SHARE

We began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and a lot of things have changed since then. The deadpan list of Bloody American Triumphs is more relevant than ever in this annus horribilis of 2017, and if Burroughs were with us today, he might look at his 1986 poem and wonder how he’d ever been such a starry-eyed optimist. For Thanksgiving 2015 we fretted because the presidential campaign featured “serious debates over registering religious minorities and bringing back torture.” Heh. We were so innocent back then, and didn’t think that guy had any chance of really getting elected.

And now here we are in Year One of the Trump Era, still trying to figure out whether That Man in the White House is an existential threat to everything we liked about America, or whether this is a temporary season of madness, after which we’ll spend entirely too long rebuilding the stuff that got smashed and covered with coal soot. Will the institutions of the ol’ American Polity survive even a Trump, or is it time to start hoarding survival supplies? Our money’s still on America feeling like America after four years, but a much crueler, fuck the poors, fuck the immigrants, fuck anyone who isn’t a Trump voter America, dominated by decent church-going people with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.

There’s a glib, pouting sociopath at the head of the parade, telling us how wonderful it all is, even as the number of people willing to believe him shrinks down to a core corps of creeps carrying torches, plus some hangers on who can’t wait to pass a tax cut, no matter what. We don’t know where the bottom of American politics is yet, but the fact that an accused child molester has a serious shot at a Senate seat seems like an indicator that we haven’t reached it yet. We aren’t quite living in Margaret Atwood’s Republic of Gilead yet. But we are living in an America that arrests little girls for having emergency surgery without papers, an America that people are fleeing as refugees.

The important thing to remember about The Handmaid’s Tale (Spoiler warning!) is that it ends with an epilogue telling us that the Republic of Gilead came to an end, and in the future future is merely a historical curiosity. After hell, things got better, so there’s your happy ending.

Burroughs might well look at 2017 and have a good rueful laugh. He told us so. We had An American Dream, and we — or at least a slim plurality of those of us who voted in just the right number of states in 2016 — picked the guy who promised to vulgarize and falsify that dream until the bare lies shone through. Just enough of us were desperate enough to believe the comforting lies about how the coal jobs will come back, the manufacturing jobs will come back, and the blacks will finally get enough Law and Order thrown at them they’ll stop insisting their lives matter. We can only assume that Burroughs would say Donald Trump is the president America has been working toward for decades. Sure, three million more of us voted for the competent but sometimes excessively private lady with the emails, but that’s not how our system works, so stop being a crybaby and suck it up. Also, show us your papers. Now we’ve got an entire political party that seems intent on finally sandblasting that pesky poem off the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty. To be honest, we prefer people who aren’t tempest toss’d or wretched refuse. We like winners.

Sick of winning yet? Or just sick?

And yet. For all the morons and cheats and petty churchy bastards who’ve forgotten Jesus was quite insistent that we must care for our neighbor, who is anyone who needs our help, we can still be thankful there are people who refuse to be shouted down by the idiots who are afraid of foreigns. We can be thankful there’s no shortage of women who won’t stand for a pussy-grabber in chief. We can be thankful for schools that give EVERYBODY eat, nurses who buy up and forgive patients’ hospital debt, and a celebrity chef who fed Puerto Rico and then hired a Syrian refugee as a pastry chef. We can be thankful there are tiny babies we can guide through our big messy world with Mr. Rosewater’s one rule for living on Earth: “God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

So we’ll be thankful anyway, even if at times we can only be thankful it’s not worse than it is. We’ve got each other, there’s a highly evolved descendant of a dinosaur in the oven, and the bed is covered with the winter coats of people we love — or can at least tolerate for a few hours, although we may have to ask them to please not wear that MAGA hat to the table. If people are getting married and having babies in this crazy stupid world, then there must be hope. For all the petty small-minded terribleness and evil out there, we still have the option of laughter, because it sure as hell beats giving in to the bastards.

A happy and safe Thanksgiving to all Wonkers everywhere, and remember to Buy (almost) Nothing tomorrow.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • msanthropesmr
  • Edith Prickly

    Happy Thanksgiving, US of A. Eat, drink, and try not to strangle your Trump-loving rellies.

    • SDGeoff3

      We are lucky. We go out to dinner. I haven’t spoken to my asshole family in twelve years, and it’s changed my life.

  • Covfefe

    Donald Fredeovich Trump. Thanksgiving Day calls to the troops. Economy. Stock market at historic high. Like the troops can afford to play the stock market.

    • coozledad

      Black troops know precisely how much he supports them.

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    Damn he was good.

    • tehbaddr

      Bill was rather unique.

    • doktorzoom

      Not a great shot, though.

  • tehbaddr

    Here’s the prayer post. Dok’s phoning it in!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      He’s phoning it in from INSIDE the house, since he’s at Shy and Rebecca’s and DR’s house.

    • doktorzoom

      I’ll have you know It’s only 75% last year’s post.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        The other 25% was contributed by Princess Donna Rose? My, her speaking and writing talent has accelerated …

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      There will never be a photo of the trump family brimming over with love and happiness for each other.

      • Gosala

        Love is weakness.
        — every evil character in Once Upon a Time

        • coozledad

          They don’t have emotional intelligence enough to “like” let alone love. Their brains are only ordered to process various stinks, shapes and rewards.

          They’ll be coked up by noon.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        What about this photo that shows the love for one another:
        Look how happy and interactive they are. You can really see how much they like being in the same room together.
        http://staging.snopes.com/app/uploads/2016/08/trump-family-portrait.jpg

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          I did try to find other photos on Getty. Most were very Donald-centric. Poor Barron looked like he wanted to be somewhere else. He also has a giant zebra like in the photo above. I hope he gets to play with other kids and be normal. Or at least have some Legos and Hot Wheels!

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            I don’t know what happened when Melania went to Canada. 10-year-old Xavier Trudeau was very disappointed he didn’t get to meet Barron. She said some word salad about “he is at home playing soccer”. Mebbe Barron is Donnie’s collateral so that Melania won’t defect?

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            She can find a country without an extradition treaty.

          • schmannity

            Instead of Hot Wheels, he has two stretch limos at the foot of the lion on which he is riding . .

            And then the murders began.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          “I hate the coastal elites, that’s why I’m voting for Trump!”

          • coozledad

            This is what happens when trash manages to thieve it’s way into an insupportable line of credit. It looks like Goering’s shithouse.

        • coozledad

          Motherfucking Ceaucescu shit. Here’s hoping it follows the same narrative arc.

          And here’s a little bit of the semantic underpinnings of that dictator style:
          https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/933743292495421440

        • Carpe Vagenda

          He smiles like someone who’s had a smile described to him and never owned a mirror.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I like how Trump grabs credit for a stock market that’s been on a rip for the past eight years. Trump is too stupid to know that the stock market goes both up and down. I doubt he’ll take the credit when the market goes down.

      My fear is that we get rid of Trump in 2020, and then the actual effects of his policies start to take effect, and Democrats get the blame for HIS shitty policies.

      • coozledad

        It’s guaranteed. The Democrats rebuild a shattered economy, and Republicans steal the election so they can swoop in and do a little theft- er, profit taking.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        That happens every time. THe Republicans tank the economy, pass bad fiscal legislation then when a Dem comes in the Republicans complain about how the Dem is spending us into a hole by expanding “entitlements”

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Yes, and we NEED those entitlements after they’ve been in office, because we’re all out of work, and our houses are underwater in value, and the stock market has evaporated.

          • onedollarjuana

            Well, we can always follow Rousseau’s advice:

            “When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich.”

      • Tofer King

        Yes, the stock market has been in a rip for the last ten years.

        It grew from 14,000 to 20,000. That is a huge jump. But now in 2017 it’s grown from 20,000 to 24,000.

        You are correct there will be a course correction, but don’t speak in a negative manner about those 4,000 points in 2017.

        I believe the market will tumble when the tax bill doesn’t pass. My only question is, “Who will play the major role in preventing the tax bill to pass?” I’m not thinking Donald Trump at this point.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53aacf98eee2e1b052d38dea230104796ff4e0597cf980e107134eb76a0c72f1.png

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          The only reason the stock market has been on a rip in 2017 is because the banks knew they were going to be free to rip off the marks, and rubes, again, AND they wouldn’t have to pay taxes on their stolen money.

          • Tofer King

            You have information I don’t have.

            At what point in time did the banks realize they were going to be free to rip off the marks and rubes AND they wouldn’t have to pay taxes on their stolen money?

            And how did that affect the stock market?

            BTW, I want this to be a friendly conversation so please share information with me that I don’t have. You know something I don’t know.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            They knew the day Trump won the election. They knew Republicans would roll back all the financial regulations that Elizabeth Warren had enacted to protect the public, they knew they’d be free to despoil the environment again, and they thought they were going to get a massive tax break AND that their taxes would be lowered after Obamacare was repealed. Plus, they knew what a grifty fuck the Trump family has always been, and they knew he’d do whatever he could to transfer money upwards. I’d be celebrating, too, if I was a billionaire.

            The only problem has been that repealing Obamacare and giving the wealthy another huge tax break has turned out to be very unpopular, including with members of their own base. They keep trying to shove that tax cut through, even though it’s probably going to cause a recession AND nobody other than their donors wants the cut.

          • Tofer King

            Interesting.

    • ltmcdies

      why does a man who’s father could afford to get him the best education..compose english sentences like a fucking pre schooler.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Even the greatest sculptor would not be able to craft a masterpiece out of flawed marble.

      • Phried Ω

        Because he thought school was just a means of avoiding the draft.

  • Parakeetist

    Hapoy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for my Mom and Dad, and my dog.

  • frrolfe

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Thanks Dok for your post. Thank you for all the articles you have all posted over the last year. Better than happy pills! Another gem from Tom the Dancing Bug:
    https://www.patreon.com/posts/very-chagrin-15487601?utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=postsharet :

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Ironically, the GOP’s tax plan actually encourages the offshoring of American jobs. Not only will corporations find cheaper labor, but they’ll get to pay less in taxes, also, too. Yay, for all the people who didn’t like corporate sellout Shillary’s pantsuits, and her emails, and her Benghazzziing everyone to death. She would have been exactly the same as Donald Trump. I’m thankful we dodged that bullet.

  • Michael R

    William S. Burroughs – A Thanksgiving Prayer

    For John Dillinger and hope he is still alive
    Thanksgiving Day, November Twenty-eighth, 1986

    Thanks for the wild turkey and the passenger pigeons
    Destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts

    Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison

    Thanks for Indians to provide a modicum
    Of challenge and danger

    Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin
    Leaving the carcasses to rot

    Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes

    Thanks for the American dream
    To vulgarize and to falsify until the bare lies shine through

    Thanks for the KKK
    For nigger-killing lawmen feeling their notches

    For decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces

    Thanks for “Kill a Queer for Christ” stickers

    Thanks for laboratory AIDS

    Thanks for Prohibition
    And the war against drugs

    Thanks for a country where nobody’s allowed to mind their own business

    Thanks for a nation of finks

    Yes

    Thanks for all the memories, all right let’s see your arms!
    You always were a headache and you always were a bore
    Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal
    Of the last and greatest of human dreams

  • DerrickWildcat

    Trump unpardoned all of Turkeys that are still alive that Obama pardoned.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Only the white meat……

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      This is first purely spite based presidency in history.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        ‘Don’t ask what you can do for your country. Ask, who can I take my spite out on.’

        • Phried Ω

          Just imagine how awful it must be to be on the White House household staff.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      He did mention that he would have, but…

    • Michael R

      Mike Flynn stole my Turkey .

  • IdiotsforPalin
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Eww.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Eeep!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Let’s hope Murkowski hears from some of her constituents:
    “In an op-ed for the Daily News-Miner, an Alaskan newspaper, Murkowski laid out her reasons for supporting a repeal of the Obamacare mandate. “I have always supported the freedom to choose. I believe that the federal government should not force anyone to buy something they do not wish to buy in order to avoid being taxed,” she said, noting that Alaskans paid $21 million in penalties to the IRS in 2014 and 2015. “Eliminating this tax would allow Alaskans to have greater control over their money and health care decisions,” she added.

    The senator went on to claim that getting rid of the individual mandate just “restores to people the freedom to choose” and does nothing to people who want to keep Obamacare — ignoring that the entire system starts breaking down if younger, healthier people decide to go without insurance.

    This is an encouraging sign for Republicans, who are rushing to pass tax reform before a Democrat or an unpredictable, scandal-plagued Republican claims an Alabama Senate seat next month. However, a Murkowski spokesperson told Politico that this doesn’t necessarily mean the senator will support the tax legislation.”

    Murkowski could end up being the person who blows up health care.
    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/11/murkowski-who-nixed-obamacare-repeal-now-opposes-mandate.html

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It’s odd how the GOP is suddenly supporting “the right to choose.”

      • willi0000000

        really surprising . . . considering they regard homosexuality as a choice.

    • jesterpunk

      Health insurance and health care are not like buying car insurance. Everyone ever will need health care no matter what, and when they don’t have coverage and go to the ER and can’t pay that raises the costs for those who can pay to make up for it.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        ‘If you have to ask the price, then you can’t afford it.’ Supposedly used as advertising by Rolls Royce many years ago.

        • jesterpunk

          Healthcare isn’t really something you can shop around for especially when it’s an emergency. You go to the closest hospital or the one the ambulance takes you to.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            As somebody once said, ‘The closest thing to a national religion in Britain is the National Health Service.’ Amen to that..

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Canada too. Their conservatives are GOP North fascists, but even they know they’d get 0% of the vote if they threatened to outright get rid of healthcare.

          • Covfefe

            That’s the essence of the threat posed by Obamacare. The longer it loves, the harder it will be to kill it.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I wonder who the idiots are who say “I’d rather pay a fine, than have health insurance”?

        I know there was one conservatard in my state who did that, then started a GoFundMe when he got cancer AND blamed Obama for not giving him free health insurance, after he’d declined to get health insurance. I read his page, and most of the donors were liberals who were telling him they were sending him money, even though he was an idiot.

        • jesterpunk

          There are quite a few conservatives saying they would rather pay the fine just because Obama signed the ACA and they want to stick it to liberals.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Yes, you’re sure showing me, by dying of a curable health problem, because you don’t have insurance. That’s some real logic right there. Of course, nobody every accused them of being smart.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      The Republicans are all about choice until it pertains to what a woman wants to do with her body.

      • OrG

        And smoking weed…

      • OutOfOrbit

        and who you bake cakes for

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        And killing yourself when things get unbearable. Being pro-death is only acceptable if it’s depriving the poor of essentials or pulling the switch on Old Sparky (especially if exculpatory evidence might prove innocence — and the condemned is brown or black).

    • freakishlypersistent

      Quit couching this shit in “freedom”. You assholes don’t give a shit about “freedom”. The “affordable” in the ACA is what the mandates are all about.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The Heritage Foundation invented the heath care exchanges in the 1990s, because they wanted it to be about “personal responsibility.”

        The GOP is a group of the sorest winners in history. They’re unhappy, even when they get their own ideas passed.

        • jesterpunk

          They came up with it in the 90’s because Hillary was pushing health care reform.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Yeah, I remember when that shrill bitch tried to cram affordable health care down the throat of the average American. What a bitch! Luckily, the GOP, very honestly told us how we’d be subjected to European style socialist health care, which would destroy America, because of reasons, and such.

          • jesterpunk

            Can you believe she got health insurance for kids? How evil of her, that is why the GOP had to kill CHIP.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            She’s a MONSTER!!!!

          • Phried Ω

            and wouldn’t get to see you own doctor. I still have no idea what that means. I’ve never seen my own doctor and I’m an old. I see the doctor the managed health insurance company assigns me.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Apparently, we were all going to be forced to switch doctors with other people, since Hillary was that much of a bitch. Every insurance plan requires you to see the doctors in THEIR network, so I’m not sure what the big deal is.

          • VirginiaMorningBlend

            ^^^This. I’ve played musical doctors for the past 5 years because of shifts in insurance. It’s so dumb because they are all in the same system that lets any doctor see my history.

    • Michael R

      … because things were going so well before Obamacare came along .
      What happened to better plans at lower costs as promised ? ( IT’S EASY ! )

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Yes, my shitty healthcare was extremely affordable (only $500 a month, which is more than a car payment!), before Obama stepped in.

    • PubOption

      Freedom’s just another word for ‘nothing left to lose’ – K. Kristofferson

  • coozledad
  • Bureaucrap

    After hell, things got better, so there’s your happy ending.

    Margaret Atwood was always an irrepressible Pollyanna.

    • Zombishroom

      When you imagine the destruction of civilization you have to have hope. Otherwise no one will buy your book.

  • Maria Sewell

    Happy Thanksgiving to all those to my south. I’m grateful for the hilarity and humanity of your commentary.

  • Eileen Besse

    Thank you, Dok.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Dear Wonketeers,

    Thank you all for being your sane, cultured, intelligent, funny, and sophisticated selves.
    I am grateful for you and this place, and to be counted as one of you.
    Happy Thanksgiving, everypony.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    I’ve the bird ready for the oven, the stuffing, too. Have about three hours to kill, so, getting stoned and working on a drinky.

    We have legalized the pot, so not all is lost, Sessions be damned. Going to watch Willow then Princess Bride, need some swordplay before the festivities.

    • The Wanderer

      The clientele are watching the SyFy remake of Carrie, and I just finished watching Invasion of the Neptune Men.

    • Jonny On Maui

      As you wish…

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Have fun storming the castle!

    • Zombishroom

      Thanksgiving is so much better with weed.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    dominated by decent church-going people with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces who are pedophiles, teen rapists, liars, cheats, and adulterers.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Ah, Kim Davis, we hardly knew ye. Which, is a lie, we know her and her ilk all too well.

      • Michael R

        The Kentucky county clerk jailed for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples will run for re-election in 2018, facing voters for the first time since her protest against gay marriage launched a national uproar from rural Appalachia.

        An attorney for Kim Davis confirmed she will seek a second term. Filing for Kentucky’s 2018 election cycle opens Wednesday.

        No one has announced they will challenge Davis yet .

    • Ghenghis McCann

      But they have accepted God into their lives, and he will forgive them. Like all those pop-up adverts you get while browsing the interwebs tell you ‘All it takes is this one simple trick.’

  • Jonny On Maui

    I have received so much from the people here ‘Thanks’ seems inadequate.

    Doesn’t matter. I love you all. Thank you for being here.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Whenever I think of Borroughs I remember this interview of Ginsburg by some Trump-like asshole who now seems well ahead of his time:
    http://jig.joelpomerantz.com/otherwriters/ginsberg.html

    • OutOfOrbit

      i think of Edger Rice

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        Cool

      • Phried Ω

        Just a monkey man.

        • OutOfOrbit

          yeah but could he swing!

  • Zombishroom

    I am thankful for Dok. He words gud.

    • BloviateMe

      He has the best #dadjokes.

      • doktorzoom

        There’s no such thing. But thanks!

    • Earl Of Sammich

      I kan haz wurdsburger!

  • Michael R

    Rat fink got nothing on this administration

    Ed “Big Daddy” Roth began airbrushing and selling “Weirdo” T-shirts at car shows and in the pages of Hot Rod publications in the late 1950s.
    Rat Fink was advertised for the first time in the July 1963 issue of Car Craft

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b45c6ac531175b793aafafd0012e4d26db4a61e9ce02f0969d7b12601ccccc59.jpg

  • BloviateMe

    Sometimes it’s the little things. One hour to kickoff between my Vikes and those pesky Lions, and they showed Stefon Diggs playing catch with a bunch of kids on the sidelines. Nice.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    heart

    • OutOfOrbit

      donuts?

  • CatDog

    as Virus B23 rages through cities of the Earth like a topping forest fire …

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Dok, that’s as beautiful a Thanksgiving meditation as I’ve ever read.

    Burroughs, Bierce, and other great America pessimists would not be at all surprised at the Trump era. Emerson, Whitman, and every other great America optimist is rolling in their grave.

    I’m leaving soon to have a vegetarian, tree-hugging thanksgiving with my feminist, gay-married relatives. It is our civic duty to resist and to keep the vision of a Progressive America alive in these perilous times.

    Thanks to all you wonderful Wonkers for helping to guard the gates of sanity through administrations Good and Terrible. Long may we Wonk.

  • House0fTheBlueLights
    • freakishlypersistent

      Beautiful! Ah laaaahk pah.

      • Phried Ω

        I hear Cartman.

    • BloviateMe

      Oh man, that’s really cool.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      PRETTY! What kind of pie is it?

      • OutOfOrbit

        duh!

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Good! I really like duh pie.

          • OutOfOrbit

            and duh donuts two?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I’ve never heard of “pineapple pie” that’s why I asked, Mr Silly.

          • OutOfOrbit

            but neither but duh! Rule 35 (one up from 34)

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Pineapple apricot

    • Resistor Radio

      Woah. Well-deserved bragging! Damn!

    • Phried Ω

      Pineapple Pie, I bet.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’ve literally never heard of pineapple pie, and I’m a gal who knows her way around the desert table. I love pineapple, and I love pie even more, but I’m not sure I’d like the two together.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Even if it was a rich, creamy custardy pineapple pie? With a splash of rum?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’ve literally never seen a single one! It does sound intriguing though, so, please, go on…

    • Spurning Beer

      Mmmm. Ajit Pai!

    • Nice!

    • Paul

      Humble bragging about humble pie?

  • Michael R
  • Picabo
    • jesterpunk
      • OutOfOrbit

        if mine wuz donutated, they would totally lose it

      • Spurning Beer

        Joe Barton could donate his brain to science fiction.

        (h/t Rodney Dangerfield)

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Damn it! Now I’ve got to start worrying about running out of wind, which is totally a real thing that could happen any minute. Guess I won’t have to worry about hurricanes anymore, though.

      • jesterpunk

        Good thing we have republicans, we wont run out of hot air or bullshit anytime soon.

    • Resistor Radio

      This is way more disgusting than the nude pic, IMO.

    • freakishlypersistent

      I believe he also apologized to BP for them destroying the Gulf of Mexico.

      • Resistor Radio

        Like when Cheney’s pal apologized for hitting the bullet with his face?

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      This one is far more obscene as it was done in public in front of impressionable children.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Dear fucking god someone go point out the fucking sun to this sad excuse for an educated person.

    • Crank Tango

      Human beings can’t possibly warm the planet, except when they totally can.

  • Jim Graham

    Thanks for posting this each year.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    We’ve always been at war with EastGawker!!!

    Not so much anymore, but some naughty bits of the Empire remain, such as Lifehacker, who has the temerity to suggest t-day dinner is to be had at 4pm.

    https://lifehacker.com/there-is-only-one-correct-time-at-which-to-eat-thanksgi-1820657436

    I’m aiming for 330, which is much the same, given I will not be able to read a clock by then.

    What time will Dear Leader hit the Mar-a-lago buffet?

    • jesterpunk
      • Resistor Radio

        Peter Thiel wants to suck his own dick.

        • jesterpunk

          He would have to find it first.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        This should be interesting. I may get an account to see how quickly to get banned.

        • jesterpunk

          He just wants to buy it to delete everything from the site and any other site they own.

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            Where’s the sport in that? Even cats know how to play from time to time.

            Fucking cats.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          As much as Denton fucked up and crossed the line, and so deserved to get called out on it (Hogan wasn’t even the most egregious case), Peter Thiel is an asshole who deserves about every single thing I can think of but can’t post without violating the rules…

      • Spurning Beer

        Peter Thiel is really mad his mom never loved him enough.

  • Resistor Radio

    Thanks Dok, so many good words up there. Got me feeling at least a little optimistic, but somehow the bestest words described the most awful: “core corps of creeps carrying torches.”

    While I don’t expect to see any MAGA hats at the table, I’m thinking about wearing my “Impeach” hat. Any family member who compliments me on it will get one for Christmas. Also bringing yoga pants for the drive home, which seems like a sensible plan.

    Thank you, all you wonkers, for being so wonderful and smart and caring. In a world full of trolls, the nice folk gotta stick together. I love you all, be safe if you’re on the road today, don’t drink and drive, eat as much as you want and have two pieces of pie. You deserve it. We deserve it. It’s been a rough year, but I think we’re gonna make it.

    (Optimistic hugs and kisses all around) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e1423b046c0083ee06d10354b011101a158ffd9650b80b7ed8ee0bc02c530e3b.gif

  • freakishlypersistent

    Really moving, Dok. And so sadly, true.

  • frrolfe

    Just to remind people of core Rethug values, Romney style.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fPQ3AuQ1kY

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m starting to yearn for the Romney’s of the world. Trump has lowered my bar to “buried slightly underground.”

      • Shanzgood

        It’s bars all the way down.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          You say that like it is a bad thing.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I wish I still enjoyed getting drunk, because I think it would have come in handy the past year.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      I worked with Mittens at Bain and Company a long time ago. That’s were I learned to dislike him.

  • therblig
  • gallbladder

    More like “anus horribilis” nowadays.

    • Resistor Radio

      My anus is terrificus

      • gallbladder

        Se what proper hygiene can do?

        • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

          It’s vegetarian.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Vegan babby buttholes are the best…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Yup, Dok tells it like it is.

    Happy Thanksgiving despite having a cheeto-faced shitgibbon in the WH.

  • natoslug

    Happy Thanksgiving. And then the murders began.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    My mother and I had a big fight at 3am last night, and now my brother is here saying that everyone damn well is going over to the aunt’s house to make it “easier” (even though he is not happy with my mother for buying all the fixings so that she could cook the dinner on top of the takeout platter we already got), and that it’s his decision because he’s the only “adult.” I have not come out of my bedroom yet, so right now everyone thinks I am still asleep. If he does walk in, he will have to drag me out of the house kicking and screaming. I’ll stay home and eat cereal even if it causes a rift that never repairs. I am never breaking bread with this woman again.

    These people are warped. It’s just going to go on with the same fight every goddamn year until they all die. I’m at a point where I hope it happens within the next five years. And I’m at a point where I don’t care if I end up on the street when they do. Heck, it’ll be a blessing in disguise. I end up on the street alone, it’ll be that much easier to end up at the bottom of a ravine and no one will notice or care.

    Fuck “Thanksgiving,” the stupid Indian-genocide celebration turned shopping sale and pointless waste-of-time forced truce between warring factions who American culture expects to just put aside differences and really deep wounds that were never apologized for (and can’t be now because it’s really too late).

    My mother actually said that if I was dating someone and broke up with him for whatever reason, but he was going to be alone on Thanksgiving or Christmas, that she would invite him in no matter what because it’s “the right thing to do.” This is why I hate Christianity too. There’s welcoming the stranger (albeit in a controlled environment — call me heartless, but for safety purposes and “stranger danger” I wouldn’t pick up that homeless guy with the $20 in my car), and then there’s turning the other cheek so you can get kicked in the ass again. All of them are in their sixties and early seventies. They need to just hurry up and die so that I can do the same.

    • Covfefe

      Who needs a spouse when you have a mother and mother-in-Law in one package?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I honestly think she’s having a mental breakdown. A lot of it she does to herself because she either can’t or won’t let go of this Norman Rockwell fantasy, or “holiday truce,” or whatever you want to call it. We all still miss my grandmother, but it’s hit her especially hard because she was really the sole caregiver. I helped out a lot, but part of that was because this aunt (who still lives in the grandmother’s house, and that’s part of the “connection” that my mother wants to have even though the aunt destroyed the place out of selfishness — and took the reins of the estate), either couldn’t be bothered or, when she was put in a position when she had to look after grandma, would make grandma pay for it bigly for “inconveniencing” her.

        This bitch is self-centered, materialistic, and should have been reported for elder abuse. I wanted to, but my mother said no because then grandma would go to a nursing home which she didn’t want — she wanted to die at home even if it meant having to be at the mercy of my aunt. There is no greater sin to my aunt than interrupting Sean Hannity because you’re a bedridden old lady who’s wet herself and needs a change of diaper. No greater indignity for my grandmother, but that didn’t matter because see-you-auntie had the “remote control.” Kathy Bates in Misery. Why would anyone want to share a holiday or even a zip code with that?

        At one point I actually moved in to be a sort of live-in caregiver. I got thrown out I don’t know how many times over fighting with her over 1) her refusal to get in touch with a third sister, who my grandmother wanted to see, but who married well and has been absolved of any responsibility to the family because she’s rich, and 2) her hoarding, which has been a health hazard and a death trap for 20 years and only gotten worse since she’s retired. We’ve actually gotten into fisticuffs over something as meaningless as recycling newspapers.

        I’ve tried a rational approach, saying that I had seen on television a psychologist (I think it was Marie Kondo?) talking about how “information overload” is a problem for Americans and people in general need to cut down. She’s always been cruel to me for being something of a bookworm (despite the fact that she worked at a library, she hates to read), so she said to me, “well, if I wanted to cut down on information, I’d duct-tape your mouth shut.” My mother confronted her about this. She pulled an O.J. denial and said that if “someone” said that, that wouldn’t be a nice thing for them to say. Passive voice, no ownership whatever.

        My mother is going over to the house to cook this giant buffet that she doesn’t have to do but wants to anyway. There is no room, because there’s junk everywhere. You can’t use the oven because the door won’t close and there’s a gas leak that the aunt won’t repair (because it would mean “outsiders” get to see the condition of the house and probably contact authorities). My brother is hell-bent on everyone going over there and “sacking up” in his words, because he’s tired of the conflict. He hates the aunt too but just wants quiet. Thing is, not only is the place a mess but my aunt still views mom as the “hired help” who does all the cooking and table-setting, while she sits on her ass and watches Fox, or Christmas movies, or even football.

        I am not going. Like I said my brother (high school varsity gridiron, captain of the football team, and present-day gym rat) probably can pick me up and carry me out of the house in my pajamas and bathrobe, which he’ll have to resort to doing if he is that hell-bent on me going over there. These people are warped and I really can’t wait until they die. My mother, at the very least, would be a mercy death. It’s evident now that she is irrational, regressing to childhood, and seriously mentally ill.

        • suziq

          Everyone knows where you stand, sounds like tome to remove yourself for your sanity. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter serving dinner to others or anything else you can think of. Leave a note for your brother saying you appreciate that he wants the family to be together but you just can’t do it right now. You do have control over your life! It is hard to do but make plans for what is best for YOU then make it happen. Good luck. Relax (if you can).

        • ZangoCrudmonger

          Hi, that’s a lot to unload. You’ve invested yourself to exhaustion, so don’t go over there. I eventually had to not go to some events with family because it was too exhausting.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Stay sane, and do what you have to do. I have to endure the born-again hypocrisy as well … in the form of a sibling, not a parent.

      Find your independence … and then exercise it. Your health is more important than someone else’s religion.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      I’m sorry you can’t get out of that situation. It is especially galling when dysfunctional families try to maintain the Norman Rockwell façade of the happy family stereotype.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        It’s more like Ordinary People than Norman Rockwell. My brother says I’m “lazy” and won’t get a job. No, it’s more like I can’t. I’ve sent out applications; I’m just not going to click on every link at Indeed or Monster and write my name “for a good time call” sending my information to everyone and, well, their brother. I keep hoping my application to the library of my alma mater gets answered and that I get that job, because 1) it will actually give me some independence and 2) it’ll shut him up about me being a layabout.

        He majored in phys-ed in college — standard jock degree — and now works at a bank. He thinks mental health disorders (mine being PTSD, which is really just TSD because “post-” implies that the trauma is more or less over) can be treadmilled and elliptical trainered away. I have joined a gym and it does help, but really only because I’m away from home even if it’s just for an hour. That is really the only thing that will help even somewhat, is me getting away from here and being alone.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Ouch. Sorry to hear it, family can suck. Holidays are fucking tough, hope things go ok.

    • BloviateMe

      Well that’s just awful. I’m so sorry.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Cripes. Take care of yourself and good luck

    • Proactive Cooperator

      That’s too bad. I hope you will be ok. I’ve had similar experiences. I have noticed that with each death the family dynamics and loyalties can change. I have gotten closer to some and others have literally disappeared.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    We can only assume that Burroughs would say Donald Drumpf is the president America has been working toward for decades

    Charlie Pierce said much the same thing yesterday, as a response to the whining of Jeff Flake and other so called adult Republicans. Sorry Goopers, but Donnie is EXACTLY who and what your party is, not some abomination. He is the Republican id writ large. He or someone like were inevitable- you’ve been building this Frankenstein’s monster for a half century now. Don’t act surprised now that he’s kicked in your door and is laying waste to polite society…

    • freakishlypersistent

      And I always feel kinda sorry for that Richard Painter dude. He goes on and on about religious kooks and racists and ignorant, loud mouthed assholes and says they’re not a part of the Republican Poooauurrrty. No, Richard, the ARE the Republican Poooauurrrty..

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I love how they go all Captain Renault when confronted with the ugly underbelly of their party

        • Mormos

          “i am shocked, SHOCKED, to learn there is gambling going on in this establishment!”
          “captain, your winnings.”
          “thank you.”

          • Phried Ω

            Round up all the usual minorities and foreigners.

    • Zombishroom

      Gobless murica.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’ve been thinking for the past decade that the GOP’s march to the far right fringes, would eventually produce someone like Trump. I was actually expecting someone more like Roy Moore, since I didn’t think the Evangelicals would go for such an obvious heathen and charlatan as Dotard.

    • jesterpunk
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yup. From Tricky Dick on, this is where it has been going.

    • Ellie

      Pierce was spot on. Thanks for mentioning him. He is right, and so are you. He is the monster they’ve built.

  • Joe Beese
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Heaven thanks the Jesuits … educated and reasoned.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        And the Iroquois liked them seasoned.

        (I am so sorry. I can’t control my brain.)

    • The Wanderer

      Ah, a Jesuit. The people who developed casuistry to a fine art to excuse anything.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        (I had to look up the word)

        I’ve had good luck with Jesuits … maybe it’s just me. All the ones I know are thinking based on reality and haven’t tried to excuse anything. I guess I haven’t met enough of them.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Pope Francis is Jesuit and so are Les Trudeaux. That’s why the Alex Jones crowd thinks they’re communists. There is a longstanding conspiracy theory that Jesuits were brought about by crypto-Jewish infiltrators of the Catholic Church. Yes, Virginia, of all the ridiculous pejorative variations on the last name of the Canadian PM that tinfoil wing nuts have come up with, one of them is literally “Justin Judeau.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Papist! Unbeliever! ACTUAL FOLLOWER OF JESUS!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        ‘This song was written in New York City
        Of rich man, preacher, and slave
        If Jesus was to preach what He preached in Galilee,
        They would lay poor Jesus in His grave.’
        Woody Guthrie

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I’m just enjoying the Macy’s parade this morning…

    https://i0.wp.com/www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2017/07/Christie-Balloon.jpeg

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m glad Christie ended up with such massively low approval ratings. Hopefully, NJ won’t have another Republican governor during my lifetime.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Something something short memories something something.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yabut. He let the commuter infrastructure go. Jersey Governors are supposed to fuck poor kids, not commuters who spend their out of state salaries at the local malls.

      • Blackest Noobs

        New Jerseyian or an expat?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Expat, and also “concerned citizen of America.”

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Springsteen/Van Zandt 2020?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          It would be a blowout of epic proportions.

    • jesuswasablack

      I hear there’s a softball game after the parade!
      http://i.imgur.com/ahHuzM7.jpg

      • BloviateMe

        He really should tuck that one labia in. It’s unbecoming.

        • jesuswasablack

          The larger the waistband the deeper the quicksand, you know what I mean?

        • OutOfOrbit

          oh my but you are naughty today ( :

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Fun fact: the singular is “labium”.

          (You probably don’t want to know why I was looking that up.)

      • LosFelizGuy

        He really is THE trump poster boy.

      • Ωbjectifier

        I didn’t know he is jewish.

      • Rick Hill

        Double Ewwww

    • Rick Hill

      Ewww

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Nope.

  • jesuswasablack

    I saw that Trump made it to his gold plated study at maralego to address the troops on thanksgiving by skype, what a fucking waste! Hell even shrub left the ranch to great them in person!
    https://twt-media.washtimes.com/media/image/2013/11/27/11272013_ap031127019218201.jpg

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Trump is the only person in the world who could make GWB look good, and Trump has. Bush’s approval ratings going up, even among Democrats.

      • jesuswasablack

        Right who ever thought we would look back with fondness at a spineless war criminal?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I didn’t even think we’d be able to find a president as incompetent as Bush in my lifetime. How very wrong I was.

      • OrG

        Not my ratings. STILL SUCKS.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          The Overton window is powerful my friend. I don’t automatically want to vomit when I see Bush’s face now.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      see also my Buzzfeed link…

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    WTF is wrong with this idjit? He basically found the closest beach to his golf course so he could bore the local Coast Guard detachment for a few minutes and check a box to keep Kelly and Mattis quiet, before heading out to play 18 holes. But he is just soooo fucking dumb. Be proud, Murica…

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/tomnamako/trump-coast-guard-thanksgiving?bffbworld&utm_term=.tbnKmYwJ#.qfRLA2EW

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Melania Trump: Happy Thanksgiving.

      Donnie, all you had to to do was say those two words. Your wife, who is NotAmerican and doesn’t have English as her first language, understood that.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Amazing, ain’t it?

    • Doug Langley

      When I think about the President we nearly had . . .

  • OrG

    It FEELS like Saturday. But it’s only Thursday!

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Drink!

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Feels like Sunday, I opened some wine.

  • IdiotsforPalin
    • Michael R

      Did this really happen ?
      Are there other realities ?

      • puredog

        It’s just an excellent photoshop. The slightly longer version ends up from Trump’s perspective looking up at the tackler, as said tackler admonishes him about. . . .something. (Disrespecting women, prolly.)

  • Rick Hill

    Reprint: by popular demand
    So…last night’s expedition for the duck was a totally worthless endeavor as Mrs Hill decided to get a precooked one at the local Asian market. So, we’re taking that to a dinner with her coworkers and I’ve been instructed to not embarrass her. (You can imagine how unpossible that would be, considering how awesome your local Rick Hill is being)

  • janecita

    I’ve reached peak “housewife,” I asked for a cookware set for Christmas:-)

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Still have our stainless All-Clad after 22 years of marriage, so yeah … good thing to have.

      • Jonny On Maui

        All-Clad rocks.

        • Old Nick

          Forty nine years with aluminum-clad stainless steel Farberware and a big black cast iron frying pan. When we married we were given Teflon stuff which we really didn’t want, so we asked the in-laws to send it back and get us stainless. Happy cooking ever since. Caveat – plastic lid handles broke but a great replacement is the rounded top inch and half of a broken shovel handle. Also a conversation piece. i.e. What the hell is that?

      • Duke

        Oh, hell…

        We still use the RevereWare we got when married 32 years ago. And most of that was hand-me-downs from both sets of parents. Stainless with copper bottoms. Never will wear out. Never will break.

    • puredog

      I’m a housedude, and I LOVE my cookware. If you get the right stuff, you’ll never look back. My sister bought me a set of Le Creuset when I graduated from law school, and I’m still happily using it decades later.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        We have a couple of Le Creuset pans as well. Lovely to cook with and indestructible.

        • puredog

          Chippable, though. I’m an estate sale junkie, and ALWAYS start with the kitchen.

      • janecita

        I asked for copper cookware, hopefully it will be good.

        • puredog

          I have very little copper, and a high tolerance for tarnish.

    • shastakoala

      Yesterday I braved the stores and bought wine glasses without the stems. Which I suppose means they’re just glasses. Any who, kinda happy about that.

    • tehbaddr

      At least you asked for it. Imagine receiving a domestic maintenance item you didn’t really want or need.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You remind me of my mother’s face every Christmas when she opened a present to find a domestic maintenance item that she didn’t really want. She put on a face of great joy, but as I got older I could see through it. Ditto for Mother’s Day. Eventually we figured out that what she really wanted was yarn to knit us ugly sweaters that we didn’t want to wear, so we started giving her yarn and knitting books. She was happy, and we gave the sweaters to the Salvation Army. The sweaters probably ended up in some third world country where poor people said “What an ugly sweater!”

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Fondue pot. Not really maintenance, tho, unless you plan on driving away friends as if they were vermin.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      And good German knives. Expensive but worth every penny.

      • NellCote71

        Good knives take precedence over all other kitchen implements.

        • VirginiaMorningBlend

          I will agree with this until I get a Swiss can opener. I can dream!

          • puredog

            You wouldn’t think, it being all landlocked and all, that Switzerland would even HAVE clams.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I live in Missouri, which is as landlocked as you can get, and we have clams, but they come in cans, and they don’t taste like clams, they taste like nothing much. I buy them anyway and pretend I am eating clams.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I once had a fantastic electric can opener, but every time I used it the cats would come running and attack me. Now I use a manual one and they leave me alone.

      • janecita

        That sounds good! Birthday present;-)

      • puredog

        Pro Tip: Get Victorinox. A fraction of the price of Wusthof, Henckel, and all that other Kraut steel, and as good or better.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I had a set of razor-sharp high carbon steel knives with wood handles that my parents bought in the 50’s and gave to me when I became independent and got my first apartment (that apartment was furnished entirely from their unwanted stuff, I told people I had hired an interior decorator who specialized in the style called “Early Parent’s Basement”). Those knives could cut anything no effort at all! Hurricane Katrina ruined them, and I have not been able to find equivalent replacements. This is a great sad. Good knives are a gift from the goddess.

    • Proactive Cooperator

      I say spend money, when you can, for good things you use a lot. Le toilet papaier, alum foil, tools, and cookware.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Thirty years ago I visited my aunt for Thanksgiving and she said “I have this cookware set I bought for my daughter, but she didn’t want it and I kept it in a box in the basement. Would you like to have it?” I said “Yes, thanks!” It was one of those “water-less” cookware sets that people used to sell at house parties in the 70’s, called Lustre Craft. Stainless steel, very heavy, with interchangeable lids. I still have it and use it every day. It survived Hurricane Katrina unscathed, and nothing sticks to it. It will probably still be in great shape long after I have died. I would not take any amount of money for it. Thank you, Aunt Tilda!

  • tehbaddr

    Starting to re-hydrate the dried cranberries for relish, sizing up the bacon wrapped pork loin roast and yams for baking time.

  • wait! what?

    Trump in Thanksgiving message: ‘The enthusiasm in this country has never been higher’
    -The Hill

    The enthusiasm for pedophiles and Nazis has never been higher in this country,

    #nazipedophilerepublicanorgasm

    • ChumpsForTrump

      Being serious, enthusiasm and engagement are really high lately.. just not in a way that’s favorable to His Marmalade Majesty.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      At least not since the Ford era.

      (Henry Ford, that is.)

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “Jodie Foster” I’m guessing is Peppermint Patty?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        prolly

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Rick Hill

      Hey! You being in a foreign land, I want to wish you Happy Thanksgiving from America! One of our country’s traditions, I’m not certain you are familiar with.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      What about mixing your drinks.”Beer after wine and you’ll feel fine; wine after beer and you’ll feel queer.’ (‘Queer’ as in the older sense of ‘strange’. Curse this ever changing language.)

      • Shanzgood

        I always just heard “don’t mix the grape and the grain”.

      • Proactive Cooperator

        I don’t drink on holidays. I find it helps my credibility when explaining things to the police.

      • tehbaddr

        Liquor up front, Poker in the rear. Wait, wut were we not commenting about?

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          ISWYDT. You’re quite the cunning linguist.

          • Proactive Cooperator

            ISWYDT. :0-

      • puredog

        “Wine before whisky, mighty risky.”

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Ohhhhhhh no. Bad idea. Not my family. Then the murders will literally begin. (There should be a disclaimer on that article: Not recommended for families with a history of alcoholism, substance abuse or serious mental illness.) That’s why I can’t really relate to all the “drinky” posts here. I hate Trump too, but I’m a teetotaler because I have to and want to be. I have trouble even going to restaurants that have liquor licenses. Usually end up at Friendly’s or McDonald’s because I have a blood-curdling fear of anything fermented. Is there a word for that? “Alcophobia”? I know Prohibition didn’t work (in fact, it made things much worse), same with marijuana. I support legalization of the, eh, “maple leaf” too, but just keep that stuff away from me. Some people are allergic to peanuts, to various flower pollens, etc. Mental illness is, in my view, an allergy to alcohol and weed.

      • puredog

        “dipsophobia”

  • Shanzgood
    • Phried Ω

      If scalp hunting gets serious in the congress it could be more decisive than the 2018 election.

      • Shanzgood

        There’s probably SO many of them.

        • puredog

          Not quite AOT,K, but close enough for government work.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’re staying anonymous, though.

      Right. Sure.

      • Shanzgood

        There are lots of situations where I would remain anonymous. Like when I don’t want to get doxxed and/or lose my job.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I’m taking this Thanksgiving off. Fuck it. Fettuccini with Bolognese. I simply am out of charming small-talk. And i fucking hate badly cooked turkey.

    • Rick Hill

      Bolognese? Pepper loaf or gtfo!

    • NellCote71

      Should be tagliatelle, not fettuccine. Just saying…

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Probably. But I have to go with what I have.

        • NellCote71

          Understood. Having lived in Bologna for 10 years, I am somewhat a nit picker.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            I believe they get really annoyed if you use spaghetti.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Do not make me break out the strozzapreti!

          • puredog

            I love strozzapreti.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It’s my favorite pasta. Both for the shape and the name.

          • NellCote71

            Insanely so.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Actually, that sounds WAY better than Trad Thanksgiving.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I’ll probably go find a cheap remaindered turkey leg tomorrow. And roast it on top of some bread stuffing. But today? Fuck it.

        • Suttree

          I made meat stuffing last night to go to the place that I am not attending. It is supper tasty!.

    • Suttree
      • janecita

        What was your excuse?

        • Suttree

          Ouch my back. It is the truth, kinda.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well played.

          • Suttree

            I really don’t want to make a scene in front of a dozen people. I used to like the man before he called me the day after the election and heckled me.

          • Paul

            He seems nice.

          • janecita

            Smart boy;-)

          • Suttree
          • HooverVilles

            Cute!

          • Red Richmond

            I read an article on CNN about how the back brace and girdle JFK wore probably contributed to him being successfully assassinated, by holding him upright after the first hit so he was still a clear target for the bullet that killed him. I didn’t realize just how much physical suffering he went through in his life- I knew he had health issues there near the end that were being concealed but the extent and longevity and lengths he went through to deal with them were just staggering.

            Anyways, I’m thankful you got out of that mess with those folks, and hope your back isn’t really as bad as all that.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Good for you. Enjoy your peace.

        • Suttree

          I might have to dl some Arlo.

      • HooverVilles

        Purrrrrr!

    • eggs ackly-wright

      It’s chicken boobs with chanterelles for this kid. And a nice NZ sauvignon blanc. And a nap.

      • Suttree

        One of my favorite dishes is chix breast stuffed with morels in a brandy champagne cream sauce.

        • puredog

          That sounds like a keeper.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      You seem very nice and I’m sorry you’re stressed.

      This is likely mansplaning. But, here’s to the soft bigotry of low expectations. My mom used to expect perfect holiday dinners. Then one kid went to the Army and one kid to prison. Now, we’re home and there or we call. She’s just as happy, if not more.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        You are very kindt. Thank you .

  • Proactive Cooperator

    Well said. Thanks also there is a Wonketteville to go to sometimes.

  • doktorzoom

    Also, there’s the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Turkey Day Marathon. Links here (please no one comment with the Youtube link since a streaming marathon would probably do bad things to Disqus): http://www.mst3k.com/2017_turkey_day_marathon

    • freakishlypersistent

      It’s on after the doggies. It’s an old and storied tradition in my house. Thanks for the link!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I have shitty internet. I miss when it used to come on Comedy Central.

    • tehbaddr

      Imma planning on viewing that, but I’m kinda locked into WFMU and Diane’s Kamikaze Fun Machine at the moment.

      I am in no way affiliated w/ or paid by WFMU, commercial free listener supported free-form radio.

    • The Wanderer

      My system here at work doesn’t support the video, but that’s okay. Club-Mst3k has what you need if you want to have an episode.

    • Bobathonic

      ShoutTV is on the Pluto app.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Thanks. Will probably tune in when we get to our oldest’s place. Currently, watching TOS on BBC.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Fencing Sulu just showed up.

        • Serai 1

          “Sorry, neither!”

          Still cracks me up.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            My favorite Uhura line. Reportedly, Nichelle Nichols adlibed it.

          • Serai 1

            I do not doubt it. Goddess Nichelle is FIERCE!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/451d885f087ef6e6abce487a9fc64212244d6ec84513959c0c5a136c06ca22cb.gif

            There’s a great anecdote that David Gerrold told in his book The Trouble with Tribbles. Seems the cinematographer was directing the gaffers to adjust the key light on Uhura’s station while Nichelle was sitting there. He was waving his arms and yelling his instructions, and at one point he kept repeating, “No, no, more. She’s black! She’s black!” By this he meant, in lighting lingo, that her face was not showing up well on camera and needed more light. He kept yelling “she’s black!” while the set fell into an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly he realized what he was saying, and looked at Nichelle with a stricken expression. She, fierce goddess pro that she is, simply smiled and said with a wink, “But comely.

            The entire set cracked up laughing, the tension broke, and everything was fine. What a woman!

    • Serai 1

      Wow, they still do those? THANKS!

      P.S. You can post the streaming link by putting a space in it and telling people to cut-and-paste and then repair the link. That’s what I do when I post a URL that I don’t want tracked, for instance.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From “If Roy Moore Isn’t Rock Bottom for Republicans, What the Hell Is?”
    A Moore win in Alabama would signal a level of hypocrisy and hyper-partisanship that bodes poorly for America:

    “Recalling the rabid anti-Russian attitudes held by Republicans throughout the Cold War era, it was a shock to the senses to see so many so-called conservatives excusing Trump’s obvious blind spot toward Russian malfeasance. It was hard to digest. If we as Americans could agree on anything, it’s that Russians are the Bad Guys. Doesn’t anyone remember Rocky IV?

    Failing that, we can at least agree that heavily sourced allegations of child molestation are disqualifying for a job in the United States Senate. Or so it seemed.

    That raises a question – the kind of moral question we ask of our political system only when we are eager to be deeply disappointed by the answer: Is the Republican Party willing to protect and support an accused child abuser in order to keep a bare majority in the Senate?

    If that happens, we will have reached a level of hypocrisy and hyper-partisanship that bodes very poorly for the ability of this system to function moving forward. Remember how the right frothed at the mouth over Anthony Weiner’s sexual contact with an underage girl? Remember how conservative Evangelicals mobilized to keep transgender people out of bathrooms to “protect our daughters”? Remember how it took Milo Yiannopoulos’ comments about pedophilia for the alt-right to turn on him?

    It is bad enough that we have had to spend ten months engaging in morally relativistic discussions about treason and foreign interference in our elections. “Is a little Russian meddling really so bad?” is not a question asked in sane or healthy political discourse. Now we will end the year with the right forcing a national conversation about whether a 32-year-old man allegedly molesting a 14-year-old girl after picking her up from outside a child custody hearing is disqualifying for service in the Senate.

    If this is not rock bottom, then “rock bottom” is no longer a useful concept.”

    I keep wondering how low they’re willing to go.

    http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/features/if-roy-moore-isnt-rock-bottom-for-republicans-what-is-w511620

    • Toledo Window Box

      An interesting question: if they’ll vote for a child molester, is there anybody they WON’T vote for?

      I mean, other than a Democrat, or a Muslim, of course! (-;

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m genuinely curious as to how many votes Hitler’s reanimated corpse would get in America in 2020. If Trump was out of the race, I think it could easily top 20,000,000 votes, particularly if he started saying he’d accepted Jesus Christ into his heart when he was dead. Of course he’d probably have to tone down the Jew stuff a bit, and focus more on the ungrateful blacks, the criminal Messicans, and the Muslims.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Nah, he wouldn’t have to tone down the Jew stuff at all. He’d just have to adjust the language a bit: Write an executive order promising a Madagascar Plan to have all the Jews returned to their “Biblical home” of Israel.

          Then he’d go ahead and side with Iran (which literally means “Aryan”) to have them nuked, and Republicans would praise Hitler for bringing about the Rapture.

          Forget it Jake, it’s America.

        • Toledo Window Box

          Hmm, corpse of Hitler, or a Democrat? Tough decision… (-;

      • bbayliss

        Atheist

        • Toledo Window Box

          You’re on to something there.

          • bbayliss

            Yeah, it’s pretty good. get to keep all your money, Sunday’s aren’t a bummer,
            And one can rid one’s self of some cranial detritus.

    • TootsStansbury

      Shit, Tr*no was rock bottom. Sexual predator that he is.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Who is Tr*no? Trump? I’d say Roy Moore is worse than Trump. I’m not sure who is worse than Roy Moore.

        • puredog

          Word. At least, were he to grab the pussy of a bad-ass adult woman, Trump could wind up on his ass. Moore preyed (allegedly) on relatively defenseless *children*.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Plus, I think kids are just more likely to go along with what an adult, authority figure tells them.

        • Serai 1

          Oh honey, there have been FAR FAR FAR worse predators than Roy Moore, are you kidding?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Like who? Denny Hastert? Mark Foley? I’m not sure they were worse, just similar.

          • Serai 1

            Um, Ted Bundy. Charles Manson. Every fucking slave trader still peddling young children to perverts. The list is long.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Oh, I thought you meant politicians. I’d agree that Ted Bundy and Manson were worse than Moore, but I wouldn’t be completely stunned to find out Moore has some dead kids in his crawl space. He’s pretty deranged, and I thought that BEFORE I knew he tried to rape teenagers.

        • TootsStansbury

          If you ever see this, it is Trump, while riding on Rte. 66 in a Smart Car.

    • Serai 1

      It would prove to the world that all our cant about human rights is just bullshit.

  • Parakeetist

    Watching the dog show before football starts! Wish someone would throw a tennis ball to the dogs…

    • Serai 1

      You know, they should do that – as a test. Line up all the contestants and have them pose prettily, then someone in the audience (seated randomly) lobs a tennis ball onto the field. Whoever breaks form and chases it loses points. (Or perhaps gains them depending on the quality of their chase!)

  • BadKitty904
    • eggs ackly-wright

      You, too, BK.

    • Lord Jim

      Happy Turkey to you and the Big Cat as well.

      • BadKitty904

        *purrs*

    • BosGrl

      Happy Turkey Day, BK! <3

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yay. And i hope you have a lovely day!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    There was a very well-written column in a newspaper a day or two after Carter was elected in 1976, written by a nationally-syndicated columnist whose name I have forgotten, but I think it was either Jack Anderson or Art Buchwald (I remember the accompanying photo was of an “old” man, but I was 20 and anyone over 40 looked “old”). The subject was the great blessing of living in a democratic constitutional republic where the peaceful transfer of power, involving a total change in policies and administrations, did not include a single shot being fired, or anyone even THINKING of firing a shot, and no men in uniforms marched into legislative houses to arrest half of the elected representatives, there were no riots in the streets, and vast numbers of citizens did not “disappear.” The writer’s main point was how Americans take this blessing for granted (the chaos in Chile was a very recent memory). I cut it out of the newspaper and kept it for years, but I lost it somewhere. I have not been able to find it again in the archives of the Des Moines Register, or the Washington Post, or the Christian Science Monitor, which were the papers I subscribed to at the time. Do any of you “olds” remember this column? I’d give quite a lot to find a copy, considering the times we live in now. I have searched the Web in vain.

    • puredog

      Don’t know that one, but here’s an old favorite Thanksgiving column.
      http://www.sfchronicle.com/entertainment/carroll/article/A-song-of-thanks-a-grat-etude-2014-5919612.php

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My favorite author, Bill Bryson, says Thanksgiving is the PERFECT holiday, because all you do is eat a lot of tasty, home-cooked food, often accompanied by alcoholic beverages, and then sit around watching football or having conversations or taking a nap, and you are not required to shop for presents and wrap them, or send cards to anyone. Of course, he is a man, and he didn’t have to spend 24 hours shopping for, preparing, and cooking the food, or cleaning up afterwards. But I agree with him, in general.

    • Phried Ω

      The message doesn’t sound like either Anderson or Buchwald. Anderson was a muckraking waste, fraud, and abuse exposer (Wapo). Not at all into optimism. Buchwald (Herald Trib, I think) was a satirist but did have sympathy for the common man. I think the writer must have been somebody else.

      • vivian

        Yeah, I’m thinking of that guy from the Baltimore Sun, what was his name? Ah! Jack Germond. Maybe him.

    • TundraGrifter

      November 22nd was the day President John F. Kennedy was killed. We happened to have 3 citizens of the Soviet Union staying in our home at the time. There were over 20 in a town of about 5,000 people. Our guests were glued to the television set – as you can well imagine. This was the Cold War and they thought they were going to be blamed for it.

      I was 12 years old. They asked me who was going to be the next President. I said “The Vice President.” They asked “How do you know?” Thinking I was just a kid (which was certainly true). I said “Everybody knows.” They said “Everybody?” I said “Sure.”

      They saw it unfold before their eyes. No military, no riots, no shooting. The peaceful transition of power in an incredibly difficult and very sad time. They began to see much of what they had been told about the US of A was a lie.

      • Phried Ω

        We share a birth year.

        • puredog

          Me also too.

      • Serai 1

        Man, that is a beautiful story. Thank you for telling it.

        • TundraGrifter

          Thank you! I think it’s good to remember right through here. There’s a temptation to think our nation hasn’t survived worse times than we are experiencing right now. Compared to some of our past events, while this isn’t a day at the beach it’s not even close to much of what we’ve not only gone through but been the better after it was all over.

          • Serai 1

            I keep hoping and praying that this disaster will bring us to a better, more stable, more compassionate state. Hard to see how, but we’ve got to hope.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s a fascinating story, you should write it up and send it to someone to publish. I was 7 when Kennedy died, what I remember most is that grownups seemed shocked and were walking around in a fog, sometimes crying. Up until that moment I had thought that grownups were all-powerful, and the knowledge that they weren’t was very scary.

        • TundraGrifter

          Thank you! It was quite an experience. Those gentlemen were even more scared after Jack Ruby shot Lee Harvey Oswald – again, as you might expect. Our three guests were glued to the television for days. We had an enjoyable Thanksgiving – their first and probably their last experience with the most American (for better or for worse; I’m thinking mostly for better) of holidays.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            This is definitely a story worth publishing. Thanks for sharing it.

    • vivian

      You might check the Baltimore Sun archives…

  • VirginiaMorningBlend

    One of the nicest things is smelling the turkey in the oven. Happy memories, and hope for one more good meal. The calm before the side dish and rolls crisis. One year we might skip the cheese and fancy charcuterie platter that we destroy before dinner. But good traditions die hard.

    • Serai 1

      the cheese and fancy charcuterie platter

      Ah, what we call el picoteo – a range of little snacks set out either before a meal, or in place of one when you have guests over and you just plan on hanging out. (Picoteo from pico, a bird’s beak – thus, foods you peck at.) As a Spanish family, we would never dream of cutting out the picoteo. It’s practically required!

  • Jonny On Maui
    • shastakoala

      Lovely

    • Shanzgood

      Beautiful!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That is pretty. A rare ray of hope on what for so many of us is a horrible day.

    • HooverVilles

      Nice!

  • TootsStansbury

    Happy Thanksgiving fellow travelers!

    • freakishlypersistent

      Right back atcha, Rooty Tootin’ Toots!

    • TJ Barke

      Seize the means of turducken!

    • puredog

      No traveling today (shudder).

    • Old Nick

      Betty and I are still suffering from a dread 10day sore throat virus (antibiotic did nothing) but we have each other, a bottle of Chambord for sipping and a big roaster chicken.. I would have liked to see my son’s in laws while they are here, but I think it is prudent to limit exposure to this bug. Maybe we’ll drive by and wave from the truck. Happy Thanksgiving to our strange but civilized community!!! Hi Donna Rose. Do you still like your vest?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Made stuffed shells, garlic bread and cranberry sauce — heading out shortly to have them with Mpeg and family. You all have helped me get through this horror show of a year, and this community is definitely one of the things I’m thankful for. So happy Thanksgiving each and every one of you!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Stuffed shells AND turkey? What an embarrassment of riches.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Well I’m not gonna eat the turkey, so I always make some sort of vegetarian entree. And stuffed shells have always been the first course at my Italian side’s big dinners, so it’s a natural option. Even if I didn’t make the pasta myself and didn’t can the tomatoes from my garden, which they did.

        Their dinners were dazzling — stuffed shells, then salad, then turkey with stuffing, candied yams, then a ham course, mashed potatoes and gravy, sauteed mushrooms, a platter of fruit at the end, then pies, then coffee and liqueurs. About thirty to forty people would come from all over the country. My great-uncle started us off with an Our Father and a Hail Mary before we all dove in.

        The kids all dressed up — I had to wear a jacket and tie, and everyone else looked really nice, up until we played tag in the backyard while the adults fell into restful comas while football was on. Those were different times — so I haven’t been to a Thanksgiving dinner that was anything but modest by comparison.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          If you have a newsletter describing the ghosts of Thanksgiving’s past, I’d like to subscribe.

  • BosGrl

    Happy Thanksgiving, Dok. Grateful for our community of smart, funny, kind, yet snarky, souls that sustains us through our current trial. Enjoy your day, everyone, wherever you are, however you mark this day of thanks.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    The fuck?!?

    U.S. votes against U.N. resolution condemning Nazism

    Why the hell did we fight that war in the first place?!?!?

    • Jonny On Maui

      So we can do it again…

      • OrG

        Which side will “we” be on?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          the wrong one, obv.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            The U.S opposed the resolution, apparently, because it wasn’t expansive enough and could lead to limitations of freedom of expression.

            “We condemn without reservation all forms of religious and ethnic intolerance or hatred at home and around the world,” Deputy U.S. Representative to the Economic and Social Council Stefanie Amadeo told CBS News, explaining the U.S. vote. “However, due to this resolution’s overly narrow scope and politicized nature, and because it calls for unacceptable limits on the fundamental freedom of expression, the United States cannot support it.”

            Resolutions in General Assembly committees are not legally binding, but this vote shows consistency with the U.S.’s defense of free speech over its condemnation of hate speech.

            …and of course we voted against it because FROZEN PEACHES LOLOLOLOL REEEEEEEE HITLER DID NOTHING WRONG HE WAS A MARTYR FOR THE FIRST AMENDMENT!!!!!1111!

            “Politicized nature”?!?!? Seriously? NAZIS WANT TO TAKE AWAY FREEDOM AND DON’T DESERVE THE FREEDOM TO DO THAT! What the FUCK is wrong with this country?

          • Serai 1

            It’s full of Nazis, that’s what’s wrong with it. Most people either don’t remember or don’t realize that we didn’t WANT to enter WWII. We only did it because the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. Before that, we had no intention of getting involved.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            In fairness, much of that was due to post WWI isolationism

          • Phried Ω

            and the sweet profits of military exports.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          The Upside Down and Bass-Ackwards. We’re there already. You know we’ve come full circle when the Allies are Germany and France. Canada too, except they’re sort of being held hostage by the “meth lab downstairs” (Robin Williams, PBUH).

      • Suttree

        Can I move to your island? Living on the contiguous sucks.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Oh, I’m on the contiguous too… just an admirer of Canada from afar. As for islands, well…

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2b76293a84a26923604fce48e4fdf8f846b71b70f59061a13a85b7bf9787629e.jpg

          • Maybe

            I don’t want to move to Canada (California is wonderful), but I would willing swap them Trump fro Trudeau. Heck, we could throw in Alaska.

            And Texas.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Better yet, retcon the Revolutionary War and declare Lesser Canada a permanent colony of the far more civilized Greater Canada to the north. Make America Great Britain Again (and Nouvelle France for the first time).

          • PubOption

            Nouvelle France was bought out in 1803.

          • Serai 1

            I’m getting pretty fucking tired of SoCal, myself. It’s getting much too fucking hot. I want to go back up to the central coast!

          • Maybe

            I live in Northern California, which is not suffering from the warming and drought nearly as badly as SoCal. We have seen an increase in heat, but we’ve been getting rain.

            One problem is that California generally has a dry summer, but people have created artificial water sources to deal with that. Now we’re getting hotter and running low on water and mountain snow.

            Maybe I should rethink Canada.

          • Serai 1

            I’d probably want to head up there, but I have nothing to offer them, so I wouldn’t get in. *sigh*

          • Maybe

            They do have very high entrance standards.

            Besides, it might not be far enough away from Trump.

          • Spurning Beer

            Hey GGS, are you a Vo Dilander? Are you a Brownie?

            I’ve felt so lonely here.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Just next door in Lizzie Land (Ernie Moniz’s old stomping ground) and a ways down from Herman Mel-ville (Pete Souza’s stomping ground). Once the jewel of the American textile industry, it’s now the Detroit of the Northeast.

          • Spurning Beer

            I emigrated from Scituate RI to Florida almost 15 years ago.

            Did you go to Brown, or just listen to the radio?

        • Jonny On Maui

          Come any time brah

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Oh, right. I forgot. Kind of like how we’re in the process of retconning the Civil War.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3ed91e0a9ed4b8f2ded94b1fc235ca85f3532f09d5d7842dc30b7b8ccf758409.png

        • Maybe

          I don’t think it ever went away. The losers are still celebrating and exalting their victimhood.

          Why do macho types just love to label themselves as victims? And usually as victims of people they despise?

          • TJ Barke

            Good excuse for being a fucking asshole.

          • Maybe

            I didn’t know they needed an excuse. Trump supporters seem to be proud of it.

            Joke from the tv series “Justified:”
            “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”

        • Serai 1

          Pretty sure we’re going to end up having to fight THAT war again, too.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Heck, we’re still butthurt over losing to the Canadians. Hence the national anthem, a war porn hymn set to the melody of a British pub song. Michael Moore’s only fictional movie is going to get recategorized as a documentary.

          • Serai 1

            I am so wishing for the day when some anthem singer at some sports thingie decides to sing To Anachreon in Heaven instead as a protest.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MVYl8iy2Ic

    • Parakeetist

      Fucking trash. My grandfather’s brother fought in Normandy. This is an insult to his memory.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        My grandmother’s brother fought both the European and Pacific Fronts. Not to mention, my mother’s whole side are ancestrally Jewish. Portugal was fascist but ostensibly “neutral” during that time, but still: Anti-semitism never goes away, and for the U.S. to go ahead and do something like this is not only an affront to our soldiers but to the victims of Nazism and literally every single person with a shred of human decency. So much for supporting our troops.

      • Serai 1

        It’s an insult to America and Americans in general. It’s an insult to everything this country is supposed to be about.

    • tehbaddr

      This really is the most Bizzaro time line!

    • The Wanderer

      “However, due to this resolution’s overly narrow scope and politicized nature, and because it calls for unacceptable limits on the fundamental freedom of expression, the United States cannot support it.”
      Of course it’s politicized! It’s a fucking political ideology, one that should have been outlawed worldwide as soon as the guns fell silent in 1945.

    • Spurning Beer

      Three guesses what happens when the UN Resolution Against Child Sexual Abuse comes up for a vote.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        We already voted against the Rights of the Child resolution because wingnuts were afraid it would lead to a ban on religious homeschooling and subvert “parental sovereignty” to globalists. “Parental sovereignty” meaning things like the “religious freedom” to sign away your child to be married off at 10 years old, not vaccinate them because “the devil’s injections gave them autism,” or indoctrinate them with unscientific and oftentimes hateful bullshit about other people. The U.S. is fucktarded.

        • Serai 1

          You’re forgetting beating your children with PVC pipes, locking them in basements and closets, smothering them to death with blankets, and other fun “disciplinary” activities.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            But won’t someone think of the innocent children who might encounter a trans person in the bathroom?!?!?!?!?!?

            Fucking hypocritical fascists.

    • Serai 1

      Because we were attacked on our own soil. That’s the ONLY reason we got involved. Before that, we weren’t planning on it at all. “Europe should take care of itself,” was the prevailing attitude.

      • OutOfOrbit

        and then Pearl Harbor & KaBoom!

      • puredog

        Well, at the outset, the war was supposedly about lebensraum, like most wars are (“nothing to see here”). The extent of Hitler’s monstrosity did not become widely known until somewhat later. I’m not saying that his monstrosity was UNknown, but not well-known to its extent.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          America was complicit and has never fully acknowledged its role

          https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/3a/IBM_and_the_Holocaust_%28cover%29.jpg/220px-IBM_and_the_Holocaust_%28cover%29.jpg

          …needs a sequel about the GRIFT tech companies (Google, Reddit, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter) who colluded with fascist Russia this time. Zuckerberg is the worst because he’s Jewish and sold out to Nazis. The Rosenbergs were executed for less.

        • Crank Tango

          Wasn’t it laid out in his book, the Art of the Struggle?

        • Serai 1

          No, actually. I was reading the book IBM and the Holocaust, and was astounded at how MUCH everyone knew about what was going on. It was in the papers, including the NYT, all the time. There were massive protests, all kinds of shit. But the government just didn’t want to get involved. People knew, all right. But our leaders didn’t care enough.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Lindbergh is a hero to the alt-reich. There’s a cottage industry of attempting to prove once and for all that the guy accused of kidnapping his child was, of course, a Jew.

        This should be on everyone’s mandatory reading list. Until such time as it becomes illegal to read because Hair Drumpfsterfire only likes the poorly educated.

        https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41NlrGwdCOL._SX283_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

        • Serai 1

          Have you read The Plot Against America, by Philip Roth? A novel about how things might have gone had Lindbergh run for president. Fucking CHILLING how much of it relates to the shit we’re going through right now.

    • Walter Wellstone
      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        The religious freedom to engage in hate speech. Orwell must be spinning in his grave.

  • Saxo the Grammarian
  • SterWonk

    After hell, things got better, so there’s your happy ending.

    “When you’re going through Hell, keep going.” — attributed to Winston Churchill

    Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow members of the nasty, vile, little snark mob. Peace be unto you.

  • Walter Wellstone

    I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks the 2016 annus is more horrible than 2017’s anus—I mean annus; sorry.

    • Beelzebubba

      The Anus Horribilis is in the White House.

    • tehbaddr

      Since 11/16 it’s been anus’ all the way down!

  • TJ Barke

    Thank FSM I’ve got 4g along I5.

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • proudgrampa

      You’re not texting and driving, are ya?

      • TJ Barke

        Of course not.

        • puredog

          Washington has recently enacted a truly nasty anti-distracted-driving law, and I’ll bet the WSP is thick on the ground today. You get stopped for even having a device IN YOUR HAND you’ll be looking at a fine that will rattle your teeth. Seriously.

          • TJ Barke

            Again, I’m not driving.

          • puredog

            Even if you’re a passenger, just a word to the wise in case you got tempted to share some of the fine nuclear-grade snark we got here with your driver. Happy Turkey!

          • shivaskeeper

            My paying job has me driving through and around five counties in in WA State. I have no problem with the law. Set the next GPS location, set the phone in a cradle so I can glance at it and go.

            I can still use hands free to talk if I need to. I don’t see the issue. I mean, yeah, parts of it a written kind of stupidly, like you can touch the phone, but only with one finger.

            I don;t really see the issue.

        • proudgrampa

          Good.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • proudgrampa

    Someday, when I am out of fucks to give and don’t care, I am going to recite this poem to all the guests.

    Who knows, today may be the day…

    • bbayliss

      I do it every year.

  • Michael R
    • CripesAmighty

      K&W Cafeteria’s still open…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        K&W in NC is pretty good if I remember it correctly.

        Never mind, I realized it was a different cafeteria that was pretty good.

        • CripesAmighty

          No, you’ve got he right one. And yeah, they are pretty good.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            J&S may be the one I was thinking of.

          • CripesAmighty

            That ones good too. I believe there are only 2 locations.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Four! Including
            Asheville,which I just found out.

          • CripesAmighty

            Cool.

    • Michael R
    • Shanzgood

      Save the liver!

  • Serai 1

    In case you haven’t heard, Senate Republicans are pushing to deliberately drive North Carolina’s red wolf to extinction.

    Because who will feed the billionaire’s if our tax dollars go to save some stupid ANIMAL??

    • CripesAmighty

      Soylent Green.

    • The Librarian

      The wolves don’t vote so they don’t care.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        plus, it’ll piss off liberals

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I was reading an article by Jonathan Chait yesterday, it was all about how a lot of Republican legislation is now specifically designed to piss off liberals (tax raises on blue states AND tax raises on education). Yes, that seems like a dastardly plan that will work – let’s get rid of all the smart, and high taxed people!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      saw that from my defenders feed- truly sick

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Not to mention, all those wildlife reserves get in the way of expanding bigly properties that smelly poors can’t afford to live in. Won’t someone please think of the gated communities?

    • TJ Barke

      No words, just rage.

      • Serai 1

        They’re set on destroying our beautiful planet. They simply do not care.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Happy T-giving to all you thanksworthy Wonkettes. I will be having a wineless dinner with wife, her son, and her father in the old man’s hospital room. It’s all good, we need to be there with him, it’s about the company, not the setting, I have no complaints. Well, maybe about the winelessness.

    • OutOfOrbit

      there are ways to get around that

    • Lance Thrustwell

      No wining allowed?

    • Crank Tango
    • The Librarian

      Many years ago one of my sibs needed back surgery and was in the hospital over Christmas. My mom packed a picnic dinner on the 25th and we celebrated bedside. The important thing was we were all together.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Isn’t that what flasks are for?

    • marxalot

      Thanksgiving and Christmas in rehab/the hospital are no fun, and fast become a tradition back home. I’ll be getting some screen time with my people in a few hours, and having a wireless Thanksgiving.

  • The Librarian

    I’m not sick of winning because I don’t see that we’ve won anything yet. I am, however sick at heart over the injustices perpetuated on our populace by the sham government. I won’t drink to their health, but I will drink to the health of my family, friends and this here collective, that we may all live as best we can so we can vote the imposters out in 2018.

  • Gosala

    I went rummaging through the family papers looking for something I didn’t find, but I did find a pass to the Johnson/Humphrey inauguration in 1965. Ah, memories.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Save it. The GOP is working overtime at trying to gut the 1965 Immigration Act.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • tehbaddr

      YOU MONSTER!!11!11!!!11111!!!!!

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Hey, lonely old people living in an SRO hotel with a hot plate in their room need Thanksgiving dinner too.

        (Reposted from the other day, but I just couldn’t resist the chance to be Mr. Funsucker one more time.)

        • tehbaddr

          Have you been looking in my window?

      • Phried Ω

        Made with real Soylent Green!

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Ok, lemme try sorting these layers again, top to bottom:

      1. Mashed potatoes
      2. Hashish
      3. Stuffing with psylocybin
      4. Gravy
      5 Peruvian marching powder
      6. Black tar heroin
      7. Obama
      8. Yams
      9. Turkey bits

      • tehbaddr

        5. weed
        6. Opium poppy buds
        7. dark stuff at the bottom!

  • Duke

    Goofy looking dogs on the TeeVee.

    • CripesAmighty

      Timmy the Springer is thoroughly enjoying himself.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Why isn’t his name Jerry?

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T i was gonna try to come up with something witty but all i got is i paid my property taxes. i always do it in person. years ago i used to mail my bills off, then the post office failed too often. and wtf is with govt charging me extra if i want to pay online or with my debit card (hey assholes the debit card and my checks come from the same fucking account)..so i do this hassle in person.

    however i remembered to do it before the rush ( as if) to pay it.

    side-side’er tangent….my boy cat…let’s call him Wolfy ( cuz he kinda looks like one in the face…well…more like a bat but not really…ok ok im digressing) to protect his identity ( he didn’t sign off on this)….anyway Wolfy LOVES LOVES furry blankets or throws.

    we have like one or three….and whenever we break ’em out…he is like “OOOOOOOH NOOOOO YOU DIDN’T!!!!”

    and next thing we know…he kneading himself a spot on it…does a bit of grooming ( which he doesn’t do often, ha ha)…and it’s lights out…sleepy kitty in 10 minutes.

    • efoveks

      Awwww!

      Gotta ask: is he in witness purrrtection?

      • Blackest Noobs

        well more like on the lam….he has killed before….he will kill again.

        though side note how someone so cute as Wolfy has murderous intent in his little kitty heart….kinda makes you re-think about fucking with MyLittlePony Ponys…ya know.
        cuz who knows….them fillys could wanna stomp your ballsacks.

  • Jennifer R

    You forgot about the guy who died because his go fund me for his insulin was 50 bucks short.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Or the idiot in my state who was pissed at OBAMA, because after he paid the fine, rather than face the tyranny of forced affordable health care, he got cancer. Thanks, Obama!

      • OutOfOrbit

        sounds like good karma to me

        • PubOption

          For once, the dogma ran over the karma.

      • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

        So, another benefit from the ACA, it helps to improve the gene pool!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          That may be a feature, not a bug.

  • btwbfdimho
  • The Wanderer

    Oy, such a lunch. Even just sampling a bite here and there, I are stufft. One lady brought in a bread pudding that was catastrophically good – it had pineapple and raisins in it, and I am willing to swear that it was glazed in honey.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    All self respecting animals hate you, Donnie. https://twitter.com/Politics_PR/status/933757248907640832

    • puredog

      “Wattle.” But yeah, upfisted anyway.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I love the upholstery Melania is draped in. Or is it drapery?

      • Phried Ω

        Save the sofas.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          especially grandma’s

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Having a Scarlett O’Hara moment was she?

        • CripesAmighty

          Just a little something she saw in the window.
          (h/t: Carol Burnett)

    • Bammelam

      I’m always saddened when I see his youngest son. Poor thing

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Obama or Trudeau should adopt him once his whole family is in prison.

  • puredog

    Just read in WaPo where a woman has been charged with mailing explosives in 2016 to both Obama and Texas Gov. Greg Abbott. My, she certainly is an equal-opportunity hater.

    • Phried Ω

      Reminiscent of the anthrax mailer. Tom Daschle and the National Enquirer.

  • Happy Happy thanks and stuff!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJRvYg_JZmI

    • Tofer King

      Sorry to intrude into your Wonkette space, but have a great day, realitybasedbob.

  • tehbaddr

    I interrupt this Holiday about friends and family to remind everyone that we must be vigilant in opposition. But take a day off, we all deserve and need it!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/236e9d4edecb56e8dd6e15761345311d58e2608fcb224d94aac29fbd0d8933d6.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Ah, the all-too-common Large-Mouthed, Small-Brained Ass!

  • shastakoala

    Happy Thanksgiving you wonderful people. I’m fighting the battle of my life right now and when I’m scared or alone I pop in here and am surrounded by wit, laughter and honest concern. Cheers to all of you! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/355b85555129dc8c6993b0430251b4ace0a1297f8a92b5300a6c97053e6be0d1.jpg

    • Serai 1
      • shastakoala

        Aww, now I want a monkey.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Two. You need two monkeys.

          • shastakoala

            Even better!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Don’t get the whole barrel. Trust me on this- they’re not nearly the good idea they’re made out to be. The poor things get so scared being crammed into that container in the dark that they go berserk and start gnawing off each other’s limbs in a panicked frenzy. The ones that survive end up psychotic and have to be put down before they take out the neighborhood children.The truth is- MOST things are more fun than a barrel of monkeys…

          • shastakoala

            Thanks Zippy. As always your thoughtful insight is mind boggling. :)

    • altleftjohn

      Blessings.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      You shouldn’t fight battles alone. Can we help?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Drinkin egg nog & vernors, readin a John Waters book, dog show on in the background, stuffin cookin on the stove. Life is good.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

  • Johnnymoreno

    I’m going to eat lunch naked today. For William.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I had an Anna moment. I went out for a walk around the lake and upon leaving my apartment a man looked at me exclaimed “holy shit, your doing it right man”! — I don’t think his girlfriend was impressed.

    I went to the lake. The old ladies smiled as I walked by and some of the younger ones said, “hi”, but this was not the highlight. The highlight was the pleasant weather, the trading of jokes with old men passing not the trail, and the families taking selfies by the frozen lake.

    So I was basically wearing a mens version of this. (See below). With a plaid flat cap, burnt orange scarf, rusty tweed jacket, brown corduroy breeks, brown wool socks, mahogany shoes.

    http://classiq.me/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/ralph-lauren-london-tweed-run2-e1322462719646.jpg

    • tehbaddr

      Say where is Anna?

      • shastakoala

        At Target?

      • Phried Ω

        I was wondering that last night. It’s been several days I think.

        • puredog

          Back during, I think it was, the first Franken thread, some trolls got all up in her shit and she skedaddled, shutting down her account behind her.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Lord Jim has been checking up on her. If he comes back here later, he’s been the messenger sending well-wishes her way.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Those tanks don’t paint themselves!

        • tehbaddr

          So, sniffing model paint?

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Sniffing models while painting?

          • tehbaddr

            Mmmmm!

    • Crank Tango

      Out for a spin on your pennyfarthing?

      • tehbaddr

        Stone cold rocking it w/ that get-up!

    • The Wanderer

      Classy!

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      All you need is a Spaniel and a fowling piece. Tres chic!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Great article, Dok, thanks.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    COFFECOFFEECOFFEE….

    I may have had a wee bit too much coffee.

  • Resistor Radio

    Aw, Der Kommissar on the radio right now. :)

    • tehbaddr

      Funny, my radio stream has The Ramones at the moment.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Nope

      • Resistor Radio

        Lolololol – before that it was “A Fifth of Beethoven,” I’m lame enough to admit I booed along!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Falco or After the Fire?

      • Resistor Radio

        It was After the Fire.

  • marxalot

    Watching old musicals (Amazon Prime has “The Royal Wedding”!) until Arlo Guthrie time, Skype call with the fam later. Fried chicken, mac and cheese, blueberry/cranberry muffins, and cranberry relish for brunch. Pumpkin custard later on, probably with a book and lots of fresh whipped cream.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    “Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion
    Grease is the way we are feeling” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3c755a82d044ecb4448f263c5476e32cfa5306f93fe07ec7a9fd62633f9fb349.jpg

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    this has probably already been discussed, but it’s new to me.

    DICKHEAD!
    You assbagging, thin skinned, kreuger dunning, shallow, egotistical dumb fucking asshole cunt of a FUCKING DICKHEAD!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2870edb5881ff6d82a0917d702ba25d882340d065998e8763bde95ec8e8296fe.png

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      and furthermore: INSANE DANGEROUS WANTS TO GET US ALL KILLED DICKHEAD!

      CNN)Tens of thousands of names were removed from the national criminal background check database this year after the FBI narrowed its interpretation of who is a “fugitive from justice,” according to an administration official.

      Under the narrowed definition, in place since February, gun purchases can only be denied to fugitives who have crossed state lines to avoid prosecution for a crime or to avoid giving testimony in a criminal proceeding. The change makes it possible for someone with an outstanding warrant who would have previously been prohibited from buying a firearm to obtain one, unless barred for some other reason.

      According to the administration official, the decision to change the definition took place late last year under the Obama administration, after a review by the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel, but it was officially implemented under the Trump administration in February.
      (I don’t believe that last bit one fucking…bit)

      • Phried Ω

        I don’t believe the entire last paragraph. That would not be under the purview of that office.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i should look up caselaw on that…I’m curious now.

          • Phried Ω

            It’s an entire department of attorneys. My bet is that the GC deals mostly with employees’ outside business dealings and international agreements.

  • TJ Barke

    Bout to pass that dumbass wingnut sign in Chehalis.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I used to drive from Salem to Seattle twice a week. Some off ramps are more clandestine than others. God, are those golden statues still up there on the pillars?

      • TJ Barke

        Depends which ones you mean. But yeah, I believe so.

      • Phried Ω

        I couldn’t get from MA to WA in a week much less twice.

        • TJ Barke

          Just gotta make sure you’re driving WITH the wind.

      • shivaskeeper

        Yes. Yes they are.

    • shivaskeeper

      That one is some sort of combination of Libertarian and Teatard rolled into one.

  • ken_kukec

    “We had An American Dream, and we — or at least a slim plurality of those of us who voted in just the right number of states in 2016 — picked the guy who promised to vulgarize and falsify that dream until the bare lies shone through.”

    Dang, Dok, that’s as pithy a synopsis of Election 2016 as I’ve heard anywhere.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The awful part is that the promise was explicit and everyone knew it.

      • bbayliss

        America’s Intervention. Ya gotta bottom out.

  • Bammelam

    Turkeys of All Colors, Unite !!!

  • wait! what?

    Preparing for a righteous Republican family gathering. I just want to start it out this way…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f9bf47f451a7a231fbbb9deb6a21a4f58ac68578a0232f92b5c80b66c4fca01.gif

    • Phried Ω

      Like Melania, just retire to your happy place until it’s over.

      • wait! what?

        Her body double finances must by yooge.

    • Blackest Noobs

      quick get a burner smart phone. load their digits. text them all the link to the gif.
      winning.
      oh and remember to send it to your own phone too.

      • wait! what?

        Lol.

        Hmm.

        The local gas station sells burner phones…

  • Serai 1

    I posted this on my LJ years ago. Herewith, an updated version:

    What I’m Thankful For

    Artichokes

    Cumulus clouds

    French Canadian music

    Ravens

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/642202ce17bcbfea358c38f4d88c9c3cf2f3286a22bc649aeb60ac953cabc8f5.jpg

    Andouille pork sausage

    The Deathbird, by Harlan Ellison

    Emeril Lagasse and Jon Townsend

    Redwood forests

    The sound of the ocean

    Cinderella, Salome, Freddie, Bartolo, Junior, Rudy, River, Belinda, Titi, Nebula, Casey, and Frodo

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b7389d5a4c714fa13644849c041e1c5d0cb78c600fc20d1644698d408dba6e3d.jpg

    Sushi

    The ability to write

    JRR Tolkien

    Danish Cream Havarti

    Fog swirling through tree branches

    Every baggie of weed I’ve ever had

    The Four Noble Truths

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c4e9771f0cbcfeff0ae00bac464c875d4c9589d98ee9e80896d11eccf23cf8d4.gif

    D’Aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths

    William Shakespeare

    All-cotton underwear

    My breasts

    Middle-Eastern dance

    Green Peppers

    Kissing

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/392797414fc79a184d1bdebc8570f5b162fb858998b65b7a08ed3ce4938736a2.gif

    The ocean

    Religious discussions free of rancor

    Jicama

    Silk charmeuse

    My friend, Badger

    Rain

    Jai Uttal, Loreena McKennitt, Sheila Chandra, Ravi Shankar, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, Gabrielle Roth, Ruth Barrett & Cyntia Smith, Holly Tannen, Djivan Ghasparyan, Robert Gass, Paul Simon, Peter Gabriel, Howard Shore, Mercedes Sosa, Cesaria Evora, Sting, Imee Ooi

    The sun’s warmth, and the moon’s jeweled eyes

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6b49519cfec126c6a60f4aedc1d3cb98dfd16fc1d98b047db2b0804e3f408c84.gif

    Bandanas

    My nieces and nephews

    The lemon tree outside my window

    DVD’s

    Long heartfelt hugs

    The beauty of the earth and the grandeur of the stars

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d8da020073f14fc8f037043d229427281324957aa3fc4a85aca68de9bee14d39.jpg

    All my internet friends

    Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

    • wait! what?

      I’m totally into the Ravens.

      https://youtu.be/y9JCEv7p4EE

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Artichokes!!! YES!!!

      • Phried Ω

        Nearly every meal can be improved by substituting whatever vegetable with artichokes,

        • Angela Ruzzo

          The ancients believed artichokes were an aphrodisiac. I heartily concur.

        • proudgrampa

          There is no vegetable but artichokes.

    • Angela Ruzzo
      • Serai 1

        NOW YOU’RE MAKING ME CRY

        My one and only great wish is to be able to go back there to live. I long for those woods and that ocean so much, I can’t stand it some days.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I was there for one week in 2002. In the first 15 minutes I knew that I wanted to live there more than anything. The air is so clean that I felt 10 years younger almost immediately, and full of energy (I was 46, this was very noticeable). I tried and tried to get a job there, but no luck, and anyway I can’t afford the housing. But I dream…frequently.

          • proudgrampa

            I lived in that area in the 70s and 80s. Lots and lots of walks and little weekend camping trips with nothing but a sleeping bag, trail mix, and a canteen.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Lucky you. We went camping at Lake of the Ozarks every summer. 105 degrees and 99% humidity and peeing in a hole in the ground and mosquitoes and flies and spiders and snakes and waiting for my dad and brother to catch some fish so we could eat something other than bologna sandwiches. Luke warm Cokes. My dad thought this was heaven. My mother didn’t.

          • proudgrampa

            I grew up in the Kansas City area. We would go to the Ozarks on a regular basis, only because my dad’s boss had a cabin there. Dad and I liked to fish, but the rest of the family didn’t. The only thing different from your experience was that we didn’t pee in a hole in the ground…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My dad didn’t think it was really camping unless we foraged for berries and wild greens, shot or caught all our main dishes, slept on the ground rolled up in a blanket, and filtered water out of the river to drink. He wouldn’t camp at a settled campsite with real outhouses built by the park service and maybe a water pump, oh, no, we had to go deep into the wilderness and find a place where no one had ever camped before and dig our own latrine. We were lucky he let us take toilet paper. He would never have tolerated a cabin. My mother’s idea of camping was a Holiday Inn in the woods, so my memories of family camping trips are not my best ones. However, I did learn a lot. I can recognize a copperhead from 20 feet, I learned that collard greens can make you very sick if you don’t boil them long enough and remove every bit of the stems, and I discovered I don’t like chicory.

          • Serai 1

            I worked for the county welfare department, a really good job, and even then I was paying over HALF my take-home pay just for the rent. But the thing about Santa Cruz is that it has so many things to do that are either free or very inexpensive, that I never felt poor. (Plus, OMFG the FOOD!!! So many great restaurants, and most of them not very expensive at all!)

        • proudgrampa

          I feel your pain.

      • proudgrampa

        Holy Cowell!

        That brings back a lot of fine memories, walking in that forest.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          While I was there I kept thinking of the book “Green Mansions” and I wanted to build a tree house and live in the forest forever.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      French-Canadian music

      I actually love Céline Dion. She got a lot of flak stateside because the Titanic song was way overplayed on the radio, but that wasn’t her fault (and that was 20 years ago, people need to let it go already).

      She has a beautiful voice. Very sad that she lost her husband and her brother within weeks (days?) of each other. (Although it is a bit unsettling that René said he “fell in love” with Céline when she was a 13-year-old artist…)

      Then, there’s this guy. PBUH.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0nmHymgM7Y

    • proudgrampa

      Nice!

      I’m just thankful that we don’t have to go hunting for the damn turkey.

  • TJ Barke

    Southbound I5 north of Centralia is fucked.

    • Nounverb911

      According to Google maps it clears up around Airport Road south of Centralia.

      • TJ Barke

        Yeah, it looks clear now. Passing exit 95.

        • Nounverb911

          Safe travels.

        • shivaskeeper

          Dude. You passed my exit a few miles back. Thanks for the heads up. Ass.

          Also if you are going further north, the Tacoma Dome area is going to be fucked, because it always is.

          • TJ Barke

            I know. Also, we head inland to I5 in Reedsport, which was last night.

    • Phried Ω

      Stop at Kettleman City and relax at In and Out.

      • Phried Ω

        Oops. I read that as Coalinga.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    First, Happy Thaksgiving to all!

    Next… I’ve been a soldier a minute. I’ve never seen an officer take credit while speaking to joe for ‘winning.’ I guess if my CIC wants to… ok.

    • TJ Barke

      Donnie’s the POGest POG that ever POGed.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I got old and now attempt to POG. They wear the uniform. He didn’t.

      • Jennifer R

        I used to have some pogs.

        • Jacob DiCiaula

          Person other then grunt

        • PubOption

          I have some Pogues CD’s, does that count?

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            I have a vintage 1992 Macs for Dummies by David Pogue.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      how that man got a single active duty or vet to vote for him after teh things he said during the campaign, I’ll never know.

      anyone that votes for him after this mess – ye gods, there’s no hope for them.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Unfortunately, there’s a very definite military culture in a way WWII vets wouldn’t recognize. And that’s on us. We asked for a Pretorian Guard and we got it.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          yeah, but service, bravery, sacrifice, honor – Trump insults all these (oft idealized) cornerstones of military service.

          Admittedly, there’s going to be SOME percentage of nut bags – service connected or not – who agree with him…but, again, ye gods.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Look, I’m loathe to say this… but, if you haven’t been in a line infantry company, it’s very hard to explain the culture. I was both older and grossly over educated when I joined. I was almost more an observer. The 18 year old hooahs are not

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            true true – never been in.

            It’s just the kind of thing you HEAR a lot – so….yeah, I dunno.

            My bad.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            No, this isn’t starship troopers and service doesn’t guarantee citizenship. You should be critical of the military, because lord knows we earn it.

            I only retort because it’s hard to get into individual soldier’s heads. Particularly for the kids enlisting, it’s a life defining institution. I know it seems irrational to vote for someone who may tweet us into a war. But, it’s the culture they know, and it skews to Trump.

      • Phried Ω

        TVs are everywhere in DoD. Dining facilities, day rooms, pass office waiting rooms, orderly rooms, just about everywhere. Since 1995 I have never seen one not tuned to Fox News.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          aye, they’re always on Fox at the Military Hospital/VA Clinic my mom goes too.

          When dad was in ICU 10 years ago, I avoided the waiting room cause I was NOT having that shit.

        • Jacob DiCiaula

          I’m just a joe, so the shitty facilities I sat in didn’t have tvs. But, I saw platoon sgts schooling joe on fox news talking points.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    ICYMI:

    Federal judge strikes down Texas ban on standard abortion procedure; Paxton vows appeal

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I’m in the belly of the beast. We’ve counted the dead and toasted their lives….several times. Only two are in jail this year, my brother who shot his roommate (in the arm so, Texas, he was out until his trial, and now has to serve token time) and a cousin who is in for domestic violence. We discuss of she deserved it. I stayed silent. In fact, I’ve been silent most of the day. I worry about the influence her cousins are having on my daughter, though the last time I spoke to her, just before the young were dispatched with shotguns to the farm to shoot at stuff, she was mostly amused. The meal will start soon after the traditional argument over something stupid…oh, and the prayer. I hope I survive with sanity intact.

    • Impatient

      Wikipedia entry suggests some dissociations are normal/helpful. Maybe start speaking in noodley tongues? (Sympathies, if unhelpful.)

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Got me through many a holiday with my RWNJ relatives.

    • tehbaddr

      Wow. Power to you!

    • Marion in Savannah

      We’re all rooting for you, and lots of us have been around long enough to know that you’ll be just fine. Frustrated, annoyed, and irritated, but fine.

      Keep on keeping on!

    • CripesAmighty

      Do you have the code to call in air strike support?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Done the been gone with army and prison. Good luck! And message if you need suppressive fire

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
  • proudgrampa

    For the nation of finks:

    https://youtu.be/ZYi8jk6gPXk

  • puredog

    I always forget between bouts of making this dish how tediously long a job it is to render four good-sized heads of cauliflower into similarly-sized small florets.

    • tehbaddr

      Sometimes cooking is a labor of love.

    • Marion in Savannah

      God love cauliflower, it’s the sort of thing that if you break it down a day or two in advance and put put the bits in a heavy zipper bag in the fridge they’ll be fine. It’s what I do with cubed butternut squash and such like.

      • puredog

        It woulda been just as tedious two days ago. I have little to do, and most of it doesn’t get done for another three hours, so I’m not hurting for time. Just makin’ the ol’ mise.

        • Marion in Savannah

          [whew] I know what that kind of pressure can be like if you haven’t done the tedious stuff ahead. Glad you’ve got “grace time.” And enjoy the cauliflower — I’m a fan, but Mr. MinS not so much. (At least I finally found a recipe for Brussels sprouts that he LOVES, after 38 years of refusing to eat them.)

          • puredog

            This dish is roasted coffilower with lemon and capers, and is a real crowd pleaser, AND fits the diets of virtually everybody on the picky planet in these parlous times. I was going to post a link, but don’t remember where I got it, and there’s a zillion. Cauliflower. Olive oil. Salt. Pepper. Lemon zest. Lemon juice. (Garlic?) Capers. Parsley. It’s pretty danged easy, once you’ve got your florets.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Sounds yummy.

  • ken_kukec

    Your penultimate sentence would do Ms. Ivins proud, Dok.

    The whole essay is some damn fine writing, period.

  • Picabo
    • Marion in Savannah

      Nope. No. No thanks, we don’t want one. This is the first year in for, like, forever that Mr. MinS and I haven’t had to have at least one RWinger at the table. I do NOT want one sent to my house.

      (As as added lagniappe, our last RWinger guest recently died and made me his executor. After, of course, he had turned his whole entire life to shit.)

      • Paul

        Take a good fee. You earned it.

    • tehbaddr

      I really don’t think they are in short supply!

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        “Do not want” means there’s never a short supply.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Not just no, but HELL, no! My Friendsgiving folks and I do our best to forget all about the bullshit and play games.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      How about putting all the Trump-supporting relatives around a table at a remote “banquet hall” somewhere in no man’s land and then locking the door?

  • Nounverb911
  • Jennifer R

    On a lighter topic for the morning, they updated the backers on the current expected delivery date for the rest of the Dark Souls board game components. They just got white box samples of pretty much everything. Because ~reasons~ the stretch goals every backer gets will now ship in September of 2018, from originally April 2017 to October 2017 to ???. The remaining items that were available for optional purchase will ship in June of 2018, which is a push back from the monthly staggered release of them which was supposed to start in January for all non backers, or arrive with everything else in October 2017 for backers. They also ended up moving the already “limited edition” boss and the other two bosses that were going to retail at an admittedly jaw dropping 60 USD (28 GBP on the kickstarter or about 37 bucks give or take) to Kickstarter exclusivity which really just says the units are too costly to manufacture and have too little desirability at retail. Of course it looks like solvency issues from the outside.

    • wait! what?

      Are you going to make a Cards Against Humanity expansion pack for Dark Souls?

      • Jennifer R

        They company did just announce a card game using art and assets from the board game.

  • TJ Barke

    Seems appropriate to listen to Olympia WA. while driving through Olympia WA.

    • wait! what?

      The ghost of Heisenberg approves.

      • TJ Barke

        I mean Olympia WA. the song by Rancid, the punk band, based in Olympia.

        • puredog

          Next: a little Sleater-Kinney while you passenger by the Sleater-Kinney exit!

  • ken_kukec

    The Thanksgiving prayer by Old Bull Lee never gets old. Thanks for sharing it again.

  • DainBramage

    I think I outdid myself this year.
    Clockwise from top-left: Chocolate Mousse pie, Pumpkin-Cheesecake pie, Pumpkin pie and Blueberry pie.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/80067f3b47b7654361659c6c55fa36dad82b13d894acf72c572a0b06b9d89d01.jpg

    • Nounverb911

      What time’s dessert?

    • puredog

      I think you did. Good call to forego the lattice-work in favor of mass production!

      • DainBramage

        Lattice-work is too fiddly for me.

        • puredog

          I hear you bro. Or sis, as the case may be.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Pahgasm. All of them, Katie.

    • proudgrampa

      I’ll have some pah.

      • Shanzgood

        My little sister’s first sentence was at Thanksgiving dinner at grandma’s.

        “MO PAH!”

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Er . . . so how do I get them out of the picture? Or is this some kind of trick?

    • tehbaddr

      Pie Meister!

    • Crank Tango
      • H0mer0

        she looks kinda like a grown up Wynona Ryder in that even though they are probably around the same age.

        • puredog

          Good call. 47 vs. 46.

    • Vienna Woods
  • Anne Of Green Bagels
  • Nounverb911
    • Marion in Savannah

      It’s interesting that the table they’re presiding over, when I was 8 years old and remember such tables, is so much “sparer” than the ghastly gluttonous to-do that we’re now expected to produce. Of course, WAAAAY back then food was actually still [gasp] seasonal and you couldn’t get fresh peas and such.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I remember that. We couldn’t get lettuce in the winter, so my mother would buy a head of cabbage, shred it, mix it with her own special oil and vinegar dressing, and we ate that as a salad. It was very tasty. If you wanted peas or green beans in the winter, you had to buy the canned versions, which were terrible, but we ate them anyway. I also remember eating canned creamed corn in the winter. I wish I could forget it.

        • Phried Ω

          Lima beans…gaaaag.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            God yes. A friend of mine whose family was very poor and whose mother couldn’t cook a meal worth eating to save her life, would serve orange jello with canned lima beans in it, and call it a vegetable. Excuse me while I go and heave now that I have remembered that.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Canned? INEDIBLE. When I was a kid they used to turn up from time to time and I learned to swallow them whole. I’ve learned to love the fresh or frozen ones.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I remember the first time I ever ate fresh peas. I was astonished! They were so good, so NOT ANYTHING like the canned versions. I ate some uncooked, right out of the pods, and they were INCREDIBLY, ASTONISHINGLY DELICIOUS! I could eat some right now, but they don’t sell fresh peas where I live.

          • Marion in Savannah

            IK,R?!! Fresh peas from the market aren’t really fresh. And I don’t have a large enough back yard to grow my own. But there is NOTHING IN THE WORLD like just-picked peas, eaten raw right out of the pods in the garden. Frozen peas, thawed but never exposed to hot water, come close.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            These peas were home grown in our garden in the back yard. Pick them, pod them and eat them in under an hour. My father only grew them for 2 years, because the blackbirds would get most of them, and he got frustrated and switched to hot peppers. Plus corn, tomatoes, sweet peppers, cucumbers, squash, lettuce (4 kinds), radishes and concord grapes.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Sounds like heaven — I’d love to have enough ground to grow something other than tomatoes. And my herbs. I do herbs.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Oh, yeah, I forgot the mint. My mother put dried mint in all her Italian dishes. You plant 1 or 2 sprigs this year, and next year you will have 1000 sprigs. Try and kill it off…I dare you.

            Our tiny little house sat on a half acre lot, and my parents bought the empty half acre lot next door for an extra $1000 in 1954. You can fit a pretty big garden in half an acre. It’s a parking lot now for an apartment building. What a waste.

          • Marion in Savannah

            It’s time for me to get the chicken into the oven — It’s been just a delight going down memory lane with you! I hope the rest of your day is everything you wished for and more.

          • puredog

            If you can only grow one thing, and that thing is tomatoes, there are worse fates.

        • Marion in Savannah

          My mother would take that canned creamed corn, add some flour, probably some baking soda or powder, and other magical ingredients that THE BITCH NEVER WROTE DOWN ANYWHERE (sorry, Mom) and would turn it into delicious little corn fritters fried in bacon fat and served with maple syrup.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Jeeze, that sounds delicious. What my mother could do with leftover mashed potatoes was a miracle, and she didn’t write it down either. I was so stupid…I thought she’d be around forever and I’d have time…THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH TIME!!!

          • Marion in Savannah

            My mom used to just pat leftover mashed potatoes into little cakes and slowly fry them in bacon fat. (We always had lots of bacon fat.) They develop a gorgeous lacy brown crust, and when it happens on the first side flip them over and let it happen on the second side.

            The other thing was to mix them with cooked cod fish and some other magical stuff, form into balls, deep fry, and serve with a sauce that as I remember it was a pickley tartar sauce. I hate fish, and I would wolf those down.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Some Germans mix the potatoes with rice flour, which my Italian mother learned from her Scots-Irish/German mother-in-law, and then she would add buttermilk, plus whatever she had to hand, like mushrooms. Totally yummy.

          • puredog

            Did you keep the bacon fat in that sort of Deco brushed-metal canister thingie? I can still see that.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Nothing fancy like that — a coffee can.

        • Indeniable Ron

          I LIKE canned cream corn. But the good stuff, that isn’t 75% ‘cream.’

  • TJ Barke

    Can confirm: I5 through Tacoma is fucking shit.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      You don’t wanna drive on the surface streets, either.

    • Nounverb911

      When isn’t it?

      • puredog

        Permanently. And when the traffic’s bad — think rush hour — it is particularly unspeakable. It’s like some sort of mythological Greek gauntlet you have to run to get to Seattle.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Easterner here — is it anything like the Long Island Expressway, otherwise referred to as “The World’s Longest Parking Lot?”

      • TJ Barke

        I’d reckon so.

        • Nounverb911

          I-5 though Seattle looks like death warmed over….
          (Having grown up on Long Island, the LIE is much worse)

          • puredog

            The road surface in Tacoma on I-5 is epically bad, and the whole fucking stretch has been under major construction for — I kid you not — perhaps fifteen years.

    • proudgrampa

      Were there any cattle on the road?

      https://youtu.be/BJf7wh2sMe4

    • Indeniable Ron

      Actual Fun Fact: the busiest highway in the WORLD is Hwy 401 through Toronto. Half a million cars a day, spread out over 12-16 lanes, and half the time it refuses to move at all. I have been known to make two-hour detours just so that I’m not sitting in traffic, breathing exhaust, for an hour.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Tomorrow, people will be lavishing money on me to drive them around (Lyft). Hurrah!

    • Marion in Savannah

      When our Prius was in the shop Mr. MinS had to use Lyft a few times, and he was delighted. Hope there’s much lavishing for you tomorrow.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Thanks! I haven’t driven all week cuz too much to do, but I plan on doing well tomorrow, Sat and maybe Sunday.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I hope Lyft isn’t as unethical as Uber. Gah, that company is evil. They got their whole database hacked a year ago and only now told people about it.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Hope you have room in your car for all those flat-screen TVs they’ll be carrying.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Nounverb911

      Excellent!

    • puredog

      I would nuke that dinner from orbit. Just to be, you know, sure.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        No, microwaving would not be a good way to cook that…

        Oh, you mean *really* nuking it? Well then, carry on! (With votes.)

      • theCryptofishist

        Or at least cut florida off from the rest of the country…

    • Doug Langley

      I’m sure there’s nothing personal about it:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkPhlICfmow

      • Marion in Savannah

        Never. Gets. Old.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Eagle es mas macho que Trump.

    • ZangoCrudmonger
      • theCryptofishist

        It represents a phallus that hasn’t been boyzillianed.

    • theCryptofishist

      So Bannon’s gonna get real drunk and take a punch at the turtle, isn’t he?

  • Nounverb911
    • OrG

      Should be thankful he’s not in jail. Yet.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      didn’t Hucka Sanders demand that reporters say what they were thankful for on Tuesday or Wed before answering questions?

      I’d call these people nuts – but that’s an insult to people with actual psychiatric problems.

      These people are just…assholes (although assholes are more productive…these people are appendices? Vestigial and useless?)

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I’d call these people nuts – but that’s an insult to people with actual psychiatric problems.

        Thank you. I get really tired of the “Trump’s mental health” beat because, even though he clearly is a dangerous, narcissistic psychopath, I really don’t want any more stigma of being associated with horrible people like him and mass shooters/serial killers.

        I’m ashamed enough of having what is basically thought of as “Manson’s disease,” aka “Harris-Klebold syndrome with comorbid Smith-Wesson effect,” as it is. I don’t need to be further diagnosed with “chronic Trumputinism by proxy” as a consequence of media coverage and the court of public opinion.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          aye, indeed.

          My diagnoses are a little more ubiquitous – but don’t get me fucking started on the tv show, “Monk.”

        • Phried Ω

          The better explanation for the incomprehensibly bad actions of some people is not mental health but just plain old evil.

          • puredog

            I believe that Dubya reductively called such people “evildoers,” though he later modified that to “really weird shit” in some cases.

    • Doug Langley

      What nerve! Didn’t she know the correct question was “Mr President, want to hear what I’m grateful to you for?”

      • theCryptofishist

        I thought you had to be cabinet level in order to have that rise above the level of too trivial for the great man’s attention.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      We noticed already, Matty dear.

    • Nounverb911

      Jinx!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      wow – when you’re getting insulted by BILLY Baldwin…just wow.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Yeah, isn’t he the D-list evangelical Baldwin?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          no that’s stephen – sort of. Stephen is the born-again, but Billy and Bobby(?) were the D-list ones.

          • theCryptofishist

            Can you produce a score card for those of us to whom the Baldwins are more or less theoretical?

        • SDGeoff3

          You mean…? Really?

      • proudgrampa

        Impressive, no?

      • Nounverb911

        Well, trump did hit on his wife….

    • tehbaddr

      Even Billy Baldwin hates Trump, the gods must be crazy!

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    There’s a story I tell in my book What Happened that I’ve been thinking about this week. A short while after last November’s election, I attended a dance recital for my granddaughter Charlotte. Now, Charlotte was only two at the time, and as you might expect, she and her friends hadn’t quite mastered their performances.

    As I watched Charlotte and her friends laugh and fall down and get up again, I thought about how glad I was to be there, watching my granddaughter have the time of her life on stage.

    In a hard year, it can seem impossible to take the time to be grateful. But even as we’re doubling down in the fight to defend our shared values, there is so much to be thankful for. Time with our loved ones. The victories we’ve seen recently. A resistance that is refusing to be silenced by hateful, divisive rhetoric.

    And _____, I’m grateful for you.

    This warm, smart, big-hearted team has given me so much — from your support during my last campaign to your kind notes, hugs, and well-wishes. Now I’m asking you for one more thing: not to give up.

    If you’re with me, add your name right now.

    May your holiday be warm and full of love,

    Hillary

    https://www.onwardtogether.org/

    • Doug Langley

      Now that’s how a President speaks.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        This is what I mean when I say Dotard doesn’t understand the office he holds, and isn’t equipped emotionally and intellectually to deal with it.

        • puredog

          Was somebody here arguing with that assessment?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Nope. I just noticed this particularly egregious example.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Nounverb911

      MUELLER!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      trick question – Robert Mueller is my friend…if he comes through, he’ll become family.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Mueller.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Not A. B doesn’t exist. So… Bob Mueller it is.

      • Covfefe

        B does exist. You have all Wonketeers.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Digital friends. Well, such is the modern age. I’ll take it :)

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Courser_Resistance

      Sweet! Happy Thanksgiving Asshole!

    • Nounverb911
    • jesterpunk

      I like how many people are responding with “but free speech” or “but his first amendment rights”. Its not the US banning him so first amendment doesnt apply and if your only defense is its literally not illegal you might need to rethink your life.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Not to mention, the same people (Nazis) are happy about banning everybody from entire countries.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        The US really needs to rethink the First Amendment. It just got used as an excuse to vote against a UN resolution condemning Nazism.

        The only other countries that voted against it were Ukraine (ahem) and… Palau. Where the fuck is Palau (besides an island in the very big ocean) and why are they against Nazis?

        • jesterpunk

          Of course the Trump administration wont ban Nazis that is a good portion of their remaining base.

    • puredog

      That means he has to stay here though, right? I was looking forward to his company bouncing a few checks off Lufthansa.

    • Indeniable Ron

      ‘We’ve had enough Nazis, thanks.’

  • ZangoCrudmonger
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      musturd is still the REAL genius of that…cedar cheese and caekes just get all the attention.

      (Also, every time one reads it, one finds something new – cerail for you and the kids? )

      • Phried Ω

        hamberger

        • Shanzgood

          Hamberger MEAT. As opposed to the other types of hamberger substances.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i think it’s actually MEET in there a few times.

            there’s also biscuts and spegiti.

            (dear non-existant lord, please let us be making fun of someone stupid and not someone with dyslexia or some other impairment)

          • Shanzgood

            Spelling, like math (or art or music), isn’t everyone’s forte. I don’t consider it a sign of a lack of intelligence to be bad at any of those things. Just don’t sing at me if you’re tone deaf.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            alternatively – it’s someone who never cared enough or took the time or interest to spell things correctly.

            I make typos all the time here and occasionally misspell things – but I really like making fun of that list and don’t want to feel bad about it.

            #Denial’sActuallyQuiteNice

            ; p

          • Phried Ω

            I can’t read my own shopping lists so there is that.

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            It is actually a frighteningly coherent list.

          • SDGeoff3

            Ima laffin out loud big

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            at me or the letter writer?

            Know what, it doesn’t matter – we’re both ridiculous.

          • SDGeoff3

            You!

          • theCryptofishist

            I like “3-Ketchups.” I see it as a prescient homage to Donnie 2-Scoops and his dried out steaks. (or meet.)

          • Elvis Causticfellow

            I’m a little surprised they didn’t stipulate ground hamberger meat.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ground chuck always makes me a wee bit suspicious.

            Like I KNOW what they mean, but ya know, they COULD mean they ground up a dude named Charles.
            #JusSayin

      • DerrickWildcat

        Stuf to make speggtti
        Spegiti + meatballs

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          also too – bannas and tamotoes (at least tamotoes is consistent throughout).

      • tehbaddr

        biscuts!

      • proudgrampa

        White kasuls!

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        “3 instat patatoes” WTF?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i had a roommate who used to get stoned and eat those most nights (with fucking ketchup – seriously Wisconsin, what does the cold do to your young?)

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Winnies + hot dog buns.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Godamn, just saw the whale pickles.

    • Phried Ω

      What about those cakes we like?

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        We really like them, but it’s a secret as to what fucking cake it is. Might as well be pie for all we know from this missive. I’m now peeling a 5lb bag of taters. I should watch something hobbity.

    • proudgrampa

      Not just coolaid, but surgar too!

    • Indeniable Ron

      It’s like meeting up with an old, old friend!

  • Doug Langley

    Okay. Got back from the gym. Good workout. Now for quickie cleanup and off to restaurant for turkey dinner.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      whoops – was that pre-inaugration or post? (i’m guessing the former).

      • Suse

        Yes, pre-.

        • Phried Ω

          The dates are important if any were during his stint on the campaign.

        • puredog

          But HOW pre-? (I suppose I could read the link, duh.)
          ETA: Unclear.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        yes

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
    • Indeniable Ron

      You know there’s something wrong when the guy’s frequent flier miles are all on Aeroflot.

  • WilbyToad

    I am of the HuffPo diaspora that marched out in 2011, middle finger raised high. For six years I’ve been wandering every corridor of the interwebs looking for a community that felt like home. Wonkette totally wins. What took me so long… I don’t know, but if you surfed by the home page today you’d think it was a food club for anarchists. Still, even that’s a mighty big clue.

    I’ve been here only a week, but thank you for being wise, witty, and wonderful. This means you’ll have to put up with my music though.

    • Shanzgood

      Welcome!

    • proudgrampa

      We like music…

      • Suse

        And canned clams!

        • Gosala

          YOU MONSTER!!

        • WilbyToad

          The issue is the canned clams like my music also.

          • theCryptofishist

            But do the clams like those cakes we like?

          • Marion in Savannah

            That question is like a Mobius strip or an Escher drawing — it SEEMS right, but it’s just wrong.

          • theCryptofishist
          • SDGeoff3

            They did before they got canned.

          • theCryptofishist

            So they were fired for eating those cakes we like?

          • Phried Ω

            I hope he has a blue tarp. It gets cold here sometimes.

          • Old town Urbandale

            Vegan baby butthole yodeling?

        • SDGeoff3

          Oh dear.

        • proudgrampa

          You monster, you!1!

          Happy Thanksgiving, Suse!

        • Werewolf

          Say, know who else liked canned clams?

          • SDGeoff3

            Roger Ailes?

    • tehbaddr

      One of Us!

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      That’s around when I left. Running James O’Keefe and Newsmax was the last straw for me, do you remember yours?

      • Mary Theresa

        I left Huffington because when they made you get a faceplace account to comment.

      • WilbyToad

        When they promised that existing accounts would be “grandfathered” in. Too obvious a lie.

    • Suttree
    • Marion in Savannah

      Hi, and Happy Thanksgiving! We’d be more than delighted to put up with you, if you’re willing to tolerate us. I’ve found an extremely happy home here since Firedoglake went all fucking weird on me.

      ON EDIT — since it’s Thanksgiving, here are a few of those cakes we like.

    • Gosala

      You like us! You really like us!

      * sniffle *

    • Suse

      Glad you found us. I’ve been here a few years now and I thank Dog every day for this place to vent, laugh, snark, dance, learn, cry, poke stupid trolls, see the inherent goodness in people, and look at precious animal photos and videos, plus so much more. Wonkette and my fellow Wonkers have saved my sanity on many occasions.

      • Rhonda

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        fi222d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleNetJobsConsultWorkFromHome/more/cash ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fi222lhhhhh

        • Sakonyachen

          Yes! Suse and Wliby Toad found Wonkette driving Land Rover Range Rovers(BTW, our previous GoogleNetJobs bots got them for $9752, so you’re getting hosed!). And I’m sure the reason they feel better is because they make $97 an hour while they totally aren’t doing web cam porn. Also too “Carolyn” you need a new push up bra, your cleavage hasn’t made it to your neck yet.

      • Jenifer

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        fo283d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineStarEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fo283lh

      • Veronica

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        fp223d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineWatchEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fp223lhhhh

    • BloviateMe
    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • SDGeoff3

      Fantastic! We love music. Nice to have you, and Happy Thnksgiving.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Bienvenue. Huffpo calling? I was there too.

    • puredog

      Anarchy and baking don’t mix well.

      • Says who? Ain’t there an ararchistic cook book that was quite famous for a time?
        Never read it but assuming the pies turned out well

        • puredog

          Well, yeah, but they were all blown to high heaven. Metesky pie, yum.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        They do, and on occasion oh so well, but not very repeatably…

    • OrdinaryJoe

      “And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants,]‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” And they began to celebrate.” Welcome home to the prodigal Toad.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I came here in 2011. And it’s n even wonderful through the past awful decade

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      “You are mad and educated
      Primitive and wild
      Welcome to the occupation

      Here we stand and here we fight
      All your fallen heroes
      Held and dyed and skinned alive
      Listen to the Congress fire
      Offering the educated
      Primitive and loyal
      Welcome to the occupation”

      There’s lyrics for every occasion! Welcome to the loving mad mess we maintain.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      This is as comfortable as I’ve been since before Salon threw up the paywall at Table Talk.

    • calliecallie

      There’s going to be a lot of inside jokes you’ll have to get used to. (Whatever the question, the answer is never actually Hitler. Actually, we don’t do that one as much as we used to, because Trump.)

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      New guy has to bring the canned clams to the monthly meeting. Hope someone told you.

  • Suttree

    That was a really nice nap.BTW totally got out of dinner at someones house.

    • CripesAmighty

      Ding, ding, ding! We have a winnah!

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      They didn’t send their best people.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        they really were violent rapists trying to take over the continent.

        Ironic, innit?

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          It’s always projection. Happy Thanksgiving!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            the local tribe here is having sort of an open house type thing today – sadly, I expect about 6 non-tribe members will show.

      • Serai 1

        The Puritans actually got thrown OUT of Europe. Nobody could stand their bitter, pinched, finger-wagging bullshit any more.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Thanks, Europe!

          • Serai 1

            Can’t blame them, really. I’m amazed they were tolerated as long as they were.

    • Indeniable Ron

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTJESrOfiBY (Don’t blame me for the video being turned 90°, it’s hard enough to find this video as it is.)

  • lucidamente

    I’m thankful for Wonkette, its Editrix, its writers, and its commenters. And, oh yeah, its dick jokes. Especially its dick jokes.

    • jesterpunk
      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        even on thanksgiving – we really should be talking about the pentagon’s $700B budget, wonkette is terrible for focusing on dick jokes to the exclusion of everything else, blah blah blah.
        -That Douchebag From the SkyPenis thread (who is STILL trying to trade insults with me).

        • jesterpunk

          He is still going? Damn that is one dedicated moron.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ay up – he keeps trying to tell me how he’ll totally have a civil conversation if I really wanted to and how much of a hypocritical, foul-mouthed, thin-skinned cretin I am cause I told him how much of a dick he was.

          • Phried Ω

            I’m thankful he’s landed on you and not me but I do feel bad for you.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, don’t. he keeps replying, so I keep replying.
            It’s a personality flaw, I admit – but now I’m curious how long he’ll go. I already basically “bye felicia”-d him twice.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            When that happens to me, I end the dialogue by writing “It is impossible to have an intelligent conversation with an ignorant dickhead. Bye.” Sometimes this works.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            it’s the smug condescension in his posts that keeps me coming back. Holier, leftier and smarter than me he is!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            What bugs me is that everything critical they say about liberals is actually only true about conservatives. Also, they throw stones at liberals for criticizing Trump, yet they said and did much worse things to Obama, but they won’t ever admit it. In other words, they are raging hypocrites. I just can’t stand raging hypocrites.

          • Need to remove the smug. Start ending your posts with emoticons.
            You know you are utterly wrong, come on you can admit it :D
            It must feel terrible to be that willfully ignorant :D
            Thus like

          • Indeniable Ron

            I hope you’re downvoting every one of his comments. That way he’s expending all sorts of energy for no good purpose at all.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            tell him to eat a dick

          • Dept. of Space Tacos
          • CripesAmighty
          • Angela Ruzzo

            Too much turkey???

          • eggs ackly-wright

            A very brief nap.

        • Resistor Radio

          Oh yeah, I got a little tired of the moralistic scolding on that one. Remember, we’re never allowed to laugh about anything, ever!

          • Indeniable Ron

            Ecclesiastes 7:4 ‘The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.’
            All in all, I prefer being a fool.

      • Resistor Radio

        I can’t give enough thanks for SkyPenis! (Also, my autocorrect has learned SkyPenis…yay!)

  • freakishlypersistent

    JFC, MST3K just made a reference to Shakeys, the 70’s pizza place. I went straight back to Fudruckers, Lums and Ferrell’s Ice Cream.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      gah! is the marathon on? TOTALLY FORGOT!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        You’re missing Night of the Blood Beast!

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          whew, caught it – only 5 hours late though.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          ooooo, i can rewind – okay i’m done for the day.

      • Resistor Radio

        Youtube was doing a live marathon.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          that’s what I got up…and you can go back if you missed it!

          • Resistor Radio

            Good to know! I’ll cue it up when I get home!

      • puredog

        It’s just there to make you feel particularly bad about the calorie abuse you are about to perform.

    • The Librarian

      I had my 10th birthday party at Ferrell’s. :D

      • Impatient

        Cousins took us to one, somewhere in LA burbs, years ago. Troughs of ice cream were great, but mostly we were amazed that our cousins would drive so far to get ice cream!

        • The Librarian

          There was one close to my house. :D

          • Impatient

            Lucky you! But then you didn’t get the benefit of your cousin showing the rise/curve where fools tended to launch themselves to their earthly demise. Can’t remember if he said it was the actual ‘Dead Man’s Curve.’ LA is just SO colorful!

          • The Librarian

            The real Dead Man’s Curve isn’t in the burbs, it’s in the city, on Sunset Blvd. However, that doesn’t negate the fact that we have many replicas around here as well, especially in the canyon routes. Buckle up!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      In the 70’s Baskin Robbins sold a German Chocolate Cake Ice Cream. To die for. We would walk there after school and buy 1 scoop. Good times.

    • Resistor Radio

      I remember shakeys!

    • puredog

      Farrell’s, and the Large Birthday Indignity of the Portland Zoo.

    • Serai 1

      When I was a kid in the 60’s, my parents used to take us to the Shakey’s in Westwood to eat pizza and watch Charlie Chaplin movies. They had a big screen in the eating area that showed those films.

  • Nounverb911
    • DerrickWildcat

      They are all on marijuana

      • jowgajen

        So, happy?

      • The Librarian

        Sounds good (inhale) to me (exhale).

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Danksgiving

      • puredog

        Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Are they plotting the coup? Please?

    • suziq

      #stillmypresident
      #sopresidential!

    • Because they are. Truly good and happy people.
      /sob

    • Serai 1

      Such a beautiful family. *weeps*

  • theCryptofishist

    Woke up with the St. Trinian’s theme song in my head…

  • Arolpin

    Status report:
    Turkey is cooking nicely, though the skin on near the right drumstick tore and exposed the breast. No worries, it’s a 30 lb bird, there will be enough skin for those who like skin, and I like a bit of crust on the breast anyway, so I’ll save the exposed bits for myself.
    The Turkey Breast is smoking well now, ran into a problem where it keep tripping the GFI, but I suspect those outlets are set for 10A rather than 15A, so I used a known good outlet and only lost 40 minutes of cooking before I figured it out. Starting to get a good smoky bark on the skin.
    Ham is being heated/glazed on the grill, I’ll start really laying the glaze on heavy for the last hour to get a thick bark.
    Two trays of stuffing (veggie is basically cornbread, pecans, onions, & celery, meat is basically deconstructed tamales) prepped and ready for the oven.
    Cheese balls are softened and ready for presentation
    Mrs. Arolpin is getting the mashed potatoes ready to go, then will work on the gravy (we cheat and buy the base from William-Sonoma).
    My brother has a pair of pumpkin pies that will be in the oven for another 10-15 minutes.
    The punch (cider, prosecco, vodka, fruit, served in a glass with a cinnamon-sugar rim) is chilling and tastes great.

    The first guest should start arriving in about 25 minutes (those who are always late were given an earlier start time, and they’re technically already late, but we built that into the system) at which point our ovens get really busy.

    We’ll have enough, anyone in NJ who wants a plate, let me know and then stop by!

    • theCryptofishist

      “… anyone wonkette in NJ who wants a plate, let me know and then stop by!”
      There, fixed it so Chris Christie wont stop by! And looking at all the work you’re doing, Williams fucking Sonoma should be honored to be providing your gravy base.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        striker f-ed up post

        • theCryptofishist

          Thanks, I hope it’s more lucid, now.

        • theCryptofishist

          Edited!

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Sounds delicious!

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      30 lbs? Wow. I ran with a 24 last year and the extra weight seemed to be mostly extra fat in the skin. It was a local organic bird, but I decided to go with a smaller one this year. Punch sounds yummy!

    • puredog

      As I continued with the cauliflower dish, add to the tediosity of floretting four heads of cauli the creation of two tablespoons of fresh thyme and chopping up >1/2 cup of parsley. But my mise is all mised now, and I can take a shower, exercise the livestock, and then do the meringue topping for the tart, all with time to spare. (I’m a mere guest, not a host, this year.)

  • Suse

    I must go make my creamed pearl onions and rosemary lemon peanuts to take to the feast in San Francisco. I hope traffic doesn’t suck. Have a great day!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Mmmmm. Sounds delicious. You can drop some of those off at my place should you make too much.

  • TJ Barke

    Finally out of Tacoma…

    • Borosilicate

      Yeesh. I’m on my way in!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      not sure why, but reminded of this:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZBf16B5vhs

    • BosGrl

      Next up Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA?

      • Master Contrail Program

        Northern California where the girls are warmer and I can hear my sweet baby say……..

    • WilbyToad

      Heard you guys were under the waterfall up there.

      • TJ Barke

        It’s the PNW in November…

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          It’s fairly warm outside, though.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      One hears Tacoma is lacking in glamour.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I lived there for a while. Parts of it are nice.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Also too, the Tacoma aroma…

        • suziq

          You are a bit behind the times. That aroma was from the Asarco (sp?) smelter that is long gone. It smells like a regular city now. Also it was the first “wired” city and I still have city internets so I don’t have to deal with Comcast. Canceled the cable TV (through the CITY) but that was way better too. When you call a real person answers the phone and is pleasant.
          That said, I live in NE Tacoma which is not in the city limits and we make a point of saying we aren’t really in Tacoma. Because it has a bad reputation for no good reason!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            It’s been 10-12 years since I’ve been there, when I had relatives living in Washington

          • suziq

            It’s all trendy now because nobody can afford Seattle. And the downtown is nice because they got rid of all the adult bookstores and University of Washington is buying all the buildings.

    • You were stuck in your truck?

  • schmannity

    Billy Baldwin responded to Trump, Jr.’s tweet about Franken saying:
    “Your Dad is a 5th degree black belt when it comes to sexual impropriety allegations,” Baldwin wrote. “In fact… I once had a party at the Plaza Hotel… your father showed up uninvited and hit on my wife… invited her on his helicopter to Atlantic City. She showed his fat ass the door.”

    Oopsy.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/billy-baldwin-burns-trump-jr-my-wife-showed-your-dads-ass-the-door-after-he-crashed-our-party-and-hit-on-her/

    • I thought Billy was the one who liked him?

      • LosFelizGuy

        Are you confusing Billy Bush and Stephen Baldwin?

        • Goodness only knows. They all look alike to me. When the Canadians bombed them I did shed a tear, however

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            The Canadians bombed Alec Baldwin’s idiot brother? I thought Canada punished us for letting Bush be president by sending us Nickelback. America sent them a bunch of Bush cronies and punished them with Harper, so they punished America by sending Bieber. Then, Obama came into office and they gave us some time to see if we let him live out his eight years without getting Martin Luther King’ed. We did, so they finally felt safe chucking Harper for a much better Justin.

            But then the 11/9 massacre happened where we got surreptitiously taken over by Russia, and the Canadians figured out that those other things weren’t really our fault. So they said sorry by dispatching the floppy-haired bohemian feminist prince born on December 25th who loves his mama and appointed a bunch of Magdalenes to his cabinet of apostles, as a missionary to preach a gospel about welcoming the stranger and being kind to women and resisting the dark side. He then returns home to his fortress of solitude, where he sends out modern-day iconography called “selfies” via the digital samizdat as an escape drug, because maple leafs aren’t legal here and our tyrant emperor looks like Herod the Hutt.

            Such is the tale of the little-known undeclared Second U.S.-Canadian War.

          • Indeniable Ron

            You guys need to stop fighting us. We always win. It HAS to be embarrassing.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Adam Baldwin (no relation) is the wingnut.

        • Vienna Woods

          And Stephen. Don’t forget him.
          Adam really pissed me off, but I guess Jayne was typecasting .

      • schmannity

        Apparently the exact opposite. I guess some fat turd hitting on your wife and trying to entice her into “travel” with him makes a very bad impression. I would wager that this was probably when Trump had an interest in the Plaza–a power move by a barrel of New York City sidewalk spit.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Going to my stepson’s family for Thanksgiving dinner. Will be contributing a bottle of wine, a store-bought mince pie, and a side dish of farro and roasted winter vegetables. But first gotta walk the dog. Then have a little catnap. Then resist the temptation to open the wine. Time management is critical!

    • SDGeoff3

      Mince pie. Mmmm

  • Suttree

    I guess that I will call my father and wish him a happy turkey day.

    • Thanks for the reminder, Suttree!

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Oh, good thought. The rest of the ext. fam. is at the ‘rents’ house, so I should call them all. If I time it right, I can interrupt dinner!

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Done. Lord – they have a house full.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “Last I checked, America was always great”

      Sure, just ask the Indians, or the descendants of black slaves, or Muslims, or Jews, or… yeah, pretty much anyone who isn’t white, male, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied, mentally sound, not of the Mammonist sect of consumer Christianity, and above all else, RICH.

      America is so great they refused to condemn Nazis because it might violate the freedom of speech for Nazis to, you know, be Nazis.

      America just grates on everyone. It’s the racist uncle at your dinner table who won’t leave.

      • Naw, America is the sometimes cool aunt who married the racist uncle. There is always hope she’ll wake herself up and dump his ass, but she has some personal issues and might need a bit of nudging. So long as there are more of us, anyway, and there are.
        Hopefully we can keep her from going full wingnut

      • johnnyknj

        This much bitterness is not good for you, young one.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    for whatever reason – mom and me ain’t big on doing holidays the “right way.” We both kind of prefer (or insist) on doing shit our way

    So i’m havin’ some Taquitos.

    happy taquito day everyone! (Thanksgiving should be changed to that, all of the savory deliciousness with none of the racist imperialism!).

    • suziq

      I am having home made tamales! Not made by me which is even better!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        mmmm – tamales. about that time of year to get the big order in.

        • SDGeoff3

          We have daily deliveries from neighbors this time of year, and we are spoiled rotten.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            mom used to buy them from some dude in a van.

            Sounds weird (and I wouldn’t have tried them if I knew) – but people from my hometown will tell, thems good eating.

          • SDGeoff3

            It’s the best way to get them. We also have vendors with little rolly carts and they go door to door.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            it just this second dawned on my what the SD in your ‘nym probably means.

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            South Dakota?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            san diego

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            My answer’s funnier. If only you knew what they think a taco is in Rapid City.

          • SDGeoff3

            Mmm hmm.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Clearly you live in a most civilised place.

          • SDGeoff3

            San Diego. We’re doing what we can in a largely republican county where the goddam fuckin democrats tend to stay home on election day.

          • epazote

            queso y rajas please

          • SDGeoff3

            De nada, I’m sure.

      • Resistor Radio

        Mmmmmmmm, I love homemade tamales. Not from my home, though.

      • SDGeoff3

        Ooooo.

    • BosGrl

      Happy Thanksgiving ST and Mama ST! <3

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks!

    • SDGeoff3

      Nice. Good for you. Happy Thanksgiving to both of you and Mama Taco.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      If I ever do get to live on my own, I think what I’m going to do is have Thanksgiving by myself at a restaurant in one of the Connecticut tribal casinos. Both Thanksgivings, in fact (“Oh, Canada, our home on native land”), which is held on US “Columbus Day”.

      It’s an imperfect way of giving back to the people this land was stolen from, but it’s something, I guess.

      • Indeniable Ron

        ‘… our home on native land’
        LOVE IT!
        But this might amuse you: where I lived before winding up in the flatlands, was a near-wilderness of rocks and trees and 1/2″-thick topsoil, dotted with countless lakes and ponds. A few meadows were used to grow hay, but nothing else would because the growing season was short and the soil useless.
        Until 1879, NOBODY lived there. The First Nations tribes (Anishnabe, IIRC) would hunt the area in summer, but they lived on the shores of Georgian Bay. It wasn’t until Swiss immigrants were scammed into moving there that the place had permanent residents AT ALL.
        Heh, and the area is still hunted, just later in the year.

    • Red Richmond

      There is never really a bad day for taquitos, just bad taquitos to have for a day. Hmmm, idea!….turkey/cornbread stuffing taquitos?

  • OrdinaryJoe
    • Resistor Radio

      Also too, my wine is from Argentina

      • freakishlypersistent

        Ahhh..Malbec? Yium.

        • Resistor Radio

          Yup! I broke the corkscrew in the cork, so my cousin did some kind of high-schooler magic to get it open. Teamwork!

      • Red Richmond

        Hey, the wine I’ll be drinking is from right here in the Columbia Basin or Yakima valley, right within easy driving distance- we’ve got some of the best wine in the US, possibly *the* best what with the fire damage down in California (not a good way to get on top, but…).

    • freakishlypersistent

      And their fucking MAGA shit is made in China.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      uhhh, our government is russian too.

      • SDGeoff3

        You’re on a roll today.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          sorry, super duper caffeinated.

          Took two literal chills pills, hopefully it’ll wear off soon.

          ; p

          • SDGeoff3

            Don’t apologize; I haven’t laughed this much in weeks!

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            You’re on the goofballs, aren’t you?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Our president is Russian. German, also, too.

      Our country, meanwhile, is Finnished.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        And his wife is Slovenian.

  • Resistor Radio

    Dinner is still 40 minutes away and I’m filling up on cheese. I think everyone brought a cheese plate, there’s about 15 different kinds. Who needs turkey?

  • orlaheho

    “that’s not how our system works, so stop being a crybaby and suck it up.”

    No I will NOT stop crying. Any system that puts Trump in the white house is broken, and if we don’t fix it then shame on us. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone

    • David Chaillou

      It’s not the system that is broken, it’s the polity that uses it.

      • Indeniable Ron

        The point is, I think, that the polity shouldn’t have had that opportunity if the system worked as it should have.

        • David Chaillou

          Flooded with wealth, the Republic becomes an Empire. It’s an old story.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    People who want to take away your freedom don’t deserve the freedom to do so. We need to amend the First Amendment and introduce real hate-speech laws in the US.

    https://www.un.org/press/en/2017/gashc4221.doc.htm

    The representative of the United States said her country had expressed concern over the resolution each year since its 2005 introduction. This year, it proposed amendments addressing every part of the text that violated individual freedoms of speech, thought, expression and association. While the amendment did not fix every problem, it addressed the free speech issues that glaringly made the draft a “reprehensible red line” for the United States, and others.

    The United States did not need to defend its position against Nazism. Calling the draft a cynical exercise and an annual power play by one country against its sovereign neighbours, which attempted to criminalize free speech and expression without any genuine effort to combat Nazism, discrimination or anti‑Semitism, she said the solution to hate was not censorship. It was the freedom for goodness and justice to triumph over evil and persecution. The proposals would remove overtly problematic portions of the draft resolution which violated the freedom of expression and which had inappropriately misstated historical fact.

    1) Nazis should not be given the same freedom to associate as people combating Nazis. When they get together in crowds, bad things happen. Because they’re Nazis.

    2) People who want to take away the free speech of marginalized people don’t deserve the freedom to do so. Because they’re Nazis.

    3) A “red line” against Nazis is not “reprehensible” in the least. If your country finds a red line against Nazis reprehensible, then you’re the one who’s reprehensible. Because they’re Nazis.

    3a) What others? Who the fuck is Palau besides an island in a very big ocean and why are they against condemning Nazis? Also, um, Ukraine? Poroshenko? We’re going to stand on the side of Poroshenko’s freedom to be a Nazi?

    4) Condemning Nazis is a cynical exercise? Says who? Besides Nazis?

    5) Um, what is this one country that wants a power play against sovereign neighbours? The US is the only one I can see doing that for about 75 years, since we got high off the supply of our own ego and congratulated ourselves for “defeating,” you guessed it, Nazis. Now the US is Nazis, and won’t condemn Nazis because Nazis should have the freedom to be Nazis. Um…. Projection much? Certainly cognitive dissonance…

    6) Condemning Nazism is a genuine effort towards condemning Nazism. The US simply refuses to make any genuine efforts to counteract discrimination because it doesn’t sit well with the established power structure. Anti-Semitism, meanwhile, only gets trotted out as an excuse to silence Palestinians as “terrorists,” and pander to Dominionist wackos like Ted Cruz.

    The US has a warped and perverse view of what constitutes discrimination anyway. In the US it’s wrong to discriminate against Nazis. But it’s OK to discriminate against gay people, because gay people are discriminating against Christians by continuing to live. You have a rapist with pedophilic predilections as president, and are about to put a pedophile in the Senate while wailing about the invented “threat” of trans people in bathrooms; your argument is invalid.

    7) Condemning Nazis and disallowing a platform for hate is not censorship. Allowing Nazis a platform to expand and promote hatred enables censorship of everyone else and intimidates them into silence out of fear. Should Yeshiva University be compelled to allow a Holocaust denier to deliver their commencement speech? No. Why? Because Holocaust deniers are Nazis.

    8) That’s an empty feel-good statement that assumes the storybook magic miracle of “freedom for good to conquer evil” will happen all on its own without any real action taken to lay the fertile groundwork. Mein Kampf should not be presented as having equal validity alongside Anne Frank’s diary. You don’t open a Nazi Museum as “counterweight” next door to the Holocaust Museum. You don’t let the “audience decide” if David Duke has a more compelling argument than Steven Spielberg. The “free market” will not take care of itself. Fix your gun laws and fix your “speech laws” too. Miracles don’t happen. Even your “god” supposedly helps those who help themselves.

    9) Nazis are problematic (the understatement of the millennium) and so is not condemning them because you’re worried about the freedom of Nazis. Full stop.

    10) The only people inappropriately misstating historical fact are Nazis and those who enable them. Nazis are bad. This is not up for debate. America, you suck.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      One or another South Pacific microstate can generally be found to vote with the U.S. on issues where the U.S. is isolated.

    • Shanzgood
      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I love him. I really, really miss him too.

    • Gosala

      I understand what you’re saying, and I agree with the sentiment, but I am in facie of the First Amendment as it is, not for the sake of Nazis, but for my own. I have no doubt that however well intentioned a revision might be, it will end you being twisted into an instrument to bee used against purple like you and me who dare criticize the powers that be.

      Thomas More: …And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned around on you–where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country’s planted thick with laws from coast to coast–man’s laws, not God’s–and if you cut them down…d’you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I’d give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety’s sake.

      Robert Bolt, A Man for All Season (italics added)

      • This. It is the only time when slippery slope really does apply. And we know it does because they have tried this tack before against those who were exercising their first amendment rights, peacefully. See also: Kent State. I despise nazis and what they say, but in this country they have a right to say it, just as we have a right to not host them on the internets or shout them down as they try.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Other countries have figured this out more or less. No other country has the anarchic 1A like we do. Unfortunately, as we get more distant chronologically from the horrors of that war, governments and societies need to keep reminding people of why the toxic gospel of Hitler and his cohorts don’t deserve to ever be given a platform again.

          If the U.S. in turn had been properly de-Nazified after WW2, instead of being hailed unequivocally as the messianic hero, there wouldn’t be a U.S. tech firm that aided and abetted the AfD to get 95 seats in the Bundestag and destabilize Merkel’s government. Despite this, however, Section 86a of the criminal code still exists on the books in German law: Nazism is illegal in Germany for obvious reasons. Ernst Zündel was stripped of his Canadian citizenship, and even Marine Le Pen in France had to distance herself from her notorious Holocaust-denying father.

          But the U.S. — the supposedly great “hero” of the world — remains a thorn in everyone’s side. Just look what we do with the freedom to hoard an arsenal. Not just the government (and some guy named Jeff) hoarding a nuclear arsenal, but citizens hoarding a personal one — and then using it against fellow citizens to cause harm (and no changes being made to the law besides Congressional appropriation of thoughts and prayers from the budget). Nobody else does this but us.

          • ltmcdies

            Thank you. I remember Mr Zundel very well
            And I am so tired of this.
            You’d think Britain, Canada, Australia, and every other country that has protections for speech with provisions for hate speech were gulags.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            If anything, it’s going to end up being illegal here to condemn Trump as a Nazi. But not to condemn Nazism per se.

          • shivaskeeper

            Are you willing to turn over reins of who decides hate speech to our current Congress, Administration, and SCOTUS?

            Why or why not? They are ones who get to decide it if we allow the 1st A to be changed.

          • Pretty sure each of the countries you listed also had issues with silencing of protesters from time to time, also, too, for those very same reasons. Not gulags, but the knife has two blades.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        BoingBoing said much the same thing, re: Net Neutrality

        https://boingboing.net/2017/11/22/insurgency-tactics.html

      • ltmcdies

        It’s a stage play.

        • Gosala

          Sorry, if there’s a point to that comment, I missed it.

      • shivaskeeper

        So much this.

      • Vienna Woods

        If only More had actually been that way. Sadly, he was rather a dick. And no, I am not basing this belief on Wolf Hall.

        • Gosala

          Well, fiction, you know. (Richard III was by all accounts a decent enough king, but Shakespeare needed a villian)

          • Vienna Woods

            Damn right he was good king! (Sorry, you just hit my top historical passion) And Shakespeare didn’t just need a villain, he needed to keep the Tudor queen Elizabeth happy, and it was her grandfather Henry VII who beat Richard in battle and ended the Plantagenet line on the throne of England.
            Fun fact: some of the stuff (slander! lies!) Shakespeare got on Richard came from a book written by… wait for it… Thomas More.

    • shivaskeeper

      No. Just no. No banning of any protected speech.You are also not only talking abut banning speech, you are talking about banning free assembly as well.

      Just no. You are advocating for a Government backed banning of some people’s 1st Amendment rights. In this current Government. And you think this will not be turned on you as fast as the new rules can be written? That is naive. You are advocating for the banning of Nazi speech. Half the Government right now and a majority of it’s supporters are utterly convinced Nazi’s were leftists. Where do you see that going? How does that end?

      Nowhere does the 1st Amendment protect any of these shitbags from being outed as what they are. Nowhere are they guaranteed to keep their jobs if their boss finds out they are Nazi’s. Nowhere are they protected form their pictures being plastered all over the internet for everyone to see what and who they are. The Government cannot do it, but literally everyone else in the country can.

      Go somewhere where there is no 1st Amendment protections. Tell me how great and glorious it is when someone else in power can decide that what you just said was not protected and they are going to jail you, end your career, or really just do whatever they want about it. It is not fun. It is not something that should ever be taken lightly.

      I did a job for 23 years where my 1st Amendment rights were partially suspend. I could very literally have gone to jail if any one of superiors, at any time, decided what I was saying, on or off duty, was prejudicial to the good order and discipline. That was all the regulation said. Prejudicial to the good order and discipline. It was left as a subjective call, not an objective one.

      I could be told I was not allowed to go to a protest, not only in uniform, but out of uniform as well.

      I could get busted for wearing a T shirt with a slogan that was found to be offensive, obscene, or prejudicial to the good order. In fact, to make it easy, I could be banned from wearing any clothing with any slogan or brand name visible on it. As long as everyone else under that particular superior had to abide by the same rule, it would have been fine. And that would have to power of law behind it.

      To my mind, Libertarians are far more dangerous than Nazi’s. There are more of them, and while the Nazi’s want to start a war where they will be crushed and they know it, the Libertarians want to enshrine “Fuck you, I got mine” as the basis of all the laws that are left. They want to destroy any hope for generations to come. That is dangerous. Should they be banned from speaking in public, or assembling as well? Why or why not?

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    Moar Victory at Stalingrad, summer of 1943.
    My bipolar aunt studied with Sanroma in Ponce, according to family legend it did not go well.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1JZpRZoycI

  • Bravo, Dok. Imma share this with all and sundry.

    Happy Day for Gratefulness fellow Wonkers!

  • Jamoche

    The lady who flipped off Donnie for all of us has a gofundme that’s raised over $70K.
    https://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-woman-who-flipped-off-donald-trump-is-getting-a-huge-payday-because-of-it-2017-11-14

    • Tom Mears

      $127k as of 3:45 thursday

  • Jamoche

    https://medium.com/@jeffykao/more-than-a-million-pro-repeal-net-neutrality-comments-were-likely-faked-e9f0e3ed36a6
    Natural language processing revealed that at least 1.3 million anti-net neutrality FCC comments were by bots, but it’s the pro- comments the FCC is planning on ignoring.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      which were AOT,K once you weed out the bots

    • freakishlypersistent

      I used to be under the impression that majority ruled, in a democracy. I’ve been disabused of the this notion.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Welcome to the Untied States of Apartheid.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Now it’s whoever can afford the loudest bullhorn.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      When humans can no longer afford the Internet all it will be are bots yapping at each other.

      • Walter Wellstone

        I’m not fully convinced that’s going to be a bad thing. We’ll have the bots caged in into a closed environment and all we’ll need to do is pull the proverbial plug on the whole thing. We’ll go back to the pre-Internet days and we’ll have a chance to start all over again.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I guess it’s good that I hung onto my floppy disks.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Several weeks ago I had an email I obviously didn’t pay enough attention to. I think it was from the WaPo (it was from some news organization), asking about my comments to the FCC on net neutrality. At the time, I thought there was some hatchet job brewing against whichever of the left-leaning groups I sent my message under, but now it seems that perhaps I was hijacked by an anti-NN bot.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      FCC is now spelled CCCP.

      • Indeniable Ron

        I miss the CCCP. They were far more reasonable to get along with.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Well, Gorby did say that “when we are gone, you will have no one to fight against but yourselves.” And then, the Russian collusion (and murder of democracy) began.

  • Beelzebubba

    About to sit down with family, and dismember a turkey. Wishing all Wonkers the same joy today.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      well, when u put it that way…

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I’m at a point where I’d like to sit down with a turkey and dismember my family. With, you know, lack-of-phone-call votes.

      • Beelzebubba

        It can be hard to distinguish the two, depending on the family you’ve been blessedsaddled with.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Thanks Giving!

  • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

    Thanks, Dok, and same to you!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    uhhhhhh

    A Minnesota man accused of committing war crimes when he commanded a Nazi-led unit during World War II contributed thousands of dollars to the Republican National Committee, a Daily Beast review of federal campaign records found.

    Michael Karkoc is wanted for arrest in Poland after the country’s war crimes prosecutors said they are “100 percent” certain that Karkoc commanded a SS company and that there was “no doubt” that his men razed two Polish villages, killing 40 civilians. In July, Poland requested Karkoc’s extradition from the U.S. and is waiting for a decision. (The Justice Department said it does not comment on extradition requests.)

    In June 2013, the Associated Press reported Karkoc was a SS officer and that one of his men told Soviet investigators that his unit had been ordered to “liquidate all the residents” of the village of Chlaniow, Poland, resulting in the deaths of men, women and children.

    After the AP published its exposé, Karkoc made three separate contributions to the Republican National Committee totaling $3,850 between September 2013 and May 2014. These are the only federal campaign contributions he has made, according to available records.

    The RNC did not respond to a request for comment.

    Karkoc’s son, Andriy Karkos, told The Daily Beast the contributions were made only because Karkoc has been a “lifelong Republican.”

    “He has a picture of Ronald and Nancy Reagan in his bedroom,” Karkos said.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      But but but Weinstein!!1!

    • BosGrl

      So not even an alt but the real damned thing.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      No wonder the U.S. won’t condemn Nazis.

      They’re literally paying the salary of America’s natural governing party.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        whoa there canadian friend – the U.S. DOES condemn nazis – even some republicans.

        it’s the far right that doesn’t.

        #NotEvenCloseToAllAmericans

        ; p

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I’m a Canadian admirer on the wrong side of the Orange Curtain. I was referring more to the U.S. delegation at the U.N., which refused to sign off on a resolution condemning Nazism because it violated the First Amendment right of Nazis to be Nazis. While at the same time Trump has called for locking up journalists who criticize him, and made locking up his political opponent a key issue of his campaign. The only other countries that voted no were Palau (apparently some random island out in the bigliest ocean tends to go along with things the U.S. does for some reason), and Ukraine… where Poroshenko is a fucking Nazi.

          • Phried Ω

            Palau is part of the Pacific Compact of Free Association with the United States (sort of a quasi-colony) as is the Marshall Islands and others. The business end of the deal is administered by the Dept. of the Interior. I recall they accepted some Gitmo prisoners under Obama persuasion and I expect they do their very best not to get in the way of whatever administration is running the US.

        • Gosala

          She’s not saying that Americans don’t hate Nazis. She’s referring to this UN vote in which the US Government refused to support a resolution condemning Nazis.

          http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-un-nazi-glorification-resolution-vote-against-free-speech-far-right-white-supremacist-neo-alt-a8066761.html

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      National Republican Heritage Groups Council

      “As late as 1988, there were a number of genuine pro-Nazi, anti-Semitic types from Eastern and Central Europe in the Republican Party’s National Republican Heritage Groups Council. Several of these worthies were leaders of the George Bush presidential campaign’s ethnic outreach arm, the Coalition of American Nationalities, despite the fact that their checkered past was not a big secret. One of them, Laszlo Pasztor (or Pastor) had served in the pro-Nazi Hungarian government’s embassy in Berlin during the war. This had been revealed in a 1971 page-one story in the Washington post. When this past was again brought up in September 1988, the Republicans were obliged to dump Pasztor and four others of his ilk from Bush’s campaign.”

      https://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php/National_Republican_Heritage_Groups_Council

    • His son does not know it does not make it better that the former SS guy idolized St Ronnie eh?

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Why don’t THEY just change the name to Black Friday eve?

  • Lord Jim

    GWB’s chief ethics lawyer is not buying it:
    https://twitter.com/RWPUSA/status/933786166767357953

    • The Wanderer

      It’s easier to be stupid, and Americans like to do things the easy way.

      • Indeniable Ron
      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Easier, and therefore more socially acceptable. America is a nation run by penis-measuring jocks who let the nerds invent weapons, but then kicked them out and trampled all over them once they started talking about sissy things like ethics, diplomacy and peace agreements. The nerds got wise to this, and started emulating the jocks as a way of making themselves “socially acceptable” — they unleashed their rage against women who they saw as being more attracted to the jocks instead of “putting out” for them, and now we’ve got Reddit and James Damore and the general techbro culture that’s basically the left-brain maths-and-atheism equivalent of the troglodytic GOP. “Silicon Valley liberals” my ass. These guys have cultivated a religion around Rand and Heinlein like Tom Cruise worships at the altar of Ron Hubbard.

        For all the people who share that stupid Obama meme — “in 1980 under Reagan, we had Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, and Steve Jobs; in 20__ under Obama, we have no Hope, no Cash, and no Jobs” — what America really lacks is brains, heart, and the courage to do better. “Pay no attention to that man behind the Orange Curtain; he’s a Red of a different color.” Stupidity is part and parcel of toxic masculinity. But so are callousness and entitlement. Both of which are hallmarks of unchecked aggression. America is worse than simply stupid. America is a culture of garbage men.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      It still baffles me that Shrub had an ethics lawyer. Apparently he didn’t have too many assignments during his time in that job.

      • I don’t think they ever listened to him

      • puredog

        And more than one, it sounds like, if Painter was the “chief” ethics lawyer.

      • Beelzebubba

        They only ever asked, “Can we get away with this?”
        From all the evidence, his advice was spot on.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    THE MISOGYNY IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE NEWSROOM!
    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/11/misogyny-coming-inside-newsroom

  • The Wanderer
  • BloviateMe

    Sportsball moment:

    I’m thankful the Vikings were able to beat both the Lions and the refs. Now I can enjoy the rest of the day.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Meanwhile, I hate Dan Snyder. It’s especially cruel that his team, with racist mascot and name, played or is soon to play a sportsball game on a “holiday” where we celebrate RWNJ fundamentalists from England breaking bread with indigenous people before the murders began. I want to say, “I stand with Kap” but, I’m not standing for this either. I’ll stand with Standing Rock and take a knee for Wounded Knee. I’m sitting this whole holiday and atrocious sport out.

      • I’ll stand with Standing Rock and kneel for Wounded Knee
        This is lovely, thank you!

      • NorthernSaber

        Yep. I’ve pretty much put NFL football on the shelf- in my case because I can’t watch concussions and call it entertainment. I’ve fallen completely for England’s “Premier League” soccer, something that’s become a Saturday morning ritual the past two years. I love the tradition, the singing, the accents- the whole deal. The matches are done and dusted in two hours and at times it is truly a beautiful game. Don’t know if you’re a Sportsball person at all, but I recommend it highly.

  • Joe Beese

    NYT alert: Flynn has broken ties with Trump’s lawyers, evidence that he’s turning rat

  • nightmoth

    Yesterday a wonker suggested we post pix of out Thanksgiving. Are we doing that?

    • Sure! I won’t. Cause I don’t do the whole plate decorating thing and what not. But I’d love to see yours :D

      • nightmoth

        We spent the day with a group that takes in foreign refugees. There were around 200 people from 15 or so countries! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f6025263c25df23cd83f41af56804afdfd971b71cc6751ec123495c3cfeec90.jpg

        • Oh that is AWESOME!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          That is remarkable. That really is what this day should be all about.

          • Agreed :) In Richmond every year, they do a big free communal dinner. It’s for whomever, some homeless folks, some lonely olds without family, some struggling families. Fed about 3000 they said today, and as diverse a crowd as you could likely get. And then there in a hairnet was our governor serving up I think pie XD

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Ralph? The new one? That’s awesome!

          • lol no, Terry, the one still XD I do not think Ralph took over just yet.
            But there was Terry, all hairnetted out, and when the cameras landed on him he TURNED HIS BACK to keep truckin on.
            He has his faults, but he’s basically good

          • Edit: Ralph will take over in January ^.^ He is probably visiting sick kids today or something

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      All I got is duck bacon, but I can post that from my phone, I suppose.

    • BosGrl
      • nightmoth

        Very nice! Much classier than Ivana’s centerpiece.

        • BosGrl

          She does make it look festive :)

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Sis sets a good table. A lot classier than Ivan(k)a’s, I agree. NH is really pretty this time of year too.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Duck bacon. Part of an imbalanced breakfast. Cropped to get under the 5M limit.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fa2fb23092bf3a90912d69cff9f5db0262b2850ddc1a1888ed7c6207aec72497.jpg

      • nightmoth

        So you’re a duck hunter? Because I’ve never seen that at a grocer’s.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Nope. Got it at Berkeley Bowl.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          And it was both of those things. I spooned some rendered fat into the egg pan.
          However, I think it was overcooked. Gonna try a hotter pan, shorter cook time.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        No corkscrews there. You must not be using the penis meat.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Pkg says its cured, chopped and shaped breast meat

  • I have emerged from my job interview. I do not think it went super well.

    • gallbladder

      You didn’t fart, did you?

    • shastakoala

      Think positive!

    • Sorry sweetie :snuggle:
      But you never know. In my interview last year, it was a skype one, I couldn’t get the sound to work, had the cat stick her ass right in the interviewer’s face, and there was a giant stain on my wall I hadn’t noticed before where my son had accidentally spilled something and neglected to tell me or clean it up.
      I figured I had no prayer. Hired me anyway!

      • I’m missing a lot of the technical experience for this, but have the organization specific experience and knowledge and learn super well.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      On Thanksgiving?

      • Canadian thanksgiving is some other heathen day

        • When it isn’t stupid cold

          • gallbladder

            It’s raining here in Calgary. +13C. Fucking insane.

          • It’s just over 0 in SW Ontario, but it’s supposed to be 10 tomorrow

          • gallbladder

            Crazy.

          • Beelzebubba

            27ºF in the Adirondacks. “Crisp” fall weather in these parts.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            That one I know. 32F. The boiling point is 100C/212F. Another way America has to stick out like a sore thumb and be “special.” We won’t use normal math like the rest of the world.

          • pft, you sensible canadians with your don’t enter into the lean time by having food orgies.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          It’s our “Columbus Day”. Time featured an unintentionally funny blurb where they basically explained that it’s a day to be thankful they’re not Americans. Apparently it’s an extra-special day to do that, though. Usually, that’s just called a day that ends in Y. (Or day that ends in a vowel, if you’re in Québec. All days end in “I” except Dimanche/Sunday.)

      • Canuck. Thanksgiving was last month

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Oh. Never mind.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Weren’t you supposed to see a Dr today?

    • BosGrl

      You never know! Sending good thoughts.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Oh, best of luck, Pickwick! As BosGrl said, you never know. It’s one component of the overall package. There’s always a chance you might get a call back when you least expect it.

  • gallbladder

    It’s all about empathy: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-42095861

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got something in my eye.

    • Onion ninjas even on Thanksgiving?

      • gallbladder

        No time or place seems to offer mercy nor quarter where they’re concerned.

        • sniffle, the bastards

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            My grandmother’s dying wish was that she be able to be wheeled from her hospital bed in her bedroom out to her backyard just to get some fresh air and sunshine. In order to do that, we’d have to build a deck on the patio. My aunt (who I didn’t end up having to spend time with after another tearful session with my mother, who I think is coming to an understanding about this, and might even more so if I show her this article) had the money to do it. But she’s cheap and stingy, and wants to hang on to every penny until she (the aunt) dies. Not to mention, she’s a hoarder who doesn’t want “outsiders” in the house.

            So no matter how much my mother begged and pleaded (she doesn’t have the money), my aunt said no. Long story short, the deck never got built, and my grandmother is dead going on a year and a half now. The even more sickening irony is that all of my aunt’s assets are in my grandmother’s name as a “beneficiary” deliberately so that my mother won’t see a dime. When the aunt dies it basically evaporates, because my mother doesn’t have the money to pay a probate lawyer either. She knows she “can’t take it with her.” But that to her is more satisfying than knowing anyone else got to have so much as a cent. Including her own mother.

            This story makes me cry even more so, because there’s a personal connection to the obvious similarity. That could have been my grandmother in her bed looking out at the sunshine. I’m actually welling up because that old song “You Are My Sunshine” was one of her favorites that she used to sing to me as a child. My aunt is nothing but darkness and greed.

          • She does sound horrible :hugs:

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Thanks. Interesting note: She actually hates the Christmas Carol story because she thinks Scrooge got screwed. I really don’t know how anyone can countenance someone like this or give them the benefit of the doubt.

          • She hates it because it pricks her conscience I am willing to wager. That must be terrible to live like that, loathing yourself.
            I shan’t pity her however; sounds like she made her bed

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Nah, she hasn’t made her bed in 20 years…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Extra salt for the stuffing.

    • Beautiful Soup

      I witnessed a similar moment once. It was a beautiful sight.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      I’m not crying – YOU’RE crying.

      • gallbladder

        No YOU are !

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Sometimes it is not the drugs, training, skills – sometimes all you need is empathy to make a difference!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a71c8b1536c968dcf3e565e6a6469ef73700fddff97b4097875f7aa70f9e900d.jpg

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I thought empathy had been banned via Executive Order.

    • proudgrampa

      Damn beaches…

  • JoeChristmas

    i’m thankful for Wonkette, and Wonkville. Well until, Net Not Neutrality kicks in and bombs the place.

    • gallbladder

      …and forbids comments.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy
    • The Wanderer

      She should be doing her fellatrix performance, not her flautist impression.

      • Lord Jim

        Skin flute…

        • The Wanderer

          She shall endeavor to charm the Legendary One-Eyed Viper!

  • David Chaillou

    For a good laugh, go read the latest shit by the wannabe Fuehrer at Breitbart’s home of 21st-century Nazis. I love how he packs the NFL dog-whistle in the final sentence without even bothering to make sense. And the illustration picture is a lesson in propaganda.

    I get the feeling he’s going off the deep end, and taking his admirers with him.

    http://www.breitbart.com/radio/2017/11/23/steve-bannon-calls-for-return-to-thanksgiving-traditionalism-slams-black-friday-consumerism/

    • gallbladder

      The deeper the better: none of them know how to swim.

      • David Chaillou

        But what is dead can never drown, but rises again, harder and stronger. Or something to that effect, whatever. I’m a bit tired of waiting for Mr Martin to pull his pen out of his ass.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Nope. Not going to give them my eyeballs.

      • bbayliss

        I will not allow them to ruin thanksgiving.
        Now I have a turkey to eat.

        • David Chaillou

          Don’t you miss the old thanksgiving(TM) with a white tie-wearing daddy and a white apron-wearing housewife ?

          And the laughable part is, this golden age he’s harping upon is precisely the generation which wallowed in consumerism.

          • Phried Ω

            I refuse to shave today.

          • still in my nightgown. Probably should change

          • The Wanderer

            As soon as possible, off go my pants.

          • bbayliss

            I remember when the ‘war on christmas’ was a battle to restore a degree of solemnity to a season that was becoming crassly commercial.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I hate that pustule-faced Irish drunkard not just because he’s a legitimate Nazi, but because he looks like my pustule-faced Irish drunkard father. Who actually wants the NFL to continue their protests, because he finds the back-and-forth with Trump to be “entertaining.” The Kap cover of GQ was featured on some sportsball talk show. He laughed, because Kap was wearing his natural hair, and said “check out this guy, he thinks he’s Shaft or something.” Don’t even get me started on his sentiments about today’s cringeworthy scheduling of Dan Snyder’s racist team. I’m at a point where I feel the need to schedule an appointment with a neurosurgeon for an elective lobotomy.

      • David Chaillou

        Would the appointment be for yourself or for your father?

    • mancityRed6

      the funny thing is the old rummy apparently can’t even write his own column for it.

    • Wait. Isn’t slamming consumerism…..SOCIALISM?????

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Steve Bunion is a self-declared Leninist who wants to, in his words, “destroy the administrative state” (aka the bureaucracy). That Nazi lunatic wouldn’t know comparative government or revolutionary analysis if Comrade Groucho Marx took his Cuban cigar and stubbed it out on his fat ass.

      • David Chaillou

        Tell me if you can spot the differences between “conservative nationalist-populism” and the old national-socialism.

    • Beelzebubba

      This dipshit is seriously wondering what the Pilgrims and American Revolution fighters would think of NFL players kneeling for the National Anthem. http://www.breitbart.com/radio/2017/11/23/steve-bannon-on-nfl-kneeling-for-national-anthem-what-would-pilgrims-american-revolution-fighters-think-of-us/

      I have some likely answers:
      1. What the fuck is the NFL?
      2. What the fuck is the national anthem?
      3. Don’t people always kneel for things that they respect?

      I posted that on not-so-Breitbart. Looking forward to the responses from the not-so-Breitbarbarian hordes.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        e) Who let those blaspheming Papists in here?!!

  • Resistor Radio

    Gotta say, I’m having a great time with my extended family this holiday. There was a lot of pain and drama last year, and I was a little intimidated about hanging out but I’m SO glad I came up. Lots of hugs and laughs and good times. And Roy Moore jokes.

    • gallbladder

      For a moment, the buoyant context of your note had me reading it as “Lots of drugs…”

      • so glad I am not the only one.

      • Resistor Radio

        Wine, is that what you mean?

    • BosGrl

      That is great! My family is behaving as well. :)

      • Resistor Radio

        The only conservative in the room isn’t talking politics. For once. :)

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Anyone else’s Mom thoroughly wash and dry the recycling?

    • BosGrl

      I only rinse it if it’s, like, a tuna can. Otherwise, no.

      • CountryClubJihadi

        Holidays are helpful in tracing patterns of OCD :)

    • Catstro

      Back when we were kids there was no recycling, so we referred to this activity as “washing the trash”. So yes (but not my mom, my grandma).
      Edit: this was done so that plasticware could be re-used, not to keep food waste out of the recycling chain.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      I rinse or sometimes wash slightly, if it has roast chicken residue or the like.

    • Beelzebubba

      She runs it though the dishwasher. True story.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        I try to have a vague notion of not cancelling out the recycling benefit with water and energy usage.

        • Beelzebubba

          “Vague notions” is pretty much how she operates these days. She means well at all times, so we just let it slide.

  • Lazyjay

    Here at the family hang out waiting on the turkey to finish cooking. Drinking Apple pie moonshine and watching the feetball game. The trumpian finally showed up so we shall see how it goes.

  • Resistor Radio

    I’m so glad I brought yoga pants for the drive home.

    • vivian

      *in the voice of my mother* “and who is this yoga pants you’re talking about?”

      • Resistor Radio

        “God Mom! I only bought them to torture incels. Sheesh!” *in my self-righteous teenager voice*

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Celebrating Catsgiving with a cigar, today.

    However, I have never been flipped-off by a cigar before.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c53d7ec3c744f6bbca7338a25891421b4c02505e00d9e826f23e6c692f679faa.png

    Have a Great and Happy Thanksgiving, people!

    • OutOfOrbit

      that one’s got a woody

    • vivian

      That’s a crazy photo. Took me 30 seconds to get the scale right. I thought it was a tree stump sticking out of a rock until my brain finally processed it right.
      Anyhow, Happy happy!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        My Lumix has a macro setting. Anyway, I suppose I could photoshop an image of Trump Jr sitting on there burning his ass.

    • Beelzebubba

      Stems. No seeds, I trust.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Just that one stem. It was only a $2 stick.

  • Cat Cafe
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Cat on the right should be on the left. Clearly, he’s a Groucho Marxist.

  • Raan

    So, what did everyone put in their turkey (where applicable)?

    I put in half an onion, sandwiched between two halves of a granny smith apple.

    • Stuffing. Because stuffing. And the only time of year I can indulge in turkey grease soaked stuffing.

    • The Wanderer

      A mixture of butter, parsley, sage, thyme, paprika and ground cloves.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        But are you going to Scarborough Fair?

        • Doug Langley

          Old SNL gag: Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Newsweek.

          • Raan

            Older joke (possibly): Italian science during World War 2 doesn’t get the credit it deserves. In the face of coal shortages, Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            I guess he was quite the wise old sage. America needs to legalize the herb. Britain already legalized the Spices.

            https://www.billboard.com/files/styles/article_main_image/public/media/spice-girls-1997-billboard-1548.jpg

          • Msgr_MΩment

            It’s that time of month.
            The spices must flow.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            Commenting because over the internet you can’t hear my groan….

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Doesn’t the butter make that kinda hard to light up and smoke?

        • Raan

          Nah, man. Lubricates the smoke so it doesn’t stick in your lungs.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Interesting. Luckily, I don’t (intentionally) inhale my cigar smoke, or I would be rubbing butter on my stick this very minute.

            (I reread that and thought about it a few seconds, cracked up, and decided not to edit it.)

    • cmd resistor

      I put granny smith apples in the stuffing along with onion celery and green pepper.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      An onion, quartered, and wedged oranges and lemons from the brine.

  • nevernude
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Rumor has it Malia has a new main squeeze, who’s a Harvard boy from the UK.

      At least according to the British tabloids.

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/11/22/malia-obamas-harvard-boyfriend-revealed-british-student-roryfarquharson/

      • I am doing my weird brittophile thing again and wondering if she’ll marry some landed gentry and get to live in a castle.
        Dear lord, there is a romantic in me despite all my best efforts to stamp it down

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Hey, it’s going to happen for Megan Markle, and there was Princess Grace the movie star turned actual princess. This is a new generation. The royals and upper-crust need a little flavor to counteract a millennium-plus of plain-vanilla inbreeding.

          Elsewhere, however, Mueller just needs to make sure he tackles and shackles Trump before the prestige-obsessed wanker gets any closer to the “northern Kennedys” JT and Sophie.

      • nevernude

        I’m… uncomfortable gossiping about the love life of a teenager? However, that article SPECIFICALLY states he was the “Head Boy”, which may or may not confirm some of my theories about British schooling.

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Ummm . . errr . . um. Depends how you say it, I suppose.

          • nevernude

            indeed.

  • The Wanderer

    Work’s winding down, so soon it’ll be off to the house, and I figure about 15 minutes to get everything served up and warmed so dinner can be consumed. I’m thinking rye and ginger ale as accompaniment, and Kaffee mit Jaegermeister with dessert.

    • Resistor Radio

      Maybe it’s the Malbec talking, but at a glance I thought you were gonna be watching Kylie Kardashian when you got home. :D

      • The Wanderer

        LOL
        Nope, although I have taken advantage of the Internet to stuff my brains on several MST3K turkeys.

    • Cat Cafe

      Make sure it is a really strong ginger ale, those are the best with rye or bourbon

      • The Wanderer

        As to that, what I have is not going to stand up to the rye, but I have yet to get the post-Thanksgiving shopping done.

  • Picabo

    Sarah Josepha Hale was an American writer and an influential editor. She is the author of the nursery rhyme “Mary Had a Little Lamb”. Hale famously campaigned for the creation of the American holiday known as Thanksgiving.
    Hale may be the individual most responsible for making Thanksgiving a national holiday in the United States; it had previously been celebrated only in New England. Each state scheduled its own holiday, some as early as October and others as late as January; it was largely unknown in the American South. Her advocacy for the national holiday began in 1846 and lasted 17 years before it was successful. In support of the proposed national holiday, Hale wrote letters to five Presidents of the United States: Zachary Taylor, Millard Fillmore, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, and Abraham Lincoln. Her initial letters failed to persuade, but the letter she wrote to Lincoln convinced him to support legislation establishing a national holiday of Thanksgiving in 1863. The new national holiday was considered a unifying day after the stress of the American Civil War. Before Thanksgiving’s addition, the only national holidays celebrated in the United States were Washington’s Birthday and Independence Day.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Josepha_Hale
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8e8252b9f5382be32f5f019f585e8d736033f6ca31b6698ac1410a829f384822.jpg

    • Cat Cafe

      Sarah’s husband: Sarah. Will you GIVE IT A REST!??
      Sarah: No! I’m writing to the NEW President!
      Sarah’s husband: FOUR PRESIDENTS SAID NO. Will you please come to bed, and also, once in a while, help me make dinner for our five children?
      Sarah: WE MUST GIVE THANKS

      • Picabo

        Nevertheless, she persisted.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Well then, I guess there’s hope for women to get things done with letter-writing campaigns after all. Although, those presidents both read and wrote correspondence longer than 140 characters — even if said correspondence didn’t mention their names throughout the missive. I wonder if I could get our guy to veto the calamitous tax bill if I prefaced it with “President Donald J. Trump is the kindest, warmest, handsomest, most brilliant, and worst-treated president I’ve ever known in my entire life”?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mary had a little lamb,
      A little beef,
      A little ham…..

      /spirit of the holiday.

  • Nephilim

    Burrough’s, “Thanksgiving” reminds me of George Carlin’s, “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

  • mancityRed6

    it’s a wonderful 63F/17C here in eastern Brownbackistan. a lovely drive to see the parents. good spaghetti. I put my fancy $110 sticker on my car to keep from being pulled over and inflated my tires.
    tonight, drive down to the plaza. tomorrow, laundry and an urgent care because I most assuredly have an ear infection. and then Saturday, I’m on the road again. Joplin, this time. another hour south of where I was today.
    I’ll see her dad, again. and I’ll get to meet the kids.
    I’m already nervous about the latter.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      The Plaza lighting ceremony is pretty cool. That’s part of what I miss about KC. That, and the BBQ.

      • mancityRed6

        I took a picture 13 years ago with a decent 35mm, it’s hanging on a friend’s wall right now. I’ll have my phone with me tonight.

      • schmannity

        I miss the Loose Park rose garden–and Gates & Sons.

    • re kids: Not that you asked for advice, but don’t try to be their best buddy. Just treat them like regular people, polite and attentive.
      Kids are seriously perceptive.

      • mancityRed6

        the boy is super smart, and he plays video games. the girl is just like her mom, just turned up to 11. but he’s 11 and she’s 6

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Is he bigly good with the cyber? Because the cyber is incredible, it’s amazing. Many, many people aren’t aware of this, you know, the cyber. Very smart people like Bill Gates can’t even figure it out.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Hi Wonkers!

    I spent the day running a 10K (knee isn’t 100% so my time sucked, but I was able to run at least) and then delivering meals to street people. So I am actually feeling pretty grateful despite knowing who POTUS is.

    While I’m at it–thank you, dear Wonkers, for helping me keep some of my sanity. Happy rest-of-Thanksgiving!

    • The Wanderer

      Always glad to hand out more Sanity Points.

    • Good on ya, Callyson. Happy Thanksgiving!

    • mancityRed6

      I’m looking at a 5k mud run next April. She’s pushing for a 5k at the end of next month. no. no. and no again. I am not in anywhere near the shape to run a mile, let alone 3

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        She does next month’s run and you position yourself somewhere along the course to cheer her on and give her some water if she needs. You train (runnersworld.com has great training plans) and do the 5K mud run together. Win-wiin!

        • mancityRed6

          she’s done half marathons already. and even out of any kind of training she still can do 3 miles with ease.

    • shastakoala

      Good for you! :)

    • vivian

      What is the opposite of FFS? Whatever that is, this is that.

    • Cally, you make me feel ashamed for my utter lazy-stayed-in-my-flannel all day day XD You are wonderful. That is all

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That’s awesome, Cally. Good that you’re in relatively good shape and also that you made time to do good works for those who need it most. This is what holidays are supposed to be about. Really, it should be every day.

    • Werewolf

      Did a 29-mile bike ride in perfect weather with almost no vehicular traffic-have to earn the turkey, right?

      • Impatient

        Next best thing to New Years morning. Drive English if U like!

        • Werewolf

          Also good days for cycling-Christmas day and Superb Owl Sunday.

  • Doug Langley

    Okay. So I drove to Boston Market, walked in, and they said “Do you want meat? No meat for an hour.” They were all out of chicken, turkey, meatloaf, the works. Got back in the car and drove on. Went by Golden Corral, parking lot was choked with cars, it’d be half an hour just to get to the cashier. Drove on to a Bob Evans. People waiting, so I got a counter seat. Cooks and servers in complete bedlam. Got the Thanksgiving meal for $15. Good slices of turkey, stuffing, mac and cheese, potatoes and gravy. Some broccoli (why can’t these places cook veggies right? mystery for the ages) and couple slices pumpkin bread. Tastee. For desert, slice of pumpkin supreme, same as pumpkin but with a layer of cream cheese. Um – yummy!!

    So reasonable meal.

    • yay Bob Evans! :huggles: Happy Thanksgiving, Doug! I am Thankful you got a nice meal

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Never heard of “Bob Evans” restaurant, but I’m glad you were able to have a hearty meal. Happy Thanksgiving Doug :)

      • Doug Langley

        Chain of family style restaurants. Think Denny’s.

        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Think Denny’s, but with a closer approach to this “food” thing folks keep talking about.

        • Impatient

          bobevanz libelz!

    • CripesAmighty

      Keep meaning to try it. Coworkers say it’s great. Good on ya!

      • Doug Langley

        It’s not great, but it’s good enough.

  • WomanInThePersistence
  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    This is not going to sit well with Ken Hamboner.

    Galapagos finches caught in act of becoming new species

    In 1981, the researchers noticed the arrival of a male of a non-native species, the large cactus finch.
    Professors Rosemary and Peter Grant noticed that this male proceeded to mate with a female of one of the local species, a medium ground finch, producing fertile young.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-42103058

    Of course, this may also mean that an honest to Darwin turducken is maybe only a mating event away.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a9537582fde2dd8a76eb8e1942b3992adb1c075848bdebcdfcdcb5907591edb6.jpg

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Hamboner: “But they are still birds!”

      You can’t win with those idiots.

    • Raan

      I don’t know that a duck’s corkscrew dick will be compatible with either a turkey or a chicken.

      I really wasn’t anticipating talking about duck penises today.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        You’re the one who brought it up.

        • Raan

          It’s like a reflex at this point, one I entirely blame on Plague of Gripes and the Best Friends Zaibatsu.

      • mancityRed6

        first, you need some music, and then some alcohol

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Gives a new meaning to going south for the winter.

      • Red Richmond

        Gotta be honest, I’ve been dreading having that talk with my son. I mean though, how old should he be before we have that father-son duck penis talk? They grow up so fast these days, but I also don’t want him to be the last one in school to know about them.

        • Raan

          When the time is right, you’ll feel it in the heart of the cards.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Shortly after the prehensile pennies of porpoises!

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            …..and what they like to do to tourists!!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Well, last night we had Poolsharkdog, and there’s also Veganbabbybutthole and Puppymonkeybabby. Chimeras are going to be a thing. They already are, if you consider the possibility that our president carries Hutt DNA.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      So how would you make a tofucken?

      • Raan

        A soybean chicken stuffed inside an edamame duck stuffed inside a tofu turkey?

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Matryoska bird?

      • Phried Ω

        I bet you need a lot of bean curd.

    • shivaskeeper

      Nope. This just proves micro-evolution among kinds. They claim that is a thing as opposed to macro-evolution which is not a thing.

      It’s easier when you get to make up your own words and definitions.

      • Raan

        Then how do they explain Captain Caveman or Magilla Gorilla?

        Checkmate, creationists.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      So which one came first?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        The chicken yelled duck! but the turkey was too slow to move out of the way.

        • Phried Ω

          Wabbitt season!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          He got goosed…

  • shastakoala

    I am trying to glue my poorly executed deviled eggs together with extra mayo. Hope my guests like mayo.

    • Doug Langley

      I’ve found nothing beats Gorilla Glue.

      • efoveks

        Does it taste anything like library paste? Asking for a friend.

        • Doug Langley

          To be honest, it’s an acquired taste.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It sure keeps the gorillas together.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Have you tried duct tape?

      • efoveks

        Are you allowed to do that with chicken eggs, or would that be too foul? (Pun proudly intended)

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Don’t egg him on.

          • Doug Langley

            Okay, okay, we get the yolk.

          • Phried Ω

            I ovoid comments.

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          You’re a pecker for posting that!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          There’s only a poultry amount of pride one may take in such puns, comrade.

          • Raan

            Omelettes.

            Am I doing it right?

      • Roadstergal
      • shastakoala

        Duct tape is a killer to digest.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Duct tape goes down easier if eaten with canned clams.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            ob-monster-outrage:
            “You monster!!!!”

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Mayo is the perfect fix. I’m sure they will be delicious.

    • vivian

      Yeah, ya gotta go for those eggs with the magnetic whites, is all.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, I’m about to head out and get food (my friends and I are going to do Thanksgiving on Saturday so I’ll go to a sports bar and watch the game.) Leaving you with something else to be grateful for, or so I hope:

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/933806145944170496

    • Raan

      Sounds like Flynn, who’s been shopping around his info to prosecutors since he was fired, might have flipped like a pancake.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    Repost, in case anyone needs to trump today.

    11 YOGA POSES TO HELP YOU FART
    Trapped wind? No problem. Look no further than these yoga stretches with poses specially designed to help you trump.
    https://thedebrief.co.uk/things-to-do/home/11-yoga-poses-help-fart/

    • As a yogi for 20 some years, I can say without fear of contradiction that some classes were nothing but fart fests.

      Avoid class tomorrow.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You’re smarter than the average bearer. Of fart news.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      If I want to fart, but can’t, I always go downtown and board an elevator with a cute blond gal in it. Works every time!

      Of course, I’m not serious. For the most pfart.

  • Gosala
    • When evolution is outlawed only outlaws will evolve. – Jello Biafra

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        There’s always room for Jello.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I tried to take out a life-insurance policy on that idiot, but was not able to for some reason. /s

      • Phried Ω

        Wagers are the next best thing.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻