Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.
A New York-based comedian who dabbles in fringe politics and drug policy is the link between Trump’s ratfucking Nixonian hatchet man, Roger Stone, and Wikileaks Julian Assange, AKA the world’s worst houseguest.
The Senate was able to push the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich) through committee on a party line vote where, with greased palms and the prospect of a fucked up electoral system that favors the wealthy, it will now be brought to the Senate floor for people to try and stick on extra riders and pork.
One of the tax riders progressive groups are staring at with wide-eyed fear is quiet calls from Republicans to drill, baby, drill in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve.
The GOP is hoping to force Democrats into supporting their budget resolution by blaming them for any kind of government shutdown due to their staunch support for DACA. Typical, whenever there’s a dirty job, rich people always get a Messican.
House Republicans are pissed at their Senate counterparts after staffers at the National Republican Senate Committee stoled donor information from the National Republican Congressional Committee, and then started quietly begging them for cash.
Barry Myers, Trump’s pick to head NOAA, broke free of his brain cage, stating that he believes humans are the cause of climate change.
Due to his inability to comprehend good fiscal policy, Trump has tapped Fed critic Marvin Goodfriend to be the Fed Governor.
Trump went to a very affluent and very white suburb of St. Louis yesterday to do a campaign-style rally for a bunch of zealots where he bitched about Sen. Claire McCaskill’s weakness on crime, despite her history as a sex crimes prosecutor.
Even though there’s nobody heading the Office of National Drug Control Policy, or money to refill the coffers of the national public health emergency fund for the opioid crisis, Kellyanne Conway is your new opioid czar.
Incensed about his inability to lock away all the Appalachian dope fiends, Jeff Sessions is expanding a new division of the DEA to seek and destroy hillbilly heroin use among the mountain folk in Kentucky, Tennessee and West Virginia.
Trump is twiddling his thumbs and mulling over outright support for Roy Moore; maybe he’ll make some robocalls and support an ALLEGED pedophile, maybe he won’t.
According to Roy Moore, the reason you keep hearing about all his ALLEGED pedophillia is all the “lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender…socialists who want to change our way of life and put man above God…”
Back in the old-timey days of 2011, Roy Moore co-authored a course about governmenting and lawyering that tells students womenfolk shouldn’t vote or hold office, and that there is a moral obligation not to vote for ladies who wander from the kitchen. You can find it on Amazon.
Erik Prince is no fan of Jeff Sessions due to his continued prosecution of four Blackwater mercenaries convicted of killing more than a dozen Iraqi civilians in 2007, with one former merc calling Sessions a “big, giant wussy and never has there been a more spineless, worthless guy holding that chair than him.”
Don Blankenship, the former CEO of Massey Energy who just finished a stint in prison for his role in a mine explosion that killed almost 30 people in 2010, announced his run for the Senate in West Virginia.
Atlantic City is considering demolishing Trump’s old Atlantic City trash palace and casino, but it’s concerned about all the asbestos and whether or not to turn it into a gambling-free “greenscape.”
In response to North Korea’s latest missile test, UN Ambassador Nikki Haley called for nations to “cut off all ties with North Korea,” including diplomatic, commercial, military and scientific relationships.
There’s mounting evidence that US special forces were involved in the massacre of 10 Somali civilians back in August. This is good journalism.
Gaymosexual Not American futball fans traveling to Russia for the 2019 World Cup are being warned not to engage in PDA due to Russia’s strict laws banning the indoctrination lasers that brainwash youths into fabulous homosex cults.
London Mayor Sadiq Khan issued a statement condemning Trump’s tweets of an anti-Muslim extremist group, and stating that “any official visit at all from President Trump to Britain would not be welcomed.”
The UK will cough up more cash to divorce itself from the EU, bringing the new potential total of the payout for the Brexit to $53 billion.
Michigan Democratic Rep. John Conyers doesn’t plan to resign, and will instead stick around and fight allegations that he’s a gross old man.
Terry Crews says that big-time Hollywood agent Adam Venit is getting a pass for grabbing his bits at a Hollywood party, and he was afraid that opening up a can of whoopass would label him as a big, violent black man and kill his career.
The SCOTUS seemed warm to limiting the ability of law enforcement agencies to pull private information and cell-tower phone records on suspects without requiring more proof.
Congressional investigators want Twitter to cough up information on 45 Russian bot accounts that had a tendency to push pro-Trump propaganda until they were ID’d and later suspended.
The LA Weekly saw all of its editorial staff but one fired as part of a takeover by a still-unknown ownership group. Stay strong!
The neo-Nazi couple the New York Times tried to humanize have been “You’re Fired” from their respective gigs, and now they may lose their house; naturally they’re begging for people to pay their bills on a Nazi crowdfunding site. No kidding? “GoyFundMe.”
The New York Times’s favorite Trump reporter, Maggie Haberman, had some talky time on CNN where she stated Trump has “unmoored” and is now just losing shit. Maggie is late to the plot.
Trump’s aides have pretty much given up trying to control his Twitter habits, instead opting to try and bury offensive tweets with a bunch of bullshit.
Back in the 2000s, Trump was doing an interview with some golf magazine where he bragged about “first rate pussy,” being super rich, and having friends who were later convicted of running a ring of “sex slaves,” before bitching about “feeling fat” and throwing his golf clubs in the water.
Geraldo Rivera issued an apology after Fox News issued an apology for his tweets that attempted to mansplain how we should be dealing with awful rape monsters like Matt Lauer and Harvey Weinstein.
James O’Keefe was talking to some cranks-in-training at Southern Methodist University last night, and comforted the poor, afflicted youths, like the kid who was forced to undergo sensitivity training for insulting gay people in high school. Then he showed a sizzle reel and clips of Hannity and DJTJ giving him shoutouts.
WaPo is following the trail of Jaime Phillips, the shitty
spy “reporter” James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas had been using to try to infiltrate media outlets and colleges.
Reporters are considering whether or not to attend the White House
Holiday Christmas party…because of deadlines. It’s definitely deadlines. Also, just to be shitty, they didn’t invite April Ryan.
And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert doesn’t think Matt Lauer should try to mansplain sexual harassment with dildos; James Corden explained why Britain First is so awful; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump’s tax cuts (for the super rich); The Daily Show talked about Mick Mulvaney moving into the CFPB; Jordan Klepper has a damn good breakdown of why we need net neutrality.
And here’s your morning Nice Time! Baby Sulawesi crested macaques!
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