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Not obsessed with Benghazi.

Wednesday, Democratic Rep. Elijah Cummings, ranking member on the House Oversight Committee, revealed in a letter to committee chair GOP Rep. Trey Gowdy that a whistleblower had come forward to say that DURING THE INAUGURATION, like for real in the middle of it, disgraced literal actual foreign agent Michael Flynn was texting his BFFs talking about “YEE HAW, WE DONE STRUCK OIL!” What he meant by that is that Trump, now that he was president, would “rip up” all the Russian sanctions, thereby freeing Flynn, his business partners, and a bunch of Russians to get rich by slicing up the Middle East and stealing its resources. (Did you read that post? It is HOLY SHIT. If you haven’t read it, do so now.)

In Cummings’s letter to Gowdy, he was a bit snarky about Gowdy’s “previous refusal to investigate” new evidence about Flynn, and said Gowdy’s excuse that he didn’t want to interfere with special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation is now null and void, since Mueller specifically gave the go ahead to look into this whistleblower, so subpoena these Trump fuckers for all their Flynn dirt RIGHT NOW. Cummings also noted that Trey Gowdy’s attitude about this investigation is a far cry from how he felt about sticking his nose in things when it involved Hillary Clinton and BENGHAZI!!!1111!!!!11!!

(Eight Benghazi investigations. EIGHT.)

Gowdy, a craven shitheel, has now responded to Cummings’s letter, because THEM’S FIGHTIN’ WORDS, ELIJAH! YOU DO NOT MAKE FUN OF TREY GOWDY’S BENGHAZI INVESTIGATIN’ SEXXX CLUB WITHOUT SUFFERING THE CONSEQUENCES! It is a very stupid response, and this tweet is attached to it:

Yeah, well, investigating whether the sitting president and his associates conspired with an enemy nation to steal American democracy (and it seems like they did!) does seem like a better use of resources than investigating Benghazi one million times for sport, a probe House Majority Leader GOP Rep. Kevin McCarthy FUCKING ADMITTED was a witch-hunt meant to tank Hillary Clinton’s political prospects.

Lord have mercy, Gowdy’s making our blood boil and we haven’t even gotten to the actual letter. Let’s do that:

“You claim to have already had ex parte communication.” PFFFFFFFFT. As if Trey Gowdy is the boss of sexting Robert Mueller and Elijah Cummings should have to ask permission, PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

We’d love to be a fly on the wall watching Elijah Cummings read this letter out loud to himself. “Ex parte, my ass. Lemme ex parte my foot up Trey Gowdy’s ass and see how he likes that!” We feel like that’s something Elijah Cummings might say.

A bit later, Trey Gowdy started airing Festivus grievances over how Trey Gowdy is not obsessed with Benghazi, ELIJAH CUMMINGS IS OBSESSED WITH BENGHAZI. No shit, he wrote that:

Oh good Christ. We do not know how Trey Gowdy’s letter-writing paper did not burst into flames.

Glad he got in his little point, though, about how if he didn’t do his never-ending Benghazi investigations, nobody would know about the server, because that would truly have been a fate worse than we are experiencing right now at the hands of Donald Trump. The world is literally fucking burning, the Middle East is rioting because Donald Trump decided to punch the Arab world in the face for no reason, but please, tell us more about how Trey Gowdy’s Very Good Work prevented us from a worse fate, which is Hillary Clinton sitting in the Oval Office EMAILING.

Hey, anybody remember what high Hillary Clinton crimes Gowdy’s endless Benghazi investigations actually uncovered? That’s right, jackshit.

We know Elijah Cummings wasn’t expecting a mature, reasonable response from Gowdy. Cummings is not an idiot. This was more, “Hey look, America, I am sending a letter to this dipshit and you should read it too!” But Gowdy’s response is ridiculous, even by his debased standards.

Meanwhile, what is Trey Gowdy worried about? What’s got the dead opossum pelt on his head ALL A-TINGLE? Oh, it is just the new stupid wingnut conspiracy theory that because Robert Mueller fired a guy from his team for sexting mean words about Donald Trump, that means Mueller is BIASSSSSS against Trump. No, it doesn’t make sense, because none of their conspiracy theories make any sense. But it gives Republicans a squirrel to chase and a fresh new leg to hump, so it works.

Maybe Trey Gowdy should open a new investigation (or eight!) into whether the guy Mueller fired did Benghazi with Hillary Clinton. Sean Hannity would jizz so hard he’d blow a hole through the roof of the Fox News studios. WHEEEEEEE!

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[Gowdy letter]

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  • MynameisBlarney

    Coneheaded quasi-human uses word hole to make fart sounds.

    • Me not sure

      Succinct, yet pithy. Well put.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Thanks!

  • proudgrampa

    This Idiot again?

  • Roadstergal

    Gowdy looks like the guy who gets offed in Act 3 of a Guy Ritchie movie.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    But was he glistening when he turned his back on Whistleblower? Inquiring minds want to know.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    So the race to be the World’s most worthy of some Backpfeifengesicht action still includes Trey Gowdy.

  • Joe Beese

    This may be a controversial opinion, but I think Trey Gowdy is A Stupid.

    • Andre

      I’m starting to lean that way just a bit, I’m not quite there yet, but mighty close.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      A disagree! Trey is moar of A Moran.

      • weejee

        With the worst barber ever!

        • Bad Tom

          There is real competition for that title.

        • Little Lulu Ω

          I hear he gets his hair cut at a school for the blind.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I say he is A Idiot!

    • cheetojeebus

      TEACH the controversy!!11111

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Trey Gowdy’s intellect is just as keenly honed as those of the rest of the Hose Republican caucus.

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        That is a typo, right? You meant the Hoes Republican cacas?

    • ArgieBargie

      He’s more evil than stupid, really. Any Republican wanting to stop the Russian investigation isn’t stupid, just incredibly malignant and treasonous.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Remember that moment when you realized that a significant number of the people who work in Washington are dumber than you?

      I’m not talking about having a different agenda, or being dishonest, or corrupt. I mean that realization that these people chosen to manage this country are vastly more unintelligent than you.

  • dslindc
    • Villago Delenda Est

      It had to be done.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    TREY GOWDY’S BENGHAZI INVESTIGATIN’ SEXXX CLUB

    I assume they have a completely different set of rules than the regular Fight Club.

    • Daniel

      Nope. Surprisingly their rules are virtually identical.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    There should be a Congressional investigation of Trey Gowdy’s barber. I mean, what the fuck?!???

    • MynameisBlarney

      It’s like the barber was like “Well…your head is shaped like a partially flattened football, so let’s just go for broke and make it the center of attention!”

    • Blanche de Shambles

      There’s “high and tight,” and then there’s “high and stupid.”

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…
    Just in case ya didn’t already have mad respect for this top athlete.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/skier-lindsey-vonn-im-representing-the-us-at-winter-olympics-not-donald-trump/

  • ltmcdies

    Oh look, it’s Draco Malfoy’s ugly brother

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Well, Draco’s dad had an affair with one of the house elves, but his family doesn’t talk about that….

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        HOUSE ELF LIBULZ!!1Q1!

        Sure, Malfoy Sr characterizes it as ‘an affair’. The disgraced house elf has some rather more choice ways of describing it..

  • ariel_gee_398

    I know he’s a dope, but it doesn’t seem fair to use a picture where he looks like an extra from Deliverance who just got a grease bath. I’m sure we could find a nicer photo to use. (Runs off to google image search Trey Gowdy)
    Nevermind.

  • Scooby

    Is he morphing into Steve Bannon?

    • Daniel

      I don’t think so. They get healthcare to stop that happening.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He got it from the toilet seat.

  • Suttree

    Who thinks Gowdy buys all the papers everyday and cuts out the special “Benghazi” articles to keep in his scrap book? And has a lock on his fridge to keep the deep state from adultering his food?

  • Non-Threatening Ron

    The Reptards’ need to deflect from the upcoming evisceration must be desperate – they’re putting in the third-string players.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Exactly. The Benghazi Select Committee [sic] was formed to throw a bone to a snarling pack of recently elected Tea Party critters and other lesser figures, with Mr. Gowdy at the lead. They got to pretend for a while they were doing some investigatin’.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Psych – there are no first- or second-string players on their team.

  • Joe Beese

    Republican strategist Steve Schmidt:

    We look at the reality that on this day we talk about the Churchill-Roosevelt relationship where the president of the United States is not welcome in the United Kingdom, where there is a consensus among both parties in Great Britain that his presence next to the queen is an assault on her dignity by him standing next to her.”

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/that-impairment-is-chilling-gops-steve-schmidt-terrified-by-trumps-slurring-israel-speech/

    • ariel_gee_398

      We’ll be lucky if the only thing assaulted is her dignity.

      • Joe Beese

        And when you’re president, they let you get away with it.

        • puredog

          “Betsy? Pffft. Maybe once she was a 4, now she’s a 0.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “One does not move on us like a bitch.”

        • ariel_gee_398

          I’d like her to sic the corgis on him, personally.

          • Andre

            Why do you hate corgis? Those poor things have done nothing to deserve a mouthful of cottage cheese-like orange cellulite in an ill fitting suit

          • Daniel

            I imagine his skin tastes like sour milk and coconut oil.

          • ariel_gee_398

            They don’t have to bite him. Just tree him up a flight of stairs.

          • wavicles

            But let it run in your head;
            The dogs charge, Clump shouts but his teeth fall to the ground and one of the dogs runs off with it.

        • Ωbjectifier

          “Our pussy is not amused.”

      • Covfefe

        Queen is over thirty. Donald has his limits.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Hello my name is Troy Gowdy. You might remember me from such investigative cluster fucks as Benghazi and Benghazi 2.0.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And 2.1.1, 2.1.2, 2.1.3…..

  • cheetojeebus

    I realize it’s twisted and sick but I’m seeing a biopic of Trey and Tom Cotton in a bromance/ hillbilly booze running pic. Sort of a riff on Brokeback mountain but with shitty cars and weak ass moonshine no one wants to drink.

    • ariel_gee_398

      O Brother Where Fart Thou.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    don’t give them ideas evan, an FBI agent who DOESN’T worship trump?!? Time for 8 investigations into whether the FBI is tainted by partisanship (just like Donnie tweeted!)

    ARGLEBARGLE!

  • Andre

    Gowdey should thank jesus everyday for involuntary muscles as they are the only thing that keeps this quasi-sentient pile of deep fryer scrapings animate.

  • goonemeritus

    I don’t think there are enough distractions in the world to save Trump at this point. I don’t know if he will serve out his term but I feel pretty confident I can predict what history will have to say about him.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      EWWWWWW!

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It will be known is the “America WTF?” period- that’s if there’s any history to be recorded at all

        • Bobathonic

          Yes, when “That Fuckin’ Guy” was president*.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    OT, but this was tweeted by Melania. Already deleted – but I got a screenshot!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fb0a47750f732be6b0e3180dede070ebc394a116334c2606964675d6690f58b9.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      Perhaps she was using the Slow-venian calendar…

      • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

        It’a only behind by a month.. whereas the Trumpian/Republican version is behind by a few centuries.

      • Andre

        Maybe she thinks that Mountain time also applies to the month as well>

    • Daniel

      I know! First they write it in the wrong order and second they don’t even know it was a Circle K that got hit.

    • ltmcdies
    • ariel_gee_398

      And such an unnecessary error. Mel, sweetie, Twitter will date stamp it for you. You could have left that part out entirely.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      At least they didn’t blame the Germans.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Remember Mel is from a country where they use Day-Month-Year, which could explain the confusion. On the other hand, I’d like to know what happened on the 11th of July 1941.

      • Spurning Beer

        Mel doesn’t do her own tweets. You know, the fingernails.

      • German forces captured Vitebsk, is all!

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Had a joke here, but decided to look up what did happen then. Among them many that set the stage for the U.S. entry into WWII. From Wikipedia:

      November 7, 1941 (Friday)

      – The Soviet hospital ship Armenia was sunk by German bombers while evacuating civilians and wounded soldiers from Crimea. As many as 7,000 people were killed in the sinking, making it one of the worst maritime disasters in history.
      – In an important symbolic event, Soviet troops marched in Red Square to commemorate the anniversary of the October Revolution as per the annual tradition. Soldiers taking part in the parade marched straight on to the front line.
      – The United States Senate voted 50 to 37 to amend the Neutrality Act to allow merchantmen to be armed and permit U.S. ships to enter combat zones.
      – The cargo ship MV Nottingham was sunk in the Atlantic Ocean by German submarine U-74.
      – Senior commanders of the Japanese Army and Navy were informed that the start of war against Britain and the United States was tentatively set for December 8 (Japanese time).
      – Bette Davis became the first female president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
      – Born: Angelo Scola, cardinal, in Malgrate, Italy
      – Died: Albin Zollinger, 46, Swiss writer

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Jeez, when Gowdy gets snippy I imagine he sounds like one of those dogs that debutantes like to carry around in purses.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Point of order: wouldn’t it be more damning if they DIDN’T fire the anti Trump guy?

    • ariel_gee_398

      If Trey Gowdy was concerned with logical points like that, he wouldn’t be a Republican.

  • Bigby

    He looks like his pores ooze Brylcreem.

    • BadKitty904

      He looks like something out of a Lovecraft story.

      • Daniel

        That picture was taken from life.

        • BadKitty904

          Surely Pickman could’ve found a better model…

    • nightmoth

      He looks like he’s only one generation removed from a shanty in Appalachia.
      (Almost feel sorry for him, but not quite.)

    • Ricky-pus gutted tub of guts
      • Ricky-pus gutted tub of guts

        Tres Gowdy!

        • Suttree

          Tres Gaudy also too.

  • Daniel

    Trey Gowdy: a brogue* left in a ditch during a hurricane, topped with the unblockings of the shower drain at the pensioners’ only gym.

    *wingtip for USians

  • Covfefe

    My spouse complained to me this morning that half the Republicans in Congress are obstructing, resisting and opposing Mueller’s investigation. She demands I explain why Mueller doesn’t indict half of Congress. Help. What do I say?

    • Paperless Tiger

      It ain’t over yet. Actually, I’d be surprised if some Congress critters don’t get sucked into the vortex before this investigation is over.

    • Andre

      Patience, and baby steps. The RECKONING will be coming, it should prove to be glorious.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      You don’t have to explain anything to the little woman. Explain to her patiently that you will concern yourself with these matters, and that she need not burden herself. She will thank you for this.

      • Andre

        Let me grab some popcorn so I can witness the implementation of this plan, BRB. And some safety goggles too, just in case.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        And where is that sammich you requested 10 minutes ago? Don’t forget that part.

        • Phoenixdoglover

          10 minutes is an awfully long time to make a simple sandwich. Perhaps there is an organizational problem in the kitchen that needs attention.

      • Covfefe

        My wife is not the sammich~type woman. I need more better help than this because telling her not to burden herself with these matters is not something I have the temerity to do.

        • Suttree

          I’ve had drinks thrown at me for less.

      • NastyBossetti

        This is the kind of thing MrBossetti only says to me from very far away, preferably far enough that I can’t even see him, lest I murder him with my eyes.

        • wavicles

          Cleveland?

    • jesterpunk

      Give him time.Mueller knows about Paul Ryan’s comments last year.

      https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/paul-ryan-keeps-it-family-kevin-mccarthy-russia-trump

    • Suttree

      He doesn’t have the time.

    • SDGeoff3

      He’s not in the mood.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      “Patience, my pet …”

  • BadKitty904

    Can we bill Gowdy & Co. personally for the millions of our tax dollars they’ve wasted on their Benghazi witchhunt?

    • Ellie

      But only after we get back the $70 million spent on Bill Clinton.

  • puredog

    Whatever twisted fantasies you may harbor about destructive fountains of Schmannity jizz, I’ll thank you to keep them to yourself.

  • Bad Tom

    Hillary Clinton’s private email server was the ONLY one that was not fucking hacked.

    Equifax, et. ali., should ask her for tips.

    • Suttree

      And it still wasn’t a fucking crime! Thanks for the late letter though Comey!

  • Ricky-pus gutted tub of guts

    Trey don’t cotton to no sass from womanfolk nor blahs.
    It makes him get all gowdy inside.

  • Michael Smith

    OT but I just saw someone share this on Facebook in complete earnest: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4536a582acf76092b2b4ae2b9b2d5a0801fabcb245b9d39e42d6cd46aaf7432b.jpg

    • Andre

      Hopefully they turned the location off, mighty embarassing for another Vladivostok ip showing up.

    • Rebel Scum with permit
      • Ellie

        I know who agrees with that. Retail customers who celebrate the “Christmas season,” by shoving each other out of the way to get at an item on sale, fight (literally) for parking space at the mall, call sales associates, “stupid,” and let them know they will be fired because The Customer Has Power, and before they leave the store, demand to be wished a “Merry Christmas,” and if they are not, the sales associate will be going straight to hell (after losing her job, of course), because JEEBUS!

    • Suttree

      Your all powerful gawd is a pussy if the effeminate mom jeans Bamz kicked his ass out.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      I am heartened by the fact that it is one suck-ass photoshop.

    • Me not sure

      I could be wrong, but I believe that at least one of those figures has been fotoshopped in.

      • Daniel

        That desk isn’t in the original picture.

        • Me not sure

          I knew it!

    • Daniel

      “How do we keep getting away with this?”
      “I think it’s possible this president he is not very smart, Vladimir.”

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      OMG. EYE ROLL

    • Daniel

      Gold fringe on the flag! Your argument is invalid!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
      • Me not sure

        Jesus, meets jizzus.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        aack. My eyes.

    • Suttree

      Also too, is Jesus getting an invisible blowjob?

      • Michael Smith

        Hahaa he looks very strange.

      • Daniel

        It is the second coming.

      • Lord Jim

        OK, crack on Trump all day, as he richly deserves it, but Jesus doesn’t. I understand snark is the name of the game and we have a bit of an edge on ours, but I’m pretty uncomfortable with this. :/

    • Paperless Tiger

      Nobody said nothing about them never.

    • Daniel

      “Donald, you invited him to my birthday?”
      “Bigly.”
      “…him?”

    • GoutMachine

      Christ, this is so fucking stupid on seven levels.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        dialed up to 11

        • Lord Jim

          Jacked up on two eightballs and a pint of Chevas.

      • Daniel

        It’s a scene from the Derpvine Comedy, book III: Paraderpo.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      There are so called ‘Christians’ who get offended by Starbucks cups but aren’t offended by this?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Ouch. I think I broke a rib from laughter.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      ‘We’re not here for you, asshole. We’re on the Obama tour.’

    • leemoder

      No way would Little Finger let a couple of Illegalz in the Oval.

    • george lastrapes

      The New Holy Trinity?
      Jesus wept.
      As He seems to be doing in this hilariously unintentional bit of sacrilege.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      A mall Santa they pulled out of a dumpster and Jared Leto?

  • Katamount

    That hair.

    • Daniel

      That ass.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Like a cracked dinner plate?

        • Daniel

          I meant more that he is an ass, but yeah yours too.

          • wavicles

            THAT ass?

          • SDGeoff3

            Ass me no questions…

          • Covfefe

            You only meant he is an ass? That’s what they all say.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I’m still hypnotized by that thing he thinks is some kind of beard. Have not even noticed the hair yet.

      • Katamount

        It’s like if the deadbeat brother from any number of romantic comedies fell into a suit and found himself in the House of Representatives…..

      • Suttree

        Yeah. I’m getting older and I still can’t grow one. I shave so I don’t look like a scumbag. Apparently not a priority of his.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          I grew mine out of protest on November 9, 2016! Although I always sported scruff prior to that.

      • george lastrapes

        The foreheads of Hannity and Miller, the crania of Stone and Loomer, Sessions’ ears, Gowdy’s whole head, the skin color of Tomi and the PeeResident- it’s as if they, the ones responsible for the RWneoNJ’s, whoever they are, have grown so confidant that they feel they can be careless with the workmanship of their humanoid constructs.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    OT: I saw on the Twitter machine that MSNBC has re-hired dreamy Sam Seder. Yay! mike Thernovith isth gonna be stho mad.

    • Andre

      Good! on both counts

    • Yay!!! Some badly-needed nicetimes!!!

    • jesterpunk

      They shouldn’t have fired him in the first place.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Agree. It was total bullshit. And his Tweet was clearly ON POINT — so I got tired of the gratuitous “Poor taste” prefacing of the tweet.

      • george lastrapes

        It’s like he caught a bad scold- fever, aches, runny nose- but he’s young and healthy.
        But the scolds are decimating the US Senate.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Good. That was a bum rap.

    • PubOption

      His exile has passed over.

    • Jackie Jackstein FTW

      Good! I signed that petition, thanks to our friendly neighborhood Wonkette. Cernovich is a dick.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        me too

        • Jackie Jackstein FTW

          The article I read said they got over 12,000 sigs. The whole thing was bullshit and the bullshitter was, as usual, Cernobitch.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • SDGeoff3

      As long as I don’t have to listen to him, he can say whatever he likes.

    • JordanLanham

      Yeah–turns out he told an off-color joke to an underage girl. BUT by the time he got to the punchline, she was 37, so…

      • keinsignal

        FYI I am stealing this.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      The former radio host wants a swift resolution of the matter and “with it expects a full restoration of his reputation…”

      Fine. We’ll restore your reputation that you’re boring as fuck.

  • BadKitty904

    Look everyone, Trey Gowdy is being a craven shitheel again.

    “Again” would imply that Trey Gowdy has ever stopped being s shitheel.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Yes, it should have been still.

  • John Iwaniszek

    Just looking at the guy’s eyes…does he have FAS?

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    This pointy headed fuck doesn’t even need a dunce cap. His is built in.

  • “What’s got the dead opossum pelt on his head all a-tingle?” Just had to wipe off my monitor and blow my nose after reading that–thanks Evan!

    • Crystalclear12

      You don’t have the Wonkette brand screen guard?!

      • NO!!! WHY WASN’T I INFORMED???

        • Lord Jim

          Are you at the $1000/month donation level? That might be it. :P

          • Lefty Wright

            I thought it was free with the purchase of a case of Wonkette Brand™ canned clams.

          • Lord Jim

            Well played…YOU MONSTER! XD

      • phoenix00

        Dammit, guess I need to up my donations.

  • Crystalclear12

    Thank you, Trey.
    As you know we have problems keeping our base motivated enough to vote but your stupidity is working beautifully.
    Do you mind if we use this letter in our ads?
    Sincerely,
    The Democratic Party.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Trey is a petty little douchebag wannabe. The motherfucker has the looks but lacks the wit and the swag to be a real douchebag. That’s what makes him so pathetic.

      • phoenix00

        “Troll”

  • Walter Wellstone

    That’s right, Trey, don’t do shit. Mueller will most likely take note of that and he will subpoena your ass for consipiring to obstruct justice when this shit sandwich comes out of its wrapping.

    • sarafina

      We can hope.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Thanks Trey, but your efforts to make me look like a crack committee chair in comparison aren’t working. Turns out, people understand that all Republican committee chairs are corrupt, useless assholes.”
    — Devin Nunes

    • phoenix00

      That’s far too much self-awareness out of Nimrod Nunes.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Speaking of servers, did they ever figure out why Trump had one connected to a Russian bank?

    • Daniel

      Turns out the whole thing was a plot for a Stanislaw Lem story. We weren’t really supposed to understand why it was there at all.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Ex parte” is what my former wife is doing with her alimony checks.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Or what Gowdy experiences when he combs his hair like that.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    MSNBC (yes you are forgiven for being mean to dreamy Sam Seder) showed vid footage literally of Flynn texting 11 minutes into the horror show inauguration speech. Mike Schmidt noted that no one in the Obama admin got in trouble for 8 years, and literally 11 minutes into the Dotard admin there is Mike Flynn quid pro quoing his ass off.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Grifters gonna grift.

    • eyelashviper

      It’s surprising that it took all of eleven minutes..

    • ((( Augustus )))

      DIDN’T GET IN TROUBLE??? THEN EXPLAIN:

      TAN SUITS

      DIJON MUSTARD

      GOLFING OCCASIONALLY

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Indictments

        • Edie

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          fl307:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleDailyNewsDiamondUpdateWorkFromHome/find/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fl307hh

      • phoenix00
    • Rags

      Obama was guilty of blah at 0 seconds into his term. FTW!

      • mappo

        “Presiding While Black”

  • fawkedifiknow

    I prefer to read the words of III Gowdy to having to listen to his red-necked, marble-mouthed, Dixie accented, ignorant tripe, at anytime. Fuck that weenie.

    • Covfefe

      Me, I’m still stuck on II Corinthians.

      • Opiwan

        I’d be happy to get a pry bar to help separate you from those II

        • themidniteskulker

          A kettle of water off the burner NOT TOO HOT!! may be efficacious.

    • phoenix00

      Don’t want both.

  • Jackie Jackstein FTW

    Trey needs a new hobby. I’d like to suggest auto erotic asphyxia.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “Okay, let’s make sure that ligature is nice and tight…*yanks on rope* There. Good! Now get fappin’. I’ll be back to check on you in an hour or so…”

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      He has precious little oxygen going to his brain already.

  • eyelashviper

    That pointy head, those beady eyes, and that weird stuff on his chin, it seems to be making an attempt to appear human, but once it opens its mouth, it’s clearly some form of pond scum from the runoff of a pig factory and a nuclear waste dump.

    • themidniteskulker

      il est tres, tres gowdy!

  • Covfefe

    I used to laugh and giggle, whenever I found myself in conversations with Canadians, about Tommy Douglas, the founder of Canada’s New Democratic Party and Keefer Southerland’s granddaddy. Douglas was a “social democrat” and, by the standards of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, a Communist. Among his sins were starting a proto~Medicare operation, a provincially owned electrical utility and an insurance company, and various and sundry additional offenses against the free market. The RCMP kept Tommy Douglas under surveillance for most of his life, trying to catch him doing something or other. Curses! Tommy Douglas’ only sin was trying to make Canada the nation it is today.

    Then there’s Donald.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      I like to think that one of the differences between us and Americans is that we LEARN from our mistakes.

      • mardam422

        Then explain poutine.

        • SDGeoff3

          Swedish Chef.

        • Raan

          POUTINE IS A GIFT FROM GOD AND I’LL THANK YOU NOT THE DISPARAGE IT.

          • mardam422

            Hey! I come from a place that puts french fries and cole slaw on their sandwiches. Don’t tell me I don’t know what a mistake is. Even if it is delicious.

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          Easy. It is nature’s second-most perfect food after pizza. Ambrosia is what the gods eat when they run out of poutine.

        • phoenix00
      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        I think it’s because you love learning from OUR mistakes. My sister married a Canadian, and believe you me, you people are insufferably nice and rational and in general superior, and don’t think you don’t let us know it every chance you get.

        • SDGeoff3

          We deserve it.

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          What fun is it if we don’t?
          Besides, that’s just an act we put on for Americans. Amongst ourselves we all sort of casually hate each other. It’s what makes this country great – divided we stand, united we fall.

        • phoenix00

          I thought we just apologized every chance we get.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      What…um…did Donald do? Or we’re you referring to Trump and not Donald Sutherland?

      • Covfefe

        Donald Southerland is Tommy Douglas’ grandson. Trump was not involved.

        • phoenix00

          Wait, JACK FUCKING BAUER was a sellout? CHILDHOOD. RUINED.

  • Non-Threatening Ron

    Trey, dear, check the expiration date on this. You might want to throw it out. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/660c439b488fbb62427993d901ea5ff6635bbc4e79b7194eabf0bee9049fb1fc.png

  • Holy fuck, as a professional I.T. person, let me say ONCE AGAIN that the entire “Private Email Server” canard was a double-patty nothing burger with a side of nothing fries, a big scoop of nothing-slaw and an extra-large vanilla nothingshake!

    If anything, the private Email server was MORE FUCKING SECURE, YOU TECHNOLOGICALLY ILLITERATE FUCKBAGS!

    • DensityDestiny

      I kept thinking that, too. Not an IT person, but IT literate enough to know that at that time, the out-dated, sprawling State Department network would be much harder to police and keep secure than one private email server.

    • SisterArtemis

      THANK YOU!
      The anti-Hillz crowd always act like this was some home computer sitting on the desk in her living room, available for anyone to play Candy Crush or do a little spyin’ – not so much. I think Clinton’s team made an educated guess that her communications would not only be more efficient, but more SAFE using the secured system designed for her in-home server. And they were probably right.

    • ScottGoode

      See, that’s the problem. She made her server too hard to penetrate by the Russian hackers. Obviously since she used more than a good prayer to protect her emails she must have been hiding something, right?

    • as a none IT person i have been saying this for at least the last year: she’s the ONLY FUCKING PERSON WHO DIDN’T GET FUCKING HACKED.

  • “As for your continued obsession with the strawberries, that’s… that’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with… geometric logic… that an email server DID exist, and I’d have produced that server if they hadn’t of shut down the investigation because we didn’t find jack s**t… [nervously rolls balls in palm]”

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      In Gowdy’s case, “Old Yellow Stain” is what he finds in his underwear after Cummings plasters his ass to the nearest wall.

  • Alice Peal

    Boy Howdy Trey Gowdy

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • Rags

    His hair is ex parte also too.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Republican members of House Oversight Committee on the way to another Benghazi vote. They just won’t quit.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7326a8da14f98b7e7ad9a4ed256898d7db4b1081dbe5c9bbd7c0c25ec6f65921.jpg

    • phoenix00

      That’s far too colorful.

      Hell even “monochromaticism” is too colorful.

  • Alan

    I’ll vote for technocracy. If someone votes for these idiots they are just plain too stupid to even vote in the first place.

  • whotookmymittens?

    I couldn’t get past the picture of McAuley Culkin. My confusion as to why said child is a legislator should be obbvious. I’ll come back after I read.

  • JordanLanham

    …If he shaves, he’s a shoo-in.

    menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com

  • Daniel Hooper

    “But it gives Republicans a squirrel to chase and a fresh new leg to hump, so it works.”
    As a wolf demigoddess, I am incredibly offended by this implication, Evan. Us canid-Americans would NEVER vote Republican!

  • azeyote

    lets get down to it and get the pee hooker tape out already – we can watch the republicans eat shit and claim it’s fudge

    • Bridget Malone

      That’s what the repukkkes have been doing to the country for decades.

  • going4baroque

    Eli’s Cumming, you better hide, girl
    https://youtu.be/K8SRD0FK2EE

    • Donna Mueller

      yeah but MAN, can those guys sing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • damn.

      that song and those pants.

      • SDGeoff3

        I’ve always said that Fashion Never Sleeps, but sometimes I forget the sixties.

  • Bangkok Taxi

    That has to be the best lic ever of Pouty Gowdy El Tres’
    Straight out of the backwoods of Deliverance.

  • Ninja0980

    Go away you howdy doody reject.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Between the pin head and the porcupine whiskers, I’m not sure that Gowdy is really human.

  • Donna Mueller

    every time i see his picture, i hear the theme song from “DELIVERANCE”.

  • PixieThis

    Every time I’m watching old episodes of Forensic Files and his stupid face comes on, I can’t believe the people of his state ever voted him into office.

    • Moar Wordz

      Gowdy waz a actor ?
      On Forensic Files ?!?
      Guess he had lots o’ practice for exhuming dead Benghazis

  • Yellow_Dog_Dem

    Why does he always look like he cut his hair with a Flobee?

    • wait! what?

      He uses a roomba.

      • phoenix00

        Can’t even be bothered to do it himself.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Flowbee LIBELZ!!!!!,1,1!<,1!!!!,1!1

      I think he's the guy who used the Weed Whacker straight out of the box without reading the instructions.

      • Sakonyachen

        Garden Weasel maybe?

        • NotConvinced

          When Sarah Chucklesbee answers questions outside of the WH
          everybody refers to her as “Garden Weasel”

          • Sakonyachen

            This may not be snark.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      It’s a bowl cut, but the bowl refused to participate.

  • Mavenmaven

    The scary part is that one starts to believe that Gowdy actually believes the s*** he says.

    • Keith Taylor

      The really scary part is that there seem to be LOTS of people who actually believe the s*** Trey Gowdy says. And Trump, Flynn, Sanders, Old Uncle Tom Cobleigh and all.

  • Marla

    It’s like Trey cut his eyes out, and tried to paste them closer together so he can’t see beyond his own bullshit.

    • Ducksworthy

      That’s not fair. Trey’s momma had that there swamp Zika. Or her own momma’s son. We ain’t shore.

  • On a related note, Tucker Carldon can really ask this with a straight face?

    https://twitter.com/TuckerCarlson/status/938579453957066752?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

    • CATMAN

      But he can do it staring into the camera with his mouth hanging open

    • Collusion.
      Hope that helps!

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      complicity, collaboration, connivance, scheming….

      Get a Thesaurus, you dumb motherfucker.

    • DrBigHead

      Money laundering? Collusion? Racketeering? Collusion? Determining just how unbelievably stupid Trump and the Trumpettes are? Collusion?

      • Ducksworthy

        What’s the word for selling out your country? Oh yeah. Treason. That’s it Tukfucker. Its about Treason.

      • Keith Taylor

        All of the above, I’d say. And yeah, yeah, yeah, wingnuts, we do all know that “collusion” isn’t a formal legal charge made in the proper legal lingo, that the proper charge might be “conspiracy to subvert the U.S. electoral process with the aid of a foreign country” or something like that, or even just the good old “tax evasion” on which they got Capone and Agnew.
        The catalogue of valid and proper legal charges may yet turn out to be longer than the Moscow-Vladivostok railway line.

    • shocktreatment

      Even with a straight face, Tuckles the client’s is still crooked

    • phoenix00

      #Fucker

  • CATMAN

    I’d nominate Gowdy for the “Asshole of the Year” award but it seems the Trump administration many more and deserving candidates

    • shocktreatment

      We need a runoff

    • phoenix00

      You’d need a tournament. And the contestants never eliminate.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      “He is famous for being named ‘Biggest Asshole in Congress 2017,’ and as you can imagine, that’s up against some pretty stiff competition.”

      Ah, thank you once more, Ben Elton and Richard Curtis, for writing so good I’m able to paraphrase it.

  • yyyaz

    Are you proud of yourselves, South Carolina, for electing this pissheaded moran to fuck up us libruls and destroy our country in the process? What’s that, this wouldn’t be the first time you tried to destroy the country? My bad.

    • irishdave3

      Have you forgotten that’s the land of Cheesus and Crackas?

  • Shaydee

    Good effing god this male person is ugly. He looks like he wasn’t fully formed yet at birth.

    • phoenix00

      He’s still not fully formed.

  • Keith Taylor

    Should Trey Gowdy still be walking around free? Or Erik Prince either? I’m certainly not a lawyer, and also a bit inclined to fantasy, but aren’t genetically modified weasels and sadistic flesh-eating reptoid aliens who impersonate human beings breaking the law?

    • phoenix00

      Reptoid aliens libelz!!!!

  • Impatient

    The History Channel’s “Tora, Tora, Tora” documentary points out that the country, upset at the errors leading to the December 7th military debacle, held EIGHT CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS on Pearl Harbor. About 3000 died that day, so that Republicans can now use similar hearings as a cudgel, to enable the continued GOP sale of our country to the enemy.

    Shame is extinct in the GOP.

  • mary5920

    How did people mark their ballots for this person? He is an ugly version of Martin Short’s character Ed Grimley.

    • phoenix00

      Republican. Ugly is a feature, not a bug.

      • mary5920

        Still. Ed Grimley should sue him for identity theft.

        • phoenix00

          And he very well should.

  • shocktreatment

    Hey now, that possum pelt Howdy Doody sports is medically necessary, covers that point on his head.
    People might think he’s suffering deformities from forceps or vacuum delivery otherwise

  • Debmcd

    What a photo of ole Trey. Greasy pigman. YUUUUUUCK. He’s nothing more than a sack of rat crap anyway. Who cares what he thinks if he thinks at all. It seems these days the GOP share one mind and nobody knows from day to day who is using it.

  • SeeTrainOffTheRails

    “Lop-headed Javert.” Charlie Pierce has the knack, god damn it.
    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a14379244/michael-flynn-nuclear-reactors-middle-east/

  • sweet freedom

    Why does this guy always look like he’s been pulled head first from out of a rhino’s ass?

  • marymargaret1

    He looks like something out of Deadwood.

  • Subliberal

    I know we’re not supposed to comment on peoples’ looks as possible clues to their personality defects, but I swear to God, that Gowdy fellow needs to shave his head naked bald, in hope of the possibility it will cool his overcooked brain.

  • NotConvinced
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