SHARE
Farm boy, make me a pie.

Just last week, you were talking to your Thanksgiving host, and you made the mistake of being polite and asking if there is anything you can bring. And she said, “Oh, you’re so thoughtful; something for dessert would be great!” So demanding! Do not fret. Today we share with you (for you to share with your friends on social media) a Buttercup Squash Pie recipe, so you can say, “As you wish.”

Yes, it’s very similar to pumpkin or sweet potato pie, but it’s different enough to generate conversation and non-traditional enough to deter your reactionary uncle from even tasting it. Buttercup squash are squat, ugly little bastards. If you can’t find one, you can do this with butternut or acorn squash, or some combination of all of them. We’re using buttercup squash mostly because we love Gilbert and Sullivan, almost as much as Adam West’s Batman does:

Buttercup Squash Pie

1 pie dough in a pie pan (Here’s Mojopo’s recipe, but you only need half of it)
1 buttercup squash (alternatively 1 butternut or 2 acorn squash)
1 cup sugar
1 cup milk
2 shots of dark rum
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ginger (the dried powder kind)
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/4 teaspoon mace
3 eggs, separated (plus the yolk leftover from making this)

Set the oven to 400° F. Cut the squash in half, around its equator, and scoop out the seeds with a spoon.

IMG_0207

Line a cookie sheet with tin foil, and put a little water on it. Place the squash halves, cut side down, on the cookie sheet, and bake until soft, about 30 minutes.

Carefully remove the skin from the squash, put the flesh in a large bowl, and mash it with your potato masher.

Let that cool (put the bowl outside, if it’s cold where you live) while you get your pie dough into the pan.

Turn the oven up to 425° F.

The squash cool enough to handle? Great! Add to it the spices, sugar, milk, egg yolks, and half of the rum. Beat that until it is fully combined and smooth.

Drink the other shot of rum. (That’s what they call a “tot” on the HMS Pinafore.)

Now, whip the egg whites until stiff but not dry.

Stiff peaks for Buttercup, like a young man watching The Princess Bride

Fold the egg whites into the squash mixture. Do you know how to do that? Mix 1/3 of the whites into the squash stuff with a whisk. Add half of what’s left of the egg whites (or another 1/3 of the original amount for you algebra enthusiasts) and run your rubber spatula or wooden spoon along the bottom of the bowl away from yourself, then kinda scoop it back toward you, “folding” the mixture over the whites. Turn the bowl a quarter turn and repeat. Do this until the egg whites are fully incorporated. Gently fold in the remaining egg whites until it’s almost all the way incorporated, but a few small streaks of white remain.

Pour the filling into the prepared pie dough. This is going to be way more than you need for one 9-inch pie, so be creative with the rest or throw it away.

Put it in the oven for 10 minutes, then reduce the heat to 300° F. Bake for an additional hour or so, until a toothpick comes out clean and the crust is golden brown and delicious.

IMG_0231

If your Thanksgiving host is any damn good at hosting Thanksgiving, there will be plenty of whipped cream available to dollop on slices. We’re eating it with vanilla ice cream today for our health. We will wait until next week to begin drinking heavy cream by the quart.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    New diet plan: skip dinner and just have dessert. Looks yummy!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      New diet plan: eat until food coma.

    • Fartknocker

      I worked out every day this week and I’ll be in the gym on Friday because this is my favorite holiday. People share food and drink. Plus, double bonus points because my brother in law got pissed when I texted him “MAGA = Mueller Ain’t Going Away” and decided he didn’t want to hang out with his liberal sister and her gubber-ment- job-taking husband this year.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        “MAGA = Mueller Ain’t Going Away”

        Shaelessly stolen and tweeted!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Life is uncertain — eat dessert first.

  • Michael R

    Which room is pie being served in ?
    I’ve looked in every room .

    • Jenny

      I watched Martha Stewart, high on cocaine, wander through her home showing off her shit in the search for the perfect thanksgiving party room. Circa 1990.

      Three or four rooms later she says my custom built party room half an acre away will be perfect for this party! But you know, you poors can empty out a living room or something…

  • BaconzDone

    I have yet to see a mashed potato recipe. Are we going to post one? Or does some one want to give me one that will “blow me away”. Keep in mind I’m Irish and make kick ASS mashies

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’m not sure how to get 1/4 teaspoon of the mace. Which end do I use?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d82e26450c00b4ba9828b54cb5b8700e1e1470304431dff3ccbb784e1946529.jpg

    • Shanzgood
      • OutOfOrbit

        trouble has arrived

        • The Wanderer

          And then the murders began.

        • Shanzgood

          Hey, now!

      • Me not sure

        Don’t rub your eyes.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Since I like spicy, I plan to use that instead of Pan.

    • Crank Tango

      I sprayed it all in my eyes. Now what?

    • Me not sure

      Isn’t that a flail? Can that substitute?

      • Oblios_Cap

        It really is, but it is legally a substitute.

    • The Wanderer

      Direct from Morning-star Farms!

  • Joe Beese
  • Oblios_Cap
  • Joe Beese
  • Joe Beese
    • The Wanderer

      Wow. The Trump Administration, acting like junior high school girls.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Acting like?

        • The Wanderer

          You win.

      • SayItWithWookies

        If they really want to get him off the phone, someone just needs to look out the window and say “Hey, isn’t that Maybelle from the drill time walking past the house?”

    • BaconzDone

      Trump is not in charge. In fact I’m sure the white house staff is doing a “floating presidency” type thing now.

      “Hey Marla, when your done polishing the silverware we need you to be the leader of the free world for 2 or 3 hours”

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I see it more as their all carving out their own little fiefdoms in the admin, since the Drumpfsterfire has no idea who’s doing what, especially not himself. There’s probably some turf battles on and off, but I bet they’re more or less learning they can get all along if they just cut him out of everything.

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        That’s why I’m not worried about him launching nukes. They have a plan so that he’s not the last word on that, and no one cares whether or not that’s legal.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Not surprising, he has never really been in charge of anything. Why start now?

    • Oblios_Cap

      What a bunch of fucking idiots.

  • As it is not Thanksgiving in NotAmerica, it is a regular work day for. I am on my lunch break, attempting to caffinate

  • Fartknocker

    The recipe used the word “equator.” I love recipes that employ geospatial references.

    • vivian

      I have trouble with them and occidentally mix up the wrong ingrediments.

      • Doug Langley

        You just have to use the right brain hemisphere.

        • vivian

          I knew I left something out.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    gah, sick to my stomach…5 recipe posts in a row.

    • I’m going to Costco tonight, like a crazy person

      • OutOfOrbit

        donut go there hungry!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i got sick twice from 5 to 7 am and decided too call off for the day at work.

        (that’s canadians call it right? call off?)

        • My office calls it a book off. But in my head, it’s “you better be sick, lazy bastard!”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            technically I think call off is more of a brit thing

          • Doug Langley

            I once had a boss who bragged that when he wanted a day off he’d call in sick. He called it “slick leave”.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Sometimes I get eye problems. And I can’t see going to work.

        • Doug Langley

          What’s wrong?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            dunno – too much to eat too late last night? I was fucking hoping it wasn’t a stomach bug, as I felt like garbage this morning.

            And it could always just be stress.
            (For those wondering, I did not have so much as a SIP of alcohol last night, so not hung over.)

          • Pregnant?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            …that would be much bigger news to EVERYONE if true.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Call the Enquirer!

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            Checks out on Web MD.

          • Doug Langley

            Hope you get better by Turkey Day.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            we’re not doing anything big, so I’m not too worried about that.

            But thanks!

            (What’s up with you? I been going to the gym after work lately, so haven’t seen you).

          • Doug Langley

            Yeah. I post, but it’s gone when you come in. Bank and police both investigating my stolen/forged check. Not refunded yet. Unemployment not paying yet, need to check on that. So if something doesn’t budge in a week or two, can’t pay rent. Talked with another recruiter this morning, got a job that sounds right up my alley, well, we’ll see. Still signed up for 2 classes spring semester. Drove to school today to pick up the textbooks. NOBODY there, school deserted. But – they never cleared out on day before Thanksgiving before?? I’m confused, and definitely feeling abandoned. Will visit restaurant for turkey day, probably Boston Market. Good food and less crowded than other places.

          • Jenny

            My son puked up his guts Tuesday morning. He is fine now and no one else seems to be sick.

          • Doug Langley

            Once, the boss invited me to Thanksgiving feast at his house. Great, but I got food poisoning.

          • Crystalclear12

            Well, there’s your problem.
            Liquor would’ve killed that bug!
            This was brought to you by the Excuses for Drinking Foundation.

          • Doug Langley

            Yeah, sounds exactly like stomach bug. That’s just how I think. “I feel awful. I’m sure it’s not a problem. I just ate too much. Yes, that’s it. It’s just stress. Just indigestion. Just – BARRRRRF!!!!”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            thhhaaaat’s pretty much it…you know at some point you’re just like, “i know i’ll feel better if i just get this out of the way.”

          • Doug Langley

            Exacta-mundo. I spend hours thinking “I am NOT going to puke, I am NOT. It’s just an upset stomach. It’s just stress. It’ll go away – oh fuk, who am I kidding?” Then I go into bathroom, relieve myself, flush, wash face, get back into bed and I’m like “Ahhhhhhhhhh. . . . .”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            IKR?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            we think we just figured it out – all the milk i the fridge smells bad and taste just slightly off.

      • Thiazin Red

        Back when I worked in a grocery store, a surprising number of people would buy everything for dinner thanksgiving morning.

        • Joe Beese

          And when they found the nutmeg was sold out, things got ugly fast.

          • Another thing i keep in my house at all times

          • efoveks

            Then the murders began!

          • Thiazin Red

            I’m not 100% sure the shitty store I worked in carried nutmeg.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          I shop for Christmas gifts on Christmas morning. They have the classics: NASCAR BIC lighters, poo emoji key chains, souvenir bandanas, Cheetos, cigarettes, 3.2 beer….

          • efoveks

            OMG, do you shop at the 7-11? LOL!

          • Oblios_Cap

            A box of tampons and Marlboro Lights…

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, in jail.

          • efoveks

            What? No ramen??

          • efoveks

            Now both are about the same price! Thanks Bloomberg!

          • Oblios_Cap

            We need some celery and a can of fake snow
            A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
            A box of tampons and some Salem Lights

            I had the wrong brand. So sue me.

          • marxalot

            Make Bloody Marys ’cause we all want one!

          • Oblios_Cap

            A.A.

          • Historicat

            If you can convince everyone to hold Christmas after the 25th, you could get some great deals.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Mr. MinS and I exchange our gifts on 12th Night, or 3 Kings Day, January 6. As our former priest in NYC said it’s theologically sound and fiscally prudent.

      • efoveks

        Costco is LITERALLY across the street from me. I’ll be that crazy person in the parking lot waving at you!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Joe Beese

      What happened to just getting tanked on red wine?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Dunno.
        Not a big wine drinker.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        What are we all French now?

        Swap your prescription medications like the rest of us ‘Mericans.

      • SayItWithWookies

        That’s fine for starters. It’s a long day, though.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Diversify!

      • Crank Tango

        Not into headaches and purple teeth anymore. Make mine a rum drink!

    • SDGeoff3

      My late brother and I would go out after dinner and sit in his truck and drink, and bake…here’s to you, Bip!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Thiazin Red

      I still think that there isn’t much left to show in an Obi-Wan movie. Between the movies and the tv shows everything his life is pretty well covered. The only thing that would be interesting to me is maybe the early adventures with Satine.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Maybe.
        I just want moar Star Wars movies to flush the prequel crap down the ol’ memory hole.

        • Thiazin Red

          Clone Wars goes a long way towards redeeming it. Anakin is competent and likable! Padme gets things to do! The villains get interesting development and shit makes sense! They acknowledge that the Jedi are kind of shit.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Stop trying to make those wastes of celluloid acceptable!

            Seriously though, there are a few good scenes in the prequels, but they’re mostly crap IMHO.

          • Thiazin Red

            What if I told you that Clone Wars even makes Boba Fett interesting and gives him a real story?

          • MynameisBlarney

            And I would agree.
            It’s one of the few good things about those movies.
            But.
            The dialogue is fucking horrible.
            Jar-Jar.
            Midichlorians.
            R2-D2 could fly.
            There’s more, but that’s just off the top of my head.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Don’t get me going about how they portrayed Spock!

          • MynameisBlarney

            And Bones!

            GAH!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Clone Wars was the best of a bad lot, for sure. And the CGI had really hit its apex by that point, and was well used.

          • Stulexington

            I really like what they do with Dooku, he becomes the quintessential anti-Jedi. Charismatic, ruthless and loyal.

      • Joe Beese

        In between the trilogies is 20 years of him living alone in his dome on Tatooine. Force-switching the TV channel, dickering with the Jawas…

        • MynameisBlarney

          Trolling the Sand People.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Now that we’ve dispensed with the starters, sides, and desserts, let’s move on to the main course… this particular turkey right here:

    https://www.gq.com/story/donald-trump-turkey-pardon

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
      • efoveks

        Ew. Your turkey looks… aroused. Self aroused in fact.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          In trump voice: “I am the biggest, juiciest, the juices just drip from me, drip, drip, drip, I am the tastiest turkey. After you taste me you’ll want to go on a hunger strike, but you’ll want more.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        GODDAMMITALLTOHELL, SKWERL!!!

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Whaaa? This guy likes it.
          “I can’t wait for that Trump bird…”

          https://i.makeagif.com/media/8-09-2015/V0y2Xm.gif

          • TundraGrifter

            Hard to believe, but I saw him on the TVs yesterday and he was actually making sense about the “Judge” Roy Moore situation.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            That’s because he knows midwesterners aren’t all down with that kiddie-diddling shit. Tuscaloosa shrugs at pedophilia , but Madison gets its back up.

          • puredog

            This. It’s even money, seems to me, whether Roy-o survives this scandal come election day in the fetid bogs of Alabammy. When he gets out into the real world, it’ll be ugly.

      • Shanzgood

        Gah! No!

      • gallbladder

        Hard to tell which is the head and which is the pope’s nose.

      • OutOfOrbit

        i recommend self-emulation

        • The Wanderer

          Self-emasculation?

  • Joe Beese
    • Amy

      Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
      On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      fu350d:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleLegitimateSpaceJobsFromHomeJobs/get/hourly ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fu350lhhh

    • Rhonda

      Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
      On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      fi222d:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleNetJobsConsultWorkFromHome/more/cash ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fi222lh

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Marion in Savannah

      Hell, being that cute is impressive as all get out.

    • gallbladder

      Sounds like a certain president* we all know (yeah, I know, I know, “hedgehog liblez!!111!!!111!!”)

  • marxalot

    I drink heavy cream by the glass because fuck it I have to get my calories from somewhere, and I haven’t had an appetite for two weeks.

    • Shanzgood

      What happened to your appetite?

      • marxalot

        Sinus infection. It’s on its way out– I should have a good appetite for tomorrow’s fried chicken and cranberry brunch.

    • Crank Tango

      Show-off.

      Jk I hope you are ok.

    • TundraGrifter

      Real eating begins when you’re full. Anybody can eat when you’re hungry.

      Seriously – for once – good luck and I hope your appetite finds its way home. I use to go visit my family for the Holidays which meant there was a lot more food but I’d cut back on the weed and just not be so very hungry all the time.

    • Arolpin

      That would be gauche. You’re supposed to put a couple spoonfuls of granola (or grape nuts if you’re an OLDZ) in a bowl and pour the cream on that. Add more cream as needed.

  • William
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      So long and thanks for all the Ocean Spray?

    • gallbladder

      What the fuck are people doing harvesting cranberries in dolphin bogs anyways? Outrageous.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Besides, what porpoise does it serve?

    • SDGeoff3

      Canned dolphins??11!! You unredeemable MONSTER!

    • shivaskeeper

      Are cranberry bog dolphins in any way related to puddle sharks?

      Puddle sharks are a common problem when dealing with horses.

    • Arolpin

      I guess that would explain why you never hear about dolphins suffering from urinary tract infections.

  • Serai 1

    So here’s my Killer Casserole. I’ve never brought or served this without getting raves.

    Killer Casserole

    9 oz Cream Cheese, softened
    4 tbsps Butter
    6 tbsps milk
    12 oz Artichoke Hearts, drained and squeezed to remove water
    30 oz Spinach (packed in water, NOT oil), drained and squeezed
    1 lb Mushrooms, sliced
    Pepper to taste
    Paprika
    Cayenne
    Jack Cheese, grated

    Preheat oven to 375°. Grease a casserole dish.

    Beat the Cream Cheese and Butter together until smooth and fluffy, while gradually adding the Milk; set aside. You want the sauce to be spreadable but not thin. It should sit on top of the spinach instead of sinking into it, but too thick and you’ll have a hard time getting it to spread without pulling the spinach up with it. Start with a fair thickness and then add milk until you get the right consistency. Oh, and it helps to make more than you think you’ll need, just in case. (You can always use it later, as it solidifies in the fridge and is perfect for toast!)

    Layer the bottom and sides of the dish with the drained Artichokes; top with a layer of Spinach, then a layer of Mushrooms. Pour some Sauce over to cover, sprinkle with Pepper, Paprika and Cayenne, then another layer of Spinach. Pour the rest of the Sauce to cover. Top with a layer of grated Cheese. Finish with another sprinkling of the Seasonings. (At this point you can wrap the casserole in foil and put in the fridge until cooking time.)

    Bake the casserole covered for 30 minutes. Remove the cover and bake for 10 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and golden. Let the casserole rest for 10 minutes before serving. (The cheese is too hot to serve straight out of the oven.)

    You can play with the layers as much as you like, adding more ingredients or more layers of what’s here. It’s a very adaptable dish, but I recommend you do it by the recipe the first time. It’s simple, but smashing!

    • Doug Langley

      I seem to recall having some kind of artichoke/cheese casserole once, and it was food of the gods.

      • Serai 1

        This thing is incredible, and it’s easy to make. Bring it to the table and you will have instant fans.

    • SDGeoff3

      Oh my. We like the sound of this one! (And I just discovered Morton and Bassett’s Smoked Paprika!)

      • Serai 1

        It’s so good. Oh, and it’s the artichokes that are supposed to get the water-packed note, not the spinach. Fixed that now.

        • SDGeoff3

          That’s ok. You know that most of us are going to adapt it right away! I think it looks splendid.Thanks so much!

    • Marion in Savannah

      What kind of spinach are we talking about? “Packed in water?” I haz a confooze.

      • SDGeoff3

        I always use fresh. It sets in very nicely, and you can’t beat the flavor.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Or frozen, which would work in something like this.

          • SDGeoff3

            When using frozen, I like the leaf spinach rather than chopped.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Yes, fresh spinach is easy enough to get if you live near a store with a produce department. Always go fresh, if you can.

      • Serai 1
    • Cock Blockula

      Spinach packed in oil has got to be worse than CANNED CLAMS! Or right up there with!

      (We do not do evil things to our frozen and canned spinach here on the West Coast.)

      (Saving this recipe though… sounds delish!)

  • TundraGrifter

    My wife makes her pumpkin pie with a ginger snap crust. It is excellent! I want to try it with a Key Lime Pie. I think the ginger crust and tart lime filling would go together very well.

    • SisterArtemis

      I did that one year – it was delicious. I really should do it more often.

      • TundraGrifter

        Or mix of ginger snaps and those chocolate wafer cookies that are perfect for “ice box cake.” An old tyme favorite!

        • puredog

          My semi-sainted and long-deceased mother would agree with that estimation.

    • puredog

      Immabout 75% of the way through assembling a passionfruit meringue tart. The crust — I humbly observe — seems to have come out perfectly, the curd resides in the icebox, and tomorrow at the last minute I will assault the heights of meringue.

  • The Wanderer

    Well, swat my hind with melon rind: Trudeau to apologize for ‘gay purge.’

    • Oblios_Cap

      Wow. It’s like Canada is a civilized country.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        They really are going to have to start using that quantum Timbit system. Math ran out of numbers for the list of all the things Canada does better than the USA.

        • Oblios_Cap

          I’m glad I have that Canadian girlfriend!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Vlad Poutine is mad Russki, da. Trudeau’s Canada continues winning all the time. (Well, except maybe for their version of Madame Tussaud’s.)

  • Joe Beese

    FCC ignored your net neutrality comment, unless you made a ‘serious’ legal argument

    https://www.theverge.com/2017/11/22/16689838/fcc-net-neutrality-comments-were-largely-ignored

    • TJ Barke

      I really hate this Ajit Pai motherfucker.

      • MynameisBlarney

        They had him on NPR this morning, “interviewing” him like there wasn’t a goddamned thing wrong with his fucking bullshit.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          National Plutocrat Radio

          • Marion in Savannah

            Nice Polite Republicans

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Idjit Pi is worst pie.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        He is a bastard non pareil.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Sounds kinda Mooslin-ey. What the hell?

    • jowgajen

      Democracy. What is it?

      • gallbladder

        Drumpf: “Don’t know it. Never heard of it.”

      • Marion in Savannah

        Something that we had a long time ago. I’m old enough to vaguely remember it. It was nice.

      • TJ Barke

        An impediment to business.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • jesterpunk

      I bet that only applied to pro comments and they took every against comment. Which might be why they are ignoring the NY AG.

      https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/11/fcc-stonewalled-investigation-of-net-neutrality-comment-fraud-ny-ag-says/

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Joe Beese

      The tale of the tape says I have the reach advantage.

      • shivaskeeper

        They have a lower center of gravity though. If they get inside your reach, the advantage goes to them.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Their little heads can really bump your nuts if you’re not careful.

        • SisterArtemis

          Yeah, but then they turn those big eyes on you….

          • shivaskeeper

            That does not effect me. I know a dirty trick when I see one. No doe eyes and no tears.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Indeed and at that height they are within striking distance of your tenders.

          • shivaskeeper

            Yup.

        • OneYieldRegular

          This is worse than bumfights.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Any in my weight class?

    • shivaskeeper

      As a rule, I do not fight children. I could make an exception for a worthy cause though.

    • Anna Rompage

      Damn, shits going to hell under Trimp, it used to be that midgets would fight for a spectacle, now they’re forcing young sick children with diabetes to duke it out?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading off to run some errands on this cheery note!

    https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/933387847763185674

    • gallbladder

      “So you’re saying Gary Cohn faked a bad connection to get the president off the phone?”

      “Well, I don’t want to throw him under the bus,” said Carper, “but yes.”

      *chortle*

  • The Wanderer
  • Suttree

    She was dressed as pirouette in red
    And her hair hung gently down

  • bubbuhh

    Feed squash to hogs. Make bacon pie instead.

    • SDGeoff3

      One step cooking.

    • Shanzgood

      There’s such a thing as bacon pie?!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Just add pig.

      • gallbladder

        Really simple: you can use bacon for the crust and filling.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Apparently yes…

        https://www.google.com/search?client=opera&ei=68MVWoGvKKHp_QbGk7qYAw&q=bacon+pie&oq=bacon+pie&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0l2j0i20i263k1j0l7.716988.720444.0.724831.31.17.0.0.0.0.112.1434.14j2.17.0..2..0…1.1.64.psy-ab..20.11.969.6..33i21k1j33i160k1j35i39k1j0i131k1j0i67k1j0i20i264k1j0i20i263i264k1.76.SiV1eXa4CPE

        • Shanzgood

          Holy god…

        • gallbladder

          What about recipes for angioplasties?

      • bubbuhh

        there are several kinds.

      • Thiazin Red

        I bought the Ice and Fire cookbook, the authors looked for mentions of food in the books and found the medieval recipes for them, and there is a bacon pie in there.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Quiche Lorraine, for example.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Pie and Gilbert and Sullivan?!?! You are floatin’ my boat large!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Golly, they sure showed us what for.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029875169

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Cult? No cult. YOU’RE THE CULT!

    • jesterpunk

      Why do they have to add the both sides bullshit at the end of the article?

      • MynameisBlarney

        No idea.
        But it’s dumb.

        • puredog

          People who thought the Fairness Doctrine was basically a good idea and cling to that unilaterally.

      • SDGeoff3

        It’s all the rage these days. Journalisms.

        • jesterpunk

          Even dumber they do it on sites Trump supporters will never read but they still do it.

  • Raan

    Being a lost cause, combine heavy cream with absinthe. Drink entire pitcher of Green Russians while doing all Christmas shopping online.

  • Joe Beese

    In less than a week since sexual harassment allegations were leveled against Minnesota Senator Al Franken, his approval rating has plummeted and many Minnesotans say he should resign, according to an exclusive KSTP/SurveyUSA poll.

    In a poll conducted Monday night after allegations from a second woman were made public, only 22 percent of 600 Minnesotans surveyed said he should remain in office. Another 33 percent say he should resign, while 36 percent say he should wait for results of a Senate Ethics Committee investigation. The poll has a margin of error of +/- 4.1 percent.

    http://kstp.com/news/survey-franken-job-approval-plummets-many-say-he-should-resign/4678569/

    • Shanzgood

      Dammit.

    • Oblios_Cap

      so, basically 58% don’t want to resign immediately.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      I wanna see the party breakdown on the responses. Also keep in mind this is 600 people out of 5.52 million.

      • Joe Beese

        SurveyUSA has an A rating from 538.com – so it’s not a garbage poll.

    • Ryan Denniston

      The Democrats used to feel more shame. Of course, 33-42% is about 33-42% more than the GOP.

    • ltmcdies

      As long as Alleged President Trump backs the pedo from Alabama, Franken should stay til at least his hearing

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        That’s where I’m at. And make sure the successor is lined and ready to go so the vote doesn’t go uncounted at Tax “Reform” time.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Crap, there go our black Friday plans:

    WEST FARGO, N.D. – A Minnesota woman is jailed after authorities found nearly 300 pounds of marijuana in her car.

    Police say the 34-year old suspect was pulled over in a traffic stop on a ramp to I-94 in West Fargo Tuesday. During the stop a K-9 named Disco hit on a scent coming from the suspect’s vehicle that gave authorities probable cause to search it. Inside they found 286 pounds of pot with a street value of nearly $1.4 million.

    http://www.kare11.com/news/crime/mn-woman-busted-with-286-lbs-of-pot/493913587

    • OutOfOrbit

      fuck that must’ve been some good shit

      • Rick Hill

        They like to break it down by how much it would sell for if you sold it a gram at a time.

        • Arolpin

          Yeah, but $11/gram is pretty expensive in any state with legal recreational, and that’s retail price. (Hell, it’s only $20/gram for delivery service in NYC, according to a friend.)

          • aureolaborealis

            It’s ~$20/gram at dispensaries in Alaska, fwiw.

      • aureolaborealis

        Might be good, might be bad. It’s a lot of whatever it is, though.

    • jesterpunk

      If you’re going to break the law only break one at a time.

    • Joe Beese

      Do you need a K-9 to smell 286 pounds of marijuana?

      • OutOfOrbit

        those fucking handlers can make their dog hit on ANY care with one trick word

        • Joe Beese

          Our Editrix can tell you how The Man fucks people over on drug stuff.

          • ZangoCrudmonger

            Didn’t the Wonkbago get a search a while back?

          • OutOfOrbit

            I remember. S. Dakota?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Yup. Code word makes the doggy all frisky, then they have a “legal” search. Then when they don’t find anything, they claim there’s “shake” in the carpet and they “let you off easy” with a whopping traffic fine instead.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Fuck me, that’s 4900$/lb for an estimate. I know people selling lbs for 800-1400 for outdoor, maybe 2k for indoor. Oregon does have the cheap goods, tho.

      • marxalot

        Cops always inflate the street value

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Totes. They take the gram price and multiply it for the whole 300 pounds. Try that bullshit pricing when you flip it on the street, copper. They’ll laugh their asses off at you.

          Ten years from now, when it’s legal everywhere, we won’t have to read these boneheaded, inaccurate accounts.

          • aureolaborealis

            $306/oz is not a crazy dispensary price in my town. Might actually be seen as a bit of a deal. Cheapest place in town sells quarters for $90 ($360/oz).

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Wow. $300/oz is really high (pun intended).

            I just checked the website of the place down the street from me, it’s $96/oz for bud and $35/oz for shake. I don’t buy in those quantities, I’m still working my way through a gram I bought I think two years ago, so the price means nothing to me. But yours will come down quite a bit when they legalize for recreational in your state.

          • aureolaborealis

            It’s been de-criminalized for years, and legally available in dispensaries for recreational use for a year now. The prices don’t affect me much as I am a lightweight. A gram can last a couple of weeks of daily vaping for me (to supplement edibles). So even at $20/g, it’s still cheaper than the single malt and sleeping pills it replaced.
            Prices have inched downward slightly: one place sells 4g eighths, all now include taxes in the price. So it started at $20/g plus tax, and eighths were strictly 3.5g, and now it can be as low as $15/g with tax included, though not for the powerful stuff. I bought a 4g eighth of 27% Dark Star for $65 a couple weeks ago for making edibles. The (another?) real crime is the retail price of edibles, which is consistently $1 per mg of THC. So the edibles I will make with that eighth will have about 1,100 mg of THC in total, which would cost — I shit you not — $1,100 to buy as ready-made edibles in the shop. (My wife says we need to go into business as soon as the kids leave home.)

        • ryp

          Yep, it’s always the top price for the smallest retail amount multiplied for maximum “street value”.

          It would be like the USDA using the per piece price at your local convenience store to give the “street value” of crop production.

          • aureolaborealis

            And often including the weight of the containers (and the pot and soil if it’s a plant.)

  • marxalot

    I once lived with a contralto. She used Gilbert and Sullivan as an audition piece pretty often– and I got to listen to her doing a lot of hard-stop diction work to get that “Sweet little Buttercup- I” bit right without borking the meter.

  • Ryan Denniston

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/933285973277868032

    One gets the impression that Trump doesn’t exactly consider NFL players individuals with rights and stuff. Because they’re black I think.

    • Shanzgood

      Fucking moron. They always USED to stay in the locker room before 2009 when the Pentagon started giving the NFL money to put on “patriotic” displays, including bringing out the players for the anthem.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Back in the day, when we spoke about cutting spending, the military was held up as the epitome of wasteful spending. How times have changed,

      • Joe Beese

        New league rule: Heartfelt displays of patriotism are now mandatory.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Faux Patriotism is the Rule.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Hmmm… What else happened in 2009? Something, something, Kenyan-born blah president…

      • Doug Langley

        Oh, Shanz. That’s almost ten years ago. Donnie can barely remember what he had for breakfast.

      • TundraGrifter

        Actually, as I understand it the NFL has been paying the US Military for those “fly overs” and other patriotic displays of might and strength.

    • Joe Beese

      Tough and smart! Like me!

    • gallbladder

      Drumpf commenting on the intelligence of others. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up.

      • TundraGrifter

        It’s like going out of your way to find an auto mechanic who doesn’t drive a car.

    • TundraGrifter

      Plus that will give all of them more time for “Locker Room Talk.”

  • OneYieldRegular

    This recipe is suspiciously like my Butterstick Pie I make for Thanksgiving. In fact, it is identical, except that instead of a butternut squash I use one whole panda.

  • Cock Blockula

    Because my mother has celiac disease, and I am unable to find any prepacked gluten-free stuffing mixes this year, I am going to attempt stuffing with Rice and/or Corn Chex. I found this on the internet. Is it to be trusted?

    Any tips, hints, expertise from the Wonktariat is greatly appreciated!

    • Doug Langley

      I don’t see a link to any recipe, but my 2 cents. It’s so easy to make a dirty rice, I do it all the time. One cup rice, three cups liquid, preferably turkey stock or juice or whatever. Water if nothing else. Simmer until soft. Tasty. Should be a snap to punch it up by adding:

      butter
      onions
      turkey sausage

      Cook all three in saucepan. Then add rice and liquid. Add mushrooms, chopped celery, crushed pecans, whatever suits your fancy. Add seasoning, not too much since sausage already has some. Simmer until all liquid is absorbed.

      • puredog

        + hot sauce

      • SDGeoff3

        Nice.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Dynamo Donuts in San Francisco makes an astounding gluten-free buttermilk-lemon donut. It is so good that I could easily see its being used as stuffing for a turkey.

      • Cock Blockula

        Well, too late. I bought four boxes of Chex already, plus it’s 2 hours to SF from where I live. But I will keep that in mind the next time I’m there.

        I just found out last week that my local Safeway has gluten-free donuts, glazed and chocolate!

    • Cock Blockula

      I am going to re-post my question over on the Strata from Stuffing page since my question is about stuffing…

    • Shibusa

      I made this last year for my gluten-free niece. I couldn’t find dried pears so used dried cranberries and apples, fyi. This one was delicious–truly.
      https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/wild-rice-stuffing-with-wild-mushrooms-105886
      I’ve also done a gluten free cornbread stuffing that turned out well. But that takes more time because you have to let the bread go stale for a day…

      • Cock Blockula

        Filed! It looks really good.

  • If anyone out there is still alive that can read this, we are all huddled in the crawlspace under the house, we have Club crackers, a chunk of cheese, and a bucket of water. Having survived the first two Recipe Hub bombings this morning, we thought it was safe to venture out to the grocery store. Upon return the recipe bombings continued. We sought shelter.

    Please advise when the coast is clear.

    Oh, and by the way, this is what I’m making tomorrow: Pasilla chile rubbed turkey….

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/recipes/pasilla-chili-rubbed-turkey/14971/?tid=a_inl&utm_term=.871d9003396e

  • Moar Wordz

    Yum 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • aureolaborealis
  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I would like some butter email pie, please

    • calliecallie

      They have butter email tarts in Canadia.

  • Weird. David Bronzecoucheeooo on NPR this morning made a snarky aside how most of what is in canned pumpkin pie filling is regular squash…

    Things ya learn.

    • susan_g

      Libby’s is the only brand that guarantees 100% pumpkin (Dickinson). That being said, so what? I go with my mom and Al Jarreau, who sang, ” anyone who’s ever had sweet potato pie, don’t want pumpkin again”.

      • little miss high and mighty

        cause it glazes with the sugar on the hot iron pan better than pumpkin.
        If people would just start from scratch like we’re s’posed to do we would know the diff.
        But nooooo- we buy those auwful canned mostly potato mixture) called canned pumpkin instead.
        Start from scratch ain’t that hard to reduce wedges of real sweet potato or real pumkin on a hot skillet with dark brown sugar to carmelize then add in flavors and later, cooled add in the eggs etc.
        make sure the butter for the crust is always cold hard kept in the fridge.
        Use fresh spices not the ones you keep for centuries in the warm cuppboards Grate the nutmeg fresh easy on the salt since this is scratch- NOT CANNED.

    • SDGeoff3

      It’s very easy to roast a pumpkin for pie or bread, and the fragrance is heavenly.

  • Zyxomma

    I have on hand a beautiful kabocha, a butternut, and a pumpkin. No buttercup. I’m not baking any pies this time, anyway.

  • meanlawyermom

    That looks amazing!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I just made a butternut cheesecake, it’s gorgeous. Now I just have to get it out of the springform pan. The little test cheesecake I made for myself was delicious!

  • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

    Will that work with a hubbard squash?

  • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

    I cannot explain why this post reminds me of the movie “Three Days of the Condor.”

  • Amy

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    fu350d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleLegitimateSpaceJobsFromHomeJobs/get/hourly ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fu350lhh

  • In its latest attempt to replace all foods with processed potato product, Pringles takes on Thanksgiving dinner with eight different flavors—turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, macaroni and cheese and creamed corn.

    I’m Really Big in Japan.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/57c1287044d69c6065248a762f081498dd34ca3ca0d1c65ffadea3e448be7444.jpg

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I made the butternut cheesecake, but I decorated it with a pumpkin, because the first decoration I did, of a butternut squash looked like, well it looked like, um, y’know. So anyway, I made a puff pastry pumpkin for decoration instead. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/870ecc8a6206815309e6073e11fa330282fbb1701c4839cc4ee5f00717f208af.jpg

    • blaid droog

      That looks absolutely delicious.

  • The Librarian

    I’m making roasted veggies for our gathering, but I like this better. Especially the rum shot part. Drinking balsamic vinegar doesn’t have the same appeal.

  • Uh, can anyone taste the difference between butternut and pumpkin? They’re both squash.

    I think the only difference in any squash pie is how much sugar is added?!?!?

    • blaid droog

      Sounds about right to me. Mmmm. Sugar. For a truly different taste use honey instead. Or some of the outrageously overpriced unprocessed, or, I should say less processed sugars. I grow sugar cane as an ornamental grass. Been eating it since I was a child. Really coarse and fibrous.

      • I love chewing some cane. Makes my jaw hurt so good. ✓

        • DarkGoldenMan

          You fellate guy’s canes.

          • Go fuck yourself RUSSIAN PEASANT. 😂
            ma·jor·i·ty
            məˈjôrədē,məˈjärədē/Submit
            noun
            1.
            the greater number.

        • blaid droog

          Great way to exercise facial muscles. Better than yam-mering about how nasty sweet potatoes and marshmallows are.

  • LeftyProud

    ok, must vent – speaking of pies and deserts. Thanksgiving is at my Dad’s. My mother in law comes every year, my Dad invited her a few years ago when my FIL died and now she comes every year and stays with us (she next to me on the couch right now).This year, she brought a rum cake, and told us how much it cost. And she made a pie that we did not ask for or want for Thanksgiving dinner. Mind you, my dad’s apartment is not huge, and he throws everything away. We brought the cake, because she told us over and over how much it cost her, one piece was eaten, and we had to take it home with us or my dad would raise holy hell. And now she is complaining that we would waste the food, when she is the wasteful one who brought crap we do not need. The cake and the pie she made which has not been touched. I had to type this as she eating next to me, it really pissed her off I was ignoring her. Small pleasures.

Previous articleStuffed Acorn Squash With Barley And Sausage And Pork Stock And Beer
Next articleEat This Leftover Stuffing Strata For Every Meal You Can, Until You Run Out Of Stuff