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Yes, yes. It’s a Ricktatorship.

Remember how exciting it was that Democrats in the Virginia House of Delegates (they can’t just have “representatives” because the state constitution says everything has to be Ye Olde Quainte and Olde-Timeye) had, in a single election, erased a Republican majority when a recount last month gave the Democrat, Shelly Simonds, the win by ONE VOTE, and we were all excited, because HOLY SHIT? Unfortunately, after that recount, and because the Democrat Simonds had won, the Republicans challenged to have this one contested ballot included, and the three Republican election judges said, sure, looks like that there’s a vote for Republican David Yancey, the incumbent. Seriously, this goddamned mess of what any sane election system would toss as a spoiled ballot gave Yancey one more vote, and a tie:

The fuck is that thing? The election judges gave the ballot to Yancey after deciding the line drawn through the bubble for Simonds indicated the voter had changed their mind — but a similar “X” through the single vote for Ralph Northam seems to indicate the voter might just have well started by mis-marking the ballot for Yancey. We say it’s broccoli, and we say the hell with it. And so does Virginia state law, not that anyone was paying attention.

For more on what a complete farce the recount challenge was, see this excellent overview by Carolyn Fiddler. Just one example of how Team Yancey disregarded the law in order to get that one fucked-up vote included:

Oh, and there’s plenty more: One of the three election judges had been recommended for the job by Yancey himself, three years ago, but didn’t recuse himself. Fiddler details other deviations from proper recount procedure that should have led to Yancey’s challenge being overturned. But hey, the Republican-appointed election judges had a Republican seat to save. And the first fallback, the gerrymandering that meant a 10-point advantage in total votes statewide barely resulted in a freaking TIE, had already failed to sufficiently disenfranchise Democrats. Clearly, Virginia needs a voter fraud commission.

Simonds sued to overturn Yancey’s challenge, but a three-Republican-judge panel said no, ma’am, that’s a perfectly cromulent vote for Yancey, and today a random drawing was held, giving the win to Yancey.

Hey, in case it makes you any less outraged, Simonds and Yancey’s names were placed in identical film cannisters inside “a special bowl crafted by the resident potter at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts.” Whose budget the one-vote Republican minority in the House of Delegates will probably cut.

We can still feel great about Democrats having taken 15 seats away from Republicans in Virginia’s lower house, but that ballot stinks — and let’s hope it fires up Virginia Dems enough to keep them good and mad until the 2019 state elections. Ralph Northam will be inaugurated as governor on January 13, and that single R vote may mean the goal of expanding Medicaid in the state for 400,000 Virginians may fall just short, unless a couple of Republicans in the lower house can be persuaded to vote for it.

Republicans maintain a 21-19 majority in the state legislature’s upper house (Virginians charmingly call it the “Senate”), so even if Simonds had won the Delegate seat and forced power-sharing, passage of Medicaid expansion wasn’t guaranteed. The Senate had at least agreed in its last term to a modified Medicaid expansion that would have used public funds to buy poor people private insurance, so there’s still some prospect of a deal for full expansion of plain old Medicaid Medicaid. With any luck, Virginia Rs will listen to the polling, which shows widespread public support for Medicaid expansion — except among Republicans, of course.

A few Virginia Rs might even take the risk of supporting Medicaid expansion in hopes of not being defeated by a Democrat in 2019, eh? Could that happen? We like to think nice thoughts.

Then again, in an indication of Republican respect for fair play for all, The Hill notes that while Virginia law allows the loser of a tie-election draw to request one more recount, Ms. Simonds said in advance that she “would not request a second recount if she lost the drawing. Yancey declined to make the same pledge.”

Imagine that.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money, which we are happy to say can’t be gerrymandered.

[The Hill / WaPo / Vox]

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  • Michael Smith

    As a Steelers fan, this is kind of how I felt after the Patriots game this season.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Me too FFS. Here’s hoping we get revenge in the playoffs!

      • (((Aron)))

        HA HA HA, NOPE.

    • Eileen Besse

      As a Patriots fan since their “Patsies” days in the cellar, I know how you feel.

  • hudson

    completely OT.
    It’s way more than a foot already with howling winds fuck off. we are not even half way through. so far it’s powdery dry so thats good. but i already have double the amount of street plough already on my driveway.

    hopefully howling winds keep power lines and trees dry. rest all we can deal with.

  • chiefkurtz

    Yeah, the whole purpose of having rules regarding spoiled ballots is to relieve anyone from having to adjudicate voter ‘intent’. The fact that Jil Vogel (R), the Lt. Gov. candidate got 49,000 more votes than Ed Gillespie (R) negates any notion of this being a party line voter.

  • MynameisBlarney

    This gives me a case of the Inspector Dreyfus Eye Twitch.

  • Oblios_Cap

    A law is more of a guideline for the Republicans when they don’t agree with it. Or the interpretation what they want it to say, even if the words appear to clearly state otherwise.

  • beingreleased
  • ArgieBargie

    This is, quite literally, why we can’t have nice things.

    Republicans may be idiots in many ways. But goddamn, they make brilliant bullies.

    • CripesAmighty

      That is because they are up encumbered by such concepts as fair play, decency, sharing, or personal rectitude. Their entire ethos is to grab whatever they can from whomever they can until they’re dead or there’s nothing left to grab. And they can’t conceive of the notion that anyone would think differently.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    This pisses me off. It’s not even the Electoral College. It’s just fuckery.

  • Jennaratrix

    By their logic, they should have counted that ballot as one vote for each of them. And then Simonds still wins.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      They shoulda thrown it out completely. No votes for anybody, including Northam. Then Simonds still wins. And it looks fair.
      Therefore, they weren’t going to do that, obvs.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • memzilla Ω

    Dear Virginia Rethuglicans:
    A voter fraud commission is NOT SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY COMMIT VOTE FRAUD.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Cuts out the middleman.

    • hudson

      i always thought it was right there in the name. commission to commit voter fraud. nothing in the name says anything about prevention.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      This^^^.

  • calliecallie

    How is this even allowed to happen?
    Is it snowing in Virginia right now? Because maybe God is trying to tell those people something. Damn.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Republicans maintain a 21-19 majority in the state legislature’s upper house (Virginians charmingly call it the “Senate”),

    I don’t get the sarcasm here? I thought most States call their upper house the Senate. Maybe Cato the Elder would be upset about that, but I don’t think it’s unusual. Now the House of Reprobates Delegates is a little more unusual of a name.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      I liked em better when they were Burgesses

    • Bitter Scribe

      I think Dok was playing off his earlier sarcasm of “they can’t just have “representatives” because the state constitution says everything has to be Ye Olde Quainte and Olde-Timeye.”

  • janecita
  • schmannity

    Figures don’t lie and liars figure.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    On top of all the vote suppression and gerrymandering, “close enough to steal” is still too close.

  • BadKitty904

    This is why we ALL need to get out and vote.

  • Bananas Foster

    Every single Wonkette headline photograph today (so far) is a picture of a man.

    Even the one about Virginia stealing an election from a woman.

    Just an observation.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      ‘Tis a fair cop.

    • beingreleased

      Aren’t they also all stories about horrible people?

      • Bananas Foster

        Four of the articles feature photos that aren’t of the villains.

    • doktorzoom

      Another reason to use more pony pics. Equestria is a matriarchy.

      Mind you, if Michonne or Carol had declared the end of post-zombie-apocalypse democracy, I’d have used them.

      I’ll definitely keep your point in mind; in this particular case, it was the meme sentiment that I wanted, though.

      https://taylorramage.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/the_four_equestrian_princesses_s03e13.png

      • Bananas Foster

        I totally get it. ALL THE MALE FACES just struck me as I was scrolling through articles.

  • proudgrampa

    Bullshit.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh lord. Sarah’s getting downright snippy with the WH Press Corps. Basically said that they were the ones “fixated” on the book and nobody’s asking questions about all the “good things” that are happening.

    Girl, sit your unfashionable behind all the way down.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      “Wah! Why don’t you want to talk about what I want to talk about?”

      • elviouslyqueer

        She just called a reporter “ignorant” TO HIS FACE.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Dan Ackroyd should sue her for that.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          And these tools will sit there and take it because “access”

        • jesterpunk

          Did he sit back down and not say anything because he wants access?

          • dshwa

            Do you even have to ask?

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          What does it take to offend these people? Yesterday she called them liars and they laughed along with her.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            no invite to the cocktail parties- as long as they get that, everything is good

        • kaydenpat

          Like her President.

    • Apple Scruff

      She just called the one dude “ignorant”.

      This is the first press briefing I’ve watched in a very long time cause I’m home due to snow. She is clearly rotting from the inside out.

      • kaydenpat

        Arrogant is the perfect word for her President. That dude should have told her that.

      • lofishman

        She isn’t rotting. She is the rot!

    • proudgrampa

      “Poot Lips? Screw her!”

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh my god, this bitch right here. The entire Press Corps should get up from their seats, hand off their earrings, and beat her repeatedly with their shoes.

      • Shan

        You knew my grandma?!

    • SayItWithWookies

      What, aren’t they asking about the Mueller investigation? That’s one of the good things.

    • dslindc

      And crease the tablecloth?

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      Take your walleye with you, madam.

    • kaydenpat

      All she does is lie. Not even sure why the media wastes time asking her questions that she refuses to answer truthfully.

      • ImGoingBacon

        For the LOLs back at the office water cooler.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        So they can throw it back to the network pundits who will spend the rest of the day feigning outrage- it’s all kabuki theater

    • Shan

      What’s wearing her today?

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        TJ Maxx Homegoods?

        • Shan

          Hahahaha!

    • CripesAmighty

      Rich people are loading up the nation’s wealth at the greatest rate in history. Isn’t that great?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      What good things?

    • cmd resistor

      So she also said the media is mean to question Trump’s mental fitness for office.
      “It’s disgraceful and laughable,” White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders told reporters. “If he was unfit, he probably wouldn’t be sitting there.”
      Sanders argued Trump would not have been able to defeat a large field of challengers in the 2016 Republican presidential primary if he was not mentally healthy.
      “This is an incredibly strong and good leader,” she said.

      • Ill-Advised

        “Probably.”

  • Ryan Denniston

    We’ve had two goddam Republican preznits in a row elected by a minority of people and a majority of land. I salute your capacity to still get outraged at American “democracy.”

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • BadKitty904

    OT: “But…but…but what if I’m attacked by a Muslin or a bear or a brown?!?1?

    Atlanta Police: Please, No Guns in Cars at Championship Game
    https://www.apnews.com/0f676cc48ed14bf68096d39c243935d3/Atlanta-Police:-Please,-no-guns-in-cars-at-championship-game

    Atlanta’s mayor is promising a “safe, smooth and secure” college football championship game Monday, despite the traffic problems expected to be caused by President Donald Trump’s motorcade, but none of the many agencies involved are taking any chances.

    The stadium will be secured by legions of undercover and uniformed officers, overhead air traffic including drones will be prohibited and the police chief implored the more than 100,000 participants in events related to the big game to leave their guns at home.

    • jesterpunk

      You would think Trump would insist on guns being allowed because something something gun free zones are bad.

      • BadKitty904

        And because “guns aren’t the problem”.

      • Bobathonic

        IK,R? More Good Guys with guns means he’d be super-safe. Duh.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I’ll bet one of the first things Assmouth does is thank everyone for coming.

    • Cosmic Owl 2

      Oh, FFS.

      It means much more noise and traffic here.

      • BadKitty904

        Thanks, GOP!!!

        • Cosmic Owl 2

          Like it isn’t enough that I am awakened to the beep, beep, beep of some earthmoving machinery eternally backing up from 6am-6pm, now we gotta put up with Alabama AND the moron Trump.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            IKR? How the fuck do they back up continuously? Don’t they ever need to move forward?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Huh. And after Trump told us more guns is more safer.

      • BadKitty904

        He lied, apparently. Again.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Wait, what? Is Dumpy going to some kind of sportsball event?

      • Oblios_Cap

        I imagine he’s going to hangout with a real billionaire; the Falcon’s owner.

      • BadKitty904

        For the hotdogs, popcorn, crackerjacks, etc.

    • Bitter Scribe

      “Implored”? So is it legal to take a gun there or not?

    • cmd resistor

      I don’t get why he even has to go to this.

      • BadKitty904

        To waste more of our tax dollars?

        I have no idea – I can’t imagine he’d enjoy the game, even if he’s cogent enough to follow it, and I assume he’s as hated in Atlanta as he is in every other American city.

        • cmd resistor

          Maybe he thinks he’s insulting the NFL by going to a college game? Maybe he assumes all the fans will be rednecks because Georgia, Alabama?

          • BadKitty904

            Maybe there’s a Turmp property in Atlanta who’s sales are down, so he hopes to pack it with his entourage and toadies…all on the taxpayer’s dime?

          • cmd resistor

            There has to be some nefarious reason. I don’t remember any Trump properties in Atlanta when I lived there but I have been gone for a while and it wouldn’t have been the kind of place I’d pay attention to. Maybe some rich asshole invited him to sit in his private box.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    So despite violating the clear, unambiguous language of the rules about a recount, a court still told Simonds “Sorry, we don’t see any problem with this”?
    The fact she isn’t burning the place to ashes right now is a testament to her restraint.

    • Ninja0980

      The panel was made up of Republican judges so of course they saw nothing wrong with it.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Hey the white right guy won, after all.”

  • ArgieBargie

    Being a Liberal in America today feels like you are that resistance guy in “Pan’s Labyrinth” who gets his face pummeled to death with a wine bottle.

    I was going to post the gif, but it’s too fucking gruesome.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Makes me feel like the Rohirrim about to charge the Orcs at Pelennor Fields.

      Yes, I r a geek.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8yOdAqBFcQ

      • MynameisBlarney

        In other words.
        I’m fuckin pissed and ready to fuckin run roughshod over some fuckin anti-American traitors.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          I think I am due for a LOTR bingewatch. I need to see good win again.

      • puredog

        Gosh, that’s adrenalizing.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I knew it! That’s why I like you.

  • GemlikeFlame

    “We say it’s broccoli, and we say the hell with it.”

    Your E. B. White is showing, Dok.

    • Bitter Scribe

      I say it’s Thurber, and I say it’s spinach.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Gohmert says it’s asparagus

        • puredog

          Well, then, that’s a priori wrong.

      • GemlikeFlame

        You’re not wrong. The phrase, as I blurrily recall, was in common use at the time, but my memory says that that of the several related New Yorker/Thurber cartoons the punchline was Andy White’s.

        And now I have to go look it up.

  • canes_pugnaces

    One more thing: fucking vote so this doesn’t happen. If you don’t vote you’re a fuck wad.

    • kaydenpat

      Amen!!!

    • Jenny

      Now THAT is a bumper sticker.

    • onedollarjuana

      When someone complains about something political I just ask them if they voted last time. If they didn’t, then conversation over.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Me: Wow this Bomb Cyclone is really kicking the shit out of us here.
    Friend: Really? It looks like a regular snowstorm to me.
    Me: Not the storm—Bomb Cyclone is the name of a grain alcohol cocktail I just invented.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Bomb Cyclone was also the name of a very unsuccessful carnival ride.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Well, it worked really well. Once.

        • Bitter Scribe

          It wasn’t so much that the bomb killed everyone, but the cyclone jumbled up and scattered their remains so no one could hold proper funerals.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Just like the rule that all fungi are edible. Some, however, are only edible once.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yup.

    • Shan

      OOoh, what would be in that?!

      • MynameisBlarney

        All the alcohols.

        • Shan

          I know, but should it be white like snow or clear like ice or what?

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        2 shots Everclear, 1 shot Kalhua, 1 shot cocoa, mini marshmallows
        Ha, yeah, I’m full of shit. Just drank a cup of coffee after shoveling off the driveway. Kids are home from school. If only this had happened 20 years ago, I could have given the world . . . THE BOMB CYCLONE.

    • jesterpunk

      Bomb Cyclone is the name of my new county punk band.

    • cmd resistor

      So I was at the dentist this morning and one of those morning TV shows was talking about a new type of cold called a boomerang cold. These cutesy names are getting confusing.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    FWIW, counting on judges to act in good faith and recuse themselves from cases where they should is another of those “norms” conservatives have been ignoring for asymmetric advantage for a while now.

    • jesterpunk

      But if they where democratic judges they would be screaming they should recuse themselves.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Case in point: Bush v. Gore.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      RULES ARE FOR LIBTARDS!

  • Ninja0980

    Brought to you by gerrymandering, got to love it.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    I believe I read that had Yancey lost the draw today, he would have launched a lawsuit to prevent Simonds from being seated.

    • Snowbound Ron

      ‘It’s worked so well for Roy Moore!’

  • SayItWithWookies

    One day I hope to live in a representative democracy. Whether my state makes it first or my country does, I don’t care too much at this point, but one of ’em should lead the fuckin’ way.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Come to California

    • Snowbound Ron

      Try Canadia. Ridings are determined by a non-partisan committee, and at least nominal attempts are being made to keep them of equal population.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
  • WotsAllThisThen

    See? I told you one vote won’t make a difference.

  • Christopher Story
    • Brian Fowler

      But VOTE anyways, if only to give the election riggers as much work to do as possible.

      • Christopher Story

        If you can’t win, at least be an asshole about losing. I like it.

        • Brian Fowler

          It’s not about being an asshole, it’s about not just passively ignoring corruption.
          Or in other words: RESISTING!

    • Ducksworthy

      My second favorite Stalin quote. Still number one it: “If only one man dies of hunger, that is a tragedy. If millions die, that’s only statistics.” Also a modern GOP axiom.

      • Snowbound Ron

        Somewhere, Eisenhower’s ghost weeps.

  • Kip TW

    “If all else fails, just keep obstructing until we can put it up to someone who owes a favor to our guy.”

    Recusal? It’s just not DONE by Republicans, from Clarence Thomas on down.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I remember in 2000 when a bunch of votes were thrown out and Republicans said it’s your fault if you don’t know how to mark the ballot right.

    In any other situation Republicans would have thrown this ballot out.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Well, yeah. But that was because they were ahead and wanted to keep it that way. When they’re behind they’re the champions of “voter intent”.

    • jesterpunk

      Yeah but those voted where Chad’s fault for hanging around.

      • (((Aron)))

        Hanging chad joke! Yes!

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    OT: Oh, God. Donnie’s gonna be insufferable about this isn’t he? Never mind that viewing habits are changing, the product was horribly diluted across too many platforms, and the games themselves were pretty much unwatchable until the last 2 weeks.

    Nielsen: NFL Ratings down 9.7% from 2016.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Couldn’t be that major markets like New York and Chicago have last-place teams, could it? Nah, gotta be the kneeling.

      • theblackdog

        Oh yeah totally the kneeling, it couldn’t also be because we have to listen to the storylines about the Patriots being in the playoffs yet again.

        • If I hear dynasty one more fucking time I am gonna vote a bitch

          • theblackdog

            Fuck Tom Brady.

          • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

            And Belichick too – the media makes him out to be this super-genius when in reality he’s an insufferable asshole. Like this week, reporters were gushing about how, on a bye week, he admonished his players not to be late to practice despite a massive blizzard coming in. “He’s just showing that he’s an old-school coach.”

          • puredog

            Gisele: “Do I hafta?”

          • Snowbound Ron

            ‘Who shot Tom Brady?’
            Oh, wait, that was Dallas. Never mind.

    • aktlib101

      Or, like myself, I stopped watching about 1 year ago, when the concussion/CTE crisis hit. I cannot condone a game in which so much harm is being done. This is not a broken foot, or ligament, this is irreversible damage to the brain.
      In fact, the only times I watched, occasionally, is to admire players who have the courage to kneel while the anthem is played.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I stopped watching it after it was clear that the NFL and football in general don’t give a shit about their players raping and/or beating women.

        • aktlib101

          Oh, yes, forgot about that one also, certainly contributed to my disgust towards the NFL as well, good point.

      • dshwa

        It was the NFL being able to bury their data on CTE that did it for me. Risk benefit has to be known to the participants at all levels, and the NFL got to bury it.

        • aktlib101

          Yep, disgusting coverup. Similar to the cigarette industry. And many others

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I just can’t make a “football move” when I see the Broncos, Texans, or Raiders on TV for the 6th time.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Plus one can only take so much Jim Nantz, Phil Simms, and Cris Collinsworth before you want to hurl a football through the TV.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Amen.

    • OrG

      Has nothing to do with the NFL being boring. Nope. Nothing at all.

      • Snowbound Ron

        I have been known to have sportsball on now and again; I find it a pleasant sort of video wallpaper for reading (Current book, a political and military history of Rome.) Not ONE of the games has been of much interest except the Bills/Colts game played during a snowstorm a month ago.

      • Tovarish Z

        Or the unending commercials.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    The literal, actual second I heard there was a “tie” that was going to be decided this way I knew the fix would be in for the repuke somehow. I think Ms. Simmonds knew it too; that’s why she gave up. There’s only so much fighting you can do when the other guy has a roll of quarters in his glove.

    • onedollarjuana

      Yeah? Well, Al Gore showed that it might have been good to keep fighting.

      • How? He kept fighting and was still shafted?

      • Anne Of Green Bagels

        until the Supreme Court stepped in (it).

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It’s about as obvious and scripted as the WWE

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        And so called”reality TV.”

    • VirginiaHighFiber

      He bought the judge a while back. We do that here a lot.

  • Those of us in VA never expected this result- we expected a few mind you, but it was a friggin wave. And while it would be nice to have a 50 50 tie so that we basically get to write whatever we want there, the Senate would be cock blocking us anyway so no big.
    The BIG thing guys, and this is big, is that they cannot veto Ralph and they will HAVE to work with Dems to get anything done, in both the upper and lower houses.
    That is HUGE.

    • Anne Of Green Bagels

      THIS ^^^

      • Not to mention, ALL the serious people were expecting maybe 5 seats picked up. 6 was considered too lofty a goal and everyone kept saying “You can’t just campaign against Trump!!!” over and over even though not a single Dem ran any ads that I saw that were specifically anti Trump until the dumb orange shitmuffin tweeted in.
        We fucking WOKE this year. We need to keep it up and marginalize these fuckers for decades to come

        • Bobathonic

          We can do it!

          • It was, btw, the ground game that got these results and I am so proud of my VA ditch monkies who worked so hard.
            Fuck those purists who screamed from the sidelines and didn’t help worth a damn. We can do it without you, and proved it.

          • Anne Of Green Bagels

            this times one million ^^^

          • I fully expect a billion better than thou articles about how Dems are lost to Virginia because of this one though XD They won’t be able to help themselves

          • Anne Of Green Bagels

            I’m pretty sure they all have a Word template ready to go.

          • Snicker, after the victory, there were a few mentions on the internets of a million pre-orchestrated Dems are doomed screeds being erased hurriedly at the last minute XD

          • Anne Of Green Bagels

            very serious people. never fails.

          • Ninja0980

            Yup.
            Honestly, the purists are the ones most ticked off by what happened last fall in VA and NJ, even more then Republicans.
            They so wanted Democrats to lose so we would have to start bowing to St.Bernie and his minions such as Konst and Turner without question.
            But we won with no help from them so they now all they can do is pout like the selfish,stupid, spoiled brats they are.

        • Anne Of Green Bagels

          they all but dismissed Virginia as a lost cause for Dems not too long ago. another object lesson in talking heads are full of shit.

        • Blackest Noobs

          this is the result of a party who elected a profess pussy grabber and supported an alleged pedophile in Alabama, sure different state but same fucking political party….and if that’s what they need to do, i.e. cheat and steal elections, well, their days are obviously numbered….paying the piper gonna be a bitch for them ( cuz it’ll be ladies running for their offices and taking it away from them)

          lesson learn in Va and Al and pretty much anywhere else…get the fuck out to VOTE…there are definitely more of us than there are of these shitbags.

    • VirginiaHighFiber

      Thanks for that. I feel a little better now. Still kinda stabby, but improving.

    • Ninja0980

      Nice to give us some light at the end of this tunnel.

    • Sunhead

      they will HAVE to work with Dems to get anything done

      Umm, the Obama years imply that they are completely happy with not doing their jobs and just fighting with each other, but I do appreciate you still have hope.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Government by theft…

  • Sunhead

    Under no reasonable circumstances does that vote count as anything but SPOILED.
    Congratulations judges, you have just ensured that your names will go down in history for one thing… stealing an election in Virginia. I hope you are proud of that.
    JAMES B. ALCORN, CLARA BELLE WHEELER, SINGLETON B. MCALLISTER.
    https://web.archive.org/web/20171218005843/https://www.elections.virginia.gov/board/board-members/index.html

    • Better. Now we have a precedent :) Expect a LOT more recounts in the future.
      So many recounts.

      • Bobathonic

        Gots to recount until the right answer comes up.

        • No I meant all the usual fuckery they throw ballots out for now comes into play ^.^
          Trust me, the dipshits just shot themselves in the foot with this stunt

    • OrG

      How does “reasonable” fit in with ANYTHING rethugs do?

  • OrG

    Lying. Cheating. Stealing.
    It’s all they have.

    • Snowbound Ron

      Remember when they pretended to have policy, too? Good times.

      • Don’t worry. They will pretend they have it again the minute a Dem is in charge

        • Lord Jim

          Why bother? Bitch McTurtle’s strategy of “just say no” has proven so successful there is no need or advantage to a pretense of having principled policies.

    • phoenix00
    • BreakingDeadMen

      Their time is gonna come

  • Marceline

    When is the next election in Virginia? We’ll wipe them out then.

  • Blackest Noobs

    i was wondering if all the judges were Republicans, and obviously i should have known better, of course they were all Republican, the ballot was invalid. NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.

    Republicans keep playing these stupid fucking games but you watch and see, cuz, the Reaper is coming for them.

  • Snowbound Ron

    Fuck being nice, Ms. Simonds. This is flagrantly illegal. Hell, this is the Virginia GOP saying, ‘We’re going to break the law now. Try to stop us’ where everyone can see.

  • VirginiaHighFiber

    Virginia rat fuckery is the bestest rat fuckery! And those are some damn big rat fuckers right there.

    • teapartyidiots

      NC is worse.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I hate to sound a contrary note here, but if you look at the whole ballot, every other candidate voted for was marked ‘R’. Plus, the crossing out stopped after the first one, and only re-emerged on Simonds/Yancey, which suggests that the first one was a mistake (i.e. the bubble was crossed out at first, then filled in), and the second time was marked only because Simonds was the mistake. So I can see the judges’ reasoning.

    Y’all know me, folks – I’d rather stick my head in a bucket of eels than see *any* GOP member get elected – but that is kinda how I see this one. Maybe I’m missing something?

    • Blackest Noobs

      it’s bullshit, you can make all the reason to say, oh well he/she intended to vote R, doesn’t matter, judges cannot assume intention, well, ethical ones, the ballot was simply invalid.

      selecting both names makes it invalid regardless of the voter’s other selections.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Wait, I thought that’s what happened! I thought Simonds had won by one vote, and when this one was discounted, that made it a tie.

        • Blackest Noobs

          and they played dirty pool, the questionable ballot should have been brought up during the recount, not after the fact.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Oh. Well, I suppose that’s true enough.

    • Lord Jim

      The lengths to which one has to go to ascertain the voters intent from this doodle pad is an excellent argument for disqualifying it.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I thought it was disqualified; that the removal of this vote was what made it a tie. Am I wrong about that?

        • Lord Jim

          The article text gave me the impression that judges decided to keep it:

          Unfortunately, after that recount, and because the Democrat Simonds had won, the Republicans challenged to have this one contested ballot included, and the three Republican election judges said, sure, looks like that there’s a vote for Republican David Yancey, the incumbent.

          I may be confused.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            I don’t think you are – I think I was.

          • Lord Jim

            These are confusing times and the existential miasma permeating the atmosphere makes it even harder to think. Stay strong! 😁

        • puredog

          You are. This ballot had been tossed out vis a vis the Simonds-Yancey contest, but upon reconsideration was counted for Yancey, wiping out Simonds’s one-vote win and leading to today’s circus.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Ah. I had it precisely backwards. Apologies.

    • (((Aron)))
    • And if they pulled Simonds’ name out of the bowl – would we still be having this argument?

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Keep it up Republicans. Keep bending the rules beyond their breaking point.

    You’ve never dealt in good faith. Which means all the more that the rules that keep chaos at bay won’t hold, precisely when you need them most.

    But sure, the camel’s back totally remains super strong! Pfft, it’s just one more straw, right?

  • Tovarish Z

    Why the hell not ask for the second recount?

    • teapartyidiots

      Because she knows it’s probably pointless. The fix is in.

  • puredog

    “Ms. Simonds said in advance that she
    “would not request a second recount if she lost the drawing. Yancey
    declined to make the same pledge.”
    While Ms. Simonds’s stance is theoretically admirable, it’s “they go low, we go high” theme is something Dems need to ponder a little more.

    • Lefty Wright

      Exactly. We are where that has gotten the Democrats in the last eight years. We do not need to stoop to the Project Veritas level, but you do not play nice in a war, especially when the other side is using Project Veritas and a hostile enemy country for assistance.

      • thud

        8 years? I count 16.

  • King Beauregard

    This single vote is frustrating as fuck.

    But let’s hold those people accountable on “our side” who didn’t cast one. That’s where the REAL problem lies: people on the Left don’t vote consistently.

    Bernie’s faithful think we ought to give them the keys to the Democratic Party; well maybe they’ll deserve it if they ever learn to vote consistently. As it is, Bernie’s support base spent 2016 telling one another not to vote for Hillary, and come the general election, 12% of them went as far as voting for Trump.

    I think about those Bernie-to-Trump voters. And I think about the dismal turnout in 2010 and 2014. Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      The non-voters. The sleeping giant. That’s the biggest issue of all.

      • Lefty Wright

        And the Bernie Bros played that up. They attacked Clinton straight through election day, making it easier for the lazy voters to say they are all the same, why bother. One thing that really annoyed me was statements from obviously intelligent people encouraging that attitude. Noam Chomsky, as a linguist, knows the power of words. For him to say you needed to hold your nose to vote for Clinton was appalling. He skirted around the claim, saying you should vote for Clinton if you were in a competitive state, but how many people in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin really kept up with polls? And he never did disavow the Hold Your Nose statement.

        • Petunia Cat

          Chomsky is horrible. He’s like a Glenn Greenwald waiting to happen.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            Actually, you have it backwards, Greenwald has always been a Chomsky wannabe. As far as Chomsky’s stance on Clinton, I was actually impressed that he was telling people to vote for her at all.

          • His monotonous speeches always put me to sleep…

            Fortunately, I only listen to him while driving.
            https://i.imgur.com/tJrbRkD.gif

        • hillarysleftone

          fucking Chomsky! Made Clinton spend the 72 hours before the election in Arizona and North Carolina instead of Michigan PA and Wisconsin. Told people to vote for her, but without a Lefty Wright approved level of enthusiasm. What a motherfucker he is, how can he sleep at night?

  • OutOfOrbit

    this was foreseen

    –by me

  • miss_grundy

    Cheaters gotta cheat. What else would you expect from these assholes?

  • jesuswasablack

    So has tRump taken credit for the R’s holding control of the Virginia legislature yet?
    https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/5966abae1a00003900dbe7df.jpg?ops=scalefit_820_noupscale

    • BadKitty904

      The sun rose this morning. All because of Turmp!

    • 3FingerPete

      Wait for tomorrow morning’s twitter storm. Next he’ll focus on beating Kim Jong Il’s all-time high golf score.

  • Me not sure

    Democratic candidates got 9% more votes in total than Republican candidates did, and a game of chance gives control to the Republicans . Democracy inaction.

  • pgjack

    Getting their heads so far up their asses requires a great deal of flexibility on the part of republicans.

  • Spurning Beer

    Is it wrong of me to want to punish Virginia Republicans for this?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Only for this? Cause there are plenty of reasons to want to punish Virginia Republicans in addition to this.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I don’t think picking a name out of a bowl constitutes “the will of the people.” Isn’t that more like gambling? Gambling is defined in Virginia law as “betting on the outcome of any games or contests that depend on chance.” I am quite sure some people were betting on the outcome of this name-picking, so my question is, did they have a gambling license?

  • phoenix00

    That’s a spoiled ballot where I’m from/at. And is tossed in the garbahge where it belongs.
    (All you Hoser voters out there: you are allowed to ask for a second ballot if you change your mind.)

    Also: why even have votes if you’re gonna pull this kind of election ratfucking? What even is the point?

    • thud

      Even Stalin had elections. The point is they confer a veneer of legitimacy and are essential so the folks don’t start getting ideas.

      • phoenix00

        It’s so the ones in power can claim “will of the people” but disavows them from having to respect said will of the people.

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    “…in an indication of Republican respect for fair play for all, The Hill notes that while Virginia law allows the loser of a tie-election draw to request one more recount, Ms. Simonds said in advance that she “would not request a second recount if she lost the drawing. Yancey declined to make the same pledge”

    yes…same old dems…give me such great hopes for nov 2018 🙄

    if we want majorities, we have to act like it and fight for them, because THEY always do…we had to know that when ms simonds won by 1vote that it was time to send jimmy carter to VA, because the thugs would find a way to ratfuck the dems out of this seat in the VA house…and they did…and the dems let them get away with it as always…this shit is beyond old

  • OK, I mentioned it below, but I think it needs stating again.

    If they pulled Simonds name out of the bowl, would we still be having this argument? Be honest with yourself, now……

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      point?

      • My point is that if the Democrat won the drawing, I really don’t think we’d be griping about the flawed process whereby Virginia handles very close elections (and seriously, how often has ANY election come down to a single vote?). We’d all be jumping for joy over how the GOP can’t ram its hateful agenda down the throats of that state’s residents. To believe otherwise is dishonest.

        And I’ll wager you know that.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          i am fully aware of how flawed VA’s process is…and i’d wager you and all our fellow wonketeers are too..and that it should never have gotten to the ‘name out of a hat’ stage

        • hillarysleftone

          but the point is, it wasn’t a tie after proper procedures were followed. She had won. Only after some special pleading did one (out of ALL the disallowed ballots) vote get reconsidered. What if there were other ones, disallowed under the same standard, which might have been interpreted (under the standard the JUDGE, as opposed to the election commissioners, used) as Symonds votes? The discrepancy isn’t the drawing of lots, it was the re-examination of just one of the disallowed ballots.

          • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

            thank you

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      imean…you do understand that ms simonds was in-broad-daylight criminally ratfucked out of the seat by a spoiled ballot, brought back into play AFTER the recount (illegal), and that it would only be justice if her name had been pulled out the hat and what would be the point of arguing that anyway?

    • No, the question to ask is if this had been the ballot that won Simonds a seat, would we be having this argument. If she had been down a vote and this was the one that made it a tie or broke a tie.

      If Simonds name had come out of the bowl, it would have been irrelevant, because she actually won and the tossup thing was nonsense.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      If Simonds had been drawn, Yancey would have asked for a recount to delay seating a 50-50 House in order to allow Kirk Cox to be elected Speaker (50 votes to 49) while the 94th was being sorted out.

  • Keith Taylor

    And yet Republicans seem to be very good at tossing out ballots as “spoiled” that in fact look properly marked but also come from areas that tend to vote Democrat.
    Or “Demoncrat” as some of them like to put it in their deeply religious way.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I’m just glad that horrible neoliberal Hillary won’t be allowed to appoint any judges.

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      yeah, me too…and i wish i could still laugh at a line like this

    • Comparing Hillary to Reagan and Thatcher?

      Gag.

      Reagan was the first American politician to support NAFTA and “free trade”.

      But even old Holes in the Brain was smart enough to understand that free trade included the use of tariffs to protect American jobs and industry against foreign competition.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Please do not put up header pics of men killing zombies. I find it offensive.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Doktor Zoom,

    Technically this wasn’t stealing. It was a legal maneuver

  • Enter Ranting

    If Republicans didn’t lie, cheat and pander shamelessly to Evangelical hypocrites, they wouldn’t win elections.

  • JDM

    Dems, stop making those “I won’t fight” pledges. Please stop.

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