SHARE

Oh hi, it is the weekend now. As you are reading this, Donald Trump has either committed the Saturday Night Massacre on a Friday, or he hasn’t, we do not know, because we are at one million Christmas parties. If he HAS, then fuck! If he hasn’t, read this post and BE READY. OK, it is time to count down top 10 stories!

We’ll count them down in a sec, but first MONEY PARAGRAPH with a SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! If you currently subscribe to Wonkette via Amazon, you need to know Amazon has fucked yr Wonkette and deleted our account for “reasons.” So please to go re-sign up with either PayPal or Stripe? Thank you we love you! 

Now, for the regular money part. You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE! So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able — DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT — then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 361, Polson MT 59860 (new P.O box address! Update your address book!). Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

For instance, you could BUY ALL THE HATS! One says “IMPEACH!” (See below.) The others say “HELL. NO.” AND “LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE 2020.” Click here for more info!

There are many other products in Ye Olde Wonkette Generale Store! You should buy them!

Look, it’s the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Trump Hands Kirsten Gillibrand Knife, Begs Her To Chop Off His Peener. CHRIST, what an asshole.

2. Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s Press Briefing Was Fuckin’ Weird Today. Well it was.

3. Roy Moore Supporters Just Dunning-Krugered The Hell Out Of This Focus Group. They sure did!

4. … And The Fucking Horse Roy Moore Rode In On. The election results post where we found out DOUG JONES WINNED!

5. How Did Trump Family Survive All This Time Without People Reminding Them To Breathe? Come to think of it, maybe they DO pay somebody to remind them.

6. Let Us Frolic In This Bath Of Right-Wing Tears, Alabama Senate Election Edition. Hooray!

7. Trump Officially Less Popular Than Ass Lice, And We Have Women To Thank! Thanks, women!

8. Tomi Lahren So Mad At All Those Roy Moore Accuser Ladies, She Could Just Scream! Oh, Tomi!

9. Fox News And GOP Expose Robert Mueller As Kenyan Obama Gay From Hillary-Town, It Is Just So Obvious. The GOP/Fox attacks on Robert Mueller are EXHAUSTING, but they’re also very important. What did we say above about paying attention and being ready to hit the streets if we have a Saturday Night Massacre?

10. DOUG JONES WINS, ROLL TIDE, And Also, We DAMN WELL TOLD YOU SO! We damn well did!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

Now you get two (2) more Wonkette toddler pictures, because you are good!

OK bye.

Yours in Christ,

Wonkette

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Are you a good Wonker who sends us money by Amazon? Well not anymore you’re not, because Amazon done fucked our payment system. Would you be so great as to re-sign with Paypal or Stripe? K we love you bye.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • msanthropesmr

    DONNA ROSE – WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO!

  • miss_grundy

    If Dotard thinks that massacring Mueller on a Saturday night will go well for him, then he is even stupider than stupid. It didn’t end well for Nixon and it won’t end well for him either. And the more he praises that asshole Putin, the more he makes people believe he is hiding something.

    • Nockular cavity

      Plus, the more the fascist media screams about FBI agents that had it in for him, the more people are thinking “Sure, because THEY WERE COUNTERINTELLIGENCE AGENTS WHO THOUGHT TRUMP WAS A RUSSIAN ASSET.” So keep pulling on that thread, Fox News.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh you sweet summer child… Nixon could only dream he had the depraved, debased, degenerates that are the modern Republican party…

    • SterWonk

      The Saturday Night Massacre was in 1973.

      1: Both the Senate and the House had Democratic majorities.

      2: Even still, Nixon wasn’t actually impeached until nine months later.

      Who can say what the GOP of ’73 would have done had they been in the majority at that time? Who can say what the current GOP would do if Trump pulled a Saturday Night Massacre now?

  • Nounverb911
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Their thoughts in that picture:
      Trump: “Oh God, that birthmark is so GROSS!”
      Gorbachev: “This one is very stupid. We can use him.”

      • Daniel

        Trump: Ha! You’re bald and have weird colouring on your skin!

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          “You’ll give me tons of money if I abandon any sense of decency for you? SCORE!” – DJT

      • SterWonk

        Gorbachev != Putin

  • Nounverb911

    And now for your ‘National Geographic’ moment

    https://twitter.com/twitmericks/status/942017063891193856

    • eyelashviper

      Roy Moore’s uncle…

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Surely Moore doesn’t believe in evolution. He’s not related to monkeys. (The monkeys are very glad of that.)

    • Beanz&Berryz

      A monkey on your back, with a twist…

    • eggs ackly-wright

      ♫ I’m a flea-bit peanut monkey,
      All my friends are junkies…♫

      • puredog

        That’s not really true.

    • The Wanderer

      Monkeyshines! He’s not showing good posture, and the deer’s all like “WTF?”

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘I was just standing there, when the deer backed on to my groin.’

    • Msgr_MΩment
    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      ‘So how was he?’
      ‘Not bad, but I think I’ll go back to bucks.’

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Maybe the RWNJs will stop blaming everyone who is not-them for hurricanes and tornadoes and blame the monkeys and deer instead.

  • Nounverb911
    • Edith Prickly

      OMG, are they flirting? LOL

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Little do they know that Spring Steen is a Mannheim Steamroller cover band specializing in songs from the Rites of Spring.

  • BMW

    Did you hear Robert Mueller’s cousin once met a guy whose cousin’s third grade teacher once sat on a bus with a woman who knew Hillary Clinton’s mom? We better close the Russia investigation!

    • Edith Prickly

      And what did she know about Benghazi, HENNGGHH??

      • BMW

        HENNGGHH, indeed!

  • VirginiaCannedYuleLog

    Why are we so focused on impeachment? Wouldn’t getting the jackazz arrested for high treason take care of the problem? Especially if his was one of around 50 arrests made at the same time? It would drain the swamp and kerp it drained if there was no offer of bail. Impeach after arrest if you must, but this crap has got to stop now.

    • Major^3 Andre

      I’m not a constitutional lawyer or scholar, too busy doing math and science and fun stuff, but I believe it is murky at best whether the sitting Preznint can be arrested. I believe they have to impeach his ass, then nail the carcass to the wall afterwards.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        IMHO: They can, we have back-ups.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Agreed. A perp parade of aides, advisors, family, and cabinet members out of the White House first; then impeachment; then arrest his bloated, rotting (but living) body out while Pennsylvania Avenue is lined with more people than attended his inauguration chanting, “LOCK HIM UP!”

        • Major^3 Andre

          After reading that, I’ll be in my bunk.

        • bupkus231

          …and have that perp walk end at a tumbrel to take him away ( he’d never make the walk down the length of Pennsylvania Avenue, which will be needed to accommodate as the people throwing rotting produce at him…. )

          • Celtic_Gnome

            He couldn’t make the walk down Pennsylvania Avenue even if there were no flung rotten produce. Not without a scooter, anyway.

      • VirginiaCannedYuleLog

        If not arrested how about detained for questioning? For many years?

    • Snork Maiden

      Rachel Maddow did a great hour last night with four lawyers explaining all the things involved. Well worth a watch

      • VirginiaCannedYuleLog

        I shall try to do this. In the meantime, desperate times call for creative actions.

  • TimResistit

    Adopting a stray kitten. Christmas is already here and it’s a very cute Christmas.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/223506839c7fe662f09a47ef83159d6371a8c068e0c5584aa8ce57247746d641.jpg

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      What a little sweetie! I’ve been thinking about getting another myself.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘I came for the food, and decided to stay because of the free wifi.’

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Whaaaaat? That is the cutest little floofy thing! And she looks like she’s setting into her new surroundings quite comfortably.

    • TimResistit

      Poor little dude was found at around 3am in 16 degrees weather under my friends porch, all alone crying like crazy. She coaxed him out finally and brought him inside. And he’s so grateful it’s almost painful. He seems in good shape, ear clean, poopies are normal looking and is going to the vet Monday.

      “Caesar” says “Hello”, and “IMPEEECH!1

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        caesar!!! Super cute and awesome cat and story.

      • Somewhat Damaged Ron

        Never met a rescue cat who wasn’t wonderful.
        Have I been leading a sheltered life?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Ave, Caesar!

    • coozledad

      MONSTROUS.

    • Edith Prickly

      I see a lot of personality there. Congrats on Christmas kitteh!

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      ‘Oh hai. Did U need to use my laptop?’

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        “‘Oh hai. Did U need to use my laptop belly warmer?’

        FIFY

        • Somewhat Damaged Ron

          So THAT’S why they like snoozing on the keyboards!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            “also makez gud buttz warmer.” – Bastard Cat

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Looks like a Sweetie! Also, fur, fur, everywhere! Miss Pepper says you’d better pick up a wire-bristle brush while you’re out.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        http://www.furminator.com/
        I am currently lacking a kitty :(
        but the furminator changed my life.
        I know I’m basically posting an ad, but I think I have at least a little bit of credibility here and I can’t recommend this thing enough so fuck it.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          That looks really great and Miss Pepper of the long hair and thick undercoat is definitely a candidate, but the price would be a big ouch for us.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I hear ya. Maybe check like Craigslist, or if there’s one of those freegan exchanges in your area?

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Good idea. Couldn’t hurt to keep an eye out.

        • I’ll back you up on that. The Furminator is one of those rare things that does what it’s advertised to do. It was worth every penny we spent on it.

    • Blackest Noobs

      looks like a very happy kitty!

    • Blackest Noobs

      everyone knows the best with ‘puters are cats and koreans.
      if you ever come across a korean cat, beware, that is the Master Control Kitty.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Sweetie!

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      That’s one happy kitteh! Congrats!

    • SadDemInTex

      Merry Catmas. You are a great person and that cat is adorable!!!

    • wait! what?

      I always KNEW they typed with their back feet…

  • amrak63

    RE: Donna Rose: SQUEEEEEE *klunk*

    Meanwhile: Lance Mannion posted this Nov. 12, but despite Moore’s defeat, it remains all too relevant.

    http://lancemannion.typepad.com/lance_mannion/2017/12/notes-on-roy-moores-tribe.html

    • amrak63

      Thanks to Roy Moore’s Tribe, and the McDucks (and now, Russians) who manipulate them, we have sunk from PUTTING MEN ON THE FUCKING MOON to this.

    • shivaskeeper

      That is a very good description of the mindset.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I’m hoping Mueller is planning to make his next round of indictments a massive one. Don Jr, Jared, Pence and Sessions all at once would be good. He needs to make it so big that it becomes all but impossible for the Republicans to give Trump any political cover if he reacts (as he almost certainly will) by trying to stage his own Saturday Night Massacre.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      “Special Counsel, the president has just called for your firing.”
      “Release the indictments.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      DT: What’s this about Mueller wanting to add me to the dictionary?
      MP: Sir, i-n-d-i-c-t is pronounced “in dite”, it has nothing to to do with “dict” as in diction or dictionary or dictate or…
      DT: Why can’t a fancy Washington lawyer spell it right then?
      MP: That is the correct spelling sir.
      DT: If the President says it’s spelled wrong. It’s spelled wrong. You’re fired!
      MP: Yes, sir. See you tomorrow sir.

    • eyelashviper

      It’s not reindeer hooves on your roof, it’s the FBI special elite troops to haul your asses away, away, away…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, apparently “principled Republican” Bob Corker has decided to vote for the tax cut bill after all, now that his vote is actually needed to pass the damn thing.

    What a dick.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He’s the Jeff Flake of Tennessee. Never EVER trust these motherfuckers. If they help an old lady cross the street, there’s some malign, chickenshit motivation behind it.

      • ariel_gee_398

        He’s like Max Bialystock without the flop sweat.

      • coozledad

        Just look at the pompadours on the skeevy bastards. They were born to preen.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    Religious Right behind CDC word censorship? https://twitter.com/Brasilmagic/status/942051699107262464

    • Catstro

      Fetus didn’t tip you off? That HAS to be Pence’s doing.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Don’t forget “Evidence-Based” and “Science-Based”.

    • amrak63
      • eyelashviper

        Love this!

    • bupkus231

      Publicizing this “ban” is the right FIRST step. The next step is to totally resist this edict – and fuck the highers-up who decreed it ( Hey, they can’t fire everybody, riiight? )

      Evidence-based , evidence-based, evidence-based….

      Fetus, fetus, fetus, fetus….

      Finally – a BIG “fuck you” to all your assholes trying to doublespeak your way around your basic ignorance and incompetence.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Would they be OK if they spelled it foetus? A perfectly correct alternative spelling.

      • Travalanche

        “they can’t fire everybody”

        I have lost faith that that is a true statement. I think they can and they would, at this point.

    • TJ Barke

      No shit…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      From another article, “the analysts were given alternative phrases. Instead of “science-based” or “evidence-based,” the suggested phrase is “CDC bases its recommendations on science in consideration with community standards and wishes,” the person said.”

      In some reading I did about Bibble history, there was one 20th century version, based on the then-latest available historical works, that deviated too much from previous versions of the Bibble. In a backlash version, they put back in some of the stuff that was old and familiar, but not based on the best-available historical materials. The intro to the backlash version also too said something like: “This new version is based on the bast-available historical works, and also what people expect the Bibble to say.”

      We’re entering the Bibblical era of American science.

      • bupkus231

        Well, we all know that “community standards” are never wrong….

        • Beanz&Berryz

          And basing belief on what the (correct) community believes it wants to believe is the Way to Truth

    • Mary Theresa

      “science-based” or “evidence-based,” to be referred to as “thoughts and prayers”.

    • Edith Prickly

      Was there ever any question?

    • shivaskeeper

      Banned words include Science Based/Evidence Based, Fetus, and Transgendered. Did you doubt the Religious Right was behind this?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Quick! Call the ACLU! This shit has First Amendment violation written all over it.

    • Christopher Story

      I hope the CDC tells them to fuck right off with that bullshit

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Aw, little Ms Snowangel! 😇

  • Major^3 Andre

    For the foreseeable future, can we make a concerted effort to remove “right” from the list of words synonymous with “correct”?

    • Ling Ling

      Stuck on eliminating “very”

    • Catstro

      Catstro is on it, only if because I’m trying to teach my little kid directions in the hopes that she won’t get lost on the way to the grocery store like her dad (she can already direct him to the co-op, I’m so proud) and it’s a confusing homonym.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I think this is very unfair of Dumbass. Roy is in the middle of grifting funds to recount and throw out all of the ill-eagle votes, and now Donnie is undermining his efforts. Sad!
    https://twitter.com/politico/status/942059274330664960?s=17

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Trump is only saying this in service of the lie he is creating that he ever endorsed Moore in the first place. Wait for it.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Oh, I have no doubts about that. His ego won’t let him admit he’s backed another loser, as it reflects badly on his own popularity. And because everything is about him, the grand narcissist.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          that…and he doesn’t wannna compete with any body else on the massive grift.

      • shivaskeeper

        He didn’t back Moore. Not really. He backed Strange. He was forced to backtrack on that to try and secure a vote in Congress. That is not going to sit well with him.

    • TimResistit

      When you’ve lost the pedo in chief, it’s over.

    • shivaskeeper

      He never supported Moore. Strange was his pick. In his mind Moore fucked this up by not getting out of the way of his pick. He will be vindictive enough to try to fuck up the recount grift.

      If for no other reason, then just because he was forced to second guess/support someone who he personally did not pick.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Well, yes and no. Certainly in the beginning he preferred Strange, over Bannon’s recommendation of Moore. And then he threw Strange under a bus when Strange lost. And then he did tweet that stupid no-Pelosi lib dem tweet in support of Moore after the polling looked like Moore would win. My read here is that he kept trying to align with whomever would win to prop up his own narcissism and take credit for the victories, and it keeps biting him in the ass, because it forces him to admit he’s not as popular as he believes. So then the failures of his chosen candidates become the cudgel he can beat them with to shirk off his own failings. He’s pretty fucking pathetic.

        • shivaskeeper

          No doubt he was trying to align with whoever was going to win. He needs the votes. His agenda is stalled for the most part. No big wins for him or the GOPers in a year. Nothing that has not been challenged in court before the ink is dry and almost all of it shot down by the courts.

          He had no choice but to back Moore. But this is a guy who is never wrong. It’s part of his mindset. He choose Strange out of the gate. He was wrong there. He backed Moore because he had to and he was wrong there too. If Moore had gotten out of the race as soon as Two Scoops endorsed Strange, there is no way Strange would have lost. Trump knows this. This being wrong twice in one race was all the fault of Moore.

          So of course he’s going to fuck up the grift for the recount. Of course he’s going to tell Moore to just go away. Moore is the reason Trump was wrong.

    • efoveks

      Now Roy Moore is raining on Trump’s parade and has outlived his usefulness.

      Let the Murdering begin! And this time, quite literally with votes!

  • Ling Ling
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Donnies doing good. Normally presidents don’t get such low approval ratings until about the end of their third year.

      • efoveks

        Who knew winning looked like THIS??

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He’s advanced.

  • coozledad

    Cornyn says he doesn’t believe a majority of Americans will be upset if Trump fires Mueller.

    Jackals, all of them. Not worth the rags on their backs.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Pitchforks, torches, and guillotines, oh my.

      • coozledad

        Human wave through the Rose Garden door.

      • TexasDumb

        i love pitchforks! Hey, does anyone know where the Mercer’s live?

        • coozledad

          Corner of Whitebread and the ninth circle of hell.

          • Wonky McUbtrye

            So, Connecticut?

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I know their yacht has special sensors on it. And it is parked last I knew in Seattle.

    • I alone will make up for those that Cornyn miscounted.

      • coozledad

        Read Tim Tyson’s Blood Done Sign My Name
        It’s a good primer on fucking their shit up.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He means the majority of Americans he cares about…Real Americans, the people of the land. The common clay of America. You know… morons.

      • coozledad

        Second generation white trash humping each other at the country club. Brown liquor drunk by three in the afternoon. Gunts like eighty pound sacks of flour. Heads full of shit.

      • Blackest Noobs

        the 32% (who vote)

        just imagined if people who don’t vote, voted ( Virginia, NJ, and AL knows what happens when people who didnt usually vote, voted)

    • shivaskeeper

      Since no one can be an American unless they support Trump, he may be right. I can see the majority of Trump supporters not being upset. The rest of us however, the ones who outnumber them even if Cornyn doesn’t want to count us, will be pretty pissed off.

      • weejee

        tRump’s a rich-enabled draft-dodging motherfucker.

        / truth in posting, I was part of the 5′-7″ and under tunnel fodder in Vietnam

        • shivaskeeper

          He’s still seen as one of them. One of the Real ‘Murkins.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            To the reality-challenged, yes.

          • shivaskeeper

            Immaterial. Right now they control the narrative regarding patriotism and being a real American.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I wish you did not have a point even though they are Nationalists, not Patriots. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53c90098d9dadcc2bfa55758e60260cd466056a431851579977b11af00904865.png

          • shivaskeeper

            I know the difference. You know the difference. Most everyone on this site knows the difference. It’s still immaterial right now.

            For 39-40 years or so the GOP and the right have controlled the narrative about who is and what actions are patriotic. They have controlled the narrative about which people are enemies of the patriots. They have controlled what “support the troops” means, what “support law enforcement” means, what “support the country” means.

            This is some of the inevitable fallout of letting one side control all the narrative. This is what happens when we let the insane dictate the terminology and how it can and will be used.

            This is not one short step removed from the CD not being able to use the word fetus. If you let anyone else define the terns strictly how they want there is no way to stop them from changing the meaning anytime it suits them.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            The question is how do we fix this? And can it be fixed?

          • shivaskeeper

            The simplest answer is to stop playing the game by their rules. It will take time and concerted effort. None it was able to be changed overnight. None of it will change back overnight.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            All good points and very realistic in approach.

          • shivaskeeper

            Time, to me, is the key. Not giving up when the going gets hard, or there is no victory in the first round. Not getting discouraged when there is no instant change.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I think you hit the nail on the head.There are too many people who seem to think the president can wave a magic wand and change will happen overnight.

          • shivaskeeper

            It’s not just the President. Too many on this side think change can happen overnight and get discouraged and quit when it doesn’t.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            It took a long time to get here that won’t happen overnight. Education is the key.

        • shivaskeeper

          Brutal job.

          I say it all the time. I have no issue with dodging the draft. None at all. My issue is with coming back later and being a chicken hawk and all kinds of pro-war. That’s what pisses me off.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Did I not fucking say, that the hearings are a clownshow and the dems are enablers? Schiff did not so much grow a spine as half a vertebra.

      One of the many problems with a two-party system is that there’s no concept of a party in opposition (shadow cabinet etc)

  • Somewhat Damaged Ron

    When you are a young, nothing tastes better than fresh snow.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I remember my 6th grade science teacher telling us not to eat snow because it had nuclear fallout out in it from atmospheric testing.

      • weejee

        My ma who grew-up in Winnetka on the north side of Chicago said they would run-out and eat snow on the first day it fell. Because after a day or two it was gray from the ash in the air from everyone burning coal in their furnace to heat their homes.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Wouldn’t that mean that you shouldn’t breathe, because the atmosphere has nuclear fallout in it from the atmospheric testing?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My mother was a nurse…she told us not to eat snow because it had sky bacteria in it. She also wouldn’t let us walk barefoot in mud puddles, or walk barefoot anywhere for that matter, in case we got polio or stepped on a nail and got blood poisoning or picked up ringworm from animal poo, and not to run with scissors in case we stabbed ourselves and died, and in fact we were told not to run anywhere in case we tripped and hit our heads and got concussion and died. Mud pies were a definite no-no, and she had very mixed feelings about climbing trees. That time I jumped off the roof of the house she nearly had a heart attack. Nurse Mothers take a lot of the fun out of being 4 years old. Do I need to say that I ignored her?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          My Mom used to tell us that we should never go into the ocean deeper than our knees, because we would be dragged out by the undertow and eaten by sharks.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Well, honestly, MOTHERS! You’d think we were somehow precious to them! Why is it my dad never warned me about anything? I suppose he knew my mother had that base covered.

          • coozledad

            Listen to your mother. I got dragged out and nurly drownt. There was a hurricane off the coast and the warning flags weren’t up.

            The ocean is hungry.

        • My mom is is certain if she were to ever to go to California, the moment her plane landed would be when there is a massive earthquake causing the state to break off

          • Angela Ruzzo

            If my mother had said that, my father would immediately have said “Well that would be a really good time to buy California real estate” and then my mother would have given him THAT LOOK and he would have gone to his workshop and hammered things for an hour.

        • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

          There was too many of us for my mom to keep track of. My designation was 5 of 11 from UniMatrix 001. We got away with everything.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Lucky you. I was the “afterthought” baby – I came after they thought about having more children for 10 years and gave up and then BING! along I came. I was the constant focus of half a dozen adult eyes every minute of my day, which is why I climbed a lot of trees to get away from them.

          • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

            I wouldn’t call you an afterthought. Some times trying too hard is a detriment. Perhaps once the stress of the pressure was off, they were more relaxed and things came naturally as they should.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Very true. But in my parent’s case I think it might have been a case of inadequate motivation. There was this local football game one weekend – local university playing Notre Dame, it was BIG and the local team WON! – and I think they got excited and had too much to drink, which did the trick.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Same here, youngest of 6, older two siblings were old enough to have been my father. What number were you?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Youngest of 4, with an 8-year gap. By the time I was 11, I was effectively an Only Child because my siblings had all left home. I had a school friend with 2 older brothers who were 20 and 18 years older than her, and my father had a youngest brother who was 19 years younger than him.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            8 years is huge gap. My mother somehow figured out how to space us out into three sets of five years between sets. My closest sib is 5 years apart.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It was almost a generational gap. My siblings were definitely “50’s” generation, and I was “60’s” generation. They grew up with Tony Bennett and Elvis and abstinence before marriage and segregation, and I grew up with The Beatles and the Rolling Stones and The Pill and integration. They also went to Catholic School, and I went to Public School, which made a HUGE difference.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yes, my sisters married the first men they had sex with. I did not.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            So did mine. So did my mother and all of my aunts and both grandmothers, and even one of my uncles who was very religious waited for marriage.

            Four of my aunts attended my mother’s funeral, and as we sat around afterwards, late at night, drinking wine and reminiscing, I asked them all if they had ever had an orgasm. Now, they all got married around age 17 or 18 to the first man who asked them, and they were all Good Catholics or Good Methodists who Waited For Marriage. There was a pause…and then 3 of them said “No.” The fourth one said “I don’t think so.” I told her “If you’d ever had one, you would know.” She said “Well, I enjoyed the cuddling bit afterwards.” I know my mother never had one, cause I asked her once. How sad and tragic.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            You hit the very crux of my thinking. I wondered how you would know if they were any good. Meaning in the orgasm giving department. how sad the woman did not experience one.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I think this is very common for millions of women around the world. Too many men are taught that “good” women don’t enjoy sex, so they don’t have to learn how to do it better, and too many women are taught the same thing. All my maternal relatives grew up in very religious households during very prudish eras and they were taught that sex was only for having babies, that they were not supposed to enjoy it. Then there were the young women with more active libidos who got married because it was the only way they could safely have sex without worrying about the shame of illegitimate babies, only to be disappointed with it once they got it.

            All I can say is that the first three men I had sex with were Not Very Good. I knew this from books I had read, including “The Joy of Sex” which I read from cover to cover with all my dorm mates when I was a freshman in college, and which we discussed at length. And then there was “Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask)” which came out when I was about 13, which I checked out from the library without telling my mother, and also “My Secret Garden” (about women’s sexual fantasies) which came out when I was in high school. My older female relatives didn’t have books like that to learn from.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yes, ever so much this. I was always a bit sexually precocious and a bit of a researcher. I read furiously on the subject to be the best at it that I could.

          • Maggielle

            There was a time (we’ll probably many times, but I read this in a book about the English Civil War) when a woman’s orgasm was a very important part of the act because it was thought to make good strong babies. Humans is weird.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I read that as well, they linked fertility to orgasms. And yes I agree with you. They have pretty much figured how human sexuality works and those silly regressives still make up all kinds of ridiculous things. It amazes me how many people don’t understand their own bodies.

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            I should hope you didn’t marry the first man they had sex with…it would lead to awkward holidays, that’s for sure…

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I’m sure Jerry Springer has a few of those on tap. I think he made a career out of it. Phrasing is everything isn’t it?

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            Oh, yes :) Not for nothing, wasn’t being picky, but was just exploiting phrasing for humor…

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I love your nym BTW.

          • Maggielle

            I have friends with a surprise third baby. They refer to her as the caboose. God, she’s in college now. Her older brother and sister doted on her.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My mother told me that when she was in the hospital holding me in her arms after I was born, and my father came to visit her, she told him “Thank you for this wonderful surprise present.” I felt all fuzzy and warm and happy when she said this. She always made me feel like a special gift.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          When I was 12 ish, the famz split a large house in Vermont for the holidays with some friends. Me and the other kid were reading Wilder’s Little House books, and given the plentiful supply of snow and maple syrup, we decided to try the pioneer version of ice cream.

          I got laryngitis for a week, it was awesome.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Definitely awesome. The closest I can come to that is the time I was 4 and I went out to use my grandparent’s outhouse and almost fell in it, which was NOT awesome.

          • Persistent Demme

            When we lived in Toronto, we went to a good ol’ fashioned “sugar shack” (place where they “make” maple syrup).
            They had some maple syrup that they had boiled and reduced over wood for hours, and made this with it.
            One of the best things I have ever had!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            OMG! The farm across the road had a sugar camp every winter. Absolute oral ecstasy (until I found an amenable partner several years later).

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Naw, you just have to watch out where the huskies go.

      • Cock Blockula

        Nowadays it’s CHEMTRAIL fallout!

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      I like mine with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top

      • efoveks

        Have you gotten any snow yet yourself, or is it just super cold?

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          Well. I am in the East and yes we have. A tiny bit. And it is cold but a warming trend. As for the West, I believe none at the Ranch.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    D’aaaaaawwwww ! how adorable. And with this outfit, you can’t really lose her.

  • TJ Barke

    Back to the 19th century.

    • Major^3 Andre

      The first half, also too. They’ve been pretending the second half never happened all along.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’d say that’s optimistic.

      • TJ Barke

        No, it’s definitely gotta be a time period where corporations existed and were allowed to hire mercenaries to murder American citizens.

        • georgiaburning

          The mercenaries were called pinkertons

          • TJ Barke

            Yeah, but they were still mercenaries.

          • georgiaburning

            Yes they were

  • Major^3 Andre

    So, ummmm, Maine, I know how you got suck with LePage, but maybe take a look at Collins now.
    https://twitter.com/RepWillBailey/status/942040364390731776

    • Wait a second, who da fuqu elected Will Bailey to anything?

      • TJ Barke

        Who’s Will Bailey?

    • Travalanche

      Well we can’t do shit about her for another few years so at this point we’re all just bombarding her with calls and emails.

      But fuck, I really thought she was going to be a break-Vote on this shit after the ACA thing…

    • SayItWithWookies

      If Susan Collins caves any harder she could be a Chilean copper mine.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    So wonks. GOOD MORNING!!!!!! What’s up? I have coffee and awaiting some news that Trump got peached, Pence caught with hooker, McConnell resigned, Ryan retired, Hillary challenges the election results, the second (or first you gentiles) coming occurred, and the Indians won the World Series….

    • Blackest Noobs

      i would John Wick my way to Donnie but i wouldn’t ever get my two scoops again if i did.

    • Christopher Story

      What do you put in your coffee?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        A cup

      • OutOfOrbit

        yeah!

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        A dab of 1/2 and 1/2. It is strong good stuff from Caribou, called Mahogany.

    • eyelashviper

      And all the billionaires in the world are pooling their money and giving it to us!!!
      (Wonketeers get first dibs)

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        Wow. That REALLY departs from reality.

        • eyelashviper

          I gotz really SPECIAL coffee…

          • Somewhat Damaged Ron

            Is there any actual coffee in it?

          • eyelashviper

            Always, with a bit of fun stuff…

    • The new Starbux LSD Blend?

    • Covfefe

      Indians winning the World Series? Don’t try to sell that idea to a publisher.

    • Parakeetist

      And I get a cat

  • Nounverb911
    • Blackest Noobs

      threat level midnight?

      • Wonky McUbtrye

        blackwatch plaid.

  • WomanInThePersistence
  • Nounverb911

    Introducing the ‘War on Christmas’ Christmas sweater.
    https://twitter.com/Randall_Stps/status/942029479563710464

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I want one!

    • Those words would be prominently placed if i were to wear that

      • shivaskeeper

        Show off.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Just to show solidarity today with the CDC, I would like this discussion to be evidence-based.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Go on…

  • Nounverb911
    • eyelashviper

      ‘Cept the Hoofwanker would try firing Mueller by yelling at the teevee until he passes out.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      speaking of which – headline in my region this morning says Texas is getting $136M to extend chip…which is nice given it was expected to run out this month and letters were to be expected to reach families riiiiight around Dec. 25th.

      • Ummm…from where is it getting the money?

        • Christopher Story

          Magic Congress turnips

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          IIRC, states running out of the money get it from the feds (I.e. congress – which is typical, Congress hasn’t renewed the program, but it approving emergency requests for funding? I”m not sure if that is how it works, I haven’t been following it).

          • SayItWithWookies

            Didn’t hear anything about Congress doing something about it. Probably taking the money from Medicare.

        • Wonderin if that is hidden in the tax bill. Bribery is awesome

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Where most Federal money comes from, California. You’re welcome. :)

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Isn’t that illegal to single out one state?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Oops sorry, I meant to post to Tacos.

    • pstokk

      You forgot the part where they bomb Iranian ports, or airfields, or something. TO make it impossible for Congress to resist the Mueller firing. So sounds like 21/12 for the bombing.

    • Blackest Noobs

      well tough luck with that for Trump cuz Rosenstein would have think there is good cause for it…..one agent’s tweets/emails isn’t fucking enough and pretty thin…VERY THIN.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      He will fire him the night of 12/24 so no one will protest the next day.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I bet Dave Grohl would do it.

      • bupkus231

        It would be kinda hard to get Michael Jackson to do “Eat it”….

        • Somewhat Damaged Ron

          How about that Navi guy?

        • We could ask janet?

        • SadDemInTex

          Not to mention Cobain

    • Christopher Story

      This is brilliant!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      White and Nerdy!

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      The polkas would be EPIC.

    • Christopher Story

      I would die to hear Madonna do “Like a Surgeon,” and Coolio perform “Amish Paradise.”

    • Ling Ling

      Only one wife. Pfffttt…

    • OutOfOrbit

      what they find funny in that?

      • Merely a metaphorical belly laff…

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I got an interesting email today from the online store where I buy and download TurboTax every January. The email said “Click here to download TurboTax 2018 today! Buy today and save $5!” How can TurboTax possibly have their 2018 software updated if the GOP tax bill hasn’t passed yet? Answer: they can’t, so there would be a huge update in January.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Just a wild guess here. Would the updates be free, or would you have to pay for them?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        discount?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        in my experience they’re free – it’s one of their selling points, everytime you open the program it goes looking for the latest changes to the tax code or osme shit.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Updates are free for both federal and your specific state taxes. You get ONE state free, if you need more you have to pay a little bit extra for the additional state(s).

    • eyelashviper

      The software basically sez “you’re soooo skrewed”

    • shivaskeeper

      There is no need to update the software for the 2017 tax season. That is the one that is going to filed for. Unless there are provisions that are going t be made retroactive into 2017 there is no issue.

      • Somewhat Damaged Ron

        Were they not talking about retroactive changes?

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          I’m dreaming of a retroactive change to last November.

        • shivaskeeper

          Maybe. I don;t think they know what’s in the bill either.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They always make SOMETHING retroactive. Every year that I can remember, there was some change in January, often at the state level, that forced TurboTax to issue an update. One would think they couldn’t do that, but they can.

        Also, if they make big changes in the 2018 tax laws, it might affect how one chooses to file one’s 2017 taxes.

        • shivaskeeper

          Good points. I usually to married filing jointly, No state income tax where I live. I don;t think I’ve ever filed a state return.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I get slightly annoyed every year when my finished return says I owe some money to the feds, but owe nothing to my state or even get a refund from them. I get a lot more benefit from my state and local government in my daily life than I do from the feds – i.e. roads, schools, hospitals, bridges – so I would actually not mind paying a bit MORE to my state. Not a lot, just a bit. Our real estate taxes are higher in my county than in many other counties, but in exchange we get some of the best public schools and public libraries in the state. You get what you pay for.

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      My BFF is a tax accountant. (He loves the job. I have no idea why.) Starting in September of every year he starts learning all the new changes… and as tax season progresses there are often MORE changes that have to be accounted (sorry) for.
      And he not only knows the Canadian tax code backwards, but he has clients who pay American taxes as well, so he has to learn that too. I haven’t asked him yet how the clusterfuck in Washington is going to affect him. I’m a little afraid to.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      I have used TurboTax for years and they have updates all the way until April 15 and they have more after April 15. You can expect TurboTax 2018 updates to continue into 2019.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You are correct. I opened TurboTax a few months ago to check a figure I had entered on my 2016 return which I filed last February, and it told me there were updates, which I declined to download. Quite a lot of people have to file quarterly or get an extension (not me), so I suppose this is necessary.

    • Johnatx

      Won’t the taxes that we file in April, 2018 be based on our 2017 income?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes, but for example I have a neighbor who is disabled and uses a wheelchair, and who has contracted with a local firm to build a wheelchair ramp at her front and back door and add grab bars in her bathroom. She also needs to buy an oxygen concentrator (not cheap). She planned to pay for these things in April, but if the GOP tax bill passes she won’t get the medical deduction for these expenses next year, so she thinks maybe she should pay for them NOW. To pay for it now she will have to get a loan.

        I have another friend in a wheelchair who has applied for a low-interest state-funded “Assistive Technology” loan to buy a $7000 gadget that will allow him to transfer from his wheelchair to his truck. This is a tax-deductible medical expense. He has been waiting anxiously for the loan to be approved and the check to arrive so that he can pay for it in 2017.

        • Johnatx

          Thanks

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I keep trying to remember as sucky as this week was, there is still good. DR pix help. And a step away from the online world is needed too.

    It’s the golden hour at the chateau right now. And on the right, you can see that they are also doing a great job fixing up the abandoned mill building on the river (the nearby chocolate factory is going to expand their production there). https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/850d3b15b2276d3182747013786df658e0edf68644271c13bc503bfabd70e893.jpg

    • WomanInThePersistence

      No shame in taking a break. And remember, Alabama.

    • Persistent Demme

      Is that Chenonceau?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Ah, no, just the petite Château de La Rochefoucauld. Not nearly as well-known. But the Duke was well-regarded back-in-the-day for ideas shaping both the American and French revolutions. Their libraries are world-renowned.

  • Nounverb911
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      soooo, given all the rhetoric against Mexico in the last 13 months, is it possible this was a covert program by Mexcio and/or armies of the two nations will be mustering here along the border? Cause I’m thinking I could make good money selling upcharged candy bars and charging for parking oversized tanks.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        whoops, forgot the important bit:
        The agency has come under fire from lawmakers on both sides of the aisle in recent months for “underplaying” the risks to tourists traveling to Mexico and for not doing enough when U.S. citizens are injured or die while vacationing there. One U.S. senator called the department’s response to tourist troubles in Mexico “disingenuous.

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          OFFS. Dudebros and cool chicks fly down to Cancun and get wasted on tequila, and make fools of themselves at mariachi concerts because they’re wasted, and can’t handle parachute/water-skiing because they’re wasted, and scuba dive outfits won’t let them dive because they are wasted, and they wake up in puddles of their own vomit because they got wasted, and somehow the Messicans are to blame?

          • Ghenghis McCann

            They’re not wasted. They’re suffering from affluenza. It’s a genuine medical condition.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            to be TOTALLY fair (and having been wasted in Mexico a handful of times), this seems to be occurring after suspiciously small amounts of alcohol (if you believe their stories):

            Many of those injured reported drinking small to moderate amounts of alcohol before blacking out. The blackouts happened to young and older people alike, men and women, as well as to couples and friends. Often, two people reported blacking out and reawakening at the same time.

            A 2017 report by the Mexican government and liquor industry found as much as 36% of the alcohol consumed in Mexico is illicit, meaning it’s produced under unregulated conditions — ranging from bypassing proper taxing authorities to counterfeit manufacturing.

            and of course:

            The action comes amid an ongoing investigation by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, which since July has identified more than 120 cases of tourists who reported blacking out and being robbed, taken to jail, sexually assaulted and otherwise injured.

          • TundraGrifter

            Thank you for the only island of sanity discussing this topic.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh, credit goes to Milwaukee Journal. I haven’t heard about this – but we’re not on the border of the touristy, beachy, part of mexico.

          • TundraGrifter

            Unfortunately, this has been going on for years. I first learned about it from a couple of guys who worked on the California-Mexico booze cruise ships. They warned us about some of the tourist-oriented drinking establishments in ports such as Ensenada. Throwbacks to the Barbary Coast or the dives of Port Said.

          • Snork Maiden

            I actually know someone this happened to after one margarita.They luckily had friends meeting them for a meal and got them back to their room. These guys are not occasional drinkers and woke up feeling like they had the flu.

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          Problem is Repubs think “disingenuous” means really, really smart.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            “it’s got genius right in it!”

    • Phoenixdoglover

      You would not black out, if you got the electrolytes that plants crave.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      So instead of doing diplomacy stuff, they’re pandering to Donald’s bigotry. How very nice.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        The tweet is misleading. Apparently they’re tracking tainted alcohol in Mexico being drunk by tourists. This may possibly be the only not-horrible thing this State Dept is doing.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Good luck tracing my tequila black out incidents – I’ve been trying for years and can’t do it.

    • TundraGrifter

      Actually, in a weak attempt to be funny Wilson doesn’t understand. Many Mexican resorts that cater to binge vacation drinkers switch from tekillya to poisonous brews of various sorts. Some is basically used as a date rape drug. Other times for robbery or just to make more money.

      • Snork Maiden

        Right, but this has been going on for months, possibly years. Why the sudden decision to investigate

        • TundraGrifter

          Because enough is enough – the ugly incidents have piled up (including at least one American tourist drowning in a swimming pool).

    • Johnatx

      I can’t wait for Trump to go away so I can go back to despising Rick Wilson and his ilk. He would be perfectly happy with most of the shit that Trump is pulling, as long as he was polite. At his core, he is a motherfucker

  • Kneeling Bozilingus

    We need George Carlin again.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyBH5oNQOS0

  • Courser_Resistance

    OT: Kind of, but not really

    All good Wonkers NEED to read this report from the fucking United Nations!

    But I’m going to issue a ‘Trigger Warning’ kind of thing. I’ve had to take a break from reading because I’ve broken out into a clammy sweat and my hands are shaking. Yes, everything is as horrifying as we believe it is. Maybe even worse.

    The link below is direct to the United Nations website. Get it before it’s blocked by the new Net UN-Neutrality rules. (cuz yeah, you didn’t realize that they’ll now be able to block your access to ‘unapproved’ wesites?)

    Statement on Visit to the USA, by Professor Philip Alston, United Nations Special Rapporteur on extreme poverty and human rights*

    http://www.ohchr.org/EN/NewsEvents/Pages/DisplayNews.aspx?NewsID=22533&LangID=E

    • eyelashviper

      Thank you for posting this, I will share it elsewhere, but have to read it a bit at a time just to not go into a frothing rage. (I have to control myself daily, just to keep myself from keying the cars, or worse, of several nearby neighbors who had massive Trump signs and paraphernalia on their property even months after the election)
      Honestly, I can NEVER forgive Trump voters and Purity Ponies, for what they have unleashed upon the world.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Welcome! Yes, we need to spread this far and wide. Everyone who wants to leave the country need to cite this report. We’re being crushed here.

        Yeah, I had to take a break and make a cup of tea. I stomped around the apartment while the water boiled.

      • Persistent Demme

        Yes, I will NEVER forgive Trump voters and Purity Ponies.
        (There are some I will never speak to again either.)

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I think I heard him on the radio. I’m still so ducking angry about the dental thing in general that I can hardly contain my fury. I think it’s going to be my cause.

    • Jenny

      If only there could be sanctions over it. This is all stuff libtards know but when half of the voters willingly follow sociopaths, what can you do?

      • Courser_Resistance

        The final report comes out next May and I’m going to watching for it.

        The Orange McFuckstick Regime will probably pull us out of the UN because of the report. I’d love to see Human Rights violations come down the pike. Might the dreams of Sovereign Citizens come true and the UN send in troops to monitor our next election?

    • Snork Maiden

      There was coverage of this in the Guardian yesterday.

  • Blackest Noobs

    So Salon is doing the good news bad news thingy about Doug Jones’s win and what it means for Democrats in the midterms. i think they’re being wee bit too pessimistic.

    however the numbers peeps over at 538 don’t think so. this trend is looking very positive for Dems if current trends continue. in my book, i go with the numbers peeps, they’re not ALWAYS right, but they’re much closer to the mark than the dumbfucks at Salon.

    • Salon has gone full we need to embrace libertarians. Fuck them

      • shivaskeeper

        Nope, nope, nope. Some of them are going on about embracing the hardcore Bros too. Also a nope.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Reason all by itself for them to be wiped from the face of the earth.

      • Blackest Noobs

        yeah whenever i come across someone who identifies themselves as libertarian i say go fuck yourself which you obviously do since your politics is all about being a selfish fuck.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        They brought us Greenwald.

    • Travalanche

      I used to read Salon. I can’t pinpoint the moment, but there came a time when the only person I could stand reading was Marcotte

      Thankfully I came across Wonkette shortly after (via an article, in fact, talking shit on Salon!)

      • Blackest Noobs

        i go back and forth but i think when it went downhill was when they stopped displaying Tom Tomorrow cartoons

      • Phoenixdoglover

        They need an editor, and they need to get rid of some of the mean-girl alternet content. I gave up on them.

      • Snork Maiden

        I only read the Bob Cesca articles

  • bluicebank

    “FBI officials’ text message about Hillary Clinton said to be a cover story for romantic affair”
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/fbi-officials-text-message-about-hillary-clinton-said-to-be-a-cover-story-for-romantic-affair/2017/12/15/23205bee-e1b6-11e7-bbd0-9dfb2e37492a_story.html

    I knew it. The whole things was in code. Story doesn’t say that, but I’m saying that. Here’s my translations of FBI spyspeak:

    [Original] “Hillary Clinton just has to win.”
    [Translation] “Love me two times, one for today, one for tomorrow.”

    [Original] “This man cannot be president.”
    [Translation] “Cancel tonight’s hookup. I have to arrest someone.”

    [Original] “Donald Trump is an idiot.”
    [Translation] “Donald Trump is an idiot.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The third one is the kicker.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    So one of the cats puked, but was nice enough not to do it on a rug, so cleaning it ups is only half the pain in the ass it could have been.

    It struck as a good analogy for Trump’s administration…

    • shivaskeeper

      The cats really love you then. If they didn;t they would have found a part of the carpet that was hidden.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Nothing makes me happier than when the dog hurls on the hardwood (vs. my fine Persian carpets, aka, my prize possessions … that are the first things out of the house in event of fire, kinehora, kinehora, spit, spit, spit!)

      • Maggielle

        Heh. I learned it as “blee ein hara, blee ein hara” spit spit spit.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump doesn’t know Odorosa was fired until seeing it on the TV the next morning.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Assmouth doesn’t need to be told stuff — everything important is reported of Fox & Friends.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Kelly had had it with her…especially the going into the Oval Office and waking the baby shit.

    • NotReallyHere

      “Donald Trump is racial, but he is not a racist,” she said on ABC’s “Nightline.”

      What in the fucking hell is that supposed to mean??

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It means Odorosa is a ho.

      • Christopher Story

        “It’s not that he hates black people, he just thinks white people are superior in all ways.”

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i was thinking about this comment the other night, and now thinking about it in tandem with the CDC thing – it’s ironic given that these are people who claim to be straight-talking-damn-your-feelings tough guys.

      • Persistent Demme

        IK,R?
        Is it the Omorosa version of the white (and odious), “I like black people, I just don’t like n_CLANG___s!”

      • Timothy Watson

        It’s standard neo-Nazi rhetoric, “I’m not a racist, I’m a race realist!”

        • NotReallyHere

          Wow, I hadn’t heard that one before.

      • Flatulus

        In the words of Joan Rivers, “The mouth is the vagina of the face.”

    • shivaskeeper

      Horrible use of a cat. Bordering on animal cruelty.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        What about the poor slug that was used for his eyebrow? Invertebrates have rights too.

        • shivaskeeper

          Bordering on animal cruelty. It would be actual cruelty, but since cats don’t care what you think, it’s not. That’s the only saving grace here.

          • Maggielle

            You’re right, cat doesn’t care. He/she likes a graceful, beautiful pose, and may well be plotting something fun with the slug.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Ugliest fucking scratching post I’ve ever seen.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Too flattering.

    • BrianW

      Actually, without the cat that drawing looks a lot like the profile of Mussolini. And that certainly seems appropriate, somehow.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
      • Parakeetist

        Lol

  • shivaskeeper
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      puppie yoga…the upsidedown dog?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      That is some dedicated couch surfing. Hang ten, buddy!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        according to SK – the couches belong to the dogs – they just let him sit there (sometimes).

        • shivaskeeper

          Nah. They don’t take my seat. Mrs Keeper’s seat on the other hand…

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s a happy dog. Nice!

    • that’s ‘Dog’ for “Scrub My Belly!!!!!”

      • shivaskeeper

        Nope. He’s sleeping. Do not disturb.

  • Mary Theresa
    • Jack Tenhet

      The CDC should find a creative way to repeatedly use every one of those words in a report or ten.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        The censorship angle worries me as well. Also, it promotes inaccuracy in speech which is abhorrent to thinking, rational beings.

        • Jack Tenhet

          I agree. We need to be able to use clear, concise and agreed upon language. Cryptic terminology is detrimental to any scientific endeavor.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            It is also disingenuous to a fault.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It’s all part and parcel of the same thing, though. One being more egregious does not change the unacceptable nature of the other.

    • Ling Ling

      This is good point, they probably don’t read those reports.

    • BloviateMe
      • Christopher Story

        Sounds like every redneck I went to school with

      • shivaskeeper

        Except no one actually does that. The Christianists like to try to prove God exists and fail and then blame “science” for it.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Prezactly. They’re all busy trying to come up with “scientific” explanations for their superstitions. “Creation Science” is a good example of this.

          • shivaskeeper

            Yup.

          • Maggielle

            There’s belief and there’s science. They are unmixy things, but they are things that can be equally important to you in your life. They don’t cancel each other out.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Too subtle, too advanced a concept for these people who profess faith but constantly demonstrate they don’t have it.

      • proudgrampa

        Today, we are all science assholes.

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        Taking the other meaning of “prove” as in to test or challenge (think, proving ground) this makes more direct sense. They don’t like people walking around asking questions because they know their own explanations are Kleenex thin. Snowflakes gonna snowflake.

    • shivaskeeper

      The problem is the words are important. If for no other reason than letting the asshats who think the earth is 6000yrs old set the narrative conditions for scientific research is a bad fucking idea.

      • TootsStansbury

        And, in a free country, words aren’t fucking banned.

        • shivaskeeper

          Government reports are not part of the freedom of speech part though.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Pat Robertson actually came out and said in 2012 that the idea that the Earth is only 6000 years old is nonsense, which shocked many of his viewers. I was pretty shocked when I read that he said that, too. I notice in this article that some asshole says the dinosaurs were on Noah’s Ark – that must have been one BIG Ark, and I’d like to know how they kept the T-Rex from eating the other animals, and also who was in charge of cleaning up all the poo? Did they use lots of diapers of various sizes? And who washed the diapers? (the women, of course)
      https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/28/pat-robertson-creationism-earth-is-not-6000-years-old_n_2207275.html

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      It actually doesn’t matter what words they use since the underlying physical events are the same either way.

      “Mr President, since we’ve removed all the funding from ‘climate change’ and stopped working on it, we’ve had a breakthrough! It’s called ‘the Earth is getting fucking hotter theory’ and we think it could be really important for preparing for the future.”

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I thought I had escaped the White House spam mail. I thought wrong.

    “President Trump cuts red tape: On deregulation, winning 22-1

    – RealClearPolitics

    On Thursday, President Donald J. Trump gave Americans an update on his deregulation agenda in the Roosevelt Room of the White House. The President explained that in his first 11 months in office, his Administration has “canceled or delayed over 1,500 planned regulatory actions, more than any previous president, by far.”

    ————————-

    A new push against human trafficking on flights

    – The Wall Street Journal

    The Department of Homeland Security is helping U.S. airports and airlines educate their staffs about how to identify victims of human trafficking—and how to alert authorities without tipping off traffickers. The Wall Street Journal’s extensive report shows that this push is part of a growing effort to thwart human trafficking crimes in the United States.

    ————————-

    First lady hopes giving spirit continues through holidays

    – The Associated Press

    This week, First Lady Melania Trump visited a holiday toy drive sponsored by the U.S. Marine Corps to speak about the spirit of giving during the holiday season. The First Lady challenged Americans to continue pitching in beyond the Christmas holiday and into the new year, especially on behalf of those families affected by the recent hurricanes.”

    There’s more.

  • Jack Tenhet

    I splurged and bought the soundtrack from “The Shape of Water: by Alexandre Desplat and it is just gorgeous. The last six tracks are songs from the period the film is set in, one created for the film. “You’ll Never Know”, with vocals by Renee Fleming is just beautiful. Here’s a listen.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3Rn6TX6wAc

    • Zyxomma

      Thanks. That cleared the earworm. Renee Fleming will be singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” in the new version of Carousel on Broadway, and my cousin Craig Salstein, who’s taken a leave from ABT, will be dancing. Elder Sister bought tickets for the middle of March (when it’s still in previews) for herself, Younger Sister, and me. I played Louise in my one and only summer stock appearance, and Carousel’s one of my all-time-favorite musicals. I saw it live in Philadelphia as a young teen.

      • Jack Tenhet

        The most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard was Renee Flemming and Cecilia Bartoli singing the duettino sull’aria. It just doesn’t get much better than that.

  • Somewhat Damaged Ron

    The g/f asked me to pass this along:
    If/when the revolution comes and y’all storm the White House, could you PLEASE not damage the Rose Garden? She really likes roses and has visited it and thinks it’s superlative.
    Thanks!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      The British Ministry of Defence will update their plans of the White House that they’ve kept since the War of 1812. Trampling on someone’s garden is just not cricket.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Roses can be replanted.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Well, beg your pardon…

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Phoenixdoglover

      I could use some St. Alfonso’s pancakes right now.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Goddammit, naming a fuzzer blASTer mASTer is genius!

  • Jack Tenhet

    “Picture a courthouse with no fucking laws
    Picture a cathouse with no fucking whores
    Picture a shithouse with no fucking drains
    Picture a leader with no fucking brains”

    Damn right, Rog!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIiRMgF29eo

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I am grateful for:
    – My friends, who are so warm and smart and funny and awesome
    – A blue-skied, sunny day in Chicago
    – Marc Jacobs

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Here at 58 E. Longitude, I am grateful for:
      – The rain; its been 6 months
      – Talking to Mom on the phone
      – Imagining my granddaughter on Christmas morning

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      liar! I’ve been to chicago, there is no sun in December!

      ; p

      • It’s super sunny in ottawa, it is also cold as balls

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Nah, it doesn’t get really bad here until about February. Just in time for my birthday 😕

    • Maggielle

      I am grateful for a bright sunny day in Northern California with a brisk wind cleaning the air of inversion haze.

      I am afraid of a bright sunny day in Northern California with a brisk wind when we haven’t had any rain for weeks and weeks and weeks. Crossing my fingers.

    • Parakeetist

      I am grateful for my dog.

  • jesterpunk

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/12/14/trump-chose-five-families-to-show-how-the-tax-bill-benefits-them-their-stories-show-the-reality-is-complicated/?utm_term=.d299cf215839

    Bryant and Ashley Glick of New Holland, Pa., got a call Monday asking whether the couple would like to come to the White House and meet President Trump. They couldn’t say yes fast enough.

    By Wednesday, the Glicks were one of five families standing with Trump as the president made his “closing argument” in support of Republicans’ plan to overhaul the tax code. Trump heralded the bill as a “giant tax cut for Christmas,” and the families were chosen to demonstrate how the bill would be a boon to middle-class households everywhere.

    All five middle-class families would almost certainly pay less next year — savings each said would go toward home repairs and paying for college educations for their children. But their stories illustrate the uneven — and uncertain — benefits of the tax bill, especially when it comes to how much middle-class families will save and whether their wages will really increase.

    Of the five families spotlighted at the event Wednesday, The Washington Post was able to reach four. Three said they needed to go back and study the bill to really understand what is in it, but they trusted that Trump would deliver on his promises to the middle class.

    They trust Trump? Have they been paying attention to anything?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CYeq0LzUMAAKKtT.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      Those people are dumb, selfish, short sighted, simpletons.

      • Ling Ling

        You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay…

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          Clay or compost?

        • Bobathonic

          You know…

        • Ghenghis McCann

          They’re made from clay? Like Golems?

          • Ling Ling

            Help me out: are Golems related to Trolls?

          • Semi. But more magical.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Not on the Discworld. Not sure about Middle Earth.

          • Ling Ling

            I’m thinking not made from clay. More like animal manure.

          • TundraGrifter

            Hobbits.

          • Can we change their words?

          • Ghenghis McCann

            MAGA is a word?

          • We’ll get them real words

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            more like Gumby

          • theCryptofishist

            That explains the 666 on their foreheads.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          salt of the earth, also too

        • TundraGrifter

          Salt of the earth. And you know how crops grow after being salted.

          Or you can insert a fertilizer joke here.

          • suziq

            You salt the peanuts AFTER they are done with the growing!

          • Querolous

            “George Washington Carver is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice,”

        • Maggielle

          There is some comfort in knowing that one simple Alabama peanut farmer is woke.

          • theCryptofishist

            Peanut farmers seem to be enlightened.

        • LucindathePook

          Can you play with them after they are dry and ready?

        • Red Richmond

          You know…Morons.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        IOW the GOP base

      • Johnatx

        You’re way too generous

    • shivaskeeper

      Trust and Trump in the same sentence. Just… no. Fucking morans.

      • jesterpunk

        For the first family our congress critter is running ads saying we should thank him for $2300 tax cuts, Trump says $600 and even the papers here say how much it will help everyone and people believe it and wont listen to anyone telling them they are wrong. Yeah they are fucking morons.

        • shivaskeeper

          You’ll get a bigger cut if you are on the upper end of the new definition of middle class.

          Every single one of the fucks that vote for this need to be eviscerated at the polls. Driven from public life under the cloud of shame they have more than earned and not allowed back.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      that wild eyed woman in the front – since that picture was taken, I’ve tried to come up with a way to explain her expression and/or what she was thinking at the moment.

      It just hit me, she’s thinking, “I want me inside you!”

      • jesterpunk
      • Ling Ling

        I’ve often thought she was offering her first born to the dark lord per the agreement.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          ‘Take this one. There’s going to be plenty more where it came from, once you defund Planned Parenthood.’

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          to be totally honest, my first thought was she looks like one of those people who fantasize about being cannabalized…but that seemed kind dark for saturday morning.

          • Ling Ling

            Yet here we are on a dark Saturday morning….

          • suziq

            and then the murders began…

          • Maggielle

            I am now starting to fantasize that the photo was taken just a moment too soon, because if it had continued, her mouth would have kept opening and her inner lizard would become outer, and she’d have leaned over and devoured him whole. But I’m into alternative history as a genre.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            oh yeah, I could see it – “now that we’re alone in this dark alley, let me shed this earthly disguise and show you my true form!”

      • Blackest Noobs

        i was more thinking ” finally i can be the white person asshole i always aspired to be..thank you Trump for releasing my inner asshole”

      • TootsStansbury

        Give me the koolaid! Me! Me! Koolaid now my lord and master!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      These people deserve to be conned. They deserve to be taken to the cleaners. Hell, half of them will say “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

      • Ling Ling

        Completely agree. I spend a great deal of my commute time fantasizing about their money funding my retirement.

        • jesterpunk

          Retirement? Once the GOP gets done with their ratfucking you will be able to retire when your dead.

      • suziq

        They may deserve it but the rest of us will be getting screwed too.

      • jesterpunk

        I am half tempted to find the first family and tell them I will be getting a bigger tax cut then they will and I am a liberal who supports Hillary Clinton just to see their reaction to that. They all just want to piss off liberals and swear we dont work and just collect welfare while also controlling the media.

  • When your kids are young, its the perfect time to start that savings fund so they can get mental heath services when they grow up…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a58dd2cc9786b592e77294689edb29e3b7c29c2efcf90349f7787cb268a984a.gif

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Or spine and neck surgery.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      What do you mean? Looks like a perfectly normal kid. I would have done the same…. bad example, never mind.

    • Anna Rompage

      So, I’ll need to save enough during my youth to cover my college tuition, the massive medical bills I’ll rack up throughout my life, my $8k/month for assisted living bills once I’m too old to take care of myself, and about $100k per child to put them through college…

      No problem, I’ll just buy a struggling company, sell off all their assets, and raid their pension fund… that is all legal under these new GOP laws, isn’t it?

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Legal, hell! It’s compulsory.

      • William

        Don’t forget to LLC, pay yourself a handsome salary, then declare bankruptcy. Paying small business people who are owned money is for chumps

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda
      • William

        When I was a small child I wiped out on my bike coming down a hill no hands. I came crawling home crying. My Dad was sitting on the front porch. He looked at me, thoughtfully struck a match, lit his corncob pipe. Took a few puffs and said these words. “Son, always remember. If you’re going to be dumb, you gotta’ be tough”. Twenty years after his passing it is still our family motto. It appears on cups and T shirts. We wear the shirts to family gatherings.

        • William

          The family T shirt worn by my son during the mandatory water balloon fight on fathers day.https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c7b4d28570a5173e7498a9d9b90d73782e86e14ac68889868dad8eb8fc488c79.jpg

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            “the mandatory water balloon fight on fathers ”

            Cheaper than therapy.

          • William

            Despite predisposition towards acts of painful stupidy, number two son is an iron worker, walking on beams high in the air. I used to fly around in a plane built by the lowest bidder, and I drove a gasoline truck when I wasn’t doing my cop job.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh.

            No worries, dad once called me the dumbest smart kid he’d ever met.

            It was a compliment in his own weird way

          • Tishalicious

            We’d be pretty wealthy, I bet, if we got nickels for every time we heard that phrase ^_^

          • William

            Better than our airsoft phase. I learned that getting hit with airsoft projectiles is neither airy nor soft.

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          Are these items available on Redbubble?

          • William

            I don’t know. Had them made locally We are working on a coat of arms that includes a first aid kit crest and a guy sitting on the limb he is sawing. Looking to translate the family motto into Latin, but I’m a shitty Catholic.

          • Querolous

            “Muta enim oportet quod lenta”?

          • William

            My goofle translater shows it translated to “Change is not necessary that a slow business”. I wish I had paid attention in Catholic school Latin class instead of just lusting after my teacher, Sister Mary Ellen Thesaurus.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          You are not alone on that one, I still have the scars from the gravel.

    • William

      Or a good orthopedic professional. https://youtu.be/VBXKoZQwvDE

      • Ghenghis McCann

        No Darwin Award for him. He”l have to try harder.

    • theCryptofishist

      That poor kid. Although, she seems to take it in stride. I’ve already watched her a couple of dozen times.

  • Anna Rompage

    Yay, we now live in a brave world where the official term for a blastocyst, is baby!

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Our world is many things – brave ain’t one of them.

      • Johnatx

        I thought it was dirty socks

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I just read that load of shit, along with vulnerable, transgender and diversity.

  • Andrew Rheinheimer
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Does Modern Republicanism cause episodic brain malfunctions even in otherwise intelligent people?

    Greg Mankiw keeps making these kind of mistakes whenever Republican numbers don’t add up:

    https://twitter.com/Noahpinion/status/941904416491237376

    • proudgrampa

      “…episodic brain malfunctions…”

      Assumes brains not in evidence.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    A working class hero is something to be.

    https://twitter.com/greenhousenyt/status/942057119980949504

    • proudgrampa

      With friends like these, who needs enemies?

    • SayItWithWookies

      I’m sure advocating for increasing the child tax credit has nothing to do with Rubio having four kids.

    • yyyaz

      The quote sounds suspiciously like it came from the NYT. Idjits.

    • Raan

      A host on community radio yesterday called him “a profile in porridge”.

      • Somewhat Damaged Ron

        Oatmeal libel!

      • Querolous

        I would say “grits libel” but that’s unpossible.

        • Raan

          Despite spending fully 5/6ths of my life in Florida, I have never eaten a grit.

    • PubOption

      “They hate you if you’re clever and they despise a fool.” We don’t hate you, Marco.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      That’s what I get for being proud of a TN senator for ten seconds.

      Back to “perpetually embarrassed by my state” I go.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I live here too, and the same thing happened to me.

      • SadDemInTex

        Oh honey, I have Cornyn, Cruz, and Hensarling.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “I want to stand on my principles — oh, is that a check?”

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        That is why they protest, to get a bigger check.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      “I won’t vote for a tax bill that raises the deficit by even one penny.”……
      but if you raise it 1,499,000,000,000 that’s cool….Bob Corker

      • yyyaz

        *149,900,000,000,000 pennies*

    • Parakeetist

      Theft is a crime, yes?

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      They say every man has his price. I was kinda hoping his wasn’t so low.

    • calliecallie

      Wow. I am fucking disappointed. Greedy bastards.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I thought we had learned this lesson already? SMH

    https://twitter.com/NPR/status/942073855496962048

    • yyyaz

      The only thing we can learn from history is the hoi polloi learn nothing from history.

    • Parakeetist

      Vomit vomit oh shit no

      Assholes better not grow those tiny mustaches again.

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      Did they not try this once before? I’m sure I read about it somewhere.

  • Maclare’s Colosseum O’Crap🏛️

    So Wonkette related… I’m gonna order a bunch of shit from Amazon, some for work, some for personal, and I’ll be using the Wonkette Amazon link.

    Just double checking that they didn’t fuck that link up too, because reasons…

    • Maggielle

      Oh yeah, a good thing to double-check. I will await word before I do any Amazon ordering via the link. Thanks.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, important. I have last minute xmas gifts to buy.

  • Sophia
    • Ling Ling

      I completely agree w/the overall premise, but why doesn’t LCD = “least common divisor”?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      That’s an interesting experiment, and while the basic premise that students today do need affordable access to the Internet is absolutely true, the same thing was true 50 or 100 or 200 years ago when students needed to get information from books in the home, or in a school library or public library, which many students might not have had access to for financial or geographic or transportation reasons. The primary differences are that it takes longer to find the information in books, particularly if the book does not have an index, or has a crappy index, and it is much easier to find INCORRECT information on the Internet.

      I’ve got an ENORMOUS 1-volume encyclopedia that my mother bought from Book of the Month Club in 1966 (I use it these days mostly to flatten things), and I just looked up “LCD” in it. It is there, although the entry clearly requires updating. It took me less than a minute to find it.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    soooo, I’m watching Wormwood on Netflix. An Errol Morris docuseries about the bizarre case of the death of Dr. Olson, a participant in the MKUltra project.

    Perfect for me: a simple death and yet a complicated mystery in post-war WWII, Cold-war insanity….anyway, you might check it out.

  • Clay Denton

    Hey, kid, don’t eat the yellow snow!

    • Blackest Noobs

      it’s not lemon flavored?

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    With DR’s scarf hanging out below her jacket she looks like a tiny, old Jewish man ;-)

  • wait! what?
    • jesterpunk

      “We dont have the money for it, some assholes decided to massively increase the debt.”

    • Ling Ling

      Also… “moral hazard” (snicker)

    • Gosala

      Feature not bug

  • Wonky McUbtrye

    OT: I’m really struggling with the depression, and I have the opportunity to try that deal where they whack your brain with a magnet (TMS). The risk profile is minimal, so I’m going to go for it. Anyone here have experience with it?

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      It’s got to be better than ECT.

      • Wonky McUbtrye

        That’s what I’m hoping to avoid. I mean, if ECT helps, it’s better than this, but the anesthesia risks are notable, and being unable to drive for a few weeks would be really difficult. Definitely trying the magnet first.

        • Maggielle

          Probably a good plan, but as a backup (which I hope won’t be needed), ECT can be really effective.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Yeah, the main difficulty with ECT is you can’t drive during an index course and you need someone to drive you to and from appointments. It is very safe and effective; and it’s a life saver for people for whom the meds don’t work or have intolerable side effects.

        • Maggielle

          If you lived near me, I would totally help with the driving.

          • Wonky McUbtrye

            That’s very kind. Thank you for being good people.

        • Somewhat Damaged Ron

          In my case there was some unexpected memory loss. That was scary, and there’s STILL things I’m unsure about.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life. But I’ve never tried this. I hope it helps.

    • Mary Theresa

      I’ve read some positive reviews, but didn’t trace their origins. They actually sell them on line now.

      • Christopher Story

        National Geographic featured an article on addiction that prominently featured TMS and the success rates the studies have shown.
        NatGeo – 9/17

      • Wonky McUbtrye

        Those ones look sketchy to me! I feel like current strong enough to do something shouldn’t be used by an amateur, but I could be totally wrong.

    • wait! what?

      Have you tried amitriptyline? I’m on it for shingles related pain and depression and it’s helped out a lot.

      • Wonky McUbtrye

        You know, that’s one I’ve never tried. I’m adding to my list, thanks.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Sounds like horseshit to me.

      Source: medical physics at Oxford

      • Wonky McUbtrye

        This is why I was surprised it was an option. I first heard of it ten or fifteen years ago, and I filed it under “Crystals and Bologna.” But apparently, it’s done at a real hospital, under the supervision of a psychiatrist, covered by insurance. That doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed, but it suddenly seems a little more kosher?

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie
      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I stand corrected

    • Maggielle

      ETA: not that useful, and the articles are dated.
      I just did a TMS search on scienceblogs and here are the results. I have not yet checked them out but there may be something worthwhile here.
      http://scienceblogs.com/?s=TMS

    • little miss high and mighty

      Apostle flower tea, Chrysanthemum , long hikes, Hayden quartets, good confidence, rest,humor. Give the tv a break. and play.

      • TJ Barke

        Yeah, no.

      • theCryptofishist

        Oh, please, please, please, don’t do that to someone with depression. You don’t know what Wonky has tried, you don’t know how much energy Wonky has to put your program in effect, and–basically–when you do that to someone with depression, you’re being an asshole.

        • little miss high and mighty

          beats magnets, think?

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Maybe not. There appears to be actual scientific research on the treatment.

          • little miss high and mighty

            and the herbals mentioned are proven mood elevators
            think seratonin

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Herbals are drugs. They have side effects and they interact with other drugs, eg St Johns Wort is a MAO inhibitor.

          • little miss high and mighty

            always always keep your pr.caregiver abreast of your herbal intake.Be honest about all herbs.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Definitely. I know someone who had an epistaxis (nose bleed) that wouldn’t stop. Ended up needing cauterization. She was taking massive doses of ginko biloba which is an anticoagulent.

          • little miss high and mighty

            The classic amoung olds is bronchial or lung problems while they drink sassafrass or sasparilla tea or sodas, then they smoke or vapetobacco as well: ?

        • little miss high and mighty

          we were just trying to help
          St Johns and othe herbs are known mood ellevators
          Please. not nice to call someone an asshole on an intersuppportivre- positive mommy blog.
          Please be nice!

        • little miss high and mighty

          we were just trying to help
          Suggesting Mood elevation with herbs- being an asshole?
          It is definitely not nice to call someone (us) an asshole on a supposedly supportive, positive mommy blog and Wonky was asking for help.
          lease be nice (r).

      • suziq

        You know there is a difference between being a bit down in the dumps and REAL depression right? Anybody that is a decent human being is probably pretty stressed with the world situation but that is not the same as medical depression. Sometimes drugs and therapy help, sometimes more is needed.

    • suziq

      I have heard good things though not tried it myself. With minimal risk it seems it would be worth a try. Good luck, hope it helps!

    • Snork Maiden

      I have a bunch of friends who swear by kratom for their depressions. Two have successfully come off pharmaceutical stuff and feel great.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      There are research studies and a program where I work. My sense is not as effective as ECT but not as intrusive as far as no driving for a month, having to not eat or drink anything after midnight 3 times a week (until after the treatment), etc.

    • calliecallie

      Sending you good wishes and positive energy. Depression is a bummer. Hang in there.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • kareemachan

    That is one dayglo pink donation babby!

  • Christopher Story

    High Taxes and Less Social Spending Led to Nazi Party
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/high-taxes-and-less-social-spending-led-to-nazis-study/

    Damnit

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I’m reading a Huff Post article about the words Trump has banned the CDC from using, and I find the last line a bit disturbing: “…the nation cannot survive a steady diet of bullshit.”

    That’s all we’ve had now for 11 months, constant bullshit, and an incredible number of Americans seem to be tolerating it or even approving of it. I think the worst thing about our present political situation is that one half of Americans is being forced to realize and deal with the incredible depth of stupidity, ignorance, racism, sexism, intolerance and bigotry in the other half of Americans for the first time, in ways that significantly impact their personal lives, and also deal with the fact that America has been turning into an oligarchy for the past 30 years, and being forced to face these facts might or might not be a good thing. In the long run this is a good thing, but in the short run it is very painful and disruptive. We are the ones stuck in the short run.

    None of the articles I’ve read about the word banning state what the punishment is for ignoring the ban. If everyone at the CDC simply ignored it, what would happen? I see the Huff Post article mentions the fact that Stalin pulled shit like this, and we know what Stalin did if you broke his rules.
    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-administration-cdc-banned-words_us_5a348ed2e4b0ff955ad3221d?ncid=edlinkushpmg00000313

    • Ling Ling

      I think the context is “budget documents” which (to me) imply grant proposals, abstracts, etc. If you are begging for money, you might find the path easier using the approved vocabulary. Double plus good.

    • Gosala
    • Carpe Vagenda

      Ezra Klein is tweeting about how shocking it is to see Republicans not being populist friends of the working class like they promoted they were.

      • TJ Barke

        Has Ezra been subject to a lobotomy?

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I can’t decide if some people are born with lobotomies, or whether they have lobotomies thrust upon them.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I would imagine getting an nine figure investment from Comcast has a narcotizing effect, assuming you’re not Klein and Yglesias, who have been pretending to be stupid successfully enough to attract an nine figure investment from Comcast.

          But they’re still the third-best blogger who at Pandagon and the brocialist most likely to be hired by the Weymouth/Grahams to pimp George Bush’s plan to break the world as a ‘liberal’, respectively.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Unfortunately, “steady diet of bullshit” has just been added to the list.

    • PubOption

      The Alaska pipeline would give a much better return, if we didn’t have to pay the workers to build it.

    • proudgrampa

      “…Americans seem to be tolerating it or even approving of it.”

      I think the majority of Americans aren’t even aware of it. Case in point: my brother-in-law. He is just TOTALLY ignorant of EVERYTHING going on. He barely knows who Trump is. I think a lot of people are just willfully ignorant: they choose to not read, or even watch any TV news (a bad source, anyway). They are happy and somewhat proud of their ignorance.

      Ignorance is bliss.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        This is very true. I am constantly running into people of all ages who respond to a very bland comment from me about current events by saying “I don’t know anything about that…I don’t follow politics. I don’t understand it.”

        A considerable percentage of people don’t think more than a few hours ahead, or a few days ahead, or at most one paycheck ahead.

        I’ve got neighbors who bought a big house they didn’t need and could barely afford when they were in their mid-50’s. Now they are retired on less income, and they can’t afford the mortgage. I asked them, politely, diplomatically, choosing my words carefully, “Didn’t you think about this when you bought the house 10 years ago?” They said “No, we just wanted it, so we bought it. We didn’t think that far ahead.” They got suckered into taking out a 105% loan right before the market collapsed in 2008.

    • calliecallie

      I had to meet with some FHWA folks the other day. They very pointedly wished me a Merry Christmas. I honestly thought it odd at the time. I wonder if that is on the list too. I didn’t read the article.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I don’t think that is on the list, which contains “scientific” words. Almost everyone I know says “Merry Christmas”. My Jewish and Muslim and Hindu and Buddhist friends and relatives say “Merry Christmas” all the time. The only people I have encountered who make an issue of this are right-wing fundamentalist Christians, and a few of my more militant Wiccan friends, who insist that Christians stole their Midwinter Solstice holiday. This doesn’t bother me, because they are right.

        • Querolous

          Only eight more shopping hours ’till Saturnalia! And it lasts for a whole week!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Huzzah!

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    I’m so ready for this year to be over. Christmas has been too exhausting without my mom, so I haven’t really had one since, like, 2010. Which means I’m spending the rest of this month waiting for Jan 1 and pretending things will magically change for the better, and I’ll be able to become a less pathetic excuse for a human being, once this clusterfuck of a year is done.

    15 days to go. Fingers crossed for no apocalypse.

    • Wonky McUbtrye

      Same boat, much sympathy.

    • Maggielle

      Hugs (unless you hate them, in which case, air hugs). Please try to do a few nice things for yourself.

    • gallbladder

      Go easy on yourself.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Self help … go do something you enjoy, and use your experience to remember those who are no longer with you. Share that experience with them, even when you can’t say it directly to them. I find some times talking to people who have moved on (in whatever way) allows me to enjoy things as if they were there.

      But make something you enjoy and want to share …

    • Younevercantell.

      Take care and be patient with your self. Do positive things. However I find watching all 40 bowl games is not that helpful.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Hang in there, I miss my mom too.

  • Blackest Noobs

    my code name is Knives

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      “Knives. Blunt Knives”?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      You get a code name?! Lucky bastard. I’m simply known as “generic drone.” Also, should I be worried that they’ve assigned me a red shirt?

      • wait! what?

        Then you could be nicknamed GMDA which sounds like some sort of movie rating:
        Serious context ahead
        But you’ll laugh
        And then think

      • Blackest Noobs

        exchange it for a yellow shirt, if one is not available, punch a yellow shirt and steal his yellow shirt.

    • wait! what?

      You were awesome in “Scott Pilgrim vs the World.”

  • Michael R

    The word ” deplorable ” is in the Grinch song

    Your soul is an appalling dump heap
    Overflowing with the most disgraceful
    Assortment of deplorable rubbish
    Imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Hj3U18FHgQ&t=2m09s

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      Though unlike the Trumpanzees, he was redeemable in the end.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – Google is dumb

    I’m trying to find a no sugar added dessert for Prima Momma for tomorrow without having to go to the store tonight, but it keeps sending me to bakeries that don’t have no sugar added bakeries because they have “sugar” and “free” in separate locations on their sites. the only thing you can really do is go to an allergen sensitive bakery and am I really to deny Prima Momma both gluten and sugar? boo.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Toss the word “recipe” in your search, maybe?

      • Panika MCD

        that would involve going to the store today/tonight.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Ah, gotcha. You were looking for bakeries. In that case, put “sugar-free” in quotes in your search to make sure that exact combo is found in the search results. Also, if you put. “+” in front of that, it will only return results that include that term.

    • shivaskeeper

      Refine your search?

      • wait! what?

        I hear raw data is better for you…

        • Somewhat Damaged Ron

          In the end they’re molasses the same.

      • Panika MCD

        no refined sugar.

        • shivaskeeper

          It was a bad pun.

          • Panika MCD
          • shivaskeeper

            I think I had that album. Seriously

          • Panika MCD

            I know I did.

          • Arolpin

            I still do. ;)

          • Arolpin

            I haven’t heard this song in forever. I just checked and for some reason this album wasn’t on my iPhone, even though it’s in my iTunes. (Probably because my first iPhone was only 16G or something, and my digital music library is over 80G, and I think the last time I updated what should be on my phone I had a 64G phone. I probably should remedy that.)

          • Zyxomma

            Oh, fuck, I HATE that song. I listened to 20 seconds before I realized what it was. Now I have to listen to something else so I don’t get it as an earworm.

          • Panika MCD

            choose something else from the album. they’re Saturday Morning Cartoon songs. one of them will be one you like and erase that one.

          • shastakoala

            There’s no such thing as bad spun sugar.

    • Bebecca

      I made a pumpkin pie at thanksgiving using brown sugar spends, egg whites and low fat evaporated milk, also lots of spices. It turned out really well.

      • Panika MCD

        but I don’t want to go to the store.

        I have plenty of diabetic friendly recipes, I don’t want to go to the store to get ingredients.

        • Ill-Advised

          Amazon to the rescue!

          • Panika MCD

            Amazon is going to deliver a cake to me before 5 pm tomorrow?

    • laineypc

      No. You cannot deny gluten if gluten is ok. THere would be no point at all.
      Where are you? I get tons of results from “sugar free”, “no sugar” bakery queries in the Seattle area. You might try “diabetic bakery”?

      Ask your local FB community page. OMG you will get a zillion responses if yours is anything like ours.

      • Panika MCD

        the bakeries told me to look for allergen bakeries. I’m in Austin.

        • laineypc

          Did you find something? Is Prima Momma reference to being primigravida? If so, mazel tov and best wishes!

          • Panika MCD

            I ended up having to go to the store and since it was raining, I had to rope in Alien Brother so it took about 6 hours.

            I got Murray’s Sugar-Free Shortbread Cookies, some no sugar added raspberry preserve and made some lemon cream cheese icing with Splenda and slapped together some cookie sandwiches. everyone liked them.

    • calliecallie

      Red wine poached pear? It does have sugar, but you could use splenda.

      http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ellie-krieger/spiced-red-wine-poached-pears-recipe-1917827

      • Panika MCD

        I DO NOT WANT TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING.

      • Panika MCD

        plus, pears have so much sugar naturally that it’s a no-go even with splenda.

  • Bananas Foster
    • Wonky McUbtrye

      Also too Rose McGowan

      • Maggielle

        They are all good, but I’m thinking of Mira Sorvino and Ashley Judd a lot too. President or Vice President Judd? Hmm.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          At least it’s not that chin chap.

        • calliecallie

          There was talk she would run against McConnell at one time. Maybe that could still happen.

          • Maggielle

            Yeah, that got derailed for some reason that I’m not sure about, but if the reason involved Weinstein-related bullshit, that is over. And her book “All That Is Bitter & Sweet” lays out a lot of her personal history, including her depression, so that’s already out there. So I hope. Also I think she may have Morgan Freeman in her corner, and that’s always a good thing.

    • wait! what?

      Sorry, Sarah Silverman, it looks like Alyssa is no fucking (over) Matt.

      Good on ya Alyssa!

  • wait! what?

    I just threw money at Wonkette through Stripe. Am I correct in assuming they don’t do automatically reoccurring money tosses?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Maggielle

      This is a tough one for me, because I hate Taibbi’s guts, but I’m still going to read his stuff on occasion.

      • TJ Barke

        Broken clocks and all that.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Fine, but if you find any small hint of this kind of bullshit, you have to call him out on it–comment or email, as well as calling him out among your own cohort in social media. Or better yet, stop reading him, and let his editors know. His credibility is shot. Read a woman journalist instead.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Good idea.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I just think it’s important to remember that his prep school celebrity brat ‘populism’ is only for people in possession of affluent white dicks when he demands everyone else take one for the team?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      makes it so readable, was its high-low mix of acute coverage and character assassination, sermonizing laced with smut

      Wait, are they talking about eXile or Wonkette?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I wrote this a few days ago on FB, in response to a friend who was distraught over being the target of sideways racism (two very powerful men in her industry making racist remarks in her hearing that were clearly meant to discomfort her):

      Remember that workplace discrimination is not always, or even mostly,
      overt. Most discrimination happens in “did I really just hear that
      right” ways that create a hostile environment, whether by knowing that a
      peer or superior* is discriminating against a co-worker (or at least
      insensitive), or through gaslighting (I must have misunderstood), or
      through lowering of peoples’ self esteem and ability to trust/respect
      coworkers. Call it when you hear/see it, especially if doing so helps
      someone without harming yourself (i.e. check your privilege, and USE
      it).

  • William
    • Guest Liberal

      “Muh vaginuh” feminism? Yikes! What’s with all this fear of the birth canal?

      • Maclare’s Colosseum O’Crap🏛️

        “Fear of the Birth Canal” is the name of my new rap album that’s dropping next week.

        • theCryptofishist

          Just in time for xmus.

        • proudgrampa

          Be a great name for my new Feminist Grunge band.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        They are sad no one will let them back in there.

    • wait! what?

      I’d like to see them do the next National Treasure movie with Emma Watson as the brainy protagonist and Jon Hamm as her expert on things arcane.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I prefer to refer to “muh vaginuh” as “my vagina”. Or “My lady parts”.

      • wait! what?

        I wonder if Putin refers to Doanld as his lady parts or his dick holster…

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I wou,d rather not think of my lady parts and Trump in the same sentence.

          • Earl Of Sammich

            Technically, a middle finger or a fist is still a lady part. Any lady I would care to know can use those effectively.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well played.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Have I mentioned recently how much I like you?

    • proudgrampa

      That would be a movie I might watch…

      In my bunk.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    This is quite possibly my least favorite Christmas song. But I love this. Enjoy.

    https://youtu.be/a0mT-zNxRMw

    It does get a little Christianist at the end. I can live with that.

    • Panika MCD

      “Sleigh Bells” is my nemesis.

  • Guest Liberal
    • Raan

      “Randy Quaid is a national treasure who is currently in another country because of his trouble with the law.” – Danny

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        And his disconnect from reality.

        • Guest Liberal

          He ran from the “celebrity whackers”.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            The “Hollywood Whackers” no less!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So this shit happened:

    Temple University investigating racist fliers

    The crudely printed fliers stated: “Hey you stupid N— Bernie would have won if it wasn’t for you. Seriously, f— you all. This is all your fault.”

    To whoever did this (and it could be a deranged Bernie Bro or a RWNJ trying to imitate one):

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/43a93a25992a55dbcd44111ac0759eebdce3f4f15cb9f8ee6c1aac7552ac95f0.jpg

    • gallbladder

      Ad infinitum.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Vete a la chingada, pendejo!!!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Y lleva a tu perrito contigo!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Wasn’t this debunked as an alt-right thing?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Not that I am aware of, although apparently they’ve identified a person of interest. I hope they catch the asshole!

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Yeah, me too. Dipshit.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      How exactly did African Americans interfere with the outcome of the Democratic primary?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        It’s their fault for not voting for him, apparently.

        IDK if this shit was done by a hateful Bernie Bro type or a RWNJ who is trying to keep the left divided. But it is true that some of the bros were and are pissed that AA voters weren’t with them. Sigh…

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          But what has he done to earn their vote? Sorry, I realize you are quoting insane people.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    It’s such a gamble when you get a face.
    https://youtu.be/-HMXuL0SShA

  • Sophia

    The Banned CDC List is Religious Right Terrorism

    Evidence-based
    Science-based
    Fetuses
    Transgender
    Vulnerable
    Entitlement
    Diversity

    A disregarding of scientific fact in favor of necessary religious mythology.
    The unrelenting demonizing of the LGBTQ community.
    The hyperbolic vilifying of those defending a woman’s right to choose.
    The neglect of the poor and marginalizing and coddling of the wealthy.
    Open contempt for people of brown skin, foreigners, immigrants.
    Historic misogyny and raging white supremacy.

    The list is a bulleted seven-point Sunday sermon outline, the kind that’s been given every weekend in pulpit pounding churches by spitting, sweating, furiously angry white men—who tell people the sky is falling and assure them only a vengeful white God can hold it up. They’re a list perfectly designed to leverage the fear Bible Belt Evangelicals work specifically and almost solely in.

    These seven words are not the work of Donald Trump. He can barely craft a coherent Tweet, let alone compose a brilliant bit of subtle violence like this. This list is a wicked witch’s brew, crafted by the preachers and pastors and religious universities who’ve sold their souls to this President in order to get the market share that their extremism wouldn’t allow naturally. These words are written in the unmistakable hateful hand of the Pences, the Falwells, the Dobsons, the Grahams, the Southern Baptists, pro-abortionists, and Family Values crusaders—and they’re tailor-made to legislate the Evangelical’s elevation of cisgender, white, wealthy Americans. It is mass murder without truck bombs and AK-47s. It’s domestic terrorism, just with less obvious weapons.

    https://johnpavlovitz.com/2017/12/16/banned-cdc-list-religious-right-terrorism/

    • Covfefe

      Faith healing always works better than evidence or science-based medical care.

      • Ling Ling
        • Gosala

          Meh…Temple of Asclepius knock off

          • Ling Ling

            Best I got, they are nearby. No extra points for being hotbed of ignorance less than 200 miles from San Francisco?

          • Gosala

            Sorry, wasn’t knocking you. I was knocking them for crass unoriginality. I gladly award bigly points for the post and any additional 200 as compensation for my faux pas

    • gallbladder

      Carlin would be mortified.

      • Somewhat Damaged Ron

        He’d be spitting fury.

    • Raan

      The didn’t ban the British spelling.

      Hello foetus loophole!

      • gallbladder

        Nice.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Down with the Webster patriarchy!

        Evidense-based
        Sciense-based
        Feoti
        Transjender
        Vulnerible
        Entytlement
        Dyversity

        • Notreelyhelping

          Empeechmint?

      • OutOfOrbit

        may i see the colour of your checques?

    • Christopher Story

      The Christians figured out you can kill more people with the swipe of a pen

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I agree but I believe it might be anti-abortionists, as no one is pro-abortion.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        They’re pro-abortion when their secret dalliances some back to bite them.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Tis true. That’s my bitch about them, the rich can always go somewhere for an abortion. The poor are the ones most affected by their evil ideas.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Already looking forward to 2018’s get out the vote drive:

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/941953816693485569

  • beatbort

    OT: I keep hearing about how this and that state is suing the Trump Administration for this and that policy. But I never seem to hear what the fuck happens to those lawsuits. I want to hear about winning lawsuits against Trump. So much winning that I would get tired of winning. But all I sense is that the whole judicial system is paralyzed.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Most of them are going to take a while due to the appeals process.

      And yes, I hope we get tired of winning those suits too (we will never get tired of that.)

    • jesterpunk

      Trump just lost his birth control case.

      http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/judge-temporarily-blocks-trump-rules-birth-control-51820933

      A federal judge in Philadelphia on Friday ordered the Trump administration not to enforce new rules that could significantly reduce women’s access to free birth control.

      Judge Wendy Beetlestone issued the injunction, temporarily stopping the government from enforcing the policy change to former President Barack Obama’s health care law.

      The law required most companies to cover birth control at no additional cost, though it included exemptions for religious organizations and some private companies.

      The new policy would allow more categories of employers, including publicly traded companies, to opt out of providing free contraception to women by claiming religious objections. It would allow any company that is not publicly traded to deny coverage on moral grounds.

      Beetlestone, appointed to the bench by Obama, called the Trump administration’s exemptions “sweeping” and said they are the “proverbial exception that swallows the rule.”

      She was particularly critical of the power to object on moral grounds, saying it “conjured up a world where a government entity is empowered to impose its own version of morality on each one of us. That cannot be right.”

      • Covfefe

        Judge Beetlestone should be disqualified and the case should be assigned to a male judge. Obvs, a lady judge us is biased when it comes to birth control. But not a Messican male judge, cuz Messican judges are biased against Donald. And no male judge appointed by Obama.

      • beatbort

        Thank you for the good news, jesterpunk!

    • de_Pizan

      A few different courts have ruled that the military must continue to accept trans individuals while Trump’s ban is being debated by the courts. https://www.buzzfeed.com/chrisgeidner/federal-judge-rules-that-military-must-move-forward-with?utm_term=.xvrNdgq7W#.vrxag9jZL

      A judge blocked Trump’s order to withhold federal grant money from sanctuary cities, stating the order was unconstitutional. https://www.colorlines.com/articles/judge-blocks-trumps-order-withhold-federal-funds-sanctuary-cities

      And while this wasn’t necessarily a Trump administration thing, there’s no doubt they were siding with it the mining companies on this one–courts just upheld an Obama era ban on uranium mining around the
      Grand Canyon.
      https://earther.com/court-upholds-obama-s-grand-canyon-uranium-mining-ban-1821231540

  • BloviateMe
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      As a member of Steeler Nation, I wish it were the Bengals instead. The criminals on that team deserve that fate much more than the Browns do FFS.

      • BloviateMe

        Steeler/Bengal games should be rated NC17 for gratuitous violence.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You’ve made yourself Burfictly clear.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        More criminals that your average Raider team.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        Seriously. Mike Brown doesn’t care who he gets, as long as he can get them cheap.

        His father was the same way, plus everyone who played for Ol’ Paul had to fit into his system. That’s why so many great former Browns became Hall of Famers for other teams (Doug Atkins, Willie Davis, Len Dawson, Henry Jordan, Bobby Mitchell) and other great players not in the Hall were let go to have great careers away from Cleveland.

        I wish it were different today, but we’re stuck with another stupid owner who changes everything up year to year. No consistency, no wins. Browns fans don’t deserve it, but Jimmy Haslem deserves to lose his shirt the way he’s running this team.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Force is not strong with them.

      • Somewhat Damaged Ron

        Neither is their defensive line.

        • SeeTrainOffTheRails

          Actually, their defense is pretty good.

          It’s their offense that can’t get anything going. (Bye, Hue.)

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Star Wars movies since 1977: 8 (Not counting The Clone Wars)
      Cleveland Browns NFL Championships since 1965: 0.

  • Jack Tenhet
    • 52camellias

      Hellboy and Deadpool. I commend your taste in action figures.

  • Jack Tenhet
  • Jack Tenhet
    • suziq

      Why “finally”? Oh duh, even though I was going back up looking at new comments I didn’t realize you had just posted a bunch of pictures.
      Love sock monkeys, I have onesie sock monkey pajamas.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Last picture taken, that’s why.

      • Jack Tenhet

        I’m a fan of the sock monkey myself. That’s my festive Christmas sock monkey. Wife got him for me last year.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      “Is that you, Santa?”

      • Jack Tenhet

        More like Krampus with how I’ve been feeling lately.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      “Jeremiah Johnson made his way into the mountains …”

      JK, Jack. You have all the hair I wish I could have grown back in the 80s. Man, I wanted to have long hair that just went straight down, but whenever I grew it, it would curl back up toward my ears, aka Mary Tyler Moore, 1964.

      Now envision one large newborn baby’s ass cheek and … there’s me today.

  • The Wanderer

    Urf.

    Just wrapped up the shift’s Christmas party a short while ago. The theme was to bring in something that reflected at least part of your ethnic heritage. There was curried chicken by a Jamaican coworker, a pot of beans and rice from Puerto Rico, a Filipino dish called lauja from Bohol (stewed pork and eggs, served over white rice) and a lot of desserts. I brought Speckbrotchen (smoked ham rolls) and a German butter cookie recipe.

    We set a splendid table, and we do credit to it.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Sounds nice. Love the idea of everyone sharing dishes related to their heritage.

      • The Wanderer

        It was a great idea, yes. So many different dishes.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          heh, around here it would assuredly just been mexican food, like most days. lol.

          • The Wanderer

            I have a significant portion of my shift hailing from various Caribbean nations (Santo Domingo, Haiti, Puerto Rico, Jamaica, Barbados).

          • William

            Uh….? Puerto Rico? Nation?

          • The Wanderer

            (sighs) “We must speak by the card, or equivocation will undo us.”
            Fixed.

      • Maggielle
        • Somewhat Damaged Ron

          Weight Watchers Recipe Cards. Makes sense. You’d see that and say, ‘No fucking WAY am I gonna eat that!’ and you can’t hold food down for the next 24 hours.

        • little miss high and mighty

          that’s so stolen now
          Sauerkraut-filled, pregrilled red bratwurst hot mustard. Bock Bier.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          That’s frightening! ;)

      • William

        Fine. YOU might think it’s a great idea, but I have friends from Mississippi and I don’t relish the idea of fried road kill at my party.

        • The Wanderer

          I’ve had opossum, raccoon and rabbit at our parties.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          Probably tastes like chicken. :)

      • Doug Langley

        You would actually like my Mom’s Jello salad with Miracle Whip??

        • SeeTrainOffTheRails

          Oh, boy! Homemade margarine and mayo sandwiches on white!

          • Doug Langley

            Now you’re just being silly. Of course we put a thin slice of bologna in our margarine and MW sammiches.

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      You brought a German butter cookie recipe, and not actual German butter cookies?

      • The Wanderer

        LOL
        Yes, I actually made the recipe. Embellished it a tad, too; the basic recipe called for just cinnamon and a half-cup of Riesling, but I also added a bit of nutmeg, clove and ginger.

        • Covfefe

          Having trouble finding decent German wines in the Midwest. Is that a problem anywhere else?

          • William

            Yes. Also I miss Applekorn. Can’t find it anywhere.

          • The Wanderer

            The wine I used was a 2015 Moselle Spaetlese.

        • SeeTrainOffTheRails

          A little Riesling for the cookies …
          A little Riesling for the chef …
          A little more Riesling for the chef …
          A little more Riesling for the chef …
          A little more Riesling for the chef …
          etc.

    • William

      No balut?

  • Jonny On Maui

    WTF is the white stuff in that last photo?

    • Ling Ling

      Ashes from Gods cigarettes.

    • The Wanderer

      If you go to the top of Mauna Kea, you might find some there as well.
      Just beware of the yellow snow.

    • Jack Tenhet

      If you have to ask, you can’t afford a kilo.

  • William

    Republicans are still very useful at providing the best GIF material. Behold the expression after being told public servants do not have to take an oath on a Bible. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/767fa3394eafdee11095a0f546e090396dd3ab07f857483bb0e196705d96b7eb.gif

    • The Wanderer

      That vacuous, dumb-animal expression is one I’m very familiar with.

      • William

        The video made me fear for our future.

        • The Wanderer

          Every video I’ve seen since the first primary debate has made me fear for our future.

      • William

        Oh sure they have the look but unlike deer they don’t have the decency to stand there and look at the oncoming headlights.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Bovines look more intelligent.

      • Kryptonian Canis

        You can tell when they’re winding themselves up to deliver what they think is going to be a real gotcha! moment. But this guy taking an epic face-plant on national television immediately afterward is a rare and precious thing.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Me too – every time I tell one of my neighbors that all Muslims are not terrorists. They then complain about Muslim women wearing the hijab, and I tell them that respectable married Christian women always covered their hair in public for 1900 years, and they give me that look again. I remember my grandmother and aunts and mother always put on a scarf or a hat before they left the house, every single time, until the mid-60’s. In some European countries there were once laws about what kind of head covering a woman could wear, based on her social status, which is why you see lots of photos of poor European immigrant women getting off the boat in Ellis Island with shawls over their heads instead of hats. Christian churches used to require women to wear a hat or other head covering, such as a mantilla or a shawl, when they entered a church.

    • Guest Liberal

      Pwned to the bone.

    • Jack Tenhet

      What’s that? Timmy fell down the well again? No? You shart you pants again?

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Watch the video again! I just love the dead stop after Tapper fact-checks him, followed by a full beat of stupefied silence before he can even manage a slow blink with his mouth hanging open.

      • William

        I just wish he would have mentioned Theodore Roosevelt, John Quincy Adams, LBJ and Franklin Peirce who did not swear in on a Bible.

    • Raan

      “[…]he’s got… lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes.”

    • Snork Maiden

      Was watching this live. It was delicious

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails
  • Mary Theresa

    So is this a thing on twitter? Someone started to follow me and all of a sudden I am getting all her soft porn on my home site?

    • and you are not sharing????

    • William

      What’s her twitter handle? (asking for a friend).

      • Mary Theresa

        Erica Thomson…enjoy, she is pretty.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      That’s why I always look at the comment history before accepting a follow request. I had to give up on Tumblr (which I used as a fitness inspiration source) because of assholes doing that. FFS, it’s not as if it is difficult to find porn on the internet if I wanted it!

      • Mary Theresa

        But I don’t follow her, which is why I do not understand, she chose to follow me. Anyway I blocked her. I’m not too smart about the twitters.

        • Mary Theresa

          Nothing against soft porn, but I do not go to the twitters to have boobs staring at me.

          • The Wanderer

            Neither do I. I see enough of Trump elsewhere; wouldn’t want him confronting me on Twitter.

          • TJ Barke

            Only because his flying monkeys would make life hell.

          • Somewhat Damaged Ron

            Ba dum tish!

    • Younevercantell.

      IKR ? Either the good stuff or gtfo !

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Block and report.

      Which, had I looked below, I’d have found you’d already done.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Skids on IRC are proof of Dunning-Krueger effect:

    https://twitter.com/nixcraft/status/942076011134443522

    • Raan

      For the non-geeks, 127.0.0.1 aka “localhost” is the internal IP address assigned to your computer, and pinging is to send a packet of data to an address to see how long it takes to respond.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        And ping-floods are sending so many ping packets to a host that it loses network connectivity.

    • phoenix00
  • canes_pugnaces

    There were three farmers: a Democrat, a Progressive and an Republican. Each had a cow. One day, misfortune befell them, and their cows died. Each remonstrated against God, saying God had failed him, and each lost faith. God realized he had to do something to make amends. So he came to Earth and approached the Democrat.

    “What can I do to restore your faith?” He asked. And the Democrat answered, “God, I lost my cow. Please give me another cow.” And God did so.

    “What can I do to restore your faith?” He asked the Progressive And the Progressive answered, “God, I lost my cow. Please give me that cow and two others to compensate my neighbors.” And God did so.

    And finally God came to the Republican and He asked, “What can I do to restore your faith?” And the Republican answered, “God, I lost my cow. Shoot my neighbor’s cow.”

    • TJ Barke

      I’d suggest slightly changing the punchline to “Kill all my neighbors’ cows.”

      • TJ Barke

        Then it becomes recursive.

      • Earl Of Sammich

        “Kill all my neighbors.” I think that would be the most accurate.

        • Khavrinen

          “So that I can then take all their cows.”

  • Guest Liberal
    • The Wanderer

      “You have the ring! And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.”

      • 52camellias

        The Schwartz is very strong with this one.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Schwantz, too, also, maybe bigger.

    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      $10 on the guy in the tie!

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        350 Quatloos!

  • William
    • altleftjohn

      ▶️ Armed with nuclear weapons

  • Christopher Story
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Not so much in obedience, as in surprise and fear: for on the raising of the hand, he became sensible of confused noises in the air; incoherent sounds of lamentation and regret; wailings inexpressibly sorrowful and self-accusatory. The spectre, after listening for a moment, joined in the mournful dirge; and floated out upon the bleak, dark night.

    Ryan followed to the window: desperate in his curiosity. He looked out.

    The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither and thither in restless haste, and moaning as they went. Every one of them wore chains like Reagan’s Ghost; some few (they might be guilty governments) were linked together; none were free. Many had been personally known to Ryan in their lives. He had been quite familiar with one old ghost, in a white waistcoat, with a monstrous iron safe attached to its ankle, who cried piteously at being unable to assist a wretched woman with an infant, whom it saw below, upon a door-step. The misery with them all was, clearly, that they sought to interfere, for good, in human matters, and had lost the power for ever.

    A Paul Ryan Christmas Carol

  • alpacapunchbowl
  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • Jack Tenhet

    This is one of my favorite bands. I almost cried when Peter Steele died in 2010. Their whole discography is wonderful, but this is my standout favorite song. The long version is better, but that’s 11 and change. This is the shorter edit from their remix album “The Least Worst Of”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp5pbS6QK0U

    • MizzMazz

      I did cry. One of my favorite bands.

      • Jack Tenhet

        Really? Most people I know have never even heard of them. Then I break out Halloween in Heaven, or recommend Christian Woman to some God botherers and I get uninvited to any and all church outings.

        So, win win.

        • MizzMazz

          Hehehe, awesome. Best show ever was Type 0 and Cradle of Filth at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas. Our room got upgraded to a suite, and the next day we went to the now defunct Star trek bar on the Strip. Good times.

          • Jack Tenhet

            I am jealous! I’m a huge music geek, but I’ve only been to one concert in my life, that was U2’s Zoo TV tour at Legion Field back in ’92. The crowds really get in the way of my enjoyment of the music. To me, music is like prayer, it’s something I enjoy most when I’m alone. I know that’s weird, but there it is.

            I do have 1077 albums in genres ranging from Acidhouse Country (Alabama 3) to Classical. My real passion is dark music, the darker the better. I love ToN, Kidneythieves, Siouxsie and the Banshees. I cut my teeth on Concrete Blonde in the ’80s . I love the dark cabaret style of Jill Tracy and the goofy riffs of Sparks. On most days, give me some Floyd or a little Rob Zombie if I’m in the mood and I’m happy. Hell, I even like a bit of Manson and NIN.

            Basically, I like a lot of everything.

          • MizzMazz

            I totally understand. I can’t handle the crowds like I used to, because of health problems, but shows can be good fun, especially small shows in cozy venues. I’m like you, I like all sorts of music, from Death Metal to Jazz to Classical. It really is the Universal Language.

  • shastakoala

    Love Donna’s hat in bottom pics!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • ((( Augustus )))

      what a stinky butthole

    • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

      It’ll be a happy day when Trump’s karma catches up with him.

      • gallbladder

        Dressed as Bobby Mueller and bearing handcuffs.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      I wonder how many of those too-late applicants were Trump supporters who haven’t been paying attention (until now, of course).

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      I’m shocked!
      SHOCKED!
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      Actually, not shocked at all.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Cute video Ajit "Aren't I Precious?" Pai 🤮-but you are profoundly unworthy 2 wield a lightsaber-A Jedi acts selflessly for the common man-NOT lie 2 enrich giant corporations. Btw-did you pay John Williams his royalty? @AjitPaiFCCorpShill #AJediYouAreNOT pic.twitter.com/SpIcOEySUY— @HamillHimself (@HamillHimself) December 16, 2017

    • Ling Ling

      Ahshit can suck. it.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      “I’m in power and you’re not. And that’s all that matters to me.” – Ajit “Prop” Pai

      • Msgr_MΩment

        A thousand upvotes for “Prop”.

    • phoenix00

      A known Pizzagater appears in this video too.

  • Sal Paradise

    Donna Rose is smarter than Susan Collins and a whole bunch of millionaire asshole Senators who can’t get enough of the yellow snow.

  • ((( Augustus )))

    all the Abrahamic religions, and I’m sure most or all of the others, say clearly, repeatedly, explicitly, to love your neighbor as yourself and to be gracious and kind to strangers, travelers, the poor, the sick, the young and old, etc.

    how is it that the Christianists are allowed to pervert that decent religion and twist it into something so wicked?

    their sick lies and justifications for avarice should fall apart upon even the most superficial examination

    when will these evildoers finally be un-done?

    Lady Justice carries a scale, but she also carries a sword.

    • Raan

      When the actual Christians, those whose actions match their words, rise up and kick these fuckers out of the temple.

      • ((( Augustus )))

        true

    • vivian

      Yeah, but this is kinda the expected outcome of living in a culture where the God Almighty Buck is the sole arbiter of value. In the Great Ole US of A in 2017 being poor is a sin so the only thing to pray to God for is to make you rich. Thanks Joel Osteen, Crespo Dollar, etc. …fuckers…

    • Maggielle

      It only applies to fellow human beings, so you have to “other” groups enough so you can think of them as not quite human, then it’s cool because god gave man dominion over all creatures who walk, crawl, fly, swim etc.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Willie!
    Willie is the fuckin best ;)

    https://youtu.be/0k9SjMpAxRM

  • thepoliticalcat

    No! NO, Wonkette Baby! DO NOT EAT THE YELLOW SNOW!!!

    Shit, now I got Frank Zappa playing in my head.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I have recently discovered that nobody makes an adhesive bandage that fits properly over a female breast. Mine are not very big, and no sticky bandage or sticky bandage tape that I can find will stay put, and this must be even more of a problem if one has larger breasts. Since 51% of the human population has breasts of one size or another (including some men), this is clearly gender discrimination on the part of bandage manufacturers, and I demand that action be taken to fix this problem.

    • Zyxomma

      What do you need it for? When I was in high school, my friends and I used to put band-aids over our nipples when we wanted to go bra-free. The adhesive used to stay put. I’ve not needed an adhesive bandage for a breast since, so maybe they aren’t as sticky as they used to be. If you really need it, clean off any moisturizer with alcohol before you try the bandage. Good luck.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I had an abcess surgically removed last week. They do not stitch this up, they leave the incision open so you can do gross things like squeeze out the pus that continues to accumulate every day (gross!) and it leaks significant amounts of other gross bodily fluids for some time, so you need a bandage or else your clothes become stained. Also it hurts if clothes rub on the incision. Also it can get infected. Rectangular adhesive bandages do not stick very well to curves, especially body parts that curve in four directions at once.

        There is a similar problem with cuts you get in that curved area of your hand between your thumb and first finger, or in the palm of your hand.

        • Zyxomma

          Have you tried this? https://www.healthproductsforyou.com/p-a3m-medipore-plus-pad-soft-cloth-adhesive-wound-dressing.html The pad is stretchy and non-adhesive; the Medipore tape is supposed to stick. Feel better, Angela.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yes I did try those, and thanks for the tip. The surgical clinic gave me a box of them to take home. But they are still flat and rectangular, and they pucker on the edges of my curves, and even the stretchy tape gives out after a few hours. I thought about using maternity nursing pads which I had heard of but never seen, because I foolishly assumed they would have some curve to them – but I discovered that even those are flat, and also very expensive.

          • Maggielle

            Aww, Angela that is such a drag. I have no really good suggestions except maybe applying the sterile bandages that don’t stick so well and then wrapping your whole chest as snugly as possible with strips of an old clean sheet to keep the bandages from shifting on you.
            Anyway, I’m wishing you the best for a speedy healing.

          • H0mer0

            kinesthetic tape?

          • Tania

            A friend of mine had that on his butt and the best thing was a panty liner or other such feminine hygiene product. Stick to bra and it catches all.

        • MsEdgyNation

          I would go with telfa pads, stretchy tape, and a cheap bra from the dollar store to hold it all in place. Two cheap bras. One to wear, one to wash, and throw both the gruesome stained fuckers out when the incision finally heals.

    • Snork Maiden

      Try grifgrips. Son uses it for his insulin pump. Adhesive is really good and it comes in rolls so You can cut to the size needed. You can get it from amazon.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s good to know, thanks, but I need it like yesterday. I will check local pharmacies. Thanks for the tip.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Check websites that sell products for runners. They may have something for distance runners that you can use.

    • Evidence-based Fetus Demme

      Cotton forms or inserts, that you can just throw away or wash?
      (Sounds expensive, I know.)

    • Use liquid bandage
      It’s basically glue

    • Begin Anew Day

      Is there a committee to study the problem?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Well, I have invented a kind of solution. I took some heavy-duty quilting thread and a big sewing needle and soaked them in rubbing alcohol for 15 minutes, and then I put on some sterile surgical gloves and sewed some basting threads around a large sterile gauze bandage and gathered them slightly to form a little bowl. This works perfectly. I am going to do it again and take photos and send them to the major bandage companies and suggest they make some gauze bandages with basting threads already in them, and people can either use them or ignore them. I seriously doubt they will form a committee to study this, or that I will even get an answer to my letter, but I think it’s a good idea.

        I just got back from the supermarket where I noticed they sell tiny little bowl-sized crisp taco shells they call “Taco Boats” that are about the same size as a pastry tart shell. If they can make little bowl-shaped tacos, then why the hell can’t they make little bowl-sized bandages?

      • cleos_mom

        A committee of men, no doubt. The Manzziere never got off the ground.

    • old_redneck

      Well, being an unreconstructed Dirty Old Man, I will not comment.

      • Artor

        You’re an old fairy.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    A little blasphemy for your war on Christmas?

    https://twitter.com/SpeakerRyan/status/940703491332431872

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Here’s hoping Wells Fargo steals all of your Congressional 401Ks.

      Fucking self-important gasbag.

    • Begin Anew Day

      First he gets his “agenda” from the screwball Sci-Fi failure Ayn Rand.

      Now he mangles “traditional” xmas poetry. (he is certainly too cheap to hire a ghost writer to do it)

      I noticed upthread that the artist who created Pepe The Frog is struggling to reclaim his icon from the hate brigade.

      donnie copped his entire public persona from professional wrestling. Professional wrestling copped it’s entire script from comic books.

      See a pattern? Yep, it’s the same old story. Alpha males just cannot think, say or do anything creative. They have to steal it.
      Without creative lefties, my Conservative brethren, you are just left to splash around in the mud, scratching and biting each other.

      • H0mer0

        bitey and scratchy kitteh libel!

    • phoenix00

      Good god that’s unreadable.

  • Zyxomma

    If Mueller is fired, we’re taking to the streets. Here’s how: https://act.moveon.org/event/mueller-firing-rapid-response/13162/signup/?source=&s=
    Of course, I’ve already signed up in NYC.

    • There’s one planned right across the street from my place of work. I’ll be ready.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Somewhat Damaged Ron

      Now THAT’S voter fraud.

      • Khavrinen

        I’m sure Kris Kobach’s KCommission will be investigating the hell out of that any minute now.

        Aaannnnyyyyy minute…….

    • Red Bird

      I forgot that Sean and MacKenzie are Patty Duke’s sons.

  • Cinnamon rolls? Well who needs respect for personal boundries when you have that?! 🙄

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/celebrity-chef-mario-batali-sorry-for-my-mistakes-heres-a-cinnamon-roll-recipe

    • little miss high and mighty

      well, then that makes all things better now, doesn’t it?
      mmmmm cinnamoon rolls. All better now.No more trauma and humiliation following sexual assault. All better.

  • Jamoche

    Mine is an evil grin…
    https://steamed.kotaku.com/steam-purged-of-pepe-imagery-after-creator-files-copyri-1821331294
    “Steam Purged Of Pepe Emoticons After Creator Files Copyright Claim”

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    my toddler just lost his shoe in a snow bank outside the store I was trying to leave. Grr.

    • vivian

      He’ll only do it 135 times more over the next 14 years.

      • TundraGrifter

        You don’t buy kids’ clothing – particularly for young boys. You just rent them.

    • phoenix00

      Hey my nephew’s still got a shoe in Belgium somewhere.

      And they visited 4 years ago.

    • H0mer0

      that’s why I never took my toddlers anywhere. That and so they couldn’t shoot me after removing my loaded pistol from the purse with the handy pistol compartment so I could do a little target practice after grocery shopping/sn

  • Jamoche
    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Well, that de-escalated quickly.

      Surprise! Corker’s just like the rest of them!

    • TundraGrifter

      You said it!

    • phoenix00

      And bribers gotta bribe.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        I gotta live one woman til I die..

  • Jamoche

    https://twitter.com/SashaDULIC_FR/status/942098523289513985
    Wanna cut some taxes, assholes? Start here.

    • vivian

      Nonono. They only cut the taxes the wealthy white people pay. Everyone else can (and will) get fucked.

    • Hiss

      I thought PR was part of the United States. How can they do this?

      • Jamoche

        It’s part of the US like the undocumented nanny is part of the family. Sure, the kids love her, but let her ask for anything a real employee should get and watch out.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt-mpuR_QHQ

  • simplejmalarkey

    Well, just screw Amazon then. Guess its Stripe…

  • it’s so weird that you just put pictures of some kid on here

    • Maggielle

      I don’t understand this. It happens quite often here.

    • Old Nick

      That is Donna Rose . She is not “some kid” except in the Charlotte’s Web sense.

  • phoenix00

    WHY AMAZON HAET WONKETTE? WHAT HAZ WONKETTE DONE?

  • Jgb979

    I had an evil thought today.

    He’s totally going to fire Muller December 24 around 8:00 pm.

    • JBenningfield

      Fuck

    • Reality Bytes

      Yup. That or New Year’s Eve.

  • JBenningfield

    Amazon has screwed several of my fave journalists in a similar fashion and I think it’s downright skeevy.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I think some asshole complained or they have hired a right wing asshole and given them the power to dick people over.

  • Lucien

    Has Amazon quit sending you monees when I buy something? Is that what “subscribed via Amazon” means?

    If they’ve totally frozed y’all out, say the word, and I’ll shuffle on over to PayPal.

  • old_redneck

    Talk about a big Christmas gift: TRACK PALIN, SARAH’S SON, BACK IN JAIL. Arrested 12/16 — burglary, assault, property damage. Still in custody as of 12/17.

    http://theimmoralminority.blogspot.com/2017/12/track-palin-arrested.html

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      Every time a Palin gets arrested, an angel gets its wings.

Previous articleHero Alabama Dad Who Lost Gay Daughter Went On Ellen To Make You Laugh And Cry And SHUT UP YOU ARE
Next articleHackers Are Holding All The Voter Rolls In California Hostage