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Earlier today, our Doktor Zoom brought you the thrilling tale, Jake Tapper Disembowels Stephen Miller Then Wipes His Gut Blood On His Face Like In A Gross Horror Movie. It was really weird! Stephen Miller was being his usual OUTRAGED self and Jake Tapper just kinda went TO HELL with this.

Or maybe more like this, we just cannot decide!

After he filibustered and grievance-mongered and yowled and gesticulated, CNN security reportedly had to escort Miller out.

Thanks to Arden Farhi, a producer at CBS News, we have a transcript of Tapper continuing to sew Miller’s eyeballs onto a pooka-eyeball-shell necklace, and also:

This is why they don’t let you on TV, STEPHEN. Meanwhile, does Michael Wolff, King Bitch, have any observations on Stephen Miller and his persona? (We mean “his face”?) Surely does!

(Fire and Fury, Kindle page 307.)

Once again, we shall have to factcheck Wolff by searching the Wonkette wayback machine for “stephen miller outraged,” and give Wolff the prized WONKETTE FACTCHECK: TRUE! award.

JIM ACOSTA: This whole notion of … they have to learn English before they get to the United States. Are we just going to bring in people from Great Britain and Australia?

STEPHEN MILLER: Jim … I am SHOCKED at your statement that you think that only people from Great Britain and Australia would know English. … It reveals your COSMOPOLITAN BIAS to a SHOCKING DEGREE that in YOUR MIND … that you think that only people from Great Britain and Australia would speak English is SO INSULTING to millions of hard-working immigrants …

ACOSTA: It sounds like you’re trying to engineer the racial and ethnic flow of people into this country.

MILLER: Jim, that is one of the most OUTRAGEOUS, INSULTING, IGNORANT AND FOOLISH THINGS YOU’VE EVER SAID. And for you, that’s still … the notion that you think that this is a racist bill is SO wrong and SO insulting.

We will add that to the index as: Up, Francis lighten.

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  • eyelashviper

    It’s gonna happen someday, and I just hope that cameras and videos are rolling.
    Stephen Miller’s twitching will increase, become out of control, and his skin will crack, revealing a really disgusting form of vermin.

  • JMP

    You’re not offended, Nazi Steve, you’re offensive.

  • BigCSouthside

    Miller went out there for one thing only: to publicly execute Bannon for trump’s amusement.

    Not even sure why tapper booked him

    • eyelashviper

      Bread and circuses…look how many news reports there are now about their spat.

    • kareemachan

      My question about this on another site was does he or someone else make the booking decisions?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • JMP

      He also looks like a young clone of Donald’s boss.

    • JohnBull

      He’s 31? Even David Lee Roth looked better at 31 than this guy.

      • Keith Richards is less believable as a reanimated skeleton than Miller is

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          GMTA. I never remember to read down.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’ll bet his hand falls asleep when he tries to fap. He’s got the look of the terminally rejected.

        • coozledad

          The interaction I saw him having with a young woman made me suspect he has no concern about what women think of him. He didn’t seem to be able to process her disgust for him. Something is broke all to fuck about that boy.

          • SecludedCompound

            He’s basically the template for MRA types that have turned to right wing politics to try to get rid of the competition. It’s pretty obvious what motivates these guys.

            Also, Miller apparently pays for it. This is a prime motivator for me thinking that working girls should unionize.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Fuck me running, so did Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison and they were both dead before they were 30.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          And were alcoholics and heroin addicts.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        My friend Dorian Grey had a painting that looked just like that guy in his closet. It always creeped me out.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Even Keith Richards looked better at 34, than Miller does at 31.

        Keith Richards, 1975 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8384ac5223da9d66dc99e548dee4e64b84ae7eb6ac46b2f453ccc1bfb8b8f08c.jpg

      • Duncan Tweedy

        Stephen Miller is Montgomery Burns as a young man.

    • bupkus231

      How many people years are in a dog-whistle year?

    • Little Lulu Ω

      Okay, I’m submitting my Miller joke once again because:

      Stephen Miller goes to a psychiatrist in Washington, D.C. The doctor looks him over and asks him, “So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Miller?”

      “Well, this weird thing has been happening, and I was hoping maybe you could explain it to me,” Miller continues, smiling, “Every time I pass by a mirror and see myself or I see my reflection in a window, I get this absolutely incredible erection! Every time!”

      “Oh, that’s easy,” replies the psychiatrist. “You look like a pussy.”

  • TJ Barke

    WHY DOESN’T JAKE UNDERSTAND THAT DER FUHRER CANNOT BE CRITICIZED!? THAT NOT TO LOVE DER FUHRER IS A GREAT DISGRACE?

  • msanthropesmr

    Soooooo is a tape hit when the technician inhales some marijuana and we lose the signal? Or did Jake Tapper smack Miller upside the head with a video tape?

    • Jennaratrix

      I’ll take option 2 for the win, please.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m wondering too – never heard of that in my time in tv.

      • Donna Mueller

        used to be-“expletive deleted”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I assumed it was a typo and really a vape hit.

    • memzilla Ω

      Tape Hit Detection (pdf) – The ability to detect RF drop outs during tape ingest, including common issues of intermittent block-based line artifacts, shiny spots, mosaic patterns, partial line drop outs and field-based Chroma loss.

      • msanthropesmr

        I like my explanations better.

    • Marion in Savannah

      IK,R? I’ve been a transcriptionist for 35+ (almost 40) years and I have NEVER EVER heard this term of art. I’ve got no earthly idea what’s going on there.

      • Caepan

        Maybe the techs kept stopping the recording, only to restart it when Miller decided to shit his bed some more?

  • Indiepalin

    Who’s this character, Tape, and why does he keep stopping the interview to take a hit?

    • Oblios_Cap

      If you had Miller on your show, wouldn’t you?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, if you had to record that wouldn’t YOU try to get a wee bit twisted?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    i love the wonkettes – MUCHO – but to me the funniest part is stil where Tapper asks about the “Stable genius” tweet and Miller says, “it happens to be true” or some such.

    Bootlicker – that’s a boot licker move Miller.

    • bupkus231

      I think it’s something a bit more intimate than boots that are getting licked…

      • Christopher Story

        And I don’t think it’s licking…

  • Jenny

    So, anyone know what handle Miller uses on 4chan? You just know he spends his time posting bitch set me up stories on Reddit.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    I’m guessing/hoping that “(Tape takes a hit)” is industry slang for “host knees guest in the balls.” Maybe some cable news insiders can help me out??

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    p.s. Speaking of “fake news” – bets on whether Trump denies there was a fire in his tower?

    • Indiepalin

      Real_Trump: Trump Tower fire a terrorist attack!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        actually – i think you’re dead on. You read it here first!

    • gnomemansanisland

      Is that the new way to say crazy as shit? Fire in his tower?

  • fawkedifiknow

    Miller is the best the White House could do to reassure America that we aren’t being “led” by a batship crazy, pre-potty trained, brain-damaged infant? Really?

    • Hiss

      Upvoted for “batship crazy.” Am picturing this.

    • PubOption

      Nobody would believe Kellyanne Conway.

  • msanthropesmr
    • Like Really Smart Radio

      Good one!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Even Fred Durst (who?) was telling Trump on twitter to stop lying cause even he knew Tapper played Miller like a chump (hey) like a chump (hey).

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If Stephen Miller can’t make a graceful exit, imagine what Donald’s will be like FFS…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f8b750c9e15d32439fec35a8778c578442fac244c288d98078a3436fa7375d8a.jpg

  • Oblios_Cap

    It reveals your COSMOPOLITAN BIAS

    While I’m not terribly biased concerning Cosmopolitans, I will drink one on occasion.

  • WIDTAP

    Little Stevie Miller just made it to the top of my “Next to get Dumped by Trump” list.
    He’s got Trump’s attention now. He’s likely to be put out on other networks as a factotum. He will catch shit for pulling that crap with someone who will let him go on-and-on, making the Administration look desperate.

    Plus, he has a receding hairline, violating the number 1 Trump rule of only using the pretty people out front.

    • Ling Ling

      I dunno. KAC still on the team.

      • cmd resistor

        He’s got lots of unattractive folks out front for someone who supposedly cares so much about appearances.

      • WIDTAP

        Yeah, but she has been quiet of late and Kellywise the Dancing Clown hasn’t made a return to SNL, so she has dropped down my list on the lack of points.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Miller should stick to AM radio, where all the nutjobs hang out. He’s most definitely got the face for it.

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS

  • Victoria Ricola

    Lordy I hope there are tapes of Stephen Miller getting “escorted” out of the CNN offices by security like some kind of common drunk loudmouth at my local neighborhood alcohol consuming establishment.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Most places I hang out at don’t have that problem. One offense, and you are told to go elsewhere. If you make a scene, the patrons escort you gently to the parking lot and that’s the last we ever see of you.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        …until someone looks in the dumpster?

        • Oblios_Cap

          No one gets too seriously injured.

  • Anna Rompage
    • SterWonk

      Bevis, Butthead, and Mike Judge LIBEL!!!!!

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        And here I thought the Mike Judge project that was a frightening predictor of our likely future was Idiocracy.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Seems tohave been taken as a blueprint.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Someone who was smart, well-intentioned, and without a personality disorder could do a much better job defending the Trump administration.

    By astonishing coincidence, however, that seems to describe precisely zero of the people in Trump’s immediate orbit.

    • A smart, well-intentioned person without personality disorders wouldn’t be caught dead working for this administration.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Looks that way!

      • Oblios_Cap

        I hear on of the people working there is named Bernie. He’s never around on the weekends, though.

    • msanthropesmr

      IKR? Weird.

  • TJ Barke

    These people don’t seem to understand what a free press is supposed to be. That or they do understand and hate it. Maybe 6 of one a half dozen of the other.

    • SisterArtemis

      I think they don’t fathom what free press means, AND they hate it. They hates it, they does! They hates it bright lightses!

  • cheetojeebus

    Fun trivia. When they filmed that scene Harrison Ford was running a very high fever and was sick as shit literally with dysentery. The draw was a short cut to curtail exerting himself.

  • Like Really Smart Radio

    (Tape takes a hit)
    (Tape takes a hit)

    The tape was smoking weed?
    Stephen Miller drives even audio equipment to drug use.

  • Marion in Savannah

    WTF is “tape takes a hit” or “tape hit?” I’ve worked as a transcriptionist for 35+ years and this is a term of art that is completely unknown to me.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      The tape then passed the dutchie on the left hand side.

    • gnomemansanisland

      I think they spelled goes ape shit wrong.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, we transcriptionists do try to be polite! (Although it is not comme il faut to change what was said or done…)

    • SisterArtemis

      I was wondering the same thing

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      That’s where the tape bangs its head against a desk much like we want to do.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      AJ JB Sessions is on the case of the mysterious “tape hit.”

    • Eileen Besse

      Me, too….

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Amateur soundman here. I assumed it was really “tape [recorder] hit” assuming that the recording device employs an integrated microphone, and the device is held in such a way that it might be occasionally bumped, resulting in an audio dropout while the automatic gain control recovers.

  • Thorn Spike

    Miller is offended, Tapper should be ashamed, and irony is still dead.

    • Marion in Savannah

      She’s not really dead. The poor thing is over there in the corner by the couch, passed out in the fetal position, amid the pile of Everclear bottles.

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    I was about 1/4 through the book, so I turned to the part about Miller, which is at the end. Apparently human scab Bannon believed that he was going to be president in 2020. I don’t know which member of that crew is more batshit crazy.

    • ariel_gee_398

      AOT, K.

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      Wait, Bannon thought MILLER was presidential material? And this is who the RWNJs hold out as a strategic mastermind. Oy.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Spoiler alert I guess. Bannon though that he, himself, the great auto fellator was presidential material

        • Martini A, very stable genius

          Now that I can believe, only because he’s as much of an egomaniacal reality-ignoring asshole as is his orange frienemy.

  • goonemeritus

    image: https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/Screen-Shot-2018-01-08-at-10.15.12-AM.png

    Seems like the perfect resume for advancement in the Trump administration.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      He wishes he could do screwball comedy. He’s no Carole Lombard.

    • Roadstergal

      Except that he’s taking Trump’s schtick and doing it better. How long will that stand?

  • Martini A, very stable genius
  • Christopher Story

    I will never get over the fact that this man is my age. WTF!?! Evil ages you faster than cigarettes and booze.

    • Anna Rompage

      Shit, I’ve got 15 years on Miller and I still look younger….

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’ve got 29 and I know I look better.

      • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

        57 here, all my hair, no grey, in shape. I look like his younger cousin.

    • I’m three years older and look about twenty-five years younger. To be fair, I look young for my age, but still.

      • Arolpin

        I’m 18 years older than that moldering pile of rancid pig shit, and I look younger than he does. And it’s not because I have more hair, because I’ve been completely shaved (and mostly bald) for over 22 years.

      • Christopher Story

        I have the same problem. I had to grow out my hair and beard just so people would take my age seriously.

        • Arolpin

          I was bald before I could grow a full beard. (Full disclosure: I still can’t really grow a beard, no sideburns and patchy on the cheeks. I rocked a really good 90s goatee before the fucking Nazis adopted that as their way to cover being inbred, chinless cucks.)

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            goddamit, did they? Cause I rock a goatee, but mine is trimmed and cut in a way that looks suspiciously european or beatnicky

          • Arolpin

            If you keep it trimmed I think you can still get away with it. My facial hair is pretty orange, and I generally kept it about 6″ long and cut square, and it looked good with my electric blue hair, but then I stated to see all the asshats growing goatees, so I cut mine off. (Actually, I shaved my head first, then cut the goatee about a year later.)

          • grindstone

            No! No, they didn’t. Goatees can still be awesome.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            I grew a goatee once. Not that I looked evil, but people kept trying to sell me their souls.

          • coozledad

            I had one for a while, but I tired pretty quickly of the looks of either pity or alarm.

          • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

            Same. The trick is to proportion your facial hair to fit your face, and don’t trim the damn thing all the same length. Shape it — don’t let it grow so it looks like a furry donut. My stache is nearly fu length and full. My chin is trimmed so that it tapers sharply to a full, narrow end. The part under the lower lip is full but shaped to a taper to my chin. It’s a mid-19th century thing, and technically a Van Dyke, not “fatass old white guy with a 60s muscle car who bitches about libtards.”

          • Christopher Story

            It’s like that little German mustache. Nothing inherently malicious about it, but nobody can ever wear it again because Hitler ruined the look for everybody for forever.

          • coozledad

            The only person who could ever bring it off was George Orwell. Folks knew for sure he wasn’t a Hitler manque.

          • Well, and Charlie Chaplin, also, too.

    • gnomemansanisland

      But then the good die young. What a world!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And he’s no Kylo Ren, either. Evil is lacking in glamour

    • Hiss

      I’ve got 42 years on him and don’t look as worn out by evil. He must be doing it wrong.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I saw someone describe him as a 30 year old trapped in a 50 year old body.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        50 year old body libulz.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Same here. And since I’ve kinda started to worry whether I’m visible aging, , frantically asking myself: “Is THAT what I look like? Is that what 32 year olds supposed to look like!!!??? And then a 19-year old waiter at TGIFriday’s asks to see my ID when I order an adult drink. Then I feel a little bit better.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      I think he’s starting to look a little like Roy Cohn.

  • Anna Rompage

    Dotard must bleach his asshole, and have Kellyanne wipe him down with baby wipes after he drops a deuce, because Miller’s nose is much much too white for being such a brown noser….

  • Well, I will give Tapper credit. He managed to get through the entire conversation without screaming, “Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out, you sycophantic, syphilitic ass-hamster. “

    • Victoria Ricola

      I might give him more credit if he did yell those exact words at Stephen Miller on live teevee.

    • therblig
    • Asterix

      “Ass-hamster” is a bit much.

      I don’t know how any of the journalists stay sane talking to these people.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        ” “Ass-hamster” is a bit much.”

        It’s got great alliteration, or perhaps more correctly, assonance. OTOH, it’s a potential Lemmiwinks libel.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Miller puts the ass in assonance.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    He’s like Wormtongue with anger management issues.

    • SisterArtemis

      And less emotional depth.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        And less charm.

  • Me not sure
  • JaveyDay
  • Martini A, very stable genius
    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Cat libelz

    • The Wanderer

      It’s barbed like a snail’s radula.

  • lucidamente

    That tape must have been high as fuck.

  • gnomemansanisland

    I wonder what Miller’s parents were like.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      Shit apple doesn’t fall far from the shit tree

    • Martini A, very stable genius

      I’m wondering if he is actually product of human interbreeding.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I’m guessing his family had a long habit of exchanging ‘Happy Birthday, Uncle Daddy!’ cards.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      If you check his crawlspace, you can find out for yourself.

    • NotReallyHere

      Apparently they’re democrats. Or maybe this is a snark question, but honestly given what I’ve read I don’t know why Stephen is a sociopath.

      Miller’s mother, according to her brother David Glosser, was raised by “life-long Democrats.” A Los Angeles Times profile described Miriam and her husband Michael Miller as “A Jewish family of longtime Franklin Roosevelt Democrats.”

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/ellievhall/stephen-millers-liberal-family-members-have-some?utm_term=.mhbrPzvy7#.ohQna67zb

    • wait! what?

      They showed this at the beginning of “Batman Returns.”

  • Asterix

    It was fun to watch this yesterday. Miller is one creepy, scary guy – perfect fit for this White House.

  • bbayliss

    Miller is the walking, talking definition of the Gish Gallop.

  • cheetojeebus

    His resemblance to Roy Cohn is apropos.

  • wait! what?

    “Fire and Fury” is so fake that even passages on page 307 are true…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Some people say I filibuster
    Some call me a gangster of Trump’s
    Some people dis-invite me
    Cause I refuse to take my rhetorical lumps

  • ArgieBargie

    Remember when we used to think you wouldn’t never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy than the Bush administration?

    Little did we know.

    • Christopher Story

      So young, so naive.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        So prequel.

    • That is an insult to all wretched hives of scum and villainy everywhere.

      Good day sir.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      They took the 2009 autopsy and doubled down on all of it and decided to become the stupid party. Thanks to purity ponies, the media, FBI and Russia it worked.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      They had the decency to make the corruption functional. Halliburton was the old model of corruption but, unlike Whitefish, at least it could do the job it was profiteering off of.

  • lucidamente

    I’m too lazy to photoshop Jake Tapper and Stephen Miller into the turkey slaughter pic.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/010191c85a9d44fc7a4b9ebe99cd17a85ad5e3473a530163cf7a167689052e23.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Great Cthulhu, that video was amazing. The juxtaposition of Palin blathering about Thanksgiving and getting back to normal, and the guy stuffing struggling bundles of life into a funnel so he can slit their throats . . .

  • canes_pugnaces
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Tapper said “factotum”?! I thought he said “rectum”, which is also accurate.

    • JaveyDay

      Fart + Rectum + Santorum = Factotum

    • OutOfOrbit

      i have not seen that word used in a very long time, and have i never heard it spoken before

      • PubOption

        I have never seen it used to mean liar or toady.

    • wait! what?

      #yesyouaretheonlyone

    • Nockular cavity

      Yes, you are. Now pick up your trash, you whining, lazy, entitled little shit.

    • Hmm. Throwing your garbage down all over the place with the expectation that other people will clean it up? Boy does THAT epitomizes right-wingers in a nutshell?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Loud and stupid is no way to win an argument, Stephen”
    “SAYS WHO! HUH! WHO SAYS THAT! WHO JAKE, WHO!”

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    “Factotum.”

    SOMEBODY got a “Word of the Day” calendar for Christmas!

  • goonemeritus

    What possible career can Miller have after this administration mercifully comes to a long overdue end?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Social media director for a private school for Nazis?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The little bastard will probably be the Republican Richard Rich. He’ll get a job in Wingnut Welfare and resurface again the next time Republicans come to power.
      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Rich,_1st_Baron_Rich

      • goonemeritus

        I really don’t think so, I think even the right is embarrassed by him,. additionally I think Republicans will do all they can to erase Trump from history in a few years.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I heard that there was a GOP president before Obama, but no one ever mentions him, either.

          • goonemeritus

            Do you mean Reagan because Trump just mentioned him this weekend.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          This administration is even embarrassing to the Berkeley Torture Lawyer.
          Miller can always get a job as a right wing talk radio rage muppet. Seems like there’s a never ending demand.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      RNC spokes critter?

    • Victoria Ricola

      The scariest employee at the crematorium?

      • LesBontemps

        David S. Pumpkins B-boy?

    • eyelashviper

      Breitfart still needs a replacement for Milo.

      • goonemeritus

        Steve probably is the type to hold a grudge.

    • Jgb979

      Serial killer…….uh for hire?

      So probably windowless van haver

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Well he’s great at distraction and obfuscation so he has a long career in politics ahead of him.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    That boy is just not right in the head.

  • Swampay

    It’s hard to get good zombie help these days

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Miller really needs to rethink his life.

    /waves hand

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Nope, sticking with Death Sticks Salesman…it’s all I know.”
      — Stephen Miller.

      • therblig

        “No. These aren’t the droids we’re looking for. Kill the old man and the boy.” – Stephen Miller

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Accept a 7% raise or reject and vote to strike? I’ll take the dirty money.

    Damn union!.

    • msanthropesmr

      Accept. I haven’t had a raise in over four years.

      • jowgajen

        It really depends on what other compensation they are giving up for the raise. Often these “raises” are tied to reduced retirement contributions, reduced health care coverage, etc.

    • Arolpin

      Is there any retroactive payment for the time you’ve been working without a contract? Is it a one-time raise, or are there additional COLAs built in? Are they fucking with your benefits or increasing your co-pays? If the answers are Yes, COLA built in, not fucking with benefits then probably YES. If it’s No, one-time, and they’re fucking with benefits, then NO. If it’s a combo, probably need to talk to your shop steward to find out the real story. But generally a 7% raise is an automatic YES, unless you’re fighting for something else, like safe staffing levels (My brother is big-wig in Nurses union, and wife is a probably going to end up as a shop steward for NJEA, unless the SLPs decide to form their own union with the OTs & PTs.)

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Thanks, Obama Dampnut!

  • eyelashviper

    I watched the whole clip, ack! It was compelling, and made Goebbels very jealous.
    Loved how the Stephen zombie called AF1 “Trump Force One”….whadda little toxic turd, but then that is the default for anyone in the WH.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Trump Force One is Trump’s ancient Eastern Air DC10 *** which is beyond the age of retirement.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        You misspelled DC3.

        • canes_pugnaces

          (see above)

      • canes_pugnaces

        *** 757

  • lucidamente
  • Jgb979

    As per always, I’m just thankful that no one on team trump has any more cunning or craftiness than their boss (ok maybe KAC).

    Every time one of the BEST people appears on tv it’s like being hit with a words sledgehammer

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Trump only hires the bestest people who are dumber then he is.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It requires an extensive screaming, err, screening process.

  • DrBigHead

    Don’t forget, however, that 35% of the US electorate believe Miller ripped Tapper a new one. So although the performance was enjoyable for us, it means nothing.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Those same 35% also believe:
      Trump — stable genius
      Coal jobs — back any day now
      Global Warming — Chinese hoax

      • DrBigHead

        Yep, and add to that:

        Ivanka, Eric, and Don Junior are business savants.
        Trump repealed “Obamacare”
        The tax cut is going to benefit the middle class
        and so forth….

      • ariel_gee_398

        And an increasingly large proportion of those people also think that the earth is flat and hurricanes are punishment for non-procreative sex. I’m not saying we should bring back the poll tax, but maybe some sort of basic reality test for voting?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Throwing out ballots marked in crayon?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I was thinking that myself this morning. I know it’s a pipe dream but wouldn’t it be nice if you had to prove you understood something about the government before you could vote become the government?

        • cmd resistor

          In a recent FB post explaining why climate change isn’t a thing, wingnut bro said Al Gore said hurricanes would be more powerful but they aren’t.

          • ariel_gee_398

            All the facepalms.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Motherfucker does not live in Florida.

      • therblig

        Jesus returning in 2000 2005 2010 any day now.

    • canes_pugnaces

      The same percentage who believe in Bigfoot.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Well that was fun, the pharmacy texted to say my prescription was ready so I went to pick it up. Since its raining and cold everyone is doing 5mph on every road so it takes forever to get there and back. When I finally get there only 1 prescription was ready out of the 2 so I had to wait another 20 minutes. You would think when they say its ready it would mean everything is ready to pick up. Also people suck at driving and go as slow as possible then slam on their breaks all the time for no reason.

    • Rebel Scum with permit
      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        That is pretty true.

      • writersbloc

        Come to South Texas, we don’t have any of those big scary critters. I was in shorts yesterday.

        • Vel Venturi

          But, y’know, Abbott, and Patrick, and the lot of them. I’m ready to take my chances with the spiders at this point.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        I’d rather live where the air hurts my face than where the air tries to drown me.

    • Crystalclear12

      Inhale, exhale, buy liquor.
      Repeat as needed.

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      I got to the pharmacy to find out that they were out of one of my three and I have to come back today. It wasn’t one of the crucial ones, but I need it, and I’m not leaving the couch today, so I guess my husband gets the pleasure of being inconvenienced.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Let’s cut the shit, the appropriate title here is “Jake Tapper starts doing his job”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Really doing his job would mean not inviting Miller in the first place and interviewing somebody with something worthwhile to say. I hear there are people like that.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Agreed

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The catch is that there is no one in the Trump Malasstration who has something worthwhile to say.

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          There was that one woman who… oh, wait, she got fired, never mind.

          • Malaclypse

            Omarosa?

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            No, we specified ‘competent.’

          • Opalescent Riddles

            I thought you meant Sally Yates.

          • Mentally Stable Ron

            I think I’d accept that.

      • Crystalclear12

        I don’t think Hillary is doing interviews.

        • Christopher Story

          Too busy knitting in the woods

      • TJ Barke

        Naw, they need to be at least attempting to hold these shitbags accountable for their blatant lies.

      • Bigly smart jesterpunk

        What do you expect them to do, interview a Democrat? But if they did that Trump wouldn’t watch and shit twit about the show getting them bigly ratings.

  • canes_pugnaces

    From Wikiwonkette:

    “Miller is the vile human-form of Jeff Sessions butt plug, who has been universally hated from the time he was a child. His parents (maybe) suspecting he was possessed, put his head in a vice to drive the evil spirits away. Even today you can spot his misshapen head from blocks away. He is most famous for being kicked off a CNN interview and then sent to live in a large dumpster fire, known as the Trump House.”

  • TundraGrifter

    “Two minutes? YOU’RE the two minutes!”

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    “You gave me two minutes!”
    “Yeah, because you were boring me and not offering anything of substance.”

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    So Tapper will have Stephen Miller on next week?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So, when does Trump start putting up big murals of himself around D.C.?

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Next time his feelings get hurt.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I’m sure this is not the first time that Miller was hoping something would go on for three minutes, only to find that he couldn’t make it last that long.

    • OutOfOrbit

      whoa low blow me like it

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    I wish Tapper had asked Miller if he could define “factotum”.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Isn’t that the orifice facts come out of ?”

      • Anna Rompage

        And the sounds of those “facts” coming out of the factotum orifice are called flatulence….

        • therblig

          Flatus of the POTUS

        • Latverian Diplomat

          flacktulence?

    • OutOfOrbit

      is this Friday?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        no. it’s still Monday.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        but I can say that you are in luck: it is no longer 2017. it is now 2018.

        • OutOfOrbit

          i mean Robinson Crusoe’s man Friday

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            oh, so you’re just being sexist leaving Wednesday Adams out? /snark

          • OutOfOrbit

            Heh heh

    • ariel_gee_398

      “What does this have to do with those funny poles the Indians build?”

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      I had to look it up myself; surprised it wasn’t M-W’s word of the day today

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        there are many hours left in the day.

  • wait! what?

    The closer they get to evicting Donald the more distractions he throws into the public eye.

    https://news.google.com/news/amp?caurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2018%2F01%2F08%2Fus%2Fsalvadorans-tps-end.html#pt0-430564

    “LOS ANGELES — Nearly 200,000 people from El Salvador who have been allowed to live in the United States for more than a decade must leave the country, government officials announced Monday. It is the Trump administration’s latest reversal of years of immigration policies and one of the most consequential to date.

    Homeland security officials said that they were ending a humanitarian program, known as Temporary Protected Status, for Salvadorans who have been allowed to live and work legally in the United States since a pair of devastating earthquakes struck their country in 2001.”

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The New Cruelty, ladies and gentlemen!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      18 years. This administration just loves them some disruption.

  • Christopher Story

    I thought The Hate only lasted for two minutes. Can’t even get that right.

  • OrG

    Fuck off nazi.

  • Crystalclear12

    Excerpt from Too Little, Too Late: Jake Tapper edition.

  • TundraGrifter

    What the fuck is a “(tape hit)?”

    • Chyron HR

      There’s a classic tape hit at around the 1:12 mark of “Owner of a Lonely Heart.”

    • Jimh

      I thought he was vaping.

      • TundraGrifter

        The douche-bro’s “smoking gun.”

    • PubOption

      Because you’re (tape hit) calling me a factotum.
      …spent the entire interview attacking CNN and (tape hit)

      I think it’s another way to say expletive deleted.

      • TundraGrifter

        Thank you!

  • Jonny On Maui

    Ms.MLG was listening to the SM/Tapper interview. (Is she trying to move up my pending aneurysm?) Anyway, after listening for a bit can we come up with a new term for the SM/KAC/SHS/HH crowd? As nothing but lies and shit flow from their lower face hole I propose AnusFace.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Anusoral?

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      Trump Force One almost killed me.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      Bullshit Mountain? Sometimes you have to go with the classics.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      whatever it turns about to be – it needs the word “squad” somewhere.

      like, “the scumbag squad.” (or perhaps the league of extraordinary dumbasses).

  • Gosala

    Yesterday the Breitburgers were all aflutter about how Miller mopped the floor with Tapper.

    Today they are very, very quiet.

  • anon_the_great

    Miller’s flat out fascist reveal was very troubling. Cynics like myself once assured ourselves, ‘Well, as fascists as they sound, it’s all an act. It’s calculated Newt Gingrich redux.’ I fear we are arguing facts increasingly not in evidence. It isn’t an act.

    These motherfuckers in the White House are stone cold crazies dumber than a box of sand. They say all the quiet stuff aloud then are genuinely surprised and offended when called on it.

    We are in some deep shit

    • OutOfOrbit

      yes we are (in some deep shit)

  • JaveyDay
    • GreenGoldSharpie

      He looks like one of the aliens from Mars Attacks!

      • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

        Looks like?

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

      • Nockular cavity

        Now I’m just going to hear “ACK ACK! ACK ACK ACK!” every time he opens is piehole.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          They didn’t have any genitals either. >.>

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          It would be more intelligent

        • marxalot

          You heard something else, before?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Charlie Brown’s teacher voice?

          • The Wanderer

            Morse Code for “someone, please kill me.”

      • The Wanderer

        Quick, play Wayne Newton!

        • MynameisBlarney

          Slim Whitman!
          Wayne Newton just pisses them off!

          • The Wanderer

            Ah, but you play Newton first, then hit ’em with Whitman.

          • MynameisBlarney

            No time for foreplay!

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        I dunno about that. Didn’t they have brains that were visible?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I dunno..
      I think this image may have been shooped.

  • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

    Steve and Donnie sittin’ in a tree
    H-E-I-L-I-N-G
    First comes lies
    Second comes collusion
    All they want is a country free from browns and Mooslims…

    • Me not sure

      Erato weeps with envy!

      • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

        I have the best words.

        • Me not sure

          Bigly.

  • Bigly smart jesterpunk

    Miller is the same guy who complained about picking up his own trash in school because they have janitors for that. They should have had the janitors throw his ass out of the studio.

  • The Wanderer

    Meanwhile, the White House has stripped the protected status from a whole bunch of El Salvadoran refugees, proving Acosta’s assertion that the Trump Administration’s “trying to engineer the racial and ethnic flow of people,” Miller’s shrill screeching notwithstanding.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Miller has always been an asshole, always will be. Quit engaging in outrage porn by inviting this asshole onair to bloviate and lie.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcMydq6vGW8

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      But ratings and access.

      • JaveyDay

        Butt ratings and butt access.

        • msanthropesmr

          Hehehe. You said butt.

    • Anna Rompage

      That’s the thing, this admin doesn’t have one single decent, credible person that they can put out there…. They are all Stephen Millers….

      • eggs ackly-wright

        E.G., Snarlin’ Sarah

      • ariel_gee_398

        Well, there’s Jr. He’s too dumb to lie.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          to lie well…FIFY…

    • Toledo Window Box

      Another great Trump hire.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        All the beast people.

  • mardam422

    Miller: I am shocked, SHOCKED and more than a little offended that you are calling me on my racism, fact-free rantings, and general lickspittleness. SHOCKED I tell you!!

  • BigCSouthside

    Anyone else think Miller has had a uniform made for him with medals and regalia that he secretly puts on at night in anticipation of the fascist takeover of America?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      He just steal’s Clarke’s after they cuddle.

    • JaveyDay

      It’s the Faptist takeover of America.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Southern Faptist.

        • JaveyDay

          They can’t wait for the Fapture to carry them away on a frothy tide of heavenly jizz.

    • (((Sedagive)))

      Totally.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
      • MynameisBlarney

        So James Woods does gnatzee cosplay.

        Who knew?

      • Christopher Story

        Goebbels still had better hair.

        • Toledo Window Box

          And could sell it. Miller is a joke.

          • Jay Hansen

            Just not a very good one.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          A snappier suit, too. Little heavy on the flair, though.

          • SecludedCompound

            Hugo Boss, after all.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        What’s the red triangle pin on his lapel? Nazi flair?

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Koch communication device?

      • Jay Hansen

        The one on the left looks (more than ironically) like Charles Krauthammer. Resemblance can be very unkind.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      He’d look right at home in a Waffen SS uniform, like that Frederik guy on that real estate show.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s certainly possible.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Complete with monocle a la Colonel Klink?

  • Indiepalin

    Trump has a limp biscuit.

    • Ms.M.Like,Genius on Maui

      I heard Trump Force One can’t even lift off the tarmac.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Nor does anyone, especially Melania or Ivanka, necessarily want it to!

  • rosenbomb

    I love him yelling about “cosmopolitan bias.” The dude is from Los Angeles. Ben Shaprio does the same shit, ranting about west coast elites. Also from LA.

    • Bigly smart jesterpunk

      They work for a “rich” reality tv star from NYC also too.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      there’s one of these nutbags who is always jaunting off to europe and being a foodie…

    • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

      It’s less him being from LA and using the city definition of cosmopolitan and more him being Jewish and using the (((cosmopolitan))) meaning

      • rosenbomb

        Do you think he experienced cognitive dissonance between his Jewish background and current Nazi tendencies? How does one reconcile the two? The mind reels.

        • PubOption

          Ask Bibi.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Blake said: “They become what they behold”….

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          It’s the old, “It’s not fascism if We do it.” trope.

      • PersianOregano

        Castro could you be kind to an old person and explain to her what the triple parentheses are all about?

        • rosenbomb

          I can– it’s called an echo, used by far-right people online to identify people with Jewish ancestry. A lot of liberals adopted it to take the wind out of the alt-right’s sails.

        • Catstro, Very Stable Genius

          It’s code for Jew. I think it was first used on Reddit or Twitter by anti-semites, and you’ll see some actual Jewish people using it as a way to identify as Jewish (as a fuck you to the originators, I guess). So. TL;DR, parentheses denote “Jew”

          • Zyxomma

            Yes, I considered changing my nym to ((( Zyxomma ))) but I’m lazy and disorganized.

        • SecludedCompound

          Likewise, you’ll see anti-Semites use )))their name((( to denote that they are anti-Semitic or “against Jewishness”.

          Fascists use “globalist” and “cosmopolitan” as dog whistles for Jewishness as well, much as their forebears of the twentieth century did.

    • BigCSouthside

      He’s wealthy and from LA. His dad is the definition of coastal elite

      • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

        So how the hell did he grow up to be such a soulless monster?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Not just LA. Freakin Santa Monica.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        oye, it could only be worse if they were from malibu (full disclosure: i like santa monica, stayed in the hostel there and went to a dinner party with some extended relatives there once).

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          It is a neat place. It’s beautiful, it ain’t cheap, and it’s been an enclave for wealthy liberals for many years. If you want to stand out from the crowd, you have to do something…..

    • grindstone

      He went to Duke. I mean seriously, dude….you ain’t exactly a man of the people.

      • Jay Hansen

        David?

  • Serolf Divad

    Yup, Stephen Miller is the Jewish conservative who played to Trump’s base by hurling an anti-semitic insult at Jim Acosta during a news conference. Really charming guy.

    • TJ Barke

      His parents must be so proud.

      • ImGoingBacon

        objection, facts of having parents not in evidence.

        • Zyxomma

          I believe I read his parents were Santa Monica CA liberals. Guess his teenage rebellion is ongoing.

  • I’m pretty sure his picture is already in the dictionary next to ‘repellent’.

    And now it’s next to ‘factotum’ as well.

    • jowgajen

      factotum apparently means employee who does all kinds of work, jack of all trades, handyman, etc.

      • cmd resistor

        I had to look it up when I read the transcript. Is there a word for employee who does all the shit shoveling work?

        • jowgajen

          I think that’s it, factotum. But it’s hardly derogatory.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Toady?

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Dogsbody?

        • YaJagoff

          Head Shit shoveler.

      • The Wanderer

        “Jack of all trades, master of none.”

        • jowgajen

          Jack (Booted Thug) of all trades.

          • ImGoingBacon

            Jackoff of all trades.

        • Red Richmond

          Jackoff of all trades maybe in his case, but that libels jackoffs the world over.

      • Toledo Window Box

        Lickspittle is more appropriate.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        And it has it’s own song:

        https://youtu.be/TKDXr_fimQ8

      • Rebel Scum with permit
  • Christopher Story

    Five bucks says he lurks around the White House at night, collecting hair from the women’s hair brushes, which he keeps in a ziplock bag, and huffs the bag when he masturbates. Then he cries.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Definitely a candidate for auto-erotic asphyxiation, that one.

    • calliecallie

      Although it made me chuckle, I really do not want to retain the mental image just created.

      • Christopher Story

        I hear a generous application of alcohol can remedy said affliction

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      I bet you’re closer to the truth than you’re not.

      According to Wolff’s book, Trump told his staff “If my shirt is on the floor, it’s because I want it on the floor,” and he strips his own bed and tells them when to wash his sheets.

      Because your Stephen Miller scenario.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I’m not so sure the crying is only at the end.

  • cmd resistor

    OT, but speaking of, “What the hell do they have on Lindsey Graham?”
    “He ran against 17 Republicans and crushed us all. He ran against the Clinton machine and won. So all I can say is you can say anything you want to say about the guy. I said he was a xenophobic, race-baiting, religious bigot. I ran out of things to say. He won,” Graham said on “The View.”
    When pressed by the show’s hosts whether he still thought that about Trump, Graham responded: “No, I don’t think he’s a xenophobic, race-baiting, religious bigot — as president.” http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/367925-graham-i-no-longer-think-trump-is-a-race-baiting-religious-bigot

    • BigCSouthside

      Whatever it is it’s bad, he did a full about face after they golfed

      • cmd resistor

        He sure did.

      • Christopher Story

        That must’ve been when they showed him his kompromat. His first test of loyalty was to lie about the game.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Miss L wants to be Secretary of War…errr…State after Tillerson is gone. That’s why the sudden about face.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I agree with Lindsey. He’s not a religious bigot. He’s a bigot about religions. Totally different thing.

      • Christopher Story

        “He’s not a racist, he’s just racial”
        -Omorosa

    • MynameisBlarney

      Like I said a few days ago.
      They got pics of him with leather clad rentbois.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Nope, he just wants to be Sec. Of State when Tillerson gets shitcanned.

      • ImGoingBacon

        That in and of itself is not a bad thing. Think of it as a game of Clue.
        Rentbois, in the bedroom,and strapped naked to the St. Andrews cross. Two headed dildos might have been involved, or so I’ve heard.

        • MynameisBlarney

          No, it’s not, consenting adults and all.

          BUT…he’s a self-loathing closeted homosexual that has worked to make the lives of the LGBTQ community harder and THAT makes him really fucking evil in my book.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Dead leather clad rentbois!

    • Toledo Window Box

      Lindsay is playing The Donald for all he’s worth.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Lindsey’s good tv, like donald. But he’s a terrible senator, and the kind of warmonger only teenage boys who want to fuck gladiators can endure. He’d like to see WWII all over again, but only if he could just watch….

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Well he does love a man in a sharp uniform.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Lindsey always gives good…uh…sound bite.

    • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

      Think Russia.

    • Yellow_Dog_Dem

      the live boy

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    That jaunty chapeau is one toque over the line.

    • The Wanderer

      Sweet Jesus.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      And hats the end of hat…

      • TheGrandWazoo2

        I’m bowlered over.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          It trilby a dark day when I succumb to a hat pun.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Grin and beret.

    • Red Richmond

      Truly he’s a panaman for all seasons.

    • Zyxomma

      I can’t top that, so I’ll just sit here and cap.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      He can wear his jaunty chapeau in his honky chateau.

  • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump
    • Christopher Story

      I was riding with them in spirit.

    • Major^3 Andre

      For Wonkers, isn’t that just referred to as “the daily commute”.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      As your attorney and friend concerned with your health, I recommend that you never, ever ride any subway without pants on.

    • Zyxomma

      I did not; I never have. I did know it was happening on the coldest day of the year (so far). I get all the harassment I’ll ever need without asking for it.

  • Anna Rompage

    And in other news…..

    Mike Pence shares ‘intimate’ dinner with right-wing pastor who prays for deaths of liberal justices

    Trump spiritual adviser warns followers of ‘consequences’ if they don’t send her up to a month’s salary

    Russian lawyer says she spoke to Ivanka at Trump Tower

    Lindsey Graham tells ‘The View’ that Donald Trump is no longer a ‘xenophobic, race-baiting, religious bigot’ because he’s the president

    Jesus fucking christ jerking off a legion of Romans, our country is being lead essentially by a smarmy TV evangelist that has appointed the worst possible people to his cabinet…

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Yeah, I’m expecting a full on assault on social issues this year. They’re going to swing for wedge issues.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      We’ll be stuck with those federal judges for the next 40 years, too.

    • Grumpy Twat

      Trump has a spiritual advisor?

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      That’s because he doesn’t want to do any of the work, so that leaves Pence to bring in the scummiest so called christian grifters to rob us blind.

  • Toledo Window Box

    Tapper smacked the living SHIT out of Miller. It was AMAZING.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      It was pretty.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Trump tweeted out that Miller destroyed Tapper. He truly is delusional.

      • Toledo Window Box

        It doesn’t matter what actually happened. Trump lives in an alternate universe of unicorns and cotton candy and fairy tales.

  • JaveyDay
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Is Vlad at the top of that pole?…

      • JaveyDay

        Good idea!

    • LesBontemps

      I think you mean Fake Totem Pole.

    • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

      Still racist as fuck…

  • coozledad

    I saw him on a bus at Duke talking about how much he idolizes Bill O’Reilly. He has the same rhetorical weapons. Being loud, and never shutting the fuck up.

  • mardam422

    Miller is one guy whose perp walk I’m going to tape so I can watch it over and over.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Not Flynn’s?

      • MynameisBlarney

        AOTK.

    • Christopher Story

      I’m hoping for a full on hate crying, pants pissing meltdown.

      • MamaBrown

        Oh hell yeah. I’m sure he’s imagined his stoic demeanor when he undergoes his martyrdom. As he lies in bed at night, fapping dreamily to the sound of Sean Hannity’s voice, I bet he pictures himself standing tall between two oafish officers, as the jeering crowd slowly quiets, and one by one, men remove their hats and women start to wipe their eyes. “so brave!” they’ll murmur. “So loyal! History will tell his tale. Godspeed”. In real life I hope there will be full on snotty bawling, struggling, screams of “take your hands off me you damn dirty ape”, pants wetting and projectile vomiting.

        • Jamoche

          I want him to go to a normal prison so his ego can be crushed when even the white supremicists will have nothing to do with him.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      From your lips…

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I am shocked and appalled that you are shocked and appalled by my racism.

    • Vel Venturi

      The new motto of the GOP.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • (((Sedagive)))

      Oh, that last one. Too real.

  • YouInDangerGirl!

    The scary thing this reveals is that Miller seems to actually believe the bullshit he’s spewing. According to Wolff’s book, even Kellyanne Conway – actually, I should say Kellyanne Conway – is well aware that, when she’s on “the shows,” the main gig is to purr into Trump’s ear so he’ll fall asleep in front of the TV and cease to make the White House miserable for a few hours. If you’re going to let yourself be hoodwinked by a grifter, at least let it be a world-class charmer. I don’t know, like, Jim Jones?

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Where’s my Roy Cohn? Where’s my Elmer Gantry?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Stephen Miller had a heart? Who knew.

    • Lord Jim

      I’m not believing it til they rip it out of him and show it to me.

    • Like Really Smart Radio

      For breakfast

    • Vel Venturi

      It never grew three sizes that day.

  • Zyxomma

    TY, Rebecca.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    “This is the reason they don’t put you out on TV. Okay? This is the reason.” That’s gotta become a thing. I’m going to use that as an all purpose rebuttal.

    • ImGoingBacon

      So if Jake knew the Administration didn’t want him on TV, why did Jake put him on…. oh wait.

  • TundraGrifter

    Now we can all be pretty sure Stephen Miller never saw “Tropic Thunder.”

    • Andy

      Never go full …

      • TundraGrifter

        Retread. Never go full retread. It’s right there in the movie.

  • JaveyDay
    • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

      Not real comfortable with this photo. Kinda racist as fuck.

      • Perkniticky

        Would it be less racist if the faces were on a matryoshka doll?

      • JaveyDay

        I disagree. Donald Trump hosting Native American Codetalkers and referring to Elizabeth Warren as “Pocahontas” right to their faces was “kinda racist as fuck.” I consider it social commentary on the stupidity of all their beliefs. And how Donald Trump’s lackeys and sycophants look up to him as the big, strong leader, but he’s really just a weak and incompetent stooge of Putin.

        But I removed it anyway.

  • Stephen Miller reminds me of Carter Page with very low blood sugar

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      Carter Page always looks amazed at the fact no one’s beaten the daylights out of him.

  • Gary Charound

    I don’t know (bong hit) what a tape hit is. Is it (bong hit) anything like a bong hit?

    • coozledad

      Yes, but Miller is actually smoking TAPE.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        I told him not to sniff the Krazy Glue

    • Zyxomma

      I just guessed that’s Newspeak for ‘expletive deleted.’

    • thixotropic jerk

      Awww, JINX!

    • I don’t know what a tape hit is, but the Tape Beatles are analog noise, man.
      https://youtu.be/BgKajW79uXU

  • Joshua Norton

    Sorry, Stevie, but life comes at you fast, especially if you’re a mindless sycophant.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    “This is the reason they don’t put you on TV. Okay? This is the reason.”

    https://i.imgur.com/WfdTRqB.gif

    • There’s also the fact that he looks like a creepy Muppet.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        A creepy serial killer muppet.

  • Perkniticky

    I don’t know why everyone is giving this Wolff fellow such a hard time. Every excerpt of his book that I’ve seen seems so obviously believable based on my knowledge of the Trump clown car.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Man. Miller reminds me of someone, but I can’t quite put my finger on it…. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/da17d428b066432bef24317d297250c05ecc5d79649cee81d08fa45f86a57140.jpg

  • One quibble, Miller has no heart to make a hat out of.

    • Jay Hansen

      But he is an ass.

  • Yellow_Dog_Dem

    Can we please find the rock these sycophantic fuckers all crawled out from under and apply some pesticide or blow it up or something? FFS

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “Tape hit” is the new “redacted”?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Miller pounding his teeny, frustrated little fists on the table?

    • thixotropic jerk

      It’s TeeVee shorthand for: “take a hit, dude, and like, chill out, man!”

  • JoeChristmas

    This ghost of Roy Cohn sucks too.

  • LiberalANDProud
  • Juan de Fuca

    Isn’t Stephen Miller the same whiny ass bitch who’s been screaming about perceived injustices against white people since he was in high school?

    *Googles “Whiny Ass Bitch Stephen Miller”*

    As matter of fact he is the same whiny ass little bitch who’s been screaming about perceived injustice towards white people since he was in high school:

    “He’s the most sanctimonious student I think I ever encountered,” said John Burness, Duke’s former senior vice president of public affairs and government relations. “He seemed to be absolutely sure of his own views and the correctness of them, and seemed to assume that if you were in disagreement with him, there was something malevolent or stupid about your thinking. Incredibly intolerant.”
    It’s deeper than that. People who knew Miller in middle school said he was a bigot back then and expressly ended childhood friendships with Latino students over their ethnicity. “I can’t be your friend any more because you are Latino,” Jason Islas says he was told by Miller the summer before they began high school.

    He’s also the dipshit who, while in college, spoke out against Maya Angelou, of all people. He’s that guy.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/king-stephen-miller-latest-liar-bigot-team-trump-article-1.2971639

    • People who knew Miller in middle school said he was a bigot back then and expressly ended childhood friendships with Latino students over their ethnicity. “I can’t be your friend any more because you are Latino,” Jason Islas says he was told by Miller the summer before they began high school.

      But how did Miller find out his amigo “Mr. Islas” was Latino?
      https://pics.me.me/bwahahahaha-thatisag00d-one-20493454.png

  • So Heard

    Miller’s shocking, insulting and outrageously ignorant and foolish behavior won’t get him repeat appearances. Talk about deflection and projection!!

    • JustDon’tSayLikeSmart

      Followed by rejection and ejection.

    • Kooolest G

      are you kidding? that was ratings gold for CNN and the audience of one tweeted how much he liked it. he’ll be a regular on the TV before you know it

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
    • gratuitous

      Except for the fact that Miller had to be escorted off the premises, I would have paid a nickel to see him flounce off in a huff. Then run down the hall and slam his bedroom door REAL HARD, which would teach everyone a lesson as Steve cranked up his BeeGees album.

      • Anne Of Green Bagels

        he probably wrote something mean in his journal also, too.

    • Jay Hansen

      He can leave in a huff or if that’s too soon he can leave in a minute and a huff. Just so he leaves.

      • everstar

        “The dean is in your office! He’s waxing wroth!” “Is that so? Tell Wroth to wax the dean for a while.”

    • Just saying

      I will never understand people that see their kids in distress and choose to film them. Maybe I was just a total wuss parent but humiliating my kid was never a thing for me.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Snowflake.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Miller does a very good impersonation of an aggrieved precious snowflake.

  • CATMAN

    Jughead Miller reminds me of a bad Marachi band–if you can’t be good, be loud

  • Terpsichord

    I swear I saw this whole thing before…. maybe a Veep episode?

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    Not a Factotum, not a Factotum….YOU’RE the Factotum!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      ♫ Largo al factotum della merda Trump
      La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
      Largo al factotum della merda Trump
      La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
      Ah bravo, Millero,
      Bastardo maldestro
      Ebreo che odia se stesso,
      E gli Stati Uniti
      E gli Stati Uniti

      Stupido stronzo-o-o-o-o-nzo
      Dal quartiere nazista.
      Nazista, Nazista, Nazista.
      Ah, bravo, Millero
      Tutti mi intervistano,
      Non più, CNN.
      Più, NBCN.
      Tra-la-la-la-la-la
      Nessuno mi intervisterà,
      Nessuno mi intervisterà.
      Nessuno mi intervisterà perché sono un idiota.
      Largo al factotum della merda Trump
      La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
      Largo al factotum della merda Trump
      La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
      Dall’orinale.
      Dall’orinale.♫

      • thixotropic jerk

        Funiculì, Funiculàààhàhàhàhàhàhàhàhàààààà!!!!!!!!!!

      • malsperanza

        <3333

  • Tom Mears

    I still want to know when Miller will reveal Metaluna’s plan to take over the earth.

  • HeywoodJablomey

    I have been laughing my ass off over this headline for like, 5 minutes. ❤️ That is all.

  • Aww, he thinks he’s people not a idiot.

  • Leftflank

    Steve Miller is starting to hate white people that eat him for lunch also too.

    Dude’s 32, single and rents from his Daddy.
    Excuse me, but what are his qualifications again?

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Well, daddy won’t want to check his backyard and crawlspace.

    • Shibusa

      Will say anything for money?

    • Affirmative action for rich white dudes

    • Ghoti theLinguist

      He reminds me of the serial killer in “The Silence of the Lambs.”

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQb2m6VJ-eo

      • Leftflank

        The spawn of possibly?

  • chascates

    Yet another example of why this country needs real mental health services.

  • Iam Reading

    Stephen Miller is just an angry, limp dick, no friends, pussy ass shit head

  • Pat_Pending

    It’s so sad. He has an entire lifetime of assholery ahead of him.

  • PurseJunkie

    You’re linked to the wrong “Fire and Fury.”

  • JCfromNC

    OT: I’ve heard that Harrison Ford was under the weather that day, and that an involved fight scene was scrapped because of it, after Ford asked, “Why don’t I just shoot him?” That may be one of those “too good to be true” stories, though.

  • phoenix00

    “GREEDO SHOT FIRST!” – George Lucas

  • JCfromNC

    Um. Your “Fire and Fury” link above goes to “Fire and Fury: The Allied Bombing of Germany, 1942-1945” which I’m sure is a fascinating read but maybe not the one you intended to point to.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Thing is, Tapper is actually being straight up with the guy — like giving him the feedback he needs to hear, which is probably the nicest thing anyone could do for him but he’ll never realize that this was a kindness.

  • Sakonyachen

    This guy needs a chambermaid with a fan and a fainting couch at every interview. The best way to prove someone right(even when they’re wrong) is to throw a hissy fit like some Victorian Princess. BTW, were princesses really like that? I like to think they just stabbed people. Things were rougher back then.

  • ACertainFish

    At least we know why Stephen Miller’s mother didn’t love him.

  • Who knew that behind those soulless doll’s eyes lurked a steaming cauldron of hissy passion?

  • cleos_mom
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