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That’s right! Lock me up!

At least some people still believe in Michael Flynn, who pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI in a deal to cooperate with special prosecutor Robert Mueller. Flynn’s brother Joseph is on the case! After Trump tweeted about a Fox & Friends story yesterday, proclaiming the Dossier a great big fakey-fake, Joseph Flynn posted his own impassioned but incoherent call for justice, which stayed up for about 15 minutes — just long enough for Newsweek to grab screenshots (we’ve combined their two images into one, full disclosure):

Apparently Joe Flynn thought that phrase “the illegitimacy of his confessed crime” was a tad ambiguous and left the impression that his brother might have done something “wrong,” which is of course impossible since Mike Flynn is a great patriot. He later submitted another reply, possibly after someone pointed out the first one sounded a tad deranged, and that Trump might not appreciate the bitter implication that trump hadn’t done enough for the general so far:

We suppose we ought to do a little bit of fact-checking here while we’re at it — no matter what Trump says, the intelligence community’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election wasn’t prompted by the Steele dossier, and neither was the investigation into Flynn’s lying to the FBI about his own post-election phone calls to Russia’s ambassador to talk about ending sanctions. For that matter, the dossier hasn’t been discredited, some parts of it have been confirmed, and the Clinton campaign wasn’t its original sponsor anyway. Other than that, Mr. Trump…

In any case, it sure is unfair how Robert Mueller forced Flynn to accept a plea bargain to one count of lying to the FBI, when he could have prosecuted Flynn for so much more, like failing to disclose his lobbying for Turkey and taking payments from Russia, not to mention his alleged involvement in that stupid — and failed — plot to go outside judicial channels to send a dissident back to Turkey so Erdogan could execute him. (By which of course we mean kidnapping the cleric from his American home, and THEN sending him back to Turkey so Erdogan could execute him.)

Of course, now we learn that Trump’s legal team is preparing to attack Flynn as a lying liar — who’s admitted lying to our brave agents of the FBI! — if Flynn accuses Trump or his staff of wrongdoing, which is presumably why Mueller offered Flynn that plea deal. Trump tried running interference for Flynn for long enough, pleading with James Comey to just let the poor man be and constantly talking about what a noble wonderful guy he is, but once Flynn sings to Mueller, then obviously it’ll be time to throw him under any bus that might be handy, assuming it’s not being used to block reporters from seeing Trump golfing.

Team Trump happily leaked that strategy to the Washington Post yesterday:

Trump’s legal team has seized on Flynn’s agreement with prosecutors as fodder for a possible defense, if necessary. In court filings, the retired lieutenant general admitted that he lied to the FBI about conversations he had with the Russian ambassador to the United States during the December 2016 transition.

“He’s said it himself: He’s a liar,” said one person helping craft the strategy who was granted anonymity to describe private conversations.

So far, says the Post, Trump’s lawyers are certain Flynn won’t be able to back up any claims of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia with any of the documents that have been turned over to Mueller or Congress:

None of those records suggest a conspiracy by Trump or his inner circle to improperly work with Russians to defeat Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton, according to people who have reviewed the documents.

Just as long as nobody was stupid enough to write down “We are meeting with Russia Thursday to violate election law, BYOB,” they should be in the clear, they figure.

The Post also talked to legal experts who said the strategy of attacking Flynn’s credibility would be expected in any case where a witness takes a plea deal. Defense attorney and former prosecutor Barbara Van Gelder agreed that attacking Flynn’s plea agreement would be “textbook”:

“They will pull out all the arguments: ‘You pleaded guilty. You don’t have anything more than your word, and you probably got your son off with this. You got the deal of the century,’ ” she said.

Of course, the actual plea deal doesn’t really specify what information Flynn agreed to give Mueller in exchange for that guilty plea, so there’s no telling what he may be able to hand over beyond just his testimony. (Please, God, let it be the pee tape. It won’t be the pee tape.) Van Gelder said she’s impressed by the way the deal was structured:

“That is what I thought was the brilliance of the Flynn plea,” she said. “It said: ‘I’m giving just enough to have the judge sentence you within the guidelines, but not giving anything to anybody else.’”

And of course, it’s still entirely possible that Trump will pardon Flynn and then accuse him of lying anyway, because nothing makes sense at all anymore, the end.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to ensure our continued cooperation.

[Newsweek / WaPo]

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  • Oblios_Cap

    He “plead guilty”, did he? I can see that rampant intellectualism runs in the Flynn family.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      It’s Pizzagate and “Lock her up” all the way down the family tree.

      • LiberalANDProud

        So, they sold underage pizza to children via private emails?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Intellectual giants. They is all vary smart, its bigly truth.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      They never got beyond the present tense so don’t expect no good English-speak. “Flynn, fly, flown, flew,” you know, just like the McGuffey Reader says.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Flynn is the kind of general who gets people killed trying to take an objective with no strategic value so he can have something to brag about.

      • PubOption

        Repubs are very fond of going after Hillz when there is no strategic value.

    • puredog

      “Plead” rhymes with “lead” (which rhymes with “led”).
      Inglese iz hard.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’ve always seen “pled” for past tense here in America and I read pleadings all the time. I see the rest of the world is unenlightened and uses the “plead” form.

  • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

    “Michael Flynn is an honorable and trustworthy individual!”
    “Uh, sir. He just copped a plea.”
    “Michael Flynn is a lying rat and you can’t believe a word out of his mouth!”

    How you can shift that quick without stripping gears is a mystery.

    • texcynical

      Wingnut gears choose not to comply with the laws of physics.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      Wait until Jared gets flung under the bus.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Ivanka will have to run to Daddy for consolation.

    • Teecha

      By fiercely clutching at straws?

      (Hahahah! I make myself laff)

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that’s the benefit of choosing to believe only what you want to believe. Messy things like reality have no impact.

    • Sunhead

      When you are only spinning the wheels and going nowhere it’s not that big a change.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      A paradigm shift without a clutch.

  • Jenny

    You know who seems to have disappeared? Rince Penis. Wasn’t he running the RNC and being total butt buddies with the Trump campaign? Wasn’t he the guy who knew where the bodied got buried as chief of staff?

    I wonder if he’s the one giving Mueller the leads about the RNC?

    Some journalist should find out what he’s up to!

    • Maria Sewell

      There have been rumours about RNC involvement since the raid on Manafort’s firm’s offices the day after Comey was fired.

    • Edith Prickly

      Witness protection program?

      • TakingAmes

        Witless protection program.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Of course I’m cooperating. Pretty boys like me don’t do well in prison.”
      — Reince Priebus

  • LiberalANDProud

    “Thank you, Joe. You are a great American and so is your brother. Next time, don’t forget the taint. MAGA!”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Flynn and Out.

    • PubOption

      Alternatively, out like Flynn.

  • Aaron Wise

    Let’s pray that someone eventually goes to jail.

  • “…once Flynn sings to Mueller, then obviously it’ll be time to throw him under any bus that might be handy, assuming it’s not being used to block reporters from seeing Trump golfing.”

    You know, I thought I could make out the old “Flynn Moving and Whoreage” stickers on the white box truck trying to hide trump’s fat ass on the fairway.

    That brings to mind another issue, can it be called a “fairway” if trump is playing on it?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You drive on a fairway and park in a driveway.

      What’s up with that?

    • Rooster Cogburn105

      Give my regards to Fraudway!

  • Crystalclear12

    So the Trump team believes that Mueller would take Flynn’s word without evidence and that Flynn wouldn’t put evidence aside for a rainy day.

    Well, that’s just adorable.

    • Donna Mueller

      i certainly enjoy it when the gaggle of honking idiots that comprise the dumps’ legal team start braying and hissing at the moon.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Coming soon to a Rule 11 agreement near you: “Neither Defendant nor any person acting at Defendant’s behest shall make any public comment claiming Defendant’s actual innocence of the offenses to which Defendant pleads guilty . . .”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    In the Wake of All This Corruption is the most underrated King Crimson album of all time.

    • LiberalANDProud
    • Blanche de Shambles

      I would have also accepted “The Decemberists.”

    • frrolfe

      i also like “in the court of the orange crim”

  • Aaron Wise

    Wake me up when someone actually goes to jail.

  • Maria Sewell
    • Crystalclear12

      But I don’t wanna wait!!

      • Maria Sewell

        Me neither! He’s estimating it’ll hit around 8pm?

        • PubOption

          That’s sooner than Rachel’s not-much burger regarding Trum’s taxes.

      • Maria Sewell

        Trying to keep my expectations low…

    • Aaron Wise

      Thanks Scott Dworkin!

      Wake us up when someone is jailed.

      Thanks Scott!

    • BigCSouthside

      I’ve seen him on the twitter machine a lot. Is this guy credible or is he Louise mensch?

      • Maria Sewell

        He’s prolific there… He ‘self-touts’ as one of the Resistance leaders, so there’s that.

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        TRMS has cited to him, I’m pretty sure. So I think he’s got some credibility. Definitely more so than that tory hag.

    • BadKitty904

      We keep being told, by both sides, that “Big News Is About to Break”. Why not just release the damn news instead of all this fluffing?

      • keinsignal

        Gotta keep us tuned in through the commercial break?

        • BadKitty904

          More likely to make me say “Fuck you” and go do something else.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        This is like when the friend you like tells you she has big news and it turns out she “met a guy”.

        • Maria Sewell

          I will set that loop up in my brain in order to quash expectations.

        • BadKitty904

          Woo.

        • Earl Of Sammich

          Then, after googling him, you get to tell her that he’s married.

      • Maria Sewell

        Jostling for position within the currently forming Resistance Leadership rankings?

        • BadKitty904

          Harrumph.

    • Oh please oh please oh please

      It’s been too damn quiet on the western front.

    • Anne Of Green Bagels
    • Last Hussar

      And nothings happened.

      • Maria Sewell

        Glad I have been adjusting expectations downward since the election of Trump

      • Maria Sewell

        Something about Mueller’s biggest detractor being DiSantiis and how suspect are his efforts to de-legit the Russia investigation, esp in view of who DiS’s funders are…

  • Nounverb911
  • Timothy Watson

    Coming from the same party that thinks it’s a-okay to torture confessions out of criminal defendants and that factual innocence isn’t grounds for exoneration of a conviction.

    • Anna Rompage

      And the same party that threw their money behind backing a serial child molester for senate….

  • Anna Rompage

    Gen Mike Flynn was so untrustworthy, that Donad Trump, with Mike Pence’s approval, appointed him National Security Advisor, even after being warned in Nov by Elijah Cummings, and then again in Jan by Sally Yates that Flynn was compromised…

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      . . . and then they were shocked that he lied to Pence!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Hell, even “Mommy” lies to Pence.

    • Brian Holmes

      So naturally they let Sally Yates go and Flynn continued.

  • msanthropesmr

    Does anyone *really* want to see the pee tape?

    • Anna Rompage

      Raises hand..

      For a friend of course…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Only for the cinematography.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I watch it for the articles.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “To me it seemed a bit rushed, and somewhat artless. A step back for Russian Cinema.”
        — Ghost of Andrei Tarkovsky

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          The plot seemed to move in fits and squirts…

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I liked Tarkovsky’s documentary on Roy Moore: Stalker.

    • Beowoof14

      Are you kidding, I would enjoy watching Trump being pissed on in a big way. And golden showers aren’t my thing.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        But he wasn’t the piss-ee, he hired the pissers to piss on the bed where the Obamas once slept. Because he’s classy that way. Also a germophobe.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I couldn’t pass up the chance to see something that Trump is doing to us happen to him.

    • OrG

      Not necessarily. But I sure do want to know that it exists.

    • Ling Ling

      I want it to be available. Still haven’t seen the documentary “Nailing Sarah Palin” yet but I’m glad it is out there.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It’s a golden opportunity

      • Hobbes’ Evil Twin

        I want to shower that pun with upfists!

    • Crystalclear12

      Wouldn’t watch it but would love to hear Fox defend it.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        It would give them a reason to rehire O’Reilly.

    • Edith Prickly

      No, but I’d like it to be real.

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      I would have to, during the several times per year I’d force the Trumpers in my family to watch it.

      NEVER FORGET, BITCHES

      • Ms.Moon

        Make it a classy affair with themed food and drinks and everything.

  • Manhattan123

    It never ceases to amaze that the President of the United States, the most powerful man in the world, sends out tweets with the word “Wow” in them. Or spends even 10 seconds attacking Vanity Fair for apologizing for its snarky piece on Hillary.

    He really is a fucking moron.

    • jeffg166

      Sad.

    • BadKitty904

      No, really

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Nounverb911

      HAHAHA!

    • BadKitty904

      That’ll teach ’em to hate figs!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Brokecakes by Melissa

        • altleftjohn

          Those cakes we don’t like.

    • OrG

      Yeah, that’s good, but wingnut grift has more than paid the fine already. Sorry to rain on the parade.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Woohoo! Also, Roy Moore’s challenge to the fairness of his election defeat has now gone the way of his election.
      https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/12/28/574007390/roy-moore-files-complaint-seeking-to-delay-certification-of-vote

      • puredog

        Well, he was denied preliminary injunctive relief to prevent certification from happening. I assume the lawsuit was not dismissed and may proceed. If Jones is seated in the Senate, unclear what kind of remedy an Alabama state court could order. But Moore is nothing if not a stubborn and intransigent bastard, so I would not be at all surprised to see him continue to prosecute his lawsuit, especially if he raised enough $ for legal costs to keep it afloat for at least a while. Garmon is the attorney who signed the complaint, so he may be working for Moore on the cheap.

  • Beowoof14

    Flynn’s a liar, no kidding. The question becomes what does Mueller have to back up what Flynn will say at trial about Trump. Where we know Trump will lie. There was an interesting look at Trump lies on MSNBC last night. There were so many Trump lies as to why he fired Comey that a simple cross-examination would demonstrate what a huge liar he is.

    • Shibusa

      What’s baffling is that millions of Republicans either don’t believe he’s lying or don’t care.

      • puredog

        I was baffled, but am no longer baffled.

      • ThePuckStopsHere

        They don’t care, as it turns out. I was talking to my trumphead Dr. yesterday and he told me all he cares about is the tax cuts. Said he could not care less about any of the rest of it. Sez he pays $80,000 a year in taxes and cares only about the 3% cut he expects to get. Says future generations (including, presumably, his own 3 kids) can take care of themselves. The guys a Navy vet. It was the least patriotic thing I think I have ever heard someone say to my face in my life.

        • MC Planck

          He sold out for 3%? That’s what, 12 grand or so a year at his bracket?

          “It’s not that every man has his price; it’s that the price is always so low” – Calvin & Hobbes

  • Edith Prickly

    I see being delusional is a Flynn family trait.

    • Beowoof14

      Brother and Son have demonstrated that with their tweets.

    • Nounverb911

      His son too, also.

  • Donna Mueller

    no doubt this will be remembered as “The National Enquirer ” Presidency. Hillary had the aliens baby and such……what a clown show.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “They tricked my brother. He just missed that the word ‘not’ did not precede the word ‘guilty’. My brother is guilty only of bad proofreading!”
    — Joseph Flynn tries another angle

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He should have hired Milo’s editors…

  • Evidence-based Ugly Dude

    Am I the only one who thinks of Capt. Binghaman every time I read about “Joe Flynn?”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf3c83bda74bb750452caa65b129344ad9f057c80ba4c6a2ccdf8788f8bec2e7.jpg

    • doktorzoom

      Nope! I had to suppress the urge to make a McHale’s Navy joke in there. It was, fortunately, a very fleeting urge.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    So let me get this straight- the guy who was your longest and biggest supporter and served as a senior advisor for your election campaign- your right hand man- the guy you considered for the VP spot, the man you hired to be your National Security Advisor over the strenuous objections of the outgoing president and who you kept on despite the urgent warnings of the Attorney General Sally Yates that he was compromised by the Russians (you instead fired her), the man who you actively obstructed justice for with your interference in the Comey investigation (who you also fired) is a liar and not credible?

    WTF does that say about you and your judgment, Donnie?

    Also too, the only time we know of when Flynn has been lying is while he was working for you…

    • SayItWithWookies

      Assmouth hires all the best people. So it’s not his fault that those people continually betray him and fuck things up and then have to plead guilty and become witnesses against him.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So far, says the Post, Trump’s lawyers are certain Flynn won’t be able to back up any claims of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia with any of the documents that have been turned over to Mueller or Congress

    The same lawyers who thought this would be wrapped up by Thanksgiving Christmas early 2018?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7e91c8218c7a1721502525d793a6455fb111d13e17be704e19495e88f365314f.jpg

    • coozledad

      So Mueller says “I’ve already got the documents you HAVEN’T turned over. What kind of cigarettes you smoke?”

  • BadKitty904

    I wonder if Turmp’s “legal team” think they’re going to be paid?

    • jeffg166

      They are that stupid.

    • ArgieBargie

      They’ll get paid in Mar-a-Lago lunch coupons.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Aren’t they getting paid by the RNC? It’s the stupid dullards of the GOP base who are paying the bills

      • BadKitty904

        Gotta keep fleecin’ them sheep…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      They’ll be paid in exposure. Criminal exposure.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      that’s not the question. The question is, who in the world will ever hire them?

  • Nounverb911
    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      In Donnie’s case, he believes both are true. Because he’s completely and utterly devoid of any sense of time, propriety or sense.

  • Christopher Story
  • Jgb979

    So who gets the “I don’t know her” treatment next? Is it Jared? Gosh I hope it’s Jared!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/CsyFeRxyH0um4/giphy.gif

    Anyone who works for Trump at this point is ABSOLUTEly putting themselves in legal jeopardy, because the only person in the entire planet this man cares for is the one that winks back at him in the mirror.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      His penis?

      • amrak63

        OBJECTION!

        https://i.imgur.com/b6Jzwip.jpg

        You assume he has one.

        Hey, Evan’s on vacation; you need an Arkansas boy to make cheap pecker jokes. I can’t supply his fabulosity quotient, however; maybe Kiri can step in for that.

        Note: Although my name is not Richard, I prefer “pecker” to “dick” for the sake of dudes who are named Richard.

  • thepoliticalcat

    How is it fair that Evan gets a WHOLE WEEK OFF without leaving a stack of dick jokes for the sad, dick-joke-starved Wonketteers, HOW??

    • Nounverb911

      Didn’t Milo just write a pile of them?

      • Christopher Story

        Milo is a pile of dick jokes

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Milo is a pile of SOMETHING, all right.

          • Edith Prickly

            Milo is an MRSA infection in human form.

  • Christopher Story

    Shorter Flynn:
    “Whaaaah! It’s not fair!”

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    “Welcome to the Senate, Senator Jones”
    –Said by no one with an R by their name….

  • Nounverb911
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I don’t like this “feels like” temp. What is the actual temperature!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s a good, honest -3F here, up nearly 20 points through the day. Feelings are for lieberal libtards.

      • Dg Hacket

        -20f is tolerable but add even a little wind into the equation and its unbearable. Ive had ice on my beard and mustache since 7:30 this morning. Its just not fun

  • puredog

    Not only is the defense approach textbook for anyone who took a plea deal, but it’s even better in a case where the witness took a plea deal by admitting criminal misstatements: “Shrug, he’s a liar, he’s admitted it.” But in the ongoing saga of Trumpie’s tweets, etc., coming back to haunt him, he will then have to account for how staunchly he has defended Flynn as a good guy, EVEN AFTER firing him for (allegedly) lying to Pence (and, perhaps, the FBI). Mueller’s all over this. Popcorn time.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So far, says the Post, Trump’s lawyers are certain Flynn won’t be able to back up any claims of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia with any of the documents that have been turned over to Mueller or Congress.

    Trump’s lawyers — those are the brilliant guys who were startled to find out that Mueller had all the transition team’s emails for three months while they were questioning people, right?

    • jesterpunk

      The same ones who discussed Trump’s case across the street from the NYT’s outside at a restaurant the entire paper’s staff eats at.

      • Shan

        That was a stellar move, that.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Hey, now – REAL lawyers might expect to get paid eventually.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      There was a time when I thought they were just sandbagging to manage expectations. Now, I’m thinking they are completely fucking clueless.

      • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

        Only the best people for Donnie. And by “best” I mean “over-the-hillers and folks who probably graduated 320th out of 325”.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I also suspect that the campaign/transition/administration hasn’t been especially honest with them.

          • coozledad

            They don’t want to let one hand know what the other hand’s doing. Even when one hand is stabbing the back of the other hand or cutting the fucker completely off and putting it in hand jail.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Well to be fair I’m sure they believe Trump has an ironclad defense with the “No Collusion, No Collusion” claim.

    • Ms.Moon

      Trump has the lawyers that he has because smart lawyers have seen his pattern of lying to lawyers, non payment to lawyers and not taking the advice of lawyers and basically told him no thanks. His entire problem of not having decent legal representation is entirely self inflicted and honestly he’s got the lawyers he deserves.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    So, WTF did bro mean by “in the wake of all this corruption”? Was he signalling to DJT that ISWYDT?

  • jesterpunk

    Hey Flynn and Flynn Jr, I hope you see that Trump is getting ready to throw both of you under the bus. So you have 2 choices because a pardon isnt an option, tell Mueller everything and hope for a lighter sentence or keep backing Trump and hope you get out before you die. Well Flynn Jr is on twitter defending Trump so I guess they are going to keep sucking up to Trump.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT and this is why we needed the GOP tax scam…

    https://twitter.com/BloombergQuint/status/946225466561650688/video/1

  • Daniel

    “you probably got your son off with this.”

    [holds up feather duster smeared with chutney]

  • Reading people’s 2017 year in review, I realize i have missed ALL the Hollywood gossip and weddings and fashion. I mean i did not even know Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander got married. (This is because i have been protesting and phone calling and spilling blood for the ACA since 1/20).

    Fuck you republicans.

    • arglebargle

      I think a Kardashian of some sort did something. Other than that it was pretty quiet.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        No lie – there are days when I think “I could ignore all of this and just watch those big-assed Armenian women get knocked up or something.” Because it’s a possibility.

        • arglebargle

          Breeding like a common Palin.

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          You certainly could. You can ignore them too; I do it all the time – heck, I’m doing it right now!

          I gotta admit I have NO understanding of the appeal of celeb culture (unless of course its a certain British comedian with rock-star looks, but never mind all that). As far as I know, People exists solely to cover the end tables in doctor’s waiting rooms. If I’m not max two degrees of separation from someone, why should I care who they f/m/k? I got too many other things to be interested by.

          • Phried Ω

            British comedian with rock-star looks….Is it Spoke Milligan, Benny Hill? Are the rock-star looks those of Iggy Pop, Keith Richards, Slash?

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            One *might* take a hint from my screen name – assuming one knew which two-season comedy show it refers to. OR one could tune in to GBBO; mystery solved!

          • Daniel

            Noel Fielding.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            It would just be relaxing, I think, to care about nothing but stupid things. For just a year or so.

      • Jennaratrix

        I said earlier this year that the only good thing about Trump doing something stupid and/or criminal almost daily is that he knocked the Kardashians right out of the news cycle. Silver linings, man.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I think of you every time I see news about Obamacare, and smile knowing that there are good people doing good work out there.

      • Oh thank you! We’ll see what 18 brings.

    • wait! what?

      Oh, great. So, now, Michael is going to be a hot dad…

    • Timothy Watson

      I’m so out of the loop when it comes to pop culture, my response is, “Who and who?”

    • Fartknocker

      Justin Beaber got detained by CBP and deported by ICE to Canada. I read that on the Internet so it’s true.

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      I don’t even know who Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander are.

  • Bell the Blind Tiger MCD

    I wonder what else Flynn would be admitting to if he accepted a pardon since that is how pardons work.

  • gallbladder

    “Thank you and keep up the good work!”

    So much delusion in so few words.

  • Peter Walford

    “I am not a crook! Your president is not a crook!” — where have we heard this before??? — better have your pardonin’ pen ready Mr Pence.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Who says a liar can’t be a fink? Most of them start out that way so there’s something to fink about. Anyway, Mueller will have to back up any testimony with evidence. This is just so he doesn’t waste time digging where the bodies ain’t buried.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “not to mention his alleged involvement in that stupid — and failed — plot to go outside judicial channels to send a dissident back to Turkey so Erdogan could execute him. (By which of course we mean kidnapping the cleric from his American home, and THEN sending him back to Turkey so Erdogan could execute him.)”

    Ya GOTTA figure Flynn had something BIG to share for Mueller to let that one slide.

    • Ms.Moon

      This is why Dolt 45 is sweating to his socks what information could Flynn give Mueller that would let this slide I wonder?

    • mailman27

      Since when is this kind of shit OK? And more to the point, since when is the news media not trumpeting a story about this kind of shit like a herd of elephants?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR? It was a crazy plot.
        My ONLY guess is, the plot was so stupid and likely to fail, they’re waiving it. Which is ironic given how much the feds like to trumpet about how they conned some pathetic loser who wanted to commit an attack but didn’t have the money, the know-how or the contacts to do it…then they charge him with terrorism, send out a press release, and count it towards their “attacks prevented” numbers.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    ““He’s said it himself: He’s a liar,” said one person helping craft the strategy who was granted anonymity to describe private conversations.”

    So unsophisticated, yet so effective. Shit.

    • janecita

      I’m almost done watching the new season of “Frontier.” It is kind of gruesome.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    The thing about calling someone else a liar is that you yourself need just a smidgeon of a bit of a piece of a hint of truthiness before anyone will care. “I lie more easily than I breathe but I’m calling THIS guy a liar” is not a particularly effective argument.

  • William
    • SayItWithWookies

      In this case, though, the business he would get on with amounts to tweeting about Mika Brzezinski — so really why the fuck not prosecute his ass to kingdom come?

    • BadKitty904

      I swear, Republicans keep putting lying Dicks in the White House…

    • Blackest Noobs
    • alpacapunchbowl

      Uncanny.

  • PixieThis

    I wonder if trump is worried pence won’t pardon him and let’s him pound rocks. But of course, I don’t think pence will come out of this without egg on his face and most republicans either. They messed up good.

    • BadKitty904

      Pence is just as guilty. He’s just smart enough to keep his mouth shut.

      • Ms.Moon

        Pence will be going down with Donnie. Manafort brought Pence on board so Pence has some skeletons in his closet.

        • Anna in PDX

          This is one of my deepest wishes right now. Actually my dream is that Pence and Trump both go to prison on Jan. 22, 2019 and President Pelosi takes office.

        • BadKitty904

          Pence has been a wholly-owned KochBros product for his entire political career. We’ll see if their billions will be able to buy his freedom.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Assuming he survives the investigation, Pence will pardon Donnie just to please his base ahead of the 2020 election

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • BadKitty904

      I repeat: What an asshole.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      None of them understand irony. Not one.

      • Earl Of Sammich

        They’re still trying to figure out why a Black guy was playing golf and not just carrying the bags.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Trump thinks irony is a club you use when you’re in the rough.

    • Spotts1701, Porg Wrangler

      Is there any goddamn thing that man won’t be petty about?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        No, Katie.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Next up- Donnie parks a big truck in front of your monitor so you can’t see this…

    • Anne Of Green Bagels

      who coded the site? Weev?

    • Jennaratrix

      My dog he is fucking petty.

    • arcessita

      lol, assignment vs comparison bug in that error code check. Good programming, guys.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “That plea deal you signed? That was the end of the negotiation, not the beginning. You’ve entered a plea and you’ve allocuted — so there’s no turning back. You do whatever the Prosecutor tells you, because he’d like nothing more than to dump the sentencing agreement with you already bound by your plea. You’d best make him love you. And tell your [mom/dad/wife/kid] to shut the fuck up. S/He’s not helping.”

    — Every Criminal Defense Attorney, Ever, At Some Point

    • Sheepshagger

      “You can’t unbitch yourself, bitch”.

      Every prison bully ever. More brutal, but perfectly concise.

    • Maybe

      In Flynn’s case his brother needs to be told.

  • WeaselPoo

    A liar doesn’t have to admit to a lie in order for the lie to be proven.
    A single proven lie does not prevent the liar from being truthful about the lie, or anything else.
    A lie is not random, it has purpose. A pattern of lies about specific or related subjects tends to illuminate the purpose of the lies.
    If everything about the Trump Russia connections are above board there’s nothing to lie about.
    If the connections can be manipulated to present apparent wrongdoing, further lying as a counter argument doesn’t work to ‘set the record straight.’ Lying about lying about lying doesn’t equal mundane truth either. Lying about something else to misdirect doesn’t work very well either.

  • William
  • Villago Delenda Est

    I’m sorry, but Joseph Flynn’s brother is a fucking traitor.

  • Sheepshagger

    What’d he lie about Donnie?

    • msanthropesmr

      I think it’s easier just to say what he hasn’t lied about at this time.

      • Sheepshagger

        Yeah. But if your defence is don’t trust that guy, he lied to the FBI to protect our asses from all the crimes we’d been doing together- well that’s not optimal as a defence.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Or as a defense.

          • msanthropesmr

            Or the fence.

        • Stulexington

          Yes, but you have to understand that Trump probably thinks it will work. Remember, he thinks he’s the smartest person in the world and has everyone fooled.

        • Beelzebubba

          Hey, that’s like, thinking ahead two steps. Donnie’s legal beagles haven’t thought things through that far.

  • Stulexington

    “And of course, it’s still entirely possible that Trump will pardon Flynn and then accuse him of lying anyway, because nothing makes sense at all anymore, the end.”

    Well technically that’s how it works though isn’t it? I mean accepting a Presidential pardon comes with an admission of guilt so he’d still admit to being a lying liar who lied to the FBI.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And put himself and Jr. nakedly subject to New York State charges.

      My bet is that Flynn will refuse to accept a pardon. If he is dumb enough to accept it, he and sonny boy will be in deep shit.

  • janecita

    They are all traitors, and the people that support them are traitors. Lock them all up!

    • Phried Ω

      I would prefer that they be impoverished. That would sting more than Club Fed.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Slightly OT from earlier, but pictured here is Roy Moore right now:

    https://twitter.com/Tammy_Beth/status/946472407501504512

    • Sheepshagger

      He’s courting again.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        ♫ Courtin’ again,
        Courtin’ again,
        Courtin’ again at the ol’ Food Court. ♫

    • Wookie Monster

      Is that Moore or his new girlfriend?

  • Paperless Tiger

    Flynn already pleaded guilty to lying once. If he lies again, he risks another conviction. He has to tell the truth. That’s really why Trump is worried.

    • Stulexington

      And that’s what makes discrediting him for the deal so difficult. There’s a huge sword dangling over his head and Mueller would like nothing more than to cut it free.

  • Shan

    OT: I know this biology professor! She’s awesome! Too bad about the publication, though.

    Biology prof lectures state rep on ‘sex determination stuff’

    https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=10309

    • Anne Of Green Bagels

      wingnuts’ collective Dunning Kruger on full display.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Indeed. The point sails right over their haids.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Their pointed little haids.

    • weejee
      • Shan

        That was fun!

      • Wookie Monster

        “Science can not explain everything, therefore Jesus” is pretty much the GOP’s entire platform these days.

      • h4rr4r

        We have plenty of anti-vaxxers, homeopathy believers and GMO haters in the DNC.

      • The Repubes hate science because it is not black and white and does not result in definitive easy to understand answers.

        • phoenix00

          Also because it gets in the way of their bible-thumping.

    • Bad Scooter

      “You’ve disingenuously and for bigoted purposes oversimplified a complex phenomenon,” she wrote.

      “That’s how we roll on every topic. It’s kind of our thing.” -Right Wing Thinker

      • Shan

        She don’t take no shit. We’ve been friends for almost 15 years now and not only is she a lovely person, she’s a great teacher. She’s able to explain things very clearly to this non-biology major in a way that makes hard concepts easy to understand. Of course, when I complimented her on that, she demurred by saying I made her job easier by being smrt. Pft.

    • Lefty Wright

      Strange that this article would be on a site that states their purpose is to show the liberal bias on university campuses. This directly contradicts the conservative thinking that gender and sex are the same and are determined strictly by the presence or absence of a Y chromosome. And in response to a conservative politician from Texas.

    • doktorzoom

      I like the way their watermark is so big and bold that not only will no one steal the images — of publicly available tweets — they’ve also rendered them difficult to read.

    • SeeTrainWrecked

      Funny the things you can learn when your head isn’t up your own ass.

      What they call “liberal bias,” we call “a well-rounded education.”

  • Jamoche

    From IRC:
    (my friend): A Twitter commercial about a man too stupid to know how to use Twitter? Seriously?
    (me): In this political climate? I think it’s been proven that’s not possible

    • phoenix00

      280 characters? Whoa…….

  • miss_grundy

    Well, if Flynn is a liar then what would you call Lord Dampnut? Gigantic liar?

    • Pisto75666

      A bigly gigantic liar!

  • Jennaratrix

    but once Flynn sings to Mueller, then obviously it’ll be time to throw him under any bus that might be handy, assuming it’s not being used to block reporters from seeing Trump golfing.

    SNORT.

  • danedg

    Waterboarding…. nothing else could make Micheal crack….

  • La forza del resistino

    Can’t wait to hear Flynn’s tenor as he sings like a lubricated Irishman on St Paddy’s day

    • Raan

      Wait, who’s going around oiling my people?

      • handyhippie65

        the fine people at guinness, i presume.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Oh, Donnie Boy, the Feds, the Feds are callin’…

      • kareemachan

        Flynn will take the low road
        And drumpf will take the lower road
        And both will end up in hell before us…

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Dasvidania Donald.

  • mailman27

    Please, God, let it be the pee tape. It won’t be the pee tape.
    See, this is just why God’s credibility is in the crapper, if you ask me.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      ♫ Let it please be pee, oh dear God
      It must be pee or I shall die
      Or I shall die
      Oh hello, hello my dear God
      It must be pee but it’s not pee
      Then what the hey?
      Caught anyway. ♫

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Hi, Joseph J. Flynn!

    Nice to meet you.

    a) Are you covered under the plea bargain deal?

    b) Got any financial transactions that you might want to keep secret with (hint, hint) certain parties?

    Because if a, no and if b, yes, your ass is grass.

  • JustDon’tSayHolidays

    Pardon him? Joe, buddy, you clearly don’t understand the concept of throwing someone under the bus. It’s not a reversible process. That’s why it’s not called “thrown under a lawn sprinkler.”

    • Maybe

      Unless it’s six feet under a lawn sprinkler.

      • JustDon’tSayHolidays

        With votes, as we say…

        • Maybe

          And with built-in compost.

  • JD Mulvey
  • Zyxomma

    Leading chants of Lock Her Up at campaign rallies is totally totalitarian. Not how one does democracy. Lock. Them. Up. AOT, K.

  • Maybe

    Of course Flynn is a liar. He worked for Trump. It’s a job requirement.

    • SeeTrainWrecked

      “Minimum Bribe Level?”

      “One turnip.”

  • schmannity

    Just as long as nobody was stupid enough to write down “We are meeting with Russia Thursday to violate election law, BYOB,” they should be in the clear, they figure.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Joe Flynn? He played Captain Binghamton in McHale’s Navy.

    True story. Before going to Hollywood, Joe was a cop with my grandfather in Youngstown, Ohio. Grampa had a photo of the two of them in uniform. When Flynn decided to quit the force and move to California to make it in the movie business, my grandfather advised him not to do it. He said Joe would be throwing away his career and a good job for nothing.

  • phoenix00

    Which Flynn is the stupid one again?

    • SeeTrainWrecked

      AOT,K.

      You really set yourself up for that one, phoenix.

      • phoenix00

        All that stupid blends together so well I can’t tell them apart anymore.

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