SHARE
Remember how I said they were great kids? Now they’re rapists and murderers.

Donald Trump yesterday said he’s worried the government may have to be shut down if Democrats don’t stop insisting on doing what Donald Trump asked Congress to do in September: pass a permanent fix to protect people covered by the DACA program that allowed young people whose parents brought them to the US as children to stay in the country. In case the “president” doesn’t remember that, here’s his tweet from the evening he took a torch to DACA and then found out people didn’t like that:

Trump might remember that, since he’d said how much he loved the DREAMer kids and wanted to treat them with heart and stuff. But that was a million years ago, last summer, and now, Trump has decided he got snookered the last time Democrats kept the government open. Ergo, Dems’ insistence on fixing DACA has transformed inside Trump’s little hamster brain into something terrible and evil, as he explained to reporters Wednesday:

A government shutdown “could happen,” Trump explained, because

The Democrats are really looking at something that is very dangerous for our country.

They want to have illegal immigrants pouring into our country, bringing with them crime, tremendous amounts of crime. We don’t want to have that. We want to have a great, beautiful, crime-free country.

Just to be clear here, there is no actual “Please Bring Crimers To America Through Open Borders” amendment to the government funding bill. Trump is just plain lying about Democrats’ insistence that action be taken to protect from deportation nearly a million young people who grew up in America and are working or attending college. As for that “tremendous amounts of crime” bullshit, having a clean criminal record is one of the requirements for qualification for DACA, so the people protected by the program actually have, by definition, lower criminality than among native-born Americans in their age group. (This is the cue for future Deleted Commenters to scream, “Yeah, but they’re here ILLEGALLY, so they’re 100% criminal!” And then we point out that being in the US without papers is a civil, not a criminal offense, wash, rinse, repeat.)

Trump continued to lie about what’s at stake in the year-end budget deal, saying

The Democrats maybe will want to shut down the country because they want people flowing into our country, and I want people coming into our country but I want to vet those people […] And I want to vet them very carefully, because we don’t want to have radical Islamic terrorism in this country, and we don’t want to have crime in this country.

We have checked the archives, and there is no indication that any DACA recipient has been a radical Islamic terrorist. If there had been, it would be the only thing wingnuts would talk about when DACA is mentioned.

Nacy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer are scheduled to meet Trump and Republican leadership today at the White House to discuss ways of keeping the government open, and perhaps they could point out to the “president” his previous insistence that Congress fix DACA. As it is, Pelosi has already pointed out that Democrats aren’t the ones talking about how great a government shutdown would be:

Expect Trump to emerge from the meeting to tell Americans that very few people knew DACA was ending, and something should probably be done about it. And then for him to accuse DACA of closing factories and moving the jobs to Mexico. Or maybe he’ll just spit his dentures out onto the carpet.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money and prevent an influx dumb people.

[WaPo / Reuters / NBC News]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • GoutMachine

    Tremendous amounts of crime! All of the crime, Katie! It’s a well-documented science fact that we Demmycrats love us some crime.

    Also, too: someone buy this twatwaffle a thesaurus.

  • mackafritz

    Since when did Democrats take control of Congress?

    • onedollarjuana

      Since they don’t allow the Repubs to have a supermajority.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    no shutdown. no shutdown. you’re the shutdown!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    The GOP could pass whatever odious budget they wanted to. They have the majorities. They want Democratic “cover” to claim that we’re just as shitty as they are.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • onedollarjuana

    I’m not so sure el Trumpo understands what “government shutdown” actually means. Just like his understanding of geography.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

      Mebbe it’s like calling up Bill Gates to find a switch to shut down the cyber.

  • ariel_gee_398

    And so much for those CSR payments being in the spending bill. You know the CSR payments, the thing Mitch McConnell pinky swore would be in there to get Collins to vote for the tax bill. https://twitter.com/ASlavitt/status/938875622004264960

    • Joe Beese
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      “I have a cast-iron promise”
      -Susan Collins, a week ago.

      I’m going to assume for a moment that she’s not a total imbecile. Was this whole thing political cover for her to vote no when it comes back up for a vote again?

      • ((( Augustus )))

        no

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        At this point, anything seems plausible because they’re going every which way.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Grifting stuff into bills for Maine (which otherwise doesn’t even get the time of day in Congress) is Susan Collins’ raison d’etre and MO, as is backing out when those things are inevitably stripped out. She’s presumably not an idiot and also isn’t a fan about being voted out of office: since she knew that the whole thing is a scam, why not secure some cover for herself before voting it down?

      • Arolpin

        I can think of a way to use cast iron to help convince her, but I have a hard time fitting those cast iron votes into the ballot box.

      • insolenttomato

        So her promises melt at low temperatures?

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          They’re heavy and brittle and corrode quickly.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      nope

    • Iron Monkey

      No.

    • Miles Monroe

      Gonna go with the long odds and say she will oppose, because this gives her an out to do so.

    • Suttree

      Got a coin an prior knowledge of her liquor cabinet contents?

    • Blackest Noobs

      and fuck her, i say burn all Republicans, with votes, when their time is up

      • Seek

        As I have massive wildfires not far from my house tonight, I will go with an oldie but goodie – DIAF of votes

        • BradtheBot

          Congratulations! Your acronym made me look at the Urban Dictionary for the first time today!

  • A Groucho Marxist

    “…tremendous amounts of crime. We don’t want to have that. We want to have a great, beautiful, crime-free country.”

    Wow, I guess he’s leaving the country and taking his family and political party with him.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      HEAR, HEAR

  • Joe Beese

    I don’t understand what you people have against having a great, beautiful, crime-free country.

    • clubseal

      I know, right? Completely made up country libels!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      That statement of Donald’s is so

      there are no words.

    • Bright Bart

      i luvs me some crimes!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Is boring, this idea. No crime, no depression? Suffering builds character!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Given the extreme difficulty of having a great, beautiful crime-free Trump Administration for even one day, I doubt that we will ever have a completely crime-free country.

      But, to be fair, it is a noble goal. God Bless the United States of Shursh!

    • Suttree

      Obviously because we don’t want anyone to have jobs or a better than horrible existence because ?????????

    • SweetDeeKat

      Oh, I’m just spiteful that way.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      As nobody has ever experienced living in one, we’re naturally suspicious.

    • Miles Monroe

      Well, Canada does get kind of chilly in the winter …

    • Ill-Advised

      It’s the words. They make my skin crawl.

      The concept makes me think of The Organization Man married to a Stepford Wife with 2.3 children and no certain agreement on whether white-collar crime was really crime.

  • memzilla Ξ©

    Moar lying lies from the Presidenture.

  • Scooby

    He’s right…all those damn DACA kids committing felonies like lying to the FBI.

  • Bright Bart

    stoopid! der der der

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/83490c59ed9588ac3b68d591374dade8c7202666394c38e06532f5374480bc99.jpg

    dreamers ARE carefully vetted, though admittedly not by an old deranged dotard beast man

    • Jimh
      • Edie

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        fl305d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleNewDiamondNetJobsOpportunity/simple/work β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«β˜…β˜…βœ«β˜…βœ«:::::fl305lhh

  • clubseal

    I’ve seen a deluge of people posting on Facebook about the travesty of sanctuary cities because one single person was killed by an illegal immigrant by accident (according to a jury trial). My how hard it’s been to not snark on them by stating that all those homicides (intentional and otherwise) committed by natural born Americans against other Americans would probably not have happened if it weren’t for sanctuary cities. But anyone who is crying about sanctuary cities because of that one case is probably too ignorant to realize how stupid they’re being anyway.

    • Suttree

      Doesn’t matter. Beat them with with it.

      • clubseal

        I do kind of want to hear them equate thousands of deaths to one, simply because it was caused by someone here “illegally.” But I’ve already seen that mindset a thousand times after a terrorist attack, so …

        • Arolpin

          I can think of more people killed in the past MONTH because they had a gun they shouldn’t have had. Hell, I can do it in a single incident, but we can’t regulate guns, because it wouldn’t solve the problem 100%.

          • clubseal

            And that’s usually from the same people who think that banishing Planned Parenthood will solve the problem of unwanted births completely.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

            Fun fact, though: 100% of gun-violence deaths involved guns used for violence. Math, not even once!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

      I even explained this to my father (who I never talk to otherwise) the other day: no amount of walls or borders stopped a Nazi from running over a protester in Charlottesville. No amount of walls or borders stopped a Nazi from shooting an AME Church in Charleston. No amount of walls or borders prevents cops from shooting unarmed black people execution-style. No amount of walls or borders stopped Sandy Hook, the Vegas massacre, the Isla Vista murders or any other of the countless mass shootings we’ve had in this country and done nothing about since Columbine. No amount of walls or borders stopped Timothy McVeigh either.

      The ICE brownshirts are tasked with arresting a 10-year-old girl in the hospital who has cerebral palsy and was in recovery from surgery — because her parents brought her to America to have what they thought would be the best medical care. At the same time, Trump was willing to let a British couple come here so that their terminally ill baby could have what he says is the best of care.

      How the fuck would walls and borders have stopped any of this? The people fleeing violence in their home countries are victims, not criminals — and the violence going on there is in large part because of our meddling and interference there, especially in Mexico and Central America where our “drug war” has only emboldened cartels. These people should be treated as refugees, not criminals! Whether they commit a crime has nothing to do with whether they’re here “illegally” or not. Domestic white people fuck up bigly too. Just look at what our illegal criminal invader government has done all over the world.

      Then he put on ESPN to mock Kaepernick and I just went in my room to eat cereal. But I think I got my point across. (Also too, I think I can probably look forward to getting pitchforked out of vast swaths of the Internet for the foreseeable future.)

      • clubseal

        I usually don’t bother talking when the family turns to politics. I think there’s some Chandrasekhar limit in politics where, if you’re already at the point where you think it’s more important to stop illegal aliens from committing crimes and that black football players shouldn’t have a voice, you cannot escape the fate of being a black hole of terrible views, from which the light of critical thinking can never escape.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

          I just found out he let my mother get almost-raped at a Christmas party in 1982 because he was drunk-dancing with a pair of blonde floozies. She went upstairs to get her coat and go home and got dragged into the coat room by some ex-con “friend” of the couple hosting the party. She managed to fight him off but the trauma is still there. He (my father) then blamed her for “causing a scene” and making him leave early. I hate my father and I plan to piss on his grave when he dies.

          • clubseal

            Remind me to buy you a beer sometime. Or some other drink used for consoling.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

            Thanks.

            Canada Dry, just so you know.

          • clubseal

            I don’t know if it’s just the placebo effect, but that’s definitely my go-to drink when I have a stomachache. Cheers, at this hypothetical meeting of the minds.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

            :)

      • Ms.Moon

        Exactly people in South and Central America would not be fleeing their homes if it were not for the violence of the drug cartels who are making a great deal of money by growing the drugs there to bring them to the U.S. The people who are bringing drugs en masse to this country are monied and do not get caught. I am from Trinidad and I have relatives in the police and coast guard service there. A few years ago a yacht went under close to a beach. The entire area had to be shut down because it was carrying cocaine and there was coke all over the beach. The government at the time said it was going to be “investigated” the general public never found out who the yacht was registered to, where it came from or who was on it at the time. Who can afford a yacht and to make all evidence of such an accident go away?

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • jodyleek

    So, in other words, we will have a crime free country if we only keep the immigrants out. Then, paradise. Jesus. His dog whistle is a fucking bullhorn.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      except it’s been repeatedly proven that immigrants commit crime at a significantly lower rate than citizens

      facts are nice things to have

      too bad we can’t have nice things anymore

  • canes_pugnaces
    • Blackest Noobs

      WAIT!?! is he out yet? did he quit?

      • SDGeoff3

        He’s at lunch.

  • Michael Smith

    You know, with all of this stuff, I wish Trump could at least keep the trains running on time.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      On time? Hell, pretty soon they won’t be running at all

    • Andre

      1703, The Trumptrain is right on time. https://media.giphy.com/media/tMhhu6hkZEoGA/giphy.gif

      and here comes the 1800 express
      https://media.giphy.com/media/CL84SgjPY4aEE/giphy.gif

    • SayItWithWookies

      As long as Air Force One is on time to take him to Mar-a-Lago he doesn’t give a shit about the trains. That’s little people problems.

    • Suttree

      His new Eric Prince run security force will start assassinating engineers until that happens.

    • jesterpunk

      Dont they want to cut all funding for the trains?

    • Bright Bart

      you know who else made the trains run on time?

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Joe Biden likes trains, so Dental Dam Donald will be killing Amtrak next.

  • Gayer Than Thou
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Is the typo there a deliberate play on Alan Turing’s name?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I’m going to say yes, and pretend that I knew it was there all along.

      • Andre

        It is now.

  • Rick Hill

    “I want people coming into our country but I want to vet those people”

    Translation: Vet=sell access to our country

    • clubseal

      I thought it was the more simple vet=check skin color.

    • Suttree

      WTF does he think happens now? People from Myanmar are parachuted into Kansas?

      • clubseal

        Red Dawn 4: Myanmar Strikes Back

      • Moar Wordz

        Yes, yes he does.

    • Grumpy Twat

      Ironically, a 38 Degrees petition, calling for Trump to be banned from making a state visit to the UK, just got 100 000 votes in 24 hours.

      • Roadstergal

        You can’t even “Some, I assume, are good people” with the Drumpf family,

        • Grumpy Twat

          I think it would be highly amusing to see him trotting down the Mall in a golden coach while the loyal British onlookers give him what he assumes is a traditional salute.
          So long as America pays, of course.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Sounds like Baby Fatass is extra cranky and poopy this afternoon. He needs a nap and a diaper change.

  • Suttree

    Republicans love shutdowns! They don’t always gain them the applause of the American people, but the populace is so ill informed of everything at the moment, who the fuck knows. It still bogles the mind that (makes up number out of thin air) at least half of Americans don’t fucking remember any of this from 6 months ago. All those people remember is EMAILS and Clinton boner, and they’ll never forget that. Just don’t ask them about any nuance or actual legislation because their heads may explode.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Assmouth probably thinks a government shutdown is gonna stop Bob Mueller.

    • Suttree

      And give him an all expenses paid trip to Florida for the winter.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Dumb Donald is so dumb…
    How dumb is he?
    The British publicist who arranged the June 2016 meeting with Russians and Donald Trump Jr. sent multiple emails to a Russian participant and a member of Donald Trump’s inner circle later that summer, multiple sources told CNN, the first indication there was any follow-up after the meeting.

  • Joe Beese

    O/T: Remember when Russia got banned from the Winter Games and it was “Think Trump is going to pull out to avoid displeasing Master?”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/acd1e9412e6835a9a470984749e4b0912fa1503f6eca9472bf41fd0868cf62c6.png

    • Roadstergal

      Remember a day and a half ago when we predicted that one?

      • Joe Beese

        I figured Trump would just blame it on the “UNFAIR and CORRUPT” IOC.

        Blaming it on North Korea was the smarter play, since he can bait them into acting “dangerous” whenever he likes.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Gotta be careful, because at the rate this country is going, we’ll be in the same predicament as Korea when LA hosts again in 2028.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

            Assumes “Los Angeles” still to be in evidence.

          • Old Nick

            as more than smeared ashes.
            I am 120 miles away and it it still scary. Smoke all over the eastern Sierra a couple of days ago. Now blowing out to sea mostly

    • jesterpunk

      I wonder if North Korea is dangerous because Trump keeps insulting them and threatening to bomb them?

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Unpossible! That nice Mr. Kim? Never!

    • phoenix00

      I thought it was because Dump simply can’t tell NK and SK apart.

  • Msgr_MΞ©ment

    We want to have a great, beautiful, crime-free country.

    Have you thought about resigning? Cause that would help.

    • Roadstergal

      Jinx…

  • Roadstergal

    “we don’t want to have crime in this country.”

    We sure don’t. So take your evil spawn and head off to Russia.

  • Daniel

    * Trumpotus reminds customers that conspiring with a hostile foreign government is not a crime, nor is sexual assault.

    • Arolpin

      Bob Mueller reminds the rest of us that POSOTUS is as wrong on this as he is on everything else.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Dental dams said what?

  • Andre

    I propose a new logical tool, Donny’s cudgel: whichever is the most petty and cruel explanation is the most likely one.

    • Tetman Callis

      Tonight’s Death Match — Gaslighter the Despicable meets Johnny of Ockham! The shit-stuffed cudgel versus the slashing razor of truth!

      • Old Nick

        William of Occam? Looks as though Ockham is ok too.

        • Tetman Callis

          Billy it is. My mistake. All those straight-razor-totin’ philosophes look alike to me.

  • kLo

    At this point it is really hard to tell if 45 is trying really hard to play political football (and failing in a bless your heart kind of way) or he’s just a feckless despot who can’t go one news cycle without him in it.

    • Andre

      Yes

    • mackafritz

      He’s playing political football with a hockey puck.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

        Grey Cup libelz?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Is that what happened to his teeth?

        • geoffalnutt

          They tried to tell the truth.

      • Miles Monroe

        … and no headgear.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      no he’s a completely derraged fuckstick with almost no attachment to reality at all

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Considering Trump fans can barely spell DACA let alone know what it is, they will support him and his gov’t shutdown.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Trump wants to have cake. Also too eat it too. Film at 11.

  • Poly_Ester

    With Trump its always the first neuron to fire.

    • arglebargle

      In his defense, it is a busy neuron. And very lonely.

    • Poly_Ester

      Or misfire.

  • arglebargle

    Demoncraps should really want abortion banned. Then we could perform all the ill-eagle ‘bortions on unsuspecting women, thus increasing our ability to do the criming.

  • William
    • Non-Threatening Ron

      It’s almost as if being petty and vindictive has costs attached. Who knew?

      P.S. Don’t get your hopes up, Lockheed-Martin.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»
    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Here’s a good splainer if you have ten minutes.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1YMPk3XhCc

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Here’s a good splainer if you have ten minutes.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1YMPk3XhCc

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Here’s a good splainer if you have ten minutes.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1YMPk3XhCc

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Here’s a good splainer if you have ten minutes.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1YMPk3XhCc

    • phoenix00

      Updates to that:
      – Keep in mind the C-Series is selling to a market segment (<150 seats) where Boeing *HAS NO COMPETITOR*. Delta said the 737-700/MAX 7 is too large and does not suit their needs, and disqualified it early in their product evaluation. Boeing is not directly harmed by the existence of the C-Series and their case to the DoC should have been laughed out of the building.
      – The DoC claims Bombardier did not respond correctly to their request for information and based their ruling partially based on it. What did the DoC ask for? Pricing information on their jets, which is a widely-held (and respected) commercial secret across all aircraft manufacturers. The moment BBD sends those Excel spreadsheets over, the clock ticks on an international leak. Also: smells like a fishing expedition, dontchathink?
      – Boeing claims BBD is unfairly subsidized by the Canadian federal and Quebec provincial govts. Hello how much did SC bend over backwards to score that Charleston plant? How many tax breaks is WA giving to their own #1 employer? The hypocrisy reeks higher than the weed WA just legalized.
      – After the DoC punitive duty ruling, Airbus enters an agreement with Bombardier acquiring 50.01% share of the C-Series program, for no cash and no debt considerations, to build and sell the airliner. Airbus will add an assembly line to their Alabama plant, making all US-assembled C-Series jets a US product, theoretically rendering the import duties null and void. Airbus now has a complete modern jet portfolio from the 100-seat CS100 right up to the 700-seat A380. Good luck with your market share BOE!
      – Delta has stated they will never pay duties on any of their C-Series orders. Going as far as to consider sending some of their order down to their Skyteam partner *AEROMEXICO*. Border wall? MAGA? Thanks for playing you inbred imbeciles.
      – Canada is about to/just finalized an agreement with the Royal Australian Air Force to acquire their used F/A-18C & Ds to help bolster the RCAF's fleet. Not the best outcome, as these are equally as old as our CF-18s, and many will be scavenged for parts to keep other planes flying, but definitely the least bad political outcome for JT. As for Boeing? They got screwed 2x.
      – As for NAFTA? US rep Robert Lighthizer has been changing proclamations and crossing red lines by the week, confusing and drawing rebukes from Canada and Mexico. Some are surmising this is DJT's way of undermining NAFTA negotiations while giving himself an excuse to back out of NAFTA while blaming the other two parties for "negotiating in bad faith". I say "projection is the realm of assholes"…..

  • BigCSouthside

    He doesn’t seem to get that they just radicalize people who are already here.

    DACA is a fucking no brainer

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Keep in mind, Donnie is also a no-brainer.

  • William
  • theblackdog

    It should be an interesting few days. Supposedly no one wants a shutdown to actually happen so they’re trying to pass a 2 week funding bill to keep things going until 12/22, then they might actually be able to get a FY 18 funding bill done between now and then. Par for the course in DC, plus a bonus in sales of blood pressure medication.

    However, if this year has taught me anything, the orange one and his cronies can be unpredictable as fuck and we might be out of work on Monday anyway.

    • Blackest Noobs

      this Congress had me be less of a procrastinator. i think, well, at least im not as bad as these silly fuckheads, and also i’ve been getting tons of shit done.

      dotting i’s and crossing t’s, mutherfuckers….WATCH OUT…i’m on a roll.

  • SDGeoff3

    A beautiful, crime-free country will only be possible if Trump leaves it and takes his family crime syndicate with him.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Can we include his extended family as well?

      • SDGeoff3

        The sewer rats under his condo?

    • William

      But he’s not done making America great, building a wall and locking up Hillary yet.

  • Marion in Savannah

    I know it’s petty, but I. can’t. help. myself. At this point every time I see a picture of Trump I check his lower denture to see if it’s trying to make a break for it. Yes, I do have the mind of an 8-year-old. AND I’M PROUD OF IT!

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      We all do, and share your pride.

    • William

      I just hope his hair and teeth make a run for it at the same time

    • Hamilton Ξ©, AKA Formerly DN

      I keep an 8-year-old mind in a sandboxed virtual machine because safety. I checked on him and he is currently LHAO.

      Okay, miserable attempt at computer humor. Bite me.

      • amrak63

        Don’t you mean “Byte me”?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Where exactly would you like to be bitten? My cats and I are full service biters…

  • Tetman Callis

    How’s Don John s’pose to chew the carpet if his falsies keep poppin out?

  • Professor Fate

    Cause a gov shut down at the same time the Middle east starts to explode because of your stupid decision on Israel? Brilliant.

    • William

      The thought that Cheeto-Mc-fucknugget engineered this debacle as the resulting violence might over shadow his impending bank accounts scrutiny and the plethora of dirt being discovered. Is he really that smart? This makes my brain hurt.

    • theblackdog

      They’ll just declare the DoD as essential and they’ll have to continue to work for no pay until it’s resolved.

  • Relativicus

    Thank you for using their names and not that ridiculous nom-du-barf, β€œChuck and Nancy”.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

      How soon before the fucking moran really starts losing it and calls them Nancy and Sluggo?

  • Bitter Scribe

    This guy thinks and talks like a 10-year-old. How the FUCK did he become president???

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Turns out a lot of people vote like 10-year-olds.

    • William

      10 year old Libelz!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

        I agree… Barron is actually The Expert. I feel bad for that kid but I honestly think he’d be a lot more competent as the chief executive than his asshole globally-destroying sperm donor or anyone in his deplorable cabinet.

      • starfanglednut

        Gah! Shoulda looked.

    • amrak63

      Well, it has a lot to do with this asshole:

      https://i.imgur.com/RbsMDfy.jpg

    • anon_the_great

      The fact that many of the men who wrote the Constitution were enslavers.

    • Blackest Noobs

      have you met the citizens of this country? that’s how.

    • starfanglednut

      10 year-old libelz.

    • SDGeoff3

      The other ten year-olds thought he was kewl.

    • mailman27

      You got me. Honest to god.

    • Jimh

      I alone can fix it.

    • ryp

      63 million dumbasses with no respect for the office, or the mental capacity of a dim ten year old themselves.

  • geoffalnutt

    …over the continued existence of Democrats.

  • Crystalclear12

    Once again, Democrats can’t stop anything, they are in the minority.
    This is all on your party, Donnie.
    You own this.

    • Rotisserie Teal

      Thank you for pointing this out. It is mind boggling how few media outlets are pointing out that fact. How about this question: “Why aren’t all the Repubs voting for it? If they did, you wouldn’t need any of those icky Democrats”

  • amrak63

    Meanwhile, demographics marches on.

    The GOP doubles down and doubles down on white supremacism, while their Stupid White Folks, increasingly useless to the Global McDuck Elite, more and more succumb to despair, both in increased mortality from drug abuse and outright suicide, and in increasing failure to reproduce themselves, because they can’t afford to, because the McDuck Elite won’t hire them, or won’t pay them enough money to make an actual living even if they DO hire them.

    The day will come when there simply are no longer enough Stupid White Folks, even with gerrymandering and non-white voter suppression, and then the GOP will hit the wall at Mach 1.

    Selah.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute πŸ––πŸ»

      The only problem is that these cuts are going to hurt a lot more than just the stupid white folks who voted for the global MacDuck elite. I’m a not-stupid white person who was #WithHer and I’m going to get screwed just like everyone else who isn’t the global MacDuck elite. If anything, the stupid white folks aren’t going to care, because they think this is all part of God’s plan for them to be raptured. The rest of us don’t feel that way but are going to go down with the sinking ship just the same. The stupid white folks finally ended up having their Pyrrhic victory of revenge against non-stupid folks of all stripes, backgrounds, and RGB/CMYK combinations. The South rose its ugly head again and marched us all to drown in the sea.

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        Yep, my not-stupid white daughters, nieces, and nephews are all facing the same bleak futures that the stoopid white voters are.
        AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGH!
        (sorry, sometimes I just need to scream; this has been a hell of a year)

      • amrak63

        Half-right.

        The South Confederate-Russian Axis Of Evil reared its ugly head and marched us all to drown in the sea.

      • Red Bird

        I’m not so sure about that. You’re talking about a group of people who owe their economic and social status to a rigged system. Non whites know how to survive in that environment. White people don’t know how to survive outside of it. Do you really think the old rules apply this time?

      • phoenix00

        They are probably in favor of the tax cuts just to see The Libtards scream about it.

    • Red Bird

      I feel that this is the last hurrah for white supremacy. Otherwise they wouldn’t need to join forces with a former enemy.

      • amrak63

        Thanx. I had not thought of that. I find that encouraging.

    • Persistent Demme

      True, but I have to think about my well-educated relatives that voted for him, (I will never speak to them again).
      They knew he was a corrupt, pussy-grabber but GREED overshadowed all.

      • HooverVilles

        Greed is the biggest driver in all this mess. Enough is never enough.

        Something something wrenching squeezing covetous something something.

        A colleague had an interesting phrase as well – some people will squeeze the nickel* so hard that the Indian rides the buffalo.

        *referring to the Indian head nickel coins that used to be in circulation.

  • Crystalclear12

    It is the job of the minority party to do nothing but point and laugh.
    The Republicans taught us that.

  • Lefty Wright

    I wonder if the government shuts down will it cut out trips to Mar a Lago. That might get him negotiating.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I wish it would too, but it won’t. It only affects “non-essential” employees and programs. If Trump were a decent human being (LOL!) he would stop flying to Mar a Lago during a government shutdown as a sign of solidarity, but pigs will fly first.

      • Jimh

        When I read that I thought you wrote “pigs fly first” meaning Trump. I think it works that way, too.

      • Invisible Bunyip

        Pigs fly first. Sheep fly economy.

  • Daniel Hooper

    So, what exactly would be the downside of a government shutdown for Democrats? Because I don’t see any at the moment…

    • People. SS checks, medicare, fed workers, etc and right at Christmas time.

      • SDGeoff3

        Just the way repubs would like it.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        SS checks and Medicaid and Medicare and federal pensions are not affected by a government shutdown. Only certain “non-essential” federal workers are affected, such as Park Rangers, and civilian DODS employees and anyone else that Congress decides is “non-essential.” I wish that included Members of Congress, but it doesn’t, it only includes some of their staff.

        • Persistent Demme

          I’d LOVE to see what happens when they piss off the Park Rangers (again).

          • Impatient

            Guided tour to the cuddly bears’ den?

        • Impatient

          I’d always wished they’d run a REAL shutdown, instead of just dicking with us feds. Ships into port. Jets grounded. Soldiers to their barracks. Stop all Medicare and Social Security payments immediately. It would be the ‘shock and awe’ of shutdowns, and I’d die laughing. Though one might judge this cruel, the shutdown would be over in hours, literally, once the Rethugs had time to change into clean shorts. Reality is a motherfucker. And their “shutdown” has always really translated to “shutdown game.”

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My first thought was “and Congress shouldn’t get paid either” but then I remembered that many of them are independently wealthy and they wouldn’t miss their paychecks. Stop their healthcare coverage, and they might bitch. Should the FBI and CIA be affected as well? Gee, maybe they could make it so that nobody could buy a gun during the shutdown because the FBI couldn’t do any background checks! THEN people would scream!

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          What about the Secret Service? I might be worth it if Lil’Donnie was stuck in that dump of a Whitehouse for the duration like a common Assange.

      • mailman27

        Civil service retirees, loaded with older veterans.

  • Apple Scruff

    If the government shuts down, does that mean tax reform is on hold?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      No.

  • subatomic

    God, I am so tired of this fucking moron in the WH and idiot Republicans in congress. Has it been four years yet? Seems like tRump has been in the WH for 20 or so.

  • You know…at this point?
    Shut it down. No really. The rich and especially Trump will suffer the most being unable to pull on the treasury. The poorz, well, we are used to hardship and know this too shall pass.
    They wanna play chicken with people who have nothing left to lose? By all means.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    “…a great, beautiful, crime-free country.” We’d have to get rid of 99% of the guns to achieve that, but the Republicans are doing exactly the opposite.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Or get rid of 99% of the Trumps.

  • Jo Mathie

    “We want to have a great, beautiful, crime-free country.”
    No crime ever. Right. Even fricking fairytales are more believable than that – and they had crime in them! But do go on Donald – I’ve watched the film “Equilibrium” where there was no crime and look how that ended up. Don’t make us unleash Christian Bale on you. (although given the amount of guns in it he might enjoy it).

  • Persistent Demme

    I never knew I could hate someone this much.
    Trumpolini is in a whole different class.
    Silly me!
    I thought Dubya hit the pinnacle of my Repub-hate.
    (And Nixon? Well, he’s looking like a flaming liberal these days!)

  • Last Hussar
  • gallbladder

    “We want to have a great, beautiful, crime-free country.”

    Oh man, I can’t stop fucking laughing.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Says the head of the Trump crime syndicate.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Mueller’s doing his bit…

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        And each of his super lawyers are doing their bit…

    • mailman27

      Disraeli and Churchill had a love child. His name is Trump.

    • Hesster

      And my response is, “So when will you be leaving?”

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Oh no, the crimes are coming from inside the house!

  • TootsStansbury

    Don’t get your fake teeth in a twist you stupid, horrible old man. Actually get the fuck out, you’re daft.

  • mailman27

    I know it’s all too snarky, elitist, blah blah blah- but I just keep getting tripped up by how much of a gibbering, babbling fool our supposed leader is. It’s just excruciating, to say nothing of embarrassing.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        I am in California. I’d be happy to take them to Governor Moonbeam.

      • javadavis

        Stealing that. We cannot wear it on a t-shirt, though, not here. People near here have been arrested for … fellow citizens reporting them as obviously criminal because of that offensive shirt, I guess, no actual charges, like lock him up and we’ll figure out what to charge him with later on. oh, wait, we have some drugs left over from our party, er, other investigation, we’ll bust him for that.
        But I am still stealing that.

        • BradtheBot

          So, where prezactly is β€œhere” on the map? β€˜Cause I live in an area where there was literally a 100 to 1 ratio of Trump signs vs Hillary signs, and I’d have zero concerns about wearing that on a shirt in public.

          Not being snarky, genuinely curiousπŸ˜ƒ.

          • javadavis

            We are in Nevada. The incident hubby heard about was elsewhere – in Ely, I believe.

    • freakishlypersistent

      They want to have illegal immigrants pouring into our country, bringing with them crime, tremendous amounts of crime. We don’t want to have that. We want to have a great, beautiful, crime-free country.

      Insane. In the membrain.

  • going4baroque
  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Al Franken decides to resign while this fuckhead refues to budge.

  • VirginiaCannedYuleLog

    The last guy to shut down the government right before xmas was a Virginia Republican. Remember how that worked out for him? The Democrats aren’t stupid enough to pull a stunt like that.

  • Justin Cherlet

    “We want to have a great, beautiful crime free country”

    Then you need to get the fuck out of America you beclowned dotard

Previous articleMSNBC Rehires Sam Seder, And Attempted Ratf*cker Mike Cernovich Declares FLAWLESS VICTORY
Next articleErik Prince Congressional Testimony Conclusively Proves He’s Full-Of-Shit, Also An Asshole