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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today, but first, have some koala nice times.

The fight for the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) will continue today after Mitch McConnell found himself unable to con enough people into supporting massive amounts of poor-fucking.

Over the summer Trump called a number of Senators to kill the Trump-Russia investigations. While his White House denied it, Republicans chalked it up as Trump being A Idiot (again).

Paul Manafort has been granted bail and he’s promising to give Uncle Sam $11 million in fancy houses if he decides to run off to some Not American Eurotrash dictatorship.

A federal judge has suggested that Fusion GPS should turn over a list of its clients and vendors as part of the Trump-Russia investigation, and how much they paid, a move Fusion says could tank its business.

There’s a fervor to repeal the ACA’s individual mandate among congressional Republicans, and right now anything could happen.

Lindsey Graham is bitching about a scuttled provision in the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) that let people write off donations to college sportsball, and he’s promising to “fight for it.” REALLY? NOT THE REST OF IT? JUST THE SPORTSBALL? GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Paul Ryan’s plan to blame Democrats for the looming government shutdown was scuttled after a number of Republicans started to revolt against their leadership and its half-assed schemes.

There’s murmurs that Trump thinks a government shutdown might be a good thing because it would convince people that we need the border wall. Cool cool.

The Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) are also a windfall for oil and gas companies as there’s provisions to take a chainsaw to wind and solar tax credits.

In a speech, Jeff Sessions started screaming about recreational marijuana, and how DRUGS are ILLEGAL, regardless of what your state says. Won’t someone please think of the children?

House Republicans are getting ready to drop restrictions on concealed-carry rights in order to combat mass shootings, increase background checks, and some dumbass measure by Rep. Karen Handel that would defer “bump stocks” to the attorney general. Maybe they should read this story about the fallout of the Las Vegas massacre.

Trump is reportedly ready to “You’re Fired” REXXON and replace him with Mike Pompeo. I can’t imagine why.

The bleak and desolate island of sadness formerly known as Foggy Bottom is sending up signals that they’d begrudgingly take Mike Pompeo over REXXON now that they’ve seen the apathetic damage he’s done.

If Pompeo goes to State, the rumor mill on the Hill is that Tom Cotton will be rewarded for kissing so much ass with the top spot at the CIA.

Deep inside the fast-food filled halls of Trump’s White House, officials are considering a plan to privatize spec-ops missions, intel gathering, and propaganda with a sketchy company from Whitefish, Montana, made up of veterans from Iran-Contra, Iraq and Afghanistan.

Since there currently aren’t any real guidelines that dictate how taxpayer funds are used to settle sexual harassment claims, some members of Congress are joining Rep. Jackie Speier to institute more transparency and rules.

There’s been a number of attempts to change the way Congress deals with sexual harassment claims over the years, but they’ve fallen on deaf ears and limp dicks.

After everyone saw his dick pics, Texas Republican Rep. Joe Barton says he won’t run for reelection in 2018. Good riddance.

Blue dog Democrats are literally calling “bullshit” on Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand’s endorsement of a suburban Chicago primary opponent to Rep. Dan Lipinski — who opposes abortion rights and voted against the ACA — with one House rep. calling Gillibrand an opportunist. Meh.

The House is set to vote to lengthen the trial period for federal workers from one to two years, that way it’s easier for people to “You’re Fired” new civil service workers attempting to navigate bureaucracy, shitty bosses, ideologies, etc.

Betsy DeVos is listening to hate groups that run around bashing transgender bathroom policies.

Employees working in Kansas’s state-owned mental hospitals were barred from talking about the hospitals to legislators and the press. It’s a mad house!

A substitute teacher called the cops on a 6-year-old special needs student who couldn’t speak because he was, allegedly, sexually harassing her and being a “terrorist.”

Egypt announced that it will allow Russian military jets to be stored in their bases. Good thing REXXON is downsizing the State Department; a Near Eastern affairs secretary or an ambassador for Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Turkey, or Qatar might have noticed this big gaping hole.

The DOJ quietly accused three Chinese nationals of hacking after an anonymous blogger posted photos of the men in their military uniforms and evidence of the digital fingerprints stealing trade secrets and attacking Chinese dissidents.

During yesterday’s White House press briefing, Sarah Huckabee Sanders noted that Tom Bossert, a White House Homeland Security Advisor, is “keeping an eye” on Bitcoin. Why she noted that Homeland Security is watching it, and not the SEC, is still a mystery.

Francois Villeroy de Galhau, the governor of the Bank of France, is warning that you shouldn’t invest your Ameros in Bitcoin, calling it an irresponsible, volatile and speculative asset with no economic basis after its value nose dived (again).

So, here’s a SUPER weird story about a 36-year-old DC transit cop who used to cos-play as a Nazi, converted to Islam, prayed to Hitler and Saddam, and potentially lied to the FBI about trying to help someone whom he thought joined ISIS.

Recently obtained tax records show that Robert Mercer gave James O’Keefe $25,000 back in 2012 via the same shadow company used to funnel money to neo-Nazis and Breitbart.

New York AG Eric Schneiderman sent James O’Keefe a nastygram, demanding that O’Keefe change some tax documents to show that he’s a convicted criminal, or he’ll revoke their non-profit status.

After the Radio Television News Association asked why Walmart was selling a shirt that advocated murdering journalists on its website, they pulled it down and started sifting through barrels of cheap crap.

Reporter Ben Jacobs has sent a cease and desist letter to Rep. Greg Gianforte for denying that he lied to police about assaulting Jacobs at a campaign event. Good job, Ben.

Trump lit the national Christmas tree last night, but nobody was around to care except a handful of zealots.

Somebody leaked White House work orders and they show how much the president must hate living in public housing, with the need for roach spray, mouse traps, a new toilet seat for the Oval Office crapper, and an odd number of clogged toilets…

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert talked with fake Melon TrumpJames Corden reminded everyone about that time REXXON called Trump a fucking moronJimmy Kimmel talked about his Twitter fight with ALLEGED pedophile Roy MooreSeth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump’s tweets and Matt LauerJordan Klepper talked about the big gay globalist war on X-MasSarah Silverman had some talky time with Randy “Iron Stache” Bryce; and the The Daily Show talked about how Trump’s tweets have brought human slave traders out of hiding in Libya.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! BABY ELEPHANTS!

Freedom isn’t free, but Yr Wonkette is! Throw us some Ameros so things stay that way!

Follow Dominic on Twitter and send him adorable fuzzies!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Probably won’t solve the cockroach and vermin problem, though.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    “Merry Christmas from Great Britain to The Dotard” ___ Mary Witte

    https://twitter.com/MaryKWitte/status/936407633912827904

    • Trump is a bigley Christian. LOL!LOL!LOL!

      • Bill D. Burger

        And the same people who believed President Obama was a Muslim from Kenya believe The Fucking Moron is a Christian.
        “Ain’t that America….”

    • Daniel

      “Whatever our beliefs, everyone knows Christians are right.”

  • Rick Hill

    “..Mitch McConnell found himself unable to con enough people into supporting massive amounts of poor-fucking.”

    Be fair to republicans. They were actually cool with the poors and middle class fucking, they just had to have their own precious justifications stroked.

    • The best desc. I’ve read was, “it’s a sweet kiss to the donor class”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Anan Nana

      Wish it had ‘AGAIN’ tagged on there.

  • Rick Hill
    • Daniel

      We said that after 2016 too.

      • Rick Hill

        Thus, the final panel. We had the same type of toon then as well

    • BadKitty904

      I’d love to hear the answer, NRA/Congress…

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Yes, good question. And sheer irony that Not Americans in Not Americans have more civil protection (theoretically) that Actual Americans in Actually America. Which makes the “take a knee” protest during the anthem even more poignant.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Re: the 2017 to 2018.

      I can’t believe that I was actually looking forward to having 2016 over with and starting 2017. Oh boy, weren’t those the days…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    @dominicgwinn:disqus the ACA mandate link goes to NYT about #MeToo

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Holy poop kids, Flynn is pleading guilty of making false statements to the FBI!

    • Daniel

      D’oh! That’s how they got that covfefe boy Papadopoulos!

    • Suttree

      One down!

    • BadKitty904

      It would’ve certainly been good for a laugh watching him try to deny it…

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      What penalties does that carry?

      • Daniel

        Being demoted in memory to a coffee boy.

      • Granny Sprinkles

        According to FindLaw;

        18 U.S.C. § 1001 makes it a federal crime for anyone who “in any matter within the jurisdiction of the executive, legislative, or judicial branch of the Government of the United States, knowingly and willfully … makes any materially false, fictitious, or fraudulent statement or representation.”

        Flynn could face at least five years…

        • aureolaborealis

          I wonder what the law says about a military man doing something like that. I think they are supposed to be held to higher standards of conduct than us dirty civvies.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      I can’t wait to find out what he gave them!

      It’s probably our sacred duty to speculate!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        THE PEE TAPE!?!???!?!!!!

    • Crystalclear12

      Aww man, I’m not going to get any work done today, am I?

  • Bill D. Burger

    America wishes Trump seasons greetings:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP69-bDWkAAiTAE.jpg

  • Is it just me or does the Third lady always looks like she got her clothes at Goodwill?

  • Suttree

    Nazi Muslim cop is a Ron Paul supporter. I believe he has checked enough boxes to be called fucking batshit.

  • Nounverb911
    • Anan Nana

      Photo needs to be updated in a POST Trump world

      With Obama in the back of the bus…

      And that is EXACTLY where Trump wants to take us.

      Same with Sessions.

      MY that man is degenerate beyond comprehension – you may ask- do I mean Trump? or Sessions ?

      Take your pick.

    • Beelzebubba

      Did southerners used to be skinny? Those are single seats nowadays.

      • coozledad

        Cola and cigarettes diet.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Ha! I read that as coal and cigarettes diet.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Daniel

      Huckabee-Sanders will finally get her chance to fill Spicer’s shoes today!

      • Bill D. Burger

        “It wuz’ the biggest crowd ever to attend a National Tree Lighting Ceremony_______PERIOD!”

        • Daniel

          The chairs were not empty. Each one was filled with Christmas wishes. Love was in those seats, you lying media elites, now why don’t you report that and get out of here? You hear me! LOVE!!!

          • Msgr_MΩment

            They may or may not have been full of F-35s. See, we’ll never know because INVISIBLE.

    • BadKitty904

      ALL HOPE ABANDON, YE WHO ENTER HERE…

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      The cognitive disconnect is marvelous. His only measure of success is a popularity contest, which he has yet to lead in. But he thinks he’s doing great!

    • Indeniable Ron

      Looks to me like Two Scoops is a fifth columnist in the War On Christmas. I’ve seen more enthusiasm for a supermarket opening.

  • Tragic Typos

    Are the triggered MAGAtts still here white-hattin Sloberin’ Sarah?

  • memzilla Ω
    • Rick Hill

      Oh, another relatively minor infraction for someone as dick deep in shit as Flynn is. This gwinna be good!

      • Bobathonic

        Since this is Mueller’s side of the plea deal, it makes me wonder what goodies Flynn handed over.

        • SweetDeeKat

          They had to be huge for this one little felony.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I wanna hear the aria Flynn had to sing to get this kind of plea. It must have been fabulous.

        • Rick Hill

          I’m sayin’

        • mappo

          Hmmm, and they “interviewed” Jared right after he sang…

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Sweet.

    • Nounverb911

      Well Mueller certainly knows what to do with your daddy.
      https://twitter.com/mflynnJR/status/935696042577858565

    • GoutMachine

      Dear Babby Jeebus, For Christmas, GoutMachine would like a plea deal for Flynn that takes down Trumpy McDipshit. Thank you in advance.

    • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

      Someone reassure me this is the Big Deal Twitter says it is because it seem so small. :|

  • Rick Hill
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Rats. I was planning on stopping at Walmart today for my Rope, Tree, Journalist t-shirt and an Arbeit Macht Frei poster. I always miss out on the good sales.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Should have skipped Thanksgiving dinner to stand in line like a real Murican…

  • Major_Major_Major

    Flip, flip, Flynn-adelphia. Hooray!!!!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Expound, please.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        looks like Flynn is indeed singing like a canary.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          So, we might get indictments for Christmas? Well, in that case, MERRY CHRISTMAS!

      • Major_Major_Major

        Sorry on the delay, good thing Zippy had me covered. I got sucked into twittering with a MAGAbator who insists that this is a “fishing expedition”. Fuck that guym, and I am gonna laugh like a motherfucker at him around 1045.

        • puredog

          Is “guym” like an alternative pro-Semitic spelling?

          • Major_Major_Major

            Hahaha, I’d fix it, but then your awesome comment would lack context.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    In a speech, Jeff Sessions started screaming about recreational marijuana, and how DRUGS are ILLEGAL, regardless of what your state says. Won’t someone please think of the children?

    Schrodinger’s War on Drugs: We want to reduce people’s reliance on addictive opioids, but refuse to allow you to use a well-known analgesic which does not produce the same level of addiction.

    • Daniel

      That’s more Heisenberg’s Certainly Unprinciple than a Schrödinger’s catch.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Catch 420?

    • Rick Hill

      Or: Does he want a reason to lock up the blehs or does he sincerely belive drugs are destroying the country(even more than the war on the poor by the riches)

      • Indeniable Ron

        I’ll take Door Number One.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Someone needs to place Sessions back on the shelf.

    • Annie Jomes

      I want to know why Jeff Sessions hates veterans so much. That’s who I see all the damn time at the dispensary: veterans. Whom the VA is not helping.

      WHY YOU HATE VETS, KEEBLER FUCKFACE?

    • Beelzebubba

      Clearly, legal weed has turned the Netherlands into a hellhole, while all US ‘Merkins live in an Appalachian paradise.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Yeah, Amsterdam is so awful. I wish I was there right now.

    • whyieverdidit

      So much for “Staytes Rahts”…

  • BadKitty904

    Kden, Wonketteers, it’s a Friday AND the first of December. It may get ugly, but
    we can do this! And always remember, if it becomes too overwhelming, to…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_P9PU5FcMQ

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Can someone post PRONTO the names and phone numbers of the Senators most crucial to call? There was a post like that last night but I can’t find it.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I thought we were only supposed to contact our Senators because the rest don’t give a shit about someone who can’t vote for them?

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        It’s all voice messages at this point, so just don’t say where you’re from. This is national.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I thought I had to enter my zip code to leave an e-mail, but I may have been thinking of when I contacted my congress critter and not Pat Toomey

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Your own senators also don’t care if you’re registered on the other side.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I think that depends on whether or not they are up for re-election. 2018 will not be kind to republican senators if they continue to stand for unpopular legislation and stand with a very unpopular president.

  • GoutMachine

    Breaking (NYT): Flynn pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about contacts w/ Russian ambassador. …

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/01/us/politics/michael-flynn-guilty-russia-investigation.html

    EDIT: OK, read downthread dummy.

    • Reximus

      Merry Flynnmas, Donnie

    • Daniel

      On the first day of Trumpmas, Bob Mueller gave to me, a pater in thrall to Turkey.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    he’s promising to give Uncle Sam $11 million in fancy houses
    If I were the gubberment, I’d get a professional assessor out their before taking that deal.
    http://www.newscrab.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/international.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger

    Merry Christmas from Don & Mel and all the Trump Spawn:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP6_OAxX4AAyNPl.jpg

    • Indeniable Ron

      Needz moar razor wire.

    • PubOption

      Is that supposed to be the US border wall or the Israeli version?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Yes.

    • ImGoingBacon

      lol. love the graffiti. needs more ‘Go Home Yanqui’

    • Bright Bart

      you can’t see through it. someones getting a bag of drugs dropped on their head!

  • Relativicus

    Manafort definitely has money the US can’t touch, and if he flees, he’s not coming back anyway. Good deal, guys!

  • Nounverb911
  • If I had big money to bet, I’d bet it all that Manafort’s taking off to a private island he owns with no extradition treaty.

  • Rick Hill
    • P’jama Pahnts

      ..aaaaand stolen!

    • MynameisBlarney

      http://cheezburger.com/4134917/10-highly-educational-flat-earth-memes

      I tried to resist posting this, but after your post, I can’t not post it.

    • GoutMachine

      Is that what they think it looks like? If so, they’re seriously missing out on naming themselves. That’s a fuckin’ sombrero, amigos!

  • msanthropesmr

    Wow. The bank is busy this morning.

    • BosGrl

      Are animals acting strangely?

      • Daniel

        I saw a dog and cat house hunting earlier.

        • BosGrl

          What? Did you tell them we no longer allow that in the New ‘Murica?

        • MynameisBlarney

          I saw some shit that’d turn you white earlier.

  • Crystalclear12

    I am soooo behind this year!
    I haven’t even sent out my organic, responsibly sourced, recyclable War on Christmas cards yet!

  • Anan Nana

    DEAREST Dominic Gwinn

    WONDERFUL work on this :)

    That Koala video was BEYOND cathartic.

    Indeed we are not alone on this planet – somehow perhaps humanity can find it’s way back where religion doesn’t set up an artificial hierarchy placing humans as ‘Divide’ and all other life forms are simply on the menu or in the way.

    HAD to click the Sound of Music link there – lol WAS TOO MUCH

    My oh my – how I EVER came to find this site…

    Smart – Compassionate people… who want truth – smiles – and are not afraid to be as BLUNT as possible standing up to injustices.

    I’m a WONKER !

    hmm- maybe I need to pick a better word- somehow that one just seems a bad choice.

    WONKETTER ? heh

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      After the koala video is over and you get “others you might be interested in,” the “cutest baby meerkat” video was an option which I clicked on because I really, really needed a baby meerkat video. I was not disappointed.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Welcome!
      Wonketeer.
      Member of the Wonketariat.
      Feel free to make up your own; we award upvotes for cleverness and originality!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Post your credit card number and passwords and you’re in like….Flynn.

  • tehbaddr

    Gotta say, the Uptight Citizens Brigade in the Huckabee Sanders post are a persistent bunch!

    • Indeniable Ron

      They don’t have much to do until their moms finish washing their clothes, and their underwear usually has to go through the machine three times.

      • ImGoingBacon

        ‘…and their underwear cotton diaper usually has to go through the machine three times.’
        FTFY

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Snitches get stitches, yo. Oh, hi Gen. Flynn!

    • mardam422

      Everybody, now.
      Lock him up!!! Lock him up!!! Lock him up!!!

  • Nounverb911

    And how many times did you lie rudy?
    https://twitter.com/VoteMAGA/status/936602601898078208

    • BosGrl

      Is 39 just a number he pulled out of his ass or is it some kind of Illuminati thing?

      • From Russia with Love

        Now he’s getting a tattoo.
        Yeah he’s gettin’ ink done.
        He asked for a ’13’, but they drew a ’31’.
        Friends say he’s trying too hard
        And he’s not quite hip.
        But in his own mind
        He’s the dopest trip.

        • The Wanderer

          Great song.

      • Daniel

        39-
        2*3= 6
        2+3= 5
        5*6= 30
        30+2=32
        32+3= 35
        35+2= 37
        37+(2-3)= 36
        36+3= 39

        Don’t you see?!?!?!

        • BosGrl

          OHHHHHH, it’s all so clear now!

    • Daniel

      He’s trying to think of his future.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Feeling the nooses tightening around your own necks, eh, boys?

    • The Wanderer

      (tsks) Someone’s feeling a tad triggered.

    • TundraGrifter

      Yet AG Sessions is still a free man after endless lies told to Congress. And don’t get me started on Jared’s application for a Federal security clearance. Between him and his spouse there were hundreds of lies – each a felony.

    • bupkus231

      As it is, these guys can’t help distorting their own claims – the idea that Hillary “lied” to the FBI is based on the report that she answered questions with “I do not recall” or “I do not remember” 39 times ( in interviews about her Email server back in July 2016.

      How many fucking times did Rump say he did not recal ( despite claiming he had “the best memory” )? How many times did Jeff Sessions evade answering by claiming he did not remember? For that matter, ol’ Rudy has had such lapses many times himself.

      If they weren’t lying when they did that, then they have no right to claim Clinton was lying when she could not recall.

      It pisses me off that the rightwing is so gullible and stupid in their partisan hate that they eat this shit up when it’s a Democrat ( particularly a Clinton ), but ignore it when the very people making those claims are bigger, proven liars than the one they’re accusing.

      /rant

  • Indeniable Ron

    Koalas and baby elephants. What are we being softened up for?

    • Crystalclear12

      Stock up on the liquor.

      • Indeniable Ron

        I’m counting the seconds until the LCBO opens.

  • renegade500

    Is Christmas coming early? I am curious to know what kind of deal he’s made.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/01/politics/michael-flynn-charged/index.html

    • Covfefe

      He’s giving up Donald Fredeovich.

  • Covfefe

    ❤️ False statements to the FBI. A single count. Sweetheart deal if I ever heard of one. Mueller wants Trump. If he’s willing to give false statements to Micheal Flynn, he will give away anything to anyone. 💕

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Stand by for an incoherent tweetstorm from the Dotard in Chief

      • Covfefe

        Dotard in Chief maintaining twitter silence. I’d say he’s stunned.

        • From Russia with Love

          This might push him over the edge. Hopefully.

    • TundraGrifter

      Look at the other side. I thought Mr. Mueller was delaying cutting a deal with Gen. Flynn because he (Flynn) didn’t have much to offer. Based on the initial charge, he must have come in with a boatload of solid information.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Somebody good with photoshop PLEASE do Mike Flynn in a “queen for a day” outfit.

  • NastyBossetti

    What is the deal with Whitefish, MT?

    • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

      The high school sportsball team is named the Grifters. It’s a matter of civic pride.

      • TundraGrifter

        As well it should be!

    • Querolous

      I have only been to Whitefish twice to go skiing. It seemed to be a typical small ski town. the late Jim Nabors had an estate on the road to the ski area.

  • Bill D. Burger

    https://twitter.com/BreakandEnterTV/status/936600423363997697

    And tomorrow, Trump will shit his Christmas brick.
    bwwwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  • Anan Nana

    RExxon hahahahaha

  • OrdinaryJoe

    “LOCK HIM DA’FUCKING UP !!!!!”

  • wait! what?
  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Michael Flynn & Michael Flynn Jr. Twitter feeds are inactive this morning.
    Snowflakes.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Couple o’ cucks.

    • Bobathonic

      FBI custody is a Safe Space.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Somebody please tell the FBI not to Witless-Relocate them to this mommy recipeblog.

    • Moldy Weißwurst

      Hard to tweet with chrome bracelets on both wrists….

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Twin Peaks: Perp Walk With Me. Airs today, 10:30 EST

  • Sakonyachen

    Gee. Fusion GPS turning over their Tussian connections could tank their business you say? Maybe they should uuuuuh, I don’t know, MOVE TO RUSSIA???!!!!ellevvveeen!!!

    Love it or leave it sucks when it isn’t just a catch phrase to avoid having a legitimate argument against socialism, huh “job creators”?

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    Another east coast earthquake last night, the second in six years. Naturally my first assumption was nuclear strike.

    • BosGrl

      Yeah :(.

    • True Story: I was at work standing behind a counter with a bunch of knives surrounded by hanging swords during the first one.

      • BosGrl

        Uh. Glad you’re still with us!

      • h’mmm ever thought of changing your name to Damocles?

        • puredog

          You could even keep all your monogrammed shirts!

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        I was in Philadelphia’s city hall, which is notably one of the tallest buildings in the world without a steel skeleton. It’s just huge granite blocks stacked on top of each other. Not exactly designed to withstand an earthquake.

    • Beelzebubba

      Felt it pretty good in Brooklyn… had me wondering what the people upstairs were doing with all of their damned furniture.

  • Trevor Pyle

    it appears that Mike Flynn Jr.’s twitter account has been deleted. Isn’t THAT interesting…

    Jesus, let me tell you something. I think on some level, the Trump “There’s no Russian Collusion” gaslighting was starting to work on me a little bit. Part of me was starting to believe that I was insane, that there was nothing there, and that nothing could happen.

    I feel like a huge fucking burden has been lifted from me, and that I’m not fucking crazy.

    I know, we have a LONG way to go in this still, but today is a good day.

    • Nounverb911

      It’s still up.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, just because there is colussion doesn’t mean you aren’t craezy

      • T30024

        Oh, I’m fucking insane, but still..

    • The Wanderer

      Flynn fils didn’t die in a hail of gunfire following a police siege? What a shame.

    • wow. i never thought there wasn’t a HUGE pile o crime here.

      never for a second.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Whitefish, Montana. Hmm. Where have I heard of that place before?…

    • TundraGrifter

      Home of Black Star beer. It was a thing for a while – I rather liked it – and then it disappeared from around here.

    • The Librarian

      I know, right? “You don’t have to be skeevy to own a business in Whitefish, but it sure helps”

  • The Wanderer

    I just want to say that the line “Buttsecks forever and ever, amen” is one that never fails to make me smile.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Isn’t that a Randy Travis song?

      • The Wanderer

        I wish. It’d be the only Travis song I’d ever own.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump: “Find out what that horrible noise is out there. I can’t stand it! Stop it! Go find out.”

    Staffer: “We’ve discovered that is General Flynn singing.”

  • OrG

    Paul manafort getting bail seems like a bad idea.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I certainly hope they strongly admonished him to check in with the court as often as he can!

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Or there will be consequences!

    • TundraGrifter

      Where can he go?

      • Beelzebubba

        Moscow

        • TundraGrifter

          He can go – but he won’t come back vertical.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        They made him turn his 9 passports- that’s pretty standard.

        • TundraGrifter

          Eastern Europe and the former Soviet Union are out. Mr. Manafort’s friends over there would be all to happy to see him on their doorsteps.

      • OrG

        To prison?

  • Nounverb911
    • TundraGrifter

      Trying to save his son. His soul is already gone. There must be many more possible charges hanging over his head.

    • dlemex

      I think Mueller wants to get a statement of facts from Flynn as they cannot be pardoned away. So Flynn pleads and has to cooperate while the other shoes drop.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I feel like I’m going to need to know the answer to this: is it “pleaded” or “pled”?

    • pretty sure it’s pled.

      • Daniel

        Pleaded.

        • Reximus

          I think pled is incorrect but it is accepted even by the bar assoc.

          • Daniel

            I hold myself to a higher standard than a society of publicans.

            [sniffs haughtily, adjusts monocle.]

    • Daniel

      Pleaded.

      But USians do terrible things to the language as a matter of course.
      But they did give us the term “asshat” for which I always will be grateful.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Plaided.

        • Dead Men don’t Wear Plaid

          • PubOption

            There is too much adjusting of boobs in the news at the moment. Not much about adjusting dicks, though.

        • Daniel

          That’s Scottish law.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        It’s not just Americans, its American lawyers. Legalese is a real thing.

        And yes, the legalese is “pleaded.”

    • hidden mind powers

      ploned

    • Plod?

    • puredog

      “Why not both?” (Both.) (IAAL.)

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Imploded.

    • kilgoretrout

      Cried

    • Beautiful Soup

      according to an editor friend it’s pleaded AND pled AND plead (pronounced like pled!!!)

    • Beelzebubba

      Both are legit, but “pleaded” is what’s now recommended by most authorities.
      http://archives.cjr.org/resources/lc/pleadguilty.php

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Hopefully, Russian doesn’t have as many irregular verbs.

        • Daniel

          A lot of things they do are irregular though.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Though they do them regularly.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Angus King on MSNBC just now: “I have a new rule, by the way. This is King’s Rule. The faster a bill goes through, the worse it is… that’s one of the reasons I predict there’ll be a vote today, because the longer the days go on, more people learn how truly terrible this [tax] bill really is. They want a win and evidently don’t care who it hurts.”

  • TundraGrifter

    “Over the summer Trump called a number of Senators to kill the Trump-Russia investigations. While his White House denied it, Republicans chalked it up as Trump being A Idiot (again).”

    Lawrence O’Donnell made a very interesting comment on that last night. Were senior staff members – or any staff members at all – present when Mr. Trump made those calls.

    I hadn’t thought about it before, but it’s very important, as it is strong evidence of intent.

    Apparently – and here’s a shock! – Mr. Trump waited until he was alone.

  • jesterpunk

    So the government shutting down will convince people we need to build a wall?

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/4d/4dad2d006aec22cbee56d3f69e3e295f13152cd09ee59e545cb1dea22eca2a2c.jpg

  • yyyaz

    Does anypony else suspect that Ty Cobb was sneaked in to babysit Orange Foolius and to keep him cheery until the axe falls? IOW, to keep his tiny hands away from the button until he gets frog-marched out in handcuffs.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Yes. I have read a few articles that say Cobb is essentially lying to 45 to keep him occupied.

      • Arolpin

        Can you appeal an impeachment conviction due to inadequate counsel? That’s the only possible reason (other than incompetence and stupidity, so much fucking abject stupidity) that I can see for an attorney lying to a client. (Well, I guess the attorney could really, really hate the client, but I think you’re still supposed to work for them.)

        • Antonin Dvorak

          You know, I hadn’t even thought of that. The reports frame it as keeping him under control, but yeah, I suppose that could pose a problem down the line.

        • keinsignal

          IANAL, but impeachments and ordinary legal proceedings are sufficiently different that I do not think this would fly. The point of an impeachment isn’t to determine if the subject’s committed a crime so much as it is to declare them unfit for office. There is no court of appeals, and even if there were, “I hired a bunch of idiots” isn’t exactly the sort of argument you want to make in defense of your fitness to hold the presidency.

  • hidden mind powers

    ‘Go Fuck Yourself, Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ is currently getting spammed to hell.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I’m glad I loaded up on watching cute baby meerkats before I waded into that shit storm.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Somebody has a lot of time on their hands.

      • Indeniable Ron

        They’re out of clean socks.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Poor Evan got bombarded on Twitter and Facebook because he’s apparently a misogynist faggot who hates America.

  • Nounverb911
    • Timothy Watson

      Henry Hill libelz!

  • The Librarian

    Mr. Graham will fight for sportsball write offs, but not for the mortgage deduction? I guess I’ll have to move the family and pets to new quarters under the bleachers at my closest stadium.

    • BosGrl

      Move over. I’ll be joining you shortly.

      • The Librarian

        I’ll stake out a place for us.

    • ImGoingBacon

      well, you know, he’s all about the Cocks. Gamecocks, that is. Also too, allegedly.

      • Arolpin

        Well, there aren’t a lot of good sportsball teams in blue states. The Pac-12 has decent teams on occasion, but nothing like the SEC, Big10, Big12, which generally has the top teams in the reddest states.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Reward the boosters. Screw the students. Sounds like a lot of university presidents.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      That, but no tax credits for wind or solar or deducting SALT. Freakin’ ghouls, thems be.

      • The Librarian

        Solar is the enemy of “clean” coal doncha know.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Miss Lindsey sent me an email last night asking what I thought of her tax plan. I sent a scathing, yet humorous, email in return.

      • The Librarian

        I came to Wonkette, I saw your comment on that and I approved your message!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It was very satisfying. It also showed me that he’s getting a little uneasy over how unpopular this tax bill is. The hardcore wingnuts in SC hate him because as they say “he’s a little light in the loafers.” I think he’s trying to decide whether to go full wingnut or not.

          • The Librarian

            Whatever side serves his constituents, ooops, I mean himself best.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Tom Cotton the CIA. Christ on a cracker, just when you think it can’t get more fucked up, it does. I never saw so much ambition backed by so little intelligence in my life, and I work in corporate America. I wonder how that hasty, oddly-timed marriage is working out. Just makes me ashamed to be an Arkansan. The home of J. William Fulbright. And now this chicken necked fuck-wit.

    • From Russia with Love

      He will be too stupid to do much damage at the CIA.

      • Rick Hill

        He’d start using it the way trump used his office. To try to do all the petty skullduggery shit he wants to do. And run afoul of the law, quite quickly

        • From Russia with Love

          If he gets caught using the “Agency” for skulduggery inside the USA, he’ll end up keeping Flynn company in the big house.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        The Trump team motto: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in groups.

  • bubbuhh

    Trump is lying again. There are no Jesus dick pics. Verily, no measurements neither, not even in teh Secret Gospels. Ramen!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Immunity Mike? Got sum’ splainin’ to do.

    https://i.imgur.com/tJkvg8Z.gif

    • bbayliss

      No probably about it.

    • Jeff Rients

      Why on God’s green earth would an American general wear the flag pin of a foreign nation?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        It is shopped.

        • Jeff Rients

          Ah, thanks. I thought the world had gotten even stranger than it already is.

  • elviouslyqueer
  • bbayliss

    Former Trump Adviser Michael Flynn Charged In Special Counsel’s Russia Investigation

  • From Russia with Love
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Infrequentcontributor

    I love James Christian Kimmel this morning. That is all.

  • Belasaurius
    • The Wanderer

      Boom-chaka-laka-laka!

    • Beowoof14

      And it’s a single charge. I am sure there will be more if his cooperation falters.

  • Beowoof14

    Ah Good Morning all, Flynn will be in court soon on a charge of lying to the FBI, which means our Christmas Season is starting with a gift from Mueller.

    • Indeniable Ron

      I’ll leave out extra milk and cookies for him.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Dominic, if you’re reading this, theres a need for a clean-up in the Go Fuck Yourself thread. Big time.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      It appears that thread got disappeared? I’m going to go donate. Wonkette deserves some extra monies for making wingnuts’ heads go all splody.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Huh. It’s still showing for me. Bloody Disqus.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I got the broken one :(

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Disqus is like snowflakes. They’re all broken in different ways.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Looks like some Russian bot had two cups of coffee this morning!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Looks like the flying monkeys are in full blown panic mode this morning.

      ROFL, they’re at least smart enough to be freaked out by the Flynn bombshell

  • Bill D. Burger
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Mike Flynn? Never met him. You say he worked for my campaign and in the White House? He may have gone to McDonalds for me once, I can’t remember.”

    –Donald J. Trump; on Twitter in a few minutes, probably

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “Mike who?”

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Hung around the campaign. Never trusted him. Sneaked into the White House and I fired him. SAD.”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        “He’s a young kid! He just turned 60 and he probably didn’t know what he was doing. Also, I barely know the guy, I think he’s a friend of Bannon’s. Did Obama warn me that he was a Russian spy? Sure, but he was born in Kenya, so I didn’t know who to trust.”

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      “he was a low level volunteer”

  • Opiwan
    • ImGoingBacon

      Thank the gods something good replaced #eggplantfriday!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!

    …and his little dog (Mike Flynn Jr.), too!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Broken toilet seats, clogged plumbing and vermin? When do they start putting straw on the floors?

    • Bill D. Burger
      • kilgoretrout

        At the end of the corridor sits a judge. The judge does not smile. The judge does not wish a Merry Christmas.

      • Beowoof14

        I was thinking this guy sits at the end the corridor:
        “But suddenly the Mirror went altogether dark, as dark as if a hole had
        opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the
        black abyss there appeared a single Eye that slowly grew, until it
        filled nearly all the Mirror. So terrible was it that Frodo stood
        rooted, unable to cry out or to withdraw his gaze. The Eye was rimmed
        with fire, but was itself glazed, yellow as a cat’s, watchful and
        intent, and the black slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into
        nothing.”

    • bupkus231

      How do you tell the difference between the Rump family and admin and the real-life vermin? Don’t dare spray for cockroaches, lest half the admin dies….

  • Nounverb911

    Meanwhile, the NYTimes favorite fired Nazi’s former restaurant is getting some unwarranted attention:

    https://twitter.com/apurposefulwife/status/936584557549293576
    https://twitter.com/apurposefulwife/status/936588896342872064

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I watched the movie The Jerk. Does Wife with a Purpose mean what I think it means?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Ummm….he kinda slapped the label on himself, fyi.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Communists literally control the largest capitalist economy in the world? We’re clearly doing it wrong.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Former liberal” huh? Good riddance.

    • beingreleased

      Christian America: Where you can be fired for loving the wrong type of person but not for being a Nazi.

    • The Wanderer

      “Wife with a Purpose?” What, is her man aware that his chattel’s using Twitter and using words of more than one syllable? (tsks) This is what he gets for allowing her to buy shoes and vote, shame, shame, shame . . .
      (/sarcasm)

    • Indeniable Ron

      Would this be the country that put a bunch of fascists in office? They must be Communisting wrong.

    • bupkus231

      Well, so far there are 266 reviews posted for the restaurant at the TripAdvisor link she provided – and 233 give “excellent” ratings ( altho’ none appear to have been posted since this witch posted her twat )…

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    A trial period of two years for Federal workers is ridiculous. If someone needs to get ushered off of the island it’s clear way sooner than that. It’s intimidation and a way to cycle through as many employees as possible.

    • yyyaz

      Yep.

  • Interesting point about WH maintenance
    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/936337819731218437

    • Beowoof14

      And that’s just in the living quarters.

      • LucindathePook

        I was thinking Oval Office/West Wing.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hell, we already knew that.

    • The Wanderer

      That was the plot of the short-lived cartoon D.C. Critters, starring the vocal stylings of (among others) Bobcat Goldthwait. “The biggest infestation of rats since the Nixon Administration . . . “

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How many of them are transmitting to Moscow?

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Why does that cockroach have his head in the USB port?

        • The Wanderer

          It’s Pickle Rick!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Not to mention Rodents Of Unusual Size.

      • Oblios_Cap

        So …The White House is the Fire Swamp?

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Most definitely.

      • WomanInThePersistence
    • YoBunnyBunny

      No worries. Mueller’s Extermination Team will get rid of them.

  • Nounverb911
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Upvoting for Churchill, NOT Comey, who I still hate.

  • arglebargle

    Major troll outbreak on the Sarah Fuckabee post. All hands on dick deck.

    • Daniel

      There was a post on a right wing nutter’s blog about it, which was then linked to by a troll on Kos, and now here we all are.

      • jesterpunk

        Breitfart and the Daily Crier had still rise about it yesterday so did twitchy.

      • arglebargle

        Good. It’s nice to be able to occasionally tell them to fuck right off.

    • Johnatx

      Wow. They’re still at it? That post is like two days old, right?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        They’re a bit slow on the uptake.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      I’m happy they’re congregating in a safe space.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      It’s pretty astonishing really. Who are these people?

    • Cock Blockula

      Maybe Shy should set up a redirect on that page’s link to a bogus sandbox where they can fling their poo to their hearts’ content.

  • bubbuhh

    He “Elevated” The USA-GB Special Relationship
    Donald Trump’s ‘working visit’ to UK dropped as tensions with Theresa May grow over president’s far-Right retweets

    Diplomats? We don’t need no stinkin diplomats!
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/30/donald-trumps-working-visit-uk-dropped-tensions-theresa-may/

    • The Wanderer

      First US President since the Great War to be looked at askance by the Brits.

      • Oblios_Cap

        The war of 2018 has three of the same numbers in it as our last war with them.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Surra Huckster: “We hope this will be wrapped up soon. We think it will. It may be over by the holidays, certainly before the end of the year.”

    https://m.popkey.co/505b5e/Y9AVV.gif

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Fuck her.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Ewww….not even with a 10 foot pole or using someone else’s dick!

      • Oblios_Cap

        I wouldn’t.

    • Rick Hill

      Perhaps that’s because they will all be under indictment by year’s end

      • Bill D. Burger

        That was before Thanksgiving. Perhaps reality is setting in by now?

        • Indeniable Ron

          Reality? I guess there’s a first time for everything.

    • beingreleased

      They seem to want to have everyone in prison before ChristmaChirst*, so maybe she’s right for once.

      *http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/1449071921-20151203.png

  • Rick Hill

    Okay, feel good time. Donkey reunited with lifelong friend. I tell you, if I was a farmer, I wouldn’t have livestock, I’d have a bunch of animals with names.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9emxVod_xg

    • Sister Suffragette

      OMG that donkey is making the cutest sounds ever.

  • Reximus

    Oh my, bad day for the Mikes on Team Drump

    https://www.blumenthal.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/Pence%20letter.pdf

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I never cared much for either Mr. Hunt or Mr. Ock.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Tick tock, Mikey. Better call mother…

  • bbayliss

    Michael Flynn last July: “If I did a tenth of what [Hillary Clinton] did, I would be in jail”

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!

  • yyyaz

    Five years maximum for the count Flynn is going to plead to. Won’t get it, most likely, depending on his level of cooperation. But still is nice to think about.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      A year or two in the slammer, loss of rank and pension- eternal shame and not a chance in hell anyone will ever trust him enough to do any shady deals in the future. Seems like a fair exchange to help bring down the Dotard in Chief

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Probation is what he’ll get. Jail is for the little people.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Some nice time, Bernard Sanders reads from his award winning romance novle https://youtu.be/n2QbTJCdNfY

  • Oblios_Cap

    sketchy company from Whitefish, Montana,

    More of Zinke’s friends, I take it?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Same guys. Not in the power line business any more.

    • lowenufc

      Are they going to be as good at intel gathering and special ops as they were at running a power company? If so…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Moose and Squirrel?

  • Resistor Radio

    Wee elephant toddler so cuuuuuuute! Dawwwww, I’m having cute overload right now, and with sweet koala cuddles up top? You know what I like, y’all.

  • BigCSouthside

    He he he he he

    LOCK!

    HIM!

    UP!!!!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Bill D. Burger
    • YoBunnyBunny

      FoxNews is probably preparing a #BREAKINGNEWS1!!1!! segment on Target not separating the girl toys aisle from the boy toys aisle.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        “Coming up – why has Hillary Clinton not condemned Target’s toy aisles?”

    • ImGoingBacon

      lol and Crazy Eyes. Wait, hold on….Pennsatucky on line 1.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Can we finally do away with the myth that Senator Graham is somehow principled?

    • The Wanderer

      The (R) should be a dead giceaway.

    • Oblios_Cap

      But he’s a confirmed bachelor!

      • The Wanderer

        (First Pepperpot): “It’s a shame he never married.”
        (Second Pepperpot): “He’s a bachelor!”
        (First Pepperpot): “Ooh, I guess that explains it!”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      fuck yes

    • elviouslyqueer

      Ditto John McCain.

    • cmd resistor

      He had my last chance with me a few shitty moves ago.

    • Rick Hill

      I thought we established that for anyone who has an r after their name, at this point

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “I think he’s a kook. Oh wait, did I really say that?”

  • memzilla Ω

    Because Flynn is only pleading guilty to one charge, his new nickname should be “IHoP,” because it looks like he flipped like a fucking pancake.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The one with the Martha Stewart sentence.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      His new nickname is ‘Snitch’.

  • beingreleased
  • Reximus
  • Oblios_Cap

    There’s murmurs that Trump thinks a government shutdown might be a good thing because it would convince people that we need the border wall.

    Like most things that Trump thinks, that makes absolutely no sense.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      A war with North Korea might be a good thing because it would convince people that we need a tax cut for the rich.

      • Indeniable Ron

        I know that’s what I’d be discussing with the other people in the bomb shelter.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    From the White House to the Monkey House in one year.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Less than one year, actually.

  • Indeniable Ron

    Think they’re expecting Manafort to run? If he does I think the whole crowd will sing like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Did they intentionally give him the opportunity ?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “He’ll probably go directly to his secret stash. Put a tail on him.”

        • Msgr_MΩment

          I hope they still have a FISA on him.

      • Crystalclear12

        Or was a he good boy and earned some freedom?

      • Indeniable Ron

        Exactly. Feels like it could be more 11-dimension chess.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Nounverb911

    Hope the Flynn story doesn’t distract from the fact that unemployment numbers are up in the rust belt….

    https://twitter.com/WestWingReport/status/936587808344551424

  • MynameisBlarney

    Is it just me, or does Melania have that “I can’t fucking wait until you drop dead or are thrown the fuck under the jail, you sick, tangerine fuck!” look in her eyes?

  • Indeniable Ron

    Be fair to Miss Lindsey. After all, college sportsball is America’s true religion.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Well that certainly makes me an atheist, then.

      • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

        Google “hot college rugby player pictures”, and you will be born again.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Instead of concocting new ways to blame Demonrats for a government shutdown, why not not shut the government down?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    BRB, need to measure my patio to see if there’s room for some eucalyptus trees.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The baby hippos are not going to like this.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        It’s the Siberian tiger cubs I’m worried about. It turns out they don’t really understand obedience training.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          You might enroll them at PetSmart. I’ve heard they have a good program.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            No, release them at Trump U. Let them figure it out.

          • Daniel

            Then we wrap them up in a carpet and throw them off a bridge!

        • Daniel

          Why do you think they were in Siberia in the first place?

      • Daniel

        They prefer to make their nests in pines.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Don’t give away our secrets.

          • Daniel

            I saw a flock of hippos this morning, heading south for the winter. Luckily my car was not parked under their flight path, but my umbrella is ruined.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          That’s why they paint their toenails green?

        • Indeniable Ron
          • Gayer Than Thou

            I WANT A HOUSE HIPPO!

    • Left Coast Tom

      Careful…those things go up in flames like crazy, they’re pretty much a living torch.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Eucalyptus, long time.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I have one next to mine. They are really messy. They give off a lot of pollen if you have allergies.

    • Indeniable Ron

      I’m told you need to put some didgeridoo music on loop as well.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        HOA rules do not explicitly prohibit didgeridoo music, so I’m good!

  • Nounverb911

    Wow, Fox is actually covering this…
    https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/936608751121059840

    • The Wanderer

      Ty Cobb’s too busy pounding down Everclear smoothies to comment right now.

    • aureolaborealis

      inb4 chyron reads: “Obama appointee Flynn …”

  • Oblios_Cap

    Peter Smith, an elderly GOP operative who hunted for Clinton’s emails during the campaign and since committed suicide.

    Russian hemlock?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Two great lessons to learn:
      Never start a land war in Asia.
      Never cross the Clintons.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • The Wanderer

      See this guy? Fuck this guy.

      • bubbuhh

        Not even with Melania’s dick.

        • The Wanderer

          And, once again, the International Women’s Day scene from Deadpool emerges from the back of my mind.

    • Gosala

      “How do you make America great again? You tell Donald Trump to go to hell.”

      You tell ’em, Missy!

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I want the Markle sparkle!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        All you have to do is flee Trump’s America. Marrying a prince is optional.

    • Covfefe

      What’s the big? Britain has an extradition treaty with the U.S.

  • Roni Raven, Sweet Lump

    On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
    Michael Flynn pleading guilteeeeee

  • bubbuhh

    Still lotz uv ticketz available for teh Trump Tree Lightin. No word on discounts.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I wonder who’s in charge of sitting on Donnie and keeping him away from his phone this morning?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Oh gad’….I pity the fool who tries!

      https://media.giphy.com/media/gRCzY79AQj0gU/giphy.gif

      • Resistor Radio

        Giggles!

    • puredog

      Wait for it: “The finest public servant I have ever known. . . .”

    • Resistor Radio

      I just spent way too long looking at wrestling hold gifs.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Fucking treasonous, lying piece of shit.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      schaden with the freude!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yeah? Well, guess what?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        More like 10:1 than 1:10.
        Ah, who am I kidding? 10^100:0
        /google it

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I was told there would be no math.

        • Indeniable Ron

          I do so love math nerd jokes.

        • aureolaborealis

          Why? You already googoled it.

    • Cosmic Owl

      He may yet prove himself right about who will REALLY be locked up.

    • CeeQ

      Flynn honey – when you’re right, you’re right! Go on. Go to jail. Dickhead.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Donald, Jr.: “SORRY LOSER LIBS, BUT THIS WHOLE FLYNN THING IS A NOTHINGBURGER—(where the fuck did the cleaning ladies put my hair gel?)—SO, UH, DON’T GET YOUR HOPES UP, LOSERS!!” [continues packing suitcase; dry heaves; glances around for TRUMP 45 gold-plated commemorative pistol which isn’t allowed on airplanes anyways]

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    “Not all sportsball. Just Greco-Roman wrestling programs”
    — Lindsey Graham

    • Gayer Than Thou

      He has my full support.

    • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

      “Well, and wrestling. And definitely rugby. And probably men’s diving.”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Jail them. All of them. Especially Trump.

    https://twitter.com/matthewamiller/status/936611297436819463

    • BadKitty904

      The Gang That Couldn’t Commit Treason Straight…

      • janecita

        Stupid Watergate.

      • Oblios_Cap

        “Treasoning For Dummies”

  • FlownΩver

    “…Why she noted that Homeland Security is watching it, and not the SEC, is still a mystery.”
    Not when you remember that President Nut has filled the SEC with end-stage narcoleptics. In those rare cases where the Nuthouse realizes anything could possibly become a problem, it’s classified as something to fear. Bigly.

  • Nounverb911
    • bubbuhh

      Administrations don’t give out security clearances. Government agencies do. If Trump needed a security clearance to be Preznit, he wouldn’t do any better than Kushner has.

    • Oblios_Cap

      So it’s not your fault that you hired him. Because nothing is your fault.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And then Obama fired him, you flaming asshole.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Tomorrow morning as Flynn enters the courthouse:
    “Stand still MIke. I want this one for my wallet.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP99YnsVQAA2Ja_.jpg

    • Resistor Radio

      I hope she’s having a nice mimosa right now.

      • janecita

        While sitting by the river.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          In a Snuggie.

          • Margaret

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            fd343d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineFactoryEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fd343lhhh

    • Treg Brown
    • ArgieBargie

      “Who’s locked up now, asshole?”

    • Blackest Noobs

      it is hilarious the guy who started the juvenile chant of lock her up is the one that’s heading to be LOCKED UP unless he turns state evidence and turn on his boss, Donnie Trump.

      their incompetence is finally catching up to them. it wouldve been sooner but they’re white guys, so you know, benefit of being a fucking white guy.

    • CeeQ

      Hahahaha best news today.

  • dlemex

    I predict that Fux will spend the day claiming that the Christmas Tree photo was taken before the event started and then bring in experts on crowd sizes…all day long.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      What about the size of the tree? This one is bound to be the bigliest according to Trump.

      • dlemex

        And further proof of the War on Xmas.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      It appears to me that there was more people taking pictures of the tiny crowd than there was people actually in the crowd.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Or that it was taken after people had begun to leave — based on the sky is brighter in the Obama pic vs. being more dark in the DOTUS pic.

      Or is it just darker in general that close to Idiot-Mordor?

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    What The Fuck:

    Walmart stops selling shirt encouraging murder of journalists after journalists complain: https://t.co/3Ty13XA68m pic.twitter.com/nlmLvFBofP— The Hill (@thehill) December 1, 2017

    • jesterpunk

      Why the hell would anyone think that shirt is a good idea to sell anywhere?

    • Nounverb911
      • janecita

        Yes, because lynching is an awesome activity.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          ‘Lynching: Not hate, it’s heritage.’

      • yyyaz

        Damn!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Kurt Schilling, another bankrupteer.

      • sosuume

        Walmart was selling them until they got a complaint from journalists. WTF? They thought no one would notice??

    • Indeniable Ron

      That’s moronic even for Walmart. What were they thinking?

      • Edith Prickly

        Their website sells products from outside vendors. Maybe they’ll vet them a little more carefully after this.

    • Donna Mueller

      rope-tree-waltons-just sayin’

    • YoBunnyBunny

      This is already been said, but I just want to do my bit:

      Who in the everloving fuck gave the okay for this??? This isn’t even about politics or “political correctness”. What in the everloving FUCK, Walmart????

      I wonder what other shirts they had in this series:
      “Gun. Shovel. Ex-Wife.”
      “Knife. Ski mask. Jogger.”
      hur hur hur

      Seriously… what the fuck?

  • Nounverb911
  • janecita

    The Flynn news put me in a great mood, I might even bake a pie after work.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It makes me want to bake, too. I’m thinking I’m going to make these: https://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/soft-ginger-molasses-cookies-and-ginger-syrup-recipe

      • janecita

        Those look awesome, I just pinned it. Thanks:-)

      • YoBunnyBunny

        ahhh… I made some ginger molasses cookies for Turkey Day. I made a batch the Tuesday before, and quickly realized that I’d eat them all before Turkey Day.

        I like to put cayenne pepper in mine for a tingly little kick.

        • ariel_gee_398

          I use about triple the spices, plus crystallized ginger for extra kick. I just love that recipe because it’s super simple – mix everything in order rather than dry and wet then combining – and because if you follow the recipe and pull them out after ten minutes, they stay chewy for days. If they stay around that long…

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        You know, I never was a big molasses fan, but now that I live in a place where you can’t get it, I actually miss that flavor in cookies. In other words, I’m jealous.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I’m so happy that I have the day off to enjoy the schadenfreude.

  • Reximus

    What goes around, comes around. “if I did a tenth of what she did, I’d be in jail right now!” – Moscow Mike, July 18, 2016.

    • Indeniable Ron

      If he’d done a tenth of what she did, he would have been a considerably better person.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    I hope someone finds and posts Flynns mugshot.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    “the barista at Starbucks knows Flynn better than we do.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Looks like she heard the news:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP99JqGX4AAmamX.jpg

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      Which means that the countdown clock is starting.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/ZdT2zDh3Bvnkk/giphy.gif

    • Oblios_Cap

      We’ll see what he says after lunch with Donnie. I’m thinking it’ll be Big Macs, fries, and fried apple pies on the menu.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Gone in a week

  • Impatient

    Just want to announce, nay shout to the four winds, that I actually made it through Dom’s Wonkagenda … in one pass, and before noon! (Where iz my gold starz?)

    Have I become a stronger, more optimistic person, since last week? Not a fucking chance. We oldz-ers don’t change fast … if at all. Could it be a hint of GOOD TIMES? I’m a just waitin’ for that Doonesbury cartoon scene, with a ray of sunlight peeking through the clouds over our lovely, run-down White House. And I’m starting to believe that it WILL happen.

    In the meantime, fuck Karen Tool-Handle, and Bobby Mercer, and … and … AOT, K! All the way up … sideways … with sharp, non-autoclaved votes!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • YoBunnyBunny

      All together now: BUT HER EMAILS!!!!!!1!1111!!!!111!11!

    • Impatient

      ^This^

      To every cocksucker, of every stripe and walk of life, who has enabled this yuuuge and treasonous threat to, well, to everything! You are all complicit with traitors! While I gather our gubmint had to work on a case against the Rosenbergs (gots to go reads more historiez), this round, involving SCORES of traitors, is almost too obvious for a trial.

      One thing I’ve been constant on … is that we need the figurative OR literal … guillotine — fast, certain, and almost unstoppable. After fair trial, of course.

      • puredog

        On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution the revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the
        guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
        The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.
        Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly
        raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, “Hey, I see what your problem is …”

        • Impatient

          I was having a hard time picking my Laugh of the Day award … FWIW … but this is great. Thank you! (And yeah, engineers. They really can’t stop themselves, right? — Don’t mean no libelz. My dad was an engineer. Always ‘fixing’ things.)

      • Gayer Than Thou

        OK, but some of all of my best friends are cocksuckers.

        • aureolaborealis

          True. Some of the best people are cocksuckers.

  • Nounverb911
    • Crank Tango

      As if immunity is a side salad you just get.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Not if he wants Sonny to go to prison, too.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    That’s a very generous deal that Mueller is giving to Flynn. Which means Flynn has got the goods on a much bigger fish in this here pond.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s almost shockingly lenient. Weren’t Jared and Ivanka in Flynn’s corner?

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        He must be giving up the goods on a lot of people.

    • Resistor Radio
    • Donna Mueller

      wonder how much mike flynns life is worth right now? i wonder if he will feel safer in federal custody???

    • bbayliss

      Does this preclude additional charges?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        There’s probably language in there that the plea is contingent upon “full cooperation”.

  • Michael R
    • Donna Mueller

      looks like the inauguration.

  • GoutMachine

    Regarding that Christmas tree lighting, here’s another compare/contrast between an Obama crowd and a Trump not-crowd to really get under OrangeFuhrer’s skin:

    https://twitter.com/JeremyDDickey/status/936379603651883008

    • Oblios_Cap

      Obama’s is bigger.

    • cheetojeebus

      Feeling sorry for the folks who had to set out all those chairs. One of the things doing shit jobs that can make it sorta ok is satisfaction that you’ve done something to make things better. That digging that hole was needed. Put out literally tons of chairs and no one uses them? Fuuuuuuccckk.

      • Annie Jomes

        I’m hoping that some of them were thinking “Sure, I’ll set out your stupid chairs, and then I will laugh my ass off when no one sits in them.”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
  • ariel_gee_398

    In case it hasn’t been pointed out, the statements Flynn is accused of lying about were statements made to the Russian ambassador. Hello, FISA warrant.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Ooh, I like the way you think.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Someone should ask Sarah Huckabee Sanders if this is still true "Donald Trump 'wants to bring Michael Flynn back to the White House'" https://t.co/mPZ9EEifmd— Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) December 1, 2017

    • ariel_gee_398

      I didn’t know they do WH tours for federal inmates. That’s a nice touch.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Say, you know who else lives in Whitefish? Curious coinkidink, ain’t that?
    https://twitter.com/RVAwonk/status/936377496878149634?s=17

  • Nounverb911
    • Bobathonic

      Why don’t you give him a pardon, cheetoman?

      • Bill D. Burger

        I seen two pundits saying they’ve heard that Cheetolini has asked what would happen if he did?
        He’s THAT stupid! ____ So it’s possible!

      • TundraGrifter

        Number One – Gen. Flynn didn’t think that was going to happen. He probably doesn’t trust Mr. Trump. After all, DJT has thrown far too many other people under the bus.

        Number Two – Mr. Mueller is probably keeping back charges – Federal and state. If the President pardons Flynn for this single charge, he’ll lower the boom with others.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      English as a second language.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Does anybody know what his first language is? I used to thing Gibberish, but I’m not sure now.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Still think Democrats are running this, huh?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Posting this and similar memes all over rightie sites. Waiting to get banned! rotfl ___ It really stirs up the goobers.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP99itpV4AA5I-H.jpg

    • Jenny

      Hell I got banned from Raw Story for less!

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        I got banned from RS for trolling trolls. They told me I could come back if I stopped. I wasn’t having any of that and told them they should get a new hashtag… #TrollLivesMatter.

        Needless to say, that didn’t go over well with them.

        • Jenny

          Is basically what I got banned for. Sorry, but internet is for trolls of all kinds!

          • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

            The thing is, if I was following them to the websites they usually post at and stalking them, I could see getting banned from there, but I was only stepping in for those who couldn’t defend themselves well against the trolls and helping them out.

            Go figure.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      They can’t take a joke? I’m shocked……

    • hidden mind powers
      • miss_grundy

        I hope she has an extra glass of chardonnay tonight to celebrate!

    • aureolaborealis

      I bet you could get perma-banned from r/the_donald by simply asking if there’s anything big in the news today.

  • Me not sure

    🎶”On the first day of Flynnsmas Mueller gave to me
    A fat juicy guilty plea.”🎵

  • Nounverb911
    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      That tweet was deleted. Anyone have a screenshot?

  • Nounverb911
  • renegade500

    I love baby elephants! They are the cutest things evar! (I loved baby squirting mom in the pool.)

  • Bill D. Burger

    Gaad’ how can they stop Tweetler from unleashing a shitstorm of tweets?

    ~waiting….waiting~
    rotfl

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/936606337986949121

    • GoutMachine

      Number of Obama staffers charged with a crime: 0.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Over 8 years, compared to 4 in less than one year.

        • GoutMachine

          Trump: We win!

    • bupkus231

      …and two of those have admitted guilt by pleading guilty to the charges.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      Turds of a feather…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Too bad she isn’t joining Flynn.

      • Impatient

        Yet

  • Jackie Jackstein FTW

    HAPPY DECEMBER EVERYBODY!

    Today is my wife’s birthday. I’m taking her out for Italian tonight. However, all my efforts are overshadowed by the birthday present Mueller got her. Nothing says “happy birthday” like a guilty plea and a good flip. Great day so far! Needed this after two weeks straight of shit.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      My birfday is in two weeks, and I want a pony, a Roy Moore loss, and a shittonne of Trumpys headed to jail. I don’t think that’s asking too much.

      • Jackie Jackstein FTW

        I like the way you think.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “… and so that’s why I didn’t get you diamonds for your birthday, because what could top Flynn’s indictment? Right?”

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Here’s a Thing – Roy Moore (R-Pervert) on how pre-kindergarten education is linked to Hitler and Stalin…

    Phillip Tutor: Roy Moore’s Fanatical Beef with Pre-K
    https://www.annistonstar.com/columnists/phillip_tutor/phillip-tutor-roy-moore-s-fanatical-beef-with-pre-k/article_82158012-d62a-11e7-b00e-d7932f6d5b0f.html

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      It’s because Pre-K is when they start warning children about “Stranger Danger.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      Teaching young folk to think before brainwashing them with religion BAD!

    • Daniel

      He doesn’t like children learning. Gives them big ideas. Like how to say “no”.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      He’s a real bronze age man, isn’t he.

      • Querolous

        Neolithic.

  • Nounverb911
    • Reximus

      the best thing ever

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Beautiful.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Speaking of the song, Amazon prime has all the James Bond movies, so I think I have a binge-watch in my future.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • yyyaz

    Now doing the perp walk!

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • weejee

    With Flynn’s plea we’re…

  • Belasaurius

    is it wrong of me to hope that Flynn is in tears when he goes to court?

    • Daniel

      I want him in tears and with big, visible strings of snot like a crying toddler.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I’m hoping for pants-soiling action, and if that’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I want to see his dimwitted son crawling behind him, clutching at the hem of his pants.

      • GoutMachine

        Yeah, fuck Flynn Fils and his Pizzagate shit and defaming one of my favorite pizza restaurants.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          So, you were part of the child sex ring in the basement too?

          • GoutMachine

            Um, it’s called being a dough roller

          • Resistor Radio

            It was all in the emails, man.

    • bbayliss

      “Exclusive: Sources: General Flynn ‘Wept’ As He Asked FBI to Spare Mike Flynn Jr”
      It’s Louise Mensch, so I won’t link

  • jesterpunk

    So anyone want to take bets on who is next? I have Trump Jr as the next one indicted.

  • Jenny

    So the GOP will probably pass their shit tax bill while we are watching Flynn…

    • jesterpunk

      They tried last night and didnt have the votes so they will try again today. But it might fail like their other shitty bills.

  • GoutMachine
  • I should send some maple syrup to Mueller, since it’s obvious he’s flipped Flynn like a pancake.

    • lucidamente

      Bob “The Skillet” Mueller.

    • oldmechanician

      flapjack Flynn? say that three times rapidly. I can’t.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Meanwhile back at the White House, General Kelly keeps everything under control.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2d49dc92070809b9060a6f356a527e236eb1ba7103137d2ab55b9e34fa9b5544.gif

    • bupkus231

      Nah – Kelly is actively and purposely adding to the chaos.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    French newspaper Le Monde is doing a very biting liveblog of the 2018 soccer WC draw currently taking place in Russia. One reader asked whether Russians would be hospitable enough to invite Sepp Blatter.
    To which Le Monde replied “You think you’re joking but Putin did invite his friend Blatter to the opening ceremony.”

    • GoutMachine

      Shit, just add someone from the IOC and you’ve got the perfect trifecta of corruption!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Why am I not surprised Blatter is his “friend”.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: I just agreed to present a case at a staff meeting…why did I agree to present a case at a staff meeting? It was first thing in the morning, so I feel ambushed.

    Let’s hope I don’t step on my own dick here.

    • jesterpunk
      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Burn that image into your brain Sir Taco! All will be well.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          thanks! Like I said, I know these folks, but I have yet to IMPRESS them, so opportunity! (Also opportunity to step on my dick).

          Also, they invited me to lunch to celebrate a coworker’s bday at lunch, so that’s nice.

          • renegade500

            Don’t get any green in your teeth!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks JP! Luckily it’s a small group and I know everybody, at least.

    • Crystalclear12

      Remember to wear pants.

      • Beelzebubba

        ^^This is important.^^

    • janecita

      You can do it!!

    • weejee

      Keep with the good arm extension, hands in front of the bat, and follow-through.

    • grindstone

      Walk in like you own the joint.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Betsy DeVos is listening to hate groups that run around bashing transgender bathroom policies.

    Oh, right. She’s still around.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Yeah about that, weren’t there reports of her imminent resignation just a few weeks ago?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        She went on record yesterday saying those rumors were false and she’s just begun to fight, or something to that effect. I’d like her in jail too, but if her crooked brother goes, that’ll be enough for me.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Captain America knows what time it is!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP-EC3qUMAErZUZ.jpg

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
    He chortled in his joy.”

    https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/936617119424352256

  • janecita

    We are so fucked!

    Senate Republicans are right on the edge of passing their tax plan – CNN

    https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/11/30/politics/tax-reform-vote-latest/index.html

    • weejee

      They’re on the edge of passing something.

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s pretty much a done deal at this time. It certainly will be by the end of the day.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      They’ll be on the unemployment line in a year. Throw the bastards out!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • msanthropesmr

      Small quibble – those dominoes are going backwards.

  • jesuswasablack
  • Michael R
  • WotsAllThisThen

    What would be an “odd number of clogged toilets” for an old man who lives on KFC?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      None?

    • miss_grundy

      You probably have to spray him with Fabreze every five minutes due to the stench.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    While you are all enjoying the perp walk, can I ask you guys a favor? (yes, I’m nagging, but it’s important)
    https://twitter.com/KamalaHarris/status/936616553235255296?s=17

    • miss_grundy

      Stabenow and Peters are voting “no”, so I don’t have to worry. Those of you in Red states need to get on your phones and burn those lines up.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Well this is delightfully weird.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Did she think they weren’t keeping an eye on her?

    https://twitter.com/TheNVIndy/status/936618091584163841

    • Rick Hill

      But, it’s only a crime if felons vote for Dems

  • Dutchman

    Seth Abramson does some excellent ‘splainering of this Flynn thing…

    https://twitter.com/SethAbramson?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

    • bbayliss

      He’s good.

  • Spurning Beer

    “Hey Judge, I hope you can see your way to letting Flynn go. He’s a good guy.”

  • Me not sure

    Time to crack open the whisky advent calendar and do some celebrating. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a38e08b0892c5138538d4e60afc796d511bb07e59801e7e597bfc8c073c7d0de.jpg

    • efoveks

      Where can I get one?

      • Me not sure

        It’s just a Google away. They also make wine ones.

      • NastyBossetti
        • Me not sure

          JUAN! Bring mommy her calendar!
          P.N.

        • grindstone

          DAMMIT, I don’t have a spare $160 right now, this is going to be a thinner xmas than normal, but DAMN that looks enjoyable.

        • efoveks

          That. Is. Awesome!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        You can make your own – I start every day with a shot or two of whisky. So that’s like an advent calendar, right?

        • efoveks

          Ha! True. I need to start doing this..

    • Ghenghis McCann

      It says ‘Quercus Alba’ in the bottom corner. Why do I know that’s white oak? Some of that book reading must have stuck.

      • Me not sure

        Between all Wonkers we know everything. You guys know what’s worth knowing and I know everything else.

      • aureolaborealis

        Because you also probably know that ‘quercus’ and ‘cork’ are cognates?

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Flynn-flam man.

  • Bill D. Burger

    If there is any bright spot in this Republican fucking of America and giveaway to the 1%ers’ Tax Abomination, it is that Flynn’s arrest will blot out their screaming, “Tax cuts, tax cuts…we’ve given YOU tax cuts. You’ll be rich. Pay no attention to reality, facts and the truth. Listen to our alternative facts. Listen to FUX News. We love you and our president. We’re going to give you this, as he called it, “beautiful, beautiful tax package” and we’re going to give it to you long and hard. Bend over….here it comes !”
    They must be held accountable for this fleecing of our country and their lies to enable it all.

    • Proud Liberal

      A public hanging would be the best remedy.

    • Yeah. When this PoS passes, i’m going to be hiding under the covers for a few days.

      Although the Flynn business might lure me out.

  • Major_Major_Major
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Done!

    • GoutMachine

      Done. From my mouse to Miss Lindsey’s ears.

      Wait. Eew.

      • Weird Fishes

        Yeah, ew. Can’t un-read that.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Lindsey is a fucking sell-out, but I took it anyway hoping that maybe he’ll grow a spine and/or a conscience.

      • Major_Major_Major

        He won’t, but fuck it if it makes him have a fleeting second thought.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Or balls.

    • miss_grundy

      Done!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I voted, but I’m skeptical about this poll.

  • Beelzebubba

    When did White-fucking-fish Montana become the grifting capital of the nation?

    • Crystalclear12

      November 8, 2016.

  • Crystalclear12

    So this is the winning I’ve heard so much about.
    Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to get sick of this.

    • GoutMachine

      Yeah, who knew it’d mean “winning the criminal charges” game?

    • Proud Liberal

      Poetic justice is when Flynn says “Yeah, lock her up”, then he’s locked up.

      • Daniel

        It’s thought that this is the reason the Code Napoleon or British Common Law form the basis for so many of the world’s legal systems. The only place where poetic justice is still the backbone of the legal system is in the dark holding cell known… as the Twilight Zone.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          And our imaginations

  • Michael R
    • GoutMachine

      That is satisfyingly hypnotic.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s the slow speed of it…

        Must…give…cat…boatload…of…treats…

  • canes_pugnaces
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Is it live, or is it altered memorex?

    • aureolaborealis

      I’m losing my bearings here. Is this the joke account or the real account?

  • memzilla Ω
    • LadyLaz

      Lol!!!

    • KnaveOfSwords

      Satire?

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        Andy Borowitz always is, but you can tell it’s good satire because it might be true.

    • Me not sure

      …and then the murders really began.

  • Proud Liberal
  • Beanz&Berryz

    Damn. I canut tell what Twit posts are real.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Sessions will be charged with lying to the FBI and obstruction of justice, if he doesn’t cop a plea. Don Jr. and Jared will be facing the same issues, plus most likely money laundering and other financial crimes (and if these are brought as state charges, Trump cannot pardon them). As for Donnie? Obstruction of justice is a slam dunk, as well as conspiracy and financial crimes.
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/tumblr_ljh0puClWT1qfkt17.gif

    • pstokk

      Really really hope they are sharing freely w NY AG. Pretty sure the powers that be will orchestrate some kind of retreat for Trump “for the good of the country”, deal with no federal charges as long as he resigns, and Democrats will accept it. But the money laundering, getting convictions on the Trumps for that stuff, that’s career gold in NY Jerry.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TundraGrifter

    Jared Kushner was just talking to Robert Mueller about Gen. Flynn. Now it appears Mr. Mueller has been working Flynn for some time. I’m guessing the purpose of this most recent interview was to give Kushner one final opportunity to completely come clean – or to continue to lie and tighten the noose already around his neck.

    • Antonin Dvorak
      • TundraGrifter

        I’ve written it before and I’ll write it again. Robert Mueller and his crew of professional investigators and prosecutors are far, far ahead of President Trump’s team of T-ball bench warmers.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It’s a great thread. He explains why this is truly the beginning of the end- or the end of the beginning.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Awesome threat, btw.

  • LadyLaz

    So everyone excited! Repeat after me! Lock him up! Assholes!

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: jesus fucking christ…i work for fucking morons

    recently my library had an upgrade in a software we use for library accounts and printing and time on the internet ( we limit it to two hours a day system wide), an upgrade they supposedly tested for 8 months. so come yesterday we found out that we have to add a zero for amounts less than dollar ( was not the case with the older software) and you have to jump through several hoops to modify the library users record if they get a new card ( i.e. they lost it and need a replacement card) never mind it took one fucking keystroke to do so, now it takes several keystrokes and plenty of opportunities to fuck it up.

    AND best part? the fuckers said nothing about the changes. shit the dumb cunt who is head of the dept was fucking clueless about these issues and she was the one of the fucking testers that tested this new software for 8 months.

    I’ve said before and will say it again, they could burn down my library HQ, and i wouldn’t be sad at all, hell, i would be popping champagne bottles and shooting off fireworks…such fucking worthless people who get paid way too much money.

    if only the public knew what a waste of space they are ( and this is just the fucking library, i can only imagine the fucking incompetence in other county departments)

    but yeah sure…let’s just pat the dumbfuck Republicans on the back on their soon to be Tax Bill WIN.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      We have a good library.

    • eka

      is it library people or software people that were so idiotic? i’m the systems librarian for my library and never upgrade when it’s first available, watch the listservs so i know about issues, and try to communicate whatever i know about upgrades to everyone affected.

      i do hate the company that makes our ILS but can’t imagine having any of this done in house. i’ve met too many idiots feeling terribly proud of clumsy hacks that supposedly improve things.

      • Blackest Noobs

        it is the library people.
        IMO, public libraries are the absolute fucking worse. they rely way too heavily on 3rd parties and none of them can do the most rudimentary things in a library. i have librarians who either refuse to do any circ functions or are clueless about it, or think they’re too good for it.

        Lil Kim should give me one of his nukes, i could put it to very good use. though it would make the area here a parking lot for the next 500 years.

        • eka

          i’m in an academic. i’ve seen a lot of librarians who feel they’re too good for circ as well. there’s a lot of snobbery toward library staff, which makes me feel more comfortable with the non-librarians tbh. the ones who actually do work every day. at my previous job, there was one librarian who shopped for expensive childrens clothing all day but occasionally had to organize an event. she sent the details for setting up the event in the morning to only librarians, ignoring the fact that two non-librarian staff members were the only ones who would be there at 8am and were the ones who actually knew where all the supplies were.

          and really, my library degree was a joke. it was more of an initiation ritual than education. I got it because moving back to the states with just a ba in international relations didn’t get me anywhere and hey, information is important.

          • Blackest Noobs

            not that academic libraries do not have their own issues, and they do, it’s nothing compared to a public library. the current trend is to say fuck-all to being a library and let’s be basically a “free” bookstore. academic libraries and archival libraries are actually, well most of ’em, are out trying to contend with the changes that are coming….public libraries are like, uh, what’s a bibframe, what’s linked data, what’s XML, etc etc.

            ive been for awhile kicking myself for getting my MLS…saying shit!this is way too easy and if i wanted a challenge, i should have got my law degree instead. i was starting to get depressed on my perspectives…i want to do technical services, like i got tons of library experience but lite on cataloging and what-not….so i have a harder time convincing someone to hire me in that field of work….it is especially frustrating because I know damn well i would excel doing this type of work, i’ve shown such aptitude for it in my classes, get accolades from my professors, hell, in a database management course ( the final project was a semester long one where you build a database from scratch) my professor said my coding was elegant..even got the same comment on my cataloging….anyway i was like shit, im gonna have to be a fucking shitty public library librarian…and i don’t really wanna do that as an academic one either.

            then i got a way out….it’s not a paid gig but i convinced a head cataloger at a REAL library to take me under their wing….i help them out by getting through the loads and loads of work they need to do and i get the experience and maybe a way in this library or take the skills elsewhere. i still have to work my shitty public library job, cuz still gotta pay bills, but i am finally seeing some light at the end of this tunnel.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    As gawd is my witness, I did not know elephants could swim.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Dawwwwwwwwwwwww!

    • pstokk

      Seems they can sing too.
      When Mueller gets ahold of em anyway.

    • LadyLaz

      Yes they can! And they put their little trunks up when the do! Super cute. I like elephants…. the real ones

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I read somewhere – the internet, probably – that they’re quite good at swimming and they enjoy it. Somewhere there’s a video of elephants on the beach in Nambia Namibia that’s delightful.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Proud Liberal

      Trump doesn’t believe the law exists when it comes to him. So far, he’s been right.

    • weejee

      This is the same freaking arsehole who called a reasoned jury decision ‘disgraceful.’ And in due course you will find that you are not above the law you draft-dodging pile of orange offal.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I still want Flynn to be court-martialed.

    • jesterpunk

      The pentagon can still do that, these are only civilian charges.

      • LadyLaz

        I bet they will. He was already in trouble with pentagon. He doesn’t need anymore sweet sweet government pension.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          THIS. Strip him of his VA bennies too. Dismiss him for the good of the service.

      • miss_grundy

        Can the Pentagon charge him with treason? Can he be executed for treason? Can they do it live?

  • armed_bears

    I do not know what to think unless I get fresh Wonks. Somebody go nudge Evan.

    • GoutMachine

      Yeah, I’ve been refreshing the main page like a dork.

      • armed_bears

        Yeah, I’ve been refreshing the main page like a dork.

        ‘absolute stud’. FIFY

        Unless “goddess” more appropriate.

        • GoutMachine

          Nah, stud’s cool.

    • jesterpunk

      Evan might be laughing his ass off about the trolls right now.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Probably. Wonkette found a live nerve to tease, and the results are hilarious.

    • weejee

      Well there is the ‘ville.

    • Covfefe

      Evan, and all the others, are writing whole new posts. This changes everything.

  • Michael R
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Mmm, Flynn with cranberries. What do they recommend as a a suitable wine?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Roast the turkey until its skin has a bright orange glow. Serve with a side of Alabama Possum on a platter.

  • Victoria Ricola

    “General Flynn is a wonderful man. I think it is very, very unfair what has happened to Gen. Flynn,” Trump said. “The way he was treated and the documents and papers that were illegally, I stress that, illegally leaked.” – Donald J Trump, treasonous liar

  • Bill D. Burger

    Christmas 2018. Melania decorated the cell to his taste.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP-MLeSXcAUinJ0.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Make it so, Bobby three sticks!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Water Sports magazine is a lovely touch.

  • Covfefe

    If Robert Mueller will give “lying to the FBI” to Michael Flynn, he will give “lying to the FBI” to anyone. Especially after Papadopolous, this looks to me to be a standing offer to anyone willing to flip on Trump.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It saves them from much more serious charges…if they cooperate.

      Mueller’s aiming for the top.

      • Covfefe

        Also saves them a lot of money in attorney fees, which can be punishing in themselves. Quick, easy way to get out of things if you’re in the danger zone

      • miss_grundy

        Mueller is playing the long game and that takes time but it also has better rewards. So, has Dotard started panic tweeting yet?

    • From Russia with Love

      Line up his progeny!

  • Proud Liberal
  • Bill D. Burger

    Never thought a simple signature could make me smile so much.
    (*On the Flynn indictment.)

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP-LFu1UEAAAgNy.jpg

  • kareemachan

    Who the FUCK at malwart thought this t-shirt was a good idea?

    I don’t shop there. Ever. Crap like this is why.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • LadyLaz

    Here is the real question – how long until it’s thunderdome

    • Proud Liberal

      I suspect not long now.

  • Proud Liberal
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I’d like some pepper jack cheese on my nothing burger, please.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Hold the pickle hold the lettuce special orders don’t upset us!

      • From Russia with Love

        !!!

        • pstokk

          I feel a little giddy. I’m up-voting punctuation.

          • From Russia with Love

            And I’m replying with it.

            I dropped this news in on the troll-a-thon on the Sanders thread which the cons had taken over, and they all went home in a half hour. This is a great day! Just not for them.

          • SDGeoff3

            Mm-hmm.

      • Proud Liberal

        I doubt seriously it’s a nothing burger, but you go with that.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          That was sarcasm.

          • renegade500

            We really do need a sarcasm font for the interwebs.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            This is Wonkette. If its obvious sarcasm, it is. If you think it might not be sarcasm, it is. If its clearly not sarcasm, it still is but its really subtle.

          • renegade500

            So, your comment is sarcasm? ;-p

          • SDGeoff3

            Papyrus?

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        Fox is undoubtedly discussing the proper cheese placement as we speak.

      • SDGeoff3

        With dijon mustard, if you please.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          elitist :p

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Michael R

      We’re getting all the witches .

  • Beautiful Soup

    Manafort Monday
    Flynn Friday
    When will it be Trump Tuesday??

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Better than taco Tuesday. We can have a fiesta.

      • puredog

        On every corner!

    • From Russia with Love

      Sooner than we thought.

    • bupkus231

      How about Donnie December? More than enough stuff to take up the whole month…

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Proud Liberal

      That’s what is getting ready to happen. We all know damn well, Flynn is a guilty traitor, just like the President.

  • Dutchman

    The very first verse of Warren Zevon’s Lawyers, Guns and Money. The guy was apparently a genius…

    I went home with the waitress
    The way I always do
    How was I to know
    She was with the Russians, too?

  • Michael R
    • SDGeoff3

      Don’t you point your weiner at me, lady.

  • WomanInThePersistence
  • ZeeLizzee

    From a piece on Jill Stein at Vice: “The famously unhinged political gossip blog Wonkette.” https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/8x5pw3/jill-stein-profile
    Irreverent? Yes. Unhinged? No.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Famous?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        It might be a compliment. It could have been ‘notoriously unhinged.’

        • Indeniable Ron

          ‘As long as they spell your name right.’

        • SDGeoff3

          I would not mind being known as notoriously unhinged.

      • Doug Langley

        We’re famous!!!

    • David Chaillou

      We are too unhinged!!!!!111!1! I will let one dispute it!!!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Saaaaaay, you know who else was famously unhinged?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Zelda Fitzgerald?

        • jodyleek

          To be fair, poor Zelda went crazy because her husband was an abusive, manipulative, plagiarizing (from Zelda’s own diaries!) dickhead.

      • Doug Langley

        The residents of Hingetown, OH? (It’s a suburb of Cleveland)

        • LucindathePook

          Not so much suburb as sub-neighborhood right in CLE. Art galleries, breweries, all that.

      • Mpeg

        Edward Scissorhands?

        • Doug Langley

          Winner, winner, chicken dinner!!

      • cleos_mom

        The Stein voters?

      • TakingAmes

        Jim Morrison?

      • SDGeoff3

        Ayn Rand. No question mark. And her writing is a teacher’s nightmare.

    • Persistent Demme

      “Famously unhinged?!”
      Sounds like SOMEONE didn’t get enough upvotes for their non-comment!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Indeniable Ron

      Elizabeth Montgomery libel!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Bill D. Burger

    Ahhh….the smell of burning toast.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP-HyGjVQAAab8P.jpg

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      If my toaster started burning that image on my toast, I’d throw it out.

  • TundraGrifter

    As we if needed another example of how smooth Robert Mueller operates, he makes public the indictment of Gen. Flynn at the same time he releases his investigation’s financial statement. $5,000,000? A bargain! And almost nowhere in the news this morning…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Literally a tweet for everything.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP-A1GdU8AAzGZa.jpg

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Her time for almost continual laughter has arrived.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Betsy DeVos is listening to hate groups that run around bashing transgender bathroom policies.

    Mrs Pixelz has been having some health issues lately that include occasional wobblyness when walking and some difficulty with everyday tasks like dressing*. A couple times we’ve been out and I’ve wondered if/how I could help her use a public bathroom without getting arrested by Jeff Sessions. My guess is we choose a bathroom and announce ourselves. Then wait for the cops.
    ____________________________________
    * Sadly(?), I’m better at getting women’s clothes off than on.

    • LadyLaz

      I am sorry for Mrs. Pixels issues :(. You are a wonderful husband

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      This is the kind of real-world issues that the black-or-white thinking idiots don’t ever bother to think through. Unisex bathrooms with stalls would solve so many probelms.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Even with the changes proposed by Congress, it’s possible that you may be able to invoke the ADA. “The Mrs is partially disabled. Where’s your reasonable accommodation? The common sense thing would be to give us 5 minutes of privacy. The dumb thing would be to set yourself up for bad publicity and a lawsuit”

    • Doug Langley

      Sorry about the MIssus.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Dunno how much help knowing this might be – maybe it’s something to work towards – but Up Here most big public places have at least one bathroom that is unisex/handicap accessible, SPECIFICALLY for situations like this. I honestly don’t understand why it’s not more common.
      I hope her issues are temporary. I’ve been in your position and going out is always fraught with difficulty.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        I often see a “family bathroom” in public space which I assume would be for this situation. Hugs to you and the mrs!

    • jodyleek

      I’m the mom of a 12 year old autistic son. I didn’t feel comfortable having him go into the men’s bathroom by himself and, up until about a year ago, he came to the women’s bathroom with me if there wasn’t a family bathroom option. The rights of people with disabilities have become collateral damage in the RWNJs outrageous crusade against trans people.

    • Persistent Demme

      I hope it’s a temporary situation.
      Take care.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Shit! The Rethuglicans think they have the votes to pass the tax bill kill the poors bill.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Seemed inevitable today. They are so eager for any ‘win’ they will cram this shit sandwich through and scream TAX CUT to try and cover the immense giveaway to the rich and the nightmare to the working poor and middle class it is.
      I can only take some solace that the Flynn arrest will certainly blunt any ‘victory’ they will claim.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Undoing all the damage this misadministration has caused will take decades.

        • Impatient

          Yes. Unbelievable. I seriously think the losses/cost of this unplanned side trip will be in the hundreds of billions. (Okay, actually seriously, I shied away from sounding excessive, but I mean at least the single trillions.)

          On the other hand, one good thing … if they pass this giveaway bill … is that it should be the best chance yet of welding the GOP coffin shut. The greed is just too blatant, and too many groups get gored.

      • Covfefe

        Using the Flynn plea as cover.

      • bupkus231
  • LadyLaz

    Please tell me someone is trolling Flynn Jr for that pic he posted of his dad with Mueller.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      He and pops deactivated their Twitter accounts. Snowflakes.

  • Doug Langley

    Just heard back from the temp agency, the same one that got me the file clerk job and was supposed to be getting me something for the next month. They said no. Mumble mumble job would be too different mumble. Now what? Still going to find something to keep me going till CC in January.

    Oh, and want to thank everyone who’s dropped a bit into my gofundme. Not quite enough for rent, but enough to keep the account from imploding. https://gofundme.com/dougs-expenses

    And over on Patheos the continuing saga of The Fountainhead! Today – the Rape Scene, part 2! http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2017/12/fountainhead-bodice-ripper-part-2/

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      How close are you, darlin’? We Wonkers are in the giving spirit this morning!

      • Doug Langley

        Another 400 will do it!

    • Indeniable Ron

      I hate that I can’t help out this month. NOBODY should have to worry about money at this time of year.

      • Doug Langley

        Thanks. I started hating Christmas when I was fired from a good job the week before. Many years ago.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Funny how many companies do that, innit? It was a regular feature of Toronto news all through the 80s. (After that I moved and didn’t hear it ever again.)

    • cleos_mom

      Did a lot of temp work over a period of decades and I’ll bet you’ve heard the “we’re still waiting to hear about that” line.

      They never tell you exactly what they’re waiting to hear, or why they’d post a position if they’re not sure about it. Never.

      • Doug Langley

        Over and over. Look, when the recruiter calls me and says “I want to submit you!”, they’re not doing it for kicks. Their very jobs rest on placing people. So what are they seeing that looks so good and why does it keep fizzling out?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • phoenix00

      And they think we Librulz are the ones ruining Christmas.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    In the future, the lowest, most abject degree of stupidity will be referred to as “Trumpian” stupidity.

    • From Russia with Love

      You know, the dumbass could have just chilled and ridden the gravy train. But fucking Republicans ALWAYS overreach.

    • cleos_mom

      There’s also the archaic word “trumpery.” It means just what you’d guess it means: cheap and gaudy.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    We will be updating the document we posted with new filings as they come in. Stay posted. https://t.co/m8bGYn3cmX— Lawfare (@lawfareblog) December 1, 2017

    • Indeniable Ron

      ‘Then we’ll add those three conspiracy charges.’
      ‘I still ain’t talking, copper!’
      ‘Okay. Then after THAT we hand you over to a military tribunal…’
      ‘OKAY, OKAY! I’LL TALK!’

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Flynn is such an idiot. He expected loyalty from the shitgibbon:

    sources close to Flynn told @BrianRoss that he feels “abandoned by Trump”— Tara Palmeri (@tarapalmeri) December 1, 2017

    • Bill D. Burger

      rotfl….Trump would throw even his own children, including Ivanka, under the bus to save himself.

      No hesitation, only a slight pause in the case of Ivy.

    • miss_grundy

      He better get used to those feefees. It is what Trump does to all of his useful idiots once they stop being useful.

    • phoenix00

      We will enjoy his delicious tears…. in prison.

  • Bill D. Burger

    On the first day of Christmas
    Bob Mueller gave to me
    Mike Flynn in court____pleading guil-TEEEEEE’!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP-TYOHUEAAUMPD.jpg

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Doug Langley
    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      On the first day of Trumpmas, Bob Meuller gave to me: A stool pigeon in a pear tree.

    • Donna Mueller

      HERE WE GO!!!!WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Lord Jim

      That testimony isn’t the smoking gun – it’s the perfectly-preserved bullet with clear lands and grooves.

  • Indeniable Ron

    Okay, had my fun playing with the trolls. Now on to actual news!

    • Doug Langley

      In today’s news: Wonkette man caught playing with trolls.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Can’t spend ALL my time with my MLP toys, now, can I?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Wire taps on Trumpkins
      And traitors on twitter
      Criminal indictments and long prison visits
      Disgraced advisors plea bargaining
      These are a few of my favorite things…

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Copyranter’s 9 most WTF ads of 2017

    https://digiday.com/marketing/most-wtf-ads-of-2017/

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Hey Barrak. Did you hear about Flynn?”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP-KnFLVwAE_8Bs.jpg

    • phoenix00

      “He wanted me locked up. ME?!!?”

  • bbayliss

    On July 27, 29, and 30, 1974, the Committee approved three articles of impeachment against Nixon, for obstruction of justice, abuse of power, and contempt of Congress, and reported those articles to the House of Representatives.

  • Hanaka

    I hope the substitute teacher that called a 6 year old with Down Syndrome a terrorist (assuming because his name is Mohammed) gets canned and publicly shamed. What parents of kids with special needs don’t need is bullshit like this fucking up our already complicated lives. Fuck that dumb ass substitute. I hope her dog takes a crap in her shoes. I hope stupid kids knock down her mailbox. I hope the next box of cereal she purchases has a defective, open bag and all that cereal is stale. Fuck her.
    ETA – I hope every detail of her life goes wrong for months on end. What a shitty piece of shit.

    • C4TWOMAN

      “I hope something slightly unpleasant happens, like an onion falling on her head.”
      – mangled Blackadder quote

  • SeeTrain65
  • Persistent Demme

    Just have to say that holding a Koala was THE highlight of my trip to Australia, (and it is a VERY wonderful country).
    She loved the cuddles, and didn’t want it to end.
    As soft as you would imagine, and it was all I could do not to kiss and squeeze, (we weren’t allowed), that iconic silhouette.

    (I know you’re not allowed to this everywhere, but this was a Koala rescue sanctuary on Magenetic Island, and we were happy to add to their fund raising efforts.)

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    … a move Fusion says could tank its business.

    Maybe doing illegal shit shouldn’t be a part of your business plan.

  • Doug Langley

    In-dited like Flynn.

  • LadyLaz
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • BroadWithSass

    Nothing to say but wassup…figured I better start posting since twitcy made me pony up da bucks last night

  • Michael R
  • Me not sure

    Dear Dominic,
    It is very clear that you put a whole lot o’ thought into today’s Wonkagenda, only to have the Flynn news shit all over it and then drown it in the bathtub. Be of strong heart and keep up the good work. Tomorrow is purported to be another day.
    Your’s for purity of essence,
    Me

  • chascates

    When you start out the Wonkagenda with cute koala nice times we know out screwed today will be.

  • SDGeoff3

    Domenic, thank you for the great animal videos. They work their magic every time. (Our big feral kitty does the koala “pet me here, dammit” thing too.)

  • Bitter Scribe

    Fuck Dan Lipinski. His father was a complete dick who led the opposition in the Chicago City Council to Mayor Harold Washington (until Washington cleaned their clocks in the next election, winning a majority coalition). He’s so much in the Joe Lieberman mold that I wouldn’t be surprised to see him speak at the next Republican convention.

  • ltmcdies
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    jesus christ Dom – I’m only like 1/2 way through this morning’s wonkagenda and everything is fucking terrible…just thing after thing after thing.

    • Yeah, before getting started and looking at early morning headlines I knew it would be a day when we’d need koala belly rubs.

      • M.E. Lawrence

        Thank you, Dominic. I always look forward to your selections; today’s elephant are particularly charming. (And how dare the Goddamned Outrageous Pusillanimous folk claim these magnifient creatures as their symbol?)

  • Skadi

    They keep telling us koalas are vicious animals, not cuddly at all, and then they show us shit like this. :-P

  • Merry Meet:) You know which other country ruled by a religious nutter and her band of rebellious poos bent on screwing up the world that has nukes? Also royalty…go on, guess

  • Margaret

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  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    All The Animals: If humans would just give us belly rubs instead of killing us, we’d totally be buds.
    All The Humans: You get a belly rub! And you get a belly rub! And you get a bullet through the leg. Everybody gets a bullet through the leg!

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