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This is not Robert Mueller’s DC grand jury. OR IS IT?

Were you wondering what kinds of new and different ways Trump-loving idiots and witnesses in the Trump-Russia affair might come up with to try to undermine Robert Mueller’s investigation? Well here’s one! Seems an anonymous witness in the probe walked into Mueller’s grand jury room and all of a sudden started looking around all nervous like because there were lots of black people in there. “Witness” told this to the Rupert Murdoch-owned New York Post:

“The grand jury room looks like a Bernie Sanders rally,” my source said. “Maybe they found these jurors in central casting, or at a Black Lives Matter rally in Berkeley [Calif.]”

Of the 20 jurors, 11 are African-Americans and two were wearing “peace T-shirts,” the witness said. “There was only one white male in the room, and he was a prosecutor.” Mueller was not present.

ONLY ONE WHITE MAN AND HE WASN’T ON THE JURY? Why is Robert Mueller doing a war on white men????? And people wearing “peace” t-shirts? What is this, HITLER’S IRAN?

Next question: Which witness is this talking anonymously? Because he or she is not very S-M-R-T. Regardless of who liked whom best in the Democratic primary, it’s a history fact that black folks, for the most part, were With Her, whereas Bernie rallies were KINDA white. (Yes, youngs of color, we know you went for Bernie 52-48, as opposed to your parents, who drowned you out one million to nine.) “Witness” might as well have said, “Gah, everybody is singing Toby Keith songs in here, what is this, SHABBAT DINNER?”

“Witness” also mentioned “central casting,” and you know who who talks about “central casting” a lot? Donald Trump. This leads us to believe “witness” is somebody VERY close to the president, maybe even in his family. Guess we’ll have to see when the newest indictments roll out!

This is not the first time we have heard this line of reasoning about Mueller’s DC grand jury. Attorney Alan Dershowitz, who for some reason is considered an “expert” commentator on Constitutional matters related to the Mueller probe, argued back in August that Mueller’s jury would be stacked against Trump because it’s in DC, which is full of [whispers] Democrats! And DC has a lot of black folks, as Dershowitz well knows, so it’s safe to say he meant to whisper that DC is full of B-L-A-C-K-S. Why didn’t Robert Mueller do a grand jury in Lubbock, where the white economic-anxiety-havers are, if he wanted to be fair? That is what Alan Dershowitz would like to know.

And now we have “witness” who went in front of the jury and counted on his/her fingers and toes and there were 11 blacks and no white guys and also probably the New Black Panthers were playing the Knockout Game while Beyoncé declared war on all the policemen, and now Iowa Rep. Steve King will have to start a Congressional investigation into “how many blacks is too many,” and now 2018 is ruined.

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  • IdiotsforPalin
    • BadKitty904

      ‘MERKKKA!!!

      • IdiotsforPalin

        Fuck Yeah!!!!!!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Not a full set of teeth or above room temp IQ among them.

      Sad.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        But combined

        • MynameisBlarney

          Nope.

      • John Thorstensen

        Well, terrible dental care, maldistributed wealth, bad nutrition, crappy education, and bone-ignorance sure do mix up into a blend of toxic stupidity sometimes.

    • JohnBull

      They aren’t working because the Muslims took the Piggly Wiggly checkout jobs.

    • jesuswasablack

      It’s really too bad the “girl” on the left couldn’t match the blues on her traitor flag top and bottoms, they really do clash!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Looks to me like someone washed her mostly-red top in hot water, and the color bled. Sad!

        • jesuswasablack

          Yep, those dam worshin instructions were written by some east coast elite

          • clubseal

            And they’re written in just words, no pitchers!

          • Arolpin

            I thought they were required to use pictographs on care labels now.

      • IdiotsforPalin

        She should not be allowed to wear spandex

        • Ωbjectifier

          Does this traitor flag make my ass look big?

          • jesuswasablack

            No but it does accentuate that GUNT!

      • FlownΩver

        Not to be all lookist or anything, but…

        Damn! Isn’t there something in the public nuisance laws about visual pollution?

        • arundel

          You can be as lookist as you want with this bunch, because their look is intentionally obnoxious. Sigh, this country is so degraded, no wonder I love old movies on TCM, where men wore fedoras and suits. I mean, look at these pigs. This is America now.

    • jesuswasablack

      Starter Gunts!

    • clubseal

      I’m thinking of making a flag with a picture of one of those bald racing tires that says “Don’t Put Tread On Me.”

    • jesuswasablack
    • Juan McCain

      I forget, what was the reason we couldn’t let The South™ secede?

      • Ωbjectifier

        Mardi Gras.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Because leaving them to govern themselves ends poorly?

        • theCryptofishist

          Hey, we freed the slaves. (And helped them to free theirselves.) We probably increased the net happiness in the world, even if putting up with these useless yahoos is like sand in our knickers, all the fucking time.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Well, technically it was because of the Constitution – you know, that long document that Republicans ignore.

        • Juan McCain

          Details, details… there has to be a work around.

      • A whole lot of enslaved black people

    • theCryptofishist

      No. Too many women.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And not a single one of them wearing a “grab me by the pussy” shirt.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Well, maybe. I’m not too sure what species that life form in the middle holding the gun belongs to.

        • theCryptofishist

          Not hairy enough for Bigfoot….

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Two? Or Three?

        • theCryptofishist

          He looks at “Or Three” and immediately starts having a bathroom related freak out. Definitely doesn’t want any ambiguous people on his jury.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Oh, I was just curious how many identify as women in this pic that’s all I meant.

    • goonemeritus

      I don’t want to appear overly judgmental but those are not conventionally attractive people.

    • CutterTeam

      I’ve always been amazed that these people think they’re “genetically superior” to anyone.

  • jesuswasablack

    “Maybe they found these jurors in central casting, or at a Black Lives Matter rally”
    White Genocide!
    https://qzprod.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/rtx1kusd.jpg?quality=80&strip=all&w=320

    • Blanche de Shambles

      God damn master race, right there.

  • Asterix

    I have a feeling 2018 is going to be twice as long as 2017.

    • puredog

      Whereas, in reality, it’s only about twenty days longer.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Beer can fix that.

  • JohnBull

    There can’t be more than a dozen black people in Steve King’s 40-county Iowa district, and yes, that’s way too many for him.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is taking place in Washington right? Which is a majority black town FFS?

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Like, bitch, we tried forced busing, but you wouldn’t let your kids go to school with The Blah. Now you are complaining that there are areas where there are more black people? 0_o O Rly?

  • Iron Monkey

    and now 2018 is ruined

    That was quick.

  • Michael Smith

    I mean Mueller is white, but obviously if we are trying to get Trump’s supporters to take up arms against the evil liberal insurgency, it is better to find out where the black people are and focus all of our rage on them.

  • puredog

    “. . .or at a Black Lives Matter rally in Berkeley [Calif.]”
    The New York Post, always with the helpful bracketed esplanadetions.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Wouldn’t want people to confuse it with the Berklee School of Music.

      • theCryptofishist

        Or the Berkeley Pit in Butte, Montana.

        • Arolpin

          Or Berkeley Breathed from Bloom County.

          • FlownΩver

            Or Burqa Li, the Asian designer of Muslim women’s garb.

    • jesuswasablack

      They know their audience, if the Berkley don’t set them off the (calif) will!

    • Eileen Besse

      Must be where Drumpf gets his “(D.C.)” crap….

  • BadKitty904
  • Gayer Than Thou

    Well, if he didn’t want to be indicted by an all-black grand jury in majority non-white Washington, D.C., he should have thought of that before he colluded with the Russians to become president.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      If he’d colluded with the Russians to become mayor of Whitefish, Montana, he’d be in the clear.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        And honestly? I probably wouldn’t be that worked up about it.

      • He can fuck up Whitefish all he wants.

  • La forza del resistino

    wait until he hears a judge named Curiel will be presiding.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Like, fuck. Every fucking time I think we’ve hit peak stereotypical cracker? Not so much.

    Fucking NYP, fucking trumptards

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Does the Grand Jury subpoena actually say “witness” or “suspect” on it?

    • weejee

      sez “witless” on it.

  • weejee
  • La forza del resistino

    I guess his lawyer could request a change of venue to West Palm Beach, FL as close to Mar-a-lago as possible.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      If he wants a jury of his peers, I suggest Dante’s fourth circle would be the only appropriate venue.

    • Shan

      Citizen residents there hate him.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Hay i was gonna say that 1st

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Ah but then he might run the risk of Puerto Ricans moving there.

    • Major^3 Andre

      Lotsa globalists around those parts, he might not like that either. If he can’t get it moved to Cousinfuck, Arkansas pronounce it ARE-CAN-ZUS he is gonna have trouble finding a jury he will approve of.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Well, if nothing else, we all have canine hearing now.

    • John Thorstensen

      Woof!

    • Michael Smith

      Ugh, I know. The problem is, now I turn on the TV and I keep getting disgusted because shows like “I Hate Black People: SVU” are on.

  • Poly_Ester

    Kellyanne had to testify?

  • John Thorstensen

    You can skip to 0:50 if you want to:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjnn6GAJqpw

  • BigCSouthside

    Steven Miller is “witness”. Gotta be. Race obsessed, smug, uses trump’s phrases

    • Poly_Ester

      Write trump’s phrases.

    • theCryptofishist

      You know, there’s probably a small group of people somewhere, who track where he is. If those people say he was in D. C….

    • Iron Monkey

      Also dumb as a rock.

  • Iron Monkey

    Don’t commit crimes in Washington, D.C. if you don’t want to be tried/indicted there.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I would like my trial to be moved to Aryan Nation, ID on account of it’s the only place to get a “fair” trial.

      • Iron Monkey

        ISWYDT

  • BadKitty904
  • WotsAllThisThen

    I’m confused. I thought Berkeley was mostly white and Asian.

    • OrG

      But… LIBERAL!!!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And maybe edumacated

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Hell, I thought the Antifa burned Berkeley to smoldering ruins.

      • Seek

        They got better

  • OrG

    More shit that will not stick.

  • Gorillionaire

    It’s nine degrees outside, but I am totes wearing my peace t-shirt to the jury room today cuz that absolutely makes sense.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Without a bra, I hope!
      OK. That was sucky of me…

  • Wait, they reunited the cast of In Living Color as a jury? That sounds awesome. Oh, you didn’t mean that literally?

    • msanthropesmr

      As long as the fly girls are in, and Jim Carrey is out, I’m OK with that.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Remember, the Fly Girls gave us Jennifer Lopez.

        • FlownΩver

          But Jim Carrey gave us… [all together now]

          The Cable Guy!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            You know I don’t think I have ever seen that one, or me myself and Irene.

          • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

            skip cable guy–but irene is hilarious-ly demented

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Thanks, I will have to check it out. I did like The Trueman show and Liar, Liar.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      The Fly Girls stand in judgement of your poppin’ dance moves, and have found them lacking.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    This same person will no doubt claim that he’s totally not a racist and doesn’t even see skin color. Just accidentally noticed it in this case.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And counted each POC…

  • msanthropesmr

    Excellent!

    • BadKitty904

      (OT: I’ll ask once more, then shut up about it – how’s the lil’ Beanster?)

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    The Trump crime syndicate has a jury of their peers?

    The Trumpers are not worthy to shine the shoes of those jurors.

  • OrG

    Sounds like a LEAK to me.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    So if there were 9 non-African American jurors in the room, and none of them was a white male, then what were they? Female? Asian? Romulans? He doesn’t say. I bet if he’d walked into the room and seen 20 white male jurors, he wouldn’t have thought a thing about it or that it was worth mentioning.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, that’s given. That’s white privilege in a nutshell.

    • Crystalclear12

      If it’s Vulcans then he’s in trouble.

      • amrak63

        How about they’re all clones of Rod Serling?

        Despite their all being white and male, the Trump Crime Family might be better off with a bunch of ni*CLANG*s.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      This is stipulated. He’s uncomfortable in any situation where there aren’t 2-3 white males present.

  • BadKitty904
  • jesuswasablack

    OT, it seems Roy Moore’s Jooooo wasn’t really his Joooooo after all, sad?

    http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/roy-moores-jewish-lawyer-is-a-friend-of-doug-jones/article/2644738

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Maybe there was another joooo lawyer.

  • Marceline

    “The grand jury room looks like a Bernie Sanders rally,” my source said.”

    Eleven black people seems kind of high for a Sanders rally.

    • BadKitty904

      Well spotted.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Is anything too high for a Sanders rally?

      I’ll see myself out.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Eh…

    DC is pretty chocolate, but as of late, it has been getting diluted in recent years due to influx of rich white people who can actually afford the real estate here, and the exodus of poor minority communities to Maryland counties because of said real estate market (read: gentrification).

  • susan_g

    I have found black jurists to be completely fair. — O.J. Simpson

  • Victoria Ricola

    Hahaha GOOD!

  • goonemeritus

    It is high time for all white males to make peace with the fact that one day we will all be judged by juries that are 100% minority.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Mostly because we always make shit up to get out of jury duty.

      • goonemeritus

        But I had two funerals to attend and I was donating a kidney that week.

    • In that eventuality the cops may have to stop shooting them for having a mean expression on their face.

  • Poly_Ester

    Its a “Grand Jury” not a trial jury, it doesn’t convict anyone of anything. It decides if there is enough evidence to go to trial. Not that your average or even exceptional trumpista would understand the difference.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Hell, I forget that shit sometimes.

  • WilbyToad

    Sarah Sanders says Trump’s tweets are the best way to get ‘exact information’ to Americans

    White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders claimed Twitter was more effective than press conferences, because the social media company allows President Donald Trump to “give exact information” about his feelings.

    by BOB BRIGHAM / RAWSTORY
    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/sarah-sanders-says-trumps-tweets-are-the-best-way-to-get-exact-information-to-americans/

    And is there anything more important to the world than Donald’s feelings?

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Plus there’s less likelihood of him throwing his poop at a reporter through Twitter.

    • Michael Smith

      And she thinks that’s a good thing?

    • cmd resistor

      She really has to be kidding.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I feel like the Mooch would at least recognize that the President tweets while pooping.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Mooch would tell us the President can tweet and suck his own cock at the same time.

      • Lambsendbeds

        So, that’s “Twooping”?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Taking a giant twit.

      • shitter twitter

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      To paraphrase Zaphod Beeblebrox, if there’s something around more important the Donald “the Gonad” Trump’s feelings, he will have it taking out and shot.

    • BigCSouthside

      God fuckin dammit pressers aren’t for him to get his message out they are for us to ask questions

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      So she is admitting she is useless?

    • BearsEarsDeLaOursistance

      On the upside, it’s self-archiving 25th Amendment material.

  • Bureaucrap

    And all the members of the grand jury had calves the size of canteloupes.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    I’m shocked Mr. X didn’t mention seeing them snack on fried chicken and iced tea while listening to testimony.

    • OrG

      And Skittles. Wearing hoodies.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Thems stand-your-ground words son. Now turn around and let me shoot you in the back like a real tough guy hero.

      • amrak63

        How do they make hoodies small enough for Skittles to wear them?

    • theCryptofishist

      You forgot the watermelon…

    • amrak63

      I, an ofay honky mofo, love fried chicken and iced tea!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Hm, a Black Lives Matter rally in Berkeley? Is that meant to indicate that the only white person in the room also had dreads?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And was playing hacky sack.

      • OutOfOrbit

        me tried hacky sack kicked self in nuts & pulled a muscle

      • John Thorstensen

        ” … and would rather play hackey sack than lock up the homeless.” – Birch Barlow

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RkH4fIEH4E

    • theCryptofishist

      Yeah, it would have been so much more reality-based if that rally were in Oakland. Of course, Berkeley has been a trigger word for the right for 50 years, and you can expect them to be lazy…

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Couldn’t they just say “California”? It encompasses pretty much everything they hate: Hollywood (Jews!), LA (Jews and Messicans!), and the Bay Area (creativity, more brown people?, GAYS, marijuana).

        • John Thorstensen

          San Francisco values!!

          • theCryptofishist

            Latte Lie-Bralls, because coffee is meant to be rot-gut robusta perked to utter tar and rewarmed in a microwave.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Intellectuals (Silicon Valley) and rich people who actually vote responsibly.

          • theCryptofishist

            No, too many fucking libertarians in Silicon Valley. Some, I assume, are good people. And they are kids, completely in a bubble.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I remember being a kid and thinking we could change the world. (Into a better place for everyone in case that wasn’t clear.)

        • Seek

          The Land of Fruits and Nuts.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I thought that was Florida.

          • Seek

            This was actually an insult back in the day – “Oh you’re from California? Ha Ha the land of fruits and Nuts!” I found it very confusing but my grandmother informed me it was a play on the Dust bowl claim that we were the land of milk and honey which brought all of the Okies. As a 3rd Generation CA, in the 30’s she and my grandfather had quite a lot of disdain for all of these newcomers. I spent my childhood watching the Rose Parade and listening to my Grandfather complain that now there would be another 50,000 people moving here from what ever midwest place was playing.

            Also, FL is the land of Meth and Opioid addiction. Fruits and Nuts don’t create that much havoc.

    • Roadstergal

      I would be surprised to see a BLM rally in Berkeley. It’s all gone downhill. These days, it’s all affluent hippies paying $20 for a crystal bottle of Raw Water.

    • Lambsendbeds

      So you’ve been to the Berkeley Farmer’s Market?

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Actually, the most time I have ever spent in Berkeley was at a graduation ceremony for the school of computer science.

        • theCryptofishist

          They hold those on line, now.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I wish they had then. That was 5 hours of my life I will never get back.

          • theCryptofishist

            You understand, that even though I don’t live there anymore, I love it dearly, although, it’s going to hell now. Fucking gentrification and the loss of book and record stores. Maybe I had a skewed reality.

            And I made up the bit about on-line. Maybe you figured that and played me, but I love making shit up, but don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by feeding them false information.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Oh, I knew you were kidding. ;)

          • theCryptofishist

            So, point yours, for turning it back on me so adeptly.

        • Lambsendbeds

          I live in Oakland, but occasionally go to the Berkeley Farmer’s Market. I’ve never seen so many white people dreads in one place anywhere else in the Bay Area.

          • proudgrampa

            Farms? In Berkeley? Moooo!

          • theCryptofishist

            It makes me so happy to see you and Lambsendbeds “representing” for my home town. And making it funny also, too.

          • H0mer0

            I remember that–from childhood (although someone called a friend’s sorority asking for the phone number of the Cow Palace so she gave them the number for Phi Mu.)

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Jarring, isn’t it? I dates a guy (gorgeous, exotic, 5/5 would fuck again) who was Indian by way of Kenya, and he tried to dread his hair. It was tragic, because they just weren’t proper dreads at all. If your hair isn’t prone to dreading, and you aren’t willing to put the time into making it work, it’s all wrong.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      And a tie dye

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    But…I thought the Truculent One loved him some poors and uneducateds? Is witness implying something about himself and the Mango Menace as rascists maybe could be possibly?

  • Blackest Noobs

    in other disgusting news, Paris Hilton got a 2 million dollar engagement ring.

    two.million.fucking.dollars. for a fucking ring.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I’ve never fucked a ring before but if anyone can do it, probably Paris.

      • Yellerduck

        Make sure you size it right. The nurse in the ER never believes the “I fell on it” line.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Well if you saw the episode of South Park… I believe it was a pineapple.

    • CripesAmighty

      Tax-free! That’ll buy a buncha corn likker in Bumblefuck, Ky. MAGA!

      • amrak63

        You misspelled “Cousinfuck”.

        • CripesAmighty

          That one’s two clicks down the holler past the poo shack on the right and behind the red Massey Ferguson on cinder blocks.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      It’s just her first marriage. In the next few marriages she’ll get cheaper and cheaper rings, so it will kind of average out to Trump level gauche, not Mnuchin level.

      • Blackest Noobs

        but who the fuck thinks, yeah, 2 million dollars for a ring…a fucking ring is a good price….i mean seriously….something bad should happen to people like this….

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          That is foreign to me too. “2 million for a ring? Fuck yeah, Paris Hilton is worth it.” I hate rooting for bad stuff to happen to people but, yeah, me too.

          • theCryptofishist

            Keep in mind that it’s not really worth that, it’s just the De Beers’ constant advertising that make a pretty stone into a millstone hung around the neck of the guy making the proposal.

        • amrak63

          I can only support that if by “bad thing” you mean “tax the living shit outta them”.

          • Blackest Noobs

            maybe but not really…i mean Trading Places bad things ( they weren’t killed)

    • Yellerduck

      For a fucking hotel.

      • Blackest Noobs

        hmmm hotel where you fuck

        • amrak63

          They call them “love hotels” in the Land of the Rising Sun.

          • theCryptofishist

            “No Tell Hotel” in the states.

          • Blackest Noobs

            i called them hotels cuz isn’t that what everyone else does?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I love how “central casting” has become a racial dog whistle.

    • theCryptofishist

      Because Hollywood doesn’t bother putting whited people in movies anymore>

  • Poly_Ester

    Federal grand juries start with 23 jurors and need a quorum to meet, 16 if I remember correctly. So this grand juror was less than 50% minority. Upstanding white people often find a dodge like bone spurs.

  • AJ Milne

    Me, I’d be more worried that the one white guy is Jim Carrey.

    That boy ain’t right.

  • CripesAmighty

    Wellll, we’re not even gonna bother pretending anymore, it’s just too much like work.

  • Roadstergal

    “The grand jury room looks like a Bernie Sanders rally,”

    Ha, I had the same thought as Evan – so it was filled with white guys?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And white wimminz

      • amrak63

        Where da white wimminz at?

    • MynameisBlarney

      No, it was filled with rooshan bots.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      They are not very good at this. But trumpencezees only know other. (As in not us.)

    • Th’ottest curry in th’ouse

      Bernie Mac rally maybe?

      • H0mer0

        [RIP]

  • Ducksworthy

    So that pic is of a car full of Bernie Bros? OK then.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I also need to point out that I want to revisit the style of the cast of In Living Color (minus Carey) because OMG.

  • BadKitty904
  • Crystalclear12

    Ironically, this is what tone deaf sounds like.

  • Major^3 Andre

    JFC, didn’t witness get the memo:
    Instead of blacks, they are “Urban”, jews are “globalists”, women are….fuck me, it’s Trumperica, lucky he didn’t pronounce black with two gs.

    • Roadstergal

      *clang*

      • WotsAllThisThen

        I think he said the jury is near.

  • Rick Hill

    Gosh. Another team trump defense by undermining every one who isn’t donald….Who’d have thought?

  • Marceline

    I kind of like how given that black voters are asserting our electoral power we are preemptively being given the credit/blame for grand jury indictments. To which I respond…

    “WAKANDA FOREVER, MOTHAFUCKER!”

  • PlutoAnimus

    To rich white people, blacks can never be their ‘peers’, as in ‘jury of’.

    • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

      shouldn’t a jury of Trump’s peers be residents of Trump Tower and at least 2 of them have Russian accents?

      • Roadstergal

        “Peers,” not “puppeteers.”

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          NO PEERS! NO PEERS! YOU’RE THE MUPPET!

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Peers, not peeers.

        • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

          of course they would all be male.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    this is Texas State Senator Charles Perry (R – NO RELATION) and his family making a Lubbock gang sign and, yes, the kids got it backwards.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a9ded7e09d8e8af8eb57b8ca6f051fc55c2b52ca577449eea138c932c10c7ffb.png

    Perry is now known as the author of SB4–the sanctuary cities ban that still does not say what a fucking sanctuary city is that got all “papers please” when the Schaefer Amendment was added in the House. during the Senate floor debate when he was being asked about racial profiling by a not-Republican he actually said that he might be mistaken for being Hispanic. nice job, Carlos!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Pew, pew, pew, pew.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Right? I think they’re doing finger guns. Badly.

    • Bigby

      That is a Confederate statue and they were all a) identifying with him, as b) “L”osers.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Or themselves by extension.

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        that’s actually Will Rogers and his trusty steed Soapsuds. I shit you not.

        • theCryptofishist

          Soapsuds. That poor horse is sitting in Equine Heaven and crying because he wasn’t stuffed.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            true story: the statue is situated so Soapsuds’ butt is pointing toward College Station, TX where the flagship for TX A&M is.

          • theCryptofishist

            Are they still building those stupid bonfires?

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            maybe…

    • theCryptofishist

      Any relation to Rick? Or are there multiple families of stupid Perrys running around Texas, twisting the political system to no good end?

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        you see the “NO RELATION”?

        • theCryptofishist

          No. Sorry. You’re way ahead of me.
          On the other hand, just how many Perrys are running around stupiding up the state?

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            there’s a Chris Perri running for the Dem nomination to be my congresscritter.

          • theCryptofishist

            Does he have your endorsement? (Are you allowed to do that?)

      • He’s related to Rick Perry in having about eight synapses, six of which are needed for breathing.

    • Timothy Watson

      L for loser?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Sanctuary cities are like pornography — they don’t have to define it, they just have to hide it from the kids.

    • Anne Of Green Bagels

      the closest border to Lubbock is the New Mexico state line. they seem nice.

    • The Librarian

      California became a sanctuary state yesterday, for reals. Sen. Perry might want to read up on that.

    • Red Bird

      sign language for the letter “t”?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Every so often, a rich asshole steps into a room and sees something that takes his breath away — the other America, with the power to hand down an indictment. It warms what’s left of my little cinder of a heart.

    • CripesAmighty

      Every so often, a rich asshole steps into a room…

      And the murders began.

      • Naytch

        Dame Agatha Christie made bank on that very premise.

  • WilbyToad
    • proudgrampa

      *sizzle*

      Burn!!!!!

    • SayItWithWookies

      And the Amtrak crash last month. And let’s not forget highway deaths.

      • Snowbound Ron

        Overdoses. Heck, he ‘fixed’ health care, so hospital deaths too.

    • 3FingerPete

      What has he done that is considered being tough on commercial aviation other than create delays whenever he flies to Mar-A-Lago?

      • Bobathonic

        He saw that there was something good, so took credit. Next he’ll push to privatize the FAA.

        • 3FingerPete

          Leave it to the Invisible Hand. If enough people die on a particular airline the Free Market says people will stop flying on that airline.

          • Frances

            Go-o-gle is paying 97$ per hour,with week-l-y payouts.You can a-l-so avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from hav-i-ng earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have e-v-er done .. It s-o-unds un-b-elievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !gj303d:
            >>>>> http://GoogleOnlineWayEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs AGHGYAYAYALLAYAYAYZAAAYAYAYAYAGTTAEWDDGBAYASSYAYAYAYA:::::!gj303lhu

    • BMW

      I havent seen Trump have a twitter feud with an astronaut yet, so this could be something new.

    • His wife is Gabrielle Gifford, correct?

      • Jukesgrrl

        Yes. Commander Kelly is married to Gabby Giffords, His twin, Scott Kelly, is the astronaut who recently spent a year in space.

  • Machnethylsteinerbincolabird

    LOL joke’s on you, “Anonymous Witness”, if that is your real name… I happen to know BLM doesn’t even like the Bern that much… I know this because they took over the stage and interrupted his speech that one time.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Roy Moore’s “Jew” Lawyer Says:

    “There could not be a more passionate supporter of Doug than me!” Jaffe said.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Get a room.

  • proudgrampa

    “Some of my best jurors are black.”

  • Rasilom

    As a pasty white boy may I say that “witness” is more cracker than a cargo ship full of saltines.

  • Kryptonian Canis

    Ok let me guess, the anonymous “witness” is John Barron.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    If Witness wants a fair trial for Dolt, he’ll have to buy the jury just like all the other rich, white, male criminals.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    Those People will kick Herr Yam’s butt.

    well, at least there weren’t any bridges to burn to begin with.

  • Ron Spangler

    The paragraph about black vote in the democratic primaries seems gratuitous, especially for a blog (which I $upport, btw) that preaches getting over that Bernie bros vs. Hillary shit. If we’re going to get over it, let’s get over it, mkay?

    • Marceline

      If they didn’t include that the non-comments would fill up with “Well actually…” from Berners shitposting some poorly done poll calling him the most popular politician of all time.

      • John Thorstensen

        I am actually the Berenstain Bears Professor Actual Factual, minus the ursine features, hat, and corduroy sports coat. Actually.

        • Red Bird

          Pooty poot lips.

  • WilbyToad

    Bernie Sanders says US should be more like Iceland

    Bernie Sanders is calling on the United States to be more like Iceland and legally enforce equal pay for men and women, he said on Tuesday.

    “We must follow the example of our brothers and sisters in Iceland and demand equal pay for equal work now, regardless of gender, ethnicity, sexuality or nationality. As we fight back Republican efforts to revert women’s rights to second-class, it is important to not lose sight that our real goal is to move forward and expand women’s rights,” the independent senator from Vermont wrote in a Facebook post.

    by Melina Delkic / NEWSWEEK
    https://www.rawstory.com/2018/01/bernie-sanders-says-us-should-be-more-like-iceland/

    I agree with this, and it could spare Iceland from all of us moving there.

    • theCryptofishist

      According to my sister (who was there this year) you don’t have to tip the servers, because servers earn a living wage. I’m all for that, also, too.
      But Bernie Sanders, ugh. Also, we got to find someone else to push it, because Bern’s the kiss of death…
      IMHO. And I voted for him. In the primary. So, it’s not that I think

      Vuck. Remind me never to reference Bernie Sanders in another post.

      • Lord Jim

        I guess it’s a good thing that he’s a bear about economic equality, but his refusal to give proper consideration to race issues (like back folks being cop-murdered or pushed into poor schools) or gender issues (rape culture, for example) is not a good thing. Even worse, young Democratic politicians and candidates, looking at Bernie’s thorough trouncing in the primaries and not learning a thing from it, have caught the disease.

    • BMW

      What a weird-ass headline. Their takeaway isn’t him demanding better enforcement or equal pay laws, but WHOA WTF BERNIE HATES AMERICA.

      • Jimh

        Whoa if true!

    • Well, with the weather the way it’s been these days, we’ve got the “ice” part taken care of.

      • Covfefe

        Be way easier to warm Iceland up to American temperatures than the other way around. That, at least, is The Global Warming Agenda.

  • Marceline
    • John Thorstensen

      Where’s this from?

      • Roadstergal

        My sweet dreams?

      • Marceline

        Alvin Ailey Dance Theater.

        • John Thorstensen

          It’s beautiful!

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I knew it I saw them a few years ago, and they are fabulous

          • Marceline

            I get tickets every time they come to town on tour. I’ve probably seen them do “Revelations” six or seven times by now and it never fails to leave me breathless.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I agree they were amazing. I keep my program so I know which
            Troops I’ve seen. I love dance.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I knew it!!!!

      • PeedeResistance

        ‘Sinner Man,’ the male trio from ‘Revelations,’ Ailey’s signature piece

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      AAAAAAAH! The guy on the right has a gun in his waistband! Though, I must say, this picture kind of put a gun in MY pants if you know what I mean.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        It’s a good thing no cops were around to shoot him because I’m pretty sure that’s the shadow of the hand of the middle dancer!

    • Bobathonic

      Faaaaaaabulous!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Bet I know who that witness is.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPIpdYl-98U

  • chazmanr

    Attorney Alan Dershowitz, who for some reason is considered an “expert” commentator on Constitutional matters related to the Mueller probe

    Because a long, long, time ago in a nation quickly becoming a memory, Alan Dershowitz did some pretty spectacular legal work for people considered indefensible. That Alan Dershowitz died some time in the early 80s.

  • onedollarjuana

    So, they’re admitting that every all-white jury that convicted a black defendant was unfair?

    • Bebecca

      Of course not, that doesn’t make sense…to republicans.

  • Opalescent Riddles

    Also too I totally wouldn’t be surprised if one of the grand jurors is:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/db6327cca1af732b0654b549767f0ad6613ddf9e2332c05095757ee7e6929d4e.gif
    (what she said)

  • Doug Langley

    What next? Witness goes to Supreme Court and discovers the Chief Justice is Diana Ross?

  • theCryptofishist

    Just want to say that you people are a hell of a lot of fun.

  • JD Mulvey

    Imagine the look on the faces of those two jurors when they both showed up in their peace-sign t-shirts on the same day!

    Serious Grand Jury faux pas.

    • TundraGrifter

      Who wore it better?

    • Arolpin

      One of my employees just finished his Grand Jury stint. He said that you end up spending a LOT of time with your fellow jurors, and if it’s a good group, you get close. I think it’s not unlikely that they coordinated their shirts.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Wait until they show up with matching Wonkette T-shirts! INSTANT IMMOLATION! it’s the only way!

  • Bobathonic

    Maybe the witless witness can explain the role of a Grand Jury in the process, and where things proceed from there. Does witless think the Grand Jury sits and loads people into tumbrels, for them to never be seen again?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      A girl can dream!

  • JaveyDay

    Anonymous W(h)it(e)ness

    • Snowbound Ron

      They DO all look alike to me.

      • JaveyDay

        I resemble that remark.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        That’s why I dye my hair pink sometimes.

  • House0fTheBlueLights
    • clairence

      aytch oh tee

  • bbayliss

    The idea that the “dossier” played a major role in FISA warrants is nonsense.
    “Britain’s spy agencies played a crucial role in alerting their counterparts in Washington to contacts between members of Donald Trump’s campaign team and Russian intelligence operatives, the Guardian has been told.

    GCHQ first became aware in late 2015 of suspicious “interactions” between figures connected to Trump and known or suspected Russian agents, a source close to UK intelligence said. This intelligence was passed to the US as part of a routine exchange of information, they added.

    Over the next six months, until summer 2016, a number of western agencies shared further information on contacts between Trump’s inner circle and Russians, sources said.

    The European countries that passed on electronic intelligence – known as sigint – included Germany, Estonia and Poland. Australia, a member of the “Five Eyes” spying alliance that also includes the US, UK, Canada and New Zealand, also relayed material, one source said.

    Another source suggested the Dutch and the French spy agency, the General Directorate for External Security or DGSE, were contributors.”
    https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/13/british-spies-first-to-spot-trump-team-links-russia?CMP=share_btn_tw

    • TundraGrifter

      Then there’s the mysterious Trump Tower server that pinged a Russian bank once or twice a day for a minute. Remember that?

      • bbayliss

        Don’t forget DeVos.

        • TundraGrifter

          Are we not men?

  • Ryan Denniston

    Could be worse. Could be the one white man was an aid to Trump.

    • TundraGrifter

      ISWYDT

  • Red Bird

    So the “witness” now understands how the average black and brown defendant in America feels.

  • CafeenMan

    “Is 2018 over yet?”

    No, but it’s almost Christmas again already.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Luckily, we’re still in the holiday season, so drinking still goes unmentioned.

      • clairence

        it’s always holiday season of some sort or another.

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    You White Privilegers should have kept your Economic Anxiety™ in the fridge!

    Looks like it went bad. Now it’s just completely racist.

    • RickyG

      And smells like ass! :(

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    It’s too bad that as best I can tell–apparently at Rupert Murdoch’s request?—-BBC has blocked the Stephen Fry/Hugh Laurie spoof of It’s A Wonderful Life, “A Bit Of Fry And Laurie: If Rupert Murdoch Hadn’t Been Born.”

    If anyone knows how to retrieve it and link it, please share, and thank you. It is kind of hilarious, focusing on, among other things, ol’ Rupe’s abiding nasty racist core, the chief characteristic common denominator of his entire news empire, not just Fox and the the NY Post.

  • MOG253

    Well, the first day was okay, but now 2018 has tanked.

    • Bebecca

      Yeah, no football and back to work!

  • AmusedAmused

    The “witness” may also be, you know, lying. Wouldn’t shock me.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I suspect that it’s not entirely true. The Peace t-shirts seem a bit OTT.

  • TootsStansbury

    I would implore to the Republicans to please step away from the precipice before it’s too late but they goose stepped right over that fucker; there’s no going back now. Down is the only direction they know.

    • Stinky_Hole

      Why am I hearing Fred Schneider in ‘Rock Lobster’ now?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Why can’t they have this in Wheeling, West Virginia or Whitefish, Montana? Not fair!

    • Snowbound Ron

      ‘I want the grand jury empaneled in Whitefish!’
      ‘Very good, Mr President. What would you like its verdict to be?’

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • bumfug

    The witness is totally trustworthy, a man as honest as the day is long. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stand the one, the only, John Barron!

  • andyshelt

    Slightly OT but couldn’t resist this additional final piece of schadenfreude from the Roy Moore shitshow of a campaign when the Jewish lawyer who once worked for Moore and who was presented as evidence that Moore was not anti-semitic revealed that he actually voted for Doug Jones.
    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/roy-moore-lawyer-jewish-doug-jones-voter-supporter-a8138911.html

  • thepoliticalcat

    So relieved *I* didn’t have to point out that the only Black folks at a Bernie rally would be Cornel West, Nina Turner, &, if he begged, maybe Simone Sanders.

  • Jenny
    • Me not sure

      …and they’re blah! BLIPPIES!

  • Me not sure

    So one can just mosey into a grand jury room fer a good look-see and a smoke? Who knew?

  • bluicebank

    “The grand jury room looks like a Bernie Sanders rally,” …

    It never ceases to amaze me just how much stupid a white Republican can pack into a sentence. It’s like they’re trolling. Not that the above wins any awards for stupidity, because I’ve seen sentences that had more stupid than words. Which, I suppose, makes this one a special case of stupid.

    The “witness” needs to enter the Republican Special Olympics for Stupid, because he (it’s always a he), can’t even fuck up a statement like the big dogs.

  • rumsey

    Two of the black jurors (men or women?) were wearing “peace t-shirts.”
    What vintage store in D.C. carries peace t-shirts?
    What, exactly, does a peace t-shirt look like in 2018? In the middle of winter?
    This sounds like a jury that was impaneled back in 1967 and has come back from a long, long sequestration.
    Only maybe blacks and women didn’t make it on too many juries back then.

    • Courser_Resistance

      He was expecting 12 Angry Men maybe?

  • Paperless Tiger

    Your Honor, these crooks is innocent!

  • Mike Minden

    Trump just wants a jury of his peers: Nunes (made a fortune off of nuts), Bachmann (talks to gawd), Moore (molester of young girls), etc.

  • CW

    Y’all don’t know what it’s like
    Being male, middle-class and white
    – Ben Folds

    • JustDon’tSayHolidays

      While a producer with computers
      Fixes all my shitty tracks…

  • joe

    Being a watcher from overseas, I don’t understand the fuss over Trump. So he had a boys talk in THE bus, so what? Was President Clinton any better? not only did he do the talk, he actually DID it. So you people in the U.S.A. think Mrs Clinton would be better, REALLY?

    • thixotropic jerk

      Get the concept: Clinton had consent
      Trump = rapist
      There, is that the kind of clarity a watcher from overseas can unnerstan????

      • joe

        Has he been PROVEN a rapist?

        • thixotropic jerk

          OMG!!!! Nope not yet!!! But when he talks about sexually assaulting women REPEATEDLY with IMPUNITY, including an ex-wife who accused him of rape and then MAGICALLY changed her mind (wonder why? Most curious) well then, huh????? Think his accusers might actually have something???? No, you don’t because for some unfuckingfathomable reason you and other derplayers like you keep disingenuously conflating DER TRUMPER with Hillary. STOP. THAT. BULLSHIT. NOW. It ain’t cute it’s really fucking dumb and you look really really fucking dumb doing it.

          • joe

            My last reply to you, I refuse to converse with someone who needs their mouth washed with soap.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Grow up.

          • Stinky_Hole

            Numpty.

          • thixotropic jerk

            Really sad to hear it make sure your flounce doesn’t hit you on the way out. You might want to take some of that soap and use it to wash your sexist “bothsiderism” infuckted brain out. SO SORRY I AM SO RUDE TO RAPE APOLOGISTS WHO COMPARE SHTRUMP TO HILLARY AND SAY “MEH” WHAT’S THE DIFF??? EXCEPT NOT SORRY K THX BAI!!!

        • Stinky_Hole

          First he has to be charged, then tried. I’m happy to start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start.

        • ChumpsForTrump

          Have you been PROVEN an ignorant low-percentile Trumpkin? Shown beyond a reasonable doubt to leave behind gooey MAGA socks wherever you are alone?

          • thixotropic jerk

            Careful Chumpy, Joe has fee fees that get easily hurted by meanie meanie catch a weenie things like what you said.

          • joe

            My my, did I hit a nerve, yes the truth is hard to swallow

          • Delu

            Neither was Bill Clinton, but hey, never stopped you guys.

    • Stinky_Hole

      Better? Yes. Reeeeeaaaalllllyyyy, reeeaaalllllyyy better.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Absolutely.

    • Spurning Beer

      What part of overseas are you from, Joe? One of the smart parts?

      • joe

        From what I have read about Mrs Clinton, she should be sitting in Jail, BUT the loyal “Democrats” as they are called can not see that.

        • thixotropic jerk

          What are you reading? True Trump Dicktective Comix?

        • Spurning Beer

          You have been reading stupid things, Joe. That is what people write who are racists, Nazis, xenophobes, antisemites, liars and thieves.

          • Tishalicious

            Joe seems to be okay with this: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5f75c2642d49a7d3d921963db7bffabff954fc50b5a0cd89ceaf1e789ffa8040.jpg

            I am equally okay with denying the troll any more snacks.

          • Spurning Beer

            Thanks for the intel, Tish. Yes, Joe can sit in his own Vegemite.

          • joe

            Is there any part of that statement that is incorrect?

          • thixotropic jerk

            Yeah the all of it racist part

          • Delu

            The part about “whitey” bringing civilization.

            The first people originated in Africa, and going by how things go, they most certainly were NOT white.

            Some of the earliest civilizations, like the Indus Civilization in India, were almost certainly started by people who were NOT WHITE.

            And no, don’t talk about Adam and Eve, they are in the book of alternative facts.

          • joe

            So your previous President has been shown to be a “Gay Muslim” born in Kenya NOT in Hawaii, So that was okay, President Clinton was a womaniser, and that was okay, why? is it because they are “Democrats” considering the sins of the previous Presidents, Trump comes out looking pretty good.

          • Spurning Beer

            You are one funny guy, Joe.

            Sorry about your brain cancer, by the way.

          • joe

            Always happy to put a smile on people’s faces.

          • joe

            Thank you for your concern, I am lucky to be here, I also upset a lot of people because I say it how I see it, this results from being a Cancer survivor, It has changed my outlook on life.

          • thixotropic jerk

            That sucks that you had cancer but you beat it so good for you. Too bad you’re a racist, sexist, misogynist asshole though. Maybe work on healing that unhealthy part of you next?

          • Spurning Beer

            Interesting thing, Joe: your pal Donald is not much of an advocate for medical care or medical research.

          • Delu

            Not for the better apparently.

            You have Obama to thank for your life if not your outlook on it.

          • I am a cancer survivor too, but somehow I didn’t change into an ignorant dingus.

          • phoenix00

            You survived being born under Cancer? Participation medal for you!

          • LadyLaz

            The cancer treatment fried your brain if you think Obama was a gay Muslim born in Kenya. I mean, that gay Muslim exemplified more Christian values in his private life than Trump has. O was a faithfully married to one woman, devoted to his children, regularly attended church and told a remarkably low level of whoppers for a politician.

            Trump is a serial cheater, married three times, and treats one of his kids like she’s trash (poor Tiff), never attended church, and his lips are moving.

            Maybe you need to read the Bible more “Christian.” There is a lot more in there than “hate gays.”

          • thixotropic jerk

            Considering that dingos have more sense in their assholes than you’ve ever had in your entire life I’d say that no, ShiTrumpy comes out looking like he always has: A Big Fat Stupid Fucking Idiot.

          • Mack N. Nietzsche

            So what did you do? Find a 2012 Republican playbook? So sad.

          • joe

            You forgot “Democrats”

          • Delu

            Hillary Hate is bipartisan just like regular hate!

            Who knew!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I wish I could upfist this more than once.

        • MAZS

          Geezus, you really are a Russian troll, aren’t you.

  • Slinger

    If you read through his past posts and the sites he’s posted them, “Joe” says he’s in Australia and a conservative (Evangelical?) Christian.

    • joe

      And proud of it, pity you did not use all that zeal and effort to come up with some constructive dialogue.

      • Slinger

        Didn’t realize you’d be perched here just waiting to see what was being said about you.

        • joe

          I have achieved my goal, getting all the Trump haters ( “Democrats”) In a tizzy Ha Ha.

          • thixotropic jerk

            So much tizzy

          • Pisto75666

            “Obama was a Kenyan Muslim”
            “Hilary was a terrible candidate/should be in jail”

            I got all my squares in old Wonkette Troll Bingo……..do I win anything this time?

          • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

            no

          • Slinger

            Yawn…must be a slow day in Australia today.

          • joe

            Your right, thought I would give some stick to the Trump haters.

          • thixotropic jerk

            Exactly what is it exactly about DumTrump that you like exactly?

          • Delu

            They all say that.

            Why do they all end up looking like fools in doing so?

            Must be something about defending Trump and attacking his opponents that has a link with stupid.

          • Great!

            Now you can go home, eat rotten cabbage, stare at bare concrete walls and drink yourself into a stupor with cheap Wodka.
            https://img.memecdn.com/russian-problems_o_1083411.jpg

            Is goot. 😛

      • Wilbur T

        Comrade Joe learn English very well. Top of class.

        • joe

          Actually I was in the top five in my English class .

          • thixotropic jerk

            I thought you had better things to do flouncey joe

          • Pisto75666

            What is it about Breitfarters that cause them to have such bad senses of direction? The mind boggles.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            Like the fundamentalists who end up at the porno shows by accident…”I thought Bambi was a deer.”

          • Delu

            The king of Jupiter, Kazoo also said the same.

            Must be true!

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Out of 5, I presume.

          • Carole

            In Porpoise Spit, Queensland.

    • Tishalicious

      Eastern/Russian Orthodox….uber-authoritarian.

  • Spurning Beer

    Hey Joe, here are some other sites where Overseas people with your Christian values and pro-White leanings can be more comfortable:

    infowars.com
    breitbart.com
    dailystormer.red
    nambla.org

  • Rhein Ouaiffe

    I got here from Google News. Dang, the natives here sure are rude. Bye.

    • thixotropic jerk

      I’m sure you’ll find all your politeness-obsessed homies back at Blatfart.

    • Spurning Beer

      Well, he was nice, wasn’t he?

      • Rhein Ouaiffe

        The name “wonkette” misled me. This is quite the intellect-free zone.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Did someone tell you to fuck off?

      No?

      Well…FUCK OFF!

      There. NOW you may go.

      • Rhein Ouaiffe

        All right, I get it. The name “wonkette” must be ironic.

        So this is one of those “safe spaces” where low-information types can go to constult.

        • Begin Anew Day

          What part of “FUCK OFF!” do you not understand?

          Is it the FUCK or the OFF?

          • Rhein Ouaiffe

            Both. And I thank you for clarifying what kind of web site this is.

    • I got here from Google News

      Did you leave nyet?
      https://i.imgflip.com/1r0clj.jpg

      • Rhein Ouaiffe

        Better check under your bed in case there are more Russians hiding there.

    • phoenix00
    • Teto85
  • joe

    Seems I have stumbled into a nest of Trump hating Democrats, time to go, my time is too valuable to waste here.

  • Duke

    Being a watcher from overseas, I’ve got no real understanding of what’s going on in America.

    • thixotropic jerk

      another overseas watcher, at least this one’s honest and smart

      • Duke

        Actually a native Midwesterner. My pic is just for fun.

          • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

            i dunno, but the midwest is def considered the siberia of US

          • calliecallie

            Alaska libelz?

          • (((Aron)))

            Alaska is apparently much warmer than the Midwest this week.

          • calliecallie

            Speaking for the midwest, I can say I believe that is quite possible. It is fucking freezing here.

          • (((Aron)))

            Also too here in MA.

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            Saw a picture from Moscow on NYE – there were puddles on the ground, and green grass. While here on the south shore of Lake Erie, we have single digits, snow and ice everywhere.

          • (((Aron)))

            Same here. And we’re getting a big snowstorm tomorrow!

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            Stay safe, my friend.

          • Cripes. And to make matters worse my fireplace has stopped working.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Neither do we.

  • Blanche Beecham

    Unnamed and Mysterious witness that just pranced into a grand jury does not sound credible. Sounds like alternative facts.

  • Andrew Sayre

    It’s going to be really hard to find a jury of Trump’s peers. They’d all show up at the courthouse and get arrested on RICO charges.

    • Or they’re all in the Witness Protection program in Arizona dealing Molly to White Power gangs on the side.

    • phoenix00

      And/or drug charges?

  • wavicles

    I might believe a peace shirt, but two?

    • Carole

      Don . . . er, the witness had a cold that day and could not smell the patchouli, or he would have complained about that, too.

      • wavicles

        “I couldn’t see anyone’s feet so I can’t say if they were Birked-up or not.”

  • Tom Mears

    11 out 20 african americans on the grand jury could also be due to the fact that affluent white trump voters had “better” things to do than serve on a grand jury. Having been on juries and jury selections in the past the number and creativity of the excuses people come up with not to have to serve is truly staggering.

  • Stulexington

    “the ship went down with all hands lost. I know because I was there.”
    “There was only one white guy in the room and he was the prosecutor. I know because I was there.”

    • LadyLaz

      Subtle. I like it.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Next up on Hannity:
    “Face it, liberals, this is a witch hunt. It’s impossible for the President and his close advisors to get a fair trial with a jury that’s a representative cross-section of the city where the courtroom is.”

    • Illuminotquite

      For some reason, I feel much, much more confident in their capacity to be fair to him than I do his capacity to be fair to them. It’s not them, just people LIKE them that Trump’s been screwing over for his entire life, after all.

  • Frances

    Go-o-gle is paying 97$ per hour,with week-l-y payouts.You can a-l-so avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from hav-i-ng earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have e-v-er done .. It s-o-unds un-b-elievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !gj303d:
    >>>>> http://GoogleOnlineWayEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs AGHGYAYAYALLAYAYAYZAAAYAYAYAYAGTTAEWDDGBAYASSYAYAYAYA:::::!gj303lh

    • (((Aron)))

      AGHGYAYAYALLAYAYAYZAAAYAYAYAYAGTTAEWDDGBAYASSYAYAYAYA!!!

      • LadyLaz

        What is that? An organism mating call in Russian ;)

        • Opalescent Riddles

          *orgasmic

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Could be “organism.” You can’t make assumptions with those who get week-l-y payouts from the Go-o-o-o-ogle.

        • (((Aron)))

          My AGHGYAYAYALLAYAYAYZAAAYAYAYAYAGTTAEWDDGBAYASSYAYAYAYA brings all the Russian lay-deez to the yard.

    • William

      Well I was suspicious at first but the long flowing red hair and the random use of dashes in otherwise common words has convinced me. Where do I pick up my land rover?

    • JCfromNC

      Damn it, the aliens are back. That spelling is a dead giveaway that posting’s from Proxima Centura.

  • LadyLaz

    Alan (I misspelled it Anal at first) Dershowitz was once a solid if extreme constitutional law prof and attorney. He’s gone off the edge a bit. I think he needs to get out of the ivory tower

    • John Thorstensen

      You’re being charitable.

    • Carole

      I knew he was insane when he went off on Amanda Knox.

  • Teto85

    Grand Jury not made up of white billionaire men!!!! Boo. Fucking. Hoo.

    • William

      Yes but it is supposed to be made up of peers. You try to find a dozen orange faced, serial liars with a dead gopher on their head. Good luck with that

  • William

    Pfffft. Why would anyone from the Trump camp care who was on a grand jury. After all. Trump has reminded us that there is no collusion with Russia. In fact he doesn’t even know what a Russia is. He’s never met a Russian, and ….cuz CROOKED HILLARY!. Thank you for your time…..bigly

  • agentS

    Considering his shrinking popularity (and those stupid tweets), I wouldn’t bet on a grand jury in Fayetteville AR or Casper WY being any more favorable to Trump than one in DC. Short of moving the grand jury to Russia AND stacking it with mobsters he owes money to, this isn’t ending well for the Trumpster.

    • sarafina

      And I think that is GREAT!!!

  • Mike Steele

    Why, Alan, you once ACLU-ish, currently irrelevant media whore and (alleged) pervert! Recall when you were all down with a blah jury in LA, even though OJ, by rights, should have been tried in his OWN ‘hood, which was Brentwood, BTW. Join the ranks of folks who have sold their formerly-credible souls for that sweet, sweet Faux lucre. Amoral pigs, all of you.

  • It’sWhitneyBitch

    Just here to point out that DC is a majority minority city. It’s 49% African American, 43.6% White, 3% Asian, 1.4% other, and 4% Hispanic.

    NOW, in my quick perusal of the DC Deptartment of Elections site, I couldn’t find the racial demographics of registered voters (assuming that’s where the Grand Jury comes from) but a 2014 WaPo article puts it at 51% African American.

    So, if the jury is 11/20, that’s 55% African American. Now, we don’t know if all of these folks identify as African American or if they would put themselves in the “other” category because they are biracial. If that’s the case, and just one of these Trump-identified African Americans is actually bi-racial, then the percentage of African Americans on the grand jury is pretty damn close to the percentage of African Americans registered to vote in DC. Even if this person is not bi-racial, it’s pretty close.

    In conclusion, if there are 11 black people and 9 white people on this jury, white people are actually overrepresented as to their share of DC voters, and Asians and Hispanics are desperately UNDERREPRESENTED.

    Sorry, Trumps. You are dumb.

  • rusty57

    Impossible for him to get a fair trial in a swamp that voted 92% for Hitlery.

  • Unsaintific

    F**k off, tRumptards.

    Since the founding of USA, every black American has been forced to suffer through compete white juries.
    But I don’t think cult45 will give an ear to black folks if they complain about white-majority juries.
    So Dummies for 45 should shut the f**k up and stop acting like victims.

  • Akat

    Lol, Bernie Sanders knowing what BLM is.

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