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Happy New Year and good morning to you, Wonketariat! After you shake off the last of your hangover, grab some coffee and take a peek at some of the things we may be talking about today — BUT FIRST, let’s squee at exotic ocelot kittens!

Trump was up and tweeting this morning, hypocritically accusing Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin of violating security protocols, and threatening to investigate and imprison her for giving “state secrets” to foreign agents.

A Houston man remains in police custody as police try to figure out why he had a small arsenal of shotguns and assault weapons in a downtown high-rise hotel.

2017 Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Devin Nunes wants to push the House Trump-Russia probe into the FBI for using THE DOSSIER, and that has some Republicans and Democrats super pissed.

Some Republicans are still dead-set on killing Obamacare, even if they can’t agree on another bumbling scheme to screw poors until they’re dead.

As Congress critters begin to skulk back to the Hill, they face a jam-packed legislative agenda that includes a (NOTHER) government shutdown, DACA and Trump’s Tortilla Curtain, CHIP, 702 FISA warrants, disaster relief, and funding health insurance markets.

Trump’s White House can’t figure out what its priorities are for 2018, and it appears torn between welfare reform and infrastructure spending, neither of which is likely to pass as Republicans nervously watch 2018.

Businesses are engaging in an orgy of expansion now that the Trump administration has signaled it has no intention of enforcing the regulations it can’t repeal.

Just before wildfire season began and burned up massive chunks of the West, Interior Secretary and incompetent grifty bastard Ryan Zinke used funds from the National Interagency Fire Center to pay for ANOTHER $39,295 worth of helicopter rides.

Democrats now want to depose Reince Priebus after Sean Spicer noted Priebus’s proximity to the Trump Tower nerve center on election night in 2016, possibly violating a 35-year old ban on RNC poll-watching.

Even though we haven’t even started the 2018 midterm elections, 2020 hopefuls are already running shadow campaigns, with Bernie and Biden the likely front runners, and Warren, Gillibrand, and Booker running right behind — however Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg and The Rock are feeling out challenges just the same as John Kasich, Ben Sasse, Jeff Flake and Mitt Romney.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren is hoarding a massive war chest of campaign cash, leading to lots of 2020 speculation as she prepares to battle a massive assault from Mercer money.

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand’s staunch anti-Trump record is fueling chatter about her own 2020 run, as well as her zero-tolerance sexual harassment policy.

Everyone is still looking at Iowa as the beginning and end of all political campaigns because there’s apparently something about the corn-bred that defines America in the 21st century.

Currently there’s a total of 79 women running or considering gubernatorial runs 2018. But shouldn’t they be out shopping for SHOOOOZ?

VA hospitals have been gaming their shitty stats by denying care to at-risk patients in order to bring up their ratings and net bonuses for hospital brass.

Governors associations are being used to funnel unlimited amounts of money to gubernatorial campaigns thanks to a loophole that allows big donors and businesses to make secret quid-pro-quo donations. [Archive]

As Trump’s first travel ban was put into effect, DHS activated a “Crisis Action Team” to provide intel and assistance that clearly didn’t trickle down to local and private institutions.

This is really sad.

Claims by Confederate sympathizers seeking to “honor” black Confederate soldiers aren’t passing muster as a new investigation has found ZERO black soldiers fighting for the Confederacy, surprising nobody.

For the fifth day, Iranians are protesting in the streets, prompting a security crackdown from Revolutionary Guard Forces, and the allegations of Western influence from Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

While wearing an odd grey suit, Kim Jong Un gave a mixed message of peace in his annual New Year’s address, expressing a willingness to negotiate with South Korea as he boasted about the nuclear button on his desk.

Rumors of the demise of IS/ISIL/daesh/whatever have been greatly exaggerated as there has been a resurgence in guerrilla tactics by militants in Syria and Iraq. [Archive]

A Idiot youtuber is being criticized for uploading video of a dead body while traipsing around Japan’s infamous suicide forest. The douchey bro later issued a tone deaf apology, claiming he “didn’t do it for the views,” because he “can get views.”

On Sunday, Chief Justice John Roberts released the annual 2017 State of the Judiciary Report, and noted that “the judicial branch is not immune” from sexual harassment, and that the judiciary will begin evaluating conduct and practices so that grab-ass is not tolerated.

The former Editor in Chief of the Anniston Star is being accused to sexually assaulting women in the newsroom after a former reporter detailed the EiC’s habit of spanking female reporters throughout the 1970s.

There’s growing concern that the #MeToo movement will implode as partisan groups try to weaponize sexual harassment claims for cheap political gain, and silver-tongued “alt-right” conspiracy crazies are leading the pack.

People in Palm Beach are wondering why Trump’s private business helicopter seems to make a lot of dubious trips to and from Mar-a-Lago whenever Trump comes to town, possibly violating city regulations.

After reporters began giggling about former Sheriff David Clarke being served a search warrant to investigate abuse of power, he vented his butthurt on Twitter, threatening to “bitch slap” reporters and “MAKE THEM TASTE THEIR OWN BLOOD” for being so mean.

According to The Mooch, THE MOOCH IS COMING BACK! Multiple reports are confirming The Mooch has been scuttling about and bragging how much Trump’s White House wants him back — however, when asked he denied everything, telling reporters, “I have said nothing like that at all…Don’t believe BS.”

During his last address of 2017, Pope Francis said that humanity had “wasted and wounded” the year “in many ways with works of death, with lies and injustices.” I wonder who he was talking about?

Gretchen Carlson is the new board chair for the Miss America Organization, so 2018 seems to be off to a decent start.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! KOALA JOEYS!

Give us all your money so we can stay 100% reader-supported and free!

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  • (((Aron)))

    Careful lads, those ocelots are crepuscular!

    (Also, WHOA! First comment on new post of 2017!!!)

    • Nounverb911

      Wrong year….

      • (((Aron)))

        Welp, I guess that sets the tone, then.

        Darn it!

        • MynameisBlarney

          So, you’re a time traveler, eh?

          • (((Aron)))

            I come from the past, bearing tidings of fear and unbuttered toast!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Well, at least some folks don’t mind unbuttered toast.

          • (((Aron)))

            FEAR!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Another time traveler!

    • (((Aron)))

      2018, even!

      • Nounverb911

        Better, congrats of being first.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • (((Aron)))

      TEDDY BEAR HOT COCOA LIBELZ!

  • Oblios_Cap

    After reporters began giggling about former Sheriff David Clarke being served a search warrant to investigate abuse of power, he vented his butthurt on Twitter, threatening to “bitch slap” reporters and “MAKE THEM TASTE THEIR OWN BLOOD” for being so mean.

    And some people think this asshole has the temperament to be the head law enforcement official of a major city, much less allowed anywhere near a gun?

  • memzilla Ω
  • dslindc

    Back to the grind of having to get up early, put on pants, and work like a common employed person with responsibilities today. Thanks, Obama!

  • Oblios_Cap

    People in Palm Beach are wondering why Trump’s private business helicopter seems to make a lot of dubious trips to and from Mar-a-Lago whenever Trump comes to town, possibly violating city regulations.

    It’s just picking up his Kremlin handlers so that he can get his marching orders from Putin. Definitely related to his duties as President.

  • cheetojeebus

    In addition, douchebag fuckwad republicans in the house have put forward a bill to limit Presidential power to create National Monuments and parks. Also too they suck ass, the scrotboils.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Laws can always be superseded.

      • Me not sure

        As is being done now?

  • Nounverb911
    • Arolpin

      It’s not Cheryl Tunt?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I would pet that cat.

    • Me not sure

      “Something, something sexist, something, stroke my ocelot anytime, something, something.”

    • Snowbound Ron

      I’m slightly confused. Is the ocelot’s name Monaural?

      • therblig

        Bruce

      • John Thorstensen

        Well, it put North Haverbrook on the map …

  • Oblios_Cap

    For the fifth day, Iranians are protesting in the streets, prompting a security crackdown from Revolutionary Guard Forces, and the allegations of Western influence from Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

    It appears that the theocracy may have overplayed its hand, as is usually the case when they become rulers.

    • Snowbound Ron

      Are you implying that there might be a nascent theocracy close to home that might follow a similar path?

  • The sun did not fail to rise once in 2017. MAGA!!!!11!!

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/948195478428102657

    • Oblios_Cap

      I was regular each morning after I had my first cuppa joe. Praise Trump, who fed me enough shit all year to make that happen!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      We all remember how he had this laser focus on aviation safety all year. He wouldn’t shut up about this airplane named Hillary.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Fortunately, he made up for it with storm deaths in Puerto Rico.

    • janecita

      I knew he was going to take credit for this shit! I’m giving myself a cheese stick as a reward!

    • bupkus231

      Sure seemed to be a few deaths from General Aviation, tho’…

      Why are you so strict on them? Asshole!

  • Tetman Callis

    That new Kim Jong guy looks like a guy we coold do bidness wit. Does he like the Don? I bet he likes the Don. They probly get along real well. Golfin. Munchin KFC. Grabbin nukies. Coupla BFFs at the top of their game.

    • (((Aron)))

      More like mnuchin’ KFC, amirite?

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      Why do laws have to be passed to make that occur?

      • Nounverb911

        Men?

        • Oblios_Cap

          We sure suck a lot of the time, don’t we?

          • Frances

            Go-o-gle is paying 97$ per hour,with week-l-y payouts.You can a-l-so avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from hav-i-ng earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have e-v-er done .. It s-o-unds un-b-elievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !gj306d:
            >>>>> http://GoogleDailyConsumerWayJornalsJobsReport1/easy/jobs AGHGYAYAYALLAYAYAYZAAAYAYAYAYAGTTAEWDDGBAYASSYAYAYAYA:::::!gj306lhuh

  • CripesAmighty
  • Crystalclear12

    So, another bad year to be sober.

  • Me not sure

    Act3, scene1: Ryan Zinke gets voted off of the helicopter.https://youtu.be/4G94NOyLF7U

    • (((Aron)))

      BABOU!!!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Businesses are engaging in an orgy of expansion now that the Trump administration has signaled it has no intention of enforcing the regulations it can’t repeal.

    How the hell did a biased opinion piece like that end up as a “news story” on page A1 of the New York Fucking Times?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Teach an ocelot to fish, and they’ll eat everyday. And stay off of welfare, I guess.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Not like bobcats, that have their own secret welfare system ocelots don’t get to use.
      #allcatsmatter

    • Lance Thrustwell

      They get paid scale.

      • The Wanderer

        Someone slip you a fin for that pun?

  • Nounverb911

    Hoda Kotb is the new Matt Lauer too, also.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/948166521486036992

    When does Fox bitch about her ‘foreign’ name?

    • I wonder if her and Kathy Lee will continue the the booze-filled 11th hour?

      • Lazyjay

        yes they plan to. caught it on the Today show when they announced Hoda

  • Asterix

    2018 no different than 2017 but with possibility of more war…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Those bombs aren’t to blow themselves up, now are they?

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/08/30/en-garde-texas-open-carry-sword-law-takes-effect-friday/619064001/ found out about this today and I agree with the Rude Pundit. We are a stupid nation.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Caution- autoplay ad or something on that site.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Yeah, sorry about that

  • Longstreet63

    So, it’s -11 here. My furnace is acting up, making a noise like a loose fan belt. At work, my company truck won’t start. And Trump is still…you know.
    Happy 2018.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Happy New Year!

      • Longstreet63

        Thanks.

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s probably a loose fan belt or bearing. Depending how old the furnace is and how the blower fan is set up.

      Diesel truck? Mine gets hard to start when it drops under 30 so I have to plug the block heater in at least 2 hours before I intend to start it.

      • Longstreet63

        Thanks! When can you come and fix it? I’m pretty helpless on things that lack an operating system.
        The truck is gasoline, but it sat there for ten days in this cold. Happy ending, though. Our service company already had a tow truck on site starting the half dozen other dead trucks…

        • shivaskeeper

          YouTube. If does not matter what you have that is broken, there us a video on YouTube.

  • KnaveOfSwords

    Sen. Elizabeth Warren is hoarding a massive war chest of campaign cash, leading to lots of 2020 speculation as she prepares to battle a massive assault from Mercer money.

    Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand’s staunch anti-Trump record is fueling chatter about her own 2020 run, as well as her zero-tolerance sexual harassment policy.

    I, for one, would happily support a Warren/Gillibrand ticket in 2020.

    • (((Aron)))

      After what they did to Al Franken? I’m not so sure anymore…

      • janecita

        Fuck her!

        • sarafina

          You sound like Republicans and their HRC lies. Will you keep up this bullshit for 30 years the way they did?

          • janecita

            Lady, you don’t know me. I don’t like the woman, I’m entitled to my own damn opinion! I don’t have to like every single Democrat, some of them aren’t that great. I believe that we can, and should do better.

          • sarafina

            I know your postings. You don’t like her? Fine. You prefer the Republicans? You have a perfect right to bitch about Gillibrand, but how useful is it? Did bitching about HRC promote the progressive cause – and I don’t know what you thought about her. If Dems don’t get more strategic in their thinking the Rs will continue to win. Bitch about KellyAnne or Melania or one of the batshit crazy legislators from Tennessee/Kentucky if you must attack a woman. I don’t see how you whining on here about Gillibrand helps the Dems to “do better”.

      • sarafina

        Al Franken got burned because standards of acceptable behavior changed and there were a lot of cameras around, besides the Republican rat-fuckers. I’m not counting him out, and we need to nurture similar progressive candidates going forward. Al Franken was not FORCED to do anything, he could have stayed for an ethics investigation. He is a smart man, I’m sure he figured his actions were the best response to the situation.

        • (((Aron)))

          I know. And it breaks my heart, because I genuinely do not believe he did anything wrong. I do not like railroad jobs, even against those people with whom I disagree.

          • sarafina

            Agreed.

          • Regular Joe

            Your mom likes railroad jobs.

    • janecita

      Warren/Anybody else.

      Fuck Gillibrand! Thanks to her zealous bullshit we lost a good progressive in the senate.

      • But gained a progressive woman. I think Gillibrand is playing the long game, so I can dig the zero-tolerance stand. Let Franken use his talents as a satirist on the outside.

        • janecita

          Where you see progressive, I see opportunistic.

          • sarafina

            So don’t vote for her when she’s on the ballot. That will show her. You don’t look good without your nose, though.

          • janecita

            That’s why we have primaries. We don’t coronate people. I doubt that she will be our candidate on 2020.

          • sarafina

            Yeah, your opinion and $2.11 will get me a small coffee at B&N.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        She wanted to make sure he couldn’t remotely ever consider running for President or Veep and get in her way. She’s off my list, for sure.

        • sarafina

          Your argument is totally bogus. Franken was very clear on not running for higher office. Gillibrand is honest about her hatred for sexual abuse/harassment. Now you are treating her as the Rs did HRC. And when you say you have no problems voting for a woman, just not Gillibrand, you will be shown as the bullshitter you are.

  • coozledad

    Funny how Jake Tapper and Wolf Blitzer praise Iranians for protesting, but they do fuck all to cover protests here.

    Somehow I know whose side they’ll come down on when the cops start firing into the crowds in DC.

    • (((Aron)))

      Jake Tapper? He is definitely on our side.

      • janecita

        LOL!

        • (((Aron)))

          I’m serious.

          • janecita

            At this point, I’m weary of all of them. These are the same people that screamed “Benghazi,” and “her emails,” instead of doing their jobs and investigating Trump. As far as I see it, the press gave us this president, they are complicit on this shit show.

          • (((Aron)))

            I know what you mean.

            But I genuinely believe Jake Tapper has done an excellent job of speaking to power.

          • coozledad

            You can’t walk it back if you don’t speak to it first. His twitter feed is pure militaristic occultism. He’ll follow the dollar.

          • (((Aron)))

            ‘Militaristic occultism?’ Whaaa?

          • Jeffery Campbell

            All the way to the end of the line.

    • janecita

      Right?! And the protests are about economical problems and unemployment. France has the same kind of protests some years ago, those two weren’t so worried about the protesters.

    • Michael Smith

      Was thinking about that with Trump, too. Where’s his statement about how the Iranians have some very good people on their side?

      But honestly, for about a year now the bar for intellectual consistency is much higher for Jake Tapper and Wolf Blitzer than for the President.

      • coozledad

        Dr. Barber put 10,000 people on the streets in Raleigh at the HK on J rally. Minimal network coverage. There was virtually no coverage of the journey for justice march from Selma to DC in 2015.

        The protests against the Iraq war got sidelined as human interest stories ahead of the great clusterfuck. The press works for Republicans in every instance. I’m betting the New York Times will congratulate Trump when he declares himself America’s first citizen for life,

        • janecita

          I marched against the Iraq war. There were almost 1 million people marching with me that day, there was absolutely no coverage of the march. These are also the same people that demonized the Occupy Wall Street movement, the same people that don’t cover the human rights violations in Israel. They are corporations puppets, they aren’t true journalists, we don’t have too many of those left.

        • sarafina

          Alert The Guardian and other non-U.S. media outlets. The Russians would probably LOVE to cover protests.

          • janecita

            So, because the Russians would “LOVE” to cover our protests, our own press should ignore them? Really?!

          • sarafina

            If other countries cover our protests, the U.S. media will eventually pull their heads out of their asses and do the same, I believe.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I have a goal of generating even more random electrical impulses this year!”
    — A Trump Neuron

    • Oblios_Cap

      His fingers are just itching to Twatter out even more Bonfires of the Inanities.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        He’s got a new synaptic connection between his anus and thumbs he’s just dying to try out.

    • cheetojeebus

      You’re a real livewire this morning eh?

  • Nounverb911
  • Michael Smith

    Does Trump know that the Iranian protesters are just as Brown as the Iranian government officials?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “The brown enemy of my brown enemy is my brown friend…for now.”
      — Donald Trump

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I increased my wonket donation! Maybe. The website/paypal/credit-card/login/secure-site/missile-launch procedure confused me. But, one New Year’s resolution done. Next up: Lose weight … after some cupcakes.

  • VirginiaHighFiber

    So when does our POTUS come back to the frozen White House? Hope the sudden temperature change jars a few more screws loose. Like the ones holding his head on. We are getting the robot one right? That’s the one I’m refering to of course.

    • Nounverb911
      • Of course none of them are wearing hats.

        • I noted that about Barron, you’d think his family would care. I doubt, though, that any of them was outside for more than 3-4 minutes.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Or gloves.

      • No worries, Melania’s implants are suited for conditions down to -20F.

        • Snowbound Ron

          They’re probably excellent insulation.

        • From Russia with Love

          Boobs, ass or teeth?

          • All of them, Katie.

          • Daniel

            Eyelash.

          • kareemachan

            Yes.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      He’s going to ride out the cold snap at the Riyadh White House.

  • Nounverb911

    From your mouth to God’s ea…. Oh wait! Never mind.
    https://twitter.com/TheGoodGodAbove/status/948045150286155777

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “This is my year. Mueller, McDonalds, stairs, secret pee tapes, Ivanka’s seething resentment…they are all part of my plan.”
    — Mike Pence

    • Snowbound Ron

      Yeah, about that…
      – Bob Mueller

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yeah…

      I don’t think he’s that cunning.

      I bet he spends his entire day just planning to kill tehe gheys.

    • pstokk

      Order an Oval Office desk for me, Mike. You know the rules.” – Mother

  • Nounverb911
    • “Hello, Comrade Sexy!”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “The goggles…they do nothing!”

    • Nockular cavity

      *cue porn music*

  • MynameisBlarney

    Jesus…2018’s already got me agreeing with David fucking Frum…

    https://twitter.com/davidfrum/status/947492849779650560

    • Robyn is working on Pizzagate 2.0. It involves mermaids and even crazier shit.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Mermaids?

        • Mermaids and Megalodons, I’d wager… NO SPOILERS!!

        • From Russia with Love

          Something’s fishy.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    God dammit, no to Bernie, Biden, or Warren. Just no.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Especially no to Bernie.

    • RC

      No one over 65 yrs

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I’m with you on Bernie and Biden, but why “no” to Warren?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Jeffocaster in the East

    I am glad we get a new President on January 20th………uh……..OH SHIT.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    President Cartman has yanked funding for a new train tunnel under the Hudson for the Northeast Corridor. Obama made the deal with governors of NY and NJ. If you didn’t vote for Glorious Leader, no infrastructure for you. Dick.

    • PubOption

      Obviously that move works better on the federal level than the state level.

    • bupkus231

      Isn’t this the same tunnel project that Christie pilled NJ out of, back in 2010 or so?

      So, seven years later, Christie signed on again – and now Rump cancelled it?

      WTF?

      • kareemachan

        One word: Obama.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Yeah, because it’s not like we need to move millions of people efficiently about the NE corridor or anything. Bastards.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    a) my guess on the Houston man is that he was a gun humper whose house was flooded and so he moved his arsenal with him into the hotel. the question is whether or not he required an additional FEMA voucher for the guns’ stay.

    b) Devin Nunes also, in my opinion, won the Louie Gohmert Lifetime Achievement Award for elected dipshitism.

    c) we sent Texas Task Force 2 to CA because Zinke Dinks needed to use federal funds to go “WHEEEE!” in a helicopter a few times? Texas and California tax payers are going to LOVE that.

    d) LORAX 2020: HANGOVERS ARE FOR HUMANS!
    obviously, Lorax is the only candidate that can win.

    e) does Dallas Co. Sheriff Lupe Valdez have to shop for shoes and be sheriff and run for Governor of Texas all at the same time or can her girlfriend take care of the shoes shopping for her?

    f) Khamenei is not wrong this time. we’re doing it in the open this time. which kind of sucks for all the Iranians wanting reforms as they’re not too wild about us either, but they do still want to eat. at least last time we pretended to stay out of it beyond making sure the Tweeters stayed up and CNN launching “I-report” early. I am sort of wondering what the hell Rouhani is doing and why because he’s been the most moderate secular leader since ’78. and we also haven’t heard near as much about the Basiji this time around.

    g) I think the MeToo Movement can survive at least one election cycle. it’s not like people didn’t see its use in political campaigns coming.

    • The Wanderer

      The Basiji may be waiting for marching orders, as they report to the Guardianship Council (i.e., Khamenei).

      • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

        I knew they reported to Khamenei which was why I asked how there haven’t been more reports about them. this whole thing looks like Khamenei put Rouhani in president jail and is running things again.

        • The Wanderer

          It’s possible, yes.
          I had the hardest explaining to a coworker back when Ahmadinejad was President that his blustering about military options was exactly that; the President of Iran isn’t the Commander-in-Chief.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            yeah, it’s like a PINO. kinda like Trump only not as much of an asshole.

          • The Wanderer

            I think it’s also because the ayatollahs thought that they should have control of the military, most in order to keep themselves in power.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            well, duh.

          • The Wanderer

            No one can accuse them of being starry-eyed idealists.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            no. they are sunny-eyed demi-gods.

          • The Wanderer

            A bit more low-key than American televangelists, though.

          • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

            moon-eyed demagogues?

          • Querolous

            Definitely not sunni-eyed.

  • shivaskeeper

    As for the #MeToo, it was a foregone conclusion that it would be weaponized for partisan purposes. That’s the world we live in right now. As soon as anyone got removed from office, lost a job, or was removed from any position of power on nothing more than accusations an the howling of the mob there was no other way this could go.

    For whatever reason, this campaign to get the word out, to raise awareness that this in fact does happen all the fucking time, stuck. This had been tried before with much less success, but I guess the time was right now.

    For this to remain effective it’s going to have to change. I’m not sure what it has to change to, where the focus needs to turn to, but if it doesn’t I think we will be back to where we were inside of six months, Back to accusations not being believed because fake, politically partisan, or vengeance fueled accusations will come to light and discredit all the others.

    • The key is to get more women in positions of authority so the whole rotten structure can be dismantled. It’s like trying to demolish a building that’s been rigged with booby-traps.

    • Stulexington

      Maybe we could get to the point where mass accusations lead to proper investigations? You know, like other crimes are suppose to.

      • shivaskeeper

        That is a separate issue. It could be the direction this goes towards, fixing the justice system and how the entire system deal with sexual crimes.

      • sarafina

        I’m suspicious of “proper investigations” unless 1) mediation has teeth or is not allowed and 2) NDAs are not allowed. Too often people in power don’t want to lose their offending co-workers and will render judgments favorable to the offenders while paying off/firing the accusers. It often does come down to he said/she said unless there are dozens of accusers.

        • Stulexington

          I mean by a police officer who takes it seriously as a crime and who at least wants to appear objective.

    • HazooToo

      If people just fucking take it seriously when it’s reported through the channels that are supposed to be there exactly for reporting sexual harassment and stop hiding it, punishing the victim, or just moving the offender around. If they actually investigate. That’s the key. Also, in a bunch of these cases, it wasn’t just the howling of the mob. The guys accused admitted to it and “apologized”. Without either a confession or proof, the only thing it should lead to is women in their circle watching out for themselves. Then either the guys take the hint and don’t fucking harass people, or proof will come along.

      • shivaskeeper

        Not the current cases. At least not so much what they were accused of or admitted too. More along the, “It’s going to be so and so’s tun in the barrel next”. That is weaponizing this for partisan gain. When a partisan hack breaks a story days before anyone else does, there is a problem brewing. It won;t be long before they get their way of doing business dialed in to be more effective.

        Of course the actual reporting system and everything attached to it needs to be overhauled.

        • HazooToo

          Yes, witch hunt bad, taking shit seriously good. I’m not even sure that a reporting system exists specifically for the Me Too movement, but the ones in place at jobs need to be examined like you said. Confessions or proof still need to be what gets people fired, though I can imagine positions where no one wants to work with an accused harasser could empty really fast. I’m still hopeful we can defend the movement from this kind of abuse.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Also see: BLM; B’nai B’rith

  • The Wanderer

    Clarke’s a former Sheriff; he can’t hide behind the authority of his rank any more, and therefore any threats he makes can be justification for preemptive actions on the part of those threatened.

    Was that vague enough?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • PubOption

    Wasn’t a supreme court justice once accused of sexual harassment?

    • The Wanderer

      Not surprising at all, sadly.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yeah, not shocked at that revelation.

    • TakingAmes

      So… Blue lives don’t matter anymore?

      • phoenix00

        Constitushuns and libbetys, ya know.

  • calliecallie

    I thought joeys were kangaroos?

    • Doug Langley

      Joeys are bishops. Or they were a time ago . . .

      • sarafina

        You reference an anachronistic term. Good memory!

        • Doug Langley

          Yeah, but try and remember what the boss told me ten minutes ago. : (

    • Jeffery Campbell

      All marsupial babies are joeys. The more you know (shooting star).

  • The Wanderer

    Well, I’ve had coffee, breakfast, done exercises and been shopping. My sole concession to the temperature outside (43, with a stiff breeze) is the addition of socks to my shorts and t-shirt.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      43?! Hoo-boy, it was a toasty 15 when I pushed off the coffin lid this morning.

      • Minus 13 here. We might break into single digits today!

      • Tiffany de Houston

        I duuno why, but your non-comment about pushing off the coffin lid has me giggling this morning! Happy new year!

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Same to you my friend!

    • John Thorstensen

      It was 29 degrees below zero Fahrenheit just before dawn at my house. I’ve never seen it this cold.

      • TakingAmes

        Yeah. We had -9 Fahrenheit this morning in Chicago with a wind chill of -25. Lake Michigan was steaming.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Pshaw. That’s positively balmy. It was 34 f here, also breezy. Wind chill does make it feel colder…

    • It got down to 65 last night here. Brrr.

      I had to put on a second blanket for a minute or two.

      Of course later in the day, I will be walking my usual 5 miles after my yoga class in flip flops, stopping by the outdoors organic farmers market on the way home.

  • Seriously, I really don’t care about all the speculation as to who is, or isn’t, going to run in 2020. What I remember quite clearly from the post-2012 election cycle was that immediately after the election, there were reams of speculation about who was going to run in 2016, along with polls trying to determine various match-ups and chances. Amazingly enough, almost none of those people actually ran, or if they did, didn’t make it past the first few primaries. Right now we should be focusing on this coming election. We can worry about 2020 after that.

    • The Wanderer

      Yes. Yes, to all of this. Get 2018 under our belts, and take back the House and Senate (or cut the majority to a tie, depriving Pence of any chance to take a vacation, boo fucking hoo).

    • bupkus231

      The thing was that in 2012, everyone knew that there would be meaningful primary races in BOTH parties, since Obama was term-limited. If Rump wasn’t such a shitmuffin, the GOP would not be entertaining the idea of presidential challengers – so the meaningful primary campaign would be limited to the Democratic Party. So, normally, there would be less of this early talk.

      It’s kinda telling that, of all the early 2020 talk, most of it seems ( so far ) to be focusing on which Republicans are gonna challenge the incumbent ( and/or whether that incumbent will be Rump )…

      • artem1s

        even the GOP will be the usual suspects. the grifters have created a system where they can enrich themselves by running for office with no intention of actually winning the office. we will have more and more Newts, Cain’s, and Fiorinas. Kasich is probably a serious candidate, but only because the suburbanite nice polite rethugs think he is a good guy who will save the party from the idiot golfing his way thru the GOP apocalypse.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Re grifters,
          And the Ron Pauls and Jill Steins will follow suit, promising third party change while pocketing the cash…

      • The thing was, they spent almost all of 2013 and 2014 speculating on various horse races, the vast majority of which ended up being a waste of ink, paper, and electricity. You’d have been hard-pressed to figure out that there were upcoming Senate, House, and state elections.

    • That’s the annoying thing. All this presidential horse race speculating end up distracting the public from vital local elections

  • cmd resistor

    Don’t worry, here are some airline regulations to get rid of so we can have some deaths next year. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/industry-panel-may-ask-faa-roll-back-aviation-safety-rules
    Also, too, perhaps he should tweet about all those Navy ship deaths on his watch!

  • Koala Joey was a hitman for the Gambino family — do not mess with!

  • Herewegoagain

    Donald made it blindingly obvious that he was dishonest, and a pathological . Donald isn’t a Robin Hood – take it from ‘ the rich and give to the pour people ‘ ….If you want to beat this Clown… apply reserve tactics…beat him on his own game…

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Blessings on you all and I hope that 2018 brings us what we want. Also, thanks for the excellent squee-age this morning. It really helps.

  • I don’t have time to check while hiding in the bathroom, so i’m going to assume someone made a Baboo! reference

    • TakingAmes

      *raises hand*

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Gretchen Carlson is the new board chair for the Miss America Organization, so 2018 seems to be off to a decent start.

    Sadly, the only other job this board member lost was arranging the party for Mark Halperin’s HBO movie.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/84a4a3e6ca9602d261fd085f0a0852f4b6b9e1dd82e07964ae0b5be2353bf58b.png

  • I know it was legislative shitmuffin of the year and thus he wouldn’t qualify, but I think we can take some solace in the fact that this was 2017’s biggest loser:

    https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2018/01/dept-silver-linings-2017-milo-yiannopoulos-goes-flames/#comments

    In fact, I propose a “Flushed Shitmuffin” award for 2018, for the Conserva-douch who had the biggest downfall, the biggest reversal of fortune (crossed fingers for James O’Keefe to win that lustrous honor.)

    • kareemachan

      Him or Shkreli….

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Oh, no. I read the comments. Brain Bleach please.

  • Ellie

    Oh, I needed those ocelots!!

  • JBenningfield

    Look, just bring 2018. Bring it full force. I’m ready. But if some crazy lady in a Chewbacca mask “steals the internet” or the suburban wasteland equivalent occurs, I’m gonna go postal.

    • kareemachan

      She was funny for about 5 seconds. Period.

  • DensityDestiny

    The story about the Vasquez family made me sick and angry. Good move, Dom, just posting the mysterious link so I had to click through and read about something important instead of indulging in the usual satisfying yet pointless Trump shaming. Now trying to find out if I can donate to their legal defense somehow…

  • SterWonk

    On Sunday, Chief Justice John Roberts released the annual 2017 State of the Judiciary Report, and noted that “the judicial branch is not immune” from sexual harassment, and that the judiciary will begin evaluating conduct and practices so that grab-ass is not tolerated.

    … while trying very hard not to look at Justice Thomas…

  • ahughes798

    Thanks an ocelot for those cute fishing kittens!

  • Sean Jungian

    Just want to note for the record that as much as I loved Joe Biden, hearing that he and Bernie are “front-runners” is disappointing as all HELL.

    DO BETTER, DNC.

    • Longstreet63

      I will be astonished if anyone other than a white male gets nominated in 2020. A year of “how do we connect with Trump voters?” has given me the idea that the DNC once again thinks the way to win is to act like Republicans.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        I hope to hell we can disabuse them of that notion. I’ve been holding my nose & voting Dem for what seems like forever, solely because its the only credible way to vote AGAINST republican’ts. But oh how I would dearly dearly love to have someone who actually reflected my values and beliefs that I could vote *for*.

      • I don’t have a problem in principle with a “white male” – what I’d like to see is a candidate who will be under 70 when 2024 comes around.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Grey is so slimming.

  • eyelashviper

    I know I have aged eons in the last year…

    http://www.suprmchaos.com/lumpy_like-seven_010118.jpg

  • kareemachan

    In re: VA hospitals. This kind of thing happened to a friend’s father. They booted him out of the hospital minutes before he died in the ambulance.

  • TakingAmes

    Serpentine, Babou! Serpentine!

  • chronozoan

    let’s squee at exotic ocelot kittens! who are you…Sterling Archer?

  • Zyxomma

    “This is really said” is the definition of understatement. It’s devastating.

  • Trump was up and tweeting this morning, hypocritically accusing Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin of violating security protocols, and threatening to investigate and imprison her for giving “state secrets” to foreign agents.
    https://pics.me.me/we-have-determined-that-was-a-lie-memes-com-14280961.png

  • SeeTrainWrecked

    Trump was up and tweeting this morning, hypocritically accusing Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin of violating security protocols, and threatening to investigate and imprison her for giving “state secrets” to foreign agents.

    The answer to the question, “What did Trump and his administration do that he’s blaming Hillary or Obama for today?”

    • phoenix00

      It was on Fox

      • SeeTrainWrecked

        Of course it was.

  • SeeTrainWrecked

    A Houston man remains in police custody as police try to figure out why he had a small arsenal of shotguns and assault weapons in a downtown high-rise hotel.

    “Thank God I’m white!”

    • phoenix00

      “Thank NRA for this sweet haul!”

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