bigly

      • wait! what?

        Which means Charlie Daniels will wonder why we aren’t talking about them on Tuesday…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Because the stable genius can’t walk and chew gum at the same time and forgot about he was being busy fucking up a college football game

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      He rescheduled it for next week.

  • tehbaddr

    Nope! Sorry Alex, Oprah is horrible in many ways and for many reasons, but those are none of them !!!

  • Sashineb

    Yeah, sure, DoughBoy. As if he is the voice of reason:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AFVlijRSNU

    • NotReallyHere

      Alex Jones Screams Because He Loves … Screaming?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Seven years ago today is a date etched in Tucson history and the memories of every decent person here; 6 people were murdered and Gabby Giffords had part of her head blown off in a mass shooting at Safeway store. It was a Saturday…I was on my way home form work when I heard it on the radio. NPR initially reported that Gabby had been killed; I had to pull to the side of the road to throw up. The University Medical Center where they were desperately trying to save her life is a few blocks from my house. I remember walking down there in the middle of a sleepless night, sitting on grounds crying and praying and wondering how the fuck this could’ve happened.

    In the years since, I’ve played a few benefits centered around the tragedy, to raise money and awareness to try to staunch the plague of gun violence. I’ve gotten to meet some of the victims and heroes of that sad day…Patricia Maisch, a kind, grandmotherly lady who helped wrestle the gun from the shooter; John Green, who’s daughter Christina was killed because she was a bright, curious young lady who wanted to know more about how government worked and went with a neighbor to the open gathering to ask her Congresswoman some questions about it. Meeting John Green was, tough…heartbreaking and very humbling; His grief, even now, envelops him like a shroud, and despite his courage in speaking out, it will never go away nor bring his daughter back.

    Too soon to be bringing this up? Fuck. Sorry, I forgot. Let me know when it’s the right time to talk about it.

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      *big hug*

    • Maclare’s Bodega o’ Crap 🏪

      Thank you for writing this.

    • proudgrampa

      NEVER too soon.

    • tehbaddr

      Punk hug with the shaking, man.

    • Lord Jim

      NEVER. STOP. WITNESSING.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Thx, my friend.

    • puredog

      Wow, that was seven years ago? I guess it makes sense, since all the progress since then on gun control would necessarily have had to take some time.
      [crickets]

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yeah. Thankfully, we’ve changed our culture so that this kind of thing will never happen again.

    • Slamtundra

      I didn’t hear a thing about this on the radio on the way to or from work today. That’s pretty fucked up.

    • Stable Genius Demme

      Thanks, drublic.

    • You can help here –> https://giffords.org if, like me, you’re too lame do DO SOMETHING but can at least throw a few (or MANY) dollars at them.

    • Moar Wordz

      No, is the right time, thank-you.

  • Anna Rompage

    My Pandora is running a bit buggy today… If I pause the music, and then restart it, it starts playing a new song over the song that is already playing…

    It’s kind of a mind fuck, like, “is this some new crazy remix the kids these days came up with? Oh no, it’s just fucked up”….

    • tehbaddr

      Have you tried turning it off, then on again?

      • Anna Rompage

        What’s the fun in that?

        • Slamtundra

          Is it plugged in?

    • Courser_Resistance

      The central channel in my A/V receivers is going out. So I’ll be sitting here listening to Pandora and blink! ‘Uh, did I just have a stroke or something?” as the vocals disappear.

  • La forza del resistino

    when your syphilis contracts herpes (h/t Colbert) and sprouts a 2nd head.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/da7499d19393f91ee0526ea186a1bf4ebc116265aa1781be7b11b47271aa473b.jpg

  • Mary Theresa

    Another perv resigns:

    Kentucky’s Republican House speaker resigns leadership post
    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/kentucky’s-republican-house-speaker-resigns-leadership-post/ar-BBI8ale?ocid=spartanntp

    • Courser_Resistance

      I love how the god-botherers always classify lies as, “from the pits of hell”. It’s so melodramatic!

      • Mary Theresa

        Followed up by, he doesn’t want to be a distraction.

  • Nounverb911
    • Khavrinen

      Sounds legit…

    • Parakeetist

      The only person who got to say he was a genius was Oscar Wilde.

      • wait! what?

        …and Lazlo Hollyfield.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      “Story checks out!”

      –Stephen Miller, between slurps

  • JaveyDay

    I think this got buried earlier, so I’m going to post it one more time. Who wants to make me a beat?

    GENIUS PRESIDENT OF GOD
    by TRUMP D@DDY
    feat. DJ Ivankadonk and B.i.G E. T.R.u.M.P.Z.

    My skills are BIGLY!
    And My Brain is Good and Huge .
    I’m spinning Rhymes like they’re Turds in a Sentryfuge (what)
    I Look so Good when I’m Putin on My MAGA Hat-
    At the Rally with the Klan ,where my People At?

    To All the Losers , All the Haters : FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)
    To All the Losers, All the Haters :FAKE NEWS ! (Fake News!!)
    Now Ivanka, Drop the Beat
    on These Breitbart Fools!

    (MAGA)

    I am Tremendous.
    And my Words are All The Best.
    I Rock it Harder than jared in his kevlar Vest (peace!)
    Want My Fire? Want my Fury? I can Bring those Too.
    SLOPPY STEVE, you’re just Mad I “You’re Fired!” You !!

    To All the Losers ,All the Haters :FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)
    To All the Losers , All the Haters : FAKE NEWS ! (Fake News!)
    Now Ivanka drop That beat
    On These Breitbart Fools!

    *DJ Ivankadonk drops it like it’s hot*
    I Am Complicit
    (Unnnhhh) In all that Daddy Does.
    You’ve seen the pictures; I don’t care what you think of us (unnnhhh!)
    I am his Princess (unnhh) and his Kingdom will be mine (oh yeah!)
    But for now I launder money through my jewelry line (UNNNHHHH!)

    (Fake News! Fake News!)

    *B.i.G E. T.R.u.M.P.Z. slings it fresh*
    You are My Daddy.
    You Are so Very Big And Strong.
    Your Hands are GIANT and your Fingers are So Long.
    I am Your Baby Boy, Barron ain’t Got Shit on Me–
    DADDY ,won’t you tell Me that You Love me , PLEASE (no)

    (Fake News! Fake News!)

    *TRUMP D@DDY brings it back*
    I am A Genius!
    And I am Also very Stable.
    My Greasy Fists pounding Hard on that Oval Table- (tell ’em daddy)
    Making America GREAT, that’s What I’m here To Do;
    My Button’s BIG and it WORKS And I’ll Use it Too! (UNNNHHHH!)

    To All the Losers;, All the Haters :: FAKE NEWS!! (Fake News!)
    To All the Losers, All The haters : FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)
    Now Ivanka drop That Beat
    on These Breitbart fools!

    To All the losers, all The Haters : FAKE NEWS!! (Fake News!)
    To All the Loosers, All the Haters:–FAKE NEWS! (Fake News!)

    TO All The LOSERS!!!
    All the HATERS!!
    FAKE NEWS!!!!

  • Sheepshagger

    Somebody think of the poor white men!https://twitter.com/cnn/status/950507680657039360

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      BRB, throwing up now.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i posted some quotes from the lawsuit earlier – you’ll wanna skip those.

        • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

          Haven’t seen them but I’m sure they all boil down to one salient point: conservative white male privilege.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            pretty close – essentially, “why can’t we be racist sexist fuckwits without consequences?”

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          I thought they where all for right to work laws?

    • bbayliss

      engineers could use more derision and discrimination

      • yyyaz

        lulz.

    • (Nasty Girl) Brianna #RESIST

      Now THAT discovery oughtta be interesting!

    • Parakeetist

      Yeah, ’cause white males cannot be happy with only 95% of the executive jobs in America.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      That is funny because a lot of engineers and tech bros are white male libratarians

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, I wish him good luck as the public face of that class of right-to-work employees who used company resources to tell upwards of 1/5 of his coworkers that they were genetically unsuited for their jobs because of the color of their skin or their vag-having.

      I’m pretty sure Google’s insurance premiums would have gone up measurably if they hadn’t fired him.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      In response to the lawsuit, Google kept it brief. “We look forward to defending against Mr. Damore’s lawsuit in court,” a Google spokesperson said in a statement.

      Translation.

      https://pa1.narvii.com/5929/5ef863fd269bd6c1223459838548606ca3f24c55_hq.gif

    • Doug Langley

      I can’t wait till he reaches his 50s and finds out he can’t buy himself a tech job.

      • Ling Ling

        Will not need to wait nearly that long.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “People don’t want to out themselves as conservatives,”

      Go work for Peter Thiel.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And while I don’t think she should run (for POTUS anyway–I could see supporting a Congressional run from her), this is pissing me off as well:

    https://twitter.com/VABVOX/status/950511690055143425

  • Michael R
    • yyyaz

      Trucker speed will give your willie a flat.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Yecch! If I were dieting, I’d keep this little jewel handy.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        Not just regular diet.

        Also works for a “masturbating diet.”

        • puredog

          This interests me, and I would humbly ask to be allowed to subscribe to your newsletter.

          • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

            I meant more “cutting down on it,” not “doing it to lose weight.”

            But then again, there could be some real money shots in this idea!

  • goonemeritus

    Well I always had warm feelings towards Oprah but now that I know she is a top globalist, a top eugenicist, who pushes a one world religion through her private foundation I’m all in on Team Oprah.

    • Sheepshagger

      Plus have you seen her skin? It’s amazing.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    Senator, could you try actually focusing on the question rather than just repeating the same flapdoodle?

    https://twitter.com/RileySnyder/status/950495011442864128

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You know, the ones who are already here. Sure, we’re going to try to throw them out, but we need to protect them from other illegal immigrants before we do that.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        You know, the WHITE ones who are already here

        ftfy

    • Parakeetist

      Senator Flapdoodle! Could you herg bog zing bing herdaboodle?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      This is really convenient, because the border will never, ever, be secure enough. So we are off the hook when it comes to the immigration problem.

  • CripesAmighty

    BINGO! Shrink on Melber nails it: “We shouldn’t be medicalizing bad behavior,” was his final point after explaining that Trump is an existential threat not because he is mentally ill, but because he is a bad, evil person.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Isn’t Trump weaponizing it?

    • Paperless Tiger

      I think the question would be, how bad? Is he saying Hitler wasn’t crazy?

    • Rick Hill

      So, he doesn’t belive in medical solutions for alcoholism, obesity or smoking? That sure would save the health care system a ton of money

      • CripesAmighty

        No, what he means is that some people are just irredeemable, vicious, rotten shits, and the only solution is to limit the damage they can do to others.

    • Parakeetist

      Not all mental illnesses are easily detectable, like the ones where you see or hear things that aren’t there. Just thought I’d throw that out there.

      • CripesAmighty

        True. But in Trump’s case it’s just right out front: he’s a nasty, greedy, vicious moron. Trying to diagnose him is to excuse his revolting, reprehensible character.

  • Martini A, very stable genius

    It’s weird, ‘cause you’ll look at a picture of this guy and you’d swear he’s totally not a racist.
    https://twitter.com/RawStory/status/950466761165504517?ref_src=twcamp%5Eshare%7Ctwsrc%5Em5%7Ctwgr%5Eemail%7Ctwcon%5E7046%7Ctwterm%5E3

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Looks like this guy can’t handle bacon cheeseburgers

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Not his fault, it’s his genetics. I blame his parents.

        • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

          Obviously, they too were made of bacon.

    • TJ Barke

      What a well informed person…

    • Rick Hill

      Does that mean he wants to bogart all the good stuff?

    • hudson

      thank you massa.

    • Parakeetist

      Fucking trash

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Well, he’s got a point. It was genetics that gave them that brown skin that he doesn’t like.

    • yyyaz

      Fat cracker has never met a black musician obvsly.

    • tehbaddr

      How much would you bet that old line racist has some “black” genes in his bloodline?

      • yyyaz

        We all do. Africa is where homo sapiens originated. I wish people could get this through their thick fucking heads.

    • lunar62

      Call me crazy, but isn’t judging people strictly on their looks a bad thing? Yeah he’s old, white and male but unless there are white sheets and pointy hats involved, how can you tell by looking? I know a bunch of old white guys who look like this who aren’t racist. Guy kind of looks like my husband (also not racist).

      • Lord Jim

        Maybe it has something to do with the RACIST MYTH he is propounding.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Maybe because he says that black people can’t handle marijuana? Like a racist white person would say?

      • Martini A, very stable genius

        Ok, fair enough.

  • jaspersdad
    • Anna Rompage

      Human sized mouse trap? Or new travel chair with built in awning?

      • jaspersdad

        Yes?

        • Tishalicious

          AOT,K! ^_^

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Can’t wait to see the Ivanka Trump knockoff.

    • Michael R

      Needs more egg carton .

    • Mary Theresa

      Ummm, no!

    • Ling Ling

      That will be fun on BART.

    • tehbaddr

      Fashionable? Certainly to cumbersome!

    • yyyaz

      Fashion designers have just discovered acid and Led Zeppelin?

    • Juan de Fuca
    • WannabeTraveler

      That’s worse than a Project Runway project from a dollar store.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Worst. Retail. Uniform. Ever.

    • Doug Langley

      Amazing how slim those jetpacks are becoming.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      Trump Tie + hot water bottle + Ikea coffee table + Yes Men Survivaball™

    • SayItWithWookies

      “What the hell kind of model is that?”
      “It’s a boy. What do we do with it?”
      “Throw any old shit on it — nobody looks at them anyway.”

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Bored Panda has some of the most predictably annoying clickbait headlines ever, but I do love images of dogs and cats that just came back from the vet.

  • Anna Rompage

    Trump Speaks At Fourth-Grade Level, Lowest Of Last 15 U.S. Presidents,

    Are you smarter than the 4th grader that’s occupying the White House? My guess would be a resounding YES!

  • Nounverb911

    He then told Zinke he could drill on it.
    https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/950509909787004928

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Were any of the non-crackpot members of the family invited?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The park will feature a statue of James Earl Ray. Be sure to attend their annual Gun Appreciation Day on January 15.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Well, there were some very good people on both sides. They should all be represented.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Lord Jim

      TTFN! :D

    • calliecallie

      I have a confession to make. My family and I went to Oahu for Christmas. I kind of kept it to myself, because it seems so extravagant. I’ve never been before. It was a great vacation and the family had a fine time.

      But, as a result, my respect for Obama has risen tenfold. He grew up on that lovely island, and yet chose to go to the snowy east coast for school, chose to live in heartland Illinois and become a senator, chose to give eight years of his life and health to run this country despite all the crap they gave him.

      If I had grown up on that lovely island, maybe – MAYBE! – I would have gone to California for college, just to get off the rock for a bit, and then I would have gone back to the island and never thought twice about the rest of the world again.

      I don’t know what kind of special person it takes to grow up in paradise and let go of that to help the rest of us. It really is amazing to me.

      Mahalo, Obama!

  • proudgrampa

    Happy B-day, David! Here’s my favorite song of his:

    https://youtu.be/iYYRH4apXDo

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    ugh ptui I read an Alex Jones post why did I do that.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I glanced over it, until I got to the magic words “open thread”.

  • Johnatx

    Bye all

    • hudson

      good night

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Later!

    • Doug Langley

      ‘Night.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Night, and sleep well.

  • Rick Hill

    And, the heating fun goes on. Now, our building owner, apparently, has the heat so it only runs in the day, and, since it reached a high of 35 whopping degrees today, only turns it on when it’s below freezing. Which, actually, the building is colder on a forty degree day, without heat than on a below zero day with the heat on. I’ve talked with the kid, a millennial, and he’s actually very liberal but when his building requires anything that costs money, something that people expect for the rent they pay to be here….suddenly he’s Snidely Romneylash.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Most municiple heating statutes require that it be at least 65º 10 inches off the floor. Don’t talk to him. Turn him the fuck in.

      • msanthropesmr

        Two words
        Rent escrow

        • Rick Hill

          Yeah, I know. Maybe as soon as I’m all the way on my feet and can, not only make my rent payments on time but move if he actually does raise the rent by %33 as he tried to do a year ago. Also, not really certain what he intends, long term. He wanted to open an event center in the building, the city shut him down post haste. He lost his backer, I heard from a girl who used the same lawyer he does that he bought the building on a five year land contract and is making interest only payments. It’s been three years now and I don’t know if he’ll default and turn the building back over to the former owner…who is divesting all their real estate holdings as they get older.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “has the heat so it only runs in the day”

      Once you figure out why, can you tell my why starbucks never has decaf after dark?

      • msanthropesmr

        Starbucks sucks

        • Like Really Smart Radio

          Well, that usually costs extra

      • Rick Hill

        The majority of businesses here are only daytime, he’s trying to save money. Which, we all understand being cost effective and energy conscious but the thing is, he puts it all on us. He doesn’t invest in insulation or anything that would stop the major air infiltration in this building or the like, at all. It was a class “d” property when we moved in but he’s trying to raise the rent to class “a” levels

      • Doug Langley

        And this bothers you why?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i want evening coffee, but not caffeinated coffee.

          • Doug Langley

            Ah.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            Get a decaf Americano.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Tacos: if you’re like me (and come on, who isn’t? I’m normal, I tell you, NORMAL!) and love drinking coffee but have to switch to decaf after a certain time or be up all night, order your decaf americano. That way you get a fresh cup and not something that’s been swirling around the bottom of the pot for 4 hours. :)

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          they keep offering to do that for me and I kept wondering why.

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            Take em up on it! I think they’re americanos are actually cheaper than a straight cup of joe.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Take him to court

    • WannabeTraveler

      Canada has laws about heat for tenants,,,,, is there any protections in your state?

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Dox and shame him.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    shorter AJ: Oprah is one of Those People.

    also: can we shoot Zuckerberg and everything Facebook-related into the sun right fucking now?

    • CripesAmighty

      A hearty A-fucking-men to point #2.

  • Jackie Jones

    Also too, she pushes another “new age” movie on the innocents. This one is about a bear and a honeypot. Socialist.

    • Carpe Vagenda
      • Jackie Jones

        LOL! The illiteracy of this regime and its sychophants astounds me. Alex is 43. He never heard of A Wrinkle in Time?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          It’s a book. About a girl and old ladies and unpopular smart people. Where the thugs are the bad guys and you have to have a basic grasp of ethics to understand why.

          • Jackie Jones

            Of course, of course. Also the Dad is a scientist. Which is pretty much communist.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            If I recall correctly, so is the mom?

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            Yes, a microbiologist.

          • Ellie

            And worst of all, it was written by an Episcopalian. I’m sure he’d never read anything written by a member of The Dark Side.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Right, of course. Because the Queen is a lizard person, yes? Which explains why her grandson is marrying a successful young woman with the standard number of ancestors.

        • janecita

          Sad:-( It was required reading for my daughter’s 7th grade class last year. She is looking forward to watching the movie.

  • BlueDawg

    GOOOOOO DAWGS! SIC ‘EM!
    WOOF WOOF WOOF!

    • puredog

      You may want to dial up the meds a tad.

  • Werewolf

    I didn’t think Oprah was a (((globalist))).

    • TJ Barke

      Just a cucked (((globalist))) pawn, or something.

  • Nounverb911
  • Slamtundra

    Hey, Beyonce hasn’t murdered me yet. I mean, if I’m gonna be murdered, she’d be one of my top choices to do it.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I guess one positive about Oprah running would be that she could self-finance.

    • Doug Langley

      So could Trump and look where that went.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Trump didn’t self finance shit

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m not her biggest fan. But definitely another positive is that she’s not a stupid, batshit insane person.

      • WannabeTraveler

        Her heart would be in the right place, she has just gotten a little self righteous. I still love her.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          As I said, she’s really not my cup of tea. She’s a bit too woo for me. But she’s very intelligent, and sane. I could live with that.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Sane. At this point, will be my deciding factor in the voting booth

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      was gonna say – somebody wiht more money than Trump…

  • msanthropesmr

    Hoppin John and greens are even better as leftovers

  • janecita

    Stephanie Ruhle for President! Stephen Colbert could be her running mate.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Can Jon Stewart be press secretary?

      • janecita

        Of course! Samantha Bee can be U.N. ambassador.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          And John Oliver can be the ambassador to the UK.

        • CripesAmighty

          Now Ruhle for Treasury Sec? That’ll work.

    • CripesAmighty

      No. More. TV. People.

      • janecita

        I’m obviously kidding, but in the great scheme of things, at least Ruhle is smarter and way more prepared than Trump.

        • CripesAmighty

          That’s an understatement.

  • Bananas Foster

    Had the job interview.

    It really didn’t feel like it went well. I fully admit that I lack experience in their little niche of the profession and I didn’t lie about that on the application.

    They hammered me on it in the interview. (I interviewed simultaneously with four people. Always fun.)

    I managed not to get defensive, but juuuuuuuust barely. Oh well. It was a whim anyway.

    • Nounverb911

      Here’s hoping…

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      I dunno – interviews are weird. The ones where I thought I aced it were ones I didn’t get the job. Conversely, I thought I did awful at the interview for the job I have had for the last 4 years.

      • Bananas Foster

        I know that dynamic. It’s possible that’s what’s going on.

        I just wish I could get out of my head. The interview is over. I really don’t look forward to replaying it in my head for the next week.

        • WannabeTraveler

          Are you doing,,, I wish I had said this ,,, or that instead in your head? That repetitive,,,,,, if only,,,, or I should have.. I hate that feeling!

          • Bananas Foster

            Yep.

          • WannabeTraveler

            If I can’t get out of my head,,, I go for a run, which in some cases makes it worse. The other is find an album I haven’t listened to in forever, from a happy time in life,,,, and it can put you into a different frame of mind. Well at least it can for me. lol

          • Bananas Foster

            Music works for me too.

            I have to run a group this evening. I’m waiting to relax with a drink after that. I’ll add music to the mix!

      • Doug Langley

        ^^ This.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Uggh, the waiting. Good luck!

      • Bananas Foster

        Thanks!

        I have a job that I like, so I’m not stressing, except to torture myself about my answers.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Don’t. That’s a universal reaction. We all feel idiotic after job interviews. I’m sure you did better than you think you did.

        • Jacob DiCiaula

          I’d tell you not to, but I’m sure you’ll wake up tonight with the perfect answer.

          I’m equally sure you were professional, gave great answers, and the chips will fall where they may!

  • Nounverb911
  • rocktonsam

    “Do we still have to cover Alex Jones 2018?”

    Like the Rosato brothers…

    “Small potatoes.”
    – H.Roth.

  • Nounverb911
    • hudson

      pattern.

    • msanthropesmr

      Exchanging stupid for more stupid?

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Exchanging stupid for treasonous stupid.

      • Lord Jim

        Moar Nazi.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Are they supposed to be trading up or down?

        • WannabeTraveler

          How could you tell at fox?

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          Sideways.

    • TJ Barke

      Y’all hear that clomping sound?

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    My 9 year old (home from school for weather) informed me today that, since he’s going to be an admiral, I should be one too. I told him the army doesnt have admirals, and that I’m going to be an army lawyer. He says that he thought I was in the ‘big trucks’ (strykers). I say I was, but I want to do lawyer stuff now.

    He thinks on it, looks at me, and confidently informs me that I can just take a few tests and I’ll be a general and fighter. Complete confidence in something he knows nothing about :).

    That said, I’ll be immensely proud if he gets through a branch enlistment or commissioning school. I’ll be that guy waving, taking pictures, trying not to cry. Then, after the ceremony… I’ll smoke him to death :)

    • Me not sure

      Sounds like a little go-getter.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        When your 9 year old calls you a POG…

    • Tishalicious

      Are you going to make Triceratom some little medals?

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Haha, that’s a good idea! I think my actual ARCOM ribbon is attached to a stuffed animal somewhere. Next thing I know, I’ll be doing award ceremonies for stuffed penguins:)

        • Tishalicious

          They’ll stand at attention so nicely!!

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            I walked into that, well done :)

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m sure you’ll be immensely proud of whatever he eventually chooses to do. You sound like that kind of guy. I mean this as a compliment.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Haha I’m immensely proud he got a good student award that included a coupon for the subway sandwich he got tonight :)

  • Me not sure

    In other news: The Secret Service saved the President from near certain death today when they wrestled a Big Mac, two Filet-o-Fish sandwiches, a large order of fries and a jumbo Diet Coke to the ground. The rest of the order was allowed to pass unmolested.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And the rest of the order escaped with a flurush

    • msanthropesmr

      Fake news. No one ever orders filet o fish

      • Me not sure

        …and survives.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        On the road, Friday, Lent.

        I’m Hoping for purgatory, and that’s evidence in mitigation

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        Donad The Genius might because “It can’t be poisoned, because nobody except me ever orders one”

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        /me LIKES Filet-O-fish, but prefers the Harvey’s fish sandwich because he can get it with cheese AND bacon.

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    I’ve reached the fun stage of smoking cessation where I just needed to sleep all day. Weird. But today makes two weeks.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Keep up the good work

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk
      • Like Really Smart Radio

        That unicorn has a perky ass!

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          Now I can’t stop looking at the unicorns ass.

    • hudson

      nice. yayy. partaay!!

    • Lord Jim

      I had that all-day-in-bed day yesterday. Except it wasn’t related to smoking cessation. More like some evil microbe that tore thru my system. :)

      • WannabeTraveler

        ugh

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Oof, I hope you’re feeling better!

        • Lord Jim

          I can bear to sit up in a chair today, so that’s a big plus!

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            That IS a big plus! Take care of yourself, LJ

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        me2 all day sat, sun, and today. Tomorrow, gunnu shoot for going back to work. I hope.

        • Lord Jim

          Not exactly the kind of “lost weekend” you would have chosen? *ducks*

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            Whoever infected me with this, I want their head on a pole.

    • WannabeTraveler

      Very happy for you,,,,

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      I was gonna post something snarky but hell, the housemate has been clean for around four YEARS, and it’s still a fight every day.
      So instead I’ll say, good going! Now you know you can do it!

  • Rick Hill

    trump will allow NASA to continue to be funded…contingent upon meeting his conditions…
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/ax1EqP1_460s.jpg

  • hudson

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSEvatYTgyY

    lindsey graham same adjectives different verbs.

    • Ellie

      He’s a smarmy little git who will say whatever he thinks will go over the best with his current audience.

      • CripesAmighty

        They are all such breathtakingly craven little toads. The lot of them.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “To quote myself…”

  • Picabo
    • CripesAmighty

      And, heeeeeeere they are!

    • Rick Hill

      “Now, the girls are back. The first question: What was the first thing you said on your wedding night?”
      Girl #1-“Gee…that’s a hard one…”

    • Sakonyachen

      Every time I hear his name I think it’s Bob Uecker. Nothing against either but they are vastly different.

  • Nounverb911
  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Bigly smart jesterpunk
    • Rick Hill

      Well then, not a politician. Maybe if he was the mayor of East Dogpatch…

    • Miles Monroe

      Oh, sure–totally unsolicited, no doubt.

      Fuck you, Maggie.

    • TJ Barke

      He doesn’t speak with authenticity at all, he speaks in gibbering incoherent platitudes. If people hear anything in that, it’s whatever they want to hear.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        This.

        More dispatches from Wingnuttia:
        So according to wingnut talking points, Trump doesn’t really mean anything in his twitter feed. He just rage tweets every goddamn day to manipulate the stupid libtard media.

        But hasn’t Trump and his ballwasher’s insisted that his Twitter feed is him speaking directly to his supporters? FWIW, I can believe he doesn’t really believe what he tweets, he’s just putting on a three-ring circus for his supporters. I guess he would be authentic in his craven shitweasel lying.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Also too:
        “He’s not an idiot.”

        “Right? He just plays one on tv?”

    • janecita

      My mother in law also speaks in an “authentic and genuine way,” she has Alzheimer’s.

    • Rick Hill

      Translation: “I just got a tax cut…oh, boy, did I just get a tax cut…just as long as you meddling kids don’t fck it up.

    • Bananas Foster

      You know what a friend/colleague/family member has never had to do for me?

      Defend my intelligence.

      Much less in an open letter.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Say, Maggie, you know who else knew Trump in college and weighed in on his mental health?

      […]Professor Kelley told me 100 times over three decades that “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddam student I ever had.” I remember his emphasis and inflection — it went like this: “Donald Trump was the dumbest goddamn student I ever had.” Kelley told me this after Trump had become a celebrity, but long before he was considered a political figure. Kelley often referred to Trump’s arrogance when he told the story that Trump came to Wharton thinking he already knew everything.

      https://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/former-wharton-professor-trump-was-dumbest-gddam-student-i-ever-had

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      If he believes the way he talks this way because Americans “understand and appreciate” then fuck our country is even fucking dumber than I thought.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Unsolicited my ass

      • Rick Hill

        It’s troo! Here, we even have an unsolicited photo of his friend…
        https://s17.postimg.org/nv0ti9f4v/Ch5uz2_CWs_AAOLQK.jpg

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Oh, THAT cat. I met him at a party with John Miller and John Barron.

        • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

          Caption: “Steve Bannon taught me everything”

    • hudson

      certificate of character. for the president!! the brits had this system for serfs.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Yeah, the guy most famous for speaking in catchphrases instead of sentences is doing a great job of avoiding platitudes.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Let’s see, Mags. A quick google search reveals that Lauder is a rich guy who unequivocally supports Israel and is very hawkish on Iran. I wonder why he would come to Trump’s defense?

      • ariel_gee_398

        He also pretends to care about eradicating Alzheimer’s, so double fuck this guy.

    • Ellie

      Ambassador, I am an American. I do not appreciate Donnie the Dotard. I say it’s spinach and I say the hell with it.

      • ariel_gee_398

        You just don’t have a sense of what average Americans feel, unlike the heir to the Estee Lauder fortune.

    • hudson

      mr. lauder’s valiant effort to dress up the pig in pink lipstick.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Stable genius is not authentic and genuine. Well, actually it is, but it’s a word combination that does not exist in nature and shares the hell out of us.

    • Michael R

      Here’s a perfect example :

      “Together we’re going to deliver real change that once again puts Americans first,” Trump said at an October rally in Florida. “That begins with immediately repealing and replacing the disaster known as Obamacare…You’re going to have such great health care, at a tiny fraction of the cost—and it’s going to be so easy.”

      • Lord Jim

        “Everyone’s gonna be covered and the government is gonna pay for it.” – interview with Chris Wallace

        • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

          Trump in Sept 2016: “We have 41 days to make possible every dream you’ve ever dreamed.”

          COOL STORY BRO

    • Nounverb911

      I read on the internets that Lauder cosmetics are the number one cause of zits and rich guys being stupid.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie….

      As a Republican, he made a bid to become the mayor of New York City in 1989, losing to Rudy Giuliani in the Republican primary. Michael Massing, writing of this nomination race, notes that politically Lauder ‘seemed out of step with most American Jews; … he ran to the right of Rudolph Giuliani. And, on Israeli issues, he was a vocal supporter of the Likud party, with long-standing ties to Benjamin Netanyahu.”

      He ran to the right of Rudy Giuliani, people.

    • Stinky_Hole

      “A man of incredible insight and intelligence”? Show me an example of either.
      And exactly how does that remark address his ‘mental health’?
      “Impossible-to-believe” is the definition of incredible, so maybe damning with faint praise.

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      ‘Unsolicited.’
      So whattaya figure? Did Donnie write it, like he did his ‘medical report,’ or does ‘unsolicited’ really mean ‘coerced’?

  • altleftjohn

    Don’t insult the mentally ill by calling Trump mentally ill, says shrink.

    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/2/10/14551890/trump-mental-health-narcissistic-personality

    • BreakingDeadMen

      He’s crashed and burned a bunch of times.

    • Bananas Foster

      That fucking article starts with this sentence:

      Allen Frances is a psychiatrist who wrote the rules for diagnosing personality disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The DSM is the No. 1 tool mental health professionals have for making diagnoses.

      Which shows that the writer doesn’t know enough about the subject to write the article.

      The number one tool is time with the client and doing a thorough history. The DSM is very handy when it comes to billing codes.

      • CripesAmighty

        Saw him on Melber earlier. His essential point was to “stop medicalizing bad behavior”. Trump is an existential menace not because he is mentally ill. but because he is, at his very core, greedy, vicious and stupid. He is a reprobate. He is a thoroughly bad person with no redeeming qualities, whatsoever.

        • Bananas Foster

          I agree with all that.

          I think he’s mentally ill too. He just screams bipolar to me.

          Which, doesn’t make me all that happy, because I’m pretty open about being bipolar.

          Being bipolar is relevant to the job of the president if he can’t control his reckless behavior.

      • altleftjohn

        I know at least two clinical psychologists and one psychiatrist who agree with you about the limited value of the DSM. I wouldn’t expect the average journalist to know this, so I don’t fault the story that much. I only cited the story to highlight the idea that people with emotional or mental problems are not generally assholes, whereas Trump is. I leave it to the pros to pass judgment on Trump.

        • Bananas Foster

          I wasn’t jumping on you at all. I just got ragey reading the very first sentence.

          I hate it when journalists write about shit they have absolutely no mastery of.

          • altleftjohn

            Yep. “Journalism doth make dullards of us all.” – Aldous Huxley

    • Paperless Tiger

      It should be evident by now that we’re all a little crazy, so I call fair game.

    • Lefty Wright

      I think that any diagnosis of a mental illness should be supported by as much observation and background information as possible. And there are thousands of hours of recordings and reams of information on Donald Trump. Yet we are to believe that in most cases, a few 45 minute consultations in a psychologist’s or psychiatrist’s office is a better gauge of reaching a diagnosis. No, I think that an extensive 40 year history of actions and behaviors Trumps four hours of in office interviews with a patient.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Call him a liar, call him evil, call him a threat to democracy, call
      him impulsive, call him ignorant — these labels are all absolutely true —
      but saying he has a mental disorder doesn’t really add force to the
      argument,” Frances says.

      Why not–ALL OF IT, KATIE!!!!!!?

      We’re trying to give a full picture of just why Trump shouldn’t have been elected to office in the first place. He’s a liar, he’s stupid, his impulsive, petty, and on top of all of that he clearly suffers from some mental decline.

      There’s nothing wrong with being mentally ill, by itself. That’s not what anybody questioning his mental stability is trying to suggest. If someone has a mental disorder of some sort (bipolar maybe) that doesn’t disqualify them if they can still maintain a healthy lifestyle and responsibilities to others. But Trump–minus any mental instability–clearly is not in that category of people with mental disorders. His fuckedupness alone would be COMPOUNDED by any mental disorders.

  • Michael R
    • Christopher Story

      Now we know who plays him in the inevitable movie about all this

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Fuck Donald Trump. With sharp, pointy votes. This is appalling.

    http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-na-pol-elsalvador-decision-20180108-story.html

    • I really hope, if anyone tries to run to Canada, that they do it safely. It’s fucking cold here this winter

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I would be okay. Lordy knows I ain’t rich, but I’m not desperate either. It’s the refugees who were attempting to escape the US to Canada who broke my damn heart last year. And the kindness of the Canadians. Including the cops.

        • Jacob DiCiaula

          It’s awful. But, evangelicals giving full support to a know- nothing campaign that’s only ideological consistency was turning away the poor travelers… my fault for thinking folks had principles

          • WomanInThePersistence

            While I don’t think that all evangelicals are simply awful Christians, too many of them are. And they should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

    • Lefty Wright

      Right. It should not be too hard for them to readapt to a country they have not been in for 20 years, with some of them in diapers when they fled. Bootstraps, you know. Get some.

  • FDRliberal

    Trump’s defenders: “He does so read!” “He can listen!” “He is not insane!”

    Reality: “He doesn’t read, he never listens and he’s batshit insane. Oh, and he’s fucking moron”.

    https://twitter.com/TeaPainUSA/status/950354881088548864

    • Thiazin Red

      I’m pretty sure the rule is if you find yourself saying “X is not insane” more than once, its fucking crazy.

    • TJ Barke

      Pompeo is a taint licking sycophant.

  • nightmoth

    Just to remind everyone what’s at stake with Trump and his anti-science minions in control: we’re having record low temps in the USA while Australia is having a record heat wave. Extremes in climate: that’s what “climate change” is all about. Today, hundreds of baby bats fell out of the air dead in New South Wales. We have GOT to get these idiots out of office. https://www.livescience.com/61372-boiled-bats-australia.html

    • WannabeTraveler

      I think that is the worse thing about his presidency. Its all fine that Americans elected him and have to live with his policies, but he is hell bent on destroying the planet. Its so frustrating!!!!

  • Picabo
    • Cousin Itt, hoi polloi

      PBUH

    • Miles Monroe

      Now pining for the fjords …

    • wait! what?

      I hear the spam council had him canned…

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      1941? That’s silly.

  • Doug Langley

    It’s been a strange few days.

    Went to the gym last Saturday. Very good workout, took it easy. Weighed myself and I’ve lost weight. Not intentionally! Down to 177. Yet today I starting to let my belt out another notch. Am I getting fatter?? My appetite’s been roaring in the past months, mostly because I was doing physical labor, but why hasn’t it subsided?

    More mysterious. Last week went to bed, felt fine. Got up in the middle of night as I always do. Feet hit the floor and OUCH!!! My left heel was super painful. No idea what happened. Had the pain since, it comes and goes. No bruises, nothing. Then a couple days later my right heel did exactly the same thing. When I’m walking it’s not bad, but sit or lie a while and it’s a killer. I’m guessing it’s psychosomatic, but who knows?

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Some of that sounds like diabetes symptoms……

      • Doug Langley

        Don’t see how. Had a checkup couple months ago and my pre-diabetes score had dropped. Doc very happy.

        • Jeffocaster in the West

          Just a shot in the dark. I have some of those symptoms cause of diabetes.

          • Doug Langley

            My diet has been really different lately, because of getting cheap stuff, candy at Christmas, and the stuff from food bank that I normally don’t eat.

        • BJW

          I don’t know how old you are. But the bad cold here has aggravated my right Achille’s tendon and tendons in my knees. In the summer, I don’t feel much pain. Lately I’ve been in agony.

          • Doug Langley

            61. Pain doesn’t seem temperature related.

          • BJW

            Hmm. Hope everything will be all right. I know when I have something puzzling happening it’s frustrating. Most of my bad stuff can be subsumed under the heading “fibromyalgia.” Although I’m apparently getting osteoarthritis.

            I always hope for everyone to feel good and not be in pain. So I will hope that for you. (I am not quite your age, I’m nearly 59.)

          • Doug Langley

            I’ve had my body do very strange things before solely from stress. Heart arthymia at one, a few years later heart palpitations. Docs poked and prodded and said they were benign. Had insect bites on my ankles and legs for years, could not figure it out, until realized it had to from worry and bam, they went away. Extremely stressful year, was expecting something to happen.

          • BJW

            I’ve had something similar in the past from hives. I hope your stress goes down and stays down. Not sure having Donnie in office is helping any of us. No, it’s not helping.

    • Ellie

      Heel spur? No, I’m not being funny; I actually did have one.

      • Rick Hill

        Well, I was going to say that but to be funny(’cause that’s how I roll…)

      • Doug Langley

        But two at the same time??

        • Ellie

          No reason you can’t have them on both feet and they don’t necessarily hurt all the time. There are lots of other things of course, but I still remember stepping out of bed that first time – thought someone had shoved a railroad spike through my heel.

    • memzilla Ω

      Your body is trying to keep you out of the Vietnam War.

      • wait! what?

        …the second one.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      Plantar fasciitis, maybe, but get your blood sugar checked again if you can

      • WannabeTraveler

        Definitely sounds like plantar fasciitis.

        • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

          Yep that pain on the first step

          • Stable Genius Demme

            Especially at night.
            Make sure you are wearing good shoes, too.
            (If it was summer-time, I’d tell you to ditch the flip-flops.)

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      the foot pain sounds like plantar fasciitis; try stretching your feet & rolling the bottoms on a rolling pin or tennis ball before even getting out of bed.
      the plantar fascii stiffen up when sitting or sleeping, and the first few steps tears it. stretching it out first helps prevent that.
      dunno about the weight stuff….

    • Shibusa

      Possibly achilles tendinitis? I had once years ago when I was still running. It hurt. Think about getting a new pair of shoes if the old ones have worn-down cushioning.

    • Stable Genius Demme

      Not psychosomatic!
      (Plantar fasciitis pain is real, even though it seems out of proportion with the lack of bruising or swelling present.)

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Others have addressed the foot pain, so I’ll mention that when you work out, do a lot of physical labour, your body can change shape in unexpected ways. Sounds to me like you’re building core strength, so the muscles around your waist are thickening some.

  • Nounverb911
    • Jeffocaster in the West

      That would be funny if it weren’t so depressing…..

  • Me not sure

    Bob Corker rode to Nashville on Air Force One with Trump today. I’ll bet the “pillow talk” was really interesting. Corker will have a hard time getting the pee
    out of his suit

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Corker better be mindful of the teeth with all the turbulence.

      • Me not sure

        “Hey Bob, you’ve got something orange between your teeth.”

        • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

          “What is that? Baby carrots, or an orange tic-tac?”

          “Yes”

          • Me not sure

            “I’d floss just to be on the safe side,”

          • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

            “Just don’t use Trump’s penis, this time”

    • CripesAmighty

      Rev up the suck-up.

    • Shibusa

      “I’ve got your Corker Kickback right here, Bobby.”

  • Lefty Wright

    I don’t believe it. Alex seems like such a nice guy!! Someone probably hacked into his show and overdubbed his voice.

  • JaveyDay
  • 3FingerPete

    If you thought Louis Gohmert’s Uranium 1 map was intricate you should check out the #Qanon map detailing the Deep State/Child-Trafficking Satan Worshipers connections. It’s like a Where’s Waldo puzzle for the Red Pill Woke folks.

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EcEnfWE4PDEIq4y-gey0QjJZH-5-1Uly/view

    • proudgrampa

      Don’t know if you noticed, but at the center of it all is the “Military-Industrial Complex.”

      • wait! what?

        Does that mean when they’re overthrown it will be a mic drop?

    • wait! what?

      You have to admit that you’d never have made the connection between King Solomon’s temple and the Roswell UFO crash without it…

      • 3FingerPete

        I must admit I did not know Pizzagate was all about the Adrenochrome.

  • Nounverb911
  • WomanInThePersistence
    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Whether you like her or not, it was a damn good speech.

  • Jennifer R

    It’s Jenny’s happy time trans news half hour hour corner round table.
    https://mobile.twitter.com/TransEquality/status/950492530038202369

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Holy cow.

    Netanyahu’s charming ironic nazi kid said something stupid on tape.

    That didn’t take long

    Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s son Yair Netanyahu was recorded telling the son of Israeli businessman and gas tycoon Kobi Maimon outside a strip club that the prime minister set up $20 billion for the latter’s father, according to a report on Israel Television News Company Monday.

    “My dad set up 20 billion dollars for your dad, and you’re fighting with me about 400 shekels [about $115]?” said Yair in the 2015 recording of the conversation with his friend, upon leaving the strip club. Netanyahu later said the 400 shekels was for a prostitute.

    The 2015 conversation was with the son of Kobi Maimon, a real estate mogul and a shareholder in Isramco, which owns Israel’s offshore Tamar gas fields. Also present was Roman Abramov, the Israeli liaison of Australian billionaire James Packer.

    According to the report, the two ended up at Packer’s apartment at the Royal Beach hotel in Tel Aviv. A state-funded security guard and driver accompanied Netanyahu and his friends from one strip club to another.

    A lawyer for Netanyahu’s family on Monday demanded the Israel Television News Company not air the tape in which Yair was heard talking to his friends outside a strip club.

    https://twitter.com/NTarnopolsky/status/950403974213054464

    • yyyaz

      Take ALL of the fucking oligarchs DOWN!

      • bbayliss

        Declare Russia a rogue state

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Classy

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, I’m not being hyperbolic at all.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d3e0a0edd7a276de8cb32ce16a3801858b5bf0dc7599038082d2462724a7b0b2.png

        It would be almost heartwarming to watch the Trump and Netanyahu clans make common cause with each other, if only those bonds weren’t aligned along the worst side of their natures.

        Exhibit A: Saturday’s decision by Yair Netanyahu, the prime minister’s son, to post to his Facebook page a version of the internet’s most widely disseminated anti-Semitic meme…

        In this case young Netanyahu placed himself, his father, and the raft of right-wing Jewish leaders who refused to comment on or condemn his actions, in bed with the key bottom-feeders among America’s aspiring Nazis and white supremacists.

        Ku Klux Klan dinosaur David Duke gushed, “Welcome to the club, Yair – absolutely amazing, wow, just wow.”

        “A total bro,” swooned the Nazi wannabe Daily Stormer, in a post titled, “Netanyahu’s Son Posts Awesome Meme Blaming the Jews for Bringing Down his Jew Father.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          This is absolutely horrifying.

    • Stable Genius Demme

      One would normally expect a Trumpling to come out with something like that.
      I guess all entitled little shits are the same.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        He’s a Don Jr all the way.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s like a fucking cartoon…

      • Mentally Stable Ron

        Not a funny one, though.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He seems nice.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Hopefully thet also invested in Kushner Inc. These legacies are not the brightest bulbs.

    • Kooolest G

      “My dad set up 20 billion dollars for your dad, and you’re fighting with me about 400 shekels [about $115]?” said Yair in the 2015 recording of the conversation with his friend, upon leaving the strip club. Netanyahu later said the 400 shekels was for a prostitute.

      I don’t know a whole lot about israeli prostitutes, but $115 sounds pretty cheap for one, if these trust fund kids are as rich as they say they are couldn’t they spring for a prostitute that has all her teeth?

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    What’s everybody having for dinner? I was going to do a cod fasolada, but it might end up being a baked sweet potato because I am LAZY this evening.

    • msanthropesmr

      leftover hoppin john and greens and TimTams

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        Very southern of you! (I had to look up hoppin john AND timtams. I would like some timtams please)

        • msanthropesmr

          TimTams are way southern – from Australia, I believe.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            And very tasty.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Beans, maybe some meat…..chili goo…..bleh….

      • msanthropesmr

        You need an Instapot.

    • Nounverb911

      Not canned clams.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        YOU NOT MONSTER!!!!!

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Shepard’s pie.

      • Like Really Smart Radio

        That sounds soooo good, I haven’t had that in awhile. I’m gonna have to make that after I unpack my kitchen in the new place.

        • Bigly smart jesterpunk

          I couldn’t decide between that and tacos and shepherd’s pie won the vote. When will you be moved into your new place?

          • Like Really Smart Radio

            Friday! Just a few short days away. Can’t wait.

          • Bigly smart jesterpunk

            Oh nice, that is close. Are you all ready to move or still packing?

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Subway veggie sub

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Wild Mushroom and Prosciutto Lasagne

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        That sounds excellent. And elaborate for a Monday

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          It should go pretty quick. I did a bunch of the prep last night and started my mushrooms soaking this morning.