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Some people are REALLY not getting the memo. For instance, if you are a law enforcement official who looks at the avalanche of sexual assault allegations in the media and thinks, “Now’s the time for me to be making rape jokes online,” well, WE CANNOT AGREE 100% WITH YOUR POLICE WORK THERE, Police Chief Bryan Hammond of Killen, Alabama.

On the Facebook post of a local television station’s story about Roy Moore accuser Beverly Young Nelson, Hammond joked that, “Silence is consent.” AS ONE DOES.

Har Dee Har! See, it’s funny because now victims in Killen get to report sexual assault to a law enforcement officer who thinks that a woman who doesn’t die trying to fight off her attacker actually consented to sex.

That Chief Hammond is a card, ain’t he? In fact, he had some more funny things to say in that same Facebook exchange.

Joking that Doug Jones sexually assaulted you as a child? Nothing funnier than child abuse, right?

Oh, Bryan Hammond, you are the living end! And also the living embodiment of every stereotype about good old boy, smalltown, no-justice-just-us law enforcement officers. You are Exhibit A for why sexual assault survivors wait decades to come forward, knowing they’ll face shame and derision from the very people who are supposed to protect them. In fact, we hope one of your deputies arrests you tomorrow for aggravated murder of irony.

In his own defense, Chief Hammond responds that you all should learn to take a joke!

That was sarcasm. … It was just a friend that I had commented on her post.

Hammond knows he is being oppressed for his Republican views, just like Roy Moore. Because obviously Republicans are the real victims in a state with a Republican governor, Republican attorney general, and Republican legislature. He’s been suspended for 15 days without pay, since everyone in Alabama is so goddamn PC these days, we guess. What will poor Killen do without him?

[AL.com screenshots / AL.com / TPM / WHNT.com]

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  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Oh, thank christ.

  • schmannity

    Silence is consent.

    –American Chloroform Manufacturers’ Association

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • docterry6973

    I am certainly looking forward to spending my travel dollars in Alabama. Really I am.

    • Seek

      said no one, ever. I used to have to go to Huntsville for work, We got desperate to find something to do that didn’t have anything to do with Space Missile Defense Command. So we found the largest tourist attraction in AL. It was the Lost Luggage Store in which you trawl through other people’s lost luggage for stuff. The entire state was Fucking boring ass place with racists and bugs and sweat and heat.

      Do Not Recommend

  • Crystalclear12

    Sheriff,
    It’s not because you’re a Republican, its because you’re an asshole.

    • Cool_North

      Although in the last few decades there’s a huge overlap.

      • Historicat

        Practically a party plank at this point.

      • HarryButtle

        Yeah, that’s a Venn diagram of one circle.

  • James Baskin

    He’s not using the ‘drunk’ excuse?

    • BrianW

      Not even smart enough to use the “bitches be hackin’ my account” excuse. Sad.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Just a good old boy crying it’s a joke, representing the system like a modern day Sherrif of Nottingham

    • PubOption

      But he did mean harm.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    I’m sure those fifteen days without pay will show him!

  • Michael Smith

    “Officer, I’ve been mugged!”

    “Hmm, you don’t have any bruises or anything.”

    “He pointed a gun at me!”

    “What kind of gun?”

    “I don’t know it was in his pocket.”

    “You didn’t ask to see it?”

    “What? No!”

    “Hmm, alright little mister, it doesn’t sound to me like you were mugged. Sounds to me like you gave someone all of your stuff, and now you are having second thoughts.”

    “What? Why would you think that? That’s ridiculous!”

    “I see it all the time, buddy, I wasn’t born yesterday. Next thing, you’ll be accusing me of robbing you.”

    • jesterpunk

      If they did describe the gun and got one little part wrong their whole story would also be wrong.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      This. Finally, specifically, and precisely this.

  • memzilla Ω

    This is a sheriff who probably has his incident report forms pre-printed with a “she was asking for it” tick box.

    • Bobathonic

      “Describe how she was dressed”

      • Don’t laugh, that’s exactly what SOME people are saying about the woman who accused Senator Franken.

  • OrG

    Hey chief, you are a creepy asshole.
    No sarcasm.
    No joke.
    FUCK YOU.

  • Jezzam

    Reason #1 why my daughter will never travel to Alabama

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    In other words, he’s a pretty typical cop.

  • schmannity

    Does the Killen, Alabama Police Department have a homicide division?

    • theCryptofishist

      In a town of 1,108, maybe not.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Why bother? Dead men are proverbially silent, which is consent.

    • Doug Langley

      Only if Jessica Fletcher moves in.

  • rocktonsam

    another reason to stay out of alabummer.

  • willi0000000

    reading his badge, i’m just glad my name isn’t AL.

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    He’s part of the “degenerate American subculture,” the Alabama conservative. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d3ab85fc9b9550f3c1141d2ef6fd6f8c225b20a94dd2be1c86968524d9bb93c0.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      Yup. Pretty much.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Also, this

  • BadKitty904

    I thought Alabamians approved of this kinda thing?

    • Crystalclear12

      Doing it, not saying it out loud.

      • BadKitty904

        That’s prolly truer than you might think.

  • Bananas Foster

    I’m sure this is all doing wonders for the Alabama tourism industry.

    Come for the racism. Stay for the rape.

    • OrG

      Alabama has a tourism industry?

      • everstar

        Sure does! It encourages you to tour-n around and leave.

        I’ll show myself out.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Mississippians needed a place to experience cosmopolitan sophistication.

  • schmannity

    I blame Sherman’s preference for Savannah over Mobile Bay.

  • arglebargle

    His account was hacked, right?

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Nah, his brain was.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Assumes brains not in evidence.

  • Ergoetal

    Suspended for 15 days?

    Now THAT’S a PC move.

  • Swampay

    Killen? Killen Alabama? Next door to Rapin’ I suppose?

    • Weird Fishes

      “Rapen.” No need to scare folks off.

      • ahughes798

        Pillage Village is just north of there.

        • Weird Fishes

          They have the cutest baskets!

  • Me not sure

    Stop Chief, yer Killen me!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I have to be honest, I expected much worse when I read “rape joke.” Why, but Republican standards, this is practically feminism.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I knew I should have opened with my jay walking material…darn it.”
    — Bryan Hammond

    • schmannity

      Why did the rapist cross the road outside the crosswalk?

      To shake hand with a voter.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Have ya’ll ever noticed how schoolgirls are always jay walkin’? Flashin’ their coltish thighs under them plaid skirts and actin’ all flirty-like? Know why?

      Because they’re evil little sluts, tempting fine thirty-sumpin’ menfolk to they’s doom. That’s why!

      Thank’ee, thank’ee. I got a mill’un of ’em. I’ll be h’yeah all week.

      Try the canned clam cocktails and try the gloryhole out back.

      Don’t forgit to stiff yer waitress, And y’all know what I mean.

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    And then the murders began….

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You misspelled ‘rapes’.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • JohnBull

    You know you’re fucked in the head when every conversation you have includes something about ‘dems.’ This is why normal people NEVER talk to you anymore.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    ” . . . and the picture of the swastika tattoo covering my back was just meant for Facebook friends, stupid dems. And no, it doesn’t mean I’m racist!!!”

  • Oblios_Cap

    Small town police chiefs and county sheriffs run some of the crookedest rackets about. They protect whoever pays them the most and arrests that group’s enemies (and their own), protect their friends and line their pockets while doing it. At least that’s how I see it down here in the South. I doubt it’s a lot different elsewhere. That’s why most well-off people around these parts either contribute to both candidates, just in case.

    • marxalot

      Who ran to catch me when I fell
      Who kissed the place and made it well
      Who would some jolly story tell?
      The chair of the local Board of Magistrates.
      -the Bobby’s creed (as written by P.G. Wodehouse, Brit)

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Sorry to be that guy, but Sheriff is a county elective office. Police Chiefs work for a local police department, and are hired.

    They are not synonyms, in any state, AFAIK.

    • Whollyholeyholy

      This explains my confusion. As a person who lives in a county where the sheriff sucks (we have the guy whose deputies suffocated the man with Down’s syndrome when he didn’t want to leave the movies, and he declined to investigate, but he’s also a Fox News attention whore Arpaio wannabe, investigator of border problems in spite of living up here at the Mason-Dixon border) I was wondering who suspends him, and if a thing can happen, since he’s elected and in charge.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Generally, the Governor can suspend them for cause.

        • Whollyholeyholy

          This is good to know.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I suppose there’s some sort of removal process, but because it’s an elective office, it’s going to be difficult. I can’t remember the last time I heard of a Sheriff being removed from office; police chiefs get fired all the time…

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Thanks! Fixed.

  • Zonath

    I’m sure this guy has probably heard every single “police are pigs” joke, especially with a last name like “Hammond”, and November 11 was just a couple weeks ago so I’ll just ask Mr. Hammond to take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

    • schmannity

      He can become a cheese maker if police work is over.

      Hammond Cheese

      • Oblios_Cap

        That would make him bleu.

        • Pisto75666

          Don’t worry, brie happy!

          • puredog

            That’s a gouda one!

          • Mehmeisterjr

            You’re just stringing us along.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          That’s a camembert-faced lie!

      • yyyaz

        That was wry.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Because Roy Moore was reuben the cradle?

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Edam sure better get used to it!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          You and Judge Moore have a fondumental disagreement.

          • ahughes798

            Moore makes my teeth cheddar.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Winsleydale. That’s my name. Mr. Winseydale.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      With a name like “Hammond,” I’d have expected he’s heard a lot of jokes about organs.

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/27/Hammond_c3_Emilio_Mu%C3%B1oz.jpg

      • schmannity

        He’ll be playing with his organ alone for the foreseeable future.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Just as well. He’s a pedal-phile.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Police Chief Ham Mound reporting for duty!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This man should not be suspended.

    He should be fired.

    WITH VOTES!

  • Bobathonic

    So how many rape kits his department’s backlog?

    • jesterpunk

      All of them?

    • None, they never use them because obviously bitches by lyin’.

    • Bananas Foster

      I think their idea of a rape kit might be more like some pills and a gag…

    • IdiotsforPalin

      A rape kit? in Alabama….AHHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • jesterpunk
  • Juan de Fuca

    I’m surprised that all of this happened on Facebook.

    • JohnC44

      IKR? The FB I know is always such a polite and and welcoming forum of reasoned civil discourse. This is utterly shocking to me. Maybe it’s time to go back to MySpace…my good friend Tom would never let this happen there.

    • Resistor Radio

      That’s what I was thinking. I would totally say something like that with HEAVY sarcasm, all the sarcasms, but not on the tv station’s Facebook page. I probably *have* snarked something like that in here recently, and Christ I sincerely hope people haven’t mentally crucified me for it. Context is key, and if your party is defending a goddamn pedophile, you don’t get to claim you’re being sarcastic.

  • Y’all women are bloody saints for not murdering us men folk in our sleep.

    • Daniel

      Bloody Saints was definitely a seventies heavy rock band from the outskirts of Birmingham.

      • ahughes798

        Sounds like an adult beverage, also too.

  • Run2Live

    Harvey Weinstein’s separated-at-birth twin?

  • Whollyholeyholy

    Fifteen whole days, huh?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Katy Tur reports Roy Moore’s campaign has taken in more than a million dollars over the last ten days. SMH

    • TJ Barke

      Lotta amoral people out there.

      • Anna Rompage

        There’s a sucker born every second?

        A Fool and His Money Are Soon Parted.

        Them damn there people are a few fucking fries short of a happy meal…

        • Bobathonic

          There are more important things than not supporting child molesters. Like money and power.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            “He’d do the same fer me,” they tell themselves. Stupidly.

    • jesterpunk

      “At least he isnt a Democrat” Something said by multiple republicans and voters down there.

      • JohnBull

        No kidding. The people who gave you clean water, public schools, and the weekend. God I hate all that stuff!!!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      That will buy a lot of trips to Cambodia, Thailand, the Dominican Republic, etc.

    • Cat Cafe

      I’d bet that some of that came from Russia. They have such a clear agenda to destroy us it’s hard to believe that people still don’t see it.

  • puredog

    As I observed elsewhere, this guy is clearly a cum laude graduate of the Mike Huckabee School of Humor.

    • JohnBull

      They try their opening act on thehill.com. It’s….well, pretty bad.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    FFS Alabama…everything we joked about is true……..

    • Swampgas_Man

      Well no — we haven’t heard anything about pigs or sheep yet.

      • Sheepshagger

        Officer Cleetus is still trying to beat a confession out of em

      • onedollarjuana

        My college roommate’s Southern friend used to regale us with stories of chickens. True story.

  • Belasaurius

    OT breaking https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/alabama-ex-cop-says-she-was-tasked-with-keeping-roy-moore-away-from-cheerleaders-at-high-school-games/

    Ex cop said she was tasked with keeping Moore away from cheerleaders at games

    • OutOfOrbit

      if this story has legs …

      • Covfefe

        Sis, Boom, Bang

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The apologists will find a way to say that the woman must be lying.

    • Sheepshagger

      What did she do, put her hair in pigtails and trail a bookbag to lure him away?

      • Resistor Radio

        Sounds like you’re describing the eighties movie “Angel.”

  • MOG253

    #SHAME

  • calliecallie

    Killen, Alabama, you’re killin’ me.

  • marxalot

    How far is Killen, AL from Cousinfucker, AL? Asking for a friend working on a map.

    • Zach Williams

      Why, it’s just a few miles down that way, yew just go and git on the highway and you’ll git there!
      Don’t go speedin’ though, or else yew’ll be lookin’ fer to be pulled over!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        “Don’t tell me how goddam fast I can drive” – Judge Jeanine Pirro.

        • Resistor Radio

          “I was exercising my first amendment right to free speech by driving 120 mph, you snowflakes.”

    • Bob

      Just across the border from Sissytouch AR, where the Duggars live

  • Belasaurius
  • IdiotsforPalin

    From the “you can’t make this shit up” catagory:
    Pro-Roy Moore Minister: He Went After Teens Because Older Women Were All Married

    by Justin Baragona | 1:56 pm, November 21st, 2017

    -snip-

    Speaking to hosts Matt Murphy and Andrea Lindenberg of the radio show Matt & Aunie, Benham — who recently appeared at a rally of religious leaders defending Moore — indicated that the reason Moore pursued teenage girls when he was in his 30s was that all the other women were taken.

    -snip-

    “Judge Roy Moore graduated from West Point and then went on into the service, served in Vietnam and then came back and was in law school,” Benham said. “All of the ladies, or many of the ladies that he possibly could have married, were not available then, they were already married, maybe, somewhere.”

    The conservative Christian stated Moore looked in “a different direction,” claiming that it was always with the permission of the “parents of the younger ladies.” After noting that Moore’s current wife, Kayla, was a young woman when they got married, Benham said that Moore went that route “because there is something about a purity of a young woman, there is something that is good, that’s true, that’s straight and he looked for that.”

    Apparently, Benham was unaware that Kayla Moore was divorced when she wed Roy Moore, leading to the two hosts telling him. After the hosts highlighted that Benham’s “purity” argument regarding a potential mate was undercut due to the divorce fact, the minister decided to pivot to asking whether it was OK for a grown man to date a 14-year-old if he received the parents’ consent. And, yeah, Benham indicated he thought it was cool.

    At that point, the hosts and Benham engaged in a heated back-and-forth over whether he thought it would be acceptable if the girl was ten years old but her parents consented to her dating an adult man. Eventually, after deflecting for a while, Benham said that would be inappropriate.

    https://www.mediaite.com/online/pro-roy-moore-minister-he-went-after-teens-because-older-women-were-all-married/

    • Michael Smith

      No joke as soon as I finished reading this, Spotify started playing Don’t Stand So Close to Me by the Police.

      Skip.

    • Pisto75666

      Is there any way to keep these people OFF the airwaves? You’d think the phrase “pro-Roy Moore” would be a definite red flag.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Everytime someone says something pro-Roy Moore, a demon gets its wings. Does that count as a red flag?

        • Pisto75666

          I’m not sure. Most of the R’s ARE demons already so, I don’t think that counts.

    • Relativicus

      Pastor Benham explains the earliest age at which children can date adult men:

      https://youtu.be/Ag6DtzRUF5U

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Them draft dodgers done snapped up all the womenfolk!”

    • Covfefe

      How many of us went to Vietnam, only to come back and hit on 14-year-olds.

      • Sheepshagger

        The Nuge cut out the middle man.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          The Donald, too.

        • ahughes798

          No, I think the ‘Nuge basically bought the rights to the underage girl from her parents. He “adopted” her, or something like that?

          • Parakeetist

            Yeah.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I’m sure that Judge Roy comported himself as a perfect gentleman among the young ladies schoolgirls of Veet’nam.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          He was probably too tired (from sleeping on sandbags because the men under his command kept threatening to frag him) to do much courtin’.

    • Sheepshagger

      “At that point, the hosts and Benham engaged in a heated back-and-forth over whether he thought it would be acceptable if the girl was ten years old but her parents consented to her dating an adult man. Eventually, after deflecting for a while, Benham said that would be inappropriate.”

      “I know what I’m supposed to say. Brain, don’t fuck this up”

    • Paperless Tiger

      It’s still adultery, Mr. Ten Commandments. Go to Hell.

    • onedollarjuana

      I call BS on this story. In the South (as for everywhere else, for that matter) marriage status has little bearing on who will do whom if the hormones are raging. I think Moore just likes them young.

      • Sheepshagger

        No no no! He was so moral and christian that he abhorred adultery. So he just molested kids instead.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      “…there is something about a purity of a young woman, there is something that is good, that’s true, that’s straight and he looked for that.”
      That sentence actually turns my stomach.

      • Lord Jim

        Better start checking this guy’s closet.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Crawl-space basement and hard drive.

          • Lord Jim

            B to the I to the N-G-O.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I do hope the fbi task force is paying attention.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Another one whose hard drive should be checked out.

      • Parakeetist

        Yeah

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          They wont because religious right.

  • marxalot

    Y’know, when we say “silence is complicity,” this isn’t what we mean.

  • WilbyToad

    New York Attorney General investigating false ‘net neutrality’ comments to FCC

    REUTERS

    New York State Attorney Eric Schneiderman on Tuesday said he has been investigating for six months who posted significant numbers of fake comments filed with the Federal Communications Commission in its review of net neutrality rules.

    The FCC got more than 22 million comments during its review and several researchers found evidence that significant numbers of submissions were fake.

    Schneiderman said Tuesday the “FCC has refused multiple requests for crucial evidence.”

    The FCC did not immediately comment.

    On Tuesday FCC Chairman Ajit Pai proposed reversing the Obama era net neutrality rules.

    There is so much general outrage stirred up by this Administration that it’s hard to get people focused (in this case, refocused) on saving net neutrality. Once gone, it will be nearly impossible to regain no matter who is President or which party controls Congress. It ain’t like flipping a switch.

    Wonkette needs this (or any) alert posted on site:

    https://www.battleforthenet.com/

  • Mormos

    Alabama: The South’s South

    • guppy06

      Mississippi must be feeling pretty good about itself right about now…

      • sarafina

        And Georgia and Arkansas…not to mention the Carolinas…

    • Unclejeems

      Hey, let’s give a shout out for Oklahoma . . .

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    Even more than they long to re-enslave black people, cons want to legalize rape in every instance and circumstance, and to publicly torture and execute any woman who alleges rape.

    • Cat Cafe

      It’s subtler, but their “anti-abortion” stance is also nothing but a cover for “we want to control and punish women, have sex with them whenever we want, however we want, and make sure they have no control over their own bodies.”

  • 52camellias

    In the name of sweet mercy, why on earth did Roy Moore have a public career? Lying, cheating, adulterous politicians can be found slithering around any state legislature — why did Alabama like the hardcore pedophile so much?

    • onedollarjuana

      Cuz he’s an upright Christian!

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        maybe a little too upright, IYKWIMAITYD.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        But he’d prefer to be a prone Christian.

    • Jennifer R

      Because Alabama is Christian Taliban territory.

    • therblig

      softcore pedophiles lack the dedication that alabamans admire.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Child bride patriarchal culture?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      What, and let the Democrats win?

    • guppy06

      They liked what he said.

    • Cat Cafe

      It’s becoming more and more publicly clear: this is a FEATURE, not a bug. The “religious right” is a child-abusing, white male supremacy hate cult. We have all sensed this, but they now apparently feel confident enough, in the era of Trump, to just express it openly. Those “father-daughter purity balls”? Kim Jones? The “pastors” who in fact are child abusers? The Duggars? Their whole insistence that women should not have bodily autonomy, which is all that their grotesquely mis-named “pro life” stance is about? These are terrible, terrible people.

      • ginmar

        Keep in mind, these are people who attack Muslims for supposedly approving child rape.

        • Cat Cafe

          They just have it on the mind, I guess. Projection.

      • Donna Mueller

        FUNDIES in the freakin’ bible belt. it’s not about faith, it’s about money and power, especially over women. it looks like fascism because it is, religion is only the thin veil they pull over it to excuse their actions. much the same as the repukes like ryan point to ayn rand to excuse their sociopathic greed.

        • Unclejeems

          Sadly, for many of them, it is about faith. But for many of their leaders, so-called “pastors” and “ministers” and other “men of god,” and the occasional “prophetess,” it has become all about money and power. They take advantage of those simple folk who really want to believe, and guide them down the path of religious fascism. There is passage after passage in their holy writ that points them in exactly the opposition direction, but it’s just easier to follow the leader. In my view, the corrupt leadership has led their own people out of the American promised land and back into the wilderness.

          It hasn’t always been this way. I was raised in the Southern Baptist Church–albeit in California–and the ministry at that time carefully avoided politics. Of course, there was fulsome condemnation of the “social gospel” and other “liberal” themes. But any preacher who raised the banner of partisanship in the worship service would soon find himself out of a job.

          The sad truth is, that the organization of Southern Baptists, the main fundy denomination of the south, has become centralized. Pastors and denominational leaders have gained authority over what was once a very democratic organization, and that authority has corrupted them. It was once a matter of doctrine that the power center of that church was the congregation. But the fundies took over the Southern Baptist Convention, and this generation of Baptists always looks to their pastor or denomination officers, for “leadership.”

          That change, coupled with the rise of the Republican Party in the South, has given birth to a monstrous religious doctrine. It condemns the best impulses of its people, calls down the fury of the Almighty on the political “enemies” of the church/party, and defends to the last ditch the corrupt leadership and the corruption they spread. And Roy Moore, I’m afraid, is just the tip of the iceberg . . .

          • Dudleydidwrong

            This! The Southern Baptists were at one time (and within my lifetime) vehement in their desire to stay away from politics, government, and anything that would interfere with that separation of church and state. But as the denomination became more centralized and gained political power they began to attract people who saw the Baptists as an expression of their social and economic views rather than their religious faith. The Southern Baptists of today are a hideous, twisted shell of what they once were.

          • unclejeems

            Amen! Most Baptists have no knowledge of the powerful stance their ancestors took against the combination of church and state. They would do well to remember the words of Jefferson, in his letter to the Danbury Baptists: ” . . . religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions . . . “

        • Cat Cafe

          100%

    • Mavenmaven

      Because he upholds the Ten Commandments! Now if they were 20 commandments, he’d be less interested.

      • Roadstergal

        Ugh, I laughed and threw up at the same time.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Because Jesus.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    “Can’t make this shit up…Part II:

    Alabama ex-cop says she was tasked with keeping Roy Moore away from cheerleaders at high school games
    Brad Reed BRAD REED
    21 NOV 2017 AT 12:53 ET

    A retired Alabama police officer told MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell on Tuesday that she had to keep an eye on Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore in the 1980s at local high school football games because he would regularly harass the team’s teenage cheerleaders.

    Faye Gary, who for 37 years was an officer at the Gadsden Police Department, explained to Mitchell that Moore’s reputation for pursuing underage girls was widely known throughout the community.

    “We were also told to watch him at the ballgames, and make sure that he didn’t, you know, hang around with the cheerleaders,” said Gary.

    Gary also said she learned that Moore had been barred from entering the local shopping mall because he had been “harassing” young women who worked there.

    Moore faces multiple allegations that he inappropriately pursued teenage girls when he was in his 30s, including allegations from two women that Moore tried to force them to have sexual contact with him when they were both under the age of consent.

    • Brian Fowler

      Why didn’t they just arrest him?

      • Sheepshagger

        Let’s see now……

        • Brian Fowler

          I’m sorry I asked a stupid question. It just seemed to me that somewhere along the line between 1980 and now, someone would have thought protecting him was more trouble that it was worth.

          Is Moore from a powerful family in Alabama? Is he the son of a former Governor/Senator?

          • Sheepshagger

            Vietnam vet DA with serious religious connects. Alabama royalty.

          • blaid droog

            It’s more along the lines of the good old boys taking care of each other.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        County jail would have been a good place to keep him away from young girls.

        • beatbort

          Burt then he might be around bad influences like Otis Campbell and take to drinkin’

        • blaid droog

          You do mean locking up the girls for their own protection, right ?

      • Mr. White

        Because being skeevy isn’t a crime.

      • guppy06

        Lack of prosecutable crimes and lack of prosecutors who would even if there was.

      • Teen complaintant takes on da….
        Yeah that be why

    • Stulexington

      This is so fucking depressing. This shit was going on for decades, the police were trying to do their job and protect people and yet none of this came out. Not one fucking peep! His political opponents never bothered to use this shit and you know why? Because they didn’t think it would do any damage. The dude got banned from the mall for being a teen chasing perv and his opponents never thought to use it against him.

      Seriously what the fuck is wrong with people???!!

      • blaid droog

        The police, when they aren’t abusing their authority, just work at maintaining the status quo.

    • Parakeetist

      Oh shit vomit vomit vomit

    • blaid droog

      I think he’s a fool if his campaign doesn’t embrace this shit. It’s exactly what alabama voters expect from their public servants.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    That was sarcasm…

    This is also sarcasm: You can totally say that stuff and still keep your public service job!

  • Mr. White

    I for one am for building a wall around Alabama. A big, beautiful wall…

    • Stulexington

      And Alabama is gonna pay.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    The Police Chief will have time to think about what he did and DELETE HIS ACCOUNT!.

  • beatbort

    Doug Jones is a celebrated trial lawyer. Doug Jones might, I hope, be considering a very winnable slander lawsuit that will take the town of Melonhead, or wherever the fuck this guy has been hired as “sherf”, to the cleaners.

  • Mavenmaven

    He and Huckabee should take their comedy routines on the road! On a road far away from the rest of us!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      A reboot of those old Bob Hope/Bing Crosby Road movies. We can send them on a fact-finding mission to all the spots in the world under Sharia law, and then not let them back in. They’ll probably feel right at home anyway.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    After reading all these stories about the places where Roy Moore went to find underage girls to harass, it has occurred to me that I led a very sheltered life when I was young. When I was in high school in the early 70’s, we didn’t have a mall, and we didn’t work at local restaurants or stores because there were 3 universities in my town and all the college kids got all the restaurant and retail jobs. I didn’t hang out at football games, and I wasn’t in the cheerleader clique. This makes me wonder where the adult male perverts went in my town in the 70’s to find underage girls. Did they hang out at the library? The movie theaters? McDonald’s? There must have been an undercurrent somewhere, but I never suspected a thing.

    • blaid droog

      The answer is so obvious. They hung out at xtian youth groups. Or the YWCA.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        We didn’t have a YMCA, but we did have a lot of Xtian youth groups. We also had the infamous “The Old Un” adult movie theater, and it was 1 block from Main Street. My mother told me to always walk on the other side of the street when I walked down that block, but she wouldn’t tell me why.

  • goonemeritus

    “To Protect and Serve” – the patriarchy.

  • Lefty Wright

    The REAL victims of all this are the Christians in Alabama.

    Honestly, the real Christians are somewhat of a victim in this, with all the alt-christians siding with the child molester and co-opting that title. Not as big a victim as the women who are abused, but for the people that really live the spirit of Jesus, having it used to support the Republican messages of hate, love of money, and ignoring the sins and corruption of politicians has got to hurt.

    • Kooolest G

      I’m sure both of the real Christians left in Alabama are broken up about it. (Actually there are probably lots of real Christians in Alabama, they’re all at the black church)

      • Ill-Advised

        Damn straight. Sat for hours yesterday listening to a friend who was nearly in tears at what she had to put up with from “Christians” — and she is a Christian of color. And she’s a strong light for goodness and truth.

        She needs a black church.

        • blaid droog

          She needs to kick that white mans religion to the curb and embrace a real religion like kwanzaa.

      • blaid droog

        Never have understood why black people embrace massas religion in the first place. I have never understood why anyone embraces any of that stupid shit. Give me Mary Poppins any day.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Imagine you are on a strange planet after being kidnapped and enslaved. You suss out that one way to ease your wretched life is to adopt the dominate religion which, ironically, acknowledges some value of your being (soul) to the Creator, thus slightly making your life easier with the believer Masters, provided you play along. If you continue to play along, you defacto become part of their system and of more value and less likely to be murdered out of hand.
          Also too, your children adopting the system protects them. You may be slaves, but by golly you’re not godless heathens. Who are just killed out right.
          Makes perfect sense.

          My question is, why did they stick with it after abolition?

          The answer is probably “something something, respectability” with a side of community.

          • FiveAcres

            Plus, in the post-reconstruction South, church was the only place that black people could congregate with some degree of safety. I say some degree, because there were plenty of atrocities committed on people at black churches.

          • Calli Arcale

            Why did they stick with it after abolition? Well, the same reason white people do, to be honest — because it’s the only religion they knew growing up. And that was certainly intentional on the part of their old masters, who saw it as their duty to these poor, childlike savages*…..

            You might as well ask why Native Americans predominantly speak English. Even voluntary immigrants lose all but a few token cultural touchstones in three generations. African Americans were in forced servitude for a lot longer than that — long enough to utterly destroy any other religious or cultural practices they may have known before, even if the white slaveowners hadn’t been overtly working to stamp out any African traditional practices that remained. What’s more, people from all sorts of different African cultures were being dumped together and forced to work together, while families were being deliberately broken up. Some of that was for expedience, but I believe there was an intentional component too — keep them apart, and their traditional practices can’t easily be reinforced by sharing. And so those practices die, and their children pick up whatever they’re exposed to, and the slaveowners would see to it that it was Christianity.

            Most of them remained Christian, yes. They were raised as believers, after all. For most people, your religion is a lot like your language; it’s something you grow up with.

            .

            *Aside: once upon a time, conversion to Christianity meant mandatory
            release from servitude. The idea was that slavery could be ethically justified as a means to save souls. It was around the time of the Revolution that
            things were shifting to a *racial* basis for slavery. This is often blamed on new findings about
            evolution, but the truth is much more banal — around the time Americans
            started to make servitude dependent on African heritage and to see a
            divine mission in “caring for” Africans and
            Christianizing them, other countries were banning slavery altogether,
            eventually putting a halt to the transatlantic slave trade. IOW, the
            American innovation of slavery as a condition of racial heritage was a
            response to the loss of an important supply chain — making servitude dependent on race meant you could ensure a steady supply of slaves by breeding the ones you already had, and it meant you wouldn’t lose any to Christianity. The evolutionary and
            theological arguments came later, purely for the sake of
            justification. It was, at its heart, all about money. Today, we still face the repercussions of that. Although the financial motivations have been largely destroyed with the abolution of slavery, the justifications for slavery have endured.

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      “the real Christians”

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      “the real Klingons.”

      • Vacuous Virgina

        The real McCoys 😉😉😉

    • sillyclucker

      Then they to speak up often and loudly. Louder than the “fake Christians”. Otherwise, everyone will think they’re all alike.

      • Indeniable Ron

        They don’t speak up because Yeshua said not to. He said that they should demonstrate their faith by doing good, quietly, so that is what they do. (I know quite a number of them.)
        The poor guy never imagined that his teachings would be co-opted by the sorts of people he railed about so often.

        • sillyclucker

          They shouldn’t be surprised then, when others co-op the name of their religion and use it for their own purposes.

  • Peter Walford

    “Killen, Alabama” … you made that up (Shirley).

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      It’s not made up. And don’t call me Shirley.

      • blueeyedcuban

        Can I be Ernest?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Brian Fowler

      Please don’t taint this song by associating it with Paul Ryan.

    • C4TWOMAN

      The Who and Limpt Bizket libelz

  • Daniel Hooper

    So, if this sheriff is O.K. with this, “Silence is consent” idea, then I’m sure he’d say something if I suggested he should immediately be fired and put in stocks for us to point and laugh at.

    …He’s not saying no…

  • Spurning Beer

    “Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly, and left to die?

    “When she finally wakes up, she tries to speak. She reaches over to her doctor who leans in and feebly asks, ‘Where is that magnificent ape?'”

    John McCain, ladies and gentlemen! Give him a big hand!

    • Parakeetist

      Oh shit

    • blaid droog

      Or this. A black woman is brutally raped by an escaped gorilla. A couple days later a friend comes to vist at the hospital. Oh girl, is you hurtin? To which the answer is; Is I hurtin? Hell yes, I’s hurtin. He don’t call, he don’t write. He don’t come to visit.

      • Calli Arcale

        Oh god, I didn’t think it was possible, but that one’s even worse.

    • Calli Arcale

      *shudders* Yeah, that’s the biggest problem. Positions of leadership in this country are utterly *infested* with the notion that this stuff is normal. That jokes like that are somehow funny.

  • chronozoan

    But according to Chris Matthews and The Sally Quinn Brigade democrats should work harder at reaching out to these people

  • Delu

    “Silence is consent”?

    Oh wait, THAT’S the line that a Hillary Hater used over at MJ when it said that because Clinton recused herself from an investigation, she was actually CONSENTING to the alleged “crime” the investigation was being held on because……well because her silence! Consent!

    Funny how this and pleading the 5th come up so often when the target is not Trumpian or hated by Trumpians but not otherwise.

  • Thomas McCabe

    These people think In The Heat of the Night is a training video.

  • Red Herring

    Fuck them all

  • Stulexington

    That was humour. A joke. An indication that he finds this shit funny. A demand we allow this shit to continue to be normal. Maintaining a hiding place of monsters by insisting honest people say the same shit. You give the monsters camouflage with this shit and we’re sick of it.

    No more. “It’s just a joke” is the refuge of monsters who get caught. Normal, innocent people do not joke about rape, that’s a thing monsters do. Don’t want to be treated like a monster? Stop talking like one.

  • At the crossroads, stay strong

    What gets me is that numbnuts like this more than likely would not be making moranic jokes if it were there wife or daughter who had been violated. That would mean using logic and thinking, which is sooooooooo hard for these types. Really makes their brain hurt.

  • phoenix00

    Strange how Bryan Hammond isn’t intimately acquainted with this set of rights:
    http://attorneyboyd.com/images/miranda_card.jpg

    • Calli Arcale

      Heh; reminds me of Shrek telling Donkey, “You have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.”

  • sillyclucker

    Haha. Like he has any friends.

  • blaid droog

    They need to work on that badge. It looks like it’s sayin’ “killen all”. If you wanna die just come to killen cause we’s killen everybody.

  • Zyxomma

    He’s disgusting, unfunny, and should be dismissed, not given 15 days off. Killermartinis is my shero!

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    He shouldn’t be dismissed for the tweets. He should be dismissed for thinking the way he does in the position that he has.

    And for fucks sake…he is a dead ringer for Harvey Weinstein. Jesus…

  • major_asshole

    I am a survivor of child sex abuse. Between Roy Moore, Trump, and this idiot, my therapist is getting one hell of a workout when I see her.

    It is NOT a fucking joke to have someone violate your most sacred place. It is NOT a fucking joke for someone to forcibly assault you, humiliate you, and make you live with what happened. For years–YEARS–I blamed myself, then repressed the memory, tried my damnedest to make it all go away. 17 years later, I still bear the shame of what happened despite there logically being no shame on my part.

    Fuck this piece of shit. And fuck anyone who thinks like he does.

  • Ami

    Alabama- the state of racists, pedophiles, religious Rightwingnuts and stupid misogynistic cops.

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