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You say Opioid Czar, I say Grim Reaper, let’s call the whole thing off

Human Death Rictus Kellyanne Conway has been picked to head the White House’s “efforts” at fighting the opioid epidemic, proving exactly how seriously the Trump administration considers this public health emergency. Conway, a pollster and campaign adviser by profession, has exactly zero experience in public health policy, but that’s probably not going to be a problem for her, since there’s little evidence that the administration intends to treat the opioid crisis as a public health problem anyway.

Instead, Donald Trump has already made it clear that the best answer to the opioid problem is not more money for treatment or for anti-overdose medications, but rather, simply to tell kids to say no to drugs, even more loudly to say no to drugs:

The best way to prevent drug addiction and overdose is to prevent people from abusing drugs in the first place. If they don’t start, they won’t have a problem. If they do start, it’s awfully tough to get off. So if we can keep them from going on and maybe by talking to youth and telling them: No good, really bad for you in every way. But if they don’t start, it will never be a problem.

So if it’s a PR campaign you want, instead of a public health effort, then that’s right in Kellyanne Conway’s wheelhouse. Here’s a sample of her ability to use vivid imagery to illustrate the scope of the problem, and then explain why that huge problem can be solved without spending a single additional dollar, as she explained to George Stephanopoulos in June:

 

Stephanopoulos threw some nonsense at her about liberal Democrats Rob Portman (R-Ohio) and Shelley Moore Capito (R-West Virginia) and their liberal Democrat blah-blah-blah about how cutting Medicaid would actually hurt opioid recovery treatment, and Conway just made those liberal Democrat talking points go away for good:

Conway: George, I would point out that President Obama, through ObamaCare and elsewise, poured money into crises like this and where are we?

You can fill up every seat in Yankee Stadium and that accounts for the number of people who died of drug addiction in this country just last year. Thirty-three thousand of whom opioid-related. It’s a gateway to heroin use, fentanyl, carfentanil. It’s all a big problems.

And so pouring money into the problem is not the only answer. We have to get serious about in-facility treatment and recovery.

Stephanopoulos: That takes money, Kellyanne.

Conway: It takes money and it also takes a four letter word called will.

Now, obviously, Donald Trump has made it clear there will be no money, so we’re gonna go with “will,” and that means Kellyanne Conway doesn’t need to know anything about public health. She knows all about will. She even willed the concept of Alternative Facts into being, so don’t you go doubting her ability to make opioids go away without spending any money on “treatment.” Just STOP DOING DRUGS, YOU DRUG DOERS! And if people don’t listen and keep doing opioids, well then, Kellyanne Conway has a metaphorical seat for them at Yankee Stadium.

While Conway will be leading the White House’s very important Just Say No-ing on opioids, it’s not clear whether that means she’ll be devoting all her time to that, or still going on TV to lie about other subjects with every single movement of her mouth.

And just to be clear, Conway is only “working” on opioids, not drug policy in general. In October, Tom Marino, Trump’s nominee to be the nation’s “drug czar” — or as boring people call the job, director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy — pulled out of contention for the position after it was revealed he’d pushed legislation that would have made it harder for the DEA to restrict opioid sales by suspicious pharmacies. Trump hasn’t bothered naming anyone new to that position yet.

Maybe Mick Mulvaney could do it. He’s certainly not going to be very busy in the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, apart from telling everyone to do absolutely nothing, so he could probably manage drug policy, too. And Jared could help do for drug policy what he’s already done for Mideast peace.

How hard can it be to digitally add some more recent clothes to the gal from that “This is your brain on drugs” ad they already have in the vault?

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money — laughing at these idiots may prevent you from needing opioids!

[Mother Jones]

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  • TundraGrifter

    I wish President Trump and Kellyanne Conway just had the will to stop telling so many lies.

    • PubOption

      That would render them mute.

      • willi0000000

        so . . . no downside!

  • Daniel Hooper

    You know, maybe Kellyanne knows more about addictions than we give her credit for. I mean, how ELSE can anybody survive working in this administration?

  • Tragic Typos

    “I alone can appoint ineffectual dolts”

  • therblig

    wonder why the need to get her out of the way all of a sudden. couldn’t they just pay her the $179,000 to stay home for the next 3-8 years? given the deficit they’re going to run up, that seems like chump change.

  • Daniel

    So Kellyanne is counting on the triumph of the will.

    Fits.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Conway will use a novel approach to solving the opioid crisis. She will visit hard-hit areas of the country and hold up signs that read “Don’t use opioids.”

  • Asterix

    Everything is always Obama’s fault with these assholes.

    Republicans controlled the funding, not Obama.

  • schmannity
  • ltmcdies

    “Will” huh.

    well Kelly Anne, I’m sure that will really help in all those opiod crisis areas of America that voted for your boss.

    Just say no, there, you out of work miners and their out of work families.

    fuck

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    She may want to put away her stash of meth before she helps others with meth

  • clubseal

    Every time I see someone, in response to a story about addiction, smugly say, “Yeah, addiction may be a change in the brain, but they made a choice to do it in the first place,” I want to respond YES, WISE ONE, THAT WILL SURELY END THEIR ADDICTION, BEING TOLD IT’S A CHOICE, YOU [Redacted] WHO CAN GO [Redacted] WITHOUT VOTES.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Breaking Dotarded

    I am the one who Derps!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    WTF? I had almost forgotten about her! Dammit, now she’ll be back on my teevee machine. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/49742f62d94fbac4e5a9ea0ae41b145e4d7f451023387a2f96cf2ec7747697b9.png

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This is what happens when the only people who will work for you already work for you.

  • memzilla Ω

    You want to solve the opioid crisis, you evil peroxide succubus? STOP MAKING PEOPLE’S LIVES MORE MISERABLE.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    One look at her and you know she’s an expert on meth addiction.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    they can retool the fried egg ad and replace the egg and skillet with Conway’s face.

  • Bill D. Burger

    She will remove her make up and show them the ravages of meth___and Trump.
    Problem solved. No more meth or Trump addiction. Believe me….you can believe me.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CwmCxcbWIAER-mF.jpg

    • clubseal

      Tales From the Crypt libels

      • Bill D. Burger

        “Hello, Boils and Ghouls”

  • TJ Barke

    Everything this admin does is a fucking travesty…

  • memzilla Ω

    Drugs ravage black and brown communities: “BUILD MOAR PRIZONZ!!1!!”
    Drugs ravage white communities: “We need more treatment and rehab centers.”

    • bupkus231

      Drugs ravage a Republican political operation: “Just Say No!”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      But we don’t want to pay for either.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      There’s a commercial running here with Gov. Christie and an attractive young white woman who is no longer addicted. The message is pretty clear.

  • TundraGrifter

    Looks like the witch hunt is over.

  • FlownΩver

    “It takes will,” as in Triumph of the …

  • mrFawkes

    Conway has been on the frontline of the Drug War. She saw the speedball at the Bowling Green Massacre.

    • schmannity

      I like a brief walk before the joke.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I kinda feel about the IQ45 regime working on addiction the way I feel about a mechanic fixing your gas tank because he accidentally punctured it with his screwdriver while he was fixing your rear axle: just please stop trying to help now, thank you.

  • Joe Beese

    Updated Franken Accuser Count: 6

    I’ve been thinking he’ll survive this because his offenses are trivial compared to, say, Harvey Weinstein’s, but Pelosi coming out against Conyers this morning by calling on him to resign has complicated that tremendously. Conyers’s lawyer has already begun asking why the black congressman is being pushed out but not the white senator from Minnesota. There are non-racial explanations for that — the abuse of power that Conyers is accused of is worse than the one Franken is accused of — but Democrats do *not* want to end up in a situation where they’re fielding questions from black voters about why they’re keeping the white guy on when the black “icon” suddenly had to go. Party leaders will be looking to scalp Franken now to balance the scales, especially with new allegations coming out. The sooner they do it, the better:

    https://hotair.com/archives/2017/11/30/six-woman-claims-franken-gave-wet-open-mouthed-kiss-onstage-2006/

  • bupkus231

    Gawd, every day, this shit gets worse and worse.

  • ArgieBargie

    “So if we can keep them from going on and maybe by talking to youth and telling them: No good, really bad for you in every way. But if they don’t start, it will never be a problem.”

    Sounds like Abstinence-only Drug Education.

  • Relativicus

    This post is related because, if any of the below becomes reality, we’ll need someone who is outstandingly incompetent overseeing the opioid crisis so that we can continue to get opioids any ol’ way we want. I’m definitely gonna start abusing as soon as I can and I don’t really care for any of them. Wellllll, liquid morphine is cool, anyway.

    “The White House and CIA have been considering a package of secret proposals to allow former US intelligence officers to run privatized covert actions, intelligence gathering, and propaganda missions, according to three sources who’ve been briefed on or have direct knowledge of the proposals.”

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/aramroston/trump-administration-mulls-private-rendition?utm_term=.pxx3z0qAV#.oi9n0mBX9

    As incredible a thing it is to say, I am somehow more horrified than I was yesterday.

    • TJ Barke

      That’s what the real deep state looks like.

    • bupkus231

      I’d abuse opioids, but I can’t afford the meds to relieve the opioid induced constipation….

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Hey a Flynn’s gotta eat.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      What could go wrong?

    • aureolaborealis

      Welp. At least a responsible adult like Tom Cotton will be running the CIA, so we’ll be safe from any abuse of power.

      • Relativicus

        Can I offer you a Flintstones oxycodone pill? Cherry, or grape?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Whenever I have an urge to take drugs, I talk it out with my microwave oven. It’s a surprisingly good listener.

  • schmannity

    Throwing money at a problem never works. Fewer resources available to solve a problem incentivizes people to solve problems!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Bootstrappy!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        “Pull yourself up by your beltstraps” -GOP health plan

    • bupkus231

      A little too Poe, there. This sounds EXACTLY like what the asshole Republicans say….

      • schmannity

        Saying it out loud is to show how ridiculous the notion is. It’s the GOP’s answer for everything except defense.

    • JoeChristmas

      Well, except when we throw it at the 1%.

      • schmannity

        Absolutely correct! They take that money and invest it to create more problems for the middle class coughsubprimemortgagebackedsecuritiescough.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
    • Bill D. Burger

      “This is your face on Trump.
      Any questions?”

      ….and EWWWW

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        At least we know Trump voters’ brains didn’t get fried like eggs.

        Assumes brains not in evidence.

  • ArgieBargie

    To be fair, Kellyanne face makes the perfect case for staying away from drugs.

  • Me not sure

    So this is all it takes to beat opioids? Let’s all ralley to the cause. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a445f66f40c2619dd96c72b224ac9cc387b6cade69086afda7f0ac37f6a2b224.jpg

  • Bobathonic

    When she fixes it, without any funding, it will be a triumph of the will.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    The people I know well who are addicts were mainly self-medicating because of horrors in their pasts – women who were raped, men who were abused as children. To say these people “just shouldn’t have started using drugs” is not only unhelpful, it puts all the blame on the abusers of the drugs instead of the abusers of the people. If you want to “fix” drug addiction you could start by not letting our conversations about it lay blame at the wrong doors.

    • Me not sure

      Every time I see KAC I want to self-medicate heavily.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Yup. The vast majority of painkiller addicts are actually being prescribed it for mental health disorders.

      https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/most-opioid-prescriptions-are-for-people-with-depression-other-mood-disorders/

      But as you can see, it’s from a notoriously biased liberal fake-news source called Scientific American. It doesn’t say anything about Hillary killing autistic Christian fetuses with chemtrails, so obviously I guess I made this whole thing up.

    • MsEdgyNation

      Lay some of that blame on “job creators” who skimp on worker safety. With one exception, all the opiate addicts I know have chronic pain from on the job injuries. (The other had medical problems and a lot of surgery as a child and was hooked on morphine before he hit puberty.)

  • WotsAllThisThen

    It’s a powerful addiction, and she’s just the PR person to apply Will to Power, until we have a Truimph of the Will over this deadly scourge.

  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    for some reason I can’t get out of my head what Jello said in ’86… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68ekngSyuLM

  • schmannity

    Shuckabee Slanders just responded to a question about whether Trump believes that Scarborough killed his intern with “I don’t have anything to add to that tweet.” What chapter in Profiles in Cowardice are we on now?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Wait, what?

  • TJ Barke

    Why’s this woman who’s violated federal law on television twice being allowed to run anything?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Because Jared is busy digging out of his legal issues at the moment?

  • kilgoretrout

    Kellyanne’s triumph of the will

  • JMP

    Wait, wasn’t that supposed to be Jared’s job? Is this a sign that daddy-in-law is about to throw him under the bus too?

    At least he got replaced by someone just as qualified as him.

  • Resistor Radio

    What does George Will have to do with any of this?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He likes baseball.

  • Asterix

    OT

    “there is nothing in the world like first-rate pussy.”

    http://reverbpress.com/discovery/sexuality/maxim-golf-mirrors-trump-access-hollywood/

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’d just like to add that it’s basically because of people who interviewed a many-times-bankrupted asshole NY real-estate jagoff about anything that wasn’t about failure or real estate that we ended up with such a worthless sack of smegma having such a high profile that he could run for the presidency and fucking 62 million clueless shlubs would vote for him. If the damn editor had had the moral courage to re-shape the article to show how very loathsome and foul a person this degenerate idiot was, we could have avoided all of this.

  • Bill D. Burger

    KC’s purse indicates she is highly qualified and experienced.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP1eKTsVQAUf-Pq.jpg

    • Resistor Radio

      When she moves it around the table, you know she’s filming you.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    This is like whenever Burns pick Homer Simpson to do whatever job needs doing, only not funny.

    • Resistor Radio

      Today we are all Grimey.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Conway: It takes money and it also takes a four letter word called will.

    Hey, you druggies, get your wills in order. When KAC starts making frequent trips to Manilla, we’ll know what “will” she is referring to.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      There is a four letter word that describes KaC. It starts with a c…

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        …and ends with T, and has the U.N. in betwee’ — that’s TROUBLE! Right here in Moscow City!

      • marxalot

        See you next Tuesday.

    • bupkus231

      The “will” stuff is the thing taking the most heat, but did she actually say it takes money?

      I guess the whole approach to the opioid crisis is to take every spare penny away from the poor and middle class, as well as their health insurance, so they can’t afford to get opioids ….

      Good plan….

  • La forza del resistino

    She could start her campaign at Bowling Green, or what is left of it.

  • maman

    WILL? Bring that bitch to me… Let me tell her a little story about a 20 year old girl who watched her 18 year old sister die before her eyes and then have her tell me about how the 20 year old needed more WILL. It wasn’t a case of will that spins someone into addiction. It does take will and a shit ton of money to get them out of it. Not to mention dedicated, trained counselors in rehab and outside of it.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      So sorry Maman 😞 Hugs from all of us over the loss of your sister.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9b67996eebd3a05eb0f5c82a3007e7efce76927c7ce099c77d739a76a307fdaf.jpg

      • maman

        Not my sister. My daughters. One died of cancer then we got to watch her sister slide into addiction. At lease I could save one. But the attitude that these folks just need to straighten up misunderstands what is going on with them. That can’t be fixed with an ad campaign.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Absolutely. I left an additional comment above. This is all tied in with the stubborn stigma against mental illness. I applaud the public figures who are trying to make it better, like Prince Harry and Justin Trudeau and his mom and Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato and so many others, but hatred and fear directed toward the mentally ill and substance abusers is so embedded in our society that we probably won’t get to even social parity within any of their lifetimes (which is really saying something; the oldest in that list is Margaret, who is 70; Justin is 45 and Harry 36 — but Selena and Demi are only in their twenties).

          Kellyanne is a bitch. You can’t “will” yourself out of depression or bipolar disorder any more than you can addiction — or cancer for that matter. We need a massive overhaul not only of the healthcare system (health CARE and not necessarily “insurance” which is a profiteering model), but a shifting of the minds and hearts to treat the mentally ill and sufferers of addiction with the same compassion you would towards a cancer patient. What happened to your daughters, to BosGrl’s and to so many others is a heartbreaking tragedy. These people aren’t “sick,” the Kellyannes of the world. They’re the ones who need to make the willful choice not to be callous pieces of shit.

    • BosGrl

      Oh, dear God, you and I have the same story only vice versa. I am so, so, so very sorry, maman. I just came here to type FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU KELLYANNE! And also FUCK YOU, KELLYANNE, I hope to GOD nobody in your family ever has this disorder.

      Maman, sending you love and hugs. I’m here if you ever need to talk.

      • BosGrl

        Oh, you were the sister. Dear God. I was the mom. My 18 y/o daughter was home when her 20 y/o sister ODd.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Oh honey – I did not know that part of your terrible story. So, so very sorry.

        • maman

          Dear God, that is awful. I hope you are all getting help. I know we are and it makes a difference. My 20 year old is now 23 and has celebrated her first year of sobriety but it was a hella fight. Oddly, insurance companies give you less grief while dealing with terminal cancer than they do while fighting addiction. As if one of your children deserves to be saved more than the other. Bastards.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Oh, I’ve said this all over the place. Mental illness and addiction disorders are never treated with sympathy like cancer is in any aspect of society. This includes the workplace. You say you need time off because you’re starting a round of chemo, everyone goes out of their way to make up the time for you, ask if there’s anything you need, send you flowers, take up a collection can, all the stops are pulled out. But you need time off for mental health or to enter into a rehab program, and all of a sudden you’re a pariah — either you’re a selfish, derelict junkie who deserves to die, or you’re a ticking time bomb, a workplace shooting waiting to happen. Either way, you’re a liability and a leper and everyone turns their back. The hostility that people with mental health concerns get from people is sickening.

          • BosGrl

            One year of sobriety is so great! So much love to her.

            I’m fortunate to have a great support system in my life, not to mention the people here who have put up with me. I stand with you. We need to stand together to get rid of the stigma and the stupid, stupid thinking that SUD is a matter of self control. Our children will not be forgotten and we will conquer.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • WotsAllThisThen

      “I’m not addicted, that’s just a false narrative pushed by the Fake News MSM!”

      Cured.

  • Bill D. Burger

    1st Poster is out:

    This is a lying skank on drugs.
    Any questions?
    Don’t do drugs.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP1iZBRUIAAexAE.jpg

    • jesuswasablack

      Cocaine nose job!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    For three days now I have been trying to finish a sewing project and get some overdue chores done, but the news has been so ghastly every day that all I have done is sit at my computer staring at it in horror, and I am NOT GETTING ANYTHING DONE!!! Please, GOP Assholes, could you take just ONE day off from screwing the people so I can maybe finish this project, do some laundry and clean up the cat’s hairballs? Yes, yes, I know you just had a little vacation, but perhaps you could limit yourselves to one blow at the Constitution and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights per day?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I am right there with you, sister. I, too, have sewing and cleaning to do, and spend all my time following national news because I just can’t stop. Grrrrrrr

    • TJ Barke

      They’re not screwing the people, they’re screwing the serfs.

    • puredog

      Eventually you’ll be up to your shoulders in hairballs, and you’ll get on that problem. So a friend tells me.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        The thing is, if I don’t clean them up, the cat eventually eats them, and then I get cat puke and an expensive trip to the vet.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Welp, this gives the phrase “just say no” an entirely new meaning.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    OT

    Jim Nabors, now singing with other angels. PBUH

    He is survived by his husband.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/30/entertainment/jim-nabors-dead/index.html

  • Bill D. Burger

    Avoid the worst drug of all: Trump Kool-aid.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DP4kQUCXkAIs_1c.jpg

  • Treehopper1104

    So her plan is just the triumph of the will? Now why does that sound familiar?

    • Daniel

      [Cough]

      [Points downthread]

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Did not see that coming.

  • Bill D. Burger

    She must start immediately working on her boss.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXtFa6Yggcg

    • kilgoretrout

      He’s like Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet

      • puredog

        “I’LL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES!”?
        Yeah, I see your point.

      • mailman27

        Mommy!!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    So, her experience in public health policy is…. ?

  • Joe Beese

    If my wife or I text each other a celebrity’s name accompanied by nothing else, it’s understood that we’re reporting their death.

    When I texted her “Jim Nabors” just now, she replied “Dead or pervert?”

    • Katamount

      Hugh Hefner must have really thrown a wrench in that game.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It appears he really was what he appeared to be – a genuinely nice guy. God that’s refreshing.

    • aureolaborealis

      We do that, too, except it’s only for rape and sexual harassment.

  • TJ Barke

    The plan for the opioid crisis is for the poor to die off, to acquire their property, and redevelop.

  • jesuswasablack
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      If you ever have an erection that lasts more than four hours, here’s the remedy.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Doing drugs makes you look like THIS!

    • mailman27

      I’m finding it easy to say no. (But I’m no trip to Hollywood either.)

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    Look. I think y’all are underestimating her. Think of the ads – her babbling bullshit and perpetually pissed off face, with the voiceover: “This is what opioid abuse could do to you….. allegedly.”

  • kilgoretrout

    Kellyanne and Trump already drove me to drink. Now she’s pushing opioids at me.

  • James Baskin

    Hey Kelly… Tell em ‘Just say know.’

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    It takes money and it also takes a four letter word called will.

    That’ll be a triumph!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2068772d42ac570653207b1db60d872bf1a494aabea5e5636173e31d56f34fca.jpg

    • Lance Thrustwell

      DAMMIT beat me to it.

      Edit: Although mine wouldna had the nifty graphic. I’m kinda low tech.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Beat us ALL to it.

        BTW, to avoid colluding with Russia, it also took a four-letter word: NYET.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    The best way to prevent drug addiction and overdose is to prevent people from abusing drugs in the first place.

    Or, to recycle warmed over zombie Nancy Reagan (too lazy to look over whether she’s still alive):
    JUST SAY “OUCH, JEZUSSS, I AM IN CONSTANT FUCKING PAIN AND THE ONLY THING THAT THEY’LL PRESCRIBE ME ARE THESE HIGHLY ADDICTIVE OPIOIDS AND THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT REFUSES TO ACCEPT THAT MARIJUANA CAN DO A LOT OF THE PAIN MANAGEMENT WITHOUT THE ADDICTION PROBLEM, BUT HEAVEN FUCKING FORBID THAT I GET A LITTLE HIGH WHILE MEDICATING MY, OUCH, JEZUSS, I AM IN CONSTANT….”

    Repeat as needed.

  • jesterpunk

    They just need to say no to drugs? Why didnt anyone think of that before now if it works so well?

    http://www.history.com/speeches/nancy-reagan-introduces-just-say-no-campaign

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Mebbe the doctors are the ones who need to say no to Pharma graft.

      • Timothy Watson

        And Pharma could say no to lying and claiming that it’s impossible to become addicted to their drugs.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          And the prison-industrial complex could say no to their addiction to racism and private-prison contracts…

          Yeah, you know what, pass the morphine.

      • jesterpunk

        I said this last night but going to say it again today.

        Its easy to get pain medicine. I have told my doctor 3 times now to cancel my prescription for a pain medicine because I am not taking it and don’t need it. I still have a full bottle of it in the medicine cabinet too. Granted its not an opioid but its still pain medicine and its still a doctor prescribing something they shouldn’t because of the side effects.

        • bupkus231

          Hell, my aunt ( here in Florida, certainly one-time epicenter of “doctor shopping:” for opioids ) didn’t really even have to ask – she had at least three different prescriptions for various forms of opioid painkillers when I got here – and still hoards a pretty full bottle of hydrocodone w/ acetominophen “just in case” – perhaps it’s not exactly the drug of choice for opioid abusers, and it’s more than a couple years old now, but I’ve given up on trying to convince she doesn’t need it.

          • jesterpunk

            Mine is just naproxen which is a stronger prescription NSAID like Aleve. Its still not good for you and they keep adding it to my prescriptions even though I keep telling them not to and that I am not taking it. I guess I should be glad its not an opioid but they are pretty quick to prescribe pain medicine even if you dont want or need it.

          • bupkus231

            I don’t know what a “stronger” version of naproxen is. My dentist told me that the “prescription-strength” ibuprofen ( Advil, not Aleve ) she was prescribing me ( after a root canal ) was just a double dose of the OTC ibuprofen ( i.e. 800 mg versus 2 200-mg tablets ).

            Since then, whenever I have pain ( from arthritis or something else, not necessarily dental ), I take 4 Advil, not 2.

          • aureolaborealis

            I have it on good authority (and from experience) that taking full doses of ibuprofen and acetaminophen at the same time is almost as good at relieving pain as opiods, without the risk of mega-doses of either, or opiod addiction.

          • aureolaborealis

            btw: Alleve is naproxen sodium.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Thank you, I’ve been thinking that out loud.

          • puredog

            I’ve got leftover percocet that I hold on to “just in case.” The cases are infrequent, but genuine.

          • bupkus231

            Yeah – but how potent does that stuff remain? I would agree that the “one-year expiration” that the pharma companies/pharmacies put on their shit is probably at least influenced by their desire to sell more product, but these drugs DO lose their potency over the years.

        • mailman27

          Can I get your Dr’s number? I am kidding, of course. But sensible drug policies have to budget for people who are in severe pain for which there is no cure, and for which palliatives are the only answer. I apologize in advance for lashing out due to insane levels of pain which preclude living a normal life.

          • jesterpunk

            The pain medicine my doctor keeps adding is only neproxin which is a prescription NSAD like Aleve but stronger. Its not an opioid but the point is they make it way too easy to get pain medicine and there are no real effective checks for it.

          • mailman27

            The answer, as in all things, is balance. Ouch! Namaste. Yikes!! :)

          • jesterpunk

            Dont get me wrong I do know some people really need pain medicine and have legitimate reasons for it. With anything there are a few bad people who ruin it and make it more difficult for the people who need it.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Teaching kids to say “no” won’t go over well with some in the GOP (i.e. Roy Moore)

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “Go Fuck Yourself, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, You Debased Redneck Motherfucker”
    definitely bears repeating:
    https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/936334209844678656
    https://twitter.com/NiallStanage/status/936333726203760640

    • jesterpunk

      Well she is kind of right, now we have even more people calling Trump a fucking moron and the UK isnt inviting him to anything.

      • Beelzebubba

        Il Douche elevated every other conversation on the planet, in relative terms.

        • kilgoretrout

          Can some prominent and respected American (looking at you Barack) write an open letter of apology to the UK for all of us?

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Yay! That means he and Justin are going to reunite for The Magic Apology Tour!

            ♪ ♪ ♪
            Tra-la!
            The Magic Apology Tour!
            Tra-la!
            The Magic Apology Tour!
            Tra-la! (It’s a charm defensive)
            The Magic Apology Tour!
            Tra-la! (‘Cause Donald’s so offensive)
            The Magic Apology Tour!

            The Magic Apology Tour
            Is coming to say sorry, eh!
            Sorry it turned out this way!
            The Magic Apology Tour
            Has only one more thing to say!
            Please do keep Donald away,
            From the UK…!
            ♪ ♪ ♪

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Taking us up to DEFCON 2?

    • cmd resistor

      So I flipped over to the press conference without sound. All I could tell was she looked pretty cheerful. Maybe that was when she was making up that shit.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yes, because now people are talking about Aristophanes’ Cloud Cuckoo Land.

  • Beelzebubba

    Just say no when your doctor prescibes a pain killer? That’s going to be an interesting campaign to watch.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Doctors are supposed to say no to prescribing painkillers. Remember that four letter word w-i-l-l if you are unfortunate enough to be a chronic pain patient.
      Besides, people who don’t have chronic pain will tell you that opioids don’t work anyway. They advise yoga.

  • BosGrl

    I am going back to work, after a few cigarettes, before Dok kicks me off for violating the rules. But let me just say, if I ever see that person* IRL, I will not be responsible for what comes out of my mouth.

    *assumes facts not in evidence

  • DerrickWildcat

    I thought this was tasked to Kushner.

    • kilgoretrout

      He’s working the supply side covertly.

    • TJ Barke

      He’s probably about to be indicted.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Your lips to gawd’s ear

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Jeff on a Shelf said “I do declare, I don’t like the Kush.”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Okay, I just giggle-snorted coffee up my nose. Jeff on a Shelf. You slay me.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Spoiler: He’s filming you.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      It was, but he didn’t solve it in 30 days. So Trump put his best people on it.

      Also the budget is only $56,000, so it was raided in a day.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “Jared, you had just one bazillion jobs!”

  • marxalot
  • BMW
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
      • teele

        I started reading The Shock Doctrine during the Cheney years. I only made it through 3 or 4 chapters before becoming terrified to the point of physical illness. I haven’t been able to finish it, although I still have it and occasionally pick it up, look at it, and then put it back down as the chills start running up my spine.

  • Ricky Gay

    Trump, Kellyanne, GOP, et al, are making me want to do opiods.
    So, win/win? :(

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      KaC is the one on the….left? I think?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Both. The pic on the right is KaC without makeup–right after molting.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Yes! Yes, I see it now.

    • DerrickWildcat

      Salt Sucker!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Libelz!

  • ariel_gee_398

    It takes will to walk away from a fat paycheck being offered to spin for a grifting, grabby senile old man who’s doing his level best to destroy the country, Kellyanne.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      The fact that we’re doubling down on a war against a plant that for millennia, they knew had natural healing properties, is arguably one of the biggest fuck-you statements to the First Nations that Donald J. Stuyvesant has ever done.

      I hope they Sioux him for every penny — er, ruble — he’s got.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Make him eat Crow.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Wamp ‘um real good.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Release the shako-Pee tapes, so we don’t have to spend an Otherday with him as prez. May-he-walk-a-ton… down the halls in JAIL.

  • jesuswasablack

    “And so pouring money into the problem is not the only answer”

    She’s right I mean changing one’s behavior is what’s important. Kellyanne was able to give up having a conscious or any sort of empathy for others, it didn’t necessarily require money she did it out of necessity, it was easy!

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/conway2.png

    • Lance Thrustwell

      We have progressed beyond taking cheap shots at people, especially women, for how they look.

      That is why I am not saying anything about Kellyanne’s appearance in this photograph.

      {pats self on back for admirable self-restraint}

      • SDGeoff3

        A perfect non-comment.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          {bows}

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I’ll just say that Paddington Bear (a refugee from an economically ravaged country in South America) wore it much better.

        https://us.hellomagazine.com/images/stories/1/2017/10/16/000/438/770/featured_5_3.jpg

        Props to Duchess Catherine with the Mary Tyler Moore look also too.

      • puredog

        I’d pat you on the butt but then I’d probably get fired.

      • Resistor Radio

        I feel comfortable saying that she has a diet pill addiction, beyond that I’m attempting restraint.

        • Or maybe just good old fashioned bulimia

          • Resistor Radio

            “Bulimia is so ‘87, Heather”

      • jesuswasablack

        We have?

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I’m all for ending the judgment of women on how sexxxable they are in the eyes of men… but these particular jabs ain’t about society’s sexist conception of beauty. Men can look like the Cryptkeeper on a bender also too.

      • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

        who’s taking cheap shots at how she looks? i’m taking cheap shots at her hideous fashion decision-making process

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mark Lindsay libel!

      • mailman27

        Well, she does revere Donald Trump.

  • ariel_gee_398

    If throwing money at problems doesn’t work, why are they considering a “tax” bill that throws money at corporations and the uberrich?

    • Jukesgrrl

      Details, details.

  • Major_Major_Major

    The Triumph of the Will? That’s what you’re going with, Methy the Nutcracker? Sounds like you might have hit upon a soltution. Maybe even the final one.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Can’t wait for Crystal Meth Nacht.

      • Resistor Radio

        Diet Pill Defenestration?

  • DerrickWildcat

    Now I’m ok with her being on CNN…so they can grill her about the epidemic.

    • puredog

      Grilled Conway. . .can’t eat, can’t fap to, can’t nuffin’.

      • Resistor Radio

        Worthless.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Say, aren’t a complete, glib, disingenuous personality and psychopathic lying symptoms of addiction? To power, in this case. Just say NO!

  • shastakoala

    I hate being schooled by someone who has no idea what they’re talking about.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      #Derpsplaining

  • Poly_Ester

    Coming soon! “Triumph of the Will – The Sequel” Directed, produced and starring Kellyannw Conway

  • K-turn

    “So if we can keep them from going on and maybe by talking to youth and telling them: No good, really bad for you in every way. But if they don’t start, it will never be a problem.” Uhm, where to begin? You do know, don’t you, that many people become addicted, not through recreational use, but because they’ve had serious surgeries or injuries that require prescription-strength pain relief? And depending on their own unique metabolism which has NOTHING to do with will power, they become addicted and are unable to stop after the medical need is gone?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I guess you could go around to high schools and colleges saying “Don’t play football,” but then the economically anxious Trump supporters really would get off their couches and riot. That thur is blasphemy. The LAWD gave us Sunday to watch them thar chilluns gettin’ thar knees ripped up an’ thar brains bashed in!

  • The Oxy crisis: a play in one act:

    Pharma guy: Man, I just saw this thing on the drug cartels. It’s pretty sad.

    Pharma guy 2: Yeah, the devastation of drugs is pretty awful. The violence, the way it destroys families and corrupts governments.

    Pharma guy: Uh, yeah… I mean it’s sad that we’re not able to get a cut of that money, have you seen some of those cartel leaders’ houses and yachts? They’re incredible.

    Pharma guy 2: Well, what if… what if we bought some opium, mixed it together with some random shit called it a pain reliever and gave it a different name. We get it FDA approved and then we can legally sell it.

    Pharma guy: Brilliant!

    Later…

    Pharma guy: Okay, so we need an ad campaign aimed at doctors to get them pushing this shit. Do you have any scruples?

    Ad man: Nope.

    One media campaign later…

    Ridiculously attractive saleswoman: Hey doc, want to push oxy for us?

    Doctor: I’ll do it for the slim to none chance that you’ll sleep with me.

    Patient: My back is killing me, Doc.

    Doctor: Have some oxy.

    Patient: Okay… I feel good, but I feel really bad if I stop taking it.

    DEA: Did you say you felt good after you took it? No more for you!

    Patient: Okay, I guess I’ll go buy it from a guy I know.

    Kelly Ann: JUST SAY NO, HONEY! JUST SAY NO!

    Patient: I can’t. I am literally addicted to opium now. You don’t have any do you?

    Kelly Ann: Of course I do. It’s the only thing that silences the voice in my head that keeps saying I’m a monster.

    Patient: That would be your conscience. Well, can the government at least pay for my rehab? I don’t want to die.

    Kelly Ann: Whatever druggie. If we paid for everyone’s rehab, President Trump might actually have to pay taxes. You are so selfish, Mister.

  • azeyote

    fentanyl overdose doesn’t kill everyone, some people are left just looking like they’re the walking dead with decaying thoughts, and rot spewing from their mouths –

    • Jeff Ackerman

      Kellyanne?

  • alpacapunchbowl

    “Also takes a four letter word called will”
    The Trump administration’s drug policy boils down to encouraging a Triumph of the Will.
    Fucking fantastic.

  • Jgb979
    • (((Aron)))

      Christ, I really needed that sleep I just lost.

      THANKS, JERK

      ;)

  • aureolaborealis

    What if this administration makes me do more drugs?

    • bubbuhh

      Then make sure you use legally prescribed drugs so some rich guys get their cut

  • aureolaborealis

    I knew I had officially gotten old when:
    1) doctors started freely offering opioids to me, and, more tellingly
    2) I started saying no.

    • doctors started freely offering opioids to me

      I’d recommend changing doctors. Those are called “shills”.

      Tylenol, Motrin just as effective in treating pain in ER patients as opioids
      http://www.denverpost.com/2017/11/07/tylenol-motrin-effective-treating-pain-er-patients-as-opioids/

      • (((Aron)))

        Maybe, maybe not.

        When I had my deviated septum repaired, OTC anagesics just didn’t cut it. I needed the Oxycodone I had been prescribed.

        Opiates have their place. They always will.

        • Jukesgrrl

          I agree. Personally, I hate opioids. They have untenable side effects for me. But to say Tylenol or Motrin is as effective in stopping debilitating pain is absurd.

          • Jay Hansen

            Placebenol? Tylenol is the only sugar pill with dire side effects.

          • aureolaborealis

            Word in the recovery community is the tylenol-ibuprofen combo is as good as pain-relief gets without risking addiction.

          • Jay Hansen

            Hoo-boy, the liver-kidney one-two punch. Make mine cannabis.

          • aureolaborealis

            Much safer than doubling the dose of either, especially tylenol.

          • aureolaborealis

            What I really don’t get is percocet, which is really the liver one-two punch. Two ingredients, either of which can toast your liver, taken, and sometimes abused, together.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Synergistic effect — more than the sum of the parts. Had Tooth Impaction From Hell, can confirm.

          • aureolaborealis

            My last opioid prescription introduced me to the ‘morphine’ itch, which I didn’t care for. Also, the not-being-able-to-shit, which I liked even less.

          • (((Aron)))

            Yeah. It rather ignores the basic neurological function of opium.

        • Jay Hansen

          Really?! For the same procedure, I was offered oxycodone, but since it makes me extremely nauseous, I refused it and found I didn’t need it. I had very little pain from the procedure. The cyst removed from behind my ear was quite another story. Viciously painful, and no oxycodone available.

          • (((Aron)))

            Yeah, there was a lot of work that had to be done, and the recovery was not fun.

            Sorry to hear about your cyst! That sounds awful.

        • aureolaborealis

          Yep. Sinus surgery was the last time they were offered and I accepted. Even weak opioids didn’t cut it. I started doubling my dose and called in to tell them I would continue that indefinitely if they didn’t get me something more effective, which they did. Had I been 25, I think they would have just told me to go fuck myself.

          • (((Aron)))

            Yup. That week of recovery just wasn’t that fun.

        • Jay Hansen

          Yes indeed they will. I have a hard time moralizing about addiction to the terminal cancer patient. Heroin would be particularly good for that. When my grandmother was dying of pancreatic cancer, she was given morphine, which caused hallucinations and bizarre behavior. Heroin is reputed not to do that, and it might have made my grandmothers last few months much more pleasant.

          • (((Aron)))

            I completely agree.

      • aureolaborealis

        Nope. Regular doctors. Not offering opioids for everything, but no longer shy about offering them for extreme pain. When I was young, no one ever offered unless I had just had surgery. And I always said yes, and I usually didn’t waste them on pain-management.

      • blaid droog

        You’ve been brainwashed by chuckie shroomer.

  • Vel Venturi

    Coming in 2018: Kellyanne Riefenstahl’s ‘The Triumph of the Pill’

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    IQ45 probably has her on the payroll. This way he can have the government pay her salary like we do for his other shills.

  • Blackest Noobs

    so a couple of things:
    1) we’ve tried the PR approach before with Nancy Raygun; it didn’t work then, doesn’t work now
    2) This is not about drug dealers pushing their wares on the junkies on the corner
    3) This is about BIG PHARM and their ability to influence..i.e. $$$…doctors to over prescribe pain killers
    4) This is about our society and its culture of overindulgence of self indulgence
    5) the best more effective solution…legalization of recreational drugs and letting marijuana be used for medical purposes

    • blaid droog

      Keep your grubby paws off my overindulgence while I self indulge. It took 15 minutes out of my day just to get one of my 5 doks to write a scrip and another 15 getting it filled. The cruelest part was having to pay the whole five fiddy out my own pocket.

  • Jared had to turn the Opiod Crisis over to KaC because he’s too busy deleting his bot accounts.
    https://thetrumplist.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/stealth-data-machine1.png?w=522

    • Red Bird

      Yrs. With the help of Brad Parscale.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I excitedly await Brad Parscale’s indictment. I hate that guy.

        • Parscale hired Robert Mercer’s “Computational Propaganda” firm “Cambridge Analytical”.

          We need to get to the root of the problem and put the Robert Mercers of the world in prison.

          • Red Bird

            We need to exile them to a libertarian “paradise” in the middle of Antarctica.

  • Jukesgrrl
    • The last one works for me.

      I DON’T NEED DRUGS IMMA SOOOO HIGH ON LIFE

    • TundraGrifter

      Get on the phone
      And call Sherlock Holmes!

    • blaid droog

      I like the dominatrix best. A little pain justifies the oxy. And she can leave her hat on.

  • Jukesgrrl

    The last time I went to my orthopedic doctor, the nurse took my blood pressure as she always does. I asked her if my usually normal pressure would be considered high under the newly issued revised numbers. She laughed and replied, “We’re not using those. The drug companies are just pushing those numbers so they can sell more blood pressure medicine. Don’t worry. You’re fine.” Isn’t that reassuring? Even medical professionals are freely admitting the drug companies are hypocritical shills.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Jukesgrrl, I’ve been reading the new guidelines with my usual skepticism. Do you, or any other Wonketeers, have a link to detailed, reliable information about the possibility of the drug companies pushing unrealistic numbers?

  • Mormos

    why is the GOP solution to every problem either tax cuts or ignore it and hope it goes away?

  • ken_kukec

    “Human Death Rictus” — Jesus, Dok, lemme know when you’re gonna drop a line like that, so I can go pee first.

  • Bitter Scribe

    How hard can it be to digitally add some more recent clothes to the gal from that “This is your brain on drugs” ad they already have in the vault?

    Didn’t that gal, years later, acknowledge that “just say no” was a bunch of bullshit?

    • caitifty

      The research on it said it was really effective at normalizing drug use to teens (ie made teenagers more likely to try drugs) but *really* effective at convincing scared parents that they should support ‘tough on drugs’ legislation which was a real plus for the private prison industry (who were probably, and this is where I drift from data to speculation, financially supporting the Partnership for a Drug Free America, who created those idiot ads).

    • TundraGrifter

      It is my understanding there has no scientific evidence to back up the contention that programs such as DARE work. On the other hand, there is considerable empirical evidence they are not just ineffective – they are actually counter effective.

  • Reximus

    Addiction is bad, including to self-aggrandisement

  • mardam422

    KAC is too qualified to lead us out of this epidemic of opiod overusage!!! Her brother cooks meth in a trailer back home!!

  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • mardam422

    WH Advisor: President Trump, we need to find someone to head the new opiod epidemic response. Here is a list of qualified people.
    Trump: This is a lot of paper!! KellyAnne, have been on Fox yet this morning?
    KAC: No Sir.
    Trump: OK. And you aren’t currently addicted to opiods, right?
    KAC: No Sir.
    Trump: And I know you know how to say “No”. You just did…twice I think.
    KAC: But Mr. President, I have no exper…
    Trump: It’s settled then.

  • Ghoti theLinguist

    I’ll buy and consume a bottle of Dom Perignon the day this vile meth-head skank is frogmarched out of the White House in cuffs.

    • SDGeoff3

      Make that two of us.

      • Incoming Ham

        Three. I’ll even spring for a ’65 vintage (decent year).

    • AmusedAmused

      If that happens, I’ll buy Dom Perignon for everyone on my block.

  • blaid droog

    For those of us that are terminally addicted to toxic opioid substances, this is excellent news. I’ve been trying to just say no for 50 years,then along comes some pusher offering me a free bump and my “will” just vanishes like early morning mist.

    • h4rr4r

      Free drugs?
      I don’t believe you.

  • Darrin Ziliak

    All it takes is will?

    It’s a Triumph of the Will..

    • Hesavebread!

      Came for this, not disappoint.

  • Migueldebaq

    This entire site seems to populated by mentally ill Dyk_s and castrated beta-male eununchs.

    Enjoy, neo-marxist scum!!!

    • Marceline

      You’re allowed to spell out the word “dicks” here.

      • Walter Wellstone

        I think he meant dykes but he’s too much of a pussy to actually spell it.

    • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

      How exactly does one castrate a eunuch?

      • Incoming Ham

        Maybe he means “masturbate?”

      • Marceline

        Not a eunuch. A eununch. Basically a nun who’s a eunuch.

      • AmusedAmused

        He was absent from his classes in Moscow when they taught about redundancies.

        • Rickyphoo

          And it was clearly marked:
          Department of Redundancy Department

    • subatomic

      Why are you posting this moronic crap on multiple threads?

    • Awww you cheered me up no end you little ray of sunshine.

    • TimResistit

      Someone got their little tiki torch in a twist.

    • Delu

      And here we had another trolls who was asking “Y ALL DA INSULTS HERE!”

      Apparently they come from his fellow trolls.

      EDIT: In Wonkette Russia, Forum trolls you!

    • natoslug

      We will, Sr. Cockgoblin.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Wrong place: we’re not your relatives. Fuck off.

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      I think you’re looking in the mirror. This is the window.

    • Tania

      Then why are you here? Did you bring a recipe to share?

  • Marceline

    The opioid epidemic overwhelmingly affects Trump voting people, communities, and states so I’m just fine with this. Those people deserve to have their fates in the hands of that desiccated harridan.

    Yes, I know that’s a hateful thing to say but that’s who I am now.

    • Walter Wellstone

      True dat.

    • AmusedAmused

      Especially since they’ll vote for Trump no matter what.

  • Incoming Ham

    I am sure there is some department or project that he can appoint Beavis and Butthead* to run.

    *Not referring to Don Jr. and Eric.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    With her and $60,000 you can have a bad weekend in Vegas.

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      bad/good..in vegas, is same thing

  • Deplorable DKAG7

    Trump is your president… deal with it

    • Not for much longer!
      You gonna cry when they lead him off? I bet you will. I bet you will cry AND wank it at the same time

    • natoslug

      Is he your President, snowflake?

    • Walter Wellstone

      No, he’s your president. Go suck his dick.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      We are. Mueller is taking care of that hot mess for us. He’s gonna be Times Hero Man of the year!

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      Putin is yours. Sucks to be you.

  • CATMAN

    Let’s look on the bright side–at least Kellyanne didn’t advocate throwing addicts in jail so they can kick their habits in the worst possible place and without medical care, but just give her time as I am sure she will think this up on her own pretty soon

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    Oh now, its not a public health crisis, disaster, issue etc. Lets call it a “Public Health Experience”. When you put it that way, its better! See?!

  • Walter Wellstone

    Wasn’t Prince Jared going to get that bitch fixed right away? Why is Smellyanne sticking her bony nose into this? What does Ivanka have to say about that?

  • ez

    Just say Rat Park when the ill informed say ‘just say no’. You can read about this classic behavioural experiment here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Park or go with the fun version below

    http://www.stuartmcmillen.com/comic/rat-park/

  • Internet Hitler

    It’s all a big problems.

  • JCfromNC

    So… staying in line with the rest of Donnie’s appointments whose actual jobs seem to be dismantling whatever they’ve been put in charge of, I’m gonna be expecting Kellyanne to personally mail me a year’s supply of opioids by the end of the year.

  • guppy06

    Thirty-three thousand of whom opioid-related. It’s a gateway to heroin use, fentanyl, carfentanil. It’s all a big problems.

    Um…

    Did she just say opioids are a gateway to opioids?

    I don’t think she was paying very close attention when Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III told her that it was all marijuana’s fault.

  • VirginiaMorningBlend

    So is she filling all the scripts now and is she in my network? Or is she staying back alley like always. Sure drive up is more expensive but you’re paying for the convenience. And no time consuming doctor visits needed.

  • Manders

    He coudl dig up the dessicated corpse of Nancy Reagan and motorize her to repeat “Just Say No!” That would be about as effective as having this particular dessicated corpse handle opiods.

    Although I do hope every reporter/talking head from now on constantly interrupts her: “How’s the opiod crisis going, Kel? Lots of dead people, Kel–sure you have time for this?”

  • Belasaurius

    People are going to die from this decision and that orange sack of shit and his psychopathic friends don’t care

  • KenTFM

    WTF? Is Ben “Doc McStabbins” Carson too busy?

  • Lily412

    “Human Death Rictus”

    Holy crap, please tell me someone didn’t already claim this for their band name. Metal. as. FUCK.

  • David Chaillou

    I think the idea is she just goes on TV and just says “Look what happens when you do drugs”. Could work*

    (*) I’m referring to her rambling speech pattern, delusional beliefs and compulsive nail-biting, of course, not her physique, which is not allowed and actually isn’t any scarier than Ann Coulter’s anyway.

  • Moar Wordz

    3 letters

  • lynchie

    My suggestion is to put Kellyanne’s picture on all packaging for Fentayl, Oxcycontin, etc. that should scare the living shit out of any one considering using.
    Her picture with the line of type
    Don’t use it you will end up looking like this washed out meth head

  • She’s worse than the “Smoking kills” cigarette packaging.

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