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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Earlier this month Jared Kushner had a chat with Robert Mueller about Mike Flynn so Kushner could clear up a few inconsistencies that had surfaced since he suddenly started remembering things.

A New York-based comedian who dabbles in fringe politics and drug policy is the link between Trump’s ratfucking Nixonian hatchet man, Roger Stone, and Wikileaks Julian Assange, AKA the world’s worst houseguest.

The Senate was able to push the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich) through committee on a party line vote where, with greased palms and the prospect of a fucked up electoral system that favors the wealthy, it will now be brought to the Senate floor for people to try and stick on extra riders and pork.

One of the tax riders progressive groups are staring at with wide-eyed fear is quiet calls from Republicans to drill, baby, drill in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve.

The GOP is hoping to force Democrats into supporting their budget resolution by blaming them for any kind of government shutdown due to their staunch support for DACA. Typical, whenever there’s a dirty job, rich people always get a Messican.

House Republicans are pissed at their Senate counterparts after staffers at the National Republican Senate Committee stoled donor information from the National Republican Congressional Committee, and then started quietly begging them for cash.

Barry Myers, Trump’s pick to head NOAA, broke free of his brain cage, stating that he believes humans are the cause of climate change.

Due to his inability to comprehend good fiscal policy, Trump has tapped Fed critic Marvin Goodfriend to be the Fed Governor.

Trump went to a very affluent and very white suburb of St. Louis yesterday to do a campaign-style rally for a bunch of zealots where he bitched about Sen. Claire McCaskill’s weakness on crime, despite her history as a sex crimes prosecutor.

Even though there’s nobody heading the Office of National Drug Control Policy, or money to refill the coffers of the national public health emergency fund for the opioid crisis, Kellyanne Conway is your new opioid czar.

Incensed about his inability to lock away all the Appalachian dope fiends, Jeff Sessions is expanding a new division of the DEA to seek and destroy hillbilly heroin use among the mountain folk in Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia.

Trump is twiddling his thumbs and mulling over outright support for Roy Moore; maybe he’ll make some robocalls and support an ALLEGED pedophile, maybe he won’t.

According to Roy Moore, the reason you keep hearing about all his ALLEGED pedophillia is all the “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender…socialists who want to change our way of life and put man above God…”

Back in the old-timey days of 2011, Roy Moore co-authored a course about governmenting and lawyering that tells students womenfolk shouldn’t vote or hold office, and that there is a moral obligation not to vote for ladies who wander from the kitchen. You can find it on Amazon.

Erik Prince is no fan of Jeff Sessions due to his continued prosecution of four Blackwater mercenaries convicted of killing more than a dozen Iraqi civilians in 2007, with one former merc calling Sessions a “big, giant wussy and never has there been a more spineless, worthless guy holding that chair than him.”

Don Blankenship, the former CEO of Massey Energy who just finished a stint in prison for his role in a mine explosion that killed almost 30 people in 2010, announced his run for the Senate in West Virginia.

Atlantic City is considering demolishing Trump’s old Atlantic City trash palace and casino, but it’s concerned about all the asbestos and whether or not to turn it into a gambling-free “greenscape.”

In response to North Korea’s latest missile test, UN Ambassador Nikki Haley called for nations to “cut off all ties with North Korea,” including diplomatic, commercial, military and scientific relationships.

There’s mounting evidence that US special forces were involved in the massacre of 10 Somali civilians back in August. This is good journalism.

Gaymosexual Not American futball fans traveling to Russia for the 2019 World Cup are being warned not to engage in PDA due to Russia’s strict laws banning the indoctrination lasers that brainwash youths into fabulous homosex cults.

London Mayor Sadiq Khan issued a statement condemning Trump’s tweets of an anti-Muslim extremist group, and stating that “any official visit at all from President Trump to Britain would not be welcomed.”

The UK will cough up more cash to divorce itself from the EU, bringing the new potential total of the payout for the Brexit to $53 billion.

Michigan Democratic Rep. John Conyers doesn’t plan to resign, and will instead stick around and fight allegations that he’s a gross old man.

Alleged rape monster Matt Lauer issued a statement after being fired over allegations that he’s a rape monster. It’s over here, if you want to read it.

Terry Crews says that big-time Hollywood agent Adam Venit is getting a pass for grabbing his bits at a Hollywood party, and he was afraid that opening up a can of whoopass would label him as a big, violent black man and kill his career.

The SCOTUS seemed warm to limiting the ability of law enforcement agencies to pull private information and cell-tower phone records on suspects without requiring more proof.

Congressional investigators want Twitter to cough up information on 45 Russian bot accounts that had a tendency to push pro-Trump propaganda until they were ID’d and later suspended.

The LA Weekly saw all of its editorial staff but one fired as part of a takeover by a still-unknown ownership group. Stay strong!

The neo-Nazi couple the New York Times tried to humanize have been “You’re Fired” from their respective gigs, and now they may lose their house; naturally they’re begging for people to pay their bills on a Nazi crowdfunding site. No kidding? “GoyFundMe.”

The New York Times’s favorite Trump reporter, Maggie Haberman, had some talky time on CNN where she stated Trump has “unmoored” and is now just losing shit. Maggie is late to the plot.

Trump’s aides have pretty much given up trying to control his Twitter habits, instead opting to try and bury offensive tweets with a bunch of bullshit.

Back in the 2000s, Trump was doing an interview with some golf magazine where he bragged about “first rate pussy,” being super rich, and having friends who were later convicted of running a ring of “sex slaves,” before bitching about “feeling fat” and throwing his golf clubs in the water.

Geraldo Rivera issued an apology after Fox News issued an apology for his tweets that attempted to mansplain how we should be dealing with awful rape monsters like Matt Lauer and Harvey Weinstein.

James O’Keefe was talking to some cranks-in-training at Southern Methodist University last night, and comforted the poor, afflicted youths, like the kid who was forced to undergo sensitivity training for insulting gay people in high school. Then he showed a sizzle reel and clips of Hannity and DJTJ giving him shoutouts.

WaPo is following the trail of Jaime Phillips, the shitty spyreporter” James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas had been using to try to infiltrate media outlets and colleges.

Reporters are considering whether or not to attend the White House Holiday Christmas party…because of deadlines. It’s definitely deadlines. Also, just to be shitty, they didn’t invite April Ryan.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert doesn’t think Matt Lauer should try to mansplain sexual harassment with dildosJames Corden explained why Britain First is so awful; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump’s tax cuts (for the super rich)The Daily Show talked about Mick Mulvaney moving into the CFPBJordan Klepper has a damn good breakdown of why we need net neutrality.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Baby Sulawesi crested macaques!

We need money, damn it! Cough it up or you won’t get any more newses!

Follow Dominic on Twitter and send him fuzzy little animal babies!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Gayer Than Thou

    I have heard that running will make your uterus fall out, so it stands to reason that running for office would be equally as bad for you.

    • I go running every day in these because I’m comfortable with half-frozen manhood.
      https://www.amazon.com/MJ-Soffe-Mens-Running-Short/dp/B003AU5W5K

      • BadKitty904

        I run in onion-skin nylon shorts, ’cause a.) it’s hot as dammit in Florida, even at sunrise; b.) we often get caught in the rain and running in wet cotton sux.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        So does my oldest, even when he visits Boston in early March.

  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      That seems … dangerous.

      • janecita

        Just a tad.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          flying in mountain currents?….tricky af…altho they clearly picked the perfect day, but still….yikes

    • janecita

      Impressive, and stupid as fuck!

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      oh, that is so fucking cool….and dangerous…my virtual 30-yr-old-brain says ‘i gotta do that’, but my actual 61-yr-old body says ‘not a chance in hell, pal’

      • From Russia with Love

        I have successfully made it my life’s work to jump neither in nor out of an aerospace vehicle.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          success!…i’ve thought about skydiving several times over the years but never got around to it, and now…looks too painful…and as every self-respecting pilot or aero-engineer would ask…’why in the hell would you jump out of a perfectly good airplane?’…but til now, none of us ever thought about jumping into one!

    • Parakeetist

      Eek

    • OneYieldRegular

      Well. That was better than most Bond films.

  • Nounverb911
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      That cosmetic surgery just gets better and better with age, doesn’t it?!

      • janecita

        Sarcasm?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Moi? You have to ask?

          • janecita

            Sorry, I need more caffeine.

      • shastakoala

        Since when are they sewing strands of hair to their foreheads?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mother does not approve.

      EDIT: “The Secret Service agent practically swooned and fainted when she walked up to him and started pressing her finger on his badge. Pam said, ‘I’d like to meet the vice president.’”

      Is that what the kids are calling it?

    • janecita

      Isn’t Pam Anderson fucking Julian Assange?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Dear God. Please tell me they are unable to successfully breed.

        • janecita

          Let’s hope that menopause has saved us all.

    • From Russia with Love

      Would have worked if Bill was still in office.

  • Rick Hill

    I’m a pretty chill kind of guy but I’m thinking we all need to start Samuel L Jacksoning this motherfcker up.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a88O226_460s.jpg

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Msgr_MΩment

      $69? So Ben is a thirteen-year old, huh?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        12 1/2.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I’m guessing 5, but maybe we’re talking different units of measure.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            Inches or IQ points?

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Yes.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      In his defense, I’m not a Bernie guy, but there are days I could use those virtual reality goggles to forget this nightmare. If only for a few moments.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’m confused about who on my gift-giving list the “dumb phone” would be good for. Most of the people in my acquaintance who are unable to master a smartphone are the same people I suspect of having voted for Twitler.

      • Dutchman

        Easy answer. If you even suspect them of having voted for Twitler, place them on the naughty list and obtain chunks of lignite coal.

    • janecita

      Is Ben Garrison supposed to be funny?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Only to those who don’t understand humor. Although I do like the “Hillraiser” funny, not for the cartoon, but that he is still obsessed with her.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Garrison must laugh himself sick when drawing his ‘cartoons’ then.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • SeeTrain65

      I don’t know how he does it.

      Other people with psychosis this deep usually can’t even get out of bed.

  • OrG

    The World Cup is in 2018.

    • Parakeetist

      Thank God

    • From Russia with Love

      Too bad about the host country.

  • Nounverb911

    SO Jerry Rivers had to apologize, maybe it’s because he likes to pile on in the end….
    https://twitter.com/TheDailyShow/status/935987139522777088

    • schmannity

      Assistant District Attorney is a flirty business

      –Roy Moore

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      news is a flirty business, huh, gerry?…i’m guessing he’s the next one to get called out

    • From Russia with Love

      “it seems like current epidemic of SexHarassmentAllegations may be criminalizing courtship & conflating it w predation.”

      Courtship? Jerry, you are one stupid motherfucker. Generally speaking, I did not have to lock girls in my office when I was “courting.” Did you?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Flirty business”, my ass! What part of producing a newscast requires anybody to be a creep-stain sex monster? Nobody needs to whip their dick out to interview a celebrity or read the headlines.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Kellyanne Conway is your new opioid czar.

    it’s a dumb question in the Trump era, but her qualificaitons are WHAT exactly?

    • Nounverb911

      Heavy opioid use?

      • SeeTrain65

        Damn. Even with the new account I’m too damn slow. ; )

    • She certainly knows a lot about wandering around in a fugue.

      • Nounverb911
        • btwbfdimho

          A minor Toccata & Fugue: girls running away while Roy Moore is at the shopping mall.

      • dslindc

        If that’s the requirement, Sister Peggy Noonan should be the new Czar.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        And not the one in D minor.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          the saddest of all keys

      • arglebargle

        Her brain is baroque.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Proximity to Trump when he was deciding who to put in charge.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Addictive personality? [Power, money, influence]

    • Gayer Than Thou

      The thought of her would make anyone turn to opioids?

      Wait, is she supposed to decrease opioid use?

      • Paul

        Rush Limpballs will be her first miracle cure.

    • dslindc

      Qualifications? What are you, a communist? We only care that people are loyal to the orange shitgibbon!

    • Doug Langley
    • PubOption

      She can be sent out to say that opioid use is decreasing since Trump came into office. It would probably be another alternative fact.

    • SeeTrain65

      If I had a guess, it would be heavy opioid use.

    • btwbfdimho

      Czar Conway? A threat of her kisses will run the drug lords away. https://mattsko.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/nicholas-ii-kissing-the-troops.gif?w=560

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    They should blow up the Trump Taj Mahal, leave a smoking crater filled with toxic debris, and call it a Trumpscape….pretty much a preview of the future of the rest of the country.

    • Trump’s already causing enough cancer.

    • janecita

      Atlantic City looks like that already.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Ask not what you can do for your country.” — #35
    “What the fuck do I care?” — #45

  • Bureaucrap

    Won’t SOMEBODY think of the billionaires???!!!???
    Oh, wait, everyone is.

  • Asterix

    Geraldo Rivera needed to disappear into the safe decades ago. Asshole.

  • Nounverb911

    So everyone knew? What about the execs at NBC?
    https://twitter.com/VanityFair/status/936233374351577088

    • Michael Smith

      Maybe if “everyone” knows someone is a predator, “everyone” should stop putting him on TV every morning and presenting him as a stand-up guy to an unwitting public that then feels disgusted for having watched this person for so long.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Ramen.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Poor guy. He was so lonely after his wife moved his family to the Hamptons, which really left him no choice to but to invite interns into his office, lock the door from his desk, and pull down his pants to expose himself. Anybody would’ve have done the same thing in that situation.

    • nightmoth

      The incidents were so frequent and egregious they had to have known. That would be WHY they passed on the Weinstein story.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m sure the rape lock button on his desk was a big fucking insider joke.

  • Bill D. Burger

    White House staff: “We can’t hold back the batshitcrazy any longer. Take your lawyer’s hand and run. Run for your lives!”

    https://i.imgur.com/m06qzt7.gif

    • dslindc

      Hands still a little too big there.

    • schmannity

      Release the Cracked Hen.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      History shows again and again
      How nature points out the folly of man.
      Trumpzilla.

      Yo ho ho ee oh
      I’d think he ought to go, go, go.
      Trumpzilla.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: A visitor in our office yesterday was talking about “curling,” which is apparently a “sport” Up There. I’m still not sure if I grasp its purpose…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/db38bccfb0d112acc027195a5f094fff03393f5a13aa901f2ad355395b3c4808.gif

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “And Sheila’s looking to catch a dead cat bounce in this round….”

      • BadKitty904

        No, Kitty’s tail and paw are both moving. He’s not dead, he’s just…(wait for it)…chill.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Curling would be far more interesting with lazy kittehs.

      • BadKitty904

        It prolly would!

    • Rick Hill

      Makes you wonder how bored you have to be to invent something like this, too

    • SeeTrain65

      Must be a five-team curl. You got five different colors of cats.

      Then again, it’s kind of hard to find red and yellow cats just for curling.

    • NotReallyHere

      “SWEEP!”

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Not even 1000 and I’m already totally enraged. This Twitter thread:

    Heyyy who wants to hear the story of why I'm crying in an airport on 3 hours of sleep? You? Gather round!— Amal El-Mohtar (@tithenai) November 30, 2017

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Ugh.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Indeed.

    • kilgoretrout

      Awful – fascist stupidity

  • Duke

    Buffoon-in-chief is claiming the tax cuts are bad for him. And why not? Some suckers will believe anything and he knows that.

    The biggest give-away to the rich isn’t the Estate Tax changes, it’s the repeal of the Alternate Minimum Tax. The fucker absolutely knows it.

    • shivaskeeper

      Changes to the S-Corp rules for pass though income will benefit him and the grifty spawn immensely as well. Odd, that.

      • BadKitty904

        A remarkable coincidence.

        • shivaskeeper

          Some would say that. Amazing how these things work out sometimes. It’s just one of those things.

          • BadKitty904

            You can’t explain that. Unless you’re not a Republican.

      • Duke

        I’m not sure that’s still in there. That’d be a give-away to accountants and lawyers, too, as everyone sets up a business instead of taking business income against their SSN.

        • shivaskeeper

          If Trump stands to make money off of it, it’s still there. Since almost every part, if not all parts, of the Trump Organization is closely held, he is fixing to make some serious money off of it.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    USING YOUR DESK SEX LOCK TO TRAP WOMEN IN YOUR OFFICE TO SHOW THEM YOUR DICK IS A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN A “FLAW” I KNOW CAPSLOCKING TO THE CHOIR BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRISTMAS.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Lauer is heaving a sigh of relief that nobody’s discovered the chloroform vents yet.

    • OneYieldRegular

      The day after he’s fired he decides to make his big apology proclamation? I mean, shouldn’t he first take 40 days or so to wander around in a desert detention?

  • Gosala

    OT: That nice Nazi the NYT likes so much? Yeah, he’s been fired.

    http://www.denverpost.com/2017/11/30/nazi-sympathizer-loses-job/

    • Duke

      “We never liked him anyway.”

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      That story that Dominic wrote about above?

      The neo-Nazi couple the New York Times
      tried to humanize have been “You’re Fired” from their respective gigs,
      and now they may lose their house; naturally they’re begging for people to pay their bills on a Nazi crowdfunding site. No kidding? “GoyFundMe.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        We are indeed marching to a faster pace.

  • schmannity

    Claire McCaskill and Doug Jones, former prosecutors–WEAK ON CRIME!

    Donald Trump, traitor, predator, sexual assaulter, sued 3500 times–LAW AND ORDER PRESIDENT

  • A co-worker brought in a big bag of RAMBUTANS this morning, thus enlightening me to the fact there still are some wonderful things out there to discover.

    There a lot like lychees, but they’re not lychees.

    BONUS: They look like big, hairy balls.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9961662866c0feb9d8497d19e30a9fb06cfd7458be0fb7531cad52b852ad073c.jpg

    • BIG HAIRY BALLS!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Are they schweddie?

    • I had cataract surgery on Tuesday.

      I would hesitate to eat those at this time.

    • schmannity

      Big hairy balls look itchy.

    • janecita

      Those things are so tasty!

    • SomeBigRedDog

      I can’t tell if those are animal, vegetable or mineral.

    • MynameisBlarney

      So…
      Must have been one hungry SOB to take a look at those and be all like, “My, but don’t those things that look like testicles with a rash sure look SCRUMPTIOUS!”

    • Gayer Than Thou

      True confession: I may be a traitor to my people, but I am not a fan of the balls.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Hand in your ghey card, GTT! AND your gym membership ID.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I’m already in trouble this year because I have failed to meet my quotas for both Opposite Marriages Destroyed and Natural Disasters Inflicted. If it weren’t for my high numbers on College Wrestlers/Rugby Players Ogled, I would be in hot water for sure.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            …and write on the blackboard 100 times, “I WILL seduce Mike Pence.”

          • Gayer Than Thou

            He at least is serving Race Bannon DILF realness. Among the GOP, it could be worse. Much, much worse.

          • Yellerduck

            It’s like looking in a mirror and saying “Bloody Mary”, you only have to write it three times and he magically appears.

        • I must agree with GTT.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I like them just fine, but I can see where they might seem like your best bud’s tagalong little brothers.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I mean, you’ve got steak right there – why am I being asked to focus on the potatoes?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      But when they’re held for pleasure,
      They’re the balls that I like best.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        “I believe that my big balls should be held, every night.”

    • Catstro

      My 3 year old is obsessed with rambutans and will cut a bitch for getting them mixed up with lychees. They’re…fine. Taste like a slightly firmer, peeled seedless white grape to me.

    • JohnBull
    • Little Lulu Ω

      A Vietnamese friend orders them by the case. They’re delicious!

  • Nounverb911

    Will you be inviting “Black Santa’ too, also?
    https://twitter.com/grynbaum/status/936236076976492545

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s only common courtesy to say, “Ooopsies!” during or after.

      • Major_Major_Major

        It’s like gotcha journaminimalism, but with dangly bits.

      • From Russia with Love

        No-notice dating.

    • BigCSouthside

      Why? Jesus she that desperate?

      • From Russia with Love

        Yes, even though her stock just went up a bunch.

  • Michael Smith

    “Erik Prince is no fan of Jeff Sessions due to his continued prosecution of four Blackwater mercenaries”

    Has anyone else noticed that when these conservative idiots find a reason to hate one of their own, it is always because they’ve found one tiny, possibly good thing that a guy has done? They are like cartoon villains from a 90’s kids show that openly argue over whether a colleague is “evil enough.”

    • nightmoth

      HAHAHA! Excellent point!

    • little miss high and mighty

      The Blackwaters will all have golden parachutes (following wrist slaps) and all end up IDF officers in posh villas with pools on the West Bank of the Jordan

      • Michael Smith

        Apparently that’s still unacceptable to Prince.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “He gave water to a stray puppy once. Inpeach!”

  • Parakeetist

    Where I live, it’s nine hours from dinner time, but I’m already thinking about it. That’s how shitty and disturbing this day’s news is.

    • Nounverb911

      What’s for dinner is usually the first thing my wife asks me in the morning.

      • OneYieldRegular

        “Wine” is my usual response to that question.

    • weighmaster

      I’m thinking chicken fried steak.

      • Major_Major_Major

        I’m thinking I’ll stop by around 6, then.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Damn it, now I am too.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Msgr_MΩment

        Half of me wants to incorporate that gif into my lecture on Conservation of Mechanical Energy. This is why I can’t have the nice things.

      • PubOption

        Is that Harry Reid’s daughter?

      • BigCSouthside

        That had to hurt so fucking bad

    • Parakeetist

      Anxiety drug sellers are making a kajibbity zillion dollars.

    • Bill D. Burger
  • “I am the President. I don’t care about anything anymore.” – trump in Missouri.

    This trump quote needs to go on his radioactive tombstone.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Wow. That’s General Jack D. Ripper territory. We’re in serious trouble.

    • calliecallie

      One question: will his tombstone be made of radioactive material to keep people away, or will it be radioactive because Kim Jong Un bombed the shit out of us?

      • My fear is that trump will invariably get someone to bomb the shit out of us.

        • Trump will bomb the shit out of us HIMSELF.

          (By “us” I mean the big cities full of libruls and furrners.)

  • AmusedAmused

    “Jeff Sessions is expanding a new division of the DEA to seek and destroy hillbilly heroin use among the mountain folk in Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia.”

    Yeah, I’m sure their takeaway from this will be that they should vote Republican even more harderer.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “Gotta save those dumbfuck white trash voters that consistently vote against their own self interests or we’re screwed!”

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I’d think keeping them on opiates would work better for keep their support.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Trump is the opiate of the methers.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Talk about “an assault on your base.”

      • little miss high and mighty

        It’s Republican for triangulation

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Two letters for you, Jeff-Bo. M. J.

    • Yellerduck

      Wow. Government agents patrolling the Appalachians for contraband; hasn’t this been done before?

  • Nounverb911

    It’s a day ending with a “Y” isn’t it?
    https://twitter.com/inthemoodfortw/status/936199087023673344

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    To be fair I do need one of those Lauer Locks in my office. Not to show Chubby Stubby off to others, but to create a safe space if I ever need to self-immolate to avoid hearing another on of my boss’s pointless stories.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      What the FUCK?!?!???

      • Rick Hill

        Srsly. The more you see into the families of these rich fcks and how they think and act…….

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Even if such a thought crossed your mind for some bizarre reason, why the HELL would you put on a public social media site?!?

          • Rick Hill

            And think this is the way to make your point in that argument…..

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      WHAT 2 year old thinks to ask if a teacher would go anywhere nude?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And what kind of school takes 2 year olds? Especially those with the yooge yooge Trump IQ gene?

        • Ghenghis McCann

          They have to start early to try and keep up with the other kids.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Can’t start grifting classes too early. The little tyke was taking all the other kindergartners lunch money running a three card monte scam three years later.

      • greyXstar

        The 2 year old didn’t think to do that. Dumb Dumb told him to. Guaranteed.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Geez, he’s really pushing back hard against the recent public verdict that Eric is the stupid one.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “Now you be sure and ask your teacher to come to the house naked after school. Okay? Can you remember that?”

      “Yes daddy.” *nanny enters, takes child to school*

      DJT Jr ribs hands together, smiling “Worth a shot. That chick is HAWT!”

      • OneYieldRegular

        Ugh. That is just a wee bit far too plausible.

    • OneYieldRegular

      If you’re asking hypotheticals like that, you should get into therapy asap.

    • JohnBull

      Why not? It’s not like teachers deal with enough screamy kids and moronic parents already. What’s another visit to the guidance counselor?

    • schmannity
    • Daniel

      They’re really very stupid.

  • Doug Langley

    I already posted this on the open thread, but it should be listed under news of the day anyway. Our artificial intelligence revolution isn’t exactly going as planned . . .

    https://www.balloon-juice.com/2017/11/30/thursday-morning-open-thread-when-the-going-gets-weird/

    • Bill D. Burger

      Damn! Eventually I want to expand my Oculus development kit 2 and combine it with A I to get away from Friday’s news drops. This is just a bump in the road.

  • Indeniable Ron

    As promised, I am keeping away from the shitshow today. In fact, I’m not even making this comment. But of course you knew that.
    Keep the faith, baby!

    • nightmoth

      Have a good day!

  • OneYieldRegular

    “…where he bitched about Sen. Claire McCaskill’s weakness on crime, despite because of her history as a sex crimes prosecutor.”

    FTFY.

  • Michael Smith

    I really can’t think of a legitimate reason that you might give to a contractor to install a door lock on your desk.

    However, I would have assumed he was using it for porn purposes. That’s bad enough, but the thing for which he was actually using the lock would not have crossed my mind.

    • miss_grundy

      The only reason NBC would have door lock buttons installed on offices is if they didn’t think their security system was adequate to stop people from trying to take the building, so they allow their high-priced talent to lock their doors from their desks and hide in their offices in case of an attack. But Lauer and probably other men in the executive suites found another way to use the button.

  • The only person in media I can think of offhand who should definitely attend the White House Christmas party is Hamilton Nolan.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Deadpool.

      • I’m not sure he’s a person really, or in the media, but if we’re at least going fictional then Spider Jerusalem would be my fictional mediate of choice.

    • From Russia with Love

      And maybe Colin Kaepernick. You know his middle name is Rand.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Tishalicious

        Spicer libelz!

      • miss_grundy

        He should do that once Mueller starts speaking, since he is connected to Russiagate.

      • Marc Berrenson

        I was recently informed by an otherwise totally unreliable source on a NOT FAKE NEWS site (Fox and Friends), that it has been well documented that Vice President, Mike Pence, is, in reality, a first generation humanoid robot, created by a Russian operative who is believed to be the love child of a weekend tryst between Sarah Pallin and Rupert Murdoch. According to my source, the Pallin-Murdoch progeny is something of an idiot savant (not sure about the savant part), with expertise in computer animated robotics for espionage use in third world countries. This guy was the darling of the KGB until a regime change caused him to fall on hard times. Experts from the Putin University of Scholarly Studies commissioned a report concluding that the Pence robotic framework was antiquated and without any means of upgrading (pre WiFi). The robot maker was ultimately relegated to a small office in the Gulag where he remains, along with hundreds of other burned-out Russian hackers, chained to his computer. The Pence robot, despite its obvious robotic origins, remains in service.

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          A- You left out the part about Palin’s egg and Murdock’s sperm being implanted in Phyllis Schafly, who carried Mikey to term.

        • Yellerduck

          Have you sent this to the Alex Jones tip line? He’d probably run with it.

          • Marc Berrenson

            Since it wasn’t about the FAKE NEWS fabricating the horrendous slaughter of women, men and small children, I didn’t think he’d be interested.

  • wait! what?
  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Kellyanne Conway will get all the opioids off the street and into her purse.

  • LadyLaz

    I highly recommend donating dolla’ bills; Queen Wonkette emailed me a nice thank you note. And it was personal because I called her crazy and she wrote back.

    I have it saved ;)

  • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

    Not to make light of the opioid crisis (which has touched my family directly), but.
    If you stop pacifying the hillbillies with heroin, will they start getting even angrier about the many many ways they’re being f*cked six ways to Sunday with no lube? That doesn’t sound like a great idea either – unless your whole plan is to unleash a white-trash army against us urban elites and the POC who they’re told are the cause of it all. That wouldn’t be the case, now would it, Jeffy B? Too bad Uncle Chuck kicked off before he could see *that* dream played out on the public stage..

    • I have relatives back in ‘Bama I think are on opioids and, Heaven help me, some I HOPE are on opioids. Nothing else explains their reasoning.

    • LadyLaz

      Keep in mind, the modern drug war started with opium.

      For a reason….

      • PubOption

        The British wanted Hong Kong.

    • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

      ah…i see you’ve discovered that the opioid crisis was no accident, any more than the crack prob of the 80’s-90’s

      opiates keep the troops in afghanistan, the CIA black ops in $$, big pharma’s profits up, and bubba’s anger under control

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Yep, I’ve been paying attention for a while now.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    OT: Rexxon out at State, to be replaced by Mike Pompeo.
    ONLY THE BEST PEOPLE WINNING WINNING SO MUCH WINNING MAKE IT STOP

    • LadyLaz

      Holy shit! Really???

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        NYT says that is his plan.

    • puredog

      I don’t know about you folks, but if I get any more tired of winning I’ll be dead.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Completely unrelated to anything relevant at all.
    But…
    Finally got around to using my fancy-schmancy microwave egg cooking device I bought months ago.
    Apparently, nuking two eggs in it at the same time causes it to spontaneously fall over and leak egg squeezin’s all over every-fucking-thing. Also, too; I suggest waiting for the core temperature of said failed culinary experiment to cool down a bit from “Molten-fuckin-lava” before attempting to clean up the mess.

    • Asterix

      I am sorry, I know that sucks, but your eggsplotion just gave me the best laugh all week.

      • MynameisBlarney

        No worries.
        I’ve found that talking about my fuck ups usually makes folks laugh.
        Myself included.

    • I have a crockery microwave egg poacher somebody gave me as a ‘Secret Santa’ gift years ago. It works like a dream. A teaspoon of water, a fresh egg, and a few seconds cooking time results in almost PERFECT poached eggs!

      I also have a plastic ‘Two Eggs at Once!’ version and it makes hard rubber-like whites with half chalky yellow and half runny yokes. That is, when the eggs don’t explode out of the, I guess..? thing ten seconds into cooking.

      The crockery one came from Family Dollar and cost about two bucks. The fancy plastic one came from some kitchenware specialty shop and was $20.

      So…you don’t get what you pay for, I guess..?

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Oil the inside of a coffee mug. Insert raw egg innards. Nuke until set. You can also swish in ham bits or onion or cheese for an omelet in a cup. It works good.

    • I gave my arm 2nd degree burns with a pizza yesterday.

      I feel ya.

  • Nounverb911

    SO Rex, better start checking the want ads…

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/936245978633506818

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Eventually, they’ll only have three Cabinet Secretaries left who have been vetted by Congress and they’ll have to run all the agencies.

      Feature or bug? Discuss.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Jared’ll step up.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Well, the guillotine IS usually on a raised platform with steps.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Can you SoS from prison?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The ankle bracelet could make meetings with foreign diplomats a bit uncomfortable.

      • TakingAmes

        Feature, obvs. They already got Mulvaney running two agencies. In addition to all the agencies being run by people who are utterly unqualified to do so. *cough Carson cough DeVos cough*

    • Oblios_Cap

      Rex will probably be happy to go.

      • Yellerduck

        “Finally!”, said Rex as he took a big swig of fine, sweet Texas crude. Now I can get back to my free-range rat fucking.

    • BadKitty904

      Loyalty!

    • Bill D. Burger
    • little miss high and mighty

      Should read “Tillerson finds the cover he needs to sneak back aboard the gravy train of his former corporate life”
      fixed it now.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • shivaskeeper

      So much for the Kelly/Tillerson/Sessions suicide pact.

      • Walter Wellstone

        Pact? These fuckers will never take one for anyone except themselves. They will throw each other under the bus and they will stab each other in the back any day if it means making more money or gaining more power.

        • shivaskeeper

          Yes. That was my point. Kelly promised to go with Tillerson if he was fired, and if this is to be believed, he is the one drafting Tillerson’s pink slip. This is a man of rare honor.

          • TakingAmes

            What was it I read about everyone who works for this maladministration eventually being corrupted by it? Oh yeah…

          • shivaskeeper

            Not just this Administration. Everything he touches gets corrupted.

  • Nounverb911

    Roy Moore announces he plans to run for the senate in Arkansas too, also.

    https://twitter.com/apalmerdc/status/936246520638263298

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’ll fit right in.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Sorry. Tom Cotton and Intelligence DO NOT belong in the same sentence.

      • MynameisBlarney

        But Tom Cotton and fucking traitor sure as fuck do.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Ol’ Roy would be a great razorback. He’s perfect! He’d bring that Alabammy charm to the Ozarks.

      https://i.imgur.com/a557Stx.gif

      • little miss high and mighty

        OK I know that face now
        The tongue, those teeth, the ears
        It is William F. Buckley after he turned Cannabis advocate

  • Nounverb911
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Oh, please! That would be like the news orgs admitting that they were complicit in fucking up those gals’ careers! Now move it along, nothing to see here, we’ve done our token Obvious and Minimum Good Deed of the Decade.

      • puredog

        . . .while making bigly budget-friendly cuts to our payroll.

    • miss_grundy

      How about getting rid of Megan Kelly and the other empty-brained idiots on the Today Show and bring back Ann Curry and Tamron Hall. It’s is time to start using morning shows to inform the masses.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • little miss high and mighty

      You know Roy Cohn liked boys, right?

      • MynameisBlarney

        No, and eeeeew!

        • little miss high and mighty

          So did Rudolf Heß. But astrology told him to fly to Scotland in a ME 109 (bail out). Then spent his life in a tomb at Spandau.

  • jesterpunk

    With a potentially far-reaching dimension, elements in both the House and Senate bills could constrain the ability of states and local governments to levy their own taxes, pressuring them to limit spending on health care, education, public transportation and social services. In their longstanding battle to shrink government, Republicans have found in the tax bill a vehicle to broaden the fight beyond Washington.

    So republican ratfuckers who always complain about federal government overreach and states rights are going to pass a bill that will use the federal government to block states from managing themselves?

    • Walter Wellstone

      You say it like it’s a bad thing.

    • little miss high and mighty

      Almost like Gov Brown of Confederate Georgia (1860’s) refusing, momentarily his levy of malitia to fight outside the boundaries- citing “State’s Rights!”
      One of the funny ironies of that savage joke of a revolution (CSA).

    • Tetman Callis

      I’m guessing we might see some constitutional challenges. Just a feeling I get. MAGA, fuck the coal miners, keep the attys employed. Hell, it works for me, and I’m below the salt.

      • puredog

        “Below the salt.” That one took me a moment.

    • calliecallie

      Republican Overreach. This will be challenged in court.

  • Nounverb911
  • Walter Wellstone

    “… put man above God.”

    So, God is a bottom? Go figure.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Hey all, lets find people with addiction problems and give them a criminal record!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      That’ll learn ’em to get addicted to pills their doctors gave ’em after that car accident!

  • Joe Beese

    NYT reporting Trump has “soured” on Tillerson; Pompeo to replace.

    REXIT IS AT HAND

    • Rick Hill

      “I gave you six months to destroy the state department and fix the world. Why haven’t you delivered? Don’t bother answering. You’re fired.”

    • Walter Wellstone

      The fucking moron comment really hit a nerve. Now we know. Let’s keep calling Donald a fucking moron every day.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Nuh uh!!! Trump and Co. said that was all FAKE NEWS by illegal leakers!!!!11! Trump always hires the bestest people! Tremendous! Yuuuge!!!

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Well that’s the kiss of death right there.

        • puredog

          Wait — has Trump said that he has “full confidence” in Rexxon?

  • Rick Hill

    Why do we have to worry so much about these mthfcking rich people destroying this mthfcking country? Why can’t we just worry about whether LOTR is racist towards elves?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aMA5vq1_460s.jpg

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I want to worry about The Avengers: Infinity War being a good movie or will DC make a good movie period (Wonder Woman is the expection) not worry that thw president will end humanity in a nuclear war or will America exist a year from now.

      • Rick Hill

        Or, if it does exist, if we will all be driven to penury and slavery because of the raeping and pillaging the republicans are doing to our country and our institutions

        • Courser_Resistance

          I’m on the bitter edge of penury and slavery already.

      • ryp

        “Relax and enjoy the ride, it’s not meant to be taken seriously.”

        Nope, doesn’t work any better for administrations than it does movies.

      • Courser_Resistance

        A bloated, morose Batman is not a big draw for me. Even Jason Mamoa can’t fix that shit.

        • DensityDestiny

          I don’t know about that. He’s got a nice *smile*. I bet he can fix things. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/90edf23e352b8ad87ec112755a2e690d7590eed9dd31d21dc08bafa28526f7d6.jpg

          • Courser_Resistance

            Here’s the funniest thing… Aquaman was my guy as a kid. I know I spent at least one entire summer with the comics. I grew up around Rockford, IL and the summers were fucking *brutal* between the heat and humidity. So my dad packed up the fam and carted us off to camp in the North Woods for up to a month at a time. He’d spend a few days getting us set up and settled and then go back home to work during the week. He’d come back late Friday night, bringing new comics sometimes, spend the weekend, then go home again. And this was no RV camping. We were in tents with outhouses and such, dinner cooked on Coleman stove. So the comics were our one bit of home we could read during rainy days. I was a contrary kid (and still am!) so I didn’t want to pick a hero everyone else was crazy about and I *love* being in natural waters… Aquaman it was.

            THEN, I learn Jason Momoa was playing him?? SQUEEE!

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Legolas and the Admiral aren’t really on speaking terms.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        That’s what I thought. He would not name his father anyway.

  • kilgoretrout

    Matt Lauer’s contract has him making $25 million a year. Megyn Kelly makes $23 million a year. No wonder the MSM soft pedals the GOP’s horrendous tax proposals. They benefit so much from them. The conflict of interest is clear.

  • Nounverb911
  • Asterix

    The rumors about the Tillerson/Pompeo swap have been around for a while. The only silver lining to Cotton going to CIA is he’ll no longer be in the House. The downside is he likes waterboarding and other torture.

    • Walter Wellstone

      I hope it means he likes it when it’s done to him.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Cotton presses intercom button on desk: “Send Mistress Olga in for my 3 o’clock.”

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Well, that’s all right. I have no problem with Tom Cotton being waterboarded and tor…oh, wait.

    • bupkus231

      “The only silver lining to Cotton going to CIA is he’ll no longer be in the House.”

      I wish that traitorous slapdick WAS in the House. He’s a fucking Senator.

      • Asterix

        LOL! I need more coffee!

  • Nounverb911
    • miss_grundy

      I’m guilty of a lot of that since November 8, 2016.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amusing that the pile-on of Sessions for being “weak and spineless” is because he’s not falling into line with what the oligarchs and Dumbass cultists want? I mean, isn’t that kind of the opposite of spineless, resisting a blank-check agenda? Eh, I know, expecting logical consistency from this bunch is a fool’s errand.

    • Walter Wellstone

      I think it’s just that the DoJ is too big and there are way too many lawyers there. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions the Turd knows he can’t fuck up the place without getting some massive pushback. He’s trying but he’s too inept to be successful.

    • Meccalopolis

      dumbass already gave them permission to slam secessions

  • puredog

    Guess I could buy the Roy Moore book from Amazon using my Wonkette connection so you guys got some Ameros. Woke/not-woke?
    (ETA: ^^^ snark. ain’t-a-gonna)

    • theblackdog

      Alternate suggestion: Prairie Fires by Caroline Fraser. It takes a look into the actual life of Laura Ingalls Wilder and her daughter Rose Wilder Lane and holy hell, it’s gonna shatter any assumptions made about Laura and Rose. Ana Mardoll has been live-tweeting her reading of the book and it’s been a roller coaster.

      • LucindathePook

        Asked for it for Christmas. I already know a tad about some of it.

        • theblackdog

          Awesome. The live-read from Ana convinced me to pick it up

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Thanks, for the suggestion.I will def. check it out.

  • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰
    • Walter Wellstone

      True dat.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • theblackdog

      My friend changed his isplay name on twitter to Slicey Boi because of this pic.

      • MynameisBlarney

        HA!
        Awesome!

    • Honestly, I’m getting tired of people talking about guillotines when peaceful civil disobedience. general strikes, etc to topple the regime haven’t even been put into place properly yet. And those would get far less backlash. It’s beginning to sound like an empty threat, like those inbreds yelling about the Coming Race War every time a black person gets a job.

      • Morrigan in Oregon

        General strikes in 2017? Unions were busted decades ago, now noone can pay rent and feed their families with out a paycheck covering those days lost. Civil disobedience? to what purpose? We are a democracy, let’s get out the vote, and run responsible people for office.

  • cmd resistor

    If I were a press person who decided to attend the White House party, I would think twice before trying the snacks. Or take a food taster.
    “Unlike in previous years, Grisham said, the president and first lady would not pose for photos with guests. Trump may give “brief welcoming remarks,” she said, and may or may not mingle with the crowd. “

    • TakingAmes

      I mean, honestly, what’s the point in attending? You know they don’t like you, they don’t want you around, and the passed apps will be shitty, like pigs in blankets and celery with the leaves still on. Send the interns!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • little miss high and mighty

      Needz moar gold

    • bupkus231

      Whew! I was afraid the fork was going to be used to gouge out your eyes whenever Rump appeared on the TV screen….

    • puredog

      I could swear that’s a Sasaki fork in the exact pattern I have. Weird.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Kellyanne Conaway tomorrow: “There is no opioid crisis. I solved it yesterday. It’s completely done. I’ll help Jared Kushner solve the MidEast tomorrow.”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      She sent all the opioids to Bowling Green to help with all the casualties there…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Long after she’s gone, they will whisper her name into the winds, at Bowling Green.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      She solved the drug problem by taking them all.

  • John Thorstensen

    Mention of Geraldo Rivera reminds me that years ago, Carl Hiaasen, in Skin Tight, had a character who was clearly based on Geraldo.

    I’m afraid to say it was an unflattering portrait, and that things did not end well for the Geraldo character.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      It did make me enjoy the book all the more.

    • Erala Contratista

      Thanks!!!!!!
      Haven’t read that one yet!

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Re Terry Crews

    Crews alleged that talent agent Adam Venit groped his genitals at a Hollywood party. Crews acknowledges the obvious question: Why wouldn’t a man of his muscle just wallop any predator? The actor wanted to fight him, to strike back, he has said, but feared that the situation would be misperceived since he is a large black man. He didn’t want to end up in jail or lose his career.

    Exactly. I get so annoyed when people quip about why didn’t the victim just fight back or say “Hell NO!!” or give some other very dramatic and righteous reaction. Both male and female victims, especially if they are some flavor of minority, are aware that their reaction may, at best get them out of a bad situation without suffering further damage to their body or career, or, at worst, turn them into the perceived aggressor. Being a victim doesn’t matter if no one believes you.

    It’s easy to take a righteous stance if you already know that you’ll have support. But if that support is not guaranteed, victims really do have to think long and hard about the best way to respond in order to not do more damage to themselves. And even when they do speak up, the know that they’re putting themselves at risk.

    • theblackdog

      Yeah, the claim that anyone who comes forward is doing it for publicity or money is bullshit. There’s so many risks and relatively few gains by coming forward that it’s a big reason why many do not speak out. https://twitter.com/Karnythia/status/936222653253287936

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Evidently the “Victim Card” is a hot commodity, though I don’t see that it’s actually accepted at fine stores and retailers…

  • theblackdog

    Rumor has it that the orange one is gonna fire Tillerson.

    • puredog

      Yeah, with the norks getting all uppity an’ all, they’re gonna install a re-animated Curtis LeMay at State.

  • TootsStansbury

    Gods, everything sucks. When is the GOP going to run the re-animated corpse of Augusto Pinochet for some office or another?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      They’ve instructed NIH to divert all funds to that research effort.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    What the fuck does Conway know about opioids? Meth sure, but downers, no way.

    • Arolpin

      Sometimes after 7 days on a meth binge, you just really need to get some sleep to be refreshed and recharged. Nothing works better than a handful of Oxy.

    • Jamoche

      Opioids make you constipated. Conway’s full of shit.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    Jeebus Cripes, that is about the worst list of vomitous, duplicitous behavior I’ve seen and I know it can only get worse. That’s it for this old liberal for tonight. It’s time to make like Johnny and forget about these soulless shitholes for a while. Oyasumi and all that.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2540608474fb08ddfc03e50f53d5c8cc3736ede4573b4d3bf62b60727e0b5a68.jpg

    Johnny doing what he does best.

    • Persistent Demme

      My dogs are also talented at this activity!

  • wavicles

    ‘where he bitched about Sen. Claire McCaskill’s weakness on crime, despite her history as a sex crimes prosecutor.’
    Well, yeah… not THOSE crimes.

  • The Librarian

    Ooooo. Trump sour on Tillerson, who’ll be replaced by Mike PompousAhole, who’ll be replaced at CIA by Tom Cotton????????!!!!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    I am really beginning to worry about Turnip’s grip on reality. As someone said recently, “If Trump was suffering from dementia, how would we know?” It’s like we are watching a Three Stooges production of King Lear.

    KIng Lear: O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven! Keep me in temper: I would not be mad! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

    • Lear could probably say that and get away with it in the Gloucester scene.

  • Hee some troll is trying to play “identity politics” toward Wonkette:

    https://twitter.com/Oil_Guns_Merica/status/936267153430364160

    • Cosmic Owl

      They simply ignore ole puss grabber Trump, I see.

    • Bitter Scribe

      No, dumbass, it’s how he treats one woman in particular. Being a woman doesn’t give her a pass for saying stupid shit any more than being black gives, say, Ben Carson one.

    • Lefty Wright

      Telling someone to go fuck themselves is not an assault. It’s an insult, and in this case, entirely appropriate. It should apply to everyone in the Trump administration.

    • He missed it. Evan also told princess Vank Vank to fuck off

  • Villago Delenda Est

    According to Donald, “sex crimes” are not crimes at all, unless it involves Al Franken supposedly patting a female ass.

  • ImGoingBacon

    First , for the LA Weekly: was the last one standing named Ted Baxter?
    Second, regarding WaPo and Jaime Phillips. I was hoping to hear the last of that yesterday, but on second glance, I am glad WaPo is pursuing that story, in a ‘revenge reporting porn’ way.

    • Upvote because I got the reference.

  • Mike Lear

    Respectfully….Trump’s inability to comprehend fiscal policy is what makes him hand that all over to Ryan/McConnell and their Randian fantasies ; his inability to comprehend monetary policy is what leads him to replace FRB members with people who don’t believe in independent monetary policy. They’re all nihilists, though, they all believe in nushing. NUSHING!

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/white-house-considering-plan-replace-tillerson-pompeo-n825251 The Long knives are out for Rexxon. No word if the leaker was John Barron.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Oh dear God. I thought “Goyfundme” was a typical Wonkette joke but it turns out it’s real.

    How long will Republicans actively seek the support of such people? Has their sense of shame been surgically removed?

  • Impatient

    “I don’t care about anything anymore.” Nice that we have a preznit who really does represent a likely majority of Americans. All with their own lovely reasons for basically saying, “Duh, what the fuck is a country?”

    (now that my lunch has settled, I’m gonna try to skim the wonkagenda. wish me luck.)

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Atlantic City is considering demolishing Trump’s old Atlantic City trash palace and casino, but it’s concerned about all the asbestos and whether or not to turn it into a gambling-free “greenscape.””

    Of course there’s fucking asbestos. Of course there is. Why does this shit still surprise me.

    • I am not sure why there is. They certainly knew it was a bad thing when that was built

  • guppy06

    Barry Myers, Trump’s pick to head NOAA, broke free of his brain cage, stating that he believes humans are the cause of climate change.

    Don’t see why this would be a shocker. As owner of AccuWeather, the more people are compelled to pay attention to weather forecasts, the more money he makes.

    Once he abolishes the National Hurricane Center in favor of some sort of private-market, subscription-based service, he stands to make a mint.

  • Moar Wordz

    Just read the about Somali massacre. At first I thought warring clans were trying to pin the blame on Special Forces, but once halfway through the story saw that Special Forces used “unreliable sources” in the war on terror.
    I hope they’re haunted by their evil acts the rest of their lives.
    Now the image of a Somali farmer dying on the ground with blood pouring from his gunshot wound to the head is seared into memory. His friend couldn’t comfort him as he was dying because he had an American Special Force soldier’s boot on his head., forcing him to stay on the ground.

  • Just because the world is crap I will take this moment to say:

    Hey, Maggie- Tail of Two Cities? Was about the French Revolution. So you know.

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