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Respect my AUTHORITAH!

When everyone is saying that you’re an unhinged narcissist slipping ever further into the throes of dementia, the best way to prove them wrong is by losing your shit and telling your lawyers to fire off a letter telling people to stop saying that you’re an unhinged narcissist slipping ever further into the throes of dementia. Obviously, the president is a master strategist, in full control of his mental faculties! Right, Mooch?

That’s why Trump got his attorneys to fire off cease-and-desist letters yesterday to the publisher of Michael Wolff’s upcoming book about Donald Trump and to Steve Bannon, the book’s most quotable source.

Really, if there’s one thing the president is making great again, it is legal Twitter.

Charles Harder, the infamous lawyer who took money from Peter Thiel to bankrupt Gawker, is threatening to sue Wolff’s publisher Henry Holt & Co. for defamation and libel if they don’t pull the book before its release next week. They’re not pointing to any particular false statement, but they’re sure that Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House (use that link and yr Wonkette gets a cut) is just chock-full-o’-LIES, and must be pulped immediately. They also charge that Wolff induced Bannon to breach his non-disclosure agreement with the presidential campaign. Plus another 12 pages of gobbledygook. Which we could lawsplain, but really WHO CARES? In no universe will Trump ever file any such lawsuit.

Truth being an absolute defense to defamation, Bannon and Wolff’s lawyers would get to depose the president and his staff and ask them fun questions like, “Ivanka, did you or did you not say that the president, your father, has a big, old bald spot in the middle of his head and swirls a giant poof of Just For Men Impatient Orange colored hair up to hide it?”

Never going to happen! Besides which, LORDY, THAT WOLFF GUY HAS TAPES!

Trump and the brain trust would also like Bannon to quit speaking to Michael Wolff and being his source for a book which is already printed, shipped to booksellers, and in the hands of every reporter in DC. Which … LOL! And they will be suing him “imminently” for all his Ameros because he breached his NDA by criticizing the Trump family.

Bannon is barred for all eternity from saying mean things about Don Jr. And Deej suffered grievous reputational harm, since no one ever suggested before yesterday that he is a treasonous little shitweasel. Well, maybe once or twice. But good luck with that!

Anyway, we expect that lawsuit to be filed sometime in the next two weeks. Definitely by the 5th of NEVER. They’re kind of busy right now suing all those other people Trump threatened, but they’ll get to it soon.

Yeah, we’ll be sitting here holding our breath waiting!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Click here to fund all these lawsplainers those Trump wingnuts make us write!

[Cease and Desist Letter, Holt / ABC / WaPo / WaPo, again]

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  • Scooby

    They might just as well sent a letter from a Nigerian Prince.

    • BosGrl

      Hm, maybe Trump Org is the real Nigerian prince!

  • TigerTron
    • Crack_A_Toe_Ah

      ew, just ew

    • MynameisBlarney

      Any time a fuckin repub tries to bring up the Clinton/Lewinski bullshit, I will slam their stupid faces into a hard copy of that article.

    • Daniel

      His behaviour is disgusting, but also pathetic.

      The trick he used to get them to sleep with him was to make them want to revenge themselves on their husbands. He didn’t charm them, he didn’t get to know them and romance them, he didn’t appear like some great adventurous lover they fell for. He didn’t even just drunkenly hook up with them.

      He tried to make their husbands hurt them enough they’d consent to sex with him out of anger and a need for revenge.

      There is so much self-loathing in this.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        “Cme on, baby. You can’t get much lower than me.”

    • capnkrunch

      Trump has buddies?

  • Indiepalin

    Can I sue Lou Dobbs just to fuck with his head?

    • BosGrl

      Not much there to fuck with, tho.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    ot and oh ffs:

    Justice Department caves to Trump pressure and reopens investigation into Clinton’s emails

    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/justice-department-caves-to-trump-pressure-and-reopens-investigation-into-clintons-emails/

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “Officials’ questions include how much classified information was sent over Clinton’s server; who put that information into an unclassified environment, and how; and which investigators knew about these matters and when. The Sessions ally also said officials have questions about immunity agreements that Clinton aides may have made,” wrote Woodruff.

      • BosGrl

        O.o

        Where’s the money for CHIP? I guess this is more important.

      • Roadstergal

        Good timing, I need some new recipes.

    • Roadstergal

      When does she get to sue Nunes, Bannon, Trump, Turtle, Mr P90x, Felon D’Souza, et al for libel?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR? I keep waiting for “no-fucks-left-to-give Hillary.”

    • Crystalclear12

      Finally! This is exactly what we need to impeach her!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Non-term president libezz!

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        What will this do to her popularity? Get Cilizza on this stat!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      What’s it take, a silver bullet?

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Stake in little dobby sessions heart?

    • Major^3 Andre

      I want that job. Billable hours out the ass, and do all kinds of “research” on the twittererers, wonkette, pornhub, wonkette, pornhub again, and the bottom of many bottles of beer, then resubmit old progress reports with revised dates.

  • FlemmishSpy

    “Gonna Streisand the hell out of this book!”

  • New and Improved Say Wha
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c1de71228673716d53341582f1a4f5a68056352140d903841955efa4a4bd18fa.jpg OT: Geocolor Image From NOAA’s GOES-16 Satellite of Powerful East Coast Storm
    This Geocolor image from NOAA’s GOES-16 satellite captures the deepening storm off the East coast of the United States on Jan. 4, 2018, at 16:22 UTC. The powerful nor’easter is battering coastal areas with heavy snow and strong winds, from Florida to Maine.

    • BosGrl
      • Major^3 Andre

        It’s just now starting to stick here on the cape. About to head home early from work. Stay safe and warm.

        • BosGrl

          You too! Check in when you’re home!

          • Major^3 Andre

            Just got home, thanks. A little sketchy on 28, but got behind a plow and smooth sailing after that.

          • BosGrl

            I’m glad you survived. I hate driving behind the plows.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        I can usually see the Mass Pike from my house (about .3 miles. I can’t and haven’t been able to for a couple of hours. The quiet is nice, though.

        • BosGrl

          It is nice. I’m from Winthrop and when the airport was closed I would revel in the quiet.

      • Eileen Besse

        Twenty-nine here in Altoona, FL, this morning sounds GOOD in comparison….

        • BosGrl

          Oh no! I mean, I’m used to this. 29 is too low for Florida :(.

          • Eileen Besse

            Lived in Medfid and Western Mass hills from the ’50s ’til 2005. “Surviving” the heat/hurricanes down here is easier than the six-month winter “up home.” I salute you.

          • BosGrl

            Oh, Medfid – paesan! I’m not too sick of winter… yet :D.

          • Eileen Besse

            Fuckin’ AAYY!!!! Me, grew up ALL Irish in Irish-Italian neighborhoods, lots of good memories! Paisan, you?

          • BosGrl

            Yup. Italian in Winthrop and Eastie.

          • Eileen Besse

            GOOD friends on Maverick Street in East Boston (“EastaBosta”) and in the North End (esp Prince Street). My Irish cousins’ family lived in Winthrop since 1950, also too.

          • BosGrl

            Can’t now afford to live in either place. Priced out :(

          • Eileen Besse

            Yeah, even rural properties in Western Mass are going bonkers these days. My sister and her partner have a condo in Jamaica Plain, and that’s with BOTH of their professional jobs!

    • Roadstergal

      Well, that’s terrifying. Good thing I’m safe on the West Coast.

      …were I was woken up last night by a magnitude 4.4 in nearby Berkeley.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Way up here in extreme NW corner, I still have snow on the ground from almost 3 weeks ago. That’s up in Caveman’s Hollow, only 1000 ft elevation. Just hasn’t gotten warm enough to melt it all.

    • OrG

      Looks like a hurricane.

  • memzilla Ω

    Dear Dolt 45:

    Please let me know when you file this lawsuit. Call me. Ask for Blue Boy… ’cause I’ll be holding my breath.

    With sincere detestation,
    m

  • ManchuCandidate
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Demented cartoon grandpa libelz!

  • SweetDeeKat

    That’s a fucking form letter. And I’ll bet it cost Cheeto or whatever dark troglodytes that foot the bill TENS OF THOUSANDS of dollars.

    Huh. I just cheered myself up

    • OutOfOrbit

      dollars they’ll never see

      • SweetDeeKat

        ooooh, even better!

      • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

        I can’t believe these assholes still don’t use the first rule of whoring: Get the money up front!

    • P’jama Pahnts

      So you’re saying T’s lawyers have access to LegalZoom?

      • SweetDeeKat

        LegalZoom is more readable.

  • schmannity

    Maybe Trump can lead a hurt fee fees class. Manafort’s in.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Stone is the show n tell.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • memzilla Ω
    • ManchuCandidate

      At least he can fall back on entertaining rubes by sucking his own dick.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Does that mean that Deadfart will have to live on ad revenue and donation?

      Really!?!?!?!

      Good luck with that. Let me know how it turns out.

    • therblig

      wow, when your fellow fucking weirdos desert you, where do you turn – all those alt-right incels with tons of disposable income?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Aw…

      Trouble in paradise, Bannon Harkkkonen?

    • Gigglesnort

      But rumor is he is now best buds with a Chinese billionaire, which is very ironic, given how much he and Trump have dumped on the whole idea of “globalism.”

    • MynameisBlarney

      Is it just me, or does Rebekah Mercer look like a Klingon trying to pass as human?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        She’s doing a mighty bad job, if so.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        It’s not you.

  • Poly_Ester

    donnie in a week or two, “Jared Kushner, I don’t know him, never met him. I think he might be a friend of my daughter, whats-her-name?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Is it even legal for a public servant–I almost choked applying that term to Bannon–to enter into a non-disclosure agreement with an individual who he reports to?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      No.

      • BosGrl

        Bannon probably knew that when he signed it.

    • WeaselPoo

      Is it even legal to (insert anything Trump does).

      • Spurning Beer

        “If the President does it….”

        • WotsAllThisThen

          …then Republicans will look the other way.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      You mean because of public record?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Nuh uh. Public interest outweighs it, because we is some nosy motherfuckers.

      As per usual, it’s government being run like a business in action, in that the rules for business don’t apply to governmental processes in the slightest.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Lucky for us, Republicans spent the past 8 years building up a shit ton of case law regarding FOIA against the executive branch.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I think the NDA referred to the campaign.

    • cmd resistor

      How anyone could sign one, knowing Trump and the 100% chance he would give you good reason to disparage him., I don’t know.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Well, Bannon does drink a lot, so?

  • schmannity

    This threatened lawsuit is bullshit.

    –Roy Cohn, briefly interrupting his eternal satanic blowjob.

  • Belasaurius

    goddamn, Christmas came early this year

    • (((Sedagive)))

      We’ll have to fight harder next time.

  • Spurning Beer

    Since Donald is a public figure, he cannot sue for libel/slander, right? Even apart from issues of truth, intent, etc.

    So there is no problem with reporting that Donald J. Trump is the biggest consumer of cocaine and quaaludes in DC, that he is fully dependent on adult diapers, and that he openly masturbates when Fox & Friends is on, with that babe with the great legs in the middle.

  • Michael R
    • BMW

      I needed this.

  • bbayliss

    “Bannon has in recent weeks also alienated his main financial backer, Rebekah Mercer, after he told several other major conservative donors that he would be able to count on the Mercers’ financial support should he run for president, a person familiar with the conversations said. The person said Mercer now does not plan to financially support Bannon’s future projects — and that she was frustrated by his moves in Alabama and some of his comments in the news media that seemed to stoke unnecessary fights.”
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-slams-bannon-when-he-was-fired-he-not-only-lost-his-job-he-lost-his-mind/2018/01/03/21fb158a-f0aa-11e7-b3bf-ab90a706e175_story.html?utm_term=.bf9a02030aa0

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Dammit, Bannon. You’re supposed to sit quietly in the getaway car while we clean out the bank! Stop attracting attention!

      • bbayliss

        This:
        “Trump donor Rebekah Mercer in August 2016 asked the chief executive of a data-analytics firm working for Donald Trump’s presidential campaign whether the company could better organize the Hillary Clinton-related emails being released by WikiLeaks, according to a person familiar with their email exchange.”
        https://www.wsj.com/articles/trump-donor-asked-data-firm-if-it-could-better-organize-hacked-emails-1509133587?mg=prod/accounts-wsj

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Conspiracy is a crime. Perhaps a Mercer or two in Leavenworth is in our future. Your call, Mr. Mueller.

          • MynameisBlarney

            If they could be placed in the same wing as the Koch’s, well…that would be nice.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            From your lips…

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Trump for President, Inc.

    What an appropriate name.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Is this like Trump University Law School for Dummies Who Don’t Do Law Good?

    • ManchuCandidate

      Aka Liberty U.

    • schmannity

      Trump University Laws School was a stretch school.

      • GlazedHaim

        TTTrump ULS

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • schmannity

      He was Editor in Chief of the school’s law tabloid–none of that fancy law review stuff

    • bbayliss

      According to “the book” 9 law firms turned trump down when he sought representation.

    • cmd resistor

      I usually sneeringly refer to wingnut bro’s degree from the Pic-N-Save School of Law when he gives me legal advice.

  • Paperless Tiger

    … an unhinged narcissist slipping ever further into the throes of dementia.

    He managed to keep that hidden during the election campaign, but only from idiots. It was a targeted strategy. Brilliant!

  • OrG

    Hey, I talk shit about tRump too. Sue me, motherfucker.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Can Trump sue himself for publicly demeaning himself?

    • New and Improved Say Wha

      Yeah, but he’ll never be able to collect the judgment.

    • BearGHAZI

      The day is young

  • Victoria Ricola

    At least I’m learning all sorts of new law stuff from the best (and most hilarious) in the country, so I guess thanks Donald? Making self-education on twitter great again?

    • Michael R

      Well , it’s no Trump University .

  • WotsAllThisThen

    The best part is how everyone let Wolff just sort of hang out for a year and a half because nobody could figure out what Trump wanted.

  • proudgrampa

    Someone hold my beer while I try to stop laughing.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh, by all means, TELL US MORE, Mooch:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DF53UFbXYAAM6BL.jpg

    • GlazedHaim

      This is relevant since he does look kind of like a thumb.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Pro tip: Spray tan your hands too, dipshit.

  • Wuulf

    DOTUS says that last night Bannon called him a great man. Many people are saying that Bannon got the color wrong and that he actually called DJT a “grape man”. … https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1fa74e34230142f1cd2f07bb6751fa64f8ef114fdd01bc798e92d0230511c143.jpg

  • jesterpunk

    Trump will sue just as soon as he finishes his lawsuit against the New York Times he was going to file last year.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Don’t forget all the women that accused him of being a sexmonster.

  • Major^3 Andre

    Next, he is gonna sue the mirror for telling him that he is a completely unfuckable yutz.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Best circular firing squad ever.

    • Major^3 Andre

      It sure does make my bathing suit area all tingly.

      • MynameisBlarney

        My no-no place feels funny now that you mention it.

  • Simple question…Has idiot Trump ever won a lawsuit? Ever?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Define “win”.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        According to Trump, a “win” means Trump avoided admitting any wrongdoing in court.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Oh, then he’s won a few.

    • I the one where he sued Maher over Maher stating Twitler’s daddy was an orangutan got tossed

      • (((Sedagive)))

        My personal favorite.

        I love that Maher brings that up on his show all the time.

    • WeaselPoo

      No…but I think he won the suits he wears.

      • Daniel

        Though interestingly he never had a trump suit at any of the casinos he owned.

      • msanthropesmr

        Must have been a booby-prize.

    • New and Improved Say Wha

      Do six corporate bankruptcies count as “wins”? Then, yes.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      As a defendant, sure. But only if you count “win” as “stonewall, threaten, and outspend the plaintiff until they can’t afford to go after you anymore.”

  • Crystalclear12

    Am I the only one surprised that the Democrats lost the circular firing squad contest?
    I really thought we were a shoo-in.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Meanwhile, the two douches it took to replace Cillizza at The Fix humorously fail to pwn the utterly ridiculous Michael Wolff.

    In another anecdote, billionaire Robert Mercer — a former Ted Cruz backer and Breitbart investor — offers Trump’s campaign $5 million, and Trump is clueless as to why Mercer would invest in him. “This thing,” Trump reportedly told Mercer of his campaign, “is so f—ed up.”

    But Mercer couldn’t give $5 million to Trump’s campaign — not legally, anyway. He spent his money on Trump through a super PAC, which is independent of the Trump campaign and is subject to plenty of rules preventing coordination between the two.

    Is it possible this was shorthand — or even that Mercer represented the money as a campaign contribution rather than super PAC spending? Again, sure. But it seems a weird thing not to address in the text.

    tl;dr: No collusion. Michael Wolff is the collusion.

    • jesterpunk
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      So Trump met Boehner once and then mentioned him (in speeches written presumably by others), and then didn’t remember him later, and that’s implausible? I forget people all the time, and Trump is a 70-year old man who would be at risk of dementia even if he wasn’t a complete ADD basket case.

      I just like the irony of expecting complete and total veracity of all claims being made about a man who lies as easily as he breathes.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        or he’s making the point that the guy Newt has hated violently for thirty years who pals around with Obama and who trashed him both before and after the election wasn’t a candidate for the job?

    • BMW

      TIL that Trump may have violated campaign finance laws. I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

  • JaveyDay

    Remember, Remember, the Fifth of No Never

  • bluicebank

    Isn’t this grounds for immediate disbarment?

    Trump, of course, is within his rights to be a goddamned idiot. But don’t his attorneys have some sort of guidelines, if not the full pirate’s code of conduct, to abideth by?

    Also, way to jack up sales of the book, morons. I’m going to have to buy it now, and I was saving that money up for a few bottles of Thunderbird wine to get myself drunk on.

    • MynameisBlarney

      For real, I picked a bad time to stop drinkin’.

      • OrG

        I’ve heard there’s take-backsies on that.

      • Jay Hansen

        Yeah, me too. It’s sad when the founder of Alcoholics Unanimous (me) is drier than the Mojave Desert, but there we are.

        • Rooster Cogburn105

          What’s the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk Dad?

          “Alcoholics go to meetings, drunks go to bars”.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Yes. Yes you did.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Nah. They’d have to do more than just say the book is full of lies without specificity or any backing facts. That’s just gonna get the case thrown out. They would have to invent the book out of whole cloth, and sue someone who had nothing to do with anything, with the express purpose of improving the president’s reputation, without regard for the consequences to the private individual defendant, before any ethics board even starts sniffing around.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      If filing frivolous lawsuits was grounds for immediate disbarment, there wouldn’t be many lawyers left in the US.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Discovery isn’t just a river in Egypt.

    • LesBontemps

      Not a river, but maybe a channel?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Being one of Assmouth’s lawyers must be the easiest gig in the world — you just write boilerplate bullshit letters threatening lawsuits and never have to prepare material or go to trial. If this Harder guy isn’t in a lawn chair somewhere sunny and warm, he’s a damn idiot.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    OT, Trump just announced we’re drilling for oil in all our waters. Because fuck those coastal communities.

    • weejee

      And Sessions is arresting everyone who lives in California, Colorado, Oregon, Washington et al because of dope. Or is it dopes?

    • La forza del resistino

      the board room at BP just enjoyed a collective ‘full release’.

    • cmd resistor

      Wow, even Voldemort came out against this. He’s sort of pretending to be environmental in case he runs for senate.

  • Crystalclear12

    So we are at the part of caper when the vipers turn on each other?
    Pfft, amateurs, Nixon held out longer.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Trump can’t even follow the first rule of being an animal, which is don’t shit where you eat. Never before has such a complete and utter failure risen to such a terrifyingly powerful position. At least Czar Alexander II sort of knew he was a moron.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I suppose we’re lucky that he doesn’t have the power Kim Jong-Un has to execute anyone in his inner circle whom he doesn’t like for whatever reason, like that guy who upset him by falling asleep during a meeting, otherwise the bodies would be piling up in the Rose Garden.

      • Rooster Cogburn105

        And he didn’t have much of a choice, being born into the position. ”
        “In Russia, Tyranny chooses you!”
        Ending sentence in every Russian History book chapter ever:

        “And then it got worse”.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Nixon didn’t have a Fox News

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      no 18 minute gap in the pee tape

      • therblig

        the bladder size, they must have been on one of the russian women’s olympic teams.

    • sosuume

      An insult to vipers. A bag of rats, maybe?

      • Snowbound Ron

        Why do people keep comparing these wastes of oxygen to such intelligent, personable critters?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Nixon wasn’t feeble minded. An asshole, sure.

  • BMW

    I would be interested in seeing how a non-disclosure agreement for a political campaign could be applied to stuff that happened after the campaign was over, and while Steve Bannon was an executive branch employee.

    Also, writing the phrase “…Steve Bannon was an executive branch employee” in the above sentence made me stop typing for a minute and question reality.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I imagine it would be applied like this…

      “Your honor, we would like to introduce—”
      “Denied.”

      • Roadstergal

        No wonder Trump is so busy stacking the courts with idiot judges…

  • sosuume
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Much as he’s tried to make it right, every time I see him I can’t help but want to take a bat of votes to that guy for opening his fucking mouth in October 2016. This is all his fault. All of it.

      • sosuume

        He may have been put in a bind by Giuliani’s goon squad in the FBI — time will tell. I truly hope that’s what it was.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          he still chose poorly

          • sosuume

            Yes. But I’m hoping it’s just because he’s human.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I don’t think he’s one of the bad guys- just an ambitious guy who made bad decisions for his own self interest

          • Roadstergal

            To me, that makes him a bad guy. :p

      • BadKitty904

        Agreed.

      • sarafina

        I don’t think it’s ALL his fault, people did vote. But I’ll give him 93+% credit.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    “Definitely by the 5th”

    But it’s not even noon yet. I’m not some common Peggy Noonan.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Manuel is having trouble getting to the liquor store thanks to the bomb cyclone

      • CindyinEncinitas

        She might have to break into the fire water she found in his truck that one time.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Villago Delenda Est

    It’s like the Keystone Cops of the legal profession all got hired by Donald.

    • jesterpunk

      What do you expect when you will only hire people dumber then you are?

      • weejee

        And you’re dumber than a sack of bricks to start.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Talk about discovery.

    • bbayliss

      According to Wolff , nine law firms turned trump down.

  • La forza del resistino

    the saying ‘there is no such thing as bad publicity’ is Donald’s mantra.

    • Snowbound Ron

      And like every other thing he believes, it’s wrong.

  • weejee

    And Deej suffered grievous reputational harm…

    And Uday suffered grievous reputational harm…

    / fixed

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You can’t harm something that is in negative numbers already.

  • Mike Minden

    Please sue somebody Trumpy. A pathological liar being deposed under oath will make for great theatre. Given all the grief you have put us through, you owe us that much!

    • sarafina

      I think many people have sued The Dotard. I know women have, and I believe a case was recently started – iirc a defamation suit because the shitgibbon trash-talked a woman accusing him of abuse. The court system can be opaque for people who don’t work with it often.

  • Old town Urbandale

    Those “included, but not limited to” clauses have to be an admission that Trump has one or more illegitimate children. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      And they indicate adult children of color in Chicago.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Ah yes, the bigot who secretly hate-fucks woc. Jesse Helm disease.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Bannon’s lawyer in cross: “so you thought that Steve was so untrustworthy and lacking in credibility that you appointed him to the NSC, do I have that about right?”

    • Roadstergal

      “Hey, Steve bullied me into letting him on because of some Joo named Oltz Heimer. It wasn’t my fault!”

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    No disparagement! No disparagement! You’re the disparagement!

    dumbass.

  • Michael R
    • msanthropesmr

      That poor woman.

      • Michael R

        Qualifications : smile through ANYTHING

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Miss Nomer should win just for being able to smile through that.

      • LesBontemps

        Where are Miss Calculation, Miss Appellation and Miss Statement?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          They missed the cut?

    • Her left thumb is specifically there to keep his fingers from creeping any further around her side.

  • MynameisBlarney

    While we’re ridiculing him and his lawyers…

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10141953025

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      “But the plan faces a wave of bipartisan state opposition, led in part by Republican Gov. Larry Hogan of Maryland, who has said: “I’m not in favor of offshore drilling.” A catastrophe on the scale of the Deepwater Horizon explosion and oil leak in 2010 would be disastrous for one of the state’s most precious resources, the Chesapeake Bay watershed.”

      Yeah, but all the states that would be affected are Democratic states, so fuck you.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Walk the walk, Hogan.

      • Raan

        Except for Florida, which is schizophrenic.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Even Gov. Voldemort here in Fl. seems to not be in favor of this.
        Not the gives a fuck about the environment, only that it would affect tourist cash flow.

        • Raan

          Thank God he’s out this November.

          • MynameisBlarney

            He’s runnin for senate though.
            We may not have seen the last of that Bat Boy lookin mother fucker.

          • Raan

            I might be inclined to agree, if not for two things. We’re pissed, and when we get pissed we will vote out of spite; and he endorsed Trump during the primaries.

          • Leave it to Florida to elect an actual supervillain for governor.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Come on Puerto Ricans, welcome to Florida.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Trump Moves to Vastly Expand Offshore Drilling
    https://www.apnews.com/97e57e5f0f7045909757e87b452fd2a5/Trump-moves-to-vastly-expand-offshore-drilling

    Sources say the Trump administration is moving to vastly expand offshore drilling from the Atlantic to the Arctic oceans, including opening up federal waters off the coast of California for the first time in more than three decades.

    The new five-year drilling plan could also open new areas of oil and gas exploration off the East Coast in places from Georgia to Maine, where drilling has been blocked for decades.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Alas, poor Chesapeake Bay.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Yeah, but a fast buck.

        • BadKitty904

          GOP: The “Pillage and Loot” Party

          • Old town Urbandale

            Yeah, offshore oil derricks are much more pleasing to the eye than offshore wind turbines.

          • Tetman Callis

            Gang of Pillagers.

          • LesBontemps

            Isn’t that a death metal band of Young Republicans?

          • Tetman Callis

            Booked for a long-term engagement at Mar-a-Lago, appearing nightly.

    • bluicebank

      Will be buried in lawsuits.

      Got to tell ya, Trump was right about creating jobs. All of them in the legal profession.

    • elviouslyqueer
    • That’s part of why they moved to gut the rules set up after Deepwater Horizon.

    • ChumpsForTrump

      Good thing crude oil is so expensive right now.. otherwise, this could actually be bad for the market…

      • BadKitty904

        Makes no diff to these spiteful bastards, as long as they can fuck over the “libruls”…

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    When’s he gonna do the repeating-the-same-story-within-10-minutes thing at one of his campaign rallies? It’ll be fun watching the media spin that one.

    • msanthropesmr

      Unless I miss my guess, he’s done it.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Who would know? They wander off looking for corndogs every 5 minutes.

  • Proud Liberal

    Can we sue Trump for destroying this country?

    • Tetman Callis

      I don’t think so. Children usually can’t be sued for damages.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Hey Mooch, no matter how many times you suck his tiny schlong on TeeVee, Donnie is still not giving you a job

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That man has an enormous forehead. I’m always sort of shocked when I see it.

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

      Mooch already got hired by someone, Could be donnie. the RNC……, but he got hired.

    • therblig

      governor orca still hasn’t learned that lesson

      • ChumpsForTrump

        I always preferred to call him Governor Soprano.. ☺️

        • Zyxomma

          And I always call him the Outlaw Jersey Whale. No, I don’t fat-shame (and besides, whale LIBELZ!!!11!!!!1!) but I detest, despise, and loathe Chris Crisco with the heat of a thousand suns, so I make an exception.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            That’s ok, whales hate him too.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      I am in accurate name overload. The Mooch vs Robin Leach. Who is more accurately named?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I can’t wait to see SNL’s spin on this situation. They can bring back The Grim Reaper as Bannon, but now he would be on the other side of the Presidential desk, instead of behind it.

  • Snowbound Ron

    Market tests indicate that ‘Desperation,’ the new fragrance for men from Donald J Trump For God-Emperor In Perpetuity Inc., isn’t going to sell well.

    • therblig

      well, it’s still a better name than the original – “Wattle Sweat”

  • Mavenmaven

    Putin probably told him this was a bad idea, just have them all killed.

    • Roadstergal

      He said nuffink. Killing folk works for keeping order, and Vlad only wants order in Russia, not the US.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    so, Herr Swamp is boosting the sales of Wolff’s book for free? How nice of him.

  • therblig

    if he’s triple dog dared, will he put his tongue on putin’s pole?

  • renegade500

    I totally just preordered this book (using the above link so that the Wonkettes get their cut). I’m going to buy a bottle of schadenfreude, and as soon as it’s delivered, it’s going straight to the top of my reading pile.

    And since I’m on vacation next week, I just hope it’s actually delivered next week when I can sit down, get toasted, and read the whole thing in one sitting.

    • Daniel

      German or Austrian Schadenfreude?

      • renegade500

        Liechtenstein.

        • Daniel

          Oooh, the niche stuff.

          • renegade500

            Nothing but the best.

  • 1) Bannon and others in the book almost certainly spoke against Trump, Trump’s family and others on Trump’s team.
    2) The quotes attributed to Bannon are almost certainly correct. Trump Jr. and others “disparaged” in the book are deep into Trump’s criminal enterprise.
    3) Wolff has a history of “recreating” conversations, “elaborating”, even making things up, and for implying greater and more intimate access than he actually has.
    4) Wolff apparently did have relatively unfettered access to people in the White House, and was able to wander about talking with people — some of whom incorrectly thought they were off the record.
    5) If Trump actually does sue, he and others in his family and team will be subject to deposition.
    6) Bannon is right about what he says about Trump and the Trump snakepit, but others are right about the bad things they say about Bannon.
    7) Even if Wolff made up significant amounts of what’s in his book, the gist of what he says is almost certainly true: the Trump team was working with Russia (and attempting to do more of it), and Trump knew about it.

    • Lefty Wright

      Besides, Wolff has no non disclosure agreement, does he? So even if Bannon could be sued (I don’t think Trump could invoke a NDA while Bannon was on the government payroll, so it would only be for campaign dirt), Wolff could publish anything and only face the hard to prove libel laws for a major public, political figure. Who himself spouts off similar comments against other public figures.

      He can claim he got the information from what should be a reliable, usually named source, and so far, none of the leaked comments are at all un-Trump like, therefore seem believable.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Lawmakers got a two-day briefing in December from a psychiatrist about Trump’s mental state—TWO DAYS

    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2018/1/3/1729659/-Lawmakers-got-a-two-day-briefing-in-December-from-a-psychiatrist-about-Trump-s-mental-state-TWO-DAYS

    • Proud Liberal

      And they do nothing.

      • Roadstergal

        They did plenty. They determined the best way to manipulate him to let them achieve their own goals of deregulation and personal wealth.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Just bought an e-book copy via the Wonkette linky. Molotov!

  • BearLeft

    Three months after Maria, and half of Puerto Rico is still without power. And what occupies our Condom-in-Chief today? His butt-hurt over his former bestie’s spill. Fuck.

  • mardam422

    Can’t wait until the first oil-soaked California seal washes up on shore. That should be a good visual, and a microcosm of the Trump Presidency.

    Fuck, I still throw up a little every time I type “Trump Presidency”.

  • TJ Barke

    Pre ordered the kindle edition.

    • weejee

      Moi aussi

  • LesBontemps

    Anyway, we expect that lawsuit to be filed sometime in the next two weeks.

    https://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/no-thursdays-out-how-about-never-robert-mankof.jpg

  • Lordpnut

    I sometimes remember the olden times in the days of Bloodstain O’Bummer…did he snivel when political opponents did everything in their power to string him up? No, he took a deep breath and ran a four-minute mile. With class.
    I miss that guy.

    • He certainly did not snivel. The man doesn’t know the word.

      If I were standing in his place, even today, things would have gotten…ethnic.

      Luther the Anger Translator nailed it.

  • James Baskin

    Oh and by the way Liberace darling, BITE ME!

  • Mister Squirrel

    And here we see how Don ever got anywhere in life, he uses his lawyers to threaten, bully, harass people.

    That’s all this monster is.

  • Daru Titor

    I thought squelch was the sound you hear when Trump puts on his wig(or blinks).
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ea372b0c11dd942a28f3c410c7313e40782f450ee6441187b6585cc40599f521.jpg

  • bluicebank

    As if today and yesterday’s proofs were needed, I’d just like to remind everyone that if I told you on, say Halloween 2016, that the Short Fingered Vulgarian would become POTUS, and that a year later a tell-all book would be written including the word “treason” in it, and furthermore Donnie’s lawyers would threaten to sue to stop the book from being read back in time …

    you would agree with me that such would be iron clad proof that we had been cruelly transported into the evil universe by an ungrateful god.

    Or accidentally switched into the evil version of our beloved universe by the IT department. Evil SysAdmin strikes again.

  • puredog

    Is it possible that someone exists that might make me root for Kelli Ward? It seems so unlikely.

  • Ray in VT

    Boy, Trump and his people just do love freedom so much, just so long as people don’t use that freedom to say mean things about them.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I can just imagine the transcripts of the depositions being read aloud by the “Rick and Morty” guys.

  • Zyxomma

    Teeheeheeheehee.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Not surprising. Trump has never been known to think about the consequences of his actions. The only question is “will he lose or will he settle ?”

    • shivaskeeper

      He won’t file at all. This is pure intimidation. And it’s going to fall on deaf ears. FFS, the cease and desist letter asks for no further books being published, for the sale starting next week to not happen, and BTW, send us copies of it so we can see what’s actually in it.

      • Hiss

        And the publisher has moved up the release date 4 days, now.

        • shivaskeeper

          Yup. I just saw that. That’s a big old Fuck You to this lawsuit. There was no way this was going to happen any other way.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          YAYYYYYY!!!
          And you get a book! And you get a book! And you, and you, and you!!! Everybody gets a book!!!!!

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            Trump is a fan of Barbara Streisand or at least her effect.

  • Lurkylu
  • Wookie Monster

    Oh please oh please oh please let them sue.

    I really want every Trumpista to have to testify under oath whether or not they called their boss a fucking moron or something similar.

  • Slamtundra

    That picture of President Shitheel makes me want to put my goddamn fist through my monitor every time. Fuck that asshole.

  • So, Michael Wolff has “tapes,” hunh? It’s nice to see the Ol’ Pussy Grabber be victim to one of his favorite bull shit intimidation tactics.

  • Herewegoagain

    No doubt about that Donald is sitting in the bunker in the bunker spitting beans – and all of Donald’s inner circle know he’s a dope !

    As ……

    But most of all, the book confirms what is already widely understood — not just that Trump is entirely unfit for the presidency, but that everyone around him knows it. One thread running through Fire and Fury is the way relatives, opportunists and officials try to manipulate and manage the President, and how they often fail. As Wolff wrote in a Hollywood Reporter essay based on the book, over the past year, the people around Trump, “all — 100 percent — came to believe he was incapable of functioning in his job”.

    http://www.smh.com.au/comment/the-people-who-prop-up-donald-trump-have-no-excuse-20180104-h0dsn2.html

  • Rickyphoo

    Lordy, I can hardly wait for this book to be made into a docudrama!

  • sarafina

    Checking Amazon, Wolff’s book is #1 with or without a bullet!

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    And the circular firing squad continues…

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