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We saw a thing on the internet where it said Ginni Thomas, wife of SCOTUS Justice Clarence “Who Pubed My Coke” Thomas, had given Important Journalist James “Who Pubed My Dildo Love Boat, Aw Shucks It Was Probably Me” O’Keefe an award for Defending Puberty, which made no sense to us, because we don’t think you’re allowed to defend something you haven’t even completed yet (at least as far as we can tell).

But the guy who tweeted the thing has a blue checkmark and everything, so we guess it’s true:

OH FIDDLESHITS! Did we read that wrong? We must need new glasses.

O’Keefe doesn’t deserve an award for “Defending Liberty” either, but fuck if we’re gonna spend 400 words explaining why. (Google “James O’Keefe” + “Wonkette” for the correct answer!)

OK Wonkers. It’s your open thread. Talk about how James O’Keefe has no business being called a defender of puberty or liberty, or just share recipes and .gifs like you always do. We don’t care. BYE!

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  • ManchuCandidate

    The award is a can of coke with pubic hair glued on it and spray painted gold.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I’m going to make a brilliant and insightful comment just as soon as my head stops spinning.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    The circle jerk proceeds apace.

  • armed_bears

    I own goats who have done more to defend liberty than O’Keefe.

    But that was an earlier thread.

    • weighmaster

      and they did it adorably

    • Goats eat garbage, O’Keefe vomits garbage.

      • armed_bears

        Goat libelz. :{

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Querolous

      Is a “theif” someone who “staels”?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Are we sure it didn’t say “taking liberties”?

  • Blackest Noobs

    if Al is being asked to resigned so should Clarence….SO SHOULD CLARENCE!!!!!

    • jesterpunk

      So should footy pajama guy.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Fat Fuck Farenthold?

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah him.

    • Ricky-pus gutted tub of guts

      He is a conservative, so your point is moot.

      • Ricky-pus gutted tub of guts

        /s

      • Blackest Noobs

        actually no..it’s not a MOOT point.
        bring the outrage, IT WILL HAPPEN.

        • Ricky-pus gutted tub of guts

          Where/when is the Meetup?

          • Blackest Noobs

            at the In/Out Burger, tomorrow, 11:56 greenwich mean time.

          • You misspelled sandwich

    • BadKitty904

      Al has a conscience. No one can tell if Clarence is even still alive.

      • Blackest Noobs

        he did finally asked a question cuz DEAD Scalia.

    • grindstone

      Franken should not step down. I’m pissed at the environment of male entitlement, but damn one set of standards for them, another for us. When Trump, Farenthild, Thomas, and that SC governor step down, then Franken should.

    • Pluto Animus

      Sure, let’s wish for Thomas to resign, so Trump can replace him with someone just as bad, but 30 years younger….

      Nah, I don’t think so.

  • Andre

    He even got a sign for his front lawn. Defending that libety, A James O’Keefe Jounaminamalism Masterpiece. http://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/libety-or-tranny.jpg

    • armed_bears

      Libety or Tranny?

      Yes.

    • James Baskin

      Tranny. Definitely tranny.

    • Blackest Noobs

      also, Tranny, ALWAYS mutherfuckers!

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        But Libety is kinda cute in a nerdy girl justice sorta way …

    • Blanche de Shambles

      That sign is just terrible.

      First of all, she prefers the terms “transgender person” or “trans woman.”

      Secondly, Libety is just a meth-head from that trailer park outside of Louisville, who has convictions for check forging, and wears too much make-up.

      Of course I’m going to choose Miss Jean. Why is that even a question?

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Libety, Oregon, has never been known for it’s scholars, let alone hookup joints.

      There is the Shell station restroom, tho.

  • schmannity

    If I drunk dial Anita Hill tonight, I can haz award too?

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    hoo boy — Ginni is batshit.

    • Joe Beese

      Her marrying Clarence Thomas would have been your first clue.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    I just discovered this, and it’s one of my new favorite things: Zapp Brannigan quotes as if they’d been said by Gul Dukat.

    http://the-guls-itch.tumblr.com/

    It is perfect.

    https://78.media.tumblr.com/716b2401f7340c51bcd78f0634eb7b75/tumblr_nuw625btaU1uy8195o1_1280.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Black women, paving the way to save the country since forever.

      Thank you Anita.

      • Parakeetist

        Amen

  • Joe Beese

    This irresponsible use of taxpayer dollars is proof that we should slash funding to NASA, scientific research, and education in general.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/65209154c28eff85b1cdba2c391ea96358f95addb2c0d8a34d7c6e6718074036.png

    https://apnews.com/bb01c90f083b4855800ac6eb18ac3770

    • schmannity

      Needz more Charter Space Stations

    • Nockular cavity

      SPACE PIZZA!

      • BadKitty904

        Jinx! You beat me to it!

    • BadKitty904

      SPACE PIZZA!!1! USA! USA!! USA!!!

      (Dang, did the space-dude on the right use enough pepperoni, ya think?)

      • Joe Beese

        The amount of pepperoni can approach, but never reach, Enough.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Alex Jones was right! THERE ARE PIZZAGATE PARLORS IN SPACE!!!

        https://www.rawstory.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Alex-Jones-410×220.jpg

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Spread that photo far and wide, with a note to the effect that it’s his O-face. Just on the off chance that there is still a human of the lady persuasion who would otherwise enlist to help him spawn Joneslets.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            I thought Ann Coulter was a barren lizard creature.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Reptlibelz!

      • It’s a “Cured” meat…of what?

        • BadKitty904

          Onis.

      • tomamitai

        Looks like just the right amount to me.

        Why yes, I do have frequent heart burn, how did you guess? ;)

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    I care.

    Zango, the very concerned about Wonkette.

    Concerned!

    x 5.

    • Gosala

      Concerned Crudmonger is concerned.

      Noted.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I think the award was for “deficating leakily,” but I also too may have read that wrong.

  • Tiffany de Houston

    OT: I just saw a local news clip of Melon speaking before a crowd in south Texas today. She is about as illiterate as her husband. Refering to Greg Abbott, she pronounced his name as “AH but”. Dumb bitch.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    It worser than even Evan related. This ceremony happened at Trump International Hotel in DC.

    ‘I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor and Ginni was just some moistened bint who had lobbed a scimitar at O’Keefe, they’d put me away!’

    http://thehill.com/homenews/media/363623-clarence-thomass-wife-presents-award-to-conservative-activist-who-tried-to

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “OK Wonkers. It’s your open thread. Talk about how James O’Keefe has no business being called a defender of puberty or liberty, or just share recipes and .gifs like you always do. We don’t care. BYE!”

    https://youtu.be/atM9ZQK7OSo

    • Blanche de Shambles

      IT STINKS!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    or just share recipes and .gifs like you always do. We don’t care. BYE!

    Good, the adults are gone. Now to make those bombs I was taking about. You are going to want to get a shed far away from your house in case something goes wrong.

    • BadKitty904

      I was just going to suggest we jump on the furniture and eat cereal out of the box…

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        You idea sounds funner.

      • armed_bears

        Or “the weekly standard’, as it is known around here.

        • BadKitty904

          Alternating with the pillow fort.

      • weighmaster

        You know the floor becomes lava when you do that…

        • BadKitty904

          Cool!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    And another post I just skipped over lightly. Look, I know the past ten months have been a shitstorm of horribleness, but couldn’t we have at least one good thing? Those of us who have dealt with this bullshit deserve this.

    https://youtu.be/MkR8GY2YBAU

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’m buying a hard copy of that issue at the newsstand (yes, some of those things still exist) to support that choice!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        And then let the subscription to Koch Magazine lapse.

    • Joe Beese

      I could have done without their breathless description of Ashley Judd as “looking every inch a movie star in high heels”.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Yup, way to go Koch Magazine… objectifying a rape victim in a front-page article about rape victims speaking out against male-gaze objectification and rape culture. This shit never ends…

      • Joe Beese

        (Also – and I know this makes me a bad person – I just can’t stand Rose McGowan’s “I was just hit in the face” pose. She deserves eternal credit for being in the vanguard and weathering blows that ended up sparing other women. But it’s a note of self-dramatization that none of these other women found necessary.)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Right. Because delivery really matters. So glad you picked up on that. And yes, I’m being sarcastic. Because if the victim doesn’t act like how you want, it doesn’t really count.

          • Joe Beese

            I don’t think you can reasonably translate ” deserves eternal credit for being in the vanguard and weathering blows that ended up sparing other women” to “doesn’t really count”.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            “…it’s a note of self-dramatization that none of these other women found necessary.” Also, “pose”.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Well, the shots are poses, obviously. The photog just picked the wrong one in her case.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Good try. Thanks. Still doesn’t make that other person’s comment okey-dokey with me.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I will reserve my opinion of Alabama until after the 13th.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Maybe there’s hope for Alabam yet? I don’t want to get my hopes up because of the high wingnut quotient there, though.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Outside of Huntsville, isn’t AL like the rest of the south?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Frankly, there’s a better level of conversation at the Waffle House, too.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Comprehension and adherence to topic might be a little shaky, tho…

    • ryp

      Just because they’ll vote for him, doesn’t mean they want to be seen in public with him.

    • Joe Beese

      The Judge didn’t have bacon, so it wasn’t really a fair contest.

    • Me not sure
    • grindstone

      I believe a lot of free tickets were snapped up by the opposition, so much so that they had to open it up ticketless late in the game. Shame, that.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Was that the Waffle House at the Mall, cause Roy’s not allowed to set foot in there.

    • Don’t get overconfident good people (?) of Alabama…
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54b27ed1f5706e6fff6049627e6e6be150e1f04e87f6181b4fcf30defdafb998.png
      Bigots prefer the darkness, not harsh fluorescent lighting.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • BadKitty904

      Turmp’s Amerikkka…

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I hope all the animals around that area were rescued before the fires… :/

    • idiotboy

      This is scaring the shit out of me. We live in the middle of the forest in the Sierra and have done so for 90% of my adult life.

      It has always been a gamble, knew that from day one, but this year has me on edge. We are OK now it is winter and we have a tiny bit of snow on the ground, but right now it looks like another drought year. Cannot keep up with the dead trees around our home, dropping a couple every month like it will do any good.
      The only plan is to run like hell to the lake and wait for rescue. Hopefully save the cats.

      I grew up down the road from that video, used to ride my bike over Sepulveda to the beach in the late 60’s early 70’s. My mother is a docent at the Getty.

      • “Didn’t anybody warn ya? The hills turn brown in the summertime”

        Every year it doesn’t rain in California during the summer. 🙄

  • Shan
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I dunno, is it worth batting around the cra-cray Bible thumper from the escaping denture thread any further? She has since responded to one of my lame-ass comments about Jerusalem and Palestine and Allah, and I almost want to mock her more, but she’s pretty lame TBH. Decisions, decisions…

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Might I suggest holiday music?

      • Ricky-pus gutted tub of guts

        Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?

      • BadKitty904
      • shivaskeeper

        I wouldn’t. I would post nothing that would potentially bring joy to trolls.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I’ve been focusing on Solstice and Hannakah. Oh, also too Kwanzaa.

          • shivaskeeper

            Still. It might be a catchy tune. Even if they don’t like the message they might tap a foot to the beat or something. Too close to providing them joy.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            If they tap a foot to not-christmas music, it will cause existential dread. I’m okay with that.

          • shivaskeeper

            I see the plan. Very good.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I actually love this one. Happy Hannakah!

            https://youtu.be/DtlLHwk9_Rw

          • Querolous

            Only ten more shopping days’till Saturnalia!

        • Chipmunk song then

    • shivaskeeper

      She has not answered me. Beat the snot out if her. If she does answer me, I plan on doing that until I get bored of it, or I get blocked by the religious troll.

      If I’m lucky I’ll be able to cause a crisis of its paper thin faith.

      • Ricky-pus gutted tub of guts

        A worthy life goal!

        • shivaskeeper

          I’m easily amused. My particular engagement style lends itself to them blocking me on occasion. And I don’t even swear or call them names or anything.

    • CripesAmighty

      Oooh, this sounds fun (heading over)…

  • george lastrapes

    ‘Apocalypse’ literally means ‘unveiling’, and that seems to be what is going on now. No more keeping it under the covers. Treason? A smart business model. Money laundering?Hurry up and slap my wrist, I’m due back at work. Sexual impropriety? Let me remind you that I’m a Republican!
    So Ms. Thomas is giving O’Keefe an award? In public? Does that mean no more Mercer minions delivering brown paper bags full of lightly-starched c-notes?

  • Crystalclear12

    Are daily reminder that we live in a fucked world.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • BosGrl

      Wow.

    • Prollynottoday

      Well at least that is something. Try getting around NYC by subway.

  • BosGrl
    • Shan

      I saw that.

      MOMMMM!!! HE KEEPS TOUCHING MEEEE!

      • BosGrl

        The toucher should have just kept pretending to touch the touchee.

        • I would have. I would have stuck my finger a half inch from his ear and left it there.

          • Shan

            That’s funny! I didn’t have siblings to do that dumb stuff with.

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            I’m not touching you!

        • weighmaster

          I’M NOT TOUCHING YOU!!!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Overcompensation. Yer soaking in it.

    • BadKitty904

      The straight dudes I know don’t have to tell others that they’re straight. Just sayin’…

    • Blanche de Shambles

      What’s the over/under on number of days before he’s found with a boy-toy in some seedy motel room?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Is he over or under the boy-toy? I need that info for the equation.

    • Blackest Noobs

      i would love to punch that guy in the nads, and say what’s wrong bro, us heteros do that all the time, BRO TIME!!!

      • Eileen Besse

        THIS

    • Michael R
    • nosuchuser

      Probably more like ‘hey! we’re not at the convention yet, you’ve got to wait…’

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The lady doth protest too much.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Projects much?

  • tomamitai

    O’keefe defending truth and liberty, in his imagination: https://youtu.be/CdE4pS997nQ

  • CripesAmighty

    There is no bottom. They will continue to drag us all down until the universe recollapses into a singularity.

    • BadKitty904

      Or until WE stop them.

    • Me not sure

      …and then that collapses.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      It’s McTurtles all the way down?

  • Prollynottoday

    I hart Evan.

  • Me not sure

    It turns out that it doesn’t count unless she’s wearing her foam Lady Liberty tiara. Thanks for playing our game. Better luck next time.

  • Gorillionaire

    I BELIEVE ANITA HILL.

    • BearGHAZI

      That judge will rot in hell!

  • Scooby

    He misspelled it, the award was for Defeating Liberty.

  • sosuume
    • Blackest Noobs

      is Trump a meth head? I hear they lose teeth.

      • BadKitty904

        Nah, syphilitic…

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I have some more location suggestions for adhesives too..

    • Blackest Noobs

      listen Donnie, I’ll do your dental work, but first, i have a question, “is it safe?”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqrpPaNm8yw

      • Querolous

        I saw that movie the day before my first root canal.

  • So….defending liberty is now a dog whistle for just the opposite?

    • Only liberty to idiots

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Ignorance is bliss, war is peace on earth in Jerusalem, and kindness is next to cuckiness. Welcome to the Upside-Down Bass-Ackwards. Truth is Stranger Things than Fiction. Abandon all hope, change, and any of those cakes you like, ye who enter here.

  • mrFawkes

    Clarence Thomas was unavailable for comment on his wife’s award because Fat Tony is still dead.

  • Raan
  • Holly

    James O’Keefe should be lying on a metal cot in orange striped PJ’s somewhere fending off his cell mate Bubba’s advances….Golly, while I’m on this roll there’s a whole bunch of O’Keefe character actors that should be as fashionably dressed and living inside comfy metal bars with a superfine relative of Bubba’s. The preferred lodgings would have to be located in the Great State of Alabama, because of course, and especially now with Roy Moore as a neighbor? It just doesn’t get any better.

    • Shan

      Dude. No.

      • Holly

        What? Too subtle?

        • Shan

          Prison rape jokes are not cool.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Too rapey. I know you have a good heart. But let’s not go there please?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • WomanInThePersistence

      Love you. Really. Because you’re a peach.

      • Holly

        When I get really worked up and mad I don’t always think. I really am sorry. I’m more of a prune than a peach.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Nonsense. And i really appreciate that you changed that post. Thank you. You are a good person, who listens. There are several regular posters who I wish would follow your example. And for you, *hugs*.

          • Holly

            Thank you very much for that. I’m a reactionary moran at times. I wish I’d learn from my mistakes, but sadly I’m as stubborn as a mule sometimes (most of the time).

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Heaven knows we all have our moments. You are good people. Please believe me when i say that.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      It happens. You owned it and corrected…

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Alright adults, get back in here: Trump Jr. says he communicated first with Hope Hicks, not his father, about Trump Tower response

    I call Bullshit.

    • Changeling

      Where’s that from?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      “Jr Lix Hix Fix”

      Look, intelligent headlines aren’t easy.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Jeez, even Variety is all over the Russia probe now.

    • bbayliss

      Communicating with Hope Hicks IS communicating with trump.

    • Crystalclear12

      A Trump lie!
      I am shocked!

    • Crystalclear12

      Well, his dad was in the same bed but hope is the one that answered.

      WHY THE HELL DID I JUST TYPE THAT?
      OH GOD, THE IMAGES!

  • Scooby

    So, I accepted an offer on my condo. Soon I will be pretending I am from some other country in some other country.

  • BadKitty904

    All this illustrates is that Ginni Thomas is just as contemptible as her husband.

  • http://img.picturequotes.com/2/782/781028/in-vain-these-economic-royalists-seek-to-hide-behind-the-flag-and-the-constitution-in-their-quote-1.jpg

    In vein the tyranny and subjugation from the Three Over Privileged & Underbred Empires who are the Boss Kings of the uneducated, ignorant mob of hicks, hayseeds, rubes, marks, and dupes who elected Trump.

    They. Will. Destroy. 🇺🇸

  • Notreelyhelping

    Denturegate reminds me of a story. Once upon a time, I went in to have a cavity filled, and this woman came in with a “dental emergency” (I didn’t want to know and still don’t). So my dentist says, “I have to take care of this. How about I shoot you with Novocain and you come back in 20?”

    I say sure, thinking: hell, there’s a bar across the street. I can have a beer and read the paper. So I do so, and the first glass goes down pretty smooth. The bartender asks if I want another.

    “Yeth, shure. Thath wuth goodth.”

    “Sorry, buddy. You are cut off.”

  • Joe Beese

    Maybe Al Franken should announce tomorrow morning that instead of resigning he’s switching parties. Then he could continue to serve indefinitely.

    https://hotair.com/archives/2017/12/06/ben-sasse-nrsc-re-endorses-roy-moore-im/

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I dunno about that. Unless he’s BFFs with Bibi and wants to nuke the Arabs for Jesus, the NSGOP isn’t exactly too fond of having, y’know… (((comedians))) in their party. The rank (stench)-and-file voters from scum salt-of-the-earth places like Klan County, Alabama and Berlin, Mississippi would get all economically anxious also too.

  • TJ Barke

    O’Keefe is a parasite that defends exploitation and privilege. In a just world, he’d be digging ditches.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Soft hands. He wouldn’t last two days.

    • bupkus231

      “O’Keefe is a parasite that defends exploitation and privilege”

      That’s WHY Ginni Thomas was celebrating him.

  • Changeling

    Finland is a hundred years old today!

    https://youtu.be/baHsoEAAMZU

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Guys, I done got accused of being a sock puppet on another forum, :-)

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      You’re the cleanest sock I’ve ever done seen.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        I know, right? I could just point them to my disqus account. 5700+ posts to establish a sock puppet on a gaming forum!

    • BadKitty904

      Is that an insult?

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Apparently, I’m the sock puppet of a guy who is on my side, but I don’t always agree with.

        Because whatever.

        • BadKitty904

          umm…

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Really? That’s odd.

    • Keep in mind it is all projection to them, and they judge based on their own actions.

    • Nockular cavity

      Just tell ’em “Sock puppet! Sock puppet! You’re the sock puppet!”

    • shivaskeeper

      Are you even real? There is no way to tell here as comments aren’t even allowed. If only we had comments I could tell. Oh well.

      FFS, at one point here with a troll having a meltdown, a whole bunch of us got accused of being sockpuppets of each other.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        It is kinda funny, isn’t it?

        Also, yeah, nothing to link. No comments allowed here at Wonkette. Plus, it might attract a non-commenter who posts with pants on.

        • shivaskeeper

          I am wearing pants. Wrangler jeans to be exact. But I am not home yet. Technically that is a good excuse.

          • IS NOT A GOOD EXCUSE.
            You shall now do two macaranas and three fandangos as penance.
            <—woulda been a fucking awesome priest

          • shivaskeeper

            No.

          • No really, I would have. Except for the tits.
            They are not keen on tits on a priest. Their loss.

          • shivaskeeper

            No dancing. Have pity on the people who might witness it.

          • redarmyzombie

            Dawn French Libelz!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          “Pants””?

          • weighmaster

            Do stretchy leggings count as pants?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I hope not. And sweatpants definitely don’t. At least during winter.

          • weighmaster

            I discovered stretchy leggings that look like denim, so I broke up with denim.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Oh, Wolfy. I am so not nostalgic.

    • proudgrampa

      Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  • tehbaddr

    Conservative shills will pat each other on the back. In other news dog bites man!

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Shit! I must live under a rock or something. I had no idea puberty was under attack.

    • cmd resistor

      Ask Roy Moore about that.

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    “Liberty?” Gag me.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Make America Gag Again!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Mission Accomplished.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    The Ginger Hammer gets paid. With bonuses and performance escalators, Goddell’s contract could end up around $200 million over the next 5 years.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/938536417302601728

    • BadKitty904

      Beats workin’ for a livin’!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Pete Rozelle.

      RIP

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Fuck Roger Goodell.

      Needed to be said.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The owners couldn’t find a cheaper way to tell Jerry Jones to fuck off?

  • Joe Beese

    Tina Dupuy, a journalist and former Democratic congressional staffer, on Wednesday alleged that Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) groped her at a party in 2009. …

    “We posed for the shot. He immediately put his hand on my waist, grabbing a handful of flesh. I froze. Then he squeezed. At least twice,” Dupuy said. …
    Dupuy said Franken’s “familiarity was inappropriate and unwanted.”

    “It was also quick; he knew exactly what he was doing,” she said. “He wanted to cop a feel and he demonstrated he didn’t need my permission.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/journalist-says-franken-groped-her-at-2009-party

    • Joe Beese

      Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) denied a report Wednesday that he had decided to resign the following day.

      http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/report-source-franken-to-resign-thursday

      • Joe Beese

        Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) on Wednesday called for Sen. Al Franken (D-MN), who numerous women have accused of sexual misconduct, to resign.

        “Senator Franken should resign,” Schumer said in a statement. “I consider Senator Franken a dear friend and greatly respect his accomplishments, but he has a higher obligation to his constituents and the Senate, and he should step down immediately.”

        http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/schumer-calls-for-al-franken-to-resign

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          But it wouldn’t surprise that he will continue and allow the investigation to continue.

          Because Roger Stone knew way before anyone else.

    • SadDemInTex

      I did not realize belly fat was erotic….

      • Joe Beese

        Trust me.

        (And I don’t call myself “Joe Beese” because I’m left handed.)

        • SadDemInTex

          I know so little about the world…I thought that was your name.😳

          • Joe Beese

            The missus and I are built for comfort rather than speed, as the song goes. So we figured that if ever go on the lam, we’ll check into motels as Joe and Flo Beese.

          • SadDemInTex

            Oh….I just got it!!!!

      • Shan

        Everybody likes somethin.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Chubby Chasers. It’s a thing.

      • Prollynottoday

        Yeah, we didn’t get 6 1/2 billion of us with just SI and GQ body types mating. Everyone is sexy for someone. Of course, sometimes ya might have to wait ’til closing time, but patience IS a virtue !

        • SadDemInTex

          The thing is I’m not svelte but my lovers have never been into that…should I be bummed?

    • yyyaz

      So now “copping a feel” no longer refers to grabbing the T or A regions of a woman’s body? I am an old and confuzed non-groper.

      • Nockular cavity

        Yeah, I’m sorry, grabbing by the waist may or may not be inappropriate, but it ain’t “groping.”

    • redarmyzombie

      Okay, I’m sorry. I’m pretty disgusted with Fraken’s behavior, and I feel there should be consequences for his actions, but this is just fucking ridiculous. Maybe it’s because I’m a man who hasn’t experienced sexual harassment (actually, I have, but not on the scale most women have I’ll bet) but come the fuck on. This. Is. Bullshit.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Was her tone appropriate? Did she have a pose that met with your standards?

  • Thiazin Red

    Oh awesome, now Kennedy thinks that having to give your employees training about non-discrimination laws is a violation of the first amendment.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2017/12/neil_gorsuch_s_radical_first_amendment_theory_could_sabotage_civil_rights.html

    • Ellie

      See, it’s the 21st century, and Kennedy and his family no longer have to worry about discrimination against and persecution of Roman Catholics. IOW, “I’ve got mine, Jack. Now root hog, or die.”

  • SadDemInTex

    Rupert Murdoch’s home in BelAir is burning🔥💩

  • covfefesumgame0005

    I bet Putin loves the gummy bj he gives him (google it if you dare!)

    • Crystalclear12

      Nope, nope, nope

      • covfefesumgame0005

        I did warn you! :P

  • Joe Beese

    Harvey Weinstein and the Weinstein Company are the subjects of a new class-action lawsuit in federal court that accuses them of a pattern of racketeering to cover up Weinstein’s alleged serial sexual assaults.

    The plaintiffs, six women, seek to be certified as a class to sue on grounds of racketeering, civil battery, assault, and intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress. All six women say Weinstein sexually assaulted them when they auditioned for him or met him at a company-sponsored events.

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/weinstein-accused-of-racketeering-in-class-action-lawsuit

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Another reason Israel sucks: Weinstein hired Mossad thugs to spy on his victims.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Talk about how James O’Keefe has no business being called a defender of puberty or liberty,”

    Hey, you know who else got awards for attributes he never possessed (except in the fevered dreams of corrupt, fascist propagandists)?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Trump, when he won the Violent Femmes’ Manchildren’s “Big Hands, I Know You’re the One” award?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        speaking of which, cracked.com had a photo where Trump had won a senior’s golf tournament six years in a row…at his own golf course.

        Ahem.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I prefer this photo of the Trump golf course myself.

          https://janeygodley.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/trumpcunt800x546-650×265.jpg

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i like the segment with the really gorgeous british gal from Sam bee’s show…I’d watch it again, but it would just make me sad.

          • Captain Kraut

            That is indeed a delightful young lady.

            Another delightful British lady, if of a different kind, is this one (paired with the ever enlightening Mr. Barry Shitpeas, no less):
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4vuUfnTEkg

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’m a sucker for women – but ladies who speak english WITH an irish, scottish, english, or aussie accent.

            SIGN ME UP!

          • Captain Kraut

            The guy at the end of the video is Charlie Brooker, whose brilliance is only surpassed by his grumpiness, creator of Black Mirror and, one of my all time favorites, Dead Set, a British TV mini series. It’s Big Brother™ eviction night and…the zombie apocalypse happens!
            Great, tight drama, on target media critique and one of my favorite movie/tv heroines ever, check it out if your job leaves you time to chill some.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            p.s. I love that the poor lady accidentally calls John McCain, John McClane!

            “Welcome to the party pal!”

    • redarmyzombie

      Ferdinand Marcos?

  • SadDemInTex

    I mentioned downthread that Rudolph Murdoch’s house in BelAir is on fire and I want to add that EVERYONE must seek out Tracey Ullman’s parodies of Murdoch, Jerry, and his children. You will laugh…and god knows we need it.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I feel no sorrow (as long as no living thing in the house was hurt) because he will get a HUGE tax write-off, which I did not get when I lost my house to Hurricane Katrina because Congress did away with the income-averaging law in 1986.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        god help us – he’ll probably get FEMA assistance.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Maybe, or maybe he won’t want it. During Hurricane Katrina the MAXIMUM you could get from FEMA was about $26,000, and that was only if the entire house washed away or collapsed. My $120,000 house just flooded with 8 feet of water for a week, ruining everything in it and making it completely uninhabitable, so they gave me $19,500. I took it. I doubt Murdoch will bother, as that would not even pay for landscaping at his mansion.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            friend, rich people don’t get get rich turning down free money.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            True, but FEMA tells you that YOU – the actual owner of the house on the title deeds – have to met them in person at the site at their convenience for the qualifying inspection. Murdoch would have to do this personally (unless they give exemptions to rich people), and he might be too busy. I actually had to show ID and a copy of the title to the inspector on the site. The house also has to be your primary residence, which means you live there more than six months out of the year.

            Wow, I just had a thought…if you own 12 houses all over the world and you spend the year traveling from one to another, never spending more than 2 months in any of them, then none of them is your “primary residence” for tax purposes. I would like to have this problem.

  • WIDTAP
  • Joe Beese

    RedState is coming dangerously close to something.

    If the Democrats are finding it politically expedient to throw Franken under the bus for what are objectively less serious accusations (Franken is not accused of any conduct involving underage women or attempted rape like Moore is), maybe the question should be, why aren’t Republicans? If you wanted to create a narrative that Republicans don’t care about women, the RNC resuming funding for Moore’s campaign certainly helps.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      The neurons are very close to connecting there.

      • Joe Beese

        Watch out for that red pill, guys.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          And guys, the purple one.

    • h4rr4r

      So close and yet so far.

  • TheTrue Pooka

    Why the fuck are half the fairy lights on these Christmas lights dead every year?

    ALL THEY DO IS SIT IN THE ATTIC UNTIL NEXT YEAR, HOW THE HELL DO THEY BREAK?!?

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      BECAUSE YOU DONT BELIEVE IN TINKERBELL AND THE LIGHTS DIE ACCORDINGLY…..

      • yyyaz

        I hear Tinkerbell has an EMP generator in her wand for non-believers’ lights.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Moisture? Mice? The Grinch?

    • Ellie

      You just THINK all they are doing is sitting there. Hah! You think those fairy lights have no libidos? How do you think they get all tangled up when you’ve put them away so neatly?

    • Thiazin Red

      And I put them away nicely every time, but when I take them out its a giant tangle! WHY!?!

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Faerie light orgies

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Hey everyone. I vented a few days ago about my son being depressed, and quite a few of you were very supportive, and I really appreciated it. I just wanted to report he’s feeling better. It may have just been teenage moodiness, but it sure seemed more serious at the time. Anyway, we’re keeping an eye on him, and thanks to you crazy Wonkeroos for being willing to listen and offer advice. Love to all.

    • harryr

      Good to hear. Keep keeping an eye on him, and always make sure he knows you are there for him. Good luck to you all

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Teenage moodiness is the damn end of the world for a teenager. We remember. Glad he and you are feeling better.

    • (((Sedagive)))

      Glad to hear it.

      I was the moodiest pre-teen/teenager: quiet, despairing, existentially heartbroken. They thought I was a goner.

      I turned it into gold.

      Good luck, and just remember that anger is an energy.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Johnny Rotten agrees!

    • redarmyzombie

      Glad to hear it Lance. Just keep doing what you’re doing.

    • grindstone

      Glad to hear it. Never underestimate teenage moodiness…it could be something more. Glad things are more settled in the Thrustwell household.

    • calliecallie

      So glad. They all grow up eventually. Just keep them alive until then.

  • Skaarphy

    Nope, not true. Not this scummy fuckweasel. I refuse to accept that this is real. It’s photoshopped, or something. A bad joke.

    • Iron Monkey

      No final decision has been made means that the final decision has been made.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      If you know anything about Thomas’ wife, you might be inclined to view the “honor” represented by this award to be fairly minimal.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Ginni Coefficient Codependent

    • OutOfOrbit

      That bitch is a world class grifter

  • lucidamente
    • Joe Beese

      Seems like pure spite to me.

      “I’ll leave when I’m good and ready!”

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Soz Franken – but you assaulted those women. Resign and let a woman take your place.

  • memzilla Ω

    If you thought geese were aggressive, swans are WAY worse.

    Newly discovered dinosaur looks like odd mix of duck, croc, ostrich and swan

    “An illustration shows a Halszkaraptor escuilliei dinosaur. The newly uncovered creature, about 18 inches tall, had a bill like a duck but teeth like a croc’s, a swan-like neck and killer claws.”
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/448d3f46a57225fe067a859c443f5f308ddabe38c410727d0bad2af728e19f93.jpg

  • proudgrampa

    “Liberty.”

    You use that word, but I do not think you know what it means.

    • Lord Jim

      “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.” “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s all.”

      • proudgrampa

        Nice!

  • Joe Beese
    • CripesAmighty

      ’52 Buick?

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Sunset Grill?

    • h4rr4r

      Hitler

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Beelzebub?

    • Prollynottoday

      Billy Joe Bob’s All You Can Eat Catfish ‘n Hushpuppies. White Litening Bellywashers.

  • BMW

    Just as prestigous: Ruth Bader Ginburg’s late husband once gave the cashier at Piggly Wiggly a coupon.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      More value and relevance.

  • NotALiar

    Have I ever told any of y’all how much I fucking hate James Okeefe?

    • Captain Kraut

      No.

      But, as far as I’m aware, non-comments don’t aren’t restricted in length, knock yourself out.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Puberty. Now there’s a word that can strike fear in the hearts of most people who lived through it. Just like “Exams”, only worse.

    • Joe Beese

      Mother Beese pronounced it “poo-berty”.

      *shudder*

      • Courser_Resistance

        So did my dad. Just like calls pupa, “poo-pa”.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My International Relations professor, who was also my advisor and the Chair of the International Relations department, always said “Nucular” instead of “Nuclear” and that really annoyed me. I had to listen to him do it for 3 years, gaaah!.

    • OutOfOrbit

      How me know when it’s over? Asking for the roomie

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I guess it’s over when you become so accustomed to the horror that you forget about it for at least six months.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Menopause was like that for me. A few horrifying months when my body did weird and terrifying things and then I kinda forgot about it.

    • How bleak was my puberty!

  • Michael Smith

    Liberty and puberty are very different things.

  • leemoder

    Defend puberty?! I’d rather kick puberty in the nads, snag on it and roll it around in the dirt.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I opted for a second puberty.

      • Captain Kraut

        Harley or Porsche? Or Portia (29, fine arts grad student)?

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          Estradiol.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Roy Moore’s girlfriends are just finding out.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I feel the utmost sympathy for those gender-identity-struggling kids. I am not one myself, but if I could have been given hormones to forestall puberty forever, I would have taken them in a heartbeat. Heck, there are times I wish I could reverse the process altogether.

      • BosGrl

        No kidding. Puberty is when it all went downhill for me. I liked being a kid.

        • OutOfOrbit

          You had to grow up too fast

          • BosGrl

            I didn’t, though. I’m still not grown up.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          All this me-too stuff and the prospect of us becoming a theocracy has me seriously thinking about getting my “dirty pillows” taken off. Not that they need an “excuse” to do things (which they do even to kids, to men and boys, to animals, to anybody and anything, even the dead) but, I dunno, cultural expectation I guess. (This phobia of losing physical sovereignty to a garbage predator or culture/system/government of garbage predators tends to come up a lot during Republican administrations. I went under the knife to have myself “fixed” in 2012 in part because if I got pregnant — through no fault of my own — I feared not being able to terminate it, what with Romney on the horizon and that asshole congressman who said something to the effect of pregnancy can’t happen in rape because “the body knows better and shuts that whole thing down”).

          But the culture of expectation being, once you’re developed into adulthood, it’s a “rite of passage” you just have to close your eyes and think of England about, and at that point no one will feel sympathy for you like they would for a kid. I shouldn’t feel I have to electively go under the knife or otherwise hide behind some kind of suit of armor to “protect” myself from dangerous creeps, but I’m at the point where it’s become a consideration because of everything going on. I’m not victim-blaming. I’m legitimately afraid. Nothing and no one is actively a threat in my life but, I just have this nagging fear.

          I was actually terrified in school that getting it over with at the prom was a graduation requirement. I’m 33 and “it” hasn’t happened yet (I didn’t go to prom either), but these garbage men/immature, overgrown boys aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, and I almost fear it’s a matter of time before they get to me. The Martin Niemöller explanation of rape-culture.

          • Lord Jim

            I’m sorry that this fear oppresses you, and I wish we lived in a time that would provide me more factual support for saying “there’s not so much fear.” I hope that being able to talk about it here with people who have come to know you a little and care about you helps a bit.

          • BosGrl

            I understand. I really do. A close friend has the same nagging fear. She’s not ready to work it out in therapy, but we talk about it. She has also considered surgery. I hurt for both of you because while I want to say “just don’t think about it,” I know it’s not always possible. Many, many hugs.

      • Parakeetist

        Same here

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    WOW.

    Yeah, Chelsea was making fun of Sara Hucka Sanders’ looks/fashion, but WOW:

    “Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee (R) suggested on Wednesday that Chelsea Handler was jealous of his daughter, White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders, because she has a family instead of “two abortions.””

    “I’m surprised that there were not women on the left who at least had the decency to call her out for this,” Huckabee opined. “I know you’re probably expecting me to be very angry about this, but truthfully, when I read what she said and then I watched it, I felt sorry for her.”

    “I feel sad for Chelsea Handler,” he continued. “She seems like a very angry and bitter person. Look, she’s almost as old as me. So this is a point in her life, she needs to start mellowing out. And she seems to be just in a rage. The sad thing about it, she boasts about the two abortions she had at 16. I think in many ways she’s jealous of my daughter.”

    Huckabee added: “My daughter has a husband who loves her and is wonderful to her. My daughter has three delightful children. She’s a happy balanced person. My daughter has enjoyed life. She’s a pretty straight-laced person. She goes to church and lives a life Chelsea Handler has never known.”

    According to the former governor, “there’s something deep inside of Chelsea Handler that says, ‘I’ve missed out on a lot, I could be raising children, but I aborted them.’”

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Ugh lord, spare me of Huckabee’s thought jizz…

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      What’s the matter Mike? You want there to be more kids in the world so that creeps can molest them and you can go on TV and defend their “moral values”?

    • Joe Beese
      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        let’s see Mike, Chelsea has travelled the world, had a few talk shows, a shit ton of money, and banged whoever she wanted…yeah, she’s REAL jealous of Sarah.

        • Joe Beese

          But she’s missing out on the joys of loving Christian obedience to a husband.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            not to mention squeezing babies out of her body, only to have hte little things vomit, poop and piss on her for at least a few years.

            I STILL don’t get why it’s all so wonderful.

          • BosGrl

            It kind of is, though, but only if you want it. Nobody should be forced to have it if they don’t want it. Mike Fucking Huckabee doesn’t seem to get that not all women (or men) want kids. This is a good thing. The world’s crowded enough.

          • Johnatx

            Hey, how’s the weather out there? Wet and chilly here

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            same here buddy – drizzly and cold since last night. Went to pick up mom from hospital, slick and grey and awful, glad we’re home!

      • Especially balanced in X/Y axial terms.

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Even then she’s very askew…

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Pretty fucking obvious she’s not a replicant, because no one would copy that.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Last time I saw a face like that, the next thing I remember was waking up on the floor of the bar where they were showing the women’s rugby match.

      • Xylem

        I’m staying out of this one

      • Werewolf

        Hell, her *face* isn’t even balanced!

    • janecita

      She is over 20 years younger than him for fucks sake!

      • That was Mike being a creep as well as a jerk.
        Cause when that is pointed out he gets to say how badly she aged see

    • yyyaz

      Chelsea could have opted to have a lobotomy, too, so she would fit in with your perfect family, Squirrel Nuts. Talk about missing out.

      • Parakeetist

        Lmao

    • BosGrl

      Sistah Sarah’s a happy person? Well, sure, she gets all her sarcasm and anger out on the press corps and by the time she gets home she is all sunshine and light.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        She’d go home and kick the dog after work, but one of her cousin-brothers already tortured the poor thing to death…

        • BosGrl

          I have this image of her getting in her car, ripping off the fur eyelashes, and lighting one up.

      • Johnatx

        And she sure knows how to bake a pecan pie

        • BosGrl

          Well, she knows how to Google one, anyway.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Chelsea will never know the joy of raising a dog-murdering psychopath of a son who may yet turn out to be a serial killer. There, if we’re going to get personal, how’s that for inappropriate?

    • CripesAmighty

      Chelsea makes a pile of money making fun of idiots like you on TV. Not bad, not bad at all.

    • Happy balanced people telling lies

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        and defending bought and paid for politicians, greedy, hateful, thieving people who CLAIM the mantle of christianity, solely for political gain of course…

        sigh.

        • Got some lyrics in there.
          She’s happy and balanced telling her lies
          Defending the pols paying the spies
          Greedy, hate filled, thieving grift
          Claiming Jesus but being unfit
          She’s happy and balanced , telling her lies

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Isn’t Huckabee still banging Kim Davis?

      • Parakeetist

        VOMIT

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      I know I’m jealous of anyone who, when they are the butt of jokes, can actually make themselves feel better by convincing themselves that the person mocking them must be jealous.

      I just can’t lie to myself convincingly enough.

      Looks like a family skill.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Me also too…

    • Changeling

      “She seems like a very angry and bitter person.”

      She does, huh?

    • tomamitai

      Chelsea’s 42, “governor”, and you’re 62. What kind of math makes her almost as old as you, the kind you learn in bible school?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        somebody nailed it down below – it lets “Reverend” Huckabee slag on chelsea – both insulting her and with the side benefit he can claim the “liberal” lifestyle ages you…or osmething.

  • janecita
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bottom: “I cannot tell a lie….”

    • h4rr4r

      Ah yes, the famous wordsmith Jon Bovi.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        It’s is I!

        • Lord Jim

          I against I!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That top one is a serious commitment to irony, or something.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        “They all look the same to me” -some ignorant moran

    • Tattoos: a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling. And that’s when you get them right!

  • Kip TW

    Nobody who’s married to Clarence “Conflict of Interest” Thomas has any business saying what is and isn’t liberty. He should have recused himself, more than once, when cases came up that directly involved the interests of… oh, hey, what a quinky dink! …Mrs. Clarence Thomas.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Ah today’s the day folks – Marriage Equality to become of the law of the land in Australia.

    Last week, it passed the Senate, today it will pass the House of Representatives.

    So wishing I was in Canberra right now, watching the final vote.

    Good on ya, ‘straya…

  • persistently_resistant_gayby
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Listen to the Kiwi.

    • (((Sedagive)))

      David Bowie thought she was the future.

      I hope he was right.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        When I first heard a-ha and watched Take On Me, I thought they were the future. The 20 something kid in me still wishes it were so. She was so beautiful and music the catchiest since ABBA.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I love that song. But I’m waiting for the bad cover-band version of fired/imprisoned Trump employees, with their group called Uh-Oh.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      PTL

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    So Sheldon Addelson called in a favor to Trump, and Jeruselam is now the capital of Israel. Pence, Cruz, and the Christianists are thrilled. Now if the Jews will come to Temple Mount and except Jesus the Second Coming will occur.

    The Fundies will be schocked when Jesus returns. Holding hands with Moses and Mohammed.

    • Joe Beese

      “We’ve decided to go be prophets on a different planet. It’s obvious this isn’t working out. It’s not you, it’s us.”

      • Timothy Watson

        “Actually, on second thought, it’s totally you.”

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      And…..married to his boyhood friend Biff…….

    • plus he’ll be brown

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      BTW, Jews do “except” Jesus and the coming will be the first.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I’m looking for Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad to show together. I thought the Jews were waiting on the Messiah, I didn’t realize he would be named Jesus.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Merry War on Christmas from America’s #2 Theocrat!

      https://i.imgflip.com/20mn8c.jpg

  • Kryptonian Canis

    In probably the least surprising chapter to the story of the United States government being dismantled from the inside, Mulvaney is already busy reversing any and all protections that were being carried out by the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/05/business/cfpb-mick-mulvaney.html

    • Cosmic Owl

      That’ll show that evil and mean Obama.

  • Cosmic Owl

    At the end of this fucked up day, this bit is the fucked up thing that takes the cake.

  • Spurning Beer

    I just had a Twilight Zone/Kafka-esque thought that made me smile: imagine that O’Keefe and the Thomases were locked in a room together for a few months. I almost feel bad about how much that idea amuses me.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      With or without food?

      • Spurning Beer

        I don’t think it would matter. No need for fancy plot devices like scorpions or progressive diseases. They would each annoy the living fuck out of the other two, and it would make great theater.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          I’ll allow it. Is the room secured against invading armies of pointy and corrosive votes? Sorry for all the questions, I’m very detail-oriented.

          • Spurning Beer

            In my mind, the room would be surrounded by the void of space. And the room would be in black-and-white.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            A NIN original soundtrack and I’m there.

        • yyyaz

          If zombie Luis Buñuel gets to direct, I’m in.

    • Cosmic Owl

      Ginni beeds her meds, though – she atarts to drunk dial without them.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    What’s going to happen when the rapture DOESN’T occur?

    • Aimed for rapture, got rapeture.

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        or wrathture

    • Changeling

      Same as ever. The end times were always coming… soon.

    • Cosmic Owl

      The True Believers start drinking early and often.

    • Joe Beese
      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I’ll be in my bunk.

      • Lord Jim

        But now he only eats guitars. :)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Blame Obama for starters?

    • Kryptonian Canis

      I don’t know, these days it certainly does feel like The Beast is preparing the way for for the appearance of the actual-factual Antichrist.

      • redarmyzombie

        Preparing? He’s already sitting in the Oval Office!

        • Kryptonian Canis

          It’s a team effort between Beast and Antichrist, really. I’d say if Pence ever takes the Presidency, he’s the sort of machiavellian asshole who would really fit the profile. I’ll never forget the way he gaslighted the public in the VP debates.

    • Spurning Beer

      Put the embassy back in Tel Aviv.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      You’re not a Mets fan, are you?

    • yyyaz

      I shoulda read down. ; (

    • therblig

      beginning to think that mass suicides of the disappointed might not be a bad thing.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    For all the ink they’ve wasted in op eds bitching about little leaguers supposedly getting “participation trophies,” they sure love handing them out to adults.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      And it wasn’t the kids asking fit participation trophies, it was the parents.

  • Raan
  • Jeffocaster in the East

    I just read that 58 Democrats assaulted Trump with peaches. Can this be true?

    • Kneeling Bozilingus
      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Everyone should fight ninjas while singing about peaches.

      • Changeling

        That’s been my earworm for literally 20 years. (Thanks!)

      • hendenburg2

        Apparently a friend of mine snuck a can of peaches into one of their shows and asked the singer to sign it…

  • mrFawkes
  • MOG253

    I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date. (This is all so Alice.)

  • Paperless Tiger

    Looks like an O’Keefe sting to expose a conservative as scum. I can’t believe she fell for it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And it turns out that the medical facility that will do an MRI on my fucking knee (which is about 95% better, but I still want to know WTF happened to it if they can find out) just got an opening in their schedule. BBL, dear Wonkers, on this note:

    https://twitter.com/SeussIsLoose_/status/938404218267893761

    • Lord Jim

      Good luck!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Can you imagine the outrage if RBG decided to hang out with the New Black Panthers…or even Greenpeace. Fox News would literally melt.

  • Joe Beese
  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    I cannot believe this bullshit with Jerusalem. It’s totally over the top.

    The United States is now a motherfucking rogue regime fomenting war for the stupidest reasons possible.

    I can’t even, people.

    • yyyaz

      Imagine how disappointed the True Believers™ will be when their Armageddon is over and Jesus fails to glide down from the heavens in his apocalyptic glory.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Once the Mideast is a smoldering pile of ashes, and gas is $40 a gallon, the red states will all have to give up their pick up trucks, and buy a Prius, with no tax rebate. Thanks, Trump!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Jesus was a good guy. He didn’t deserve this shit.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Welp, one step closer to “guns for everything”.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/938545516190846976

    • Joe Beese

      The “states rights” people.

    • TJ Barke

      Paranoia for everyone!

    • Bananas Foster

      States rights my skinny pimply ass.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        dammit, always scroll down.

    • therblig

      rwnj co-worker is positively orgasmic over this. i guess when you literally have nothing else in your life but your guns, this is the kind of thing that would excite you.

      • tomamitai

        Does your workplace permit employees to bring guns to work? As far as I know, there’s no law yet that says an employer can’t ban them from work, even if you’ve got a permit. If they do allow guns, maybe someone could drop an anonymous tip to their liability insurer?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          there is, at least here in texas – your employer can require you leave htem in your car or something (which, for some reason, reasons me of two incidents, one when a dick former coworker got in an argument wiht another dick coworker and went out to his car and came back with a gun (i was gone by then) and a news story about a strip club where a guy got pissed off at a stripper for some reason, when out to his car, came back and shot her and one or two other people).

        • therblig

          thank fsm, no. but once the gunhumpers get reciprocal carry, they’ll push for it. luckily, here in (his words) tyrannical new jersey, i don’t see that happening. what i don’t understand is, for all his bitching and moaning about nj being overpriced and ruined by liberals, why he doesn’t move to one of those red state utopias. maybe because those liberals he despises fight for the higher wages he makes, and the labor unions he disparages (yet belongs to) ensure his workplace rights. he’s just an angry piece of shit.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      states rights and local government everybody!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Fuck the House. They think having guns is so great that nobody should be safe from a dumbfuck with a concealed carry permit from Alabama? Does the law apply to Capitol Hill? I probably already know the answer to that one.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        speaking of which, usa today has an article about the carnage at the Texas church shooting from the point of view of the medical staff who treated the victims….I didn’t read the whole thing, but every “guns everywhere!” advocate should.

    • aureolaborealis

      But, crucially, still illegal to carry into the House chamber, because they’re not stupid. Just evil.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • CripesAmighty

      IOKI…oh, fuck it.

  • Joe Beese

    John Conyers III, who was endorsed by his father on Tuesday to succeed him in the House, was arrested in February after his girlfriend suffered knife cuts during an argument.

    Mr. Conyers, in an interview Wednesday, tried to head off a possibly disqualifying scandal just a day after his father resigned from Congress amid multiplying allegations of sexual harassment. As issues of sexual harassment and abuse roil Washington, any violent altercation against a woman could doom his effort to take the seat that his father held since 1965.

    The younger Mr. Conyers said that the couple began arguing around 3 a.m. the day after Valentine’s Day and that after a physical fight, police arrested him on suspicion of domestic violence.

    The Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office later dropped the charges, but the girlfriend got a restraining order against Mr. Conyers, which remains in effect until March of next year, he said.

    “She says I stabbed her, which makes no sense,” Mr. Conyers, 27, said. “I didn’t do this. She and I had a verbal altercation and that escalated. She pulled the knife on me. She was chasing me. I tried to take it from her. There was a struggle. I pinned her to the wall. She kept swinging and she cut herself.”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/06/us/politics/john-conyers-iii-stabbing-domestic-violence.html

    • BadKitty904

      “Family Values,” people…

    • redarmyzombie

      Because of fucking course he would…

    • CripesAmighty

      Oooooohhh hell to the no! NEXT!

    • Bananas Foster

      FUCK NO!

      no. no. no. no. no.

      We can do better.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      This would get you elected in Alabama.

    • Parakeetist

      That is what all abusive assholes say.

  • cmd resistor

    So apparently this awards thing happened at trump’s d.c. hotel.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Figures

    • BadKitty904

      Of cour$e.

  • altleftjohn

    “Extremism in defense of puberty is no vice.”

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Offer not valid in Alabama.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “Defending liberty” = “making shit up”

  • h4rr4r

    Steam will no longer accept Dunningkrugerrands. The transaction fees are up to $20 each, and the value has been bouncing around so fast they can complete the transaction before the value changes again.

    Looks like that scam is falling apart.

    • hendenburg2

      I like “dunningkrugerrands”

      • h4rr4r

        The nutbars are already yelling about the “(((Globalist Fascists)))” and how Steam is done for if they continue to accept central bank fiat currency.

        These people manage to understand nothing of the world around them.

  • therblig

    motherfucking motherfuckers all the way down.

  • mrFawkes

    Al Franken should announce he’s switching parties. That will stop one of the parties (Republican) from demanding he resign for being a sexual predator.

  • Shan

    Kinda random, but…Does anyone else here hate talking on the phone?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Yeah, and I need to call parents.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i despise it! For work, when I had to do it, i was able to “turn it off and on” – so I sounded pleasant while doing it.

      Like phone sex operators…I guess.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      I hate my cell phone….but I gotta have it.

    • Bananas Foster

      I’m trying to think of the last phone call I was on that wasn’t purely a scheduling issue….

    • Anna Rompage

      Totally, but then I have a general malaise when it comes to talking to people in general…

    • msanthropesmr

      Yes. It scares me.

    • So much, and i work in a call centre

      • Shan

        Do you think it’s a reasonable request to ask someone to check and see if it’s ok to call and not just expect you to be available to answer and talk whenever they want?

        • BadKitty904

          Yes. ‘Cause otherwise, I just don’t answer the phone. I refuse to be at the beck and call of a machine.

          • Shan

            Yes, but if I don’t answer…the particular person gets extremely upset.

          • BadKitty904

            Then I’d hope they find some way to work through that.

            The fact that whoever’s calling me has some spare time doesn’t necessarily mean that I have some spare time.

          • Shan

            Same here. I’ve got 3 kids in the house. And this caller gets pissy if I have to do something else while on the phone. And they HATE texting. So kind of an impasse.

            *sigh*

          • Captain Kraut

            Sounds like passive-aggressively guilting you into accomodating them.
            Except it doesn’t really sound all that passive, depending on how upset that person gets…

          • Shan

            Upset enough to have hung up before.

          • Sarah Smith

            It sounds like you should practice defending your boundaries. Like, literally practice. Imagine not picking up the phone. Imagine a polite but cool response when harangued and practice saying it out loud. Go through potential conversations with this person in your head and rehearse what you want to say. Write it down and put it by the phone if you need to. It helped me in a similar situation.

          • Shan

            This person has problems recognizing boundaries. Compounding that is the fact that I have trouble enforcing them AND we’ve had external influences preventing us from addressing them early on.

          • Prollynottoday

            I just know you from here, but it seems that you are a real nice person, but maybe too nice for your own good sometimes. People that know you well enough to call you should respect you may be busy at the time. If not, they are rude and I would say “Good day sir! I said good day!” But I’m an arshole.

          • Shan

            I SAID GOOD DAY!

            I should practice that.

            And, no, I’m not always very nice. I have something of a temper.

          • BadKitty904

            If it were me, I wouldn’t let it be an impasse. if it were me.

          • Shan

            Maybe I’m allowing too many mitigating factors.

          • BadKitty904

            If it were me, I’d say I’m not going to let someone else control me with their emotions. If it were me.

          • Shan

            Yes, well. Thisbother person and I live on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum.

            Ah, wel.

          • Captain Kraut

            I’d say that shouldn’t influence you unduly unless it’s one of your kids. Anyone else and I’d say fuck ’em (not the good kind!), that should be their problem, not yours.

        • SayItWithWookies

          It’s not anyone’s job to be available and next to the phone at all hours — that’s what voice mail is for.

          • Shan

            That’s why I like texting. If you’re there and can respond, great. If you’re not or are like me and need to think a while, you can.

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          Yes, because phone conversations can take a while if done properly. I call in emergencies and for long chats only and my circle of friends and fam are totally aware.

    • redarmyzombie

      I do, but mostly because I’m a little hard of hearing and everyone I know mumbles.

    • TJ Barke

      Yes, I blame my parents for freaking me out about it with 911 stuff when I was little.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Is this the party to whom I am speaking?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nxp5Y8UT7OQ

      • Shan

        Ha! My dad and I do that all the time!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I hate it with the fire of a thousand million bajillion suns.

      • Shan

        I suspect we have a disproportionate number of introverts here.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          That’s why it’s good to talk on a website that doesn’t allow comments.

          • Shan

            Right? There’s no risk of anyone responding and making us uncomfortable.

        • Miss Dill

          ADD’ers generally hate phones, too. I am an introvert and have ADD, so I really, really hate phones.

    • JustDon’tSayProbably

      No. I like it better than sending 4-word texts back and forth, consuming minutes of my time when it could be just seconds.

      • Shan

        I don’t care for those kinds of texts, either.

      • SayItWithWookies

        It’s like getting nibbled to death by ducks.

        • JustDon’tSayProbably

          Pre-zackly

    • therblig

      i absolutely hate it. to the point where i’ll listen to a voicemail and reply via email.

      • Shan

        I am fine in work situations but not personal stuff.

        • therblig

          it’s pretty much across the board for me.

          • Shan

            At work, I have to get my thoughts organized first and will sometimes jot things down so I remember the points o need to cover before I call.

    • Parakeetist

      No

    • altleftjohn

      “The telephone is an evil invention.” W. H. Auden

    • Yes.

      To think I used to speak on the phone for a living.

      Of course, that may be part of why.

      • Shan

        Many moons ago, I was a receptionist. I got so burnt out I stopped answering my phone at home. And that was even before I had an answering machine, never mind caller ID.

    • Blackest Noobs

      depends.

      • Blackest Noobs

        but i do hate the fact at my job my co-worker who works the same hours thinks she doesn’t have to do it.

        the other day when i was busy with something she didn’t pick up until the 13th ring.so there’s that. i hate her for other lazy shit things she doesn’t do too.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Yup. The worst is when I have to make a cold call – takes me hours sometimes to work up the nerve.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      Yes. I never answer it. It’s always on mute. If it’s important, they’ll leave a message. I check my messages once a week.

  • Joe Beese
  • Anna Rompage

    Speaking of Clarence Thomas, isn’t it about time he step down for his sexual harassment of Antia Hill? Or do the harassers only step down if they are democrats?

    • Parakeetist

      Yes

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Sexual harassment is only real if Bill Clinton’s name is in the mix.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Paul Ryan promises Republicans will cut Medicare and Social Security to deal with the deficit (that they are making worse with their tax plan).

    Trump University was also a scam.

  • msanthropesmr
    • therblig

      your houseboat appears to heavy on one side

    • Suse

      Hello, my darling Beany!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Beany!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    One of the more satisfying things I’ve done recently was sneak into my friend the Prosecutor’s office and replace his police association “Prosecutor of the Year” award with one more representative of the cops’ rationale: we spray painted some kneepads gold and glued them to a plaque.

    • Anna Rompage

      Isn’t that a felony?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        As I have explained to him many times, contempt of prosecutor is not a crime.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        I’m pretty sure it’s still legal to spray paint knee pads.

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!
    • Bill D. Burger

      Brayfart’!

  • amrak63

    From The Daily Banter:

    Kellyanne Conway Is Going Straight To Hell
    https://thedailybanter.com/2017/12/kellyanne-conway-is-going-straight-to-hell/

    My favorite comment from the thread:

    kittygrrl • 3 hours ago
    Alabama’s new license plates:
    A) The Feel Me State
    B) Home of Billy the Kid Molester
    C) Where Your Girls Get Mauled At The Mall
    D) Home Of The Friendly Pedophile Who’s Also The DA
    E) We Love The Ten Commandments-We Just Don’t Obey Them

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I saw an Alabama license plate earlier that said Alabama hearts (emoji), and I wished I had a Sharpie to write under it “kid diddlers.”

      • amrak63

        Q: What do you call a white Alabama girl who can outrun her brothers?

        A: A virgin.

      • MsEdgyNation

        Never leave home without a sharpie.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Oh no, didn’t you have another occasion recently to rue the lack of sharpie in your possession? Your inner vandal wants to come out! We told ya, “always bring a sharpie”! Oh well, maybe next time.
        Always bring a towel and always bring a sharpie!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          The last time I saw an “I stand” bumper sticker, and I didn’t have a Sharpie to write “for buttsechs.” Damn it, self, get a Sharpie already!

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    The fuck, a _defending puberty_ award? There’s at least 2 phd psych theses in the name alone

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Maybe against us transes and our puberty blockers and hormones and confusing everyone.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Next they will make, like, “defending defecation” or “defending boners”.

        • redarmyzombie

          They’ve already defended pedo boners…

    • tomamitai

      I think maybe someone is taking Wonkette a little too seriously. And literally also, too.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Heh, that’s what I get for skimming

  • BadKitty904

    And this golden moldy is dedicated to Donnie “Gums” Turmp!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-iFsxSNN2c

  • Shibusa

    So the “heroes” honored by United for Purpose had to meet certain criteria… These are people who show “tenacity, courage and perseverance even under hostile attacks” and are “respected among their peers,” among other things. O’Keefe, who just made a fool of himself in an attempt to stick up for a sexual predator, apparently meets that criteria in the eyes of right-wing activists.

  • wait! what?

    Rearender of Liberty, maybe?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Here’s your Daily Head-Hits-Desk story

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/938554411974057985

    • yyyaz

      Stick this Xmas present up your asses, poors and olds! HO HO HO!!!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        “now I have a fiscal-austerity machine gun, ho-ho-ho”

    • Joe Beese

      He’s got a job to do.

    • Kryptonian Canis

      Yeah this deficit is suddenly out of control for some reason.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        I wonder when that happened?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      “I think the president is understanding choice and competition works everywhere, especially in Medicare,” Ryan said.

      WHAT THE JESUS FUCK?

      Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) last week said “instituting structural changes to Social Security and Medicare for the future” will be the best way to reduce spending and generate economic growth.

      What if you’re too old to work or can’t get hired? FUCK YOU ALL.

      • Kryptonian Canis

        Sounds like code for privatizing the whole thing.

        • h4rr4r

          I have a great idea for that. Replace it all with a UBI and single payer for basic health care. The rest can be totally free market.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Offer not valid in the 50 states of Lesser Canada.

        • Ellie

          It is. Saying overtly didn’t work back in…2010, I think it was. So now they’re back to speaking in code.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        Competition? WTF? Is this asshole suggesting Hunger Games, now?

      • tomamitai

        Hey, what with the tax cut, the rich folks will have plenty of money to give to charities to help the poor olds, and I’m sure they’ll do just that! /s

    • h4rr4r

      Duh, they will save CHIP by cutting Medicaid. Then they go after SSDI to save SS. One by one they will sacrifice one program to save another until none are left.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I pay into Social Security separately from the taxes used to fund other programs. There will be pitchforks and torches if they try that shit.

        • h4rr4r

          That will be why it is the last to go. It will just pay out less and less until it is killed off.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        “And then they came for Medicare, but there was no one left to speak out for the olds, who were all dead by the time the tax-murders began.”

        • h4rr4r

          Why so many olds vote for this, I do not understand.

          Not all, but way more than other groups the Republicans hope to ripoff.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            They never think the leopards are going to eat their faces. They distinguish themselves from the “undeserving” poor (which usually means Reagan’s dog-whistle definition of it).

          • h4rr4r

            Blah people.

          • Lord Jim

            Because it won’t affect them, only the people who will BECOME old.

    • OrG

      Fuck you , you atheist loving piece of shit.

      • h4rr4r

        This atheist says fuck you.

        • OrG

          ???

          • h4rr4r

            What is wrong with being an atheist?

            You said there was something wrong with loving atheists.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            OrG is referring to Ayn Rand. Ryan is a Catholic hypocrite who doesn’t follow any of Jesus’ teachings about the poor and sick, but instead wanks it to Ayn Rand’s authoritarian selfishness.

            Which has nothing to do with atheism per se and everything to do with Ryan’s double standard that is far too commonplace among people who hide behind religion.

          • Guinnessmonkey

            That’s still a really, really weird way to attack Ryan.

          • h4rr4r

            Right, then call him an objectivist lover.

          • h4rr4r

            That was the only good thing about her.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Problem is, she replaced money as her god. Also too, her own ego. Which basically makes her no different from fundagelicals except that she was more honest about the Bible being BS.

          • tomamitai

            The republicans worship money too, also. Alisa Zinov’yevna Rosenbaum was just more honest about it.

          • OrG

            This^^^^^

          • h4rr4r

            Her being an atheist is not the problem either.

          • OrG

            Nope. I am an atheist also. I’m referring to this so-called Christian’s idolization of ayn rand. An atheist.

          • h4rr4r

            So she got one thing right, big deal.

            Hate him for loving an objectivist.

      • Bananas Foster

        Atheist lovers of the world unite!

    • Ellie

      Already know how you’re gonna do that, you empty headed animal trough wiper.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGnE83A1Z4U

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      You blew the hole in the budget. And now you’re going to shove the old, the poor and the sick into the breach because you’re too chickenshit to do anything else.

      • h4rr4r

        You have confused cause and effect.

        They created that hole so they could do that.

    • Persistent Demme

      Go fuck yourself, ZEGS!

    • Miles Monroe

      “Now that we’ve encircled ourselves with fire, our next move will be to sting ourselves to death.” – Scorpion Party

      Because nothing gets the attention of us Old Ones like “Medicare spending cuts”, and not at all in a good way.

    • bobbert

      This is certainly no surprise. I think Ryan is secretly embarrassed that he went through college on survivors’ benefits, and he wants to erase that memory.
      [/s I don’t actually think that. He’s just an asshole].

      The Ds need to make a big fucking deal of this. We Oldz are a mixed bag, but many of us have kids (and further generations). Many of my contemporaries have kids in their forties or fifties. Not all of them, even some Republicans*, are gonna be okay with “I’ve got mine, fuck you youngs”, if they actually understand what the R establishment is trying to do.

      * Note: I live in the reddish foothills of California. Some of our Republicans may be susceptible to reasoned argument. YMMV.

  • The Wanderer

    Maybe this tune can make O’Keefe shrivel and shrink up:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsxwwhJ6GrY

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Morals of post-op doctor visit

    1) Mom was right. Chew your food. Now chew it some more.

    2) 12 weeks recovery really does mean 12 weeks.

    3) Having a bunch of magnets in your chest is really a lot cooler when Tony Stark does it.

    • Thiazin Red

      But maybe you’ll learn the answer to the age old question of fucking magnets, how do they work.

      (For serious though, take it easy and get well)

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        I asked the physics professor, best guess right now is subatomic currents.

        • John Thorstensen

          You went to the Doctor of Philosophy?

          He was right, sort of. It’s the intrinsic magnetism of electrons, which under the right conditions (i.e., in materials such as iron and some others) tends to align to make a strong magnetic field.

          You’re no closer to fine, I’m sure.

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            Oh gracious me, no, much better. The underlying problem is completely gone, and the side effects improve daily. Only real problem, no MRI over 1.5T

          • John Thorstensen

            I’m glad you’re feeling better! I was playing on an Indigo Girls song, tho’.

            I had an MRI once, only for my hand though. I got to sit in the comfy chair and listen to dubstep music (the magnets do sound like that).

          • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

            But, doesn’t that account only for ferromagnetism? What about intrinsic magnets?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Not to be a bummer, but I was thinking about Bill Diaz today. I wonder what happened to him?

    • mailman27

      The ‘have a nice day” guy? I found that shit supremely annoying, but he always had thoughtful opinions. Was he in some kind of a jam?

      • janecita

        He was dying.

        • Lord Jim

          Oh. My. God. I didn’t even know.

          • janecita

            I just tracked him down, he was alive 5 days ago. He told us he was dying over a month ago, he sounds kind of crazy.

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            Who wouldn’t be, with news like that?

            Poor guy.

        • h4rr4r

          Of something quick?

          On some timescale we all are.

          • janecita

            Speak for yourself, I’m planning to become a vampire.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He was in a hospital with renal failure, and they were kicking him out to a homeless shelter.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He was very ill.

    • janecita

      Where is Panicka? I haven’t seen her around here for a while.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was worried about Bill because he was in a hospital with renal failure, and they were transferring him to a homeless shelter. Things sounded grim.

        Panika’s probably just busy.

        • janecita

          He was fine five days ago.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Oh, good.

  • amrak63

    From McSweeney’s:

    Hi, It’s Us, All The 14-Year-Old Girls In America

    https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hi-its-us-all-the-fourteen-year-old-girls-in-america

    “A PSA to all grown men on the face of the Earth: We do not want to have sex with you.”

    • Mary Theresa

      LOL…. awesome.

      “We’d recommend a subscription to Teen Vogue for the articles, but we’re worried about what you’d do with the pictures.”

    • Ellie

      Was good, but I think when I was 14, I might have wanted to have sex with Clark Gable. However, it was a long time ago, and I may not be remembering accurately.

      • Thiazin Red

        Man when I was 14 I thought I was the most mature person ever.

        Spoiler: I was not, I was 14. Even if a 14 year old did want sex with an adult, they are 14 and bad at decision making.

        • Ellie

          Oh, without even a smidge of a shadow of a doubt.

        • mailman27

          When I was 17, I knew everything. Literally.

          • Thiazin Red

            Thats one of the reasons I love Lorde’s first album, it so perfectly captures the world weariness that only a teenager is capable of.

          • Persistent Demme

            Mr. Demme’s favorite bumper sticker:
            “Hire a Teenager While They Still Know Everything.”

      • Bananas Foster

        Fantasizing is not the same thing as being presented with a dick pic.

        • Thiazin Red

          Thats also true

    • Bananas Foster

      If only we could all just swipe left.

    • Guinnessmonkey

      I can’t speak for the 14 year old girls, but when I was a 14 year old boy I wanted to have sex with nearly every grown woman on the planet.

      That doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be statutory rape, though. The whole point of that is that it doesn’t matter if the 14 year old wants to have sex with an adult: They can’t legally consent to that because of their age.

      • Trip Space-Parasite

        Addressed in the article!

  • Thiazin Red

    I think I’m officially done with shopping. Its a bit late for me, I like to get everything done really early. I really enjoy it, I like trying to find something that I think people will like.

    The real challenge is my father, he’ll either get super into what I’ve sent him or not really like it. He could also be the only one who gives an honest answer, but I don’t think other people are lying.

  • Picabo
  • Bill D. Burger

    *66 days after the Las Vegas massacre.

    WASHINGTON (AP) — House approves GOP bill making it easier for gun owners to carry concealed weapons across state lines.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Well, what do you know, Sarah. It was the GOP who was going to implement death panels after all.

    • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

      It’s good to know that, following such a tragic event, the courageous republican congress is able to put the past behind them and move forward. For freedumb!

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      So, 66 days is officially too late to talk about gun violence.

  • MoeLarryAndJesus

    After she handed him the award O’Keefe thanked her and said, “Your husband is one of the good ones.”

  • WilbyToad

    Facebook partners with conservative misinformer The Weekly Standard on fact-checking

    The Weekly Standard becomes the only partisan organization tasked with fact-checking for Facebook
    by MEDIA MATTERS STAFF
    https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2017/12/06/facebook-partners-conservative-misinformer-weekly-standard-fact-checking/218761

    THA FUK!?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Eventually social media is going to slow walk us all into a conservative bubble if this sort of thing keeps happening.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Mebbe we’re better off if Idjit Pie nukes the Internet from orbit.

        It’s the only way to be sure.

      • TootsStansbury

        We shall go back to communicating through pamphlets and quilts and hobo gang signs.

    • OrG

      Face book sucks.
      the end

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Facebook is evil.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    How about Hannity? Has James O’Keefe ever defended Hannity?

  • So we’ve had a glimpse of Jared and Vanky’s sex playlist, but I’m pretty sure “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” is at the top of Jared’s alone-time-fun list.

    The “quite so little hair” line seems especially poignant.

  • tomamitai

    Looks like science denial and conspiracy mongering have a downside:

    An explosive epidemic of HIV/AIDs has gripped Russia in recent years, partly with the strength of anti-Western conspiracy theories online that promote the idea that the virus is simply a myth.

    Online groups, forums, and chat rooms have repeatedly sprouted up to spew denialism of HIV and AIDS recently—often with thousands of members—according to a new report by the AFP. One group dubbed the virus “the greatest myth of the 20th century,” while calling HIV drugs “poison” and doctors “killers” working to enrich pharmaceutical companies. They coached believers on how to deny treatment. Others claimed the “myth” of AIDS is intended to establish “total control” over the world population.

    Meanwhile, Russia has seen steep and consistent increases in rate of new HIV cases in the past decade, even as the rest of the world has seen declines. Since 2006, the rate of new cases in Russia has increased by at least 149 percent and has been steadily increasing by 10 to 15 percent each year. There are now more than 900,000 Russians living with HIV, with 10 new cases reported each hour. About 80 people die from AIDS-related issues each day.

  • Joe Beese

    I’m scared.

    What’s remarkable here is that in less than 24 hours, the same computer program was able to teach itself how to play three complex board games at superhuman levels. That’s a new feat for the world of AI.

    https://www.theverge.com/2017/12/6/16741106/deepmind-ai-chess-alphazero-shogi-go

    • TootsStansbury

      They’ll be better overlords than the greedy, evil motherfuckers we have now.

      • Timothy Watson

        I, for one, welcome our Skynet overlords.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Only if they’re made in Canada. If Russia, then… fuuuuuuck…

      • Thiazin Red

        In Mass Effect I was totally ready to side with the Geth if my peace plan didn’t work.

        • Timothy Watson

          Fuck the Quarians. (Except Tali.)

    • tomamitai

      Oh dear, let’s hope it doesn’t decide to teach itself how to play Global Thermonuclear War! https://youtu.be/KXzNo0vR_dU?t=1m

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Bet I could still kick its ass at Candy Land.

  • Joe Beese
    • Thiazin Red

      Harsh but fair.

    • janecita

      Rupert Murdoch is a fucking dinosaur, he should go extinct too.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Yes, he is long overdue for a dirt nap. I hoped marrying the equally evil spouse would fix that. But alas, it does not seem to be effective as a voting strategy.

    • TJ Barke

      Ice? In the N. Atlantic in the winter? No fucking way!

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Where was global warming 105 years ago?
        – Capt. Edward Smith

    • mailman27

      How many miles of ice (?) was it 50 years ago? Murdochs statistic is meaningless by itself, his point, pointless.

  • Joe Beese
    • Bananas Foster

      (If shit hits the fan about Morgan Freeman, I’m done. done. done. done. done.)

      • Courser_Resistance

        There are a few men on that list for me.

        • h4rr4r

          David Attenborough.

          • redarmyzombie

            Boaty McBoatface?

          • Parakeetist

            I bet he does it with herons.

  • Raan
  • Joe Beese
    • h4rr4r

      Desalination is going to be the only option going forward.

    • Michael R

      The dry isn’t going to put out the fires , is it ?

      • shivaskeeper

        Dry and Santa Anna winds at night. Up to 50mph in SoCal. Not a good combination.

    • OrG

      Yeah,it’s kinda supposed to be raining here now.

    • proudgrampa

      Uh, yeah. This is not good.

    • H0mer0

      looks like a Giant astral T-Rex is tormenting the Western US

    • bobbert

      AKA here we go again.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Given the existence of Clarence Thomas, this is still only the second most disgusting thing Ginni Thomas has done for money.

    But still.

  • Bananas Foster

    At least it wasn’t an award for outstanding investigative journalism.

    The trophy people probably refused to make that one on moral grounds.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      They tried, but the trophy kept throwing itself out the window

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

    1980s muzic time for 2017!
    https://youtu.be/4NXkM8PsPXs

  • Bananas Foster

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/report-source-franken-to-resign-thursday

    Franken Insists ‘No Final Decision Has Been Made’ About Political Future

    He needs to fuck off immediately.

    • Michael R

      He denied the latest accusation ,

      • covfefesumgame0005

        it was a pretty stupid one

    • covfefesumgame0005

      is that you Roy?

    • janecita

      He needs to stay put, that’s what he needs to do.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        THIS THIS THIS. Don’t give Roger Stone what he wants. Tell Roger Stone to fuck the fucking fuck off immediately.

    • Joe Beese

      On the other hand, it would be amusing to watch him try to do his senator thing with everyone else in his party looking at him with undisguised loathing.

      • Count Awesome

        He needs to look in the mirror and say to himself “people don’t like me”

    • jesterpunk

      No he really doesnt, he should stay until at least the ethics investigation he called is complete then go with their ruling. We know James O’Keefe will have people working for him lie about sexual assault / harassment to make liberals look bad, they got caught trying that with the Washington Post. If they are willing to do it and get caught how many other conservative groups will do it and not get caught?

      • Blackest Noobs

        i know, right. the last one sounded a bit ridiculous. i mean perhaps we’ve all read Franken wrong but i just have doubts he would use the line hey im a celeb let me french kiss the shit outha you.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah that one sounds a little ridiculous to me too.

    • shivaskeeper

      Serious question. Why? Why should he resign right now?

      Why should the ethics investigation not be able to play out? Why should we presume guilt with no investigation, no trial, and no evidence other than accusations? Just because the GOPers won;t resign even when they are found guilty?

      • Bananas Foster

        Serious answer is that he has not denied the majority of the allegations and he is hamstringing the party.

        • shivaskeeper

          Allegations. Where is the proof? That is a problem. As I see it, if he resigns and there is nothing to any of this other than a stupid juvenile picture that discredits anyone who comes forward forever more. Any gains in believing people who have been harassed are shot to shit before they can even be uttered.

          “Look. Fake allegations brought down a Senator, so all the allegations against me are fake too. We told you it happens all the time.” will be the rallying cry of every MRA motherfucker out there. “False allegations”, will be the call of everyone accused form here on out, “just like we always said they were. Look what happened to Franken”,

          Proof has to be seen and evaluated. It has to. Allegations cannot be the only metric used. You see a distraction, I see certain groups weaponizing the MeToo gain for their own ends. If they can recast doubt on the accusers by deliberately planting bogus or trumped up accusations we are back to square one.

          As for hamstringing the party, the Dems will to do that with or without him there. If not him, we’ll find another way to engage in our perpetual circular firing squad.

          • Bananas Foster

            I’m not asking for him to lock himself in jail. I’m not talking about criminal conviction.

            He has not denied the majority of the accusations. Even he isn’t saying he didn’t do what he’s accused of.

          • shivaskeeper

            He called for an investigation when accuser #1 stepped forward. I’m sure he has a lawyer telling him what he should and should not say.

            As of now they are allegations. I’m not even looking for the burden of proof for a criminal case. Civil case burden of proof would be enough for me. But there has to be some sort of proof. Even some solid circumstantial proof would be acceptable. What is not acceptable, to me at least, is accusations with no proof and trial by social media with a mob mentality.

            If we are going to go that route for all public and private citizens, and I say this with very little hyperbole, we may as well just hand the keys over to the GOPers and quit fighting them on anything. They will be able to steamroll everyone and everything in their paths with allegations only from here on out.

          • Bananas Foster

            So, I take it you don’t think Moore should get out of the race because the issues haven’t been adjudicated, right?

          • shivaskeeper

            I have seen enough circumstantial evidence, the yearbook in particular, to make his accusers credible to me. His defenders making the excuses they have made for him also point to his guilt. A large part of his old hometown coming forward saying, “Yes, he liked creeping on the teens” is pretty damning. The way he denied knowing the girls after saying he dated them is another point. A few other things as well.

            No criminal charges can be filed against him due to statute of limitations, but from what I have seen, I think he would be found guilty in a civil case.

            But Moore and Franken are different people with different accusers who are being accused of different things and as such, each one should be looked at on it’s own merits (in the legal sense) and not be compared to the other.

          • bobbert

            1. Good edit.
            2. The allegations against the two are different in nature.
            3. There is some external supporting evidence for Moore being a pretty consistent creeper back in the day (e.g., banned from the mall).
            4. Moore has not requested any sort of investigation, so there is not likely to be any “adjudication” in his matter.

            With all that, I don’t have a “should” opinion about his continued participation. I hope the voters of Alabama will reject him.

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            An interesting point. But you know, this should be the case.
            However his primary accuser has ACTUAL EVIDENCE, which makes this a false equivalence.

          • Bananas Foster

            There’s a photo of Franken.

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            For which accusation? We know about the first one… that’s the one where he asked forgiveness from the person involved, she gave it, case closed.

          • Bananas Foster

            Her forgiveness doesn’t close the case!

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            I don’t think you OR I have any say in the matter.

          • Bananas Foster

            Yes, we do. She can forgive him. That’s great for her.

            I still get to judge his actions.

            He still did it and is unfit to serve.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I imagine “listen carefully to the entirety of the speech” will be a great comfort to the families of embassy staff killed in the pretty much inevitable terrorist attacks. Thanks, Rex.

    • BadKitty904

      IOKIYAR…

    • Thiazin Red

      I’m sure if that happens they’ll hold exactly 15 million investigations.

      • jesterpunk

        Into Hillary?

        • Thiazin Red

          I KNEW IT!

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          I can’t imagine why they’d do anything else.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      But this is good news for Benghazi McPointyhead! He can once again be the U.S. Congress’ preeminent Patrick Starfish impersonator in residence while investigating Hillary Clinton for a Thing!

      https://i.imgur.com/XI0SqAS.jpg

      • shivaskeeper

        Deep Ones libelz

  • Persistent Demme

    Oh, Evan!
    You’re such a naughty boy.
    And I love it!

  • SayItWithWookies

    They were PROBABLY going to give it to Donald Trump, but said it would involve a big interview and a photo spread, and since he’ll be molesting the maid that day, he gave it a pass.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Well, if you define “Liberty” as “The ability to smear others through deceptive means meant to reinforce a plutocracy” then I guess he’s deserving of the award. The Trumpanzees of course don’t grok this, so all good.

    • TJ Barke

      Liberty is only for those with property and capital.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        As the Founding Fathers intended.

  • Picabo
    • jesterpunk

      So much winning.

    • Joe Beese

      I’m sure he couldn’t care less.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Everybody could show him their back & take a knee

      • Wee Mousie

        In this Holiday Season it is more blessed to give than to receive, so instead of taking a knee, how about we give him a boot.

        We are talking about 45, right?

      • Beelzebubba

        Who says you have to stay in the room at all?
        I’d love to see pics of Il Douche addressing a room full of empty chairs.

    • mailman27

      Civil what, now?

  • Good, but sad Canadian history:
    http://www.cbc.ca/amp/1.4413663

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      OMG. That’s as bad as if not worse than the Titanic. Those poor people.

      I thought this was going to be about Polytéchnique. Buncha incel NR-eh wannabe morans tried to hold a gun rally at the memorial, because they wanted to show how proud they are of their prosthetic appendages on a day that proves how much we still need feminism.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      The post office had its flag at half mast today.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    A school board member in North Carolina named Dennis Rape is facing demands to resign from his post — but it’s not for what you’d think. (At least, not that we know of.)

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/nc-school-board-member-dennis-rape-refuses-to-resign-after-allegedly-dropping-the-n-word-at-meeting/

    Rapism, racism, potato, potahto… At least he didn’t do something really offensive like Papism!

    • jesterpunk

      Among other things, Rape allegedly told three board staff members that you “don’t get between a black man and his pork,” while also quoting a Dave Chappelle skit that repeatedly employed the word “n*gger.”

      Rape said he felt “embarrassed” for making the comments — but then later in the meeting denied that he ever made them.

      Yeah I am going to call bullshit on him being embarrassed, he is embarrassed he was caught. But then he pulled a Trump and claimed he didnt say what he just said.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Hey, it worked for his hero!

    • tomamitai

      Ism, ism, ism.

      All we are saying,
      Is give peas a chance!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Union County isn’t the most enlightened county in NC.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m linking to this guy because not enough people know him and I’m sure 99% of Wonketeers would love him:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d1cb9d98914451ff7826ea4a5871c148f36f6443cf0b2bbbb37a1daa9103deac.jpg

    • Stranded Devonian Lungfish

      This guy sounds like he’s a non-commenter on wonkette!

    • tomamitai

      “BLAFURGUFUCK!” is the best word to describe how I feel every time I hear the phrase “President Trump”.

  • Count Awesome

    Puberty doesn’t need to be defended, it always wins.

  • TootsStansbury

    During the primaries and the “election”; if only there had been institutions such as a free press and an actual electoral college that did its stupid antiquated job. If only there had been anyone to sound the alarm. Mitch McConnell holding a SCOTUS nomination? Russians creeping all about the place? Tr*mp making incredibly insulting “gaffes”? Media tonguing tr*mp taint every chance they got?

    I’m so goddamn disgusted with this country. It no longer represents anything I believe in.

    • jesterpunk

      But lets interrupt Hillary’s speech to show Trump’s podium then complain she doesnt talk in public and no one knows what her policies are.

      • TootsStansbury

        Yep! Goddamnit!

      • wait! what?

        Ugh. Seb Gorka is pushing that shit about the current political climate.

  • Wee Mousie

    James O’Keefe is the defender of The Stupid So Strong It Burns! That and he’s a dick.

    Discussing him anymore would give people other than he* delusions of James O’Keefe’s relevancy.

    * See haw.

  • WilbyToad

    New Jimi Hendrix album with unreleased songs coming in March

    Eddie Kramer, who worked as recording engineer on every Hendrix album made during the artist’s life, said in an interview that 1969 was “a very experimental year” for Hendrix, and that he was blown away as he worked on the new album”

    The first thing is you put the tape on and you listen to it and the hairs just stand up right on the back of your neck and you go, ‘Oh my God. This is too (expletive) incredible,” said Kramer. “It’s an incredible thing. Forty, 50 years later here we are and I’m listening to these tapes going, ‘Oh my God, that’s an amazing performance.'”

    Many of the album’s tracks were recorded by Band of Gypsys, Hendrix’s trio with Buddy Miles and Billy Cox. Stephen Stills appears on two songs: “$20 Fine” and “Woodstock.”

    “It sounds like Crosby, Stills & Nash except it’s on acid, you know,” Kramer, laughing, said of “$20 Fine.”

    “Jimi is just rocking it,” he added. “It’s an amazing thing.”

    Johnny Winter appears on “Things I Used to Do”; original Jimi Hendrix Experience members Mitch Mitchell and Noel Redding are featured on “Hear My Train A Comin”’; and Lonnie Youngblood is on “Georgia Blues.”

    by Mesfin Fekadu, Ap Music Writer
    http://www.sfgate.com/entertainment/article/New-Jimi-Hendrix-album-with-unreleased-songs-12409412.php

    Salivating…

    • jesterpunk

      How are they still finding songs after all this time?

      • Joe Beese

        They have scraped through the bottom of the barrel, through the floor the barrel was standing on, and have fallen through to the floor below where they are now turning over fragments of the barrel.

        • Jeffocaster in the East

          or they never emptied the waste baskets of the tape from the cutting room floor….

        • jesterpunk

          Kind of like the last Nirvana release where it was demos and half finished songs they threw together in a box set.

          • Joe Beese

            With Hendrix, they’re waaay past that.

            This is going to be studio jams too aimless to have even made it on to the preceding 8 or however many posthumous releases.

            It may literally be a montage of him tuning up. The estate is that shameless.

          • I’ll listen to a montage of Hendrix tuning up all day long.

            I’ve got some tapes of a friend of mine taking harmonica lessons from Sonny Terry in San Francisco and they are priceless.

          • jesterpunk
          • My first thought was what’s that mixing board knob twister on? I refuse to call them “engineers” because they’re not even close

          • mailman27

            Al Hendrix is (was?) a total douche. Jimi Hendrix was transcendent. I would definitely be curious to hear him playing “Woodstock” with Steve Stills.

      • Belasaurius

        from what I remember, Hendrix recorded at a lot of different places. Hell, even an early version of “Please Please Me” that the Beatles recorded at Abbey Road in Sept of 1962 was lost for decades

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Hidden in the couch cushions.

    • John Thorstensen

      Oh. My. God.

      My very first concert I saw was Jimi Hendrix. He was as amazing as they say.

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        Shit you win the prize. My first concert was the Beatles, but I would trade…..

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          For me, it was with Heart in Lawrence, KS. 1977.

          Time again to visit my bunk.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I saw them three times, Ann has a great set of pipes and Nancy playing that Flamenco riff of the opening of crazy on you are etched upon my mind.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          No, you win my first was Ted Nugent. Ugh.

      • My first concert (at age 5 or so) was the Beach Boys. People in the audience were tossing around beach balls and one hit me in the head. Concerned, my dad turned to me and asked if I was OK. “Yeah, but it’s a good thing this isn’t the Rolling Stones!” I replied.

        Since that day, they’ve expected more from me than I’ve provided.

  • Joe Beese
    • Does prision offer family bulk discounts?

      • proudgrampa

        The Family Plan?

    • Michael R

      He tried to pin one on Hope Hicks today .

      • jesterpunk

        Donny is going to be mad, Jr cant insult his dad’s mistress like that.

    • Bill D. Burger

      He won’t be able to stonewall or lie to Mueller. Good times ahead for the chinless wonder boy.

      • Joe Beese

        He can take the Fifth. That’s what makes America great.

        • mike stone

          I thought Bannon was taking the fifth! I cannot keep up.

        • Bill D. Burger

          Statements that incriminate someone else would not be protected by the Fifth Amendment.

          • Joe Beese

            You don’t think Junior is in this up to his eyeballs?

          • Bill D. Burger

            Why yes. Yes I do.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Uday is going to prison.

  • Ωbjectifier

    I’m sure his testes will drop any day now.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Yup. Donnie Jr. is definitely the dumb one. He’s claiming he can’t answer questions about a conversation with daddy because lawyers were present.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/don-jr-cites-attorney-client-privilege-as-reason-he-wont-tel-congress-about-conversations-with-trump/

  • Bill D. Burger
  • hudson

    seriously?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Joe Beese
      • Stinky_Hole

        “Just how did he manage to get his head that far up there? Collapsible collar bones?”

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Only someone as senseless as Bernie could think that Trump makes sense,

    • jesterpunk

      But most of Trump’s voters where racist assholes. They actually have a higher average income then Hillary voters did.

      https://www.thenation.com/article/economic-anxiety-didnt-make-people-vote-trump-racism-did/

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Facts, Shmacts

      • Carpe Vagenda

        As far as I know, he hasn’t endorsed Jones and isn’t doing anything to help him. Granted, I think staying away is probably the best thing he can do for the man, but if he’s going to promote himself as the white guy whisperer he should probably stop running away from these races.

        • Joe Beese

          As a Bernie lover, it pains me to think that he might not realize what these poor Trump voters think of the Jewish guy from Brooklyn.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Read the thread.

      This is complete Bernie bullshit. Trump supporters might have been "in pain" alright, but it is self-inflicted misery caused by mindless hate stoked by decades of buying into the idiotic idea that freedom is a zero sum game. 1/ https://t.co/9sechpZmgO— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) December 7, 2017

    • amrak63
      • Joe Beese

        Dude, I don’t even like Hot Pockets.

    • Joe Beese
      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Trust The Rude One.

        • Joe Beese

          And he was pro-Bernie in the primaries, if I recall.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            And I believe he, like me, did a mea culpa.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Populism. Go figure. Give me a nerdy policy wonk like HRC who actually does the goddam work. Sigh.

    • Left Coast Tom

      As I enjoy my glass of Hovey Viognier (Calaveras County) I’m reminded that “populists” inflicted Prohibition on the US.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The funny thing is that sexual inequality probably had as much to do with it as populism. Women weren’t allowed to own property, or their own wages, or recourse if they were abused or raped, so a lot of them felt strongly that their husbands should be forced sober.

  • Joe Beese
  • amrak63

    How about sharing female rockers WHO KICK MAJOR ASS?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkQCycocBcw

  • mike stone

    I posted this a while back, but I do not understand why it is never reported in the media that O’Keefe has a large number of civil judgements against him for non-payment of
    debts. I think this shows he is a big-time grifter as well as a bad dresser.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Probably a lousy tipper also too.

  • Bill D. Burger

    More than 24 hours after the conflagration began, he jumps right in to help____by (*You guessed it.) sending his thoughts & prayers. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/391bc827cad11d8e534e6d240bd876ee2a50ab5a2d6c923f33d0191c2b73af8e.jpg

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/938440878577856512

    (btw: The complete sentences and the fact that the tweet makes sense indicates that there is 0% chance Tweetler wrote it. )

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Absolute zero.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Great, thoughts and prayers.

      One of the many videos on Twitter today from Sepulveda Pass (405).

      https://twitter.com/africamiranda/status/938401805838331904

      • Bill D. Burger

        Just horrific! That was the one near the Getty Center.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Holy fuck!

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        Can’t snark. Scary shit.

    • Left Coast Tom
      • tomamitai

        “Not the typical morning commute…”
        Not yet

    • Stinky_Hole

      “Our” is the tell – “I/Me/Mine” is the only thought in his head.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Dazza

    Any minute now the Marriage Equality Bill will pass in Oz. I’m so excited!!!

  • Joe Beese
    • Joe Beese

      I hope his husband was standing behind him with the world’s biggest smirk.

    • Bananas Foster

      Almost worth moving to Kentucky to vote.

      Actually, no.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I wanna see the ads. Even if he doesn’t win, I expect expert trolling. Like Doug Jones started this week. A return to the Kim Davis memes is mandatory.
      My Favorite? Find your own by doing Google Image Search on “Does her job”
      http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/015/155/dcb.jpg

      • Left Coast Tom

        My understanding was that this was one of KY’s relatively few Democratic counties, and that Davis basically “inherited” the office from her mother.

        • shivaskeeper

          She did. She was the known name so she got the votes.

    • laineypc

      Oh drat I thought it was going to be “Today they had a nice cup of coffee and worked the crossword as they do every Wednesday morning now that they are reconciled and Kim talks about how silly she was back then.”

    • shivaskeeper

      Good. Very good.

  • wait! what?
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      You would have had to go “off grid” in the 1990’s to not have a digital footprint.

      • Joe Beese

        Logically, I know that I should be as paranoid about my phone as about the “ladies in the tubes”. Emotionally, it just feels different somehow.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Well, with net neutrality going away, the signals will be so fucked that they will buffer like a mofo trying to find you. Allegedly.

        • OutOfOrbit

          I never fap in front of my phone

  • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

    So. Much. Winning.

    Eight countries opposed to President Donald Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital have asked for an emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Council this week.

    [snip]

    The eight council nations that requested the meeting are Bolivia, Egypt, France, Italy, Senegal, Sweden, United Kingdom and Uruguay.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/newswires/news/national/latest-8-countries-call-meeting-jerusalem-article-1.3680648

    • ((( Augustus )))

      wouldn’t have guessed Senegal

    • 3FingerPete

      I’m pretty sure evicting the UN is coming up on Trump’s honey-do list.

      • tomamitai

        That property would make a fine spot for a casino he could run into bankruptcy.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Fucking. Fantastic.

    • TootsStansbury

      We have to be isolated so he and his dictator pals can beat us.

      • Stinky_Hole

        No, more importantly, our influence in the world must be diminished, so Donnie’s boss can build the world THEY want.

  • Bill D. Burger

    I was so hoping when Putin’s Pawn announced he was recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capitol and would, eventually, move our embassy there, that he would also announce that he was moving his office to Moscow.
    ~sigh~

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/83b735992c43ea60b0f11b5a74b38af330800fbfb5c9835ddbbc035ef926aec8.gif

  • Bill D. Burger
    • JustDon’tSayProbably

      Nope. Focus on the treason. No more squirrels.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        ANYTHING that gets him out of office is worth pursuing.

  • WilbyToad

    Trump’s VA director cut a program that housed homeless veterans despite president’s pledge to take care of them

    A mere two days after Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin renewed President Donald Trump’s promise to house the tens of thousands of homeless veterans in the US, he reneged on the promise and announced the department is scaling back a program that does exactly that.

    Senate Veterans’ Affairs Subcomittee member Patty Murray (D-WA) called the move “a new low,” that was “especially callous and perplexing” given the rise in veteran homelessness.

    by NOOR AL-SIBAI / RAWSTORY
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/trumps-va-director-cut-a-program-that-housed-homeless-veterans-despite-presidents-pledge-to-take-care-of-them/

    Well vets, welcome to the ranks of the perpetually pissed at this Administration.

    • alpacapunchbowl
    • tomamitai
    • shivaskeeper

      No one really cares about Vets. No one holds our representatives accountable to the promises made. Any long term military member will tell you that. We know to not hold our breaths to wait for any promise to come through. As it ever was.

      Vets are an excuse to not take care of others as in, “we can’t do XYZ because there are homeless Vets”. That’s all we are. Once we are done fighting, we are one more drain on the system, one more taker.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Ouch. Well, my shoulder doesn’t work and my stepson has cool GI Joe toys. That’s something!

        • shivaskeeper

          We tend to take care of each other. Again, as it always was. Any old Soldier who thinks anyone else in the country will actually follow through on the promises is deluded. The services don’t give a shit the second you are out and the VA as a whole is deliberately underfunded. It’s just the way it is.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            You come across as dangerously self-aware

          • shivaskeeper

            I am dangerously self aware. Even with a few mild concussions and at least two TBI’s I am still aware. I just wasn’t political while I wore the uniform.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            The TBI scares the shit out of me. I just fell off shit in full kit. Hope you’re hanging in there. Considered running for office?

          • shivaskeeper

            I’m pretty well healed from the TBIs. The brain will find new pathways around the damage.

            As for running for office. No. No chance. I was a career Soldier. I work and excelled in a hierarchy. I told you what to do, or you told me what to do depending on the ranks involved. I did not play politics, or build consensus to get things done. Those are required things to be a politician.

            Aside from that, the decorum required to do the job would be my downfall. Not calling a traitorous fuck and traitorous fuck because they are on the other side of the isle and I am supposed to be respect that protocol just does not work for me.

            Working behind the scenes? Sure. I can do that. But not be the one in the front.

            I always hang in there. I learned to embrace the suck long, long ago.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Sadly true. Your service is valued by many. The tasks the military are put to by the assholes with bone spurs are another thing entirely, but vets are at the front of the line for ratfuckery.

        • shivaskeeper

          Thank you.

      • Persistent Demme

        One of the biggest thing I noticed in Australia was the reverence they have for vets.
        The US is shameful.

        • shivaskeeper

          None of the other vets I know, certainly not me, are looking for reverence. In fact for me, and a lot of my friends, the whole putting troops on a pedestal thing is not a good thing. Most of us really, really do not like it.

          Following through on promises made would be enough. People ask me how to help vets all the time. Other than donating time or money to a legitimate veterans charity, the only answer to to vote for representatives who follow through, or a t least try to, on the promises and vote out those who don’t.

          • Persistent Demme

            Of course you’re not looking for it, (I grew up on various bases, and I know this is true). I even avoid saying “thank you for your service,” to keep from embarrassing a vet. I’d rather buy them a drink anonymously.
            But a society that values and prizes it’s vets keeps its promises, (God help the politicians that don’t), and provides lots of volunteers.
            It’s in the culture.

          • shivaskeeper

            I get it. Thank you.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Man arrested for attempting to steal $800 in merchandise during annual “Shop With The Sheriff” program.

    Guy tries to boost stuff while a couple dozen uniformed deputies are in the store. Now is that dumb or is that dumb?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Very dumb.

    • DT

      Get this man a cabinet position.

      • wait! what?

        “I could have sworn we furnished is office… …a bunch of times.”
        – KaC

    • alpacapunchbowl

      He doesn’t look meth-ed out in his mug shot, so maybe he is just that dumb. Wow.

    • The Wanderer

      Hamster-stranglingly stupid.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      A live warrant, too? The only thing this story is missing is a stolen Police Card.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Just a small challenge….

  • laineypc
  • Bill D. Burger

    Putin’s Pussy’s company has lost one of its most important tenants. Nike announced that it’s closing its 65K sq ft store on East 57th St. in New York.
    The property is worth an estimated $253 million.

    DEC 6, 2017 @ 09:00 AM 39,589 The Little Black Book of Billionaire Secrets
    Donald Trump’s Real Estate Business Is Losing One Of Its Most Important Tenants
    Matt Drange , FORBES STAFF

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/danalexander/2017/12/06/donald-trumps-real-estate-business-is-losing-one-of-its-most-important-tenants/#f9d620fe037c

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      ‘Today the President signed an executive order forbidding Nike from moving its store from his building.’

      • vivian

        Plans to annex Beaverton are in the works.

        • Persistent Demme

          Put a bird on it!

  • Michael R

    The fucker who posted this a few days ago

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/19ca9d61c48aa6b288ac1bc1a8c4015bd20bd4046c0d2abfe31306c828db6191.jpg

    also says :

    “….then they started to create new rights in 1965. And today we’ve got a problem”

    https://youtu.be/k2Fq4GFQEL8

    • Bill D. Burger

      If Roy got the “changes in the world” he’d like, people like Rosa Parks would be on their way to plantations.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        He’d say he was more enlightened than that. But they would definitely still be on the back of the bus, and you wouldn’t have to share a bathroom, swimming pool, or lunch counter with Those People, heavens no.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      When did they change the new Mall rules to respond to this new problem?…

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Started back up in the late 90s, at least it did in Milwaukee area malls.

    • BMW

      Other things that happened in 1965: Roy Moore graduated high school, but didn’t want to give up high school girls.

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    I’m tired. The volume of shit that is pouring from anything and everything GOP is so massive and vile that I can not longer process it. Its beyond beyond. The reason the universe keeps expanding is because it constantly has to make room for all the new shit. I think that is the grand unifying theory everyone has been looking for. Somewhat anti-climactic I’m afraid.

    Is this the man we want to usher in a new world war? Is this the man that our military is going to lay down their lives for? I simply do not fucking get it.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      I’ve been somewhat ambiguous on getting blown up for reasons that don’t really make sense. Spouse likes the 400k in military life insurance but would prefer I not get killed. We live in difficult times

    • Persistent Demme

      These are tough times.
      In case you haven’t seen this…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glii-kazad8

      • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

        Ahhh…corgis! I am not stepping back from the ledge for another day…

        Thank you.

        • Persistent Demme

          So glad this did it’s job!
          Here’s another classic, (there’s a dog one too, but gotta give the cats some love):
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKffm2uI4dk

          • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Did you look at the rest of them! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

          • Persistent Demme

            I love them!

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Pick an issue and follow it. You can’t track everything. I started with healthcare in 2015, started tracking voter suppression and gerrymandering in 2016 and this year, invested in net neutrality.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Hahahaha

    These little things seem so inconsequential, but my father – an avowed Palin supporter – stopped liking her entirely after he watched on her reality show as she poorly handled a gun and then asked if it would kick. https://t.co/IxcI9wVT5q— Jessica Huseman (@JessicaHuseman) December 6, 2017

    • Bananas Foster

      The best people.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      What was he going for? Whitefish?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        You win the internet!

    • Persistent Demme

      Love the fakey outdoorsy cosplay.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Non-Threatening Ron

      ‘Telescreen is boring tonight. What else is on? JUST KIDDING!’

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    Thoughts and Prayers Needed. My application for SSA Disability has been processing for a year and I got a from the adjudicator yesterday that a decision has been made. She can’t say over the phone but I am getting an official letter. I think that I’ll have a better chance than most because the decision is not being made in Georgia, but in Philadelphia.
    I figure that positive energy from my buds is best to ask for.

    • Bananas Foster

      Good luck!

    • data_ninja

      Good luck!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You have all of my best wishes.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Sending positive energy your way.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Good thoughts here!

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Got all of mine I have to give. Hope it helps. But having been down a similar path, be prepared to challenge.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        When I was applying for my reduced fare transit card, a guy gave me the name of a good disability attorney and I wrote it in my journal. I’m prepared.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      i think that the whole SSA disability process is now on a dark track, under this administration. Wishing for the best in your case….

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        I really need the healthcare access more than the stipend, so we’ll see.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Here are some positive vibes for you!

    • Persistent Demme

      All the best!

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Good vibes! Don’t be discouraged if it’s denied the 1st time, that’s part for the course.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Much warmth and good thoughts to you. I will send as much positive energy as I can.

  • mrFawkes
    • data_ninja

      This is called being active in your community and trying to make it a better place. Best of luck to him!

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Just saying, that whole signing off for your competition thing has to be awkward as hell even under normal circumstances.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/938440878577856512

    You know what would be better than an ALL CAPS THANK YOU? If wildland firefighters could count overtime pay as income for purposes of calculating worker’s compensation disability benefits.

    They really don’t ask for much.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      ^^^^THIS!!!

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Left Coast Tom

      That makes a lot of sense (your non-allowed-comment, not L’il Donnie’s thoughts and prayers). It might not make sense in a lot of occupations, but wildland firefighters frequently work hours on end fighting fires, and any “on the job” injury would be directly related to those hours on end of work.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I write wills and whatnot for quite a few of them every year before fire season. It’s a big issue. Most of them are part-timers — and even smokejumpers only make about $16 an hour. Maria Cantwell and Steve Daines introduced legislation to address this (and other issues) last spring, but it’s gone nowhere.

    • tomamitai

      Some are female inmates who are paid $2 a day and $1 an hour when they’re on the fire line.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Netflixing Last King of Scotland. Idi Amin is promising to Make Uganda Great Again.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Cannibalism joke, something-something “…taste the same cooked well-done and topped with ketchup.”
      Ba-dum chik

    • CripesAmighty

      Amazing performance by Forest Whitaker–and if this is your first viewing, look for bravura, haunting turn by none other than Kerry Washington (My crush began with this picture).

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Spoiler: He does not seem to be making Uganda great so far.

  • Dazza

    Tony Abbot in his natural form – railing against marriage equality (his sister is a lesbian and has publicly broken with her brother on this issue). https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/38ea0494c3f57954f864f4e5f874f0c7ae8eb0aba2dac9a1dbbd26ed52d4c660.png

    • Ninja0980

      Not a shock at all.
      Sad to say but people who think anti-LGBT bigots will change their tune because they have an LGBT relative are sadly mistaken.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        (cough) Lynn Cheney (cough)

    • TJ Barke

      “WE’VE GOT TO KEEP THESE PEOPLE FROM BEING TREATED LIKE PEOPLE! BECAUSE JEBUS, MATE!”

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The Mood Lighting isn’t helping?

    • Bill D. Burger
  • Sophia
  • WilbyToad

    James O’Keefe Forgot to Tell Regulators About His Past Conviction. Now, Project Veritas May Be in Trouble.

    The office of New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman laid groundwork to revoke the charitable status of the conservative group Project Veritas last week, claiming it had misled the state about its president James O’Keefe’s past criminal conviction.

    In response, Project Veritas is floating a surprising defense: that O’Keefe, the group’s founder and its most prominent public face for the past eight years, was actually a minor player during its early days.

    “James was not a Director or Officer of the company at that time,” spokesman Stephen Gordon told The Daily Beast on Tuesday.

    The question of O’Keefe’s level of involvement in Project Veritas’ origins could very well determine the group’s future in New York state, where O’Keefe lives and Project Veritas is headquartered. If Schneiderman concludes that Project Veritas ran afoul of state regulations, it could be barred from soliciting contributions in New York.

    by LACHLAN MARKAY / DAILY BEAST
    https://www.thedailybeast.com/james-okeefe-forgot-to-tell-regulators-about-his-past-conviction-and-now-project-veritas-may-be-in-trouble

    Get him, Eric.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Can they take away his phoney-baloney award when he goes to jail?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Schneiderman! I’m tellin’ ya, major crush over here, and he just keeps getting better.

      • It’s kinda funny how many of these “Family Value for the working man!!!” types live in NYC

        • alpacapunchbowl

          As stratified and institutionally racist NYC can be, almost every possible variation of person intermingles on a constant basis, and for those who are willing to see, there’s a lot to be learned. And that can result in someone like this guy who seems to be awesome and grounded and…oops, I’m blushing…

    • rofl, the Manafort defense!
      Who? That guy? We barely knew him!

    • shivaskeeper

      There is Truth in Law.

      Does that sound profound or anything? I was going for profound without actually saying anything at all.

      Also too, tough titty for O’Keefe if he loses this one.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just like the good Christian morals Roy Moore will bring with him to D.C., Donny needs the sanity that LePage can bring.

    Trump is pushing Maine Gov. Paul LePage to run for the Senate, White House advisers tell the Washington Post.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d801db8038cdf2b0367557b40d70213b984c1c8f622f465dc16151af55fa050.jpg

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-wants-lepage-to-challenge-king-in-maine-senate-race/2017/12/06/796af484-daca-11e7-8e5f-ccc94e22b133_story.html?utm_term=.108fe0f5c535

    • cheetojeebus

      Outrageous, that drunk angry dude found down at the end of the bar most nights with really long nose hairs is 10 times more deserving.

      • Gigglesnort

        Are you sure that isn’t LePage?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Have Mariners had enough of the Human Bowling Jacket, as Charlie Pierce calls him?

    • Blackest Noobs

      so he can lose?

  • Been traveling again for work and this is the feeling I am getting from folks…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f2bce7125c9c8967fefd7b1cbbb3740c7eba2d33999dddaacbebd29f0ebf8294.gif

    eta: it played slower (and less irritatingly) on the site I found it…once again Disqus hates me.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • alpacapunchbowl

        No matter how many times I’ve seen this one, I’m always nervous that she’s going to break her ankle.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Mebbee it already broke but cocaine num no feel it

      • Bananas Foster

        God, I hope she’s drunk, because any other explanation is probably medical in nature.

        • I think it is more humans are not meant to walk upon teeny tiny points. Looks like classic high heel aided turn of the ankle to me XD

      • weighmaster

        I broke my ankle in January, that’s painful to watch.

  • Ninja0980

    Make no mistake, Clarence Thomas being able to replace Thurgood Marshall was one of the biggest political events of the past 40 years.
    Bush V Gore, gutting of the VRA etc wouldn’t have happened if Marshall had been able to hang on just a little longer.

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    If you guys have a few Ameros to give to down ballot races, I suggest this guy. A gay man that Kim Davis denied a marriage license is running against her.

    http://www.wsaz.com/content/news/Gay-man-denied-marriage-license-hopes-to-unseat-county-clerk-462319083.html

  • Non-Threatening Ron

    I wish I’d taken today off, but I was confined to my office chair warming my back and waiting for the car and the tractor to get finished. Can tomorrow be any worse? Hard to know.

    • Your office chair warms your back?
      And what tractor?

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Gel pack heated in the microwave. The desk chair holds it better than the La-Z-Boy.
        Tractor’s a 1970 John Deere 140LC, with a tiller on the back and a bucket on the front. It fills a functional gap between the D140 we use to cut the grass and the Farmall Cub we use to plow the driveway.

    • Blackest Noobs

      hope for the best, expect the worse.
      hoorah.

    • Persistent Demme

      Nice touch to show the Santa’s raised arms!

    • Blackest Noobs

      FREE FROSTYS!!!! FREE SATANS!!!! opps i meant FREE SANTAS!!!!!

  • Sophia
    • Persistent Demme

      Damn onions!!

  • WilbyToad

    A team of Republican strategists and ‘true GOP warriors’ donated to Roy Moore’s challenger to save the Republican Party

    Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ)’s donation to Roy Moore Democratic challenger yesterday appears to have started a trend.

    On Wednesday evening, former John McCain and John Kasich strategist John Weaver announced that he, along with four “fellow true GOP warriors” were donating to Doug Jones’ campaign in hopes of saving the party from itself.

    The Republicans joining him in donating to Jones are speechwriter and McCain collaborator Mark Salter, Harvard Belfer Center Senior Fellow Mike Murphy, crisis communications strategist Matt David and Jeb Bush campaign alum Tim Miller.

    by NOOR AL-SIBAI / RAWSTORY
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/a-team-of-republican-strategists-and-true-gop-warriors-donated-to-roy-moores-challenger-to-save-the-republican-party/

    Damn that tax bill is unpopular.

    • TJ Barke

      That ship done sailed, gentlefuckwads.

      • They’re using reverse psychology. All these guys are retiring. All of them are considered Rino cucks by the faithful.
        Anyone wondering if they should vote for a possible pedorest just decided to do just that.

        • Blackest Noobs

          and i mean come, Flake only gave like a 100 bucks.
          i asked the wife a hypothetical, if a Senator could donate any amount to a campaign how much do you think?

          she said $1000.

          • I would say a thousand.
            This is a pure stunt. They REALLY want those tax cuts, AND to seem as if they are Doing Something ™

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Um, a day late and a dollar short?Someone else needs to plug in the exponential equation (here).

      • Bobathonic

        I was told there would be no math.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    I haven’t heard a peep from the Greenwalds and the Snowdens of this world regrading the Furor’s hard on for privatized intelligence gathering.

  • Michael R
    • If the Russians offered they sure as fuck did.
      What is that thing about a president being beholden to a foreign government?

      • Seek

        Emo something or other? A bunch of hipsters in black with bad eye makeup and a heroin chic vibe? No, that’s not it …

      • Beelzebubba

        Never thought of that – you can just go out and buy yourself a shitload of influence over President Fucknut.
        Easy when you run a kleptocracy, and the banks do whatever you tell them to do.

  • proudgrampa

    Ezra Klein, in a Vox editorial:

    “It is a principle that sounds radical until you say it, at which point it sounds obvious: Being extremely bad at the job of president of the United States should be enough to get you fired.”

    https://www.vox.com/2017/11/30/16517022/impeachment-donald-trump

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      I’m on the fence, but should I be given an option of the vox ‘The weeds’ podcast crew seizing power… I think I would be ok

      • proudgrampa

        They seem to be the adults in the room…

    • Left Coast Tom

      True.

      It’s also true that running as a business person while compiling a well-documented record of being very bad at business should be enough to get you not hired in the first place.

      As a Californian, where we went from Obama+23 to Clinton+30, I’m OK about my surroundings.

      Having been born in Michigan…

      • You know, this is petty of me, but I hope Mueller finds the dude owes 10 billion to everyone and their brother and is broke broke broke.
        I would like to see Trump and Business never mentioned in the same sentence again, except as a cautionary tale.

        • Stinky_Hole

          $800,000,000 was the last bid.

          • Bobathonic

            Profession established, price under negotiation.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I’ll go and read the article. But I think you would have to make the distinction between “bad at the job” and “effective or even great but unpopular”.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Depends on the point being made.

        On one level, there’s the fact that the US system combines “head of state” (being popular) and “head of government” (being effective) in the same person. The British “figurehead monarchy” separates these roles.

        On another level, my snark (below) about the difference between the electoral performance between my native (MI) and adopted (CA) homes was related to…what if your boss (the electorate, as determined by the EV) doesn’t actually want competence? Your “boss” may ultimately fail, but while the music is still playing the failure isn’t realized.

  • richardgrabman

    O’Keefe has a striking resemblance to Lee Harvey Oswald… just sayin’

    • TJ Barke

      He’s probably worse for America.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Nananananana Rat Face!

    • tomamitai

      He did before he put on all that weight. Now he looks like he spent a lot of that wing-nut lucre on too much food and drink.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Junior ‘Fredo’ Trump cited attorney-client privilege to avoid telling lawmakers about a conversation he had with the Old Man, after news broke this summer that the younger Trump — and top campaign brass — had met with Russia-connected individuals in Trump Tower during the 2016 campaign.
    He cited ‘attorney / client’ privilege and said there was a lawyer in the room. (He didn’t name the lawyer.)
    Query: If he’s talking to Orange Foolius and not the fucking attorney, how do you invoke the A / C privilege excuse for not answering?
    This is suspicious, no? I’ve dealt with a lot of attorneys in my life, and this is an angle I never considered.
    Smells like bullshit….yup! That’s it.

    https://i.imgur.com/qGhiEIe.gif

    • Where are the right wingers screaming “if they have nothing to hide, they won’t pull that!!!!”

      • tomamitai

        The same place all those who scream “State’s rights!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!” were hiding while Congress mandated conceal carry reciprocity.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Well, until it goes to the Supreme Court and they say it’s okay.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Attorney-client privilege applies to communications between a person and his or her attorney. It means the attorney can not be compelled to testify to what the client tells them. It has no application to non-lawyers or to conversations with attorneys outside the course of representation, and even if a person is communicating with their attorney, if they do so in the presence of a third party, that third party may be compelled to testify.

      If you’ve ever had a lawyer tell you, “I am an attorney; I am not your attorney,” this is what they meant.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Thank you for that explanation. You have to give the guy credit for chutzpah
        “There’s an Attorney in the room! I invoke attorney-client privilege!”

        • ariel_gee_398

          Yeah, and it’s limited to communications made for the purpose of obtaining legal advice. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it’s not applicable in the least here.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            My guess is that it’s a regular Trumpian gambit — “Corporate counsel was in the room; that conversation is privileged.”

        • Beelzebubba

          Cool — if you’re an attorney, you never have to testify to anything, because there’s always an attorney in the room.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Are they trying some weaseldick shit where they try to force some fucked up reading of the whole “between a person and his/her attorney OR *his or her attorney’s agent”?
        If it’s not that, I’m stumped.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          He’s just dumb. Attorney-client privilege is an extremely well defined area of law. There isn’t much room for interpretation.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I’m aware. We deal with a lot of AC issues over on the boring corporate transactional side of attorney world. You and I are both also aware that some of our colleagues will push as far as they can in any direction, especially when they know they’re losing.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            True. That’s getting really close to violating the duty of candor before a tribunal, though. I wouldn’t have wanted to have been sitting at counsel table when he said that.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            You’d be an asset at most any counsel table

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            You’re very kind.

      • h4rr4r

        Not lawyer, but I thought if other people are there it no applies. Oh only to the other people.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Didn’t Jared go to law school? Probably him.

    • jesterpunk

      “What did you have for breakfast this morning?”

      Attorney client privilege, I saw a commercial on TV this morning for a lawyer.

    • h4rr4r

      Why did no one explain how contempt of Congress works?

  • Courser_Resistance

    Just waiting on Rachel. Been busy reorganizing my apartment, so while I know about the fires in SoCal and Jerusalem, I need Rachel to explain it all for me.

    • yyyaz

      Rachel is best ‘splainerpony.

    • Ami

      Love Rachel! She reports breaking news stories with details that most other journalists don’t report. I love the way she weaves every top news segment starting with intricate facts about the background story.
      She’s the best!

  • wait! what?

    Anderson Cooper is doing a great job of mopping the floor with Roy Moore’s spokesperson.

    • WilbyToad

      I still wouldn’t eat off that floor.

    • yyyaz

      From the viewpoint of her audience, it is entirely the other way around. She is talking all over him while they Rebel Yell themselves hoarse.

      • wait! what?

        I dunno. The local die hard republicans at the Mariano’s I was watching the interview from were enraged at Anderson’s questions more than celebrating the answers.

        • yyyaz

          Somehow I am imagining those locals as wearing suits.

          • wait! what?

            It’s a fashionably diverse crowd, but I didn’t see any suit wearers at all.

  • Suse
    • Bananas Foster

      Oh, but they’re all just uncompleted Christians…

      Or some bullshit like that.

      • Suse

        “unperfected” per Ann Coulter.

        • Bananas Foster

          She should know.

          She’s a perfect…

          Word I don’t use.

          • Dried up slack lipped cunt?

          • vivian

            You don’t use the word “husk”?

          • counterlife

            Rhymes with “bundt” – you know, like those cakes we like.

          • weighmaster

            Well, you know, if she was a tree…

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      And don’t forget, at that time, Christians will only be interested in saving Jews who convert.

      • shivaskeeper

        According to Revelation, it will be 144,000 singing male virgins. 12K each from the 12 tribes. The rest of the Jews burn in Hell.

        • Beelzebubba

          That’s the cool thing about being omnipotent: you get to be totally arbitrary about everything.

        • yyyaz

          Kinda makes me want to believe I’d be going to hell — that heaven place sounds like being trapped in a BYU music hall.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Talk about one gross.

    • WilbyToad

      No joke. This is TRUE. Isis loves it too because they believe their decimated ranks will engage Israel in the final battle when Jesus arrives to give them (Isis) the victory.

      We should not play in that playpen. Kushner is an idiot.

    • Michael R
    • shivaskeeper

      This is the “Christian” take on it.

      For the political take, forget Russia. Bibi and his hardliners have wanted war with Iran for a long time. The thing is, they don’t want to fight a war with Iran. Why should they? It’s much easier to manipulate the American Religious Right to starting that war and dragging the rest of us into it.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        They also know the Saudis want that war as well.

        • hudson

          saudis want war does not mean they will do the actual fighting themselves.

      • hudson

        i may be wrong. but iran could have been our real ally. it has generated many forward looking, intellectually curious types throughout history. there is something in that society that makes them do so. imvho, they are a people with joy for life.

        almost all of the intellectual achievements in the middle east can be traced back to persians, iraqis, syrians or the lebanese (discounting israel, which seems to be a perennial fount of intellectual curiosity).

        • shivaskeeper

          Maybe. We are not forgiven for deposing the Shah. That was stupid. Do the regular people in Iran see us as the Great Satan? No. But they aren’t in charge.

          • hudson

            what i have seen from my interaction with them in 3 decades, is that the regular people do engage the modern world in a positive way. they want to learn and try new things, they are open, adaptive, competitive and assimilative.

          • shivaskeeper

            Just like most everyone else. They want their kids to be better off than they are. Just get on with life. Even the Saudis I met were like that. As long as the Vice Police weren’t looking.

          • Johnatx

            We didn’t depose the Shah. We (the US and the UK) deposed Mosaddegh, the prime minister in 1953 and replaced him with General Zahedi and eventually Reza Pahlavi was installed as ruler (the Shah). The Brits, in particular, were pissed that Mosaddegh nationalized the oil companies (Anglo-Iranian, predecessor of BP)

          • shivaskeeper

            Goddam it. That’s what happens when you don’t proofread your pwn comments. Installed, not deposed. It was supposed to be installed. Good catch. Thank you.

          • Johnatx

            No problem. Add oil company shenanigans to a volatile mixture of religious and ethnic as strife and you have a recipe for a lot of problems. Never worked Iran. Only worked the Gulf Arab countries, most recently Iraq.

    • Meccalopolis

      They know. They don’t care

  • Juan de Fuca

    O/T but this Roy Moore spokesperson, the one who got humiliated by Poppy Harlow this morning and is now getting obliterated by Anderson Cooper is certifiably batshit crazy.

    Like, to the point that even Sarah Palin is sitting somewhere thinking to herself “Not helping.”

    This woman is literally fucking crazy.

    • jesterpunk

      They found someone worse then Trump’s multiple spokespeople?

      • Beelzebubba

        Oh yes . . . this is the insanity that keeps Moore afloat:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb0JHME4dsg
        Jeebus weeps.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Batshit crazy. Poppy Harlow asked her this morning if she (Moore’s spokesperson) believed any of Moore’s accusers and the woman literally replied with “Well, Poppy, I’ll tell you who I do believe and support and it’s that 8 month old baby in your womb just as Roy Moore does.”

        Certifiably.Fucking.Crazy.

    • cheetojeebus

      Right out of fucking central casting. When we have folks like this opining on anything before the larger public we’ve already lost.

  • Left Coast Tom

    Insurance claims for the North Bay fires have topped 9 billion (and, I’d guess, will rise). I wouldn’t be surprised to see the current southern CA fires with insurance claims also in the billions.

    • jesterpunk

      So what you’re saying is Trump and/or Republicans in congress will pass a bill or sign an EO saying insurance companies dont have to pay out claims?

      • wait! what?

        “The forest needs to pull itself up by it’s saplings.”

      • Beelzebubba

        Unless it’s Orange County that’s burning.

        • jesterpunk

          Isnt that where Issa steals cars?

          • Phried Ω

            North San Diego county. That’s the next county south. Just a sliver of Orange county. He’ll lose next year.

        • Left Coast Tom

          Orange County voted for Clinton pretty decisively, 51-42. The only coastal county that voted for Donnie is Del Norte, in the far northwest corner.

    • Suse

      Builders and contractors are telling people in my brother-in-law’s neighborhood in Santa Rosa that they can build and get everyone back in their new homes by spring! That’s total BS, of course. He just bought a house in Santa Fe, NM and will sell his lot later.

      • h4rr4r

        Just in time to get ready for the next fire!

      • Left Coast Tom

        Last month I was picking up my wine club wines from Carol Shelton…driving from there to Limerick Lane where I had wine to pick up…I drove through Coffey Park and Fountain Grove. There was construction activity already going on in Fountain Grove.

        Still, there’s also the scam artists to watch out for.

    • Beelzebubba

      The fires are creating more jobs than the GOP ever did.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Something makes me think that if Rula Jebreal met with Trump he would reverse his position on Muslims and Jerusalem.

    • CripesAmighty

      Nah. Something tells me she would not be interested in his offer of a little slap and tickle over Big Macs.

  • Beelzebubba
    • I’d replace the second sign with one saying “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Im telling you, the (not calling for action!) Trolls on the GFY thread make me feel like I’m baiting very……slow……fish.

    • WilbyToad

      An angler would know them as suckers.

    • Suse

      Which thread? The SRH one from last week?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        The GFY Sanders thread. About every 6 hours or so, some eejit trots along to say how offended they are. And then to insult Evan.

        • Suse

          Weak and sad…

          • I am curious….did they have this much issue with Trump’s language? How about Blightfart making hang jokes about Obama or calling Michelle a tranny?

          • Suse

            Of course not. For some reason, SHS is a sacred cow.

          • Beelzebubba

            ISWYDT

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I completely do not understand SHS’s weird cult following.

        • Edith Prickly

          They are still there? Sheesh. Old news, folks.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yeah. But its giving me an excuse to look for winter holiday music.

    • Would you like a stick of dynamite?

    • shivaskeeper

      Still?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Still. And i have to tell you, there have to be not-annoying Solstice songs. But I can’t find them.

        • Suse

          The haz a confuze by your muzik posts.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I have no problem whatsoever with wiccans. Nor with the winter Solstice. I just wish every song on the YouTube wasn’t so damn new age. Anybody have suggestions?

          • Dreidel song?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            There’s actually quite a few cool Hannakah songs. This is my current favorite.

            https://youtu.be/DtlLHwk9_Rw

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’m baiting very……slow……fish

      That’s how I felt growing up in MI fishing for walleye, but walleye are incredibly delicious, while the trolls just seem incredibly stupid.

      • Stinky_Hole

        Meh, they’re ‘bating, too. Better over there than having to mop up over here.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Still the funniest damned thing I’ve seen today, coming, as it did, in that perverse and twisted teleprompter recitation.
    “…and God blesh’ the Uniteth Sthats.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5w4y6GW4U8

    http://p.fod4.com/p/media/a709a881a4/s4PhuADNSBO3PoxVP7hT_stick-tongue-out-teeth.gif

    • Blackest Noobs

      i know everyone is saying loose false tooth but im just not seeing it…i mean i think i do but i am not sure…but that last part with the what he does with his mouth says something went wrong…but when does the tooth starting getting loose?

      • Suse

        I can see him using his tongue to push the plate back into place, I think.

        • Stinky_Hole

          It looks like his lower partial plate has got free.

        • Blackest Noobs

          so ha ha ha my dumbass finally watched with the sound on and with Trevor Noah commentary….NOW i see well hear it.

          oooooh my fucking god it was worse than i had imagined.

          He is so in over his head and so fucking incompetent.

    • WilbyToad

      Shernk yer vurry mush.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • jesterpunk

      Well she is kind of right. Once the wars are all finished the survivors might be willing to negotiate peace.

      • shivaskeeper

        Nah. As this planet is crashing into the sun, the bacteria that are the only thing left in the middle east at the time will be at war with each other.

        • jesterpunk

          Is that before or after Jesus comes back and Republicans throw him into Gitmo?

          • shivaskeeper

            Yes.

    • Hmm this beehive’s been buzzing for a while now, maybe I’ll get some honey if I stick my cock in it.

    • Phried Ω

      The bigger hammer school of watch repair.

      • wait! what?

        Oversized mittens supplied at no extra cost.

      • CripesAmighty

        Gasoline and zippo method of fire prevention

    • Yes. Let us do the absolute worst thing we can think of and see if that fixes it!
      BRILLIANT!

    • h4rr4r

      We also have not tried simply staying out of it. We could stop supporting either side and let them sort it out.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Yes, maybe if we insult everybody they will unite against us.

      • Blackest Noobs

        THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        i would have definitely loved not having to go over there and then six months in country getting fucking shot…so yes..THIS by A LOT.

      • If I was in charge, here’s what I’d do.

        Call for a conference. Invite representatives from every interested party in the region. Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Palestine, Egypt, Turkey, Lebanon, the Kurds, the Yazidi, EVERYONE.

        I’d prepare a huge map of the region – with no borders shown. Just geographical features, and the major cities.

        I’d tell them, “OK. A century ago, we in the West drew lines on the map that wound up screwing you over. So here’s your chance to draw your own lines. I’ll be back in a month to see what you’ve come up with. Oh, and by the way, it’s non-binding. I’m just curious to see what the result will be.”

      • CripesAmighty

        Curious, indeed. What part, precisely, of ‘America First'(durr) isolationism included kicking over a gas can in the Middle East and dropping a match?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      By “something different” she means ” Armageddon”, right?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Think of the ratings, right before everything is bathed in nuclear fire.

        • RMKH

          We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when, but we’ll meet again some sunny day

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I like it. The next time I hear my neighbors arguing, I’m gonna set the husband’s car on fire, thereby bringing peace to the neighborhood.

    • Left Coast Tom

      You know, we haven’t seen Trump actually do anything during the past year (sitting on the toilet and tweeting doesn’t count as “doing something”). Maybe if we set all his golf courses on fire we’ll see some accomplishments?

      • jesterpunk

        He does have one in Rancho Palos Verdes, California.

    • CripesAmighty

      Why, yes, Nikki, we haven’t tried taking a dump in the middle of the conference table, so why don’t we try that? Hm?

    • Beelzebubba

      Simple 3-step plan:
      1. Recognize Jerusalem as capital of Israel
      2. Who the fuck knows what.
      3. Peace in the Mideast.

      Now THAT is the sign of a very good brain at work.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You forgot:

        4. ???
        5. PROPHET PROFIT!!!!111!

    • vivian

      If you have trouble learning math, smash your head with a brick.
      Also works for English! Sadly, for History you need two bricks.

  • Clarence Thomas’s Wife Gives James O’Keefe Award For Defending Puberty

    How do you make a hormone?
    https://cloudfront.mediamatters.org/static/uploader/image/2016/06/23/okeefe1.png

    .
    .
    .
    Don’t pay him

  • Shane

    Ginny Thomas has the worst case of jungle fever I’ve ever seen.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    Sorry, going to tell a self indulgent story. Been running through my head today as I’m doing medical paperwork.

    I tried to quit during army infantry basic training. Drill sgt tells me we will do the paperwork tomorrow. Next day, he tells me we’ll be in the field the next two days, do it when we get back. We get back, he says I need to take the fitness test and then we’ll talk.

    10 weeks later, my dad gets hurt and can’t come to graduation. I ask this drill sgt to put on my infantry blue chord at the graduation ceremony. Morning of graduation comes and he puts it on. Then he looks at me and says “you dumb son of a bitch, I was never going to let you quit. You’re a soldier.”

    I’m not sure what the moral of the story is. But, it stuck.

    • Wait. You dumb son of a bitch, you’re a soldier?
      Musta had aspirations of the Marines.
      *runs and hides*

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I’ve been called much worse

        • You’ve been called worse than Marine?
          Sorry I kid, I love the big lugs ^.^ Not as much as those seabies dudes though, they’re fun as all get out

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            My cousin was a marine. I know, they are basically he-man come down from castle gray skull :)

          • There may or may not be a saying which goes Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential
            Won’t do the Rangers one though, it is crass and pearls will be clutched.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Haha, I got the ranger and SF recruitment offers. I’m also afraid to stand more then 3 feet above ground, so jump school was a no go.

            On the rappel tower in basic, the manning sgt asks if I’m scared. I say ‘yes drill sgt.’ He calls me a bitch and kicks me. It was a good life experience :)

          • I have no fear of rappel towers. But the bullets, and sundry other projectiles, that bit scares the holy fuck outta me.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            That’s why when you kick a door, you lead with your chest. It has the body armor :)

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            My dad was a Navy man, so he always said Marine stood for “My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment”.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            My stepson wants to join the navy. I pretend it doesn’t hurt :)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            He’s young. And also wise. ( Navy family, myself)

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I have a friend who sometimes gets a little too Marine. I calm him down by asking, “So, you were in the Navy’s army?”

            Gets him every time.

          • TJ Barke

            That’s “Maureen”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I had a coach like that – it was one of those “Don’t throw away potential because of momentary setbacks” types of things. At least, now that I’m older and wiser I see it that way.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      He sounds like a person who could identify a talented and intelligent person.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I do have a rare trait- the ability to stop bullets. The army does need it :)

        You are far too nice. I hope you have a kitty on your lap this evening

    • BosGrl

      There are those people that can really change your life for the better. Not everyone gets one of those people. I’m glad you did :).

    • Meccalopolis

      That’s a good drill instructor. Mine called me a Commie all through basic, never got me to quit though

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Why a commie?

        • Meccalopolis

          Well, I came in with long hair and wouldn’t kneel for group prayers.

    • shivaskeeper

      Out-fucking-standing.

  • BigCSouthside

    I’m still fucking pissed about the Dem Senate calling for Al Franken’s head. There has to be rational skepticism, not just “bitches be lyin” or “ he is a scumbag”. There is also no way we can let them weaponize decency. They’ve done this for years. Conyers should go. The evidence fits the call to resign.

    They wanted Al Franken specifically, and they are going to get him

    • Yeah. I mean, I was all o.O with the posing with the unconscious woman. She was unconscious. That was wrong. He admitted such.
      But…squeezing at the waist is…not copping a feel? I mean, did he grab ass? Rub boob? Hey Al, let us pose with you hugging me, but make sure you hug professionally?
      I don’t get this latest one.

      • And Leanne Tweeden ACCEPTED HIS APOLOLGY. That ought to be enough to let that one drop, right? Right?

    • Stinky_Hole

      But, if he stayed, we couldn’t be pure. We must be pure, to be able to defeat the current threat.

      • BigCSouthside

        Lol. Yeah seems to be the case. I’d prefer if we could. I’m at a point where the threat is so dire, it’s time to fight dirty. There will be collateral damage, and that sucks, but I want us in power so people can have healthcare and good educations and we aren’t engaged in shitty wars, and we boost the economy with viable programs. AND we advance this conversation we are having

        We can’t do that if we allow the right to pick off effective legislators and we pull the trigger for them

        • Ah but turn about is fair play. We get to pick off theirs for the same thing see

          • BigCSouthside

            The problem is they have a force field. It’s called moral bankruptcy. They’ve made liberal more vile than pedophile.

          • oh hell honey, they made Liberal worse than ISIS.
            No. Really. They say that.

          • Stinky_Hole

            What is this ‘fair play’ of which you speak? All they care about is winning. We knee-cap each other while they cut Medicare.

          • jesterpunk

            They elected someone who bragged about sexual assault and walking in on teens when they where naked. They are also now supporting a pedophile. So expecting them to have morals and a conscience wont really work.

    • I’m with you BigC. I suspect there’s more to the story, either in his favor or not. Something seems missing here.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Double Standard in the media, but that’s also because progressives care about this while conservatives don’t.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        White Evangelical conservatives!

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Tina DuPuy in the Atlantic nailed his coffin. That story is credible. It started out as Ratfcking, but they knew they’d strike gold.

    • Senator Gillebrand, since you led the calls for Franken’s resignation, what will be your actions should Roy Moore get elected? Do you plan on calling for the impeachment of President Trump on similar grounds?

      • BigCSouthside

        Seriously, if the call for Franken isn’t coupled with a fucking firebombing campaign against the right, this will hurt a lot of good people and help a lot of bad people

      • ltmcdies

        I imagine yes to both counts.
        This is enough. Frankin is damaged. He can sit in the senate and be a reliable democratic vote but the thing everyone loved about Al was his ability to put GOP feet the fire in public. Well that’s done. So is any likely presidential run. I don’t how this stuff affects the day to day but it probably has some

        It sucks but there it is.

        • BigCSouthside

          That’s the thing. It’s not just Al. They damage some of our best and brightest and WE LET THEM. Hillary and Nancy are great examples. The democrats dont ever defend their people with tenacity and emotion. We assume that people will learn the facts. We need to be out there calling these people fucking liars and whores of K Street. It needs to be a savage campaign. We need to equate these fucking cocksuckers with the enemies of the values of the constitution because they fucking are. We’ve gotten so passive we’ve let them corrupt the very constitutional ideals that are this country ‘s legacy.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            The person who damaged Al was Al. Completely different from Hillz and Pelosi. Please dont conflate these two different situations. Because thats bullshit.

          • BigCSouthside

            Al Franken is not a sexual assaulting slime ball. I’ll say it. He’s not. When he first ran they threw EVERYTHING from his career against him and he barely won. We created a new environment, and the right immediately weaponized it. The shit that didn’t stick back in his first campaign sticks now and they fucking knew it.

            Same tactic. They’ve pulled that shit with Hillary and Nancy for decades. They recycle some shit with new messaging and all of a sudden it works.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Look, i think that his call to be investigated by the ethics committee was the right one to make. These are real allegations being made. But that’s different from the bullshit thats been thrown at Hilary and Pelosi, which are entirely fabricated. If you don’t see the difference, then we really have nothing to talk about.

          • BigCSouthside

            I’m saying that they will jump on ANYTHING to smear the best and most effective we have. Some expose themselves more, but the tactic remains the same. Bill Clinton, probably the best fiscal president of my lifetime, exposed himself. Hillary defending him exposed her (and then they went off into the fucking ether). We don’t defend our people. Expecting these people to be perfect is naive, and ultimately our downfall.

    • jesterpunk

      Franken needs to have his ethics investigation he called for. We know conservatives will weaponize our ethics and use them against us whenever they can. We also know groups like Project VeryGross have no problem with faking sexual assaults/ harassment to try and make liberals look bad.

      • BigCSouthside

        Agreed. And having the ethics investigation would set good precedent even if they find it all true

        • jesterpunk

          Also didnt we learn in the last 8 years that no matter what we do republicans still wont like us even if we do exactly what they want?

          • BigCSouthside

            Yep. I want them fucking destroyed. They used to be reasonable, but not anymore. I want them gone, and I want the Democrats to start firing back. I love Michelle Obama, but they go low, we go high is a tactical error. We’re assuming they are good faith actors and they aren’t. It’s time to reduce the house of Lincoln to fucking ashes

      • ((( Augustus )))

        it’s all manufactured bullshit, but the producers are getting high on their own supply and I think a lot of them actually believe their own hype

        the “conservatives,” that is

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Donna Brazile is on Chris.

    • Selling more books?

      • bobbert

        Ya, I’m kinda done with Donna.

        • BJW

          I’m sure she will land where she can make the most money. It won’t be with the Democratic Party.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Must defend libety against tranny at all costs

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Give me liberty, or give me estradiol!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Well if it goes over $25, you’ll have to count me out tonight.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Cute girl just texted to say she ordered “part” of my Xmas gift.

    Aww. *swoon*

    http://37.media.tumblr.com/d8ee3cdde47093d7f7a3322f2181f323/tumblr_mhyrzt1SGP1qh59n0o4_250.gif

    • hudson

      batteries not included?

      • therblig

        that’s xxxmas

  • RMKH

    Evan, what do you mean, you don’t care? I’m so very hurt.

  • Suse

    Why can’t we have a coup? Honestly, we and the rest of the world are in fucking DANGER!11!!!

    • jesterpunk

      Because coups never work out well for anyone.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Yep, they always seem like a quick fix but really destabilize everything. Look at what Sulla did to the Roman Republic.

        Let Mueller do what he does best.

      • Suse

        Well, how about something like a coup, but not really an official coup? Like storming the WH with tiki torches and weed whackers?

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Your talking about a modern Jacksonian White House party!

          • That would be missing a two ton block of cheese

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Hey!

          • My favourite West Wing quote, “Andrew Jackson, in the foyer of his White House, had a two-ton block of cheese”

          • WomanInThePersistence

            This is really a thing.

            Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing Over 7,000 Pounds”

            by James McIntyre (1827-1906)

            “We have seen thee, queen of cheese,
            Lying quietly at your ease,
            Gently fanned by evening breeze,
            Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

            All gaily dressed soon you’ll go
            To the great Provincial show,
            To be admired by many a beau
            In the city of Toronto.

            Cows numerous as a swarm of bees,
            Or as the leaves upon the trees,
            It did require to make thee please,
            And stand unrivalled, queen of cheese.

            May you not receive a scar as
            We have heard that Mr. Harris
            Intends to send you off as far as
            The great world’s show at Paris.

            Of the youth beware of these,
            For some of them might rudely squeeze
            And bite your cheek, then songs or glees
            We could not sing, oh! queen of cheese.

            We’rt thou suspended from balloon,
            You’d cast a shade even at noon,
            Folks would think it was the moon
            About to fall and crush them soon.”

        • jesterpunk

          Something like a repeal and replace? Repeal Trump and replace him with Hillary?

          • Suse

            There ya go.

        • Sophia

          Weed whackers! I like it

          • cmd resistor

            Can you do the ditch in my front yard too?

      • wait! what?

        Sedans, on the other hand…

        • Beelzebubba

          I’m partial to saloons.

          Wait – what were we talking about?

          • wait! what?

            The end of the world as we know it…

      • Juan de Fuca
        • Johnatx

          I’ll be in my bunk. What a machine

    • Alternative Dog

      I totally understand how you feel but have some patience. Well executed coups take time. :-)

    • The only way we get a coup is if the military does it.
      We do NOT want the USA being run from the Pentagon. You think this shit show is bad?

      • shivaskeeper

        You are correct. You do not want that.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Flynn was a general. Kelly too. You speak the truth.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      You know who won’t stage a coup? Robert Mueller.

    • hudson

      we don’t want that?

      we have a process and a system. please let mueller do his job?

      we don’t want a coup. that destroys something more fundamental.

      • Suse

        I’m just frustrated. Every day Dotard is in charge, more damage is done. I just can’t believe this is being allowed to happen. It’s a nightmare.

        • hudson

          these things go in a cycle. currently, we are stuck in a trough. things will improve. good thing is we can voice our discontent and eventually force a change, putin willing.

          we shall overcome. please don’t change the system.

          • JustDon’tSayProbably

            Well, but: Are we at the bottom of the trough? Are we Germany 1945 or Germany 1929?

          • hudson

            who’s to say those were the real bottoms? mebbe we’ll go lower (not likely, imo).

          • Stinky_Hole

            The “real bottoms”? Trump, Pence, McConnell, Ryan, Flynn – I could go on. Happy to take it as long as the money is on the nightstand afterwards…

          • Courser_Resistance

            And if NK nukes us in the meantime? Nuclear war breaks out in the middle east?

            Please tell me where patience has gotten me over the last 30 years

        • Beelzebubba

          In the final analysis, nobody with an ounce of brains will ever vote Republican again.
          Not to say they won’t still win elections in certain states, but it’s not a bad starting point for the next decade or two.

          • TJ Barke

            Unfortunately Fox has effectively lobotomized a lot of people.

          • Stinky_Hole

            Yeah, don’t count on that – if that ‘ounce’ is only interested in $$$, that brain will vote Republican every time.

          • TJ Barke

            Or fucking over gays, or fucking over minorities, or fucking over libs…

          • Stinky_Hole

            Oh, that’s just gravy – $ is the only thing that motivates them (and when $$$=power, even more so).

          • suziq

            I think we have determined there are a high number of people without an ounce of brains these days. Has it always been that bad and I did not notice?

        • Stinky_Hole

          Hmmm, maybe the Koch’s and Mercer’s and the Russians all figured they had mutual interests and wrecking the government and causing chaos in the world = profits?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          If it helps, other people have noticed that. *swigs more wine*

        • suziq

          I am with you-seems like we should do something at this point! Or 13 months ago.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Dude, the world is on fucking FIRE!

        It will be a pyrric victory if he’s only held to account AFTER he has destroyed democracy. What then? I’m old, I don’t have much time.

        Please don’t ask me to ‘suck it up for the good of…’. I’ve sucked it up my entire fucking life, okay?

        • hudson

          how does a military coup help preserve democracy?

        • Stinky_Hole

          Torches and pitchforks, then.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Kelly, McMaster, Mattis, and Flynn were some of our military’s best and brightest. You really want to take a chance on the B-team?

      • Suse

        I want Hillz and Liz to swoop in and kick some ass.

    • therblig

      coup-coup-ca-choo, mrs. robinson

      • Old town Urbandale

        I am the walrus, coup-coup-ca-choo

        • therblig

          ok, now that we’ve given the resistance password and countersign, let’s get down to business.

        • Suse

          goo goo g’joob is the real phrase – I learned this recently.

  • WilbyToad

    One Bombshell Text Message From Mike Flynn May Put An End To The Trump Presidency

    The question of what Russia was supposed to get in return for helping Trump win the election was answered today as a bombshell text from Mike Flynn to a business partner promised to rip up the Obama sanctions on Russia as one of Flynn’s first orders of business.

    The New York Times reported that Flynn texted a business partner who he had a deal with to build nuclear power plants in Russia:

    The letter went on to say that “Mr. Copson explained that General Flynn was making sure that sanctions would be ‘ripped up’ as one of his first orders of business and that this would allow money to start flowing into the project.”

    by Jason Easley / POLITICSUSA
    http://www.politicususa.com/2017/12/06/bombshell-text-message-mike-flynn-put-trump-presidency.html

    Yeah, I’m seduced by that headline too.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I haven’t been so excited about a headline since “The One Weird Trick To End Crepey Skin”.

      Hopefully PoliticsUSA is a bit more responsible with their headlines than Taboola though.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Unfortunately the text was written moments after Trump was inaugurated. While it suggests that this was the result of collusion before the election, that’s not enough. I want to see evidence that there was a conversation about ending sanctions before the election. [Takes off glasses and puts them angrily on desk].

  • Sophia

    Okay so I was busy at work today, ended up working late and didn’t have time to catch up on the news. I now find out Flynn was playing The Brain to Trump’s Pinkie and Trump’s dentures are trying to escape from him just like the rest of us. I should have just gone to bed when came home. Sigh.

  • Ami

    You just know that off camera O’Keeffe is a totally sick perv.

    • He’s hiding it on camera? I must have missed that

    • Well, he did want to kidnap a lady so he could torture her and make her plead for her life

    • Master Contrail Program

      Off camera?

      • Ami

        OK. A sicker perv than he is on camera.
        Now back to watching Rachel. She’s reporting DJTJ is claiming client/ attorney privilege when asked about conversations he had with Daddy??? He’s NOT AN ATTORNEY. What a dumbass liar. LOCK HIM UP!

  • (oops – can’t delete a mispost)

    • JustDon’tSayProbably

      “Granma Got Run Over By a Deer Running From a Wildfire?”
      I luv that song!

  • mrFawkes

    Well duh. Every white nationalist knows to not send their kids to Asians Coloreds and Latinos University. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0d3e503dea50276363273572f88ce920acaec3de7ad476275d1faa55d64eecdd.png

    • Juan de Fuca

      It’d be even funnier after D Martinez realizes that Kaepernick didn’t go to UCLA, either.

      • mrFawkes

        Yep. Nevada-Reno, home of the Uppity Kneelers.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        They lysdexic or something?

  • From “The Dick van Dyke Show”, Rose Marie lets it rip as Sally Rogers:

    Santa Send a Fella
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAw_BbWrwOI

    • BosGrl

      Absolutely love her.

      • Suse

        What a great show that was.

        • Phried Ω

          Buddy hammering Mel Cooley is dear to my heart.

    • WilbyToad

      I resist Christmas songs in general, but this is precious.

    • RMKH

      I see a tiny influence on Lili von Schtupp

  • Suse

    Dotard, Jr. citing atty-client privilege re convos with Dotard, Sr. What a fucking idiot!

    • BosGrl

      They just make up their own rules.

      • Me not sure

        What are these “rules” of which you speak?

        • BosGrl

          We’ve got a few lawyers here. Can anybody explain why they think they can get away with this?

          • Me not sure

            …also too, psychiatrists.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            What’s the Republican-majority Senate Intelligence Committee gonna do? Demand he answer the question? Hold him in contempt?

          • Phried Ω

            Not bloody likely.

          • Suse

            Because they are the Trumps!

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            I think they’re trying to claim a lawyer was in the room, so that means it’s privileged. Which is a pretty shallow reading – if the attorney was acting in the capacity of an attorney (giving legal advice, providing legal services), it would apply. If the attorney was not acting in this capacity (or not involved at all in the conversation), privilege doesn’t attach.

          • Juan de Fuca

            They’re a member of the protectedtariat? No, wait, that doesn’t work. They’re a member of the noblesse oblige without the nobility part. Still reaching…

            They’re RWNJ politicians. The protected class.

        • hudson

          that’s a trick question. they make it up on the fly so nobody can list them. but the general frame is – i did it, so it must be correct.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Good luck with that. He should keep in mind that Mueller has already dealt with a real attorney making this claim while the attorney was participating in the crime in question (an exception to that privilege).

    • CripesAmighty

      Huh? Ok, he’s pulled way ahead in the who’s the dumbest dotard offspring derby.

    • BigCSouthside

      If either of them can pass the NY bar I’ll eat my hat.

      • Phried Ω

        I hear dotard doesn’t drink.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Donald Jr. is citing lawyer-client privilege with his father.

    Which one is the “lawyer”?

    • Suse

      NOT, K

    • jesterpunk

      Did either of them get a law degree from Trump University?

      • Master Contrail Program

        I don’t think either of them even slept in a Holiday Inn Express the prior night.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Trump’s chief clown counsel went to Cooley, so . . .

      • hudson

        Both of them feel like it.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Dishonorary degree.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Churlish Doctorate.

    • Me not sure

      Hell, even his “lawyers” are not that good. They might as well represent themselves.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Ty Cobb libelz… well not really.

        • Left Coast Tom

          I thought Ty Cobb was supposed to be representing the Office of the Presidency, while Jay Sekulow was supposed to represent (snerk) Trump? And, where does Dodd fit in?

  • Amy!

    It was just a typo!

    “Defunding”

    Anyone could’ve made that mistake.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • h4rr4r

      This why BTC is dead. These electrical costs mean high transaction fees. No one wants to pay those.

  • Cousin I