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The only pussy-grabbing Mother would have supported at the time!

McKay Coppins has a fascinating piece on Mike Pence out in The Atlantic. (TRIGGER WARNING for “longread about Mike Pence.”) Much of it is about how Mike loves Jesus and Jesus is the boss of Mike and God is the boss of Jesus and Donald Trump is the boss of Mike and that’s why Mike lies for Donald Trump so much. Whole buncha Bible fuckery, if you ask us.

It also reveals the trivia factoid that Mike Pence’s wife “Mother” thinks Trump is a trash human being. Yay, we agree with Mother about something! That detail is wrapped up inside a much yooger revelation, though, and it is that after Trump’s Grab Them By The Pussy tape leaked, Pence was so horrified that he covered his own ears and also Mother’s ears, so they wouldn’t hear Trump saying swears. But after that, he was still horrified, so he plotted a coup to steal the GOP nomination from Trump and gift it to God’s chosen GOP candidate, whose name was Mike Pence. WHOA IF TRUE, right?

It’s been reported that Pence sent Trump a letter saying he needed time to decide whether he could stay with the campaign. But in fact, according to several Republicans familiar with the situation, he wasn’t just thinking about dropping out — he was contemplating a coup. Within hours of The Post’s bombshell, Pence made it clear to the Republican National Committee that he was ready to take Trump’s place as the party’s nominee. Such a move just four weeks before Election Day would have been unprecedented — but the situation seemed dire enough to call for radical action.

Oh goodness! We knew Reince Priebus was telling Trump to drop out or get pounded in the election (which didn’t happen LOL thanks Electoral College, thanks Russia, thanks James Comey, thanks 78,000 “economic anxiety” racist crackers in the Rust Belt), but apparently the plan was far more advanced than we knew:

According to someone who was present, Priebus added that Pence and Rice were “ready to step in.”

That would be Condoleezza Rice. She could have been your vice president! (Actually, in that scenario, Tim Kaine would probably have been your vice president, Russian interference be damned.)

According to Coppins, Pence wasn’t just planning his coup because he, a dumbfuck, is convinced God has chosen him for a great destiny in the Oval Office. He was also doing it because he was literally D-Y-I-N-G because Donald Trump said P-U-S-S-Y. Mother Pence was particularly “disgusted,” and a former campaign aide says, “She finds him reprehensible — just totally vile.” See? Like we said, we agree with Mother about a thing!

Anyway, Mike Pence didn’t get to do God’s plan for his life in October of 2016. But Pence still knows God has big plans for him, and he knows what they are, because God whispered them into his butt. Maybe Pence will run for president in 2020! Maybe he will become president sooner, because Trump will have to resign once Robert Mueller exposes all his crimes to the world! Maybe Pence will do God’s plan and install himself as president by doing Article 25 to Trump! Only Mike Pence and Jesus know the truth, is the point.

Coppins notes that, for Trump, Pence is an “obedient deputy whose willingness to suffer indignity and humiliation at the pleasure of the president appears boundless.” But maybe there is an endgame in all of this, for the man whose childhood nickname was “Bubbles.” Maybe he is being persecuted by Donald Trump — who makes fun of his Jesus beliefs, and also, according to Coppins, makes fun of the Pence family’s pet cats and rabbit and snake, because Trump thinks the Pences are “yokels” — FOR GOD’S PURPOSE.

(There’s always the possibility God’s plan for Pence is to let Mueller scoop him up in the investigation and kick his gay-hatin’ Jesus freak ass back where he came from. The Lord does work in mysterious ways!)

Another interesting detail in Coppins’s piece is that when Pence was younger, he was not good at sports like his brothers, who were “lean and hard and thin.” Pence, on the other hand, described himself as “the real pumpkin in the pickle patch,” to which we reply HAHA WE BET MIKE PENCE WOULD LIKE TO BE A PUMPKIN IN A PICKLE PATCH, IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN. (How many pickles can you stuff inside a pumpkin? Dunno let’s find out!)

Real shitty how we just jammed a “Mike Pence might be a real big gay closet case” joke into the end of this piece for no reason, but that’s Wonkette for ya.

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[The Atlantic]

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  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Pence is an “obedient deputy whose willingness to suffer indignity and humiliation at the pleasure of the president appears boundless”

      I personally haven’t seen any examples in the whole administration of the contrary.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Wait until the boy king hears about this, ROFL

    • Timothy Watson

      “Great working relationship! Mike isn’t going anywhere!”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Meaning he’ll be “you’re fired” long before Mueller

  • Roadstergal

    “See? Like we said, we agree with Mother about a thing!”

    Nope, I don’t. She’s disgusted with Trump for saying ‘pussy.’ I’m disgusted with Trump for the lack of consent. If we had the word without the lack of consent, I would be fine with it and she wouldn’t. If it were the lack of consent with a nice pretty euphemism, I would be disgusted and she wouldn’t.

    • willi0000000

      and now i agree with you about two a things

  • Weird Fishes

    But Trump is right: He is a yokel. And while Trump is only a ignorant and treasonous loud-mouthed bully, Pence, is actually dangerous.

    • Miles Monroe

      Both are dangerous; one is just a little more blatant about it.

      • Weird Fishes

        I could not agree with you more.

        • MynameisBlarney

          In theory at least, Pence wouldn’t tweet us into WWII.

          • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

            Nope, he’ll just legislate us back to the 16th century.

          • MynameisBlarney

            He’d try to.

          • Weird Fishes

            I would not be at all surprised if Mother didn’t turn out to actually be the brains of the outfit.

          • MynameisBlarney

            If she ain’t, well, that wouldn’t surprise me either.
            Pence doesn’t seem the type to seek out a woman smarter than him.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Pence doesn’t seem the type to seek out a woman

            FIFY

          • fredoandme

            he had to seek out one dumber than him.

            apparently. it’s how those religious fanatics roll.

          • puredog

            Yeah, I’d say Pence has got a lot of bottom in him.

          • fredoandme

            you speak truth!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            You’re forgetting about the rapture- can’t happen until you start armageddon

          • Dudleydidwrong

            He would just make the US theocracy more obvious. Trump/Pence: Devil/deep blue sea. Both need to be gone.

          • fredoandme
          • onedollarjuana

            No, we would just be in it because there was a fly speck on a certain passage in the Bible.

          • fredoandme

            tuttle-buttled into oblivion.

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            Unless he thought it would bring about his precious Apocralypse.

  • proudgrampa

    Pence to replace Trump?

    Be careful what you wish for…

  • Oblios_Cap

    How many pecks of pickled Pences
    could Peter Piper pickle?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    He was also doing it because he was literally D-Y-I-N-G because Donald Trump said P-U-S-S-Y.

    So we could put him into catatonic shock with a little Malcolm Tucker?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaMb-5w-V0Y

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh Mother fucker, please.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Geez, with all these knives out to play, someone’s gonna need a bigger back.

  • NorthernSaber

    “Mother Pence is Angry”- damned if I don’t hear an Amish metal band in that somewhere…

  • schmannity

    Twat hates pussy. Now I’m confused

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s like when you try to push the same pole of two magnets together.

      • NorthernSaber

        I was told there would be no science here…

        • Paul

          Math. No math. We are FULL of actual science facts.

          • NorthernSaber

            Ok, groovy. Please feel free to call on me a great deal when we get to Glacial Geology- it’s long been a favorite. On physics, though, I may have to defer to Wonkers much more Newtonian than I…

          • Paul

            OK. Define esker and use it in a sentence.

          • NorthernSaber

            Definition: elevated, sinewy glacial-fluvial depositional feature made up of sorted sediments that built up in stream channels under receding warm-bed glaciers. Frequently used as early transportation systems because of their elevation above marshy glacial till. Sentence: I grew up on an esker in central Maine that on old maps was called “The Horseback.”

          • Paul

            Well done. I enjoy Geology myself. Needed a science course and Geology fit in my schedule. Expected to be bored silly but was immediately fascinated. It helped that even though it was an intro course, it was taught by the head of the department. UMASS made all their professors teach at least one undergrad course and I lucked out.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Don’t cross the streams!

      Wait.

  • BearLeft

    Because our country, the laws of physics, etc., are all based on the revealed truth that the Tooth Fairy created Hostess Twinkies, and that’s all you need to know. Period. Book of Wingnuts 7:23. Lord save us!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      “And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large Twinkies.”

      2 Corinthians

  • memzilla Ω

    …the man whose childhood nickname was “Bubbles.”

    There’s only ONE WAY a boy gets the nickname “Bubbles,” and it can only involve cabbage, beans, and a bathtub.

    • Mpeg

      Now I’m trying to remember how “Bubbles” on The Wire got his nickname. Or the oafish guy on “Trailer Park Boys” too.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        That last was because of the Coke-bottle glasses.

        • BackDoorMan

          … actually, I remember an episode about Bubbles getting a bubble-making machine in his childhood, and some attendant tragedy… but maybe I had too much driveway hash at the time.

      • puredog

        Unlike a common OITNB, I don’t think The Wire was all about explaining all characters’ backstories.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Fiona the Hippo libel!

    • Msgr_MΩment
      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        There’s a Michael Jackson joke in here somewhere.

        (Too soon?)

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    So when God whispers in my ear it’s never about what His plans are for Me, but that I should buy my cat more toys and better quality cat food. God also licks my ear with his sandpapery tongue.

    Maybe I should avoid the mushrooms of magic.

    • schmannity

      Mushrooms in a brown acid gravy

      • Eileen Besse

        Mmmm….

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Can you invite me to dinner some night?

        • schmannity

          Sure. Just bring a net to help me catch all these bats in the house.

          • puredog

            You live near Barstow?

          • Paul

            “poor bastard will see them soon enough.”

  • GoutMachine

    But if it was God’s will, then why didn’t it happen?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Soros paid God off.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        What can I say? I dropped a bundle on the Panthers in the Super Bowl and my bookie was making threats.
        – God, not as omniscient as he’s let on

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Ask the Long Island Medium. As long as it has nothing to do with her private life, she sees all.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Mother and I may both hate Trump, but for pretty different reasons, I wager. Does Mother want the entire world to be a socialist clothing-optional hedonistic pansexual love-fest of racial and gender equality, radical skepticism, artistic preservation and innovation, and scientific advancement?

    I didn’t think so.

    • DT

      Read that as “artistic perversion” still fully on board.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I like the way you think!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      If we could move to Barcelona, we would.

    • Trip Space-Parasite

      Last weekend, I found out about Fully-Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism. I’m in.

  • onedollarjuana

    One common thread in the belief systems of these theocratists: they cannot believe that God’s plan is for them to go to jail.

    • BadKitty904

      But…but…but I thought they WANTED to be martyrs…

      • YoBunnyBunny

        No, no, no!!! They want to be the kind of matyrs that only suffer mean words hurled at them by godless multicultural libtard queers. I understand that earns them ALL the godly cool points in Jeezusville.

        • BadKitty904

          I dunno. The kind that were et by lions were tons cooler.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Pfft!!! Long-haired hippies and tree huggers that bunch!!!!1!1!

  • Michael R
  • Joe Beese

    That would be JEW WORLD.

    Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore on Monday suggested that George Soros, a Jewish Hungarian-born billionaire and philanthropist, is going to hell.

    “No matter how much money he’s got, he’s still going to the same place that people who don’t recognize God and morality and accept his salvation are going. And that’s not a good place,” Moore said on conservative Christian radio host Bryan Fischer’s show. …

    “His agenda is sexual in nature, his agenda is liberal, and not what Americans need. It’s not our American culture,” he said. “Soros comes from another world that I don’t identify with.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/roy-moore-suggests-george-soros-is-going-to-hell

    • Roadstergal

      “His agenda is sexual in nature”

      As opposed to putting underage girls’ hands on your dick.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or their faces

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I thought rich people were rich because God made his countenance to shine down upon them. What gives?

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Only applies to Christian riches.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Tough titties, short eyes. Jews don’t HAVE Hell.
      But YOU do.

    • altleftjohn

      “His agenda is sexual in nature, his agenda is liberal, and not what Americans need. It’s not our American culture.”

      And I still haven’t been paid for my service in the War on Christmas.

      • Paul

        Didn’t you get the new address to mail your invoice?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        If you don’t include the Task Order Contract Number on your payment request, it can not be processed. Remember, He’s trying to manage hundreds of evil schemes; you’re only involved in one.

        • theblackdog

          But they were all changed for the new fiscal year and no one has sent me the new numbers!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Speaking of inappropriate sexual agendas, anyone asked Moore to weigh in on Pizzagate? Is he for or agin?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Agin. He ain’t gettin’ none of it.

    • elviouslyqueer

      “Soros comes from another world that I don’t identify with.”

      A world that doesn’t include stalking, creeping on, inappropriately touching and fondling, and attempting to rape underage girls, presumably.

      • NorthernSaber

        And, if I may, one that DOES include things like human decency, valuing intelligence, having a family tree that doesn’t look like a telephone pole, and possessing a full set of teeth.

    • TJ Barke

      “His agenda is sexual in nature, his agenda is liberal, and not what Americans need. It’s not our American culture,” he said. “Soros comes from another world that I don’t identify with.”
      Lolwut?

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        I think there’s a sentence missing in there.

      • Edith Prickly

        Here, let me translate for you: “Jew jew jew JEW, liberal Jew being all Jewy jew jew MAGA.”

    • Chyron HR

      “His agenda is sexual in nature, his agenda is liberal, it’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere, not soft and smooth like teenage girls.”

  • La forza del resistino

    Your move Mike. What amendment comes after 24 and before 26?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      “That’s an excellent question, but today, America needs to focus on the dangers of being forced to bake cakes for people you don’t like. . .”

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      5, no 3 sir.

      • La forza del resistino

        If there was gonna be a test, I need to check with Mother Pence.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        European or African?

      • Opalescent Riddles

        But… 5 is right out.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      I was told there would be no math.

      • Arolpin

        That’s just counting. It only becomes math when they ask what is the average of 24 & 26.

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          On a scale of 1 to 10?

          • Arolpin

            Potato.

      • Paul

        Especially shit this difficult.

  • jesterpunk
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Well, that explains the tweet silence. He can’t make 5 calls a day AND do something else.

    • Joe Beese

      “Now watch this drive.”

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      You’re fibbing, ABC News. Donnie doesn’t ‘discuss,’ he ‘harangues.’

  • Paul

    Glad to see Evan hasn’t forgotten about Comey, who has somehow achieved sainthood or some fucking thing. Never ever forget people. Comey and the FBI are dirty as shit in this clusterfuck. He has some splainin’ to do, then some time to serve for putting his precious fucking bureau ahead of an open and fair election. Fuck him right in the ear with a sharp splintery stick.

    • Joe Beese

      Lumpy sez Comey is the REAL justice obstructor here!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Nobody has yet explained the dirty relationship between Ghooliani and his sources of confidential information which seemed to be inside the NY FBI Field Office.

      • Paul

        There ya go! Another concerned patriot paying attention. Keep mentioning this shit Joe. Noun verb 9/11 and the nyc fbi office (at a minimum) need to do a whole shitload of splainin’ too. None of it will be true and they should go directly to fucking prison. Real prison, not a country club. LOCK THEM UP!!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Stop it with the ghey Pence innuendos. Just because he drew up this prototype for his inaugural carriage does not mean he is ghey. Although his princess dress might raise some eyebrows.

    https://beneaththeferns.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/cinderella-pumpkin-carriage-needle-felted-rabbit-by-beneaththeferns.jpg

    • theblackdog

      Mother nixed the idea because his heels were taller than hers.

  • Non-Threatening Ron

    Whenever I happen across someone who talks about ‘God’s purpose for me is to be in charge of things,’ I start looking for the exits. People who think they’re Chosen are scary as FUCK.

    • Crystalclear12

      And never drink their koolaid.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      If Mike Pence whips out his special purpose, RUN!!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s my divine purpose to agree with you on this.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      God told me my purpose is to upfist this comment.

    • Duke

      Those are the people who “pray on it” and then do what the voice in their head tells them to do. That voice sounds exactly like their own, incidentally.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Schizophrenia libelz?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Also, too; and totally by coincidence, the voice also happens to hate hate the exact same people they do.

  • dslindc
    • jesterpunk

      God damn GOP and Trump you are making it really hard for the onion to write anything satirical.

    • Eileen Besse

      Beat me to it!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Ye cannot serve both GOP and Man.

  • redarmyzombie

    “How many pickles can you stuff inside a pumpkin? Dunno let’s find out!”

    I’d rather not, thank you very much…

  • BadKitty904

    I wouldn’t have thought there’s enough room in this Koch-sucker’s closet for all this skullduggery…

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Skullduggery? I thought it was jiggery-pokery!

      • Meccalopolis

        Hanky panky
        Risky business

  • Crystalclear12

    I like the classics:
    What did he know?
    And when did he know it?

    • george lastrapes

      The Trump version:

      What does the PeeResident claim not to know,
      and how in God’s name could he not know it?

      • puredog

        What did he forget, and when did he forget it?

  • Scooby

    Funny Mike Pence call Vladimir Putin God.

  • NorthernSaber

    “Real shitty how we just jammed a “Mike Pence might be a real big gay closet case” joke into the end of this piece for no reason, but that’s Wonkette for ya.”
    I’m sure some Wonker with a PhD and four post-docs in psychology can actually explain this, but what is it about these guys who are so stridently anti-gay that the more they tell us they’re straight the more we are convinced they are huge fans of Dorothy? I guess it could be a sub-conscious need to deny something they view as taboo within the culture they inhabit, but this “Mother” shit reminds me of the worst cut on “Synchronicity”- and it’s about as fucking creepy.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Shame drives men to do the worst things.

    • schmannity

      He’s not gay or Mother wouldn’t leave him alone with men either. He seems more like a Roy Moore Republican.

      • NorthernSaber

        Well, those “Dominionist” fuckers are into some weird stuff. There is something off kilter about Pence- the eyes, something…

        • MynameisBlarney

          What’s wrong with his beady dead soulless eyes?

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          He has a Cause, and the kinds of people who put their Cause above actual consideration of actual living beings are entirely and irremediably mad.

          • NorthernSaber

            I think you nailed it, I really do. He’s a zealot embodied. He sees everything as a sort of zero-sum-gain Crusade, in which the only “victory” lies in making life for Others (most notably our gay friends) as terrible as possible. Did ANY of these fucking people ever read the same hippy-dippy New Testament I read as a wayward Methodist kid?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Something about self-loathing I hear.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

      • NorthernSaber

        At least the fucking thing is in 7/4- its only redeeming grace…

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      A Tale of Homophobia (purely hypothetical)

      A young conservative man feels strange feelings in his down-theres. But he doesn’t feel them when his older brother shows him where the Playboys are stashed. Instead, he feels them when he takes a shower in the gym at school.

      Confused, he goes to talk to his parents/pastor/etc about his experience. They assure him that God will protect him from the evil spirits that have inhabited his peener. They throw all kinds of horrifying lies at him. But most of all, he learns that if he ever tells anyone else, he will be shunned forever.

      His whole life, he deeply resents not being able to act on those feelings. It’s like living in a torturous nightmare. One day, the opportunity to council a young man arises, in a similar situation to himself. Enraged at the idea that the young man could have the joy that he never got, he does everything in his power to make sure he never does. He succeeds as far as he knows, and he is at peace, if only temporarily.

      Eventually, he gets to be VPOTUS and then gets sentenced to eleventy million years in jail for covering up treason. The end.

      • NorthernSaber

        The “…evil spirits that have inhabited his peener” part drew open guffaws. Thank you!!

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        And is locked up with manly mens and no womens for the rest of his days.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I have given great consideration to your treatise, and I find that I must concur that said track was the weakest track on said album. On a related note, (don’t tell the director I said so) but are you safe Miss Gradenko?

      • NorthernSaber

        Well played and nice “B-Side” reference! Love Copeland’s drumming, but there is no way “Mother” was anything other than a peace offering from Sting as that band began to fall apart!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      He just has that inoffensively bland face and the rhetorical range of a sheltered 8th grader.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I haven’t heard him speak much but when I have I was immediately reminded of the Southern Baptist preachers and how much I hated having to hear their fake ass bullshit.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I prefer to think of it as offensively bland.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Like bologna on whitebread with American cheese and mayo.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            And just a shpritz of insect repellent.

          • MynameisBlarney

            No, too fancy.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
          • MynameisBlarney

            No, because that would add an unwanted element of danger and excitement.

          • shot through with rat poison and polonium

          • MynameisBlarney

            Have you tried bologna lately?
            It doesn’t need any of that to be fatal.

          • Little Lulu Ω

            Mayonnaise? Miracle Whip or gtfo.

          • MynameisBlarney

            That ain’t mayo!
            DUKES OR GTFO!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Human beige with a dark undertone.

    • BMW

      I’m having a hard time imagining Pence getting in twitter feud with foreign leaders, threatening war crimes, and using the government to funnel money to his businesses. He’s a reactionary, homophobic jerk stuck in the 1950s, but he’s not a potential cancer on human civilization like Trump is. He also doesn’t have the ability to convince millions of people up is down and back is forward the way Trump does, so he can be fought more fairly in a battle of ideas.

      • Claire

        I think he’s pretty cancerous, but I also don’t think he has the ability to make Republicans in Congress live in fear of their batshit, heavily armed base the way Trump does.

        Also, I feel like he’s the type of person that just seems to invite a punch in the face, and if there’s anything Republicans can’t resist, it’s punching the goody-goodies.

  • dslindc

    I can’t wait for Sarah Huckabee Sanders to lie-splain (while modeling today’s tablecloth) that this was all a joke concocted by a different Michael Pence, a volunteer for a brief time on the campaign.

  • Nounverb911

    Mother doesn’t like donnie, but, but. but donnie likes her.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/749968796618817538

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Mother loves cash.

      I really wanted to make that rhyme by using a controversial word, but stepped back.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I just heard from Mother that she does not like Evan Hurst and his vulgar homosexxian jokes at Mike’s expense, not one little bit. She has threatened spankings.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Oh noes, will she withhold her love next? Poor Evan.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Reliable sources tell me that Evan is rather fond of spankings.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Gotta admit: Turgid Member would make a helluva Press Secretary for the Pencer.

  • ManchuCandidate

    “A Boy should always be best friends with his mother… Yes I would like to play solitaire.”

    Mike “Norman” Pence the Christianist Candidate.

    In the past a mash up of Psycho and the Manchurian Candidate would have been awesome but real life is scary as fuck.

    • redarmyzombie

      “Solitaire”. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        A few years ago we were visiting LA with our bestest local gay friend, and while there we were all visiting our bestest LA gay friends. Meeting up for dinner I complimented our local friend on his spiffy attire, specifically a snazzy white shirt and he said, “(LA gay friend) gave me a free iron job,” to which I replied, “Is that what you guys call it these days?”

        Teehee.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Oh goodness! We knew Reince Priebus was telling Trump to drop out or get pounded in the election (which didn’t happen LOL thanks Electoral College, thanks Russia, thanks James Comey, thanks 78,000 “economic anxiety” racist crackers in the Rust Belt)

    That is a helluva good list, but if I may respectfully submit, also too, misogyny and the giant rightwing lie/reality distortion machine.

    Thank you,

    • Buzz1313

      I told my twenty year old niece her animosity towards Hillary was the result twenty years of media and right wing slander. She didn’t believe me. As awesome as a candidate as Clinton was she was destined to lose with all the shit being thrown at her from all sides. Had she won, the MSM and the right wingers would have relentlessly dogged her. And yet, I still think she’d be able to handle it lots easier than the fast food eating, diet pill addicted, fake billionaire in the White House now.

      • cmd resistor

        I remember thinking in 2008 she didn’t have a shot because too many people irrationally hated her. But by 2012 I was naïve enough to think many had gotten over it.

        • Roadstergal

          Her experience in the Obama cabinet made her an even stronger candidate, and her willingness to serve in that capacity demonstrated her ability to put aside differences and make progress with political rivals.

          But no, we picked the Cheeto.

          • cmd resistor

            I agree. I thought the cabinet experience would overcome the vast right wing conspiracy people. That’s what i get for thinking.

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        To be honest, I had plenty of animosity towards the Hillz during her run against Obama. But, I am able to take in new information and learn things, sometimes, and came to respect her quite a lot in the years after that election.
        I agree that she could have handled the relentless dogging had she won (hell, she’s certainly used to it, and probably expected it).

  • puredog

    My favorite takeaway from this unsurprising revelation is to consider how it will serve to draw Mike and Donnie closer together, if Donnie hadn’t known about it before. I mean, there’s a whiff of disloyalty there, and we all know how Donnie feels about disloyalty.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Yup, suddenly those pardons may be hard to come by, which will only motivate Pence to cover his own ass…

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      This was my thought. Cue Trump challenging Pence to an IQ test in 3….2….1….

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Down with the Pencidency!

  • Nounverb911

    “Mother has an approval problem.”
    –Mike Pence

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chgKw6059dE

  • BadKitty904

    Putin was clever enough to realize that Trump would do more global damage to the U.S. than Pence would…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      A loose cannon vs a garden variety republican? Not that hard to figure out.

  • A Daily Dose of Waits or A Pickle in a Pumpkin Patch:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8X_RjblHg8

    • Duke

      That’s great.

      And for you young’uns… Olds, and your olds, are still happening.

  • OrG

    ALL anti-gay crusaders are closet cases.

    • Andre

      I would be willing to wager money that the human embodiment of Miracle Whip that is Pence has seen a penis in 3D more than once.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I think this is largely true. But I think there are some who are straight – they have a general resentment/hostility problem that could be taken out on any number of targets. They just picked the gays because they want to beat up on and feel superior to someone.

    • Claire
  • kilgoretrout

    He calls his wife “Mother.” And he describes his brothers as “lean and hard and thin.” What does this say about Mike Pence?

    • Nounverb911

      Oedipus Complex?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        “When you’re the running mate, you just let him do whatever he wants. He can walk up to me anytime and grab me by the Oedipussy.”

        -Pence, in his diary, probably

    • Doug Langley

      Plump and soft?

    • proudgrampa

      A psychological mess?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      That he shouldn’t do interviews?

    • BadKitty904

      Creepy as fuck?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Freud’s wet dream?

  • Christopher Story
    • proudgrampa

      Mike really is a prissy little bitch, ain’t he?

      • MynameisBlarney

        He was probably the fuckin’ Melvin that reminded the teacher about homework assignments.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Not a fan of frats, but that just seems like it broke all kinda bro-codes and by-laws, or sumthin.

    • Victoria Ricola

      The evangelical also once attended a music festival billed as the Christian Woodstock and spent days “rocking out to Jesus-loving prog-rock bands and born-again Bob Dylan imitators.”

      Gross.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      And then he debased himself all the way to national fame/infamy. There are probably plenty of other examples of authoritarianism if we dare to investigate. The Kochs/Mercers/etc will enjoy this quality of his greatly if he survives this administration.

    • Claire

      I feel like whoever let Pence into a fraternity and didn’t see this coming has never heard the story about the scorpion and the frog.

  • Doug Langley

    Saaay, you know who else had an unusual mother?

    • Nounverb911

      FDR?

    • BadKitty904
      • theblackdog

        Goddamn that’s creepy

        • BadKitty904

          Anthony Perkins did that just a little too well…

      • Meccalopolis

        Wouldn’t even hurt a fly

      • everstar

        We all go a little mad sometimes.

    • OrG

      Jesus?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Invention?

      • armed_bears

        Fuckin genius.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah…you win the innertubes for today.

      • Jimh

        Well, Necessity IS an unusual name.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Elvis?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Ed Gein?

    • Rick Hill

      Your Editrix?

    • Duke

      Trump?

    • Nockular cavity

      The Barker Gang?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Adam?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Norman Bates?

    • Ginnie Sack

      Whistler?

  • BadKitty904
    • Duke

      Race Bannon libelz!

      Why must people ruin my childhood… All over again!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Wow. Trump’s cabinet includes both Race Bannon and Racist Bannon!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    There is literally no modern political fuck up that Monty Python has not already satirized.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1TN8Xb_RcM

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Never forget: The Emblem of the Fabulous Fourth Reich. All roads lead to Röhm.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/142b18eedf8832f6a7c323b9fe24f0906eba217a8e7d28ba4f4ffd4703c6eb49.jpg

  • Rick Hill

    Sorry. Only going to give Mother props if she was disgusted by trump long before that tape came out

  • Mpeg

    What a pompous, feeble-brained, dickwad maneuver Mikey! that your GAWD would enact an avalanche of suffering for the electorate, treasonous subterfuge within reach for our enemies, craven power grabs among a jaded RNC, endangering our national security in the crosshairs of other nations’ unstable leaders; and odious favor-swapping amongst billionaires after a seat at the table – – all because YOU’RE some sort of designated disciple being groomed to usher, I dunno, whatever New Dawn of Derp as parsed from your gospels?

  • Victoria Ricola

    I hate fucking Mike Pence all the way back to his inept days in Indiana.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I had so very much amusement at the “periods for Pence” debacle.

  • BadKitty904
  • hudson

    folks fascinating read
    How to rig an election

  • mancityRed6

    the only reason Pence was even approached is because he is a toady who will do what he’s told and he didn’t have a chance of winning his re election.

    • BadKitty904

      Pence was chosen because, for the entire span of his political “career”, he has been a wholly-owned possession of the Koch Brothers.

      • mancityRed6

        some how Kansas just rears it’s ugly side everywhere you look.

        • BadKitty904

          The Miss Gulch Effect…

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I never read down. But yes, this ^^^.

    • Beelzebubba

      I figured it was a sop to the god-bothering, bible-humping Talibangelists. They seriously believe what Pence believes about God having planned out this whole Trump clusterfuck.

    • Snork Maiden

      I thought that Jared’s hatred of Christie ( wing the one who put daddy kushner away) was one of the reasons

      • mancityRed6

        like they’d let Christie any where near the White House. they played him from the start and he just never knew it.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Charles Koch’s fair-haired boy, according to Dark Money by Jane Mayer.

  • mrFawkes

    In Pence’s defense, he is a mother fucker.

    • BadKitty904

      Ew.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      #OedipusRekt

  • Beelzebubba

    Obama eclipses Trump in most popular Twitter posts of 2017
    Twitter’s annual list of most retweeted posts features three tweets from Obama, and none from Trump. Somebody is gonna have a meltdown…

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

    • HooverVilles

      Somebody please tell the Donald.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    All it would have cost is $800M for Trump to walk away. Seems like a bargain now, huh?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The price would have just kept going up. We also know Trump can’t be trusted. Or he would have taken the money and stayed in, anyway.

  • BadKitty904
    • Christopher Story

      Jinx

      • BadKitty904

        You owe me a Coke!

        • Christopher Story

          Next time I put pants on.

    • Rocky E

      He looks likes he needs a stool softener.

      • Mary

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        fj320d:
        ➽➽
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  • Rebel Scum with permit

    He won’t be President- or not for very long. His groveling sycophancy will insure that he has orange Trump stain all over him.
    Although it would be just like Pence to turn around and not pardon Trump. It would hurt Pences re-election chances, plus I think it would give Pence a certain amount of quiet satisfaction to watch Trump hauled off to prison.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “I’m sorry, Don. Mother said I couldn’t give you that pardon. But we will pray for you.”

  • Christopher Story

    I love whipping out this one when talking about Mike Pence. He is literally a comic book villain. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/87615f3e3b78bae6d3e2556c40e349d91d87d17ef1199b1c09e0a72749913bce.jpg

  • Rocky E

    Am actually thinking that Pence and his “mother” aren’t so bad compared to Trump.
    Someone talk me down..

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I would argue nuclear war is worser than a Medieval theocracy.

      Theocracies can be overthrown, nuclear war would take hundreds of thousands or millions of years to deal with.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      He’d be just as likely if not more so to start a war in the Middle East to satisfy his Rapture fantasies. Well, the religious ones, anyway. Separate from the “rapture” fantasies he allegedly may or may not have about any or all of Trump’s handsome liberal arch-nemeses. (FanFiction dot net might want to scour their Trubama archives for any IP addresses coming from the Indiana governor’s mansion or 1600 Pennisylvania Avenue in Washington D.C.)

    • marxalot

      Sure, I mean, compared to necrotizing fasciitis, the Spanish Flu doesn’t seem so bad.

      • Rocky E

        Exactly. “It could be worse. It could be raining.”

        • LucindathePook

          *Cue thunder and lightning*

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Well, as an abortion-having-had-er and a minority faith backgrounder, I will just say that while Donald Trump may nuke us into the next century, I don’t think he will be the one putting me and my family into a concentration camp, just saying.

      • Beelzebubba

        What would send us further back in time: Trump’s nuclear war or Pence’s inquisition?

    • Flashman

      All things considered, I would rather have an incompetant conservative than a competant one, a plus for Trump. Except for the nuclear war thing. Actually, fuck both of them.

  • marxalot

    …cucumbers, Mike. “Pickles” aren’t something that grow in any kind of agricultural environment, much less a “patch.” I know, that ruins your folksy alliteration. You utter poltroon.

  • BMW
    • Daniel

      He’s just “electrocute people until they stop being gay” reactionary jerkwad.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I bet he’s scouring eBay Canada now for a refurbished “fruit machine.” It’s going to be a photo finish, the bidding war between Pence and David Miscavige.

        • chazmanr

          What do slot machines have to do with Scientology?

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          BUT HIS E-METERS!!1!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    This whole thing has gone from strange to catastrophically weird. Trump, Moore, Pence, the Russians, Mueller, Comey, Manafort, Flynn….

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I’ve said it before: we’re not just in the Upside Down.

      We’re in the Bass-Ackwards.

  • Nockular cavity

    an “obedient deputy whose willingness to suffer indignity and humiliation at the pleasure of the president appears boundless.”

    You know, I’m not a dom, BUT IF I WERE, I would answer that personal ad with a quickness.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      So that’s why he wanted to be the veep: He’s a natural bottom?

      • Duke

        He’s the freaking American VP! What else does he need?

      • Gigglesnort

        I think that is one of the requirements.

      • Jinnx

        Power bottom

        • The Person.

          Uke

  • Apple Scruff

    I think we all need to tweet a link of this article to 45 all at once just so he reads it.

    • Beelzebubba

      Much too long for him to read in one sitting. We’d need the Children’s Highlights version, with pictures.

      • Claire

        Goofus and Golgotha?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Painful visits to the dentist trigger!!!!!

  • theblackdog

    Yes, I’m well aware that Pence might not cause us to die in a nuclear holocaust, but then I’d be making these non-comments about articles written by Evan while we’re housed in the Pence “shock the gay away” camp

    • Lambsendbeds

      Where do the bisexxicans go under Pence ( let me rephrase that)? Asking for a friend…

      • theblackdog

        To dinner with Mother?

  • Lambsendbeds

    The Pence family has a pet snake? That can’t be true – snakes are the Devil’s instrument !!!!1!11!1!!!eleventy!

    Please don’t tell me that Mike and Mother use the snake for a little cosplay of the Garden of Eden, the snake and the naked lady…

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Who plays Abel?

      • Me not sure

        Apparently any random member of the administration that pisses Trump off.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      As long as it isn’t a woman-snake, Mother is cool with it. Because, obviously, a boy-snake isn’t going to work his way up some part of Mike Pence’s anatomy and NO WIMMENS!!!!!!11,1,1,1!

    • Bitter Scribe

      HEY! I’m cooking dinner here!

    • Peggy Ryan

      Maybe they belong to one of those crazy snake-handling bible thumper ‘religions’.

  • Spurning Beer
    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Robert Duval is much more handsomer and ruggeder– and not-plastic at all. Not to mention, he looks like he probably has a personality.

      • Spurning Beer

        Yeah, but sad to say, he probably supported Trump. He supported Giuliani, McCain, and Romney.

        • natoslug

          I don’t remember where the interview was, but Duval claimed that he voted Rebublican because when he was growing up, Democrats were the racists. He may be a great actor, but apparently he’s an incredibly slow fucking learner.

          • Spurning Beer

            Somebody, maybe Truman Capote, said something about intelligence and acting ability being incompatible. I guess he had a point.

    • Bitter Scribe
    • The Person.

      According to the Alt-shite, Pence is Moonman, the genocidal Mack Tonight lookalike.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I think Pence and Mother look alike.

  • Vorhees

    Don’t worry about it too much, God regularly trolls Republican politicians.

    “I want you to run for president.”
    [Later] “I thought you wanted me to run for president?”
    “I wanted you to run, I didn’t say I wanted you to *win*. It was amusing though, thanks!”

  • tehbaddr
  • Jgb979

    It’s going to be fun mocking this man when he’s president.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Pence is exactly the kind of characterless toad who will make out with someone’s ass, then turn around and shiv them in the back.

  • The Person.

    This is why Mueller (Blessed Be His Name) MUST prove Pence was personally aware of the Russian fuckery, and did nothing about it. Misprision of a Felony isnt the biggest charge around, but it could make Ryan president instead.

    • Me not sure

      Nooooo! We must win back the House before all of this Mueller business is concluded. Then their worst fear. The House elects Hillary Clinton as Speaker
      and she assumes the Presidency after both Pence and Trump are impeached, and nominates Bernie as VEEP, followed by the House electing Pelosi Speaker again. I know. …But a guy can dream can’t he?

  • tehbaddr

    My gadar always goes off when I see that Race Bannon looking man servant. It’s always the ones who do protest soooo much, also, too!

  • You could do worse than Condi Rice as VP. In fact, you’re doing it right now.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Not much worse than Condi (“I am Dubya’s secret bride and I love to leave blood on the keyboard) but better than Pence, himself.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    God’s Plan for Pence seems to be heading for The Greybar Hotel.

  • Aileen

    Fun story about Mike Pence’s long history of being an insufferable shitheel. http://www.newsweek.com/mike-pence-once-ratted-out-his-fraternity-brothers-having-keg-735711

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      What a suck up!

  • Kneeling Bozilingus
  • Viktor

    No

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Men who believe in gay conversion therapy are ALWAYS men who spend all their time thinking about throbbing, turgid, love muscles.

  • kfreed

    “thanks 78,000 “economic anxiety” racist crackers in the Rust Belt”

    Thanks Bernie Bros: “Beyond Bernie: Still Not With Her” https://www.socialistalternative.org/2016/06/24/bernie/

    Hmmm… wonder why: Also Socialist Alternative: “Our Campaign for Nader” https://www.socialistalternative.org/support-naders-campaign-for-president/socialist-alternative-our-campaign-for-nader/

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTCr3dtDv1o

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70ZUSd43NEk

    You’re fucked. We’re all fucked. And I told you so many times over the years that getting in bed with the Libertarian alt-right was an invitation to get ratfucked. I also provided you with plenty of evidence that Greenwald is not now nor has he ever been on the left.

  • Oona

    Pumpkin in the pickle patch made me think of the Roberto Benigni act of “Night on Earth”.

  • meanlawyermom

    2 things
    1) I strongly believe trigger warnings serve an important role in certain areas, but that trigger warning made me laugh so much.

    2) Mother looks like Miriam Flynn in that picture! I’ve been puzzling over who she looked like and now that it’s the holiday season, I thought of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and Mother is a dead ringer for Miriam Flynn in that movie.

  • kfreed

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d1699cbaefc7d07357ca6fb17dc19adf14c0d0be30bb0e66ae0a4daed6372ce.png https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0780166f34de0f03e2af4f05f229838ac99f0851e27c82bf672b6a207cd19289.jpg

    How stupid (and heinous) are you Green Party douchebags, anyway? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f6e9221c4326ab1107edd98f8be8da53f3a3f07152b0d2b48315a930a57cac9e.jpg

    “What Sarandon is voicing is the old Leninist idea of “heightening the
    contradictions,” which holds that social conditions need to get worse in
    order to inspire the revolution that will make them better. In this way
    of thinking, the real enemy of progress is incremental reform that
    would render the status quo tolerable. That was the position of the
    German Communists in the early 1930s, who refused to ally with the
    Social Democrats, proclaiming: “After Hitler, our turn!” A similar—if
    less deadly—assumption underlay Ralph Nader’s 2000 presidential
    campaign, for which Sarandon served as co-chair of the national steering
    committee. George W. Bush, Nader argued then, could serve as a
    “provocateur,” awakening the power of the left. “If it were a choice
    between a provocateur and an ‘anesthetizer,’ I’d rather have a
    provocateur,” said Nader. “It would mobilize us.”

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/03/29/susan_sarandon_is_perfect_spokeswoman_for_neverhillary.html

    “THE 2000 CAMPAIGN: THE GREEN PARTY; In Nader Supporters’ Math, Gore Equals Bush”
    http://www.nytimes.com/2000/10/15/us/the-2000-campaign-the-green-party-in-nader-supporters-math-gore-equals-bush.html

    Green Party Michael Moore: “Take over the Democratic Patty” https://michaelmoore.com/10PointPlan/

    Jill Stein, Mike Flynn, Russia Today, and Putin

    (You may all go fuck yourselves)

  • kfreed

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEC68vTQwP8

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70ZUSd43NEk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9H1FUgvIbg

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9u3ixoZUQ4

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrJ0HZcr4zs

    Which of you backstabbing, corrupt fucks did NOT know that your Libertarian Cohorts were making deals with Putin and European Fascist Parties (on behalf of Trump nd with the aide of Greenwald and Snowden)?

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Wasn’t this photo just before they left the stadium because players took a knee during the Anthem?

  • kfreed

    This certainly explains your silence on Libertarian/Green Party ratfuckers. Remember this: you were warned to speak up when you had the chance. Now you’re finished. One does not play footsie with fascists.

  • Viktor

    Mrs. Pence- “Sit up straight , fix your hat it’s crooked, did you pray before you ate that Dorito, Trump isn’t your boss I am, did you passingly glance at another woman when you walked through the room, mind your manners, ok get in the cage you’ve been bad.
    Mike Pence- “Yes mommy, ok mommy, no sorry mommy, I know mommy, no mommy, yes mommy, yes mommy!”

  • Carole

    “Yay, we agree with Mother about something!

    We need a gif of Mother shaking her head now.

    • pd1648

      As Papa Pence is covering her ears.

  • Mikey and Mother were planning a coup d’etblahhh.

  • Earl Of Sammich

    I can’t help but think that Mr. Pence is actually looking forward to going to jail and finding a new “Mother.”

  • There is no might be about it. Shake the tree hard enough, someone is going to find some men fun in the works

  • Nounverb911
  • Begin Anew Day

    “Real shitty how we just jammed a “Mike Pence might be a real big gay closet case” joke into the end of this piece for no reason, but that’s Wonkette for ya.”

    THIS is why Wonkette is my only subscription news service. The rest of them can kiss my ass. Now my ass is a wonder of Nature and kissing it is a privilege! So you punks at the NYT and the WSJ best just stay away. I’m not in the mood for you slobbering around and begging me to permit you to kiss my ass. No, no, no! Shoo! Begone!
    I’m not in the mood! Go do some actual journalism first and I might possibly reconsider your pleas to kiss my glorious ass!

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      mmmm…i’m suddenly entertaining the notion of taking up journamalisms

      • Begin Anew Day

        The pay sux but when the perks include some time with my wonderful ass then it all evens out.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          yes–being the selfless, atruistic saint that i am, always willing to forego outrageous sums of money for more sublime rewards–the perks and the satisfaction of a job well done are my true motivation and reward 😊

  • UnsaltedSinner

    ‘I have been with him, going on two years, Master Coppins,’ said Pence; shutting up his book, after carefully marking the place where he had left off. ‘Since the presidential campaign. How much have I to be thankful for, in that! How much have I to be thankful for, in Mr. Trump’s kind intention to give me my VP spot, which would otherwise not lay within the umble means of Mother and self!’

    ‘Then, when his term is over, you’ll be president, I suppose?’ said I.

    ‘With the blessing of Providence, Master Coppins,’ returned Pence.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c55954e0ed582b743a10ee78db04f03e876a905ee70ae2cb6a1a6ffe1b570238.jpg

    I’m increasingly certain that our universe was created by Charles Dickens.

  • SerialParkingViolator

    Now this is how one hates https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a4a2b09d41a405e32a5152a0620bc1a2e4826ac966c1620a8367c84afd79c275.jpg on Mike Pence. There are many of we Hoosiers who would benefit by kneeling at the feet of this master, read, and learn.

  • Bob Smith

    How about that, I agree with Karen Pence. Further, Karen and Mike Pence are human trash too.

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    “It also reveals the trivia factoid that Mike Pence’s wife “Mother” thinks Trump is a trash human being.”

    Mother is lying. It’s what Talibangelical Christians do. If she had any qualms, she never would have bought a ticket on the Trump train to begin with.

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