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The moment you became straight

Are you so gay right now? Thank God, you have come to the right place to get that fixed!

MassResistance is one of the weirdest anti-gay hate groups out there. What it lacks in influence, it makes up in silliness. The group considered the Obama administration’s push to curb anti-gay violence around the world “cultural terrorism.” Its leader, Brian Camenker, believes gay-bashing victims only get bashed because they’re asking for it by being flagrantly gay, and he also believes gay people are bad at sports because gays don’t have the “stability” or “alertness” to be good at sports.

Also, MassResistance just released a 600-PAGE book about the joy of gay sex how gay sex is dirty and bad and EWWWWWW GROSS, so it’s not like they’re fixated or anything.

Media Matters reports that MassResistance just had a conference on “Countering the LGBT Agenda,” and we think you’ll agree that if nothing has convinced you to wash that dick right outta your hair yet (or the lady parts, if you are a lez), this video, which the emcee introduces as a “song thing,” will do the trick. It is interpretive dance! There is a rainbow flag! Oh just watch, you silly gay homosexual:

Are you unable to watch the video? That’s OK, because we made you a .gif of the most important, life-changing moment. It comes at 1:28, when, the ARTIST!, after some general gay-flitting around with the pretty rainbow flag with Jesus-y music playing about how “love keeps no record of wrong,” does this:

THAT IS THE SHIT RIGHT THERE. IT IS “LET IT GO” FOR THE “EX-GAY” CROWD!

No, literally, the first words of the chorus are “Let it go.” We cannot make this shit up.

To be fair, we can see how that would ward the gay demons away.

You could watch the full video, but that moment at 1:28 is definitely the premature climax. The rest of it is kind of …

The song is by a Christian singer named Matthew West, who seems to do some very catchy Jesus music, the kind that sounds like a soundtrack for a night of sexxxy romance with the Messiah. We do not know whether or not West signed off on having his music used for this, which we can only describe as “color-guarding away the gay.” It works, though. Obviously.

Now go forth and enjoy your newfound heterosexuality. Just be glad you didn’t have to spend all your money on a conversation therapy camp where they de-gay you by forcing you to fondle horses. That is definitely a scam, unlike this, which is legit.

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[Media Matters]

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  • Daniel

    Putting the “fundament” back into “fudamentalism”.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Well, it already had the “mental” part down pat.

      • Daniel

        Dammit! I’ve just realised “putting the ‘amen’ back into ‘fundament’ ” would have been better.

  • msanthropesmr

    Wtf?

  • Daniel

    Serious question: what was this supposed to achieve?

    • msanthropesmr

      Profit?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Release. Spiritual release.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, I jizzed. And I’m not even gay.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Somebody had to volunteer to for the “mock gay people” part of the show, and thisguy volunteered.

    • BearGHAZI

      As in the wild, this colorful and boastful display will surely attract a female, and ensure his genetic proliferation

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I think it was supposed to make you want Jesus inside you. Deep inside you.

  • Mpeg
  • DrBigHead

    So I was wondering, do these people even enjoy seeing rainbows anymore, or is that a sign of, well, you know…..

    • WIDTAP

      God’s promise not to ass-fuck the whole world again.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Technically, it was his promise not drown the world again. It’ll be the fire next time.

  • msanthropesmr

    I think they’re doing it wrong. I don’t feel any more or less gay after watching. But we am really confused.

    • Crystalclear12

      And we know confusion leads to.

      • clairence

        an easily manipulated individual

  • PubOption

    Does ‘gay people are bad at sports’ include Lesbians?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      “In women’s tennis, I always bet against the heterosexual.”

    • OneYieldRegular

      When I was in my early teens and my sister was 11 or 12, we were invited to a dinner with a family who were playing local host to an 18-year-old Czech tennis player who’d just defected to the U.S. Her name was Martina Navratilova.

      For some reason, my soon-to-be-a-major-lesbian sister became obsessed with tennis that same evening.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I thought MassResistance is when you need more lube.

    • Bobathonic

      That might be AssResistance.

      • data_ninja

        And when you need more lure is BassResistance!

  • proudgrampa

    What is WRONG with these people?

    • jesterpunk

      Is it everything? Because I am going to go with everything.

    • TJ Barke

      They think their god gives them permission to control everyone else’s lives.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Their “god” being a long-haired hippie who loved his mama, hung out with a dozen guys, and was a feminist who stopped a capital slut-shaming in progress.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Well, that was a long time ago. If he were still around, he’d be just like Mike Pence by now, I’m sure.

          • Mark Lungo

            Here’s the thing: their god give the permission to control the lives of people they don’t like. If it’s someone they do like, such as Roy Moore, then they have permission to make stupid excuses for any hurtful shit he does. Logic!

      • proudgrampa

        TJ, I think you’re right.

    • theCryptofishist

      Hitler?

  • canes_pugnaces

    I think I saw his act in the East Village about ten years ago, as part of raunchy burlesque show. However he was wearing leather and a strap-on, as I recall. But everything else was exactly the same. He went by the name of Mistress Pudding.

  • TakingAmes

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  • Zonath

    Since when did doing rhythmic gymnastics ever make anyone less gay?

  • ManchuCandidate

    The real life Fundie version of the French Mistake from Blazing Saddles?

    • theCryptofishist

      Stick out your tush!

    • Blanche de Shambles

      “Have you got it?”

      “Yessssss!”

      “Sounds like steam escaping.”

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • MynameisBlarney
  • Mary Theresa

    The Gay Agenda penetrated the MassResistance and it was fabulous.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      There’s not enough Elbow Grease in the whole wide world.

  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    If y’all haven’t read the excerpts from the book, y’all need to.

    Uh, just not at work.

    http://www.healthhazardsofhomosexuality.info/excerpts.html

    • Mary Theresa

      • Heterosexual and bisexual women (and some self-identifying lesbians) are engaging in anal intercourse with men in increasing numbers.

      I guess they had to fill up 600 pages with something.

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        The CDC does not describe the typical “gay” practices, so we had to turn to “gay” websites and books for a better understanding.
        A 1979 survey by homosexual authors, The Gay Report, showed:

        … the percentage of gay men who engaged in the following practices:
        99% oral sex, 91% anal sex, 82% rimming (anilingus), 22% fisting, 23%
        golden showers (urination on another), 4% scat (defecation on another).
        The book’s two authors were of same-sex sexual attraction.

        This would be hilarious if they weren’t so damn serious.

        • Zonath
          • mailman27

            That guy waited about a minute too long to get the children out of the room.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          “The Gay Report”? That can’t be a real thing. That sounds like the title of a Comedy Central spinoff of the Daily Show hosted by gay comedians. “Now here it is, your moment of Liza.”

          • major_asshole

            Damnit no. I demand my moment of Barbra.

        • major_asshole

          Christ alive. Maybe the CDC doesn’t describe “typical” gay practices because those practices are not in and of themselves unhealthy or disease-related?

  • Crystalclear12

    Yeah, yeah, they definitely doing it wrong.
    *goes back to silently judging ignorant bigots*

  • Timothy Watson

    Were closet cases always this flagrant?

    • BearGHAZI

      “Confirmed bachelors” used to restrict themselves to their CPAC hotel rooms, but these days….

  • exinkwretch

    Pro tip: When you’re cooking for Thanksgiving, be sure to chop or crush your garlic, because mincing is gay as hell.

    • jesterpunk

      What if I bought already minced garlic in a jar?

      • exinkwretch

        You probably bought canned clams, too! Monster!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Canned GHEY clams.

          • Oblios_Cap

            YOU GAY MONSTER!

      • ((( Augustus )))

        Gay

        Super gay

  • Pollos Hermanos
    • msanthropesmr

      The moustache parade!

    • Raan

      “You do this every year! We are used to it!”

    • data_ninja

      “Wave to brunch, Maggie!”

  • Zonath
  • jesterpunk
  • What. The. Actual. Fuck. This has to have been a joke on the pray-away-the-gay crowd.

    • OneYieldRegular

      The only thing missing is Randy Rainbow singing the song.

  • Nounverb911
    • dslindc

      Try more gum.

  • TJ Barke

    This has to be a joke…

  • dslindc

    I certainly feel something, but it’s not less gay.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The kid reports continuing bisexuality.

  • sillyclucker

    I think that video just made me gay.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Someone somewhere checks off one item from the Gay Agenda.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        -buy gay milk
        -go to gay post office
        -pick up gay kids from gay soccer (redundant)

    • BearGHAZI

      You’ll get your pancakes in the mail

      • Jeffery Campbell

        And your starter kit: Ethel Merman’s Gypsy, Benadette Peters’ Gypsy, Patti Lupone’s Gypsy, Rosalind Russell’s Gypsy, Imelda Staunton’s Gypsy, and Bette Midler’s Gypsy, and Pez.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          And a too-small sample of lube.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Is this part of the Chrstian Right’s bizarre attempt to reclaim the Rainbow from us Evil Gays? You guys arent helping your argument here.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I think this is where Alex Jones got his gay frog conspiracy theory from.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2DTLbTQj0I

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I still want to make a meme of AJ and the gay frogs.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Maybe they’re trying to reclaim the word ‘queer’.

    • OneYieldRegular

      They even left out yellow.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I thought there was some thing wrong about those flags, but I couldn’t nail it down. I must not be ghey.

  • Suttree

    I’m not sure that I have ever seen anything gayer than this. And I have done drugs in the bathroom at Rawhide in the French Quarter.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I’ve never seen anything gayer than this and I’ve participated in the napkin toss to “Love is in the Air” at Cafe Lafitte in Exile’s Sunday Trash Disco.

      • Suttree

        Haha! So you know exactly what I’m talking about!

        My friends always did a lot of blocking for me. I usually had a gay guy on one side and my transvestite friend on the other and my girlfriend one my lap. It was a huge puddle of love! But sometimes when you went to the bathroom, you were on your own.

    • major_asshole

      Jesus. And I thought I was gay for enjoying the show in the lavatory.

      I have much to learn.

    • Paul

      Rush? :)

      • Suttree

        Psshhhhaaa. That was what we did in high school in New Hampshire.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Must. Resist. Urge. To decoupage…

  • Daniel

    So, did he just not realise how this looks?

    • Indeniable Ron

      If they had any kind of self-awareness they’d be in another line of work entirely.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I CALL CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!!!

  • Ricky Gay

    La Cage aux Fool

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    I’m not even gay but this group is an embarrassment to Massachusetts. Bryan Fisher is one of the assholes who architected the Ugandan “Kill the Gays” laws. That he got more than 0% of the vote here for governor last time around still troubles me.

  • Karen Marie

    If I hadn’t been told in advance, I would have thought both those guys were totally gay. In fact, I still believe that they are.

  • Is this like bullfighting, but with gay demons? Can we perhaps expect to see someone gored by gay demon peener?

  • Oblios_Cap

    That certainly seemed gay. The conversion took away his sense of rhythm, though.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    I think they got punked by a guy with a great ass.

  • BearGHAZI

    I’m a man who likes sex with men, but some stuff is too gay

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Invisible Bunyip

    I had a (very brief) look at the book. They can’t seem to use the word ‘lesbian’ without saying ‘self-identified lesbian’.

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but is there any other kind? I’m picturing someone with a big rubber stamp going along a line and stamping ‘LESBIAN’ of random foreheads.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      They don’t believe lesbians really exist. They think they’re just brainwashed feminist man-haters who need “corrective rape,” in order to be brought back to their God-given natural desire for pricks with dicks.

      • Shanzcrazy

        Gah! These are the people I need to keep away from my daughter.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          This is a bigly thing among the MRA crowd. It’s also a thing that either Moore or someone associated with Moore attempted to do to a 13-year-old lesbian (or “curious”) teenage couple (I think it was written about here in a recent article; there’s been so many of these garbage men articles I can’t keep track at this point). Abuse them, then if they told anyone they’d be “outed” to their parents and get punished and shunned by not only their families but the whole community. Basically a form of blackmail.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            That was a huge problem with DADT. A lot of women didn’t report rape because they’d be accused of being lesbians.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or is it dicks with pricks? I’m so confused, just like all those lesbians!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          whynotboth.jpg

      • Ms.Moon

        I do alot of reading and one of the things that I have seen time and time again is that women are just more flexible in terms of their sexuality. It may have something to do with women making emotional connections than gender or something like that. I have met lesbians, I have met gay men and they’re just people. I don’t think much about what other people get up to but I have a life and I just want other people to live happy fulfilled lives. These people need to find something productive to do with their time I wonder if they have ever tried gardening, growing things is a good way to keep oneself occupied.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          I think it may be simpler. If boys/men weren’t terrified of being assaulted, ostracized, and harassed for appearing the tiniest bit “gay”, they’d probably be more flexible about their sexuality.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I dated my friend Lesa who is from Kentucky. After we broke up she ended up moving back there to care for her dying mom. Her brother got drunk and tried to “screw her straight.” She whacked him with a frying pan and bought a gun the next day. Some of those bad stereotypes have a basis in reality.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Ellen Page was a Raner-identified lesbian. https://www.facebook.com/EllenPage/posts/10155212835577449

    • WIDTAP

      ‘Self-identified lesbian’ preserves their privilege of imprimatur by questioning the sexuality of anyone, straight or gay. It’s a control thing.

      • Mary Theresa

        In their chapter on anal sex, they lumped lesbians in a group of females who have anal sex with men.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I see they know nothing about how this “sex” thing works.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      You’d think the Subaru would be enough.

      • Oblios_Cap

        And the flannel shirts.

  • Mavenmaven

    This is like sophisticated theater for the Trump voter, soon to be mandatory halfgame performance at all major sports ball events.

  • Covfefe

    1. Unless you’re an old, who never has watched a rock n roll video in his or her entire life, you can’t even classify this video as bizarre. All or almost all rock n roll videos are substantially worse.

    2. I cannot find either a pro or anti gay message in this video. But I still don’t think it reaches the level of bizarre.

    3. If someine thinks this is supposed to be anti-gay, I feel someone is projecting.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Rock and Roll videos have been around for quite awhile, you young whippersnapper.

    • sillyclucker

      I find it bizarre considering their agenda. And hilarious.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s like when we were in 7th grade and we would do snow dances to make snow days happen. Totally woulda worked if we’d had those flags.

  • Indiepalin

    NOT TODAY, SATAN!

  • mailman27

    The only thing those flags are missing is the staff.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      iswydt

  • Villago Delenda Est

    These people need to be put into cages, and left there to rot.

    • BearGHAZI

      Fabulous cages?

    • Bobathonic

      A cage for crazies?

  • BearGHAZI

    I understand their need to be closet cases, but do they have to flaunt it so? Where children might be watching?

  • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

    Uhmmmm….. yeah.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Listen, I’ve been what I consider “super” gay, for nearly 60 years, and I have never, ever, matched the level of “gay” in that video. And that includes the disco years when I was sweating to Donna Summer, in roller skates, with a giant fan, a whistle around my neck, and a bottle of Rush permanently affixed to my nostril.

    • Shanzcrazy

      I hated disco SO MUCH.

      • calliecallie

        I’m not mad about this. Just disappointed.

        I noticed some Walmart Christmas ad featured the song “Hot Stuff” last night. I told mr. cc they were playing to the disco era grandmas. Except for the fact that it’s Walmart, it would have totally worked with me. Every time that ad comes on, I start dancing!

        • Shanzgood

          I have bad associations with it.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Yeah, cocaine, gross men in dim light, Bacardi, I don’t know those dances, fern bars. Yuck.

          • blaid droog

            U hate Donna Summer too? Have you ever had any fun, ever?

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t hate Donna Summer, just disco clothes and culture. I looked 20 at 12 and had a really bad time. Let’s leave it at that.

      • Bobathonic

        I still do, but my stupid brain KNOWS THEM ALL! Gaaah!

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Blasphemer!!!!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        #unfriended #blockedfromallsocialmedia

        https://m.popkey.co/a23714/4jMaX_s-200×150.gif

      • Paul

        Ramen. Me also too.

      • Indeniable Ron

        I hated it then. Now I find it pleasant enough, in a nostalgic sort of way.

      • blaid droog

        I take it you weren’t an Abba fan.

    • WIDTAP

      Richard Simmons! Welcome to the forum.

    • NorthernSaber

      That is most 70’s thing I have ever read- especially the “bottle of Rush” part. Haven’t heard that stuff mentioned in many a year!

      • Shanzcrazy

        It’s called poppers, too.

        • Daniel

          Ah that’s what that is!

        • blaid droog

          Poppers were these little nylon wrapped glass ampoules full of Amyl Nitrate. You got them from your cardiologist. That shit sold in gay clubs was a joke.

          • Shanzgood

            They sell it at “adult” theaters now.

            Or so I’m told.

          • blaid droog

            Ever seen the Michael Douglas movie about Liberace? In one bedroom scene he has a candy dish full of “poppers” on his bedside table. Amyl Nitrate is prescription only. Not that it matters. People can get whatever drugs they want if they look hard enough. I asked my cardiologist about giving me some and he just laughed. My first experience was with a group of around 10 people. The capsule was put in a vicks inhaler and passed around. By the time it got to me everyone else was laughing and coughing and literally flopping around like fish out of water. I inhaled some and it took around 30 seconds for me to feel it. It was the most intense, euphoric feeling i had ever experienced. 30 seconds, from my perspective that’s instantaneous. By the time it got back to me it was much weaker. Then the inhaler was reloaded. I tried it again. It was too intense, I didn’t think it was that much fun after all. The first guy, the one who broke the ampoule was now on the floor really, seriously, flopping around. He seemed unable to breathe. I freaked out. I was sure he was dying. Everyone else was still laughing and said naw dude he’s ok. Five or so minutes later when this guy was totally motionless, everyone else still laughing and saying he was fine, I got down on the floor and put my ear next to his nose. I then put my ear on his chest and my hand on his jugular. I said hey you guys he’s not breathing. No one believed me. They all thought I was fucking with them. A little more time goes by and everyone quit having such a good time. Several other people checked his vital signs. The consensus was just maybe we should call an ambulance. Except for the guy that invited me to this little drug party, the others were all strangers. I thought it was time for me to leave. Two days later, second section of the local paper was a little caption over an article that said ” college student dies from drug overdose”. First time I ever watched someone die. That was 50 years ago. I had already learned first hand about drug addiction and overdose. This event sealed the deal for me. From then on, I was careful about the drugs I did. Now, pardon me, while I wash down a little oxy with some Jim Beam. I don’t care anymore about accidentally ODing. With trumps access to the nukular codes why should I worry about taking too much of the wrong drugs. Happy fucking turkey day and to all a good nacht.

            .

      • blaid droog

        It’s now $20 a bottle.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Was that you??

    • Oblios_Cap

      Roller skates and a whistle? Oh, my!

      • SDGeoff3

        There was no such thing as overkill.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Nothing, and I mean, nothing succeeds like excess!

    • Daniel

      Please tell me your giant fan’s name was Andre.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Were you there?!!?!?!?!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I remember when I thought roller disco with the Village People was going to be the most not-binary thing not-yet-Cait ever did…

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/96b544366b3112bbaaa9feb8b8e9ad42018dad0053d4afa1c4e48f8f987a3924.jpg

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Sweet Jesus, Bruce Jenner in those years sent me to my bunk so, so often. I mean, just look!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Respect. But be fair – he’s no Eric Heiden.

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/15e5bb6536f64b861c99829d91d840f4190ce8a527177531a8c2247e324858ae.jpg

          And he’s a doktah.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Oh, to make a cozy home between those thighs. Sigh. Back to the bunk.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Libelz. There is no room between those thighs.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            I’m petite!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            That’s the spirit of a problem solver!

          • Gayer Than Thou

            As I like to say – I’m feeling lightheaded. I’d better put my head between his knees until I feel better.

        • SpideySenser

          True story…I used to date a guy who looked JUST.LIKE.BRUCE.JENNER! So cute. He was a total shithead but I really liked the fun sexy times, only cause he looked just like that dude.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            So jealous!

          • SpideySenser

            Seriously, they were separated at birth (and by a few years) but otherwise identical in looks.
            Well you can’t just leave something that hot in the bar, that’s a take home item.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Of course it is. In my youth, I didn’t always wait for take home. Of course I frequented that sort of place….

          • SpideySenser

            When I think of some of the risky stuff I did in my all-too-fleeting-youth, it makes me cringe.

          • SDGeoff3

            I don’t know how I got out unscathed from all of it.

          • blaid droog

            I did sex for money in SF while all around me people were dying of aids. I have always walked away from wrecks where everyone else died.

          • SDGeoff3

            The Ramrodian sort of places?

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Indeed!

          • SDGeoff3

            A fellow like- minded spirit!

        • blaid droog

          The sex change thing was disgusting enuff. But the asshole hangs out with those kar-dash-eeeanz. Talk about alien invaders.

      • blaid droog

        You got me to look at the worlds creepiest creature ever.
        I’ll not soon forgive you.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Who, Valerie Perrine?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Do you have photos?

    • Alex Grey

      So maybe the point is to make you feel more straight by comparison.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        I am Paul Bunyan butch compared to this flaming piece of work.

    • SDGeoff3

      Apparently that is the background he lacks. We have much to teach them.

    • blaid droog

      The Rush. It burns.

    • blaid droog

      He’s a regular at Gay Pride NYC.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    gay people are bad at sports because gays don’t have the “stability” or “alertness” to be good at sports

    Guess again, asshole

    /FFS

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Right. And 50 years ago I used to hear “Women aren’t good at being professional classical musicians because they don’t have enough ambition.” In fact, women weren’t as successful in the classical music professions because 1) the classical music industry was dominated by men and 2) because they always had to make a choice between having a career and having a family – a choice which male classical musicians did not have to make.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        And of course when they started blinding auditions more than half the musicians picked were women.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Yeah, funny how that happened.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    You can tell that dancer is not gay because he is wearing NOT GAY clothes. Ignore all the other stuff. DEFinitely “not gay” because collared shirt and suit pants.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Maybe’s he’s ghey, but not very good at it.

      • Oblios_Cap

        He’s probably new to the lifestyle.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Are there courses he could take?

    • Me The People

      You’ve never seen a picture of Jim Hoft, have you?

    • Robyn Ryan

      The socks. Those aren’t gay socks.

    • jesterpunk

      He isnt wearing the right uniform, it is supposed to be tan pants with a white collared shirt and a tiki torch.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It’s not gay if he’s an alpha, remember?

    • Historicat

      Sure and I hope he says hi to Mr. Tumnus for me.

  • Indiepalin

    A self identified lesbian is a person who doesn’t think all those U-Haul jokes are very funny.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’ll bet he goes around asking why all the gays keep giving him blowjobs and cramming stuff down his throat.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Are you people TRYING to summon the spirit of TLM????

      • Carpe Vagenda

        assuming spirits not in evidence.

      • Oblios_Cap

        He has left for other pastures, I reckon.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          goat pastures?

    • WIDTAP
  • Anna Rompage

    Just another victim of the years of us shoving our nefarious gay agenda down their soft, pink virginal throats…

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Are you unable to watch the video?

    I lasted thirty-eight seconds. That music…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/698526a276e23943eac19f9eca2c00bc76aea06836cded75ad58e01c0965b933.jpg

    • SDGeoff3

      A very bad Sting impression by the singer. As for the interpretive prancer, you GO girl!! Go far, far away.

  • Mary Theresa

    600 pages on other peoples sex lives. Hmmmm. No obsession there.

  • jesterpunk

    Wait if they don’t think lesbians are real then how are lesbian farmers taking over the US and making everyone gay?

  • leemoder
  • Bananas Foster

    I want to decorate their closets with rainbow wallpaper.

    • sillyclucker

      You’re probably too late.

  • Robyn Ryan

    I feel less gay now. Really….

    • Me not sure

      …but only by comparison?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • TJ Barke

      Their mental gymnastics are always fascinating.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        I would say sick-making.

    • Me The People
    • Mary Theresa

      Yeah, taking the purity of a young girls head and trying to shove it into Moores crouch = Christianity.

    • NastyBossetti

      Gross.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I think there is a kernel of truth here surrounded by a completely wrong conclusion. As a young man, Moore was isolated and sheltered. He probably wasn’t alone with an unrelated girl or woman his own age more than a half-dozen times in his life. He didn’t pursue girls because they were “pure” though; he pursued girls because he was scared of women. His religious zealotry fucked him up good.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    OT – Charlie Rose pink-slipped.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/933027406847324160

    • Bobathonic

      Evidence that they knew all along in 3, 2,…

  • Me The People

    Alan Partridge would have done a better job

    https://youtu.be/x9ytDCZS9oM

  • Ellie

    I am a church-going Christian, which means I’ve been burdened several times with having to watch interpretive dances. They are bad 99 and 99/100% of the time. That said, I have seen NOTHING that compares to this guy jumping around with “rainbow” colored cloths and looking like a complete fool/tool. If there was an award for Bad Interpretive Dance, this guy would be holding on to it, thanking everyone in the world.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Liturgical Interpretive Dance is of, and by, Satan and his minions and must be stamped out everywhere it exists.

      • Ellie

        I’ll drink to that.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      That’s one big reason why I don’t go to church.

      It is a loooonnnnnng time since I was suckered into attending such an event and, even then, most of the amateur talent was actually talented (at things other than interpretive dance, such as singing or playing the violin or something that requires some degree of talent.)

      Alas, out came a gawky woman in a leotard and every heart in the audience dropped. She proceeded to give her interpretive dance depicting a new-born ostrich emerging from an egg. It was embarrassing to behold, nightmarish, even. I felt as though I was witnessing a war crime but didn’t have the courage to intervene. And she so clearly wanted to be applauded in the end that a few generous souls give her a perfunctory tap.

      So thank you, that guy. Your routine is is even worse than that of ostrich-girl.

  • James Baskin

    You realize of course that he had to choreograph and then practice that ‘dance.’

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Months of fun.

      • James Baskin

        A lifetime of rewards.

    • Daniel

      With his wife watching to give him pointers.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        Something she’s probably used to.

        • Daniel

          And his brother in law. But only when he’d nearly got it perfect. He hates it when Rob sees him before it’s finished. Why does she want to embarrass him in front of Rob? I’LL ASK HIM WHEN IT’S READY, GOD!

  • Me not sure

    WOW! …I guess American really does have talent.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    That is not interpretive dance. That is hopping around like a little child performing in a school play who has to pee very urgently, but who has been told to “Hold it until a scene change” by a teacher. I suspect this guy was unable to hold it.

  • Blanche de Shambles

    That guy may not necessarily be gay, but that routine is gayer than a men’s chorus during Pride.

    It’s gayer than Robert Preston’s performance in The Music Man.

    It’s gayer than Judy Garland karaoke night at an especially gay leather bar.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      And…..Gayer than a clutch purse at the Tony’s.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        It’s gayer than a pug wearing a rainbow bandana.

        It’s gayer than a Tom of Finland retrospective at MoMA.

        It’s gayer than the Babadook on vacation in Provincetown.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Gayer than Elton John and Ellen DeGeneres dipped in glitter and riding a rainbow-colored unicorn in a Pride Parade.

    • dlemex

      Gayer than a cowboy bar in San Francisco on Halloween.

      Believe me, that night broken my heart and millions of fantasies.

  • BaconzDone

    Baconz worked in the “art” and the high end “restaurant” industries his whole life. In those industries there are a lot of homosexuals.

    If you never talked to a proffesional gay buisnessman…they despise what they call “fags” and “flamers” (I don’t have a problem with that but the gay community is a mystery to me. Will & Grace was insulting to many co-workers), Log cabin Republicans and all.

    BUT THIS THING HE’S DOING?…what is that? I’d say he’s be “over the top” being a fairy*..but he’s WAY too skilled in his moves to be straight.

    *please don’t be offended by the term fairy. I never had a problem with you “ass pirates”.

    • leemoder

      Maybe he’s just a classic Spaz.

    • Shanzgood

      You’re looking for trouble, aren’t ya?

      • Doug Langley

        Maybe you should spank him.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      I have a gay friend. I tell him everything he does is “pretty gay, dude,” because it is! He thinks it’s hilarious, I can tell.

      • BaconzDone

        That’s so gay to say

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
  • CountryClubJihadi

    It looks like an Indian Rain Dance. Specifically, to rain men.

  • altleftjohn
    • The Wanderer

      “Right! Stop that! It’s silly . . . and a bit suspect, I think. Time for a cartoon!”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzDrGT1XlNw

      • Resistor Radio

        It’s a good day to tune out the “real world” in its entirety. Have you got a new story I can get lost in?

    • amrak63

      A “bit” suspect.

      The Brits do love their understatement. ^_^

      • Daniel

        Well, I’d say we’re not indifferent towards it.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    This is all your fault, Loïe Fuller (1862-1928):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIrnFrDXjlk

  • NastyBossetti

    I think this has actually stopped me from wanting to have any type of sex ever again.

    • Juan de Fuca

      At least with that guy, amirite?

      • NastyBossetti

        For sure.

  • TJ Barke

    OT, but the Chinese must be super dedicated to this hoax business, it’s almost 70 degrees out.

    • SisterArtemis

      no way! must be the precursor to one of those weird winter storms rolling in…

      • TJ Barke

        It’s like tornado weather or something…

  • JohnBull

    You call that dancing? THIS IS DANCING!https://youtu.be/oASYa-Wkroc

    • Blanche de Shambles

      This is literally my favorite thing from Strangers With Candy.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    This asinine video is going to come back and bite this guy in the ass one day, because once stuff gets on the Internet, it lives forever. I am trying to imagine going to an interview for an important corporate job, and the interviewer says “Now, what about this thing you did back in 2017 where you hopped around a stage waving rainbow flags like you were on speed?”

    • sillyclucker

      Maybe he WANTS to get bit in the ass. It’s possible.

      • empf

        Heh…and I suspect that this may have already occurred. Mark my words, this guy is in the closet (sort of)

    • Jennifer R

      Well you see, he did a lot of speed and his parents beat him a ton for masturbating.

    • Anna Rompage

      More likely Ecstasy…

    • SisterArtemis

      He’ll be applying for a job as activities director for a gay community center, after he comes out 5 years from now. And then this video will come to light, and he’ll lose the job not because it’s from an anti-gay group, but because it’s ridiculous.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I was thinking he would apply for a job as activities director at a pre-school, and then this video will come to light and they will suspect his motives for wanting to be around a lot of little children. His best option is to apply for a job as activities director at a nursing home, but he should definitely stay away from any job at a prison.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Now go forth and enjoy your newfound heterosexuality.”

    https://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/haha-fuck-you-i-m-a-unicorn.png

  • yyyaz

    His flags are so pretty,
    And so flitty,
    They’re so pretty and flitty
    And GAAAAAYYYYYY!

  • wait! what?
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    This man is not representative of all straight people.

    • sillyclucker

      Maybe not any.

      • amrak63

        Yeah, I’m perhaps the most erotically clueless dude on the planet Earth, but even I can see that this guy will find Narnia if he goes any deeper into the closet.

    • Weird Fishes

      Speak for yourself, Norm.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      #notallstraights

  • goonemeritus

    The best part of attending ASME subcommittees on tribology is that they almost never include interpretive dance.

  • Greg Comlish

    Here’s my choice for the soundtrack:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_C9q4tuwXI

  • Daniel

    This video works well if you kill the sound and play There Is A Light That Never Goes Out instead.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “To keep the gay away, it’s important to be stable and alert at all times. I can’t tell you how many very straight men in our movement have slipped and accidentally fallen on a dildo at one time or another. It happens, as I have had to explain to my friends and colleagues so many times…”
    — A MassResistor, who finds some masses very hard to resist

    • amrak63

      That reminds me of Tyler, on the recurring SNL skit Appalachian Emergency Room, from several years back.

  • NotReallyHere

    I’ve read the post twice and watched the whole video. What exactly is this supposed to accomplish? I feel like I’m missing everything, and I don’t understand anything anymore. I’m feeling very
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ce9ccbff27133811b776830fa0c4988bfc6d450a308d4bc42a3653a92f5828da.gif

  • empf

    That is seriously the gayest thing I’ve ever seen.

  • Jennifer R

    This whole video feels very much like a paper thin con non-con scene.

  • Bebecca

    The most ridiculous thing about that video is the guy has on a button down collar shirt, black slacks and boring old man shoes. Probably because the group wants his appearance to scream “straight white guy”.

    • Zach Williams

      He dug into the Turning Point USA Collection
      It’s very popular with God-loving, straight white guys!
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e3b3f79d5136943c762f74c20e1b0941286beec8e875385193f50290ccff4ce.jpg

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Charlie Kirk is a fucktard.

      • Daniel

        1) prove it
        2) that’s like your opinion man
        3) that’s just wrong
        4) by what measures?
        5) no more than capitalism
        6) for what?

      • JohnBull

        7. Sentences should end in periods.
        Start speaking and writing English correctly, you sister-banging fuckballs, since you insist everyone else learn it.

      • amrak63

        I’ll agree with Charlie on the first one, but he can bugger off with the rest.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      International Male, it’s not.

  • Juan de Fuca
    • Karl Pilkington is one of the funniest men I’ve ever watched on screen.

      • Thiazin Red

        I really wish there was an Everybody Hates Chris style show about the truly bizarre childhood that Pilkington describes.

  • During the annual turkey pardon Trump just claimed that he can’t overturn President Obama’s “pardon” of last years turkeys, Tater and Tot. As much as he would like to continue his undoing of Obama’s work he was told that he can’t undo that particular executive action.

    What a fucking idiot.

    • jesterpunk

      Are you serious or is that a joke? Its hard to tell with Trump anymore.

      • I’m serious. Sadly serious.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        It really happened, and the pussburglar also asked if it was okay to touch the turkey.

        • jesterpunk

          They should have said yes then stood back and filmed it. That would have been better then the eagle video.

      • Thiazin Red

        I know. This is a hell world where it being real or fake are equally believable.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Is that true?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Does that fucking puss grabbing douchebag not realize that not everyone in this country hates the black president? Gawd. How embarrassing.

      • Relativicus

        Rule of thumb: any time I’m thinking of asking whether Trump understands something, I stop. The answer is always “no.”

    • jesterpunk

      Just found this USA today article about it. Its worse then you made it sound.

      https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/11/21/trump-pardons-turkeys-wishbone-drumstick-for-thanksgiving/885035001/

      What a fucking moron.

    • JohnBull

      Proof that all the money in the world can’t buy you intelligence or a personality. Colleges should start including psychology as part of its required core curriculum, with a study on Trump himself.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I suspect Tater and Tot of being involved in a Tryptophan smuggling ring…but thanks to Obama, we’ll never know the truth…”
      — A Republican who can pronounce Tryptophan (so, not Donald Trump)

  • armed_bears

    1. This shit makes the anti-gay lobby look dumb. Good.

    2. Good stuff happens:
    https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/jury-awards-transgender-professor-1-1-million-discrimination-case-n822646

    • bubbuhh

      Anti-gay lobby right there wif teh pro-pederast lobby when it comes to mean n stoopit. This video colorz them very confused.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Do they also sell t-shirts that say “Jesus says RELAX” on them?

  • bubbuhh
  • Doug Langley

    The potential for a new fitness craze is just terrifying.

  • WIDTAP
  • ltmcdies

    WTF was that.

    • natoslug

      A deeply closeted individual screaming for help.

      • ltmcdies

        Yup….I see that now

      • Juan de Fuca

        He’s so far in the closet, he’s finding Christmas presents.

        • Daniel

          In Narnia.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Ba dum tss

          • TJ Barke

            He’s in a closet in Narnia.

          • Johnnymoreno

            LoL!

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Narnia!

        • natoslug

          He’s so far in the closet, Aslan asks him for directions.

  • natoslug

    I’d make fun of the Artist!, but I don’t feel like gay-bashing.

  • Dolmance

    I’ve so od’d on sick people these days, I can’t even bring myself to press the play button.

    • bubbuhh

      iz worth it!!!

    • Serai 1

      No reason to avoid it – it’s just a dude dancing around with two hellaciously ugly “rainbow” flags. (I guess they’re so hysterically terrified of TEH GHEY that they can’t even bring themselves to use flags with ACTUAL rainbows in them.)

      • SisterArtemis

        “color splotch” is the new rainbow, apparently

        • Serai 1

          It’s just so fucking ugly – which I’m sure is the whole point, at least in this instance.

  • MOG253
  • wait! what?
  • BJW

    Haven’t read all the comments so I don’t know if this one has been made:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/50da778137df56f1fea1435edb5fb78f452ea017ab105f46f37e182f8ea39d1e.jpg

  • President in Exile Firefly

    The fuck?

  • With the sound off, it reminds me of an old viral video, “the Yes dance” which I can’t get to YouTube to find right now but I hope someone posts immediately.

  • Serai 1

    That .gif is SO going in my fuck-you dance.gif collection!
    THANK YOU EVAN FOR THIS PRICELESS GIFT!!!

  • Straight people are going to reclaim the rainbow flag! Straight people are going to wrest that pole right out of those filthy gay hands and prance around with that pole held proud and erect, in front of admiring audience, their mouths open wide in delight…

    Uh, how does one publish poorly-written erotica on Amazon? AFAF

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I’d call this one “Pounded in the butt by insufficiently-examined subtext”

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      You just upload a PDF, basically. But then you have to market yourself.

      I have heard.

  • Zach Williams

    If you wanna have some fun with that video, mute it and play this in another tab
    https://youtu.be/ZXx0pWpszKg

    • Gayer Than Thou

      You are a genius.

      • Zach Williams

        My school would agree with you.

    • amrak63

      *sigh* May Laura rest in peace in Raspberry Heaven.

      This overlooked gem is her best song, IMHO.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8P15L1e0ggg

  • Joshua Norton

    “Countering the LGBT Agenda,”

    A friend of mine gave me a copy of his Official Gay Agenda:

    — Pick up prescription toothpaste
    — Trader Joe’s stop
    — Glass of wine
    — Pass out by 8:40 PM

    My only question was is “prescription toothpaste” a gay thing?

    • Resistor Radio

      It’s obviously code for recruiting children into the gay lifestyle.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Clearly fake. “Turgid” should be in there at least once.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Turgid Joe’s is the gay Trader Joe’s but it’s kind of a well-kept secret.

    • NastyBossetti

      I had prescription toothpaste when I was young, and it did not turn me gay. Hope this helps!

      • Johnnymoreno

        It’s the fluoride. All part of the Gay Agenda

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I didn’t know prescription toothpaste was a thing, full stop. Much less passing out after one glass of wine.

      • Old Nick

        I am straight and 71. Dentist gave me prescription toothpaste (PreviDent 5000- catchy eh?) because I have sticky plaque. I can pass out at 8pm without any wine at all. “There are more things …than your philosopy blah blah. Too lazy to quote Hamlet accurately

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I have a gut instinct that there is a subtle subtext to his, uh, performance but I can’t for the life of me figure out what it is. (I can figure out what it is.)

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Am I not supposed to notice that Miss Thing up there appears to have some junk in her trunk?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      It’s movement clothing!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Are you so gay right now? Thank God, you have come to the right place to get that fixed!

    Finally, Marcus Bachmann’s therapy did NOTHING to make me straight.

    https://queerty-prodweb.s3.amazonaws.com/content/docs/2016/07/marcus-bachmann-interview.jpg

  • jesterpunk
    • Blackest Noobs

      fake meowews

  • kilgoretrout

    What if you were turned gay by the video?

    • MynameisBlarney

      No idea, but surprise buttsechs doesn’t sound so crazy anymore.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Gay in the sense of being romantically attracted to one’s own gender? Not possible.
      Gay in the sense of falling out of one’s chair while laughing hysterically? Very possible.

    • Zach Williams

      Well, Chris Hemsworth turned me gay first so there’s no effect.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I’m not sure that counts. Chris Hemsworth turned me gay, and I already was gay.

        • Zach Williams

          Well, we could also point out that people don’t get “turned gay”.
          I identify as a bisexual, but it wasn’t JUST because of Chris Hemsworth.
          I’ve always kinda had a thing for abs.

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Somebody’s dad wouldn’t let him tryout for color guard in high school.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Rainbows are cool and fun! Tasteful film noir has its place, but black-and-white is boring. I see no reason why rainbows should be symbols of hate rather than love. The man who came up with the rainbow flag symbol for Pride (I believe he died last year) picked the perfect logo — if you think, in the computer age there are more than 16 million listed colors in the RGB color wheel, then there’s got to be that many or more variations of human dimensions of gender-identity and sexual orientation. Scientifically, it makes a lot more sense than 0 or 1. (There’s your quantum computing right there, lol.)

    I always liked rainbows, even as a kid. I loved Rainbow Brite and the Care Bears and all those “LSD candy color” cartoons from the ’80s. I was sad when mean people (including kids who no doubt learned the hatred from their parents), latched onto what was supposed to be a happy thing, and made it something to get bullied about. I had a vintage Apple shirt that I wasn’t allowed to wear to school anymore, because it “meant something else now.”

    I even had an Apple cake for my birthday one year (it was actually apple spice, with white cream-cheese topping and the Apple logo drawn in multicolor frosting). Now even Apple got rid of the rainbow logo (years ago, and haven’t brought it back) despite Tim Cook being gay. That’s a puzzler to me.

    But I never stopped liking rainbows. In fact, from time to time I find myself bookmarking recipes for rainbow cakes, rainbow songs I would like to see performed at Pride, rainbow clothing and rainbow accessories, etc. It sounds like a great party and I’d love to go someday! (…and to Pride Toronto, of course.)

    http://www.macleans.ca/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/TRUDEAU.jpg

    Why do they hate freedom? Is it because rainbows are associated with books… and because they don’t like Chaka, Chaka, Chaka, Chaka-Chaka-Chaka Khan?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPqpmSWwuGk

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but similar to a “Bad Gaming Advice” thread I started on the DDO forums eons ago.

    https://www.boredpanda.com/shitty-life-hacks/?utm_source=1004057_0_0_0&utm_medium=push&utm_campaign=WebPush

  • Crystalclear12

    Is there a charity for chronic lack of self awareness?
    How about the irony impaired?
    I feel there is a need.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think they are best left to fend for themselves.
      Bootstraps, etc…

    • Daniel

      People in the United States are suffering from an epidemic of Morisette’s Syndrome. This deadly disease, spread on airwaves from Canada, causes a complete psychological break and as the infection progresses its victims gradually lose all self awareness. But for just £3 a month you can send badly needed Irony Supplements to treat people like this dancing prannock, whose self-awareness is nearly entirely gone thanks to MS.
      Here at the No Morisette we’re working with aid agencies and volunteers from around the world to provide the treatment these poor people need. Call the number on screen or text “Prannock” to 68874 now to donate £3 a month or whatever you can spare.

      Thank you.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Needs more Sarah McLachlan.

        • Juan de Fuca

          In the arms of an angel…

  • Arse Grammatica

    I’m not good at sports and I am not gay — NO FAIR!

  • Johnnymoreno

    WTF, Derek–is there something you’d like to tell us?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I’m still not gay so it must be working although I couldn’t watch the whole thing. My attention span is about 14 seconds max. I blame TeeVee.

    • Beowoof14

      I forced myself to stay to the 1:28 mark, and wasn’t disappointed, then was out by 1:35.

    • Flashman

      My laptop took off and started flying around the room at 0:47.

  • Joshua Norton

    Somebody should clear him for takeoff before he screws himself into the stage.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      “Privatizing” the air-traffic controllers likely has a whole different meaning here.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    I watched this and now I don’t want to have sex WITH ANYBODY. Did it work?

    • Flashman

      You’re cured.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine…

  • Relativicus

    Everybody knows interpretive dance is the most heterosexual thing you can do. I’m not sure that that qualifies as interpretive dance, though.

    My favorite part is just before the end when you can see the “I forgot how long this song is” look comes over him (heh).

  • Mehmeisterjr

    The fact that the guy behind the podium didn’t say, “What the holy fuck was THAT?” suggests that the Men Flouncing Their Own Way movement is gaining adherents.

    • Captain Kraut

      Too bad most of those guys seem shaped to bounce, not flounce.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I just checked back and podium guy, instead of saying what I think any American, straight or gay, would say after such a weird display of interpretive sashaying, said, instead, that it put them “into the spirit of things.”

        Hmmmmm.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Not eve shaped to bounce. More shaped to go “blobble, blooble, blobble.”

  • Joshua Norton

    I just heard that Charley Rose was let go from CBS for pulling sexxxxy time by letting people see him naked. I found it hard to believe that anyone would want to see Charley in dishabille. I think I found someone.

    • amrak63

      I would pay to AVOID looking at Charlie Rose nekkid.

      • Old Nick

        I am attempting to formulate a rule for any guy thinking about doing sexy stuff to a woman he doesn’t know well. So far, something like
        “If you are a guy older than___, the chance that any woman wants to see your junk is non-existent. Do you really want to be appreciated only for your money or power? If so, you are a creep.”
        Sugestions appreciated, there is no pride of authorship. This shit seems so obvious and yet. . .

  • Gayer Than Thou

    …gay people are bad at sports…
    Obviously, there’s a preacher guy who has not Googled “gay rugby players” as much as I have.

    • amrak63

      I hope GTT uses a condom every time he googles a gay rugby player, or that the rugger uses it if it’s the other way around.

      I would miss him if poor health forced him to abandon Wonkette.

    • Daniel

      Hookers?

    • Joshua Norton

      I just did that and teh Google sent me to Pornhub.

    • amrak63

      I expect more preachers than you might think Google gay dudes of whatever sportsball preference.

    • marxalot

      *cough* Women’s hockey *cough* *swoon*

    • TimResistit

      Or college wrestling. Yes I said that I admit that.

      • Old Nick

        I did college wrestling long long ago. There was nothing less sexy, the aggression, the smells, the pain, the total exhaustion- on the other hand, maybe there are those who feel differently. Rule 34

        • blaid droog

          Sounds like heaven.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Let he who is without sin blow the first Hirst. Or however that goes…

    • paxpax

      …or Olympic diving…

    • nightmoth

      I used to date a straight rugby player. You know about the elephant walk, right?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I do not. It sounds like the kind of thing I should not Google at work.

        • nightmoth

          I’ll just say it is SO homoerotic that it made me wonder about all rugby players. The teams get together after the game, losers and winners, and drink a lot of beer, and get very familiar with each other.

        • blaid droog

          Name of a bar when I lived in S F. Midway down Castro. Had a giant brass elephants head on the door.

    • Captain Kraut

      I think the German women’s national football team would beg to differ with that statement, half the team seems to be married to the other half and they’re doing just fine*, thank you very much.

      *if 2 world championships and 8 european championships are good enough for our pastor.

      • Sarah Smith

        Pffft! You know women’s sports aren’t real sports. Silly wonkette person!

    • Paul

      Wrasslin’? Rugby? Holly says you must like contact sports. (I had nuthin’ except the wrestlers asking ” What are we, chopped liver?”…..again.)

  • Latverian Diplomat

    MassResistance promised their audience the “straight dope”, and this was the best they could do…

    • amrak63

      Well, in their defense, it was certainly dopey…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The “straight” part we’re not as sure about…

  • kilgoretrout

    Why didn’t they call it AssResistance?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Because that would be patently false?

  • Bitter Scribe

    I…just…what the fuck…

    I got nuthin’.

  • Jenny

    Are you at risk for the gay? Ask your doctor about Enchantrix. The proven morning routine to prevent the spread of gayness.

    Studies have shown that it reduces gayness by 83%!

    Enchantrix is not for everybody and should only be tried by complete heterosexuals. Discuss with your doctor any complications that might arise from being slight homo, asexual, pan sexual, or just curious about your sexy flatmate.

    Enchantrix! Flail away the gay!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    After the performance, he thanked the audience, saying, “This is the first time I’ve come out with this in public, usually I just practice in the closet. It’s nice to be up here on stage, instead of down low in the audience.”

  • marxalot

    I cannot stop laguhing! Also, I checked just now, and my very gay homosexual gender-bender boxer briefs had magically transformed, through the power of Dance, into slinky heterosexxxy lace-edged girly bikinis, which are very straight. Do I need to watch the video again to overcome the hormone therapy, or do you think that will go away on its own?

    • Glistening Fishlifters

      You should at least put the gif in the corner of your screen and let it repeat, presuming you are on a computer, so that it can scare off all those sinny hormones while you work.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I’m legit confused. Is this intended to be a parody of over-the-top gay stereotypical behavior? Why is the man on the stage moving around like that while waving around those rhythmic gymnastics accessories?
    A gay friend of mine is a minor instagram celebrity in the gay community. He goes to all the Pride events all over the country and can’t walk a block without getting stopped by admirers. He is REALLY into fans and incorporates them into all of his costumes. I predict that if I showed this to him, his response would be along the lines of “honey, you gotta take it down a notch”.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      It appears to be one of those ex-gay co-ops where they all have been wildly unsuccessful in getting rid of all their gay feels, but bravely pretends otherwise.

  • sonali

    This is where he trained…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwDOB9mbFvk

  • Michael Smith

    Self-awareness is often sorely lacking in bigots.

    • tz

      Bingo, we have a winner!
      To my mind, evil is that which does not recognize itself.

  • Beowoof14

    Are we sure this isn’t a place where “Super Straight” guys go to get their down low hook up on?

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      No. We are not sure.

  • ImGoingBacon

    You all can keep jizzing on the dancing, I’m still wrapping my brain around the existence of a 600 page, anti-gay sexxx book.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’m curious about the illustrations.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I wonder if that’s where TLM feeds his graphic buttsex obsessions. I’m not sure anyone spends as much time thinking about anal than he does.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Haven’t seen him in a while. One hopes he’s spending the time copying some new material.

    • FlownΩver

      IIRC, Ed Meese’s Pornography Commission report had to be sold from under the counter in a plain brown paper wrapper.

  • Swampay

    Hey, folks, settle down!! He’s not using actual rainbow flags so it’s not really gay! Is wanting to be a butterfly really that gay?

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Right. Unless those flags have gold fringe, they’re totally non-legit.

  • Jgb979

    I’m definitely not attracted to that man after watching that, but I am now attracted to flamboyant interpretive dance….

    Success?

  • mardam422

    I’m straight. But after watching that I have an uncontrollable desire to purchase some doilies for my dining room.

    • Blanche Beecham

      His doilies are lovingly made by Mother.

      I feel a group shared experience – the paranormal old gay gentleman-bachelor haunting.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Messrs. Lynde and Liberace will see you now.

        • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

          Charles Nelson Reilly is holding on line 1…

  • Damn, he gayed me up good. I never knew.

    • Surely he was trolling them, right?

      • Blanche Beecham

        I think so. There is no troll like a fed up radical homosexual agenda troll.

  • george lastrapes

    I’ve wondered long and hard, so to speak, about Joseph and his coat of many colors. Were they rainbow colors? Is that why his brothers treated him mean and sold him into slavery? While he was a slave, did he have to wear leather stuff?

  • Blanche Beecham

    I feel like the radical homosexual agenda wrapped me in warmth, like a beautiful butterfly.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Interestingly, the homosexual agenda is quite dull. It only involves domestic chores and such (get dry cleaning, grocery shopping, clean bathroom…that sort of thing). Only 15 minutes/day is actually spent ruining “traditional marriage”. Not sexy, at all…

      • Blanche Beecham

        Not sexy, but radical.

  • BearGHAZI

    Does this mean the Human Rights Campaign conference will open with Slayer and keg stands?

    • Zombishroom

      That would be awesome!

  • Nockular cavity
    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Whenever I hear the word “Hat” I always mentally add “Broach” and “Pterodactyl”.

      • Old Nick

        Broach- to open or introduce a subject
        Brooch- a piece of jewelry worn close to the shoulder
        Did I miss something or is this just the prevailing illiteracy?

  • TimResistit

    That was almost 5 whole fucking minutes? Kind of a nice butt, tho.

  • Professor Fate

    Did he lose a bet?
    I like to the think the Audience reaction was the dead eyed silence that greeted the end of Spring Time for Hitler in the Producers.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    God Hates Flags.

  • Red Richmond

    I dunno about making me straight, or gay, or whatever that dance was supposed to convert me into, but now I really want a drink with one of those colorful little umbrellas in it. Maybe a whole bunch of them. Drinks, that is, not umbrellas. Two umbrellas I think is enough for me.

  • everstar

    Semaphore: it’s not what it used to be.

  • Johnatx

    So…. what would happen if I watched the video in reverse? Possibly end up with better fashion sense?

  • Carla Vandermeer

    This looks like some kind of mating dance, displaying the bright plumage to entice a partner. Or is it just me?

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Looks like this, but much more colorful!

      https://youtu.be/UYbn9R11Rrs

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I’d fuck that.

        • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

          I don’t know… It’s got a bigger pecked than I do.

      • Odd Jørgensen

        https://youtu.be/wTcfDCjBqV0?t=51
        the best bit starts at the 0:50 mark

  • Michael R
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    What’s with the business casual? Surely a straight man costume wouldn’t bust the budget. Like these fine examples…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/12b5cd295a5b9eb53f09b1f42f8cd72e49c944d73e5e19b5cd3062d2d78af472.jpg

  • Ωbjectifier

    Pretty sure I saw that guy at the Folsom Street Fair last year.

  • A Bashful Nobody

    Please tell me this is a joke…….

  • Captain Kraut

    I’m feeling fairly gay after that gif. Am I doing this wrong?

    • Tony Zimmerman

      Fairly gay… me too. WTF was that??

  • Susan Preiss

    I’m producing a Christmas drag show he might like to be in.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Please share pics.

  • Ken Summers

    You skipped over the “Hey, look, guys, I’m Carmen Miranda!” moves at 2:52!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    OK, I need a palate cleanser after that.

    https://youtu.be/AvkhjzJ__6Y

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      There certainly is some lovely choreography in the pas de deux.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda
  • a_pink_poodle

    I didn’t see the video with sound but ABBA’s Waterloo started blasting in my head when I saw those gifs

  • Pat_Pending

    Latent homo dances like a latent homo. If he’d just come out he could get lessons and maybe fix that.

    • Ωbjectifier

      There’s homo lessons?

      • Tony Prost

        school of hard knocks

        • Amy!

          You misspelled “cocks”.

  • richardgrabman

    That was soooooo gay!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I am so sorry I had to waste time on work so i couldn’t catch this thread in its prime. But I am going to review non-comments and laugh and laugh. I need it after all the other stuff.

  • Pat_Pending
    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      That was weirdly hypnotic.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    This is only damn thing I’m clicking on today. Well, OK, the sanctuary city things, too, BECAUSE I’M DONE READING ABUT RAPEY THINGS FOR A WHILE.

    Could we maybe declare a moratorium for just a week or so. PLEASE.

    Oh, and that guy being not-gay with the gayest goddamn dance ever? Har har har, thanks, I needed that.

    And the lyric, “Love keeps no record of wrong,” sounds like some closeted gay sex to me. But what do I know? I’m just a chick who wants a wee reprieve from an entire generation’s dump of men behaving badly towards women all at fuckin once.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Out of (morbid) curiosity, I looked up the source of the lyrics and turns out to be from one of our old Corinthian friends, Corinthian One. One of The Donald’s favorite Corinthians! (13:5, to be exact.)

      The central idea of the Bible verse (apparently) is that if you love somebody, you can’t hold the past against him or her. Which is all well and good, unless you use it to say that you just luuuuurve Judge Roy Moore and so you can’t hold his long history of Mall-lurking rapeology agin’ him.

      A Thing I could possibly forgive, given time: Matthew West only knowing two chords and going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

      A Thing I find impossible to forgive: All of that hippety-hoppety applied to a song that isn’t entitled Here Comes Peter Cottontail.

  • folderol

    “Prance the Gay Away”™

  • Ninja0980

    Closet case on aisle 3!

  • major_asshole

    Isa conversation camp where you just talk about being gay? Like, is it just long nights around the campfires in your booty shorts and mesh shirts comparing boyfriends and dick sizes?

    (There is no conversion for lesbians, because everyone knows that’s every straight man’s fantasy.)

  • YaJagoff

    Camenker may not be gay but his boyfriend is.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Wait; this is supposed to make you not gay? Because waving rainbow colored flags is usually associated with being gay or at least a gay ally. Unless he’s trying to make us associate gay with horrible dancing; in that case, mission accomplished I guess.
    Also, how would this effect someone such as myself(if it worked), who is physically male but self identifies as a anthropomorphic wolf demigoddess? And I’m bisexual, so there’s another thing to consider. If I stop being attracted to other females I gender identify with, then I’ll be gay for the males who I physically match with. Isn’t that the opposite of what they want? I’m so confused; just not gender confused.

  • Ken Berry

    Where have I seen this before??? Oh, yeah…
    https://youtu.be/_wErVF7QwIY?t=4m03s

    • paxpax

      THAT – was highly entertaining

  • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

    “…how gay sex is dirty and bad and EWWWWWW GROSS…”

    To all of the gay folks out there that get told that gay sex is twisted, perverted and disgusting, I offer this: Look the accuser straight (ha!) in the eye and say “Yes. It. Is…if it’d done right.” The go on with your bad selves.

    Also, if any form of gay conversion actually…you know…worked, word would spread around the world like fire. Because I’m sure there are thousands of tormented people that would rather not be ostracized for who they are…and if there were a panacea to fix that, they’d jump on it for a hot minute.

    However: If gay conversion therapy actually did work, I’m fairly certain it would not involve interpretive dance.

    • HarpyLibtart

      Pshaw, there is nothing like a stiff dose of jazz hands to reaffirm your heterosexuality :P

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Plus rainbows.

      • craigbear

        I think it may be time to get new glasses, because I misread that as “jizz hands”!

  • Holy fuckballs, I laughed so hard at the gif that I nearly lost a client. Gotta stop checking Wonkette in boring meetings.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    OH THANK YOU LORD FOR THOSE 5 MINUTES I AM DYING RIGHT NOW

  • SDGeoff3

    This could be the place to share a picture from my doctor’s office where I’m patiently waiting. What do you think was on Norman Rockwell’s mind when he created “The Gift”? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5267962aea2e526edef5743ba801789ce5cf0d97735395d26b93cd10e32f6769.jpg

    • Wonky McUbtrye

      “Remember when granddad would come round with his pockets full of treats?” It was a thing.

      • ryp

        “I wore a puppy in my pocket, as was the style at the time.”

    • Serai 1

      A little kid trying to find money for some ice cream.

  • The Noreaster

    Here is the .. um.. flag dancer in a FB live. He’s an ‘Ex-Gay Activist.’ Oh, hi, BTW, long-time lurker, first-time poster.

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/ex-gay-activists-warn-kids-now-think-you-get-things-for-being-gay/

    • H0mer0

      Greetings!

  • lowenufc

    Watched the video to French Black Metal. Somehow, I’m still straight, but still happily supportive to my gay brothers and sisters.

  • Wonky McUbtrye

    “Love Keeps No Record of Wrong” is my favorite Erasure song.

  • ken_kukec

    Wasn’t this on the undercard at the Dude’s landlord’s interpretive dance recital?

    Fuck it; let’s go get some In-&-Out burgers.

  • WatchHill

    He works at Initech. To do that interpretive dance his pastor must have died in the middle of his session.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I hear he’s now working in construction.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        He seems more suited to working in deconstruction.

  • Fight fire with flame, huh.

  • dshwa

    So he stole Rick Perry’s DWTS routine.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s not stealing, it’s hommage.

      • Bad Tom

        Hommage is a fucking check!” — John Waters

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Amen, brother.

    • phoenix00

      Good artists copy, great artists steal.

  • Delu

    Why do I get the feeling that we’ve just witnessed the origin of TLM?

    Maybe even TLM itself?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I suppose he’s laying low for the holidays so he doesn’t have to buy anyone any presents.

  • Wait just a cotton picking minute…

    There’s no color yellow in that flag!!!1!1!

    ROY G BIV is now ROG B IV…
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ROYGBIV

  • SeeTrain65

    The dancers from Cirque du Soleil just asked him to tone it down a bit.

  • progressiveredneck

    I got this. So, after watching this, legions of heteros are now flamingly gay and now can pay money to fix what just happened. Well played, sir! A perpetual motion machine of paying clients.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Its the Starbelly Sneetches.

  • Ulricii

    I knew Sally Rand. She was a friend of mine. And you, sir, are no Sally Rand.

  • sarafina

    I saw Dominic’s strident demand to look at that video RIGHT NOW and did. I thought it was very pretty.

  • Tetman Callis

    Two minutes and fourteen seconds of that shit and I could not be straighter. Thank you, Prancing Hetero Hero, you have saved my immortal soul. I’ll remember you in my prayers.

  • Sakonyachen

    I’ve always been straight. Watching this makes me want to be gay just to spite these assholes.

  • Maybe

    So you think you can dance…

    And hate on gays at the same time.

    This is the gayest video I’ve seen in weeks.

    • little miss high and mighty

      counterproductive one, no?

      • Maybe

        It does make one wonder if this guy is as non-gay as he wants to believe. He had to delve deep into some closet to find all the frou-frou.

  • teenygozer

    He looks so… happy. One might almost say “gay”.

  • CafeenMan

    I keep saying there is no such thing as a good right-wing artist and right-wing “artists” keep proving me correct.

    • craigbear

      The ability to make good art more or less depends on having some compassion in one’s soul.

      • Zannah Merrill

        You mean some ability to see beyond one’s self?

        • craigbear

          Exactly!

    • little miss high and mighty

      Funny that,
      We just read “David Bowie as THE Right Wing Artist” in Ordinary Times (byRoland Dobbs)
      But also :Rimbaud
      Dali
      Wagner
      Liszt
      Michaelangelo
      Thomas Heart Benton
      Tom Wolfe
      Gertude Stein
      Walter Banjamin
      Adrno
      Bowie is in good Right Wing company. This list goes on and on- all artists whose roduct we love yet poitics we do not.

      • Bad Tom

        Ziggy Stardust is a right winger?
        Somehow I’m not buying it.

        • H0mer0

          yeah. Wasn’t he afraid of Americans?

          • Bad Tom

            Didn’t seem afraid when I saw him in concert in Foxborough back in the 80s. Pretty great show.

          • H0mer0

            [you probably knew this but that was a song reference]

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Rimbaud? Isn’t that a measurement of how fast you can flick your tongue?

  • Teto85

    What The Fucking Fuck?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      The STRAIGHT guy (you can tell by the clothes) is doing a STRAIGHT dance with classic symbols of STRAIGHTNESS (rainbows) to celebrate a return to STRAIGHTNESS and reinforce the STRAIGHT message that their program provides to its clients. But yeah, that was nuts.

      • Teto85

        As a straight guy I am embarrassed by his actions.

  • Posonby Britt

    Seems like he’s doing some pretty gay dancin’, gurl, because as we know, these boys who are SO concerned about gay sex, who just can’t stop thinking about it, talking about it, singing about it, etc. they just want it to stop/don’t stop/stop/don’t stop!!

  • Next a drag queen sang “I’m Coming Out [Of Gayness].”

    • Zannah Merrill

      Amen!

  • Zannah Merrill

    I need to know why he thought it was okay to dance that dance in that outfit.

    Oh, right. He’s a straight boy.

    Straight, he’s straight. He’s the straight one.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I thought he was having an apoplectic fit.

    • blaid droog

      He’s as straight as my dick with the peyronies.

      • Zannah Merrill

        I can only assume your dick now loops the loop. I’m sending you through the prayer tree, brother droog.

        • blaid droog

          Please explain. What the fuck is a prayer tree? You religious freaks get crazier every day.

          • Zannah Merrill

            A prayer tree is a church phone tree from back before text messaging, conference calls or email, through which anyone with a prayer request(/urgent issues) could reach effectively the entire church community with one phone call; that person was designated to call some folks(by name), those people had callees, and so on. Most people would make and receive one phone call. Then, presumably, the power of prayer(and casserole, and babysitting) would work its magic. Miracles. I mean miracles.

            I’d expect the church ladies in hordes with their casseroles and home penis remedies shortly.

  • Jesse

    If somebody who knows how doesn’t edit that into RuPaul’s Drag Race, I will be very disappointed.

  • kareemachan

    The very first thing I thought was, “DAMNATION, he must really hate gays!”

    • gene108

      He uses their own Gay rainbow flag motif against them. Very insidious.

  • ryp

    Is this some sort of alt-gay thing?

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      I hear Milo needs work…

  • handyhippie65

    uuhhhhh, ok. that’s one of those things you can’t unsee, no matter how you wish you could.

    • ahughes798

      I think it’s hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing! I’m a bad person, maybe.

  • phoenix00

    Dance The Gay Away >> Pray The Gay Away <<<<<<< Lay The Gay Away

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      And their favorite “Pay the gay away” so they can collect fees.

  • blaid droog

    My partner tells me I’m the worst fag he knows and I should tear up my membership card. I have no use for Broadway musicals. I don’t love hilary, or barbra or abba or, oh fuck it, I’m just a terrible gay man. I’d much rather watch someone rebuild a 65 426 hemi motor block than watch some repressed asshole dance around in his office clothes waving rainbow fag flags. That xtian rock was every bit as bad as Hank Hill said it was. I remember the days when rock was satanic and uneducated hick heyzeus merchants said we were all going to hell just because Morrison jerked off on stage in miami. Wait. I forgot my point. Maybe I didn’t even have one. Anyway, I watched that lame ass video and I’m still queer. Anybody looking for some blow and go, I’m on Grindr. Blowandgo 666. I can host.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      I had to pause and read the horse fondling article from way back when. I have a suspicion the blow you speak of is not the type I was looking for.

    • Bad Tom

      “I’d much rather watch someone rebuild a 65 426 hemi motor block …”

      Perhaps, unbeknownst to yourself, you are a lesbian.
      ——-
      Imagine your partner’s surprise!

      • ahughes798

        Hey…I’d rather watch or help someone rebuild a 65 426 hemi than do any of the things other straight females do!

        • Bad Tom

          “Morrison did not jerk off or even expose hisself in Miami, FYI.”

          Darn.
          Well, I like his music anyway.

      • blaid droog

        I don’t eat pussy. I hate raw tuna.

  • Jo Mathie

    Fondling horses stops you from being gay? But I hug my horse all the time and I’m still bi-sexual. Am I doing it wrong? Mind you i did have a transgender pony – she had a tumour on her ovaries and it caused her to produce testosterone so she turned into a mini stallion – she even had her little mini harem of mares that she mounted until she had an operation to fix the problem. So perhaps It’s the wrong way around and I turn horses gay.

    • ahughes798

      I read something like this in a horse magazine once: “If ponies were people they’d all be in jail.” Also too, I am jealous that you have a horse to hug! Does he/she hug you back…you know when they bring their head around you and cradle you in the crook of their neck? I’ve wanted a horse since I was a little girl who wanted to grow up to be a little gray pony with wings, LOL!

      • Jo Mathie

        The pony in question was Quizzie and even before her problems it was a bit like riding a motorbike – hella fun when you are eleven though!. We’ve got another two, one who is now retired and a pretty palomino. Yes they do nuzzle back. When I suffered from depression I would go and sit in their stable and listen to them munching hay.

        • H0mer0

          apparently cats cheer up horses when they are blue

        • ahughes798

          That’s a pleasing, soothing sound, isn’t it?

      • Gascoigne

        Horses are just like people. Every horse has their own distinctive personality. Anyone who says otherwise is a damn fool.

        • ahughes798

          Oh, indeed they do. That’s why I don’t trust them anymore.

  • Viktor

    Looks like he’s practicing his routine for the Pride Parade

    • Bad Tom

      Needs better flags.
      Also better dancing.

      • LiberalANDProud

        Gay Semaphore

  • William

    Lately I have noticed that being around gay people is much better than being around religious people. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e02b3f293f784b1c49475d1c73e03d406bef21aa4c4f8d882c817d07f9cc6b20.jpg

    • Bud Smith

      Wish they would. Love Elton.

      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        Sir Elton is the bomb

    • CriticalDragon1177

      Wouldn’t mind meeting Elton John in person. The only issue I have with him, is that sadly his singing isn’t anywhere near as good as it used to be.

      • William

        He’s getting on in years.

  • Bud Smith

    He’s a gay.

  • JoyZeeBoy

    That is the fruitiest goddamned thing I’ve ever seen!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      It’s fruitier than Anita Bryant’s face that day in Des Moines!!

  • tz

    GIve the man credit, he has a nice bubble butt!

  • laineypc

    Someone seems to have confused “interpretive dance” with “my kids danced better than that when they were two years old”

    • ahughes798

      Finally, someone knows how I feel about jazz and abstract painting!

      • H0mer0

        now imagine if he was shooting paint out his ass as he danced that…

  • Rickyphoo

    I don’t know if the United States has cornered the world market on stupid but we have got to at least be in the top five.

    • Maybe

      American Exceptionalism at play.

  • Duke

    Thank you. I believe the video has enhanced my already-overwhelming heteromasculinity.

    I do find the guy with the flags to be strangely intriguing. I’m sure that’ll pass with another viewing. Or two.

  • Sy Colepath

    I have to say, I appreciate the amount of energy he has.

  • I have been laughing for 24 hours.

  • jte

    Sweet fancy Moses!!

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    This guy is so deep in the closet he’s got citizenship in Narnia.

    • harryeagar

      Or, I wonder, is he a gay performance artist making a career out of trolling the christians?

      • SKruetheratbassedarDs

        All I know is I watched the video to manly up my manly straightness, then took a drink from my Vente Starbucks Gay-Agenda-Solstice-Holiday (TM) cup, and suddenly all I wanna do is hear show tunes . . . those evil starbucks libruls with their war on all Holidaze . . . .

        • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

          Your coffee was pumpkin spice, was it not?

      • Maybe

        Probably not yet, but it is only a matter of time.

      • SweetJeebus

        That would be amazing.

      • CriticalDragon1177

        You mean trolling wingnut Christians, since liberal Christians usually don’t care so much if people are gay and are tolerant of things like same sex marriage.

  • harryeagar

    Up with straight people!

  • progressiveredneck

    Been following this weird Christian flag movement movement (they often replace the word “dancing” with “movement”) Cuz you know, Kevin Bacon and stuff. It is a THING. Youtubes is full of it and these flags are friggin’ spendy. Apparently the entire Christian Army (Airforce, I guess, now) is trying to bring the DAD and SON team in for a landing from Outer Space. Or at least the South.

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Projection has never been so gay.

  • Emily Barnard

    Come all the way through, Little Edie!

  • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

    That is possibly the most flamboyant, resplendent, peacockish, flaming, gaudy, florid, jazzy, chichi, campy excrescence of gaywaditude that I have seen in a month of Sundays, bless his heart.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    That may be the gayest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been to Halloween in Greenwich Village, and spent most of my formative years in gay bars. That dude really needs to dial the flaming queerness down a bit.

    • Hiss

      He could use some advice on his clothing style, though.

  • progressiveredneck

    This guy is a flaggot.
    3:34a.m. thought while I got up to let out dogs. Laughing in dark out loud. Cannot unsee it. Sleep ruined.

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .
  • vajufa

    I’m confused…not as much as that dancer is, but still. Is this group made up of allegedly-recovered homosexuals? If so, that video clearly shows you can’t treat the gay away. And if not, that’s a clear cut case of cultural appropriation. How dare they take a break to enjoy such a flagrantly gay display in the midst of plotting to squash gay rights? Fuckers.

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    Alright, now I’m not gay.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      If anything I think that would turn you gay. Seriously through, I can’t help but wonder what was going through his mind as he did that.

  • delia jones

    #staunch

  • Gascoigne

    Sounded like there was about an audience of ten, if that.
    That was supposed to have been anti-gay? Could’ve fooled me.

    • mary5920

      I was thinking the same thing. It isn’t exactly a rainbow flag, but it could have the opposite effect ;-)

  • Sashay those flags away.

  • Dunc

    Ok explain to me. Love isn’t keeping any records, apparently. But God is Love, as we get from numerous spots. But then God has wrath, mentioned a lot of places. And he’s gonna pour it out all over the place, especially, it turns out, the things he doesn’t remember.

    I feel like these guys are some kind of anti-christianity.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      I think they fail to see how they contradict themselves since they’re so full of themselves.

  • toughsister

    Those flags are soooooooooooooo gay!

  • toughsister
  • toughsister

    Christian flag below. Available at Walmart.

  • This guy is gayer then both my Brothers and that’s saying a lot. I lived on Capitol Hill in Seattle during the 70’s and 80’s and they were less gay then this man.

  • ahughes798

    I still cannot stop laughing when I see this video. And they left yellow out of the flags.

    • LiberalANDProud

      He thought it was too gay.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    Man that guy, for someone who thinks that Sodomy is a “sin” and that gay people can be “cured” of their affliction sure acts like a stereotypical gay man.

  • CriticalDragon1177

    I have to admit that although Brian Camenker’s politics are morally abhorrent, at least he has good choice in music.

  • bopeep

    I’ve always wondered what cavorting looks like. This guy is undeniably, unmistakably cavorting. Thanks, dude!

  • Wade DeGottardi

    so I tried this, and I’m afraid to report that I’m still a homosexual. I suppose it’s all in the wrist?! Please help.

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