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Roy Moore and Sassy, who is about to get rid of his ass right here.

HI WONKERS, it is your end of day open thread, where you will hang out and talk and we will come back from time to time and post you updates and results from the Alabama special Senate election. If Doug Jones pulls this out, we will write you a very excited and fast post about it later (maybe, if it’s early enough), but until we tell you differently you will SIT HERE IN THIS POST AND TALK TO EACH OTHER AND WATCH THIS VIDEO OF STUPID ROY MOORE RIDING HIS HORSE “SASSY” TO GO VOTE, BECAUSE HE IS WEIRD.

Also, it is obvious Sassy HAAAAAAAAAATE HIM.

 

Yr Alabama Wonkette Fakakta South points out in the chatcave that this is not the same horse Roy Moore rode in on for the primary against Luther Strange. It appears Kayla Moore, the Jewish lawyer-knowing wife of Roy, rides Sassy sometimes. The reason Roy and Kayla Moore switch horses is, we guess, because they are HORSE SWINGERS. (Allegedly.)

We are not an Expert Of Horses, so we will include this tweet from somebody who is:

More hilarious reactions from Horse Twitter here!

OK, enjoy your horse video. See you later! (OR WILL WE?)

UPDATE: Hey you guys! Ready for some fresh hot news about the election? Well, the fresh hot news is that this one Roy Moore campaign spokesman right here is A DUMB. Watch Jake Tapper make dude’s brain completely malfunction by telling dude ACTUALLY you don’t have to swear on a Bible when you’re elected in the US and A:

 

Hilarious! Will check on you in two hours to make sure you’re OK. (OR WILL WE?)

UPDATE AGAIN: Guys? Guys? Don’t hold your breath yet but Doug Jones HAS TAKEN THE LEAD by 817 votes and OMG OMG OMG OMG, IS THIS GOING TO HAPPEN? You’ll want to stick around, because yr Alabama Wonkette Fakakta South will be reportin’ official once we know official.

UPDATE NUMBER THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN DEMOCRATS COME OUT TO FUCKIN’ PLAY IN THE SOUTH:

AP has called it. Called it. CALLED IT.

Steve Bannon is probably having a literal stroke right now. So, we’d surmise, is Donald Trump. HELL YEAH, PEOPLE.

10:57 UPDATE: Did y’all see where our very own Alabama Wonkette “Fakakta South” CALLED THIS YESTERDAY? ROLL TIDE, ROLL!

Also too, Maxine!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Are you a good Wonker who sends us money by Amazon? Well not anymore you’re not, because Amazon done fucked our payment system. Would you be so great as to re-sign with Paypal or Stripe? K we love you bye. (All you others can too.)

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • suziq

      Now there’s a real shocker.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    HORSEGATE!

    May be the first XGATE! to actually make any sense. (I dunno, I werent raised ’round no horses).

    • natoslug

      I applaud his not wearing a helmet. Keep riding that way, Roy!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        ya think that’s how he ended being the man he is?

        • natoslug

          No. Tried to make a joke, but no. He is what he is because he’s seriously fucking defective.

      • suziq

        What does he need a helmet to protect? That man got no brains under that hat.

        • natoslug

          I dunno — he’s pretty good at speaking Russian, so he’s got enough brains to learn three languages: Russian, English (sort of), and whateverthefuckitis that he usually mumbles.

  • natoslug

    Poor Roy, just wanted to ride a 14-year-old and not have to catch flak for it.

    • Cosmic Owl

      It was Molester Moore’s idea of a joke.

      • natoslug

        A joke so juvenile he wanted to finger it?

        • Cosmic Owl

          [ hems, haws ]

      • jaspersdad

        The Marlboro Molester…

        • GoutMachine

          Marlboro Man libelz!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Sassy hates that piece of shit. She probably knows things.

  • jaspersdad

    I agree with the tweet about his horsemanship. No balance, reins too high, stirrups too short.

    Plus the cowboy drag is over the top.

    • Joe Beese
      • elviouslyqueer

        Oh please. Even Village People Cowboy is more butch than old Gymnastics Club Prissy up on that there hoss.

    • elviouslyqueer

      *ahem*

      Roy, I know your mama taught you one of the cardinal rules of Southernness. Always take off one piece of accoutrement before leaving the house. Otherwise you just look plain tacky and common.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      He’s a shit rider. Really shitty.

      • Seek

        What the hell is he doing with those reins? I don’t care if you are one handed or two handed but they must be even! He appears to be utterly unfamiliar with the concept.

        • ahughes798

          If he’s riding Western, he should have both reins in his left hand, and his right hand laying on his thigh. And his legs shouldn’t be flopping around like an outhouse door in a windstorm.

  • Michael Smith
  • GoutMachine

    Can someone rescue that horse from that ass?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      zing!

      • FlownΩver

        The horse is suing Moore – and with a Jew lawyer!

  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    HORSE THOTS: “Where’s that goddamn low branch? I thought it was in this stand of trees!”

  • Greg Comlish

    Uh, did you guys hear this shit about McConnel arbitrarily saying he’s not going to seat the winner of the election in the senate until the next session?

    http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/364494-mcconnell-strange-to-stay-in-senate-until-end-of-current-session

    What the fuck is this shit?

    • TJ Barke

      It’s Yertle being a fascist tool.

      • Daniel

        It worked for the Supreme Court.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      He’s really afraid Jones is going to win

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, for fuck’s sake. If Jones wins and Yertle pulls this shit I hope Doug sues FFS.

    • Thiazin Red

      Well this is the most confident I’ve felt about Jones winning. If he was sure Moore would win, he wouldn’t have said that.

      • TJ Barke

        Eh, it could go either way at this point.

    • cmd resistor

      So he is talking about whatever time is left this year He wants Strange on board in case they get a vote on the tax bill next week. But WILL THEY, even?

    • SullivanSt

      Well, if you’re going to brazenly steal a Supreme Court seat while the whole nation is watching, why not a Senate seat too?

    • jesterpunk

      The article says.

      Alabama voters on Tuesday will decide the Senate race between Doug Jones, the Democratic candidate, and Republican Roy Moore, who has been accused of pursuing relationships with teenage girls when he was in his 30s. The Alabama secretary of State will have to certify the election results before the winner can be sworn in, a process that was already expected to take weeks.

      So it seems McConnell really has nothing to do with it. He is just trying to sound tough and I guess they expect Moore to lose. Also Pence has to swear him in which would take even longer if Jones wins if they want to ratfuck things even more.

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        A good reminder to keep one’s powder dry as they burn thru procedural hurdles and until the rat-fuckery really kicks into gear.

        • miss_grundy

          If the Democrats can turn things around and win the midterms, I hope that they use procedural hurdles to make the Republicans pay for all the shit they did to Bamz.

      • Greg Comlish

        Oh interesting. By this line of reasoning McConnell might just be trying to keep his investors mollified if they lose the election.

  • Me not sure

    “Behold, a pale paedo rider.”

  • Bananas Foster

    I just realized that I’m expecting Jones to win now.

    I’m not going to be pleasant to be around if I’m wrong.

    • starfanglednut

      As long as you don’t put on pants.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    somebody needs to make a Blingee.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • cmd resistor

      I’ve been reading some good things about turnout in places where Jones needs it.

      • SullivanSt

        Of course, it’s tricky with the casual eye to differentiate between long lines because large numbers of people are turning out, and long lines because the GOP has ratfucked the number of polling stations and distribution of poll works and voting equipment to high heaven as the most street-visible part of their comprehensive vote suppression program.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      And here I am, with booze leftover from the Mike Flynn guilty plea. Mebbe that bottle comes out again, later tonight.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        What is this “leftover booze” of which you speak?

        • willi0000000

          it’s in the class of nonexistent things . . . like leftover pie.

    • I remember the last time Nate was surprised.
      https://media2.giphy.com/media/vSSdLSLbGIXio/giphy.gif

  • lroom

    I just voted!!!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Was it good for you?

      • lroom

        Yes! Also too he’s abusing that horse FFS.

  • cmd resistor

    So, that was Fake News that he rode that same horse to all his elections? I still feel sorry for the horse, being ridden by him or Kayla.

  • SullivanSt

    I know very little about horses, but I know when a man has his feet in totally the wrong fucking place. In this case it appears to be in part because Moore has no fucking clue how to adjust his stirrups, which are far too long.

    • natoslug

      Must not have had any child saddles available wherever he rented that horse.

  • JMP

    This shows that Roy Moore thinks his base are a bunch of idiots, to think that they’d be swayed by something so unbelievably stupid as this.

  • andyshelt
  • Spurning Beer
  • canes_pugnaces

    Thank you Wonkettes. I posted the same earlier. The point is this; he’s hurting the horse and it’s clearly a prop. The perv doesn’t know how to ride.

    • Amy!

      Which is weird, because he supposedly worked his way out west on ranches, then went to Australia and ended up on a cattle station. These are places where learning to ride is not difficult, though I suppose it’s also easy enough to dodge.

      Hell, I can ride better than that (even bareback), and I can’t really ride (bad hands; I’m terrified of hurting the horse’s mouth and haven’t had many opportunities with a bitless bridle or a hackamore). It was surprisingly hard to watch someone being that awkward on horseback; I winced repeatedly as the horse was all like “Dude, fix your feet! Fix your seat! What the fuck are you doing with the damned reins, you asshole?”

  • The big question is will my headache tomorrow be from celebration or drowning my sorrows? I’ll have to read the twitter tomorrow morning to know for sure, because I will surely not remember tonight.

  • kaydenpat

    I wonder if Moore will go after the women who made accusations against him should he win tonight. He seems just like that kind of douche.

    • Bananas Foster

      Not through the court system.

      Discovery is a bitch.

  • Cosmic Owl

    There is a complete and utter POS on MSNBC right now, and I ain’t talking about Chuck Todd.

    • kaydenpat

      There are so many. We need another clue.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        At least narrow it down for us, Cosmic. Male or female? Intentional liar or congenitally stupid?

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Is he riding a pony? He likes his horses like he likes his girls: Young.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Your daily reminder that there are some good people who identify as Christian:

    https://twitter.com/RevDrBarber/status/940701563684868103

    • Cosmic Owl

      As Trevor Noah has pointed out, he was considered an ‘illegal human being’ because he is bi racial, and was born in apartheid S. Africa.

      • PubOption

        “Against the fucking law” as Tom Sharpe put it.

        • miss_grundy

          “Born a crime.”

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      They’re not being fooled. They’re just as deplorable as he is.

    • capnkrunch

      I learned this from Gogol Bordello.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKpgb2WrGo0

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Roy Moore is one of those guys Jesus chased from the Temple.

    • coozledad

      He’s fighting the battle of Jericho.

    • miss_grundy

      Unfortunately, Moore’s followers and evangelicals for that matter wouldn’t know Jesus Christ if they passed him by on the street because he would look like a Muslim to them. Those goobers are under the impression that Jesus looks like Tab Hunter or Max Von Sydow or Willem Dafoe. They may even accept someone who looks like Jim Caveziel but not if he were olive-complected with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes and were dressed shabbily.

      • Werewolf

        If they met Jesus they’d ask him to do their taxes-because c’mon, you know Those People are good with money.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
  • ariel_gee_398
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If anyone here has relatives &/or friends in Alabama, they need this number in their phone before they vote:

    https://twitter.com/Alyssa_Milano/status/940646174100541441

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    That riding style- lean back, feet forward, reins open, is what you see in the show ring with gaited horses that have been abused to make them lift their feet higher. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit

    • SullivanSt

      Just finding out about this myself… and what I’m finding out makes me wanna ask: his saddle position, seems kind of far back, and isn’t that also a gaited horse showring thing?

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Think so. I’ve never actually ridden gaited horses- was more of a dressage person. But leaning back is supposed to free up their front end to move. Of course, horses love it when you bounce around on their kidneys like he’s doing.

        • Seek

          It depends on the gaited horse. The Saddle seat types on Morgans and Saddlebreds sit viciously upright. I’m not a fan but they don’t do this. I haven’t been to a Walker or foxtrotter show in decades because they torture the living hell out of those horses. Soring and other forms of abuse are amazingly prevalent and not even mildly discouraged. If you get caught for being an egregious cheat you may get punished but it seems to be for being bad at abuse more than for the abuse. There are people who don’t cheat but they also don’t win.

  • mrFawkes

    Ok Georgia, make this Moore’s last rodeo.

    • harryeagar

      Georgia?

    • canes_pugnaces

      Georgia? Jones? Are you lost?

    • PubOption

      Do you have something on your mind?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Son? I say, son? You appear to be in the wrong place. The Dear Shit Fer Brains column is over yonder, next to the cut glass punch bowl and the busted up chifferobe.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    These people are such entire caricatures of themselves and they don’t even know it.

  • canes_pugnaces

    This pervy prejudiced pile of shit is the worst rider I’ve even seen. Literally everything, without exception, is wrong. No wonder he couldn’t get a date with women his own age, had to get all rapey with underage girls instead. Poor Sassy.

    • Cosmic Owl

      Molester Moore rides pedophile style.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I mentioned it below, but it looks a little to me like the riding style used with “big lick” Tennessee Walkers”- those poor horses who are so terribly abused to make them lift their feet.

      • canes_pugnaces

        I’m not familiar with that. I grew up on a horse farm (hunters) and have ridden my whole life. This isn’t riding, this is equine abuse.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          They do awful things to the horses’ lower legs so they will raise their legs higher. It’s dreadful.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          I looked at some pictures of that style of riding and even those riders have more grace than him. If there’s anything I hate, it’s seeing someone abusing a horses mouth, especially with a western curb bit. The head tossing is a dead giveaway.
          Also, how would you like having someone sit on your kidneys?
          I rode dressage- where you have GENTLE contact with the horses mouth.

  • Reximus
    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      :::YOINK!!:::

    • coozledad

      Exhibit A: why you will spend about the same on halters as you spent on that damn horse.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Alabama Secretary of State larned voting management in Russia.

    Yes, you heard me.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Do they speak Russian like Roy Moore?

  • 3FingerPete

    Roy…bro…do you even horse?

  • memzilla Ω

    I have done the math and crunched the numbers, and it appears that the amount of alcohol I’ll need to consume if Doug Jones loses is exactly the amount of alcohol I’ll need to consume if Doug Jones wins. It’s SCIENCE!

    • Cosmic Owl

      Thank you, science!

    • chazmanr

      Who would’ve thought that the only victor in today’s election would be…science?

      • coozledad

        Jesus. Jesus would have thought it.

        • Edna

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          fb47ssd:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleCashCareerPartyPartTImeJobs/computer/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fb479lhhhhh

      • Changeling

        I could tell it was alcohol, though.

      • wavicles

        And whiskey distilleries.

    • Bananas Foster

      All of it?

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      AOT;K

    • Werewolf

      Good Heavens, Miss Yakamoto, you’re beautiful!

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        I understood that reference!

    • armed_bears

      You learned that doing the meth?

    • proudgrampa

      I LOVE science!

    • mappo

      Fair and Balanced.

  • Learning “horse-Twitter” is a thing has been a bright spot. What would horse-ebooks think!

    • Cosmic Owl

      A horse is a horse.

      Of course, of course.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He’ll give you the answer that you endorse.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This may not be our open thread, but this is semi-related:

    https://twitter.com/ace_maddie/status/940685451832242177

    • I thought this *was* the open thread? Did I misunderstand above?

      • SisterArtemis

        Nope, you’re right. It’s up there in the article, just not right at the end.

        We’ve been given our assignment:

        HI WONKERS, it is your end of day open thread, where you will hang out and talk and we will come back from time to time and post you updates and results from the Alabama special Senate election. If Doug Jones pulls this out, we will write you a very excited and fast post about it later (maybe, if it’s early enough), but until we tell you differently you will SIT HERE IN THIS POST AND TALK TO EACH OTHER AND WATCH THIS VIDEO OF STUPID ROY MOORE RIDING HIS HORSE “SASSY” TO GO VOTE, BECAUSE HE IS WEIRD.

  • Joe Beese
    • Maclare’s Colosseum O’Crap🏛️

      Oy…

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        …Vey!

    • GoutMachine

      WAR ON CHRISTMAZZZZZ!!!!!!1111!!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Fuck you.

      Molotov!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      It can’t be from him- he didn’t mention haters and losers.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      I’ll give him a little credit. I fully expected him to call it “Jew Christmas.”

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Jewmas?

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      This is not my area of expertise, but I think you’re not supposed to light all the candles on the first night.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Fake post. The tell:
      1) He didn’t insult anyone;
      2) The grammar and spelling are above the third grade level.

      • miss_grundy

        So his gentile lawyer wrote this tweet for him??????

    • Reximus

      you could always just PAY your accountants. Donny

      • miss_grundy

        He had a conniption because he had an African-American working for him in accounting. He told whoever was with him that only men that wear yarmulkes should work in accounting.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fuck off, Nazi wannabe.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Says the lard ass who’s going to be gorging on approximately 12 pounds of latkes.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Does KFC make those? Because that’s sounds a little ethnic, IYKWIM.

        • Travalanche

          “Y’all get them lakke- lakte- Jew biscuits yet?”

    • Roadstergal

      Eight nights of health is more than Drumpf can hope for.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Ghostwritten. L word is a tell.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Like a pedobear Cowboy
    Awkwardly riding a horse in a scandal filled rodeo.

  • A moment of silence out of respect for the horse having to carry Roy Moore on his back.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/2aDnc9JdsM968/giphy.gif

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, for fuck’s sake, of course this happened:

    https://twitter.com/RepGwenMoore/status/940669393343860737

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • harryeagar

    I haven’t been to Alabama for years but my grandfather was from Moore’s part of the state. Moore’s going to win and I doubt it will be close

  • JoeChristmas

    His real hero, Putin, would have ridden bare chested.

  • Edith Prickly

    Jesus. I am not a horse person either and even I can see he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. He’s lucky he didn’t fall right off.

    • OutOfOrbit

      A working horse would’a throwed him. That poor pony is rented from a bridle path

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • miss_grundy

      We are all April D. Ryan!

    • elviouslyqueer

      April Ryan is my spirit animal.

    • cmd resistor

      I wish I could make her the real pie that Sarah fakely promised her.

  • miss_grundy

    Forget Dotard’s message. Happy Hanukkah to those who are celebrating tonight and for the next eight nights. I hope you get a lot of gelt and win even more playing with the dreidel!

    • tehbaddr

      Dreidel dreidel dreidel
      I made it out of some cured brain ooze I gathered from the House Rethuglicans!

      Sadly it will not spin, and gets soggy when the humidity increases.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Yes, the man rides like most straight, white men who are showing off. For shit. I feel very sorry for Sassy and hopes she bites him right in the ass as he’s dismounting.

  • keinsignal

    BOY did I pick the wrong week to quit smoking.

    (Not like there’s gonna be a right week any time soon I’m guessing.)

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Ex-smoker here: ANY week is a good week to get rid of that habit. You will never regret quitting: your body, bank account, and non-smoking friends will all thank you for it. You can do this!

      • keinsignal

        Thanks for the encouragement, but I’ll be fine! Being a laid-back, slackerly and largely stress-immune individual by temperament, I’m finding the withdrawal symptoms kinda invigorating. Blind rage turns out to be a real booster for my productivity.

    • proudgrampa

      I discovered a long time ago that there is never a right week to quit drinking.

      Quitting smoking, on the other hand, is definitely worth doing. Go for it! See Callyson’s comment below (above?).

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      I get it, but quit. 3 parents gone to three different forms of cancer, all hellish in their own way. 20 years in, I quit. It took patches, gum, gin, unwise sexual relations, and prayer. Not always in that order. But I’m 14 1/2 years clean, and damn proud of that. Just quit, by any method you can.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I am so, so, so fucking stupid, y’all. How fucking stupid? So stupid that I scheduled a potluck with my little group of neighborhood sewing enthusiasts tonight. At seven. At my house.
    They all vote Republican.
    Fuck.
    Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Good luck honey. We’ll be here for you when you get back.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Thank you! While I was showering I was pondering what, exactly, we are going to be able to talk about. There are a lot of topics that will be RIGHT OUT.

        • Crystalclear12

          Pretend it’s Thanksgiving.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          “So, how about that local sports team? They really sports well.”

        • SisterArtemis

          OR WILL THEY??????
          (dodges sewing needles and various sharp implements of sewing)

    • I read that as swing enthusiasts which either means dancing or, uh, dancing.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Can you go out and pretend you forgot?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Yeah, I told one of my trainers that I’ll be at vertical tonight to get my knots and anchors signed off. Maybe my haul systems, too. I figured it’s better than sitting around my house by myself either way. I don’t have to be there till 6:30 my time and it’s close, so I should know before I go.

    • Spurning Beer

      Make them a nice Ex-Lax casserole.

    • tehbaddr

      What the hell were you thinking? Sorry, but anybody who votes Rethuglican now-a-days should be a “conversation over the fence” sort of neighbor!

  • Victoria Ricola

    Jake Tapper kindly reminded me earlier that “Sassy” was the name of a teenage girl magazine in the 80s – 90s. Jake Tapper was just sayin.

  • Covfefe

    On information and belief, Steven Bannon at a Roy Moore rally said there’s a special place in hell for Vanka.

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      “On information and belief” is jargon I recognize. Interesting choice.

  • Picabo
    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Deep in my mind, I knew TBogg would come up with something like this.

    • elviouslyqueer

      “Jew fidgetspinner.”

      That’s it. Call the undertaker. I am officially dead.

  • Joe Beese

    Charles Pierce, on last night’s Moore rally:

    At the risk of sounding like every liberal Yankee bogeyman flitting through the minds of the assembled, this event was completely nuts. It was a naked appeal to unreason. It was the Rose Parade of empowered ignorance. It was the Royal Wedding of Stupid and Mean. It was the Celebration of the Lizard Brain. The Id was in the saddle, and it was riding the crowd, and the barker at this particular carnival of fools was quite happy to bring all the suckers in out of the Alabama dark and into the freak show he’d created.

    This was the first time I’d ever seen the Steve Bannon Show in person, and I was struck by how completely full of painfully obvious horseshit he is. A rootless cosmopolitan, a former investment banker at Goldman Sachs, a former producer who worked in godless Hollywood, a man who wouldn’t have a public career at all had he not latched onto a lunatic wingnut zillionaire from the proletarian enclaves of the Hamptons, Bannon came down to Midland City like a combination of Elmer Gantry and an aluminum siding salesman, unspooling angry banalities about the contempt other people have for the “working class,” about how he is one with all the old white folks gathered in the activity barn because they all share a fealty to a pussy-grabbing casino bankrupt who’s coherent for about 20 minutes in the morning. This is the oldest scam in American politics. I thought better of Bannon, at least in terms of his material.

    At bottom, Bannon’s entire spiel is an endless bluff against his own barely concealed hypocrisy. He came down here, he maintained, to defend Moore, who lost his job as chief justice of the Alabama supreme court twice for attempting to nullify decisions of the U.S. Supreme Court, against what Bannon referred to as The Nullification Project. But at no point was Bannon, the last heir to House Harkonnen, more transparently lacking in shame as when he identified himself with the military families in the audience. The man sells tinhorn empathy like a payday lender. He told the crowd that the “elites,” who are not Steve Bannon, start wars because “they know that it won’t be their kids who die.” …

    This, of course, in the service of a president* who skipped Vietnam because his feet hurt. Nobody in that president*’s family ever has served in the military, although the Klan-curious paterfamilias once fought bravely in the battle against black people living in his buildings. Eventually, you grow tired of this grubby hucksterism. You grow tired of the people who cheer for it. You grow tired of it all, and exhausted in the attempt to make sense of human beings so obviously jonesing for the kind of illusions in which a former investment banker in a camo jacket and 31 dress shirts is really one of them, and in which a judge who has been credibly accused of sexual misconduct with teenage girls is really as close a friend to Jesus as they are.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a14415471/roy-moore-last-rally/

    • OutOfOrbit

      First paragraph was poetic

    • Edith Prickly

      These people really don’t care that they’re being conned, as long as the con man bashes the right targets.

  • Travalanche

    It’s a cold, piss-raining night here, which probably means a long boring night at work for me.

    My boss and coworkers are all keeping news feeds open so we can (hopefully) celebrate when the results come in (I’m feeling optimistic, which is new for me)

    So I figure I’ll finally stop lurking and try and contribute here for once.

    Hi – I’m new.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Welcome to the nuthouse. You from ‘bama? Or just a political junkie?

      • Travalanche

        Just a junkie – closest I’ve been to ‘bama was working voter ref in Georgia last year.

        Been reading this shouty mommyblog for over a year now, though. Hel

        • OutOfOrbit

          Then you know

          • Travalanche

            About the pants?

            The cakes y’all like?

            That there aren’t comments on Wonkette?

          • SisterArtemis

            OH BOY!!! THIS ONE HAS BEEN STUDYING!!!

            And welcome to our little clubhouse!

          • Travalanche

            I do what I can!

    • natoslug

      Hi, new! Welcome to our recipe hub. Stay away from the canned clams.

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        YOU MONSTER!!!! Bringing that up on a newbie!!!!!

        • natoslug

          At least I didn’t warn him/her about the “no pants” rule, or that I just peed in the punch bowl.

          • Travalanche

            Oh I knew about the pants rule

            Didn’t know someone had beaten me to the punchbowl though

          • natoslug

            Sorry about that. I couldn’t quite make it to the sink.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        But you’re welcome to some of those cakes we like.

        • We share those?

          • Trip Space-Parasite

            As long as he’s not wearing pants.

          • OutOfOrbit

            NOOOOSE!!!

        • OutOfOrbit

          Now just a cotton pickin minute!

      • tehbaddr

        Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

    • OutOfOrbit

      We donut wear pants here

      • Msgr_MΩment

        or donuts

        • natoslug

          I wear donuts. But only if I can’t find a sock. Have to be presentable when the UPS driver shows up.

          • Roadstergal

            The second most popular person at a nudist colony? The guy who can carry a dozen donuts and two cups of coffee. The most popular person? The guy who can eat the last donut.

        • OutOfOrbit

          I donut know what you mean

    • Hi new person!

    • GoutMachine

      Did you bring enough weed for the class?

      • proudgrampa

        Perhaps you’d like to share…

    • proudgrampa

      Welcome, new. I’m old.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        dang it, gramps, I was going to say that!

    • redarmyzombie

      Willkommen!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Hi! I’m weird!

      • OutOfOrbit

        Oddviously

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Bonjour! Bienvenue!

    • tehbaddr

      One of us! One of us!

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Gooba Gaba One of Us!

      • Travalanche

        Why is everything suddenly black and white?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Welcome.
      Roll up your arm and bend over.
      Do you want Regular or Premium?

      • Travalanche

        Why don’t we start regular and build up to the high octane

        …this is leaded, right?

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      :::waves:::

      Hello, de-lurkified poster! Remember: Drinks are on the house!

      https://youtu.be/hHmoSumn0UM

      • SisterArtemis

        “de-lurkification” has now entered my vocabulary.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Welcome. This is a loving and caring community. If you haven’t seen it yet, let me send a Style Guide. And of course, comments have never been allowed.

      http://wonkette.com/595690/yr-wonket-beated-up-a-idiot-today-and-it-was-great-also-too

    • jaspersdad

      No comments are allowed

    • calliecallie

      Welcome! I was going to say something about canned clams, but I see that’s already been done. So, instead, I’ll just say….cedar cheese and those cakes we like. Assume deer dead. And the answer to the question is never Hitler.

  • tehbaddr

    Came to see the results and be discouraged with alabamiansesses. Guess I’ll have to wait for tirade. Or maybe those genteel Southern religious fundamentalists bigots will surprise me! nah, prolly not gonna happen in tRUMPS ‘meriKKKa!

    • OutOfOrbit

      We will know in 90 minutes

    • natoslug

      I have faith. After all, it has to go smoothly now that the Alabama State Supreme Court okayed immediately destroying all record of the election once the winner is declared, right?

      • Roadstergal

        That’s always the sign of a healthy democracy and a fair vote.

      • tehbaddr

        I see no problem with that at all!

    • Blanche de Shambles

      I think the plural is actually “Al-abami”.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I wrote “Misogynist incompetent crooked “businessman” says what now?” in my reply:

    https://twitter.com/Alyssa_Milano/status/940592054895304704

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/940567812053053441

    • ManchuCandidate

      Who’s the boss now?

  • kLo
  • biologydave
  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    Arthur C. Clarke’s “Redezvous With Rama” comes to mind. https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/12/12/570167473/astronomers-want-to-know-does-this-interstellar-visitor-have-a-message-for-us?utm_medium=RSS&utm_campaign=science

    wouldn’t be the first time that Clarke’s predictions/anticipations became reality later.

    I hope it’s the aliens from Mars Attacks, though.

  • Reximus
    • Roadstergal

      Do they mean “Someone at C-span is getting cookies and oral sex?” Because that’s what I’m seeing.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        “Hey, I’m quitting today- might as well get laid, too.”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      That. Is. AMAZING!

    • Victoria Ricola

      C-Span hero!

      • redarmyzombie

        Jinx, I guess?

    • redarmyzombie

      Person at C-Span is the hero we deserve…

    • redarmyzombie

      Okay Wonkers, ‘fess up, which one of y’all works for C-Span?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      C-Span motherfuckin dot org, baby!

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Damn. Snopes is always a downer. Pan down the comments.

  • RichardBroderickJr

    In Alabama you can call a dozen women liars and come to the polls dripping horse dung.

    • jesterpunk

      “At least he isnt a democrat”

      Alabama republicans

  • Msgr_MΩment

    You discussing pugs should all watch your filly mouths.

    • elviouslyqueer

      You hush up right now, Poot Lips.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    People like Roy and Kayla Moore are what drove me from embracing religion to embracing atheism, in a period of time that began right around November of 2008 and took until right around December of 2008. I realized then that, if believing in a gawd meant I’d have to look at the world the way those vermin look at it, I’d not only have to give up rational thinking, I’d also have to be willing to accept that they could be entire and vile pieces of shit in life and then I’d have to deal with them in heaven because they were “forgiven.”
    It was easier just to jettison the entire thing and their malevolent, violent, evil “supreme being” along with it.

    • Courser_Resistance

      If I go anywhere at all, I hope it’s Rainbow Bridge. It better be asshole-free, too.

      • ryp

        I guess you haven’t seen Thor:Ragnarok

        • Courser_Resistance

          Actually, I have :-)

        • Parakeetist

          Fenris eats things

    • RMKH

      Although I’m a Gaiaist myself, much of my family is Xtian but in a good way. They are politically progressive, care about others, etc. etc. So don’t tar all Xtians with the racist intolerant ignorant fundamentalist brush.

    • theCryptofishist

      Wait, one month? I’m no expert, but that seems quick to me.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Christians who actually PAY FUCKING ATTENTION to the New Testament (see Clinton, Hillary) are pretty good people. Roy and Kayla do not pay attention to the New Testament.

  • Andrew Rheinheimer

    One can only hope the Horse named Alabama kicks that fucker right in the teeth – with votes!

  • Joe Beese

    The Disaster Artist somehow didn’t have the depth of Ed Wood – despite being basically the same story. But it was very funny, with what must certainly be a career-defining performance by James Franco.

    • BMW

      In fairness, “Ed Wood” was Tim Burton at the height of his film making powers, and Johnny Depp (despite being a creep) is an extraordinary actor.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      At least as portrayed in the film, Ed Wood loved moviemaking but didn’t have a big ego about it and had a gang of friends who stayed with him picture after picture.

      I have the impression that Wiseau is not much like that at all. He’s a narcissistic idiot famous for one atrocious film.

  • Indiepalin

    Where the white women at?!?

    • Parakeetist

      Here. O hai

  • Joe Beese
    • Roadstergal

      Oh, come on, ‘getting more votes’ is such an antiquated way of doing things.

      • TundraGrifter

        It worked out so well for the US of A in November 2016. And in Bush vs. Gore.

        • Roadstergal

          I’m a very reasonable age, and I have voted twice for a candidate who won the popular vote and lost the election. It’s enough to make me hate everything.

        • Werewolf

          No Electoral College in this one.

    • BMW

      This is what happens when policy nerds make jokes.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Channeling John Madden I see.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Or Phil Simms – “It’s gonna come down to halftime adjustments, Jeem.”

      • Notreelyhelping

        Feeling good, feeling strong….

    • Timothy Watson

      Did we leave out any election cliches?

      Oh, “messaging”!

      • theCryptofishist

        “Early and often!” Always include “early and often.”

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Dear gawd I hope he was being intentionally funny.

    • Christopher Story

      I think the sunrise is going to come down to the Earth’s rotation, and also where you are on Earth.

    • Rick Hill

      But mostly it will go to who keeps the most people from voting and who’s doing the counting

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Nailed it.

  • Covfefe

    Not a horse rider but I see what Kaye Toal means. He’s not really riding the horse, he’s just flopping around on the top of the horse.

    • TundraGrifter

      That’s what she said.

      • Christopher Story

        Too soon

    • Nockular cavity

      Plus, isn’t the horse kind of running at random? I don’t see any “trail” he’s following.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    This Moore spokesman really didn’t help himself. Jake Tapper just wrecked his shit.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/940706037203472384

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      That. Was. Fantastic. Thanks for sharing! :-D

    • GoutMachine

      WOW. The deer in headlights look is amazing.

      Also, too: “I’ve sworn on a bible. I’ve done it three times!” You are such a fucking moron.

    • SisterArtemis

      Any one else thinking of a certain scene in “Fried Green Tomatoes”?

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        Not until you mentioned it. :-)

    • Shan
      • Christopher Story

        That sums it up, perfectly

    • Reximus

      Groping 14 year olds is ok though…as long as she looks older obvs

    • RMKH

      You could just feel the stupid creeping out during his gaping silence.

    • Pisto75666

      Was just literally about to post this. That pause, I swear I thought there was something wrong with my laptop speakers.

      Personally though if I’m ever sworn into office, I’d like it to be on a stack of Garfield comic books.

      • Boscoe

        Dammit, I never scroll down far enough before posting… >:(

        • Pisto75666

          It happens to us all :D

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That high pitched whirring sound you’re hearing? Madison revolving at near relativistic speeds in his grave.

    • Reximus

      that’s a Simpson’s episode, and the Moore guy is Lionel Hutz…right?

    • Notreelyhelping

      Fuck. That was painful. And hilarious.

    • Boscoe

      The really hilarious thing is that you just KNOW the Roy Moore guy uses the “you have to swear on a Bible” argument to justify other things, like why we are a “christian nation” and why there’s no such thing as separation of church and state.

      That silence was the sound of dominoes falling inside his head. His whole world just got destroyed on live television.

    • BearGHAZI

      Literal mouth breather. Great Jehoshaphat, what a lackwit!

  • gingerwentworth

    I know– he bounces and just holds back on the mouth on that beautiful horse. Where IS that palomino?
    Was that horse just part of his cowboy outfit? Because, WHY DOES HE WEAR A COWBOY HAT? HE’S GOT A WHITE ONE AND A BLACK ONE. The man’s from Alabama.

    • theCryptofishist

      Yes, noted cattle country…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So does every Southern male douchebag think he’s a cowboy these days?

    I blame Country&Western music, or possibly Nathan Bedford Forrest.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      (in an alternate universe where “Hans” is the good guy)

      Doug Gruber: “My opponent is just another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he’s John Wayne, Rambo, Marshal Dillon.”

      Roy McClane: “I was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers, actually. I always liked those sequin shirts.”

      Doug Gruber: “Don’t you mean Jimmy Saville, Mister ‘Cowboy’?!?!?”

      Roy McClane: “…”

      • Covfefe

        Jimmy Saville? Nobody’s ever even heard of Jimmy Saville.

    • Rick Hill

      I blame the chemtrails

    • RMKH

      Aren’t those the same thing?

      • theCryptofishist

        Hank Williams, Sr. Liebulllz!

        • RMKH

          I concede your point

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Just a reminder that the reason grown men like Roy Moore hit on teenage girls is because they are weak, insecure, controlling, fearful failures with absolutely nothing of value to offer a mature, experienced adult woman, or anyone else.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      They are also deeply afraid of comparisons, which do not go their way.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Best to give the next male partner an ego boost.

        “Yours looks like Roy’s, but much bigger!”

  • Panika MCD

    wanted to let everyone know that Jazzy Jazz Pants has found her furever home!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/707a28cd10f501032afe8701a39e6ed169c7452a7c0efedbdcef2c0c11d05d2b.jpg

    • Shan

      Hey, there you are! Hi!

      • Panika MCD

        hello!

    • jesterpunk

      Hey Panika, haven’t seen you around lately. Glad JJP found a home.

      • Panika MCD

        you missed me taking a hiatus because some wonkers were falling under the category of “why we can’t have nice things”, didn’t you?

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah I missed that. Well glad you are back.

          • Panika MCD

            maybe back. although the reasons I can’t have nice things right now are annoying Alamo enthusiasts, Phil Collins starting the whole thing that made the Alamo enthusiasts annoying, and Dem candidates who think freshman state house reps get budget veto power.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Now that’s good news!

    • Arolpin

      That’s great news, and welcome back!

      • Panika MCD

        I think the latter might be a bit premature. we’ll see. I’ll probably swing by after this endorsement meeting I’m going to with a candidate I’m working for.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Yay for that. Now Cary-Cary can stop being a recluse in the bathroom?

      • Panika MCD

        we let him out a couple months ago, but he doesn’t have to hide there or under the bench seat from Prima Momma’s old Vanagon. but his new favorite spot from being around JJP is on the desk so I rearranged it to accommodate a bed for him. but he’s also back in the habit of announcing it’s dinner time 1.5 hours before it actually is.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Ah, well at least he’s back to the familiar.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          He is announcing that you need to start your prep work before cooking. He isn’t being demanding, he is being helpful, he wants to get his order in early so you won’t feel rushed.

          • Panika MCD

            all he is doing is freaking out Calliope Jane.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Panika where you been? All good?

      • Panika MCD

        pretty much. now with some more abhorrence of Alamo enthusiasts.

    • tehbaddr

      Would love to be able to take in a ratty terrier like that!

      • Panika MCD

        she’s a pit.

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      So, regardless of how the Alabama vote turns out, still a Good News day.

    • Christopher Story

      Yay! Congratulations.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Yay! And Panika’s back! Welcome back Panika! We’ve missed you around here!

      • Panika MCD

        thanks!

    • Boscoe

      Was there ever any doubt? LOOK AT THAT FACE! LOOK AT IT!!!

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Fartknocker finally showed up? ; ) That’s great for her.

      Good to see you back. Hope you can stay a while.

    • miss_grundy

      Hurray!!!!

    • Werewolf

      You’re back! Huzzah!

    • jowgajen

      Happy Hanukkah JJP!

    • hudson

      nailed it!!!

  • Blanche de Shambles

    I think “Sassy” probably wishes she was just a horse with no name.

    …and now that song is caught in your head.

    • biologydave

      You’d think after 9 days he would’ve named the horse.

    • Victoria Ricola

      It’s better than the “thank heaven for little girls” loop.

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        Damn you. Damn you to hell. You and Maurice Chevalier.

  • Garbageman

    Now, it’s been a while since I last rode a horse, but even this liberal city elitist knows ol’ Roy ain’t doin’ it right. . . . It’s an interesting change of pace, tho – usually the horses**t is below the horse, not on top of it . . .

    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/roy-moore-horse_us_5a300c7ae4b01598ac488372?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      NICE!

      (seriously, these fundies got some WEIRD ideas about government…and they’re running for office…AND PEOPLE ARE VOTING FOR THEM…sigh)

    • GoutMachine

      You could literally be sworn in with your hand on thin air. Or on an iPhone.

    • Bananas Foster

      Nice.

      (Although “the Jewish bible” is a bit… erhm.)

    • biologydave

      Did anyone mention this to Keith Ellison or Andre Carson?

      • tza

        Moore thinks Ellison shouldn’t be allowed to serve so…

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      I keep trying to explain to some of these people how the 1st Amendment works. The level of gobsmacked shock he’s showing is actually pretty typical. WE NEED TO START TEACHING CIVICS AGAIN!!! We can’t let fundystupid churches rewrite 200 years of law and politics in the name of their understanding of God.
      Sorry, not funny, just sad.

    • Timothy Watson

      If I was ever elected to office (god(s) help us) , I would refuse to use “swear” and use “affirm” instead in the oath just to fuck with people.

    • 3FingerPete

      That clip cut out the context. The point Crockett was trying to make was that a Muslim cannot serve in elected office because you must swear on the Bible to take office. Now who’s the idiot? Huh? HUH?

  • Nockular cavity

    GET THIS CREEP OFF OF ME!
    -Sassy

  • Notreelyhelping

    The especially enjoyable part about watching the video is that Sassy is pounding the hell out of Roy’s nads. Good horse!

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Riding the horse in to vote means Moore is a FUCKFACE CLOWNSTICK

    • theCryptofishist

      Does he tie her up while he’s voting? Does someone hold her? Or do they have special horse-rider voting booths to accommodate this asshole?

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        You WILL address him by his formal name, FUCKFACE Asshole CLOWNSTICK

      • GoutMachine

        I think the ASPCA comes and rescues the horse while he’s in there.

        • Resistor Radio

          Forget it Gout, it’s Alabama.

    • natoslug

      I’m just happy that his wife talked him out of saddling up the other 14-year-old he was going to ride in to vote.

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        Oooooooo B A D!!!!

        • natoslug

          I’m going to “makes fun of pedophiles” hell for that, aren’t I? Sorry, alleged pedophiles.

    • hudson

      fuckassed dipstick. he would be lucky to be a clownstick.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I won’t tell him to fuck himself and the horse he rode in on, cause Sassy might well be a teenager.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • hudson

      even after the detailed tracking of the issues involved, here at wonkette? a lot of which by killermartinis herself? you guys live in an ivory tower, i declare!!!

      • SullivanSt

        Well, the alternative is to accept the normalization.

        I feel pretty good about how much rage I was still able to feel at this morning’s shitbaggery.

        • hudson

          ya that’s the thing. rage has not been in short supply for the past 12 months. it’s the effect of all that rage that is spectacularly missing.

    • Resistor Radio

      I’ve been spittin’ mad about this all day. And extra annoyed at talking head on teevee saying “what do you think he meant by that?” “What was he implying?”

      COME ON, you guys, don’t be coy, don’t play dumb, call a thing a goddammned thing.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    A unicorn’s message to Sassy:

    Dump him, honey. You could do so much better.

    • Resistor Radio

      Sassy needs a Kirivention

    • natoslug

      Better yet, throw him.

      • Christopher Story

        At a wall

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Dump, throw, stomp, kick… it’s all good.

  • Resistor Radio

    Today, a suburban white lady in a red state complimented my IMPEACH hat.

    • I really want one but we have to be all professional at my vet school and basically get in trouble for any clothing that gives off a political opinion.

      On the bright side, some crazy-ass person who is in the military (I guess she’s gonna be both kinds of vet?) got in trouble for wearing her gross booty-length jean cutoffs with confederate flag pockets.

      • Resistor Radio

        Did she complain that she was being persecuted and something something religious freedom?

        • I have no idea. The less I know about her the better.

          • Resistor Radio

            Good strategy. Keep your head down and power through.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I get plenty of compliments on mine, but I’m in ultra-commie Track Town USA.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, you wear it well…

      • Resistor Radio

        *blushes* Why thank you!

    • grindstone

      As a suburban white lady in a red state (house, yard, SUV, child, you get the picture), I would buy you a damned drink.

      • Resistor Radio

        And then I would buy you a drink, and this would continue until we were drunk and it would be awesome.

        • grindstone

          You…..you are a beautiful person.

          • Resistor Radio

            *blushes*

  • Joe Beese

    What are part of “professionals need upgradeable computers” does Apple not understand?

    Or is releasing a “Pro” computer that can’t be upgraded Apple’s equivalent of Roy Moore sitting down to an interview with a 12 year old girl? That is: Their way of saying “Eat shit” to their die-hard brand loyalists?

    • Boscoe

      That’s classic Apple design mentality for you, and why the only Apple anything I own is a 10 year old ipod.

    • Chyron HR

      You can plug in headphones and a power cord at the same time, can’t you? What more do you people want?!

    • natoslug

      Yeah . . . I’m having a hard time justifying replacing my early 2011 MBP with another Macbook now that I need something a little faster and with more memory for data analysis. I have this thing maxed out with 16GB RAM, and would love to have 32-64 GB and maybe an actual quad-core i7 rather than my crippled dual-core (only thing they offered for the 13″). but, Apple says we would never possibly need more than 16GB RAM.

  • hudson

    this is just filibustering on a horse. it doesn’t look he is going anywhere in particular.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Resistor Radio

      So much

    • redarmyzombie

      I’m more interested in the remaining 4%. What are they, fucking succulents?

      • Roadstergal

        They don’t like Trump, but they really, REALLY hate brown people.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Or, too embarrassed to give an answer.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Multicell structure not in evidence.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      How many of the “Approve” bunch were disenfranchised today?

      Because there have been plenty of “Disapprove” voters who have.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • miss_grundy

      When will someone accuse Chuck Todd of sexual harassment/groping/whatever? We need this guy to lose his job as well.

    • BMW

      What’d he say?

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Meanwhile, as we trip through the Anthropocene. This is what a starving polar bear looks like.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BceylHujELW/?taken-by=natgeo

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Crystalclear12

    His human suit looks like it’s slipping.
    I don’t think he paid for the active wear version.

    • Daniel

      Ted Cruz is watching, shaking his head.

      Then feasting on the souls of the children slowly dying at his feet.

    • hudson

      brilliant.

  • Joe Beese
    • natoslug

      Wow. I think Tapper actually broke the poor guy’s “brain.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You can practically hear the wind whipping through it.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Needz moar “Brain and Brain” gif

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            I am very disappointed to find that this does not currently exist :-(

    • Bananas Foster

      It’s mesmerizing.

      I’ve eaten salad smarter than that guy.

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        And I bet you feel sad for that salad, now. It coulda been a Senator!

    • hudson

      rofl.

    • redarmyzombie
  • Steve Richardson

    Hear directly from Roy Moore’s horse. https://twitter.com/horse_sassy

    • Roadstergal

      This is fantastic.

  • Rick Hill

    A horse in Wonketonia? Seems pretty appropriate. I feel like I been rode hard and put up wet
    (No homo)

  • Squeegee

    But was it a Jewish horse?

    • Horse is not Kosher.

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        yeah riding treyf on Hanuka!!!!

    • hudson

      all horses are jewish by religion.

  • AmusedAmused

    I thought Moore looked pathetic that time he was pandering to the NRA: a pudgy, clumsy old man prancing on stage, awkwardly waiving that little, dainty lady gun.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      A larger caliber would have broken his wrist.

    • SDGeoff3

      Prancing. I like it.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        …and dancing with a doe-aged vixen?

        • SDGeoff3

          I have heard such.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I thought it was a Village People reunion

      • AmusedAmused

        If only. If only.

      • GlazedHaim

        They have bigger guns.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    OK, speaking of religions and such. Happy Hanuka from an original “chosen” one proven by my 100% pure European Jew Blood. (DNA tested by the Mormons)

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Question: Is OJ Simpson still not a Jew?

      • redarmyzombie

        Dunno, but generalissimo Franco Francisco is still dead!

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          Not according to his fascist fan boy Trump!

          • redarmyzombie

            He’s been hearing great things I’ll bet.

          • SDGeoff3

            His potential, they tell me, is amazing. So much potential. Everyone is saying.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Does he not bleed?

    • altleftjohn

      Molotov!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      0-3% here. Shalom, homeboy!

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Does Jewish by marriage count?

        • Crank Tango

          It had me scrambling around looking for candles just now, so hopefully.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Molotov!…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Tetman Callis

      He’s tonguing Huckabee and dedicating it to his wife? I just doan unnerstan them good ole Bammy boyz.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Now, let’s go have ghey sex and kill some newborn babbies!”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Takes 25 years to know where the noses go…

  • Notreelyhelping
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Mary Theresa
      • I’m so scared to trust Nate Silver after Trump. Like, I want to, but I been buuuuurned.

        • Roadstergal

          I remember in the run-up to the election – like, late October, IIRC? – Nate wrote a post about the chance of Hillz winning the popular vote and losing the EC vote. It was high enough to legit scare me, and it was pre-Comey letter. So I don’t think he got it as ‘wrong’ as people think.

          • Joe Beese

            Yeah, he’s kind of touchy on this on this point.

            “I gave Trump a 30% [or whatever it was] chance to win. 30% likely things happen all the time!”

          • I never read that one specifically, I just remember seeing something like a 70% projected Hillary victory almost directly before and then NOPE.

          • SullivanSt

            So, you call 5 races at 70/30 odds, the “30” candidate should win one or two if them. If the “70” candidate wins all five, your model’s understating the leader’s chances.

          • aureolaborealis

            Yes, and I think he’s probably done a better job of calibrating voter suppression, which is what I think was the downfall of all of the prognosticators last year.

        • SullivanSt

          Nate gave Trump the highest chance of any of the forecasters.

          I had started to worry that he was wrong too rarely. You call 100 races as 95%/5%, you should miss on five of them. He had been doing better than that.

          This race has been a doozy for polling because nobody knew how to make a turnout model. My advice? Ensure a well-stocked liquor cabinet, either way.

        • proudgrampa

          Well, it’s not like November was Nate’s fault.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Posted that earlier. Praying that this is true (and they are actually able to cast ballots as opposed to finding they were thrown off the rolls!)

        • Mary Theresa

          I’m late to the game. :)

      • Beautiful Soup

        I think he’s being ambiguous for a laugh here…

    • calliecallie

      NOT ENOUGH UPFISTS FOR THIS.

      Please save us, People of Color, you’re our only hope!

  • 52camellias

    What is with all the weird cowboy playacting, anyway? Isn’t Alabama east of the Mississippi? Suitin’ up like a trail rider seems kind of dorky.

    • Christopher Story

      In his defense, they used to dress in white.

      • Major^3 Andre

        and it was Moore of a hood than a hat.

        • redarmyzombie

          They could get real cross when they’re burned.

  • hudson

    so when the counting start?

    • Joe Beese

      Polls don’t close until 8 Eastern.

      • hudson

        crap.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Polls close at 8 Eastern/5 Pacific. Apparently after the primary, it took 70 minutes to get to 11% reporting, so prepare for a long night!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        7pm local. 6pm Unicorn Time.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          4:20 pm Colorado, Washington, Oregon time.

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            Woah… The wait’s gonna be harsh, man.

    • Rick Hill

      Naught plus naught equals naught
      Naught plus one equals one
      Naught plus two……

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • ltmcdies

    They sure do grow them RWers stupid in Alabama these days

    https://twitter.com/TheLeadCNN/status/940704581742419969?s=17

    • Msgr_MΩment

      …and pre-K is leftist indoctrination.

    • SDGeoff3

      Duuuhh…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      On a tangentially related note, I hears someone being sworn in for something on the radio a few days ago, and they used “I hereby swear or affirm” for the oath. I thought if was “swear [or affirm]” pick one, because some people (Quakers most famously, I thought} object to the swearing of oaths of any kind.

      To bring it back to Roy Moore, this objection is one interpretation of one of those ten commandments he goes on about. Funny how people can’t agree what they mean.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        We use both so that if we have to swear in multiple people at once we don’t have to keep changing terms.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Well it’s been a little while, but IIRC, it was just one person. It sounded weird.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I call that the “agape Cletus” look. Get used to it.

    • altleftjohn

      So he could use a copy of Lolita, for instance?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Another Vladimir in the woodpile.

      • TJ Barke

        *applause*

        • altleftjohn

          * blushes *

      • ltmcdies

        I declare this post tonights winner….

        • altleftjohn

          You are kindness itself.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      The silence was doofening….

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That has to be the slackest jaw I’ve ever seen.

      • kareemachan

        The derpness is deafening.

    • Travalanche

      I’m not sure he knows they don’t even have to use the KJV

    • m3bosha

      I watched this live. It was, for lack of a better word, baffling. Baffling that this guy not only didn’t answer questions asked, but couldn’t answer questions asked. The derp is strong with this one.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Fucking Alabama. It takes an unapologetic racist, homophobe, twice-removed state supreme court justice, and pedophile to even make the race theoretically CLOSE. A garden variety RWNJ dunderhead like Louie Gohmert would’ve won in a fucking landslide.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Even if Moore wasn’t a perv, don’t forget that Jones locked up good ol’ boys for exercising their God-given right to take down a communist threat from four little negro chillun’s at the colored Jesus house. Moore could have bombed the church himself and he’d not only be a hero — he’d be the second coming of the messiah George Wallace.

      For all the wailing the wingnuts do about Muslims, supposedly the “ascension” of Muhammad happened over the skies of Mecca where he rode a winged horse into heaven. That’s the rapture story they’d tell about ole Roy whether he did anything to tweenage maidens or not.

      After all, negro votes is only 3/5 a human anyhow. God of the white man sent the other 2/5 straight to the ballot box of hell.

      Forget it Jake, it’s Alabama…

  • biologydave
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Picabo
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    NYT live results here

    https://www.nytimes.com/elections/results/alabama-senate-special-election-roy-moore-doug-jones

    @EvanHurst maybe post the link in the body copy?

    • Joe Beese

      Very helpful.

      Right now, our most likely estimates span Jones +15 to Moore +15.

    • Yeah I’ve been occasionally refreshing that since like 10 AM waiting for numbers to come up.

  • Reximus

    EXIT POLL: Roy Moore voters are having difficulty finding the exits to the polls.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Roadstergal

      This needs to go to the volunteers outside of the polling places. Water and snacks are good, but this information is vital.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I’m hoping the last thing I ever write about Judge Moore will be tonight, and will end in “…and the horse he rode in on.”
    Moore does not ride well. Sassy clearly does not respect Moore’s attempts at control.

    • Christopher Story

      That’s what Moore said about his “dates”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “Spock.”
      “Yes, Captain?”
      “Be one with the horse.”
      “Yes, Captain.”

  • biologydave

    Don’t mess with Tammy Duckworth

    Tammy Duckworth Slams Trump Over Tweet, Calls Him ‘Cadet Bone Spurs’

    http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2017/12/12/tammy-duckworth-donald-trump-tweet/

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Bone Spurs destroyed by a double-amputee and actual veteran. SAD!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Is Sassy 14? That Hor…se….

  • jesterpunk

    So can Roy Moore supporters vote if the polling place is at a school or do they have an alternate polling place?

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Today Everypony is Sassy.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading out the door for now (WHY did I have something scheduled for tonight of all nights?) on this optimistic note. Let’s do this!

    https://twitter.com/exoticgamora/status/940716508052901889

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Good_Gawd_Yall
    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not least because I’m pretty sure Maggie Haberman would sprint for the nearest pond and Shalott herself.

      • Daniel

        I think you mean Mergle Hergleglargle

    • Boscoe

      Oh but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you…

      • data_ninja

        “If I went around saying that I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      One plus is that creepy old dudes are more likely to lose a dick than gain a sword with that system.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    He’s a shitty rider. Like real shitty! This is the way you ride a horse! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd6d9c7467c3992513993b9062a613fb5aae95f4a358a4ab02f86a727196df6c.jpg

    • SDGeoff3

      AND pull off a smart hat!

    • Christopher Story

      I have a new aspiration in life

  • Rick Hill

    I’m having a hard time getting my snark on. Can I get a designated snarker for this evening?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      It happens to all men sometimes, Rick, and it’s not a big deal. ;)

      • Rick Hill

        Hey, now! Woah….just holdup little Missy. This is the Rickster(Note: Do not call me the Rickster) THAT just doesn’t happen.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Sarah was right! Your liberal mind lives in the gutter!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            RICKSTER!

          • Rick Hill

            You’re lucky to be on the list of “Gonna give you a pass on that one” people. Now don’t go pushing your luck, young lady

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Yes, Rick.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            ster.

          • Rick Hill

            (I. Am laughing. Out loudly)

          • Rick Hill

            Well, now. I never said that it didn’t. It just happens to be a very interesting section of gutter I inhabit and it gets washed out every time it rains.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          The Ricksterino!

          • Rick Hill

            That’s better.

          • SDGeoff3

            Rickaroonie!

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            El Rickles!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            SNORT! Hahaaa!

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          Rickety Rick Rick

    • SDGeoff3

      Is there no booze nearby? What happened?

      • Rick Hill

        Too much driving, today. Just trying to wind down and get this road ringing out of my ears.

        • SDGeoff3

          I know the feeling. And people on the road are starting to get nuttier due to the Season.

  • chascates

    Wonder what will happen if Moore loses? Alex Jones knows:
    Alex Jones explains the technocratic bubble cities that are
    being built to create a reeducation environment for future
    mind-controlled and genetically altered generations.
    (5 minute video)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtvKu8pGmJs

    • jesterpunk
    • Christopher Story

      If you mean a top notch education and the opportunity to evolve beyond their troglodytic parents

      • jesterpunk

        But if people get an edumication they wont buy Alex Jones’ bullshit.

        • Christopher Story

          Doubleplusgood

        • CripesAmighty

          That’s the entire right wing shtick in a nutshell.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The thing about technocratic bubble cities is, sooner or later they blast off and leaved the hicks behind:

      https://pictures.abebooks.com/isbn/9780671720506-us.jpg

    • redarmyzombie

      I’ll upvote, but I am not watching that fucking video.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      We don’t have the money to take care of ourselves as a nation, let alone fund any lunacy like this.

      Stop taking your supplements and washing them down with your urine, Alex.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        Soros is paying for it.

        • SeeTrainOffTheRails

          Of course he is.

    • Zonath

      Give me Google Fiber, and I’ll sign up willingly!

      • chascates

        Liberal bubble technocity Austin has Google fiber, two broadband cable companies, and a pretty aggressive AT&T service. Cheap, fast access.
        And I’m stuck 40 miles out in the country paying $56 a month for 5Mbs fixed wireless.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Although, to play devil’s advocate, it’s Google’s fault that the world ever got the misfortune of being exposed to the brain-damaging noise pollution coming out of Alex Jones’ mouth. If Google sucks bad enough at “planning” media platforms, I sure as fuck don’t want them “planning” physical cities. Your self-driven taxi with a YouTube app that plays the same kind of RWNJ crap that old geezers in 30-year-old Plymouths have had on AM radio since way back when Rush clocked in at a firm and fit 240.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Schroedinger’s election is nearly over. For now, my hope in humanity is both alive and dead, and will remain that way until the results open the box.

    Okay, I’ve abused this metaphor enough now.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That box looks a little banged up…

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        It went through this same process last November and I didn’t react well to what was inside.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Yeah, we did and didn’t get a president…

  • Roadstergal
  • BlueDawg

    I’m literally terrified of horses. More so when they are galloping toward a voting booth with a wingnut pedophile mounted on top of them.

    • SisterArtemis

      Well, to be honest, that is truly a frightening idea!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      come on – that’s only happened this one time.

      (I too am terrified of the things)

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        *nuzzles*

    • Notreelyhelping

      You shouldn’t be. Horses are beautiful animals who only occasionally step on your feet, bite your elbow when you’re not paying attention, and veer off the trail and duck under a low-hanging branch.

  • Reximus
  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Gawd, everything is just so depressing. Marvin the Paranoid Android was right.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      How are your diodes feeling today?

      • SDGeoff3

        When they start fuckin’ with your chakras, you’re doomed.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      All part of my business plan.

  • Resistor Radio

    Huh, haven’t seen Krystal Ball in like forever.

    • Timothy Watson

      She’s running the “People’s House Project” when she isn’t complaining about Nancy Pelosi.

  • Crystalclear12

    This nail biter was brought to you by:
    Voter suppression and rat fuckery!

    And letters:
    F & U

  • anon_the_great

    Brillant fuckin tweet

    • anon_the_great

      He really DOES have a bad seat

  • Iam Reading

    Just like everything else he’s terrible at horse riding. Then again terrible people are terrible

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
    • gallbladder

      He’s gonna lose his shit…and I can’t wait.

      • SDGeoff3

        I’m loving it.

      • Joe Beese

        I was thinking that the distraction of the election results tonight might be an opportune moment for him to fire Mueller.

        But he’d probably want an even bigger distraction. Like bombing North Korea.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Well, when you hit the throne room in the morning, that’s usually the idea. tRump just takes it to the next level. Downward.

        • gallbladder

          Centre-of-the-Earth downward.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      God Fuck Them, Every One…..

  • Joe Beese

    There would be several things to look forward to after a Jones victory. But the inevitable whining Trump tweet about vote fraud would be foremost.

    • BlueDawg

      Rigged!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      His outrage that blacks were allowed to vote….

    • Travalanche

      Honestly I’ve been waiting for him to pull back and declare “victory” for himself on the grounds he supported Strange during the primaries

      “I was totally right and this is a victory for my rightness”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    He rides like a fucking sack of potatoes lashed to the saddle.

    • pi may

      did you see when he got it spooked in a crowd, I was hoping it would dump him

  • jaspersdad
    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Steve Bell rools OK.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The Party of Family Values? ___
    bwwwwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    If a political candidate was accused of sexual harassment, would you consider voting for them if you agreed with them on issues.

    Republicans
    Yes 48%
    No 34%

    Democrats
    Yes 10%
    No 84%
    https://poll.qu.edu/search-releases/search-results/release-detail?What=&strArea=;&strTime=28&ReleaseID=2507#Question015

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DQ4Z56QWkAEnWZ4.jpg

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I don’t buy it. This is people telling pollsters who they want to be.

    • miss_grundy

      Does she know that her hero doesn’t like people of her color?????

      • She is the owner of “Besteder Newsletter Service”, which has a staff of 1 person, operates out of a residence and gets great reviews:. “Pam now owns her own business which doesn’t surprise me because she is, bar none, the smartest most effective person…”

        She can save the money rubles, buy new scooter and track suit. Maybe marry sister some days.
        https://media.giphy.com/media/a0h7sAqON67nO/giphy.gif

    • Anne Of Green Bagels

      if she isn’t one of Vlad’s socks already

      • She is the business owner of a “Newsletter service”. That’s so lucrative, Vlad. 😂

        • Anne Of Green Bagels

          only the best people.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Dear Russian troll, you forgot the #MAGA.

      Master Vlad will not be happy.

    • Red Bird

      Fake black profile says what?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      That, and a self-proclaimed Reagan Conservative (why didn’t “she” use the more common phrasing Reagan Republican, hmmmm?) would not be a Trump person. I’m not saying Reagan Republicans are swell, but I know a few and not a single one of them can stand King Circus Peanut.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Mrs. Roy Moore: “We even have a black Jew gay lesbian replicant attorney.”

    • SDGeoff3

      And she makes the best chocolate pie!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “We have a Jew lawyer. His horns and cloven feet don’t bother us at all.”

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Needz moar Eskimo midget left-handed ninja…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB9DSWxtsgU

    • Rick Hill

      “Do our laundry.”

      • CripesAmighty

        “Oh, that’s our friend the Chinaman.”

  • Rick Hill

    “Does Judge Moore still believe that homosexual conduct should be illegal and homosexuality is still the same thing as bestiality?”
    — Anderson Cooper

    “I can’t answer that question.”
    — Roy Moore spokesperson Janet Porter

    • Resistor Radio

      “I don’t want to answer that question.”

      • SDGeoff3

        “I don’t dare answer that question.”

      • Rick Hill

        Oh. You’re up here. I was having fun down there, a bit

        • Resistor Radio

          Ooooo, dirty!

          • Rick Hill

            A guy glued a microwave to his head and had to be rescued by firemen. I just wanted to let you know that that wasn’t me….
            https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a05rjzq_460s.jpg

          • shastakoala

            I saw that on tv cause my microwave was on the fritz.

          • Resistor Radio

            Uhhhhhh- I wouldn’t have suspected that of you, but now I’m starting to wonder if you doth protest too much.
            (And hi!!!)

          • Rick Hill

            I might wear hog testicles for ear muffs but I know enough that I wouldn’t glue a microwave to my head.

          • Resistor Radio

            You’re smart like that, it’s okay to brag about it.

          • Rick Hill

            Well…I did gradiate the sixth grade. I was tallest in my class, too.

          • Resistor Radio

            So – as much book learnin’ as the girls Roy Moore hits on?

          • Rick Hill

            Hey, now! Fun’s fun but don’t go putting me in any statement with that guy.

            Please?

          • Resistor Radio

            My apologies, I feel terrible, can you forgive me?

          • Rick Hill

            Well….I’m not really angry but if you’ll grovel a little it would be ok

          • Resistor Radio

            Like, on my knees? ;)

          • Rick Hill

            Well….as long as I don’t have to be the bad guy.

          • Resistor Radio

            No, you get to be the good guy

          • Rick Hill

            White hat and a little sparkle when I smile. ‘k?

          • Resistor Radio

            I’ll take it

          • Rick Hill

            Ah. I found these a different way…

            Now, continue..

          • Resistor Radio

            Yeah, I was like dude? Really?
            I was hoping for a little more interest.

          • Rick Hill

            Out here? In public? Shirley, you jest.

          • Resistor Radio

            Hey, I’d be happy to take it offline.
            And surely, don’t call me that.

          • Rick Hill

            Awww, you’re just looking for a good drywaller…

          • Resistor Radio

            Well, that may be a part of your charm, but definitely not the bulk of it.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, I can drywall. I didn’t say I was good at it.

          • Resistor Radio

            Ok, to keep from bouncing around too much (but I’m cute when I bounce!) let’s stick with this thread?

          • Rick Hill

            heehehee. I was just saying the same thing:
            I’m really getting lost. Stay here for a bit, make it a little easier for me

          • Resistor Radio

            I know! I read your getting lost comment and was smart enough to come back over to respond to it. Clever, huh?

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, you’re a real smartie pie.

          • Resistor Radio

            Awww, sometimes a smart ass too!

          • Rick Hill

            I was thinking….

          • Resistor Radio

            Go on…

          • Rick Hill

            Proly should be redacted, too. Where is your renovations, at, btw?

          • Resistor Radio

            Like geographic locale, or progress in being complete?

          • Rick Hill

            It sounds like you have a lot of work that needs to be done. I think I know where some of that is but where is you? Proly too far but I always look for new openings.

          • Resistor Radio

            Kentucky

          • Rick Hill

            I”m in Dayton. Sounds like you have a lot on your hands. I just hired two new guys part time. We have a lot of work but….just went over to a prospective client tonight. I thought he would sign off this month but he just let me know he would contact me in January. Not sure if that leaves me hanging but it might

          • Rick Hill

            Also, I wouldn’t have guessed. you don’t have much of an accent

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh wow, you’re pretty close! Yeah, I didn’t grow up here. I am a carpetbagger, I guess they’d say.

          • Rick Hill

            Another redacted.
            Ot but I’m trying to figure out whether I should make a run for something more to drink or if I should just bump up to the whiskey I have here. A lot of effort to go to the store…

          • Resistor Radio

            Well, the whiskey would probably help you to fall asleep, but you might regret it in the morning.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah. I don’t usually drink it. I don’t usually have much trouble sleeping. Usually.

            (Also, it’s not that I drink so much. No beer gut at all.)

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m currently wagon-adjacent. As in, not getting drunk but I had a cocktail at lunch with Mom today

          • Rick Hill

            A lightweight, eh?

          • Resistor Radio

            Eh, more like being wagon adjacent keeps me from being a jackass

          • Rick Hill

            Again with the ass

          • Resistor Radio

            You should see when I give it a wiggle

          • Rick Hill

            Sorry, that looks weird when it’s on a loop

          • Resistor Radio

            You lost me

          • Rick Hill

            I had a The Mask gif up. the heart pounding out of his chest. It looked odd, repeating over and over again so I disappeared it

          • Resistor Radio

            Ah, I missed it…I was heating up some broth for dinner. Big lunch so I wasn’t hungry until now.

          • Rick Hill

            I wondered why you were absent. I had a burrito this afternoon, been skipping supper for a while, now. The last few days, at least

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s funny, I was just remembering something from lunch today…

          • Rick Hill

            That is funny…..heheheheh. Wait. What?

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh nothing, my brain is slow sometimes

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, right. I’m thinking you’re a little too smert

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m a little bit smart, but not the fastest knife in the shed.
            (That is not a threat)

          • Rick Hill

            I’d say you’re still trying to mesh the accurate analyzation of your surroundings with the sloppy actuality of reality. (I just made this. Being RR making observations) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ec68507cd0ec129b8abfb75d7335cbf185ce410a5f97742abd01b7e7602b230c.png

          • Resistor Radio

            That is remarkably understanding, thank you. That Fry is RR talking to herself, though :)

          • Rick Hill

            Well, because you obviously wouldn’t be thinking that right now…

          • Resistor Radio

            No, I’m not thinking that about you! Hardly think you’re fckin stupid.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah , just making sure that you didn’t think that I thought that you were thinking that I thought you were saying….

          • Resistor Radio

            Gahahahahahaha, okay that made me laugh out loud. Just kicking myself, is all. Frustrating that my brain works on a delay.

          • Rick Hill

            The scientific term is the “Wait. What? Review?” command line for the organic computational system

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh I like that!!!

          • Rick Hill

            I had to take out a question mark, fixed it.

          • Resistor Radio

            Got it, I’ve gotta remember that one

          • Rick Hill

            I get the sense that you are unrepentantly nerdish.

          • Resistor Radio

            The girl can’t help it

          • Rick Hill

            You are delightful. Though, being librul, you obviously can’t get your mind outta the gutter.

            (Damn browser keeps hanging up on me)

          • Resistor Radio

            Thank you for finding me delightful, even with my naughty thoughts

          • Rick Hill

            Bits? Errr, oh. Thoughts. Yes, um, quite.

          • Resistor Radio

            Naughty bits are good, also too

          • Rick Hill

            Assept in the dark when they tend to bump into each other

          • Resistor Radio

            Did you mean to say especially instead of assept? Because I’m suddenly very…amused
            Edit: well, not so suddenly

          • Rick Hill

            Sorry. Dimmed autofck.

          • Resistor Radio

            Autofck is a cofvsucker

          • Rick Hill

            Awww, flick. I accidentally closed this, I lost half of what we said around this reply. And covfeefee, I don’t know any.

          • Resistor Radio

            You were tickling my humerus

          • Rick Hill

            (Opening thesaurus…)

          • Resistor Radio

            Skip it, just tickle something else

          • Rick Hill

            Just checking to see if I missed a new term for that…

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m not much of an expert on all the new slang

          • Rick Hill

            Funny how the native tongue stays the same no matter how much it changes.

          • Rick Hill

            And, aren’t we insistent? I’ll get around to things in good time.

          • Resistor Radio

            You have my attention…

          • Rick Hill

            And you, mine

          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            Mmmmm
            (But not the Christian Bale gif mmmm)

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Now I’M the one with a cheese-eating grin! Seriously, big smile right now.

          • Rick Hill

            (Non comment…no words spoken)

          • Resistor Radio

            Unspoken, but…

          • Rick Hill

            the moment not wasted…

          • Resistor Radio

            Exactly :)

          • Rick Hill

            That was good….

          • Resistor Radio

            This is good…

          • Rick Hill

            Awkward medium yet unique, too.

          • Rick Hill

            “Flight of the seabirds, scattered like lost words. Wheel to the storm and fly. “

          • Resistor Radio

            I don’t know that song, but it’s a beautiful lyric

          • Rick Hill

            Just for you to imagine….
            Seabirds,
            Flying out at sea….
            the currents of wind about them,
            a raging storm
            shifting and changing…

            Basically a great metaphor for living in the moment, the second. Destruction around you but,
            flying…soaring…being alive….

          • Resistor Radio

            Wow. Just, yeah.
            I want to see you

          • Rick Hill

            Sure.

          • Resistor Radio

            When?

          • Rick Hill

            *sigh*

            Idk.I know what you want. What you need. Right now.

          • Resistor Radio

            Yes

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah and more than just that.

          • Resistor Radio

            I meant more than also just that. You, tangible, barriers down

          • Rick Hill

            Awkward medium. I was saying what I have is more than what you ask

          • Resistor Radio

            Is that a bad thing, though? Edit: I’m confused

          • Rick Hill

            No, just letting you know…

          • Resistor Radio

            So let’s lock eyes, and more…

          • Rick Hill

            You’re awfully confident
            (sly look with a bit of a gleam in my eye…shut up! I said it was awkward)

          • Resistor Radio

            You can’t possibly be any more awkward than me!

          • Rick Hill

            The medium,. not me. I’ve got a lot of practice getting over stiff situations

          • Resistor Radio

            You’ll have to show me…
            (And yes, awkward medium, and why I want to experience talking to you in person)

          • Rick Hill

            I have a bit of experience teaching. Though it has been a while since I’ve covered some subjects.

          • Resistor Radio

            I like learning…is there a particular subject area you’re thinking of?

          • Rick Hill

            Maybe a venn diagram would be best…a merging of exploring human physiology, social interaction and intimate psychological connections would be the best descriptor

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh, I kinda figured that, or guessed that, that you had a particular expertise in that sense, so…?

          • Rick Hill

            I usually just wing it…

          • Resistor Radio

            So come over here and wing it

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, just tempering your expectations. I still do “Awesome” Sometimes, I approach it very obliquely.

          • Resistor Radio

            I think you’re wonderful, but not superhuman. That’s not my expectation, at all…you can’t disappoint, as long as we’re honest with each other

          • Rick Hill

            *winks*
            Yeah, We got a fire going but it took a little coaxing. I wasn’t even trying to start a campfire, let alone a blazing inferno.
            Though I have to say, the damn shops freezing again.
            (also, not superhuman but likely a demigod)

          • Resistor Radio

            You get like 23 upfists for that.
            Well, you should ditch the cold shop and make your way to me, my heater works just fine, as does my home’s HVAC *wink*
            Seriously, I want to see you

          • Rick Hill

            Ok. Let me get with you tomorrow. I really have been missing out on sleep. and it’s midnight already. Have this, until tomorrow.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I

          • Resistor Radio

            Okay, I’m gonna hold you to that, or hold you, tomorrow. I’m sleepy too, and also need sleep. I’m going to have sweet dreams, and I suspect you will as well. Ok, gonna hit “play” on the youstube, goodnight, I…

          • Rick Hill

            I’m not mist and vapor. Vanishing ‘pon morn’s first light. .
            ‘night.

          • Resistor Radio

            That was beautiful. :)

          • Rick Hill

            It’s morning, heading out to the site again. I’ll be around tonight

          • Resistor Radio

            Good morning! Did you sleep well?

          • Rick Hill

            hold on, im on the phone

          • Rick Hill

            Hi. Yeah, slept well enough. I hope you did as well. Anyway, I’m running around now and my mind is all workish. Trying to get ready. Keep warm, I’ll be around later today

          • Resistor Radio

            Okay, yay, can’t wait, I’ll try to stay warm, and…YAY :)

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, I’m smiling.

          • Resistor Radio

            Meeeeeee too

          • Rick Hill

            One new guy is running late, the other just showed up. Trying to get moving but I wanted to give a look over your way first.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m smiling while you look my way

          • Rick Hill

            Ttfn!

          • Resistor Radio

            Mwah

          • Resistor Radio

            How’s worky stuff going?

          • Rick Hill

            Just got back in to the shop…

          • Resistor Radio

            Hi!

          • Rick Hill

            HI back!

          • Rick Hill

            I’m catching my breath….be gentle with me

          • Resistor Radio

            Always, and me too, please

          • Rick Hill

            Well, only where needed

          • Resistor Radio

            So…what’s the plan?

          • Rick Hill

            Several x-wing fighters will travel down the trench set into the onboard navigation computer…wait, not that plan, right? A different one?

          • Resistor Radio

            Well, we can do that later, buuuuuut…do I get to see you, is what I’m asking?

          • Rick Hill

            How far do I have to go?

          • Resistor Radio

            Not far. I can meet you halfway

          • Rick Hill

            You don’t want me to go all the way?

          • Resistor Radio

            Ask me again in person

          • Rick Hill

            I’m hoping it’s not too far….seeing as you also need a little renovation assistance. I may be open to doing something to help you

          • Resistor Radio

            It’s not too far

          • Rick Hill

            I have references….

          • Resistor Radio

            I also have references, mostly pop culture

          • Rick Hill

            I are a perfessional!

          • Resistor Radio

            A good Luc Besson film.
            (See what I did there?)

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Woah, that’s gorgeous.
            Also, too, I’m really super confused right now.

          • Rick Hill

            My references. I made that wine room. 3000 bottle capacity, solid mahogany. Custom made doors, arch, outside paneling. Also, the table was purchased in S America and I cut it down to fit the space. I do drywalling but this is what I have a name for

          • Resistor Radio

            I…feel dumb

          • Rick Hill

            Why? I am past “anything for a buck” but I do all types of work. Also, I don’t always charge the same for my work. Heck, a lot of times I give away too much of my time to people I don’t even like so why can’t I just do what I need to help you out?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/553e5ae6f097a48e55112ff0939e08fe120424847b0726b276e5e56faac6bc61.jpg

          • Resistor Radio

            I wasn’t talking about that, silly. You do very fine work, I would be happy to have you come in and improve all the stuff I tried to do.

            Unrelated to that, my face is burning right now and I’m feeling dumb.

          • Rick Hill

            Lucky Dumb….

          • Resistor Radio

            I don’t know what that means :)

          • Rick Hill

            Feeling
            v
            -Touching in an exploratory manner, for purposes of discovery or generating pleasure

          • Resistor Radio

            Well that sounds nice

          • Rick Hill

            I’m saying….

          • Resistor Radio

            You’re saying…?

          • Rick Hill

            Dumb is lucky. Very punny, if you think about it…

          • Resistor Radio

            Ah yes, I was trying for rhymes and failing to come up with anything. Confusing medium.

          • Rick Hill

            Also, even though I’m world famous, I’m still just Rick

          • Resistor Radio

            I just thought I was going to see you sooner. Like today. And I feel dumb for getting that wrong. Again.

          • Rick Hill

            Oh, I’m sorry. I am trying to get to see you this weekend. I’m way behind on this renovation and absolutely no way to leave until the walls are painted. I think Saturday for about a day I can get away. I forgot you are not reading my mind.

          • Resistor Radio

            Thank you, I was starting to freak out again. This isn’t the first time I’d gotten my wires crossed about a visit and I didn’t want to go through that again.

          • Rick Hill

            I don’t have to wait in line, do I?

          • Resistor Radio

            No. No. Not even close.

          • Rick Hill

            I think I understand. I said I’d work it out today. Just looking at my schedule, the progress I’m making. I have to get a certain amount of work accomplished and then have a sub come in on Sat. Now I’m able to see I can get away Saturday, late afternoon and then about a day’s time. I know you were hoping I could take a weekend off…it’s just rotten timing.

            I was very distracted, today… at any rate

          • Resistor Radio

            It will be so great to be able to hang out.

          • Rick Hill

            I also started thinking of how you need help. If you are close enough, I think I can do some knight in somewhat battered, tarnished and pieced together armor type of stuffs. I just got back in the shop and that was more in my mind when you popped up. My apologies for confusing you and getting your hopes up

          • Resistor Radio

            This is a confusing medium, it’s okay, don’t feel bad (badly?), I’m anxious for tangible contact, for my own sanity, yes, but mostly I’m just eager to spend time with you.

          • Rick Hill

            You didn’t do well with christmas, did you? Waiting just not one of your strong points?

          • Resistor Radio

            Hahahahaha, well, waiting’s not great, but the harder thing is thinking something is going to happen, being sure of it, and then it just doesn’t. Then I start to doubt why I thought it would, and…I guess I can say that disappointment is harder than waiting. But if you tell me you’ll definitely be here late afternoon Saturday, then I will look forward to that and enjoy the anticipation up until then. If you tell me “maybe, maybe not, I don’t know,” I end up with some crappy feels. Which makes me sound needy, I realize.

          • Rick Hill

            “Which makes me sound needy, I realize.”
            Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty needy, too.
            Don’t worry though. Rick is a constant.
            Yeah, Saturday looks good, just trying to find how far to go to add to the plans…

          • Resistor Radio

            Too bad it’s not a good time for you to take a few days, we could go to Hawaii or something, get away from the brrrr cold.

          • Rick Hill

            Easier ways to get away from the cold but a great idea.

          • Resistor Radio

            I can think of a few ways to warm up within the confines of a 24 hour period.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, you said you had a functional heating source for your home so that should be no concern…

            Ceg…..

          • Resistor Radio

            When I looked up “ceg,” gugle suggested Conservative Euro Group? I don’t have one of those

          • Rick Hill

            Cheese…

          • Resistor Radio

            Cedar?

          • Rick Hill

            Eating….

            Ok. I know you’re smert. you have some..other things on your mind.

          • Resistor Radio

            Well now my mind has taken a dirty turn…

          • Rick Hill

            Well, I do know how to care for that condition, certainly. (Ok, this was redacted)

          • Resistor Radio

            Good way to warm up, too. I’m excited to [redacted] and [redacted] and also, [redacted], but I’m really looking forward to just being able to talk while being sweet and smiling and holding hands and omg I feel silly but in a good way.

          • Rick Hill

            (about five thousand things I want to say but….awkward medium)

          • Resistor Radio

            Should I be deleting some of these?

          • Rick Hill

            What? What we’ve been saying?

          • Resistor Radio

            Yeah, not delete the sentiment, but delete the non-comment?

          • Rick Hill

            Well….I do have email notifications. I find it weird that a week after I make a comment, someone will reply. I do not doubt that we are under observation, now.

          • Resistor Radio

            Under observation, like in real-time?

          • Rick Hill

            I feel like we are walking in a crowd, when we started out, talking here but we stood still and talked, the crowd moved on. Feeling like we are all alone on a cold, winter’s night all by ourselves. That, may be an illusion.

            Regardless, I would not articulate any differently, not being quite as crude as SOME people I could name…

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s a good description, even if you did just imply I’m crude (dirty, cheeky librul, what are ya gonna do?). Like I’m aware that it’s entirely possible that someone is lurking over our shoulders right now, but at the same time this is buried in a thread, you know? It’s my impression that non-commentariat romances aren’t unheard of, I mean, I’m speaking only to you, but I wouldn’t feel terribly embarrassed if we were overheard. You know? But still, before I go to sleep I may delete a comment near the top (that would delete all the replies, I think?) that way neither one of us gets a notification a week from now from a random, which would be weird. Make sense?

          • Rick Hill

            Idk. I’m feeling happy, my thoughts around talking on a dark cold night, two people wondering why they aren’t inside where it’s warm. Not thinking too much serious stuff but I do keep getting notifications, I tried the deleting the upper comment but down thread remained.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m feeling happy too, it’s nice, and I’m glad we’re talking, even if I’m CRUDE sometimes :)

          • Rick Hill

            “…even if I’m CRUDE sometimes :)”
            Well, I guess i’ll let it slide…

          • Resistor Radio

            …or I’ll slide on [redacted]

          • Rick Hill

            Look at how well I’m teaching you to read into Rick’s comments….

          • Resistor Radio

            I am capable of learning…yay!

          • Rick Hill

            As long as I can put food on my students.

          • Resistor Radio

            All the better to nibble it off…

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, I’m feeling a bit peckish….

          • Resistor Radio

            Such a versatile word, means hungry, of course, but phonetically it’s obelisk-adjacent, which has made me type and delete about four variations of what I’d like to feel.

          • Rick Hill

            I’m pretty sure I am capable of at least three….

          • Resistor Radio

            Well I’m not more adventurous than that, I actually meant four different ways to say the same thing.

          • Rick Hill

            Dawgone, I’m hungry. Did I mention I haven’t eaten supper, tonight?

            (Read, read read)

          • Resistor Radio

            I am hungry, also too. Very.

          • Rick Hill

            I’m not much of a cook but I can throw together a meal that’s satisfying.

          • Resistor Radio

            Tasty, and filling, I’m sure

          • Rick Hill

            Well, it helps to start out with good ingredients but, it is quite literally in the preparation and presentation that makes it special

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m taking a long time to answer because I’ve got no words, my brain just looking forward to the culinary experience

          • Rick Hill

            Well, you say you think too much. Part of the experience is learning to savor the moment, the different sensations. Not that I limit myself to teaching. I’m not quite used to anyone that is as eager to give as to receive, so I’m willing to be student…in theory

          • Resistor Radio

            We’ll have to find a happy medium, where we both enjoy the exploration, as I know we will. We’re both of us used to giving more than receiving, it sounds like, which will be interesting, and likely wonderful.

          • Resistor Radio

            The crude thing, heh heh, was that because you saw my comment this morning about not-spitting? I did worry if that was a little too far, but it was funny.

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, now. I missed that one. Throw it at me again.
            (Besides, awkward medium, again. )

          • Resistor Radio

            Lol, I had to go back and find it, I knew it was about a dick joke but couldn’t remember it exactly. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fca9b994bcf656fbf784085a2f4b5cd1ce105302e900c00973e590209558ba0c.jpg

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            That just literally made me laugh out loud! When I was waitressing in San Francisco in the nineties, I worked with a bunch of raunchy gay dudes, and we’d just go all day being filthy hilarious, no holds barred, all in good fun…the non-commentariat brings that humor out in me too, but sometimes I wonder if too inappropriate

          • Rick Hill

            I also just looked back and saw the comment I made, I intended to say I would be back in the shop later but you must have assumed I was dropping by. Apologies. and, anyway, I didn’t know where to go…

          • Resistor Radio

            Just pick one of the five thousand to say and make me smile

          • Rick Hill

            Well, I keep starting something but either assplaining it or typing it all out, it starts to lose something and I start on something new, to the same results. You can pretty much read what you want to in what I do say and know that was what I was aiming for

          • Resistor Radio

            The girl is feeling both sweetly romantic and sexxxytimes naughty at the same time.

          • Rick Hill

            Quite a balancing act. Did I mention I am also a tightrope walker?

          • Resistor Radio

            Yet another of Rick’s hidden talents. You do amaze…

          • Rick Hill

            You, actually, have no idea…

          • Resistor Radio

            Can’t wait to discover them all

          • Rick Hill

            That. May take a bit of time. Also it might require adequate feedback. Our customer service division likes to ensure we are meeting all needs, of course

          • Resistor Radio

            I look forward to exploring all your hidden talents, providing feedback as needed. :)

          • Rick Hill

            We here at Hill central aim to please!

          • Resistor Radio

            Something something, climb that Hill, something

          • Rick Hill

            Climb up a hill, come down a mountain?

          • Resistor Radio

            I’ve got the blushing giggles

          • Rick Hill

            Oh? You take so long to reply, I wondered what your hands were busy with. I guess you were only giggling…

          • Resistor Radio

            You take just as long to reply! I’m trying to be aware of the awkward medium, and as such am being more careful of the words I choose. But no, I’m typing with both hands. Though I’m definitely aware of how the comedy…feels

          • Rick Hill

            I choose my words carefully, but there are so many things to say, as well.
            You have to watch the comedy, it can be a slippery slope….

          • Resistor Radio

            I can agree that it definitely IS a slippery slope.

          • Rick Hill

            That, is one slope I know how to groom

          • Resistor Radio

            I look forward to seeing your handiwork

          • Rick Hill

            Well, I may be a bit rusty. I’ve got a good working background but not much real world practice lately. (A enthusiastic audience is always helpful)

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m eager to dine, but I’m looking forward to cooking for you too

          • Rick Hill

            Can I vere off topic? I was just thinking of what you said tonight. About working in SF. Last night when you mentioned being a carpet…bagger in KY I was going to say to you I had the feeling you were rather from the Bay area but I thought it sounded stupid and I didn’t want to be wrong.

          • Resistor Radio

            Ok I’m glad you veered off-subject, because that last exchange put the song “Teacher’s Pet” from Waiting for Guffman in my head and it was making me laugh and be silly but was worried you’d think I was being too cheesy if I told you. :)

            Anyway, to your question, I lived in CA for about 20 years, mostly Monterey Bay Area, Sf for a few years, and also north of Sac.

          • Rick Hill

            I’ve said before “I’m not from here but I’ve been there.”
            I was in Socal for a while in the Navy. In Santa Cruz(Boulder Creek) after that.

          • Resistor Radio

            Boulder Creek is beautiful. A Navy man, eh? Rrawr

          • Rick Hill

            I don’t have much from that but I did look pretty good in uniform

          • Resistor Radio

            Chicks dig a man in uniform

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah…well….
            I don’t have it so I’d be out of uniform

          • Resistor Radio

            Even better, though once we meet I reserve the right to imagine you in uniform. :)

          • Rick Hill

            I used to have one picture of me in my dress whites. It was much requested(I made a lot of copies. Not that I ever got anything in return)
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27LLPANAgzw

          • Resistor Radio

            Nice. I liked that one…not a big Tom Waits fan, haven’t heard much that I liked, but I liked that one. And too bad you don’t have that pic anymore

          • Rick Hill

            I have the Orpheum show, It is a lot different than this. Thought it would be a cheeky statement
            “I look good without a shirt…”

          • Resistor Radio

            It *was* cheeky, I just missed the connection to my prior “even better out of uniform” thought.

          • Rick Hill

            I think the cheekies look pretty good, too.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m wearing some cheekies

          • Rick Hill

            *eyebrow raises*
            Go on…

          • Resistor Radio

            Lacy ones

          • Rick Hill

            You know….
            The last few nights have been pretty hard getting a full night’s sleep.

            It being so cold it’s been even harder to get out of bed.

          • Resistor Radio

            a few days and I can show them to you, rather than merely describe…

          • Rick Hill

            Yes but then they’re almost useless as a cast aside.

          • Resistor Radio

            True, but fun to wear AND fun to take off, so, worth it

          • Rick Hill

            Btw. What did your dentist say?

          • Resistor Radio

            Green light ;)

          • Rick Hill

            Good to know but, it’s ok, regardless

          • Resistor Radio

            I know you were being cheeky ;)

          • Rick Hill

            Ceg….

          • Resistor Radio

            I still don’t get that

          • Rick Hill

            Cheese. Eating…..

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh. DUUUURRRRRRR
            I should have gotten that!

          • Resistor Radio

            I did love that joke

          • Resistor Radio

            Said flossing is an important part of [redacted]

          • Rick Hill

            Yoinks!

          • Resistor Radio

            Got your attention?

          • Rick Hill

            (Breathy and barely able to muster)

            Un-huh.

          • Resistor Radio

            Seriously, I wish you were here right now.

          • Rick Hill

            Me too.

          • Resistor Radio

            So are we definitely on for Saturday, or do you still need to check on arranging things?

          • Rick Hill

            I’ve learned not to say definitely, Especially this last year. I won’t say I will be there no matter what because that has been the kiss of death. But.

          • Resistor Radio

            But…?

          • Rick Hill

            Is it ok I tease you a little?

          • Resistor Radio

            Like you’re going to tease me by not telling me if you’re gonna visit or not, or start teasing me right now about something else?

          • Rick Hill

            I’m tickling, not being cruel.
            But. I always make good. I am fairly motivated to see you, even if it’s just to see the look in your eye and give you a sweet smile and a… few other things.

          • Resistor Radio

            Okay, so I’ll cautiously anticipate seeing you on Saturday?

          • Rick Hill

            Most definitely.

          • Resistor Radio

            I can do that, I will do that. Just, just know that this is all confusing and quite a leap and I do need to see you in person.

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh, and it just dawned on me what you might be referring to when you asked if you could tease. And if I’m guessing correctly, yes, yes you can tease, I’m laughing about it too.

          • Resistor Radio

            Thank you for being understanding. :). I mean it

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, about a hundred things are trying to get through my brain right now and none are making sense.(This is about my tenth shot at this. Irl, give me a little patience and we can get a fire going from a few embers.)

          • Resistor Radio

            Irl, I’ll be as patient as you need, truly.

          • Rick Hill

            Ceg. I like how magical this is, awkward or not. I think, having a little fun, it can be the same…not that I have any reference for this particular interaction. I can mesh real life and get folks laughing but not on such an intimate scale as this. So, it’s kind of an assperiment….

          • Resistor Radio

            I have zero reference for this particular type of interaction. This is more intimate than I could even imagine, even though yeah, this medium is awkward af. So I’m nervous about in-person, and I know my heart is gonna be racing when I expect your arrival and I know it’s gonna be great but also we’re both gonna be nervous, I think. I will. But I think once that threshold has been crossed, we’re gonna be so good, so right. Can’t wait to look into your blue eyes.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, all I can say is that I’ve learned to be confident enough in myself to be able to connect with someone, I am used to getting over awkward spots and I think I can even cancel out nervousness. We just have to mesh the different gearings of the intimacy we have here with the reality of two strangers meeting. Sounds like it could be fun to me. Worst case it’s a train wreck. best case…..the piece that’s always been missing but you know it’s out there somewhere.

          • Resistor Radio

            It’s not gonna be a train wreck. I already know that. I know.

          • Rick Hill

            Or it just might wind up in the middle….

            Read, read…..

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh, I’m reading. And thinking of the title sequence from Strangelove…

          • Rick Hill

            Did you fall asleep?

          • Resistor Radio

            No, just struggling mightily to find words to describe my feelings…

          • Rick Hill

            I saw. you’re good.

          • Resistor Radio

            I am ready for sleep, my eyes are heavy and my heart is light

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, I’ve had too many sleepless nights. I also need to get more finished so I have time to travel this weekend. I’ll hit you up in the morning, before I head out.(Head in?)

          • Resistor Radio

            Yes, rest up so you can get worky stuffs done for the weekend! I’m smiling, yes, and we’ll say good morning.

          • Rick Hill

            You’re keeping me up too much. Anyhoo, ‘Nights, to you. keep warm and dry….

          • Resistor Radio

            Warm, yes. Good night

          • Rick Hill

            Wait a sec

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Beautiful, thank tou

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Cat’s got style….

            Good morning!

          • Rick Hill

            Heheh. ‘Morning. Though reality is more like:
            https://i.ytimg.com/vi/sH9iudba8l4/hqdefault.jpg

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Same! It was so windy last night, howling, kept waking me up, thought a big bad wolf was blowing down my house or something!

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah wind y here, too. So you had to rub your eyes a bit before getting up?

          • Resistor Radio

            I can’t believe I’m still in bed…I never sleep this late!

          • Resistor Radio

            And I read the rub…

          • Rick Hill

            Was about to say “Still in bed? Must need a lot of rubbing this morning”

          • Resistor Radio

            Morning lady wood

          • Rick Hill

            (Hungry growl)…..

            Must be my stomach…Yeah. I must be hungry for a bite….

          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            Damn, you’re a cutie. I’m laughing.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m smiling too

          • Rick Hill

            Also, from the song I just posted:
            Call on me and I’ll be there
            For the price of a taxi ride….

          • Resistor Radio

            I missed this one! I don’t get the taxi ride part but I’m all for calling on you, you being there

          • Rick Hill

            All that’s needed is the cost of a taxi….

            I have to get some work done. I’ve been lazy in the evening. I need to get something going before the guys get here at 9. Headed to Cinci again, I don’t think it will be too late tonight

          • Resistor Radio

            I encourage you to get many works completed, ensuring you’ve got some free time on your hands this weekend. Well, I hope your hands are busy this weekend, just not with worky stuffs…

            Cinti’s a great town. :)

          • Resistor Radio

            And, wink, you got something going with me, before 9

          • Rick Hill

            (Even hungrier growl)

          • Resistor Radio

            OT: the pics of that beautiful work you’ve been doing, was that cedar?

          • Rick Hill

            That one ws mahogany

          • Resistor Radio

            Heh, I guess there’s a lot you can yeah me about wood

          • Rick Hill

            One handed typing?

          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            Wow, I didn’t know you had one of those, handy.

            I’m still in the shop, I find myself gravitating towards the pc, for some reason…

          • Resistor Radio

            No – go away – I’m counting on you to accomplish stuffs so we can spend time this weekend!

          • Rick Hill

            Oh, I’m working. Finishing up some exterior doors for a different client. Leaving shortly

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Heyyyyyyy

          • Rick Hill

            Hey back.

          • Resistor Radio

            Made it safely home from a long day in the salt mines?

          • Rick Hill

            The gypsum mines

          • Resistor Radio

            As long as a no one has put a gypsum curse on you!

          • Rick Hill

            It would certainly be difficult to find someone to break that curse.

          • Resistor Radio

            Perhaps a gypsum moth?

          • Rick Hill

            I don’t know if that was so terrible it broke my brain or my brain is too tired to attempt one of it’s own

          • Resistor Radio

            It’s okay, I’m brain tired too. The howling wind last night kept waking me up so all day I’ve felt wired and punchy.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah that seems a common theme today. An ill wind must have blown in

          • Resistor Radio

            I hope it’s passed. None of my trees fell down, woke up to a peaceful morning, no worse for wear.

          • Rick Hill

            Just got back from another fun filled drivings. Ohm but I like to have the funs

          • Resistor Radio

            Funs are good

          • Rick Hill

            Meh…..

          • Resistor Radio

            Maybe we have a different definition of fun?

          • Rick Hill

            Well, my life is a non stop, fun filled, no, fun packed vacation destination. It gets old after a bit.

          • Resistor Radio

            So a vacation for you would be be a week in an actual salt mine?

          • Rick Hill

            Ohhh! Really?

          • Resistor Radio

            Lololol, well I wasn’t quite thinking along those lines, but all mines have a tunnel, and a shaft. ;)

          • Rick Hill

            Get a guys hopes up…..

          • Resistor Radio

            Just your hopes?

          • Rick Hill

            You’re not too tired, I see….

          • Resistor Radio

            And I don’t have a headache, either

          • Rick Hill

            I am not certain my frontal lobe is working, right now. Trying a drink to jump start it…

          • Resistor Radio

            If you’re overworked and tired and lacking sleep, I understand if you want to go to sleep earlier tonight. Because I’m being selfish and want you to be well-rested to do enough worky stuffs to take some time off this weekend

          • Rick Hill

            I’m doing well on that end. I may try to go to sleep earlier, not certain if I can fight off my new addiction to be able to do that

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m happy to get my Rick fix

          • Rick Hill

            A good thing you’re not using nicknames

          • Resistor Radio

            Heh

          • Rick Hill

            I never understood Ricks who want to be called that

          • Resistor Radio

            I wonder when that nickname became slang for anatomy? Probably goes back to Chaucer or something

          • Resistor Radio

            What did I just watch??????
            Russian Lawrence Welk?

          • Rick Hill

            Sorry. I didn’t know it was your first time.

          • Rick Hill

            It’s a thing. A very FAMOUS thing.

          • Resistor Radio

            How famous can it be if I’ve never seen it before? ;)

          • Rick Hill

            It has 36,373,100 views and now you’re one.

          • Resistor Radio

            How have I never seen that before? It’s like I just got on the Internet, like yesterday. Hey, have you ever heard of lolcat? :D

          • Rick Hill

            I’ve only seen it because he died last year. Some parts of the internets are better left ignored

          • Resistor Radio

            I don’t doubt that.

          • Rick Hill

            Hey. Can you dance like this?(yousetubes just suggested it)
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjWEkWAq6z4

          • Resistor Radio

            Holy smoke, I’m so impressed with that!!! I wish I had those moves!

          • Rick Hill

            Either they attract the best dancers or they inspire them. I think i could learn that but I wish it had been a thing twenty years ago.

          • Resistor Radio

            I think I could learn that, with practice, there wasn’t anything too acrobatic, and a lot of the moves have shown up in Zumba class

          • Rick Hill

            You do zumba?

          • Resistor Radio

            Not currently, it I have in the past. It’s been years, though.

          • Rick Hill

            I see. Too old and creaky now. You should be working on keeping your joints lubed.

            (I was just on the phone, the client is picking up the doors Saturday morning)

          • Resistor Radio

            That is excellent news (instead of Saturday evening instead of Sunday morning!). Yeah, I like the low-impact cardio these days, or, at least in theory. I need to get back on my elliptical.

          • Rick Hill

            So far I don’t need to exercise. At least, I could but I would rather work harder than put time in a gym. Everything is still pretty hard

          • Resistor Radio

            I could take your word for it, but I look forward to discovering that for myself

          • Rick Hill

            I have some inspections of my own to conduct. I’ll bring my own clipboard and pencils, not to worry

          • Resistor Radio

            I look forward to that, as well

          • Rick Hill

            You’ve got me looking forward to cute and quirky.(I already know you’re pretty smart)
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/83eda74d760fbd7163a4d1d66d45b7c91b626c1ca1c285136e46e071853467c1.gif?w=600&h=325

          • Resistor Radio

            Isn’t that one adorable? I love that gif, isn’t it sweet?

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah well, she is a sweetie, for sure.

          • Resistor Radio

            So is he

          • Rick Hill

            A damn handsome man, is a more accurate descriptor.

            Ceg

          • Resistor Radio

            Damn handsome, indeed

          • Rick Hill

            She’s completely cute, even though she is so far removed from current, warped standards.

          • Resistor Radio

            Well today’s standards are too narrow and cookie-cutter

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah. A gril like her, her figure would be too big for movies today. She’s just perfect and sweet.

          • Resistor Radio

            Soft and sweet, I’m glad you have an appreciation for that :)

          • Rick Hill

            I always thought an hourglass figure was to help you keep good time

          • Resistor Radio

            An hourglass figure is good for many things, including time keeping

          • Rick Hill

            “including time keeping”
            If properly calibrated

          • Rick Hill

            Hey, I have to go back and clean a spray gun.May take a few minutes. Keep your engine running

          • Resistor Radio

            Spray gun, eh? ;)

          • Rick Hill

            Hey. I had enough of that, I had three women working for me once and if I said we need to screw or nail it was nothing butthe jokes

          • Resistor Radio

            Wimmins be sexually harassing you

          • Rick Hill

            No, two were lesbians. They were just immature.

          • Resistor Radio

            Ha, so I DID read that right the first time

          • Resistor Radio

            Well, if double entendres mean immaturity, I guess I’m immature :)

          • Rick Hill

            Well, it was a workplace setting. I know I run an informal shop but please. Also I’m not too crude and asspecially not with people I don’t have an attraction to.

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s a good way to be. Seriously, I’m sure the ladies you work with, generally, respect that.

          • Rick Hill

            The one said “I was one of the good ones.” I only had about five different ones (women)over the years.

          • Resistor Radio

            I have no doubt you ARE one of the good ones. (And when you’re bad, outside of the workplace, you’re better?)

          • Rick Hill

            “outside of the workplace, you’re better?”

            Somehow, any bragging that would include “Don’t want to blow my own horn.” doesnt seem like a good idea

          • Resistor Radio

            So much better when someone blows your horn for you. I mean, no one likes to brag.

          • Rick Hill

            That does work out a little more efficiently

          • Resistor Radio

            More fun, too

          • Rick Hill

            You know, with the images of Betty and Jean, you’re driving me to distraction. With the comments, too. also.

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s my intention, you know…I’m so excited to spend time this weekend, I hope to keep your attention

          • Rick Hill

            You certainly have a lot of confidence. I hope you are my Betty. Always a better choice than a Veronica, too,

          • Resistor Radio

            Well- I don’t know that I’m oh-so- very confident, but I know a pair of sparkly blue eyes make me weak in the knees

          • Rick Hill

            Not confident? Takes a lot to ask someone who hasn’t seen more than your transistors to come fly to you.

          • Resistor Radio

            Well I guess there’s just something about you…I promise I don’t go around propositioning men on the Internet!

          • Rick Hill

            I wouldn’t think so. I’ve spent my time snarking on Discuss and over at Tbogg(before he shut down) but never did this before. Everything about you is so different and tasty but I’m also not going around hitting everything that wiggles. I’m not choosy but….like I said, Betty’s boopable. And fun to have a joke with. And to hold. And…a bunch of other boring life stuff too boring to mention.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m not familiar w Tbogg, though the name sounds familiar from Twitter, maybe? I used to tweet but don’t anymore. I haven’t really interacted one-on-one like this with anyone I’ve met online before, usually just surface snark or friendly banter. This is…unique in my experience.

          • Rick Hill

            Tbogg. Originator(I think)of also, too.

          • Resistor Radio

            Really? Impressive, I thought that was a Wonkette thing. When I was on the faceplace, every time I’d share a mommyblog article to a group, like three people would sniff about “A Idiot”

          • Rick Hill

            I found his blog in ’09. My one Buddy had just died. I was…very sad. I happened on something that took me to his place, he had had a Basset that had just died, very untimely. It kind of drew me in, and then the rest of it, he had a special brand of snark and was widely liked and known(A somewhat popular blogger) He quit to write full time for RS.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m sorry about your Buddy…it’s interesting how clever snark doesn’t negate warmth and compassion, I think so many online try for snark and just come off as mean, you know? Too bad that site is gone, would probably be in my daily reading if it were still around.

          • Rick Hill

            Not sure how much is archived here. There are some real gems. One running gag type of thing, he would write about Naderites. You would look in the morning, there would be twenty comments. Come back at noon and there would be 5k. He really tweaked those folks
            http://tbogg.blogspot.com/

          • Resistor Radio

            Like the berniebros? I’ll poke around there tomorrow, some fun neovintage snark!

          • Rick Hill

            (Add this to the end of the long comment)
            And, I don’t go in for short term on anything. That’s why I work well with the boring stuffs.

          • Resistor Radio

            I…I don’t open up lightly, once you’ve got my heart, it’s yours

          • Rick Hill

            Eh, you were a piece of cake…

          • Resistor Radio

            GAHAHAHAHAHA

          • Rick Hill

            Tasty cake?

          • Resistor Radio

            The cake we like

          • Rick Hill

            Well,if it’s not a lie…

          • Resistor Radio

            Not a lie!

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, Betty

          • Rick Hill

            Okay, okay. You brought out the best in me. Ginger to my Fred.

          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            Really, part of my job I speak with customer service folks and delivery drivers, clients, etc. I am not your usual suspect and I am/have always been awkward. i seem to be good at putting people at ease and occasionally making them laugh.(Ok, I have regular customer service people that I never talk with them without making them laugh. And by being completely unique and charming)
            You’re the first time i’ve ever done it like this and it came very easily, like it was choreographed.

          • Resistor Radio

            Like a dance…

            I’m kind of similar, it’s very easy for me to be charming with people that I’m not interested in, but when I care I get way too awkward, and this is so remarkable, because from the moment we started talking, I’ve felt like I wanted to get to know you better, but also like I already did. I’m not describing that very well, except to say that it feels like there’s like an equal and mutual gravitational pull between us. I don’t know the astronomical term for that phenomena, but I picture two planets dancing around each other.

          • Rick Hill

            I have a unique skill set….

          • Resistor Radio

            Well yes, and yet beside your unique skills, there’s something more

          • Rick Hill

            I’m just Rick.

          • Resistor Radio

            I know, and just rick is wonderful

          • Rick Hill

            Well, thanks. (Guys don’t smile shyly and blush, so shut up.)
            Also, I usually like my anonymity, though I’m certain someone dedicated could look at what I’ve said over the last five or so years and find me. Aside from not wanting the rabid kooks who are conservative knowing me(some of my clients are rabid trump supporters) I like that I can be who i make myself. Which, what i make is me, who I am. (Truthfully)

            So….I understand not putting out sensitive information. So, if you had anything you wanted to communicate without letting a lot of people know. Something like, Idk, geographical coordinates, addresses…where th to drive to…you could send it to me here:
            wohohohohoo@yahoo.com

          • Resistor Radio

            Hold on, brb, I’m going to send you a quick email so you can delete that

          • Rick Hill

            Well…that’s like the photos I sent you. Pretty untraceable.

          • Resistor Radio

            I don’t understand how metadata works, who can view that metadata, like I know it exists, but I don’t know if any random person with the know-how can learn stuff from any photo posted anywhere online.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, that’s why I did google searches on the ones I sent. Copies that i dint’ put on the website. I’m certain a determined and smert individual could find me…they could also find me by what i’ve said has happened around me in my comments.

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s the thing, I just assume everything that’s out there is out there, it’s just whether or not someone is actively focused on you and trying to find it.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, I use other means to try to limit that.

          • Resistor Radio

            Smert, the Internet is both a blessing and a curse

          • Resistor Radio

            Sent.
            And…I appreciate that, I try to keep a low profile online these days, I used to just throw everything it there, where I was, what I was doing, my real name… not exactly smart, but I had no reason to assume it was dumb, you know? A few weeks ago I had read an editorial at TPM that freaked me right out; in describing the way ads/tracking etc works it scared the hell out of me, like if someone was actually looking for you, they could compare like credit card activity with social media posts to connect your online identity with your real life identity. And then I had read something else about being able to identify a person based on their favorite sportsball team…it’s just a brave new world that I don’t really get, but after reading that editorial I didn’t post anything online for like 3 days, just spooked. I don’t mean to sound like I’m overly paranoid, even if I am. My overall point being, I try to avoid putting identifiable information out there.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, I don’t want to run the risk of losing clients…and income, because someone read that I think trump is a dirty poopy head who eats his own boogers.

          • Resistor Radio

            My political leanings on faceplace, for example, never hurt me professionally, exactly, like never had a boss shit on me because of it. But when I was bartending, I know customers who’d found my page were shitty to me because of them. Did you get my email?

          • Rick Hill

            I did and I replied.

          • Rick Hill

            So, is this like, actually, private?

          • Resistor Radio

            Well it’s not private if you turn around and post it onto disqus

          • Rick Hill

            Oh. that was a sekrit? Shit. Sorry, I’ll make a joke and no one will know the wiser

          • Resistor Radio

            Well, that particular sentence wasn’t a sekrit, I was speaking of the medium in general.

          • Rick Hill

            Read the lastest one I just sent

          • Resistor Radio

            Should we continue this conversation over there, or stay here?

          • Rick Hill

            Depends upon how fast the mail service is. I’m looking over there,though

          • Resistor Radio

            I can’t tell if it’s lagging or if you haven’t quite responded yet. Why can’t it be as fast as disqus? All those systems of tubes?

          • Rick Hill

            Well, we could keep this up and make anyone who comes upon this wonder what we’re saying in private

          • Resistor Radio

            This is true. I don’t have a problem with that.

          • Rick Hill

            I am replying though…

          • Resistor Radio

            Good :)

          • Rick Hill

            Is it in yet?

            heheh

          • Resistor Radio

            If you have to ask….
            Hehehehe, yeah I just responded

          • Rick Hill

            I am confident enough in my own self to be the jokings

          • Resistor Radio

            Which is awesome, I like that we can do the jokings

          • Rick Hill

            You mean you’re about ready to start being funny? (about tim)

          • Resistor Radio

            I don’t know any jokes about Tim. :D

          • Rick Hill

            I’m trying to figure if you are being deliberately coy or just as a coinkidink

          • Resistor Radio

            You had made a crack about me starting to be funny, and then wrote (about tim) which I assumed was a type for “time” but I decided to be cheeky and take it literally.

          • Rick Hill

            I meant your email

          • Resistor Radio

            Ha, uhhhhh, yes, I was being literal in both mediums

          • Rick Hill

            “….be cheeky and take it literally.”

            So…can I assume?

          • Resistor Radio

            Assume what…?

          • Rick Hill

            Your improv needs work

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh I went there, I just wasn’t sure if that’s what you were implying

          • Rick Hill

            You’re saying the private parts on the public forum. Discipline, now!

          • Resistor Radio

            Well, if you’re going to discipline me…

          • Rick Hill

            Email-edacted

          • Resistor Radio

            I haz confuse now

          • Rick Hill

            Sorry, I was going to email a response but took a quick break and then checked on a color sample so I lost my train of thought, I just got back

          • Resistor Radio

            I still haz confuse

          • Rick Hill

            I was away from the pc. Also, new email, hurtling towards you…

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Something like that, I think I’m just sleepy and brain-slow, Sorry!

          • Rick Hill

            ‘s ok. I should head home.

          • Resistor Radio

            I thought you *were home! Now I feel bad for chit-chatting from my cozy bed

          • Rick Hill

            I have everything here at the shoop. no worries

          • Resistor Radio

            Good! They get the heat turned on yet?

          • Rick Hill

            It only turns on for a limited time. Right now it’s about 58 in the shop, my nose and my toes are chilly.

          • Resistor Radio

            I lower mine to 63 at bedtime, central heat but some rooms are warmer than others (old house), I think there’s a draft at the thermostat.

          • Rick Hill

            That’s about perfect for sleeping. Have you heard the truckers weather saying? It’s a little dirty, I can email it if you like

          • Resistor Radio

            I don’t know that one…

          • Rick Hill

            I just sent it. Don’t read it if it will make you blush

          • Resistor Radio

            Got it. Oh my!

          • Rick Hill

            Crude but true

          • Resistor Radio

            So, what are you drinking this evening?

          • Rick Hill

            Oh, nothing serious. Wlf’s claw, just a water spritzer with malt liquor. Mostly because it has less calories. I only want a little buzz, not a wallop. Lot’s more Rick facts available you can check out when you have more time on a less awkward medium

          • Resistor Radio

            I don’t do very well when alcohol wallops me, try to keep it to a light buzz when I do drink. Which isn’t very often, these days. I went on a little bender last week, but it’s not my norm. Anymore. When I was bartending, I drank like a fish.

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, I got it opened but it’s just landscapes, no smiles or blushes.

          • Rick Hill

            A bender? While we were talking?

          • Resistor Radio

            No, early last week

          • Rick Hill

            Hold up. Having trouble opening your last photos. Our technologies are having trouble meshing up

          • Resistor Radio

            My eyes are getting heavy…so much lag between responses I’m starting to drift off to sleep…

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, one last email….go.

          • Resistor Radio

            You sent me one last email?

          • Rick Hill

            Just this second

          • Resistor Radio

            Waiting…ugh, email is so slow!

          • Rick Hill

            Twiddle your…thumbs, while you wait….

          • Resistor Radio

            Eh, I’m just refreshing every few seconds

          • Rick Hill

            Just go to sleep then…it’ll be there. Not going anywhere

          • Resistor Radio

            Ha, you don’t know me very well.

          • Rick Hill

            Sometimes I have a hard time getting to sleep,too. just quiet, my imagination running…

          • Resistor Radio

            Not always a bad thing, but I know you have to work in the morning

          • Rick Hill

            Well, sometimes I’m up half the night. Regardless, I don’t seem to feel refreshed in the morning

            (read, read)

          • Resistor Radio

            Reading, my mind just went to a very curious place, as in, I’m very curious about you being up half the night

          • Rick Hill

            Yup

          • Rick Hill

            It’s frustrating

          • Resistor Radio

            I wish I could help

          • Rick Hill

            Perhaps….

          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            I’m laughing

          • Rick Hill

            You are 105 miles away….

          • Resistor Radio

            But what about doors and client?

          • Rick Hill

            Did I mention that I can juggle?

          • Resistor Radio

            You’re an amazing man…

          • Rick Hill

            Only occasionally

          • Rick Hill

            Of course,I would get there late (9-10ish)and be a little tired.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’d be happy to see you…we can sleep and be a little more adventurous in the morning?

          • Rick Hill

            “we can sleep and be a little more adventurous in the morning, too.”

            Fixed it for you

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s better

          • Rick Hill

            I think this would be about 90-95% I can do this. Btw, is your home dog friendly?

          • Resistor Radio

            I’ve got two indoor/outdoor cats, they may be a little territorial at first but they’ll chill out. I fostered puppies last summer and they mostly ignored them.

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, just one dawg, here. He is everyone’s friend and that includes cats. I don’t have anyone to watch him

          • Resistor Radio

            Yeah, as long as he’s friendly, he’s welcome. What kind of doggie is he?

          • Rick Hill

            Part shepherd, part….dog. He’s very friendly, unless you are a mouse.

          • Resistor Radio

            kitties have cleared all the mice from the house, they bring em in from the outside now, to bat around and then eat.

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Awwww, he’s so cute! Those ears!

          • Rick Hill

            He is a handsome boy. Practices all day long

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh yay, tomorrow’s gonna be fun!

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah. I’ll try real hard for tomorrow night. At worst, it will be earlier Saturday morning though I don’t think so.

          • Resistor Radio

            Just let me know when you know, one way or the other, okay?

          • Rick Hill

            Don’;t worry, I’ll let you know

          • Resistor Radio

            Thank you :)

            Okay, on that delightful note, I must sleep…I love how both of us were like “early night tonight” and we ended up talking even later than last night. That’s a good sign, I think.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, thoughts of my Betty kept me up….

          • Resistor Radio

            Do you prefer Henry or Hank?(your avi)

          • Rick Hill

            Just Rick. Handsome as I are,the camera hates me more than it does Monsieur Fonda

          • Resistor Radio

            Well then, I’m gonna drift off smiling about Rick tonight

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Good morning! I’m just starting to stir… how’d you sleep?

          • Rick Hill

            ‘Night

          • Rick Hill

            I’m starting to think about if I can manage tomorrow night…

          • Rick Hill

            *hold

          • Rick Hill

            *your

            Damn, other mail system has no spell check

          • Resistor Radio

            Cheap bastids.

          • Rick Hill

            Also, if you can keep it up for me(equality!) I’d like to have one more drink and then head off.

          • Resistor Radio

            Yes, I can maintain my…attention for a bit longer

          • Rick Hill

            Thanks, I can try to go long enough for you.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m sure I’ll have no complaints

          • Rick Hill

            Wow! That pic you just sent…so much pink…so beautiful. I can’t believe you shared it but….Thanks!!!

          • Resistor Radio

            My front porch faces west, during the summer every sunset was like an oil painting.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, way to ruin a psyche on anyone who may be looking in….

          • Resistor Radio

            Hey, you weren’t supposed to say publicly that I sent you a picture with so much pink, so I was hoping to make any Lookie Loos think it’s a sunset.

          • Rick Hill

            It;s ok. Just resend it….make me happy

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            She looks more aroused than confused ;)

          • Rick Hill

            She’s just drawn that way….he makes her laugh, btw

          • Resistor Radio

            Surprisingly, for many reasons, among them how her name is a nickname, I’ve never seen that movie, just scenes here and there.

          • Rick Hill

            It’s one of my favorites.

          • Resistor Radio

            Well then, some time you’ll have to show it to me. The movie, too. :P

          • Resistor Radio

            I think there’s a lag on the email?

          • Resistor Radio

            I keep bouncing back and forth refreshing both and it’s all slow. Goddamn Ajit Pai! (I know net neutrality hasn’t been rescinded yet, but from here on out I am choosing to blame that dude for any slowness while internetting)

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            Aw, such a great tune, I hadn’t heard that in many years. Best Christmas album ever made, in my opinion. Or at least, I can’t think of a better one.

          • Rick Hill

            Shit. I said shit. hold on. let me change that…Shoot!

          • Resistor Radio

            I don’t think I quite understand what you’re trying to communicate right now

          • Rick Hill

            Nothing . Just Rick. Not better, not worse. Just….Rick. If you like the show you can subscribe, if you don’t then piss off.

            (You in the general sense. not you as in Betty, you)

          • Resistor Radio

            I would say I’ve clearly chosen to subscribe to your newsletter

          • Resistor Radio

            As they used to say in the back-then, “love it or lump it” :)

          • Rick Hill

            So…not too much of an old, I see.

          • Resistor Radio

            And I’m waaaay more Betty than Veronica. I can dish out the snark, sure, but I’m really very sweet.

          • Rick Hill

            You;re a lot more than just sweet.

          • Resistor Radio

            Now I’m blushing and smiling

          • Rick Hill

            (Btw, it wasn’t really that big a deal….just being a funny guy)

          • Resistor Radio

            S’okay, I wasn’t being sniffy, I was trying to be funny too

          • Rick Hill

            Hmmmm…..needs work…..

          • Resistor Radio

            Yes……needs work….

          • Resistor Radio

            Lol, I read that wrong. Shoulda said “and they were such bitches when you asked them to surrogate the old fashioned way, huh?”

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            Ok., Betty is boopable.

          • Resistor Radio

            Boop that Betty

          • Rick Hill

            I could do that.

          • Resistor Radio

            Prove it ;)

          • Rick Hill

            Ok, Betty

          • Resistor Radio
          • Resistor Radio

            But I’m not creaky!!!

          • Rick Hill

            Are you squeeky?

          • Resistor Radio

            Perhaps…

          • Rick Hill

            Maybe more lubrication

          • Resistor Radio

            Not a problem

          • Rick Hill

            A towel then?

          • Resistor Radio

            well, not so messy, but slippery for sure

          • Rick Hill

            Sometimes redacted…sometimes not mentally agile enough to be succinct.

          • Resistor Radio

            I understand, and I run into that myself

          • Rick Hill

            (Better bring a towel, just in case. .. don’;t say I didn’t warn you)

          • Resistor Radio

            I just did laundry, I have a closetful if clean towels :)

          • Rick Hill

            Also, before I get up. You really like the classic, romantics. So, I can assume that you identify with the cute, quirky, smert girl?

          • Rick Hill

            Long past time to break my fast

          • Resistor Radio

            Long past time, holy smoke, too long

          • Rick Hill

            Never really cared much for careless love…
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guLp2SyhiFI

          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            (Melting, again)

          • Resistor Radio

            Good. That’s absolutely my intention. :)

          • Rick Hill

            I think you missed one of my comments, below your *nudge nudge* gif.

          • Resistor Radio

            Stop the world and melt with you.

          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            Hah! Better! I always did identify with Bugs

          • Resistor Radio

            I can see that ;)

          • Rick Hill

            Also, I’ve tried to say about ten more times now. How I have the sense of how unique you are. As an empathetic person(As in tasting the feelings of another, not “Oh, I understand how you feel” ) you feel very different.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’ve sensed that from you, an appreciation borne from true understanding, and it’s amazing to feel understood. I have a sense of how special you are too, not because you can make people laugh, (now I’m the one who can’t seem to communicate what I’m trying to say) more like, I don’t know, like our souls had sort of entwined, before we noticed it or realized it? Or had the ability to make sense of it? And like now our brains are trying to catch up to that? I don’t know, I can’t quite put my finger on it. This, all of this, is just so amazing. I keep using that word, I know, but I like wondrous, too. And I can’t wait to dispense with the awkward. I hope that made sense. Same as you, about a hundred things but not sounding right. Ceg, nonetheless

          • Rick Hill

            I’ll try to help you get your finger on it…

          • Resistor Radio

            I look forward to it!

          • Rick Hill

            Bet I can find it for you.

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh Saturday is gonna be so much fun!

          • Rick Hill

            If we miss the first time, we can make another shot at it…and maybe another

          • Resistor Radio

            No pressure from me! Saturday is all about exploration and sensation, yes? And as much good-touching as we want ;)

          • Resistor Radio

            This awkward medium is tough.

          • Rick Hill

            Also, the avatar, in that lighting it would look a bit like me, though I have a kinder face and not the “I’d rip off your neck in an instant” look that ole Tom has. I do have blue eyes, though

          • Resistor Radio

            Bright blue? I’m a brown-eyed girl.

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            That’s the one. :)

          • Resistor Radio

            Henry is definitely more handsome when he’s not so angry. Just watched Ox-Bow the other day, and The Lady Eve last week. Guess TCM has been on a Fonda kick.

          • Rick Hill

            I have that Jean gif you sent still up. Put your hand where your heart would be, if it were it were centered. Now, move your hand down between that and the bottom of your sternum. Right there. When I see that gif, and, right where your hand is, just feels like it melts inside.

          • Resistor Radio

            You’re making me smile sweetly, really, and also when I put my hand where you describe, it was in my cleavage. But that gif, yeah, that’s how I feel

          • Rick Hill

            “hand where you describe, it was in my cleavage”

            And I was just trying for Tokyo

          • Resistor Radio

            Saturday…

          • Rick Hill

            Hopefully it’s clear and the reception is good

          • Resistor Radio

            Alert right now

          • Rick Hill

            That does help to receive a strong signal

          • Resistor Radio

            [redacted]

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m going to delete that in a minute. I’m blushing.

          • Rick Hill

            I’m….redacted

          • Resistor Radio

            Me too

          • Rick Hill

            That’s something I could work with

          • Resistor Radio

            Can’t wait…

          • Resistor Radio

            You had mentioned seeing GD in Auburn Hills…

          • Rick Hill

            Twice

          • Resistor Radio

            Is that the Auburn around Sac? It’s beautiful out there. Gold hills and scraggly trees

          • Rick Hill

            Oh, no. This was in Michigan. I didn’t know there was one in Cali.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’ve never been to Michigan

          • Rick Hill

            You haven’t missed anything

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s what I hear…

          • Rick Hill

            Our ship did go to Sacramento, though. We went up the river and spent four days there. I liked Santa Rosa a little more but then, i didn’t leave the Sacramento town center.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’ve stomped all around Northern California, only really been South to go to Disneyland.

          • Rick Hill

            San Diego was the place to visit. a very special place. I miss the redwoods and I miss SD

          • Resistor Radio

            I’ve always wanted to go to SD, heard it’s beautiful, but haven’t yet made it that far south. That’s a warm place we can visit when you have a few days!

          • Rick Hill

            Perhaps….

          • Resistor Radio

            Quizas, quizas, quizas…

          • Rick Hill

            That Jean Arthur gif was amazing. Of course, I put her face to your words but talk about being able to melt steel with a gaze.

          • Resistor Radio

            That gif said everything I’m feeling

          • Rick Hill

            Hopes that I could see you today

          • Resistor Radio

            See, when you word it like that, it translates to me like you’re on your way and could knock at any moment. Confusing! (To me, the way my brain works, anyway)

          • Rick Hill

            I don’t think linearly, also. Sometimes I’m thinking ahead too much and then that gets pretty fully developed and then I try to get back into the moment but the moment is not the same as it was and I’m making plans for what I’m doing…..

          • Resistor Radio

            All of this particular conversation is due to uncertainty on my part, certain fears that will be laid to rest, for good, once we are face to face.

          • Rick Hill

            “My apologies…”
            Gawd I sound pretty durn formal

          • Resistor Radio

            You do, don’t you? It’s okay, the sincerity was still communicated.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, the awkward. In person I would go for a sheepish look combined with a half smile and a bit of charm that would say “Sorry ’bout that….”
            The personal touch.

          • Resistor Radio

            And in person, I wouldn’t have had such a confuse in the first place!

          • Resistor Radio

            And that sheepish half-smile would make me smile and want to do adult things to you that you’d probably enjoy ;)

          • Resistor Radio

            I put on fresh sheets today, even

          • Resistor Radio

            Don’t tease me like this. It’s mean.

          • Rick Hill

            I’m serious. In January I could do some work.

          • Resistor Radio

            January?

          • Rick Hill

            The client I am hoping for is dragging their feet. I already travel 60 miles or more. If I didn’t have to return I could put some time in on your project

          • Resistor Radio

            You could stay here

          • Rick Hill

            I thought I could. You proly have a corner in the basement or by the stove I could bunk in

          • Resistor Radio

            No basemen, but if you would prefer, I have a cold shop, you might be comfortable there. I mean, it’s not MY choice, but if that’s where you want to sleep…

          • Rick Hill

            Well, as long as I can freeze my ….. off, I’ll be fine

          • Resistor Radio

            I thought…

          • Rick Hill

            *Not catching my breath as in out of breath but from “just getting back and driving an hour up from Cinci” catching my breath

          • Resistor Radio
          • Rick Hill

            I’m stuck all week just working and, I can take off the weekend but I shouldn’t'(that hasn’t stopped me from avoiding work, though)

          • Resistor Radio

            Would it mess you up to take the weekend off?

          • Rick Hill

            proly not

          • Rick Hill

            (Me, being librul, too)

          • Resistor Radio

            Dirty libruls are the best! (And my nail polish color is Dirty Unicorn, fwiw)

          • Rick Hill

            …and now googles is going to put that into my search algorythm.

          • Resistor Radio

            Does it help to misspell?

          • Resistor Radio

            Wait, I should rephrase that…I AM thinking about you, but not in reference to pondering Frye

          • Rick Hill

            You tickle my funny bone….metaphorically speaking

          • Resistor Radio

            Take the “funny” out of that sentence and think about that :)

          • Resistor Radio

            Also OT – this comic in my email cracked me up today. The creator would fit in over here. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/45866e3fc7abeb2809a03a7a2001c83b6f9e91506cfdbe8953a42ccb1e671352.jpg

          • Rick Hill

            Hehee

    • anon_the_great

      I can

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’d like to hear what Sassy has to say about that.

  • Zonath
    • SDGeoff3

      Nice tie.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Are they offering lemonade?

  • Bill D. Burger

    The first word that comes to mind when describing Trump, by number of responses:
    Idiot
    Liar
    Incompetent
    Leader
    Strong
    Asshole
    Great
    Moron
    Arrogant
    Disgusting
    Unqualified
    Crazy
    Bold
    Buffoon
    Dangerous

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DQ4XUy_VAAEn92S.jpg

    https://poll.qu.edu/search-releases/search-results/release-detail?What=&strArea=;&strTime=28&ReleaseID=2507#Question003

    • Resistor Radio

      I was hoping he first letters of each would spell something out. Oh well, can’t have everything!

      • SDGeoff3

        Combine them as you will. We’ll wait…

        • Resistor Radio

          i totally cheated, but:
          Biblical Smug Dad
          Cabal Bugs Mild Id

          Winner:
          I’d Cum Big Ballads

          • SDGeoff3

            Yup. That’s the winner alright. Big ballads, ohhh baby!

        • Resistor Radio

          Gals blab, did I cum?

          (Oh good lord I’m gonna be fucking around with this anagram generator all night)

    • That poll is biased. It was only filled out by people who can read.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Damn. Fuckface didn’t make the list despite the valiant and admirable efforts of a certain Wonkette gentleman?!

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Idiot
      Liar
      Incompetent leader
      Strong asshole
      Great moron
      Arrogant Disgusting Unqualified Crazy Bold Buffoon
      Dangerous

      You read it your way, I’ll read it mine. ; )

    • Beautiful Soup

      Where is “Filth, steaming pile of”?

  • SomeBigRedDog

    I dunno much about horses but that don’t look right.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      He’s an awful rifer. Balancing on the poor horse’s mouth. He cannot ride.

  • CripesAmighty

    Are we having fun yet? To quell the roiling waves of bile and rage, I have been reminding myself that other parts of the world are not a fetid, festering open sewer by binge watching clever people in a civilized country doing entertaining things. So, to offer an interregnum in the perpetual shitshow, a couple of tidbits to share:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=de4n41WWXuI
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0-q4ADZ1i0

  • BlueDawg

    Roy Moore’s horse is a Jew. So take that, mainstream media!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        “You know what a wrench is? It’s where Jewish cowboys live.” – Ed Feldman

        • gallbladder

          (tips server, orders veal)

        • Bill D. Burger

          ~snort~

        • WIDTAP

          “I was on a bus and I started talking to this blond Chinese girl and she said, ‘Hello,’ and I said, ‘Hello, isn’t it an amazing day?’ And she said, ‘Yes, I guess.’ And I said, ‘What do you mean, “I guess”?’ And she said, ‘Well, things haven’t been going too well for me lately.’ I said, ‘Why?’ She said, ‘I can’t tell you. I don’t even know you.’ And I said, ‘Yeah, but sometimes it’s good to tell your problems to a total stranger on a bus.’ And she said, ‘Well, I’ve just come back from my analyst and he’s still unable to help me.’ And I said, ‘What’s the problem?’ And she said, ‘I’m a nymphomaniac, and I only get turned on by Jewish cowboys.’ Then she said, ‘By the way, my name is Diane.’ And I said, ‘Hello, Diane, I’m Bucky Goldstein.’”

          –Steven Wright

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        “And for the record, there were a few Jewish cowboys. Big guys, who were great shots, and spent money freely.”

  • Major^3 Andre
  • Marion in Savannah

    I’m sure I’m not the first one to ask, but has that fat fuck EVER been on a horse before? I’ve seen buttholes sawing at a horse’s mouth before, but REALLY…

    • anon_the_great

      Yes he has.
      He’s just bad at it.

      Like all Rethugicans
      At everything

      Ever.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        That’s not fair. Have YOU ever gotten banned from a mall?

  • jaspersdad

    ‘This is a hold up, not a botany lesson.’

    https://youtu.be/Sk3nI7TRAU4

    • Anne Of Green Bagels

      although it was all about lupines.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Not willows, at any rate!…

        • Tishalicious

          The larch?

    • RMKH

      Blimey, this redistribution of wealth is trickier than I thought

  • hendenburg2

    What kind of a horse’s name is “Sassy”?!

    Everyone knows that true horse names are equally parts Posh, Confusing, and “That’s not a goddamned name, you idiot!” It also must be more than 3 words long

    • jesterpunk

      Wouldn’t “Banned Mall Pedophile” be a better more accurate name for his horse?

      • hendenburg2

        Hey, leave the horse out of this!

    • BlueDawg

      Roy’s Mister Sassy Pants 🐴

    • anon_the_great

      So how do the Sparkle Ponies figure into this? I thought Dok had the week off.

    • shivaskeeper

      Mrs Keeper has a horse named Memphis Belle after the B-17.

      • hendenburg2

        That’s a good B-17 name! The nose art was a bit lacking, though.

        • shivaskeeper

          It was the first one to officially complete 25 combat missions without being shot down.

      • Rick Hill

        Did you tattoo a pin up girl on her?

        • shivaskeeper

          Do I seem like the kind of person who wants to be stomped into the mud by a horse?

          • Rick Hill

            So, you’re not authentic. Well, the world always has room for another poseur

          • shivaskeeper

            I’ll own up to that one.

    • Rick Hill

      I stole a dog named Sassy. Once.

    • BMW

      I miss Rafalca.

  • Donna Mueller

    WOW-that horse HATES HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Animals can sense the presence of evil.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      probably cause he’s abusing her by yanking on her mouth.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Horses are smart!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        She’s only fourteen!….

        • Jonny On Maui

          I’m hoping you mean ‘hands high’…

    • Bill D. Burger

      Sometimes, you just have to take things into your own hands….or hooves.

      http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F1LACyDxqvo/UdZWqZBEXAI/AAAAAAAARDA/Ig6SkCHcjEE/s254/Branding_horse_kicked.gif

      • Bananas Foster

        Do people still brand horses?

        Can’t you fucking chip them?

        • Bill D. Burger

          We have 4 Rocky Mt. horses and opted not to brand or chip them. We have neighbors who have used the ‘freeze brand’ method. Our vet said it’s permanent, visible year round and virtually painless. Still, we just had little reason to brand.

          • shivaskeeper

            If you have to brand, freeze branding is the way to go.

        • shivaskeeper

          Freeze branding is standard for BLM mustangs that get sold. A chip can be dug out, but unless you cut off a massive amount of skin. the brand cannot be.

          • Bananas Foster

            I guess that makes sense.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I watched “Imagine” last night, a documentary on John Lennon. The Beatles were playing a concert in Memphis in 1965, and a local TV station interviewed a Klan member who was there to protest. He sounded just like the folks from the Luntz focus group on CNN a few nights ago.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    The first politician to ride a motorcycle chariot to the polls will win!

    Yrs I am still obsessed!

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I miss Sassy magazine.

    • Resistor Radio

      Me too!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    He yanks that bit one more fucking time and Roy’ll be trump’s man on the moon. Y’all.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Seriously, he’s hurting that horse.

    • CripesAmighty

      How’s he supposed to know? His ’83 Eldorado doesn’t kick when he yanks the wheel…

  • shivaskeeper

    I stand by my earlier assessment of his riding skills. I did not get into his form with that one, but his form sucks. FFS, I have three cracked vertebra that did not heal right and I have better upper body from than that. His legs are out of position and his entire center of balance is off.

    I cannot tell if he was neck reigning to start and went to two hands in a panic or what they hell he was doing. But he was yarding on that horses mouth.

    I do know he lost control of the horse and failed to get it back. That was not riding off into the sunset as much as it was panic into the sunset. Overall piss poor horsemanship.

    One thing I will say is the horse did not look like it was going to buck. They usually hump their back up first as a warning, and I did not see that. He was lucky he did not fall off from being off balance though.

    I still score him in the negative territory on a scale of 1-10.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I’ve only ridden twice. With my best Dunning Krueger opinion, my skills are superior.

      They are also superior in a motorcycle chariot. God I want one.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Are you hoping to get one for Christmas?

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          I pray to Santa that if he brings one I will never covet my neighbor’s goat again!

          Santa hear my prayer!

        • shivaskeeper

          No. I for one am not.

    • Tishalicious

      How badly can you mess up a horse with clumsy bit work?

      • shivaskeeper

        It really depends on the bit. You can cut the mouth and tongue up pretty badly. You can get dumped on your head even if you don’t cut them just from frustration.

        It is also possible if you pull wrong you can cause the horse to rear up, and not just rear, but come over backwards and land on you. You can also cause them to get pissed off and slam their head backwards into your face. Among other things that can happen when you hurt/piss off a 1500lb animal.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Roy’s horsemanship skills are about the same as his judgemanship skills.

      Abysmal.

  • BlueDawg

    Suggestions, y’all— what term or word should we drink on? “Credibly accused?” Thoughts.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “Disgusting pervert Roy Moore, Alabama’s newest senator?”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      As I’ve been drinking steadily for 13 months now, we’re going to need a safe word for stopping, instead.

  • jaspersdad

    Friend of mine had his face crushed from kick by a horse when we were kids. Not saying I’d wish this on anybody ……but….

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4ae45cee2c8ca7b3412625d992d327e1b2353246cb9aaa0b855149f2f4b77225.gif

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      That horse realized she couldn’t hold that dude.

    • Travalanche

      The horse was shod with votes?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Moore knew what he was saddling up for.

    • natoslug

      It’s no joking matter — I lost a wife to a horse. Okay, not so much to the horse as to the cost of upkeep, and me being immature and dumb enough to say “it’s me or the horse.”

      • jaspersdad

        Between my ex and the pets I miss the pets more. Horses really are just large pets after all.

    • Begin Anew Day

      O-U-C-H.

      Now the snowflake RWNJs will blame the horse and will want to have it euthanized because…of course…the horse oppressed a white male by refusing to submit to his ponderous lack of skill as well as his titanic bulk.

    • Perkniticky

      My friend has a race horse. I stay well away from its legs. I think it pays to have a healthy caution around large skittish animals. Cows too. I’ve heard enough stories about fatal tramplings to keep a sharp eye on them.

      • jaspersdad

        Another friend had his orbital bone broken from a kick from a calf during branding. Yes, I grew up in a small farming community.

        • Perkniticky

          I did not grow up in a small farming community, and I still know to respect the big animals that can kill you with a kick. Though maybe I picked that up as a kid, spending time with family in small farming communities (I had a phobia of sheep as a child. Now I’m taller than them, they don’t worry me).

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      “Could be worse. … Coulda use ta been smart.”
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAAiSHSPk_w

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I’m not sure which is gayer – Roy Moore’s gay horse, or his gay lawyer, Trent Garman.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Why not both? Wait, what?

  • Rick Hill
  • ChumpsForTrump

    I do love how he shows up on a horse.. bumpkin signaling? He must think his base is as dumb as we do! lol

    • Bananas Foster

      Horse ownership is expensive. I don’t think it speaks to his base.

      • Perkniticky

        Yeah, I’m sure lots of Alabamans like to imagine they are cowboys, and never get on a horse even once in their lives. Despite popular sentiment, horses are not for the common people.

  • hudson

    just sent down a no can do to a boss who wants arbit stuff by morning tomorrow. about 2 minutes ago he asking me for slides that he wants by 9am tomorrow. no can do. i’ve not slept in days as is, meeting team goals, delayed due to arbit upper management requests. i’m, like, get a hold of reality, arbit unplanned requests on your part is not a reason to kill myself.

    • Christopher Story

      Sleep is your friend, and obviously misses you very much. I hope you find each other and are very happy together.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Was the subject matter of the email “Arbit macht frei”?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I used to have a sign on the wall of my sad, depressing cube, when I was the AP supervisor at a manufacturing company, “Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.” (Asshole.)

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Did the horse get to vote? Probably not, cause it’s a brown horse.

    • BlueDawg

      Horse turnout goes down considerably when there is not another horse candidate in the race.

  • Nounverb911
    • gallbladder

      Troll level: Adroit.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      He’s yanking way too hard on that horse’s mouth. I mean, it’s not like the horse is a 14 year old girl, Roy!

    • RMKH

      Plus he’s yanking on her mouth most egregiously

    • Elendira

      say what you will about North Korea; There propaganda department has been pretty on point the last couple of months.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Someone call the humane society.

    • boyblue122

      I love this twitter account. Apparently they also fooled the NYTimes into thinking they had some affiliation with NK

    • Begin Anew Day

      They left out “dotard”.

  • diane surette

    As he bounces off into the sunset…..

  • BMW

    I’m happy to report I made it through this entire fucking news cycle without hearing that goddamn Lynyrd Skynyrd song once. You know the one I mean.

    • gallbladder

      You mean THIS one?:

      Naw, I wouldn’t do that to ya.

    • Zonath

      “What’s your name”?

    • mackafritz

      Boo. You had to bring that up.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      “Freebird?” ; )

      (And NO, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT ONE EITHER.)

    • 3FingerPete

      This one is better and more trenchant.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD3bGEFxGC0

    • RMKH

      Won’t you give me three steps

    • tehbaddr

      Freehorse! Wait wut?

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Just go with the last verse to “Saturday Night Special.”

      Handguns are made for killin’
      Ain’t no good for nothin’ else
      And if you like your whiskey
      You might even shoot yourself
      So why don’t we dump ’em people
      To the bottom of the sea
      Before some fool come around here
      Wanna shoot either you or me

    • WIDTAP

      Sorry, that was me. Burritos for lunch.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4j7ggZqbiU

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      ‘Sassy the Horse’? Deep track.

    • yyyaz

      My personal spaces have been Skynyrd-free zones for 30 years, tyvm.

  • Chyron HR

    And I looked, and behold a sassy horse.
    And his name that sat on him was derp, and hell followed with him.

  • tehbaddr

    Wow! Disgust was really violating my chromebook, and not in a good way! Had to reboot! Also, too!

    • OutOfOrbit

      Same here

  • Rick Hill
    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      The version taped to the Beer Fridge in our garage does not mince words.

      …… pretty stupid shit ….

  • Nounverb911
  • harryr

    At least he managed to put his hat on the right way round this time.

  • canes_pugnaces
  • An Outhouse for the résistance
  • chascates

    http://www.wnd.com/the-trump-card-campaign/

    “The Trump family’s first Christmas card contains a word that was noticeably absent from all eight of Obama’s Christmas cards: CHRISTMAS!” he wrote.

    The Trump family’s first Christmas card contains a
    word that was noticeably absent from all eight of Obama’s Christmas
    cards: CHRISTMAS! pic.twitter.com/gg4y1KYHFK
    — Joe Walsh (@WalshFreedom) November 29, 2017

    Now Americans can respond to the president with a card of their own, through the Thank Trump Card Campaign at ThankTrump.us.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/58ca85f65a7ac0f8f70e742e0d43b00108232b31903a5aea5682a6b4d19ed409.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f1fd2712513bbe6fe787ea21b64ff1eda7caac5cea5a8051cdde11e12734f45f.jpg

    • Daniel

      This is creepy as fuck.

      • chascates

        They do end up with your email address.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Because no amount of flattery is ever enough for this pompous bag of flatulence.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m not impressed. Aren’t there some other cards we could send him?….

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        Send his draft card back to him.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          You mean his punch card good for one free game of dodging land mines at Studio 54?

      • chascates

        I think an indictment would do fine.

    • amrak63

      The “customers” of these e-cards are the kind of people that Hitler, Mussolini, or Stalin loved to have as followers.

    • gallbladder

      “Thank You for Your Service?!?”

      GET. THE FUCK. OUTTA HERE.

    • Zonath

      I foresee a massive effort to hijack this, given that you can add your own comment to the card.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        This plan is what throwaway email addresses are for.

    • CripesAmighty

      Where are the “Garbage Pail Kids” choices?

    • LeftyProud

      I seriously think Trump won because these idiots really thought there was a war on Christmas. Right after the election all I heard from the Trumpers was “and I can’t even say Merry Christmas anymore!!” That