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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today, but first, enjoy a tranquil clownfish hanging out with some its anemone-bros.

Late last night Robert Mueller asked a judge to yank Paul Manafort’s bail deal after it was discovered that Manafort was writing an op-ed under a fake name with a sketchy Russian confidant aimed at sowing doubt against his involvement with Russian fuckery.

MORE documents have been turned over to Robert Mueller and his justice league of extraordinary investigators that show an NRA operative attempting to set up a meeting between the Trump campaign and Putin.

The story about the day George Papadopoulos was arrested is some super sweet Spy vs Spy stuff.

Trump’s bank records at Deutsche bank have been subpoenaed by Robert Mueller’s team. The bank says it will cooperate and spill the beans about Trump’s roughly $300 million in debt.

Here’s a good ‘splainering by Ali Velshi about all the poor-fucking hidden inside the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich).

With a government shutdown looming at the end of the week, Republican leaders are trying to kick the can down the road for another two weeks, hoping like hell you won’t be paying attention to politics during the holidays CHRISTMAS, DAMMIT.

Over a dozen House Freedom crazies almost scuttled the Trump/Ryan cuts (for the super rich) yesterday when they began opposing a routine procedure in protest of all the deficit spending.

Congressional leaders will drag their asses over to the White House and try to hammer out a budget deal, at least until Trump inevitably gets distracted and starts defending pedophiles on Twitter (again).

Congressional Democrats want to know why the FCC is refusing to release the ISPs of net neutrality complaints. To be honest, it’s probably because almost half a million comments were from Russian bots.

Yesterday SCOTUS decided to let Trump’s Muslim ban travel restrictions on people from Muslim majority countries stand on the grounds that the Muslim revised travel ban was about keeping ‘Murica safe from bad hombres.

A new investigation by USA Today has found the VA has been hiring awful doctors with malpractice claims and settlements in cases that left people dead or dismembered, sanctions for sexual misconduct, and felony convictions that include burglary and drug dealing. But don’t worry about it — everything will be just fine.

Now that it’s been revealed that he’s a creepy old man, John Conyers won’t run for reelection in 2018.

One of the women who says she dated ALLEDGED pedophile Roy Moore when she was 17 has found MORE evidence in her old scrapbook, with handwritten notes from Moore.

Following Trump’s endorsement, the RNC will give ALLEDGED pedohile Roy Moore $1 million dollars for his Senate race because apparently morality and scruples are dead.

Donald Trump is allowing an elite team specializing in interrogating terror suspects without torture to fall into disuse, because torture is cool and the program was set up by Barack Obama’s administration.

A bipartisan delegation of legislators from hurricane ravaged Florida and Texas are threatening to vote en masse against a continuing resolution to fund the government if they don’t get some money to for all their icky, mold-covered poors.

A new survey of Hurricane Harvey survivors has found that barely a quarter of storm victims have received any aid from FEMA, with black and Hispanic people suffering the worst.

Deep in the bowels of Congress and K street, Democratic strategists are plotting class warfare against Republicans who just can’t stop all their poor-fucking.

Later today a judge will rule on whether a sexual harassment claim by former Apprentice contestant, Summer Zervos, can move forward — potentially setting the stage for Trump to testify about all of his pussgrabbing.

NICE TIME! Jess Phoenix is a vulcanologist running for California’s 25th on a platform of bringing more science into politics.

NICE TIME! During a debate about same sex marriage, an Australian politician proposed to his partner. Absolutely FABULOUS! Cheers, mates!

Milo Yianno-whatever is in Australia saying awful things. That’s about all the coverage we’re going to give this obnoxious, self-aggrandizing jerk with no fashion sense.

During some silly PR thing last night John Oliver started grilling Dustin Hoffman over allegations of sexual harassment, and no, Hoffman really can’t use Tootsie as a defense for his feminist credentials.

MSNBC has essentially “You’re Fired” contributor Sam Seder after a sarcastic anti-rape tweet was dug up by the alt-right MRA troll, Mike Cernovich.

The SEC took its first shot at the Internet’s magic funny money when it filed a complaint against PlexCoin for defrauding investors.

FCC Chairman and corporate piece of shit Ajit Pai will speak at Verizon’s DC headquarters today, presumably to gloat and dance on the corpse of the Internet with the impending death of net neutrality.

A decision from the Ninth Circuit court in favor of AT&T could negate Pai’s half-assed argument that repealing net neutrality would give the FTC regulatory control over telecom companies.

If you can stomach all the Christianist crap, this profile of Mike Pence might make you wonder if Pence is more evil and conniving — and ultimately worse than — Donald Trump.

According to Alex Jones, lesbians are running around grabbing ass and trying to “take a buzz saw and cut the top of your head off like a pumpkin” so they can eat your brains. With that logic, the Walking Dead is an allegory for feminism.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert had some talky time with Billy Bush; James Corden talked about Trump’s admission of guilt; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at obstruction of justice and tax fuckery; The Daily Show ‘splainered the GOP love letter to the donor class; Jordan Klepper talked about how the NRA is rolling back gun laws; and Samantha Bee dug up some economists to explain why the Laffer Curve is horse shit.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! LION CUBS!

Money is the gift that let’s us keep on giving you all the newses, nice times and ‘splainerings! 

Follow Dominic on Twitter and send him all your cute kitties!

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  • Nounverb911
    • weejee

      Drip, drip, drip…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        What did the Predisent brew and when did he brew it?

    • tehbaddr

      That’s the new fancy hipster trend called “pour over” coffee. Basically they culturally appropriated The Melitta system and are charging you a good buck for what you could make at home. But they do it with flair, artistically!

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        I do make it that way at home. All my fancy machines broke. Simple never fails.

      • aureolaborealis

        And I assume they’ve come up with new terms and especially pricing for what used to be $10 worth of coffee-making equipment. The first time I ever had really, really good coffee was at a Swedish friend’s house in high school. His mom made coffee for us this way, and my head exploded with delight.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      The watched cup never fills.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Graduated cylinder/mug or GTFO!

  • GoutMachine

    Oh, this Deutsche Bank news is glee-inducing. From The Guardian:

    The new revelation makes it clear that Mueller and his team are investigating the president’s financial transactions. It is not clear whether Mueller is interested in the bank accounts because they are connected to the Russia probe or if he is investigating another matter.

    Ivanka Trump, the president’s daughter and adviser in the White House; her husband, Jared Kushner, who is also a presidential adviser; and Kushner’s mother, Seryl Stadtmauer, are all clients of Deutsche Bank.

  • Nounverb911
    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Is that why everyone thinks I live in this office.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • MynameisBlarney
  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Woo hoo — follow that Trump money trail — that is where the skeletons are rattling chains, clanking in full sight.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I’m reposting this because it’s insane. We are about mid-leap into dictator territory.
    https://twitter.com/AdamParkhomenko/status/937902576598630400?s=17

    • MynameisBlarney

      If this don’t inspire Mueller to hurry the fuck up, then WTF?

    • BigCSouthside

      Erik Prince really needs to be referred to as “war criminal Erik Prince” in all news writing

      • Werewolf

        “Mercenary Scum Erik Prince”

    • janecita

      After Trump got elected my husband said , “Sometimes we have to take a step back to take to steps forward.” Now he simply says, “We are royally fucked.”

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • From Russia with Love

      “Judge Moore, you promised us you would stop molesting women. Now we catch you with a 14 year old girl.”
      “Can’t you see, I’m tapering off.”

  • Nounverb911
  • Asterix

    I’ve been saying all along that Pence is actually worse than Trump. I want them both gone but then we get Paul Ryan.

    Paul Manafort is dumber than a box of rocks.

    • GoutMachine

      I’ve been of two minds about it. On one hand, at least Pence is predictable evil. But on the other hand, things would actually get done.

      • Asterix

        Right. Pence is a christian fascist and would turn us into a theocracy with republican support. Trump could get us all dead.

        • GoutMachine

          Right. And I can’t tell which is worse.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      If it gets down to Ryan the dysfunction itself will save us.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Dumb and arrogant — a lethal combo for him… lololol

    • Flashman

      You only get Ryan if he’s the speaker of the house. If Trump and Pence both go after the midterms, you get President Pelosi [rubs hands and cackles].

      • Querolous

        The House could choose someone other than Nancy. President Clinton!

  • calliecallie
    • janecita

      Fucking kill him already!!! He sucks!

      • I don’t even watch this show. The comics are alright.

      • BigCSouthside

        The show is starting to get silly.

        • Bobathonic

          “Starting”? The very zombie premise is silly.

          • BigCSouthside

            Well you suspend that part of reality as a premise of the show. But this Negan shit is so fucking dumb.

        • janecita

          At this point, I’m rooting for the zombies.

      • calliecallie

        He was kinda hot in his skivvies in the last episode. Just saying.

    • BigCSouthside

      One thing I don’t get: that show is set in the south. There are military bases everywhere. Pretty much everyone is dead. How do they not have tanks and artillery and shit by now.

      Oh, Negan. You have a barb wire bat? Cool. Here’s my Abrams tank.

      • Most domestic bases don’t actually have heavy artillery like you’d think. There’s no need for it.

        • BigCSouthside

          Yeah, but they have some. The bases I trained at AT LEAST had like AT-4s and Tow Missiles, and other assorted field artillery and shit. Hell if they took a detour over to Benning they probably would have been set forever.

          This season it also seems apparent that they found every single fully automatic rifle or SMG in the damn country. They also have found quite a few a few RPGs. Where the hell did those come from?

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            Every local gun store?

          • BigCSouthside

            Shit you probably can buy RPGs down there. Didn’t think of that

          • From Russia with Love

            Ft Carson used to have a gazillion tanks, too.

        • From Russia with Love

          Mmmmm, https://www.stripes.com/news/us-army-s-last-tanks-depart-from-germany-1.214977

          “STUTTGART, Germany — The U.S. Army’s 69-year history of basing main battle tanks on German soil quietly ended last month when 22 Abrams tanks, a main feature of armored combat units throughout the Cold War, embarked for the U.S.

          On March 18, the remaining tanks were loaded up at the 21st Theater Sustainment Command’s railhead in Kaiserslautern where they then made the journey to the shipping port in Bremerhaven, Germany. There they boarded a ship bound for South Carolina.

          From World War II on through the Cold War, tanker units were a heavy presence in Germany. At its peak, Germany was home to 20 NATO armored divisions, or about 6,000 tanks, according to the 21st TSC.

          “There is no [U.S.] tank on German soil. It’s a historic moment,” said Lt. Col. Wayne Marotto, 21st TSC spokesman.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        An M1 is pretty difficult to drive. Even a Stryker requires a lot of training.

        Similarly, setting fuses and aiming large artillery pieces are very specialized skills. Probably even moreso now, with all the digital fire control systems and GPS guided munitions they have.

        • BigCSouthside

          Meh. There are manuals. Not like they don’t have a lot of time on their hands

          • Yellerduck

            And Youtube. Surely someone has Youtubed all that shit and surely the internet could survive any apocalypse.

          • BigCSouthside

            And there has to at least be some survivors besides Abraham that are vets.

          • Blanche de Shambles

            It’s all fun and games until you call in a fire mission on your own position.

        • aureolaborealis

          You’re saying that if the protagonists battled hordes of undead using M1s, the use of the tanks would be the hard-to-believe part?

          • Blanche de Shambles

            Yes, precisely.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        They also have million dollar mansions surrounded by secure fencing, but you never see any of them settling down in one of those…no…instead, they choose a fucking prison. Dumbasses.

      • bupkus231

        I suppose Northern Virginia is “the South” – that’s where they’ve been for the last three seasons, at least. Yeah, they started out outside of Atlanta ( and the show is still shot in Georgia ), but, other than Quantico, there really aren’t many bases in the suburbs….

  • Nounverb911
  • OneYieldRegular

    I’m just going to leave this here to fester in the sun:

    Orrin Hatch yesterday on why Republicans need to support Roy Moore: “that’s the only Republican you can possibly get down there.”

    • GoutMachine

      Wait, so all Alabama Republicans are child molesters? That’s what I hear in that statement.

      • janecita

        Well, aren’t they?

      • Catstro

        I read it as “you go to the election with the candidate you have, not the candidate you want or wish to have at a later time”. As in, at this point it isn’t possible to get another R on the ballot in time for the election, so you’re going to vote for the pedo, and you’re going to like it. I am more than willing to accept your interpretation, however.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Hatch is arguably more brain addled than Dumbelldore’.

    • A Groucho Marxist

      Wow, Orrin really showing his distaste for Alabama Republicans with that statement (I will pretend).

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      And crimes are A-OK if committed decades ago. Sweet Jesus, I am actively advocated for Romney for Senate — WTF?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Not if you are a democrat.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Cousin-fucker or pedophile. You’ve got to choose, folks.

      • GoutMachine

        Why not both? #Alabama

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Mississippi: “Hold my beer, y’all.”

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    With Russia so busy trying to ruin run America and the EU, who the fuck is running Russia?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Bots, obviously.

    • Parakeetist

      Satan

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Seitan, i.e. vegan babby buttholes.

    • BadKitty904

      Russia has very successfully outsourced the destruction of the United States to the Republican Party.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      In Putin’s Russia, country runs you.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Trick question. Nobody’s been running the place for years.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Asterix

      I have never understood banks giving Trump money after one bankruptcy, let alone three.

      • MynameisBlarney

        The American banks stopped after a while.
        That’s when he turned to roosha.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I shoulda kept reading before posting. :(

      • Bill D. Burger

        He’s obviously a great snake oil salesman, and when he depleted even his store of snake oil here and American banks laughed at him for even seeking a loan from them any longer, he took his con act overseas, and especially to ___ of course, Russia.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        So that they could use him for illegal money laundering? Just spit-ballin’ here.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        They didn’t. That’s why he went to Russia.

      • kilgoretrout

        Douche bank was knee deep in Russian oligarch’s filthy lucre.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: With Elections Coming, New Year Could Be Even More Chaotic Than This One
    https://www.lexisnexis.com/communities/state-net/b/capitol-journal/archive/2017/12/01/with-elections-coming-new-year-could-be-even-more-chaotic-than-this-one.aspx

    In this space last year we noted the key word in sussing out America’s legislative landscape in 2017 would be uncertainty, due primarily to questions and concerns over the incoming presidential administration and one party having control over Congress, the White House and, for all intents and purposes, the Supreme Court of the United States. Now, after almost a year of lawsuits, court rulings, executive orders and Congressional and executive branch dysfunction, it’s clear that chaotic would have been the more appropriate term.

    And if you thought this year was frenzied you might want to buckle up. With the pressure and fervor of mid-term elections added to the mix, 2018 could be an even wilder ride.

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Oh.
      Good.

      • BadKitty904

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m looking to escape this shit show. With the entire economy designed to fuck me over, I don’t see any practical reason to stay. After working for 40 years, I have nothing to show for it. Lost my home years ago and my truck is 20 years old. Zero savings and no job at the moment. I can get another McJob (contract, no benefits) to see me through a few months or maybe a year and then I’ll be back in the same boat, with even fewer options due to my age.

      How has this become the American Dream? Work your entire life so you can die penniless and poverty-stricken the moment you can no longer work? Fuck that noise

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        What happened to the American Dream? It came true. You’re looking at it.
        – The Comedian, Watchmen

      • BadKitty904

        I do not know the answer to that question. And it’s a question that’s being asked more and more often.

        While the Dems offer no viable hope, the Republicans – the prime cause of this nightmare – seem to have forgotten that desperate people are the most dangerous.

  • Nounverb911
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    From the Papadopeadope article:

    While his late-night arrival at the jail may lead some to suspect a prolonged interrogation by the FBI, legal experts said it was highly unlikely agents would have attempted that. One reason: Papadopoulos already had Breen and Stanley on board as his lawyers by the time of the February interview, so any attempt to interview him without his lawyers could have violated legal ethics rules. If Papadopoulos was deemed to be in custody, any statements or admissions he made might have been unusable against him.
    […]

    With that option appearing to be off the table, the FBI and special counsel Robert Mueller’s team appear to have decided to shock Papadopoulos about the seriousness of his predicament by making the arrest.

    “Law enforcement likes to get somebody’s attention as much as they can in a lawful way,” Breen observed.

    Lawyers said the impact was likely a jarring one.

    Hehe, yeah, I’d say they rattled him a bit.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      I hope he never sleeps soundly again. That’s some real torment.

  • Daniel

    Roy Moore’s Kellyanne Conway raises a good point: why isn’t the media reporting on all the women who aren’t claiming Moore sexually assaulted them?

    I think we know the answer: bias.

    Now, let’s talk about all those emails Hillary Clinton didn’t delete, and all the Benghazis that went as planned.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Charlie Manson never murdered me! How come no one ever brings that up!?

      • (((Aron)))

        CHARLIE MANSON LIBELZ!!!!

        He totally murdered you!

    • OneYieldRegular

      You know, all this focus on Roy Moore’s pedophilia is really distracting. I can hardly focus on his belief that women shouldn’t hold public office, that mass shootings and terrorism are all due to godlessness and that homosexuals should be thrown in prison.

      • Tiffany de Houston

        He was profoundly unfit for office long before the pedophilia allegations emerged and yet that’s been completely forgotten amidst this horror show.

        • cmd resistor

          I agree. One of the worst. Although being just an asshole who had no business being a lawyer or judge or Senator wouldn’t have been enough to stop him from being elected.

        • puredog

          Actually, Richard Painter tweeted (I think yesterday) that exact message after sidestepping the pedophilia allegations as sort of beside the point. He’s right, of course, but they’re the clickbait gateway to the full picture of Moore’s unsuitability.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Wasn’t the SS Hitler’s lil private security/spy agency?How is this any different. Oh, and Erik Prince is a fucking war criminal who should be in prison.

    • (((Aron)))

      The SS was essentially the State.

      They controlled the police. They controlled internal and foreign intelligence. They had their own armed forces. They controlled the KZ system.

      But yes, they initially started out as bodyguards.

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      Funny, the SS Hitler was the name of Trump’s yacht during the Marla Maples era.

  • Nasty Woman Persisted

    “Believe me, there is nothing to this Russia thing. Believe me.” = Trump 2016 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/29de037012552cfe135595de5c7c5f3187acce1b69dd7832eaa83d5ba7e966e8.jpg

  • Nounverb911
    • GoutMachine

      Wow, nice.

  • Baconzhurtzin’

    I just realised “Cock-ober” came (tee-hee “came”) late this year. Is it like easter and randomly shows up because the lunar calender is confusing?

    • (((Aron)))

      CHAD LIBELZ!!!

  • Marion in Savannah

    Anemones clearly worship FSM, and caress clown fish in their noodly appendages.

  • Nounverb911
    • Non-Threatening Ron

      I know for a stone fact it ain’t A.

    • Rags

      Not enough fish sandwiches.

    • puredog

      Trick answer: It’s Moore who’s neck-deep in a kiddie pool.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      E) He’s shitting his spleen out in panic and the shaking won’t let him tweet.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Sam Seder and Joy Reid are forced to publicly apologize-and for past thoughtless comments. Trump and fellow Republicans laugh and say racist, homophobic, misogynistic every single day with complete impunity. BOTH SIDES!!11!!!

    • I didn’t even bother with the Joy Reid story. The bro-brigades attacking her are the same idiots who are blindly hateful in their own misguided idealism, or pathetic hypocrites.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        They’ve learned that Dems will wring our hands and pillory one of our own, while they walk away laughing to go beat up a gay immigrant.

        • CripesAmighty

          THIS!

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        And it’s not like they are actually concerned about the LGBT community. They just saw it as a “gotcha.”

        • Gayer Than Thou

          SO MUCH THIS. As Queen Of All The Gays (In My House), I’ll decide when we need to parade Joy Reid in a tumbril through the public square, thank you very much. Until then, I don’t need people using my life to score cheap points against a journalist I actually respect.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            We’re going to need photo proof of that Queen of All The Gays claim.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I need to get my crown back first.

            https://media.giphy.com/media/SapVi2TUElskw/giphy.gif

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Also too, we do the exact same thing on this site when we refer to Senator Graham as, “Miss Lindsey.” So, she really wasn’t disparaging the gay community by her words (unless we are, too). Her posts were directed to Crist. She apologized. He forgave her. End of story. The gay community has exactly jack shit to do with what happened.

            And, does one have to be gay in order to be Queen of the Gays in their house, because that sounds like a really nifty title?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Live alone with a bunch of cats. Since cats can’t be bothered to participate in a democracy (and anyway lack the thumbs to pull the lever), you can simply declare yourself Queen of Anything in your own house. I’ve had more difficulty getting people to recognize the title outside my house, but one step at a time.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Over a dozen House Freedom crazies almost scuttled the Trump/Ryan cuts (for the super rich) yesterday when they began opposing a routine procedure in protest of all the deficit spending.

    Shine on, you crazy bastards diamonds.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Even the most dotarded clock is right twice a day.

  • Nounverb911
    • (((Aron)))

      BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

      Fuck them.

      • Shan

        Seriously. So much stupid. They deserve each other.

        • (((Aron)))

          As someone who revels — REVELS! — in his own hypocrisy, even I admit that is just too much.

          Kinder, kuche, kirche.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Nazi puns just aren’t Reich, Anne Frankly we just won’t stand for em’! Makes us Führerous.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        Oh, Goebbels soak your head!

      • Daniel

        I have a feeling these are goering to get worse.

        • Bill D. Burger

          I just hope they’re Hitlerious’!

          • From Russia with Love

            Well, it might help if you Wouldn’t Mengele the punchline.

          • Daniel

            [Stangled laughter]

          • PubOption

            It seems a reasonable attempt to me. You shouldn’t Speer him for it.

          • Querolous

            You know, I think Hess right!

      • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

        I don’t Wann’know about it and I sure don’t Wannsee it.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • YoBunnyBunny
    • Bobathonic

      I believe the traditional response is “boo fucking hoo”.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party joke goes [HERE]

    • Gayer Than Thou

      OK, but the joke is “I did NAZI this coming,” not “I did NAZI see this coming.” #pedant #jokekiller

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        My mind autocorrected that as I read it, so I didn’t notice until you pointed it out. You could say i did NAZI the error.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Ironically, correcting it kind of makes me into a grammar Nazi.

    • Persistent Demme

      Sorry, not sorry!
      (Loser assholes!)

  • Left Coast Tom

    NICE TIME! Jess Phoenix is a vulcanologist running for California’s 25th on a platform of bringing more science into politics.

    She seems pretty cool, and CA-25 went from Romney+2 to Clinton+7.

  • bupkus231

    Just ran into this, referenced at another source:

    How the Republicans Broke Congress

    bu Norm Ornstein and Thomas Mann, from the NYT’s Sunday Review section. Kinda a “followup” on their “thesis” about the “asymmetric polarization” in our political system ( i.e., Republicans are fucking evil idiots )

  • Baconzhurtzin’

    OK this is the day. This is the day that the president of my country can go a whole day without looking like a treasonous, thin skinned, creepy, sexual harassing, man baby.

    WHOSE WITH ME PEOPLE! TODAY IS THE DAY!

    • Left Coast Tom

      Somebody tranquilized him?

      • From Russia with Love

        Straight jacket.

      • Baconzhurtzin’

        You know I tell people all the time that Dubya loves Trump. Because now G.W. Bush doesn’t look like the worst president in the last 50 years

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Fingers crossed!

      • Baconzhurtzin’

        All right a positive thinker here.

    • cmd resistor

      Not much on the schedule today:
      schedule for Tuesday, December 5th:
      · Lunch with Republican Members of the Senate
      · Discussion with American business owners and their families
      · Congressional Ball with First Lady Melania Trump

      • GoutMachine

        Wish we could also add:
        – Perp walk

      • Daniel

        You know who else had one ball?

        • Baconzhurtzin’

          Jamie Lee Curtis?

        • Bobathonic

          Mr Eva Braun?

        • Non-Threatening Ron

          Tom Hanks?

        • puredog

          Desi Arnaz?

      • Baconzhurtzin’

        It still looks evil.

        But we aren’t doing not being evil today. Today is Tuesday this is “OH GOD PLEASE DON’T POST SOMETHING THAT MAKES MY COUNTRY LOOK DUMB” day.

        Thursdays are the “PLEASE GOD DON’T LET THEM DO SOMETHING EVIL” day.

        • puredog

          Tuesdays, Thursdays, and any other day ending in “y.”

          • Baconzhurtzin’

            Any day ending in a “Y” is….

            “I swear to God. By the end of the night Trump will rip off his face and…IT WAS ANDY KAUFMAN THE WHOLE TIME! (hey give baconz a smidgen of hope)

        • cmd resistor

          That was my concern, that he has a way lot of time on his hands today. Perhaps he dropped the phone in the toilet.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    So, you’re saying there are videos of Dustin Hoffman touching himself while in drag?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    From the article on Debbie Watson Gibson’s scrapbook of Moore memorabilia:

    The scrapbook also contained a photo of Gibson as a high school senior, and when she saw it, she said, she thought to herself, “That’s the age I was when I dated Roy Moore, because my braces were off.”

    Ew, just ew.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Heh, we have the same gross-out triggers, eh?

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        “I’m in Trig” — lol — for ever more will be for me: “I don’t want to fuck you.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        What in the ever-lovin’ actual fuck?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That’s about all I ever want to know about the Katfish Kabin.

      • Chyron HR

        Well, there you go, she had a GREAT time, what are you libtards complaining about?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I was going to say “if your girl/boyfriend has braces, probably wait a few years,” but I had adult orthodontia, so…

        • aureolaborealis

          How about: “If you are 30+ and your girl/boyfriend is 14 and has braces or doesn’t have braces, you should wait a few years.”

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Liddle’ Babby Donnie endorsed Moore. They look at some things the same way.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Victim of O’Reilly sexual harassment using her $32 million from Billo to sue him — hahahahahahah — cause Billo cannot keep his pie hole shut — who else has the diarrhea of the mouth syndrome? Who could that be?

  • FlownΩver

    “…barely a quarter of storm victims have received any aid from FEMA, with black and Hispanic people suffering the worst.”

    How unfortunate. [Where’s Tell Debbie from the Lampoon when it’s really needed?]

  • Nounverb911
    • wide_stance_hubby

      I dare say we did not need science to tell us that, but confirmation is nice.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance
    • Nounverb911

      Damn! I wanted to stop reading here: “The Senate GOP Accidentally Killed Some of Its Donors”

      • Ghenghis McCann

        The shock of losing their tax breaks might do it.

    • Marion in Savannah

      This bit alone is a classic worthy of Charlie Pierce:

      “But approaching major legislation like an Adderall-addled sophomore approaches an overdue term paper came with a minor drawback: It forced the party to pass a tax bill before they had time to read it.”

  • puredog

    “Mike Pence profile” linkie is borked.

    • Nounverb911

      Mike Pence is borked too, also.

      • FIXED!

        • Marion in Savannah

          You fixed Mike Pence? The nation owes you a debt of gratitude.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Or not…

          • Non-Threatening Ron

            In the psychological sense or in the veterinary sense?

          • Marion in Savannah

            BOT,K.

        • puredog

          I suppose now I have to read the goddamned thing. Thanks, Dominic!

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Lesbians are going to ‘cut the top of your head off like a pumpkin’? Silly lesbians, don’t they know Halloween is long past?

  • freakishlypersistent

    Forgot I was at twerk and squeeeeeeeeed too loud at baby, clumsy lions. Got some weird looks..

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Pro tip: do not adopt all four of them. I have a pair of Siberian tiger cubs and boy! Have they ever turned out to be a handful!

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        A handful? You must have HUGE hands.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Somebody in the Oval Office is soooooo jelly right now.

      • aureolaborealis

        Wait. Are you Siegfried or Roy?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Even if it’s an Australian MP proposing to his boyfriend from the floor of the Australian parliament on the occasion of Australia moving forward on same-sex marriage, I actually still have a little problem with big public proposals. They always seem a little creepy and narcissistic. It is also highly possible that, in this case, I am just a bitter jealous old queen. Indeed, it is likely.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Come sit by me?

    • GoutMachine

      Nah, I’m with you. I also hate big public proposals.

      • MynameisBlarney

        “No pressure love, but everyone is watching!”

        • GoutMachine

          I always secretly hope they say no.

          • MynameisBlarney

            HA!
            Me too, but I’m one those eternally single people that believes marriage is the number one reason for divorce.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Me too and I am married. lol

      • OneYieldRegular

        Walk out backwards so I’ll think you’re coming in.

    • rosenbomb

      I know someone who proposed to his girlfriend after finishing a 100 mile race. Is that proposal for her benefit, or is it intended to add to your ego after your athletic feat? Methinks the latter.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      I’m not a fan of public proposals. My former fiance pulled that on me and though I hoped to eventually marry him at the time, it was really uncomfortable and yeah, kinda narcissistic. We never made it down the aisle which was for the best.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I don’t like public proposals either, same reasons. In fact, I think proposing in front of an audience goes against the spirit of such a conversation.

    • Shan

      My ex did a big public display thing like that to me. I was horrified.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Emphasis on “ex.”

    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      I hate the pressure it puts on the other person. If they say no, they risk being the person who “broke the other person’s heart” on social media, because you know someone’s taping it.

    • grindstone

      My husband did it, but even though it was supposed to be a big secret, I figured it out beforehand, so I knew it was coming, and to be fair, I was gonna marry the big lug anyway. Glad every day I did.
      But yes, they are cringe-worthy, as a rule.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Not really. Agree. Hate show PDAs. Also too, when I got married in Ptown, there was no walking down the aisle shit for me. We had a big clambake party and over there in the corner, way over there, I got married

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      I always cringe a little at public proposals, because it’s always seemed a little like emotional blackmail, ie, the person proposed to might feel pressured to say “yes,” in order to not embarrass or humiliate the proposer.

    • Querolous

      Whoever chose the color scheme for their assembly hall must be a fan of 1950’s Detroit iron. That looks to be the exact same green as the interior of a ’57 Chevy.

    • Querolous

      I have seen dozens of these public proposals during games on TV. I have yet to see any but the most conventional of white couples.

  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Well I can’t really upfist that, can I?

    • MynameisBlarney

      That shit has to be fuckin stopped before it grows into the fuckin’ death squads.
      Because that IS what the fuck will happen.

      • Non-Threatening Ron

        I’d bet a cookie that that’s already built in to the structure.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • working on that, a lot worse than you think

    • Bill D. Burger
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      This is how it starts.

    • puredog

      What could possibly go wrong?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Been brewing for a while. Remember the Lion’s Guard at his rallies?

      [ After Trump supporters provoked a conflict with Sanders protesters and got a rally shut down in Chicago, his rabid followers took to Twitter to begin organizing a “militia” – the Lion’s Guard – to defend Trump supporters and rallies against “leftist agitators.” Calling themselves the “red caps” (in reference to Trump’s iconic Make America Hate Great Again red hats), the parallels to Adolf Hitler’s Stormtroopers (Sturmabteilung or SA or “Brownshirts”), which was created to protect Nazi rallies from protesters, are too many to ignore.

      Just take, for instance, this description of Hitler’s second recruitment rally:

      Some 130 people attended; there were hecklers, but Hitler’s military friends promptly ejected them by force, and the agitators “flew down the stairs with gashed heads.”]

      http://occupydemocrats.com/2016/03/14/trump-fans-just-created-brownshirts-protect-rallies-protesters/

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I wonder what Trump will call them since Brownshirts and Silver Shirts are already taken.

      • Johnatx

        Orangeshirts.

      • Daniel

        Blueshirts, Green shirts and black shirts also too.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Brownshorts? (Although that’s been used by P G Wodehouse.)

        • Daniel

          Black shorts.

      • Marion in Savannah

        It would be glorious if they decided to call themselves Red Caps. Without knowing who the red caps were way back when railroads were a thing.

      • Rags

        The shitstained white golfing pants?

        (Yes, I know the pic is a fake…..)

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Nounverb911

    In other sports news, Russia has announced it has won the 2018 World Cup….
    https://twitter.com/BBCSteveR/status/937964709474701312

    • Me not sure

      It must be the same “doping” that they used to win the election.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
  • Lance Thrustwell

    The Wonkagenda was bringing me a little bit down as usual, because reality, but then I read about brain-eating lesbians with buzzsaws, and I cheered right up.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The NRA is not only this country’s premiere terrorist organization, it’s also an organization of outright traitors.

    • BadKitty904

      Along with its wholly-owned subsidiary, the Republican Party.

    • Nounverb911
      • Mary

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        fj324d:
        ➽➽
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    • Persistent Demme

      Just after Dubya was “elected,” I attended a July 4th party that included Bill and Hillary. (Same NY town.)
      Bill told us that the real story of the election was the growing power of the NRA, and not to underestimate them.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    so, Cernovich is obsessively reading other people’s timelines 24/7?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I think it’s more likely he spends 24/7 obsessively crashing the yogurt truck to furry crush porn.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        How many times must I respond to your non-comments with “Hahaewwwwwwww!”

        AOT, K.

      • Johnatx

        Jesus. That made coffee come out of my nose. I had never before heard that phrase

      • Anne Of Green Bagels

        screaming “ACK!”

    • Hollandaise

      And selling outrage to people who are still upset that Swift was never punished for that whole baby-eating scandal.

      • Daniel

        This is why I like Katy Perry.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Golly, but Just Jarhead sure is a forgetful mofo. I’m sure Mueller will jog his memory.
    https://twitter.com/RVAwonk/status/938024587438247937?s=17

    • Non-Threatening Ron

      Exactly how many do-overs is he allowed?

      • Shan

        He’s white. Mustn’t quash any of his potential, yanno.

    • GoutMachine

      Huh. It’s almost like his not disclosing things is some sort of pattern of intent.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Jared should have been in prison months ago for all the crap he failed to include on his SF-86.

      • Rags

        Or at least had his fucking security clearance pulled.

        • Courser_Resistance

          I’m not entirely sure he ever got one, in the first place.

          • Arolpin

            He only has a temporary/provisional security clearance right now. The speculation is that the folks doing the security clearance investigation turned up a lot that would preclude granting a security clearance, and the obvious choice is to kick him out of the White House, but Drumpf is too stupid to do what a barely sentient slime mold would instinctively understand as the right thing.

    • chortlingdingo

      How the hell do you even get a loan for $285 million?

      • HandsOfFate

        In Russia, $285 million loan gets you.

      • aureolaborealis

        Ask for $1 billion?

        • chortlingdingo

          Boy, have I been doing things wrong.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Alex Jones is testing the potency of Weed again I see.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      I think he’s moved on to quality control for the crack manufacturers of America.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Lol, that makes a frighting amount of sense.

      • aureolaborealis

        Sounds more like bath salts or Love Boat.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Cannabis Spirochetes?

    • Ellie

      You mean his channeling of CANNIBAL LESBIANS?

  • Nounverb911
    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      I … don’t get it. I don’t even get what he’s trying to do.

      • Rags

        He thinks hitting down is funny. It’s an R thing.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Yeah, me either.

      • Daniel

        My guess is that he’s trying to ridicule people criticising the tax bill for all the little niche exemptions it includes, which are there at the explicit written request of lobbyists, by implying that they’re picking on things that aren’t really problems or that are so niche they can’t be said to matter.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You gonna borrow it from your daughter?

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        her suits will soon be orange

    • Tiffany de Houston

      What is that fat squirrel fuck even trying to say?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Is this like a gay joke or something? But also a joke about how the GOP tax bill is bad?

      • Erala Contratista

        Wondered that too, also, when I read “purple Santa suits made from velvet theater curtains”
        Huh?

    • Ellie

      Is he still touting cancer and diabetes cures?

    • Oblios_Cap

      What a maroon.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Who invited this asshole?

  • Rags

    Christmas Dinner at the Romneys’

    Mitt: So, how is my favorite niece, Ronna dear? Is the RNC chair job working out well for you?
    Ronna: Oh, OK I guess
    Mitt: I was just a little surprised that you decided to send money down to Alabama to help Roy Moore at the last minute, after the RNC originally stopped financing his campaign.
    Ronna: Yeah, kinda awkward.
    Mitt: Well, at least we got a Republican elected, even if he is a pedophile.
    Ronna: ……..
    Mitt: I guess you’re a big girl now, Ronna. Welcome to the club.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Fun fact(*): The Mormon term for Christmas is Kolob Day. They are deeply offended if you don’t call it that.

      (*) Not a fact. Reality is super boring sometimes.

      • Daniel

        Kolob Day is a Mormon candidate for senate though.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          I didn’t know Doris’s family were Mormons.

          • Querolous

            I think it’s Dennis’s side of the family

      • Rags

        But the magic underpants are totally real.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        So that’s where the Sex Pistols got the album title ‘Never Mind The Kolobs…’

      • DrBigHead

        Completely off topic, but there is a deep reservoir on the Kolob Terrace above Zion National Park. Caught the biggest brown trout I have ever seen.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain
  • rosenbomb

    This isn’t relevant to any story in particular, but it baffles me how white supremacists think white people are so awesome. Like, have they ever met a white family? Every white family I’ve ever known (including mine) has quite the mix of alcoholism, drug abuse, teenage pregnancy, child abuse, and serial adultery. But sure, we are the master race ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    • Ms.Moon

      Isn’t that just about everybody’s family?

      • rosenbomb

        Probably.

    • BigCSouthside

      Plus, unless you are Mediterranean not too compatible with the sun

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Hey Luke Skywalker, Superman, and Legolas are all pretty awesome…of course they aren’t “people” in the sense of being human beings from Earth…and they are also not real.

      I withdraw my examples.

    • Marceline

      That’s the funny thing isn’t it? These people call themselves the master race then point to people like Trump and Bannon as proof. If anything this administration shows just how truly mediocre rich white people are.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    We bisexuals will just lick your brains for a bit, never fear!

    • Daniel

      Is it…I’m…I am confused. Curious. Confused. I…if I had a couple of drinks in me I’d be far more eager to have my brain licked, but I can’t live a lie any more- I am interested.

    • Rick Hill

      Well…ok. I guess brains are ok….just as long as we don’t have to see that guy in the duck pj’s again

  • Tetman Callis

    Scruples are not dead among the GOP. Not at all! You’re reading the word wrong. It’s a contraction with the apostrophes omitted, and is short for “screw you peoples.”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The annual Utah ATV Rally To Fuck Up Native American Archeological Sites is going to be epic this year.

    • CripesAmighty
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Oooh, Redneck Mud Park. Somebody pinch me!

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Is it near Orgy Island? Because the crossover possibilities could really go either way.

          • dlemex

            Come on… Rednecks are boring in porn. They expect everything done for them. Of course there wouldn’t be any fake storyline so there is that.

          • aureolaborealis

            Not the ones where they’re tied up and forced to suck huge black dicks between floggings. Those exist right? I feel like there might be a market for that.

          • aureolaborealis

            If there’s mud on Orgy Island, somebody’s not planning their day well.

        • MynameisBlarney

          When I moved back to Florida this last time, my brother tried to get me to go to one these in central Fl.
          I asked him why in the actual fuck would he think I’d want to be stranded in the middle of East Bumfuck , Fl. with a bunch of mutants for an entire weekend.

          He was like, “muddin’! kuntry music…muddin!”

          I declined.

    • From Russia with Love

      It’s like Cliven Bundy is suddenly Secretary of the Interior.

  • Rick Hill
  • Latverian Diplomat

    Can someone please untie the laces to Milo’s magnetic boots, so he falls up into space? That’s how Australia works, right?

  • WilbyToad

    Someone had to speak up. Turns out, that someone was me
    by lapislzi / DU member
    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029924085

    Not everything takes mass action. Her story is a lesson to the masses though.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I read that yesterday, good stuff.

    • Erala Contratista

      Love this!
      Writes like a wonketeer, tho.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Johnatx

    So. Way OT. Phone croaked. Need new one. Samsung or IPhone?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      I have a fairly basic LG and it works well; but I don’t do anything specialized with it.

      • Impatient

        LG is one of the last cell phone makers that uses a replaceable battery. I kinda object to a mega-corp telling me I have to have a muti-hundred dollar phone, that will turn into a multi-hundred dollar paperweight, some midnight or such. Fuck Samsung. And fuck Apple. My LG G5 works just fine, thanks.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “In a galaxy far, far away.”

      https://media.giphy.com/media/l0MYyY4hDOBCs8ZFu/source.gif

      (*It’s been fixed. I just like that gif.)

    • freakishlypersistent

      Love my Samsung.

      • Johnatx

        They fixed the catch on fire thing, right?

    • puredog

      I have a reconditioned Samsung Galaxy s7 that I got for a relatively reasonable price which I like well. Downside, I had to get FOUR of them serially before I wound up with one that was not defective.

    • Lance Thrustwell
      • Johnatx

        Radio Shack also, too.

      • wait! what?

        That would be a Motorola phone.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Works great – just don’t hold it against your head for more than like five minutes a day. Also, it takes a very long time to download porn cat videos on that thing.

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      Love my Samsung

    • MynameisBlarney

      Nokia.
      They’re indestructible.

    • renegade500

      I love my S7. Love it! (Although my next device I might go for the Note, since it’s a bigger screen, and I use my “phone” pretty much as a little hand held computer and not so much as a phone.)

    • Phoenixdoglover

      I have an HTC M8. I love it, because it is stable, runs fast, and has good touch input. However the battery is not replaceable. Before that I had Samsungs and my wife has an S5, which has been solid. We are both due for an upgrade.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Love my S8, hate the bloatware. I’d go for a Pixel 2.

    • Snork Maiden

      I just went from years of owning various iPhones to an LG 3. Best move i ever made. 32 GB for $225

    • aureolaborealis

      iPhone is on my shit list right now, what with the nerfing of the ‘old’ phones brought about by the latest iOS update. But I don’t know if Android is any better.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • From Russia with Love

      The right wing seems firm in the belief that starving hillbillies and rednecks will NEVER turn on the politicians who just made their miserable lives immeasurably worse.

      • CripesAmighty

        Worked so far.

    • Spurning Beer

      I for one would be fine with stooping to the Republican level after the end of this administration, and fucking crucifying right-leaning institutions and enterprises (gun makers and sellers, candidate-endorsing churches, home schooling, fake “pregnancy counseling centers,” offshore banking, PACs, and Cadillac dealers).

      • WotsAllThisThen

        A tax on churches just moved to the top of my wish list.

        • nightmoth

          No home schooling for religious reasons whatsoever!!!

      • Snork Maiden

        Right there with ya. I am so over being the party of restraint.

  • Ms.Moon

    I just love the way the feds picked up Papadopoulos, simple, elegant and no fuss. People get pulled out of line at the airport all the time. No wonder nobody had any inkling what went on. They’re pros alright.

    • TundraGrifter

      And despite the Regressive lies we know the Mueller team is leakproof. From time to time some things have gotten out, but we don’t know the sources. George P. was cooperating for months and not a whisper about it emerged. Unlike the Trump Campaign and Administration, which leak like a grad student’s ’74 Gremlin.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        Very leakproof. It was delicious that the WH found out about the Flynn plea at the same time as the rest of us. Totally blindsided them. lolololol

      • shivaskeeper

        Quite possible they are strategic leaks by Mueller himself. Something the remind them they are still being watched. Something to keep the pressure on. People under constant pressure make mistakes.

        • TundraGrifter

          Quite possible but with the exception of the Friday night news of pending indictments that came down Monday morning (turned out to be Manafort and Gates) I don’t see any strategic leaks. And I’m not so sure about those.

          I don’t think Mr. Mueller wants to risk his investigation by leaking anything. And based on the performance of Mr. Trump’s team of T-ball bench warmers, Mr. Mueller doesn’t have to try anything cute. Blocking and tackling has produced results.

          • shivaskeeper

            That was the leak I was referencing. Other than that is has been quiet. Almost everything else has been PR updates and notifications. Trying to walk the line of transparency while still conducting the investigation.

          • TundraGrifter

            And that leak could well have come from the Manafort and/or Gates camps. When were they told to show up in court? Not Monday morning. So they knew on Friday.

        • aureolaborealis

          Pressure is good.

          The wicked flee when no man pursueth.

          Just watch to see who’s fleeing, and you know who to give bracelets for Christmas (or Chanukah).

      • miss_grundy

        Rachel Maddow said that Mueller has an office that is set up like a security office and that is why there aren’t any leaks.

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          It could also help that Meuller inspires respect and loyalty and only hired people who were competent and determined. He’s the perfect anti-Trump.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        The best part is how the Popodopolus shoe dropped right after Trump tweeted about how all these indictments were about stuff before the campaign started.

        • TundraGrifter

          I rather like the timing of Paul Manafort testifying before Congress one day and the FBI shows up on his doorstep the following morning – just to see if he was telling the truth. Then the next day Papadopoulos was arrested.

  • jesterpunk

    Surprised Dom didnt include this video. From last nights Colbert.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrexj7-E4gA

    • Impatient

      Just had to calm a friend, calling on his way to work, who was sorta spinning out over all the LATEST shit the tRump-Puce team is doing to destroy the world as we know it. I reminded him that this is the very long haul, and that we got a bit of a “good times” high round about last weekend, that could have set us up for a temporary comedown, and we have to be calm and carry on.

      I think this was the right and rational thing to say. And I feel like a liar and a fraud. ‘Cause I really want to yell, “To the ramparts! Don’t shoot ’til you see their pale, sallow jowls! And warm up that guillotiney thingy.”

  • Oblios_Cap

    Late last night Robert Mueller asked a judge to yank Paul Manafort’s bail deal after it was discovered that Manafort was writing an op-ed under a fake name with a sketchy Russian confidant aimed at sowing doubt against his involvement with Russian fuckery.

    I guess some people don’t think that rules apply to them.

    • SDGeoff3

      That’s why they’re all in a pickle today.

    • Impatient

      I guess Republicans don’t think that rules apply to them.

      Is that better?

  • renegade500

    I was talking to my coworker and I think Trump will come clean out of all of this. However, what I think could happen is that Kushner will be found to be dirty as hell (which I believe he is), and that Trump will try to protect him and his daughter and grandkids as much as possible, even possibly resigning. I may be wildly off base, but I can see Trump doing something like that.

    Another friend thinks Trump won’t have any problem throwing Kush under the bus, because he’s not blood.

    • Daniel

      I think you’re wildly off base. I don’t think Trump has any loyalty to his family members, he just demands it from them. He might try to protect Kushner for a little while, but not with any great effort and should it look like his support will take a hit for doing so (from his base) he’ll cut him loose.

      • renegade500

        I think if it were the sons I would agree completely with you. But he does seem to love that Ivanka. But I don’t think you’re wrong, either.

        • Daniel

          Yeah, he loves Ivanka but I don’t think he understands that she loves Kushner. I think that’s one link in the chain of emotion too much for his narcissistic brain to handle.

          • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

            Their marriage wasn’t love, it was a merger!

        • Rags

          I shudder at the phrase “he does seem to love that Ivanka.”

        • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

          That just means he’ll betray Ivanka last.

          • renegade500

            That I can see happening.

    • shivaskeeper

      Trump will throw blood under the bus. He would demand his own spawn take the fall for him. He has no morals about that at all. If it will save him he will turn on all of them in a heartbeat. Never doubt that.

      If he resigns it will follow the Nixon model. He’ll get out ahead of charges when and if there is no other choice. He will also be pardoned, just like Nixon. Many, of not most of his inner circle, including Kushner and possibly his own kids, will go to jail for various lengths of time. That is a big if though. It is entirely possible he won;t resign as he fells he has done nothing wrong and there is nothing to resign for. In that case the eventual impeachment plays out, he is found guilty in the Senate, removed from power, quite possibly taking Pence with him, criminally charged and then pardoned by whoever is next in line, Ryan, or further down the chain.

      • Impatient

        Wittle Donnie Tweetler will very much miss his daughter-wife, once Melodia escapes from his tiny hands, but our glorius Preznit will always manage to find another puss to grab.

        • bupkus231

          At his age and physical condition, I suspect he would only grab another Big Mac.

          • Impatient

            Well, until he loses ALL his monies, I guess he can at least have his burger specially formed and shaped.

      • aureolaborealis

        Yes. He’d already thrown family firmly under the bus before 2016. No reason to stop now.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      He’s probably jealous of Kushner and happy to see him go.

    • bbayliss

      Article I alleged in part:

      On June 17, 1972, and prior thereto, agents of the Committee for the Re-election of the President committed unlawful entry of the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee in Washington, District of Columbia, for the purpose of securing political intelligence. Subsequent thereto, Richard M. Nixon, using the powers of his high office, engaged personally and through his close subordinates and agents, in a course of conduct or plan designed to delay, impede, and obstruct the investigation of such illegal entry; to cover up, conceal and protect those responsible; and to conceal the existence and scope of other unlawful covert activities.[89]
      Article II alleged in part that Nixon:

      repeatedly engaged in conduct violating the constitutional rights of citizens, impairing the due and proper administration of justice and the conduct of lawful inquiries, or contravening the laws governing agencies of the executive branch and the purposed of these agencies.[89]
      Article III alleged in part that Nixon:

      failed without lawful cause or excuse to produce papers and things as directed by duly authorized subpoenas issued by the Committee on the Judiciary of the House of Representatives on April 11, 1974, May 15, 1974, May 30, 1974, and June 24, 1974, and willfully disobeyed such subpoenas

      • renegade500

        They could just scratch out the parts about Nixon and write in the new stuff about Trump. I mean, if it works for Tax bills, surely it can work for this.

    • SDGeoff3

      I’m going with the bus.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Always bet on the bus.

    • Beelzebubba

      Pardons don’t cost him anything, so he’ll be generous.

  • John Iwaniszek

    I thought the Walking Dead zombies were supposed to be the Republicans. I guess I’m glad I didn’t major in thee-a-tah.

  • Oblios_Cap

    One of the women who says she dated ALLEDGED pedophile Roy Moore when she was 17 has found MORE evidence in her old scrapbook, with handwritten notes from Moore.

    I guess the $10 in the Christmas card was Moore’s way of trying to buy sexytime.

    • Daniel

      How dare you imply that fine, Christian paedophile would pay for sex!

    • TundraGrifter

      Her feelings were hurt that “Judge” Moore said he didn’t know any of the women accusing him. Now his campaign says he knew this young lady and her family but they didn’t “date.” Speaking just for myself, all the women out there who were 17 when I signed their high school yearbooks in my mid-30’s are more than welcome to come forward now.

  • TundraGrifter

    “MORE documents have been turned over to Robert Mueller and his justice league of extraordinary investigators that show an NRA operative attempting to set up a meeting between the Trump campaign and Putin.”

    This is a very interesting article on the Russians and the NRA. I am not familiar with the website – but what I read sure makes sense.

    https://medium.com/point-of-decision/influence-campaign-russias-courtship-of-the-nra-and-trump-2c11e74281b4

  • Phoenixdoglover

    “Deep in the bowels of Congress and K street, Democratic strategists are plotting class warfare against Republicans who just can’t stop all their poor-fucking.”

    Considering this could be framed as essentially two classes, with 98% of the people in one of the classes, I have no objection to this “better late than never” approach by the Democrats.

    • nightmoth

      Talk about shutting the gate after the horses have gone—poor white people WANT poor black people to be fucked, and that’s what the GOP promises them. No matter how carefully it is explained, they will not believe Democrats who tell them they are voting against their own self-interests. They’ll blame everybody and everything except the GOP. They will not put themselves in the same class as blacks. Republicans understand this.

      • Truthiness2U

        Bigotry is a hellova drug.

        LBJ had too much faith in his fellow white people to think that only a generation of them would be lost to Dems with the signings of the CRA and VRA. This isn’t helped by Talk Radio, a complicit MSM and Fox.

        • nightmoth

          A few years ago I had a Democratic legislator tell me that the worst mistake the D. Party ever made was supporting civil rights. During the next election cycle he changed parties. He’s still in office.

    • aureolaborealis

      “Class self-defense” maybe?

  • WilbyToad

    Laura Ingraham compares baking cakes for same-sex couples to baking cakes for white supremacists

    Guest Ian Millhiser correctly points out white supremacists are not a protected class
    by MEDIA MATTERS STAFF
    https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/12/04/laura-ingraham-compares-baking-cakes-same-sex-couples-baking-cakes-white-supremacists/218742

    Now my coffee is triggered and screaming for cake. What was this story about again?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Are there any instances of christian bakers refusing to make cakes for white supremacists?

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
    • Doug Langley

      One simply has to suspend disbelief.

  • Tetman Callis

    “Law enforcement likes to get somebody’s attention as much as they can in a lawful way,” [defense attorney Thomas] Breen observed.

    Hence the enduring popularity of the flash-bang grenade, though they do prefer not to use those in airports if they don’t have to.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Hollandaise

      Can confirm.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I was sure I’d heard.

    • Sounds like a Roger Corman film. Or Zombie Dykes would be a good band name.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    If lesbians had to eat the brains of Alex Jones and his quivering brigades of basement warriors in order to survive, they wouldn’t last long.

  • Bitter Scribe

    OK, I don’t get this thing about Russian bots spamming against Net neutrality. Why do the Russians care if our Internet is fucked up?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      They were commenting that the repeal is just dandy, offsetting the comments you and I were making about the repeal being crap. I just wish that the internet had been declared a utility like water and power and gas before this asshat got appointed. Then more cities and states would have gotten into the delivery business.

      • I just wish Hillary Clinton was president.

    • ziggywiggy

      They care that we are fucked up in any way possible. I think they just want us to be fighting with each other, they’re firestarters hoping we burn ourselves to the ground.

    • Bigby

      It benefits Putin’s Russia if we are weaker, more ignorant, and more polarized (with ourselves and our allies). Imagine a US internet where we get ZERO info about the collapse of NATO but plenty of pro-Putin propaganda? Putin’s Russia dreams of a world where there is no USA; just kleptocrats, multi-nationals, oligarchs running every aspect of our lives. The Soviet Union of Kleptocapitalists. One way of sowing those seeds is throttling/censoring info against such plans. Even Thiel and Putin see eye to eye on this, though like all idiot anti-democratic shitshows, you often get Hitler-Stalin; pals until they ain’t pals while the rest of us suffer immensely.

    • phoenix00

      They want the US media to look like the Russian propaganda machine.

  • Impatient

    I wish to now officially submit my oh-so-important reactions, having plowed through Dom’s wonkagenda du jour.

    While I conclude that the lion cubs iz tres cute …

    I have decided that I wants to return, in my next life … because this one has been shitty sometimes … as a clownfish. I bet those blue little suckers never ONCE thought, how does this anemone fit with my personal philosophy? Or, what political label best describes me, in my later middle age? Or even, what tooth paste shall I buy, to brush my non-teeth in the morning that I don’t even know is morning. PLEASE (Hindu?) gawds. Let me come back as a clownfish?

  • bupkus231

    It’s clear someone ( or something ) has eaten Alex Jones’s brain – whether it was buzz saw wielding lesbians has yet to be proved….

    Personally, I think Alex Jones’s brain would be toxic, not just icky – but, there sure wouldn’t have been much of it

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I imagine it is similar in some ways to lobster roe

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Mad Pig Disease

  • IdiotsforPalin
  • Snork Maiden

    OT. Malcolm Nance ( on Stephanie Miller) said that the 45 administration is planning to announce tomorrow that they will be moving the US embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. So, Jared ‘s Middle East peace talks are going well.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Milo may not do well in Australia. The Ausies are a peaceful bunch, and would rather drink than fight. But don’t piss them off, especially after a couple of pints. Especially if you are American. Just saying.

    • aureolaborealis

      Can confirm. Did some early schooling there. When you hear “Loud-mouthed Yank!” you can be fairly certain someone is about to try to beat your ass. Sometimes that someone is the teacher.

  • TundraGrifter

    Whiskey Tango Foxtwat?

    From today’s financial news on Yahoo!

    Earlier this year, Parity Technologies seemingly lost about $150 million worth of Ethereum when a user of its wallet accidentally deleted a code library that made Parity’s wallets work. At least 1 million in ETH became frozen — and about $90 million of those were actually from Parity co-founder and Ethereum core developer Gavin Wood’s token sale for its Pokadot blockchain technology. The money may not be lost forever, though.

    Today at TechCrunch Disrupt Berlin, Woods and Parity CEO and co-founder Jutta Steiner retraced their story of what happened. “A library that governs the logic of the wallets that people use had a bug, which was due to a delicate refactoring at the time when the tools weren’t yet that developed,” Steiner said, arguing it’s a symptom of the technology still being young at the time. “We hadn’t figured out how to deal with bugs.”

    “Seemingly lost” is interesting on several levels. This reads to me like somebody’s imaginary money disappeared. How can you tell?

    • phoenix00

      If a code library gets deleted in the woods, would anyone hear it?

  • Impatient

    It occurs to me that the American people are, in a way, learning what it’s like to live in a war zone. Like living in Occupied France, and wondering, What are these crazy jack-booted, unfettered children gonna decide to do today? Who will the little fascist try and “with votes” today? Will they aim their “with votes” at me and mine next?

    We’re over a year, now, in which us oversensitive snowflakes have been pretty much OMG-ing in all but our most drunken moments. And we’re fast approaching a full year of Nazi occupation, that pretty much everyone COULD have noticed.

    Living in occupied territory, during what you know can be a cold or hot war at any moment, is a tad (or much more) unpleasant and stressful.

    Will we have a shell-shocked American populous (and other sentient beings around the globe) when this is all over?

    Sometimes, I kinda wish Obama had a bit more of a mean streak in him.

    (No libelz toward survivors of actual hot wars and such, but I’m just speculating that living through the FUCK Show … Fascist Uber Clown Kart Show … and coming out the other side … could qualify us for “the greatest generation, junior.” Whoop-fucking-eeee, if true.)

  • If you can stomach all the Christianist crap, this profile of Mike Pence might make you wonder if Pence is more evil and conniving — and ultimately worse than — Donald Trump.

    Worse than?
    No.
    Just as equally bad as?
    YES.

  • Mary

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    fj324d:
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  • SeeTrainOffTheRails

    MORE documents have been turned over to Robert Mueller and his justice league of extraordinary investigators that show an NRA operative attempting to set up a meeting between the Trump campaign and Putin.

    “Please be Dana Loesch … PLEASE BE DANA LOESCH …”

    (reads story)

    DAMN IT!

  • Marc Berrenson

    “THERE WILL BE A GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN ON SATURDAY…”

    Almost worth it if it also means Prez Shit For Brains also completely shuts down. Maybe he’ll view it as a holiday, put in his Big Mac order for the week, and head on down to More-A-Luncho.

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