SHARE
yes it’s time to do this again

Tuesday morning, after Donald Trump tweeted that New York Democratic Senator Kirsten Gillibrand is a big whore who will do ANYTHING for campaign contributions, every woman on “Morning Joe” and every person in the Wonkette secret chatcave wondered how the hell press secretary Sarah Huckabee “Poot Lips” Sanders is going to spin this one. Mika Brzezinski went as far as to say if Sanders can’t bring herself to condemn this, she needs to just resign and go somewhere to do some hard thinkin’ about when exactly she sold her soul to the bowels of hell. (Not Mika’s exact words.)

We’re not expecting much, of course, from today’s press briefing. Based on Sanders’s behavior in Monday’s briefing, and based on the absolute bullshit she gave reporters as “proof” Donald Trump’s accusers are lying, we wouldn’t be surprised if she says that what Americans REALLY are concerned about is appointing a special counsel to find out why Kirsten Gillibrand is such a slut in the first place.

Yeah, we’re pretty sure that’s how far gone Sanders is. But we’ll see! Maybe she will redeem herself! MAYBE!

(Nah.)

(BUT MAYBE!)

Let’s liveblog and find out:

3:06: We know we are mean to SHS sometimes (because of her actions), but we would actually love it if she took a step to redeem herself today. We would even cheer for her! But we really don’t think that is about to happen.

3:08: Oh great, she is here!

And just as quickly, she is now gone, because “someone else” is going to talk to us first. It’s about the attempted terror incident in New York City that happened yesterday, so we guess that’s fine. Of course, he’s probably going to just say a bunch of racist shit about immigrants.

3:18: OK, the guy is done with his briefing, and now reporters are asking him questions. COME BACK, SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS, WE WANNA SEE HOW YOU FUCK THIS UP.

3:25: How you all holding up? Is the waiting for SHS making you CRAZY? We are fine over here, thank you for asking.

3:27: Last question for “someone else”! Your favorite Captain Poot Lips will be back in a minute!

3:28: Here she is finally. FINALLY. Brief statement about some crap, blah blah blah, why does this White House think we care about what they’re failing at at any given moment?

3:29: Question one is about Kirsten Gillibrand. Was Trump saying Kirsten Gillibrand is a whore?

ANSWER: Trump has said this “many times before” and “exposed the corruption of the political system,” blah blah blah “drain the swamp,” etc. more words. In other words, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is not going to answer your question except to say Trump thinks ALL politicians are whores. (But especially the ladies.)

3:31: So there you go, SHS has defended Trump on charges of calling Kirsten Gillibrand a whore. We told you not to expect much.

3:33: Seriously, how does she sleep at night?

3:35: SHS says this White House is VERY CONCERNED about Americans getting accurate information, LOLOLOLOL OK, let’s just end this press briefing now so we can go back to focusing on Alabama.

3:37: Question from NBC’s Kristin Welker! How can Donald Trump NOT KNOW all the ladies he grabbed by the pussy, when they have PICTURES TOGETHER?

Answer: Some more deflecting horseshit. Also, stating for the record once again, Sarah Huckabee Sanders would like to reassert that Bitches Be Lyin’.

3:38: Question from April Ryan: Should Donald Trump apologize for calling Kirsten Gillibrand a whore?

ANSWER: “Only if your mind is in the gutter,” would you think Donald Trump, purer than the fresh-fallen snow, was saying a dirty-dirty like that.

FACTCHECK: Sarah, you are full of shit.

3:39: Sanders name-dropped Hillary Clinton for no reason. DRIIIIIIIINK!

Yep, she's worried. Look at the fear in her eyes.

3:40: And now SHS is reading out a memorized laundry list of reasons why Kirsten Gillibrand is a big whore, of the political kind.

3:42: Question: Why did Trump go after Gillibrand in such a personal way?

ANSWER: No personal! No personal! Kirsten Gillibrand is the personal!

This is so fucking stupid.

3:44: And finally a question about Russia, which SHS says the Trump administration has been “very hard on.” Remember what she said above about how this White House is VERY CONCERNED about making sure Americans get accurate information? Uh huh.

And now it is over!

In summary and in conclusion, Donald Trump called Kirsten Gillibrand a whore on Twitter, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders says you are a dirty strumpet with your mind in the gutter for acknowledging that fact.

The fuck she says.

3:45: Thank you for reading our liveblog, which we created with love! Click the links below to tip your bartenders!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Are you a good Wonker who sends us money by Amazon? Well not anymore you’re not, because Amazon done fucked our payment system. Would you be so great as to re-sign with Paypal or Stripe? K we love you bye. (All you others can too.)

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Yellerduck

    So far, so good.

    • Dr. Jo

      How? They unplugged her microphone?

      • Yellerduck

        She wasn’t there. She just walked in and now it’s all downhill.

    • GoutMachine

      She’s ambulatory?

  • Michael Smith

    “You liars in the media made him say it! You drove him to this!!”

  • GoutMachine

    How much you wanna bet they call in the designated hitter for this briefing?

  • Anna Rompage

    The look on her face yesterday was one like she had just found out that the buybull was written by a couple of ancient con artists, that were on par with John Smith…

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    The old f ck your family argument.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Sarah went trans overnight?

    • Yellerduck

      And apparently became sentient.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Family Values turn down for what?

    • ArgieBargie

      I got free tickets to the Family Values Tour once, which featured Korn and Limp Bizkit.

      I burned those fuckers.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Or the committee he chairs could just do their fucking job and say Oh, Hell No.

    • Daniel

      This will make him pause for at least a couple of minutes before approving them then.

      • Blackest Noobs

        exactly, and fucking die already Chuckie!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Here’s an idea: vote them down. With votes.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m beginning to think Death Panels are not such a bad idea…

    • coozledad

      Must need NPR to suck his crank again.

    • TakingAmes

      Urges him to reconsider, but will reliably vote in his favor when the time comes.

  • armed_bears

    Rick Moranis is in the Trump Administration?

  • Tragic Typos

    Like 80% of Trump voters would be ineligible for the visa lottery.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    “skills”

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Dude’s suit jacket is distracting.

    And his words are putting me back to sleep.

    What I hear is we need to build a wall around the entire country.

  • Tragic Typos

    Is this a Faberge Shampoo ad now?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brC_jK6stBs

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Are we all supposed to die of boredom before she takes the podium? That would certainly solve the problem.

  • cmd resistor

    OT,but Grassley actually suggested that Trump reconsider 2 judicial nominations and not proceed. http://thehill.com/homenews/senate/364504-grassley-tells-trump-not-to-proceed-on-two-judicial-nominations
    Oops, sorry, had not read this whole thread.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      They could also, ya know, not vote them out of committee.

      • cmd resistor

        So one of them has been voted out of committee but not clear if McConnell will schedule a full Senate vote. The other one hasn’t been voted out of committee. Must be pretty bad they can’t make it past the GOP Rubber Stamp.

  • The Wanderer

    She looks quite a bit like Nicola Murray from The Thick of It:

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/czkZftvCibM/maxresdefault.jpg

    • Daniel

      Never insult Rebecca Front like that.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Fuck your family Values party.

    • BaconzHRTbrokezn

      We love pedophile rapists but not abortion.

      • chazmanr

        Hey, she was asking for it. She was wearing a short school uniform skirt.
        /s

        • BaconzHRTbrokezn

          She was being a flirt with her braces and acne.

  • Victoria Ricola

    This guy sucks. Bring on Poot Lips.

    • Yellerduck

      He’s very relaxing. He’s putting me to sleep. Very subtle and soothing in delivering his evil.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I can’t watch where I am (and if I’m wrong about that, I don’t want to know), so I’m just going to assume this is how it plays out
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c21617614f153c9ec8fbe4a409e70f59c026f0453aa03de359d55c48ef53bfaa.jpg

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time
  • BaconzHRTbrokezn

    I miss Scott McLendin. Sure he lied but he looked like a huge teddy bear.

  • proudgrampa

    WE WANT LIPS! WE WANT LIPS!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Just getting rid of diversity…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    The Morticia Addams look is working for her.

    • The Wanderer

      She looks like she’s attending a funeral? Or she’s playing the part of the corpse?

  • bbayliss

    Chicken.

  • Victoria Ricola

    “Do you have data on that?”

    …………….

    • proudgrampa

      Classic!

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        So you’re saying there’s a chance

        • proudgrampa

          “I don’t want to engage in that dialog right now.”

          Jeez – you brought it up!!!

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Let me explain to you how discrimination works.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    You will be assimilated!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    The part of me that likes politics no longer can endure the part of me that would watch Sarah Sanders hucklechuck her way through the minefield of lies, stepping on this one and that one with apparent impunity…

  • Daniel

    Is she flirting with amishness today?

    • kilgoretrout

      Amishness is not something you flirt with.

      • Blackest Noobs

        because Amishness flirts with you, not the other way around

        • Daniel

          Witness, me?

          • Blackest Noobs

            are you a Harrison Ford type, if so, you’re in luck.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Amishicissitude?

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      She’s certainly buggy.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Ah, we’ve set our clocks to around 1890?

    • gallbladder

      Locutus!

  • Tragic Typos

    That’s a debate I would lose, so we don’t have time for it.

  • coozledad

    All of the Republicans put me in mind of a host called up from the dead who gave Trump his fucked up views about sex. They dug themselves out of their graves dribbling chaw and screaming about race mixing. I wouldn’t be shocked if Sarah spat up a big dark trail of formalin soaked innards down her shirt right in the middle of this bullshit.

    A party formed entirely from draining stinkass corpseflesh.

    • bbayliss

      The rotting corpse of Roy Cohen returns

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      DUDE! Draining Stinkass Corpseflesh is my favorite death metal band!

      • coozledad

        Crypt Orchids is mine.

  • Tragic Typos

    He’s starting to get the look on his face of a white guy about to lose an argument to someone who does not have the authority of being a white guy.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Rest assured. She won’t redeem herself. She already threatened Robert Acosta’s pool status if he asked Dotard about slut shaming during tiny hands signing thing earlier.

  • Blackest Noobs

    bands have sucked up less time when snorting their cokes and drinking their whiskeys before coming back to do the encore.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Whiskey in their water, sugar in their tea. “What’s all these crazy questions they’re asking me?” — Poot Lips

      • Yellerduck

        Very relevant, right down through the next two lines:
        “This is the craziest party (administration) that could ever be!
        Don’t turn on the lights, I don’t wanna see.”

        edit for spelling.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          “Mother told me not to come!” — M. Pence

          • Alienist

            That ain’t the way that it’s done…….Son!

  • Jgb979

    I do absolutely adore how you google the phrase “poot lips” and you get madame huckleberry.

    This can be your Santorum moment

    • chazmanr

      Except that Dan Savage paid for the Santorum results. Me thinks our Editrix wouldn’t waste valuable Wonkette dollars getting something entered into Google’s search results.

      • Jgb979

        If they want to set up a separate poot lips paypal; I’m down for donating.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I suspect our shit-for-brains guests from last week gave us an assist on this one.
        What I wanna see is when you google ole Missy Chucklefuck up there, the top result is Poot Lips. Then we’ll really be on to something!

      • armed_bears

        Re: Savage… True? IDNKT…

    • ArgieBargie

      At least Santorum didn’t get the chance to stain the White House.

    • armed_bears

      On Wonkette!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Relax. He doesn’t know anything, he just wants to discriminate.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    When someone asks if Trump was calling her a hooer, she’ll basically say the questioner has a dirty mind and of course Trump meant she would trade votes, twist arms, etc. And how DARE you suggest otherwise you filthy fake news dog!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Female reporter is trying to hold this fuckweasel to explain himself about radicalization. She deserves a medal. He deserves a wall.

    • armed_bears

      of votes.

    • proudgrampa

      “He deserves a wall.”

      To be pushed off of. With votes, of course.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Of voodoo. So that he receives only Mexican (whoa-oh) Radio.

  • chiefkurtz

    He just admitted visa lottery winners are vetted. What’s all this bullshit prior?

    • OutOfOrbit

      Deflection

    • cmd resistor

      Have to be able to blame this guy (and I think there was one other visa lottery winner who did a terror but wasn’t from a terror country) and use it as an excuse to keep people out.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    hah — first question!

  • armed_bears

    Question for SHS: Are we wearing back because truth is dead?

  • Jmom

    Do you think she is wearing black because she’s mourning the loss of her soul?

    • gallbladder

      She had a soul?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Nah, she thinks it’s “slimming”. And then the simple string of pearls.

  • Victoria Ricola

    *insert buzzwords and catchphrase wordsalad here*

  • Beautiful Soup

    He is very obvious! Not in the way you think, sarah.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    She’s squirming!

  • Katey Brannum

    I try not to do hostile commenting, hate tweeting or any associating with Wonkette with my real name, but drastic times call for drastic measures. SHB is simply vile.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    What did the president mean about doing anything for him?

    ‘He always says this so it’s ok.’

  • gallbladder

    “Can’t be bought?!?”
    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

  • Yellerduck

    He calls everyone whores!

  • Tragic Typos

    Can’t be bought because he’s already owned.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Could be rented though.

      • Christopher Story

        Oligarchs are weird

    • Jmom

      Yes!

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    No way that this is sexist…hahahahahahahahahahaha

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      He does not discriminate about who sucks him off.

  • lucidamente
    • BaconzHRTbrokezn

      “I have evidence it didn’t happen”

      I always wondered how you can “prove” something didn’t happen?

      • Tetman Callis

        The “negative corpus” argument. The fact that there’s no proof proves anything you want it to prove.

        • Red Bird

          There’s no proof he and Pence aren’t lovers.

          • TakingAmes

            It would be irresponsible not to speculate!

    • ArgieBargie

      It’s like the opposite of “TITS or GTFO.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    this president is someone who can’t be bought

    No, but he can pimp out the White House for personal profit, so what’s your point, Sarah?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Kinda sounds exactly like someone who CAN be bought, doesn’t it?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that just means he’s no longer for sale, since Putin bought him lock, stock and barrel

    • tihond

      “he can… however… be bartered for.”

      • NationalGalleryofClipArt

        El RastroJefe es un mercado al aire libre.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Sarah, debt gets bought all the time.

    • Daniel

      “this president is someone who can’t be bought”

      Remember how he said he’d label Chi Na a currency manipulator and impose strict tariffs on them, then they gave him a load of trademarks (including for massage parlours) and suddenly he said he wasn’t going to do those things?

      • jowgajen

        Because he’s already sold, duh.

      • eastcoastlib

        Somewhere, high in a Kremlin office, Putin smiles.

        • Lord Jim

          Putin is proud of his junior grifter, just as Yeltsin trained Putin.

          • eastcoastlib

            I wonder when Putin will grow tired of this Orange baffoon and, like everyone who Putin tires of, he has an unfortunate accident. It would be irresponsible not to speculate

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, so POTUS’ tweet wasn’t sexist because he says that about men too, but we’re sexist for calling you an asshole even though we call men that too. I guess it makes sense in Wingnutland FFS.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      And yet of the four Senators who spoke, the only one who gets attacked by Donnie is the woman. So you’re not working with good facts here, Sarah.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Facts? What are facts? How do they work?

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        a lightweight woman dammit!!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Totes not sexist to call her a lightweight

      • spangled

        i mean, i guess it’s better than calling her fat

        (he’ll do that next week)

  • BigCSouthside

    He can be bought. Until proven otherwise I think he is completely illiquid. I don’t think he’d personally qualify for a subprime car loan

    • Lord Jim

      Why do you think he’s scared shitless of producing his tax returns? I mean, other than that he’s leveraged to the scalp in Ru$$ian money.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    So TRMP is courting the Senate to support his agenda, huh? The Senate is corrupt?

  • BMW
  • Tragic Typos

    “He’s even said that about Ivanka so clearly it wasn’t sexually suggestive.”

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      She doesn’t even recognize the irony, does she?

      • gallbladder

        It’s dead, hence the black outfit.

      • Boscoe

        They never do, I’m convinced they are genetically immune to recognizing irony.

    • Daniel

      …what?

      • Tragic Typos

        That was a fake quote. She didn’t really say that.

  • spangled

    4 politician men asked for his resignation too, didn’t call them whores.

    has spared with jeff flake and mitch mcconnell, didn’t call them whores

    weird coincidence that he only called the chick a whore, sarah!

  • Ellie

    Even Wonkette cannot make me listen to that Lying Sack of Crap. But, I did appreciate the commentary. And it’s interesting that she appears to imply that Donnie Dinky Digits has called Gillibrand, “whore” in the past.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    FAKE NEWS!!!

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    Correction, Mika. Sarah ‘Poot Lips’ Slanders should resign from being a woman and a human.

    • ibwilliamsi

      I’m pretty sure that she’s neither of those. Gorgon, maybe. But as a human woman I take umbrage at her being included in any category I belong to.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    What does the real VPOTUS have to say?

    https://twitter.com/timkaine/status/940658406624497664

  • Mr. Blobfish

    She can kiss my gelatinous, pink ass.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I never really had cause to contemplate this before, but the fact that a blobfish has an ass is a revelation.

      • elviouslyqueer

        I wouldn’t want her scaly, reptilian lips anywhere near my ass. But YMMV, darling.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Edna

      Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
      On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      fb481d:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleInternetPartyCommunityWorkFromHome/make/more ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fb481lhhhhh

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Thanks, spammer, but somehow I think I’ll find the strength to carry on if I pass on this scam.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Impeach the motherfucker already and send everybody who’s associated with him directly to MOTHERFUCKING JAIL.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    She’s getting petulant — whaaaaaaaaa the press never talks about the issue — uh, cause your boss does not talk about the issues

  • 3FingerPete

    WTF, Sarah. What news are you reading?

  • proudgrampa

    “3:33: Seriously, how does she sleep at night?”

    If she has any humanity, I just don’t see how she does…

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Ambien. The resulting nightmares are actually preferable to her reality.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    THE AMERICAN PEOPLE VOTED FOR HER YOU DIM BULB

  • WotsAllThisThen

    How come you media never talk about health care and tax cuts?

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    Captain Poot Lips looks and sounds flustered today. good.

  • Katey Brannum

    SRB knows what the American people want to know about; polls be damned.

    • Lord Jim

      She DOES know what the American People want – for certain values of “American”. And “people”.

  • gallbladder

    So, the press should focus on “How to pass tax reform that actually affects them.” for the benefit of the American people, eh?

    Oh believe me, Poot Lips, the American people are well fucking aware of that.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Actually, Sarah, the American people want to see the Russian interference and conspiracy.

    And about negative news coverage?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68c1688c72ffb8e60c101730e86ebd36e8c77920b00c5c45dfe5a0842ce9e8ea.jpg

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      The American people did NOT elect that orange shit stain. The system did.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Man, Trump hasn’t gotten around to Googling ISIS…

  • Tragic Typos

    ‘Mericans voted that Trump didn’t pussy-grab those ladies.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Bingo — mind is in the gutter! lol .. it was called here by my comrades

  • lucidamente
  • Katey Brannum

    If only we could elevate our minds out of the gutter and be more like our high-minded president.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      All of us, Katey.

      Sorry, I bet you’ve heard enough ‘AOT,K’ jokes for a lifetime.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      You know that you can join the darkside with us and pick a name and an avatar that is not the real you. If you are concerned.

      • Katey Brannum

        I have one. Too mad to click over to the other browser.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        But I like using the real me pic, It’s a great way to show my Halloween costumes. I wish I were as clever at names as some here. (like yours.)

  • Jmom

    We have a winner!

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Fuck you, Sarah. When someone says something that is perceived as offensive, normal people apologize.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      “I’m sorry if you were offended” is the GOP version.

      • Lord Jim

        “I’m sorrynotsorry if you were offended. You WATB.”

        Fixed.

    • elviouslyqueer

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

      “Normal.”

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and so on to infinity, etc., also too.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    If and that’s a BIG IF, TRMP was there to work, then why is he spending so much time tweeting, watching TV and golfing?

  • Indiepalin

    It’s no coincidence that this dress is the same color as the Sweet Potato Pie bar at Golden Corral.

    • cmd resistor

      Wait, a sweet potato pie bar is a thing?

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    lol — Trump was bought by the Rooskies

    • Meccalopolis

      Pretty cheap as presidents go

  • WotsAllThisThen

    So “she’ll do anything” now means “she’ll take my phone call?”

  • BaconzHRTbrokezn

    He can’t be bought but you can rent-to-own him.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      It’s more of a leasing thing. The Russians don’t want him after the term ends.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Drive him like a rental!

        • Daniel

          I read that as “renal”. I thought it was a pee hooker joke.

        • BaconzHRTbrokezn

          I’m going to beat the shit out of this president

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          But be ready to bail out, ’cause he’s a Pinto.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            unsafe at any speed

        • wide_stance_hubby

          And return him full of puke?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • OrdinaryJoe

    The Special Interest Administration with the Special Interest Cabinet led by the President owned by Special Interests.

    • SullivanSt

      He’s not just owned by Special Interests.

      He is a Special Interest.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        особый интерес

        fixed

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Drain the swamp

    DRINK!

    • Tragic Typos

      “Clinton”

      *Chases the dragon*

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    She’s slamming Gillibrand .. lol

    • gallbladder

      WINNING!!!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Not slut shamming, wink wink wink.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Wait, did Sarah just admit Donald could be bought for favors for Kirsten?

    • Victoria Ricola

      Yes.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Here’s how to bribe!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Yup, there it is. The “if you think what Trump said was sexist, then the problem is *you*”.

    • Christopher Story

      The only people who accuse people of racism are racists

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And since he is making that rigged system even worse with his appointees and ethics violations and deregulation efforts, WTF is your point, Sarah?

    • Lord Jim

      No swamp! No swamp! YOU’RE the swamp!

      • Meccalopolis

        Bitch is the creature from the black lagoon

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    This presser is going really well.

    • Meccalopolis

      For me to poop on

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Told you she would not redeem herself. She is garbage.

  • Daniel

    “When he said she’d do anything for them, he meant light chores. He was not talking about her as though she was a whore, but as though she was a slave. Only filthy minded people would think otherwise.”

  • Tragic Typos

    Maybe Trump should call in the favor he admits to buying from Kirsten Gillibrand and ask her to lay off.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    “DRAIN THE SWAMP” – if we made a drinking game during this we would die.

    • TakingAmes

      I’m totally screwed when it comes to my annual State of the Union drinking game. Everyone’s getting alcohol poisoning.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I’d give up alcohol forever and ever if someone makes her cry.

  • armed_bears

    Disqus is not up to this challenge. Imma be back to read the box score after all the tears have been shed.

  • Katey Brannum

    I’m not happy I let Wonkette suck me into watching this. There isn’t enough snark in the world to counter this horror of a press conference.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That may be true, but we’re gonna try anyway!

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    So they are doubling down with the corruption allegations now.

  • gallbladder

    Has Acosta been allowed a question yet?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      no

    • WotsAllThisThen

      After that last bill signing, do we even have proof of life?

  • gene108

    Maybe the fact Donald Trump doesn’t know the women he grabbed by the pussy can be used as proof he has dementia or some other form of cognitive impairment and therefore grounds to kick him out of the Presidency?

    A boy can dream…

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Or just an indiscriminate predatory Rapey McRape Face?

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Ol’ lop eyes hates April Ryan … lol

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Pooty hates everyone.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        She said good old April’s mind was in the gutter … lol

        • cmd resistor

          April’s never gonna get that pie.

    • SullivanSt

      Couldn’t possibly imagine what it might be about April Ryan poot lips might hate…

      • Boscoe

        How dare you! I’ll have you know she has a black lawyer! ..or lawn ornament. SOMETHING!

  • SullivanSt

    Someone ought to ask SHS why she chose to wear the mark of the beast so proudly.

    I say that not because I believe any of that nonsense, but because she does.

  • proudgrampa

    “3:39: Sanders name-dropped Hillary Clinton for no reason. DRIIIIIIIINK!”

    Sorry, I thought we were supposed to start drinking when SHS started saying words.

    • Victoria Ricola

      We weren’t?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      It’s not just me that got the rules wrong then.

      • SullivanSt

        Where is the error?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If you want to talk about personal, look at the comments she’s made about him

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53743e4e8afdeed2ce35bc8490065afcdef153f2955b6bec3bfd8daae3b77336.jpg

    • Jimh

      Not very nice people, I can tell you.

    • Arolpin

      He is being treated unfairly. If he were treated fairly the state would pay for his food, clothing, and shelter. He just may not like the choices (orange jumpsuits, green bologna sandwiches, and the greybar motel).

  • NastyBossetti

    Did she seriously say that “only if your mind is in the gutter” shit, just like literally everyone predicted she would? God, it’s so pathetic!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      It’s our fault for taking sexual innuendo and calling it out for what it is.

      • NastyBossetti

        Maybe I wouldn’t be in the gutter if these assholes didn’t keep pushing me there.

      • Boscoe

        Trump is so pure and innocent like a baby that he didn’t even know what the words meant!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Plus, Trump’s mind is ALWAYS in the gutter. It’s where his mind – at least what’s left of it – lives.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      What else could she say? If I said she’s paid to wash Trump’s balls, I could follow up with get your mind out of the gutter.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Yup, it’s our fault for thinking the “grab them by the pussy” guy was intending to smear a female Senator with a sexist remark

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Last question, thank God. I came in late and yet the part I did catch is making my blood boil FFS.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • OrdinaryJoe

    Lying liar Huckabeast responses = Fake new conference.

  • Tragic Typos

    Wait, this is ending? What happened to the “Letters from Pickle” segment?

    • Jmom

      Did you know Mike Pence’s cat was named Pickle? Strange huh?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “I think we have a very hard on for Russia. I mean we’ve been very hard on.”

  • Victoria Ricola

    Needz moar CNN question.

  • gallbladder

    Russia, yes, so hard done by.

  • Red Bird

    So……does anyone else think she is on Mueller’s list? And why is she never in the same picture as Hope Hicks?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Nah, SHS is not high enough on the food chain.

      • ImGoingBacon

        and didn’t she come into the picture months after Trump was sworn in?

      • Red Bird

        Doesn’t mean she hasn’t lied for The Cause.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    RUN AWAY!!

  • eastcoastlib

    “Sarah, I’m thinking of a word. It rhymes with “bunt”. Can you guess what it is”?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      “hunt” as in “that dog won’t”?

      • Lord Jim

        Shunt. Should be installed in her carotid artery so blood can reach the brain.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Is the dog’s name Mike?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          We’ll never know. Her brother David killed it.

        • proudgrampa

          White courtesy telephone for you…

    • yyyaz

      Twunt. Definitely twunt.

    • Leadfoot_LA

      Runt? As in Trump’s dick is a runt?

      • eastcoastlib

        WRONG!!!

        it”s “shunt”. An electrical device used to connect two currents. GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTERZ!!!!

        (JK, it was cunt)

    • Jimh

      Gunt.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Stunt! Press conference stunt!

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Punt? As in what she does with every question she doesn’t like?

    • armed_bears

      Check swing?

    • Arolpin

      Is it punt, which is the smart thing to do when it’s 4th & 98 from your own 1 yard line, but Drumpf and team call a draw play, with the fullback?

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Lunt, as in Lunt & Fontanne?

      Or is it Funt & Mundane?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKeSoxR6C_A

    • natoslug

      Blunt? As in, “Sarah Slanders has a blunt wit, honed like a stick of butter” or “please pass the blunt — I can’t take much more of this twunt’s lies?”

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    We sold oil… That showed the Russians who’s boss

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I wish somebody would ask her the obvious “Do you ever get sick of gaslighting the American people?”

    • Jay Hansen

      ATTEMPTED gaslighting.

    • canes_pugnaces

      A: He has been very clear from the start that after the biggest win in history, and more success than anyone has ever had, and being the best good looking orange man ever, he doesn’t know any of these gaslights. Never happened. YOu’re the gaslight. And Hillary.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      She’d bat that away in an instant: “I’m proud every day of my service to the American people. I see what you’re trying to imply, but I will never tire of speaking for and on behalf of the President because it’s the right thing to do. Next.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Well, that was fun. I think I’ll do something more soothing now, like bash my head against a wall repeatedly.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Sticking my finger into the electric pencil sharpener.

    • BaconzHRTbrokezn

      Or looking at stills of the rape of Nanking.

      • Miles Monroe

        Maybe a polar bear video.

      • yyyaz

        Worst part of looking at those? You know a certain percentage of Cheeto McFuckface’s fascist cult would approve of rounding up all us libruls and doing the same to us.

        • BaconzHRTbrokezn

          You know the Japanese are systematically removing or glossing over all references to the invasion of China during WW2 from text books. Even collage books

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      No need. When I’m through with it, you can borrow the railroad spike I’m about to nail into my skull.

  • altleftjohn
  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
  • armed_bears

    Panicked, sweaty and uncomfortable. Reminded me of the prom.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Reminds me of Trump trying to get up on the table for his annual physical this year.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Snarling anger beast is the only mode they have.

  • beingreleased

    Why does she always look like she ain’t gonna put up with your shit any longer?

    • Christopher Story

      Hangovers

      • beingreleased

        She does look a bit hungover. And by “bit” I mean “a lot.”

    • Crystalclear12

      Resting Southern bitch face.

  • BaconzHRTbrokezn

    You I gotta say I wouldn’t play poker with her. Some one who can lie that we’ll with a straight face could surely out bluff me in 7 card stud.

    • Daniel

      Get your mind out of the gutter! She has one card stud and she’s very happily committed to him.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      I wouldn’t really call it lying well. I’d defer to calling it to lying a lot.

      • BaconzHRTbrokezn

        Practice makes perfect.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Oh, I am pissed. I flagged and reported two Twitter idiots for saying that Warren was the one who implied Gillibrand “sucked dick” for votes and “maybe she knows something we don’t”.

    • William

      Relax. Just yesterday, some Goober on an unrelated site remarked about an unkempt woman in a messy trailer the following. “She must be a Obama supporter”. He went on a little rant about Trump saving the nation. The Facebook site and the post had absolutely nothing to do with politics. The rant was littered with misspelled words and horrendous grammar. Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at his profile. He’s from the deep south, didn’t complete high school, and works at a car wash. He’s 42.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        He works at a car wash at 42? Good on him for taking a job that is so far above his abilities.

  • I am positive there are several whores in DC, but i am also positive none of them are Kirsten Gillibrand

    • FukuiSanYesOta
      • Who is this? Someone from a DC escort site?

        • Daniel

          He’s a Scandewegian intern named Several Hørs.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Oh damn.
            That is quite the unfortunate name.

          • TakingAmes

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          That’s Aaron Shock’s “personal photographer”, Jonathon with an A.

          As reported by our own dearly beloved Evan.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          What you see in the dictionary when you look up “twunk” (past-tense of “twink”). Still pretty easy on the eyes, though…

  • jaspersdad

    The Trump admin has a ‘very hard on’ for Russia.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Bigly, da?

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Bolshy!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors
  • MynameisBlarney

    Kinda OT, but…

    He seriously thinks lying about easily provable things is the winning strategy here.

    http://people.com/politics/donald-trump-natasha-stoynoff-photo-proof/

    • jesterpunk

      Because it worked before when he was a private citizen and could sue everyone.

    • Robyn Ryan

      If professional reporters can’t come up with better questions, she owns them.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    3:18: OK, the guy is done with his briefing, and now reporters are asking him questions. COME BACK, SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS, WE WANNA SEE HOW YOU FUCK THIS UP.

    Have to admit, Sarah did not disappoint.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      WE WANNA SEE HOW YOU FUCK THIS UP even more.

  • BaconzHRTbrokezn

    How come I think she always leaves the room murmuring “what’s the deal with ALL the questions at these press briefings?”

  • Christopher Story

    I’m starting to believe that this is Sarah trying to deserve her father’s love.

  • Aaron Wise

    Hey press corps…Great journalism!

    Great at taking it up the ass again.

    Why even attend?

  • SeeTrainOffTheRails

    The Ministeress of Propaganda’s had a busy day.

    Nearly a whole 20 minutes of work.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Mistress of Propaganda. Whores gotta whore.

    • Aaron Wise

      Another press briefing, another day off for journalists in attendance.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Trump IS the embodiment of the corruption of the political system.

    • yyyaz

      You obviously haven’t been gaslighted enough to know that is undeniably fake news.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        The nation’s supply of illuminating gas was heavily depleted during the WMD incident, and are still well below normal because all the fractioning towers were damaged in hurricanes.

  • Crystalclear12

    Notes to self: buy bite guard for watching Sanders’ briefings.
    At this rate I just know I’m going to break a tooth from clenching my teeth.

  • BMW
  • Roadstergal

    Sarah Huckabee Slanders. Saw it on Wonkette yesterday, cannot top it.

    • TakingAmes

      I still like Shuckles.

  • jesterpunk

    Trump is so concerned about Russia that he still hasn’t done the sanctions congress told him to do?

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    The administration has a very hard-on for Russia?
    PEE TAPE! PEE TAPE! PEE TAPE!

    • Resistor Radio

      Okay you are faster than me, Fitz

      • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

        zing, blang, boom
        blazing keyboards

    • BaconzHRTbrokezn

      Even if it existed would you want to watch it? That’s one of those things you can’t unsee.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        If it exists, we should require EVERYONE to watch it. Make an entire museum out of it on the capitol mall. Maybe even all the visitors get peed upon.

        The New “Never Forget” (that we somehow elected a fucking gross ambulatory shitstain traitor)

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s like the Germans’ secret weapon during the war, the joke so funny it killed you, only not funny. Not at all funny.

      • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

        It’s not that I would want to watch it.
        It’s that I believe it should be required watching in High School Civics classes across the nation, nay THE WORLD.

  • Resistor Radio

    It’s not that he’s hard on Russia, it’s that he has a hard-on FOR Russia.

  • Tetman Callis

    Wait. Trump has a hard on for Russia? I thought it was the other way around.

  • jesterpunk

    Hey everyone, remember whatever you do do not call Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole. The right gets really mad when you say “Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole” so don’t say “Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole” because we wouldn’t want them to get mad would we? Their feelings are hurt really bigly anytime someone says “Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole”. But does anyone else thing Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole?

    • Shan

      Don’t call her a redneck, either.

      • jesterpunk

        Or a debased redneck asshole.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Hillbilly trash – did I say that?

      • eastcoastlib

        Is gator bait okay? Because I pretty sure she would make excellent gator bait. They love the greasy, stinky stuff

    • MynameisBlarney

      I will NOT be calling Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        I will also not be calling Sarah Huckleberry Sanders an asshole.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Good on ya, because calling Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole would be calling Sarah Huckabe Sanders an asshole.

          • notaten

            As long as I don’t say Sarah Huckabee Sanders is a Redneck Asshole then I’m not saying Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an asshole. Or something.

      • TakingAmes

        I will not call Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole. I will not call Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole. I will not call Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole. I will not call Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole. I will not call Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole.

        There. Now detention is over.

    • JoeChristmas

      Or poop lips.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        Because “Poot Lips” is taken.

    • eastcoastlib

      Asshole Libelz!!!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Anus orafice?

    • bupkus231

      How about an amateurish professional prostituting liar?

      How can this fool keep her job? I suppose Rump’s TV viewing habits don’t include the WH’s own “press briefings” – because even as delusional as he is, he coildn’t see her as doing a “good job”…

      I suspect this is one of the cases where no one else the WH has ever approached will take the job.

      • jesterpunk

        Trump likes his people to argue with the press, that is the only thing he cares about.

        • bupkus231

          That’s not arguing. That is flat falsehood, deflection, denial – and not even believable.

          Sure, Rump seems to think that there’s no such thing as “bad” publicity, but shit, when your presenter is so amateurish that she has become a fucking joke, you would think anyone paying attention would make a change. I think that’s it – Rump is paying absolutely NO attention to Sarah and the WH press office, preferring to believe that his tweets mean more….

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails
      • jesterpunk

        I missed that comment.

    • Meccalopolis

      Just to make sure I’m getting this right, DON’T say she’s an asshole?

      • jesterpunk

        Correct, don’t say Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an asshole.

        • Meccalopolis

          got it: SHS is an asshole… D’oh!

    • Boojum

      Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an asshole; you say we shouldn’t say that?

      • jesterpunk

        Right, don’t say Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an asshole. They get really mad when you say Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an asshole.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Nicolle Wallace’s show should be lit — she has Schmidt and Charlie Sykes on — lol.

  • JoeChristmas

    You know who is a real whore? Melena, the Third Lady.

    • SisterArtemis

      really? you’re going to go there? “No, SHE is the REAL whore!” is not really that great of a strategy.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Please chill on that shit, man. Families. (Does not extend to the three adult siblings because they’re in on it.)

    • Robyn Ryan

      Fine. Feel better? Go away.

  • Notreelyhelping

    “And, in closing, let me just say: God Besh Americash!”
    “You mean God bless America?”
    “Yes, but that’s not how we say it anymore.”

  • eastcoastlib

    I have a problem.

    in front of me are two bottles of Tequila, a six pack of Fat Tire and bottle of Maker’s Mark.
    My plan is to finish all of them before the Alabama race is called so I will be so shit faced that the results will be like a dark figure passing through a dense fog. My issue is where to start.

    • johnnyknj

      Start with the Maker’s. Wash it down with the beer. That way you won’t taste the tequila.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I like you.

        • johnnyknj

          And I you, comrade.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      OK, crack a Fat Tire while you make the decision.

      Then, a four-finger of Makers. Chase with beer. Repeat as necessary.

      By the time you get to the tequila, Mr Jones should be a senator, FSM willing.

      • eastcoastlib

        Done!! I feel better already.

      • Crank Tango

        You’re like a life coach, only for important stuff.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Start whereever you are.

    • notaten

      I always heard “beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer, never fear’. I personally have done it all of the ways and never noticed a difference. YMMV

      • Crank Tango

        Beer before whiskey, pretty risky, also too.

        Personally, I think the problem is the shots that people shouldn’t be drinking when they are already hammered.

        • TundraGrifter

          Another major problem is people going out and having several pops on an empty stomach. “Friday Night Syndrome” – and a common occurance at Holiday Parties.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      For the sake of your head tomorrow have a few pretzels and throw a couple of glasses of water in there, too. We will need brain cells for 2018.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You could start at the very beginning.
      A very good place to start.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        D’oh!

    • wavicles

      No need to hurry, within 48 hours we’ll have some other horendous behavior to not be shocked at anymore.

  • Robyn Ryan

    The question is: ” Trump isn’t going to apologize for calling Sen Gillibrand a whore, is he?”Every question needs to be a ‘when did you stop beating your wife?’ style question.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    out of (morbid) curiosity – what was on the laundry list of “reasons Gillbrand’s a whore”?

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Has anyone told SHS to go fuck herself today? If not, let me be the first.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Questions with follow-up for the next trip to Hades:
    1) When is it 2020? Soon?
    2) How does the President grab so much with those little hands? Does he put spray tan on them?
    3) When was the last time Melon spoke to him? In English?

    • BeachLoafer

      My guess is she swears much betterer in her native tongue

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    “Only if your mind is in the gutter!”

    Trump to tweet something to make this into a complete utter lie, in 3,2,1
    “Of course I meant she was a prostitute, I call her Prostitute Gillibrand”

    • bupkus231

      Gillibrand claims that she’s met with Rump only once, with Ivanka present AND in 2010. One’s mind does not have to be in the gutter to recognize that Rump is lying his fuckin’ ass off again.

      I think the WH press corps needs to show up at the next press briefing with pitchforks and torches – because allowing Huckabee to get away with this shit is monstrous. I know the WH press corps is not known for their courage in protecting their access – but fuck it. If everyone of the legitimate media walked out, what the fuck would Rump do?

      • Travalanche

        Celebrate having exactly the press pool he wants, most likely.

      • Cosmic Owl

        The press corps has taken to calling Sarah The Wall.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        He’d have a fit. Being in the news is everything to him. There’s nothing he hates more than media silence. Of course, he’d probably Nuke N Korea to get back on the front page

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    “Trump didn’t call her a whore, it was me, his lawyer who did it!”

  • natoslug

    Okay, about to attempt to go back to the “All The Fuckery They Think They Can Get Past Us In Alabama” article. Maybe the twelfth time of trying to get that page to load and not just completely lock up my browser will work. If not, yet another browser force-quit, and I give up on finding out what our Wonkette was trying to say there . . .

  • trembler

    She said Trump can’t be bought … ha ha ha

    • Msgr_MΩment

      That’s not what Pooty Poot said.

      • wavicles

        It’s a lease so, he doesn’t even have to maintain the thing much. Fuck it! Soon it’ll be some other schmucks problem.

      • trembler
    • Cliff Hendroval

      Rented, maybe, but not bought.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • ltmcdies
    • Cosmic Owl

      Give the moron Trump hell, Rep. Cummings.

      More please.

    • mardam422

      Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.

    • Mike Steele

      Preach, Elijah:)

    • Delu

      “And while you are at it, get the fuck out of the whitehouse.”

    • phoenix00

      That’s an awful lot of demands stuffed into 140/280 characters. Hard for Dumpnuts to follow.

    • Rickyphoo

      I love that guy!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    So today SHS wore her “shroud stolen off the corpse of a victim of the Black Death ensemble (with culchad pearls or plastic beads, whatever.)”

    Yet she still does not inspire confidence.

    Let’s face it, Hucks, you weren’t cut out for this job. Go hide in the bushes.

    Trump needs to turn this over someone who has mastered every challenge, a man of infinite capacities, before whose domestic and international fireworks career civil servants and career diplomats alike tremble in awe.

    I am speaking, of course, of Jared Kushner The Answer to Everything.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Mooch submits his Vitae.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        If “Observed Steve Bannon Auto-fellating” does not get him a job, what kind of a world is this?

  • jaspersdad

    Some classic Steve Martin.

    “And this doesn’t happen very often, but about three weeks ago I met a girl and she was real nice and she invited me to her apartment. So I went over there and she had the best pussy I have ever… Oh now come on! I’m talking about her cat! Now that makes me sick right there! Now you can’t say anything anymore that people don’t take it as dirty and I’m sorry but that disgusts me!

    That cat was the best fuck I’ve ever had…”

  • Me not sure

    If Alexa Were Press Secretary:
    Reporter: “Alexa, is Kristen Gillibrand a whore?”
    Alexa: ” No. Would you like to hear what I know about Russian pee hookers?”
    See? That’s much better.

  • DainBramage
  • Suse

    Paulette Feeney‏
    @PauletteParis1

    Replying to @joshtpm @davidfrum

    @PressSec is Mistress of Propaganda. She has sold her soul. #GoebbelsInPearls
    12:56 PM – 12 Dec 2017

    “GoebbelsInPearls” – lmao!

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Marion in Savannah:

      I’ll be damned, you’re right. #MistressOfPropaganda

    • Hemp Dogbane

      This gives me a very hard on.

  • wavicles

    Thanks Evan, you do great with wha’cha got.

  • Slinger

    Hey Sarah, you’re overdue for you 12 Diet Coke enema.

  • azeyote

    now we know what barnyard animals think today –

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Every bit her two-bit snake-oil selling traveling salvation show father’s daughter.

  • mardam422

    I look forward to the day when SHS is reduced to helping little, lame old ladies to the stage so her Daddy can cure them of whatever the devil has set in them.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    “Seriously, how does she sleep at night?”
    Evan, you are making a big assumption, which is that anyone in the White House gets any sleep. Here is a list of the things that sleep deprivation can do to your brain, which I’m sure will sound familiar. Don’t forget that none of these people started off at the top of the intelligence pyramid.

    1) Accidents: Drowsiness can slow reaction time as much as driving drunk.
    2) Dumbness: Sleep loss can impair attention, alertness, concentration, reasoning, and problem solving. This makes it more difficult to learn efficiently.
    3) Health problems
    4) Decreases in libido: less interest in sex
    5) Depression:
    6) Aging of skin: When you don’t get enough sleep, your body releases more of the stress hormone cortisol. In excess amounts, cortisol can break down skin collagen, the protein that keeps skin smooth and elastic.
    7) Forgetfulness: sleep helps the brain to consolidate memories
    8) Gaining weight: Lack of sleep seems to be related to an increase in hunger and appetite, and possibly to obesity.
    9) Death: Cutting sleep to five hours or fewer a night will nearly double the risk of death from all causes.
    10) Judgment: lack of sleep can affect our interpretation of events. This hurts our ability to make sound judgments because we may not assess situations accurately and act on them wisely.

    https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/10-results-sleep-loss#1

  • Regret

    “this White House is VERY CONCERNED about Americans getting accurate information”
    in the same way I am very concerned about cars killing pedestrians, i.e. They don’t want it to happen.

  • Mike Steele

    Our dearest Evan: It is only in a spirit of love that we ONCE AGAIN implore you not to invoke the protestations of Joe/Mika on the matter of Trump. They were the sleaziest and most cynical of his enablers, and both of them – to paraphrase Bannon – ‘knew better’, so for them, there is a special place in Hell. However, unlike last year, perhaps not a table at the Mar-A-Lago New Year’s Eve party…SAD!

    • Bob Bancroft

      Yes, but we need every Johnny-come lately, after the fact changeling- especially any with media exposure- to increase the drumbeat for removal of Trump, Pence, Sessions and all the rest.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Wonkette and Evan H have been TOO KIND to this steaming pile of waste.

    Can’t you just dispense with the ‘one more chance’ BS and just get on with the slicing and dicing?

    The milk of human kindness is wasted on SHS. It’s too precious a commodity and needs to be handled carefully in this era of craven donnie.

  • pgjack

    Damn that Poor Lips is and asshole!

  • Pippi’s Bongstocking

    Fuck Sarah and the horse Roy Moore’s idiot wife rode to vote on!!

  • Mystery_Poster

    It took me a minute to realize SHS was Sarah Huckabee Sanders. From now on, you must use the initals PL for Poot Lips (much better). I will also allow CPL, for Captain Poot Lips.

  • “Seriously, how does she sleep at night?”

    Hanging upside-down by her claws?

  • Relativicus

    At least tell us if anyone giggled when she said “hard on”.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    She’s genuinely a sociopath

    • Mehmeisterjr

      She’s a Huckabee. It goes with the territory.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Forget about it Jake, it’s Little Rock

      • phoenix00

        Runs in the family

        (Emphasis: runs)

  • Delu

    I guess the answer is yes then.

    Ok, no surprises.

  • Cat Cafe

    Wait, she said Trump had a “hard on” for Putin?

  • guppy06

    she sold her soul to the bowels of hell.

    Are the “Poot Lips” the endpoint of said bowels?

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    She is an officer of the trump regime and she is “just following orders”. She will go down in history as another criminal conspirator in this ongoing human right violation of a “presidency”.

    Its was rude to call her a motherfucker. She, in fact, is a fucking cunt.

    • ez

      Just moved into a new pair of bifocals, Ms Sarah looks about like everyone else at the moment.

      • rg9rts

        I hate them….

    • Hesavebread!

      There are enough things to attack her for without going after her looks.

      • rg9rts

        What would you do if you woke up in the morning next to that?

    • Rickyphoo

      SHS is a terrible excuse for a human being; no doubt about it. However, I do feel a little sorry for her. I mean, imagine if you had to go through life looking like her father in drag.

    • rg9rts

      ROTFLMAO

  • Edna

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    fb481d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleInternetPartyCommunityWorkFromHome/make/more ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fb481lhhhh

  • SilBot64

    These assholes.

    ‘We didn’t do anything wrong – there’s something wrong with YOU for noticing that we did something wrong!”

  • UpstateNYObserver

    Huckspawn is really better named “Baghdad Barbie” – no more ability to grasp reality than her namesake “Baghdad Bob”, with luck she’ll suffer the same fate too.

  • rg9rts

    so says the woman(?) beaten violently about the head and shoulders with a ugly stick

Previous articleAll The Fuckery They Think They Can Get Past Us In Alabama
Next articleThis Alabama Dad Is The Hero We Wish We Didn’t Need