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Weird day.

Monday was interesting! On the day before the Alabama Senate election, pitting a nice Democratic guy named Doug Jones against a gross Republican named Roy Moore, who’s been credibly accused of molesting young girls, Donald Trump’s sexual harassment/abuse accusers came together to demand Congress get off its ass and investigate the president’s bad behavior. New York Democratic Senator Kirsten Gillibrand called for Trump to resign over the allegations. In response, the White House, of course, said FAKE NEWS! The Trump administration continued the same line it’s been spewing ever since the #MeToo reckoning started, that Trump’s accusers’ many claims were disproven when America graded Trump on the curve provided by the Electoral College and made him president by a margin of minus three million votes.

In light of all this, Monday’s White House press briefing was fuckin’ weird. Here’s a video for you to look at:

Sarah Huckabee “Poot Lips” Sanders (we’re not allowed to call her an asshole no more, just kidding yes we are) actually seemed to get a bit rattled when asked about Trump’s many accusers, for one thing. She said all the same crap about how the accounts from these women are irrelevant, because the American people judged and juried that whole situation when they barely elected him president. But shit got weird when a reporter (around 38:00 the video) asked if she could say with “100% certainty” that the president’s accusers are lying, and moreover asked, “Do you wrestle with this personally at all?”

SANDERS: I’m here to speak on behalf of the president. [Blah blah blah more words, certainly none of which answered the question about whether she “wrestled with this personally.”]

Immediately after, another reporter followed up:

REPORTER: As a woman … I know your job is to relate what the president says, but have you ever been sexually harassed? … And secondly, do you have an empathy for those who come forward? Because it’s very difficult for women to come forward.

SANDERS: I would say certainly that I have an empathy … I’m not here to speak about my personal experience on that front, but I’m here to relay information on behalf of the president.

So that’s … telling. She can’t say for sure Trump’s accusers are lying (because no reasonable person actually thinks they are) and she sure as hell isn’t going to talk about her own life experiences as a woman. Her boss in the Oval wouldn’t like that!

In response to another reporter asking about whether the Trump accusers’ allegations are false, Sanders said, “I’m not going to respond to that question.”

The odd thing is that Sanders actually looked really uncomfortable in these moments. Maybe the veneer of calm, dishonest, self-satisfied assholery that has characterized her tenure as press secretary is starting to crack the tiniest bit.

The briefing wasn’t all about Poot Lips having to defend Donald Trump the Sexual Predator. At one point, a reporter asked what the fuck is up with Trump whining so much about reporters making mistakes in their Russia investigation reporting, considering how he doesn’t give two solitary fucks about actual disinformation campaigns, especially those started by his BFFs the Russians. (None of the reporters present took that moment to point out that the president is the greatest fucking liar currently living on planet Earth.) We are not exaggerating to say Sanders lost her shit, while spewing utterly dishonest fuckery. (Refer to 30:00 in the above video.)

SANDERS: When journalists make honest mistakes, they should own up to them!

[REPORTERS]: We do!

SANDERS: Sometimes! And a lot of times you don’t! But there’s a difference, there’s a very big difference … I’M SORRY. I’M NOT FINISHED. There’s a VERY BIG DIFFERENCE between making honest mistakes and purposely misleading the American people, something that happens regularly. You can’t say … [to another reporter] I’M NOT DONE! You cannot say that it’s an honest mistake when you’re purposefully putting out information you know to be false. Or when you’re taking information that hasn’t been validated, that hasn’t been offered any credibility or that has been continually denied by a number of people, including people with direct knowledge of an instance!

Weirdly, Shuckabee was not talking about Breitbart, Infowars, or the Gateway Pundit. (OR HER BOSS.) Asked for evidence that real reporters do what she’s suggesting, she spit out the words, “Brian Ross,” and proceeded to offer no evidence that ABC’s Brian Ross willfully misled people. So basically she was just yelling at reporters for intentionally doing fake news, and she ain’t had shit to back it up with.

Cool story, Poot Lips.

Did we mention that the entire press briefing, Sanders openly fought with reporters who wanted to ask follow-ups, because apparently she wasn’t in the mood to do her fucking job today? (Charitably, maybe she wasn’t feeling well or had just gotten some bad news. Maybe her brother killed another dog on accident or something.)

Yeah. Weird day.

And it’s over now, because this is your open thread, HOORAY!

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  • Michael R
  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    Weirder than usual? Now that’s an accomplishment.

  • dshwa

    Poot lips is losing it. And the press corps is actually showing signs of life. Would have loved if one of them had said “So stories like the Uranium One story, which was easily and quickly disproven, should never have aired?”

    Or better yet “So the Obama fake birth certificate reporting, which never had any credible evidence or support from any reliable sources, stories like that should never have been published or aired?”

    • KnaveOfSwords

      If we’re very, very lucky, one or more of them will decide to give us all an early Christmas present and bring a list of fake stories that the dotard has been spreading to tomorrow’s briefing.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        I’m assuming that the reason that the reporters are not getting heavy with her is because they fear they’ll be disinvited from the fish and goose soirée?

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    I love how the party of “The Sandy Hook Shooting Was Staged by Actors” is demanding accuracy in journalism.

  • Lamb Urgini
  • Bitter Scribe

    Fuck fuck fuck. Didn’t get the job I’d been strung along for since August.

    Oh well. Guess I’m not getting financial security in my stocking this Christmas.

    • Crystalclear12

      Condolences.
      I hope you get something good soon.

      • 52camellias

        Feeling your pain, Bitter Scribe; I too have been experiencing the unemployeds since October. Moving back into the parental home, even, to save Ameros. Sads.

    • Eileen Besse

      Sorry….

    • William

      Sorry that happened to you.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I am really sorry to hear that. It’s their loss. I hope something really great comes to you soon.

    • BosGrl

      Geez, I’m sorry.

  • Joe Beese

    I’m not in favor of asking her if she has personally been sexually harassed.

    • I started wondering if she was Duggared before the Duggars…

      • H0mer0

        MY EYEZZZZZ!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Why not? She’s protecting someone who has openly bragged about sexually assaulting women.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I don’t think that kind of question would work.

      However, the next time that she asks reporters to say what they are grateful for and one of them replied, “I am grateful that serial killer Wayne DuMond who was released by your father will never kill again.” her reign of sub-terror would end.

      Could it be that the White House Press Corps has had enough or will they revert to their servile habits toot sweet?

  • Christopher Boscarino

    Go ahead, call her whatever you like. We love you for it.

    P.S. This is not a threat.

  • Dartemus

    Also, too, reporters said Barack Obama was born in the United States, same as Abraham Lincoln, which the president has grave doubts about, so Fake News.

  • Crystalclear12

    Soon they will be sending her to the same “farm” they sent Spicer to.
    She’ll be happy there😕

  • Angela Ruzzo

    “You cannot say that it’s an honest mistake when you’re purposefully putting out information you know to be false. Or when you’re taking information that hasn’t been validated, that hasn’t been offered any credibility or that has been continually denied by a number of people, including people with direct knowledge of an instance!”

    Ummm … isn’t that exactly what the GOP is doing with their talk about the tax bill producing economic growth and reducing the deficit, as so brilliantly explained in Five Dollar Feminist’s article today entitled “Would This Guy Lie To You About Trump’s Super Awesome Tax Plan? YES, YES HE WOULD!”

    • Tsk, don’t you know it’s OK if you’re a Republican?

    • dshwa

      Birtherism, the Tax cuts, the economy under Obama, and that’s just off the top of my head for FOX.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Right. As I said in an earlier non-comment, the lying has become so all-encompassing that if a Republican told me the sun rises in the East, I would get up early tomorrow morning to double-check.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Muslims massing on the Messican border, Muslims celebrating in Jersey City after 9/11, massive inflation under Obama, etc…

        • SterWonk

          … Obama raising taxes for most people, the ACA killing jobs, a Benghazi-related stand-down order, …

  • GoutMachine

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders: An asshole, or the biggest asshole?

    Hoofwanking bunglecunt twatwaffle, also too.

    • Raan

      Asshole.

      Now her boss…

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I love how the Defenders Of The Asshole Who Confessed On A Hot Mic have decided that the reason Franken should resign is”he admitted it”.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Which is even weirder, considering Franken admitted to nothing other than taking a juvenile photo that was in poor taste. Most people overlook the fact that not even Leeann Tweeden said he touched her when the photo was taken. I went back and listened to her interview with CNN, just to make sure I had not misunderstood what I thought she said.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        I have been too busy to Google. I thought multiple women had accused Franken?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Five of them were anonymous, one of them was a Trump supporter who said Franken squeezed her butt when her husband was photographing them (which would be exceedingly stupid on Franken’s part if it’s true), and one of them was Leeann Tweeden.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            And that’s fine. Investigations are for prosecutors.

            One of the primary reasons I don’t get into investigative discussions (especially regarding Franken) is that I was, as a teen (and still am, to a large extent) involved in live entertainment of one sort or another. For various reasons, some historical and some mechanical, that is an extremely fertile environment for rapey assholes. I witnessed plenty of shit that would get people fired and/or arrested today, and that was at the High School level, natch. There are still rumors (unsubstantiated, because he’s still employed) about the guy in charge of our HS music theater program.

            Having said that, nobody kicked Franken out of anything. He decided to go, because he thought that would help other Democrats. That is what a non-asshole does. We are in absolutely no position to criticize his decision.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Any job involving kids, is going to attract creeps, unfortunately.

            Kristen Gillibrand and others put a lot of pressure on Franken to resign. He was not happy to do it, and he was put between a rock and a hard place. A lot of Democrats did not want him to go, and I am one of those. I think he got ratfucked by Roger Stone, and being a decent person, there wasn’t much he could do.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            *shrug* I am going to believe the victims until proven otherwise. Gillibrand has earned the right to say whatever the fuck she wants on this topic. None of this fascinating theoretical discussion makes anything Franken did involuntary. Gillibrand doesn’t have anything like the authority to kick him out of anything.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Gillibrand, along with other Dems put an enormous amount of pressure on Franken. I think he was entitled to an ethics investigation (that HE had requested).

            You’re assuming Franken “did something” without knowing anything other than that he took a stupid photo, before he was a senator. He admitted it was a stupid thing to do, and apologized.

            I find it fascinating that people who are calling for Franken’s head on a platter, didn’t excoriate Tweeden, who on the same tour, was seen squeezing a man’s ass on stage. Why does she get a pass on grabbing ass? She wasn’t pretending to grab a man’s ass, she was actually grabbing his ass. Seems like a bit of a double standard.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Bullshit. I’m not assuming Franken did anything. That’s between him, God, and his accusers. He’s a grown-ass man, who can make career decisions without our help or Gillibrand’s help. Nobody, least of all me, is excoriating Franken. He did the right thing, whether he is guilty or not.

            Once we get into whataboutism re what tweeden did or did not do, we’re way off in the weeds. I think this conversation is well past its sell-by date.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Bullshit?
            These are your words:
            “*shrug* I am going to believe the victims until proven otherwise.”

            It certainly sounds as if you think Franken is guilty. It’s odd that not a single woman who ever worked with him has stepped forward to say he was inappropriate. I always think it’s smart to believe anonymous accusers, and Trump supporters/Fox ecosystem employees, because if they aren’t telling the truth, who can we trust? Plus our whole system of law is based on taking the word of anonymous accusers.

            I asked you what you thought about Tweeden grabbing a man’s ass, because nobody who is throwing Franken under the bus has a problem with her exhibiting the same behavior that she was bitching about. If that’s not a double standard, I don’t know what is.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            To the best of my knowledge, the specifics of the allegations have not been made public. So, yes, I think Franken did something to these women that the didn’t like. I don’t know or care what that was.

            To repeat myself; I have no idea why the mechanical details of these allegations should have any bearing on Franken’s decision to resign. If he is innocent, he is more than welcome to pursue legal redress. However, whether he is guilty or not, he made the right decision both for himself and the Democratic party. His guilt, or innocence, or Gillibrand’s opinion on anything whatsoever, is completely fucking irrelevant to this matter.

            If I’m not mistaken, this is the third time I am making this point. Don’t we both have better things to do?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            You are incorrect, the allegations have been made public. Six of the allegations are that he grabbed women’s butts while they were having a photo op with him. Five of these allegations were made by anonymous accusers, and one was made by a Trump supporter. Tweeden says he shoved his tongue down her throat, when they were alone on an army base, which is odd since they both would have had minders looking after them, and then he took a demeaning photograph of her. I don’t believe she’s publicly commented on why she thinks it’s OK for her to grab a man’s ass on the same tour, without his permission. She might be just a tiny bit of a hypocrite.

            I’m curious when his seat goes to another woman hating Republican (Franken won his first race by 300 votes) if you’ll still think he made the right decision. Sure, Roe v. Wade will be overturned, and we could even lose the right to vote, but we can all be glad that we signalled our virtue by throwing Franken under the bus.

            Tweeden worked for Hooters, Playboy, and Fox, which are all bastions of women’s rights and equality, and I’m sure she’ll continue to work tirelessly for women’s rights. It’s not like Franken ever did anything for women, or for the country as a whole. You’ve convinced me! We were smart to throw him under the bus on the say so of a Fox employee.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Nope, not doing it. Not playing the game of “let’s sacrifice some real women to save some hypothetical ones”. That’s exactly what Junior tried to do with his dumbass Skittles tweet, and that’s what makes them them and us us. If that’s where you want me to go with you, you can find another sucker.

            If a theocrat picks up that seat, we’ll deal with it. Or, we won’t. That possibility still does not entitle me to question victims or tell Grown Ass Al Franken what to do. If that makes you consider me an entitled penis-haver, I guess I’ll just have to find a way to live with that.

            For fuck’s sake, if we started dealing in hypotheticals we’d never leave the house.

            Another bit of morbid curiosity; how the fuck did you think this conversation would go, exactly? I still say that with a bit of forethought you could have saved everybody some time.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            “Everybody?” It’s just the two of us having a conversation.

            You STILL didn’t answer my question, so I’m going to assume you think it’s OK for a woman to grab a man’s ass. Even if the same woman is complaining about similar behavior from men.

            Yeah, we’ll deal with it when a Republican gets Franken’s seat, just like we’re dealing with Trump being the president and appointing Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court.

            I strongly suggest you read this piece by Charles Pierce, and the Dalia Lithwick article that he references. It explains why Democrats lose, while pretending we have some sort of moral high ground:
            http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a14381583/al-franken-resign-moral-high-ground/

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            And, I answered your question regarding Tweeden. You are engaging in whataboutism. That’s not a guarantee you’re arguing in bad faith, but it is a strong indicator.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            You actually did not answer my question about Tweeden. I asked you if you thought a woman sexually assaulting a man was OK, and you said I was engaging in “whataboutism.” Franken took a photo where he pretended to grab Tweeden’s boobs, someone took a photo of Tweeden where she IS grabbing a man’s ass. I’d say grabbing someone’s ass is worse than pretending to grab someone’s breasts, but that’s just me.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            For the record. No, sexually assaulting a man is not ok. The man in question, if he feels. victimized, should at the very least demand and receive an apology.

            Morbid curiosity prompts the question; are you pretending not to know what whataboutism is, or are you pretending that you are not engaging in it? What the holy fuck does anything Tweeden did or didn’t do have to do with Franken?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Oh, and by the way, I’m a lesbian, but I’ve had two women accuse me of sexual assault. One of them was when I was a kid in elementary school. She tried to seduce me, and to some extent succeeded, even though I didn’t really know what sex was. When we got to junior high school, she told someone that I had run across the room and kissed her against her will, and grabbed her breasts. This was complete and utter horseshit. I believe she lied about it, because she was worried I was going to tell people what had happened, which I had no intention of doing. I could have told people what actually had happened, but I just said that it never happened. The other incident happened a few years ago, with someone I never even met. I think that one may have been straight up mentally ill.

            Neither of these instances was a case of us “remembering things differently.” In one instance the girl was lying to cover her own ass, and the other was someone who was straight up crazy. Perhaps my own experience is why I have a bit more sympathy for someone I think is getting ratfucked, than you do.

            If Franken was a predator, I’m sure the women he worked with would have noticed it. Thirty six of them came forward in support of him, and not one of them said he was a predator. That’s a hint to me that he may be the one who is telling the truth.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            I’m very sorry about your personal history. However, I am still extremely hesitant to describe what is going on as a ratfucking, even if every last one of those women is lying. I think he has every chance of being reelected if he runs again, and I think he has many other options. If it was a ratfucking, it was pretty stupid. “If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine”, and all that.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Roger Stone knew, and Tweeted about Franken getting screwed, before it was public knowledge. I’d say this has his sticky little paws all over it.

            Why would Franken run again after resigning? That makes zero sense. His political career is effectively over, and he was one of our most effective senators. When you think of all the people asking questions of Betsy Devos, Franken’s questions are the ones you remember.

  • Crystalclear12

    Dumpster fire enabler says what?

  • William

    Weird? Compared to what? The normal references don’t really apply anymore. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e71da20dbd6584787297c76a28ef0627dcbc858d5b12bfd2953857aa74e330d5.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      Perhaps you’re not his type, sir.

  • Sophia

    “Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s Press Briefing Was Fuckin’ Weird Today”

    I looked at that and said yea it’s a day that ends in Y isn’t it

    • Just wait till they add the day of Trumpus, the 8th day of the week where Everything is Perfectly True.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    everything Captain Poot Lips knows about honesty she learned from her squirrel frying dad.

  • Suttree

    I really do have to give Poot Lips a little bit of respect though. She is one of the most stone faced fucking liars I have ever seen. Poor Spicy has nothing on Ms. Skwerl Stew.

    • Daniel

      Sean Spicer managed to “accidentally” deny the Holocaust and behave as though that made him wise. Don’t do the man down. He managed to lie even without needing to.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      As a former Arkansan…..Squirrel Stew LIBELZ!!!!111!!!1!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      She was raised by one of the most glib liars in the business. The apple doesn’t fall far from the grifty Christian asshole.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I would say certainly that I have an empathy…I keep it caged in my basement and feed it kitchen scraps. I am considering putting my empathy up for adoption because it doesn’t look well and it snarls at me whenever I get too close.”
    — Sarah Hucksterbee Sanders

  • TundraGrifter

    When it comes to intentionally misleading the American people, President Trump has a job at the factory.

    • Suttree

      Turnip is a shit magnet! Did they even have to search for any of these people, or did they just walk a few hundred miles by smell?

    • Bad Scooter

      it’s really the only thing he an claim as a skill.

  • Mary Theresa

    She went down hill after a journo ask her about her own sexual harassment experiences. Shaken and stirred.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Like vampires, sociopaths don’t like having a mirror held up to them.

      • Raan

        Unlike sociopaths, vampires react with boredom after 200 years of that schtick.

    • Buzz1313

      Wonder what Trump says about Sanders behind her back (or to her face). This is a guy who loves surrounding himself with beautiful women. I bet he rarely even speaks to her.

      • 52camellias

        I am positive that when Trump does speak of her, the words fatso or fatty are used, because he couldn’t possibly overlook that.

        • Buzz1313

          Bet her Daddy encourages her to put up with it, too.

      • Daniel

        I bet he speaks to her frequently enough to let her know how little he likes her looks. I imagine he jokes about her in her presence but never to her face quite a lot.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I picture him making fun of her behind her back. He’s probably given her a cute little nickname, like “the unfuckable Huckable” or something that uses the term “wide load.”

          • Daniel

            Nothing that clever. Just “Ugly Sarah”.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I KNOW that he’s got something about being fat in there, even though he’s no Slenderella himself.

          • Daniel

            When he looks in the mirror he sees a ripped 25 year old with a mane of golden hair and a tan from fifties Australian painting.
            Then he sees Melon in the mirror beside him and points out imagined cellulite.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Thank god he didn’t ask about incest, or she probably would have turned into a puddle.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Her father seemed to have no problem with Josh Duggar inserting his fingers into his little sisters’ vaginas.
        (I refuse to describe it as “molested” because what I just wrote is EXACTLY what he did)

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “because because the American people judged and juried that whole situation when they barely elected him president.”

    Hear that Donnie, your base thinks you never touched all those women and girls. Why, they think you got no action at all. Some of them even think you’re a virgin!

    • BosGrl

      Heh, I like this approach.

      • Boscoe

        Malignant narcissists ARE astonishingly easy to goad…

    • diogenez

      Rumor has it that he also has a very teeny little weeny.

      • diogenez

        Just ask Little Marco.

    • Bobathonic

      I heard all his “children” are really the progeny of actual billionaire Mark Cuban.

  • BMW

    The Trump administration continued the same line it’s been spewing ever since the #MeToo reckoning started, that Trump’s accusers’ many claims were disproven when America graded Trump on the curve provided by the Electoral College and made him president by a margin of minus three million votes.
    That infuriates me to no end.
    Here is why:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f4d7fa81e4390e995a0f144b69875b8da82bb1eed678a9050acd88d64b6627d3.jpg

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Sometimes it’s difficult to prove rape, and even harder to prove sexual assault or sexual harassment, but you know how you can tell with 100% certainty when someone is guilty of sexual assault?

      Answer: when they’re caught on tape, not only admitting it, but actually bragging about it.

      • Bobathonic

        He confessed, they confirmed.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          He lies so much, I was actually curious if he’d done it. Then when 16 women came forward, I thought “at long last he actually is telling the truth about something.”

      • tek

        turns out “I’m an incredibly successful businessman” was also “just locker-room talk”

  • memzilla Ω
    • Thiazin Red

      Over the counter NyQuil is such bullshit now. If I take NyQuil, I have a bad cold and want to be unconscious. I shouldn’t have to sign forms or be looked at like a crack head just because I want some proper NyQuil.

      • Werewolf

        Kinda like pseudoephedrine-I’m buying this so I don’t drill a hole into my sinus. I ain’t gonna cook meth with it , dammit!

        • Thiazin Red

          Drilling a hole does sound appealing sometimes. I just want to be able to sleep.

          • Shan

            Generic allergy medicine knocks me right out. I’m a cheap date.

      • BeachLoafer

        No shit – I’ve always said “if you see me taking NyQuil don’t even try to talk to me” – I definitely don’t want to deal with bureaucracy!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      ♪♫♬
      Ny and day, you are the quil
      I drink you both, to keep my soul still
      When I just don’t know what to do
      I drink of you, orange and blue
      I drink of you, ny and day
      ♪♫♬

    • BeachLoafer

      Sarah, dear, those aren’t single-serving bottles

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This Just In: Ministry of Truth orders additional Memory Hole Incinerators in anticipation of possible Roy Moore defeat.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Roy who?

    • Thiazin Red

      Although, if Moore loses does that mean Luther Strange can come back from being an unperson?

      • Raan

        Some bright slightly less dim spark at Fox will probably Comrade Ogilvy him.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Doug Jones cheated Luther Strange out of that Senate seat. I have always said so.”
        — Donald Trump

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I was recently thinking about rereading 1984 but then I thought, “Fuck! We’re in the live version, right now!”.

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        We’re in the sequel- 1984 2: Electric Boogaloo

  • Jeffery Campbell

    “You cannot say that it’s an honest mistake when you’re purposefully putting out information you know to be false.” Hello, kettle?! How is it that the Old Testament God didn’t smite her on the spot.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Because the Bible is a crock of shit?

    • Raan

      He really mellowed out once He had a kid.

    • jesterpunk

      The Huckabee clan is proof god doesnt exist. If God was real they wouldn’t get through a full sentence before being stuck repeatedly by lightening.

  • Daniel

    I think Huckabee-Sanders has the same “empathy” lots of members of her tribe do- for Platonic ideals of harassment victims who led blameless lives of Victorian fictional chasteness clad in spotless white until rogues and cads beset them in dark alleys where they had only gone to feed the suffering with soup they’d prepared themselves before being grossly sullied by the grasping hands of rough men, and so, ruined, sought the nearest bridge to hurl themselves from.

    The women accusing Trump probably weren’t like that, so she doesn’t much care- the best she can say for them is “six of one, half a dozen of the other” with a “boys will be dog murderers boys” thrown in out of charity.

    • Suttree

      *golf clap*

  • WotsAllThisThen

    So this must mean Trump has owned up to that “muslim attacks boy on crutches” video, right?

  • Snarfyguy

    SHS: “I’m not going to respond to that question.”

    Er, that is a response. You might as well just say “I’m not going to answer that question.”

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    First, I’m somewhat happy that we may always be back at war with EastGawker. May even put some shine on the ol’ trebuchet.

    Second, Pooty Lips is a decent holiday day gift name, AND CANNOT BE RETURNED! It is homemade!

    Are we crying in our diet cokes tomo re : Alabama?

    Third, I’m in the process of stuff, and things. These articles give the weary, me, the hope. Go team us.

    • What’s EastGawker? Honest question, have no idea what you’re talking about.

      • Raan

        It’s a 1984 reference. Gawker’s trying to croudfund their way out of bankruptcy, and they once tried to buy Wonkette. Eastasia and Eurasia were the other two superstates in 1984, and whichever one Oceania was at war with right then, they had always been at war with.

        • Oh, OK. Well I loved me some Gawker and really only came here as a result of its demise. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be here and I read/enjoy the shit out of Wonkette. I hope to be able to support both!

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            Oh hey I liked Gawker, too. Still wander over to see how the Jezzies are doing plus jalopnik.

          • Spurning Beer

            Wonkette started out as part of Gawker Media.

          • I love your username.

          • Spurning Beer

            I-and-I appreciate that.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        It’s also something I shout about because -and Raan has it correct about 1984.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Sarah staged that scene so it could be run on infinite loop at Fox, in case there are any doubters out there growing uneasy about the whole “Republican” business model, or thinking of not voting for Roy Moore in Alabammy tomorrow, or whatnot.

    Or in case anybody out there in the other 49 states thinks there’s anything the least little bit wrong with “Judge” Moore or “President” Donald or “Senate Majority Leader” McConnell or “What The Fuck Do You Even Call This Guy” Ryan over in the House, or any other one of those corrupt shit sacks in the Ublyudok GOP.

    There isn’t! There’s nothing wrong! They’re the good ones! The Democrats are the bad ones! And the press! It’s all lies! Fake news, faked on purpose by the real fakes! The Democrats are the real liars, just like The Blacks are the real racists!

    Now sit back, and relax, and wait for those tax cuts to trickle down on you, or Sarah’s going to have to yell at everybody again, and that makes her brain tired.

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS.

  • BadKitty904

    “Today”?

  • BeachLoafer

    How the fuck do you even rate the relative weirdness of one Sanders Press Briefing against another?

    They’re all just random points along a line from “What even are you talking about” to “Oh look, a squirrel”

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Sarah doesn’t want to discuss her personal experiences with sexual harassment because she hasn’t hasn’t had anyone hit on her. Her personality would keep any horn-dog at bay.

    • Daniel

      It’s not about sex, it’s about power. It’s not about being attracted to someone, it’s about demeaning them.

      • Jeff Ackerman

        I am much more interested in someones personality than looks. I didn’t consider the power and demeaning aspect, you are right.

    • Shan

      Um, no. That’s not how it works.

    • Thiazin Red

      As someone who is not now and has never been pretty, I can tell you it doesn’t matter.

    • Bananas Foster

      It’s actually not great to equate sexual harassment to attractiveness or genuine respectful romantic interest.

      • Jeff Ackerman

        was referring to her personality not looks.

        • Bananas Foster

          Erm, personality is part of attractiveness.

  • Thiazin Red

    I finally got around to seeing Moana, and I’ve had You’re Welcome stuck in my head all day. Lin Manuel Miranda was robbed by that La La Land crap, he should have gotten the EGOT.

  • Shan

    Sorry if this has been posted already and, no, I didn’t fact check it. I just wanted to share my first actual LOL of the day.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e0595f833c78920e60afe5bbcb24f3f3dc0e6d6eb21dc44e0f1f943e0bf5db8d.jpg

  • Zonath

    “In the newspapers there is insulting and stirring up hatred. Those irresponsible daubers!”

  • Sashineb
  • Mehmeisterjr

    The odd thing is that Sanders actually looked really uncomfortable in these moments.

    To be fair, she probably has shitload of reasons to look really uncomfortable. And I mean really uncomfortable.

    She grew up in a household where her father is the kind of guy who enthusiastically cheered and defended sister-fingering Josh Duggar, who happily jams with proud child-rapist and draft-dodging underpants pooper Ted Nugent to Cat Scratch Fever because not many chords, who released serial killers, who abets and supports dog stompers who set their victim on fire because Family Values!

    Not to forget that, if you compare the notorious family photo of years ago with her appearance today, it looks as if she was hit with the not-so-loving bancoalshovel of correction again and again and again.

    And now she is in a job for which she entirely and globally unqualified and which must call up painful memories of her past life in the seedy Huckabee familial Hell hole.

    I would feel sorry for her if she hadn’t signed on so fully to the program.

    To be fair.

    • Cat Cafe

      You know, I’m increasingly coming to see her as a victim, too. I can’t even imagine what her childhood was like. Did her father abuse her? Her brothers? How much and in what ways?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Well, as Princess Noonytoon of the WSJ Noonytoons so memorably said, “It would be irresponsible not to speculate.”

        So I chose to be irresponsible and not speculate.

        Being raised in the fetid swamp that is the Huckabee family could not have been a good start in life for her.

        OTOH, lots of people have been raised in horrible domestic situations and have risen above it.

        At a certain age, you have to take responsibility for your own actions.

        Jared Kushner, for example, might decide not to be a felon. Or Donald Trump, Jr. or even Crown Princess Lapcandy Ivanka.

        It is never too late. Unless it is too late. Is it too late for SHS?

        She must ask herself that question.

  • Anna Rompage

    I don;t know why the lame stream media cannot just get over it’s evil and wicked ways, and get their new stories from Fox & Friends, Sean Hannity, and Roger Stone…

  • Kryptonian Canis
    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Fortune Feimster is fucking funny!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Sorry not sorry, Sarah, but you knew what he was when you signed up for the job…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3312394cd11bf09593f76b7f4090e4d0aaaf031f0730c947be98798dd55d48f2.jpg

  • TJ Barke

    Donald Trump lies demonstrably every day. STFU about “fake news”!

  • PixieThis

    Every time she opens her mouth, I know irony has died a little more.

    • Shan

      It’s probably very snobby of me but I can’t STAND her accent.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        It’s not her accent that gets me, because I live in KY and accents here are similar; it’s the flattened affect in her voice, the way she monotones everything and the lack of an expression on her face. It’s like hearing a carelessly-programmed loudspeaker with a badly-made face-like mask robotically intoning things about where you can park and to watch your step on the escalator.

        • Bobathonic

          I have seen no proof that she’s human.

        • Shan

          “Mind the gap.”

        • shivaskeeper

          This. She fails at the uncanny valley test.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        It’s not the accent, it’s the sneer.

  • William

    I can no longer listen to that tablecloth wearing, gap toothed hillbilly. Has she read any letters from Pickle lately?

    • BeachLoafer

      Y’know, if Pickle was writing her material, it would explain a lot …

    • redarmyzombie

      By Pickle, do you mean Donald Trump?

      • William

        Back in the day, she read a letter she claimed was from a little girl named Pickle who was so happy she had a birthday cake that looked like a Maga hat.

        • redarmyzombie

          I remember, and I’m preeeety sure that was just Donald Trump writing in crayon…

  • TheStrayGoose

    I call her “The Lout”…is that acceptable?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    SHS is a bigfoot

  • jesterpunk

    Hey Sarah, I think you are focusing on the wrong thing, it doesnt matter if the stories are real what matters is what they are trying to say. I heard that from someone, I wonder who said that? Oh wait it was you.

    https://www.cnbc.com/2017/11/29/white-house-it-doesnt-matter-if-anti-muslim-videos-are-real-the-threat-is-real.html

    The videos were titled, “Muslim Destroys a Statue of Virgin Mary!”, “Islamist mob pushes teenage boy off roof and beats him to death!”, and “Muslim migrant beats up Dutch boy on crutches!”

    Within minutes of Trump’s retweets, numerous news outlets reported that a number of the videos’ titles were false or misleading.

    Sanders, however, told reporters that by focusing on “the nature of the video, you’re focusing on the wrong thing.”

    “The threat is real, what the president is talking about, the need for national security and military spending, those are very real things, there’s nothing fake about that,” she said.

    Sanders didn’t elaborate on exactly what “the threat” was, but Trump has long portrayed Islam as a danger to the United States.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Royal Ugly Dude

    we’re not allowed to call her an asshole no more

    Is it still OK to tell her to go fuck herself? (asking for all my friends)

    • vivian

      Correct. Asshole is sexist because only men can be them? or something

      • Resistor Radio

        I think it’s sexist to say a swear about ladies? I dunno.

        • vivian

          Yeah, women can’t have assholes, because that’s gross. They eat and it turns into flowers and kittens.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I like flowers that aren’t byproducts of digestion.

          • Resistor Radio

            I kinda like the idea of calling Sarah Huckabee “Shit Flower,” though.

          • Spurning Beer

            W favored “Turd Blossom.”

          • Resistor Radio

            When you don’t have to poop, you’ve got more time to make sammiches, like the lord intended.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        When I decided to stop using the word bitch so much, I went with asshole because it’s non-gendered. But I shouldn’t assume any logic or thought on the part of our shit-for-brains guests last week.

        • Resistor Radio

          I still use bitch as a verb, and sometimes as a adjective if I’m describing my Camero, but for slurs I think I go with asshole now, as well. Or dude.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Bitch does feel very different as a verb, and I use that to refer to both men and women too.

    • Resistor Radio

      I believe it should be mandatory.

    • jesterpunk

      Calling Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole makes the people over on Breitfart and the Daily Caller very mad. So whatever you do do not call Sarah Huckabee Sanders an asshole, just don’t say “Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an asshole” as much as you can.

      • Spurning Beer

        It’s possible that Google’s search algorithm will be affected by repetitions of the phrase that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an asshole, whether Sarah Huckabee is an asshole or not. Does Steve Bannon want Google search results to say, “Sarah Huckabee Sanders is an asshole?” Probably not.

        But then he was probably not too happy with Santorum being defined as the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.

        That asshole Sarah Huckabee Sanders probably disapproves of that, too.

  • vivian

    Everyday we allow these clowns to devastate our country is another year of hard work to restore some semblance of dignity and respect to the Offices and Institutions of these United States.

    • redtail

      Clowns make a circus and someone has to clean up the mess when the clowns move on. 🤡

      • Bobathonic

        Elephants do leave a mess.

  • weejee
  • noodle

    She’s bummed she won’t be able to find a decent job after this one.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Personally, I wouldn’t call a job where I had to sell my soul and lie profusely every single day a decent job.

  • CaliCheeseSucks
  • Marion in Savannah

    Oh. My! This performance tells me that things are getting REEEELLY tense at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

    • biologydave

      Good

    • Roadstergal

      Can’t be fuckin’ half as tense as they’ve made me.

  • Rick Prose

    Sarah Hucklebuck Panders – on her way out the door…

  • William
  • jesterpunk

    Hey Alabama don’t vote for that loser Ray or Roy Moore, not even sure what his name is which isnt a good sign.

    https://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/25/trump-mispronounce-roy-moore-ray-moore-243093

    “Luther Strange is going to be a great senator. He loves Alabama, he loves the states and he loves the country,” Trump told the radio hosts on Monday morning, according to AL.com, in what he said may have been his first radio interview as president. “He will absolutely win against the Democrat. Ray will have a hard time. If Luther wins, the Democrats will hardly fight. If Ray wins, (Democrats) will pour in $30 million.”

    Co-host Rick Burgess twice corrected Trump, who acknowledged it’s “not a good sign” when the president doesn’t know your name.

    “I don’t know that much about Roy Moore,” Trump conceded. “Roy Moore is going to have a very hard time getting elected against the Democrat. Against Luther they won’t even fight.”

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, that was back in September when he was still promoting Strange, right? I know it was in September because of the date on the story.

      • jesterpunk

        Yes it was.

      • Raan

        “Ray Moore”

        • Roadstergal

          Write-in candidate!

        • jesterpunk

          I hear Ray is a loser, Trump doesnt even know much about him so he cant be a bigly winner.

  • Ωbjectifier

    maybe she wasn’t feeling well or had just gotten some bad news. Maybe her brother killed another dog on accident or something.

    Or she was just hungover AF after a weekend tequila bender.

  • Royal Ugly Dude
  • Keith Taylor

    No! She’s right! It’s one hundred per cent true! Purposely misleading the American people IS something that happens regularly. Sarah Huckabee Sanders knows this better than anybody, too! She speaks with authority and not as the scribes and Pharisees, because purposely misleading, etcetera, is her job, as once it was Sean Spicer’s and KellyAnne Conway’s.
    She does know this and she is right! Why are you Wonkers so unfair to her?
    I wonder lately, too, as someone right here on Wonkette once speculated about Ms. Conway (might have been Evan Hurst, I don’t remember) whether Sanders struggles against the urge to swallow poison each evening when she goes home after work, or whether she’s just completely soulless.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    I would feel sorry that she’s a woman working for a known pussgrabber, but when it comes to these people the part of my brain that feels sympathy is permanently out of order.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve developed a very hard, bitter side that I’m not proud of.

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        Me, I’m shinin’ mine up for the next State Fair.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Courser_Resistance

      I was haunted by ‘Permanent Record’ for far longer than I should have.

  • redtail

    Sarah the interpreter. Factual questions go in and shit comes out.

  • Anna Rompage

    OMG, the look on Sarah’s face is like she just found out that us jews are really god’s chosen ones, realized that she’s not jewish, and that jeebus was a fraud, much like Jimmy Swaggart

    • shivaskeeper

      Come on man, you know according to her religion you are a bunch of Christ-killers who will burn with the rest of us. All you have to do is get the Temple rebuilt to usher in the End Times.

      • Spurning Beer

        Temple = Trump Tower Jerusalem

  • fawkedifiknow

    You normally can’t blame a person for her relatives, but Mike and Sarah Huckabee Sanders? There’s always an exception to every rule.

    • The pecan doesn’t fall far from the tree…

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/theological-scholar-explains-horrifying-reason-trumps-supporters-celebrated-armageddon-in-pensacola/ a deeply distrubing article on why the Evagelicals are cheering about Jerusalem. It confirms my belief that a lot of Trump voters voted for Trump because they want him to end the world.

    • Anna Rompage

      Thank god, does that mean they’re going to disappear soon, and leave the rest of the the hell alone?

      • Jesus: Oh, no, you’re not going. I don’t know you crazy assholes at all!
        Rest of world :NO WAI DUDE, NO TAKE BACKS

      • Christopher Story

        I’ll bring the cigarettes if you’ll bring the lube. Finally, some good old fashioned debauchery without all the judgemental condescension.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          PARRRR-TAY!!!!

      • shivaskeeper

        They will try to take us all with them on the way out. They are a death cult.

        • Institute For Applied Despair

          Not at all like ISIS.

          • shivaskeeper

            No. They are not. They lack to moral conviction to actually die for their cause.

    • Told folk this after the fam reunion right before the election. I gots some born again relations and half of them wanted Trump to win because he was god appointed, and the other half because he was the God Appointed Anti Christ and it was their duty to support God’s plan

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Trying to wrap my mind around the rationale of that latter part is giving me a headache!

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      As a Jew, I knew all about this for many years.

      • shivaskeeper

        As someone who follows the Religious Right to fight their fuckery, I too have known about this for years.

        • old_redneck

          As a 73-year-old who was born and reared in Mississippi in the Southern Baptist church, I’ve known about this bullshit for 70 years.

          • shivaskeeper

            Got me beat.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          You gotta be especially careful with these assclowns, they know how to hide a lot of their vile assholery behind aww-shucks folksiness. Antisemitism included.

          • shivaskeeper

            I know. Judeo-Christian is the word they use to try to deflect it. To give it some cover.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Some stupid or amoral Jews fall for it. Sad. Weak.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      End the world, or paint the house? Decisions, decisions.

  • Still a debased mother fucking redneck.
    But now a debased mother fucking redneck with some empathy.

    • shivaskeeper

      Proof of empathy? It could have been a mild case of food poisoning or a stomach virus from improperly prepared possum stew.

      • wait! what?

        She has Poombah syndrome: it’s always gas…

  • Juan de Fuca

    You cannot say that it’s an honest mistake when you’re purposefully putting out information you know to be false. Or when you’re taking information that hasn’t been validated, that hasn’t been offered any credibility or that has been continually denied by a number of people, including people with direct knowledge of an instance!

    Did she think she was playing some new game called “Describe your boss in two sentences”?

  • memzilla Ω

    Okay, Wonkeratti. I want you all to remember that, if you start to get depressed about our country, there is a Sealed Indictment “A” still sitting in a DC courtroom.

    • William

      That news gives me a tingly feeling in my no-no parts.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Thank you, Mem. I had forgotten that!

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Like that present under the tree that you keep shaking but just can’t figure out what’s in it!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Cookie crumbs keep falling out, so I’m guessing it’s the Keebler Elf.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The Sally Yates-related obstruction indictment, maybe?

  • JD Mulvey

    The spirit of Wonkette has apparently inhabited the body of Wapo’s Paul Waldman, who let fly with this truth bomb today:
    “The Treasury Department just put out a one-page ‘analysis’ claiming that the tax bill will pay for itself, because abracadabra growth unicorn faerie magic. It’s as if they’re not even trying to convince us they aren’t lying.”

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/wp/2017/12/11/how-did-republicans-make-their-tax-bill-so-darn-unpopular/

  • I’m looking forward to the upcoming buddy movie, “Poot Lips and Bone Spurs”.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      It’s a Western about a Saloon run by a Madame named Poot Lips, and a old nasty cowpoke named Bone Spurs..

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        They take over a podunk town in their effort to capitalize on cow farts.

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          Maralago, Mexico. Dusty desert place where the only law is at the end of a six shooter.

      • Bette Midler plays Poot Lips, and Andy Devine plays Bone Spurs…

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          And the sheriff needs no badges.

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        Who rides backwards on a giant hog that hates him.

    • wait! what?

      It’s like “Thelma and Louise” but they go off a cliff in the first scene followed by 2 hours of credits.

      • Or followed by two hours of “Cliff? Cliff? Not a cliff! You’re a cliff!!”

  • Eric Miklasevics

    Poot lips, a.k.a. Veruca Salty

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • jesuswasablack

    In honor of our first snowfall here in Chicago land!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv2FqieK7YY

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, jhca.

    How do you come out the other side of Gamergate still trying to be a cool girl.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d106a8ee68e716ac119408f863a080b2380d9948684d3ad00e559bedcda80989.png

    • ariel_gee_398

      Matt Taibbi never should have started that misinformation campaign against himself by admitting to being a shitty human in a book he wrote.

    • jowgajen

      So, the best look on this is that his name is on a “satirical” “semi-autobiographical” book co-written with another, even douchier, guy that has some really disgusting accounts of how they treated women and girls while editing a paper in Russia. But of course those are the parts that are fiction, of course. Also they were fully grown adults at the time by anyone’s definition.

      Yeah, still not a good look. In fact, still a completely revolting look.

      https://jezebel.com/writers-matt-taibbi-and-mark-ames-serviced-no-one-but-t-1820007051

      • Carpe Vagenda

        and of course he’s the voice of the WWV based on his being the son of a television celebrity who went from his boarding school to one of the most expensive douche hippie colleges in the country.

  • Alice Peal

    Only reason I watched Huckleberry today…I was too lazy to turn her off. But sooooo glad I saw this one.

  • Smoke O’Hontas

    OT: I had what was probably the toughest day of my life today. Relates to very shitty gaslight in babby daddy and gaslighted teen. Motions were involved. Please send fuzzy things. I’m brokenhearted.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Am I the only person who’s starting to associate people who wear pearl necklaces with people who will look you right in the face and lie their ass off?

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    I wonder, has any big corp or entertainer said they will boycott Alabama if they elect this schmuck?

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Who the fuck would go there in the first place?

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        Best motorcycle museum in the country just outside Huntsville..

        • Andre

          And the track is A-fucking-mazing. Wish Moto GP could do a race there

          • Jeffocaster in the East

            Yep, it would be awesome….

    • Mary Theresa

      DO they have any there? I think there would be a shortage of skilled labor.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Purposely misleading America” pretty much sums up this entire loathsome, bottom feeding administration. Hypocrite indeed. The lies from her boss and the untruths out of her forever foul mouth are astounding.

    Whatta’ slimy, scummy piece of work Hildebeast Huckabee is.

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      Gaslighter in Chief, she is.

    • Slamtundra

      Yeah, it makes me absolutely sick to hear these fuckers say shit like that. I mean, how can you live with yourselves you bunch of lying crooks?

      • Nasty Girl Brianna

        I think they honestly believe their own lies and wonder why the rest of us don’t.

  • Institute For Applied Despair

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dfb86b32e83c35c5c228c977226b11353b65fb9ba6197494b6729f3965074d5c.jpg

    I predict that as her tenure, and the demands of her tenure, drag on that the thick application of eye makeup she sports in a fruitless attempt to distance herself from the endless prevaricative nature of her job and her boss will eventually result in a total blackening of the eye area, as shown above.

  • jesuswasablack
    • Zach Williams

      I hear if you order that in Russian, drunken gopniks will sing Moskau for you.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YEJkQ9jVE8

    • Monty Market

      Washed down with two six packs of diet coke: bad going down, worser yet causing tweetstorm at 3AM.

      • jowgajen

        Now we know why he spends so much time on the toilet tweeting.

  • bumfug

    I hope the White House press corps nurtures those little ball-nubs they’re starting to grow.The bigger they get, the more Sarah Huckabee Sanders loses her already shaky shit and that’s always a treat to watch!

  • old_redneck

    I watched today’s press conference. The White House reporters appear to finally becoming fed up with being treated to a torrent of lies and distortions. I’m hoping they continue to pile on and pile on and beat the shit out of Sarah Hickabee every day.

    • Nounverb911

      Has Huckadaddy mean tweeted that all the fake media types are being mean to his little Huckaliar yet?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Maybe he can post a video of muslims beating her up while she’s on crutches.

      • NellCote71

        “Little?”

      • schmannity

        Heat. Kitchen. FU, Huckadingleberry.

      • schmannity

        False witness. Have you heard of it, Precher Huckabee?

    • BadKitty904

      They’re responsible, to a large degree, for the steady shower of shit they get from TurmpCo at these farces. They should’ve stomped on this nonsense long ago, as they would’ve with any other President.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Took em long enough, and I have no faith that they will stick to it.

        • BadKitty904

          They haven’t even begun to start the job they need to be doing – calling the White House on every single spoonful of their shit.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        I keep screaming, “Do your fucking job!”.

        • BadKitty904

          IKR? “Why the fuck do you people think you’re sitting there? To take dictation?”

      • Criminy, Obama said a number wronged once and they called him out at the very moment.
        Forget what it was, something stupid and small. And he went yes, meant that, moving along all cool.
        Smug journo smugged about it for weeks

        • schmannity

          57 states

  • Bill D. Burger

    I’m only surprised she didn’t launch into a story about or read a letter from a little Alabammy girl named Gerkin’ who wrote The Fucking Moron to tell him how she trusted Roy Moore and him more than any other two men on earth. PERIOD.

    • BadKitty904

      That’s tomorrow.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      To which Roy Moore replied “Period? Ew, no thank you.”

      (I’m sorry, I just grossed myself out there)

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I would wish her into the hell she deserves except that I’m pretty sure it would be like throwing Brer Rabbit into the briar patch. She’s been there, done that already. (Apologies for bringing up Dogwhistles of the Racist South stories.

  • Jeffocaster in the East
  • Juan de Fuca

    Say, you know else tried to manipulate the media?

    • Every Republican POL since say 60 something?

    • Bad Scooter

      organized troll farms funded by Friends of The Donald?

    • Nounverb911

      MGM Studios during the 30’s

    • Andre

      Every potter ever. Ohhhh, not that kind of media.
      OT: Hope you and the family are safe from the fires, and that your daughter has rethought the squid marriage. (I was Major_Major_Major until I got so disgusted a week or so ago I deleted all of my accounts, then rethought it as my wife was ready to kill me for having to listen to my politic ranting

      • Nounverb911

        Can we promote you to Lt Colonel then?

        • jowgajen

          Should go full bird, bc Colonel Colonel Colonel sounds better.

          • Andre

            Hahaha,yep.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I was wondering who this new kid “Andre” was ;) Yeah, it’s all good, man. I said my peace and she’s as strong willed as I am, as I raised her to be, so now it’s sit back and support time. They’ll be here next weekend. She is going on to finish her degree though.

        So win, win. And welcome back!

        • Andre

          That’s the scary/awesome part with kiddos. My oldest has finally decided that the Marines aren’t for him and that he can go to school away from his GF for a year, but….if he changes his mind than there is nothing we can do to change it back.

          • Juan de Fuca

            It is indeed man. You raise them to be strong, independent thinkers and then when they come out of left-field with their own path in life, you’re like – HOLD UP!

            It’s hard to except but as long you make sure they’ve done due diligence and really believe in it – gotta let ’em grow and make their own decisions. Or something. I dunno.

            They definitely don’t come with manuals.

          • I just take away their video games. Solves most issues right now

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Welcome back. Thanks for letting us know.

      • Suttree
      • Andre the M3?
        Like it!

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Maybe you should call yourself Major Andre until we get used to it?

        • Andre

          That’s reasonable

    • memzilla Ω

      Hedda Hopper?

    • WomanInThePersistence
      • Beelzebubba

        Is he an Eirbruch artist?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      George Soros?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Himmler?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading off for now on this note (I would not be at all surprised if this really happened):

    https://twitter.com/RogueSNRadvisor/status/940294572554403844

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Shan

      What is that?

      • Beelzebubba

        Aw, you’re adorable!

        • Suttree

          I know right! It’s like she never fell asleep on the train.

      • Bad Scooter

        i think it’s marshmallow fluff

      • OutOfOrbit

        She tokin cool whip

      • SisterArtemis

        I’m just a simple dope smoker. I don’t understand either.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Looks like a snail to me.

          • SisterArtemis

            Get away from that snail, Sarah Sanders!

      • shivaskeeper

        Crack pipe?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Is that a gun-shaped lighter? Adorbs.
      /s

      • Hemp Dogbane

        Ray/Roy Moore: “Hey, where’s my gun?”

    • Christopher Story

      Ahh, memories.

  • Beelzebubba
  • Bill D. Burger

    She’s just ‘unpleasant’….inside and out.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DQzPlt1U8AA8s6Y.jpg

  • jesuswasablack
    • TootsStansbury

      This is a great thing.

      • jesuswasablack

        I know, Right!

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      This is hilarious, disgusting and disturbing all at the same time every time I see it.

  • TootsStansbury

    Empathy. That little thing that makes you evolve. The right doesn’t have any.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Picabo
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Uhhh…Mueller’s gotten 4 indictments against the Trump organized crime family in less than one year in power. You know who had zero indictments? Barack Obama, and also, too, Hillary Clinton.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Nounverb911

      John Banner libelz!

      • Bill D. Burger

        I felt a bit guilty to insult even the character ‘Sgt. Schultz’

      • WIDTAP

        Sometimes a Jewish fellow escaping the Third Reich can make a very funny Nazi.

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        Sargent Schultz libelz.

    • jesuswasablack

      That’s the greatest fucking thing I’ve seen in a while!

    • ManchuCandidate
    • HooverVilles

      Ah, the Sargent Schultz defense.

  • OrG

    Someone should ask her about dog murderers.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Ask if she ever participated

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I’m very much having to self-censor these days.

  • Shan

    So I started therapy again today after several years of not going. I told her that I decided on a new therapist because at my last session with the old one, he inappropriately brought up politics. That tne politics talk was bad enough, but his politics ALSO sucked, so I thought I’d start fresh. I didn’t tell her it was because he was an Islamophobe and I was offended that he assumed I would be as well. Because we’re both white? Who knows. I didn’t want to find out.

    Since it was basically an intake session, the new one asked some standard questions. One of them was whether I’d ever experienced any sort of trauma that I felt was contributing to the reasons I was seeking therapy (depression, panic attacks, etc.). I told her “not really, just the usual things girls and women go through most places in life, on the streets, at work.”

    We were both pretty horrified that we considered these things to be “normal” for us. I even included getting molested at four years old. I just don’t feel like that’s really part of why I’m going.

    Anyway, I really like her. We only had an hour but it felt like 3 or 4 because I (uncharacteristicly) got a lot of important words out, all in a row. I’m going back to see her next week even though I have to pay out of pocket for a while. I think it will be worth it.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I hear you. Mine was horrified by how my mom had fallen short but threatened to let my husband know what I said to him in confidence because I wouldn’t have the extra babies he decided would solve all our problems.

      He’s not actually the worst therapist I’ve ever had.

      • Shan

        Wait, your THERAPIST threatened to tell your husband that?!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yeah. It didn’t end well.

          • Shan

            I hope there were some serious repercussions for that therapist. That’s appalling.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Nah. He’s dead.

          • Margaret Lamont

            Did he die of poor decision making ?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Not that I know of. I do know that his family sold the family home really quickly afterwards.

          • Margaret Lamont

            You know it’s a gruesome death then.

          • generalleeme

            Don’t most of us eventually die from poor decision making? Some faster and some slower.

          • Margaret Lamont

            Can’t touch that one, it’s too generalised.
            Since immortality isn’t a thing yet, I’ll answer that Humans degenerate, natural causes, accidents, genetics, homicide , and suicide.

          • Beelzebubba

            Who shot him?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I feel the need to emphasize that it wasn’t me

          • Shan

            Thinking about it doesn’t count. Legally.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            For a minute there I thought you were going to tell us about that time you shot a therapist in Reno, just to watch him die. I was a little titillated.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Sorry :(

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            That’s OK. Although you would be the most badass Wonkette poster if I found out you were writing from jail!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Wait a minute…how did you know he was shot, when none of us mentioned how he died?????

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            That is SUPER illegal.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Grounds for loss of license

      • Resistor Radio

        That is not okay, seriously, not okay.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          No, it’s not.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        W. T. F. ??????????????????????

      • OrG

        That sounds like malpractice.

      • Margaret Lamont

        But he’s up there.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        A therapist was going to share what you told him confidentially…with your HUSBAND? He wasn’t a Baptist preacher therapist per chance, was he? I hope you reported him to your state board.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          No, he was an orthodox jewish inerrantist.

      • SDGeoff3

        Oof

    • BadKitty904

      Good job, Shan. A very good job, indeed. You’re an example to us all!

      A Special Kitty-Hug for you:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7e3ef0e78dbb62465ee1354cc486d7af817956832e5a45c0b2825d66d2b834c0.gif

      • Shan

        Aww! That’s how she made me feel. Except no touching.

        I might cry later. It takes me a while to work up to these things.

        • BadKitty904

          It’ll happen when it happens. You’re not on a time-table.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            Guys, what am I going to do with all these onions?

          • Shan

            Roast them in some olive oil and herbs until they start to get a little crispy.

          • Sarah Smith

            Oooh, I haven’t tried that. It sounds good.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Make onionade?

          • Shan

            That’s…horrifying.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I know, but I do like pulling Cousin Itt’s tale, so I couldn’t resist.

          • Edna

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            fb483d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlinePartyEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fb483lhh

          • Heather

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            fv383d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineMartEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fv383lhhhh

          • Jeffery Campbell

            You serve to the enemies you vanquish and then you drink their delicious tears.

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish
          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            O, hell yes.

        • HooverVilles

          I second Cousin Itt un Mondialiste below.

      • HooverVilles

        Super NICE!!
        Purrrrrfect
        >^o.o^<

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        I think that’s Opie. He has vids on Youtube.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      That sounds really positive, Shan!

    • Resistor Radio

      Having a good rapport with your therapist is everything, really. I’m glad you found you feel comfortable with.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I know shopping for therapists can be a strain unto itself even without the odd politics thing. I will always remember the psychiatrist that helped me back in to my life 18 years ago. It’s good to hear you’re taking care of yourself. Mazel Tov.

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good.

      Not about what you consider “normal” abuse and harassment of course, but in finding a therapist you think you can work with.

      • Shan

        I REALLY wanted to tell her about the other therapist at her practice who my daughter used to see until we switched. The previous one seemed a bit….chilly? I don’t know. I don’t expect effusive warmth (or even like it always, because BOUNDARIES) but she just didn’t click for us.

        After the new therapist told my daughter, in session, that her colleague had called her (the new therapist) a “godless whore” I kind of realized why it wasn’t really working. I’m especially glad my daughter is with the new one because her profile on the website says she specializes in (among other things) LGBTQ issues. Notably, the old one doesn’t.

        • shivaskeeper

          Also very good.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          You say “godless whore” like it’s a bad thing. It’s kind of been my mantra for the past 57 years.

          • Shan

            Right? I’m glad my daughter’s not with a therapist who is that blatantly judgmental. I could deal with it myself but my little baby-ghey daughter doesn’t need that shit.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            One of the job descriptions for a therapist should be “not judgemental.” Also, too, “NOT someone who threatens to tell your husband shit you said in confidence.”

          • Shan

            Yeah. New therapist went through HIPPA rules and confidentiality stuff, including mandatory reporting rules (suspecting client may harm selfnor others). I also signed papers saying they can release info ONLY to my GP. And I could have refused that as well.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Sounds like you found an ethical therapist this go round. It’s nice to know there are still good, competent people out there.

          • Shan

            She’s newly accredited and seems very young. But, yes, very competent. She made me ask myself some questions.

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      Excellent.
      Me, I do talk to my therapist about politics, after I bring it up, because the Apricot Autocrat is a major f’ing trigger for my depression.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Absolutely! The outrage and feeling of helplessness that you can’t do anything about it is a huge trigger!

      • Shan

        Yes. I’m trying to find a way to talk to mine about how my usually low-grade but live-with-able depression cranked up to eleven after the election. I hope I haven’t scuppered that conversation already.

        • Empress of the Iguana People

          hugs. Hopefully not. In our liberal area, there were fairly good odds mine’d be on the liberal end of the spectrum. I’m also 95% sure my kids’ ped does not like him either. Highly educated woman of color rarely do.

          • Shan

            Even though my state is really red, the county (and city) I live in is frequently blue.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      For obvious reasons my walking back into a therapist’s office was the best thing I ever did.

      And finding one you can love and trust is no small feat. Congrats!

      • Shan

        I was encouraged that many of the profiles for the associates listed LGBTQ as a focus, and the main partner lists gender identity issues as well. I just hope it’s in the healthy direction, not the “let’s get you back to what I think is normal” way. I think I might ask next time, since I know lots of folks who could benefit from LGBTQ-friendly therapists.

    • Beelzebubba

      Good move. When your therapist is fucked up, there’s a fair chance that you’re wasting your time and money.

    • Spurning Beer

      I’m a retired psychologist. Overall, I think women therapists tend to be better. And I think being in therapy is hard, if you’re doing it right. Good luck!

      • Shan

        I was very nervous at first. I’m not good at talking about my feelings. Thoughts, yes. I can do ideas for hours.

        That’s kind of why I’m going. So.

    • HooverVilles

      Best of wishes to you. I’m glad you got away from a bad situation and hopefully found a new good one.

      • Shan

        The crap one was, like, 8 years ago. I should have taken today’s step a long time ago, though.

    • Alan

      I was finally okay when I decided never to seek professional help again.

      • Shan

        Why?

        • Alan

          Not sure if you’re asking why I decided that or why I’m okay.

          • Shan

            Either, I guess? Whichever you’re more comfortable with. Or neither, if you don’t want to say. That’s fine, too.

          • Alan

            Hard to explain and what works for one person doesn’t work for the next. I found therapy to be a constant reminder, sort of a carousel of reinforcement. It was a psychiatrist who told me that 90% of his patients didn’t really need him, only the truly psychotic or schizophrenic ones who need medication really needed him. He told me that the only reason depressed people needed him was because they liked the diagnosis and the reassurance that there is something wrong with them. He taught me mindfulness then sent me away and it has worked wonders for me. Yes, I still get depressed but I know what it feels like, I know it happens, and I’ve learned to deal with it and accept it.

          • Shan

            I understand that. When I went before, I went for specific reasons, not for a diagnosis. I got specific cognitive behavioral tools to use as coping mechanisms that served me for years. But for whatever reason, they’re not working now. So back I went.

      • Bananas Foster

        (I hate therapy — for myself — don’t tell anyone. Bad for my professional reputation.)

    • aureolaborealis

      I once had the pleasure of watching a shitty therapist I had stopped seeing get publicly dumped by his girlfriend. She drove up onto the sidewalk of one of the high-end apartment buildings on Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia and threw him out of her car, all the while heaping very loud and heart-felt contumely upon him, his ancestors and his descendants. It was a good day.

      • Shan

        Whew!

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I might go back to therapy at some point, but since the last guy was trying to straighten shit out between mee and my mother (something I no longer consider a valid goal) I will definitely need to redefine priorities.

      • Shan

        I was really happy that my new one recognized that I like goals and plans and systems and organization. She seems rely willing to help me with that. It feels good to have someone who feels like an ally.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Yea I’m the same way.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Something I did once for a therapist intake session: I typed out beforehand my personal history and all the background stuff that I knew would come up, and just handed it to her to read. A lot faster than running through that shit all over again like I did for previous therapists.

    • SDGeoff3

      Good for you. And sincere hugs and hopes for you, too. Finding the right therapist is as important as your decision to seek her.

    • Lord Jim

      It’s great to hear that you are already having success with your new therapist. I hope that continues. Grace and peace to you.

  • jesuswasablack

    This is what constant lying does to persons soul, can you imagine what she will feel like after three more years?
    https://bluestatedaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/fe771625d0b90da1466242bc5933e040.png

    • jaspersdad

      This is what chewing tobacco looks like.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Considering who her father is, I question whether she ever had a soul to begin with. Or if she did, it was extinguished a long, long time ago.

      • jesuswasablack

        Right, given her upbringing I’d like to feel some empathy for her, but she has chosen to get in bed with the scum of the earth, she is doomed and I’ll enjoy watching her fall!

        • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

          Since I’m a pagan and doomed to hell anyway, I’m looking forward to watching this entire administration burn in hell right next to me.

          If possible, I’ll post it on the YouTubes.

          • jesuswasablack

            free wifi in hell!

          • Bananas Foster

            Hell is net neutral evil.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            YouTube lies from the pits of hell.

    • BadKitty904

      Two words: More. Fiber.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      They may end up using her on one of those “Faces of Meth” websites.

  • Manhattan123

    Maybe they finally installed a mirror in her office, explaining the bad mood.

  • OrG

    Former Oregon Speaker of the House and Portland Mayor, Vera Katz passed away today. Fuck cancer.

    • Zach Williams

      Shit like that is why I donate to the Prevent Cancer Foundation every January.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yeah. She was an amazing person.

      “Katz became involved in politics in the late 1960s while working on the presidential campaign of Robert F. Kennedy.[2] Kennedy had antagonized many in Portland through his aggressive pursuit of local corruption as United States Attorney General.[4] Katz moved on to support the nationwide grape boycott organized in the late 1960s by Cesar Chavez to support migrant agricultural workers.[4] She then protested and picketed the City Club of Portland over their male-only membership requirement in the early 1970s, leading to the end of the practice by the private club”

      • OrG

        Sounds like she was shrill./s

  • MsYellowDog

    No way I could stand 42 minutes of her.I have to rely on Wonkette’s reporting of what happened,which I know to be both truthful and clever.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Also strikingly handsome.

  • BadKitty904
    • Timothy Watson

      +1 for Le Parkour Santa!

      Maybe the Assassins can recruit him?

      • WIDTAP

        “Rudolph! Get back here with my fucking sleigh!”

      • BadKitty904

        Santa don’t play.

      • Nockular cavity

        Ain’t no hiding from Ninja Santa, bad kids!

  • memzilla Ω

    Every time Poot Lips accuses the media of lying, I am reminded of the groundbreaking Supreme Court decision in Smelt It v. Dealt It.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Really? I thought the precedent was Rubber v. Glue.

    • Raan

      Oh yeah, wasn’t that cited as precedent during Denied It v. Supplied It?

  • jesuswasablack
  • Me not sure

    The speaks from “the bullying pulpit.”

  • Raan

    You know what, I can’t think of an excuse other than the open thread. Here’s Danny and Ross making burgers for ten minutes, something they felt they had to film a pre-video apology for.

    https://youtu.be/FIMOQfgaVVM

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Somewhere in St. Petersburg . . .
    Ivan: Yuri what is means POOT LIPS?
    Yuri: POOT LIPS? Which site are you to be monitoring?
    Ivan: Wonkette Little Mother Recipe Blog.
    Yuri: Idiot, boss say site is no comprehensible. Go to surf the Daily Kos.

    • Institute For Applied Despair

      Savage burn. I like it.

    • shivaskeeper

      Is Daily Kos that comprehensible? I haven’t been there since the meltdowns during the primaries.

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        Ehhhh….semicomprehensible. I keep thinking Mister Kos is in a rubber room somewhere, wearing a tricorn and cutting out paper dolls.

    • Raan

      Somewhere in the other St. Petersburg…

      *exhaling heavily*
      “Hey guys! I can see my breath!”

    • SisterArtemis

      “Wonkette Little Mother Recipe Blog” is a keeper

    • Nockular cavity

      Yuri: Tell those people to go back to selling knives or something.
      Ivan: Is Russian idiom. Will that translate to Amerikinskis at all?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        “Ivan is A Russian Idiot.”

        Are you putin that in your algorithm?

    • Perkniticky

      The Russians are famous for their incomprehensible insults. Poot lips is nothing. (Actually, it’s much more subtle than the smut Russians go in for.)

    • We are should be more on the comprehensible for friends who are from Russia.
      Therefore,
      Broki Pooty nosyat oblegaooschee nechnee bele

      • Institute For Applied Despair

        Why not do you be happy as the translator of the sentence of you?

        • True fact: Russians can and will stick words all over the place as the whim dictates and thus renders on of translate of google very on the side that is weird

  • Suttree

    Dammit! I’m supposed to be doing important things but I keep getting lost. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5cd69614665dfcbf5a380f46fedad867386f66508b751a68211c6d046f604238.jpg

  • The Wanderer

    Didn’t her Daddy get all chummy with the Duggars? If so, the answer to the question of whether she was sexually harassed was probably “Yes.”

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Why is there even such a thing as a press briefing from this WH anymore? Everyone knows all they’re going to do is lie and fluff Dolt 45. If I were an editor or news director I wouldn’t send anyone to cover it. Just wouldn’t. And I’d run columns in 80-point type that basically said something like “We didn’t bother to cover the circus of lies again today. If you’re into that kind of thing, there’s probably a recap at Faux Snooze or Blightfart.”

    • SisterArtemis

      I was looking over some old stuff I wrote in the last year, and it so happens I had opined on that one, and thought – and still think – they should send interns, not professionals. It is news, just not reliable or terribly important news, when the press room speaketh.

      So interns: Take notes, ask questions scripted by more experienced journalists, but don’t waste the time, or the talent, of serious reporters on these nothing-burgers. Well, the briefings are not total nothing burgers, cuz look how much gaping-mouth syndrome we get out of them?

    • Equs_1776

      We’re getting close to rerun time: In Viet Nam they called the daily press briefing the ‘5 oclock follies’ .

  • A post by Evan about Huckabee-Sanders… did that JohnnyH guy come back to say that he was going to ‘bring his toys’ and go ‘one on one in the hole’ with Evan?

    Come back, JohnnyH, your grifty, shifty southern belle’s honor has been impugned, and we need more of your hilariously homoerotic threats for our snarky delight.

    • It was VERY homoerotic.
      I was all…he wants to put what in Evan’s hole? WHUT?

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        And this is not a threat…

      • “I’m gonna stab him repeatedly in the butthole… DAMN, I just had these jeans laundered!”

      • Blanche de Shambles

        More projection than Mercator.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        What, what in the butt, butt.

    • Juan de Fuca

      And P.S. That wasn’t a joke.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    She hasn’t had as much practice with the sexual harassment propaganda, but was way more comfortable with the attack the media propaganda. Also, my husband tried to play a clip of this and I had to yell at him that he was going to give me a brain aneurism. I do not want to hear her, any more than I want to hear her dotard boss.

  • TootsStansbury

    The only place the GOP belongs is on trial before the world court for crimes against humanity (all the fuckers from admin W).

    On trial for conspiring against humanity for ignoring and exacerbating the climate crisis. Stealing and laundering money in order to funnel money from everyone to the grossly wealthy.

    Prison, motherfuckers. You’ve robbed the population of Earth to satisfy your gross needs. Fuck. You.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      It would not surprise me if, a thousand years from now, future historians will consider us biospheric criminals but as historians, will allow for the historian’s fallacy. Which, if we look back to the future, makes our present intentions ironically, all the more heinous.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Humans still living a thousand years from now. Ha ha ha, you crazy optimist!

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Dennis: I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

      • SisterArtemis

        This is addressed in Ursula K. LeGuin’s “Always Coming Home.” The people of her future called the people of our time “backwards headed people.” They are unable to fathom our decisions to pollute the land, nor many of our ways of living.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          I haven’t read that. Thank you.

          • SisterArtemis

            It’s a weird one. There is a novel in it, split up into three sections, but it’s sort of like thumbing through an anthropologists notebook. I love it.

  • calliecallie

    Question: Is it he killed a dog on accident, or he killed a dog by accident?

    I have noticed both usages, and I’m wondering if it’s a regional thing. Growing up on the east coast, we said by, but here in the midwest I notice people say on. Memphis is kind of like the midwest, right?

    • Lady4real

      Like standing on-line. East Coast says standing in-line.

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        Again, midwest and in-line for me.

        • Royal Ugly Dude

          What, no one says queuing anymore?

          • Every day, when I wait for the bus that brings me to you

          • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

            I got in an online argument about queue vs. cue a while back. I even provided context and definition for the usage of queue and the idiot continued to argue with me about the meaning and usage of the word.

            Needless to say, I was arguing with a wingnut. I don’t even understand why I wasted my time to this very day.

          • Snork Maiden

            I do. But I am a Brit and we are queuing champions.

      • Resistor Radio

        I just wrote this, West and Midwest say in line, I thought on line was east coast. It’s jarring when I hear “on line,” though.

      • Arolpin

        On-line is a VERY NYC usage. I don’t know about the rest of the East Coast, but you get weird looks if you say ‘in-line’ and you’re not talking about RollerBlades in NYC.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      by

      it’s by

    • Crank Tango

      By!!!!

    • “On accident” is just incorrect English.

    • Michael R

      You don’t seem concerned about the dog either way .

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        This was a major takeaway from the hypothetical example.

      • topless exclamation

        it’s dead now, so….

    • topless exclamation

      by accident.

    • Wonky McUbtrye

      I think “on accident” and “on line” are British?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Calumny!

        “On accident” is a vile colonial corruption.

      • Snork Maiden

        That is how I say it and I am a Brit

      • Arolpin

        I grew up with ‘in line’, but 23 years living either in NYC or nearby suburbs have finally broken me to the point that I think ‘on line’ makes more sense. I say soda, but I knew the correct word is pop, it’s just not worth the weird looks when I say it anymore.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      I say by and I’m in the midwest. Just sayin’

      • IrishGrudge

        When I moved from Georgia to California I noticed people saying “on accident.” Truly bizarre!

    • OrG

      I thought it was on purpose.

    • Juan de Fuca

      In her brother’s situation, the correct usage is, he killed a dog by hanging it from a tree.

      • Suttree

        Thank you for answering the question properly. We got lost.

      • Treg Brown

        I know you meant to say it, but he tortured the dog before killing it by hanging. They are a family of cunts.

        • Juan de Fuca

          That’s true. By throwing rocks at it and such, right? They are indeed, Treg.

          • Treg Brown

            Can’t even imagine the mental illness that runs through that entire family. Who does that to a helpless animal?

          • jowgajen

            A sociopath.

      • Arolpin

        I saw ‘by accident’, and I live in NJ, but I grew up in Idaho, and that regional dialect thing in the NY Times a couple years ago always picked Boise first and then Spokane/Portland/Seattle/Eugene in some order for 2nd and 3rd choices, so I’m pretty much the archetype of the Intermountain West accent.
        (In other words, I enunciate perfectly, everyone else has an accent.)

    • Suttree

      By accident=east coast On accident=south

      • TJ Barke

        Seems to me that “On accident” is what we say out west, also.

        • Suttree

          Thanks! I do not have that knowledge.

          • Suttree

            Like literally. I have never been west of Lubbock.

          • Tetman Callis

            It gets even drier for a spell, then you reach ocean.

          • Suttree

            I had family there. As a kid it looked like a nuclear bomb range. I had never seen entire neighborhoods with shade 12 tint on all windows of their cars.

      • I meant to do that=west

        • Suttree

          Hehe! Sure…….

      • Catstro

        We say by accident in NC. That, or “see, what had happened was…”

        • Suttree

          Hehe. Sorry, but I don’t know that much about North Kakalaka I lived in Louisiana.

          • Catstro

            My friends from Louisiana don’t consider NC to be “The South”, so there is that

    • Barnaby_Rudge

      Accidentally is a good word, as in “he killed a dog accidentally”.

    • Dr. Jo

      In the St Louis area, we always said “by accident.”

    • Resistor Radio

      I don’t understand people who say they “wait on line” instead of “wait in line.” I known it’s regional, but I’m not sure which, East Coast maybe?

  • topless exclamation

    Glad to hear “the president has successfully rallied the world behind [the] cause” of defeating ISIS. One can only imagine how bad things would be without TRUMP in the White House.

  • Zach Williams

    Mentioned down below that I donate to the Prevent Cancer Foundation every January, and since cancer just killed Vera Katz, here’s a PSA about how to fight cancer and have some fun doing it!

    This next January from Jan. 7th – Jan. 14th, Awesome Games Done Quick will be held in Herndon, VA.
    Games Done Quick is a seven-day speedrunning marathon benefiting the Prevent Cancer Foundation.

    What is speedrunning, you may ask? As the name may imply, speedrunning is a type of challenge where you complete a video game as fast as physically possible using whatever methods are needed. There’s various categories to it, like Any% (Just get to the credits), 100% (Pick up everything in the game), Low% (Some collectibles but similar to any%)

    Either way, this is a great, fun little charity and I encourage ya’ll to donate during it. I’ll personally be donating during the speedrun of Half-Life: Opposing Force.
    If that’s not your cup of tea, TheYetee sells some sweet apparel and gives the profits to PCF and Humble Bundle will be selling games for cheap and sending the cash monies to the PCF.

    EITHER WAY PLEASE DONATE NEXT MONTH IT’LL HELP EARLY DETECTION EFFORTS AND IT’LL MAKE JOE BIDEN HAPPY.

    Oh, and here’s some stats on how much money AGDQ raises for PCF!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c619743bee4890524e0efd50e3c63e73c4700b6742fe2934ca7899dd2c60af0f.png

  • Wonky McUbtrye

    I tried one of those trendy sheet pan dinners, with pork chops and little potatoes. The chops released a ton of liquid, and everything just steamed: overcooked, pale, soggy pork chops, and undercooked, pale, soggy potatoes. It sucks, it wasn’t worth turning the oven on. Does anyone make these work?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Yes. I do those.

      It’s all about the temperature and sealing the meat beforehand.

      • h4rr4r

        Sealing?
        Like with caulk?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          No, it’s about pre-chewing by pinnipeds.

          • Nockular cavity

            How about mama eagles? Can they do the pre-chewing?

    • Suttree

      I have no idea what you speak of, but I can say for certain that if it is trendy it might suck.

    • Shan

      Slow cooker recipes are trendy, too, I think, but there are a lot of shitty ones out there. Especially if, like me, you don’t know how spectacularly a bad recipe is going to ruin everything. It’s part of the learning process. I wrecked a whole pork loin in the crock pot a couple of months ago, so I feel your pain.

    • Snork Maiden

      Mine always works. Heat oven go 425. spray/brush sheet with olive oil. I use sliced bell peppers,mushrooms and baby carrots. Spread over sheet. Add In sliced chicken breast. Season( i use salt, pepper, oregano and paprika). Bake for 10 mins. Works every time.

    • idiotboy

      Get a Dutch Oven, one pot meals are better, much better in one of these.

  • nightmoth
    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Such a disappointment! I knew he was gay the first time I saw him, and had the hots for him ever since. So many gay men who live on the DL just turn into monsters.

      • Snork Maiden

        I honestly thought it was public knowledge he was gay.

      • nightmoth

        It really was a disappointment.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Why Melania, Ivanka & Jared’s mayoral election votes didn’t count

    Because the whole family are dopes.

  • Margaret Lamont

    I’d rather focus on what she says rather than the shape of her lips, or the sound they look like their making. Don’t women get judged for their looks incessantly ?
    O.K , truthfully, I read the excerpts, because I do not want to listen to what she says. And I did make snark about her faux bijoux. Because surely she can afford real ones now ?
    Evan, I KNOW you covet her voluptuous lips. 😅

    • Pretty sure the pooty bit is more about the constant lying than the shape of her lips. Just guessin XD

      • Margaret Lamont

        Lying and obsfucations ?
        I get that.

    • SisterArtemis

      Women do get judged for our looks incessantly (unless we are so unremarkable we dissappear altogether), and there’s certainly plenty here to work with, without have to go there.

      I will, however, not dismiss the expressions on her face as being worthy of notice – she gets some mighty weird, mean-girl looks going, and they have nothing to do with her hair or the shape of her face, or the tilt of her eyes, or the strange clothing they allow her to go on camera in. If she was a nice, reasonable, honest person, she wouldn’t look so weird to us, she’d look ordinary and kind of plain-jane, unremarkable. As it is, she distorts her facial muscles into some pretty weird expressions.

      • Margaret Lamont

        I admit I’ve watched her for about 5 seconds on TV.
        So I wouldn’t know.

  • Gigglesnort

    I am eagerly waiting for her to explain away as false news Kushner, Don Jr., and maybe her boss being led away in cuffs.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Maybe she’ll be interviewed by Mueller and do what comes naturally for her… lie. Then she can be led off in cuffs as well.

      One can always hope!

  • Me not sure

    They should just put an Amazon Echo on the podium. Alexa doesn’t know any less than Sara, works cheaper, and is a damn sight nicer.
    “Alexa, tell me some bullshit about the President.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/64d40fd03157c16dc5019a7212c0282b9db06d983254db42d40be91d98629a62.jpg

  • topless exclamation

    Another friggin immigrant who decided six years later to do terrorism. These terrorists are incredibly patient!

    • TJ Barke

      It’s almost like they radicalize after they arrive…

      • Tetman Callis

        I know I’m more radical than I was when I arrived (I was born here).

      • vivian

        Almost as if being treated like shit and blamed for everything wasn’t some kind of honor! The nerve!

    • OutOfOrbit

      Some rwnj prolly harassed him beyond endurance

    • jesterpunk

      See he should have used a gun and declared himself a responsible gun owner. If he did that then they would forget about it and decide there was nothing that could be done about it.

  • wait! what?

    If you look in Sarah’s ear you can see her fantasize about her dream job, because Sarah’s doing presses on location and she doesn’t know what that means…

    https://youtu.be/JbRTQceLvsA

  • jowgajen
    • TJ Barke
    • h4rr4r

      This is when you make the kid send an email using telnet.

      • Christopher Story

        Why not just make them eat canned clams while you’re at it

        • h4rr4r

          Because this would teach a valuable lesson. SMTP is still in use and useful to understand.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            200 OK

            EDIT: Wait, I am wrong!!

            SMTP is 250

        • SisterArtemis

          MODEMMONSTER!!!

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            “…b-b-but I only baud a small can!!” :-(

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Spiced clam, aka Spam.

    • Dang kids.

    • topless exclamation

      you can even make phone calls from a computer !

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I actually got to meet him after his Kansas City You Tube concert in 1987.

      • h4rr4r

        Carmack?

        I would love to meet him.

      • Much jealousy. Weird Al is one of my favorite living human beings.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          He was just as you would hope to imagine.

          • Invisible Bunyip

            I’m glad to hear that – I’ve managed to meet a couple of celebrities, and they were horrible.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Just imagine the kids of today having to wait all week to listen to the Dr. Demento Show. The horror.

    • TJ Barke

      Got off my lawn!

    • Shibusa

      Kid Shibusa thinks it’s amusing that we had to stand up and walk over to the TV to change the channel. And cannot believe that there were only 3 channels…

  • Blanche Beecham

    I wish someone would explain to me how registered voters and the election process is an acceptable judicial process. Quit saying the people have spoken on these crimes! It doesn’t work that way, not even in Arkansas!

    • topless exclamation

      there was discussion last week about Franken resigning and then running again next year, with the votes serving at least a symbolic judgement.

      • vivian

        *sigh* That’s NOT how this works. That’s not how any of this works…
        but that is probably what will happen.

    • jesterpunk

      It didnt work when Obama was president. The GOP decided that they wanted him to fail then decided that even though he won he couldn’t nominate anyone until after the next election. There was some asshole who insisted Obama wasn’t even an American and still insists he isnt an American.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      You’re right!

      Although if Trump and Putin manage to eradicate the judicial branch, we won’t be able to raise the issue because kleptocracy.

  • topless exclamation

    I would like someone to analyze her responses as to when she speaks to “the president” doing something and when it’s “we”.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Shouldn’t a topless exclamation have two dots?

  • Duke

    Meanwhile, in the darkest confines of the bunker…
    https://youtu.be/9sEI1AUFJKw

    • vivian

      Why do I have the unfortunate feeling that this video has planted some kind of monstrous virus in my head that will at some unknown future date require me to purchase 11lbs. of string cheese or something.

  • Michael R
  • Zach Williams

    Gen X – “We gave you Millennials N.W.A, Ludacris, Nirvana and Journey. What do you have to offer us?”

    My generation – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4EcRPlaXoQ

    • idiotboy

      Journey!!!???
      Thanks a whole fucking lot.

      • Zach Williams

        You missed the joke.
        I’m a Millennial. Gen-X gave my generation neat shit and all my generation has to show for it is…Paul McCartney saying “donk”.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Cousin Itt – “We gave you Millenials Mozart, Bach and fucking Franz Liszt. What do you have to offer us?

    • vivian

      That happened to me once.

  • shivaskeeper

    So, today, like every Monday was my volunteer day at the equine therapy place for veterans. This is Zeke, one of the horses I work with. 2100lbs of draft horse. Belgian Draft crossed with Suffolk Punch.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa632c08420d9e8770167639969167edd9d8dc83ded4a59d75bd440699e09fea.jpg

    • Zach Williams

      That’s a nice looking horse.

    • TJ Barke

      Is he getting all his trace minerals in his supplements?

      • shivaskeeper

        Yes.

        • TJ Barke

          Good. Oregon is very mineral deficient.

          • shivaskeeper

            As is WA. Selenium is one of the big ones we monitor.

          • TJ Barke

            Good. My mom always has to harp on our horse clients to feed proper supplements.

          • shivaskeeper

            You have to watch the amount of the non-solubles. They can seriously fuck up a horse when they build up. All kinds if metabolic issues.

    • I’m learning about horse anatomy in school, and let me tell you that’s like 1800lbs of colon right there.

      Horse guts are insane.

    • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

      Why the long face?

    • Shan

      I love horses, but my encounters – all as a kid – have never been good. I blame the adults who were supposed to be in charge, not the horses. Horses smell too good to be blamed for anything.

      • shivaskeeper

        You have never had a horse sweat soked saddle pad hidden behind you seat in the summer then, have you.

        And it was the human’s fault. Horses are horses and what they do. Usually because of bad training.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Oh donut spoil her dream

        • Shan

          Yeah, I was left alone in a paddock with a bored horse who tried to eat my hair when I was about 5.. And sat to ride bareback on one without proper instruction on how to guide it away from the tree branches it tried to use to scrape me off it’s back. And given a horse to ride that was best buddies with my GF, who took off at a canter my horse decided to follow but I couldn’t control because my stirrups were too long for my feet to reach and I ended up hanging over the side by one arm and one leg like a truck rider.

          • shivaskeeper

            That was bad people, not bad horses. I had a horse scrape me off on the tree branches once. I was too heavy and her feet were sore. She grabbed the bit and forgot how to respond to leg pressure. Aimed right for the low branches and proceeded to plod on until I was out of the saddle. I give her credit for not bolting into them. She never even increased speed. Still, the tree had more inertia than I had momentum.

        • Shan

          Haha! I meant trick rider!

          • shivaskeeper

            I figured as much.

      • Resistor Radio

        Awwwww

      • Arolpin

        We had horses when we lived in the middle of nowhere Idaho. I was OK with them, but my brother and dad are the real horse lovers. (Dad’s best memories as a kid are of spending his summers at a camp at a military school, because they were a cavalry unit, and he became the top trick rider, pretty good for a jewish kid from the city.)
        We rode regularly, and one day my dad wanted to go riding, but I was doing some chore, so he saddled up the horses. We rode up in the the hills behind our house and he was trying to explain how you can get a horse to sit on their haunches and slide down a steep hill, but my horse wanted NOTHING to do with it, mainly because the hill was loose rock rather than nice soft dirt. As the horse is starting to freak out about going down this VERY steep hill, I feel the saddle start to slip just a bit, realize that I didn’t double check the saddle, and also realize that this is one of those stubborn horses who ALWAYS blows up his belly when you put a saddle on, so you need to give it a sharp knee in the belly when you tighten the cinch, feel the saddle slide a little bit farther up Smokey’s neck, and then the horse gave the biggest buck I’ve ever felt, threw me directly over his head, and with the slope of the ground, I probably flew 10 ft forward and fell 10 ft to the ground. I was luckily uninjured, properly cinched the damn saddle on, and went home cursing my dad and nursing my bruises.
        Of course it was an accident, and my dad felt terrible and I forgave him after a few minutes.
        There were a dozen other things the horses did to piss me off, like freaking out and destroying a saddle that 13-year-old me then had to spend $300 to get repaired or opening the gate and knocking down all the hale bales we just stacked, or learning to remove the bent nail in the latch and opening the gate and eating 50 pounds of Show Chow for the show lambs and having to have the vet come and pump them full of castor oil and then walk them around the paddock every hour for 48 hours, or when they would terrorize the sheep, or when they would try to open the pig pen and let the pigs out.
        So yeah, horses can be assholes, but if you get hurt it’s usually because some person did something wrong (and it was often me, because I was a dumb teen, or my brother because he was a dumb tween).
        And when you’re ready to just get rid of the damn oat-burners, they do things to make you realize how cool they are. My brother’s horse was out of a big money thoroughbred and a decent money quarterhorse, but at only 14 hands was way too small to race. We didn’t think he was fast until we were out riding, dad was on the big red mare and started galloping down the road. I started my brother’s little gelding with a run, and he just put his head down and started FLYING. I was frightened, but the run was so smooth that there was really no danger of falling off. My dad probably had a 1/4-mile head start, and I passed him within a 1/2 mile. I was instantly back in love with horses.
        At this point, I think of horses the same way I think of boats, nice to have for a day or two, really nice if a friend or nearby relative has one and lets you use it, but other than that, when you feel the urge, rent one.

        • Shan

          Maybe I’ll just look at them on the TV like I do people.

    • Shibusa
      • shivaskeeper

        Mini or pony?

        • Shibusa

          Pony. 12 hands, maybe. We (dog)walk by him sometimes. He’s super-friendly.

          • shivaskeeper

            We have two minis in the program. For groundwork with the vets in wheelchairs and whatnot. Also for ground driving and pulling carts. Ponies are too unpredictable for us to use.

          • Shibusa

            I once saw a mini used as a guide animal. (Saw it on TV.) It was housebroken and everything. Kind of amazing.

      • tehbaddr

        I’d take the Pygmy Pony any day! (Over by the dental floss bush)!

      • lowenufc
    • Resistor Radio

      What a beautiful horse!

    • Michelle Hupp

      I’ll have a Belgian draft with a Suffolk Punch chaser. Bah-dump-dump

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    A) Quit apologizing for “Go Fuck Yourself, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, You Debased
    Redneck Motherfucker”. That is exactly what that motherfucker should do. She’s a
    soulless officer of the trump regime. “I’m just following orders.” Fucking cunt.
    B) I’m sorry. I’m in a very irritable mood right now, and my filter is (CUNT) in very rough
    shape. Although this is a bit of a challenging argument admittedly, I don’t use the term
    in any way to refer to her as a woman. I use the term in more of the british sense. So I
    say it with some guilt, as I don’t want to offend because it was once used to refer to
    female genitalia, but on the other hand, there is no purer curse word than “cunt”. If you
    are called a “cunt”, you know you pissed someone off, hard.
    C) The whole “Its fake news because I SAY its fake news” shtick is real fucking old.
    D) How that woman can stand up there and defend her boss day in and day out is the
    purest proof out there that there is true evil amongst us.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Evan should only apologize for “Go Fuck Yourself, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, You Debased Redneck Motherfucker” if anyone was offended.

      • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

        Hahahahahaha!!

    • Cunt, for me, is reserved for terrible drivers and Ann Coulter. Okay, and sometimes other people when they REALLY piss me off.

  • Picabo
    • Shan

      Won’t that kinda be too late?

    • msanthropesmr

      Good.

    • Nounverb911

      See also Mercedes and Airbus.

    • jaspersdad

      There’s also the Bombardier/Airbus plans for a production line in Mobile
      Al-abama.

    • Michael R

      Seems to be the only way to communicate with scum .

  • clubseal

    I wasn’t aware that it was possible to have an empathy. I always get my empathies by the dozen.

    • OutOfOrbit

      For her it’s a one – off

  • Shibusa

    I cannot listen to that smug, self-satisfied, lying POS. Thanks, Evan, for once again jumping on that born-again grenade!

    If any Wonkers here live in FL….you might be interested in this petition. 1 in 10 Floridian adults is banned from voting because of a past conviction. This group is trying to put an initiative on the ballot that would restore their ability to vote.

    https://florida.ourstates.org

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I’ve never understood that. If a convicted felon has served his time why can’t he vote?

      • tehbaddr

        Because reasons!

        • Shibusa

          He might vote for candidates who favor criminal justice reform?

      • Treg Brown

        He can get his guns back though…

      • (because lots and lots of brown people are incarcerated and by and large they tend not to vote R. No. Really. See also fallout VA when Terry did his let the convicts vote thing. They admitted it right out).

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Because felons are disproportionately minority. Watch that doc “The 13th.” It explains it pretty clearly.

  • aktlib101

    Comprehensive NYTimes list of Trump’s lies.
    How dare he and his minions blast reporters for mistakes, when this entire administration lies to us EVERY FUCKING DAY?
    https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/06/23/opinion/trumps-lies.html?_r=0

    • That shit hasn’t been updated since JULY. Given how comprehensive of a liar he is I think it needs some work.

    • jesterpunk

      Sarah said last week it doesnt matter if Trump lies with fake videos what matters is the point he is making.

  • tehbaddr

    “Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s Press Briefing Was Fuckin’ Weird Today”

    Oh C’mon! That shit is always bordering on surreal!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Why must we be represented by the worst people this country has to offer?

    • Shan

      They have wealthier donors.

    • Zach Williams

      Because all the old white Republicans refuse to die and hand Gen X-ers/Millennials the keys to the kingdom.

    • Nounverb911

      mOrans?

    • Treg Brown

      The South? Electoral College?

    • Paperless Tiger

      My theory is that it’s one of those jobs that, if you do it right, you get nothing but grief, but if you do it wrong, you get a big fat payoff.

    • OrG

      Taxes are too high./s

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    Does anyone else look really young relative to their age? I don’t think I do, but I’m apparently wrong. I’m 35. My colleagues in the National Guard guessed I was 26.

    This wouldn’t really matter, but I’m also a lawyer. I’m asked on an annoyingly frequent basis if I’m ‘really a lawyer.’ I have a client near my dad’s age charged with a serious felony. I fell on my sword to the prosecutor, no dice. I’ve been walking through my argument in the shower for a week. He calls and is again concerned. Fuck me

    • idk, I’ve always looked 40ish. Used to be the beer getter back in HS.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Did you at least have a great fake ID? Mine said I was 27… and from Tenessee:)

        • Nah, did not need one, no one ever asked me to show it until I was way too old to be flattered by it.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Damn! You must have been one ugly baby!

    • Juan de Fuca

      I remember getting carded when I was your age. Now, I’m just getting old.

      • I kid you not, I never got carded until I turned 35. wtf with that? Was clerk dude trying to flatter the older lady or something?

        • Shan

          Where I live and shop, the signs all say that if you look under 30, you will be carded.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I’m old.

        • Juan de Fuca

          Not yet, you aren’t. Matter of fact, I joke about getting old but hell, 47’s not even old. Not when you go to the beach and see 65 yr old folks surfing better than you.

          I do need to get myself back to the gym though. So that I can still surf when I’m 65. I’ve been slacking.

      • shivaskeeper

        I got carded for smokes in FL once when I was in my early 30’s. I asked if I really looked under 18. The clerk told me I looked like a cop and carding was the law so she carded me to be on the safe side.

        That was acceptable.

        • jesterpunk

          I still remember when I was younger going to buy beer, didnt get carded for that but went over to the other window to buy smokes with the beer I just bought from the same cashier and they carded me.

    • Christopher Story

      If I shave and cut my hair, I look ten years younger. That’s why I have all the hair I do. It’s the only way to convince people I’m in my 30’s.

    • SisterArtemis

      I generally am guessed to be about 10 years younger than I am – people think I’m in my 40s, and I’m almost 60. It’s kind of weird, kind of flattering, never comes across as a pervy come-on. Usually it comes up because my daughter is in her late 30s, and if I mention that, people often ask me, “how old ARE you?”

      But when I was younger, I pretty much looked about my age. It’s been since I turned 40ish that I’ve been running into this. And I think part of it is that I haven’t caved to middle-aged Walmart style. My hair is long, not styled; I dress in moderately hippie-ish garb (PNW style!), I work in what’s thought to be a young person’s industry (it’s not, but that’s stereotypes for ya). And I don’t “act” old, in that I haven’t quite descended into the grumpiness I associate with growing older, the “get off my lawn” and “old man shakes fist at cloud” stuff.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        That’s what offends me. I’m fully into get off my lawn, you kids and your weird techno stuff, etc

      • TootsStansbury

        I have recently committed to growing into my gray. I’m ready even though right now I look like Cruella DeVille.

    • Bananas Foster

      I’m 42.

      People routinely peg me as 26-29.

      I tell them I look my psychological age, not my chronological age.

      (It is also, too, a problem for me professionally.)

    • shivaskeeper

      I do not have that problem. Dumbass young troops aged me before my time.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I explained to spouse how if I was a sgt and team leader, I’d be posting bond at 2am for my joe. She had an opinion on that. I can see how being responsible for soldiers is aging

        • shivaskeeper

          Posting bond? Fuck that. They can stay until they are released.

          • Shan

            Dude, you made me laugh (as a mom who had to go get her son out of tne juvenile detention facility a few years ago).

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Brigade wanted bond posted so they’d be out and didn’t have to be reported as in civilian custody.

          • shivaskeeper

            All the Brigades I was in were cool with letting them stew. Didn;t stop them from calling me at 3 in the morning from the lock up, but they were generally released in a day or two unless they got picked up on a Friday over a holiday weekend. Then they might stay in until Wed or Thur depending on how many other people the judge would have to work through.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            I guess I just got those calls and did Saturday bond court (entirely informally).

            Shit, if I’d had an NCOER, I’d have gotten bullet points on doing command and staff slides and talking to prosecutors on bond hearings. That’s gotta be promote above peers :)

          • Juan de Fuca

            One of my last jobs in the Airforce was filling in as Squadron First Sergeant after ours PCS’d. I thought it’d be a cool way to go out.

            Jesus fucking Christ, what a nightmare that job was. You name it, I went through it in 8 months.

            Wife beating – check
            Husband beating (by the same wife) – check
            NCO sleeping with female E-3 in her dorm room – check
            Potential active shooter (directed at me and our Sq commander) – check

          • shivaskeeper

            All that and then some. I loved it though. 1SG was all I ever wanted to be. I got to be it as an E-8 with the diamond. Dropped my retirement when my time in the seat was done.

          • Juan de Fuca

            I give you credit, I give all of you First Sergeants a lot of credit. I couldn’t do it as a career choice.

            Remember the Sutherland Church mass murder a few months ago and reading about the mental health facility the killer had escaped from while serving at Holloman AFB – “The Peak”? I got to know that place well while I was first shirt. I was either taking someone down there or going to do a health and welfare check on someone else.

            I was not cut out for that part of the job. OTOH, I did love my troops, though. Loved providing guidance, counseling, being around them. I still go to Camp Pendleton every now and then to be around young troops, because I miss it every now and then. It’s the darker side that I wasn’t cut out for as a First Sergeant and recognized it. Then again, I went through a lot during those 8 months. It’s something I’ll never forget.

            Much respect, Top.

          • shivaskeeper

            No problem. Some people can handle it, some can’t. It is definitely not for everyone, Moving away from the direct leadership to a more administrative role is hard, among other things. For me the good points outweighed the bad by about 2:1. But even on good days I still put in 12-14 hour days.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Jesus, you senior NCOs need a safe place :)

            Honestly, we should let you beat E-5 and below. Less long term damage and cost

          • shivaskeeper

            True story:

            During my last year, one of my old troops came to see me for some advice. She was a SGT at the time and was having some issues with some of her troops having personality conflicts at work. The first thing she said to me was, “I’m sorry for all the bullshit you had to put up with. How did you not fucking kill us all?” I gave some advice on how to approach her issue and told her welcome to leadership.

          • nosuchuser

            My response was always ‘because I’m too fucking lazy to dig the hole and I haven’t figured out where the Sea Bees keep the keys to the backhoe; yet..’

          • shivaskeeper

            I had the keys to the Bobcat and knew all the training areas like the back of my hand. They all knew that. It would have been unprofessional.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Lol, the husband/wife beating part wasn’t as bad as I made it sound. He shook her one night and locked her out (that part was bad). She later returned the favor by taking his pellet gun and destroying his huge, new flat screen TV and hit him in the head with it (that part was kinda funny). The active shooter thing wasn’t funny.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Opposite here. 48, but get mistaken for a senior sometimes. On the positive tip, I get into the track for free occasionally.

    • jaspersdad

      I was in my mid thirties still getting asked for ID (the legal drinking age is 19 in BC).

    • Shan

      Yes, to the age-conffusion screwing up your life. When I was 12, I looked 20-something. I apparently stayed there for a long time. Now, I’m supposed to be invisible at my age but I’m still getting catcalled and harassed. It’s been going on for nearly 40 years.

      Get your barber to give you gray streaks or something.

      • Shan

        Age-confusion. Stupid auto-correct.

        • Resistor Radio

          Stupid auto-cofveve

    • I’m 39, and I got carded (legal age is 19 here) like 2 weeks ago.

      • Hey…when is your Ajax concert? Spotify showed it to me one morning, but i didn’t get a chance to add it to a calendar or anything

        • January 20th at Drums ‘n Flats Ajax. We’re also playing Toronto March 10th at May Bar, but that hasn’t been FORMALLY announced…

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Well, I NEVER act my age. Does that count for anything?

    • I got carded to buy lottery tickets a couple of years ago. Which did not happen at 16

    • Resistor Radio

      I definitely looked young for my age up until last November, when I started aging rapidly.

      No, I probably still do, though I’m never really in a position where strangers are asking me my age anymore. People tend to be surprised when I tell them I’m early forties, but maybe they’re just being polite. Who can say?

    • Resistor Radio

      To speak more directly to your situation, I was trying to climb the corporate ladder in my thirties and it was really, really challenging to get my colleagues and bosses to realize I wasn’t right out of college. I would mention my age all the time, some vain attempt to be taken seriously. It sucks, I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.

  • News on the MAGA front:
    so the two local resident MAGAts came in today for a chat and chit, and one noticed my I voted sticker and told me I shouldn’t ha ha because I vote wrong.
    So I said eh, your cancels mine. And he said “But I already have to cancel my mom’s and my mother in laws and my father in laws and my wife’s!” and I looked at him a bit and asked “maybe you should listen to them once in a while?”
    So then he hemmed a bit and asked well huh would you be happier with Hillary as president with all that baggage????
    And I went, very loudly, YES OH MY GOD YES.
    After that we discussed voting rights and gun laws and found some pretty common ground.
    We are getting to the MAGAts. WE ARE.

    • Nockular cavity

      But I already have to cancel my mom’s and my mother in laws and my father in laws and my wife’s!

      “Haha, we outnumber you five to one.”

      • *pats beer gut*
        “Not by mass!”
        https://i.ytimg.com/vi/x-reSVQOO7s/hqdefault.jpg

      • Shan

        SOUNDS LIKE VOTER FRAUD TO ME LOCK HIM UP

      • Right?
        I think these two particular guys are less true believers and more like to stick it to the soft libtard types. But yet, they always ask my opinion on things and I frequently explain to them why a thing is wrong.
        Maybe they think it is funny to hear me squawk XD

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Math is hard.

      • Christopher Story

        Math, how does it work?

    • shivaskeeper

      Some will realize the error of their ways. Some.

      • I have hope for those two. They’re dipshits, make no mistake, but they do animal work and take in foster kids which in VA is not a money maker type thing. Not the best at it, the one in particular I am rather relieved is not doing it right now (he is a “tough love” type and then some) but still, cannot fault the will to help

        • OH and I told them about people threatening Evan’s dog and Evan too and they were ALL sorts of against that.
          Progress! Even admitted dude wrote for a liberal blog and they were still against it.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Many have but are too cowardly to admit it. Cowardice seems to be a common trait among them.

        • shivaskeeper

          I don’t even care. If they learn from this and can change without ever publicly admitting what they helped do, I’m fine with that.

          • Can live with that too also.
            Excepting for a couple pundits. They have to admit it. There is no recourse otherwise.

          • shivaskeeper

            I meant the average person. Fuck the pundits.

          • Just so long as we are square on that one.
            lol also told my two douche canoes “When the revolution comes”
            They had never heard that line before XD I am so getting fired some day :D

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      MAGAts! That’s a new one! Thanks, Jen!

      • The one had MAGA in his work signature so I amused myself replying to him with MAGNUT, MAGNUS, MAGAt, and MAGOO

        • shivaskeeper

          There is something to be said for being easily amused. I approve.

        • Resistor Radio

          He has m-a-g-a occurring naturally in his name, or he superfluously adds MAGA when he signs stuff? At work. Dude.

          • Naw, he adds it. We have these ridic long email signatures we have to have so he put MAGA in his on a line.
            He’s stopped of late. Wonder why?

    • Resistor Radio

      I needed to hear this, thank you!

      • I have determined that my job right now is to convert 3 of them. These two particular ones are tougher than the 3rd who is mostly a moderate.
        But I see cracks in the surface and am going in for the spleen :k

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Men go crazy in congregations, they only get better one by one.

      https://youtu.be/4LdUme7QZLY

  • Picabo
    • TJ Barke

      Oh cum, all ye faithful…

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Aye, m’lord.

        Now!

      • Shibusa

        O cum, O cum, Emmanuel

    • If this happens to you, consult a doctor.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        A tree surgeon?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      You had one hand job.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Let us now turn to the book of St. Onan….”

    • Hole-e night indeed

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      This is exactly why they SHOULD be marketed as Christmas trees!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Holy virgin insemination Batman!

    • RMKH

      A shot in the dark

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        It’s all a part of life’s rich pageant.

    • They knew EXACTLY what they were doing…

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Glade Air Fresheners new scent.

      • Resistor Radio

        Spurting Christmas?

      • Catstro

        “Tree of Heaven” aka “jizz tree” aka “why the fuck did my neighbors plant invasive trees that smell exactly like semen when they bloom in the spring?”

    • Jimh

      “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”, he ejaculated.

  • sosuume

    Still have tears streaming down my face. https://twitter.com/funder/status/940376882360520704?s=17

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Unfortunately, that’s exactly why they ARE voting for Moore!

    • SisterArtemis

      Thank you so much for posting this.

    • IrishGrudge

      Mm. That was hard to watch. I know we have a lot of moron voters here, but I hope this man serves as an example to everyone outside Dixie that there are a lot of good, thoughtful non-wingnut people down here.

    • Any idea what his sign says?

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      I am a prevert!!

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I used to think “prevert” was a joke thing. I am humbled by him.

        • Catstro

          I thought it was a joke word (meaning pervert) that my peers made up so that it would rhyme with my last name.

        • NellCote71

          Me, too.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        I was a prevert before they were popular.

        I also have a phone booth which is more preverted on the inside.

    • jowgajen

      It should not change your feelings about this man to know that his daughter died in 1995, when Mr. Mathis was a member of the AL State House. And that, while he is a peanut farmer, he is other things, including the owner of at least one other business besides his peanut farm. He was also the losing candidate (D) in the 2016 general election for Alabama’s 2nd Congressional District.

      http://www.dothaneagle.com/news/letters_to_editor/letter-soul-baring-thoughts-on-gay-bashing/article_a1a6b423-82df-5bff-92fd-46e1e1a12ece.html

      https://www.ourcampaigns.com/CandidateDetail.html?CandidateID=73955

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      We should find out this guys name. By we, I mean someone else b/c booze. I’ll go look. Just wish we could grab these people who do the checkout before the do and at least hug them to death. Might get scratchy, but maybe we could keep ’em a little longer.

    • NellCote71

      Moore’s words, actions and beliefs disqualified him long before the perv reveal.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    When the reckoning with all these people takes place, this woman is going to regret the day she was born.

    • To be honest and no snark a minute, but have you seen the family photos? The smile she wears for those?
      Pretty sure she already does regret the day she was born :/

  • thewalkindude
    • Not true though, he says right out he hates the whole Christmas Season. Very long diatribe to his dog about it in fact.

      • vivian

        Maaaax!

      • Catstro

        I feel like it’s the noise that he really hates, and I understand 100%

      • thewalkindude

        #FAKENEWS! Sad!!

    • Zach Williams

      Nooo…don’t say stolen.
      Say it’s “collectivized”.

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    She has that look about her that says she’s ready to tie a few reporters to the bed and hack off a foot or two.

    • Tetman Callis

      I watched about 3.5 minutes of it, from 30:00 to 33:30. It’s the first time I’ve watched her performance. Her eyes say “Stop hurting me” and “I hate you” and “I hate myself,” and her voice says, “(Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t let them see you cry).” I don’t see how she can keep this up much longer without a meltdown.

    • janecita

      Misery libelz!

    • Resistor Radio

      No dirty bird! No dirty bird! YOU’RE the dirty bird!

    • dshwa

      She’s got the look of when your lips are trying not to say the lies the brain wants them to.

  • Suttree

    Alright. I have pared down my tools. Pulled out my clothes and PPE. Running a bath to take care of the oh fuck physical therapy from today. Then I just need to make lunch. After that I am allowed to drink until 9.

  • Zach Williams

    Free reminder as we enter the holiday season that Comrade Nicholas is a Communist. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b901e21b99546a22583c821fa378dd34a0cad89c1b23ab4b12f84f5d2a4a22cc.jpg

    • yeah but didn’t Vlad do in a few folks here and there?

      • vivian

        Hey hey hey. What’s an ice pick amongst friends?

        • Resistor Radio

          One could say that Santa has an iced prick!

          • vivian

            That’s cold.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Damn! Beat me to it!

      • OutOfOrbit

        Yeah but who’ s counting?

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Sure, but, as I am reliably informed, Santa offed Grandma, so I guess faults on both sides… let’s call it even.

        • To be fair it twas the reindeer that kilt grandma, but, he did enable

          • vivian

            Accessory after the fact?

          • Christopher Story

            Fleeing the scene of an accident

          • vivian

            Aiding and abetting? Sheltering a fugitive? Where the fuck is Dann-o? I got a book to throw.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            It’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up.

    • yyyaz

      I have no problem with this.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      It’s not the coldest place on earth.

      • Zach Williams

        Still pretty damn cold, though.

      • Red Bird

        Of all the things to pick on, that is the Santa fact you choose. Poot!

    • Bitter Scribe

      Lenin is loved by millennials? For real? Why?

      • free college?

        • Zach Williams

          Free college, cheap housing, treating workers fucking decently.
          Take your pick.

          • Pretty sure we are talking about different Lenins here.
            The one I know about promised all that stuff and pretty much didn’t deliver then had his movement forcefully stolen by heavy handed thugs

        • Bitter Scribe

          You’d have to pay me to study dialectic materialism.

  • Shibusa
  • Beelzebubba

    Sanders was asked last week if Trump agrees with Moore that Muslims should not be allowed to serve in Congress. “I haven’t asked him about a past statement from Roy Moore,” Sanders said.

    “Her answer just about summarizes the nihilism of Trump’s Washington, where, when questioned whether the President would ban a religious group from Capitol Hill, his spokeswoman won’t say for sure without checking.” https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/18/donald-trump-roy-moore-and-the-degradation-of-the-gop

  • WilbyToad
  • Another sobriquet for Ms. Sanders might be “jive turkey.”

  • janecita

    I’m glad that Jim Acosta lives to make Sarah la Fea squirm. She is as terrible as her asshole father.

    • yyyaz

      You say Sarah la Fea, I say Sarah-da-fé.

      • janecita

        Like in? “We should go all Spanish Inquisition on that bitch.”

        • Bobathonic

          Well, I never expected that.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        ♫ What a day, what a day,
        For a Sarah da fé! ♫

  • Opiwan

    Poot is just fun to say.

    POOT!

    • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

      Rooty poot.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • vivian

        Bad bad naughty Zoot!

      • Opiwan

        She must have been lighting the beacon again, which I JUST remembered is Grail-shaped!

  • Suse
    • Red Bird

      Even I have to admit that this picture is perfectly soothing.

  • Donna Mueller

    “…veneer of calm, dishonest, self-satisfied assholery…” i salute you sir!!! that is a thing of beauty!!!!!!!!

  • Shibusa
    • Suse

      That’s funny!

  • Suse

    Pus Bag Bannon is speaking at Moore rally.

    • Zach Williams

      This should be fuuunnn…

  • Me The People

    Astronomers to check interstellar body for signs of alien technology

    https://www.theguardian.com/science/2017/dec/11/astronomers-to-check-interstellar-body-for-signs-of-alien-technology

    The interstellar body, the first to be seen in the solar system, was
    initially spotted by researchers on the Pan-Starrs telescope, which the
    University of Hawaii uses to scan the heavens for killer asteroids.
    Named after the Hawaiian word for “messenger”, the body was picked up as
    it swept past Earth at 85 times the distance to the moon.

    While many astronomers believe the object is an interstellar
    asteroid, its elongated shape is unlike anything seen in the asteroid
    belt in our own solar system. Early observations of ‘Oumuamua show that
    it is about 400m long but only one tenth as wide. “It’s curious that the
    first object we see from outside the solar system looks like that,”
    said Loeb.

    • If you’ve got the ability to create something like that and send it so far are you gonna still be using radio, though?

      • dshwa

        No.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Unless e does not = mc2, the speed of light is probably the constraining factor,.

        Whatever is or was going on out there will takes eons to get the point where we can observe it.

      • Me The People

        It could be alien, yet not an attempt to communicate with us at all. (It probably isn’t though.) But you never know!

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Then obviously they have not achieved the Internet.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Perhaps it’s some alien’s attempt at fucking with Earthling minds.

          If so, then, well, not good enough for me. It’s the fucking aliens that got Trump elected who fucked our minds something fierce.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          If it’s looking for signs of intelligent life, a broadcast from the White House is all it needs to pass on Earth.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Seven of Nine libel.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Is it Matthew McConaughey trying to send us equations?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        3D learning which, as it happens more than two decades after Sagan’s “Contact” is exactly what we are doing in science education.

        https://www.nextgenscience.org/three-dimensions

        • Courser_Resistance

          Interesting! And very heartening during a time when science is under attack.

          That’s essentially how my father intuitively taught me science when I was pre-school age. He explained my world in ways that I could understand but were based totally in science. And we built on that as I grew and went to school. He was earning his BS in Inorganic Chemistry and Mathematics when I was very young. He continued to always support and help me in science all throughout college and I was able to help him get is PE for Arctic Engineering when I was studying Alpine and Arctics Environments at CU (back in the day)

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • WomanInThePersistence

      The Vulcans! At last!

    • They should have called it “Rama”

      http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/cover_8.jpg

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well, that elongated object, according to expert scientifical option, is one of god’s turds.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Perhaps God needs more roughage?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          We need to initiate a search program to find some high-fiber asteroids.

  • Rick Hill

    Fack I hate having a work ethic. When are those Soros bucks coming?

  • It looks like Sarah has the boss coming down on her…..she’s feeling the pressure of an alchemist to perform. If she’s not careful, Kimberley Guilfoyle will be next at the podium and then the fun will.really begin.

    • Suse

      KG is awful! Ex-wife of Gavin Newsom and all around terrible person.

      • Bring it. We made Sean hide in the bushes and Sarah crack, Kimkim’s got nothin

        • Edith Prickly

          Have we forgotten the Mooch already??

  • Suse

    Alabama peanut farmer dad of gay woman who killed herself was just on Hayes show dissing Moore. I wish he’d stuck up for her when she was alive. :-(

    • I get the impression he does too.

      • Suse

        I think so. Sad, that…

    • Apple Scruff

      I just saw that. I totally teared up.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    hola wonketteers!

    crap day for me, is the world still holding together?

    • Zach Williams

      Barely, but we’ll duct tape it back together.

      If that fails…well, unless one of us has mastered Reinforcement magecraft, we’re fucked.

    • Rick Hill

      Idk. I just got back in the shop after the work day turned into an auto repair work day. Fortunately it warmed from a low of 26 to about 46 today. Has the resurrection happened?

    • Suse

      See circular kitteh I posted below for a smile. Sorry you had a bad day.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Not really

    • You should ice that burn

      Hang in there bro, we need to hold our little pieces together best we can until this sad chapter closes, by fire, or by firing squad.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Barely.

  • Apple Scruff

    Ohmy, Chris Hayes just showed a clip of a conservative father down in Alabama holding a photo of his gay daughter who killed herself but is anti-Moore, heart-breaking :*(

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      See also down thread.

    • janecita

      Worse part, he wishes that he could take back all the mean things that he said to her.

      • OutOfOrbit

        A bell can not be un-rung

        • But can stand to warn others

        • janecita

          Unfortunately that is true. Be nice to people while they are alive, talking nicely about the dead is meaningless.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            But maybe it can help other people.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Thats heartbreaking.

        • janecita

          It is, poor man.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It sounds like he’s doing what he can to atone. (No cable, so I’m getting this second-hand.)

    • If we could get conservatives off the hot button bullshit they get blinded with and back on to policy, we will be better off. Cause our policy PWNS theirs, but the civil rights stuff cannot be ignored.

    • NellCote71

      I saw that. Poor fellow. You could tell his heart was breaking.

  • CATMAN

    “There’s a VERY BIG DIFFERENCE between making honest mistakes and purposely misleading the American people”–Sarah, dear, there is certainly is a big difference and you have done a helluva lot of the latter, so I am wondering if you were listening to what you were saying our was your brain just on automatic

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Brain?

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
        • Bobathonic

          One of the best lines evar!

          • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

            This episode also has the most inconsistencies in it of any ST: TOS episode ever. I especially liked the way Spocks hair never even gets mussed up.

          • Bobathonic

            One of my favorite moments is in Mirror Mirror. Kirk and his concubine(?) are peeping at folks through the remote death machine, and when they get to spying him, Spock is looking right back.

          • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

            Ahhh, yes. The Tantalus Field. She states how she hates it but can’t wait to get her icy fingers on the button to extinguish alt-universe Spock’s life.

      • suziq

        Assumes facts not in evidence.

  • Wookie Monster

    So, Fuckabee’s example of the media deliberately printing something false is a case where the network not only corrected the mistake, but also disciplined the reporter?

  • Andrew Rheinheimer
  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Is this your sole comment?

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Didn’t see that one comin’ down the pike.

  • janecita

    Tomorrow is the first day of Hannukah, and I’m going to make a brisket to celebrate;-) According to 23 and Me I’m part Jewish, so I’m going to use that as my excuse.

    • Suse

      Neanderthals love brisket, too!

      • janecita

        Who doesn’t! Brisket is awesome!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      You knows, ifn ya jest brown that up in yer dutch oven on yer stovetop, then cover it with a quart of beef broth and plop it into yer oven fer @ 260 fer like 6 hours, it jest falls apart pullin on it with a fork, plus you gets juices and stuff to make a buttload of gravy.

      • shivaskeeper

        Smoker. Cut it into three pieces. That way you get more of the crunchy ends as well.

    • You should ice that burn

      Brisket is cool, that’s beef, no cloven hoof, no prohibition, your Jewish % is good to go!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Happy holidays! I love this.

      https://youtu.be/DtlLHwk9_Rw

    • Courser_Resistance

      I don’t cook for Hannukah anymore, but I do light a menorah. Ex bf & I used to do Hannukah up nicely and a menorah is a reminder of the nice times. Also too, I live in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood, so it just seems neighborly.

    • shivaskeeper

      Brisket needs no excuse. Only time to make it correctly.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      May I strongly suggest that you serve it with roasted potatoes that were tossed with oil and no dairy?

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        No dairy? Infidel!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Hmmmm, no. Making a nod towards kosher.

    • Persistent Demme

      Single cut, if you can get it!

  • Rick Hill
    • no see, it is a warning!

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        It’s a cookbook!

    • Me The People

      “I love the stupid people in large groups!”

  • Me The People

    Such a shame the Hitler Downfall videos were done to death long before Trump came along. They are perfect for today’s Whitehouse. If Doug Jones wins tomorrow(unlikely), there should be a whole slew of them on the Trump/Moore theme.

    • jesterpunk

      If Jones wins tomorrow can we get a gofundme or something to get Trump to campaign for more republicans before the election? So far every single candidate he has campaigned for and supported has lost bigly.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        We’re already paying for it and golf carts. How much more than that do you need, for Christ’s sake?!

        • jesterpunk

          I want him to campaign for every republican running for any office. From trash collector on up. The more he does that the more they lose and the less time he has to fuck other things up.

  • paladin

    Yeah. Like he’s going to go get his own Diet Cokes.

  • jaspersdad

    Someone mentioned duct tape below. Reminded me of the old Red Green show.

    (Possum Lodge oath) Quando omni flunkus, moritati. (Translation: When all else fails, play dead.)

    • Edith Prickly

      “If the women don’t find you handsome, they can at least find you handy.”

  • Nounverb911
    • Tiffany de Houston

      I cannot stop laughing at that!

  • Today’s Holiday Song You Should Hear More Often:

    Something a little sexy from Saint Etienne: “Unwrap Me”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r4b9-d4Kyc

    • Resistor Radio

      Very slinky.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • If you cannot win fairly, cheat!
      Congress going to look into the FCC trying to rig its own commenting section?

      • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

        We’re ‘sposed to call them up tomorrow and tell them to get busy.

  • Me The People

    I DIDN’T BELIEVE FOX’S LAST ALABAMA POLL AND I DON’T BELIEVE THIS ONE
    http://nomoremister.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/i-didnt-believe-foxs-last-alabama-poll.html

    Alabama is a very Republican state: It voted Trump 62%-34% and is split 51.8% Republican, 34.8% Democratic, according to a 2016 Gallup poll. I told you I didn’t believe the previous Fox poll
    of the race, in part because the party breakdown of the poll wasn’t GOP
    enough: 48% Republican, 40% Democratic. The party split in the new poll
    is even more implausible: 44% Republican, 42% Democratic among likely voters. That’s not representative of Alabama. The turnout won’t be anything like that.

    A skewed poll is useful to Fox for two reasons. First, Fox, as an arm of
    the Republican Party, wants to goose GOP turnout. Recent polls have
    been looking very good for Moore. A bad poll for Moore on Fox is a
    warning to pro-Moore voters in Alabama that they shouldn’t be
    complacent. It also helps goose the ratings. More right-wingers around
    the country are going to watch Fox’s coverage of the race if they think
    it’s a toss-up rather than a likely Moore blowout.

    I’ll be thrilled if I’m wrong. But I’m predicting a fairly comfortable Moore victory.

    • OrG

      The pedophile will win. If not fairly the rethugs will cheat.

    • Regardless, it will be All The Democrat’s Fault ™ come Wednesday by very srs people.

    • JohnBull

      Those democrats are effectively banned from voting, since the voter IDs require driver’s license and all those have been shut. You have more voting rights in Vietnam than in black precincts in Alabama.

  • norcalOG

    As of today, the Trump-Moore juggernaut is rolling over all comers, having grabbed and stroked more below the belt areas than Franken-Conyers ever thought possible.
    That 32-9 lead looks insurmountable, a word which Trump would find limiting to be sure.

  • John Iwaniszek

    Bless her heart.

    • JohnBull

      I hope so. Her current diet isn’t helping it out.

  • Rick Hill

    trump wants to send men to the moon? Bets that it’s because he want to carve a big T for the whole world to see?

  • Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s Press Briefing Was Fuckin’ Weird Today

    “SEXIST!

    (Psst! Are we still pretending to give a shit about women today?)”

    –Random Alt-Right Troll #5398

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Yeeaarrgggh!!! Robot Chicken, has a Xmas pot cookie special: http://kimcartoon.me/Cartoon/Robot-Chicken-Season-9/Episode-1?id=77279

  • Picabo
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      snork – there is ALWAYS one.

    • wow that likes V retweet ratio is weird.
      If there are that many MAGAts liking him, why are they not retweeting him even…half as much?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        bot scripts need update

    • Me The People

      He splits his time between watching tv and reading documents. TV guides are in a technical sense, documents of a sort, so he’s not lying per se.

    • Catstro

      TBH I may have uttered something similar during the Malaysian Air Black Hole event…

  • Treg Brown
  • Nounverb911

    In today’s episode of the “History of Cat memes”, this:
    https://twitter.com/john_overholt/status/939506723081072640

  • You know how like everyone can claim Roy Moore is the fucking worst?

    Well good news! Turns out he’s even worse than that!

    https://twitter.com/desiderioDC/status/940360280202194944

    • There’s video of him downthread, it’s really sad :(

    • PersianOregano

      This is the first time I’ve ever wanted to give someone a hug on twitter

  • Rick Hill
    • Resistor Radio

      Tee hee

    • Resistor Radio

      Did you get your heat working?

      • Rick Hill

        It’s more the building’s heat. Though, I have three heaters here, the main one broke and they aren’t hurrying to fix it. Down to just one small one.
        So, better than yesterday.
        Hi there RR.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_KXgFpguE0

        • Resistor Radio

          Hiya Rick, very hot car! Spaceman home from his adventures?

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah. Adventures. Wo. Ho.

          • Resistor Radio

            I detect a smidgen of sarcasm there?

          • Rick Hill

            Yes, the humor is sometimes quite on the down low.

          • Resistor Radio

            So, rough day then? I’m sorry to hear that.

          • Rick Hill

            Eh, just a Monday. On steroids. Truck troubles, missed an appointment with an important client. Mice and meme kind of stuffs. Always gets better, though

          • Resistor Radio

            That’s the spirit. I broke the drivers side mirror on my truck this morning, but it was for a good cause.

          • Rick Hill

            I laughed. out loud. Lol, you might say

          • Resistor Radio

            As the kids say.

          • Rick Hill

            So, how do you break your mirror for a good cause? Was it because you were flipping off a trump motorcade?

          • Resistor Radio

            Well that would be a good cause, but no. I cleared a fallen tree from my driveway with some rope tied to the trailer hitch, an wild branch shattered the mirror, but I can use my driveway now. Very proud of myself. No power tools necessary.

          • Rick Hill

            Wild branches…I hate those.

          • Resistor Radio

            Unruly bastards, I tell you what

          • Rick Hill

            Couple years ago, I trimmed a tree. Filled the bed with branches, crossways. I tossed on last one in, right next to the cab. As I let it go, I thought “That was a bad idea.” It landed and then rolled over. it had a cut off stump, it rolled slowly, touched the back window, “shatter”…

          • Resistor Radio

            Ha, similar, I drove through the branch expecting it to snap, the whole time thinking “this is a bad idea” and sure enough, it whipped back at me.

          • Resistor Radio

            Need any wood?

          • Rick Hill

            Nah. I’m usually the one trying to give some away

          • Resistor Radio

            Sharing is caring

          • Rick Hill

            Well, I have a lot of it. It is the best for starting a fire. Burns hot and fast….gets it burning for a long time.

          • Resistor Radio

            As the nights grow longer, a hot burning fire makes a gal warm all over, stoking it as needed, of course.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, not really easy to keep a fire going for a long time. It takes some skill to keep it going, just embers and then bring it up to a roaring flame when you need it. Like right now. Shop’s cooling off quickly

          • Resistor Radio

            Too bad sharing body heat isn’t an option in your shop. That’d warm you up, though would likely distract you from your work.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, too many distractions and I might cut off something. I’m pretty attached to all the pieces I have.

          • Resistor Radio

            Yes, please mind your parts, keep them safe and intact for future uses.

          • Rick Hill

            Also, I was out of the shop most of the day. I missed listening to the radio, while I was away

          • Resistor Radio

            Aww, it was a long day. Glad you’re back in the shop to listen.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah…but I was up too late last night, Took a long time to finally drift off and had the oddest dream when I finally did. so I’ve been distracted today and am beat, about now.

          • Resistor Radio

            Was your dream oddest in a good way, and/or describable? I didn’t remember mine from last night, but I was up too late as well. And I often found myself distracted throughout the day…I’m going to bed sooner tonight.

          • Rick Hill

            It was…odd. Met someone new in it, yet that I’ve always known. Kind of chill, kind of hanging out.Kind of intruded on by other people. Just..odd and intimate.

          • Resistor Radio

            Hm, yeah meeting someone new but have always known is interesting, though intrusions can be frustrating, I hope there was a solution to that, in your dream.

          • Rick Hill

            Not really. One of those dreams where it goes off on a tangent just when it’s getting fun. Like I said, odd dream

          • Resistor Radio

            With more sleep tonight, you’ll have more time for odd tangents (as dreams do)

          • Rick Hill

            It was just hard to get to sleep but even harder to get up.

          • Resistor Radio

            You said you were due at a job site early, was there much coffee involved to get you there?

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah but truck issues. Wound up heading back early and worked till about 8 to get it up and running again. Still have to get out early tomorrow(I hate being onsite and, this project is a renovation, I hate that work, too.) I’m not looking forward to the rest of this week.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m in the middle of my own (stalled) renovation, and it sucks, so I get it.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, sometimes it’s a drag getting things going during the boring parts. I get a little depressed if I think of what I can actually do but get sucked into fields I should just leave alone.

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m going to need a contractor, there’s just no way around it.

          • Rick Hill

            I’m not a contractor but I play one on TV

          • Resistor Radio

            If you’re looking for work, I’d hire you

          • Rick Hill

            I’m not cheap but I’m easy

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m sure you’re worth it, likely earn a bonus

          • Rick Hill

            I’ve thought about taking my show on the road before….

          • Resistor Radio

            It’s an excellent idea, what’s stopping you?

          • Rick Hill

            That’s a long story. I’m pretty stuck in one place.I once had an offer that would have made it worth my while. Then, the housing bubble collapsed and the fire nation attacked, so…

          • Resistor Radio

            Fire nation?

          • Rick Hill

            Odd, subculture reference.

          • Resistor Radio

            I just looked it up. :)

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m getting sleepy, might drift off shortly…

          • Rick Hill

            I’ve been trying to leave for an hour;

          • Resistor Radio

            Well then, go, go get warm and cozy

          • Rick Hill

            nhh. Let my bawdy catch up to my thoughts.

          • Resistor Radio

            Bawdy is a good choice of word

          • Rick Hill

            I make English my bitch…

          • Resistor Radio

            You words good

          • Rick Hill

            ‘night

          • Resistor Radio

            Will you be able/wanting to chat tomorrow?

          • Rick Hill

            You have to ask?

          • Resistor Radio

            Just checking, I know you’re a busy man

          • Rick Hill

            That’s just special effects and cgi

          • Resistor Radio

            Very well done, though, plays tricks on the eyes

          • Resistor Radio

            You’re lucky to have the skills. Is this a long-term reno or will you be able to wrap up your work this week?

          • Rick Hill

            A lower level. It had some type of water damage. We were asked to do the bar and cabinets but…any rate, hopefully finished by end of next week. Just a lot of drudge work between now and then.

          • Rick Hill

            (Early for me is before 9:00. ;p)

          • Resistor Radio

            Well that’s not bad at all, I woke up for the tail end of the sunrise, which was too early given how late I fell asleep.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah. I’m pretty beat, right now. Mostly because it was a pretty unproductive day. Some sweet things at the peripheries but….

          • Resistor Radio

            I’m glad there was peripheral sweetness, makes for a good day, or at least can carry you through the boring parts. I woke up smiling.

          • Rick Hill

            I woke up….differently

          • Resistor Radio

            Differently first thing in the morning puts a smile on my face

          • Rick Hill
          • Resistor Radio

            That’s just beautiful, like a sexy lullaby

          • Rick Hill

            Yousetubes actually made that selection. I never heard it before just now

          • Resistor Radio

            Well good on yousetubes

          • Resistor Radio

            How do you get YouTube to pick random songs for you?

          • Rick Hill

            I don;t go to it for new songs but it has taken what i’ve searched for and offered up a play list. This happened to be new and it fit the moment

          • Resistor Radio

            I liked it.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah

    • vivian

      ただいま。準備完了

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      nice!

    • HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

    • Me The People

      It takes a wingnut to use the term “successful musician” as a diss.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        DIdn’t even spell it correctly.

        • Red Bird

          The letter “s” is expenive.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            upply and demand

      • Everyone who makes a ton of money is awesome!!!! Unless they are a liberal, and then they can be dismissed

      • Edith Prickly

        They think Ted Nugent is a fucking genius.

        • Me The People

          “Sex Farm Woman” – such an ageless classic. No, wait…

          • Edith Prickly

            “Big Bottom” or GTFO.

    • jesterpunk

      Are they like Paul Ryan who didnt even realize Rage (and Tom Morello) where political?

      • OrG

        How in the fuck could you NOT know Rage Against The Machine is political? Maybe he’s lying.

        • Or just really stupid

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            always a safe bet in 2017.

          • jesterpunk

            Paul Ryan is the GOP economic expert…

        • jesterpunk

          I am going to go with he is a fucking moron. He said Rage was his favorite band in 2012.

          http://www.mtv.com/news/1691687/paul-ryan-rage-against-the-machine/

          But in 2014 he denied ever liking them and claimed its fake news.

          https://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6251426/paul-ryan-rage-against-the-machine-urban-legend

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i swear to the non-existant lord, if I never hear the phrase “fake news” again, I will still have heard it too many times.

            It’s not like other annoying things people say (like people who call cigarettes “cigs”) in that it is SO loaded with denial, partisanship and delusion.

          • jesterpunk

            He didnt actually say fake news he called it an urban legend but that is so 2014.

          • I call em ‘smokes

          • vivian

            I don’t call them , but they never stop calling me…

          • Delu

            Or it’s another of those Trumpian 360s.

            Something that happened never happened as long as you say it never happened.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i use to enrage girlfriends (back when I had girlfriends) doing that. They’d be upset about something I said or did and I’d say, “If I don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.”

            here, let me show you my scars…

            ; p

          • Yeah I woulda left scars myself. That shit drives me nuts.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh, that was the point.

            ; p

          • Delu

            That’s different in a sense that for Trumpians, remembering or not remembering is irrelevant.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR? I was wondering the same – their lyrics and activity are CLEARLY not equal of coldplay…

        (speaking of which, I was looking for a specific live cut and found a thing they did in D.C. – they were going to play as part of a protest, but the cops shut them down, so they did it acapella, with Tom “voicing” the guitar parts. Its hilarious)

        • jesterpunk

          They did that at the RNC a few years ago too.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Well played. Well played indeed.

    • Delu

      I’m not a political expert.

      I say Fuck Trump.

      Because really, Fuck Trump.

    • Crank Tango

      Some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “Another successful musician instantly becomes a political expert.”

      But it’s OK when Nooge the Stooge or Kiiiiiiid Raaaawk do it? (Even though neither of them qualify as political experts or even musicians…)

      Oh, and by the way — Tom is standing upon the shoulders of giants (Roger Waters) with that statement. Not mental midgets with wimpy weiners.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2436a762efd12c5159ab192337df60274984db7531a5e7f0fe32a1e0824111c3.jpg

  • brittany

    I can’t help but feel sorry for her.

    I know she signed up for the job, and knew (based on Spicer) what would be required of her… she knew that she would have to toe the line (ok, tread endlessly in the deep end miles away from the line) even more than Spicer. No person in their right mind would take that job… but still I feel sorry for her.

    • shivaskeeper

      Nope. She knew long before Spicer. She watches her dad lie and sell out his integrity on a daily basis for partisan political gain. That is why she got the damn hob. Fuck her. No sympathy. No pity.

    • I don’t. Equivocating is part of the job, true. Outright lying is not. Being purposefully nasty and willfully ignorant as you are outright lying sure as hell is not.

    • jesterpunk

      She took the job after Spicey was fired and knew exactly what she was getting into. I don’t feel sorry for her at all.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I. Feel. No. Pity. For. Her. Whatsoever.

      She is defending the most disgusting and reprehensible person ever to be appointed (by the EC) President. She chose to do that. Her actions speak for her character. And her character is a leaky bag of dung beetles.

      • LosFelizGuy

        Exactly! Bitch deserves EVERY bit of criticism for enabling that piece of trash.

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        And doing so in a disgusting and reprehensible fashion, to boot.

    • JohnBull

      I’m trying. I really am. She should search her soul and find something more constructive to society. Like landscaping.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Geo Metro chock.

      • Gosala

        Assumes soul not in evidence.

        (She could evidence soul by resigning in high dudgeon)

      • cmd resistor

        Or making fake pies.

    • Delu

      She could quit her job.

      Just sayin’

  • weighmaster

    Love that Macron is making good on his promise to take in displaced U.S. scientists. That’s awesome.

    • NellCote71

      Thanks, I did laugh out loud.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Equally badass answer would have been “you wouldn’t fucking believe me if I told you.”

      (Because us olds, we fucking cuss a lot)

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    i’m sure the day shift commenters covered this, but it’s news to me! (not really, if you didn’t see this coming, you should be allowed near busy roads):

    According to sources within the White House, President Donald Trump did not react well to news that U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley stood up for sexual assault victims during an interview on CBS on Sunday.

    The Associated Press reports that “Haley’s comments infuriated the president, according to two people” not authorized to speak for the president.

    • BrendaKay

      Yeah, not surprising… but I had not heard that yet. Trump could still have a Merry Christmas if he just resigned and left behind all these mean girls in the government…

    • jesterpunk

      How soon until she is fired?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i give it less than a week.

        • Bitter Scribe

          Why’d she sign on for that train wreck in the first place?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            cred for future run of her own, I guar-an-tee it.

          • Christopher Story

            And everybody who hated Hillary will vote for her

          • Edith Prickly

            Power. That’s what the god-botherers really worship.

            ETA: I thought I wasn’t commenting on Poot Lips here, but Nikki Haley is definitely there for the power too. And if Trump fires her for standing up for sexual assault victims, there’s what she runs on.

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Eminently predictable. And maybe this is the new Trump admin resignation setup strategy…

    • cmd resistor

      I was wondering how that one played out but didn’t see anything during the day about it.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I’m starting to notice a pattern where anybody who is not a complete festering shitgibbon might not always agree with this guy.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        starting?

        ; p

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          This is one of my patent intentionally slow-witted one-liners

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i was jus’ funning ya.

  • NellCote71

    If Poot Lips says “refer back” one more time I am going to rip those plastic pearls off her thick neck and cram them down her throat.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      With votes, of course. Votes make the nicest fake pearls.

    • You Libtards, always throat cramming pearl necklaces down people’s throats.

      *runs and HIDES*

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Strictly,

        oh never mind

        • do not ruin a perfectly terribly dick-adjacent joke with fact and logic stuff, Fukui

          • vivian

            someone is doing it worng. Yup, that’s right, worng.

            (and I had to fight fucking otto-correct repeatedly for that stupid joke)

          • in the AM on the drive to work I do some light morning wonking on my phone, and today I had something like, I do not even know. It was terrible XD

          • vivian

            Hey, that gives me an idea! Instead of AM and PM, maybe we should make it AM
            and AM NOT.

          • like it!
            I cover both time slots because /no life.

      • Shirley Temples Dog

        ZZ Top. ‘Pearl Necklace’. Cue now internet ppl who know how to do it!
        Extra points for furry guitars…. 🎸 😀
        PS. There is some dick-adjacentness involved, so totally relevant. I think.

      • JohnBull

        This reminds me of my college days.

  • OrG

    By the way,I LOVE “Poot Lips”!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      What odd tastes you have.

      • vivian

        Just imagine the taste of Poot Lips…ugh… I went too far… again…

        • Stinky_Hole

          Imagine it? Chaucer already wrote about it. She had a ‘beard’?

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
  • Rick Hill

    I still don’t think trumpp will fire this person. Huckster has something he’s holding over trump and that’s has to be why she has this position.

    • bbayliss

      No one else wanted it.

    • jesterpunk

      Her dad is a Trump supporter.

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah but there’s more to it than that. I think that her dad is conning trump into thinking he will lose the evangelicals if he decides to oppose trump. Something like that.

        • jesterpunk

          That could be it too.

        • Suttree

          I’m was waiting on her to dump her dad’s name. But nah

    • Bill D. Burger

      It beat being the mascot for the AK Razorbacks.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I think it’s more like nobody else wants this job. Nobody.

      • Rick Hill

        Aww, there’s always some empty headed conservative who wants in on the grift.

        • Suttree

          Tammi Tomi Harkonnen or whatever her name is would step in before Sarah exhaled.

      • Stinky_Hole

        Maybe it’s a little bit from column “A” and a little bit from column “B” – her paw finagled a job for her that nobody else wanted.

    • shivaskeeper

      Here’s my take.

      It’s given that Two Scoops is a sexist pig. His best defense against some of the claims of sexual assault was the women were not pretty enough for him. He would only assault an 8.5 at the low end of the scale. He takes pride in only surrounding himself with the best looking representatives. He blathered on about that kind of shit.

      With that attitude being well know and well documented Huckafuck is kept around specifically because she is physically unattractive. She is there not only to spew lies in her flat monotone voice, but to deflect criticism that he won’t even be around ugly people, let alone hire one and give her a job with responsibilities in front of the cameras and the public.

      She is also there to deflect all criticism because she is a woman and therefore cannot be challenged on anything or the challenger is obviously sexist. Plus she learned how to lie at the feet of Mike himself. That’s got to be worth something.

      • Suttree

        And Ms Skwerl Stew of 1994 is sticking it out because she hates the world…….and is waiting on that Fox News paycheck. She really doesn’t care how bad it gets, she will lie like fuck!

        • shivaskeeper

          I think she’ll lie for free. The grift is good, but she’s lying for Jesus.

  • Gosala

    (An aside: I do hope that “poot lips” is a reference to her willingness to kiss Putin’s butt or some such, because that’s OK, and not a comment about her physiognomy, which is not OK)

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Doesn’t matter to me. She does pout (or poot).

    • pretty sure because she spews noxious clouds of flatulence with it.
      Poot poot.
      Otherwise it would be duck lips or pout lips, etc etc etc non?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I thought pout lips was poot lips in Canuckistani.

        She poots when she’s oot and aboot.

    • Edith Prickly

      Evan explained it in a previous post – IIRC, “poot” is Southron for fart, and Sarah always looks like she’s making fart noises with her mouth. Most of what she says is basically fart noises too, so…

      • poot
        po͞ot/
        USinformal
        verb
        1.
        break wind.
        “somebody just pooted”
        noun
        1.
        an act of breaking wind.
        “I feel a poot coming on”

        • Edith Prickly

          LOL. Canadians with more delicate sensibilities than me say “toot”, but I like the directness of the Germanic/Old English term.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Wait — you’re not pootin’ like Putin after too much poutine?

          • Gosala

            Excellent use of pararhyme. Very difficult in English.

            https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pararhyme

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Eh, I’m a poet and I didn’t even realize it!

    • Resistor Radio

      I thought we decided Poot Lips because her words flow from her mouth like shit from her asshole?

    • BrendaKay

      Have no fear – I clicked the linky and learned:
      “And, just to clarify, that insult means “Sanders is being an asshole or
      (and) lying to the American people, which makes her mouth words sound
      like a poot squeaker!”

    • Crank Tango

      Ok, then, Popeye?

  • Me The People
  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Hey shitsferbrains! NEENER NEENER NEENER! Come and GET ME!!!!!!

    ♪ ♪ ♪

    Sarah… Fuckabee is a bitch,
    She’s a lying bitch,
    She’s the lying-est bitch in the whole wide world,
    Dishonest bitch,
    Propagandist bitch,
    She’s a bitch to all those victim girls!
    Sarah’s a bitch,
    She’s such a bitch,
    She’s such a lying bitch!
    Mike Fuckabee’s cousin-daughter
    Is such a lying bitch!
    I BIGLY MEAN IT!
    Sarah Fuckabee is… a dopey, lying, BITCH!

    (And a monster who likes canned clams.)

    ♪ ♪ ♪

    What’s the matter Brainfarters? You don’t like frozen peaches anymore either?

  • So, Johnny Depp is doing cologne commercials for Macys.
    Anyone check the signs of the beast lately?

    • Maggielle

      Haven’t seen that one, but this is the time of year when we get the strangest fucking cologne commercials. I think if you put together a feature length montage of cologne commercials you’d run out screaming in about 15 minutes. I’d be smearing garlic all over myself for no logical reason except OMG. It is possible I am over-reacting, but those ads are fucking creepy.

      • He was digging a hole in some arid land wearing Jack Sparrow under eye makeup but otherwise was normal, then stood up and stared off into the silver set.
        Because it was black and white. Possibly sepiaish

        • Maggielle

          Ah, the scent of valley fever and smegmatic pirate sweat. Sold!

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time
    • Gosala

      As the Rev points out, giving the gift of cologne or perfume is a way of saying, “You smell bad. “

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Go to the Rapture Index:
      https://www.raptureready.com/rapture-ready-index/

      Trump’s antics with Israel has bumped us to a near all-time high.

      There has been a decrease in anti-Semitic activity.
      Good, that means that there will be no earthquakes correct?

  • Suttree

    Alrighty y’all. I’m going to slide into bed and dream of fly-wheel punches, band saws, chop saws, measurements, that one broken welder that they always hoist on the new guy, and the overhead crane.

    • mmmm overhead crane. Kinky!

    • Master Contrail Program

      Are you sleeping with a nicotine patch on? They give me some wild dreams too.

      • Suttree

        Not at the moment. I’m getting ready for tomorrow.

        • Master Contrail Program

          It’s no visions of sugarplums but if it works for you. Have a good night and better tomorrow, amigo.

    • NorthernSaber

      My grandmother called such dreams the “heebee-jeebees” and said they were caused by pistachio Ice cream. There you go…

      • I think I love your grandmother a little

      • Suttree

        It’s not a dream! It is my morning’s task.

      • shastakoala

        Did she sprinkle salt around your bed before you fell asleep?

        • NorthernSaber

          No, but to this day if I hear even a snippet of the “Young and the Restless” theme music I can hear her yelling at us on some summer day in 1973 to be quiet because her story was on!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Night Suttree. Pleasant (if peculiar) dreams!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i saw the news! congrats.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Pepe Platoon don’t do interwebs good.

    https://twitter.com/th3j35t3r/status/940402058326241280

    • Because if they cannot “trigger snowflakes” they have NOTHING.
      Dumbasses

      • Edith Prickly

        Without us, they’re nothing.

        • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

          BOOM!!!

      • jesterpunk

        They have child porn on voat. But yeah they really don’t have anything when they don’t have anyone to attack.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Out of morbid curiosity I opened up Voat once, just to see what all the hubbub was about. I didn’t even see any “pizza,” but the rest was so atrocious that it took not even a minute before I literally reenacted that Kelly Coco .gif from Big Bang Theory. The one where she slams her laptop shut and shoves it over to the other side of the couch.

          https://i0.wp.com/gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/hide-computer-big-bang-theory.gif?ssl=1

          DO. NOT. WANT.

          I don’t even want to know what their user base does with the mascot either. Erik son of Erik sons of Erik all the way down, he’s the one who owns that site, methinks?

          • jesterpunk

            I didnt even go to the site, just googled it and the top results show their most popular subs. You are much braver then I am to go there.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        The democratic party has already preemptively begun rambling about how evil, bigoted, and backwards white Alabama voters are.

        Was this posted in 1993?

    • Gosala

      Pssst…Pepe is gay. Pass it on.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Gay for Bannon!

      • ooooo THAT is what the creator should have done.
        MWUAHAHAHAHAAH

    • Resistor Radio

      Fuck ‘em

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Surprise! Nobody with talent wants anything to do with them!

      • No one wants them, they cannot find funding, and it is no fun without making other people miserable. NO FAIR

    • shivaskeeper

      I am sad. I am. Truly.

      The best part of it for me? The guy in Texas who is taking their money and knows they are all going to fail. I have no issues with that at all.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      No faggot Jewish modship here.

      They sound nice. We should show them our appreciation with our fist of votes.

  • Red Bird

    I have nothing tonight. I’m just going to jump on the Poot bandwagon. Poot. Poot. Poot.
    Goodnight Wonks. Tonight we are all Poot lips.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Night Red Bird. Poot poot poot!

      • Stinky_Hole

        I thought it was comparing her expression to a prolapsed anus.

    • shivaskeeper

      I am not.

  • JohnBull
  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Maybe if we arranged a Tweetless Tuesday, or something…

    https://twitter.com/Yair_Rosenberg/status/940340838323941376

    • Facebook: Ban women saying ban men, but we’re Ok with hanging people!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      you now, technically, a lot of Arabs are Semitic, so that’s not exactly right. Anti-Israeli/Anti-Jewish perhaps, but I am pretty sure they aren’t cartoons about themselves being all bad and such.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        I heard there was a study, where they made 2 copies of the same cartoonishly-exaggerated picture, put sunglasses and a keffiyeh on one and payyos and a yarmulke on the other, and showed it to Jews and Arabs respectively. They both said it was a stereotypical caricature of the other group.

        • Werewolf

          A year or so ago, there was a terror attack in Israel. An Arab stabbed two guys-both of them Arabs. Because you can’t tell an Arab from a Jew by looking at them.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            OJ Simpson: Not a Jew.

  • Picabo
  • shastakoala

    Just kinda sorta wondering when a Sander’s Press Briefing isn’t weird?

  • Bill D. Burger

    This is so telling and heartbreaking, and, smart ass that I can be, it would be easy to be unkind to him. A father who was similarly unkind to his lesbian daughter has come to call out Roy Moore for the hate and bigotry the senate candidate has inflicted on others. The man’s daughter committed suicide at 23 and he, an uneducated man and a product of Alabama’s unholy war on anyone different, tries as best he’s able, to make some amends for his daughter’s tragic death, his own contribution to it, and stop other wrongs. It’s heart wrenching and sad and I think he’s brave to do it. His sorrow and pain and grief are evident.

    https://twitter.com/VaughnHillyard/status/940366306016223232

    • IrishGrudge

      Why’d you have to call him “uneducated?”

      • Bill D. Burger

        Perhaps ‘inerudite’ / ‘unrefined’ / ‘inurbane’/ ‘unpolished…..

        • IrishGrudge

          So after watching that, using his colloquial dialect as a means to convey your opinio on n his education level was what you came away with? Interesting.

          • Stinky_Hole

            His remarks would be ‘raw’, and our attempts to classify him would be ‘clumsy’.

          • IrishGrudge

            His remarks would be that of a parent who lost a child. Nothing more or less.

        • IrishGrudge

          How about not insulting a grieving father AT ALL.

      • Stinky_Hole

        “Prevert”.
        ‘Provincial’ would be more apt. But he doesn’t give two shits what you or I or anybody thinks.

    • OrG

      Things are different when they happen to YOU.

    • IrishGrudge

      And why would you be “unkind” to him as you brag about being a smartass?
      He’s grieving and in tears over the way he was unkind to his dead daughter. Do you even HAVE kids? WTF is WRONG with you??

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Ummm, Bill wasn’t being unkind to him.

        • IrishGrudge