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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Thousands of people are being evacuated in Ventura County, California, as wildfires envelop large swaths of Los Angeles suburbs.
EVACUATIONS ARE NOW MANDATORY!

GOOD NEWS! Time’s Person of the Year is “The Silence Breakers,” AKA the women who have came forward to expose rampant sexual harassment.

The bipartisan push to protect Robert Mueller’s investigation is being spearheaded by Congressional Democrats as Trump’s buddies flail around in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

The Russian lawyer lady told the Senate Judiciary committee that DJTJ was left with blue balls when he realized she didn’t have any dirt on Hillary Clinton, and only wanted to talk about importing Russian brides, or whatever.

Congressional investigators have broken out their magnifying lenses as they eyeball all the unusual trips to Europe by Trump’s minions during the 2016 campaign. (There were SO MANY unusual trips to Europe!)

House Republicans are promising not to work with Democrats to avert another Republican-sponsored government shutdown.

Tax lawyers are still screaming about all the potential for obscene amounts of fuckery in the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich), causing one former Bush 43 Treasury official to comment, “The more you read the more you go, ‘Holy crap, what’s this?'”

Super-rich conservatives, like the Koch Brothers, are spending oodles of Ameros to try and convince people that trickle down economics works, and to support the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich).

Trump’s businesses stand to gain bigly under the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich), surprising nobody.

The Trump administration will recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and now everyone is bracing for the hell about to break loose.

The USDA will take a more hands-off approach to food stamps, that way states like Wisconsin can crank their poor-fucking up to 11.

John Conyers resigned over allegations that he’s a pervy old man.

Members of the Congressional Black Caucus are pissed about what they say is a double standard for John Conyers after it was revealed that he’s a pervy old man. (THEY’RE NOT WRONG.)

With a wallet full of cash from his time at Goldman Sachs, Steve Bannon held a rally in support of ALLEGED pedophile and Alabama Republican Senate Candidate Roy Moore. Bannon rambled and railed about Mitt Romney, Vietnam, draft dodgers, and the lack of support from DC for an ALLEGED child molester.

Doug Jones was getting SAVAGE on Twitter last night as he criticized Roy Moore and Steve Bannon as carpetbaggers who can’t hold down a job.

As Roy Moore stalked the local mall thumping his Bible back in the 1980s, he was also sexxing his wife months before she was divorced from her first husband. No worries, it’s not like there’s a rule against banging thy neighbor’s wife in one of the Ten Commandments he had carved in stone for his court.

ICMI: They used to call Roy Moore “Fruit Salad” in college, and he was such an asshole that he was afraid of being fragged his own soldiers in Vietnam.

Senate Republicans are grumbling behind closed doors about Roy Moore. Meanwhile, the RNC has sent a paltry $50,000 to the Alabama Republican Party, causing Roy Moore supporters to ask, “Just the tip?”

John Kelly’s former deputy, Kirstjen Nielsen, is your new Homeland Security Secretary, and will undoubtedly be held responsible for building Trump’s Tortilla Curtain.

The number of people caught attempting to sneak into ‘Murica has decreased by 24 percent from last year, but some border agents are still bitching for their blast/climb-proof wall.

Democratic Texas Rep. Al Green wants to bring articles of impeachment on Trump (again) later today, but the GOP is expected to table it (again).

Doctors say that people serving at the US Embassy in Cuba now show brain abnormalities, but they’re being careful not to say that they were victims of some kind of sonic weapon (yet.)

An Oklahoma state senator pleaded guilty to a federal charge of child sex trafficking — and police just released the body cam footage showing him answering the door with a stoned 17 year old boy while the senator wore a shirt that showed the words “Ephesians 5:22” and “now go make me a sandwich.”

Russia has been banned from the 2018 Winter Olympics for doping, with the IOC saying that Russian government officials are banned, and that its flag will not fly, nor will its anthem sound.

The Palestinian envoy to the United Kingdom is warning that Trump moving the US embassy in Israel to Jerusalem is akin to “declaring war in the Middle East.”

A new report in the NYTimes details how everyone in Harvey Weinstein’s orbit, from journalists to media moguls, was blackmailed, bribed, or bought so as not to expose him as a fat, disgusting pervert.

Kellyanne Conway says that she had a #MeToo moment but “nobody cared.”

FCC Chairman and corporate shitheel Ajit Pai is refusing to allow 50,000 comments in favor of net neutrality discovered by the National Hispanic Media Coalition, stating, “the issue has been fully addressed.”

OMG, check out Rick Perry’s field trip to Saudi Arabia as he desperately tries to look like an actual human being (again). Many thots, very sand, too pita. Wow.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! RED PANDAS!

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  • armed_bears
    • Irony is a dead scene anyway

      • armed_bears

        That’s a hard realization if your business model depends upon it.

  • tza

    I’m just hanging out waiting for a ton of the leftwing sites I also hang on to descend into antisemitism and start caring more about Schumer supporting the thing than Trump and Jared doing it because Fuck The Dems is more important than anything else.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Upvote for Sensational Alex Harvey Band.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • grindstone

      Cracking toast, Grommet.

  • Nounverb911
    • Come on little one! You can make it!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • tza

      I’ll admit, I found this to be genius.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    John Conyers resigned over allegations that he’s a pervy old man.

    Lulu had this to sing about John Conyers (and Judge Roy, Ralph Shortey, etc..). (Brother Duane on geetar)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miBEAyGCVWo

  • Nounverb911

    A late addition to our continuing series, tweets Mike Pence would like to forget:

    https://twitter.com/GovPenceIN/status/674249808610066433

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Huh. I wonder who was calling for such stuff in December of Twenty fifteen?

      • Nounverb911

        Anne Coulter?

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      Trump Twitter Contradiction Syndrome is contagious.

      It got Sarah.
      It got Kellyanne.
      It got Mikey Boy.

  • calliecallie

    Sure, let’s have another government shut down. That always works so well for them.

  • Shalimar

    Steve Bannon turned 18 in 1971, graduated college in 1976 and then joined the Navy. Despite his age, he is not a Vietnam-era veteran.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Well, Vietnam was a country at the time…

      -Stupid Conservolibertarian

      • Msgr_MΩment

        A unified country.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    GOOD NEWS! Time’s Person of the Year is “The Silence Breakers,” AKA the women who have came forward to expose rampant sexual harassment.

    Tweetstorm in 5.. 4… 3…

    • Bill D. Burger

      He did, however, get a mention in the piece. TIME’s piece on The Silence Breakers calls Trump a ‘precipitating factor’ in the #metoo movement. “In this case, you had Harvey Weinstein, and before that you had Trump.”

      lmao

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Prepare for Twitler to try to move on them like a bitch.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      At this very moment, John Kelly is probably holding on to Donald’s phone for dear life while being chased round the White House by the president.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Y’know, I think I’ve known women like Kellyanne Conway in past public life – instigators of a kind of sexual myopia in the workplace, who embolden and encourage bad behaviour, then intend to use it down the line. Someone who is working on their journalistic creds should look into her background. I think they’d find an even more disgusting and perhaps blackmailing backstory…

    • Oblios_Cap

      She claims to have been younger and prettier, too. I don’t believe it.

      • Shalimar

        The current bar on that is so, so low that it would be almost impossible to top it.

      • bupkus231

        That was what I meant when I said her claim was “self-aggrandizing” ( as it is, she then said that OTHER women suffered those “attentions” – not so much her ).

  • Nounverb911
  • Msgr_MΩment

    John Kelly’s former deputy, Kirstjen Nielsen, is your new Homeland Security Secretary, and will undoubtedly be held responsible for building Trump’s Tortilla Curtain.

    Sounds like the Vikings have breached Hadrian’s Wall and are occupying Mercia again!

    • PubOption

      If she was a lesbian, I could make a joke about Offa’s Dyke.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Asterix

    ZOMG!!!!!!!! RED PANDAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Kellyanne Conway says that she had a #MeToo moment but “nobody cared.”

    I guess someone has never read “Peter and the Wolf”…

    • Spurning Beer

      Seems like “The Boy [or girl] Who Cried Wolf” to me.

    • Claire

      The libretto or the score?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Fancy liberals and yer opries. I was thinking about the Little Golden Book version.

        • Claire

          Little Golden Books are where the sneaky liberal indoctrination begins.

    • Me not sure

      There, there Kellyanne, I understand.
      Did I do that right?

  • spangled

    Idk if any of y’all listen to 99% invisible but it was a good episode this morning.

    It was about how cars used to have zero safety features because the auto industry didn’t think they were sexy. But after public pressure, LBJ + an almost UNANIMOUS congress, created vast regulations on cars that have dropped the fatality rate by 80% in the 50 years since.

    I almost burst out crying on my commute. There used to be some common sense bipartisanship! Can you imagine ANY republicans passing regulations on a big industry in this day and age?

    • MynameisBlarney

      All that was before Ailes finally achieved his lifelong dream of creating a fake news organization that would intentionally lie and mislead its viewers.
      Before a handful of obscenely wealthy families decided to fund programs and candidates in order to become even more obscenely wealthy at the expense of the lower and middle classes.
      Before republicans and their paymasters started a well funded and well organized campaign to dumb down the electorate.

      I could go on, but you get the idea.

  • kareemachan

    So… THIS is jared’s great plan for ME peace? Amazing.

    And incredibly stupid.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      IK,R? I would have picked some place in the Hamptons for the capital of Israel, but you know that would just ruffle a lot of feathers.

      • janecita

        Lakewood NJ, would have been perfect. Every person in the city is an Orthodox Jew already.

    • Bobathonic

      Well, it *is* peaceful when everyone’s dead.

      • janecita

        Don’t be silly! The Palestinians will be the only ones dead.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • CutterTeam

      That must cost some Money, Penny.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Things that make you go ‘M’.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Q?

        • From Russia with Love

          Don’t be such an Asstonne, Martin.

    • PubOption

      They are too easy to Smersh.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Straw Berry will return in Toastfinger.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        to sing, “We be Jammin'”

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Main song from Live and Let Jam.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            I thought it was from Jelly Roll Morton’s, “Jelly’s Last Jam.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        From Strudel With Love.

        • Daniel

          From Russia With Pavlova

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          Live and Let Pie

          • MynameisBlarney

            Cupcakes Are Forever.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        Jellyfinger.

  • canes_pugnaces

    RE: Kelly-Palsy Conway’s #metoo moment. On the great score card of life: supporting Roy Moore, calling girls liars who were ‘legally raped’ by a DA, and being a general all purpose asshole, means I kinda don’t care either.

    • kareemachan

      OMG, the things she says in the interview:

      ‘Conway also blasted what she characterized as sexist coverage of the women working in the Trump administration.
      “You have to be the bigger person to have these jobs,” she said. “At
      the same time an honest conversation is one that does not discriminate
      against someone that has been on the receiving end of it because of
      their politics.”’

      ‘Conway also defended his record on women in the workplace.
      “I can tell you that this is an administration … that values the female advisers,” she said.’

      Every time I think she can’t outdo her twuntness, she does.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Do Democrats complain about being demonized because of their politics? No. Is it because their politics are defensible on the merits? Yes.

  • James Baskin

    Someone needs to make you a salad not a sandwich cupcake.

  • Nounverb911

    In today’s episode of DAMN IT Bill!
    https://twitter.com/BillKristol/status/938258517533671425

    • kilgoretrout

      Yes

    • Bill D. Burger

      Damn, all this ‘agreeing’ I’m doing lately with Kristol, Frumm, N. Wallace, S. Schwartz…etc. is fraying my delicate, precious nerves.

      “The world is changed. This is not the world I knew.”

      • kilgoretrout

        When they renounce the GOP I’ll say things have really changed. Right now they’re just waiting out Trump and will go back to their old ways when he’s gone. The GOP is the problem – they nominated this guy for the presidency and have backed him in office despite him being a danger to the world.

        • Bill D. Burger

          “Trump isn’t the disease, he’s the result of the disease.” ___ Keith Olbermann

          • Hiss

            The “tertiary” in the “tertiary syphilis.”

        • Edith Prickly

          Agreed. Bill Kristol was one of the people who thought unleashing Sarah Palin on the world was a good idea.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Shouldn’t that be, “VOTE FOR PEDO”

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I wonder if some sucker responsible pet owner would like to trade their red panda cubs for my Siberian tiger cubs.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And Fluffy gladly scrambled up to the guillotine and placed his head below the blade because they were careful not to use the word V-E-T.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          When the guillotine came to Fluffy, it wasn’t his head they were after…

          • From Russia with Love

            “Hey everybody, we’re going to the vet and I’m going to get tutored!”

        • Gayer Than Thou

          In his last moments, he was shocked to learn that, because of his blind devotion to the capitalist aristocrats, he was not considered to be a “good boy” after all.

  • La forza del resistino

    Bannon is looking like the guy who lives under the overpass and yells about his stuff if you touch his shopping cart.

  • Oblios_Cap

    OMG, check out Rick Perry’s field trip to Saudi Arabia

    He’s got werewolf feet!

  • ariel_gee_398

    It’s not really a “Me Too” moment if the only abuse or harassment you care about is your own. That’s just being a Republican.

    • It’s been covered, now she can’t say “nobody cared,” and one can only speculate as to why.

      • From Russia with Love

        I would be glad to do so, but Dok might be reading this.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I don’t know enough to know if Jerusalem should be the capital of Israel or not, but I know this much: I don’t think Twitler does either, and I am sure that whatever choice he’s making it is the choice best designed to make a shitshow out of a complicated situation.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’s looking for any distraction to divert attention from his Russian Shenanigans.

    • MynameisBlarney

      He is simply saying what people tell him will piss of liberals.

      • From Russia with Love

        And career diplomats going back 50 years.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      As was once said of one of my uncles, ‘He could start a fight in an empty room.’

      • armed_bears

        and enjoy it.

        • Hiss

          And lose.

    • kareemachan

      I would think that this should be left to, oh, I dunno, the Israelis? AFAIK, the shitgibbon isn’t prez of Israel.

      So this is what jared & the incompetents came up with. Wow.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        It’s too important to be left to Netanyahu, that’s for sure. Many Israelis, aware of the Jerusalem as the juncture of three (or more) religions that haven’t gotten along for 1400 years or more, want to keep the status quo and Tell Aviv. But the conspiracy of Bibi, the Israeli hard core, Trump, and the US fundagelicals seems intent on pushing us closer to their misguided mess that they think will be biblical Armageddon.

        Besides, the Shitgibbon is president of the world. Ask him.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It definitely should not. It’s fairly equivalent to rounding up the Palestinians and pushing them into the sea. It’s one thing to be supportive of Israel. It’s another thing to piss off every one of their neighbors to the point where they will consider jihad a necessary rebuttal….

      • From Russia with Love

        Just because part of it was taken from Jordan in 1967, why are those Palestinians so damn touchy?

    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      To (over)simplify it, it’s an argument over who God wants to have the land.

      • armed_bears

        Well She should nut up and make her wishes known, IMO.

    • From Russia with Love

      Trump’s rationale was “The Arabs have Arabia, the Jews should have Jewsalem.”

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Past presidents have had the opportunity to do so and chose not to for reasons of national and international security. So yes, your assessment is correct.

    • Johnatx

      The fundies love it. Gotta keep them happy.

    • schmannity

      NO WORRIES! Jared has got this. Trump can count on his sage advice coughcomeyfiringcough

    • nightmoth

      That sums it up nicely. Also, did you see that Cheeto is NOT moving the embassy: he’s renewing that 6 month contract in Tel Aviv like every single president before him. He’s stirring the already steaming pot for the evangelicals who hope it boils over to get their big war, rapture, apocalypse, etc.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Once again, he has punched the bully in the back of the head and run away.

    • Dutchman
  • Nounverb911

    Careful there donnie, Mikey likes to snitch….
    https://twitter.com/DerfBackderf/status/938194102591676416

    • Oblios_Cap

      Jesus told him to do it!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m surprised that they didn’t try to frag him. (See Roy Moore tidbit downthread)

    • Blanche de Shambles
    • Christopher Story

      He was ready to throw Trump under the bus a year ago.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Sorry for all the Dickens references, but I can never see his face without thinking of Uriah Heep.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I get why whoever is trying to hurt Pence leaked the whole tried to replace Trump and put a better-educated black lady in the White House thing, because way to piss Trump off, but why would Trump care about this? He likes to pretend he’s straight edge.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    I like that Jones is going balls out on this. We’ve tried playing nice for too long. Go for the jugular.

    • CripesAmighty

      This is how we need to play. Every time. Everywhere. Scorched-earth.

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        I’d like to think eventually, we’ll evolve into people who can play nice because the other party also plays nice ahahahaha even I am laughing at my naivete.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          how did you even finish that sentence?

          • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

            Obsessional need to finish things!

        • CripesAmighty

          Yeah, I used to think things like ‘rules’ and ‘common decency’ were concepts we could all agree on. I’m such a patsy.

        • schmannity

          What do you think this is, Canada?

    • Edith Prickly

      A guy who successfully prosecuted the KKK – in Alabama – should have balls to spare. I like it too.

  • WilbyToad

    Time ‘Person of the Year’: ‘The Silence Breakers’ who started the #MeToo movement

    Time announced its “Person of the Year” on NBC’s “Today” show, where editor-in-chief Edward Felsenthal talked about the magazine’s decision to pick sexual harassment accusers over President Donald Trump.

    “This is the fastest moving social change we’ve seen in decades,” explained Felsenthal. “Individual acts of courage by hundreds of women, and some men too, who came forward to tell their own stories of sexual harassment.”

    by BRAD REED / RAWSTORY
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/12/time-person-of-the-year-the-silence-breakers-who-started-the-metoo-movement/

    And I thought it would be Mueller. Time has made the right choice, not only in recognizing the movement but sustaining it as well.

    • bupkus231

      Wait’ll next year!

      • cmd resistor

        Yeah, that’s my hope, that Mueller will do a bunch more stuff in 2018 that will make him win for sure.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I thought it would be Trump but then I read the rules and it said “person or persons” with no mention of shitheel. Disqualified Donald

    • CripesAmighty

      Let’s see if the lawyers can keep him from tweeting now that Time has just shoved a rolled-up Person of the Year issue right up his fat ass.

  • kareemachan

    And the Rick Perry stuff. He said with a straight face that he wanted to do oil stuff in an environmentally friendly way. With a straight face.

    • Asterix

      Bless his heart.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Blessed are the merchandisers, for they shall inherit the earth.

  • bupkus231

    1) Per the double standard for John Conyers – the piece talks about several white lawmakers who have been accused of sexual harassment who have not been pressed to resign. The piece includes Ducky Farenthold, but does not mention Joe Barton ( who has said he will retire – but still appears to be escaping just about any criticism in the uproar about Conyers ). And, of course, there’s Roy “Baby Fucker” Moore – and his asshole Republican supporters.

    Throw ’em ALL out, even Franken ( as a partisan Democrat, I know that’ll hit more GOPpers – too fuckin’ bad, I’m tired of purity ponies saying we have to be better than the GOP, while letting the GOP off the hook ).

    2) Poor KAC – she wonders why nobody “believes” her #MeToo “moment” – Can’t we all just te;ll her it’s because she’s a known, proven liar about every- and anything, that her “moment” was nothing but non-specific ( and apparently, more than a little self-aggrandizing ) bullshit. The idea that women accusers deserve to be believed does not apploy to paid shills.

  • Nounverb911
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Another fake Time cover for Mar-A-Lago.

  • CutterTeam

    My guess is that Roy Moore’s last campaign event will consist of him throwing candy from a windowless van.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Extra points if it plays an instrumental version of “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” on repeat.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I remember Kellyanne’s #metoo moment. She threatened to out still-serving Republican congressmen and staffers who she claimed behaved inappropriately while she still worked on the Hill so they’re shut up about Trump’s pussy grabbing. Nobody cared because once they shut up about pussy grabbing, she decided not to out them so they could keep preying on women.

    • link?

      • Carpe Vagenda
        • bupkus231

          Doesn’t really talk about any “threats” she may have made, nor does she talk explicitly about Republican “Congressmen and staffers”…

          All I could fund was an excerpt from that interview – but all that included was KAC vowing to stick with Rump to the bitter end. I found other characterizations of her interview – saying that she pivoted from her own “#MeToo” moment, “whatabouting” and deflecting to Bill Clinton….

          I said in another post that the reason nobody gave her comments any credibility is that she is ( and was ) a proven liar who would say anything. She can’t have it both ways….

          • Carpe Vagenda

            As I recall it, she was being interviewed about people backing away from Trump, and she was pretty clear that she could say things if she chose to. I took it as a threat at the time, and I certainly wouldn’t have cared if she came through.

    • kilgoretrout

      Yeah – I vaguely recall this moment.

  • From Russia with Love

    “They used to call Roy Moore “Fruit Salad” in college”

    Not “Tossed Salad”?

  • La forza del resistino

    The Russian team shows up the Olympics and says they’re really from Crimea and the Ukraine.

  • cmd resistor

    Another busy day:
    Trump schedule for Wednesday, December 6th:
    · Cabinet Meeting
    · Give statement on Jerusalem

    • OrG

      See? Hardest working preznit ever!

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        With Trump its, “Hardly-est” working.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      No time for even a quick round of golf in such a packed schedule.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I’m quite sure that Donnie spends a great deal of his time putting around in the Oval Oriface.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Question…

    Were anyone but turmp in the WH, would we be on a war footing against the fuckin russkies right now?

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/dec/06/us-embassy-attack-cuba-brain-abnormalities-victims

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “Brain abnormalities” are definitely not confined to people working in Cuber [sic]. I would strongly suggest looking at just about anyplace in the good ‘ol U.S.of.A. Especially in the places where Homo Trumpithecus Ignoramii can be found.

  • CripesAmighty

    This Jerusalem shit is truly remarkable. US foreign policy is being conducted from by Reverend Magic Copperhead from the pulpit of the Cornhole Holler Alabammy Baptist Church.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Of course Trump is going to push recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capitol. It could lead to the war that Trump thinks will take the RussianGate pressure off of him.

    • Hiss

      By the same reasoning used in the Jerusalem decision (not that Trump gets to decide where a foreign nation has its capital) he should give all of the United States back to the Indians. After all, they were here first and only evicted by conquest. And the land is sacred to them. But oddly, I don’t see this happening.

      Window Rock for capital of U.S.! Or maybe Chaco, come to think of it.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    After reading this wonkagenda article, I am beginning to feel that it is becoming nearly impossible to avoid violating the “non-commenting rules for radishes”.

    Nonetheless, I will do my best to soldier-on today. A few {{{redacted}}}s will likely be required.

    • little miss high and mighty

      you can do this

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Thank you for the encouragement!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Asterix

      None of this will end well. Trump and his asshole team need to back the fuck down now.

      • Nounverb911
      • Maria Sewell

        His SA bosses will have something to say about it.

        • Asterix

          Jordan has called the meeting. Jordan. Sweet Jesu, is there anyone on the planet Trump hasn’t pissed off?

          • OrG

            Pooty poot.

          • Maria Sewell

            But that’s coming, when he can’t lift the sanctions.

          • little miss high and mighty

            No DJT stoolpigeoned his guy, Vlad by getting caught. broke the big rule.

          • Maria Sewell

            Papua New Guinea?

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Only the tribes living in the interior who avoid all contact with outsiders. In the towns they hate him.

  • Bananas Foster

    I suspect red pandas are just raccoons with better PR.

    • chortlingdingo

      They are related to raccoons! Red pandas are super cute and cuddly looking, but I do love raccoons’ little hands.

      • Bananas Foster

        I love raccoons too. Their hands are freakishly human!

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I do care about the sexual harassment of Kellyanne Conway. But that’s precisely where we differ: She only cares when it happens to her. When Trump does it to other women, she doesn’t give a shit.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Say Scarface Steve wasn’t Preznit Bone Spurs a draft dodger?

    Yeah I know logic or past history doesn’t matter unless it is about your opponent.

    • Christopher Story

      See: double think

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Which is interesting when you consider that R-money is probably one of the most electable Republicans they have.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It’s because he’ll call out Pussygrabber by name, as an electable Republican…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    If a minion of Satan gets groped by Satan himself, I suppose as a good liberal person I should be sympathetic. But it’s hard feeling sympathy for a lying sociopath like Kaca, particularly when she’s belching out spewage about how all of the accusers of her boss, Pussygrabber-in-Chief, are lying.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s called “reaping what you sow”– all the accusers of any Republican are lying, oh but this happened to #metoo. Somebody read tell her about the boy who cried wolf.

  • Johnatx

    Dominic – somewhat OT, but newsy. Lupe Valdez, currently Dallas County sheriff, is going to file as candidate in the Democratic primary for Texas governor. She is an interesting person. Won reelection three times. Former U.S. military, daughter of migrant farm workers, Latina, openly gay, and reformed a broken county jail system.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Good news. I am going to send her some green stamps!

      • Daniel

        Do they ripen later?

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      I hear splody heads already.

  • Nounverb911

    Ivanka has some deep deep psychological problems…

    https://twitter.com/IvankaTrump/status/938192427709620226

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Peek, bitch. Ugh.

    • Bananas Foster

      I totally see this moment happening, like daily, in a normal family.

      I also totally understand that most women would never send the photo out.

    • cmd resistor

      Who has a white couch, and small children?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        It might start out white.

      • Nounverb911

        She took the plastic tarp off for the photo shoot.

      • Hesavebread!

        Someone with those items in different houses.

      • chortlingdingo

        Someone whose children aren’t allowed on the furniture.

      • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

        Oh, please. She has a new couch delivered every morning at six, and throws away the old one from the day before in the trash. Only the poors keep furniture for a year or more. Beastly.

        She also fires any of the help who allow the children to sit on the furniture unaccompanied by a nanny.

      • Christopher Story

        People who hate and resent their children?

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        That may be the living room that no one is allowed into.
        True Story – I had an off white sofa and then had children. It got recovered with denim.

        • cmd resistor

          I wouldn’t be able to have one even without children. I can’t even wear a white t-shirt.
          I never understood those living rooms no one was allowed into.

    • Daniel

      She’s just happy it’s not her dad this time.

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      Photoshop gods,
      Hear my plea,
      Place a picture of
      Donnie’s head for me!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Are the two kids looking at a photo they just snapped?

      /asking for their grampa

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      “I used to play this with Daddy, kids! It’s not weird at all!”

    • UnsaltedSinner

      “These are my children, Ignorance and Want.”

      • Asterix

        Oh UPVOTE times a thousand and one!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        No chance of Faith, Hope and Charity when the Trumps are involved.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Can you post that link again please?
      It disappeared on me.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Siouxsie and the Banshees – a great band and exact opposite of Ivanka.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9J7ymRmrl0

    • Bill D. Burger

      I can’t think of one comment that wouldn’t get me the banhammer.

      So…..I’ll just say C R E E P Y.

    • Chyron HR

      She has no hips so how does she pop them out like that?

      • Daniel

        She hires a lady to carry them for her. It makes the whole process so much easier.

    • Blackest Noobs

      “Hey Daddy! do you think your granddaughter can meet with Roy Moore?”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      This one time in the White House,……

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Early training for future republicants. Sad.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Not so great at spelling either.

      • Meccalopolis

        she’s peaking. high as fuck, yo

    • Meccalopolis

      Ivanka: #me too

  • Bill D. Burger

    Uh oh! Looks like Donny Dotard might lose a soul mate over this:

    https://twitter.com/i24NEWS_EN/status/938414489782882304

    • Meccalopolis

      he’s trying to provoke an attack. hope the deep state is paying attention

  • Bill D. Burger
    • msanthropesmr

      That yarmulke is photoshopped.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        f only the object below the yarmulke was photoshopped (in every picture it appears in).

    • Cucker “Dick” Tarlson

      Hands are too big.

    • Daniel

      Look at how angry he is that they got their wall.

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      “That was EASY!” – DJT

    • little miss high and mighty

      wall envy

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Does that wall have a pussy? Just askin’….

    • Meccalopolis

      what is he good for?

      • As the saying goes: Absolutely nothing.

        • everstar

          Say it again!

  • Nounverb911

    How quickly will they blame Hillary after the first attack on American personnel happens at the American Consulate in Jerusalem?

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      The text is being written now.

      • Kneeling Bozilingus

        Is it written on The Wall?

        • SeeTrainOffTheRails

          Yes. In urine.

    • Blackest Noobs

      what do you mean? i thought after she was totally blamed for Benghazi that all future and past attacks on U.S. embassies are only the fault of Ms. Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton as decreed by weak thin-skinned conservative men.

  • SeeTrainOffTheRails

    And searches for Ephesians 5:22 just broke the internet.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      As a public service to prevent massive innertubes borkage caused by searching for this passage, here is the verse (found at here):

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a40b2b8fd18d82108bb6038874bb2dd7a1c2a397bd26545b38e3ad847572eef4.png

      • LucindathePook

        No probs. Not submitting to the Lord, either.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Damn straight, I’m not a bottom.

    • Asterix

      I don’t want to look that one up – is it the wives submit one? Walk in love? I can’t remember.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        The former, I’m afraid.

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        His t-shirt said, “Now go make me a sandwich” below it.

        It’s wasn’t hard to figure out.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          ‘Walk in love, while you go make me a sammich’

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          My most favorite fucking sammiches EVAR are made by myself. They are the best! Why would I want somebody else to make sammiches for me? I just don’t grok these idjits. NO SURR EE!.

          • SeeTrainOffTheRails

            “All the toppings are free at Subway. ‘FREE LETTUCE? NO WAY! How do you guys pay the rent? What’s next, free napkins?’ … I think the toppings are free to distract us from the fact we shouldn’t be paying for the meat. They are so stingy with that nasty-ass meat at Subway. They peel it off like it’s a wad of ones or something. …. ‘Here’s three slices of ham. Go get yourself something nice.'”
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTlHHm3RIW0

          • Old Nick

            I love their tuna on whole wheat with provolone and many veggies. Eat with Fritos and a coke. Sorry if this offends anyone.

          • CripesAmighty

            Nu-uh. The best sammiches are made by a loud, fat guy named Irving behind the counter who, when you simply can’t finish it, yells, “WHASSAMATTER KID–YA NOT HUNGRY?!”
            (Katz’s Deli-heaven on earth.)

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Hey, Imma loud fat guy, too!

        • Spurning Beer

          In the RSV, it reads, “Now, therefore, go to the hearth and prepare for me some food, for I hunger.”

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Is there a more modern translation that says ‘Phone Dominoes and order pizza’?

        • Edith Prickly
        • John Thorstensen

          Where’s the “sudo”?

          https://xkcd.com/149/

          (It’s a Linux in-joke.)

          • SeeTrainOffTheRails
          • Alienist

            Nothing will go over my head. With my reflexes, I will catch it. — Dax the Destroyer

          • SeeTrainOffTheRails

            I am a particularly obtuse form of pond slug.

            My idea of higher brain function is raising my eyelids.

          • John Thorstensen

            Like all good jokes, this has to be explained, at length, and being a male person, I will now proceed to explain it.

            In linux, many system commands can only be executed by a “superuser” (i.e. administrator), usually known as “root”. It’s possible to set up a non-super-user account to allow execution these commands provided the command is prefixed by “sudo” (for “super user do”). This forces the command to execute. Hence, the joke.

            Also: “The story of how two brothers, and five other men, parlay a small business loan into a thriving paper-goods concern, is a long and interesting one. And here it is:”

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6HcB6uOKiM

        • Umm not if you’re a hardened heathen like me. Had no idea what it was.

          • SeeTrainOffTheRails

            Maybe you thought he was arrested at Subway? ; )

      • cleos_mom

        No; it basically told converts to deep-six the “deceitful lusts”.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      The one IT guy at Bible Gateway is having a very bad morning.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Too bad. It’s god’s swill.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          God’s swill. Thanks, I’ll be using that one.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Why are people looking for that passage?

      • SeeTrainOffTheRails

        Because all the good Christians tend to forget these things.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      And here we went and let them vote! No wonder God is down on us!…

    • cleos_mom

      Aside from the suggestion that many self-identified Christians don’t own a Bible, that’s smack dab in the middle of the most soporific part of the New Testament. It all went downhill from Acts on.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • La forza del resistino
    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      Roy Story 4: The Pedo Years

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Ew.

    • schmannity

      He’s more of a Buzz Lightyear. To puberty and beyond!

  • Tetman Callis

    The kooba thing — it was the angel of the lawd, passing in the night — beware, sinners, for the day of yer judjmint is at hand.

    Or, it was the US government, through some deeply buried back office of the deeep state, testing a new form of weapon on its own people (and the canucks, who ain’t never done us no greater harm than declining all offers to be us), which as we all know is the best way to get useful results.

    Or, it was the russians, or the chinese, or the israelis, fucking with us because they know they can.

  • SeeTrainOffTheRails

    Senator Fruit Salad.

    DO. NOT. WANT.

  • cmd resistor

    So I just saw a headline about another Franken accuser and I can’t bring myself to read it.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It kind of paints a picture of him as a Georgie-Porgy kind of guy. However, kissing or attempting to kiss grown women who may/may not think this is a good idea, audacious and wrongheaded as it is, does not compare in my book to the kind of things Roy Moore and donald trump are accused of. In trump’s case, it’s compounded by threats of reprisal, both physical and fiscal….

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        We cannot do this case-by-case. There MUST be a Congressional investigation into all allegations (and not just individual by individual). At the end of it, ALL officials (elected, appointed, or hired) with credible allegations should resign en masse. Otherwise it just turns into a Democratic purge because Dems still have some modicum of integrity, or at least shame, while all the Rs just skate.

  • schmannity
  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      And if y’all have any information on this Russian thing that might speed it along, feel free to mail it to Santa Claus Robert Mueller, c/o North Pole.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump’s bringing Peace on Earth just in time for Christmas!

    https://twitter.com/stevenacurtis/status/938405444178948097

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Told ya!….

    • Hiss

      Oh, it will be peaceful, all right. And very, very quiet.

      • everstar

        Dead quiet.

    • TakingAmes

      So much for that Christmas time visit to Bethlehem. When do the travel warnings start?

      • The state department already issued a warning to staff worldwide.

  • Left Coast Tom

    From the LA Times article on the Thomas fire:

    What’s different, though, is that authorities began the morning of the
    Tubbs
    firefighting more than a dozen blazes in the area, whereas the
    Thomas fire is currently the greatest threat in Southern California.

    The Tubbs fire started around 10:30 PM, near Calistoga. By morning Santa Rosa’s Coffey Park neighborhood was already ashes.

    Otherwise, yes…the sense of deja-vu is pretty terrible.

  • schmannity

    Bannon’s wardrobe is a metaphor for what he and Trump want the government to look like

    • Daniel

      And his animated carcass is very much an illustration of what he wants to happen to the body politic.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Zombie Politic

        Grab hold of your brainz. Tightly!

  • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

    Why can’t I have a red panda? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?

  • Nounverb911

    https://twitter.com/smod4real/status/938174899608154112

    (Edit: Didn’t realize the fires were so bad when I posted this)

    • little miss high and mighty

      Watts towers Watts Towers!
      Simon (sam) Rodia -35 year work of art.
      in Compton between the old RR yard and Crenshaw.
      Please go see this world wonder before climate change burns it all up.
      Best thing in L A except one of our sweeties lives there sometimes.

      • William Bourdeau

        Bonus: the Watts Towers can be seen from the Blue Line train and there’s a stop within sight of them and walking distance.

        • little miss high and mighty

          L.A. cannot be total hell.
          There’s Grifith Park and Canter’s Deli, too
          Tough town, but there’s beauty and authentic Knisches, too.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

    Red Pandas go, “RARR-RARR-RARR!! I KEEL U!”

    Red Panda’s by night / Wonkette’s delight
    Red Panda’s by morning / Wonkette’s reporting

    Also too, I know I’m sometimes late to the party cuz I gotta walk or take the bus, but it just dawned on me that when you sound out:

    DJTJ

    It sounds like “Didjit”, as in “that idjit, DJTJ.”

    I’m on board and approve of this message.

  • btwbfdimho

    Not only pandas having fun.

    THIS IS THE PUREST THING IVE EVER SEEN pic.twitter.com/wK95l7hDtI— So Damn Relatable! (@ReIatable) December 6, 2017

    • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

      Why can’t I have a baby goat? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Because you’re human and can only have baby humans. Biology 101.

        • John Thorstensen

          They can be pretty cute too. My own offspring (who’s all growed up) would have given Donna Rose a run for her money in all departments of wonderfulness, had Donna Rose been around decades ago.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        To go with your red panda?

    • Nockular cavity

      Hop On Pup

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Dog is thinking, ‘Sheesh. Kids these days.’

    • Does that dog wear stain protector? How the hell does he stay so white?

  • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

    That Oklahoma guy was busted in…..

    Moore, Oklahoma.

    Coincidence? I think not.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wonder if it’ll be a tight race? ___ Perhaps Puttie’ Pawn could sashay over and campaign for him___and stay.

    https://twitter.com/XHNews/status/938422658538049536

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      BREAKING NEWS: Putin elected by 100 percent margin. Next year.

      • Bill D. Burger

        “Only YOU can fix Russia, Vlad. Only YOU.” ___ Trump
        ~snicker~

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Only 100%?

        • SeeTrainOffTheRails

          Waiting for the votes from Siberia to come in.

          • Tania

            This isn’t Eurovision.

      • From Russia with Love

        Well, his much hoped for seat on the International Olympic Committee is probably toast.

        • SeeTrainOffTheRails

          Who’da thought a seat on the IOC was something a world leader COULDN’T BUY?

  • Doug Langley

    My sister lives in the L.A. area and just sent me details of the fires. She’s safe, but the smell of smoke is everywhere.

  • Mavenmaven

    Along with tax cuts, Roy Moore is advocating that we cut back to nine commandments.

    • From Russia with Love

      “Honor thy mother, thy father and that little voice in you head that says “She looks at least 16.”

  • Blackest Noobs

    Has Benji said anything? is it night time in Israel? is Benji catching some Zzzzzz?

    cuz you would think if Benji supported this stupid fucking shit, he too would be tweetin’ or letting the media know, he approves of Trump’s dumb move.

    and it makes me think of all the people who decided to make their bed with Trump…you already know Ms. May is fucking regretting it. Will Benji?

    Probably not because, well, he’s Benji, and an asshole, but his support will be luke-warm.
    i also predict if this escalates….i’m betting Iran gonna serious fuck the fuck up Israel.

  • Yellow_Dog_Dem

    How in the actual fuck do you tell a sovereign nation where their capital will be? FFS

    • Daniel

      By being an ignorant boor with no belief or interest in other people’s autonomy.

      • From Russia with Love

        By having asshole friends like Bibi Netanyahu.

    • little miss high and mighty

      little problems with international law over there dontchaknow.
      UN res 242 and 338 pre- 67 boundaries. Pariah state illegally occupying etc
      Nonrecognition by the entire planet earth except for Israel and Ucle Sm.
      But, don’t take our word for it- look it up it is actually in the history books- even within the US /Israel bubble.

    • John Thorstensen

      Israel has insisted that its capital is Jerusalem, but the rest of the world won’t play along. Until now.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Traffic flow being rerouted and halted in numerous areas around the city.

    https://twitter.com/nendaas1/status/938422569102749701

    https://twitter.com/HollywoodDebi/status/938422464966680576

    • Nounverb911
    • Impatient

      Hmmm. Thought (still think) that the SNL skits about taking the 405, cutting over to the 10, whatever … were fucking hilarious. This morning? Not so much. That’s a whole lot of people and things in the way of those fires.

      • From Russia with Love

        “You drive to the Slauson Cutoff, get out of your car, cut off your Slauson…”

        — Johnny Carson

  • Shan

    Wow, first time I ever agreed with KAC. Yes, I truly don’t care about YOUR #metoo moment because of your politics. Your politics SUPPORT RAPISTS AND MOLESTERS. And you also get paid for it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      And also you can’t #MeToo and #BelieveTheWomen when you’re also “DemocratsAreAllLiarsByNature and #NotAllRepublicans

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Yeah, I’ll confess that’s why I didn’t give a crap about Megyn Kelly, Gretchen Carlson, or Leeann Tweeden. If you spend your life promoting sexism and misogyny, don’t come crying to me when it bites you in the ass.

      I had a Republican friend who was always trying to get me involved in her anti-pollution crusade (because it affected her personally), I finally told her “you constantly vote to destroy the environment, so I dont care if they put up oil wells right in front of your house.”

      I genuinely think most of the GOP base has no clue what they are voting for.

      • From Russia with Love

        The Republican party is an aggregation of so many independently stupid ideas, I can’t imagine that anybody actually supports all of them.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          You’d be surprised.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Have you ever been to South Carolina?

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        I actually give Gretchen some credit cause she started the avalanche at least in the media world, which could not have been easy cause, well, Fox.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I give the woman who sued Rapey O’Reilly credit for that.

      • Persistent Demme

        The examples abound.
        I have a GOP acquaintance that had breast cancer.
        Good thing that all the sciency-science and doctors saved her life.
        It’s not like the superstitious, home skooled, and herp-a-derp, dorks that surround her could have done anything.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Yeah, I can’t wait to see the look on the face of another elderly Republican I know when she gets her SS cut. I can’t wait to say “pull yourself up by your bootstraps!”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      If KAC starts going William Kristol on us, you know we have crossed the event horizon and are headed for the Singularity.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Thank you to the Mika and Joe sidekick (whose name I should know) for using the phrase, “credibly accused” and not “alleged” when discussing Roy Moore.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Jon Heilemann? I’ve heard him use something very close.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Willie Geist.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Memory aid: Moaning McJokeFace.

    • From Russia with Love

      “Credibly accused” is correct. We use the term “alleged” when we are discussing dead interns.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • HOLY SHIT!

      • From Russia with Love

        Yeah, I guess the fire jumped Highway 101.

    • Claire

      Shit, that’s scary.

  • Impatient

    Shit. My grandparents lived in hills over LA, and much of my extended family is still in the area. Grandmothers were always very matter-of-fact about the regular/annual brushfires in the surrounding hills. But I don’t think they ever saw anything like this.

    Hope people stay safe.

    • Doug Langley

      Ooo, I’ve seen how those fires climb hills like crazy. Good luck to them.

      • little miss high and mighty

        santa annas from the left, sundowners from the right, drought conditions, bad karma, lightning strike or careless campers or crack torch dropped.
        Stuff gonna ‘splode

    • From Russia with Love

      Indeed.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      FB Crisis Center alerts came out yesterday and I have one friend in the area that reported as safe.

  • Doug Langley

    I want to point out to everyone that due to my new job, which is second shift, I won’t be able to join the Open Threads in the evening. So if I have news, it’ll have to be in the Wonkgenda.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      We’ll soldier on. And congratulations again!

      • Courser_Resistance

        Morning Ron. How are you feeling this morning?

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          Still in pain, still grumpy. You?

          • Courser_Resistance

            Hanging in there. I’ve buried myself in a deep purge of my stored stuff. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not, but it’s something.

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            Been doing that myself, in the process of recreating my old sewing room in rather less space. Amazing what you find you can do without.

          • Courser_Resistance

            It really is! A friend is coming by tomorrow morning with her Expedition to pick up the stuff and I’m not sure it will all fit. It’s all going to a disaster/emergency training institute that we’re involved with. But I suspect I’m going to be getting a bunch of questions from her husband. I’ve mentioned suicide to him.

            This ‘Purge’ came on me on my 59th birthday and I’m not entirely sure what it means myself. But in the meantime, I’m enjoying a much more uncluttered existence and all this has deeply pleased me. It’s a good thing.

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            Yup. I’m glad you found a way to make things work a bit better for you. And that someone gets some benefit as well.

    • Courser_Resistance

      We’ll muddle through, Doug.

      Congratulation!

      • Doug Langley

        Thanks. And say hi to Space Tacos for me.

    • Lord Jim

      Congrats! Here’s hoping that it goes well.

  • Katamount

    I needed the red pandas… sheesh.

    Seriously, media, what does it take to make your story “Republicans support child molester”? It’s not just Trump or Trumpists or whatever you’re trying to call the President’s useful idiots, they’re called REPUBLICANS. They’re the cause of this and they need to be held accountable for being terrible people!

  • Dutchman

    So Time names #METOO women as Person? People? or the year. Yertle McTurtle’s wife and daughter of dope importer says that women should just Let It Go.

    http://www.businessinsider.com/elaine-chao-sexual-harassment-let-it-go-metoo-2017-12

    Breathes deeply and repeats “with votes, with votes”.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I’m sharpening my weaponized high-frequency high-voltage votes of mass destruction at this very moment.

      • Dutchman

        Is there a particular retail outlet where one might find these high voltage votes?

        Asking for a…..oh hell I can’t even say that with a straight face. I WANT some.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Not yet. It’s strictly a DIY activity these days.

    • SeeTrainOffTheRails

      I guess when your harasser is the President, you “let it go.”

    • Edith Prickly

      Dear Mrs. Yertle: no.

      https://i.imgur.com/clqbulb.gif

    • phoenix00

      Lemme guess: she wants Moore in, and Conyer + Franken out.

  • Nounverb911

    Putinn announced he just won next years election.
    https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/938419569294807040

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m expecting the same from Trump for 2020.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      He won’t have to attend the Winter Olympics, so he’ll have more time to campaign.

      • phoenix00

        … unless he submits to drug testing. Which might be entertainment in itself.

    • Blackest Noobs

      why do they even bother having elections? it’s not like we’re gonna do anything about it either way.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Why are we having elections? The Russians have infiltrated our voting systems, so Trump will win in 2020 and we’ll get nothing out of 2018. No one’s doing anything about our busted election system either. Well, except the folks looking to disenfranchise any voter who isn’t white and male.

        • Blackest Noobs

          i’d slow my roll on that one, Bub. they haven’t taken totally over.
          you honestly think Russkies wanted those Dem wins in NJ and VA?
          did Russia meddle? yes.

          but as in the actual voting machines and what-not? no…they went the occam razor solution…fuck with our heads about information. which was pretty easy…because we tend to buy into anything but the actual truth. she didn’t lose because the Russians changed the votes, she lost because every dumbfuck in this country was on the fucking fence and too fucking stupid to discover the truths themselves.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            In Georgia, they have fucked with the machines. And the guy in charge, Brian Kemp, Secretary of State, is running for governor in 2018. Just thought you should know.

          • Blackest Noobs

            you also forgot they’re also incompetent.
            it only leads to failure, sure some bumps here and there, but that’s democracy, folks…it ain’t perfect…far from it.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            With Atlanta being the capital of Georgia, we have a large community of activists willing to monitor and fight the banannagins. Also, the money GOP help keep the RWNJs under control. But the voter machine debacles are systemic problems and not as easily solved.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Was there ever any doubt that he wins?

  • Blackest Noobs

    i dunno how it could be done but if the #metoo movement could get everyone men included to not vote for ANY man candidate in ANY election next year…even if it’s a mere 60% of all women and even 20% of men ( cuz you know most guys won’t buy into it regardless) it’s impact would be like the meteor that killed the dinosaurs.

    • Culinary Mercenary

      I would welcome our Woman Overlords with happy thoughts, as I have come to the realization that we need to take a time out. We really need to step away from the edge.

    • Good god, no. We saw what happened when people threw up their hands and said “They’re both the same” last year!

      • cleos_mom

        Their hands are still in the air, but they haven’t noticed yet.

    • phoenix00

      Stat: 54% of white women voted for the pussy-grabber.

      Let that sink in.

  • jesterpunk
  • Relativicus

    That’s a lot of stuff. Maybe one more? An hour and a half ago, WSJ reported the US Office of Financial Data will see its budget “slashed” and massive layoffs. I know almost nothing about the agency (I know it’s name!), WSJ is paywall (fuck them), and nobody else has picked up the story yet. Plus nobody else can report it with dick jokes and pie recipes, so if you guys find yourselves bored today…

    Also:

    “Trump’s businesses stand to gain bigly under the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich), surprising nobody.”

    Actually, several Trump supporters have called in to express their surprise that the world would lie about something like that.

  • Shrieking Harpy

    What, no early morning crazy tweets yet? Or did I miss something?

  • eyelashviper
    • phoenix00

      I’d like Josiah Bartlett’s take.

  • Mormos

    why is trumps recognition of jerusalem a surprise? why wouldnt a nazi support genocide?

    • phoenix00

      He doesn’t recognize Jerusalem. He recognizes “Mooslems = bad” and “I only trust the Jews to count my $$”

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I am not feeling optimistic about the world this week.
    Here’s something making the interweb rounds that could be a fun OT distraction for any of my fellow late comers to this morning’s wonkagenda. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/434e3689bef15d1af95c84c296592b73526fa10feb18f1e9532bcb21fb2c005d.jpg
    Here’s mine: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/771a5803ed72ce8bb82f108f54b2149de7f1a28418334a24e3e4894c24f3d12e.gif

  • Marceline

    “Kellyanne Conway says that she had a #MeToo moment but “nobody cared.””

    And I still don’t.

    • Donna Mueller

      yup-attention starved slut with NO moral compass-no ethics and NO bottom to her lying,arrogant,skeeviness complains about attention????????? MEH!

  • Non-Threatening Ron

    Winter weather is back Up Here. Even in this usually dry area there was a bit of snow last night (it all blew away) and right now it’s cold and windy. Other parts of Ontario got slammed, though, including the place I used to live up in cottage country. Looks like the system will get to us Friday.
    It’s not fire, but it’s still bad.

  • AndreWaters20

    I started reading this because I thought it was about Teenage Jesus and the Jerks.

  • Donna Mueller

    snark from George Will-“so a real estate heir with NO foreign policy experience moves to D.C., buys a house and then flies off to solve the problems in the middle east???!!!” when he said that, i fell off the couch laughing. who knew George has a sense of humor???

    • Lord Jim

      I’m not sorry that George Will is part of the pile-on, but I’m pretty sure that the principle reasons Will hates Trump are: 1) He is not a true-believer “conservative”, and 2) He is a vulgar, obnoxious, nouveau-riche lout who doesn’t know which side the salad fork goes on.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Like Trump eats salad!

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          He eats those tasty taco salads at Trump Tower.The best in the world!

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            Just don’t ask where the produce comes from!

          • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

            The dumpster behind a Kroger store?

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Silly banana… they don’t have Kroger in NYC.

            It’s the dumpster behind the King Kullen.

          • cleos_mom

            Another sin that Will wouldn’t forgive — if Trump eats it with a plastic fork.

  • Lord Jim

    Anent KAC’s #metoo claims: Former GWB chief ethics lawyer Richard Painter is demanding she appear before a congressional committee, under oath, and name names. He points out that these claims came up during the campaign, and his contention is that at that time it was a subtle threat to certain R congressmen that if they didn’t fall in line behind Trump, she would name them as offenders. Then she brought it up again recently to blackmail them into supporting Moore, according to Painter.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Oh fuck the Congressional Black Caucus. John Conyers had been known as a corrupt shitheel for years, and if any of the CBC showed the slightest concern, I never heard about it. They think he’s being picked on because he’s black? I think they think he should get a pass because he’s black.

    • He’s being picked on because he’s a Democrat. That’s it. Are there any Republican senators getting the same treatment? Roy Moore doesn’t count; he’s not one of them yet.

      • phoenix00

        Ben Carson?

  • Hardly Ideal

    I thought coveting thy neighbor’s wife was a sin?

    Actually, maybe that’s why Roy Moore has such a boner for the Ten Commandments. He personally can’t remember the rules unless they’re carved into 5,000lbs of stone, just so he can be reminded what they are every day on his way to the office.

    • phoenix00

      And even then he failed at Commandmenting. Bigly.

  • guppy06

    Kellyanne Conway says that she had a #MeToo moment but “nobody cared.”

    OK, having read the link a bit, I see it less of a #MeToo moment and more of a #BothSidesDoIt one, where she was trying to change the conversation around the then recently released Access Hollywood footage. And she seemed disappointed that her making vague comments about undefined persons couldn’t distract from a video recording of a specific perpetrator specifically perpetrating.

    She claimed to be unhappy that “the press” didn’t listen to her, in a conversation with “the press” before a live audience. I can’t imagine “the press” not being willing to let her, say, expand upon her answer then and there, but now she seems unwilling to talk about it, at least beyond trying to shame “liberals” for not focusing on the #BothSidesDoIt narrative.

    And we’re supposed to believe this one time, this One. And. Only. Time. she is actually telling the truth about anything, all while still working as an enabler.

    Yeah, I’m #NotAnAlly for not believing the woman, but I’m also not the one doing my best to protect abusers so that they can keep on abusing.

    • phoenix00

      Here’s a #BothSidesDoIt take: Conway is herself an abuser.

  • Khavrinen

    “Time’s Person of the Year is ‘The Silence Breakers’, AKA the women who have came forward to expose rampant sexual harassment.”

    AKA “the exact opposite of the guy who claimed to have turned it down when it was offered to him first.”

  • Khavrinen

    “The number of people caught attempting to sneak into ‘Murica has decreased by 24 percent from last year”

    Any stats on the number attempting to sneak OUT of ‘Murica since Trump was elected?
    Asking for a friend….

    • javadavis

      We’ve heard that attempts to sneak into Mexico won’t be appreciated – the locals are apparently tired of Trump and tend to conflate any American with a Trumpian, because all Americans look alike or we shouldn’t have elected him or something.

  • TheStrayGoose

    Someone needs to call out Kellyanne by telling her that people do care and want to hear her story.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Kellyanne: “Mean libruls didn’t care when I #metoo’ed! Oh and hey Alabama, don’t forget to vote for the kid-diddler next week!!!”

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