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Picture it: the fevered imagination of misogynists everywhere, 2017.

A smooth talkin’ fella meets a lady in a bar, probably by “negging” her. She is seduced by his handsomeness as well as his charms and wiles (which he perfected in a class at the local community college taught by a man in a velour hat), swiftly agreeing to go home with him and spend the night sexing him up like a common hussy. BUT THEN, the next morning she wakes up, and in the clear light of day realizes that having had consensual sex with him makes her A SLUT, which she does not want to be. “Well, I guess it is OK,” she thinks, “so long as he sends me flowers the next day and seeks to win my hand in marriage!”

BUT THE FLOWERS NEVER ARRIVE! “Oh, he was a cad all along!” she cries!

The woman, simultaneously incredibly evil and o’ertaken by desperate grief caused by having surrendered her virtue, fearing that people will call her a slut, decides to call up the police and report that consensual sex as a rape. The police then show up at the smooth talkin’ bachelor’s house and immediately arrest him for said rape, and then he goes to jail FOR LIFE.

Simultaneously, across town, there is another woman who just had sex with a man who is really, really bad at sex. So bad at it, in fact, that she rings up 911 and has that man sent to jail FOR LIFE.

THE END.

This is, of course, not a thing that happens in real life. But that doesn’t stop jerks like Alex Marlow, editor-in-chief of Breitbart, from insisting that not only does this happen, but that the very definition of rape has changed to include such incidents.

On the November 21 edition of SiriusXM Patriot’s Breitbart News Daily, Marlow opined:

Rape used to have a narrow definition. Rape used to have a definition where it was — it was brutality, it was forced sexual attack and penetration. Now it’s become, really, any sex that the woman ends up regretting that she had. And that leaves us without a lot of clarity, because when words lose their meaning, then they can be manipulated. And so now the left has made it so that women who are, maybe are — I don’t want to paint a scenario because the freaks at Media Matters are listening and they want to take me out of context, so I’m not going to give specific scenarios — but you guys can do this in your own mind, where rape used to mean something. We used to all knew what it meant. And then now we don’t know what it means. And then we don’t know what’s credible and what’s not. And now everyone is going to come forward.

This line of reasoning is easily debunked when one imagines how many women out there likely regret having had sex with Alex Marlow and somehow have not yet accused him of rape.

Reading his words, however, you would think it was the most difficult thing in the world to avoid having sex with women who don’t want to have sex with you, or with women who are too incapacitated to consent to sex with you. I assure you, Alex Marlow, it is not. It is very, very easy. Frankly, it involves far less effort on your part than the alternative.

Marlow, however, isn’t entirely wrong about the definition of rape changing. Rape has indeed had a number of “definitions” over the years. Once upon a time, rape was a crime that could only be committed against an unmarried virgin, and it was considered to be not a crime against the woman, but a property crime against her father. Up until fairly recently, historically, marital rape was not a crime.

Up until 2013, the FBI’s definition of rape was “carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.” It has since been updated to the far more accurate “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

It has not, however, been changed by anyone to mean “any sex a woman regrets.”

In fact, if you’ll notice, there is absolutely no mention of “regret” in that new definition. In the piles and piles of “MeToos” that have come out over the last month, you will notice that not a single person has said “I had sex that I wanted to have at the time that I later wished I did not have. He raped me, in retrospect!” Not a single one! Which is interesting considering I don’t think I know a single person that doesn’t have at least one entry on their “Oh god, I can’t believe I banged that loser” list. No one is defining that as rape. Not me, not anyone I know or have even heard of.

You will also notice that there are not exactly a ton of feminists going around giving a flying crap about sexual purity or fearing being labeled a slut. That’s not really a thing we do these days. Conversely, I’ve spoken to a lot of women who for a long time feared even saying they were victims of sexual assault because they didn’t want to be known as “that girl,” didn’t want to be defined by the worst thing that had ever happened to them, didn’t want to deal with all the shit that came along with it. Part of the catharsis of the “MeToo” thing was in finding out that they weren’t alone in being “that girl.”

I very much doubt that Marlow or any of the myriad other men who share his ideas about this are genuinely afraid of actually being accused of rape by women who simply regret having had consensual sex with them. Statistically, they are much more likely to be falsely accused of murder.

According to the National Registry of Exonerations, since records began in 1989, in the US there are only 52 cases where men convicted of sexual assault were exonerated because it turned out they were falsely accused. By way of comparison, in the same period, there are 790 cases in which people were exonerated for murder.

You would think they’d be more worried about that, but then they don’t get to yell at feminists.

What this hysteria over “regret-based rape accusations” and “they’re changing the definition of rape! How will we ever keep up???” is all about, ultimately, is men’s own insecurity and fears of rejection. It’s about the fear that if they have to really make sure that the woman they are about to have sex with really wants to have sex with them, that she will immediately come to her senses, realize they are repulsive, and run the hell away. It’s about the fear that they are so bad at fucking that a woman would enact revenge upon them by accusing them of rape. It’s about the fear that the woman fucking them really doesn’t want to be fucking them.

It’s part of my job to pay a lot of attention to the news. In the five years that I’ve been doing this, I have never seen a single news story about a woman who reported consensual sex that she later simply regretted having as rape. I have, however, seen dozens of stories of men going homicidal or brutally attacking women after being rejected. Just this month, a 34-year-old Pennsylvania man brutally murdered a 19-year-old girl he wasn’t even dating for rejecting his proposal of marriage.

Women have much more to fear from scorned men than men have to fear from scorned women. That is a fact.

Being sexually harassed or assaulted is a bad time. Reporting a sexual assault the police is a bad time. Getting a rape kit done is a bad time. Talking about being sexually assaulted or harassed is a bad time. There is not a woman on earth who is going to put herself through any of that shit simply because you were a bad lay and she’s an evil bitch.

The new rule is not that we count sex one later regrets as rape, the new rule is that if you are not 100% certain that a woman wants to have sex with you, do not put your penis inside of her. It’s not that hard to figure out, Marlow. It’s not that complicated. You can do it. And if you can’t, don’t have sex.

[Media Matters]

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  • MynameisBlarney

    I’m afraid to ask what “negging” is.

  • Mormos

    couldn’t the definition of rape be shortened to simply, “penetration without consent”? No with body or objects, no mention of orafices, just “penetration without consent.” seems legit to me.

    NOT ROCKET SURGERY HERE

    • marxalot

      Someone would try to get their lawyer to argue that their multiple-homicide stabbing spree was, in fact, “rape” and not murder.

    • h4rr4r

      So then a food fight could be rape?

      Law is tougher than rocket surgery.

  • Duke

    He’s being an ass, of course.

    • vivian

      Ass Fucks Self

      Film at 11.

  • memzilla Ω

    Can’t wait to read Marlow’s autobiography, Unfuckable Me.

    • BadKitty904

      Or I Was a Self-Entitled Snowflake

  • Michael Smith

    Pretty much anything that comes out of Breitbart can be concluded with “… and this is why we need Donald Trump.” Everything they say is propaganda for him. If you lose Trump, the liberals will arrest all hte men!!

    • Cosmic Owl

      I’ll never quite undersrand how anyone can look at that orange hot mess of hair, teeth and wind and think ‘my savior!’

      • Daniel

        It’s possible a teratoma might be responsible for sending you to heaven.

      • MynameisBlarney

        To be fair, these folks also believe in pro wrasslin, the young earth theory, that Jebus wrote the bible and that Nascar is exciting.

        • Cat Cafe

          And send their money to Nigerian “princes.”

  • Cosmic Owl

    I don’t see where the pay off is in ‘changing your mind’.

    pressing charges ain’t fun, nor is there any monetary value attached to doing so.

    Seems this guy thinks women are spiteful and vindicitive, just as he is.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: Dammit, they settled the case I was working, even though the case was mostly bullshit.

    Grrrr.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      and oh yeah, COMMUNITY COLLEGE LIBELZ!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I get it, the community college I attended on my way to the university was pretty darn good.

        But the “independent extension classes” (or whatever) that aren’t part of any school’s curriculum always seem to rent classrooms at CC’s. I’ve attended a few. So now I can make decent sushi, as well as open a B&B someday, if I want.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “When people don’t use words the way I want them to, they lose all meaning.”
    “The words, or the people?”
    “Yes.”

    • Resistor Radio

      Yeah I thought it was rich of someone from fucking Breitbart complaining about words losing meaning.

  • Zonath

    Up until fairly recently, historically, marital rape was not a crime.

    …and up until this year, Rape required physical resistance on the part of the victim in the state of Maryland.

    https://www.forensicmag.com/news/2017/04/new-maryland-law-no-longer-requires-rape-victims-prove-physical-resistance

    This line of reasoning is easily debunked when one imagines how many women out there likely regret having had sex with Alex Marlow and somehow have not yet accused him of rape.

    Assumes there are women out there who have had sex with Alex Marlow…

    • vivian

      Yeah, I was doing the whole “divide by zero” thing in my head…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I think his mother might be regretting some of the sex she had…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Rape used to mean something, then the Canadians rebranded it as Canola!”

  • Michael Smith

    That must have been back when women used to be sacred.

  • weejee

    So Alex will be having Negg Nog these holidays?

    / he better wear a cup when going into bars too, also

  • Nounverb911

    Something, something, time machine, something, mother, something, more birth control….

  • WilbyToad

    Michigan governor appoints official charged in Flint water scandal to lead public health council

    According to the case against Wells, she illegally interfered with researchers attempting to study a Legionnaires’ disease outbreak in Genesee County.

    In Wells’ new position, should she not be convicted, she would take part in developing a plan to implement the recommendations of the commission, as well as monitoring the effectiveness of Michigan’s public health response system.

    Wells is just one of 15 current and former government officials who have been criminally charged in the Flint water crisis that has yet to be resolved and has exposed the city’s 100,000 residents to high levels of lead in the drinking water.

    Snyder’s office defended the controversial appointment, issuing a statement reading, “Everyone is innocent until proven guilty.”

    by Tom Boggioni, RAWSTORY
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/michigan-governor-appoints-official-charged-in-flint-water-scandal-to-lead-public-health-council/

    The fukkin’ gall of Rick Snyder.

  • Michael Smith
  • Crystalclear12

    This day sucks.

    • Nounverb911

      So do all of them that end in a “Y”.

  • BadKitty904

    Honestly, what is the deal with heterosexuals, anyways?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      We’re a weird bunch.

      • BadKitty904

        Y’all need to straighten up. So to speak.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Is that a dick joke?

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
    • Raan

      Hey man, you can’t control what gets your dick/lady dick hard.

      • FlownΩver

        You (not you you, Raan) can’t control your hand? That must be inconvenient at Thanksgiving dinner, what with the gravy ladle and all.

        • Raan

          #TheStruggleIsReal
          #DrStrangeloveJerkingIt

    • BMW

      I read this is Jerry Seinfeld’s voice for some reason.

      “And what’s the deal with heterosexuals?”

      • Resistor Radio

        Ha, same here

    • Sadly, rape is not unknown among gay men or even, disgustingly, gay women.

      • BadKitty904

        Oh, we’re not innocent. I just don’t think we’ve made it a cultural institution.

  • BMW
  • I think I am getting this new slang: Actually a ‘covfefe’ is a unit of measure for every charge of sexual harassment a pervert gets away with. I.e. Trumps has about 12 covfefes.

  • Nounverb911

    The good news is still Andy Breitbar is dead, the rest of the news, not so much…
    https://twitter.com/kenklippenstein/status/933045950817370113

  • BadKitty904

    Another self-martyred, Reich-wing snowflake. Yawn.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    It’s just a theory, but is it possible that there is a certain… thread connecting these assholes who worry so much about what they perceive as the defining-downward trend of rape accusations?

    And might that thread be that when it comes right down to it, a lot of women tend to realize with these fellas, sometimes at the last minute, what assholes they really are? And then try to make a hasty departure from an intimate evening? And then these assholes are likely to get angry?

    In other words, if jerks like this think they’re vulnerable to the sort of ‘danger’ they’re describing… there might be just a little truth to that. Not because bitches be lyin’, but because sexist troglodytes be threatenin’.

    • h4rr4r

      I think it is more that this is sour grapes.

      They think “I sure dodged a bullet when she tossed that drink in my face. Was probably going to just report me for rape later anyway, even if we had consensual sexy times”

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Also too.

  • h4rr4r

    According to the National Registry of Exonerations, since records began in 1989, in the US there are only 52 cases where men convicted of sexual assault were exonerated because it turned out they were falsely accused. By way of comparison, in the same period, there are 790 cases in which people were exonerated for murder.

    How much time and effort is spent on trying to exonerate rapists versus murderers?
    Of those 790 how many were also in the 52?

    Exoneration rates don’t sound like a good source of data for this. I bet there is no good source of data for this.

    I am not saying it is likely, only that this is garbage in garbage out.

  • 52camellias

    Awww, poor Alex Marlow, how terrible for him, having to contemplate being kind and a gentleman and attractive to his (sober) female of choice in order to have sex with her. I feel so sorry for him . . . oh, wait. No, I don’t.

  • Crystalclear12

    Ahh yes, verbal birth control.

  • ArgieBargie

    Shorter Marlow: “But she never said ‘no’!”

    Yet another fucking Wingnut presenting a binary argument because he can’t understand nuance.

  • One could say the “POTUS” does have the country’s moral compass shoved up his ass…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5dc65cc942b80121ff1b539387dfbe8e824402d6d17a5581e8a523f3152ce8d8.jpg

  • marxalot

    I mean, I have– from a vantage point of five or ten years later— occasionally thought “good fucking God, there is no way I was capable of affirmative consent or in my right fucking mind when I did that!” but I’ve never accused anyone of rape because of it. Okay, yeah, I was hella gay and fucking dudes out of… denial, mostly, but if it isn’t the sex you want it doesn’t count.

  • WilbyToad

    Reading Rainbow’s LeVar Burton bombarded with tweets from angry Trump fans who think he’s LaVar Ball

    By Brad Reed, RAWSTORY
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/reading-rainbows-levar-burton-bombarded-with-tweets-from-angry-trump-fans-who-think-hes-lavar-ball/

    I was afraid this might happen. (sigh)

    • Zonath

      Obviously, not a whole lot of Trumpsters were fans of his show.

      • Raan

        Any of them.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Certainly not Roots.

          • Raan

            Either one.

            ‘Cause he produced the remake that aired…last year? Year before, maybe?

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      They’re not fans of reading. Or rainbows.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        They’re not fans of reading. Or rainbows except during interpretive dance performances.

        FIFY

    • Nockular cavity
    • jesterpunk

      That isnt even the first time that has happened and if you really want to be shocked every time its a minority.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Well, they all look alike to me.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Apparently they never took a look in any book. Morans.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    Republicans want to legalize rape in every situation and circumstance, and to execute women who allege rape.

    • Daniel

      Party of personal responsibility.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “My dakimakura regrets nothing!”
    — Alex Marlow

    • h4rr4r

      I don’t know what that is, and I don’t think I want to.

  • Anna Rompage

    It appears the Red Pill, Deadbart, MGOTW douche canoes now refers to the feeling someone who was sexually abused against their will has, as regret..

    How cute…

    • 52camellias

      If by cute, you mean “horrifying and malicious.”

  • Weird Fishes

    Do not let them get away with this. Do not let them repurpose or redefine or anything that defangs this word. It’s as ugly as the act and deserves to remain so. Whingy “but I thoughts” and “and that’s not how I define it” is no longer operative.

    Men no longer have the right to frame the narrative. We never should have had it in the first place.Our inability to act like adults has made that the only solution.

    • Marion in Savannah

      THIS. They’re going to use this just like they use “pro life.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        And “liberal” and “progressive”.

      • Weird Fishes

        Nasty creatures, they.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    This guy doesn’t get laid often…does he.

    • jesterpunk

      I don’t think he ever has.

      • Crystalclear12

        And just made sure he never will.

  • jesterpunk

    Damn it’s gotta be painful for him with all the strawmen he keeps claiming to have sex with.

  • Nockular cavity

    Shorter: I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS “CONSENT.”

  • Sheepshagger

    Hate to get all geopolitics on you but there seems to be an inscrutable civil war breaking out in eastern Ukraine between the two Russian puppet states. And an entire Russian battle group tooling up for some serious mass slaying. Shit looks fairly serious. https://twitter.com/glasnostgone/status/933023298098737152

    Also too- rape not good.

    • jesterpunk
      • Sheepshagger

        Reassuring.

      • Raan

        Aaand sealed indictment for Rudy in 3, 2…

      • MynameisBlarney

        What in the actual fu…

        Ah right, he’s treasoning, isn’t he?

        • jesterpunk

          It must be another one of those huge coincidences.

          • proudgrampa

            I think not.

          • jesterpunk

            I should have used the sarcasm tag there. They keep saying all the Russian meetings are just big coincidences not signs of collusion or treason and I was making fun of that.

          • proudgrampa

            It’s cool. #coincidence #winkwink

        • wait! what?

          He wants to let them know what he was doing during 9/11.

      • yyyaz

        Let us hope he stays there. For a really long time, maybe even indefinitely.

    • h4rr4r

      Remind me again why we are even dealing with the Russians?
      After their occupation of Ukraine we should have cut off pretty much all ties.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Well, turmp seems to be awfully fond of that putin guy.

        • jesterpunk

          Trump is just solving Ukraine, nothing to see here. He discussed it with Russia.

          https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/929503641014112256

          • MynameisBlarney

            Solving?
            As in “invading”.

          • jesterpunk

            Just like he solved Puerto Rico and healthcare.

          • wait! what?

            Do you throw towels at Ukraine or babushkas*?

            *The scarves, not grandmas.

          • jesterpunk

            Both? You should always know where your towel is.

          • BadKitty904

            As in “treason”.

          • TakingAmes

            “There always playing politics”? WHO is there always playing politics? (Sorry. Grammar nerd)

          • jesterpunk

            You are trying to correct a Trump tweet? iPhone suggestive words make more coherent tweets and speeches then Trump does.

            https://www.thewrap.com/john-oliver-trump-nuclear-incoherent-video/

      • jesterpunk

        Because the GOP platform was changed by the Trump campaign only where it dealt with Russia and the Ukraine?

      • hudson

        we did (frozen accounts, sanctions etc.) and that is why this lash-out from russia, no?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m sure our “President” will nip this nonsense in the bud.

      • proudgrampa

        There you go.

      • Erala Contratista

        And I thought he “will nip this nonsense in the buff”.

        Sigh.

        Off to the groceries for inspiration.

    • Professor Fate

      So is this what Putin talked to Trump about the other day? “I’m going to invade Ukraine you keep quiet about this if you know what’s good for you.”
      “Yes.”
      “Yes what?”
      “yes sir.”
      “That’s better remember there’s a Trump Hotel in Moscow in your future if you behave.”

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I read “Donbass” as “Dumbass” and figured the person was tweeting to Don Dumbass.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Everyone is down with authoritarianism as long as they are the authoritarian.

  • vivian

    This guy ain’t no Shakespeare…

    • Resistor Radio

      ISWYDT

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      He might be one of the infinite number of monkeys, though.

  • Me not sure
  • proudgrampa

    What?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Now it’s become, really, any sex that the woman ends up regretting that she had.

    How odd. Being a penis-carrying male, I’ve actually had sex that I regretted (admittedly, not a great deal) and I never once woke up thinking I was raped. I sincerely doubt that women would think of it much differently.

  • BigCSouthside

    The scenario he describes us just really kinda silly. To pull it off you’d basically have to plan it in advance, like way in advance, including doing homework on the guy you planned to take down. And like all your shit would need to be in order.

  • Crystalclear12

    I would like to place an order for nice times or kittens, please.
    The hippos and joey have completely worn off.

  • Paperless Tiger

    The Women’s Revolution was nothing like they thought it would be.

  • Joyous scenes as the Speaker of the House interrupts the debate on the articles of impeachment to announce that the President has resigned.

    Harare, Zimbabwe today: NEXT YEAR IN WASHINGTON DC!

    http://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-africa-42071865/the-moment-zimbabwean-mps-hear-mugabe-has-resigned

    • jesterpunk

      Damn I was happy for a minute thinking you where talking about Paul Ryan and Trump. I had the banner ready and everything.

      https://j.gifs.com/voqJvL.gif

  • TundraGrifter

    “Rape used to have a narrow definition. Rape used to have a definition where it was — it was brutality, it was forced sexual attack and penetration. Now it’s become, really, any sex that the woman ends up regretting that she had.”

    It’s a very short argument when the person talking presents his (or her) position and then disproves it in the next sentence or two.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I know it’s a very important topic, but can we get an article that isn’t all rapey-assaulty. I am starting to get subject fatigue.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Um, yeah.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Well, of course not: http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/21/politics/donald-trump-roy-moore-alabama/index.html

        President Donald Trump on Tuesday defended embattled Alabama Republican Roy Moore, all but endorsing the Senate candidate who has been accused of sexual assault and child sex abuse.

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy
          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            Naturally. Fucking over the poor and paying back your campaign donors is just way more important than not electing a pedophile to the Senate. That’s just good politics.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Priorities, people!

          • Erala Contratista

            And wasn’t that the lamest, looserian, belly floppiest change of subject ever anywhere????

    • natoslug

      I’ve had subject fatigue since the election. Unless Mueller speeds things up with Trump-Russia fuckery, I’m pretty sure 2017/2018/2019 are going to kill me.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        I thought I was stressed during the W years.

        This makes that feel like an invigorating romp.

      • Historicat

        I’m not sure my liver can hold out that long.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    State Dept revolt: Tillerson accused of violating U.S. law on child soldiers

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/state-dept-revolt-tillerson-accused-violating-u-law-060524602.html

    • Zonath

      …because these assholes only make the world more horrific on days ending in ‘y’…

    • lucidamente

      Next up on Fox: Were those kids were asking to be drafted?

    • Thiazin Red

      For real though, is there a running contest for who can be the most cartoonishly evil going on? What is the prize a dalmatian fur coat, an actual slave, what?

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Island fortress is my guess.

      • Courser_Resistance

        It’s a fucking waking nightmare every goddamn day.

    • BadKitty904

      And not one gotdamn thing will be done about this as long as the Republicans hold our Congress hostage.

      • yyyaz

        And as long as Tillerson is given free rein to continue gutting the State Dept.

        • BadKitty904

          An item very high on Putin’s agenda for the destruction of America.

  • This is not that hard. Be a decent human being.

    If you are not, in fact, a decent human being or need help in knowing how to behave like a decent human being, here are some helpful rules for you to follow:

    First, do no harm. (unless your partner(s) is into that, and even then, make sure you have an honest discussion of their comfort zone and respect their boundaries.)

    Don’t touch someone who doesn’t want to be touched.

    Do not show someone your genitalia unsolicited.

    If you think they wanted to be touched and you do touch them and it’s clear that it was not welcome, apologize immediately and back off.

    Don’t touch someone who can’t tell you whether or not they want to be touched.

    If you think someone is attractive and would like a date, ask them. If they say no, back off for a while. You may ask again later, maybe they really are busy that night, but if they say no a second time, leave it be.

    If you’re kissing someone or engaging in physical affection and they pull away or push your hand away, back off and follow their lead.

    Do not take sexual advantage of a drunk or incapacitated woman. Make sure she gets home safe and leave or hold her hair while she vomits, sleep on her couch, and get her an Sausage McMuffin and Coffee the following day.

    IANAL, but I believe you’re legally allowed to ask a coworker out once or twice, anything more than that is harassment. Don’t be a fucking creep and follow your company’s HR rules about fraternization.

    Do not use someone as an object for your own satisfaction.

    Do not lie to someone in an attempt to get consent, do not lie to a partner, do not lie by omission to a partner about your fidelity.

    Consent should be clear and enthusiastic. Coercion, power, or guilt must not be involved.

    Do not hit upon, date, touch in a sexual way, or have sex with someone who is incapable of consent due to age or mental incapacitation.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    True story:

    I had lunch with my father and brother the day after the election. I was (to say the least) shaken and deeply angry. I had gotten a text the night before from a young friend who had been sexually abused as a child, saying that she didn’t know how to handle the election of Trump.

    My family is not all that political, so at lunch they were talking in terms of “let’s see what happens” and “maybe it won’t be so bad.” I was furious, practically crying, and I said “Just watch: they are going to redefine rape.”

    My brother (who is incredibly mild-mannered) actually raised his voice and told me that I was being hysterical, overreacting, and that I should just calm down.

    Maybe I was a bit unhinged, but I wasn’t wrong.

    • proudgrampa

      Definitely not wrong.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Sorry to hear that Sedagive. I can relate. My father never did anything untoward with me, but he physically resembled Trump in the ’80s, looks like Bannon now — and behaves like both of them, towards myself and my mother. This election has been a nightmare for so many people and your friend is not alone.

    • theblackdog

      I’m sorry, it shouldn’t have happened.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        I’m lucky: I’ve never had to deal with that kind of abuse.

        My friend is stuck in a small, conservative town in Idaho, and she is having a tough time of it. I’m doing what I can to help her out.

    • shivaskeeper

      This has been going since before Trump. Think back to the GOPers and God-botherers crying about “legitimate rape”. Trump is a symptom, but not the disease.

      Sorry about your friend and your family’s reaction.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        To clarify: my father and brother are wonderful people, but they didn’t get the threat. They didn’t get that creepy, abused, evil feeling that some very, very bad people were about to take power.

        And yes: The Handmaid’s Tale. We all read it as kids – it always rang true.

        • shivaskeeper

          I figured your family was just out of the loop or unaware of how things were going to go, not being deliberately mean.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Good people always underestimate how evil bad people can be.

          • shivaskeeper

            In my experience that is usually from lack of exposure to the evil people.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yes. If you do not think as a sociopath, it is hard to believe anyone could think that way.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • In Conservativespeak, crime = Negroes (spelt with two g’s)

      • James Baskin

        Absolutely. This isn’t about law and order or anything else. As long as he’s a racist and the Dem is not, they’re going with the racist.

      • aureolaborealis

        Also: Those little girls were black, so …

    • Bright Bart

      well Woody the Perv does commit “hard-on crimes” (allegedly)
      too soon?

  • WilbyToad

    White nationalist Richard Spencer humiliated as Maryland farm shuts down his event
    by NOOR AL-SIBAI. RAWSTORY
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/white-nationalist-richard-spencer-humiliated-as-maryland-farm-shuts-down-his-event/

    Hey guys! Over here!
    http://www.gifbin.com/bin/320sw0sw7847.gif

    (An old gif that keeps on giffing.)

    • theblackdog

      I hope the farm is passing along the name or service he booked under to other venues so that they can avoid this human pile of garbage.

    • TakingAmes

      He should be humiliated. Daily.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Never mind having one day: I’ll settle for having one fucking news alert that isn’t triggering FFS.

    PS: the blame goes to the assholes, not to Wonkette for reporting on them, of course!

    • proudgrampa

      It’s the world you and I live in, sweetheart.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea, or elected to the Senate from AL. One of those.

    https://twitter.com/JoeMyGod/status/933013155097092097

    • proudgrampa

      “Flip” ? Are you kidding me?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Oh, dude. He’s the father of these fine young homophobes offering up a TMI Rick Perry’s crotch to the camera.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f492b0060654f2f4ed849cfb0b9337af82eaab02bf394a5c59798651ddd9c5fb.jpg

        You may remember them from the show they failed to have on HGTV after they made it clear that they were totally opposed to teh gai and it turned out that didn’t really work for the viewers of interior design programming.

        • BadKitty904

          Rick Perry: The Closet Case’s Closet Case

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          The “Women are Property” Brothers.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Who, because there is no low here and I swear I am not making this up, were going to call their real estate churning program “Flip It Forward”

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            How about Leave It or Leave It. Or Fucker-Uppers.

    • TimResistit

      That’s a defense? They don’t know how to do defense.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        They’re offensive-minded.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Well duh, that’s why human sex traffickers charge more for them.

      How many horrible creeps can there possibly be holding state office in Alabama?

      • jesterpunk

        AOT,K?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Yeah, it’s much riskier to molest somebody who knows what the hell you’re up to.

    • jowgajen

      This continues to be a bad look for Evangelical “Christians”.

      • Oblios_Cap

        If you’ve been watching them down through the years, you would know they’ve never really had a good look.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Roy Moore goes to a daddy-daughter purity dance and says, “May I cut in?”

        • TakingAmes

          That is just “ew” on all the levels.

    • Thiazin Red

      Of course no one is even pretending he didn’t do it anymore. Its amazing how quickly conservatives have stopped even trying to pretend they don’t believe the horrible shit they do. No more dog whistles, its naked racism and pro child molesting from now on!

      • BadKitty904

        While married. “Family Values,” people…

        • Carpe Vagenda

          He founded Operation Rescue.

          • BadKitty904

            Is Child Services aware of that?

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Oh, who the hell knows. For some reason ‘evangelical’ leaders with high-profile Republican connections are OK if they set off blazing sirens.

          • BadKitty904

            “For $ome rea$on…”

    • puredog

      “. . .something about their purity that he was just driven to defile.”

      • Courser_Resistance

        Yeah, that just makes it MOAR creepy! STFU

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He listens to too much Christian Activist Ted Nugent.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      If your town has a police officer assigned to keep Roy Moore away from the cheerleaders at the High School football game, you’re doin it wrong.

    • TakingAmes

      And he likes to fuck up that purity because it makes him feel like a big brute man (Mr. Hat)?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yeah, but it’a like with soap bubbles. One prick and it’s gone.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, you know, somebody’s mother, so. That sort of makes blood shoot out of my eye sockets.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Vomit emoji please.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Rape used to have a definition where it was — it was brutality, it was forced sexual attack and penetration. Now it’s become, really, any sex that the woman ends up regretting that she had

    OK, I don’t like talking about this, but

    I’ve had sex I ended up regretting. I also had to fight off a man in college once. NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING ASSHOLE…

    /FFS

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Leave it to Breitbart to complain that rape nowadays isn’t brutal enough.

    • Shanzgood

      Ugh. I didn’t think about it that way. But you’re right.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Worst. Sitcom. Ever.

  • James Baskin

    I’m not sure if the reason these guys are upset is because they’re insecure. I think it is more that for the first time, there are consequences for being a rapey asshole. These douche bags are getting canned and sued and prosecuted and “Oh my goodness!! I can’t even be a grabby-ass dick anymore without getting my shit jumped in.”

    • yyyaz

      I must have been married and raising children when it was OK to be a grabby-ass dick. Because it wasn’t OK when I was a whoring single on either side of those years.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Much like the war on political correctness. They want to be able to be as big an offensive asshole as they want without facing any repercussions.

  • 52camellias
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Hopefully they brought rainbow technicolor dreamcoats :)

  • Michael R
    • BadKitty904

      And, he hopes, himself.

      • proudgrampa

        He certainly believes himself

        • BadKitty904

          A standard behavior amongst sociopaths.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Breitbart “editor” is a total jackass.

    Film at 11.

  • Blackest Noobs

    totally off topic..anyone remember playing syphon filter on the playstation?

    • clubseal

      Yes. Fairly ahead of its time, mechanics-wise.

      • Blackest Noobs

        but clunky compared to modern standards.

        • clubseal

          For sure – the PS1 curse. I remember being amazed at all of the different animations, such as hanging from a rope and the like, although now I’m not sure if Metal Gear Solid had done it first.

          • Blackest Noobs

            MGS totally blows SF away…but 1999 was definitely grand year for vid games…like MGS pushed the PS1 computing power like no other game before it….

          • clubseal

            If you’re in the mood for PS1 classics, I’d recommend one called Nightmare Creatures. It has a cool horror vibe (think Bloodborne) and presents a decent challenge. I think it flew under the radar pretty much on its release, but I always remembered the demo and bought it years later.

  • theblackdog

    I’ve had sex I’ve regretted, but it never crossed my mind to report any of them as rape, so what the fuck is this guy on?

    • yyyaz

      The last strand of DNA in his family history, I hope.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    He didn’t get to be editor-in-chief of Breitbart for nuttin’.

    • yyyaz

      There isn’t enough nuttin’ in the world he could do to find a clue.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Moar like Redditor or Predditor in chief, amirite?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      They have rigorous standards and only hire the top 4chan posters.

  • Oblios_Cap

    That Marlow is no Phillip.

    • ImGoingBacon

      nor Thomas.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Until women achieve political, economic and social parity with men, these types of guys need to STFU.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I would say they should do so even if/when that does happen. They’re just awful people, period, and unfortunately there are also women who agree with them.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I agree. But I don’t think we’ll ever be rid of awful people. We may be able to stop some of the acting out of their beliefs though. At least I hope so.

        • OppressedMass

          I have maintained for years that, at any given moment in American history, 27% of the population is irredeemably awful: bitter, racist, misogynist, hateful, self-righteous and ignorant. That’s just the way it is.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    I had to run an errand while the gay-video thread was still the latest article. I came back to see there was a new “Yes All Men” thread that had devolved into something terrible, and that someone in the comments had apparently been cruel to poor Anna-Elizabeth. I hate when this happens. We need to stick together, not become a circular firing squad ourselves.

    Trolls are not welcome, period. It’s one thing to have a civil disagreement if you can back it up with facts or even personal experience. But to deliberately set out to harm someone, whether physical threats or psychological manipulation or harassment, is not OK. We’ve all made mistakes, but we need to own them and do it better next time. Be like Canadia and say sorry, and then work together to take action on moving forward and find mutual healing and forgiveness.

    This is a sign for a school anti-bullying project that was made by 8-year-old Martin Richard, who died in the Boston Marathon bombings. It has a very simple lesson that I think everyone at one or more points in their life could stand to learn.

    https://c.o0bg.com/rf/image_960w/Boston/2011-2020/2013/04/16/BostonGlobe.com/Metro/Images/martin-richard-facebook.jpg

    • H0mer0

      [darn onion ninjas, sniff]

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I know politics makes strange bedfellows, but never in my LIFE did I think I might wake up next to Bill Kristol…

    https://twitter.com/morningmoneyben/status/933076983164137472
    https://twitter.com/BillKristol/status/933074207637991424

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Wow – it really is the End Times.

      • BadKitty904

        Up next: Dogs and cats, living together…

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
          Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”?
          Dr. Raymond Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
          Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
          Dr. Raymond Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
          Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…
          Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
          Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
          Mayor: All right, all right! I get the point!

          • BadKitty904

            See?

        • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
          • proudgrampa

            I am SHOCKED. Shocked, I say!

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          You’ve got a collapse of confidence in the currency. People are gonna panic. There’s gonna be gold riots, atonal music… political chaos, mass suicide.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbTn7Y9XAhA

          • BadKitty904

            …young girls showing their ankles and bosoms in public and saying rude things about the Queen!

        • SomeBigRedDog

          NEVAR!!!

          • BadKitty904

            IKR?

    • wait! what?

      It’s like that scene in the Pink video for “Raise Your Glass” where she wakes up in bed next to a priest.

      • proudgrampa

        I have not seen it, but I would watch it.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          It’s a great song. Even if you don’t watch the video.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
          • H0mer0

            [the babbies are adorbs also too]

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I love Pink.

    • proudgrampa

      Welcome to the Dark Side, Bill.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        We still have cookies, right?

        • proudgrampa

          Yes. Yes we do. And milk.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Canajun milk, right? Not that nukular steroid-laden stuff?

        • ImGoingBacon

          And those cakes we like.

          • H0mer0

            [spoken as an Old Spicy cake]

    • puredog

      Well, you’ll regret it, thass fer sher.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’m here for you if you wanna pig out on ice cream and wonder where it all started to go so wrong…

    • TundraGrifter

      Progressives have known for many, many years that reality has a liberal bias. Just open your mind up to the facts.

    • TakingAmes

      Billy boy, we’re all asking the very same question.

    • TJ Barke

      THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!

    • BeachLoafer

      Conservatism, in and of itself, does not make a person evil, or stupid. I’m not a conservative, but on many occasions I’ve felt better informed after reading Buckley, or Will, or even Kristol.

      Because I’m an old, I can look back fondly on a couple of Republican politicians I was proud to vote for, though sadly it’s been too many decades since I’ve had that opportunity. Believe it or not, there was a time when Republicans who were fiscal conservatives and social liberals roamed the earth.

      The point is that just because so many “conservatives” these days are stark raving batshit crazy it doesn’t mean that there can no longer be Conservative Intellectuals.

      Bill Kristol seems like he might be an intelligent man who’s seeing that conservatism and knee-jerk republican-ism are NOT the same thing.

      • James Baskin

        Make no mistake, the majority of republicans are no longer conservatives. They are redneck crackers. But the party brought this upon themselves.

        • BeachLoafer

          The current GOP doesn’t even pay passing respect to the conservatism they claim. At this point they’re nothing more than the “Racist Nationalist Evangelical” party, and the distance between Evangelical and actual Christians (like how I were raised) couldn’t be farther.

      • Pluto Animus

        I challenge anyone to cite a cogent Conservative political idea.

        (Fiscal Conservatism doesn’t count, as Republicans never practice this when in power in the White House and Congress.)

        I’m waiting….

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      We are as terrified as you are, Bill.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      A liberal is a conservative who watched Trump get elected.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    According to letters to the NY Daily News, women are doing this for the money. Is Soros giving out rape checks now?

    • proudgrampa

      It’s the new Soros Corporation Women’s Rights Recognition Program. Didn’t you get the memo?

    • BeachLoafer

      I’m SO over that Soros guy, he’s never sent me my librul checks for anything!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Back when — as the Breitbartian seems to recall — rape involved beating or screaming, the fact that a woman wasn’t bruised, scarred or hadn’t been heard from one street away was exonerating, right along with all the “what was she wearing and who did she date, and what did they do” bullshit that defense attorneys used to paint the accuser as the real evildoer.

    Now it’s back to “that girl is just lying.” Same fuckin’ misogynists, different fuckin’ day, same horrific idea that it’s the world’s fault they can’t treat other humans like chew toys.

  • Indiepalin

    By Marlow’s definition, anybody who ever had sex with Trump was raped.

    • Jamoche

      As was the whole country.

  • capnkrunch

    The new rule is not that we count sex one later regrets as rape, the new rule is that if you are not 100% certain that a woman wants to have sex with you, do not put your penis inside of her.

    This is why I’m a big fan of affirmative consent. It removes the ambiguity from the equation. I’ve heard other progressives say they don’t like the idea because of various reasons (i.e. having to explicitly ask ruins the mood). Here’s the thing though, if stopping to ask “sex, question mark?” is a high enough hurdle that it leads to you not having sex, you probably didn’t have your partner’s full consent in the first place.

    • TakingAmes

      Srsly. Consent is sexy. Asking for consent is also sexy. If you’re so awkward with this person that you can’t ask for what you want, should you really be having sex with them?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        There are those of us who are painfully shy, though. Can the ask work both ways?

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I just solve the problem by not bothering at all. Fucking is overrated.

          • clubseal

            Fucking libels.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            The fucking thing sucks…

          • clubseal

            Sounds like a terrible ad for a sex doll.

        • clubseal

          A simple “Are you sure you want to do this?” is easier than you think, and if it’s your partner’s first time, it can mean a lot that you made sure.

        • TakingAmes

          Of course. Though, I gotta ask, if one is painfully shy, how is one in the position (heh) of asking for or consenting to sex to begin with?

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Well, after high school, the shyness abated a bit. I’ve been asked, and later I learned to ask. Took a while, though. I certainly wasn’t a Chad Thundercock in my youth …

      • capnkrunch

        Yup. As a culture we need to redefine sexy and romantic away from the aggressive, dominating and frankly rapey way that it is often portrayed in romance films.

      • Boojum

        “Tell me you want me to fuck you” is generally not a mood killer.

        • H0mer0

          I’ll be in my bunk….

          • Boojum

            I’ll be right there.

        • TakingAmes

          Agreed.

      • theCryptofishist

        Oh for the days when Hollywood sex scenes include that, so that these people get some idea of how to do it, instead of just not knowing.

    • Vorhees

      “Excuse me, but just hypothetically speaking, you know, would you welcome a sexual advance now or perhaps a little later? Oh, that was an unwelcome sexual advance? Sorry!”

      Nope sorry – you need to be absolutely certain first. And she can’t tell you that explicitly, because then it’s her possibly making the unwanted sexual advance.

      • Vorhees

        Too be clear, I have a personal requirement for willing and enthusiastic participation.

      • capnkrunch

        Not really what I was talking about. Simply, before you put your penis inside someone else, hear them say “yes this is OK.” Not that complicated.

        • Vorhees

          I am all for Explicit Consent.

          But unwanted advance is too low. Although you should have SOME reason to believe it might not be unwanted beyond “how could any woman not want me” or “if you’re rich you can get away with it.”

    • Boojum

      Or, you could just use your penis as a sex toy until she grabs it and affirmatively rams it in.

    • Resistance Fighter Puipui

      Honestly, I just don’t understand the argument against affirmative consent. Isn’t it better just in general when they’re saying “Yes! Yes! Yes!” the whole time? Isn’t that kind of the point?

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    I solved my problem of women accusing me of rape because they had regretful sex (good God that’s stupid). I just fuck guys.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Ah, hmm. Gotta pic?

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        I’m devilishly handsome :)

  • Daniel
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Well, that’s a surprise.

    • James Baskin

      I’m telling ya…. if it goes to 51-49, they are fucked. And I’m hoping like hell that it’s a dry fuck.

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        and no poppers!

    • Here’s hoping his terrific streak of picking losers continues

  • clubseal

    Much of this could be remedied by being in a relationship with someone before having sex with them. Yes, in my younger days I had sex with women I’d just met, but there’s no ambiguity at all when you’ve been seeing someone for a while and you both end up with that hungry look in your eyes and it’s a fantastic release for both people. Maybe I’m just getting old.

    • h4rr4r

      It is nice when you have been with someone long enough that you don’t need to yell at each other to give loud and clear consent.

      If my wife leaves me or something I think I will become an atheist monk.

      • clubseal

        There’s also the huge plus (if you’re a considerate lover) of knowing all of your partner’s favorite things in bed (or on the kitchen counter, on the couch, etc.).

  • TJ Barke

    Yeah, because women that accuse men of rape have so much to gain…

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I do know a woman who decided that the consensual but awkward sex she had with a man was rape, in retrospect. All of her friends knew she was craving drama, and told her to shut her fucking pie hole.

    It’s not that it NEVER happens. And I can certainly understand why it would be something to be scared of. I had a man tell me that he felt like I had raped him (I had been the one who initiated sex and he didn’t object or lie still or anything; he actively participated, but still, hearing those words terrified me).

    But, of course, that’s not what Breitbart’s Home for Nervous Virgins is getting at.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Or, you could try and do something about slut shaming, so that women don’t actually see it as a problem when ignorant assholes (of any gender) call them sluts.

    Wait, I see the problem, that sentence includes the words “do something”.

    • Zannah Merrill

      it’s cool, we’re not on that.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    And, BTW, why does Sirius give these people money? Perhaps their subscribers might have something to say about this

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Here’s the thing…men shouldn’t be allowed to define rape, because historically it was whatever they said it was, and it wasn’t whatever they said it wasn’t. Currently, the laws define rape, and they are not very good at it either. Here’s an idea…let the victims define rape.

    The Bible says (in Deuteronomy) that it isn’t rape if a woman is raped in a town and she doesn’t scream, completely ignoring the fact that she might be unconscious or drugged or gagged.

    • theCryptofishist

      Or have a knife at her throat.

    • Zannah Merrill

      Or frozen in fear.

  • James Baskin

    ” Now it’s become, really, any sex that the woman ends up regretting that she had.”
    Bet you hear that a lot dude.

    • h4rr4r

      Assumes fact not in evidence, that he has sex.

    • Boojum

      I imagine women accuse him of rape because they felt him thinking about having bad sex with them. Or, at least, I hope they do.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    From “History Today” Volume 58 Issue 4 – an example of why we should not let men define what rape is, or write laws regarding it, or impose sentences upon it, without input from the victims, who are primarily women.
    Violence and the Law in Medieval England
    Male prejudice was highly apparent in rape cases. When rape was made a capital felony in 1285, jurors would condemn only those in holy orders as, unlike laymen, they could plead benefit of clergy to avoid the noose. The writings of misogynistic monks portraying women as stereotypical temptresses and latter-day Eves could twist opinions into expressing the view that some women deserved to be raped; the accused frequently resorted to the effective defence of besmirching the moral character of his victim. Rape, as an offence against the king’s peace, was a serious crime, but one with an extraordinarily high acquittal rate. Questions of proof of consent, the lack of witnesses, and the reluctance of an all-male jury to pass a death sentence all conspired to mitigate punitive legislation. A number of studies highlight this glaring injustice. In the English Midlands between 1400 and 1430, of 280 rape cases, not one led to a conviction. For the country as a whole in the first three-quarters of the thirteenth century, only one prosecution out of 142 resulted in so much as a fine. It was a similar story for Europe, where rape was also a common crime: in Brescia between 1414 and 1417, of over 400 criminal sentences, only four were for rape; in fourteenth- and fifteenth-century Cerisy in France, of 344 violent crimes appearing in the courts, only eight were rape cases; and fourteenth-century Nuremberg records only eight rapes in over 700 crimes. Judicial disincentives to rape were more theoretical than practical. The victim of rape had little recourse to justice and so might look to her own protection.
    http://www.historytoday.com/sean-mcglynn/violence-and-law-medieval-england

    In the absence of justice for rape victims, the punishment can be very severe. I asked my dad what happened in his day (1920’s and 30’s) if a woman was raped, and he said “Her father and brothers and uncles would find the man and shoot him one night. Everyone would know who did it, but nobody would tell.”

    • BosGrl

      What I find astounding is that these rape cases were still brought, even though the outcome was going to be acquittal. Thank you, long gone sisters, for not giving up.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        One of those sisters was Isabella Plomet, who in 1292 brought a legal complaint against Ralph de Worgan, a local physician, alleging that he abused his medical position to drug and rape her. The 13th-century jury recognized sex with an intoxicated person as assault and punished Ralph with a hefty fine.

        The records suggest that de Worgan was an experienced predator. Isabella had originally gone to Ralph complaining of pain in her leg. De Worgan told her that he could cure her, but only if she traveled with him to a neighboring town. Once they arrived, he gave her a narcotic drink, and when Isabella was incapacitated, Ralph raped her. She pressed charges. The case hinged on the jury believing her testimony over that of a learned doctor and landowner. Isabella must have been a very convincing witness, and a very brave woman.

        https://legalresearch.blogs.bris.ac.uk/2016/07/potions-and-prosecution-a-case-from-medieval-herefordshire/#more-292

        • BosGrl

          Fascinating.

        • mailman27

          Yclept ye olde Bille Cosby.

  • A Bashful Nobody

    The bar for rape conviction is still plenty high-a good thing. It boggles my mind that this fool might actually believe that a woman having had a bad sexual experience would accuse Mr. Limp Dick of rape.

  • BeachLoafer

    Robyn was appropriately gender-neutral about it, but I just want to clarify that “Oh god, I can’t believe I banged that loser” lists are not the sole province of women ;)

    • h4rr4r

      You consented, I have it on tape and the both the original and yellow copy.

    • george lastrapes

      I seem to remember this from a long time ago, that a feminist opined that if a client didn’t pay a sex worker for contractual sex, that sex became non-consensual, and therefore rape. Theft of services I can see, but this seems to go a little far…..Anyone else recall this?

      • Zannah Merrill

        It is an asshole cop joke about prostitutes, that rape is theft of services. Maybe liberal feminists should talk to sex workers before they go yappin’.

        For most full service workers it would have to be forcible rape because they will not provide services without being paid upfront. Otherwise it’s being ripped off or sex by fraud.

        • george lastrapes

          Did I say I was asking for a friend?

  • Boojum

    I would like to think I would have nothing to fear from retroactive bad sex regret, but my Dunning Kruger index falls on the wrong end of the scale.

  • moeman

    Josh Duggar just rubbed one out. Again.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Jesus wept.

      • guppy06

        “Jesus” is what Josh Duggar calls his dick?

  • William
    • James Baskin

      Well at least Akin, Mourdock, and Santorum are goners. Don’t know about the others.
      “In the emergency room they have what’s called rape kits.”
      Do tell!

      • RealCaitlinGoldstick

        Apparently it’s a device that cleans a woman out, even though the woman’s body can shut the whole thing down. Who are these women who refuse to shut it down but want to use MY TAX DOLLARS to get cleaned out? Ugh. So selfish.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        A kit?!!!?

        Why, back in the day, all we had was rape-by-numbers, and yet, we were able to figure it out.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        She seems to be confusing a rape kit with a D &C.

    • hudson

      for the men can we forcefully vote right in their balls?

      as for that woman, i have no words.

      • blaid droog

        Easier said than done. That is so ancient, so trite. Still, I have to wonder, when it becomes obvious that someone intends to do you harm isn’t it obvious that your best option is to fight back? Even as doctor Malfi was being raped by the employee of the month, I couldn’t help but yell at the tee vee, knee him in the nuts, gouge his eyes out, squeeze that aspirin between your knees. Pull that derringer out of your purse and blow his brains out.

        • Hm, well, if she was a physical super girl I guess she could do that?
          Rapists prey, though, generally speaking, on weaker targets. It is about power, not sex. And if the sonofabitch is going to kill you if you do not comply, you comply. Because it is worse to be dead despite how most societies consider a woman’s virtue more important than her actual life.

    • NastyBossetti

      It’s so nice to hear that ERs have rape kits that will just clean that rape right out of you, and it’ll be like it never even happened! God, these people are so incredibly stupid.

  • “Now rape’s become, really, any sex that the woman ends up regretting that she had.”

    Alex is familiar with a lot of disappointed women. He also inherited Andy’s old coke dealer.

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    I’m going to try to get 12 breitbart readers on my jury for my sexual assault cases. Only have to ask two questions of my client.

    Question: Is it correct you love Donald Trump, hate globalist cucks, and read breitbart? Yes.

    Question: And despite what these dozen women say, you didn’t do it? Yes.

    Jury: Not guilty!

    • BosGrl

      Ugh, I’m sorry for attorneys having to defend sexual assault cases. I know everyone deserves a rigorous defense, but it still must be difficult.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Tonight’s coping mechanism will be building a fortification for my step-son’s GI Joes with Lincoln logs. And probably a shower

        • BosGrl

          GI Joes and Lincoln Logs sound awesome. Have fun!

        • Charles Insandiego

          Lincoln Logs rock. I’m glad kids are still playing with them.

    • phoenix00
  • Walter Wellstone

    It baffles me that, to this day, there are women who vote Republican. I have zero respect for those women.

    • phoenix00

      53% of American white women, sadly.

    • Mark Harper

      If people could somehow be compelled to vote only for their interests and never against them, I believe they would rarely vote Republican. People are so often and so easily baffled into voting against their own interests by con-men who sell them on “Christian Fundamental Values” and gay bashing and pro-life and minority hate-mongering. It’s sad to see. Every time I read about yet another anti-LGBT, bible-beater caught having gay sex, or cheating on their spouses with mistresses, or demanding secret partners have secret abortions, it makes me despair. The hypocrisy is so deflating.

      • Walter Wellstone

        Republicans will always tell you who they’re against and rarely what they’re for. If they did very few people would vote for them. This tactic works because most people love a good scapegoat.

  • WIDTAP

    If you are afraid she might regret having sex with you — well — not only are you doing it wrong, but fuck man, where the hell did learn to fail so badly at meeting and talking up women?

    • guppy06

      Some of us didn’t sign up for that particular elective in college.

      • WIDTAP

        See, this is why you should have spent your time studying.

    • phoenix00

      Welcome to my life.

  • chronozoan

    Have you even bothered to contact both the women he’s (allegedly) had sex with?

    • Me not sure

      If rape means that they regret ever having had sex with someone wouldn’t he be a double rapist?

  • chimpevil

    I was an out gay man in college but my only sexual experiences previously were making out and oral sex. One night after a party in the dorms, I passed out, very drunk. I woke up very sore in my ass and when I went to the bathroom I saw that I was bleeding from my rectum. I went to the ER where I was told that my anus and rectal vault were torn by penetration by a hard object, probably a penis. I was 19 and so scared and could not admit that I was violated while I was drunk, so I played it off as rough sex. I never talked about this outside of therapy until now and never let a man penetrate me again. Fortunately, I met a wonderful man who I have been with for 10 years, but the utter shame of what happened will never leave me. I feel so much for women who have been so exploited by so-called men in this culture and so many others in this world. I am so glad these maggots are being finally exposed because no human deserves this shit. All women who have been harassed, abused and worse are my sisters and I love you.

    • Zannah Merrill

      Honey, I’m so, so sorry. You deserved so much better. SO. MUCH! Thank you for sharing, I’m so glad you found a lasting love. <3

      *hugs*

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m sorry that happened to you, it’s a shame people can be so disgusting, but I’m glad you met someone nice. Mazel Tov!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Thank you. And I’m so sorry you had to experience that.

    • Resistance Fighter Puipui

      This is so horrifying, and I’m so sorry that it happened. If this were a decent world, no one would ever have to through anything like this again.

      Thank you for sharing your story. You’re not alone, and hopefully as more people tell their personal stories, more people will pay attention, and maybe eventually there will be fewer stories like this to be told.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Thank you for your courage to tell us about your experience.I think it is important to know this does happen to men too. We all need to have each others backs to stop this. I wish you much love and healing.

    • Sekhmet1

      Thank you, and I am sorry. I am glad you are okay (well, that’s probably a poor choice of words – I’m glad you are safe and have a loving partner, and are living a good life, I should say). Much love to you. The impact never leaves us, and will always be part of our history.

  • Relativicus

    I have never had a problem not having sex with women who don’t want to have sex with me. The pool of such women is quite large, so I have little trouble not having sex with hundreds of women who don’t want to have sex with me. At the same time, no less. In fact, I’m not having sex with women who don’t want to have sex with me at this very moment. But I’m no hero. I’m just some guy whose cup is overflowing with women who don’t want to have sex with me. I throw my old condoms out one box at a time, just like you.

    • mailman27

      I think I’ve met most of these women. There’s just no pleasing them! I guess. I mean, I don’t really know, per se…

  • Delu

    The “regret” line from fucknugget Marlow is telling because this is pretty much a strawman assertion that all rape is actually CONSENSUAL in nature and only considered “rape” after the fact when the woman “regrets” it!

    Of course rape and sexual assault usually don’t leave much for regret considering that a.) regret stems from a CHOICE made by the person in question that they later come to disagree with, and b.) sexual assault and rape are not a choice or not because of choices usually!

    Fucknugget Marlow is not only trivializing rape for his own convenience, he is in fact redefining it, and based on an old myth about rape that asserts that women actually like or accept getting raped.

  • Mavenmaven

    Bannon, Marlow, and (until not too long ago) Ben Shapiro. Why does one not believe everything Breitbart has to say on the matter of sex?

  • OrG

    If they were poor and/or black they would be more afraid of being falsely accused/convicted of murder.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I was just flipping through the Innocence Project’s webpage, and there did seem to be an over representation of black men. I clicked on one kind of funny looking white guy’s story, and here it is:
      Dwayne Allen Dail served 18 years in North Carolina prisons for a 1987 rape before DNA testing on crime scene evidence proved his innocence. He was released from prison in 2007 after serving nearly half his life behind bars.
      The Crime And Investigation

      On September 4, 1987, a man crawled through the window of a Goldsboro, North Carolina, apartment and raped a 12-year-old girl living there. The girl identified Dwayne Allen Dail as her attacker and he was charged with burglary, rape and other related charged. Hairs collected from the crime scene were submitted for forensic testing and an expert found that Dail’s hairs were microscopically consistent with the evidence from the crime.”

      He was later exonerated by DNA. The weird part is that he really doesn’t look like anyone I’ve ever seen, so it’s surprising that he would be misidentified. Most of these men served decades in jail, for crimes (mostly rapes) they didn’t commit.

      • JCfromNC

        Just as an aside: Hair comparison as a forensic tool has been shown to be little more than useless quackery. So not surprising that a conviction based on it would turn out to be bogus.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Yes, pre DNA there was a lot of quackery, and there are still dishonest lab technicians. One of the cases I read on their webpage mentioned a woman who was fired after 20 years working in the lab, because she was falsifying evidence. I guess she thought she was helping to put away the bad guys, meanwhile, she was helping to jail innocent people for decades.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Hmmm, wonder how many of these guys were, um, rich in melanin and poor in every other sense?

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Oddly, it was very out of proportion to the general population.

      • Brucehenry

        My sister, an attorney, actually helped prove Dail was not guilty.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Hey! That’s pretty cool. I’m glad he finally got out, because I’m sure it wasn’t fun being in prison, and having people think you were a child rapist. Tell your sis thanks for her hard work.

  • I don’t really imagine that too many women regret having had sex with him, on account of the fact that I think enough of women that I assumed they’d have avoided the sex to begin with…

    • phoenix00

      I think most women know potential regret before they experience actual regret, especially around Marlow.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “According to the National Registry of Exonerations, since records began in 1989, in the US there are only 52 cases where men convicted of sexual assault were exonerated because it turned out they were falsely accused.”

    I read years ago that most of the men who were exonerated by DNA by the Innocence Project were men who had been accused of rape (and sometimes rape and murder). This makes sense, because rapists almost always leave DNA, while murderers don’t necessarily do the same. I checked their website and randomly clicked on a few cases, the three that I clicked on were all rape (or rape/murder) cases. One of the cases involved two women who swore the defendant was the man who raped them. There have been 352 men freed by the Innocence Project, and god only knows how many more are languishing in prison, or prior to DNA testing, DIED in prison, so I think that saying there were only 52 cases, is just plain wrong.

    • I think it is meant here by lyin people. Those witnesses who swore it was him,when it turned out to be not him, very likely had mistaken identity, and were not just lying to jam people up.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Oh, no, I don’t think they were lying to set the guy up. They certainly BELIEVED that the men had raped them. They were just wrong. I thought that man who was accused of rape by a woman, and later exonerated, went on a tour together with her to talk to people about rape. Talk about being gracious!

        • C4TWOMAN

          That is awesome.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            It makes me kind of sick to think of the people who languish for decades in prison, for crimes they didn’t commit.

      • C4TWOMAN

        This point keeps getting conflated.
        False rape accusation does not mean there wasn’t a rape, just the wrong guy, and could we please catch the right guy?

    • Maybe

      In these cases the wrong me were convicted, but the rapes were probably real. Especially those accompanied by murder.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Oh, the rapes were definitely real, but I believe Robyn claimed that only 52 men who were ever convicted of rape had been falsely accused. I beg to differ.

  • without the consent of the victim

    Oh I see the problem. Yeah that word consent? They don’t think women should be allowed that.

    • guppy06

      What if you get the victim’s mother’s permission?

      • Indeniable Ron

        Did her mother check with her father first?

  • bubbuhh

    This article assumes Alex Marlow has had teh sex wif wimmenz who weren’t ackshully inflatable dolls.

    • H0mer0

      He’s an attractive fellow, that is until he opens his mouth. I suggest he open his mouth to communicate more with his partner about what feels good to her rather than spread misogynist information based on a sense of entitlement.

  • Maybe

    Actually rape is when a woman, after sex, regrets being raped.

  • mailman27

    I know exactly what Marlow is talking about. I was talking to this young female librarian once, and everything was casual- I believe we were discussing certain books located in a quiet corner of the library. Suddenly, she took her glasses off, let her hair down, and everything changed as the music swelled and….. Then she claimed I assaulted her!! Get in touch if you’ve had a similar experience.

    • phoenix00

      I experienced something like this watching a porno. Does this count?

      • Vacuous Virgina

        But … did you stay at a Holiday Inn?

  • Wookie Monster

    Nothing really new here. I’ve been hearing rape apologists making the exact same claims twenty-five years ago. Apparently, every rape apologist knows someone who knows someone who knows someone whose life was ruined because a woman regretted having sex with him.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    …because when words lose their meaning, then they can be manipulated.

    Out of the mouths of babes.

    • At the crossroads, stay strong

      When referring to the Breitbart editorial policy, the entire English language loses its meaning.

      • Becky

        I am enjoying these comments so much. Thank goodness for the intelligence and senses of humor.

        • H0mer0

          [comments aren’t allowed on wonkette]

  • guppy06

    It’s about the fear that if they have to really make sure that the woman they are about to have sex with really wants to have sex with them, that she will immediately come to her senses, realize they are repulsive, and run the hell away.

    Hell, I’ve lived there since high school at least. But I don’t also have a sense of entitlement along with it.

  • Mark Harper

    Hmmm. Ok, I hate to appear to go against the grain here, but the facts (and studies which I’ve commented on here from The National Sexual Violence Resource Center) show about 2 to 7% of sexual assault reports, depending on the study and sample, are deemed “false.” I don’t know how those 2-7% are deemed false. So, while I certainly agree that nearly all assault claims are true, some simply are not. I’ve seen it twice in my own life, once a client I represented admitted to fabricating a story to campus police about being raped when she feared her boyfriend would leave her if he knew she consented. Could she truly have been raped but lied about lying? Sure. But she tearfully apologized, before a judge, for nearly destroying a male student’s life by crafting a story to hide her guilt and shame. That did happen. I’m certainly not a misogynist, but you appear to be conflating the first two scenarios before concluding – “that is not a thing that happens in real life.” The second one probably doesn’t (the guy across town who is bad at sex and thus deemed a rapist). The first one sounds closer to the kind of shame and regret that CAN, in very rare cases, motivate someone to revise history. You may not have personally seen it, or you may not believe it, but I think people are complicated and that shame, guilt and fear are powerful emotions. I also believe every one of the recent accounts being reported, because I’m compelled by the 93 to 98% likelihood that I’m right to believe. I don’t know what happened to anyone if I wasn’t there. But facts and statistics are persuasive, but if some reports are false, why do they happen at all? I’m not privy to why the 2-7% are false. But I am not pursuaded that your first scenario is necessarily 100% fiction.

    • Regret

      Probability is a harsh mistress, our minds are not made for it.

      • H0mer0

        yet this mistress stands behind soo much scientific theory (I didn’t realize for years that the shapes of electron orbitals were based on mathematical probability)

    • Lily412

      Yes, it does happen, rarely. Robyn is aware. She’s mentioned it in other articles.

    • MAZS

      So let’s let the 2%-7% wag the tail. Your attempt at balance only belies a false equivalency.

      • Mark Harper

        I never suggested the 2-7% was in any way equal, morally or otherwise, to the vast, overwhelmingly true 90+%. I was addressing only the absolute conclusion “that isn’t a thing that happens.” However, I recognize the danger that simply addressing an issue can make people assume you are championing one side or the other. I find the mere thought of these crimes repulsive. There is clearly only one moral position here. I was speaking about the results of studies. But your comment is understood.

    • Iam Reading

      I’m not certain that whataboutism and a nod to false equivalency is entirely appropriate at this point in time.

      • Mark Harper

        Agreed.

      • Mark Harper

        The reason I found the research results in the first place was to refute what that lunatic, Sean Hannity was peddling last week by having an attorney come on his show and suggest, vaguely and without facts, that false reports of assault happen “much more than people realize” and that true reports were “few and far between.” Her comments were offensive and absurd. So, if I brought up the 2-7% in that context, was I engaging in whataboutism or suggesting moral equivalency?

        • Iam Reading

          Based on that context, no. I can only react to what you post, not what you think. I’m happy the attorney who made that dubious claim lost her position.

    • Sekhmet1

      2-5% is the statistic here too. In my experience as a prosecutor, this happens most often when a complainant (of whatever gender) is experiencing delusions. Sometimes it’s malicious or for some other reason, but those cases are usually weeded out well before they get to court.

      Flip that around, and that means 95-98% of allegations reported are not false in the sense of being deliberate lies or arising from false memories or delusions. By contrast, allegations that aren’t proven to the criminal standard are not necessarily deemed “false”, just means a jury wasn’t satisfied beyond reasonable doubt.

      Victoria Police and the Australian Institute of Family Studies recently published a resource debunking myths associated with sexual abuse, with a comprehensive bibliography of peer reviewed studies from all over the world – I’d suggest old mate MGTOW and his Breitbart buddies read it but he’d only be interested in things that back up his ridiculous preconceptions. (I’d link it but my phone will not let me paste the damn link!)

      • Mark Harper

        Interesting. I agree about Breitbart and pals (Hannity, Fox “News”, etc.), they run from facts and generally traffic in rumor, myth, false assumptions, lies and conspiracy theories. Truth doesn’t as readily and consistently enrage the base. As we both know, evidence must be “more probative than prejudicial.” Hannity and pals care little for the probative, and adore the prejudicial.

  • Vacuous Virgina

    “This line of reasoning is easily debunked when one imagines how many women out there likely regret having had sex with Alex Marlow and somehow have not yet accused him of rape.”

    aot, k 😎😎😎

  • John Robinson

    “It’s about the fear that they are so bad at fucking..”

    Well, yeah – why do you think there’s this historical focus on young (presumably virgin) girls? No experience = nothing to compare you to.

    • george lastrapes

      Joke: Why are American women such bad judges of distance? Because all along they’ve been told that this is ten inches (holds thumb and forefinger about two inches apart).

      • (((Aron)))

        Hi-O!

      • H0mer0

        that joke is so old, I fell off my dildo dinosaur…

        • george lastrapes

          There was a time when that joke, and I too, were young and dewy-fresh and uncynical and blablablah. We’ve been through a lot, that joke and I.

  • Zyxomma

    Robyn, I marvel at your ability to peer into the sewer that is MGTOW, incel etc., without losing your sense of humor. I’m grateful for all the Wonkette writers and non-commenters; you’re one of the reasons I’m still sane.

    • (((Aron)))

      Crazy? I was crazy once.

      They put me in a rubber room. With rubber rats.

      They drove me crazy.

      Crazy? I was crazy once.

      They put me in a rubber room. With rubber rats.

      They drove me crazy.

      Crazy? I was crazy once.

  • Becky

    What a great article. Thank you so much.

  • Iam Reading

    It isn’t that hard to not be accused of rape. I will never understand rape or harassment mentality, but I will always fight against it.

    • Sakonyachen

      I’ve made it 44 years. Accused of being a Dog, a Pig, a Womanizing Scumfuck, and various other unflattering things that were sometimes true, but not rape.

      I had lots of sex that I am not proud of(call it a humblebrag if you like, but if there were pictures you’d know I’m not bragging), and neither were the other participants. They may have blamed booze, weed, or my supposedly magical way with words that somehow makes women forget that they are above sleeping with me, but never force. It wasn’t even my agenda, I just didn’t rape anyone.

  • Mike Conley

    Hey Alex – go fuck yourself. Then ponder the cosmic rapeyness of it all as you staunch the butt blood.

    • H0mer0

      that’s kinda graphic but your heart is in the right place so upfisted

      (tee hee! double entendre)

  • H0mer0

    some of us fly our slut flag with impunity. What upon earth has brought upon this unholy marriage between the incels, the MRAs and the Frightfarts?

  • harryeagar

    Easy solution: Switch to having casual sex with guys. They never complain afterward.

  • Sakonyachen

    “I don’t think I know a single person that doesn’t have at least one entry on their “Oh god, I can’t believe I banged that loser” list.”

    SAKONYACHEN LIBULZZZ!!!!1!!!11!!

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