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IMG_0223
EAT THIS NOW.

[Editrix’s note: I made this last year, and the year before, and ate it for every meal until all the components were gone. It is absolutely delicious. So have at it, and you’re welcome.]

Are your Thanksgiving guests still lingering? Maybe if you feed them a hearty breakfast and tell them the leftovers are all gone, they’ll get the fuck out. Regardless, this recipe is an excellent morning-time use of leftover stuffing. Strata is Latin for “breakfast casserole.” You can use either term, depending on the level of pretense you like to serve with your food. I like to go for the maximum, especially when it’s a dish as simple to prepare as this one.

This one doesn’t have any meat, but you may include leftover turkey or any kind of breakfast meat you like (and maybe your leftover stuffing has some kind of meat in it). If you had a ham on Thanksgiving, throw in a handful of ham cubes. If you want sausage or bacon in it, cook them first in a skillet and drain the fat.

You can put this together in the evening and bake it in the morning. Just remember to take it out of the fridge for a little while before you put it in the hot oven. Also remember to remove the plastic wrap before putting it in the oven.

Stuffing Strata

2 cups or so of leftover stuffing
3 eggs
1 1/2 cups of milk
Enough grated cheese to cover the casserole plus a little more (any good melting cheese will do; Swiss is a popular choice, but today we’ve got cheddar and a stick of string cheese)

Butter a casserole dish.

Beat the eggs and milk together, with a little salt and pepper.

Put the stuffing in the casserole in big chunks. Mix in the “plus a little more” of cheese.

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Pour the egg and milk mixture over the stuffing. Let the stuffing soak up all that good stuff for a few minutes. Alternatively, if you’re preparing this the night before, cover the dish with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

IMG_0221

Sprinkle the cheese over the top of the casserole.

Bake in a 375 oven for about 40 minutes, until the filling is firmly set.

Enjoy with a Bloody Mary.

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  • Joe Beese
    • goonemeritus

      why is there no icon for embarrassed the nation with a stupid tweet?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, just assume that said icon would be present on every single day.

        • Jimh

          Better to have “DID NOT TWEET” icon.

      • onedollarjuana

        Not enuf days in the calendar.

  • proudgrampa

    This looks REAL good!

  • Nounverb911

    Found the perfect place for eating leftovers and avoiding the internets….Only $10K…

    https://twitter.com/kfc/status/931260934764445696

    • Joe Beese

      This is brand loyalty gone mad.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I think it is self parody.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Jack In The Box got all edgy with the ads, what about 10 years ago? Burger King has it’s scary- weird-ass plastic headed king guy. The colonel’s going for it now.

        • Joe Beese

          If it’s a joke, they’ve taken it as far as letting you click through to a checkout page that asks for a credit card they can bill the $10,000 dingus to.

    • vivian

      Roy Moore as a Faraday cage?

  • The Wanderer

    Can mimosas be acceptable?

    • calliecallie

      Always.

    • TundraGrifter

      Absolutely! I think they got a bad name from cheap bubbly and poor quality OJ. And too many people getting ripped at a free bar. Use quality ingredients – always. A reasonably good sparkling wine (domestic is just fine) and fresh-squeezed orange juice and you have a worthwhile beverage.

      Not a Ramos Gin Fizz, of course, but still a good drink.

  • Joe Beese

    This Is What It’s Like to Be the Only Trump Fan at Thanksgiving Dinner

    To my fellow Trump supporters, a word of advice: Think about the experiences that lie behind the rancor you might face as you dine and relax with your loved ones this season. Arguments will not end well. Everyone has a life story, a wellspring of pain and triumph that won’t yield easily to debate. Trump has violated them too deeply.

    But you have a life story, too, one that led you toward Trump, not away from him. When I first saw identity politics at work, I was a graduate student in English at UCLA in the 1980s. These were the years when the heritage of genius and beauty was recast as a bunch of Dead White Males. Western civilization slipped from a lineage of reason and talent, free inquiry and unsuppressed creativity, into “Eurocentrism,” one group’s advance at the expense of others, women and people of color. Art for art’s sake gave way to art for politics’ sake, for identity’s sake. I spent my 20s in a grimy room reading Dante, Wordsworth and Nietzsche—only to find when I went to campus that my intellectual giants had become objects of suspicion and derision.

    When Donald Trump stood in that square in Warsaw and unapologetically hailed Western civilization, I felt a 30-year discouragement lift ever so slightly. That’s my experience, and I’m happy to share it this season.

    https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/11/22/trump-supporter-thanksgiving-dinner-family-215853

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      OK … read the whole thing. Real or snark? I can’t tell anymore …

      • Joe Beese

        When you translate “defending Western Civilization” into its real meaning of “defending white people”, it all adds up.

      • ryp

        It almost reads like subtle satire until you realize the writer is an editor of First Things, a self styled intellectual journal for religious conservatives.

        As far as I can tell First Things mainly exists as a vehicle to convince educated conservative Catholics and Jews they haven’t made a mistake aligning themselves politically with the ignorant Southern evangelical protestants who dominate the Republican party dialogue on religious issues.

    • TundraGrifter

      I am thoroughly confused. I thought most folks in Europe were “white.”

    • Edith Prickly

      My orchestra of tiny violinists is on strike, so I’ll call the wahhhmbulance instead. If this pinhead hasn’t figured out what a fraud Trump is yet, I’m not wasting time refuting him.

    • OneYieldRegular

      What utter bullshit. Like Donald Trump has the faintest idea who Dante, Wordsworth and Nietzsche were.

      For Donald Trump, “Western civilization” means nothing more than a rapacious corporate mafia being able to do whatever it wants without impediment.

      And in the very same city where in July Donald Trump “hailed Western civilization,” 60,000 neo-Nazis and fascists just held a march – with no small thanks due to Donald Trump’s complete and abject failure to recognize the dangers or resurgent Nazism.

  • BARTON FINK DEPT.

    Shouldn’t somebody be keeping a big ol’ score board of Democrat vs Republican pervos?

    https://www.texastribune.org/2017/11/22/us-rep-joe-barton-deciding-how-respond-after-graphic-photo-circulates-/

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/60e76d19ad38bdbc570953fc732289b390c7f62d22ce65b61a1ea500b308c3aa.jpg

    I know you’re sorry. Now apologize.
    My Dad

  • Joe Beese

    Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas) admitted that a nude picture of him circulating online is authentic and apologized to his constituents.

    “While separated from my second wife, prior to the divorce, I had sexual relationships with other mature adult women,” Barton, 68, said in a statement first reported by the Texas Tribune. “Each was consensual. Those relationships have ended. I am sorry I did not use better judgment during those days. I am sorry that I let my constituents down.”

    The longtime congressman said he is considering his political future, after announcing plans to seek reelection just three weeks ago.

    https://www.politico.com/story/2017/11/22/gop-congressman-barton-apologizes-for-nude-selfie-259442

    • Marceline

      Mature adult women means he wants everyone to know that even though he’s a Republican he’s not a kiddie diddler.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        So he’s a liberal?

      • onedollarjuana

        But were they single?

    • aureolaborealis

      So he’s apologizing profusely for letting his constituency down by having consensual adult relationships while single? And yet in Alabama … and the White House …?

      • jowgajen

        I think the apology is for the nekkid pictures.

        • Joe Beese

          Texas needs a member of Congress BUT NOT THAT WAY.

          • TundraGrifter

            “Member?” Heh, heh. ISWYDT

          • Joe Beese

            When the opportunity for a joke is dangling out there, you just have to grab it.

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            Consensual humor?

          • Teto85

            That is low hanging fruit.

          • TundraGrifter

            They say its the little things that count.

          • Teto85

            Eww.

      • shivaskeeper

        Nekkid pictures and sex out of wedlock. Sex out of wedlock is the bigger sin by far.

        • aureolaborealis

          Unless it’s a 14-year-old presumed virgin?

          • shivaskeeper

            Honesty, if he did have sex with any of his accusers, the pre-marital sex will get him far more trouble than the underage sex and statutory rape.

      • NastyBossetti

        I don’t really get it. So he sent a naked pic, apparently to someone who had some interest in it, and not like… one of his subordinates or a child? Who cares?

    • jowgajen

      The pic is embarrassing, but it shouldn’t affect his job. Especially now that it’s out and there’s nothing to blackmail him with.

    • TundraGrifter

      Well, now that situation has a new wrinkle.

    • ryp

      I’m unclear as to who would be interested in a sexual relationship with Joe Barton after he’d sent them nude pictures of himself. Was this his way of ending things?

      • coozledad

        I think he misunderstands the whole concept of “pity fuck.”

    • What the everloving fuck? I can’t even begin to imagine that vileness so will get my joe Barton updates here at wonkette.

      For which i am thankful.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Is there a dick attached to the rest of his body?

      I wonder what state it is in.

    • Edith Prickly

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA groooosssss….

    • Teto85

      Thanks. Now I need about 3 gallons of mind bleach and a case of Glenlivet.

  • SDGeoff3

    I’m printing it out as we speak. We go out for dinner, but I always make some sort of casserole that’s left-over-y. This will work just dandy. And with the Editrix Imprimatur, well, how could I go wrong?

  • Marion in Savannah

    What is this leftover stuffing of which you speak? Mr. MinS will sneak into the kitchen and steal it out of the dish before it goes into the oven.

    • SisterArtemis

      I always make about 2 or 3 times the amount I’ll need for the dinner itself. It becomes my lunch for the next week or so. And pumpkin pies too – extra, because I like it for breakfast.

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      That’s like all those recipes I see that have “leftover” mashed potatoes.

  • ryp

    No squash?

    • jowgajen

      It would be good in there too, if you have some leftover.

      • ryp

        There is always leftover squash.

  • Joe Beese

    RedState anxiously asks “Can Ajit Pai Stop Liberal State Efforts To Overregulate The Internet?”

    • The Wanderer

      Which explains why Red State is more full of nuts than a #10 can of coffee.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Chock full…

    • Thiazin Red

      I’m sure the readers are just going to love paying extra for the dumbass websites they like.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        These numbnuts just don’t get it, or don’t bother to understand how big the shaft is they’re about to get.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      No.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Yes, by replacing liberal ‘regulations’ with corporate ones. Problem solved!

  • TundraGrifter

    Clearly the preferred solution to gun violence in America is more firearms. Today the gun laws in Tombstone, AZ, are looser than in the 19th Century when Wyatt Earp ran that town.

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/u-army-selling-most-powerful-013200617.html

  • calliecallie

    Apple pie is in the oven.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’ll bring the vanilla ice cream and cedar cheese…

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Sure you don’t want redwood cheese?

    • Edith Prickly

      What about those cakes we like?

  • Seriously!

    We decided we wanted ‘leftovers’ for Thanksgiving Dinner this year so we made a traditional dinner last night, ate around the edges, and stuck it all in the fridge for tomorrow.

    We tend to have non-traditional Thanksgiving Dinners.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      That’s a damn fine idea!

    • Jamoche

      The best thing you can do with the turkey is remove the legs, use the rest for stock, cook practically everything with the stock, and roast the legs.

      The traditional Norman Rockwell turkey is a lie. Looks pretty but underneath it’s dry and terrible. It’s a perfect metaphor for the US, but not something you’d want to eat.

      • I braise my turkey. Get the legs going first, add the breast for the last part, everything cooked just right. I do regret the stuffing which then cannot be stuffed though.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Alton Brown says don’t stuff the stuffing. Something to do with food poisoning.

          • All the food scientists say that. I say, screw it, you only live once and also if you use a little fucking common sense, you will be fine. Chop everything up the night before, fry it up and bung it in the turkey JUST before it goes in the oven, no problemo.

      • shivaskeeper

        Factory farm raised birds are dry. Home raised birds are pretty good. Especially deep fried.

      • NastyBossetti

        We don’t cook for American Thanksgiving because we host a big Canadian Thanksgiving in America party every year, where we smoke 2 turkeys. I think more people should smoke their turkeys.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Where do you get those big rolling papers, though?

          • NastyBossetti

            This is the same joke my father-in-law makes every single time. Do you live in Ontario?

          • Indeniable Ron

            As a matter of fact, yes. But I probably don’t know him. Probably.

          • NastyBossetti

            Every time we pass a car with Ontario plates, I ask MrBossetti if he knows them. He doesn’t think it’s funny, but ONE DAY he’s going to say, “Wait. Yes, I actually DO know them!”

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            I’ve heard everyone in Canada knows and/or is related to everyone in Canada. The Matthew Perry thing blew my mind. I bet if Kevin Bacon visited Canada the country would implode.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Or go to Canada and smoke… something else ;)

          • NastyBossetti

            Canada’s pretty far to go, considering how easy it is to smoke things here, even though it’s technically illegal.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Well, July of next year is right around the corner. They don’t have a Jeff Secessions waging war on magic trees and munchies either.

      • Indeniable Ron

        My ex’s father had the solution for that: during the summer he’d do a turkey at least once a week, and slow-roast it on their giant stone barbecue. He’d sit by the fire with a book and a gin-and-tonic, patiently basting the bird with BBQ sauce every few minutes, while the poor rotisserie motor struggled to rotate the thing. When it was done it was delicious and juicy all the way through, and there were rarely any leftovers because it’s DRY turkey that really fills you up.
        Gods, I miss that.

      • OneYieldRegular

        I’ve discovered, late in my life of cooking for Thanksgiving, that the key to preventing turkey from being dry and terrible is to rub ten sticks of butter on the outside, on the inside, and under the skin.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        If you cook it upside down, wrapped well in foil until done, then flip right-side up and uncover for about 15 minutes, turkey doesn’t come out too dry. It helps, of course, if you’ve larded it with butter beforehand.

        • Jamoche

          Nothing really helps when you’ve got a crowd that doesn’t like white meat at the best of times. We’ve joked we should go around to the neighbors and offer to swap turkey parts.

  • MynameisBlarney

    My grandpa would would take most of the leftovers from fanksgivin and make a a damned tasty stew out of it.
    Stuffing, gravy, green bean casserole, smashed taters, it all went in the pot with the turkey remains.

  • DerrickWildcat

    I get my pet cat Turkey cat food. Some years he eats it, some years he tries to bury it.

    • Some years domestic, some years wild.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Show the cat the Palin turkey video …

    • Thiazin Red

      My one cat goes ape shit for turkey. Thanksgiving is both the best and worst day of the year for him. Best because he does get to eat a lot of turkey, worst because the house smells like turkey he can’t eat for hours.

      • NastyBossetti

        I made turkey stock this weekend, and my dog spent the entire day whining. Just following me around, whining, looking wistfully at the stove, whining some more. I felt so bad for him.

        • OneYieldRegular

          Friends brought their weird little piglet-looking dog over the other night, and it kept whining and trying to get up to the table, where we had a big spread of all kinds of stuff. Finally figured out what particular thing it wanted among all that food:

          FETA CHEESE.

        • Thiazin Red

          My cat once howled in frustration when I wouldn’t let him climb on the counter with the turkey.

      • Gigglesnort

        They are weak on the whole “later” concept.

    • shastakoala

      I buried a turkey once. After the fireman left.

    • SayItWithWookies

      My cats live with a vegetarian. Poor bastards have it rough. They get cheese, though.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Edith Prickly

      Rats, sinking ship, yada yada…

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Never underestimate the rats’ ability to swim …

    • shivaskeeper

      I see the campaign is going with the, “You guys suck, don’t talk to me” defence. Good times.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Double Down Derp … and we expected more from these idiots? They believe they’ll win no matter what, and they have a precedent to work with … Donnie Dumbass and his Band of Conspirators.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Now wait for Moore to claim he’s being victimized by people who discriminate against child molesters.

  • Cock Blockula

    I can vouch that this is one of the awesome-est recipes ever!

    I make extra stuffing just so I can make it the next morning.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Sounds great, but what is this odd ingredient called “leftover stuffing”?

    • Yes, exactly. The whole point of roasting a turkey is to have stuffing. The turkey is just a by-product.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        … and gravy. The turkey just provides the stock …

  • Arolpin

    My go-to leftover thanksgiving recipe is turkey enchiladas. I generally make a tray to eat, and throw another tray in the freezer for later. I also like the leftover sandwich, but it’s not the same because my father-in-law’s wife brings the cranberry relish, and hers doesn’t use entire oranges ground up with cranberries, so it doesn’t have the right amount of tartness to tie the whole sandwich together (turkey, ham, stuffing, potatoes, maybe some sweet potatoes, gravy, and a bit of cranberry relish, all on a crescent roll).

    • Turkey enchiladas with green Hatch chile sauce keep us well into early December.

      • Thiazin Red

        I want the recipe for the sauce.

    • theblackdog

      This sounds excellent. I’m planning on making turkey taquitos on Friday and Saturday

  • Thiazin Red

    God damn, I’ve had One Day More stuck in my head for days. Fucking James Corden and his car pool karaoke.

  • Debra Dassow

    Last year I made your crab cake recipe, the best I have ever made.
    Your site is awesome on so many levels.

  • Teto85

    MMMMMM. Don’t forget to add the bacon and/or sausage and or diced turkey. And ground pepper to taste.

  • Moar Wordz

    Purrrrrrrrrfect

  • NastyBossetti

    You can use either term, depending on the level of pretense you like to serve with your food. I like to go for the maximum, especially when it’s a dish as simple to prepare as this one.

    I have it on good authority that you like to go for the maximum pretense in literally everything you do.

    • vivian

      I shouldn’t have enjoyed the prospect of not having read that.

  • OT:

    FunFact: Ozzy Ozbourne is afraid of snakes.

    • janecita

      Fun fact: I’m afraid of Ozzy.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      But not bats…

  • coozledad
    • MynameisBlarney

      You mean appetite suppressor, right?

      • coozledad

        An emetic, even.

        I understand the need for payback, ladies, but this is a bridge too far.

    • janecita

      I read that as “He announced his re-erection bid earlier this month.”

  • Joe Beese
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    HA!
    Did an official fake a bad connection to get Trump off the phone?

    Pressed by the CNN host if Cohn, the director of the National Economic Council at Trump’s White House, actually faked a bad connection in order to get the president off the phone, the senator replied, “Well, I wouldn’t – I don’t want to throw him under the bus, but yes.”

  • jangoodell

    Who, for the love of God, ever has left over stuffing?

    • Anna Rompage

      I make enough to feed about 4 times as many people as we have over for the meal.

      You can never have too much stuffing

      • Indeniable Ron

        4 times the amount sounds like just enough.

      • cmd resistor

        Yeah my mom made not much so never leftovers. I make way more than needed. Whatever fits in the bird then a large pile in the oven.

    • shastakoala

      Same here. Always gone.

    • Crystalclear12

      With the proper fork defense and menacing scowl you too could have left over stuffing!

    • NastyBossetti

      People who take a portion of the stuffing and hide it away somewhere before the rest makes it to the table?

      • proudgrampa

        Yup. We lock some up in a safe before the guests arrive.

        • NastyBossetti

          Smart!

          • proudgrampa

            Hey! I wasn’t born yesterday…

            Happy Thanksgiving!

  • shastakoala

    I know a lot of people will find this gross but my favorite Thanksgiving appetizer is broiled bacon wrapped chicken livers. Yum!

    • Anna Rompage

      Just about every Chinese restaurants used to have those as appetizers!

      • shastakoala

        I did not know that.

    • They are delicious! I regret their passing, but apparently there aren’t too many who do. My local grocery doesn’t even sell chicken livers anymore.

      • Thiazin Red

        Last time I made pate, I had to go to four different stores to find chicken livers.

    • NotReallyHere

      I tried so hard to like liver. I fried chicken livers up with lots of bacon and smothered them in Julia Child’s mustard cream sauce. It didn’t help. The flavor just makes me gag, so I’ve given up.

      • shastakoala

        I know what you mean. I’m a fairly picky eater and was surprised how much I liked them.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Proto-ZARDOZ shoots seed.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      A Minni Cock. I take it that’s the first of the monuments for the Trump Presidential Library?

    • janecita

      That’s one big cock, the rooster is big also.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Apparently every time they paint over the graffiti the cock reappears.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          It’s a magic cock?

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            There is only one way to find out. I will walk down to the sculpture garden tomorrow and rub it.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Have someone take vidja.
            For posterity.
            And for comedy.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      The classics never get old.

    • onedollarjuana

      Looks like a flyby by the Navy’s flyboys.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Today in “Modern America: Srsly? Edition.”

    Once a month or so, mom has me put money into a relatives BoA account.

    I found out today that starting in december, BoA will no longer let you put CASH FUCKING MONEY into someone’s account, unless you’re on the account.

    Now, at first I thought it was some kind of anti-terrorism bullshit, then I realized, they make me show my ID every time and I’m pretty sure they take down my DL number.

    You’d think, okay, maybe it’s an anti-fraud thing…but I’m told they will ONLY start accepting such transactions if you’re using a money order or check.

    Sigh…

    • proudgrampa

      It’s the world we live in…

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        it’s just literally senseless.

        • proudgrampa

          Well, actually, I think it’s a war on cash.

          There are people who believe that turning all money into 0s and 1s is a good thing.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Interestingly enough, those people have as many zeroes in their bank accounts as most of us do. Except, they also have 1s… and commas.

          • proudgrampa

            Indeed.

          • onedollarjuana

            Much easier to skim or steal.

    • Joe Beese

      This is stimulating my paranoia gland.

      Paper money is one of the last means we have of evading government surveillance. There are powerful forces that I’m sure would be happy to see it eradicated.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        true – althought, and not to increase your paranoia – anywhere you withdraw or exchange paper money will have a camera.

        Now, money orders are mostly anonymous in the same vein….me, I think it’s more of that open an account, have some fees! bullshit.

        • proudgrampa

          Even if you buy a money order at the corner 7-11, there will be a picture of the transaction.

          I’m not paranoid, but why are you looking at me?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, that’s what I meant, “in the same vein” – wrong phrase…with the same problems.

            I dunno, didn’t get my mega doses of coffee today due to the milk fiasco.

      • proudgrampa

        Yup. You got it.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Fun fact: Bofa (pronounced boofah) is a Portuguese slang for “fart.” My father has direct-deposit through Bank of America (BofA) but has no idea of how to use an ATM. We hate them anyway, but really have no other choice because the job contracts with them for all employee direct deposit arrangements. So whenever my mother has to do a withdrawal or deposit at the local branch, we know it as Bofa Bank. Fart Bank. She hates the word “fart.” But in a foreign language, it fits.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol…I have hated BofA for years and years too. I use our local credit union – but that has gotten steadily worse over the years.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Huh. At my high school “boof” or “boofer” was the term of choice for farts. No big Portuguese presence there. I just assumed it was onomatopoeic.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          It must be multilingual onomatopoeia then :)

    • MynameisBlarney

      I stopped using BoA years ago.
      They are crooked as fuck.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        We have had a local election candidate here who was a BofA mortgage loan manager. Didn’t get elected after his “settlement” with the banking regulators was made known …

  • cheetojeebus

    WARNING::|| DO Not Look at that Joe Barton Selfie.!!11 ||

    • ltmcdies

      Did you. How bad was it.

      • cheetojeebus

        One time I went to my seat on an airline and immediately noticed the airsick bag was rumpled and tucked into the seat pocket. I looked inside. I was young and stupid. Obviously, i didn’t learn my lesson.

  • Indeniable Ron

    It sounds lovely, but what is this ‘leftover stuffing’ you speak of?

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      You clearly don’t make enough stuffing. If there’s none left over, an insufficient quantity was made. Unless the bird’s ribs crack while you’re fisting it full o’ stuffing, and it has major turtling, then more is required.

  • janecita

    Are we sharing recipes?

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    I’d heard this was a recipe hub, but not seen any evidence until now. I’ll put in my two cents, and say that you should always make your own bread crumbs. If you don’t have stale bread, lightly toast it until it’s dry before making crumbs from it.

    • paintinggeorgia

      I chunk up good bread, toss with herbs and olive oil and bake for about 20 minutes in a 300 oven. Then turn off heat and allow to sit in oven for a few hours…great base for stuffing.

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        That sounds like an excellent method, and I shall be trying it.

  • Cock Blockula

    Because my mother has celiac disease, and I am unable to find any prepacked
    gluten-free stuffing mixes this year, I am going to attempt stuffing
    with Rice and/or Corn Chex. I found this on the internet. Is it to be
    trusted?

    Any tips, hints, expertise from the Wonktariat is greatly appreciated!

    Here are two recipes I am currently considering:

    https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/mushroom-herb-stuffing/4ca1c6ab-a95f-4f16-a3b1-00fab6a9b4ff

    https://www.generalmillscf.com/recipes/gluten-free-chex-stuffing/48094c4e-34f0-4508-a2d5-ddd3ce7cc0bf

    • janecita

      Can she do wild rice?

      • Cock Blockula

        Yes, but the problem is: Will I prepare it? (Answer: no) She is elderly and doesn’t cook any more.

        I can’t run out and get any at this late point in time.

    • janecita
      • Cock Blockula

        Saved to my recipe file for next year!

    • Werewolf

      Trader Joe’s has gluten-free stuffing mix, for future reference.

      • Cock Blockula

        Thanks, I will try to remember that for next year!

  • Suttree

    I just browned off some sausage celery onion and garlic, I hacked this beautiful piece of french bread for my mixing.I will make it later. Nom nom nom nom

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      May I suggest adding some chopped walnuts?

      • Suttree

        You may suggest that. Unfortunately I hate walnuts. :( I actually have some in the cupboard also too.

  • Cock Blockula

    Someone posted this a few days ago and I thought it was hilarious.
    But is it gluten-free?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb8377c2bc83a95d076b939dd864dbb3c1597aa6be60b41e1aaf2242f8ea9dcc.jpg

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i was just buying milk to replace the bad milk – turns out fairlife milk is gluten free!!!

      sigh.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That thin white line in the middle.
      Yeah, that’s the gluten layer.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Jurassic?

        • MynameisBlarney

          *tastes sample of gluten layer*

          No…
          I’d say late Cretaceous.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            That’s the iridium layer at the K-T boundary.

          • MynameisBlarney

            So…I should be getting superpowers any minute then.
            Right?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            No, you get those from humping unicorns.

      • DerrickWildcat

        I think that’s the Turkey

        • MynameisBlarney

          Can’t be.
          Surely Craig wouldn’t skimp on the turkey!

    • DerrickWildcat

      Well, it seems to have everything.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Except for appeal.

      • SayItWithWookies

        I don’t see a layer of pumpkin pie.

        • DerrickWildcat

          Hmmm.

        • MynameisBlarney

          That orange line near the bottom.
          Yeah, that’s the dessert layer.
          No one knows if it’s sweet taters, or punkin’ pie.

          • SayItWithWookies

            No, that’s turkey right below it, so that has to be the yams. Dessert would be at the top after the mashed potatoes.

          • SDGeoff3

            Ima say carrots.

      • aureolaborealis

        I don’t see the clams.

    • SayItWithWookies

      JustNCHomes.com? Oh shit, Virginia, it’s time to build the wall!

      • DerrickWildcat

        weird

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So Devin Nunes got the key to the city…..of Moscow. Excellent!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=88&v=Tf7k4U6qJns

    • SDGeoff3

      He may have to sneak in the back door following some dark and stormy hearing.

  • Jamoche

    Short headline on main page: “37 of 38 economists said the GOP tax plans would grow the debt”
    I’m thinking, and the 38th doesn’t believe the Trident gum claims either? Nope, even better: full headline is “The 38th misread the question.”

    http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/37-of-38-economists-said-the-GOP-tax-plans-would-12377297.php

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Am economist. Can confirm that some people are attached to the idea of tax cuts raising revenue despite the mountains of evidence to the contrary. To be fair, if the tax rate is very very high, and the revenue is horribly misused, it can be true.

      • jesterpunk

        So you are saying that letting Trump manage any money is a really bad idea?

        • Bemused Tralfamadorian

          Yes. As bad as Reagan, if not worse. Your tax-cutting republicans are absolutely off their heads. What they’re proposing would be disastrous.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            No it wouldn’t. Does Koch & co make money? Do smelly poors, science nerds, and other commie libs get harmed? Then as far as the GOP is concerned, the tax bill is a resounding success.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            Wrecking the budget and fucking up public investment does seem to be one of their priorities. I gladly concede the point.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            I’m a fan of Ms Klein.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        People are attached to the idea of tax cuts from “useless programs” that go to help “those people” they hate and see as not welcome in the country. Anti-poor hatred, anti-immigrant hatred, and inter-ethnic strife seems to exist everywhere you go. But the U.S. seems unique in its rabid disgust of, in particular, public schoolteachers and university students.

        You look at these message boards and there are thousands of commenters expressing glee and delight about their fantasy of teachers being laid off and ending up homeless — not on welfare, mind you, but having absolutely nothing at all, not even food or a roof over their heads. Presumably, once the teachers are homeless, they’ll be ripe for the “picking” (in other words, open season to be disposed of by “patriots” with AR15s).

        Even parents who send their children to “government schools” are deemed enemies of the state. Especially if they also too work public-service jobs. (Unless dad is a cop. They love cops. But only tough-guy cops. Mom being a cop means she must be a liberal dyke lesbian.)

        Sure, Oliver Wendell Holmes was a eugenicist. But he also said that he enjoyed paying taxes because with them, he could buy civilization. America therefore doesn’t appear to be a civilized country considering how they recoil in horror about public investment, and especially how they view education as a socialist plot to destroy the nation from within. You learn sharing in kindergarten. Maybe they flunked out.

        • Jamoche

          Fred Clark (Slacktivist) makes some good points about that – once upon a time those folks were proud of our public school system (and public golf courses, and swimming pools, and libraries…). But then the government insisted that Those People had to use it too. Suddenly golf courses were sold off and turned private, swimming pools closed as dangerous and expensive, and as for schools and libraries – well, they were harder to kill, but they’re working on it.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Mon-Wed Fox News: BOYCOTT NFL!
    Thur Fox: Vikings vs Lions.

  • mancityRed6

    I’ll be heading off to my parent’s house for the day. the Thanksgiving feast will be spaghetti, with some ground beef added, and some garlic bread.
    we’re not big fans of turkey.

    • Anna Rompage

      In actually making a homemade bolognese with pappardelle for dinner this evening!

      • mancityRed6

        dad said he had a blender mixed sauce recipe he’ll give me when I show up

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I also too don’t like turkey… and I’m not a big fan of my family either. Though I do like spaghetti and garlic bread.

    • shastakoala

      We tend to skip Christmas dinner and order out. Usually Chinese food which I love. And since I’ll be recovering from surgery this sounds like a really good idea.

    • Johnatx

      Spag is good. We’re having sauerbraten. I’m always freaked out over getting food poisoning, so if we have turkey, it is like eating cardboard.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Goose is far superior IMHO.
      Though a bit more difficult to cook properly.

    • Sean Jungian

      I confess that I only cook turkey (for my family of *2* people) because:
      A) my boss gives me a free one, and
      B) so I can make turkey tetrazzini the next day and eat it for a week.

      • NastyBossetti

        Mmmmmm turkey tetrazzini!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Turkey tacos also, too.

      • SDGeoff3

        Yes! And Enchiladas Blancas!!

    • DerrickWildcat

      I don’t care for Turkey either. On the off chance that the Turkey came out perfect, I still only eat a small piece to be polite.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I like it ok, as long as it’s smothered in gravy.

      • Resistor Radio

        I could fill up on sides. I do like turkey, but damn, the sides are where it’s at!

    • SayItWithWookies

      I’m making stuffed shells. And garlic bread that should keep anyone who eats it safe from vampires for about a week. One stick of butter, six cloves of garlic, and a bunch of oregano, thyme and rosemary.

      • Marion in Savannah

        OOOOHH… We’re doing garlic bread this evening. I’ma add some herbs now, because that sounds DELISHIMOUS.

  • Sean Jungian

    “Leftover stuffing”

    HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha that’s adorable.

    • The Wanderer

      I know, right? Stuffing never lasts very long.

      • Sean Jungian

        Unless one subscribes to the abomination of “raisins or other fruit in stuffing”.

        • Marion in Savannah

          YOU MONSTER!

        • Bemused Tralfamadorian

          Sultanas are appropriate, if used judiciously.

          • Sean Jungian

            “Sultanas are appropriate…”

            *frostily* I think you can show yourself out.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            And with that teency weency insult, the stuffing wars began.

          • SDGeoff3

            Yeah buddy, I got your sultanas.

          • Shanzgood

            Sultanas always remind me of Kate Bush.

            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GPB4GM-WwwY

          • Sean Jungian

            Well I certainly don’t mind being reminded of the amazingly talented Kate Bush!

        • The Wanderer

          Pfeh. Raisins and other fruit go in bread pudding (which is stuffing, but dessert).

        • MynameisBlarney

          I got mad one time there was apple in the stuffing.
          I was like, this is a prank, right?
          The REAL stuffin’ is still in the oven right?

          • Sean Jungian

            My mom put raisins in the stuffing one year and it was the biggest con job I think she ever tried.

            Let me just say, the raisin stuffing experiment was NOT repeated.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          And then the murders began.

          • Resistor Radio

            Hey, let me know if you ever organize a central Kentucky drinky thing. Much closer than the Pacific Northwest.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I made my cranberry relish and baked the sweet potatoes, cleaned out the fridge, and stuck the turkey in a sink full of cold water. Did anything happen while I was away?

    • SDGeoff3

      Nope. Not a damn thing. Mango Doofus and the Assorted Doofi have fled to parts southeast so it is very quiet.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Assorted Doofi is my new emo-punk-ska garage band name.

        • SDGeoff3

          As it should be.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    “How can you give us a recipe for leftover stuffing? There’s no such thing!” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf9b8f7fc1b5736d6756994928ae9c93521826d40fae642ef23b492ac4c1c706.jpg

    • shastakoala

      Is that your baby?

      • janecita

        That’s one adorable baby:-)

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Thank you! His Grammie (me) thinks so, too. :)

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        That is my babby grandson! Isn’t he adorable?

        • shastakoala

          He’s beautiful!

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      That baby’s gonna be chewy the next day.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    That looks good but I never seem to have any stuffing left over that I don’t want to have with the rest of the T-day leftovers. Maybe I’ll make an extra batch of stuffing just for this…

  • Anna Rompage

    For those of you that want to mess with your guests head.

    It’s thanksgiving turkey cake, with layers of turkey, stuffing & mashed potatoes on the inside, and frosted with mashed potatoes… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1d025ced5b232f9851bb5ddb53722824f87b539f5467c1167d2ce27d9a866428.jpg

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      That. Is. Awesome.

      You’re giving me ideas for christmas.

    • NastyBossetti

      I’m not a fan of sweet potato with marshmallow, but the rest of it sounds good to me!

      • Paul

        Substitute squash for the sweet potatoes maybe?

    • CountryClubJihadi

      I could probably eat that every day.

    • DerrickWildcat
      • Anna Rompage

        Whoa, that’s pretty awesome!

      • NastyBossetti

        That reminds me of a pulled pork parfait I got off a bbq food truck once:
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3678b2cde6852773e0cfd9e4272f5cfb9c764f302e6128373ad19b581fc8b829.jpg

      • TundraGrifter

        There was a famous “political” restaurant on Market Street, San Francisco, that had the “Moyer” as its signature dish. Two sizes. A hamburger patty (cooked) with mashed potatoes on top, then a slice of cheese and a very light sauce/gravy. I’ve never seen it on another menu, before or since. But I’ve made it a few times for myself.

    • jowgajen

      My only thing with this is that there is no way it’s served at an acceptably hot temp. It would melt. And serving it cold would be gross.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Believe me, you don’t want to see what’s for dessert.

  • Smoke O’Hontas

    OT: Happy Turkey Days, terrible ones! I ducked out for a couple weeks after a fraud scare (deleted all the stuff, reset a bunch of shit, did things to my drives that reminded me of bad Sunday mornings in college) but all good now. Been recovering from surgery and lurking on percacet since Monday, dreading…well, most things going on these days. This recipe reminds me there are still things to look forward to: putting family obligations in the rear view and leftovers on the table! And indictments. Lots of indictments.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I was wondering about you this morning ( : : )

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Oh, I’ve been watching you ;-)

        • Shanzgood

          He’s better clean it up before Christmas or it’s time for coal lumps!

          • janecita

            He is used to that. He is been on the naughty list since forever.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            I’m not checking for lumps in that “stocking” again! I fell for that trick last year :-)

        • MynameisBlarney

          We’ve ALL been watching Triple O.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Yay! Good to see you back

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Glad to be back! Although, looks like it’s been a good week to be drugged up and off-line if there ever was one.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      bummer!

      But glad you’re back

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Me too! I’ve missed the vile snark mob!

    • janecita

      Are you feeling better?

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Very much better, thank you. And happy to pull my head out of pill fog so I can go back to my usual rage fog just in time for the turkey coma booster. Added bonus for handy abbreviated family time excuse.

        • janecita

          I’m glad that you are feeling better. I hope that you don’t have to cook tomorrow, because that would suck.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            Ha! I’m sending the boys out to deal with family early and plan to pop in long enough to eat pie, exchange hugs and tell my BiL to do the fucking dishes himself for a change. Oh, and snag leftovers. I hope everyone else has either a good family or an equally good excuse to dodge them!

    • BosGrl

      Welcome back! And not to sound like a PITA, but please be careful with those Percocet. We love you.

      • Smoke O’Hontas

        Love you right back! And hugs for caring! I’m not much into the pillz or the side effects, I’m an herbal girl, and I missed my beer :-)

        • BosGrl

          Beer = good :D

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Some good advice on what to do with those leftovers

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3335KNFYK1I

    • SDGeoff3

      This is excellent.

  • janecita
    • Resistor Radio

      Woah, that is a good deal. I just need a partner in crime to go with me!

      • janecita

        Malta is safe, go on your own. It’s worth it, Malta is amazingly beautiful.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Oh, that sounds awesome. I’ll have to make some stuffing cuz where I do thanksgiving doesn’t have the kind I like. No big, it’ll be well worth it.

  • paintinggeorgia

    Our Thanksgiving dinner is a mess of crab legs, corn on the cob, and Kentucky bourbon pecan pie. Christmas is goose and duck. We have turkey throughout the year so it’s not a special occasion food for us.

    • janecita

      I hate turkey. Can I come over your house? I like your menu better.

      • paintinggeorgia

        Sure come on over…it’s fun. Huge family including my husband’s first wife, current husband and their four kids, my kids, my husband’s kids, friends, and other relatives and the best part is every single one is LIBERAL.

        • janecita

          Dude, you are so lucky!

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Tell ‘em you’re a Moore volunteer. Watch hilarity ensue!

          • paintinggeorgia

            They know me way too well!!!

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        So you’d prefer they weren’t pardoned?

        • janecita

          Pardon them all! Let’s cook lamb instead.

          • Shanzgood

            I did that for Thanksgiving one year (all Greek themed). My stepdad was not thrilled (“lamb tastes so…biblical”) so I made him a separate turkey breast.

          • NastyBossetti

            I’ve never heard “biblical” as a flavor before. I’m going to use that for everything now.

          • janecita

            I would have loved that meal, I’m a big fan of Greek food.

          • Shanzgood

            Me, too! I made dolmas and everything! And served retsina. Mom thought it tasted like Pine Sol.

            I swear, they’re not closed-minded or overly critical! I found their comments really funny!

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            I boned, rolled, and slow roasted a lamb shoulder on the weekend. Served with a yogurt and garlic sauce.

          • janecita

            That sounds amazing. I love lamb, I usually cook it Persian or Moroccan style.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            That first step sounds vaguely criminal.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            I’m an NZ citizen. There’s a degree of disconnect between the national pastime and the law of the land.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    I just stood in line for 90 minutes to pick up a Honey Baked Ham at my 83 year old mother’s request. The line of people was like a mix of prison visitors and Grayhound Bus station. All for some factory farmed horror I don’t plan to touch. Team Stuffing!

    • TundraGrifter

      A Honey Baked Ham is worth the wait! Save the scraps and bits from cutting slices and the bone (of course) and make red beans and rice!

      • janecita

        I make split peas soup with it.

        • TundraGrifter

          Good – but not the dish sent from heaven that is real red beans and rice. For New Years Day we toss in a few black-eyed peas, just for luck.

          • janecita

            I’m Cuban, I’m very particular with my rice and beans.

          • Shanzgood

            When I lived in Seattle, there was a Cuban restaurant/cafe within walking distance. It was SO good and gave me a lifelong love of spicy black beans.

          • TundraGrifter

            Moors & Christians?

          • janecita

            Yum!! And of course, Arroz Congrí.

          • TundraGrifter

            Those are great dishes – very different from red beans and rice. We were in New Orleans a number of years ago and I ate that dish once a day. This year we have the genuine creole red beans! Can’t wait. I’ve never used green pepper – probably not this year.

        • Marion in Savannah

          That also too.

        • SDGeoff3

          Tell me when!!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      HB hams ain’t so bad. Just cut the sweet with a nice sharp mustard and/or fresh tomatoes if you got ‘em.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    sooooo, I got my “welcome package” from the PTK group…uh, what am I supposed to do with this little trinket thingy? It looks like a pin. Is it a necklace? an earring? a nipple ring?!

    Your input is appreciated.
    (This is not a joke to “show off” that I’m a victim of a super duper awesome comm college grift – I genuinely don’t know what this thing is for).

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1dec56e2de93eb7d0e5eaabe6e9911ca14450763f35239ce991e07d9f69de798.jpg

    • jowgajen

      I have to agree it’s a grift. But hey, if it’s a fun grift, be grifted.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        the consensus was it would be one more thing for my resume. (I was hesistant as well – although they do have scholarships).

        • jowgajen
          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i actually bought a russian and I think NK one of those at gov’t auction once.

            Made some okay money on it.

        • Courser_Resistance

          They do! I didn’t take advantage cuz non-traditional student, but I *still* get invitations to apply from some outstanding schools (or at least they have recognizable names).

          You will also be eligible to wear honor cords at graduation, which I happen to think may be the best part.

    • janecita

      Cock ring;-)

      • Shanzgood

        That’s mean!

        • Lance Thrustwell

          How about a charm on a cock bracelet?

          • janecita

            Just like a Pandora bracelet, you keep on adding charms to it.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Talk about notches on yr belt!

        • janecita

          Some of them look good.

          • Shanzgood

            I just meant because it was so timy!

          • janecita

            Oh God, that’s hilarious!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            nope, this isn’t crushing what little self-confidence i gained back in the last three weeks…nope, not one bit.

            ; p

          • janecita

            Come on, you look awesome after working out like a maniac!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, seeing as how you haven’t even seen me lately! (Also, these teeth need major major work…sigh. At least I’ll hopefully be fit by the time I can afford it).

          • janecita

            Have you tried going to the dentistry schools around your area? They do the work free or at a very low cost. I sent one of my clients to the Rutgers Dentistry School and she was very happy with the results.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s for your headdress. Wear it with face paint and a fierce attitude.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        ah, NOSE RING!
        Of course.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          No, no… well, maybe.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I have that too. You can do whatever you want with it, i.e. put it on a keyring or even make it into a tree ornament if you want. I think mine is still in the box, along with both my high school and university rings.

    • Arolpin

      Is it a wine-bottle stopper by chance? Or a flask?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        sadly no – super tiny – like less than an inch high.

        • SDGeoff3

          In that case, it’s body jewelry.

        • Serai 1

          Might be a tie tack. Have you looked on the back of it?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i was hoping, as I need a new tie tack – but it’s only magnetic, so I’m GUESSING it’s a lapel thing.

    • TundraGrifter

      That looks like a “charm” that would hang from a watch chain across your vest. Isn’t that a “key?”

      • Marion in Savannah

        Watch fob.

        • TundraGrifter

          That’s the word I was looking for! Thank you!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Smoke O’Hontas

      That’s a right fancy nipple ring you got there!

    • Courser_Resistance

      It’s a lapel pin, basically. Wear it whenever you wear a blazer/sport jacket/whatever guys wear. Not on your shirt collar cuz that would be… weird.

      Basically, it can be an opening with someone who knows what it is. Sort of a networking item. But granted, it’s hard to know what to do with things like this. I have a couple of challenge coins that fall in the same category.

  • arglebargle

    Drain the fat? A barely disguised dig at el Presidente, perhaps?

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    The Joe Barton household will be serving goose tomorrow and everyday until the end of his term.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/02c71bf05a1511783a7e72c0822261e7fd02cc157dc8457664cac62e9c2dc8d1.jpg

    • TundraGrifter

      Looks like your goose is cooked.

    • Serai 1

      I LOVE goose. Only got to eat it once, but I’ve been longing to have it again ever since. So much better than turkey.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Me too, but it can be a little tricky to cook. Duck is more forgiving.

        • Bemused Tralfamadorian

          Goose is a bloody nightmare. Best to just force feed them then eat their livers.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            That’s what my mom used to say to the other moms at boy scout den mother meetings. She always wondered why she wasn’t invited back.

        • Marion in Savannah

          We used to have goose every Christmas (since I was a kid), but now that it’s just 2 of us for dinner this year we’ll be having duck. Similar, but goose…

      • Marion in Savannah

        It’s damn near impossible to find fresh goose any more. But you probably can find frozen. The main thing to remember is to prick the fat all over the breast carefully — just the fat, not down into the meat, and then every 15 or 20 minutes drain off the fat at the bottom of the roaster. SAVE THAT GOOSE FAT! It’s the best thing in the world to fry potatoes in.

      • Resistor Radio

        I’ve never had goose before!

        • Serai 1

          My sister-in-law made it for Christmas one year. It used to be the traditional Christmas dinner in England before turkey came along.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    So, in case anyone needs some help minimizing the risk of holiday weight gain, may I present an appetite suppressant direct from Montreal. “Buttery Males” was much better. This, this is, um… well, you be the judge.

    “The scariest thing you’ll see this week”: Montreal wax museum is mocked online for “dreadful” sculpture of Justin Trudeau

    Is it just me or does the wax statue of Justin Trudeau look more like a future Trudeau when the stress catches up with him at the end of his term and actually starts looking his age?

    I dunno, I think whoever this guy is made JT look like Liam Neeson if he was in Brazil. I hope he didn’t turn Pierre into a Conehead or something, also too.

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/11/22/14/4696D84400000578-5107759-image-a-13_1511362116400.jpg

  • Suttree

    I assume that we are switching threads now. This is the new open.

    • arglebargle

      Imma waiting for the next one. I stopped by here and the little clicker thingy was already over 300. This place is really busy for not allowing comments.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Hey Suttree!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Closed is the new open!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Ok, I’m outta here.
    Catch y’all later.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Cheers!

    • SDGeoff3

      Happy Thanksgiving!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Knock ‘em dead, Blarney.

  • Shanzgood
    • jowgajen
    • arglebargle

      Grocery shopping is done. Liquor, however…

    • NastyBossetti

      Clearly you should wait until around 10PM.

      • Shanzgood

        I just might. My daughter wants me to make Mac ‘n’ Cheese to take tomorrow night and I decided to do the Wonkette recipe.

        • Smoke O’Hontas

          DO it! My fam still hassles me for that sekrit recipe.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m a little hesitant to make it considering I might not be able to eat it. Or have terrible regrets if I do. But it looks SO good.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            I make occasional exceptions to my low gluten diet. This one is worth it unless the consequences are dire. If you get to gas out the family that’s just a bonus in my book.

          • Shanzgood

            No, that’s my dad’s job. The ingredients would do a different bad thing to me within about 20 minutes but at least it’s usually over quickly.

            And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

    • Suttree

      I walked to the store earlier. My shins hurt. I have a big bottle though. :)

      • TundraGrifter

        Shin splints? Those are the worst!

    • dshwa

      I just realized I forgot to grab carrots. Do not want to go!

      • BosGrl

        Substitute Cheetos. No one will know the difference.

        • dshwa

          Baking them with honey ginger and orange juice. Might turn out a bit different with Cheetos.

          • BosGrl

            Yeah, they’ll disappear.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You might invent a new kind of piecrust.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      My sympathies. I went last night and it was already insane.

      • NastyBossetti

        I went to Trader Joe’s on Sunday to see if they had Candy Cane Joe-Joes, and the entire store was filled with people waiting in line, up and down every aisle. NOPE!

      • Resistor Radio

        I’ve gotta do it tomorrow morning.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I forgot beer. My local store is open until 10. I will wait until 7 when everyone is eating dinner, and if the parking lot is full I will drive 1 mile to the 7-Eleven.

  • Me not sure

    I just saw a headline that had the name of Texas GOP congressman Joe Barton and the words “leaked nude selfie”
    In it. There goes my appetite.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      The number of people who think they are gorgeous when they are naked AND think that other people would want to see them naked AND are stupid enough to take a picture of same and send it out into The Forever Internet is simply astonishing. When I read about this I think either 1) alcohol is involved or 2) they are less than 15 years old.

      • Shanzgood

        Oops

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I should have added 3) Photoshop is involved.

        • OutOfOrbit

          You didn’t?… did you?

          • Shanzgood

            I had to prove to baconz that I wasn’t an 82yo retired trucker with a voice-changer on his phone.

          • Impatient

            OT, but I just got the impression you might be in contact/aware of someone who got hit in the online “storm” a couple days ago. Pass her best holiday wishes, if appropriate?

          • Shanzgood

            She specifically requested that nobody email her so I won’t. She has some very sensitive boundaries and I don’t want her to think I’m being disrespectful. So I’ll wait until she decides to come back on her own. Hopefully soon.

          • OutOfOrbit

            It ok. Naughty is fine and fun. You donut gotta lie to liddle ol’ me

          • Shanzgood

            Why would I lie? Ask baconz!

          • OutOfOrbit

            He would tell?! And you wouldn’t mind?! Whew!

          • Shanzgood

            He’s a lot more forward than I am!

          • OutOfOrbit

            that’s ok i won’t ask i just been joshin yuh know. carry on ( :

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I don’t even think I’m all that attractive while clothed, never mind au naturel. I kind of wish the West would adopt burkas just so those of us who aren’t “tens” can cover up all the way. But this? This is narcissism, pure and simple. Alcohol doesn’t help, but it’s not always necessary.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I found some African robes called “Grand Boubou” at Salvation Army for $10 each (dirt cheap) and I trimmed the sleeves back about a foot so they weren’t so bulky, and I wear them everywhere. They are comfortable, flattering and cool. You can find them online in hundreds of styles and colors, but they are not cheap, so I haunt ethnic stores and international festivals in college towns looking for cheap ones.
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a79a46d57491a5bd808420df1299ec18bd5bb0803f9f405013cc5f2c680753bc.jpg

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Cool. Doesn’t cover the face, though. I can cover the rest of me plenty. It’s the mediocre mug I want to hide.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            To be honest, I found that after I passed 55 nobody actually looked at me anymore, not even my face. I am now 61 and practically invisible. By age 70 I will have vanished completely.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            33. Got a long way to go. At least 7 years.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m signed significantly older than you and it hasn’t stopped.

    • kLo

      I read the headline at work and let out an audible “EEEW. NOPE.” Fortunately the only people here are me and the other closet liberal…and he’s gone. OK I am leaving right after I enter my time.

      • Me not sure

        Cocktober is late this year.

  • Serai 1
    • Lance Thrustwell

      He always seemed like a nice guy too. Sorry Serai. We all get to watch our childhoods transfer to pure memory. Ain’t gettin’ old a gas?

  • Suttree

    I am not happy but for this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZS-B1Afc1c

  • Joe Beese

    Yes! Aim for the groin and belly!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOkOBm2V4nE

    • Joe Beese

      It is incredibly unusual for a Senate campaign to descend into questions over whether a major-party candidate sexually abused children. But here we are.

      https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/11/22/16691456/doug-jones-roy-moore-abuser-ad

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That is a GOOD fucking ad! Run that shit!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      They left Kayla Kisor off the list. Moore noticed her performing at a dance recital when she was 15. But (supposedly) waited until she was in her twenties to, um, woo her. And, unless a family member was performing, what the fuck was a 30 year old man doing at a high school girls dance recital?

      • Shanzgood

        I thought I read she was 18-19 and it was at a juco thing.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    A friend just sent me this link – of websites that record all your keystrokes. No surprise that Microsoft and Adobe are on the list.
    https://webtransparency.cs.princeton.edu/no_boundaries/session_replay_sites.html

    • Joe Beese

      Aw, c’mon, they’re just trying to… ah… improve the customer experience!

      Yeah, that’s the ticket.

      • bbayliss

        For your safety and convenience.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I’m going to guess the list can be summarized as AOT,K.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        From my brief skimming, yes.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Not really, in fact I don’t use any of them except Microsoft and Adobe, and those only rarely. RT is on there, of course. But I am sure this is only a partial list.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          The ones we know of, anyway. Might be good to put those “session replay companies” in your hosts file or firewall blocklist and use a script blocker in the browser.

    • Resistor Radio

      Ok, for those of us that are dumb, does this mean that while you’re visiting one of these sites they may be recording your keystrokes, and that data is then saved as you, for advertising purposes when you visit other sites, or only on that particular site? And if you’ve got one of them open in a tab, for example, can they record your keystrokes happening in other tabs/different sites? Is this all to serve targeted advertising purposes, so they do other stuff with this information too? Any way you can dumb this down for me would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It is safe to assume that what they are doing with your keystrokes is anyone’s guess, because they are not going to tell the truth. I’m sure they come up with new ways to use the information weekly, if not daily.

        I use Firefox. I have sites I go to quite often, and I will go to one on, say, Monday, and go back on Tuesday and find the site doesn’t work because they changed something without testing it on Firefox (maybe they added a keystroke program, maybe something else, they will deny making any changes regardless). If you call their tech support, they say “Try using another browser” and I say “No, I will not do that, and if you can’t make your site work on one of the most popular browsers in the world then you are idiots and do not deserve my business.”

  • OddMan

    This is from last year, I do the same every year, bbq that bird in the webber.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7a51438379812afe3e28d9e32ab10a2555cc7ec9ae7d2cee659550532491299b.jpg

    • Shanzgood

      That looks tasty!

    • NastyBossetti

      Yes! I was just saying… on one of these threads somewhere… that more people should smoke their turkeys.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        more people should smoke their turkeys.

        but does it get ya high?

        (sorry, couldn’t help it)

        • NastyBossetti

          Only if you can find rolling papers big enough.

          • The Wanderer

            My brother uses a bong* to smoke his turkeys.

            *It’s an electric smoker, but there’s a pan of water at the bottom. So what else could it be?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Nickname is acceptable, as long as whenever he takes a sniff of the cooking bird, he whispers dude! and gestures for you to take a turn.

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            We would also accept whoa!

          • “Ear…” also, too.

          • The Wanderer

            Actually, I call it that, and admonish him to not bogart it. Then he opens the lid and we both take a hit.

          • Shanzgood

            Random…I remember when I first got here on Wonkette and thought your name was kind of offensive.

            Hahahaha!

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Wait a minute. Am I to understand that my edgy persona is defanged? Neutered? By god, I won’t have it! I’m dangerous, missy, and don’t you forget it.

            Now what cooking tips were we discussing again?

          • Shanzgood

            It involves fire so don’t panic! You’re still at risk of serious injury from cooking!

          • Doug Langley
          • Shanzgood

            Just the title is enough.

            My XH (British) and his brother decided to rev up the progress on the Weber by squirting more lighter fluid directly onto the coals. That did not go well.

          • Doug Langley

            Famous last words. “Hand me the lighter fluid.”
            “But you’re not supposed to squirt it onto hot coals . . .”
            “Ah, they just say that to protect themselves.”

          • Shanzgood

            They were on the balcony, too.

          • Doug Langley

            Oh my god.

          • efoveks

            Weird looking water pipe you got there! ;)

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Check out the art supply stores. B-I-G papers.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Keeping it lit is a bitch…

        • Paul

          Talk about low hanging fruit…

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        “smoke their turkeys” … is that what the kids are calling it these days?

        • Angela Ruzzo

          For some reason your non-comment gave me a mental image of Andy Griffith standing on his porch in Mayberry saying “Well, smoke my turkey!” I think this means I am OLD.

          • Paul

            Take some Geritol and turn on Lawrence Welk.

      • Arolpin

        Well, the 28-30 pound bird I have wouldn’t fit in my grill, but the 7 pound breast is going on the smoker in the morning. Going to do an apple cider brine overnight, and I might even go with some cajun spices on the skin

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Looks good. I’m going to cook up some Max Weber!
      (and sell it to Trump)

      https://uploads8.wikiart.org/images/max-weber/invocation.jpg

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        Sadly, social constructivism explains the Trump phenomenon rather well.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          More like social destructivism.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Max Ernst or GTFO.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Nice. The circle o’ fire method.

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        Do you prefer the Johnny Cash or the Pacific Volcanic Ring version?

    • Kakariki

      It’s fucking 88 degrees in San Diego right now, so looks like I can just roast my bird on the asphalt tomorrow.

    • OddMan

      It really is not that hard, get a 12 – 14 pound bird. Use circle of fire method. Take the temperature a lot. Use lots of hickory chips, keep the fire going. Does not take long, and cooks the dark meat more than the white. People will fight over a piece of that mahogany skin. I stuff it with a lot of rosemary.

      https://www.weber.com/US/en/grill-skills/mastering-turkey/turkey-cooking-methods/roasting-a-whole-turkey-on-the-grill

      • Jonny On Maui

        Try apple or cherry. They work well too.

    • Jonny On Maui

      The only way to go. Do you have the rotisserie attachment? That’s how I do mine.

      • OddMan

        I don’t have a rotisserie, yet. I see that Amazon has one that will fit my old webber for about $90.
        Hmm.
        A rotisserie would be less work, with this method one does have to move the bird a couple of times.
        But I like the way the bottom of the bird gets hotter this way, if you are careful you can get the perfect white meat temp of 165 and dark meat at 185.

        Happy tryptophan to all and to all a good burp.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Alert for WayFair shoppers…last time I shopped there I did NOT select “Express Checkout” but instead selected “PayPal” and was told “You will now be redirected to the PayPal site to log in and authorize payment.” Except I wasn’t sent to the PayPal site, instead WayFair just authorized the payment instantly.

    I have been going back and forth with their tech support people for 3 weeks, and the last email said this:

    This option does not need to be manually selected to get the “express checkout”. It happens automatically based on customers meeting certain conditions. The express checkout process uses the most shipped to address and the default credit card in order to skip the shipping and billing pages in the checkout process. This helps to reduce the effort required to go through the check out process.

    Sorry, WayFair, you just lost my business. Even Amazon isn’t that bad, and they are pretty bad.

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    Always zest and juice a lemon into your stuffing mix. Always.

    • Serai 1

      This is good advice for most dishes, I’ve found.

  • NastyBossetti

    Goodbye and Happy Thanksgiving, Wonkers! I am going to walk my dog and then go out to see some live rock n roll music with MrBossetti, my sister-in-law, and our oldest niece who is just back from her very first stint away at college!

    • The Wanderer

      Have fun!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Happy turkey day!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Thappy Hanksgiving!

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      Sounds like you’re doing it right! Carry on.

    • BosGrl

      Have a wonderful time and Happy Thanksgiving!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yikes!

    There are 279 delayed flights across the US right now

    Thank God I’m not traveling today, and good luck to those of you who are!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Whoo!

    • BosGrl

      But… but Trump said airports are running smoothly. Oh – I see. The airports are running smoothly. The planes, not so much.

    • Serai 1

      Must be why Twitler was yelling about how COMPLETELY HASSLE-FREE the flying is this year.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    My recipe for Thanksgiving dinner is:
    – Call restaurant.
    – Make reservation.
    – Show up.
    – Eat.
    – TIP GENEROUSLY!

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Yup. Blind Tiger this year, just me and the Mrs.

    • CeeQ

      Hey me too this year!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Jonny On Maui

      Something about rats and sinking ships…

    • Doug Langley

      You’d almost think a Trump endorsement is the kiss of death.

      • Mormos

        then i can think of a few more politicians i’d like him to endorse

    • The Wanderer

      Probably the revelation from some officials that they knew Moore liked young girls for their ‘purity,’ but did nothing.

    • TJ Barke

      Everything he touches turns to shit.

    • aureolaborealis
  • Nounverb911
    • Mormos

      not the brown drug traffickes though

  • memzilla Ω

    One of the best things about living in NYC is you can get practically anything delivered to your door. Let the pre-tryptophan celebrations commence!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a940553ce13c856d032d4999f2995b75387bfeb70e21384a6a67ff12f1c9dedc.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • bbayliss

      Always remember, correlation is not necessarily causation.
      but it’s not necessarily not.

      • Raan

        My theory is that every time Trump opens his mouth, he ruins his reputation a little more.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Insert Grumpy Cat “Good” meme here.

  • memzilla Ω
    • jesterpunk

      I think they have the right idea

    • hudson

      i don’t get it. what’s funny/wrong? the doctors do advice at least a single serving of fruit and grains with every meal?

  • Rick Hill
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
      • Joe Beese

        I once edited Ron Paul’s page to change the first mention of his name to Ron “Ru” Paul and the Wikifascists chewed me out like I had said he was convicted on child pornography charges.

        No fucking sense of humor over there.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson
        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          It’s either that or the fact that you disgraced the name of their patron saint of cranky old spoiler politicians. When Ron/Ru faded from the limelight (and got replaced by his idiot son, who has all of the same shitty political views and none of dad’s quasi-charming senile eccentricity), they latched onto Grandpa Trotsky from Vermont.

    • jesterpunk

      For some reason my autocorrect changes his name to Idjit Pac.

    • hudson

      in native, ajita pai tikkadoLge kai
      roughly: so full of himself has hands up his own ass

    • Serai 1

      Sorry, misspellings I wouldn’t have been allowed to make in third grade always turn me right off.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Nikki Haley LIBUUUUUULLLLLLZZZZZZZ!!!11!!

  • Joe Beese
  • Raan

    Sci-fi idea: Pneumatic mass driver weaponry.

    • Joe Beese

      Goddamned steam!

      • Raan

        Nah, man. Hydrogen. Pressurize some behind a titanium (or futuristic alloy), open the valve and watch ‘er fly!

    • Alternative Dog

      Explosions! We need explosions. Even if you can’t hear them in space.

      • shivaskeeper

        Always a good alternative.

    • shivaskeeper

      Electric/magnetic would work better. I couldn’t even conceive of the pressure tank you would need to make a pneumatic mass driver. Plus the is only so fast you can equalize the pressure for a launch.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Which reminds me: did the steam-powered rocket go up today? Did it prove Earth is flat?

  • Alternative Dog

    Posted this elsewhere because who the hell knows which post is the open thread.

    https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/933443824533360645

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      AOT,K. ‘Tis the season.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Or Chinese. Either way.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Just read this:
    Catholic School Statue Covered Up For Being Too Gross And Weird
    https://www.yahoo.com/news/catholic-school-statue-covered-being-074924831.html

    Yes, I would say that statue might be considered suggestive. It’s a piece of bread, BTW. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0eb568972bcc6e7a3a4099780f9952fadcadc6fe59d28f9d9bceec69c9b738d1.jpg

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I laughed. I admit it before Man and God.

    • jesterpunk

      They really need an 8 year old kid to approve these things, if they start giggling then back to the drawing board.

    • DerrickWildcat

      Here, have a potato.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Shouldn’t that be “Here, hold my potato”?

      • Raan

        What is this, Christmas?

      • Thiazin Red

        I’ve seen old Dark House so many times that I’m hearing that in Ernest Thesinger’s voice.

        • OneYieldRegular

          That’s fine stuff.

          • Thiazin Red

            Its only gin you know. I like gin.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Nothing to see here, just an old Irish monastic tradition.

    • Thiazin Red

      What was the name of the sculpture, Bored saint half assedly handing out raw potatoes to kid?

      • Raan

        “here’s a potato or whatever”
        “aww yiss”

    • shastakoala

      Does the plaque say, “Is that a Potato or Are You Just Happy to See Me?”

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Let’s call the whole thing off…

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      That doesn’t even look like a child. That there is a homunculus.

      • Raan

        The love child of Danny DeVito and Vern Troyer.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Hey, come on now. Nobody messes with the Lollipop Guild.

          • TootsStansbury

            Saint Spudly there sure looks like he wants to.

          • SDGeoff3

            Those who have tried…well…

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      This year in weird art. Trudeau’s awful wax figure, his far better buttery males sculpture, and meanwhile in Merica, Steve Bannon’s Napoleon portrait (haha) and now… a little kid getting his hands on a priest’s “spud.”

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ellen D.

      We’ll just file that picture right next to the What-were-they-thinking light switch. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/291791983616309fa3bb41d79a89b3da36137fec9f5bd50d7fd42f44e423547c.jpg

      • SDGeoff3

        We were waiting for this! You can get them on ebay, and I believe they glow in the dark, which is even creepier.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Jeeze, take me back in time, why don’t you! I remember that from 60 years ago, but I wish I didn’t.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • jowgajen

    Chef Jose Andres is cooking up 40,000 Turkey Dinners in PR:

    https://twitter.com/chefjoseandres/status/933431320646176768

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    In fairness, this is probably the most presidential he’s ever been:

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/933447008181981185

    • Lance Thrustwell

      But even there, he cannot avoid the superlative! HighEST! It is his very lifeblood.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        If everything becomes superlative hyperbole, then nothing is anything.

        A nihilist, is our president.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          The greatest nihilist!

          The Nihilistest!

    • BosGrl

      Taking credit for people going home for Thanksgiving. People traveling to the warmth of their old bedrooms to hide out under the covers and pretend it’s any other freaking year.

      • 3FingerPete

        Going home to hug family one last time before everything goes to hell.

    • 3FingerPete

      He forgot to add “IT WAS ME.”

      • Alan

        Implied.

    • TootsStansbury

      Why didn’t he mention trains and the running on time thereof?

      • BosGrl

        Trains are for common Bidens, not Trumps.

    • hudson

      you know why right? because all travellers said thank you to Trump before their journey, and all signals, cars, planes, trains and human’s who control/monitor them are inspired by the fantabulous character of the POTUS himself.

      one another way to think about it is, everyone is so shit scared of life under POTUS that they are running to mommy.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Speaking of planes, trains and automobiles, this is what everyone who’s ever been insulted or otherwise demeaned by Trump, online or otherwise, needs to say to the asshole. Like when Kimmel has famous people read troll tweets. RIP.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIwhjp_c1d0

        • TundraGrifter
          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            “You’re fucked.”

          • Kakariki

            Edie McClurg is brilliant. I also loved her as Herb’s wife on WKRP in Cincinnati and in Elvira: Mistress of the Dark.

        • TundraGrifter

          You stole my idea for a Sunday open thread – favorite Holiday Movies. Not the obvious ones, of course. PT&A was one of my nominations. “The Thin Man” is another. You beat me to it!

    • 3FingerPete

      “…And then the murders began.”

    • Shanzgood

      What are the stats on international travel?

    • Raan

      God, this entire administration has become that local station in the CSA movie.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      except for the 200+ delayed flights.

      And yeah, KO.

    • Anna Rompage

      I’m sure the Trimp followers greatly appriciate Donad’s ability to control the weather & the airports too

    • Toledo Window Box

      He’s an idiot who just repeats shit he saw on the TV. It’s amazing.

    • Serai 1

      Wait, I though 279 flights are delayed??

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        “They aren’t delayed–they’re just taking a moment to express their gratitude to me!”

        – Donald Trump, probably

        PS: Any interest in going to LACMA this weekend?

        • Serai 1

          Absolutely! I’d love to go. Shoot me an email and we’ll coordinate. O/

    • Alan

      Can he make sure the cars all start this winter too?

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Fascists taking credit for transport running on time? That’s never ever happened before.

    • CeeQ

      “Ever since I became president no plane or train has been late or broken down. Traffic was running great. So tremendous. Bigly amazing. No one was late for work. Obama never did this. Look at the stock market. We’re looking into tax cuts! And have you seen all the good weather?? It’s becauss of me!!”

  • Anna Rompage

    The ham is close to being done!

    4 pound pork butt, dry cured for 5 days with my not so secret dry cure mix, then lightly smoked @250 degrees, over maple & hardwood charcoal for 5 hours. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e143d5638fe7bd1df42153cd0ff6840e033984762d08f6583b89c181aa3bc8f6.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Sorry, I need to go get a towel to mop up the drool.

    • Toledo Window Box

      That looks awesome! But some pig is walking around without a butt…

      • Alan

        Little known fact: butt is a shoulder cut.

        • Toledo Window Box

          That totally ruins the joke. (-;

          • Alan

            I know. Sorry.

      • Raan

        Did it come with a crate of boneless pork rectums?

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          I prefer them bone-in …?

    • Michael R

      HI PORK BUTT !!!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      What what on that butt?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      O Hell that looks trans-dimensionally, psychedelically, improperly delicious.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Nice appetizer! What’s for main course?

    • Crystalclear12

      Do you deliver?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Hey, I wonder if she’s a Wonkette commenter?

    https://twitter.com/BetteMidler/status/933384332588220418

    • The Wanderer

      A fine woman who giveth no fucks.

    • Alan

      Modern Mae West.

      • (((Aron)))

        Well said! Both smart, sexy, funny ladies. Bette can sing a whole lot better, though ;)

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I love Miss M. And I ain’t even gay!*

      *Waiting for Kiri to show up and say something like “Well, anyone can learn….”

      • (((Aron)))

        One of the absolutely greatest concerts I’ve ever been to.

    • Alternative Dog

      If I remember correctly, she was one of the best at hosting the Academy Awards.

    • TundraGrifter

      Mud will be flung TONIGHT!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • The Wanderer

      Love that last figure for the Previa’s acceleration.

      • Raan

        That reminds me of an old Lada joke. A guy takes his Lada to a mechanic and says, “The power on this is failing, I can only make it to sixty uphill.” The mechanic says, “That doesn’t sound too bad.” Guy replies, “But I live at sixty-eight.”

        • armed_bears

          Can I get a windshield wiper for my Lada?

          Seems like a fair trade.

    • Thiazin Red

      Sold!

    • TundraGrifter

      Several years ago we rented a car in Arizona that had a cooler under the air conditioner for a couple of beverages. I never saw that again.

  • armed_bears

    The concept of left-over stuffing eludes me. Are you doing it wrong?

    • armed_bears

      That’s what she asked.

    • BosGrl

      My aunt used to make this pineapple stuffing… One of those Betty Crocker ’60s recipes, but damn, it was good. My sister’s been making it the last few years but she health’d it up and it’s just not the same.

      • Stop trying to make things healthy! You’re just making them taste bad!

        • BosGrl

          If you don’t use a whole loaf of Wonder Bread and two sticks of butter, don’t bother making it at all!!!

          • Butter? Sounds too healthy. Bacon fat

          • BosGrl

            Bacon and pineapples… mmmm….

          • You lost me at pineapple. Unless i am weaponizing it to dissolve the flesh of my enemies

          • SDGeoff3

            They are very effective when dropped from above.

          • SDGeoff3

            Really!!

          • Raan

            Let’s southern state fair this up. Bacon wrapped pineapple rings, battered and deep fried.

          • armed_bears

            On a stick.

          • Raan

            Of butter.

          • Raan

            Fuck it, both. My body’s already a temple, ancient and crumbling, so why not lob some grenades in there?

        • armed_bears

          This should be said in a Homer Simpson voice for extra impact.

          • Raan

            His whiny voice, though.

    • Alan

      The concept of stuffing eludes me.

    • That’s why Leftover Crack is a great band name. (Also a great band.)

      • armed_bears

        Mandatory upvote for mentioning a band with an umlaut.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Keith, can you cut a bitch (yeah yeah, Rules for Radicals, with a tweet) please and thank you?

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/933449415251066882

    • The Wanderer

      I’ll pack it in when Trump says “Me so hawny” aloud in public.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      “I love you no shit G.I. buy me drink”

    • TundraGrifter

      The only order he ever gave was at a McDonald’s drive-up window.

      • BosGrl

        He has a drawer full of My Little Pony watches.

        • Raan

          He doesn’t even want them, he just doesn’t want other people to have them either.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “Me sucky sucky good time.”

      • Sheepshagger

        “Too beaucoup “

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      sounds like russian construction…just sayin’.

      • CripesAmighty

        In Trump America, submarine sink YOU!

  • Rick Hill

    Daguerreotype of Peter Mackintosh, who was a 16-year-old blacksmith in 1773. He’s best remembered by history for supplying the ash for patriots to disguise themselves on the way to the Boston Tea Party.
    http://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/3/4/8/639348_v2.jpg

    • Sheepshagger

      Still better hair than Trump.

    • Thiazin Red

      Is this a picture of an actual zombie?

      • SDGeoff3

        Patriot Zombie. Complete with bullet hole, is my guess.

        • jowgajen

          There was a tradition of taking pictures after death during that period. It was the only time the subject could hold completely still for the whole exposure.

          • Rick Hill

            This guy was quite alive, an actual participant in the Revolutionary war

          • BosGrl

            Not too many actual photos, I guess, of people from the Revolutionary War.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            That scans almost like “You wouldn’t have had much fun in Stalingrad”.

          • BosGrl

            I don’t get it. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy
          • BosGrl

            OHHHHH. I usually get Python references. :D

          • Rick Hill
          • BosGrl

            Oh, that’s cool, thanks!

          • Rick Hill

            Amazing, eh?

          • BosGrl

            Love those old photos.

          • SDGeoff3

            Thanks! Fascinating!

          • SDGeoff3

            And they were very creepy. Especially the children.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy
    • Raan

      “I helped these guys get you freedom, and this shit is what you do with it?”

    • TundraGrifter

      Christopher Walken has kind of let himself go.

      • Rick Hill

        “I…do not see….the…humor….in . Your remark…”

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          This revolution needs MOAR COWBELL!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Wow. I guess they drank pretty heavily in those days. He looks like hell for a boy of 16.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        They didn’t have moisturizers worth shit back then.

  • Ellen D.

    You lost me at “leftover stuffing.”

  • TJ Barke

    Because this entire administration is criminals: https://thinkprogress.org/kellyanne-conway-hatch-act-8765987220d5/

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Kellyanne Conway appeared Tuesday morning on Fox & Friends in her capacity as a White House official, but weighed in on the Alabama special election. Doing so appears to violate federal law, according to several legal experts and former ethics officials who served in previous administrations.

      Conway’s endorsement looks like it violated the Hatch Act, a regulations that limits federal employees’ involvement in partisan politics. The rule specifies that an official may not “use his official authority or influence for the purpose of interfering with or affecting the result of an election.”

      Walter Shaub, former director of the Office of Government Ethics, says he filed a formal complaint about the incident, in coordination with the Campaign Legal Center.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1747cfe20f713e1f64d52b2c19418f5ac527a0936e0615984f07337fea8b0807.gif

      • Rick Hill

        A trump related person broke a law? Add it to the list…yeah, that one over…there. The long ass mother(not even a joke, seriously)

      • TundraGrifter

        I read up a bit on the Hatch Act this morning and as I read it, it doesn’t apply to “Federal employees” – just those in the Executive Branch below the President and Vice President. But I’m open to more information on this.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Wouldn’t she count as part of the Executive Branch? She is a WH staffer after all.

        • TootsStansbury

          I’ve been pissed from day one that I pay these lying assholes’ salaries. To lie to us and steal from us.

        • Alan

          You misread.

          • TundraGrifter

            I was pretty much going with this:

            Fed​eral Employees

            All civilian employees in the executive branch of the federal government, except the President and the Vice President, are covered by the provisions of the Hatch Act. Employees of the U. S. Postal Service are also covered by the Act. Part-time employees are covered by the Act. Federal and District of Columbia employees subject to the Hatch Act continue to be covered while on annual leave, sick leave, leave without pay, or furlough. However, employees who work on an occasional or irregular basis, or who are special government employees, as defined in title 18 U. S.C. § 202(a), are subject to the restrictions only when they are engaged in government business. Federal employees fall within two categories under the Hatch Act, Further Restricted and Less Restricted.

            https://osc.gov/pages/hatchact-affectsme.aspx

        • Lord Jim

          If Richard Painter, who was Shrub’s chief ethics lawyer, rules it a violation, I’ll go with that.

    • jesterpunk

      The White House is now denying she broke the law and trying to gaslight everyone. But even the Daily Caller is saying she broke the law.

      http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/361595-white-house-pushes-back-on-concerns-conway-violated-hatch-act

      “Ms. Conway did not advocate for or against the election of a candidate, and specifically declined to encourage Alabamans to vote a certain way,” White House principal deputy press secretary Raj Shah said in a statement.

      “She was speaking about issues and her support for the President’s agenda. This election is for the people of Alabama to decide,” he said.

      Conway earlier this week spoke out about the Alabama Senate race and Democratic candidate Doug Jones.

      “Doug Jones in Alabama, folks, don’t be fooled. He will be a vote against tax cuts. He is weak on crime, weak on borders. He is strong on raising your taxes. He is terrible for property owners,” Conway said on “Fox & Friends.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Could have ended with “Texas Congressman Joe Barton Apologizes for Sending Nude Pic” FFS (and no, I won’t look at that myself, much less inflict it on you good Wonkers):

    https://twitter.com/TMZ/status/933405994964492288

    • Ewwwwww

    • How about “Apologizes to Universe for Ever Being Nude”

      • Raan

        God Apologies For All These Creepy Republicans

    • Jenny

      Ewwww

    • Sheepshagger

      “Pardon this turkey baby!”

      • Raan

        Jesus, has the pro-life crowd infiltrated the turkey pardoning now?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Why hasn’t Hillary denounced him yet??!?!?!?!?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        What is she hiding!!!!!

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          CHECK HER EMAILS!!!!111!!!1!!

          • Cock Blockula

            She should NOT check her emails in case he sent her one.

      • SDGeoff3

        She’s not in the mood. What could she possibly add?

    • BosGrl

      Why is it that olds can’t manage to work an iPod but give them a camera and a wireless plan and they’re all set.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Yglesias says this is all Bill Clinton’s fault.
      http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/11/lewinsky-scandal-revisionism

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The Clenis mightier than the sword.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Matthew Yglesias is the opposite of Lawrence O’Donnell: since Donald became POTUS, I like Lawrence more and more. Matty, OTOH, can GTFO as far as I’m concerned FFS.

    • Thiazin Red

      I hope whoever put them online is punished. Revenge porn is never okay, even when the victim is an idiot. He isn’t the one who has to apologize for sexting in a consensual relationship.

      • Alan

        Disagree.

  • Rick Hill

    Thanksgiving and losing our internets. Woho!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diYAc7gB-0A

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I am totally going to hell for laughing at this:

    https://twitter.com/TheDweck/status/933397748728004608

    • Crystalclear12

      Meet you in hell!

    • TootsStansbury

      Wonkette drinky thing in hell!

    • Sheepshagger

      Better to chuckle in hell than molest in heaven.

    • SDGeoff3
      • BosGrl

        I love the subtitle: For You But Not For Me. Trolls have been around forever.

        • SDGeoff3

          It’s from “Oh What A Lovely War” a British anti-war film. You can hear it on youtube.

          • BosGrl

            “O Death, where is thy sting-a-ling-a-ling?” Yeah, I’ve definitely gotta listen to that.

          • SDGeoff3

            It’s a toe-tapper.

    • CeeQ

      Fuck those evangelicals – defending pedophiles IS their values now! We can point and laugh and throw things at them. Preferably Starbucks cups that aren’t sufficiently “keeping the Christ” in Christmas.

  • Sheepshagger

    Man if you ever want an ego boost do what I did this morning- go to the secure mental health ward to get legal papers organised. Everyone loves you! The nurses are happy you’re there, the patients are pleased as punch, everybody tells you how good you look! It’s great. Bit of a problem with several people pretending to be lawyers too and wanting to leave with me but no big deal.

    • BosGrl

      <3

  • Jenny

    Saw Coco. Cried some ugly tears. The children, however were pretty ugly in behavior towards it. (Mainly his children)

    I feel like I spend all my time telling them to stop being assholes. Really hard to do because I’m totally an asshole but I mostly save that for this here internets.

    A whole day in the car with them tomorrow. Thoughts and prayers needed!!

    • jowgajen

      “Spend all your time telling them to stop being assholes” is pretty much the definition of parenting.

      • Jenny

        Maybe they’ll appreciate it later but mostly they just give me dirty looks. I already know I’m the evil step mother who never lets them have any fun and hates them!!!!

        • Sheepshagger

          You should carry a few apples and look meaningfully between them and the kids on the reg.

      • wait! what?

        It’s one of those instances where you can’t use reverse psychology. As in: “Be the biggest ass hole you can be and let’s see where that gets you.”

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa611235a775b20794add367272516a57673950c7e57a3741198f7f77d1132b1.png

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Jedi mind tricks only work if the subject has a mind to trick.

    • Thiazin Red

      That sounds like something the father should be doing.

      • Jenny

        Always happens when he is just out of earshot.

    • Alan

      I kept mine in the closet until college. Slid pizza under the door.

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      I don’t think thoughts and prayers are gonna cut it here. I’d go straight to the NyQuil.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Sheepshagger

      “That’s why I don’t wear pants. Let the wind blow free”.

      • Rick Hill

        Won’t someone think of the children?!?!?

        • Sheepshagger

          “Fuck the children”

          GOP.

          • Rick Hill

            In more ways than one….

        • Ricky Gay

          Roy Moore?

    • ariel_gee_398

      I begin to understand how he could have thought sending nude photos of himself would be enticing, and why he thought it was a good idea to include his face in the shot.

    • Thiazin Red

      I seriously don’t care if he was sexting while he was separated, but that statement is something he should resign for.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Wow. He really is stupider than a mud fence.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      It must take a certain amount of thought to come up with something that stupid.

    • TJ Barke

      If you wanna get super technical, he’s right, but it would take a truly, mind bendingly colossal degree of exploitation to get to that point.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Well, and making that argument, one assumes, in support of extracting more fossil fuels instead is a wee bit disingenuous.

        • TJ Barke

          Oh yeah, their arguments are always in bad faith.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Much like their marriage vows.

          • Ricky Gay

            And their religion.

          • Lord Jim

            Because truth is irrelevant when your Randian paymasters want their liberty to profit from fucking the earth over. Same as it ever was.

          • TJ Barke

            The earth and all her creatures and peoples.

    • wait! what?
    • Alan

      Ummm…. I got nuthin’.

      • SDGeoff3

        I can’t even.

    • CripesAmighty
    • CeeQ

      Weapons grade stupid

  • Michael R

    people likes to ask me , what did you see on your walk ,
    these fluffy things and the sun

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c96bf441523d8323e0dadbc9afdc41f974af8f77aeeee4144cfe602ef03ec015.gif

    • BosGrl

      What is that gold, light-emitting thing in the background?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Not sure. Better get your gun and shoot it to be safe.

      • Raan

        Man, this “outside” room is great! You can’t even see the ceiling the light’s attached to!

        This joke shamelessly stolen from Fallout 3.

    • aureolaborealis

      Is that devil’s claw with mesquite in the background? Are you in Tucson?

  • Rick Hill

    Freedom! Liberty! Leave me alone….
    Hey! What are you doing…get your hands off…I was just….police state! Help!!!!!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ngwJ4lu9R8

  • Duke

    That looks yummy.

    My favorite Thanksgiving leftover is Turkey Enchiladas. That spicy sauce will cover the 1-day- and 2-day-old turkey taste splendidly.

  • Thiazin Red

    Pacific Northwest Ballet keep sending me multiple emails a day trying to get me to see Nutcracker. I don’t want to see your shitty new Nutcracker PNB. Bring back the good one and we’ll talk.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Saw the Mariinsky Orchestra (which premiered it in 1892) play the closing scene as an encore this month.

    • Rick Hill
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      In my neck of the woods, Christmas Carol at Trinity Repertory Theater is an award-winning annual tradition. Every year the play is done differently in one way or another, and there’s unexpected live interactions with the audience. We don’t get out much, can’t really afford luxuries, and my mother hates city driving, so I’ve only been to see it once. We did, however, get to see the Boston Pops come there last year in what turned out to be Mayor Buddy’s final public appearance. Sad, because he had hoped the “Buddy reading” of Night Before Christmas would become another local holiday tradition.

      • SDGeoff3

        You’re from The Ocean State. Me too. I remember when Trinity Rep started!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Off to run a few more errands (thank God they don’t involve the grocery store at least) on this note–be careful out there, Wonkers!

    https://twitter.com/KTLAMorningNews/status/933448774072111104

    • BosGrl

      That’s not gonna smell good tomorrow.

      • SDGeoff3

        Btw, we are having a heat wave in SoCal in the 90’s right now. We are watching the smoke from a big fire in Mexico from our deck, too.

        • BosGrl

          I’ll send you some cold rain to cool you off and tamp down the smoke.

      • Paul

        Or the day after or……

    • Thiazin Red

      That is going to smell so bad tomorrow.

      • BosGrl

        JINX!

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      In totally unrelated news, have you tried eating your Grape Nuts dry?

      • Michael R

        This is a family site

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          The Aristocrats!

      • Suttree

        Are you my father? In his mind yogurt added was luxury!

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Actually, I’m an oatmeal guy on weekdays. But try getting double entendre out of “oatmeal”.

        • SDGeoff3

          Mine thought it was a communist plot.

          • Suttree

            hahaha! Totally laugh out loud! Did he fight in the war room?

      • Raan

        Not Grape Nuts, but I ate Rice Krispies dry last night.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      No use crying over it.

    • jesterpunk

      Someone send a cookie truck stat.

    • FlownΩver

      “And there’s hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.”

    • Cock Blockula

      That’s THE 5 Freeway, buddy!

      You can tell the headline was written by anything but a So. Californian.

  • Suttree

    Hey y’all. Are we open threading here?

  • Viktor

    This looks tasty. Your food posts are angering my belly, he’s mad I feed him junk. Anyone try squash pie? I’m scared to try a pie made of squash. Pumpkin, that’s fine

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Your pumpkin pie is probably made of butternut squash.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      But pumpkin is squash!!1!1

    • Thiazin Red

      Sweet potatoes also work really well in pie.

      • Suttree

        I love sweet taters! A friend of mine’s father has a “specialty” sweet potato company. Each one arrives wrapped in paper on a bed of straw. No shit! Hand picked. I have no idea what he charges. I was screwing his daughter.

        • FlownΩver

          Just a bit TMI, if you ask me.

          • Suttree

            You’re in the wrong place. :)

    • SDGeoff3

      It’s good. Like the squash you like, but sweeter and with some fragrant spices. And crust.

    • cmd resistor

      I hear it is similar ti oumpkin maybe a bit milder.

  • bubbuhh

    If you wish to lose weight over Thanksgiving, you can search for the nude pics of Rep. Joe Barton which are apparently somewhere out there on the intertubez.

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/11/22/rep-joe-barton-apologizes-constituents-after-nude-photo-him-appears-online/889827001/
    Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been Gohmert.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Nope. I have 30 lbs to lose, and still: Nope.

      • Suttree

        Me too also. I have gained 30 lbs since being out of work. All directly in my stomach!

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          I let work get in the way of exercise (but that only accounts for the last 10 or so). Now that we launched the product and I can ease up a bit, it’s time to get back on the program.

          • Suttree

            I’ve started doing crunches randomly throughout the day, now that my back is feeling better. Unfortunately it makes my tummy roll all around! Haha! It will get better!

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            IK,R? It’s like the gut doesn’t WANT to get smaller – it goes on defense!

          • Suttree

            The muscle build up just pushes the fat out farther!

    • Sheepshagger

      Doesn’t Gohmert have his singlet sewn to his undies? That’s what I heard anyways.

    • SDGeoff3

      I had a nice surprise at a medical appointment yesterday. Since I started my dedicated walking and watching my diet two weeks ago, I dropped four pounds, and it looks like it’s coming off my waist!

      • Resistor Radio

        I think I’ve gained twice that much and all in my belly. This week.

  • Rick Hill
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Your move, Canada.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Hello from Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin! This is rather a nice place.

    • Suttree

      Hi! You lucky fucker!

    • wait! what?

      Pic of sausage vendor required w/that declaration.

    • OutOfOrbit

      You are sideways!

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Curry Wurst! Stat!

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Had some from Konnopke’s today!

    • SDGeoff3

      The weather must be chilly and nice.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Drizzly, but it’s still amazing

        • SDGeoff3

          It’s always beautiful there.

    • eka

      spent a lot of time there when i lived in berlin. i could probably still direct you to the shop that used to sell shrooms in chocolate.

    • Resistor Radio

      Hey hey traveler!

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Berlin is quite nice. Apart from all the Germans. Don’t get me wrong, they’re better than the Swiss, but not by much.

    • aureolaborealis

      I wandered your (general) neighborhood on a bicycle a number of years ago.

  • Suttree

    So I just pulled stuffing out of the oven. 1 lb of meat to 1 crusty french baguette. Celery onion and garlic. I almost left it too long. It is definitely brown on top!

    • Rick Hill

      It;’s so brown, trump is sending ICE over right this minute

      Yuck yuck

      • Suttree

        *snickers*

    • Alan

      Wait. The stuffing goes in the meat.

      • SDGeoff3

        She is making “dressing”. I just know it. Or pudding.

        • Raan

          I was way too old before I learned the difference.

          It was like three years ago.

          • SDGeoff3

            It’s never too late to go to The Light.

        • Suttree

          You got it right with dressing. Pudding involves sweetness and rum.

          • C4TWOMAN

            And boiling.
            No seriously….
            OH FUCKITY FUCK.
            Just remembered I’m about to miss stirring up day!

            Crap I did this last year and had to have the pudding for New Years.
            *runs off to check online calenders*
            Also too yay for rum.

          • Suttree

            My hope for you getting it right!

          • C4TWOMAN

            Thanks! I’m actually okay… for 2017 its THIS coming Sunday. Guess I know what I’ll be doing…
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stir-up_Sunday

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        No stuffing without fisting. That’s my motto.

        • Suttree

          I think this might be a turnoff.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            Jam it in the rear ’till the ribs detach. It’s the only way.

      • Suttree

        Noooooo! This is dressing. Check your locational dialect. Vernacular even. Hehe!

      • cmd resistor

        Why not both? Unless you have a huge turkey there isn’t enough room to fit enough inside. I have stuffed a bird with mixed black beans and rice. Flavors the turkey nicely but in my middle age i simplified. Plus we are just 3 these days.

        • Alan

          Dunno. I’m a vegetarian.

        • SDGeoff3

          And the bird is ready sooner than later.

      • Suttree

        You monster! Wait whut?

  • C4TWOMAN

    You monster! Stuffing is a sacred mix of breadcrumbs, egg, drippings, sage, onions, celery, salt, pepper,oregano, thyme, mustard, nutmeg, clove, apple and fried and chopped giblets, to be eaten with mash and cranberries! Not smothered in cheese!
    *shudders*

    Burn the Witch!

    • SDGeoff3

      You are a true stuffing purist. I love you.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’ll bend teh rules for a post holiday turkey sandwich…basicly turkey, stuffing, gravy and cranberries, hot or cold. But that’s IT.

        • SDGeoff3

          Perfect.

    • BosGrl

      I read that as “egg drippings” and a big Comic Sans question mark formed over my head.

      • C4TWOMAN

        This happens alot in the noncomments. The other day I thought someone was talking about news on the Interlubes….

    • wait! what?

      It’s not stuffing. It’s Franken-stuffing; I’d top miine with gummy bears and fluff.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Mind, I don’t object to the bit about having it for breakfast.

        • SDGeoff3

          It makes a nice hash, if you crumble it up, add another egg, mix and fry it. Add your best preserves on top.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Heresy! Stuffing is pork sausage, bread crumbs, chopped walnuts, diced onion, bacon, parsley, rosemary, sage, and thyme.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Oh yeh, I put rosemary and parsley in too. These old recipes(by which I mean anything after the reign of Henry the II up to the 1800’s) have ridiculously long spice and herb lists, probably to give a cook permission to use a mix of any of this things(” eny off thes thinges”).
        Sausage and bacon sounds yummy. Probably won’t adopt that, but wouldn’t object if I was a guest.
        I’ll be coming over tomorrow about noon, btw.

        • Bemused Tralfamadorian

          Australian here. We don’t celebrate your heretical thanksgiving pagan/puritan holiday thing. You can’t have any of my stuffing until christmas. Also, crushed juniper berries and lemon juice/zest also make excellent additions.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Actually I don’t personally make a biggie out of American thanksgiving either.
            I am an actual neo-pagan, and Samhain(Halloween/All Saints) and Yule(Winter Solstice) are my winter faves, with Bonfire Night and TwelthNight. So I’m in the same boat, unless someone invites me or brings a plate, I’m not putting out that effort until the Christmas Season proper.

            But I do love to geek out about the food.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            Playing with food is fun. Theorising about how one might play with it, even more so.

          • SDGeoff3

            Yes.

      • tehbaddr

        Walnuts? What if somebody has a nut allergy? YOU MONSTER!!!11!1!111!!!!1111!!!!

        • Bemused Tralfamadorian

          Natural selection is a harsh mistress. Also, I carry an epi-pen because wasps are flying cobras as far as my immune system’s concerned.

    • tehbaddr

      Agreed cheese is not included in stuffing, and shouldn’t be smothered in it after the fact!

    • armed_bears
  • BosGrl

    Thank you, guys, for keeping me cheerful today. Mom called earlier and asked me about a box I left behind at the house. She kept asking about it, even when I told her it was a box of Katie’s baby things that she had hand-picked to keep for when she had her own children. Mom has dementia and she kept asking and asking, even after I burst into tears and begged her to stop. But you guys. I’ve laughed out loud all day. I love you all.

    • Edith Prickly

      *Hugs*

    • OutOfOrbit

      To stay grounded, I have put a lid on sentimentality

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        BG’s wounds might be a little too fresh just yet.

        • BosGrl

          TY

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            It’s how we do.

        • OutOfOrbit

          She must let go.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      The crew is kinda “on” today, aren’t they?
      Good job all!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Aww ~Hugs~

    • Holly

      You know I’m with you in spirit and I wish you joy in the memories. I send love and light and hugs…lots of hugs. Let me know how you’re doing, OK?

      • BosGrl

        You too, my friend. We push on. But always the hugs.

        • Holly

          Know that I am thinking of you and Katie and hold you both close to my heart.

          • BosGrl

            Same here. <3

    • Shanzgood

      I’m sorry, BosGrl.

      • BosGrl

        xo

    • Smoke O’Hontas

      *hugs*
      *moar hugs*

    • Sophia

      Dementia is hard. Hugs for you.

    • Lord Jim

      I’m really happy that you’ve found a refuge and a solace here.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I am so sorry. :(

    • SDGeoff3

      My mom’s in the same spot. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs to you. Try to get her laughing. It breaks the mental mesmerism somehow.

      • BosGrl

        I’m so sorry. It’s terrible.

        Fortunately, she does like to laugh. I’ll be sure to do that tomorrow, thanks.

        • SDGeoff3

          Laugh whenever you can. No excuses needed.

  • Ricky Gay
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I can’t wait for the Holiday reunion special.

  • Holly

    Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to tell you what I’m thankful for, and not because Sarah the Hustling Huckster told me I had to…I’m thankful that I found all ya’ll and how we’re all such fucking special snowflakes. Guys I love and adore you. Eat, drink and make merry because we really deserve a break from the terrible awful that’s been this year. Cheers!

    • Ricky Gay

      Woot!

    • BosGrl

      Love you, Holly. We do have a very special community here. We are truly fortunate.

    • Lord Jim

      Happy Turkey day! These folks are pretty broadminded. They still let ME hang around! :)

    • SDGeoff3

      You’re why we come here too.

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    Well here you go. Here’s another quick and easy weight loss solution for Thanksgiving

    Charlie Rose accuser says news anchor forced her to watch an X-rated film and then asked her if she felt aroused

    Good time Charlie sings the blues. Or, he’s working blue. Or, his balls were blue.

    Or, AOT,K.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian
      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Deja view all over again.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Christ, this is so depressing…
      *checks to see in second Runaways episode is finished downloading*

    • BosGrl

      When I was in high school, I dated this guy. One time, he said we were going over to his coach’s house. When we got there, the house was empty and there was a porno in the VCR. The coach set it all up. To get me in the mood, I guess?

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        Systematic. Nasty.

      • SDGeoff3

        Do you know what became of him? Ewww.

        • BosGrl

          I don’t! I don’t even remember who the coach was, or what sport, though I’m thinking hockey. We didn’t date long.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Wow. Collusion.

        Very creepy.

      • armed_bears

        My coach just made us run wind sprints.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Yuck. That’s just wrong on so many levels. That’s systematic abuse. Glad you got out ok but wow, what a creepy memory to have :-O

        • BosGrl

          One of many. :/ I wish I could go back in time and get that coach in trouble.

  • Thiazin Red

    Plans for tonight:

    Buy paper towels
    sleep
    wake up to order food
    maybe listen to some doctor who audios (or maybe some Kate Stewart UNIT, or Torchwood)
    sleep again

    • BosGrl

      That sounds so great.

    • tehbaddr

      Dr Who audios? Never heard such a thing, how does it translate (from the absurd visuals)?

      • Thiazin Red

        The cast records radio drama style programs. In general they’re pretty good. If you want more stories with older Doctors they have those, David tennant has done some, there are whole series based on minor characters. A company called Big Finish does them.

    • Suttree

      Would you sleep for me too? I have accomplished 6 hours in the last 3 days. I’m super manic. I get really weird around the holidays.

  • Rick Hill

    Don’t you hate it when you have an empty dumpster and you https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/447a68cce0941d1a8abf2818e970d92fd2bd430a2e99913418d2413e57bc9a75.jpg go through the shop and clean out the dust collectors and only have half a dumpster left and you still have your scrap plie to go through? The one you haven’t cleaned up for the last two months because of reasons?
    This is the scrap pile, I usually refer to it as a working scrap pile because I go back to it for dimensioned stock again and again but this isn’t much in the way of working, at all.

    • Suttree

      That is all good material! I think. Working with steel I save everything over a foot. Well, when working for myself. Working for others, I save everything over 2’6″

      • Rick Hill

        It was difficult, the last project. Making cuts while the offeed was dragging on the waste material

        • Suttree

          I know that job. Weird fucked up leftovers that take a lot of work to turn back into stock.

    • Duke

      Absolutely!

    • OutOfOrbit

      Law of nature for me: discard this scrap today I be cussing tomorrow

    • shivaskeeper

      I see nothing wrong there. Hard to tell scale, but most if it looks usable.

      • Rick Hill

        I have a cradle that I do my crosscuts. My shop fence is an aftermarket purchase, it is is measured cuts to 120″

    • bluicebank

      Scrap??

      I need that stuff. You wouldn’t believe what I can make with that wood. My god, man, I’ll pay the postage. I need to build some shit.

      • Rick Hill

        Most of it’s cutoffs around an inch or less. Some get turned into sticks for the finish room. Some are kindling. The drawer side will be salvaged but the laminate is hard to use…until I get a job that needs it.

        • bluicebank

          OK, then. Don’t want it. Still. I’m in a woodworking mode.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      My back workshop looked sort of like that a few weeks ago. However, I stoically cleared-out that mess and it looks all tidy again. The back workshop doubles as my bedroom and I can’t sleep when it gets too cluttered. When it gets cluttered, the cats like to send pieces of scrap wood, metal, and plastic on ballistic paths to the tile floor in the middle of the night. For some reason, that bugs the shit out of me.

  • IdiotsforPalin
  • Rick Hill

    Here ya go: Usually great for cruising down the highway music but just as acceptable for you desk jockeys and your computational machines while you are making whitty remarks to virtual strangers(See what I did there?)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCAMsqx3q3M

  • 3FingerPete

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9W-_El6GMc

    Preparations are underway to celebrate the holidays at the @WhiteHouse! pic.twitter.com/N5qZ1NP8ez— Melania Trump (@FLOTUS) November 22, 2017

    • bluicebank

      Beelzebub’s dumb brother in the White House. Just fucking great.

      Merry Thanksgiving. In other news, science concludes the obvious:

      “Smart people have better connected brains”
      https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/11/171122103552.htm

      “Differences in intelligence have so far mostly been attributed to
      differences in specific brain regions. However, are smart people’s
      brains also wired differently to those of less intelligent persons? A
      new study supports this assumption. In intelligent persons, certain
      brain regions are more strongly involved in the flow of information
      between brain regions, while other brain regions are less engaged.”

      Fortunately, Republicans don’t read science news, and thus won’t use the wiring problem as an excuse.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        OK Science, now please figure out once and for all if those “intelligent wirings” have a trade-off for emotional instability or other neurological deficits. Are bipolars more “creative” and autistics more “mathy”? Because if so, I’d gladly opt for a rewiring the opposite way. I’d willingly accept Fox-level stupidity in exchange for being mentally normal and socially acceptable.

        • bluicebank

          Not sure how to respond to that trade-off offer. Plus, your syntax is fine, so you can’t be all that bad off (?). Plus, I’ll accept you socially, for all the good that will do ya ;-)

    • SDGeoff3

      Here I am, trying to look busy. These ribbons, these GOD DAMN RIBBONS!!!!!

    • ltmcdies

      Oh please. You lot will jetting to golf course Dec 26

    • ((( Augustus )))

      LOL

      they’re too chickenshit to say, “Christmas,” or what?

  • Shanzgood

    Who would share a toothbrush with their partner?

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Have done.

    • Alan

      I have. Meh.

    • Suttree

      Me. My mouth is generally all over her crotch, so what would sharing a toothbrush change? All the same I always bring my own.

      • Alan

        That didn’t take long.

        • SDGeoff3

          LOL.

        • Suttree

          I’m like this when I’m sober!

      • Rick Hill

        Tongue in her butt=ok
        Share a toothbrush=NFW

        • Suttree

          I disconcur! How much dirtier can my mouth be after licking an asshole? To each their own I guess.

          • Rick Hill

            Sorry, forgot to add this: /s

          • Suttree

            Fuck your /s tag. I’m serious! hehehehehe

          • Shanzgood

            If it’s clean…?

          • Suttree

            Of course! I am not going to lick dingleberries.

          • Rick Hill

            Awww, Man! Buttholes are ok but licking an asshole?!?!? You’re craezy

          • Suttree

            I’m a dirty dirty boy!

      • aureolaborealis

        If it’s electric, you can use in all kinds of ways. OK, maybe just two: One freshens your breath, and the other also affects your breath.

    • OrG

      Is it an emergency?

      • Shanzgood

        Does it matter?

        • OrG

          Yes.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      The toothbrush has a partner?

      • Shanzgood

        Um…

    • Resistor Radio

      Not a big deal, I don’t think. I mean, get your own, but in a pinch…

    • OutOfOrbit

      They are washable

    • h4rr4r

      If I have too.

      Razor all the time when traveling.

      • Shanzgood

        Baconz is ok to share toothbrushes but razors are off limits. FWIW, I’m on the fence about sharing toothbrushes but I’m in agreement about not touching someone else’s razors.

        • h4rr4r

          Once you have been together as long as me and the wife it is not a big deal when traveling.

          When traveling we don’t keep them long.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Not a regular thing!!!!

      • Alan

        No, not razors. She ruins the blades.

        • h4rr4r

          Traveling only, so the blade is going in the trash at the end of the week or weekend.

          • Alan

            I toss it after she uses it once. I think she’s shearing sheep.

          • h4rr4r

            What is she doing?
            Her body hair should be way softer than beard hair. Mine is like wire.

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah but your face isn’t as long as two whole legs.

          • h4rr4r

            I shave from the base of my neck to practically the eye sockets. So still a considerable area.

            Sure the area is less, but the hair is totally different.

          • Shanzgood

            *checks leg hair*

            So. Your wife is a werewolf?

          • h4rr4r

            Not as far as I have noticed.

          • Alan

            My beard is the texture of newborn hair.

          • h4rr4r

            Give it a few years.

          • Alan

            Hahahahaha. I am old.

          • h4rr4r

            My ear hair is like wire and I am young enough that hair on the tips of my ears is a new thing.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            Shave.

          • Alan

            Daily

    • SDGeoff3

      Give it a soak in hydrogen peroxide, rinse, repeat, and share?
      If you have to go get the hydrogen peroxide, you can pick up a toothbrush too.

    • Rick Hill

      When you’ve had your mouth parts in each other’s disgusting regions, does it matter about your toothbrush?

      • Shanzgood

        Basically that’s baconzgood’s reason for laughing at me!

        • Rick Hill

          Yikes!

          • Shanzgood

            Yikes, why? He thinks sharing toothbrushes is fine and I should wash less.

          • Rick Hill

            Yikes because now we nose the dirty things you are doing with that guy

          • Shanzgood

            Hey, you brought it up!

          • Alan

            Does he call you Josephine?

          • Shanzgood

            Wot?

          • Alan

            Napolean and Josephine. Home in three days, don’t wash.

          • Shanzgood

            …oh

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Stand your ground.

          • Shanzgood

            I have issues. He’s very nice in trying to help me get over them.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Different than scraping the bacteria-laden tarter off your teeth that is inefficiently rinsed off of the brush. Here, honey, want to eat my teeth tarter. Ew. Gross.

    • Anna Rompage

      I have, but it’s not my first choice…

    • Sheepshagger
      • Shanzgood

        That’s not…um

    • shivaskeeper

      I have done that, yes. Are you going to make something of it?

      • Shanzgood

        Nooo…I was just asking because baconz is laughing at me!

        • shivaskeeper

          Considering the other places our mouths have been, sharing a toothbrush is positively hygienic.

          • Shanzgood

            I know! I have issues, I guess. Baconz is helping!

          • shivaskeeper

            Very good.

    • tehbaddr

      Always, you’ve shared much more!

    • Thiazin Red

      I have, but he bites them or something and messes up the bristles so I prefer not to.

    • Panika MCD

      I would, but they’d have to be living in the same town as I do and see me a lot to ensure we’re not sharing germs we don’t already have ourselves.

    • armed_bears

      As with many things in life, the rule is: “Is he looking?”

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Fluids and minor illnesses, yes. Toothbrushes, no.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Only in an emergency. Ugh.

    • aureolaborealis

      If it’s electric, you can share it in all kinds of ways. OK, maybe just two: One freshens your breath, and the other also affects your breath.

      • Shanzgood

        Um…ok?

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Total of 15 for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Strategy. Stay out of wife’s way.

    • Alan

      Strategy: stay home while wife goes to visit.

    • Joe Beese

      My God, the guaranteed stress fights every year before guests arrived. I fucking hated Thanksgiving.

      I’ll subsist on Frito-Lay all day before hosting another dinner.

      • Ms.Moon

        I was stressing this past week because cousin’s fiancee was due to drop the baby any second now and honestly I worried she’d go into labor in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. She had the baby on Monday so we’re very happy she had a safe delivery and hopefully be able to come if not we’ll send her a couple meals because we will have so much food.

  • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

    So this has been today:
    Coffee, bathrobe, dogs lap-adjacent, laptop open “working from home” (check my Disqus history and estimate how much work has been done)
    Clothes near noon, because new burger place for lunch
    Back to “work from home”, this time at a table because laptop needed charging, with occasional drive-by dog-kisses.
    A little later, we’ll walk those dogs, maybe let them play with one of their friends. Home just in time for beer:30.
    All the time I’m “working,” I’m reading recipes and making rude comments about things like Grape Nuts.
    Life is good.
    I, too, am thankful for Wonkette and all your comments, may they always be unallowed!

  • tehbaddr

    A Poll of sorts:

    What’s your main for tomorrow, ie what kind of beast?

    I’m going non traditional. Pork loin roast infused with smoke flavors and wrapped in apple wood bacon.

    • shivaskeeper

      Ham. Far and away it is ham.

    • Duke

      Turkey!

      • tehbaddr

        Wise choice, they’re to stupid to come for you!

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Don’t know yet. We’re going out. Plan is to get one of everything.

    • armed_bears

      Like God intended: genetically modified Meleagris gallopavo with too much of everything beside it.

      • tehbaddr

        Hmmm, a traditionalist!

    • Michael R
    • Rick Hill

      Fried fetus, of course

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Upvoted. But you know you ain’t right.

        • Rick Hill

          If I ain’t write, I don’t want to be wrung

      • tehbaddr

        You are a man of discerning taste!

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Mac and cheese.

      We’re saving the tofurkey for Xmas.

      • tehbaddr

        YOU MONSTER!!111!!!!!!111!!!!!!

    • Turkey, but we’ll probably have ham as well. Along with every other side dish known. My family generally prepares enough food to feed a small third-world country.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Jose Garces, is that you?

      • tehbaddr

        So any and all matter of animal. I like the cut of your jib!

    • Panika MCD

      deep fried turkey. my uncle is responsible for this. I’m missing turkey burritos this weekend due to travel.

      • SDGeoff3

        You might find enchiladas blancas at Mexican places in Long Beach.

        • Panika MCD

          turkey burritos are more about family time. drunk family time.

      • tehbaddr

        Did he burn the house down?

        • Panika MCD

          he never has before. and he usually does 2 so we can do turkey burritos the next weekend.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Doing turkey. I make it moist and delicious.

      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        So you claim, but reveal no method.

      • tehbaddr

        Everybody likes it moist and delicious! Wait, Turkey wut?

    • h4rr4r

      A Turkey, the only acceptable answer. Ham is for Christmas or New Years.

      • tehbaddr

        Philistine!

    • TootsStansbury

      Turkey, probably lasagne and way too much other stuff at my 85 yo MIL’s house of abudaza. All I have to do is make the cranberry business.

      • h4rr4r

        Open a can, tada!

        I only have it once a year, but it is essential for left over sandwiches.

      • tehbaddr

        Wise decision to stick with the cranberries, be sure to stay out of her way!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I don’t holiday, but as an homage I will roast a chicken (I usually make soup out of the little fellers).

      • tehbaddr

        I’ve done that, I’ve actually done multiple Cornish hens in different seasonings. Power to ya!

    • SDGeoff3

      A nice restaurant where my beau will have a turkey dinner, and I will enjoy fresh swordfish, two hours after I get off work, yeehaaa! No more holiday dining at home here.

      • tehbaddr

        Although I like your thinking outside the box, I wonder if you’re one of those people who hate ‘Meruka and have an agenda of sorts.

        • SDGeoff3

          Of course I am. Why would anyone have swordfish on Turkey Day?

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Fatburger.

  • Rick Hill

    Welp. I thought that posting my oversized scrap pile would embarrass me enough that I would get up and clean it but, here I am….

    • shivaskeeper

      Meh. It’ll still be there later. It’s all good.

  • Panika MCD

    just came by to see if any LA Wonks want to meet up on Sunday or Monday because I’m going there for my grandmother’s funeral and it was cheaper to stay an extra couple days.

    • bluicebank

      If you’re talking Los Angeles, not Louisiana, then you can take the couch up the road from Palm Springs. Bit of a 2-hr drive, though. And the local deli in Morongo Valley just shut down, so we’re fucked on that score.

      • Panika MCD

        I’ll be at my cousin’s house near Long Beach without a car.

        • Royal Ugly Dude

          I’m near Long Beach, and could easily get there for happy hour Monday after work.

          • Panika MCD

            cool. where?

          • Royal Ugly Dude

            The Federal, 102 Pine St., downtown Long Beach. 5:00?

          • Panika MCD

            sure. I just will have to figure out how to get there from the house, but it should be pretty easy.

          • Royal Ugly Dude

            Here:714-588-2513

          • Panika MCD

            take it down now.

          • Panika MCD

            and how will I get in touch with you?

        • bluicebank

          Been a while since I visited my hometown, but can’t make the trip. Sounds like you already have a pad to stay at.

  • memzilla Ω

    So I am currently binge-watching Danger UXB, which I’m willing to bet less than five people on the planet are doing right now.

    • CripesAmighty

      Wow. Forgot about that one. It was great. One of my mom’s faves, we’d highlight it in PBS listings.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      That was a good show.

  • Sophia

    Man Will Launch Himself in 500-MPH Homemade Rocket to Prove Earth is Flat

    “Hughes promised the flat-Earth community that he would expose the conspiracy with his steam-powered rocket, which will launch from a heavily modified mobile home — though he acknowledged that he still had much to learn about rocket science.”

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/11/22/man-will-launch-himself-in-500-mph-homemade-rocket-to-prove-earth-is-flat/

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Somebody posted about this Idiot on the OT yesterday. So: is he dead yet?

      • Sophia

        I think it said he’s supposed to do it on Saturday. Wants his Thanksgiving turkey before he dies.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Dying for a cause, OK, fine. Dying to fail at defending stupid cause, just embarrassing to humans.

      • Viktor

        Trump just nominated that guy to head NASA

        • Sophia

          ROFL!

    • OutOfOrbit

      I wanna watch!!!

    • bluicebank

      Yeah, screw watching football this Saturday. I want to see this idiot cook off in the Mojave desert in his home-made steam powered rocket.

      Never count California out when it comes to crazy-ass ideas. Only some of them work, the rest are history.

    • h4rr4r

      Up to a stunning 1800′!

      So just high enough to only see 0.5 degrees of curve, which he will be unable to see from a moving shaking rocket. I am sure that is not a coincidence.

      If you really believe this crap, start and airline and make a fortune flying shorter routes.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Like I said yesterday, Idiot could climb a hill taller than that.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Something will be flat, but it won’t be the Earth.

    • Alan

      Has anyone ever explained how the Illuminati benefits from convincing us that the earth is round? Just curious.

    • CripesAmighty

      Uh-huh. Sounds like somebody picked up Evel Knievel’s old ‘Sky Cycle’ at Ernie’s Pull-A-Part.

    • jowgajen

      I dunno that steam powered qualifies as a rocket. Also, there’s a good chance dude has something more akin to a bomb if he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

    • CripesAmighty
    • Ms.Moon

      I took a cruise two years ago we were at sea and you could see the curve of the earth it was pretty cool actually.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Been up since 4:00 am working and running errands. Only just had time to actually dive into the news. I saw LeVar Burton’s name popping up and I thought “Oh no. Not LeVar. Not him. Don’t tell me he’s a creeper.” I love that guy.

    Then I saw that he’s being attacked for the apocalyptically petty Twitter-feud between the so-called POTUS and LeVar Ball, which has now metastasized into a cluster-fuck of American embarrassment and shame.

    So: no more news. Dear Goddess, no more news.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      There there.

      *pat pat*

    • ltmcdies

      Honestly who’da thunk 2 black dudes might have similar names beginning with an L

      Just when yah think the American Trumpster can’t get stupider…. they do

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        I can’t. I just can’t.

    • BosGrl

      Oh FFS.

      • SDGeoff3

        Mmm-hmm. Amazing, innit?

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        IKR?

        My mind is so tired of being boggled.

  • Sheepshagger
    • Panika MCD

      also all that environmental legislation and the SSI COLA.

      • CripesAmighty

        He also proposed the BMI (basic minimum income). Couldn’t get anyone in congress to bite. Complicated guy, ol’ Dick.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          He predicted our Justin becoming the prime minister. ‘Course, it was at that state dinner that Justin performed his first act of diplomacy and Jedi mind trick. Even an angry old crank like him couldn’t resist the charm of the baby snow messiah. Dick had gone up to Ottawa to give Pierre the business for taking in draft resisters. Pat sat in the parlor at Sussex Drive with Maggie and gave Justin a baby Snoopy as a gift.

          Truth be told, Dick did give Pierre an earful initially, but by the time he and Pat got on board AF1 to return home, Dick said, “Why the hell did we come up here anyway? Nothing but a goddamn waste of time.” These aren’t the Americans you’re looking for… You don’t need to see their identification…

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        OSHA also too

    • Rick Hill

      Did you hear that Nixon went to see “Deep Throat” three times before he got it down Pat?

      • Sheepshagger

        Booo!

        • Rick Hill

          What? That’s a classic!

          • TootsStansbury

            Right up there with “What does the Key Bridge have in common with Jimmy Carter? They both go in and ou of Rosslyn!” Har!

      • OutOfOrbit

        icwyd

    • ltmcdies

      Found this on the tweeter. Trying to imagine the guy currently in office writing as thoughtful a note to a widow today
      https://twitter.com/dick_nixon/status/933348049212014592?s=17

      • BosGrl

        This is a good letter. How old is the phrase “thoughts and prayers”?

        • ltmcdies

          At least 50 years but I expect it actually meant something in the days before bimonthly mass shootings

  • Anna Rompage

    Tomorrow will be the first year since I was a teenager, that I didn’t cook the brunt of dinner…

    As many of you know, my sweetie & I got married a couple weeks back, and she declared that tryingto host our normal thanksgiving was just too much on top of getting married, even though I’m the one who cooks everything.

    So tomorrow, we will be heading to her cousins house for dinner. Can’t say that I’m thrilled, they are sober folks, nice people, but rather boring, and not very good hosts.

    To be honest, I’m a little scared of the let down. Being my favorite meal of the year to cook, I have everything down to a science. The turkey always turns out moist & flavorful, and I’ve been in charge of making the gravy, with a little oversight from grandma until she passed, since I was a kid.

    It’s gonna be a trip, and I really need to remember to be outwardly thankful, appreciative, and not like my dad’s husband, that hovers in the kitchen telling the cook how they’re doing it wrong.

    God help me, I’ll likely be the only one there with a cocktail, glass of wine, and beer in hand…

    • Rick Hill

      This, is the way you keep from being let down:
      http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/632/211/aa0.png

    • Panika MCD

      you could use all those skills on a winter holiday-ganza maybe?

      • Anna Rompage

        Totally!

        I recent got a Sous vide wand and was planning on doing a New York strip roast, and crab (if the season opens up) for Christmas!

    • shivaskeeper

      Take it as as day that you don’t have to cook. I also do all the cooking in my house. When we go somewhere where I don’t have to cook, I get my fix by bringing a side or something.

      I stay out of the kitchen unless asked. I have also learned to enjoy the meal even if it’s not the way I would have made it.

      • Anna Rompage

        All good things to keep in mind!

        It’ll be an alright day, and I did buy a med size turkey while they were on sale, and plan on cooking a simplified holiday meal within the next week or two!

        • shivaskeeper

          There you go.

        • SDGeoff3

          There you go. It’s all in the spirit.

        • shivaskeeper

          One more thing. Do not offer suggestions about improving the cooking unless asked as well. They probably know you’re a good, or excellent, cook. It comes off as condescending if you tell them something like, “this would be better if you added XYZ”. Again, unless they ask.

          You can complain to your sweetie after you leave.

    • Michael R
      • SDGeoff3

        Oops.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Hang in there, you’ve got this. I celebrate Thanksgiving with friends over a potluck. Our hosts’ mom cooks the turkey (and it’s always very good) and we bring the sides.

      Either later this weekend or next weekend, I’ll make myself a mini-Thanksgiving dinner with my favorites for my birthday. I’ll do a Cornish Game hen instead of a turkey. Or leftover turkey. It works either way – just depends on how much work I want to put into it.

    • BosGrl

      Read them Wonkette stories out loud to break the tension. Just kidding – don’t get too stressed out if you can manage it. Can you make a turkey at home on Friday, just for fun?

      • Anna Rompage

        Rob might actually enjoy some stories from Wonkette.

        He’s a nice guy, an electrical engineer for a tech company, and pretty progressive, but gets major social anxiety & shuts down if there are more than 3 people in the room…

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I can relate. I feel bad for that poor guy.

        • BosGrl

          Well, keep your phone handy in case there are any awkward silences :D.

    • SDGeoff3

      It’s only a day. If there’s any let down for you, you can always make a surprise meal, or maybe a surprise restaurant visit in an atmosphere you both enjoy, and have a great time. Because, it’s the holidays, don’t cha know.

    • Turkey will be on sale tomorrow, just sayin…

  • Suttree

    Wowzers. I had to come back to the top of the thread. People down there are talking about licking assholes. Not that I am against that……. Anyway, have some Metric. Emily Haines makes my heart melt! FF to 1:25

    • Suttree
    • Anna Rompage

      I believe that’s what they call a rim job, and it feels quite nice, and a lovely thing, as long as you’re clean down there

      • Suttree

        I’m all about licking a clean asshole.

        • Anna Rompage

          Yep, nobody wants to come up with a piece of corn stuck in their teeth! ;)

          • Suttree

            You owe me a new keyboard!

          • h4rr4r

            That is why you use your partner’s toothbrush to clean first.

    • jowgajen

      You do understand that you have now started an asshole licking discussion at the top of the thread, right?

      • Suttree

        Hehhehehehe. Nope.

        • Rick Hill

          Or are you wanting to talk about Emily Haines’ butthole and the licking of it?

    • Shanzgood

      Hey, I didn’t start that!

      • Suttree

        Uh huh! It’s all your fault Shan!

  • 3FingerPete

    Does anyone have “Texas Republican Congressman Joe Barton nude selfie” on their card?

    Do not scroll down!
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    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cefe2fd6ae88f373b4d997775a2ea10da1f10c04c03e080abbd402897bfb184.jpg

  • bbayliss

    Don’t want to be a scold, but maybe you could find 5 minutes over the weekend to do this so we can continue to communicate.
    https://www.battleforthenet.com/

    • h4rr4r

      Good idea!

      I did it, but when they openly support botting, I don’t have much hope.

      • bbayliss

        Were only 22 million down, there are more than 22 million of us.

        • h4rr4r

          I guess I should fire up my own bot.

    • 3FingerPete

      I’ve already written my congressman and senators, Ajit Pai, and one of the FCC commissioners. I’m going to write the rest of the commissioners tonight. I don’t want to brag but I’m a pretty great guy.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    But what if I don’t make stuffing?! Dammit, now I needs me some stuffing and I don’t have any stuffing. Grumbly, grumble, goddammit.

  • Suttree

    Alright. Emily Haines again. This breaks my heart!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXp-6y2bl90

  • Rick Hill

    So…what to do? Mrs Hill just called, said she didn’t have time to get a duck for tomorrow. I tole here I’d go get one. Thing is, the only place that has duck is at the Meijers and that’s about twenty minutes drive each way. Now, I’m the one who mostly wants the duck. Do I just tell here they didn’t have one, go get some game hen at the very close Krogers or invest the time to get a duck?

    • TundraGrifter

      Duck!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Wabbit!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Fuck the duck.
      Go for clucks.

      • tehbaddr

        Chucks?

    • altleftjohn
      • Suttree

        Win

    • Suttree

      Game hen and duck are not even close. But if you are the only one eating it, who cares?

      • Rick Hill

        No, we both eat it. I’m the one who wants some duck though. Guys are always like that, you know

        • Suttree

          Then get some game hen and lie? Make sweet sweet love after.

      • tehbaddr

        Here’s to a solitary holiday!

    • jesterpunk

      Duck Season.

    • shastakoala

      How close is your city park?

      • Rick Hill

        Now you sound like my wife….

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        They make it so easy with the popcorn concession right there by the lake.

    • Anna Rompage

      A block of tofu for tofurkey?

      • h4rr4r

        Boo!

        And I love me some tofu. Especially Mapo Dofu. Mmm, meat with tofu.

      • Rick Hill

        Ok. you’re going to have to go to time out for that…

      • Jonny On Maui

        YOU MONSTER!!!

      • tehbaddr

        Heh!

    • tehbaddr

      I think you need to weigh the circumstance. What have you driven to get in the past, that was more than a 20 min each way pilgrimage?

      • Rick Hill

        It’s more that the store will be packed with….*shudder*…people. Not just that but people who go to the store kind of people. The worst kind.

        • SDGeoff3

          Can you call ahead and have them hold one? Or buy it over the phone?

          • Rick Hill

            Well…if she idn’t getting the duck, she idn’t getting the veggies, the rolls, the elephant trunk….

        • tehbaddr

          Weakling!

    • Duke

      Duck

      • Duke

        Duck.

        • Duke

          Gray duck

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Goose

  • TundraGrifter

    What am I making for dinner? What I always make – Reservations!

    • Raan

      Why do I picture Eugene Levy delivering this line?

      Oh, right. The Wacky World of Miniature Golf.

      • TundraGrifter

        I stole it from an Anne Taintor refrigerator magnet.

    • SDGeoff3

      Same here!

  • Kneeling Bozilingus
  • proudgrampa

    In case you were thinking about roast beef instead of turkey:

    https://www.ksl.com/?sid=46203442&nid=148

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Now THAT is cow tipping

  • Anna Rompage

    Speaking of main courses for tomorrow’s dinner, I present you with the Dirty Gandma and her famous Tofucken recipe…

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gDirubjWFk4

  • Suttree

    Holy fuck I love this song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7U8wz78fIM

  • proudgrampa

    Just heard this one for the first time today. I love it!

    https://youtu.be/nL9tUkN4Otg

  • Lord Jim

    Fascinating reading: Everything the Trump campaign told you about the connections between Trump and Russia was a lie: Bill Moyers The story contains a link to Moyers’ web site, which shows the interactive timeline.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    It’s a beautiful song, it’s a melancholy story, it’s an entire film inside your head:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYUDOEZ6BbU

    • Suttree

      I lover her!

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        She is, indeed, the awesome.

  • Rick Hill

    Doan na click on this if you’re too white:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYCfva8oHr0

  • Suttree

    Help. I’m alive. My heart keeps beating like a hammer.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Hammers do not work that way.

      • Suttree

        You don’t know my hammers.

        • Bemused Tralfamadorian

          Are they the same ones you used to get to ‘Ol’ Blue’s tasty tasty innards?

          • Suttree

            Nah. I use them to shape metal.

    • altleftjohn
    • aureolaborealis

      I tremble. You gonna eat me alive?

      https://youtu.be/ZoK63Bk7pgw

  • Me not sure

    “Sherman, set the wayback machine to 1977…”
    https://youtu.be/Uo_88u0JGSo

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    Some random Australiana for y’all.

    https://youtu.be/1-mLIdLZZeI

  • Joe Beese

    A metaphor for the human condition.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKPz583WRpQ

  • Rick Hill

    Sultry female, wimmin type singstress
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16PDJlxuAWs

  • Lord Jim

    Dafuq is wrong with you, Emory?

    Trump fan: Thanksgiving is ruined because mom ‘exploited by sexist bullies’ doesn’t understand his love for president

    So his mom having to put up with boorish, oppressive men is just the same as his profs not giving enough love to white writers? I. CAN’T. EVEN.

    • Anna Rompage

      Talk about a fragile fucking snowflake…

    • Duke

      Convoluted logic that makes someone the real victim is entirely en vogue!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Another entitled, whiny white male.

      “They started treating white writers the same as nonwhite writers. I’m being oppressed!”

      Fucking babbies…

  • Anna Rompage

    For those looking for a warm, soothing libation during the upcoming holiday season….

    The Velveteen: a wonderful drink for the holidays, and on those cold winter nights.

    Fill mug 2/3 full of hot wassail (apple cider mulled with clove, cinnamon & orange)

    Add 1-1/2 oz of tawny port and 1 oz of brandy.

    Stir briskly and serve…

    • SDGeoff3

      Heated fortified wine? Yeee haa!!!

      • Anna Rompage

        With a hearty slug of brandy!

        • SDGeoff3

          Is there any other way?

      • Alternative Dog

        Glühwein!

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Gesundheit!

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Just kidding. One of our favorite German Yule traditions. One year it was at the Christkindlmarkt in Munich. Just too good for words.

    • Invisible Bunyip

      Wheeeeee………

  • Resistor Radio

    Watching the teevee, it just occurred to me that the SVU writers are gonna fucking crucify Roy Moore. At least there’s that to look forward to.

  • So, personal note. I have been suspended at work for possibly having a sleep disorder, or maybe something physiologically wrong with me. I gotta make a doctor’s appt tomorrow. Fun.

    • TundraGrifter

      Good luck! I hope you are able to secure the correct answer.

    • SDGeoff3

      Good luck. This can’t be fun.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Do they suspend people with colds or employees who need surgery? Jesus.

      • Well, i’m dozing off at my desk, and there have been a couple of times when i haven’t noticed it happening

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          A medical condition is not the same thing as slacking; suspension just seems really harsh.

          • I don’t actually know what it is. If i get a medical note, i can probably get some of it reversed

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I hope so. Didn’t mean to lecture. Sorry this happened…I hope you figure out the problem and it all works out for the best.

          • shivaskeeper

            Until it’s diagnosed, it’s not a medical condition though. That’s why she needs to see the Doc.

        • Might I suggest a name change to Rogue Narcoleptic Dodo? If you can’t laugh, etc, etc…

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well, that sucks. Suspension seems harsh. But you should definately see a doctor.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Sorry to hear that. If you have sleep apnea, you can get a machine that will help you sleep.

      Also, I hope they’re paying you! You’re Canadian, damn it.

      • Nope, this is disciplinary. So, extra hours next week to make up for it, but they will likely be needed

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          You’re in trouble for having a sleep disorder? That seems odd for Canada. In fact, it sounds quite American. I hope you don’t turn out to be one of those fake Canadians that I’ve been warned about. :-)

          • memzilla Ω

            I think this is only a Canadian who needs documentation. Which wouldn’t do a US worker a shitpail of good basis keeping their jerb.

          • I don’t actually know what’s up…i’m kind of concerned that there have been times i have notcied it happening

          • Suttree

            Lizzie used to pass out due to breathing problems. She got a mouth guard to sleep with.

            That she never used.

        • Suttree

          Are you sure about that sweetheart? Please just go get checked out. I really need a safe house in Canadia!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Disciplinary? For a possible health problem? Go see that doctor!

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Oh no.

      Wishing you well, you awesomely clever bird.

    • Resistor Radio

      Oh no! Hope you can get to the bottom of what ails ya!

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Not cool. At least they didn’t notice you’re an extinct species.

    • Anna Rompage

      That’s a bummer…

      Hopefully all of this blows over without any big fuss

    • Suttree

      Oh no Pick!

      I am so sorry!
      Lizzie had a sleep apnea. And she didn’t give any fucks about it. Please get yourself checked out! Having weight on yourself will cause that stuff. You are beautiful! Just check that out.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      I apparently forgot I brought the paper in today, and went out and looked for it then started reading the email version. Then found it sitting on my counter a couple hours later, taken out of the bag but otherwise unsorted. I am actually kind of fairly disturbed by this.

    • shivaskeeper

      Better to know and get it fixed than to wonder.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      I don’t want to freak you out, but Mrs Dont suddenly needed to nap in the afternoons. She finally saw a doc after – this is the stupid part – she felt chest pains going up some stairs.
      It turned out to be pneumonia. So we got her more rest, and I think some drugs (steroids, maybe?), and she’s back to normal. No more afternoon naps.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy
    • REAL Barry

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        In the costume with the hood down just rings by bell.

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Also every other configuration of the Barry, also too. And all configurations of the Wally.

  • Sheepshagger
    • memzilla Ω

      Be careful, Roy Moore still has his passport.

      • Sheepshagger

        If Roy Moore ever came to huntly there’s gonna be nothing left but hair and teeth.

    • Wonky McUbtrye

      Fierce warriors! Fierce, adorable warriors.

  • Timothy Watson
  • Resistor Radio

    Hey, has Anna Elizabeth been around lately? I haven’t seen here in here for a few days, at least.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Came and went last night, and told people here not to contact her ever again.

      • Resistor Radio

        Oh no, yikes, dunno what happened but hope she’s okay.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Oh dear. What happened?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I wasn’t exactly sure, but she sounded pretty done with everyone. She said anybody who knows her from Wonkette should never contact her again.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, that doesn’t sound good. I hope she’s okay.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I do too.

      • Alan

        Oh for chrissake, what now?

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          It always seems to be her avatar triggering snowflakes, I wonder what is up with that.

          • Resistor Radio

            How do you mean? That they’ve been piling on her?

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            No, just when something happens it’s usually someone saying something stupid based on her av. Actually this time is was her screenname, “War Paint” was supposedly “cultural appropriation”. Anyway, it’s usually that and not a response to anything she says or whatnot.

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh Christ. Seriously, people were pissy about “war paint?” Sigh.

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            Not people. One guy. And he just couldn’t turn off the shit.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I wasn’t quite sure what was going on, so I just stayed out of it.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Random asshole was asshole.

      • Resistor Radio

        Oh, that sucks. Emotions are running high right now. I hope she’s okay.

    • Lord Jim

      I’m in touch. She’s reporting OK with a slight cold.

      • Resistor Radio

        Oh good, I’m glad she’s doing alright. It’s a rough fucking week and PTSD is a motherfucking asshole.

      • BosGrl

        If you talk to her, will you tell her I’m thinking of her and send her my love?

        • Lord Jim

          Done.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    We think we’ve got it rough with Trump as president, but I just watched a North Korean defector crash a barrier, and take 5 bullets, to get OUT of North Korea. He’s in a hospital recovering from the bullets, and multiple parasites. Americans should be celebrating that people want to get IN to our country.

    • Wanted*

    • Anna Rompage

      For the time being at least. I suspect Trump’s Wall is actually to keep Americans in, after the GOP has implemented their whole agenda

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Good point! I’ve been thinking if he gets re-elected (SOB!!!!), I may have no choice but to leave. I think they’re already going to cause another economic collapse, and this time there might be an actual armed uprising.

        • Resistor Radio

          Oh if he gets re-elected, I’m OUT. It’s one thing to have a hostile power install a puppet, it’s another thing entirely if our countrymen and the GOP back him in 2020, with eyes wide open.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Well, he wanted to get into South Korea, technically.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I suspect the parasites might have been a big motivator. Lack of food makes people do weird shit (like bring out the guillotines).

        Apparently he loves American TV, and especially detective shows like Law and Order, SUV.

  • Timothy Watson
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’m generally a pretty easygoing guy, but this past year….fuck. One of the ways I try to mitigate the anger and helplessness I often feel these days is through small acts of social courtesy in public…pausing to let someone make that right turn into traffic, helping an elderly lady load a heavy bag of dog food into her car, offering some experienced workman’s advice to a baffled homeowner at the hardware store. The other day, I thanked the perpetually cheerful clerk at the TweakerMart near my shop for being so…well, perpetually cheerful. You’d a thought I’d handed her a hundred bucks, she was so grateful. Whenever I’m in line at Costco, I always offer to let others go ahead of me if they don’t have much stuff. Though they often decline, they are always appreciative of the offer, which usually leads to an exchange of pleasantries and-I hope-some small sense of shared humanity. This doesn’t change anything, doesn’t help us end our long national nightmare that is Trump…it’s just a little corner of sanity for me. At best, maybe it makes someone else’s day marginally better, and helps me to restore some degree of faith in my fellow bipeds. I dunno. You gotta latch on to this shit wherever you find it.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      <3

    • Resistor Radio

      Thank you for being nice in public, it does matter, I think.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Better than punk in drublic, I suppose.

        • Resistor Radio

          Why not both?

          • WilbyToad

            An angry drunk you call the cops. A polite one you’re kinda stuck with.

    • Rick Hill

      You aren’t going to earn your Soros bucks by being nice….

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Bastard never pays up anyway.

    • Anna Rompage

      that’s awesome!

      I was at a sandwich shop a couple weeks back. The person in front of me was fussing with & talking on their phone, not placing their order, and blowing off the counter person.

      I wasn’t in a big rush and kind of found it amusing that someone would be so self absorbed to not put their phone away, or at least take a step out of one and deal with whatever was “so important”

      The counter person thank led me for my patience and asked if I had kids, because I was so patient.

      I said no, and she was amazed, as I guess it’s common for people to be all grumpy with her if the line moves slow…

      It’s good to be kind to the folks around you, and especially the folks that serve you.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yeah, little incidents like that, when combined over the course of a day or week, can be so fucking degrading. I feel a need to resist the paradigm in small ways.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Bless you. It’s astonishing how solipcistic people can be in public. Seeing people doing nice things contributes greatly to the public good.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            We can hope. I know it makes me feel good when witness examples of it. Trump and cell phones empower a lot of shitty behavior.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’ve worked in retail grocery for 17 years. Before that, restaurants. Trust me, some people have always been shitty. Granted this past year, they’ve been a bit more obvious about it.

            Still, small acts of kindness and common decency are powerful. Good for you.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yeah, working by myself in my shop and living alone kind of insulates me from some of that…although I see it when I’m out playing gigs. I don’t think I have the emotional architecture to work retail, my love of cheese notwithstanding.

          • Resistor Radio

            Pssst: retail doesn’t actually pay you in cheese, don’t let anyone fool you.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I know. WITP sells cheese for a living….a job I might actually like if it didn’t involve customers.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Tbh, this is the easiest retail gig I’ve ever had. The vast majority of our customers are curious, and (after a few samples of my favorites), happy. Best part of the job, really. Although we do get a few jerks, the proportion is well below what working in a check stand is.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I would be putty in your hands for a few free samples.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Should you ever be in Portland, I will make you very happy.

            ETA-with cheese. Didn’t mean to get mildly creepy.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’ll bring beer.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Of course. There’s a couple of very nice PNW cheddars that work well with beer. And a couple of blues as well. Obviously I’m a wine girl, but there are some cheeses that pair well with both, depending on what beer or wine we’re talking about, of course. I’m thinking a dark ale and a tawny port match up nicely with Beecher’s Flagship and Stilton.

            Oh fuck, I’m blithering on about work.

          • Invisible Bunyip

            I work in a hand embroidery supply store. Would you like advice on which of the 37 shades of green crewel wool go best with your canvas? :D

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Always. Although I admit I would probably spend much of that time smiling and nodding. And then go with whatever you though would work best.

          • Resistor Radio

            Oh I forgot about that. WITP is our resident cheesemonger! (I just love that word and don’t get to use it nearly enough)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Have I mentioned recently how much I enjoy my job? Although honestly today, I’m pretty damned tired. It’s not physically light.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’ve only been in cheese for about 4 years. Before that I was in customer service and cashiering. To this day, I will never understand why some people think it’s okay to be an asshole to workers who clearly had nothing to do with whatever issues those customers might have.

    • Raan

      Time, I think, for another Vonnegut quote, abbreviated though it be.

      “There’s only one rule that I know of, babies-God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

    • Lord Jim

      Good on you.

      “Inasmuch as you have done it unto the least of these, you have done it unto me.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That Jesus guy, he got some stuff right, didn’t he? I hope his followers notice some day.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Some of them do. Pity it’s not the loudest of them.

    • TundraGrifter

      “This doesn’t change anything…” Yes, it does. Somebody can go home tonight and say “You won’t believe what this guy did in traffic today!” It can be “The SOB cut me off!” Or it can be “I was waiting to get out of that corner gas station – I should know better by now! – and he let me in line!”

      I think there are some lines in an Emerson essay about charity beginning at home and being kind to the postman (OK – it was the 19th Century; come on!).

      Small kindnesses to complete strangers are a win-win!

    • BosGrl

      This is the only way to live, IMHO. This morning, on the elevator, a mom and her little girl were toting a bag of diapers. I was on my way to the dumpster anyway, so I offered to take it. She couldn’t believe it. I was like, whatever, we’re neighbors.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Now THAT is admirable social service.

        • BosGrl

          The cat box gives me the dry heaves but human babies don’t affect me at all.

      • CripesAmighty

        When this idiot git in an Audi was gabbing on the phone thru the light change I resisted the temptation to send that fucker flying with a monster horn blast.

    • Lord Jim

      Met a woman at the grocery store who was going to walk a couple of miles home with a big and heavy ham. Gave her a ride.

      • Resistor Radio

        You’re good folk, Jim

        • Lord Jim

          Ty

          • Resistor Radio

            No, thank YOU

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I see a woman walk by my shop now and again with her groceries . She’s afflicted with dwarfism, and is really overweight. She uses a walker, but ambulation is very difficult for her. I’ve offered her a ride a few times…whether from distrust or fierce pride, she always declines. A fucking tough row to hoe.

      • (((Aron)))

        Didja get any ham?

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good.

      I have been doing things like this for years and years. It does usually brighten someone’s day. Just the act of being acknowledged as a person who is worth a strangers time, no matter how small an amount, is a good thing.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I actually volunteer for an organization that promotes and encourages exactly this kind of thing as being socially transformative. It was started by a woman who’s young son died tragically and unexpectedly. She vowed to turn her loss into something positive.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Can you come shop at my Costco Saturday morning? I’m going to need to run in for some organic baby spinach and frozen strawberries.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Sure. I’ll just wait in line all day, letting others in front of me. Maybe you can buy me a slice of pizza or something.

  • Michael R

    If I go through all the trouble of making a GIF , someone has to look at it

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f7ec7da2d52dc4fafaf336c763926c5b604882bbea671c4f5fcaf19b020d96f9.gif

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      She is awesome.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      I say, I do find that most curious, indeed.

    • BosGrl

      I’ve got 4 shows saved up on my DVR to binge tonight.

    • TootsStansbury

      I love it. My little sister was innocently watching the TV when we were youngs and i wandered into the room muttering “Do you need these scissors?”, I had been napping.

  • Rick Hill

    So…quick doggie workings question: Jack Hill dawg has been awfully thirsty since we got back. Like about double what he usually drinks. No other symptomatics, he was a bit hungrier than usual, at first but I think that’s because the folks who watched him fed him too much. He’s back to normal now that I’ve starv….put him back on measured rations. Not certain that it would be related to winter and the heated air being dryer but that may be the case. Anyone want to give me reason to panicks?

    • TundraGrifter

      How long have you been back (that is, how long since you have again been taking care of him)? Do you know that those folks fed him while you were gone? Is he peeing commensurate with the water he’s drinking?

      • Rick Hill

        Since the 6th. He’s definitely going to pee. He’s funny though. He doesn’t’ usually go around marking things, he just stands there for a couple of minutes, like he’s at a urinal letting go.

        • BosGrl

          Rick, when he pees, does it smell like pee or is it more like water?

          • Rick Hill

            I…haven’t actually checked, that…..

          • BosGrl

            You need to check that. If it doesn’t smell like anything, it might be his kidneys.

        • TundraGrifter

          That was two weeks ago. When our puppies come back from doggie day care they are thirsty as heck but just that one evening.

          Sounds to me like a trip to the vet would be a good thing right through here.

    • aureolaborealis

      I seem to recall my pupper getting that way with kidney disease, but I may misremember.

      • BosGrl

        My cat, too.

    • TootsStansbury

      No panic, but take goggie to the vet to rule out any worries.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You got him back? Yay! I asked a few times, but you never answered, so I figured he’d disappeared. I’m glad he got back to you. I once lost my dog for a week, but I never gave up on seeing him again. The kids who found him were heartbroken when I took him back. He was so loveable.

      • Rick Hill

        Sorry, V & P. I wasn’t ignoring you. A lot of times I get the email notification that I have a reply and I just delete it because I usually see when someone replies. Anyhoo, I mentioned in the whole saga that he was home. I told the entire thing after he was back. I didn’t want to go through the whole thing and in the end it had a bad end so I kept it to myself until he was back. He was injured from the jump and he is doing much better now.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Well, I’m so happy you got him back, even if he was injured. At least he found some kind people who helped him when he was down and out. I hate seeing lost dogs.

  • TundraGrifter

    “(Reuters) – The communications director for U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore has resigned amid the Alabama Republican’s efforts to combat allegations of sexual misconduct that have roiled his campaign.”

    Purser there! Get those deck chairs moved from the starboard to the port side! Lively now!

  • WilbyToad

    King Crimson ~ Sleepless (Dance Mix)

    https://youtu.be/88mTffVGAT4

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      My favorite KC song. Never heard this mix before, though.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Interesting to find KC downthread, as I almost made a comment about Lark’s Tongues in Aspic up above in the Jello molds department.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          35k over my head.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    My Turkey Fest Eve ritual (happens every year):
    1) drive 6 blocks to supermarket to buy beer that I forgot to buy yesterday
    2) stand in checkout line for 20 minutes, watching 10 people buy enormous frozen turkeys that I don’t think are going to thaw out by tomorrow morning (do they know this? Have they never done this before?) plus lots of beer (someone was buying a Belgian beer called “Fat Tire Beer” – now there’s a clever name, much better than “Flat Tire Beer”)
    3) drive 6 blocks home, narrowly missing instant death from pickup truck driving 70mph in a 35 mph zone which changes lanes and turns left without signalling either event.
    4) Get home, caress cat which is overjoyed that I have returned from my lengthy absence, open 1 beer, set it on computer desk, sit down to read Wonkette, light cigarette
    5) Cat jumps on computer desk, swishes tail and knocks beer over.

    • Duke

      Put the frozen turkey into a bath of water. A tub works.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My mother bought it a week ahead of time and started thawing it 2 days ahead of time and it was just ready by Thursday morning.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Please, let’s not hygeine shame the turkey!

      • shivaskeeper

        Do not drop the frozen turkey into an empty fiberglass bathtub. It can, and will, punch a significant hole in said tub.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          You remind me of an article I read about 15 years ago that said if you really want to enact revenge on an ex, freeze a watermelon and throw it at the windshield of their car in the middle of the night. Apparently a frozen watermelon can do a lot of damage, which is a fact I did not know. I would assume a frozen turkey could do just as much damage.

          • shivaskeeper

            Why waste a delicious watermelon when a cinder block is just as effective?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            According to the article, after the watermelon thaws there is less evidence of malicious intent. I can see several flaws in this argument, but it was certainly a creative idea.

          • shivaskeeper

            I guess. Since you have seen the flaws in the argument, explaining how you accidentally got a watermelon through your windshield in the middle of the night, without malicious intent being involved, would be interesting.

            I would go for the cinder block. I would want the malicious intent to be unmistakable for anything else.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Bummer, dude.

          • shivaskeeper

            It was fixable. All is good. It was also years ago.

    • Panika MCD

      Fat Tire is a New Belgiam Brewing Co. beer. it’s a Belgian recipe, but it’s made in Ft. Collins, CO.

      your cat is telling you to smoke outside.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        If so, then the cat is going back to the Humane Society where I got it 7 years ago. Actually, the cat adores me and when I come home she always acts like I’ve just returned from a 2-year expedition to the Arctic Circle where she was sure a polar bear would get me, even if all I did was go to the mailbox. I think she has ADHD. The other cat is Autistic. They make life interesting.

        • Panika MCD

          I smoke outside for the health and safety of Calliope Jane and Cary Cary (and JJP until she finds her furever home…but she’s at her holiday sitter right now).

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            What about YOUR health and safety, madam?

          • Panika MCD

            I need to see a quitting counselor. but as long as I am a smoker, I should not subject my pets to the smoke.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’ve been smoking for 40 years, and it hasn’t hurt a single cat yet, they all but one lived past 17 years, which is a good lifespan for a cat. The one exception died at age 3, but I had it autopsied and it had an enlarged heart, which explains why it got very fat before it was 1 year old (now I know the signs, getting that fat before age 1 is a bad sign).

          • Panika MCD

            my last dog made it to 18 and my cats usually go to 20, but you do you. 17 is a respectable lifetime for a cat.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I had a friend whose cat lived to be 22, but I must be honest here…the last 3 years of its life it barely moved, and when it did it moved very slowly. The last 2 years it couldn’t manage to jump up onto my friend’s lap, or onto the bed, so he build special cat stairs.

          • TundraGrifter

            Someone I know well recently quit after a single visit to a hypnotist. Many years ago a good friend got off Afrin the same way.

          • Panika MCD

            I’m going to see a quitting counselor before I go for woo. if the quitting counselor thinks hypnotism is a good idea, I’ll try it. but the whole point is to find out what hasn’t worked before and why and what may work.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I actually did quit for 2 years, 25 years ago, before I fell in love with a guy who smoked and started again. I had no problem at all quitting. I had read an article that advised the smoker to study when are the “pressure points” in their daily routine where they feel obligated to smoke, often without noticing they are doing so, and to allow 30 days to break the habit (apparently it takes 30 days to break ANY ingrained habit, according to the experts). For example, while talking on the phone, while driving a car, after eating a meal. They suggested replacing cigarettes during those pressure points with an alternative that appeals to you. In my case it was Mini Melty Mints. I kept a small bowl of them on the table by the phone, and a bag in the car, and I limited myself to one at a time so I wouldn’t gain weight or get cavities. Worked like a charm. But darnit, then I went and fell in love. He lasted 1 year, but I am still smoking. Frankly, I love smoking, it’s almost my favorite thing.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s why a quitting counselor is helpful. they can recommend when replacement is helpful and when a nicotine replacement may help. they’ll talk to you about your smoking rituals and how to adjust those rituals without smoking. they’re all former smokers with special training.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I have a feeling that would work for many people, but it depends on why the person smokes in the first place. I smoke because it is the only way I can survive on this planet and interact with morons and idiots every day. Hypnotism is not going to going to make the morons and idiots go away or change my personality.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’ve used different methods, but the best method was just to think to myself “do I really want to pay a large corporation a good bit of money, so that I can kill myself slowly?” That thought made me sick. Other people find hypnosis helps.

          • Panika MCD

            that motivation doesn’t work for me. but we’ll see what the counselor says. Prima Momma was supposedly interested in paying for it, but hasn’t yet. Austin has free quitting counseling, but it doesn’t cover anything you need to buy for it which is what Prima Momma would cover.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            A guy was trying to sell me some bootleg CDs in a gas station a few weeks ago. He was carrying around a little oxygen tank with him, and he said to me “I wish I’d never started smoking.” I said “I know how you feel, because I’m frequently short of breath.”

            There are people who smoke and drink into their 90s, but most don’t make it past their 50s or 60s. My friend who died at 52 of cancer had parents who both lived into their 90s, as had his grandparents.

          • Panika MCD

            well, I definitely wish I’d never started.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Same here.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That is her concern, not yours.

          • CripesAmighty

            OK, everybody, let’s save the healthy living lectures for Festivus.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            My father and my best friend died of lung cancer. I try to get everyone I know to quit smoking. It’s a horrible habit, and you’re paying an evil corporation to kill you slowly. I quit 15 years ago, and I wish I had never smoked at all.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I am very sorry to hear about your friend and your father, that is tragic. I do not worry about this because other chronic infirmities are going to kill me long before my smoking does. My father lived to be 90 even though he smoked every day since he was 14, and drank bourbon every day, and ate a lot of fried foods. However, his last 12 years he had dementia. I’d rather find out I have lung cancer, after which I would end my life fairly quickly with as much dignity as I could arrange for, rather than live for 12 years with dementia. Everyone has their own nightmare, and dementia is mine.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            My uncle and his wife committed suicide (or possibly murder/suicide but not in a bad way) a few months ago, due to her oncoming dementia, and his poor health. Getting old isn’t for sissies.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Gosh, that’s terrible, I’m really sorry to hear that. On the other hand, it could be seen as a rational decision, especially if they had witnessed other people suffer through dementia.

            One of my aunts had a stroke and she lost the ability to understand speech. She could hear us talk, but it sounded like nonsense syllables to her. She also couldn’t understand her own speech and frequently confused words, which interfered with her ability to talk, and she couldn’t watch TV because she didn’t understand the dialogue. Slowly, slowly things got worse with her brain until she had to live in a nursing home. She wasn’t a reader, so she spent all her time playing with one of those hand-held video game gadgets. Her last 5 years were very lonely and she drifted off into a fog. It was a blessing when she died, quite suddenly, from a second stroke. She was a very pious old-school Catholic, so she would never have considered suicide.

            My father’s 12-year illness ate up every single penny that he and my mother had spent 40 years saving for retirement. I would gladly have spent all of it and more to save him from dementia, but I didn’t have that option.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I believe my aunt and uncle made a rational decision. They had called her daughter the day before and asked her to come by the next day. I’ve not heard the exact facts, but I believe they left a note for her to find, so she’d know where to let the police find their bodies. I don’t know if their finances played a part in the decision or not, but I wish they had been able to choose assisted suicide, rather than have to do it themselves.

            I’m sorry about your dad and aunt. It sucks that we are not able to just die with any dignity in this country.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I have married friends in Wisconsin who are in their early 60’s, they’ve lived there for 35 years, and a few months ago they told me they are moving to Portland, Oregon. I got the feeling that there is a secret motivation for this as both of them took early retirement for health reasons, but they didn’t tell me, and I didn’t ask. I hope it is not what I suspect, but if so, then I’m glad they have some dignified choices.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            That’s what I plan on doing if I know the end is near. I’m glad Dr. Kervorkian was willing to go to jail for our right to decide our own fate.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The problem is that the Death With Dignity laws won’t let doctors help you die unless you have a terminal diagnosis and only a short time left to live, and my health issues involve long-term joint deterioration, so I could be looking at 10 years of life in a facility with strangers feeding me and wiping my ass, which I cannot tolerate in any respect whatsoever, not for a single day. Therefore, I am on my own. There are underground organizations that will assist.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            That’s true. I didn’t know about the underground organizations, but I’m glad you know about them.

          • Angela Ruzzo
          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Good information to have, thank you!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I do not smoke outside at my own house for anyone, not even the cats. I get enough of that everywhere else on the planet, which is OK, I respect other people’s rights, but when the day comes that I can’t smoke in my own house, then I’m ready for Death With Dignity. Anyway, the autistic cat lives on top of the master bath linen cupboard, 3 rooms away, so she is oblivious (I bought her a special cat tree now that she is getting older so she can get up there more easily). The ADHD cat lives on my lap, and if I go outside she sits on the windowsill and meowls at high volume because she thinks maybe I am off to the Arctic Circle again. Sigh…the chains of love…

          • BosGrl

            When I go outside on the balcony, my cat tries to climb the sliding glass door and yowls like I’ve left for an Arctic voyage.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Six years ago I actually came THIS CLOSE to spending $5,000 to build a screened-in porch off my family room, so the cats could come outside with me (they are indoor cats). After I had got 2 bids from contractors, I realized that I was doing it for the cats, and I changed my mind.

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            We just upgraded the heater in our garage because that’s where we hang out all winter, just like high school. Except we’re the ones paying the mortgage, and now it’s cats and kid knocking on the door asking what we’re up to instead of parents.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My mother would knock on the bathroom door if we stayed in there more than 10 minutes and ask what we were doing in there. This drove me insane. She kept doing it even when I was in my 30’s and would drive hours to visit my parents (you really have to pee bad after 3 hours in the car). What did she THINK we were doing in there???? I really can’t imagine, it must be a mother thing…

          • Smoke O’Hontas

            She knew. She was onto everything. I know because I’m the mom now.
            Sigh. I’ll be in the garage ;-)

        • proudgrampa

          “May you have an interesting life.”

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Don’t you talk shit about Fat Tire!

      ;-)

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Not talking shit, just never heard of it before. It’s an interesting name, and the vintage red bicycle on the carton was nice – I had one just like that in 1961.

        • Courser_Resistance

          New Belgium Brewing began in Ft. Collins and it was a local brew before it went national. Good stuff! It’s kind of my go-to when I’m lazy and don’t want to have to make a decision.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I am a Corona lover. When I drink it I fantasize that I am on a beach somewhere, listening to the surf and the seagulls, still a size 10 and wearing an itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini, wondering when my tall, dark and handsome lover Philippe will sail up on his yacht…what would life be without our little fantasies?

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            It was my go-to when in CO, but IMO the recipe changed. The grain is less toasty than I remember back in the 90’s.

            Now, on the road anywhere, I always go for “I’ve never heard of that”. I’d be happy if I could try a new beer every day. And living in Oakland, I damn near could if I got out a little more.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Huh, good to know. I tend more to Porters these day. Same here in Denver, though there is a whole category of weirdass beer formulations that frankly kind of offend me. Stuff like pumpkin and watermelon. Ugh. When I drink beer, I want it to taste like… BEER!

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            I love me a good porter in cool weather. No idea what that association is about, but WTF. Hefe-Weizens, too.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            The Ranger ipa is pretty good

    • Raan

      Apparently these people believe that turkeys will defrost faster in their kitchen than at any of point on the face of the Earth.

    • h4rr4r

      You can cook it from frozen.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Rinse and repeat?

  • aureolaborealis

    This seems to be the de facto open thread, so I’ll leave this here, too:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2f940b03fb368a4b65b87d31f4a93d30b0e8739d800d02a3ded8d178252c6f4f.gif

    • Resistor Radio

      YAY!!!! :)

      • Amy

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        fu350d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleLegitimateSpaceJobsFromHomeJobs/get/hourly ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::fu350lhhhhh

    • Alternative Dog

      That’s awesome!

    • OutOfOrbit

      My first smile today.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      =D