SHARE

Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Michael Wolff apparently taped all his interviews for “Fire and Furry,” even if people thought they were off the record — but this is Axios, so this a fair amount of shit attached to this “scoop.”

After their romantic honeymoon phase, the rift between Bannon and Trump became an ocean because a December piece in Vanity Fair hurt Trump’s feefees, and now one pro-Trump Republican strategist says, “Bannon was shot on the South Lawn and run over by a tank and the president shifted in gear and ran over him again.”

Steve Bannon has been gearing up for his own huge embarrassing failure in 2020 by running around the country, kissing ass and taking names of prospective voters.

One of Trump’s brilliant lawyers has sent Steve Bannon a “cease and desist” letter to stop telling reporters mean things about Donald Trump and his idiot kids.

Now that there’s a war between the Bannonites and Trumpkins, Republicans are torn between which lunatic fringe candidate to support.

Yesterday, Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein and FBI Director Chris Wray went down to the Hill to have a chat with House Speaker Paul Ryan about Yr Wonkette’s 2017 Legislative Shit Muffin Devin Nunes.

Chuck Grassley says that he’d be totally cool with hearing public testimony from the Fusion GPS guys, but Grassley won’t release the transcript because it could put words in people’s mouths.

Paul Manafort is so mad that Robert Mueller is looking into his sketchy piles of Euro Trash cash that he’s filed a lawsuit accusing the DOJ and Mueller of going too far. Too bad Manafort drew an Obama judge who was on his SCOTUS short list.

Trump dumped his entire HIV/AIDS advisory panel, apparently because they’re afraid all of Obama’s gay scientists might make Mike Pence seek gay conversion therapy from Michele Bachmann’s husband.

Congress is continuing to leave Dreamers restless with Republicans blaming Democrats for wanting to help all the filthy Mexicans, and poors, and kids, instead of cutting a blank check to #SupportOurTroops.

Since none of the states wanted to play nice, Trump has “You’re Fired” his voter fraud commission and will instead make the DHS do the dirty work of finding all the ILLEGAL Messican emails who voted for Killary Kilinton.

Investors in Fannie and Freddie are waiting on pins and needles for pending legislation that could make or break the two housing lenders.

Keep your eyes peeled for the oil rigs on the horizon as the Trump administration gets ready to unveil plans to drill, baby, drill deep in ocean waters.

Since the Trump administration’s list of vacant federal positions runs a mile long, Jeff Sessions appointed 17 interim US attorneys, one of whom is a Rudy Giuliani lapdog who had a secret meeting with Trump.

A number of retiring GOP members of Congress are perplexed that the animosity and partisanship they helped create has led to a government that has become locked in ideological tents.

According to Maggie Haberman, Trump’s White House will now start enforcing a ban on personal cell phones to keep staff from talking to palace intrigue reporters like Maggie Hellbarmin.

Some Never Trumpers held a super secret meeting with mental health professionals to talk about Trump’s insane tweet storms.

A SCOTUS case is brewing over Ohio’s Motor Voter laws, the shifty Republican-crafted laws designed to purge voter rolls.

The acting director of ICE thinks that anyone who runs a sanctuary city should be arrested and charged for helping all the brown people live their lives.

Just a reminder: Super gross Republican House Rep. Blake Farenthold still hasn’t paid back the $84,000 Ameros for his sexual harassment settlements. Also just a reminder: As of 2014, Farenthold had an estimated net worth $6.6 million, making him one of the wealthiest Congress creeps.

Later today, that Virginia House race that Democrat Shelley Simmonds already won by ONE VOTE will be decided when somebody draws a name from an antique bowl.

A nutty New Hampshire Republican state Rep. wants to fine state agencies $10,000 if they don’t acknowledge sovereign citizens as a legal class of citizens. Maybe they can all move to sanctuary cities?

You’d never know it, but there’s a number of Afghan and Iraqi translators who risked their lives for the US being screwed by Uncle Sam and the Trump administration’s ignorance and laziness about doling out visas.

Mike Pence wrote a FUCKED UP op-ed about the Iranian protests that shows his ignorance and blind partisanship about history and US foreign policy in the Muslim world.

Despite repeatedly threatening nuclear war and talking about the futility of diplomatic negotiations with North Korea, Trump is attempting to take credit for dialogue between North and South Korea.

An Asia-Pacific magazine is reporting that back in April, a North Korean ballistic missile failed shortly after launch and fell into the city of Tokchon and caused “considerable damage to a complex of industrial or agricultural buildings.”

Sean Hannity is just beside himself with grief now that Steve Bannon is fighting with his orange boyfriend; naturally he blamed the media for “hyperventilating” while “foaming at the month.”

Michael Wolff has his own take this morning about Trump’s childish temper tantrums, rampant memory problems, and the backstabbing from selfish opportunists who stalk the halls of his White House.

Somewhere deep inside Michael Wolff’s book is an excerpt saying Peter Thiel was working with Roger Ailes Mercer’s to make Fox News competitor, but Ailes died before Thiel could start his gay Nazi media empire.

Eric Trump accused Ellen DeGeneres of being a card carrying member of the “DEEP STATE” after it recommended he follow her on Twitter. DeGeneres responded, “Which one is Eric…I’ve got my gay agenda meetings on Mondays.

Just a friendly reminder…

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert wants to compete with Yr Wonkette for a “Dishonest Media Award” (BRING IT, COLBERT!); Jimmy Kimmel is offered assistance for “the smoking impaired”The Daily Show talked about Trump’s New Year nuclear-powered tweetstormJordan Klepper had Laura Grey talk about Nikki Haley’s “Mean Girl Diplomacy” at the UN.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! A SCOTTISH WILDCAT KITTEN and it’s mouthy mom!

Like Yr Wonkette, the best things in life are free because people like you support them…with money!

Follow Dominic on Twitter and send him cute animals pictures!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • schmannity

      Kellyanne is getting too skinny.

    • Parakeetist

      WTF

  • Nounverb911
    • A Groucho Marxist

      Assumes Trump has said “I love you” to any of his children.

      • SydneyP

        Well, as a punk kid, Tiny Hands certainly never heard it.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Ask Tiffany about how well this works.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Mr. Gwinn.

  • Gayer Than Thou
    • SweetDeeKat

      Both adorable!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    In case you were wondering how other countries following the new book and Bannon quotes:
    https://twitter.com/endeeh/status/948917703934398465

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      What a sick and demented fellow.

    • proudgrampa

      WTF?

    • …..ew

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I don’t necessarily need this to feel speechless and disturbed by Dumpy. In fact, unless it’s substantiated – not “thought of” – it seems unnecessary to include it. Salacious gossip – who needs it in the age of a man who didn’t know who John Boehner was, couldn’t listen to a briefing about the constitution beyond the 4th amendment (and fucking needed a briefing on the fucking constitution to begin with), and walks out of meetings with foreign leaders because he’s bored?

  • schmannity

    Thoughts and prayers for the GOP (malicious thoughts and banishing/exorcising prayers).

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I mean, if you think about it, a curse is a kind of prayer…

      • schmannity

        Just a different address

      • proudgrampa

        “GODdammit!”

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “…Trump’s White House will now start enforcing a ban on personal cell phones…”

    Because too much communication Liddle’ Babby Donnie’s biggest problem.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I never knew that N. Korea had any industrial cities. I guess they learned that their missle could do some damage.

  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      If you experience a nuclear holocaust lasting more than four hours, good luck finding a doctor.

  • Nounverb911

    Can Wonkette take out an ad for a “Fakie” too?
    https://twitter.com/StephenAtHome/status/948765450946543616

    • I will ask Editrix

      • arglebargle

        It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

  • Bananas Foster

    Kitty mommy needs some mommy’s little helper.

  • arglebargle

    That’s a pretty thick brogue on the kitteh. I could barely understand her.

  • From Russia with Love

    Hey wildcat kittie, yo mama be ugly!

  • beingreleased

    We could have had taco trucks, damnit! Taco trucks!

    • MynameisBlarney

      I never understood how they thought that was a bad thing.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Seriously. That right there should have been the cause of an historic landslide victory for Hilz.

        • MynameisBlarney

          3 million more votes wasn’t a landslide?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            It was in the recent HOA election, which raised some eyebrows because there are only about 150 of us living in this complex. But they’ve disbanded the voter fraud commission, so we’ll never know for sure.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    In the Trump/Bannon divorce who gets custody of the Nazi’s?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Pence.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Mother’s not gonna like this.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Javanka?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Unfortunately, in cases like this when neither parent is fit, they could become wards of the state.

    • proudgrampa

      It’s shared.

      Unfortunately.

  • Jesus, this interview on MSNBC right now with Stephanie Rhule and the Mooch is just a train wreck.

  • Nounverb911
  • OddMan
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Presumably when Sterling commented “this is not the time or place for another black dick joke,” Wolff listened.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        A few black dick jokes would really have added the, ah, frosting to the cake, it must be admitted.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Is it just me, or are the wheels really starting to come off the clown car?

    • ((( Augustus )))

      it feels like it, although it’s felt like it since last summer

    • Canned Covfefe

      They have more wheels.

      • therblig

        and seemingly infinite clowns

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And there all doughnut wheels at that.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Pathetically hilarious when Trump whinges about Bannon “forcing me” to endorse Roy Moore. He’s Schrodinger’s Asshole….bully colossus astride the planet AND whimpering, hapless victim.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      And lets not overlook that Liddle’ Babby Donnie followed the adviceof someone who “lost his mind”. SMRT!

    • So Trump is admitting he is an easily played fool who does what he is told?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        He’s admitted that umpteen times before. Why he hired Reince; why he endorsed Strange before he endorsed Moore; why he lied about firing Comey; why he sent those Seals into Yemen to get killed; why he occasionally uses the semblance of correct English grammar and syntax, etc.

        • Can we start hitting the cult with all of those admissions? Your golden god admits he is easily fooled and lead around by everyone!
          Relentlessly, over and over and over again

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        We already knew this, no?

    • JaveyDay

      Is Schrodinger’s Catheter hooked up to Schrodinger’s Asshole?

      • CptnEng2311

        Yes and No.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Well now we know what “job” Ivanka does.
    https://twitter.com/PuestoLoco/status/948923259109675014

    • MynameisBlarney

      Goddamn.
      No fuckin wonder Melania looks so damn sad.

      • Bananas Foster

        I would think this would make her look relieved…

        • The sadness would come from being locked in an utterly loveless marriage to a lunatic who may be doing,,,well…things….
          can’t finish that thought. But anyway, I am sure at times she feels the money may not be worth it

          • Bananas Foster

            I actually do have some sympathy for Melania.

            But, she’s not locked in a loveless marriage.

            Divorce is legal.

          • Yes, but, there are probably a billion little things in the prenup that would leave her- and Barron, because Trump IS just that petty- without I would wager. Or if not utterly without, than on a tinier bit than what she gets if she sticks it out. Hence the idea that the money is not worth it.
            I actually do feel sorry for her, because to me it seems as if she was bought, and is supporting her entire family it seems like, including rents and siblings.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Melania could make bank EASY with a ghostwritten memoir and maybe even a reality tv show. She just needs to up her hustle.

          • SweetDeeKat

            I also assume Barron is a hostage. Seen some nasty things in the divorce world.

          • Donna Mueller

            she hasn’t used the polonium …..yet

    • Nounverb911
      • The Wanderer

        Oh yes. The Creepy Incest Vibe, one of the few high points of that weak-tea parody of the Nuremberg Rally.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Well I guess I don’t have to have breakfast now…

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Ew.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Jared, I’m busy. Would you go wake up Daddy?”

      (shouted from the other room) “No! He can’t come in!”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I’m going to remember you, RB, when I’m still wretching hours from now.

    • NastyBossetti

      I really don’t like that there are scare quotes around “wake up.”

    • proudgrampa

      He’s probably scared that Melania is going to stab him in the morning.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “Zeese is not what I agreed!!!!!!1!”

    • The Wanderer

      (Ivanka): “Excuse me?”
      (Secret Service Guy): “How can I help you, Ma’am?”
      (Ivanka): “Have some fresh hamsters sent up; these are cold. Oh, and get a pint of warm cream cheese, too. Going to be a busy night.”

  • Nounverb911
  • Vienna Woods

    Dominic, I’m going to bug you about your use of “laying” in your profile just because I’m a retired English teacher who had to teach so many people this simple rule. (including one of my principals!)
    First, flashback to my Grade 9 english class in 1974, with poor sweet first-year teacher Mr Smith when he was teaching us the important distinction between “lay” and “lie”. He said, “I would say, I lie on the couch, but I lay you on the couch.” Then he realized what he had said and turned bright red. 43 years later I can still see him.
    What I taught my students? “You lie yourself down, but you lay something-or someone- else.”
    End of lesson. Imma going to finish my coffee with canna oil and look for writing gigs.

    • Suttree

      I did not even read your post. I just upvoted it, Vienna.

      • Vienna Woods

        Hey, it’s quality commenting there!

        • Suttree

          I was busy ignoring grammar….and smoking pot!

          • Vienna Woods

            Sigh… I wish I could ignore grammar. 30 years of wielding a red (or pink, or purple) pen leaves a mark. At least I no longer tell people to remove their hats.

          • Suttree

            Eh, 20 years of welding leaves me almost blind.

          • Querolous

            Bad grammar is something that I ain’t going to up with put.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That has gotten me into trouble before, lol.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Do they even teach English grammar anymore? Do they get to diagram sentences? Distinctions between transitive and intransitive verbs seems so last century. I thought diagramming sentences was the most exciting thing EVER!!!!

      • NastyBossetti

        I loved diagramming sentences. I thought I was the only one!

        • proudgrampa

          Oh, no! That was the coolest thing in the world, diagramming a sentence!

        • YoBunnyBunny

          I still haven’t diagrammed The Pledge of Allegiance yet… But it’s on the bucket list.

        • Vienna Woods

          Honestly, all I know of it is from Little Town on the Prairie where Laura diagrams a sentence to get her teacher’s license. I was always intrigued by it.

      • Vienna Woods

        Confession: as a child of the 70’s high school, I never learned to diagram a sentence. It’s one of my retirement goals to learn.

      • cmd resistor

        Somehow my English grammar days happened in one of those periods where sentence diagramming was not a thing so I never learned it. I think it was one of those things that fell in and out of favor because I am certainly old enough to have been exposed to it.

    • Suttree

      Tehehehe! You still win.

      • Vienna Woods

        And you changed it! A+ on this assignment!

    • arglebargle
      • Cock Blockula

        That song always creeped me out. Dylan trying to be seductive never cut it with me.

    • PubOption
      • Vienna Woods

        I love that song!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      The “i” in “lie” stands for “intransitive.”

      That’s my mnemonic, but I’m one of those olds who could tell you what “intransitive” means. Could diagram a sentence, too.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      The way I remember it is, Bob Dylan got it wrong with “Lay Lady Lay” and God Himself (Clapton) did with “Lay Down Sally.” In these cases, euphony trumped grammar. Also too, Jim Morrison got a different thing wrong with this:

      Now I’m gonna love you till the heavens stop the rain.
      I’m gonna love you till the stars fall from the sky
      For you and I.

  • Suttree

    Sorry, guys and gals. I am one of those 1895647363251251783298347261 bazillion people that has sex with watermelons.

    • proudgrampa

      Oh? Tell us more…

      • therblig

        yes honey, do

        • Jamalama

          :/

        • proudgrampa

          ISWYDT.

  • ariel_gee_398

    The problem for Manafort is not that he drew an Obama judge, it’s that his lawsuit is crap and he’s laundering money for years.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Damn, that’s a long Wonkagenda.

    • It’s not much longer than it usually is!

    • MynameisBlarney

      That’s what she….

      Ah, never mind.

    • proudgrampa

      The hits just keep on coming!

  • BrendaKay

    Is everyone else shocked (not shocked) that Sessions is excited to start cracking down on marijuana now that CA has legalized it?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Oh, Hannity…

    In real life they hate Bannon, and they hate Trump. But right now they will be supportive of Steve Bannon if they think he’s advancing their cause.

    I don’t see anyone being supportive of Bannon outside your warren of confused howler monkeys.

    • proudgrampa

      Howler monkey libels!

      https://youtu.be/UdnwLX5m3G8

      • Querolous

        The louder the calls the smaller the balls.

    • Hannity was right about a thing! We hate both Trump and Bannon!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You can hate two people at the same time. It’s not that hard.

      • NastyBossetti

        I can hate so many more than that! It seems like it might be unlimited.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Still feeling squicked out and nauseous over the story of Trump-a man who’s never lifted a finger to do a domestic chore in his life-stripping his own sheets every morning and refusing to allow the White House staff anywhere near his bed. That washerwoman tell-all book is gonna be a doozy.

    • Rags

      Well, just to add squick to squick – I wonder if 4-5 has a pee fetish and does his own bed every morning, and the Russian pee tape is actually a team event…..sorry to everyone everywhere who ever reads this.

    • Vienna Woods

      This probably explains his insistence on flying home to Trump Tower every night while on campaign.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I hope he’s paying the domestic help a LOT of money. Ha! WTF was I thinking? He threatens to deport them if they say anything.

    • he’s totally a lizard.

  • OddMan

    The dust jacket headline –
    The Book That The President Tried to Ban!

    Hehehe

    https://twitter.com/CarolLeonnig/status/948916606461206529

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Well that ought to take care of things. Done and done.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Oh, THAT’S gonna work, for sure!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I was on the fence about this, but maybe I’ll preorder the book now.

      • Tishalicious

        Only $15 on Kindle!

    • HooverVilles

      Trump attorneys send cease-and-desist letter this morning to Wolff and book publisher

      Trump just guaranteed the book will sell out fast.

      • therblig

        there’s probably a graphic novel version in the works already.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          When’s the Netflix series adaption? I would watch.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Here’s a visual representation of the results.

      https://media1.giphy.com/media/ckxaPj10WOcVO/giphy.gif

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Brilliant!! I’m sure NOBODY will want a copy now! It’s definitely not going to be a #1 bestseller after Herr Dumpy’s scolding.
      Wait.

    • PubOption

      Peter Wright did pretty well from all the publicity when the UK government tried to ban Spycatcher.

    • The Librarian

      No Apologies –Eminem

  • Duke

    Dirty coal nice time.
    If I ran the railroad, I’d blow the whistle all the time, too.
    https://youtu.be/HRTYNxtbnjI

    • NorthernSaber

      One of my earliest Yule memories is getting one of those old Lionel train sets that made its own smoke and had a crossing guard that went down when the train went over it. The Lionel Club on this train was a lucky bunch- and yeah, I’d blow that whistle till the damned thing fell off!

  • Nounverb911
    • proudgrampa

      This is not good news for the Thanksgiving Parade.

      • Canned Covfefe

        OMG Didn’t think of that! Someone* will step in. Maybe the could have been spending that $ on their business. Obviously it wasn’t working from a promotional angle.
        * Could be anyone since co are people too.

    • bupkus231

      Didn’t Rump ragetweet about Macy’s last year, after they dropped his clothing line?

      It’s not the “tax breaks” – it’s the power of the Rump tweet!!!!

  • beingreleased

    Since none of the states wanted to play nice, Trump has “You’re Fired” his voter fraud commission and will instead make the DHS do the dirty work of finding all the ILLEGAL Messican emails who voted for Killary Kilinton.

    They were so close to proving that every single vote cast for Hillary was fraudulent, too.

  • Joe Beese

    Wolff not necessarily reliable?

    Does this mean Ivanka isn’t “dumb as a brick”?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      That’s reliable no matter who said it.

    • schmannity

      Not quite as smart as a brick.

    • therblig

      really don’t mind if she sits this one out.

  • spangled

    Can I be excited by the disbandment of the voter suppression commission? Scary it’s going to DHS but if Kobach isn’t involved I’m happy.

    • Keep in mind DHS was gutted a while ago

      • Tetman Callis

        I hope the surviving staff at DHS recognize they have higher priorities.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • bupkus231

      Nah – It would take investigations/indictments of Kobach and the setup of the Commission. Fuckin’ Rump based this Commission on nothing more than his own narcissism and refusal to face his loss of the popular vote – and some nonsensical belief in the long disproved Republican conspiracy theory about voter fraud.

      It’s not enough for this Commission to just go away – they need to be held accountable for the waste of government resources and taxpayer money, just on Rump’s sayso – and the unforgivable inaction of the GOP Congress. I’m sure if it had been a Democratic president, the GOP Congress would have been on him/her like white on rice.

  • Carole

    Axios link is broken. Maybe due to legal issues with recording people.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Worked just a while ago. Hmm

      • Carole

        Fastest injunction ever?

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Sometimes, crime does pay…

    2 Former Christie Bridge Lawyers Get Key Trump Positions
    https://www.apnews.com/314004c8966e44ce90b9cf1f167bbee3/2-former-Christie-bridge-lawyers-get-key-Trump-positions

    Both of Republican Gov. Chris Christie’s lawyers during the George Washington Bridge lane-closing scandal have now been given key positions under President Donald Trump.

    The Department of Justice announced Craig Carpenito’s appointment on Wednesday as New Jersey’s interim U.S. attorney.

    Christopher Wray, who represented Christie during a federal investigation into the lane-closing scandal, was named to head the FBI in June.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Uh oh. Metro riders better be nice to him now.

    • bupkus231

      Also, too – Bill Stepien, Christie’s campaign director and one-time deputy chief of staff, who was deeply involved in Bridgegate even tho’ never indicted, has ended up as Rump’s WH political director….

      Who needs Christies when one can hire all his ratfcking minions. Expect Stepien to hire Bridget Kelly any moment now….

  • Nounverb911
  • freakishlypersistent

    Literally 2 days ago, I predicted that Dump would take credit for the fact that two Koreas are talking without him. So pathetic.

  • Cock Blockula

    That is one Chatty Catty! Was it saying, “Worship no others before me, Hooman! Oh, look at my cute babby to worship also too! Also all your catnip are belong to me, so fork over!”?

    I think that’s what I heard, but I have trouble with those thick Scottish accents.

  • Nounverb911
    • Carole

      Prefer Bruce Campbell’s Cream of Evil. I even have the T shirt.

    • I prefer the cream of sum yun gai
      *not mine, Wayne’s world, blame them

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I would think Cream of Orange would be more fitting.

  • Impatient

    Oh. Hahaha. A state that wants to recognize <<>>

    Except that funny, absurd and ridiculous fell out the car window months ago, and we’re heading into the Nevada desert with only about a cup o gas left. Hmm. Maybe we could stop at the Bundy ranch. They’re always helpful and pleasant.

  • SadDemInTex

    I’m exhausted already

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      IKR? I’ve only been up half an hour, and the new year’s only 4 days old. It’s hard to know what’s more exhausting, being constantly excited and then deflated by news that enrages Dumpy or just living under his regime.

  • Nounverb911
  • I’m lying on the table waiting for a spinal injection of steroids.

    Wonkette as a sedative is better than nothing.

    • Suttree

      Good luck! I had a scheduled ass/gut doctor appt today, but they don’t seem to be open. Not even for anything. Just drug adjustment.

      • Thanks Suttree. I get these bloody shots every 6 weeks to stay mobile.

        • Suttree

          I hear ya. I need to convince my GP that possibly some steroids every so often might help.

  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904

    OT: California Looks for Ways Around Federal Tax Changes
    https://www.apnews.com/727ade4886e044bd9ef99c487b03da24/California-looks-for-ways-around-federal-tax-changes

    Democratic California lawmakers are exploring ways to blunt the impact of the new federal tax law on the state’s taxpayers.

    Federal law has long allowed people to deduct their state and local taxes from their federal tax bill, but the tax overhaul signed last month by President Donald Trump caps that deduction at $10,000.

    That change will be especially notable in high-tax states like California, where more than a third of taxpayers claimed the deduction for an average of $18,438 in 2015 — the third highest after New York and Connecticut, according to IRS data.

    • Nounverb911

      Charge the military property taxes for their bases?

      • The Wanderer

        Tax the evangelist’s churches while they’re about it.

        • georgiaburning

          That could hurt them, especially down in SoCal. But it would be hard to separate mainline denominations like Espiscopalians and Catholics from the right-wing nutters.

    • Cock Blockula

      “are exploring ways to blunt…”

      Now that recreational weed is legal in Cali, of course we are looking for ways to blunt…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Don’t bogart that joke, my friend…

        • Querolous

          One joke over the line sweet Jesus…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Maybe all Californians should explore the simple route of not paying any federal taxes as long as the orange shitgibbon is in office?

    • Ayep. This was aimed precisely at forcing blue states to cute back on their taxes and hence, cut back on their services.
      They are trying to turn blue states into the hell holes of miseducation and lack of services they have turned some red states

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        The thing is, I don’t see blue states allowing an orange dictator and his enablers in “congress” to force them to cut services. What I see is more along the lines of a series of lawsuits brought in federal courts. And since California is, what, the 6th-largest economy in the world, my money’s on them to prevail.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “That’ll learn ’em to think they’re better than us.”

      • BadKitty904

        Bingo. And fuck them and their tax scam. I’m all for the blue states redirecting their federal taxes to support in-state infrastructure, if necessary.

        Taxation Without Representation Is Tyranny!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • MynameisBlarney

      *self redacted*

      Missed the link in the Wonkagenda..

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    With no Voter Fraud Commission in the way, I’m already soliciting SorosBucks to sign up my dead relatives to vote this year. Mexican family, I have a LOT of dead relatives. I’m gonna be rich!!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Can a Canadian zombie get a piece of that action?

    • Suttree

      Will you adopt me as the eastern European part of your family?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        There was a Croat in the woodpile.

        • Suttree

          Haha! Excellent!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Czech it out! I’m not Poland your leg.

          • Suttree

            A bit of Slovene also too.

          • kilgoretrout

            You’re Slovene you probably think this song is about you

          • Suttree

            Tehehehe! Nice!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Moldova! I’m sittin’ here!

        • Suttree

          Wait what are we going to win out of this?!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You’ll be disappointed.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’d love to meet them all. Next Nov. 1 at your place?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        There will be tacos.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • spangled

      Didn’t Pelosi campaign for legalization in California? You know, that neoliberal corporate whore who isn’t a real progressive?

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I still believe that if Hillary had advocated legalization, she’d be president today.

  • ManchuCandidate

    And this is how Trump Admin ends… In a circular firing squad, a cloud of Alzheimers and self cock sucking.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      As long as that is the only cloud that results from this, I am ok with that.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Note to all you Nazis who think ‘satire’ is claiming Obama is a Muslim. This is satire.

    Alt-right children left upset at being forced to choose between their two Dads

    http://newsthump.com/2018/01/03/alt-right-children-left-upset-at-being-forced-to-choose-between-their-two-dads/

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    It’s probably become unnecessary to put the (R) tag behind most repukes’ names when you’re reporting on the batshit insane stuff they’re up to. Who but an (R) would want to recognize “sovereign citizens,” promise to pay back bribe money but then not do it, and wonder how everything got so hyper-partisan after spending 8 years obstructing everything the Dems were trying to do? I mean, seriously. We don’t write, “Michael Smith, (1), pooped his diaper today.” Normally, the age is understood. (Of course, this doesn’t apply to current republican “presidents,” members of the “freedom caucus,” and Rick Santorum.)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      (NSDAP-Sudetenland)

    • NastyBossetti

      Isn’t there a commenter here called Michael Smith? He might appreciate you putting the age after that one. Or maybe he did poop his diaper today. That’s not my business.

      • Querolous

        Cam this Michael Smith grok?

    • bupkus231

      Your suggestion might be helpful in this instance:

      “David Vitter, ( 56 ), pooped his diaper today.”

      Then again, maybe not…

  • Rags

    Wonkette will have to get their game on to beat Colbert’s campaign for Fake Media Awards…. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0c1e8ebff5811a8386835f2f6ac70a8a0f49d13609b1a5144fb6dbdbbe83c478.jpg

    • YoBunnyBunny

      He’ll display it right next to his Emmy Awards.

  • I just realized something.
    You know all those crude and somewhat classist redneck/WVA jokes we’ve all told (might just be me) when we were yutes?
    They can all be used for Trumps!

    Example:
    Q:What is a Trumpian Virgin?
    A: A daughter who can run faster than DJT!

  • Nounverb911
    • wait. By putting MAGA after that, does he mean it is MAGA to have fake books?
      What?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      He knows #FAKE. Look at his wife.

    • Nounverb911
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Don’t WORRY Steve! I’m sure Louise will stay loyal while you’re in prison. I mean, her personal trainer doesn’t count, right?

    • Daniel

      1) the book is real. The stories in it may not be, but fiction is a thing.
      2) are you just now learning that books can tell untruths? You work with Mike Pence and Betsy deVos, for fuck’s sake. Your boss’s autobiography was ghost written.
      3) Borges and Lem will blow your mind.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Down and down and down they go, where they stop…well, you all know the rest.

    https://twitter.com/TheRickWilson/status/948931893688520704

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      meh. they’re only in Butthole McYodeltown territory. call me when they get to Bernie’s Letter on the Nevada Convention territory.

    • Silly Rick. Everyone knows Blightfart is the same thousand or so with a billion sock puppet accounts.
      Someday I will prove this. As we all know, everyone who sock puppets eventually forgets and posts on the wrong account. Should just be a simple matter of data collection

  • goonemeritus

    That pivot we all anticipated to a more presidential administration continues to allude Don.

    • WeaselPoo

      Elude.
      But don’t worry….he’s definitely for sure going to pivot with his upcoming SOTU as sure as planet Nobiru!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Oh fuck, I forgot about the SOTU… I don’t know whether to duck for cover or break out the popcorn.

        • SweetDeeKat

          I hope there’s a Wonkette livefeed. You wonderful people have saved my TV screens from heavy hurled objects many times.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Considering how many things Presidents do that the Doturd doesn’t, are we sure we’re going to get a SOTU?

    • Apple Scruff

      I actually think he’s become LESS presidential than a year ago. How is that even possible?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        IKR?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        When you’ve got a Bob Mueller-size hemorrhoid in you’re ass, being less presidential is a given.

    • Hardly Ideal

      He’s still plenty welcome to go spin on it.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    a) I’m no Dale Earnhardt, but “pro-Trump Republican” sounds like s/he’s never driven anything larger than a golf cart in her/his life.

    b) I don’t know who really is going to be torn. the majority of the party would like the establishment to please take back over and Karl Rove is already working on it. what? you thought Mittens was a one-off?

    c) I thought Mother Karen protected Mikey from all the gays and womens by group dating…?

    d) when it comes to “drool, babby, drool”, I’m a little more concerned about sand mining at the moment. not only is it threatening lizards in West Texas, it also too made the flooding in the Houston area a whole lot fucking worse because the mining operations were dumping silt both legally and illegally which clogged the bayous that were supposed to shuttle water out of the city. it’s not the only thing that could have been done better, but it’s one of them. sand mining is done to collect fine sand for fracking operations.

    e) how does one lock a tent in general and an ideological tent in specific? LORAX 2020: WE NEED A BAN ON TENT LOCKS UNTIL WE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!

    f) maybe the director of ICE needs to speak to some Republicans about defining “sanctuary city” in statute since it appears neither the TX law banning sanctuary cities nor the CA law enabling them define the term. if you can’t define it, you can’t enforce it!

    g) Congresscritter Duckie Pajamas should have plenty of money in his campaign account to pay back the federal government seeing as he is packing up his frat party and going home at the end of this term. I know it’s not what the donors wanted, but he would only have $6.55 million in net worth if he didn’t.

    h) since NH has 400 state reps from 204 districts, I think it’s safe to say that dog won’t hunt. why do they have so many? I guess they don’t want anything passing ever.

    i) projection is Mannity’s default emotion.

    j) what is with all the Greengrocer’s in 2018?!

    k) WE ARE OUT OF SALT AND BUTTER FOR OUR POPCORN!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Someone woke up perky!

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        CJ and CC are still asleep.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Perks can come in singlets.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            this is a PEAR!

          • Beanz&Berryz

            We do pears good here

    • Msgr_MΩment

      TL;DR…. POPCORN?!?!?! WTAF??!!

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        we have been told to take so many things with grains of salt that Team Taco is out of salt and also too butter.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Brewers yeast to the rescue!

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            YAS was just about to say this. Flake yeast & garlic powder, maybe some parmesan if you aren’t worried about staying healthy. The hell w butter & salt, so 19th century.

    • I am more concerned about the oceans myself. While the sand thing is bad regionally, and has a more immediate impact, the ocean thing is bad globally, though the impact will be long term. As in, when we finish killing our oceans mammalian life on this planet is finished.

    • Nockular cavity

      I’m worried about our popcorn stockpiles.

      • SDGeoff3

        Popcorn trees are freezing in Florida.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        we can always use the ethanol stock.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Obama’s gay scientists might make Mike Pence seek gay conversion therapy from Michele Bachmann’s husband.

    You know who else might make Mike Pence seek gay conversion therapy? That’s right! Doug Jones’s hot gay son Carson, pictured here throwing serious shade at Pence’s nervous nellie gayface:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e4a194252ad39a139c1be7085c2a7c8d419df541e5bebd390a1d29efed210dea.png

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “My eyes are up here, dickwad!”

      • elviouslyqueer

        “Why yes, my button is bigger than Trump’s, Mikey.”

    • …his son is pretty cute.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Question: If hot, sexy son got ghey all over Papa’s Bible, is Dad’s oath no moar valid than crossing his fingers behind his back while oathing?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I think we should ask Roy Moore’s slack-jawed expert Bibble-Oath-splainer about this.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      He’s ramming ghey down Pence’s throat with his mind.

      • kilgoretrout

        ANd Pence’s “mother” is no where around.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Also too, Pence is clearly sporting so much wood in this pic that the timber industry just bought stock.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Sorry, right-wing morons aren’t my type.”

  • BigCSouthside

    Lol he sent a cease and desist to the publisher.

    If it’s untrue you dont send a C&D, you sue the fuck out of them for libel.

    Please god take this shit to court. It would be EPIC

    • The Wanderer

      And, we must recall, the truth is an affirmative defense to libel.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yep…that little thingie called “discovery”. Trump would not fare well.

      • BigCSouthside

        It would be so much fucking fun

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      My understanding is that the lawyers are saying that Bannon violated a non-disclosure agreement. I have no idea what the legalities are here.

      • BigCSouthside

        They sent to publisher and author too, who aren’t bound by NDA

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        According to the law-splainers on Rachel and Lawrence last night, non-disclosure agreements about “presidents” can’t be upheld because the “president” is a public figure, and people have a right to know what their government is doing.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I think that’s true once someone is working for the White House, but time during the campaign could be less clear. Obama’s 2016 law gives cover to whistleblowers even during the campaign times, allegedly.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            But the key question is: Do we really care? In a legal fight between Dumpy and The Leper, I’m rooting for whoever owns the popcorn franchise.

        • doingthis1moretime

          Bannon may be bound but if the info gets out its out anyway. Bannon can either be fined or jailed depending on court actions, but as a connected wealthy white man, that means fuck all, he’s above the law.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Also from the NYT article:

        The Defend Trade Secrets Act, signed into law by President Barack Obama in 2016, provides immunity to whistleblower employees who report suspected illegal activity. That might or might not apply to Bannon. But either way, his lawyers would argue that it did.

        So Bannon, and anyone else now, has a way around the NDAs they signed to be Trump fluffer…

        • ROFL and to be saved by an Obama era act

        • renegade500

          Well I’m sure that law isn’t long for this world, what with it having been signed by the illegal secret Muslim from Hawaii.

      • Carole

        Yeah, Christian Grey made him sign one.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I was under the impression that Trump couldn’t use NDA’s in the government. He wasn’t Steve Bannon’s employer, since the American people were paying his salary, so the only entity that could legally enforce an NDA would be the American taxpayers.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I’m counting down the seconds until the ABA sues Trump’s brilliant lawyers for making the entire legal profession look monumentally stupid.

    • zomg, if a coalition of lawyers would only file a cease and desist letter against Trump Lawyers for whatever legal shit covers “Making us all look bad” that would be great

    • The Wanderer

      “Mr. Ty Cobb, Esq.: You have brought dishonor upon the legal profession. You are required to surrender your credentials, and must relinquish your mustache to the custody of the nearest hair salon so it can be cared for until such time as you are deemed fit to care for it properly.”

    • Eileen Besse

      ABBA libelz!!!1

  • David Chaillou

    And then the murders began…

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Dear Paul Manafort,
    If you have a problem with the criminal charges you are facing, you file a motion in the court that is handling your case. You do not file a civil lawsuit. You are a very silly person.

    Not your friend,
    SG

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Almost Trumpian in the legal strategic thinking… “Mueller had no authority to find out about my criminal activities, so I must be set free.”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Perzackly. “If you look in my shed, or dig under my house, one more time, Mister, I’m gonna sue you!”

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “An those transition team emails were all private!!!!!!11!!1”

    • cmd resistor

      And no, just because Scalia is dead and considered a saint or genius or something by many foolish people, you don’t get points for citing his dissents numerous times.

  • folderol

    Taking a cue from Trump’s example, I’ve sent a cease and desist order to my children to stop them from making disparaging remarks about me. And I’ll sue their asses for every penny I gave them, I really will.

    • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

      We’ve been known to try to silence our girls with the “mute” button on the TV remote.
      Alas, it has never worked.
      *sigh*

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It could be all lies, but it’s still more believable than Obama being born in Kenya.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    When all this is over, assuming it doesn’t end in a mushroom cloud, can we have, like, a ten-year moratorium on mentions of any member, no matter how tangentially connected s/he is, of this entire shitshow of a regime? I don’t even want to hear about the person who’s not allowed to touch the “president’s” toothbrush. I never thought I’d miss the days of stories about the Duggars and silly people arguing about flag fringes, yet here we are.

  • SDGeoff3

    The Scottish Wildcats are all I need today. Thank you.

  • Weird Fishes

    “Not now, Hamish. Mum’s busy growling.”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      In catspeak, she was actually being fairly polite. “This was more of a go away, please, because kittens”.

  • renegade500

    This is my favorite Nice Time! I would not mess with that mom.

    I have to wonder if Bannon is no longer on Trump’s Holiday Card list. I hope the divorce won’t affect the kids.

    Also, my own Nice Time. Hiddles didn’t think I needed to be watching all those football games last week. (He is a total rock star, and I assure you all, he knows it.)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f99389e0bfdf3097375a2abbe83533618a01ccc45566bdd48436bbe2fb3adb49.jpg

    • Tiffany de Houston

      That is a beautiful kitty cat.

      • renegade500

        Thanks! Hiddles is a hot mess of a complicated cat, but I sure do love the hell out of his handsome self.

      • Trip Space-Parasite

        Orange cat with white tailtip is BEST CAT.

        • renegade500

          When he goes up and down the stairs in my house it looks like a ball of cotton floating in the air.

    • oh my god so gorgeous!

  • The Wanderer

    (Mama Wildcat): “You’ll have had your tea.”

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I didn’t think they had wildcats in Edinburgh.

      • The Wanderer

        They might, and don’t cross them down in Glasgow, or they’ll set about you.

        • NorthernSaber

          Whilst screaming at you in Glaswegian, no less!

  • shivaskeeper

    Cease and Desist letters are standard Trump tactics. Cease and desist, counter suits, frivolous motions in court to drag out a case against him, all the other bullshit he can pull to wear you and more importantly, your wallet down so you will drop a case.

    This is not surprising.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I don’t think Trump nor his lawyers has figured out that while those tactics work on ‘little people’, they don’t work so well against the government and their Justice League of Actually Smart Lawyers.

      • They won’t even work on Bannon, who has more money than Trump.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          While I don’t think Bannon is the Evil Genius he certainly thinks himself to be, he certainly does have more brains than all of the Trump Brain Trust combined.

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            Plus Bannon was smart enough to actually pay his lawyers and not to try dick them over, Unlike Deadbeat Donny…

          • Daniel

            Like most molluscs.

      • shivaskeeper

        They have not. Why would they? It’s almost always worked in the past so there is no reason to think it won’t work now. Other than the fact that they are fucking idiots, of course.

        • KnaveOfSwords

          Well, Donnie’s lawyers get paid the same (or end up needing to sue to actually get paid) no matter who’s client runs out of money to throw at this, and DOTUS is well-known for surrounding himself with people who are grifty assholes like him, so…

          • shivaskeeper

            Right. As long as he pays the bills, up front preferably, the lawyers will file any motion he wants. They may or may not know they don;t have a case as their expertise may be out of this field, but whatever. As long as they get paid to do it.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Trump’s lawyers are working under the legal principal of Semper in conspectu si pati laboravi.

  • shivaskeeper

    Also, too Scottish Wildcat trying out her murder face but being outclassed by kitten.

    • Notreelyhelping

      “And I will snuff all of you and all that spring from your fookin loins! And—“
      “Look, mommy! Look!”
      “In a second, honey. I will tear thee limb from limb and—“
      “I’m climbing the tree stump ALL BY MYSELF!”
      “Great, good. Give mommy just one more sec. Ye shall run from—“
      “I made up a song! 🎶 OH I CLIMBED THE DEAD TREE STUMP ALL BY MYSELF!” 🎶
      “Fook. Let’s do this later, mate. Alright?”

      • shivaskeeper

        Pretty much how I saw it.

      • leslie

        nature is red in tooth and claw……

  • Carpe Vagenda

    So, that answers that question about the Mercers and their loyalties (from Aixso, or whatever they call that stupid thing):

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd14d86cc5ceb59bdd46910ef1fa832267c70b2e92c0c2800b2710af5eca82a7.png

    • Axios is the worst, I swear.

      • TundraGrifter

        The name sounds like one of those prescription drugs with nasty side effects (like “death”) that are advertised on the evening news when the olds are watching TV.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        But… how could a media concept which starts with the sexy concept “Two veteran villagers from the Weymouth-era Washington Post embrace bullet points” go wrong?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, lord have mercy. Also them:

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1746d88478a81921cbb28cf16d627e09ea7d841cf05379e8e337fcee099738ba.png

        The White House says he’s a sleazy little self-promoting scumbag, but WOULD HE HAVE GOTTEN INTO THE WEST WING IF THAT WAS TRUE, HNNNNGGH?

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Did you know that Steve Bannon has a radio show? I did not know that.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I did, in fact. People were boycotting Sirius.

  • The Librarian

    I think it would be great if Ellen was part of the Deep State. The gheys need to have somebody in there mixing things up.

  • KnaveOfSwords

    Congress is continuing to leave Dreamers restless with Republicans blaming Democrats for wanting to help all the filthy Mexicans, and poors, and kids, instead of cutting a blank check to #SupportOurTroops.

    Armchair quarterbacking here for a moment, but I’m of the opinion that with the budget coming up again (they only secured a one-month extension), Dems in congress need to get together and come up with a short (I’d recommend 3-5 items) list of things to present to rAyn and McTurtle with “we’ll vote for a non-F’ed budget as long as it includes these. Otherwise, you get to try to wrangle enough votes without us. (hint: the senate can’t) If you need time to finish working out the details, we’re on-board for a one-month clean extension.” Stick to the things that aren’t going to be easily spun as “we’re holding the government hostage” and that they can in good conscience say to themselves and their constituants that “Yes, this is worth shutting the government down over.” My suggestions would be the following:

    Safeguard Meuller’s investigation against Trump’s fuckery
    CHIP
    ACA payments.
    DACA

    And don’t bluff. R leadership has largely grown dependent on the assumption that enough Dems will go along to get along no matter how much fuckery the Rs get up to. Don’t. If it comes to that, let the government shut down and go give interviews and op-eds to the tune of “We consider children’s healthcare to be too important to go along with the Republican’s assurances of ‘we’ll get to that eventually’ while they refused to have any part in addressing it now” or “Most of our Republican colleagues have said they agree that Trump shouldn’t fire Meuller, but their leadership wants no part in actually preventing it,” until the Rs come back to the table.

    If they won’t cooperate (or can’t remember how to, after 8 years of refusing to support anything that Dems were in favor of, and 1 of refusing to have any public discussion on the bills they were presenting), make them go into an election year arguing why they decided to shut the government down rather than do any of the things they’ve been swearing were on the agenda just as soon as they’d pulled their big tax heist, or that it was worth shutting the government down to ensure that Trump still has the ability to shut down the investigation into him even though we agree that he shouldn’t and are very sure he isn’t going to.

    • this is great. i was in a congressperson’s office today and he/she was very excited about 18.

      made me excited.

  • Boscoe

    LOL Eric Trump… smh

  • Snowbound Ron

    I do ever so much love watching the GOP running about in full panic mode. Just needs this music: https://youtu.be/eRGVYwobPDk?t=2m1s

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Mike Allen clarifies the Who’s Frankenstein’s Monster? issue for The Atlantic, is also wrong:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c353fd21b2965029f78d6a4aa932bb62037a15aceb890de34873b736caaeb1b9.png

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Link please.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    some asshole is on The Texas Standard right now claiming that Republicans further from the border are going to be the first to cave on the Tortilla Curtain. WTF? all the people this particular flavor of xenophobic bullshit works on live nowhere near the border.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    dom, you got a typo in the sean hannity entry:
    ““foaming at the month.”

    (and yes, i checked the link since it’s in quotes)

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      also too:

      I think you’re missing an ‘a” here between make and Fox:
      “Peter Thiel was working with Roger Ailes Mercer’s to make Fox News competitor”

    • Doug Langley

      You’re gonna make a good lawyer.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        Thanks!

  • MAZS

    While it is certainly true that Wolff hardly qualifies as a journalist and is a self-promoting twit, I haven’t noticed Bannon say he was misquoted–though Bannon is normally such a shy and reticent person.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    A White House ban on personal cellphones!! Ha ha! Your average teenager knows how to get around that. I visited a local high school 2 years ago and was given a tour, and when I looked in the classrooms, it seemed that at least half the students had cell phones in their hands during class, even though I had read there was a cell phone ban at the school. The teacher said “Yes, we had a ban, but it didn’t work, because they know a dozen ways to sneak cell phones in. We tried confiscating them, too, but that didn’t work either.”

    • Vienna Woods

      I was so glad to retire and not have to deal with that shit any more.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        When I was in school, long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, if the school had rules banning something, my mother made damn sure I didn’t take it to school. If I had done it anyway, I would have been more afraid of her reaction when she found out, than I would have been of the school’s punishment. This concept appears to have vanished.

        • Vienna Woods

          Oh, it has. The thing I miss even less than hats and phones is calls from parents.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          When my kid was young, I established a rule that if she was caught doing something stupid at school and I was called about it, she’d have the punishment from school and double the fun at home. She only tested it once in 4th grade. I am very creative with punishments so she would always dread what I would come up with.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My mother grew up in the 20’s, and she said the worst thing that could happen to children was getting in trouble at school, because parents would punish their children a second time at home. Teachers were the second most highly respected people in the community – after priests and ministers, and before doctors. It was a great honor for a child’s teacher to visit the parent’s home, and they laid out the red carpet for her. What the teacher said was not to be questioned. That is definitely a vanished world.

    • Doug Langley

      It’s no better in college, either.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very true. I live in a university town, and when I am forced by circumstances to drive around the campus, all I see is groups of students walking down the sidewalk staring at the cell phones in their hands. Quite often they are walking in groups, seemingly groups of friends, but they are not talking to each other or even looking at each other, they are all staring at their phones. They will step out into traffic without raising their eyes from their phones, and it requires some skill not to hit them with my car, so it’s a good thing that most of the campus is pedestrianized. If I walk around the campus, I don’t hear any conversation … everyone is silently looking at their phones. This is so radically different from my own university experience 40 years ago that it seems bizarre to me.

        • Doug Langley

          It’s not that bad at my campus, but yeah it’s a real change from when I was in college.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          My niece and nephew (14 & 16) are like this, but I don’t see them very often. I have two others, a niece (9) and a nephew (14) and they share a tablet. When they come to visit, because my brother moved in with me, we have to take turns with the TV and the tablet. One gets to control the TV, the other gets the tablet and then they switch. My nephew tries to take the tablet into the bathroom with him, but that was banned because I have a 2 bd/1ba condo and with 4 people, you can’t hog the toilet.
          I turn off the TV when we are eating because they turn into zombies and will not eat their food.
          It is weird because they readily took to some house rules – put items on the grocery list on the fridge if you use the last of something – no food in the bedrooms – chores. But they balk at anything involving devices.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I briefly lived with a man who had partial custody of his 12-yr-old daughter, and she would spend alternate weekends with us in my house. What I could NOT get her to do at first was to turn off the lights when she left a room. Also, she would walk in the house, dump her backpack and shoes on the floor right next to the door, and leave them there. The idea of not wasting electricity and putting her stuff in her bedroom never occurred to her, and it apparently never occurred to her mother, either. By the time her father and I broke up, she had learned to do both things, but it was a struggle. I did not have cable, and the TV was only used to watch movies (on VHS), and the best thing I ever discovered was wireless headphones – she could watch her silly teenage movies and not bother us.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    That Scottish wild cat video brought both my cats to the desk to look for the strange cat that is apparently living in the computer monitor, and every time the mother meowed, they meowed back.

  • Hardly Ideal

    God, those outgoing GOP critters.

    “I say, there’s so much anger in politics now! I can’t even talk with my cocksucking commie Democratic colleagues without getting a primary threat from the batshit loons I call my constituents.”

  • Hardly Ideal

    In the final weeks of 2017, with a tax bill sailing toward passage and enough federal court judicial nominees pushed through to successfully reshape the judiciary, Republicans, in general, were moving toward a state of at least semi-acceptance of their unorthodox president. “The tendency was anti-alarmism among Republicans,” said Bill Kristol…

    Anti-alarmism in the faces of the Trump administration, huh?
    https://static01.nyt.com/images/2016/08/05/us/05onfire1_xp/05onfire1_xp-facebookJumbo.jpg

    • phoenix00

      Does that mean holding the clapper or trying to muffle the bell?

      Either way, you go deaf.

  • Bright Bart

    I do feel bad for republicans not knowing whose crazy ass to smooch on nowadays
    Don’t you?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Nope. Not at all. You break it, you buy it.

  • BJW

    So…bwahahahaha! Trump and Bannon are at each other’s throats? Maybe they can take each other down. What a pleasing thought for the beginning of 2018. Let it be so.

  • phoenix00

    > Maggie Hellvarmint.

    FTFY

Previous articleWhy Is This Man Smiling?
Next articleMore Legal Fuckery From That Fucker Paul Manafort: A Lawsplainer About His Bad Lawsuit That Sucks!