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White House adviser and presidential lickspittle Stephen Miller bravely faced down Jake Tapper on CNN’s “State of the Union” Sunday, refusing to answer Tapper’s “questions” and instead informing America that Donald Trump is the smartest, most intelligentest, and also smartest president of modern times. The interview was ostensibly a chance for Miller to respond to questions about Michael Wolff’s book Firing The Furries (that link gives yr Wonkette a cut), and while Miller addressed the book, he was far more interested in his own glorious duckspeak than in taking questions. In other words, it was Stephen Miller on a TV show.

After Tapper cut the ranterview short, Miller refused to leave the studio, according to Business Insider. He was asked several times to please go now, and refused, so “ultimately security was called and he was escorted out,” according to “two sources close to the situation.” WE WANT VIDEO.

The interview itself took a full two minutes before launching off to crazyland. In response to a question about whether Don Jr. would have met with Russians and not taken the opportunity to introduce his distinguished guests to dad, Miller started off with theatrical sorrow at Steve Bannon’s uninformed speculation:

Steve Bannon’s eloquence in that description notwithstanding, it’s tragic and unfortunate that Steve would make these grotesque comments.

It was all very sad, and it makes everyone at the White House very sad. The book, Miller sighed, “is best understood as a work of very poorly written fiction.” Then Miller got rolling, adding that Michael Wolff is a “garbage author of a garbage book.”

Still speaking in sort of measured tones, Miller offered a stirring portrait of how very, very smart and eloquent Trump was on the campaign plane, telling a story about how quick Trump’s brain was on its feet:

I saw a man who was a political genius, somebody who — we would be going down, landing, in descent there would be a breaking news development. And in 20 minutes, he would dictate 10 paragraphs of new material to address that event, and then deliver flawlessly before an audience of ten thousand people.

Rather than chasing that bit of fascinating anecdotage — we’d certainly like proof of this insane claim that Donald Trump has ever spoken in “paragraphs” — Tapper went back to his fake news question about the Trump Tower meeting, and that flipped a switch for Miller. If the news guy was going to insist on repeating a question, well, that was simply more than the angermuppet was willing to stand for! Not only are all the allegations in the book a “pile of trash,” CNN is a pile of trash too:

Your network’s been going 24/7 with all the salacious coverage, and I know that it brings a lot of you guys a lot of joy to trying to stick the knife in.

From there, Miller was into full Attack Poodle mode, insisting that the book was full of versions of events that he’d been present for that he almost didn’t recognize because they were so distorted. Tapper actually blew a chance when Miller said that, rising to the bait and insisting CNN had no interest in knifing anyone instead of simply asking Miller for an example of some specific event the book got wrong. Dammit, Jake, do some goddamn journalism instead of getting defensive.

Miller also went off on Bannon, who’s just some guy who showed up around Trump for a little while, but never really mattered. You know who really ran the Trump campaign brilliantly? Donald Trump, the political genius. Did you hear that, boss? You’re a political genius! After a bit more Trumpfluffing, Tapper interjected, “I’m sure he’s watching and he’s happy that you said that,” which prompted Miller to accuse Tapper of being “condescending.” No, that wasn’t condescending, it was snide, and completely accurate.

Tapper at least tried to get in a question about Bannon’s very definite involvement in setting a number of policies. How could Trump now claim that Bannon had “nothing to do with” his presidency? Sorry, Mister Cable News Bad Guy, no answers for you. Bannon’s role has been exaggerated by everyone, he’s an unperson, and besides, CNN never gives Donald Trump credit for how he’s connected with “the kinds of people whose life concerns don’t get a lot of attention on CNN,” like all the decent people “getting slaughtered in sanctuary cities” by those criminal illegal aliens.

And did he mention that Trump’s a genius? You bet he did.

Miller called Tapper “hysterical” and “condescending” a few more times, insisted that Donald Trump’s tweets are nothing but unadorned truth and that they “tap into something magical that’s happening in the hearts of this country,” at which point we hoped he’d suddenly turn into a sparkly unicorn princess. Instead, Miller went on about how terrible CNN is, and what a genius Trump is, and Tapper had had enough:

You’re not answering the questions […] I get it. There’s one viewer that you care about right now. And you’re being obsequious, you’re being a factotum in order to please him. And I think I’ve wasted enough of my viewers’ time. Thank you, Stephen.

Or maybe Miller was being more of an alternative factotum. His boss sure was pleased with his performance, though:

Mission Accomplished.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to help us watch Stephen Miller so you won’t have to.

[CNN / Business Insider]

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  • I would pay money to see the security cam footage of Miller being bounced out of CNN. In fact, I rather hope the guards literally threw him out of the building and he bounced a few times on the pavement.

  • Oblios_Cap

    And Hope Hicks was alleged to have slept with that troll Miller? Poor girl!

    • Lewandowski, not Miller (though now I’m finding the thought of a hicks/miller/lewandowski lust triangle slightly amusing…barfy too).

    • JustPretendImNotHere

      Corey Lewandowski, although all of these Nazi’s look alike.

      I’m not sure Miller has ever had sex…

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’m pretty sure he hasn’t.

      • gnomemansanisland

        Does blowing Trump on cable tv count as sex?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “ultimately security was called and he was escorted out,”

    LOCK HIM UP!
    LOCK HIM UP!
    LOCK HIM UP!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    lil Goebbels as a friend of mine yesterday called him.

    OT: I have Fire and Fury in PDF format if anyone is interested?

    • Nounverb911

      Did you get it from Wikileaks?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I did and it began: “There has never been a country called Russia. Fake News.”

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I saw it coming by on Twitter so I guess so.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Not if it’s the pirated copy, thanks though.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Pirated or not, we’re getting pretty much the whole story in drips and drabs here and on the teevee, etc. Who wants to sit down and read thorough the whole bloody text?

        • Hiss

          Me, for one. It was delightful.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dumb Goebbels.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      OOh I would love read it.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    If there’s anything DJT knows about, it’s hatred and unfairness.

  • Michael R
  • Oblios_Cap

    Why wouldn’t he leave? Did he think they were going to put him back on the air?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “I was supposed to get a participation trophy. I’m not leaving until I do.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Please don’t make me go back to the White House. I like it here better.”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    CNN security finally got Miller to leave by telling him there was a high school girl’s track meet nearby where he could jump into one of the races on the last lap and “win”, to once and for all prove his superiority over the rest of the humanity.

  • armed_bears
    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      A Rottie and a Flabrador? We passed a Rot puppy on our walk Saturday (who was bigger than my dog Buddy) and he was all shy and scared.

      • armed_bears

        Rottie-Pyrenees cross and Anatolian-Pyrenees cross… cause what good is a dog less than 150 pounds? Also, for the goats. And yes, rotties are super gentle, despite their reputations, and they were/are herd dogs.

  • ManchuCandidate
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    we’d certainly like proof of this insane claim that Donald Trump has ever spoken in “paragraphs”

    Let’s let John Oliver explain Trump’s rhetorical skills (2 min video):
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHzv-UDXeC4

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Wow.

      And the wingnuts are telling themselves that libtards have only JUST STARTED questioning Trump’s native intelligence/sanity.

  • Mavenmaven

    This is how a Stalinist would have responded to questions about the people removed from official Soviet photos.

  • Nockular cavity

    we’d certainly like proof of this insane claim that Donald Trump has ever spoken in “paragraphs”

    Do endless pages of run-on gobbledygook count?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I believe it.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I just read that on the Internet.

        • beatbort

          I believe it if he first made Stephen Miller, standing by to wipe Trump’s ass, take a small bite to see if it was safe.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Lots of people are talking about it.

    • MynameisBlarney

      For some reason, when I read that “title” I hear it in Chris Farley’s voice.

    • jesuswasablack

      Was the toilet gold?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Of course, the President has one installed wherever he is. The reason he doesn’t pop into the waiting limo from Air Force One is that usually the toilet proceeds him.

    • Uncle Mark

      “…except it turned it that it WASN’T a McNugget he ate after all.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        Hard to tell the difference actually.

    • WHOOPS, WRONG NUGGET

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Both woo and eww

    • james crubb

      A lot of fine people eat nuggets on the toilet.

  • Oneofthebobs

    Must have been “talk like a stable genius day”.

    • Oblios_Cap

      stable genius or genius in a stable? Discuss.

      • willi0000000

        Dobbin.

        • Querolous

          Bucephalus.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I heard he licked his fingers and now Tapper has a taste for the sweet, sweet sugary blood of right wing blue bloods.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    After Miller gets “you’re fired” to spend more time with his family, Liddle’ Baby Donnie will deny ever knowing him, despite Miller’s lip prints all over Trump’s swimsuit area.

    • beatbort

      Miller has a family? There are people who would inhabit the same house with him?

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Malibu Stacy dolls, mostly.

        • SydneyP

          His mommy and daddy buyed him a apartment in the “cosmopolitan” City Center. He’s very lonely, though. I wonder why.

      • YaJagoff

        Who would want to fuck him in the first place?

    • Mary Theresa

      He’ll end up being just another covfefe boy.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Does Zombie-Eyed POTUS Fluffer [ZEPF. Must credit Wonkette.] live off the blood of virgins, and if so, does he suck his own?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I figured he’d just eventually bud. No way that thing has a dick.

  • beatbort

    Apologies to the musical Steve Miller:

    Some people call me Kellyanne’s plowboy
    Some call me the shankster of Gump
    Some people may call the police
    When I speak of the greatness of Trump

    I’m a go-fer
    I’m a loafer
    I’m a midnight fluffer
    Me and Seb are Nazis on the run…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You forgot “midnight chicken choker”.

  • Nounverb911
    • Shibusa

      Miller looks like a perpetually sleepy psychopath.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      You just know this guy got pantsed all the time.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “How do you sleep at night?”
        “I don’t.”

      • Bananas Foster

        I’m going to assume he was the bully, not the bullied.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          I’m 5’6″ and I’d have bullied him. No way he had the friends to back him up.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            His friends would hold him while you slapped him (with votes).

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Bingo. And let’s be clear, I’d have burgered this kid for being an ass to others.

            I’m pretty sure even my stepmom would have high fived me after, too.

          • Bananas Foster

            It’s the bullies who grow up to be… bullies.

            Not the bullied.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Eh, depends.

            I’d have bullied because he’s clearly a worm and he was nasty to people. Some people need to put in their place more.

        • dshwa

          Naw, he was the guy who sucked up to the bullies and helped them plan out their attacks on other kids so they wouldn’t target him.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Daily Atomic Wedgies too.

    • therblig

      Stephen crawled to power through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can’t even imagine, or maybe I just don’t want too. Five-Hundred yards… that’s the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.

      Stephen Miller – who crawled through a river of shit and came out even shittier on the other side.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Mr. Miller, the sun will be up in a few minutes. We both know you need to get back to your crypt before then.”

    -CNN security

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “We really don’t want to wipe up your ashes.”

  • therblig
  • Crystalclear12

    As advertised. He says exactly what you think he would say.
    Absolutely truth in packaging.

  • little miss high and mighty

    Dang, why they post the red meat when we gotta run to work?
    maybe next time
    gotta run
    Jay
    Oh
    Bee.
    Dang!
    Bye, all

  • memzilla Ω
    • jodyleek

      Marty Feldman reincarnated as a cat?!?

  • Shan

    Does Miller’s voice always sound like he’s terrified or was it just this interview?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    That was some truly awful PR.
    H&M: Hold my mimosa
    https://twitter.com/Magnus_Ronning/status/950293280763375616

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s just jaw-dropping.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I wonder if they have an Asian kid wearing a “Strongest chink in the link” pullover, too.

    • handyhippie65

      well, now we know where all the khakis, and polo shirts came from.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    unless Miller was at the Russia meeting, how would he know whether or not Bannon was at the meeting?

  • lucidamente
    • Nockular cavity

      I think he’s converted, but yes, Jewish by birth. His ancestors escaped the holocaust via the “chain migration” Stephen Miller is against!

      • Shibusa

        We had a neighbor in San Diego who ranted about “chain migration” (and anchor babies, amnesty and sanctuary cities.) He was a tool. And then when he needed somebody to build a garden walkway, he drove over to Home Depot and hired a bunch of illegal immigrants from the parking lot, and boasted about how little it cost to get the work done.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    TRUMP FORCE ONE?! WHAT THE BALLS?

  • beatbort

    Miller looks like the hate child of Coach K and Leona Helmsley

    • goingohm

      A Duke alum. Hmmm…

  • jesuswasablack
    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Goebbels had more hair.

      • Tishalicious

        Eyes aren’t nearly as dead and glassy either.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        and was handsomer…

      • Oblios_Cap

        And a wife and kids.

      • Hiss

        Looks more intelligent, also.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    How much does Miller rent his forehead out for?

  • Jgb979

    Steven Miller: body 32, soul 85, I guess his face said “fuck it- middle aged divorced dad?”

    Now that Bannon is gone he’s the most legitimately terrifying cabinet member still in the White House. Its the combination of dead eyes, slack jaw, monotone vocals that gives the impression of slightly more intelligent sling blade, and leads me to believe he’s got at least a closet full of dead bodies everywhere he lives.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Mmmmmhmmmm.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Reckon I’ll have some o’ th bigguns.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Beat me to it!

          • beatbort

            Some folks call it a Nazi raid
            Some call it a ethnic cleansing
            I just call it slingin’ shit

    • beatbort

      Happily, he’s not a Cabinet member. Just a personal lapdog Nazi for Trump. He will be “put down” when he is of no more use.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Soul not in evidence.

    • goingohm

      That man was hurting Stephen’s mama.

    • Hiss

      I’ve seen taped interviews with serial killers (Bundy, Dahmer). Enough said.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    has someone informed him that our country does not have dynasties?

    • reelreeler

      well, it actually does…The billionaires who control the politicians are the American dynasty families. It’s just that they’re smart enough to avoid royal titles, because sometimes that ends badly.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        those are oligarchs not emperors.

  • armed_bears
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Insurance job?

      • armed_bears

        Either that, or we have a new Pope.

      • bbayliss

        Servers

    • Pilotshark

      well think next time they will try to burn the documents out side, or was that an attempt at the Reichstag fire?

      • The Wanderer

        No, that happened on 9/11/01 (HE SAID 9/11! EVERYONE DRINK!)

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Round up the usual immigrants.

    • Uncle Mark

      Turns out Trump employees were overworking a shredder on the roof, especially when officials found a partially-shredded Russian jammed in the shredder.

    • jodyleek

      Gives a whole new meaning to “dumpster fire”.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      I was hoping it was Glenn Beck.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    If you’re not sure what “dead-eyed” means, check out any photo of Miller.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Are Miller and Pouty Lips the only operatives still working in DJT’s White House? Because it seems the rest of them are all jumping ship.

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    You guys, I can’t even read Trump tweets when they’re digested here. I just scroll right by them. I can’t imagine what my mind would be like if wading through the pure, uncut sewage was my job. Wonkette deserves a medal. Do they give Purple Hearts for injury to your sanity?

    • YaJagoff

      They should at least get hazard pay.

  • YoBunnyBunny
  • Shibusa

    Does this mean Jake Tapper will be the grand prize winner at the Dotard’s Dishonest and Corrupt Media Awards?

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    how is someone embarrassed by something that is not true? is it because Trump hired Steve Bannon and it turns out he’s not one of the best people and so it makes Trump look bad either way?

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    You’re about three years too late in throwing this shit off the air, you fucking assholes.

    (I tried to think of a more clever insult, but sometimes going back to basics feels right. Fucking assholes.)

  • Blackest Noobs

    Trumpies, sure do love patting themselves on the back for accomplishments they did not do or over non-accomplishments, or things that really don’t deserve a pat on the back, like for instance an interview on a news program.

  • TJ Barke

    “Stephen Miller, why are you such a servile, bootlicking lapdog, desperately wanting an authoritarian strongman?”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Because everyone else on the planet hates me?”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OK, let’s give Jake Tapper a cookie, but keep in mind that what he did meets only the most basic journalistic definition of “doing your fucking job”. In a fair world, there would be a burlap sack and baseball bats too.

    • Oblios_Cap

      and maybe wild rabid weasels.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        In the burlap sack!

  • Nounverb911

    Open letter to Miller from his DUKE classmates.

    https://twitter.com/samturpin/status/950384333138915329

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    Trump is “magical”?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      He’s a demon that was conjured up by a wizard’s spell. It’s a pity the wizard got the spell wrong, because all he wanted was a cheeseburger.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        BIG MAC LIBELZ!

    • Oblios_Cap

      He must fart fairy dust and shit rainbows…

    • anon_the_great

      trump is magical but in all the wrong ways

    • Mentally Stable Ron

      Black magic is magic too.
      #BlackMagicMatters

  • NotReallyHere

    Clearly Jake Tapper is gunning for a Fake News Award.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    only people from the White House who are not black are allowed to be condescending.

    • hudson

      well, duh!!

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        do we still have a first amendment or does that also too only apply to the White House which has all the facts because they have a like, really smart guy?

        • hudson

          quick side note. does the white house have “all the facts”? from what we have learnt so far, there are no indications to back that claim.

          a lot of info is available, but only some of it is absorbed, as far i understand.

  • Christopher Story
    • WotsAllThisThen

      And lately he’s been gluing Melania parts on the Hope Hicks doll.

      • Christopher Story

        ha!

    • hudson

      hi, i think we should take their actions more seriously and not cartoonize them. these guys end up doing serious harm, when not actively enabling stable genius types.

      • Christopher Story

        I understand, but at the same time, these people are so rediculously, cartoonishly evil.

        • hudson

          that’s true too.

      • tomamitai

        If only Charlie Chaplin hadn’t made fun of Hitler in that movie, things would surely have turned out better!
        /s

        • hudson

          see see, i understand that. while i was not yet born in those days, i have lived through enough adulthood in times when even in the face of serious incidents, the reporting was disciplined and people could get to the details and use caricature to drive home the point.

          these day’s the danger is that there are so many scandals by the hour that we stop at the level of caricature and never really get to the gravity of the issue. atleast for me it is not possible. i can either do my own job or understand these scandals properly.

          • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

            Yet satire and mocking can work. During Vietnam, a lot of standup comics dragged the White House and the army brass over the war. Their biting humor was often met with thin-skinned atrempts at censorship. It didn’t work. It only fueled the opposition and brought over some of the undecided. Same with Watergate — Nixon was an assholes, and he proved it when he went off on people who made fun of him.

          • The real problem wasn’t Chaplin or cartoonists mocking Hitler or making him out to be a silly little man rather than a murderous maniac. It was the governments of Britain, France and the other big powers who had no problem with Hitler putting Jews and communists in concentration camps until he started being a threat to other countries, and by then he was on a roll. Compare the European countries today busily looking the other way while Spain murders democracy in Catalonia: “none of our business”.

            So the problem today is the European powers, Canada, Japan and the other big allies of the EU not stepping in and relegating the US to the kiddie table until the Dorito Mussolini is gone or muzzled.

          • hudson

            ha. i didn’t read it like that. sorry my mistake.

    • Tishalicious

      Sid libelz! That child was creative and resourceful; he just needed direction. Miller doesn’t look like he can stick two legos together.

  • (((Sedagive)))

    First time watching this clip. Miller has lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes.

    I’ll give the 45 administration this: they’ve taken trolling as far as it can go, to the most powerful platform on earth. This is an act of nihilistic theatre that will never be outdone. Fascinating, terrifying and it destroys everything that the US has traditionally stood for.

    The greatest pranksters of all will be the last.

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      “And when he bites you, that eye rolls over white…and then you hear that terrible, high pitched screamin’…”
      Then security escorts him off the set.

    • Red Bird

      Don’t insult dolls.

    • grindstone

      Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.

  • ArgieBargie

    This, my friends, is the face of a sad, pathetically unfuckable Nazi.
    http://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/170212151622-stephen-miller-super-169.jpg

    • Bub, the like, cynical zombie

      I’m just glad these yoyos are so much dumber than the real Nazis. It limits the amount of damage they do.

    • tomamitai

      Lyinhard Heydrich.

    • goingohm

      Nah. The Nazis woulda measured that head and made an experiment out of him.

    • jodyleek

      Might try printing these out and placing them strategically around the outside of the house to repel rodents. On second thought, it might attract them.

  • hudson

    oh man! what the fuck did i just see? a defense based on a laundry list of unsubstantiated assertions and invectives and a combative tone. beyond that nothing of any substance.

    should have taken it seriously when started calling obama a divisive president without proving how. and now we are reduced to jade helm-ing everything and everybody.

  • reelreeler

    Remember to look for Trumps “THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR” today at 5pm. What an honor for any media outlet to be labeled “dishonest and corrupt” by the likes of you. We’re staying tuned you immature jackass. :) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4eb448ec403be4cac42706ae8267ab84142038f43f436806396fc0167c9f63c2.jpg

    • RandomNameAllocated

      EITHER 5 o’clock
      OR 5:00
      (though doesn’t that make it 5am…?)

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      Ooo, ooo, I know the answer already! The winners are (Tears open envelope) Donald J. Trump and Sarah ‘Pooty Lips’ Shuckabee Sandbox! Congratulations on this most ignoble award.

      • cmd resistor

        Her statement about Trump’s schedule was just amazingly “I can’t even.”
        In response to the article from Axios, White House press secretary Sarah Sanders wrote: “The time in the morning is a mix of residence time and Oval Office time, but he always has calls with staff, Hill members, Cabinet members and foreign leaders during this time. The President is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever seen and puts in long hours and long days nearly every day of the week all year long. It has been noted by reporters many times that they wish he would slow down because they sometimes have trouble keeping up with him.”

        • Mentally Stable Ron

          ‘Oh, wait, that was about Obama, sorry.’

    • NastyBossetti

      It was pushed back to January 17. Probably because there were so many submissions they need more time to review them all.

      • goingohm

        Or because, after he announced it, he came up with the idea of doing it.

      • cmd resistor

        Plus people need time to get their cool outfits to wear.

      • Hiss

        To say nothing of the vicious infighting among the hopeful nominees.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      But how does one give someone a Fake News Award without also giving them media attention and a cause for the show’s fan base to also support them?

      What the fuck does Trump really think this will accomplish aside from identifying the target of the next Russian bot troll farm??? Yeah, I know that that’s probably the end-point, but seriously?

      And he should be careful that he names an actual news show. He can go after late night comedians or anybody on Comedy Central because while they are his best critics, they really AREN’T news shows.

      Would a wingnut please explain how this a “genius” move???

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He’s playing 11th dimensional chess, and your lady brain is just too small to understand it. That’s just science!

    • YaJagoff

      As hard working as this asshole claims, where did he find the time to do an awards show? He’s truly an amazing kinda guy.

  • bbayliss

    “Rather than chasing that bit of fascinating anecdotage — we’d certainly like proof of this insane claim that Donald Trump has ever spoken in “paragraphs”

    Joy Reid would have been prepared with some of trump’s word salad,
    quoted it at him and said “really?”

  • sarafina

    I watched the clip, it was 12 plus minutes and I thought Jake should have stopped it sooner. I think the time alloted for the clip ended, and Jake was just trying to keep to the show. It was nice he cut Miller off, but it should have been a 6 minute clip.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      He needed o gong on his desk, so he could hit it to announce Miller should shut up.

    • cmd resistor

      There are a lot of people who should get cut off after 30 seconds and they go on and on.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      It was nice he cut Miller off, but it should have been a 6 SECOND clip. FIFY.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Yeah, Bannon had nothing to do with the Trump presidency, he was just chief strategist.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      that’s what they call all their coffee boys. you know they had no contact with Trump because Steve Miller is the Diet Coke boy.

  • puredog

    These.

    Are.

    All.

    Paragraphs.

    See, it’s easy.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      But you only managed five. Donnie can do ten, because he’s a genius.

    • hudson

      you have no idea how much i get this.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      yes. but what’s all this then?

      Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That right there is pure mentally stable, totally competent, well informed, genius.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Thank you. The papers should do more of this. It is called Flight of Ideas.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Yeah, it’s not even a Gish Gallop, and “stream of consciousness” assumes consciousness not in evidence.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        The product development scientists over at The Immodium Institute are working on a solution to this condition.

      • james crubb

        Hey that’s one paragraph.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          diagram that and I will take it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You.

      Are.

      Halfway.

      There.

      Puredog.

    • Red Bird

      Sad.

  • NotReallyHere

    I will always remember that Stephen Miller needed his father to buy his condo for him.

    The buyer for the property is listed as “Stephen Miller Cordary, Inc.,” a company whose address is the same as that of Cordary Inc., the Los Angeles-based real estate company that his father, Michael Miller, owns.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/reliable-source/wp/2017/08/07/stephen-miller-blasted-a-reporter-as-cosmopolitan-but-he-lives-in-a-1-million-citycenter-condo/?utm_term=.ea94a18805d9

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    a) attack poodle libel.

    b) what does Tapper look like? a common Ben Carson?

    c) I still don’t understand why they would give an unperson a security pass into the White House. it doesn’t seem to agree with the idea that the guy is a stable genus who hires the borscht people.

    d) how dare Jake Tapper acuse Miller of being obsequious and/or a factotum. obviously that first word is made up to try to trick them and they are not into Native American witch arts & crafts.

    • bbayliss

      ” I still don’t understand why they would give an unperson a security pass into the White House.”

      Remember when the Obama white house had a tabloid reporter sitting on the couch for days and days, and every time he was questioned about what he was doing he said “writing a book”?

    • cmd resistor

      So I thought Miller and Bannon were best buds?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        fake news. you should be embarrassed.

      • CripesAmighty

        Miller, having pulled ahead in the Toady Derby, ain’t looking back.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    FAKE FACTOTUM! FAKE FACTOTUM! YOU’RE THE FACTOTUM!

    • A Bashful Nobody

      FACTOTUM LIBELZ!

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    After he was thrown out of escorted from the building, how long do you think it took for him to scurry (He definitely looks like the scurryer type) back to the Orange House and get Trumpsterfire’s dick back in his mouth like a pacifier?

    • goingohm

      Not long enough I’m guessing.

  • CripesAmighty

    “Down Goes Howdy Heydrich!”

  • A Bashful Nobody

    Why does the administration continue to put this dead eyed lamprey on the tube? All he does is trip over his own winky.

    • Bebecca

      who else do they have? They are all condescending liars.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I believe that “condescending liar” is the actual job description.

        • Pisto75666

          Along with “Be able to inhabit a human skin comfortably”

          • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

            One-half out of two is really amazing, excellent, in Trump-era ratings!

          • Pisto75666

            The bigliest margin ever!

    • MamaBrown

      He’s what passes for an authoritative spokesperson to these knuckle draggers. They think he’s some kind of mental giant. But most of all, Trump knows he has Miller’s unquestioning, lemming like loyalty. And that is all he cares about.

  • TundraGrifter

    “And in 20 minutes, he would dictate 10 paragraphs of new material to address that event, and then deliver flawlessly before an audience of ten thousand people.”

    Speaking of garbage fiction…Apparently Kellyanne isn’t allowed on national TVs by the White House so they send out this idiot minion.

    • bbayliss

      Brilliance like this?
      “So preexisting conditions are a tough deal. Because you are basically saying from the moment the insurance, you’re 21 years old, you start working and you’re paying $12 a year for insurance, and by the time you’re 70, you get a nice plan. Here’s something where you walk up and say, “I want my insurance.” It’s a very tough deal, but it is something that we’re doing a good job of.” trump

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Everyone makes a verbal fart occasionally, but with president Pussgrab GolfsALot, it’s every damn day. He repeats the same garbage 2 or 3 times, because he’s trying to hide that he has nothing to say.

        • Hiss

          Or else he eats a lot of verbal beans and they have to come out somehow.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Well, to be fair, that’s not even one paragraph, let alone ten.

  • TiniestMiss

    Anyone ever read one of CS Lewis’ lesser-known trilogies, Out of the Silent Planet? There’s a long description of Satan inhabiting a human body to make his point, but since he’s never HAD a human body before, he can’t control it very well, and it jerks and twitches unnaturally while he’s concentrating on what he’s saying. Honestly, it’s all I could think of while watching the man child Stephen, with his odd shoulder twitch and the way he kept having to readjust his posture. OMG Stephen, WHERE DID HE PUT YOUR SOUL WHILE HE’S USING YOUR BODY?

    • A Bashful Nobody

      He sent it to a garage in Buffalo.

      • Crank Tango

        Technically, Cheektowaga.

      • Sheesko

        I see what you did there.

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      Look at those dead eyes. Stephen never had one.

    • Opalescent Riddles
      • chortlingdingo

        Get that man some sugar water!

      • handyhippie65

        did bannon get a new eggar suit? his old one was getting pretty ragged.

    • Duncan Tweedy

      Miller: “You’ve been going 24/7 with all this salacious coverage, and I know it brings you guys a lot of joy to stick the knife in…”

      Why yes, yes it does indeed.

  • rosenbomb

    And CNN execs rub their hands together and thank Trump for the ratings.

    • hudson

      hi, but trump is now the president. he is not a teevee evangelist or a random reddit commenter who’s rantings can be ignored and left un-reported.

      what the potus says has real consequences.

      • rosenbomb

        I am well-aware of that

        • At the crossroads, stay strong

          Unfortunately, he isn’t.

      • Sheesko

        True, that. But in a tweet this morning, he said his presidency is “consensual.” He he. Do you remember saying “yes” to getting fucked over? Yeah, #metoo.

        • hudson

          nothing in this whole saga was consensual, you know that right?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Donald Trump has turned Jake Tapper into a gay man. He’s snide, sarcastic, reads people for filth, and rolls his eyes so hard I’m afraid they’re going to get stuck.

    Also, too, “garbage person who wrote a garbage book?” Does Miller think he’s a Wonkette non commenter?

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Hey, hey, hey. Gay man LIBELZZZ!1!!1 Wait….

      • SDGeoff3

        Would somebody please think of the garbage people??11!!!

  • Red Bird

    The hereto covfefe was a factotem of the Trump administration.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Shouldn’t that be hereon covfefe?

      • Red Bird

        You’re right. I was trying to be fancy.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Here’s your quiz for the day. Here are the Ten Commandments of Rational Debate.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4860afaa0db3fa9a0e390cc59514093d0e5f006afd0c05d66786636027e478e0.jpg

    In the space of some 12 minutes, how many and how often did Stephen Miller break them? I’m guessing ad hominem attacks against CNN and Tapper himself would top the list.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      So, in chatting with a wingnut friend, he made a very interesting observation: He doesn’t really know what I believe when we’re arguing. He thinks I’m just arguing just for the sake of “debating”.

      This is true. Because when we’re debating, it not so much me hollering I believe this, that and the third, it’s me doing this:

      Liberal schools “indoctrinate” people??? Well, can you explain what you understand “indoctrination” to mean and what process someone would follow if they were trying to indoctrinate people?

      Liberals defended Obama all the time and developed a cult of personality as if he were “perfect”? Well, who specifically are the liberals who have claimed that Obama is above reproach?

      You showed me a several youtube video of protestors and counter-protestors screaming obscenities at each other and threatening to punch each other out and then a few fights and scuffles breaking out, to suggest that Trump supporters are under assault EVERYWHERE? But these are protesters, not random Trump supporters going about their daily business. If they are under assault wouldn’t you have been able to find footage of that outside of a protest? And no, I’m not searching for “proof” on youtube myself, you made the claim.

      So, he doesn’t know what I believe. So he somehow intuited that I’m doing something he has probably never encountered in “debate”. Why wasn’t I being some histrionic libtard snowflake harpy and screaming “SAFE SPACE!!!”?

      I don’t need my personal beliefs to inform whether or not his making a dumb argument. That’s what logic is for. He insisted he was “logical”, which was probably the most scoffworthy thing he said. I also reminded him that there are always arguments to be made, but he is not making them because he’s too fucking incoherent to be logical.

      • At the crossroads, stay strong

        You could hand him a copy of the Ten Commandments of Rational Debate, but it sounds as if he’s as aliterate as the Trumpsterfire.

      • JohnBull

        I love that line “liberal schools indoctrinate.” Is that code for “schools are correcting my kids after years of me telling them stupid shit”?

        • Lefty Wright

          You mean actually educating them, making them think and use facts to back up their opinions? Horrors!!!

  • Alice Peal

    Tapper should not have been afraid to get attacked. Miller was one twitch away from pulling a Corey Lewandowski. It would have been epic.

    • chazmanr

      After the exchange, Miller refused to leave the set and had to be escorted out by security.

  • chazmanr

    Update: Miller refused to leave the set and had to be removed by studio security.
    https://crooksandliars.com/2018/01/shocker-stephen-miller-refused-leave-cnn

  • Bebecca

    magical? seriously?

  • folderol

    (t.t.t.o. Thriller)

    It’s close to mid-morn
    Some lickspittle’s sitting ‘cross your desk
    Under the stage lights
    You see a twerp who came at your behest
    You try to ask
    some questions, but the answers are so vapid
    It’s not a breeze
    To interview a man who speaks arachnid
    That’s no surprise

    ‘Cause this is Miller
    Miller time
    And no one’s gonna save you
    from this interview, alright?
    You know it’s Miller
    Miller time
    You’re fighting to get answers
    But he’s dodging left and right
    Ahahahahahaha
    Just stop the fight

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Somebody should ask him a hypothetical: if you could go back in time to when Hitler was a child, would you try to help him win the first time around or do you prefer trying to precipitate fascism in the modern world?

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    There is no video of Mr. Miller’s removal for a reason. I’m betting the security guards had to rather forcefully explain why Mr. Miller should leave. He was probably told to watch his step and his mouth while being escorted off the property. Let us hope Mr. Miller did not slip or fall on his way out, especially considering the amount of ice on steps and sidewalks given this cold snap.
    Am I the only one who noticed that Mr. Miller couldn’t make eye contact, frequently looking down like a shamed child? He also couldn’t sit still. Get him a figit spinner.

    • ImGoingBacon

      I think Jake has video on his phone of the incident. He shows it to Anderson and Dana over lunch, for shits and giggles.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    It’s a good thing Tapper ended the spewfest when he did. Miller looked like he was seconds away from his head imploding.

    • natoslug

      In which case, the interview ended seconds too son.

  • Sashineb

    Business Insider reports that Stephen was escorted from the CNN building, by security officers, after refusing to leave the set. http://www.businessinsider.com/stephen-miller-escorted-off-cnn-2018-1

    • Juan de Fuca

      What was he hoping to accomplish by staying on the set? He is such a petulant asshole.

      • shivaskeeper

        Hoping to force a physical confrontation? Trying to verbally/mentally bully Tapper?

        He seems like the kind of pussant bully that would try something like that.

        • Juan de Fuca

          Agreed and he’s been doing it since high school. He’s such an obsequious asshole.

      • SDGeoff3

        Bullying and being intimidating. In his own Goebbels-style.

  • Mentally Stable Ron

    we’d certainly like proof of this insane claim that Donald Trump has ever spoken in “paragraphs”

    I’d like to see proof that he’s ever spoken before 10,000 people.

  • La forza del resistino

    He’s as close to Roy Cohn as you’ll get these days, Donald.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Somewhere in hell Roy Cohn says “pfffft, I wouldn’t use him to fetch my cofveve”. This was the dude who jumped in at the end of a girls track race “to demonstrate men were faster”.
      Roy Cohn had better things to do with his time, even in high school.

  • I did a spit-take early in the debacle, when he claimed that drumpf was a “self-made millionare.”

    • Crank Tango

      He started as a billionaire, so…

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Technically true, then…

        • Kerlyssa

          the best kind of true

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        How do you make a small fortune?

        Take a large one, and give it to Donald J. Trump.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Stephen Miller:

    Hated as a child (repeatedly dropped on his head):
    Hated in high school
    Hated in college
    Hated as Senator Sessions’ butt plug
    Hated in the campaign
    Hated in the White House
    Hated now by the majority of Americans.

    Another Trump success story.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Someone should get Miller mad enough to take a swing at them. He seems like just the type of unstable weirdo who might actually take the bait in front of cameras.

  • Lefty Wright

    Tapper lost any good will from me by his later interview with Adam Schiff. Schiff stated the FBI investigation into the Clinton Foundation clearly looked like political interference in the Justice Departmrnt. Jake decides to play devil’s advocate and starts with What If arguments. Do you know for sure? Schiff responds that it does not take a genius to figure out that after weeks of calls by Trump to investigate, Sessions passed an order down. Well what if there is NEW evidence, asks Jake. Schiff responds that he has not heard of anything new. Well, as the big boss Democrat on the Intelligence Committee, have you asked?. Schiff gives him a stare like you think Sessions will tell me a fucking thing just because I asked?

    Apparently Jake forgot orders that no executive branch agency was to give any information to minority party membership of congress. And he apparently expected Schiff to produce an email from Trump telling Sessions to investigate the Clinton Foundation, with a response saying “yes, your highness, right away!” . With a notarized statement by Trump and Sessions confirming it’s authenticity. Cut the crap Jake. If the FBI had a shred of new evidence on anything to do with Clinton, it would have been leaked to Nunes and Fox News before the ink dried on the authorization to investigate and Fox headlines would be saying “Clinton Guilty, Guilty, Guilty!!!! LOCK HER UP!!!” Just like Comey did with his letter to the GOP members of Congress in late October 2016.

    So Jake, Thank you (for cutting off Miller), and Fuck you (for your gotta hammer both sides, even if I look stupid with my whataboutisms). How much you want to bet all you will hear on right wing media is how rude Jake was to Miller, but Schiff was just spouting lies.

  • mardam422

    Miller to Trump: The TV man was mean to me!

  • At the crossroads, stay strong
    • Parakeetist

      He always looks like he’s barely awake.

    • MamaBrown

      Its amazing how all his features are in the bottom half of his face. He looks like a Star Trek alien.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Without the charm.

    • Jennaratrix

      I know we’re not a’sposed to get all ad hominem-y but HOLY CRAP that’s a big forehead.

      • shivaskeeper

        That’s not a forehead, it’s a fivehead.

        • Jennaratrix

          Goddamn it I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself.

          • SDGeoff3

            Victor Borge may have beaten you to it.

        • Bob

          Maybe it’s to make up for his threeskin

          • shivaskeeper

            Now that I wish I had though of.

    • canes_pugnaces

      A cone head. I knew it.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Eyes deader than Scott Walker’s.

  • JohnBull

    24/7 salacious coverage? Not a chance, not unless another plane disappears.

  • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

    Angermuppet.

    I… I am basking in the glory of that word with my toes clenched.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “o, that wasn’t condescending, it was snide,”

    And that’s when I knew it was a Dok Zoom piece.
    (I like to read the pieces and guess the authors)

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Words mean things, or at least they used to.

    • Zyxomma

      I do the same. I knew with the first Orwell reference.

      • Whereas if it contains references to buttsechs or the word “B-hole”, it’s Evan

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Now I have a delightful mental image of Miller exiting the studio like this:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7f60183332861725df501559493372803822b1e873f349eb79613aae422d0402.gif

    • BrianW

      At least Stitch was more likable by the end of the movie; Stephen Miller not so much at all.

  • susan_g

    Bring back Pauly Shore for some more Stephen Miller.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Kudos to Jake Tapper for refraining from reaching across the table and throttling that little pipsqueak right there on national television. It’s more than I could do, if I had been him.

    For the record, “with votes.”

    • just_jim

      Shame on Kudos to Jake Tapper for refraining from reaching across the table and throttling that little pipsqueak right there on national television. It’s more than I could do, if I had been him.

      For the record, “with votes.”

      FIFY

  • goonemeritus

    I love the way he continues to jabber on after being told that he is wasting everyone time. He reminds me of those Moonies that would chase you down the street trying to convert you in the 1970’s.

  • Major^3 Andre

    CNN releases footage of Miller in the Green Room. https://media.tenor.com/images/4a7037efdf2e08767739bf9732051a1f/tenor.gif

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      I chortled!

      • SDGeoff3

        I guffawed!

  • Hemp Dogbane

    It’s nice to be reminded we are tapping into something magical.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Shorter Stephen Miller: “Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

    I would put up serious coin to watch Triumph the Insult Comic Dog interview Miller.

    • Dg Hacket

      He is a cup filled with the cream of human goodness

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        …Unless you count the preschool prostitution ring…Heavy Metal libulz.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      and hard working. Truly a role model for the children.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “Dammit, Jake, do some goddamn journalism instead of getting defensive.”

    About the only time journalists call the Trump bunch on their nonsense is when their integrity is attacked. The rest of the time, it’s the usual sloppy, both-sides-do-it, anything-for-“access” stenography they’ve been doing since at least the Bush Administration.

    • TundraGrifter

      Major Garrett has done an excellent job of first stating what the President said and then correcting him with the facts of the matter.

    • chicken thief

      That’s not our job.

      ~ Chuckles Todd, paraphrased

      • The Wanderer

        Chuckles needs to be shaved using fuming nitric acid and votes.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Mike Schmidt was criticized for going softball with his interview with Stable Genius. A week later, he wrote a bombshell article with revelations concerning all things Mueller investigation. It’s kind of like opening a chess game with a sacrifice and getting a quick win. Could be that other journalists are playing that game. I hope.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Schmidt had the article written, and the WH found out about it, is my guess. I think they offered him the interview hoping he’d tone down the final edit after being moved on like a bitch by the smoovest of operators.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    ‘d lk t dsmvwl Stv Mllr.
    Wth vts.

    • SDGeoff3

      I’d guess disemvowel could be safe. It’s what Mr. Tapper did.

  • Poly_Ester

    Trump being the “smartest president of modern times” might be true if by modern times one means since Feb 2017.

  • amindofitsown

    So, if the book is “garbage”, why would Miller say “it’s tragic and unfortunate that Steve would make these grotesque comments”?

    • TundraGrifter

      Needless consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Any consistency…

  • azeyote

    it’s lick ass or get your nickname (whatever sleazy thing trump has seized on) publicized

  • Zyxomma

    Duckspeak. Exactly.

  • Jack

    “Tis fuckin’ guy!” Miller is as Crazy as Demented Donald the Dick!

  • Tiffany de Houston

    Stephen Miller is a whiny little pissant.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I can’t imagine being in the same room with Miller without [redacted] before [redacted] until a doctor has to pull it out, but I wish Tapper had let the crazy continue.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Naw, we’d heard enough- he was right, it was wasting our time

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Pretty sure that Miller would eventually have had a rage stroke. With votes.

  • Typical Trump Supporter

    Stephen Miller looks like a reanimated corpse.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Looks like a sick penis.

    • Paperless Tiger

      I talked with a zombie.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      His minimal to almost non-existent blinking brings to mind a reptile. Makes me think 1) he looks and acts like a psychopath, 2) I bet his limbic system is as active or more active than his frontal lobes, and 3) I gotta go research the differences between brain activity in psychopaths compared to non-psychopaths. I can almost guarantee PET scans would show more activity in the limbic system structures in pyschopaths.

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        He’s mega-creepy. I’d feel better about being locked in a closet with a gaboon viper.

    • SDGeoff3

      Yes he does!

    • just_jim

      Reanimated?

  • Bad Tom

    Obsequious Factotum is my new ironic punk band name.

    • yyyaz

      The irony really sells it.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Sounds more like black metal than punk to me. Or maybe math rock.

      • Bad Tom

        Meth rock. Yeah, meth rock.
        ——-
        Ya wanna hit, dude?

  • Fartknocker

    Man do I miss the days of Joe the Plumber and Sarah Palin. Those were fun times.

    • Paperless Tiger

      That was as low as it gets. Oh, wait!

  • chicken thief

    Is Stephen Miller the love child of Carter Page and Jared?

    • lowenufc

      There was no love in the creation of Stephen Miller.

  • chicken thief

    Sure, The Donald now acknowledges that Miller is “with the Trump Administration” but just wait until he is indicted…

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      They drink a lot of coffee. They need a lot of coffee bringers.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    That was just Miller’s audition tape to be the new Steve Bannon

    • Lord Jim

      Imma speculate that there’s plenty of room in Miller’s gob for his own micropeen and Trump’s.

    • WIDTAP

      No, we do not want to see Little Stevie Miller sucking his own cock.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        yesterday we finally got to see Bannon sucking someone else’s cock

        and it sure was unseemly…

      • everstar

        He’s got to do it, though. No one else will.

  • chicken thief

    “…“tap into something magical that’s happening in the hearts of this country,”…”

    Or “racist” if you prefer Hemingway conciseness.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    instead of simply asking Miller for an example of some specific event the book got wrong

    THIS! Even Tapper, one of the supposed ‘good ones’, fails J school 101. What is so fucking difficult about asking follow up questions that not one of these useless stenographers seems capable of doing so?

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      That being the case, Miller could have fictionalized an event toute suite.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Then you nail his ass to wall for it- can’t do that without forcing him to go on record and lie though

  • Gorillionaire

    Miller is the product of Duke University. I always like to point that out.

    • Hiss

      The parapsychology program?

      • Notreelyhelping

        “I see three cards…and all have turds on them.”

  • DeathPanelTruck

    CNN needs to go further than just bitch-slapping these assholes. They need to stop inviting them onto their shows, period.

    http://www.ginandtacos.com/2018/01/07/play-acting-journalism/

    • Hardly Ideal

      Tell me about it. “This man is a hysterical human-shaped turd. Let’s interview him for 12 goddamned minutes.”

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Stephen Miller, for when you prefer your Nazis direct from central casting.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    My list is growing every day of people for whom I would feel desperately sorry, if only they were not hell-demons from the slimiest and stinkiest portion of the bowels of Hell.

    I mean, if this guy was some poor loon on a subway car, I’d feel bad for him.

  • chicken thief

    “Stable genius”, with the lowest vocabulary level of the past 15 preznits.

    http://factba.se/blog/2018/01/08/stable-genius-lets-go-to-the-data/

    • Petunia Cat

      “Stable genius“ “ Executive Time“ 😞

    • BigHorn

      I scanned preznits as pretzels. It still works.

  • The title “Firing the Furries” reminds me of Margaret Atwood’s story “Torching the Dusties,” from the collection Stone Mattress. Great read!

    Not that I would violate the rules by suggesting a certain dotard be dusty-torched or mattress-stoned, or whether he might deserve it.

  • chimpevil

    Miller nailing the role of Heinrich Himmler in the Rise and Fall of the Trump Reich. Or maybe he’s just a pissy barn owl.

    https://youtu.be/0NUiSAo_ie0

    • SDGeoff3

      What a cutie.

  • Lord Jim

    I saw a man who was a political genius,
    somebody who — we would be going down, landing, in descent there would
    be a breaking news development. And in 20 minutes, he would dictate 10
    paragraphs of new material to address that event, and then deliver
    flawlessly before an audience of ten thousand people.

    I think that random collection of wordspew that constituted the NYT interview rather debunks that.

    • Toledo Window Box

      And then he played a round of golf and shot 19 holes in one.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        and a dozen in the other?

    • mailman27

      Paragraphs? PARAGRAPHS???? He can’t even put a sentence together!!!

  • Donna Mueller

    “…and now back to CNN-and planet earth.”-PRICELESS

  • Opalescent Riddles

    In response to a question about whether Don Jr. would have met with Russians and not taken the opportunity to introduce his distinguished guests to dad, Miller started off with theatrical sorrow at Steve Bannon’s uninformed speculation…

    Help me out, noncommentariatti. This question about whether DerpJr took the Russians to see his (allegedly real) dad has been floating around ONLY EVER SINCE WE FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT MEETING, because it’s a fucking obvious question. So Bannon’s reported speculation is just the latest opportunity to bring it up yet again, but Stevie should have had a fucking answer at the ready. His tactic here of going off on Bannon is simply a deflection.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Of course it was a deflection- and it worked

    • Kooolest G

      one of trump’s brilliant lawyers let the cat out of the bag months ago when it first came out. he said if these russians were really spies, secret service would have vetted them and kept them out. if secret service was vetting them, that means they met trump himself, secret service doesn’t give a shit who junior meets with

  • Granny Sprinkles

    In case this hasn’t been discussed yet, I’d like to draw attention to Miller’s unusual use of “hysterical” to describe Tapper. We all know that Tapper wasn’t hysterical on air. “Hysterical”, like most other words, has an actual meaning – and in no way describes Tapper’s state or behavior.

    So why the odd choice?
    The word hysteria is derived from the Greek word for uterus. By using “hysterical” to describe Tapper, Miller is speaking to his meninist buddies. The odd incels and MGTOWs of the world heard Miller say “Jake Tapper is crazy and irrational like a girl.”

    • TimResistit

      I’ll bet a bit of some projection, too. His boss reliably projects his own flaws onto others.

  • The Wanderer

    Firing the Furries? What did they do?

    • Kiri the Like, Smart Unicorn

      Clogged the spa filter again?

  • Weird Fishes

    I think we’re being too hard on poor Stevie. He was at the Bowling Green Massacre and barely escaped with his life. We should be honoring him, not questioning him.

    Also, that boy just needs a monocle, and a black leather trench coat, and a cigarette holder for the picture to be complete.

    • The Wanderer

      Monocle in the right eye, alt-Heidelberg dueling scar on the left cheek.

      • pstokk

        Scar self-inflicted with slightly contrasting-colored acne cream.

    • Toledo Window Box

      And a hairless cat on his lap.

  • NotALiar

    How the fucking shit fuck is this real fucking life? Fuck.

    • SDGeoff3

      See just above you. ^ ^ ^

  • Hardly Ideal

    Good lord, this is why I never watch these interviews. Instead of watching that human turd get a soap box to yell on, we’d be better served using that time to watch the Mythbusters literally polish turds.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJ9fy1qSFI

  • Toledo Window Box

    This was clearly the best interview of the Trump Error so far. Tapper showed us all how it’s done.

    • chimpevil

      Mein Fuerher I can talk!

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Come on, Stephen, you’re not fooling anybody. We are on to you, dude.

    http://www.illusionsfaceandbodyart.com/photos/Fantasy%20face%20Painting/jjuly08%20199.jpg

  • chimpevil

    I could post a video of a dude sucking out another’s dude’s ass, but it would be redundant.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      I give thanks for small favors here.

  • Joshua Norton

    From there, Miller was into full Attack Poodle mode

    Every member of this administration that “talks tough” is is really just a little punk-ass b*tch. Especially Pee Wee Hermann Goering-Miller.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Paul Reubens libelz!

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        Pee-Wee at least gave us some laughs!

        • Peripatetic Poltroon

          And he has a nicer bicycle.

          • Tokays_don’t_blink

            True, despite that unfortunate business in the basement of the Alamo…

  • mark99k

    Jeez, why would they even let him out of his cage? He’s quivering wuss — insecure, inarticulate, and embarrassing. I can’t even imagine Trump’s base taking a liking to him.

  • finnbar2
  • rocktonsam

    Ten paragraphs of really really, really great.

  • TimResistit

    Stephen Miller looks like a human Nazi salute.

  • Grizzly

    The way the Trumpeters talk about Bannon, and others remind me of something. What was it? Oh yeah, I remember.
    http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/08/22/weekinreview/29702017.JPG

  • LiberalANDProud

    “Steve Bannon’s eloquence in that description notwithstanding, it’s tragic and unfortunate that Steve would make these grotesque comments.”

    You have to give Miller real credit. It takes real talent for a bottom boy to both punch and then lick the balls of his top at the same time.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      He’s had a lot of practice sticking his own head up his ass. That gets the position right.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    he reminds me of the non-stop yapping Chihuahua next door.

    • spacecat in space

      Is there such a thing as a neighboring chihuahua that isn’t non-stop yapping?

      • Anne Of Green Bagels

        they’re very rare but they do exist.

        • spacecat in space

          The non-yappers’re actually corgis, aren’t they?

      • handyhippie65

        uuummm, (looking at a fresh pile of dirt.) what chihuahua?

        • spacecat in space

          (Psst! If you feed it to a real dog, there’s no tell-tale dirt mound.)

    • stubbornirishlass

      Yapping Chihuahua libelz.

  • james crubb

    I thought dump was too busy executiving to watch CNN.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    Miller said quite a bit with “little Donny” in his mouth.

    • handyhippie65

      and he didn’t even mumble. he must get a lot of practice. think he’s still got a gag reflex?

  • everstar

    Trump Force One?
    Trump Force One?
    Trump Force Fucking One?

    I can’t. I just can’t. I hope this guy has to fly coach in the far back on the Crying Baby Overnight.

  • JParkerSD46

    Please, please, please…can I please punch Steven Miller right in his smug little, high-foreheaded face just once? Please??? He is truly the most punchable face in all the world.

    • WannabeTraveler

      Make sure its not on video. lol

    • ralph_the_wonder_llama

      I don’t know… I still think Miller’s got a little ways to go before his face is as punchable the Pharma Bro’s.

      • spacecat in space

        FIVE MOST-PUNCHABLE FACES IN THE USA

        1) Nazi Dude Richard Whatever
        2) Paul Ryan
        3) Pharma Bro
        4) Steven Miller
        5) Ajit Pai

        • Just saying

          You have not seen the face of the Google Douche, which manages to beat Ajit.

          • spacecat in space

            I actually managed to forget the Google Memo Guy existed. How blissful.

        • little miss high and mighty

          Miley ibelz!

          • spacecat in space

            Cyrus? Nah. She makes me want to puke, not punch.

          • little miss high and mighty

            Why not
            you know, both; Spacecat?

          • spacecat in space

            She’s not worth the effort of punching. She’s mostly something we should ignore until it goes away. An annoying fly, not a human-shaped toxic waste dump like Richard Whatshisface Nazi-bro.

            Also, it’s weird to want to punch a smallish-sized young woman. I don’t particularly like the idea of punching smallish-sized young men, either. How about we leave the smallish-sized young folk who aren’t actually fucking evil but more annoying and vaguely grossing off of the punching list?

          • little miss high and mighty

            Yes, we here at LMH&M woud never condone actua violence. It is against humanity and not nice, besides being counterproductive (pace, Abe Lincoln and some of the First Nation kinds).
            But the difference is “want to puke” vs “want to punch”.
            Old IRA insider jibe was wanting to kill was somehow worse than unwiling killing, or somethings. It follows that kiing is ok so ing as you do it against you own will. Hence conscription and enforced social debt.
            But we are firmly opposed to actua violence but love WB cartoons and the 3 Stooges, anywayze.

          • spacecat in space

            Whereas I’m totes OK with punching the ever living fuck outta Pharma Bro and Richard Nazi Dude. And any Nazi, really. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e8777e9ca53b1d48f3ee97e22b6932b48b7020af3e46bd8fa79a31d49955a153.jpg

          • little miss high and mighty

            another problem here
            we sucks at punching anyway
            But far be it from us to discourage such in the name of
            anti facism

  • Bob

    “factotum”
    Is that a fact which has been pulled from one’s rectum?
    Someone else’s rectum?
    Rectum? Hell, we nearly killed ’em!!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      ♫ Largo al factotum della merda Trump
      La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
      Largo al factotum della merda Trump
      La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
      Ah bravo, Millero,
      Bastardo maldestro
      Ebreo che odia se stesso,
      E gli Stati Uniti
      E gli Stati Uniti

      Stupido stronzo-o-o-o-o-nzo
      Dal quartiere nazista.
      Nazista, Nazista, Nazista.
      Ah, bravo, Millero
      Tutti mi intervistano,
      Non più, CNN.
      Più, NBCN.
      Tra-la-la-la-la-la
      Nessuno mi intervisterà,
      Nessuno mi intervisterà.
      Nessuno mi intervisterà perché sono un idiota.
      Largo al factotum della merda Trump
      La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
      Largo al factotum della merda Trump
      La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
      Dall’orinale.
      Dall’orinale.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      Wharf? I thought you said to go down on the dwarf! (Martin Mull) 😂😂😂

  • anomie

    I was commenting on how dead Miller’s eyes are while we watched this yesterday, and my husband pointed out something else: How much Stephen Miller looks like Roy Cohn.

    Now we know where Trump’s Roy Cohn is. Except, as with all things in the Trump Administration, a dumber version (but just as reprehensible).

  • Keith Taylor

    But but but but BUT!
    That is not what the headline says over on Gateway Pundit!
    It says over there, CNN Crank Jake Tapper gets ROASTED on Twitter after Stephen Miller Takes Him to School.
    Then I looked for myself on YouTube. What I saw and heard was Stephen Miller giving a new definition to lickspittle. Had to get drunk.
    Did Gateway Pundit err?

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Gateway Pundit never errs. Heck, breitbart can tell you that.

    • Tio_Doidinho

      Apparently aggressively shameless fellatio now qualifies as “owning” a journalist in the conservasphere.

  • Of all of the people in that insane asylum, this guy looks the most Nazi-istic.

    • WannabeTraveler

      He would also get the award for the most likely to be a serial killer.

      • thixotropic jerk

        ERIC AND DONNIE JR LIBELZZZ!!!11!!

    • phoenix00

      … Sloppy Steve might want to have a word with you.

  • This is who I think of every time this bag of shit speaks. From the movie Der Untergang

    https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/5/55/Joseph_Goebbels.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140926094647

    • Tio_Doidinho

      I’ve always felt slightly bad for Ulrich Matthes, because dear effing god he nails Goebbel’s ugly creepiness.

      Though looking at his IMDB profile, he seems to work all the time in German film & tv:

      http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0559890/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t4

  • FeloniousMonk

    Is there such a thing as Dunning-Kruger by proxy? I think Miller may have it. Also, thanks, Dok, for reminding me of a song I haven’t listened to in years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goNOCSOSdtc

    • phoenix00

      Thing is Miller isn’t dumb – he’s very highly educated.

      The bigger problem is he’s a jerk asshole in bed with an even bigger jerkier asshole.

  • Jezzam

    Crooked Hillary (repeated 5x) + big beautiful wall (repeated 5x) = flawless memorization skills. Eek

  • moeman
    • LadyLaz

      I can’t get over the fact he was the police detective on monk

  • Kryptonian Canis

    If 2017 has taught me anything, it is always trust your instincts when someone’s face and personality radiate a distinctly creepy impression.

    I mean, I can’t prove Stephen Miller has secretly murdered, dismembered, and then eaten at least a dozen people, I just know it to be true.

    • Just saying

      Google this, and remember this – Joe Scarborough legit murdered an intern.

      • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

        Yeah, you know we all know morning Joe is a bag of dicks, but the whole murder thing is a Donald Trump/ Dead Breitbart talking point ala Pizzagate. Best not to go down roads that lead to child slavery camps on Mars.

      • Natalie Frenshen

        Okie dokie, comrade.

  • The Rick

    I’ve been reading about this stupid thing Fox News does all the time. I’m open to debate on anything… also criminals should pay, I don’t care who they are.

  • ken_kukec

    Miller sticking a shiv in Bannon is like the mob button man being given the contract to take out his mentor.

    Et tu, Stevie?

    • Toledo Window Box

      No honor among thieves.

  • mailman27

    A dumb guy’s idea of what a smart guy, etc…

  • The Very Stable Librarian

    Miller is the epitome of a brown nosed toady, no disrespect to toads.

  • handyhippie65

    how can dumpy not understand, the more he calls it fake news, the more believable it is? i’m sorry. i forgot who i was talking about for a second. understanding is not a quality he possesses. nor is compassion, empathy, intelligence, integrity, humanity, gravitas, the list is like, really long.

  • glennisw

    speaking of flunkies…..

  • Squeegee

    Stephen Miller is the most revolting representation of a certain type of deeply closeted gay male conservative. Because they are unable to live as openly gay men they lash out with hatred and frustration.

    He loved the beautiful Latino jock in high school but the jock didn’t feel him, so he turned against Latino’s and immigrants in bitterness at his rejection.

    He reminds me of that guy who worked with Bush to rally the anti-gay marriage forces to vote Dubya into office who came out as gay later…he lives in my apartment building and I see him taking the elevator up to his penthouse apartment with gay tricks half his age all the time

    • Sarah E. Grove

      Ken Mehlman? (probably misspelled)

  • Tj McGee Wright

    “Eleqoence”, “Grotesque” – the guy is clearly an overly-enthused middle schooler (presumably at a somewhat Third Reich styled establishment) and super impressed with themselves for having just discovered what a thesaurus is.

  • Tj McGee Wright

    Also kudos to the Miller-Trump duo here for leaving all questions of the books factual claim(s) redundant; anyone who responds describing THE OTHER GUY as ‘a flunky’ leaves their sanity (or lack thereof) unambiguous. Eighteen bucks of book money$ well saved!

  • ibwilliamsi

    How many times did you suppose that someone tried to explain “obsequious” to Twitler before they gave up?

  • HELysia99

    Wow, is this clown Miller drunk?
    —trump Force One…UGHHHHHH

  • Steve Haughn

    Please, have some empathy for Herr Miller, he lost his grandfather in a WW 2 German Concentration Camp,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    He fell out of the “guard tower”!

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