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Morning Wonketariat! We’ll be on a slow schedule this week. Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Jared Kushner must have forgotten to turn over MORE Trump-Russia emails, this time dealing with a former Russian central banker wanting to attend an NRA convention in Louisville last May to get some “backdoor” action with Trump.

Congressional Trump-Russia investigators are interested in having a chat with senior congressional aides, including Paul Ryan’s chief of staff, about the weird policy shifts in Ukraine the Trump campaign wanted during the RNC last year.

Lawyers continue to speculate about what Robert Mueller may do with Mike Flynn, so now they’re looking at what he’s done with Paul Manafort.

Robert Mueller and his justice league of extraordinary investigators are asking the Justice Department for a bunch of paperwork from the time Trump “You’re Fired” James Comey. Really makes you wonder what he’s building in there.

On Friday a federal judge heard arguments in a FOIA suit that seeks to confirm if federal investigators are using THE DOSSIER in their Trump-Russia investigations by sourcing Trump’s tweets.

Way back during the Reagan revulsion, Donald Trump went to the USSR; naturally the Soviets beefed up their dossiers.

Trump’s White House aides are settling in for the “long winter” as the Trump-Russia investigations continue to grow and suck up everybody in Trump’s orbit.

Senate Republicans are greasing up the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) with buttery deals to keep the rank and file from bailing out.

A couple of Senate Republicans went to the White House to beg Trump not to kill the individual mandate in the Affordable Care Act and instead to strengthen health insurance markets by adopting the Alexander-Murray plan. LOL good luck!

The EPA is delaying the implementation of the WOTUS rule for two years, an Obama-era policy that would limit pollution in wetlands, and giving only 21 days to comment on the ruling.

Recently passed legislation in the House on H1-B visas is setting off alarm bells in the IT cubicle sweatshops of Not America. The bills would give more Ameros to H1-B holders, and raise federal scrutiny, and the threshold of dependency for businesses using H1-B workers, but it could also kick their spouses out of the country.

Big tech companies are expected to be handsomely rewarded for stashing all their Ameros overseas under the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) as they’ll get a tax break for “repatriating” their money.

Jared Kushner is waiting on his full security clearance, along with a bunch of Trump’s minions who still don’t have their own clearances due to a backlog of people who have no government experience (also, that he probably shouldn’t have a security clearance).

The Pentagon is reporting that there were more than 6,150 non-domestic sexual assaults in the military, with nearly 400 being reported at bases in North Carolina. It’s also worth noting that the Pentagon is estimating that 32 percent of service members actually report their sexual assaults, more than doubled from previous years.

Trump’s White House Council of Economic Advisors is now saying that the cost of opiate abuse in 2015 was over $504 BILLION dollars, six times larger than recent estimates.

As Jeff Sessions took the podium at the Federalist society, he asked the crowd if any Russians were in the room, presumably so he could start forgetting their faces.

Before slithering off to sewers, the Federalist society updated Trump’s cheat sheet on SCOTUS picks.

The ethics investigation into Interior Secretary and grifty POS Ryan Zinke has stalled on account of Zinke’s stonewalling.

The Nebraska Public Service Commission is signaling that oil tycoons will still be able to drink their Canadian tar sands milkshakes via the Keystone XL pipeline

GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE! New Orleans just elected LaToya Cantrell for mayor, making her the first woman to preside over the city.

Florida men in the state house are battling a barrage of sexual harassment charges on both sides of the aisle, surprising nobody who’s ever been to Florida.

Here’s a lovely story of (ALLEGEDLY) drunk politicians in Florida acting exactly like you’d expect, including special guest appearance by “Montezuma’s revenge.”

Talks to form Germany’s coalition government collapsed last night, casting doubts about the future of German Chancellor Angela Merkel (AKA the last leader of the free world).

The US military has been expanding its presence in Somalia to combat al-Shabaab and other militant groups who’ve pledged allegiance to ISIS/ISIL/daesh/whatever. On top of a record number of spec-ops drone strikes, AFRICOM says that most of the people on the ground are JSOC (SEALS, Green Berets, 101st Airborne, etc).

Morgan Marquis-Boire was a star in the good-guy hacker spaces, but Marquis-Boire was also drugging and anally raping women. There’s no jokes here.

In the seventh layer of Internet Hell, trolls concoct bullshit stories and feed them until they can fester and spread organically, just like PizzaGate started with A Idiot on 4Chan and turned into a nutbar waving an assault rifle outside a pizza joint.

In a 3-2 vote, the FCC voted to dramatically scale back the Lifeline program, the federally subsidized Internet and phone service for poor people, fucking over 70 percent of wireless phone Lifeline consumers.

The FCC is about to roll out its plan to kill net neutrality, the idea that all internet traffic should be treated equally.

The big mouth of Morrissey struck again after he began defending pedophiles, Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein. This charming man knows so much about these things.

Now that all the rich and fabulous people of Palm Beach are shunning Mar-A-Lago, Trump’s trash palace is catering to crazy “alt-right” groups to pay the bills.

The obnoxious talking head and father of a sportsballer Lavar Ball waved off Trump’s collection of his kid from Chinese authorities for shoplifting; so of course Trump had to tweet and make it a thing.

Trump’s aides are learning to stop worrying about the Tweeter in Chief and love the Bomb.

Charles Manson, seeing the country already had an inexplicably charismatic cult leader whose bloodthirsty followers stayed with him no matter what, departed this earthly plane.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Chelsea Handler thought about the things Donald Trump is thankful for; Bill Maher blew his load thinking about a world without Trump; SNL wants Obama to come back; Stephen Colbert taught Louie Gohmert how to troll people with charts.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Super smart clown fishies!

Show us how thankful you are by giving us money!

Follow Dominic on Twitter and send him rare puppers!

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  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      They seem grateful.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • FlemmishSpy

      Out and proud.

  • OrG

    Charlie don’t surf.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Do you think he should?

      • Cosmic Owl

        He might not be any good, however.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          His hamburger mom will be so disappointed.

        • Oblios_Cap

          He can only hang nine?

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Pentagon is reporting that there were more than 6,150 non-domestic sexual assaults in the military, with nearly 400 being reported at bases in North Carolina.

    Are they all peeing in the wrong bathrooms or something?

    • grindstone

      Either NC bases are hot beds of assault, or they don’t actively quash the reporting.

      • I’d say they’re hotbeds. I know for a fact that most bases quash the reporting.

        • grindstone

          So all are hotbeds of assault and NC bases just allow more reporting? Is this glass half full or half empty?

    • From Russia with Love

      I spent a couple of weeks at Ft Bragg years ago. I was ready to beat myself up.

  • Dedicated to Roy Moore, champion of just barely legal and sometimes not party of gop

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD8siCNo7b4

    • Me not sure

      Peaches and scream?

  • Nounverb911

    “Morning Wonketariat! We’ll be on a slow schedule this week. “

    Are you heading down to Mar-a-Lago with the donnie?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Merkel is trying to forge a coalition of her own CDU with both the FDP (the pro-business/libertarian party) and the Green Party.

    It’s amazing what’s possible in Europe that would be unthinkable here…

    • From Russia with Love

      Thank Martin Shulz of SPD for fucking things up.

    • little miss high and mighty

      The way that is possible here (BRD) is because Mutti started yelping about leftward stuff back as long ago as DDR days- a Gauk was an Ossie as well.
      Now all the left behinds are AfDs or worse and now the old (Grand Coalition Poss. Soc Dems) won’t play ball so the CDU’s sister party (Bavaria-only CSU) was allowed free reighn to culture the bacteria which became the immigration cap but our (sorta) pals The Greens wouldn’t not bend on their NO so now Mutti Angrla has to ask (SPD Stein (AKA: Folter) Maier to call new elections.
      Mutti’s fall back all along since she secretely sided with Ce`m and Katrin (of the Greenies)
      Better this way than stuck with the immigration cap.
      I could see the top capos insisting that Martin Schultz comp out on the cap agony.

  • Bright Bart
  • Oblios_Cap

    Here’s a lovely story of (ALLEGEDLY) drunk politicians in Florida acting exactly like you’d expect, including special guest appearance by “Montezuma’s revenge.”

    That sounds like fairly normal behavior down here in Flor-i-duh on any given Friday night.

    • BadKitty904

      Honestly. I’m surprised this made the paper.

    • Basically

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Government of the people by the people works in Florida. But why does it have to be these people?

  • Nounverb911
    • little miss high and mighty

      all those hours negotiating and still they pronounce it:
      Ya Mye Kah
      Germans so typical for being typical.
      Least we might get new elections.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Also, Charles Manson died.

    • Nounverb911

      Is Sirhan Sirhan next then?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • Ωbjectifier
    • little miss high and mighty

      sorry we can’t view this log enough to click up- so much pain so fast.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Charles Manson departed this earthly plane.

    Finally! A spot of good news.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    People who refer to themselves in the 3rd person should be shipped off to gitmo till they learn their lesson.

    “Frank still doesn’t get it!”
    “Shut up Frank, that’s another six months.”

    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/932578255810498560

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump’s White House Council of Economic Advisors is now saying that the cost of opiate abuse in 2015 was over $504 BILLION dollars, six times larger than recent estimates.

    “You know, if we could just get a piece of that action, it could offset some more tax cuts!”
    — Paul “Green Eyeshades” Ryan

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I have a cousin that could get you opiate abuse for a couple of hundred.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        “I’ll take ‘Opiates’ for $200, Alex. ”
        — The new Jeopardy

  • BigCSouthside

    “Charles Manson dead. Obama/Clinton had 8 years to make him die. I did it in one. Obama/Clinton are sad losers!”

    -Trump, probably

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Charles Mansion? Terrific Boston real estate deal. I was part of it.”
      — Donald Trump

      • BigCSouthside

        “Wait, did Manson stand for the anthem or no? Cuz that’s important.”

        -Trump to a confused aid before tweeting

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “He stood up to those Hollywood elites.”

          • FlemmishSpy

            “I’d like to win the race war.”

          • BigCSouthside

            “Well hes not so bad then. Did any black guys do something that makes white people mad that I can belittle, mock, and threaten them for? I’ll tweet about that”

      • SDGeoff3

        Lol!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Write your Congresscritters!
    Fight the Tax Increase on Graduate Student Teaching Assistant and all students receiving tuition money from their workplaces.

    https://www.votervoice.net/Shares/BRFCYAioACkfNAj4NpR7FAA

    • Oblios_Cap

      The War on Book-Learning ™ continues apace.

  • Oblios_Cap

    That picture of Trump in the Politico article really highlights his tiny hands.

  • Nounverb911
    • Cosmic Owl

      They got their wheels in a ditch.

    • Resistor Radio

      Fixed, as in spayed or neutered?

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Christian Right has certainly shown their true lack of moral authority these last two years. Much more than they usually did in the past.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, it’s now klaxons rather than dog whistles.

  • Edith Prickly

    Happy Turkey, Football and Retail Death Race week to USAmerica Wonkers!

    • Oblios_Cap

      I have become the anti-consumer, buying only stuff that I need or want. I’ll be sleeping in on Black Friday and won’t go anywhere near a store.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Mr. MinS nags about adding things to my “wish list.” I try to stick to things like Kindle books, since WE HAVE ENOUGH “STUFF.” Also too I’ve convinced him that donations to Heifer International are a good thing.

    • Cosmic Owl

      Turkey? Good. I roast one every year.

      Football? Meh. Prefer MST3K’s Turkey marathon. Football isn’t as amusing.

      Shopping? I don’t darken the door of any retail estblishment on the Friday after Thanksgiving.

      Now y’all know.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Retail Death Race is the name of my new Wal-Mart themed death funk band.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904

    Come, ye thankful people, come,
    Raise the song of harvest home;
    All is safely gathered in,
    Ere the winter storms begin…

    Say, it’s Thanksgiving Week!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dbecbbac9ddd25f6bf75d69b8362ec36bb555f8390450215425e2f8f5d9896cf.jpg

    • Nounverb911

      Needs more pardoning.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos
      • Cosmic Owl

        I, too, find that pillow skeptical.

    • Marion in Savannah

      If I tried to do that to any of my cats they’d end up by dragging me outside and burying me in the back yard. And leave it to someone else to clean up the blood.

      • BadKitty904

        It would never even cross my mind to attempt any such outrage.

    • Cosmic Owl

      I can’t even keep a collar on Albert, FFS.

      • Marion in Savannah

        I’ve got 2 that try to turn themselves inside out if I try to put a flea collar on them. So they get flea drops instead, which they also hate.

    • calliecallie

      That is cat abuse.

      • BadKitty904

        Kitty certainly looks less than thrilled.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    Actual Headline – Donald Trump vs. LaVar Ball: Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who cares?
    https://www.yahoo.com/sports/donald-trump-vs-lavar-ball-whos-right-whos-wrong-cares-042633189.html

    • Cosmic Owl

      It’s not customary for a US president to have endless hissy fits.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, at least he doesn’t wear tan suits or eat arugula.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Or speak coherently.

      • Historicat

        It’s not customary for the prez to be a drooling moron but here we are.

    • Seriously, this was the dumbest story of the day

    • Asterix

      In this whole bullshit story about Trump v. Ball, no one is talking about the Americans Trump said nothing about, did nothing about, who are still in jail there.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, what special tax cut is Ron Johnson aiming to get bought off with? Is there a cheese tax I don’t know about?

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Wow, Morrissey looks like someone’s dad now.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Time to write a moody ballad.

    • Cosmic Owl

      You hurt me with that remark.

      Did I tell you I cry?

    • Morrissey behaves like someone’s dad now. He came to Chicago and tried to bitch about meat during Riot Fest. He was lucky nobody pelted him with old hotdogs.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1ArkHb_7xM

  • Oblios_Cap

    Jared Kushner is waiting on his full security clearance

    He won’t need one where he’s going.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I for one would love to see him in an extremely secure facility.

    • Me not sure

      Trustee status?

      • Naytch

        Tell him there is a Board, just skip the Parole prefix.

    • Arolpin

      He’s much more likely to get a body cavity search than a security clearance.

  • TootsStansbury

    Well, that was a big, heaping spoonful of fuck the world.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “We’re going to party like it’s 1939!”
    — Mar-a-Lago guests

    • Major_Major_Major

      Hey buddy, quit putsching.

      • Cosmic Owl

        Putsch, putsch, beer hall putsch!

  • BadKitty904

    Germany Supplants US as the Country with the Best Global Reputation
    http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/17/world/nation-brand-ranking-trnd/index.html

    Thanks, Republicans!!!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Not to take anything away from Germany, but Denmark, Norway, and Sweden need better press agents.

      • BadKitty904

        And America needs a better government.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “But, we provided the Electoral College to protect you from the whims of the popular vote! Surely your government is sober and responsible!”
          — Ghost of James Madison

          • BadKitty904

            At one time, it was. This is no longer that time.

    • BigCSouthside

      Lol a country that 70 years ago literally attacked the world has a better rep than us because we elected a 70 year old racist child to the White House

      • BadKitty904

        WE didn’t elect him. Russia and its Republican collaborators “elected” him.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “wanting to attend an NRA convention in Louisville last May to get some “backdoor” action with Trump.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/44de58d3b4de227e6007de11385cc85582352a2d27004b2327348aa28652c305.gif

  • Resistor Radio

    Wow! I didn’t know fish did that!

    • Naytch

      Finding Nemo was a Nat Geo special after all!

  • little miss high and mighty

    The coalition negotiating stalled, then stopped on Angela Merkel’s secretly sticking with Ce`m and Katrin (Greens) on the no cap to immigration line, Kinda dissenting her party which had since adapted their sister party’s (CSU) upward limit for refugees, to which the FDP was more than wiling to uphold.
    Ozdmir and Goering-Eckahrdt coulld have in no way conceded the no cap without complete loss of cred. Period.
    Mutti must now do a minority or,
    (what we wants)
    New Elections, then more ages of concerned inertia.

  • Me not sure

    “I did not collude with Russia, I colluded with Russians. THEY collude with Russia. May I go now?… Whaddaya mean no?”

    • Rick Hill

      “What? It’s not like I colluded with Soviets.”

  • Resistor Radio

    It’s a Tax Hike.
    It’s a Tax Hike.
    It’s a Tax Hike.

    I know, I know, stop trying to make fetch happen, Gretchen. But fuck, why are we using their branding?

    • BadKitty904

      But fuck, why are we using their branding?

      I have asked this question for years now. Dems continue to let Republicans control the narrative…

      • Oblios_Cap

        That’s why we can’t get COLAs anymore. Anything under 3% is not a raise, dammit!

      • Resistor Radio

        Seriously. We cannot fight a tax cut. We can talk and talk until we’re blue in the face, explaining to people why a tax cut is a bad thing, why math and percentages and blah blah blah…all Joe Sixpack hears is more money in his pocket. Fuck. It’s a goddamn tax hike, calling it anything else is pointless and a loser.

  • Rick Hill

    If the WH were a little more like Hogwarts.
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aeeEOGQ_460s.jpg

    • Naytch

      Maybe Nixon really got an answer from the former Presidents. I’m getting tired of Slytherin sneaking the House Cup out from under our noses, though.

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

    Shouldn’t BIG INTERNET know that killing net neutrality would murder their business? I know I’d finally quit Comcast just out of spite. People would (gasp) cancel Netflix. ISPs and their dependents are making money hand over fist already, and upheaval wouldn’t make it any better.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Comcast wants you to cancel Netflix. Comcast and ATT et al know that they are simply bit suppliers and that the margin on bits is lower than on content since bits are a commodity. They want to you have to subscribe to their content or at least get a cut of what you are paying for everyone else’s content.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    In a 3-2 vote, the FCC voted to dramatically scale back the Lifeline program, the federally subsidized Internet and phone service for poor people, fucking over 70 percent of wireless phone Lifeline consumers.

    you know, those things help people get jobs, you hypocritical fuck faces. (also too, 911 – these people want other people to literally die)

    • Cosmic Owl

      Because Obamaphones.

      Some black people might have benefitted!

    • Rick Hill

      *Cue trump supporters: “Thanks, Obama.”

    • Doug Langley

      “Help, my social program just fell down and it can’t get up!”

    • Ms.Moon

      These are also given to recent parolees I think. Two recent guests at state facilities were on a bus with me and were talking about their recent says (drugs). They both had these types of phones because they had to reach out to their parole officers and for jobs.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        that’s interesting actually. To combat crime, one of the things we need to do is get parolees jobs. They parole these folks, make it impossible for them to get jobs due to background checks, and make them unreachable and are then surprised when they go back to stealing (for income), drugs (to help the time pass), etc.

    • bupkus231

      Seems like those 3 Republican FCC members STILL think Obama started the Lifeline program….

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    That headline reminds me; I, too, bought a republican prostitute this weekend. At first everything was fine. I mean, I expected her to take my money and then fuck me. But she kept changing her position but still always wanted to be on top. It was annoying. And when I finally finished, she wanted me to promise her I wouldn’t use anyone else.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I think maybe find another metaphor for how the Rs are fucking with us right now mkay? Just a thought.

    • Mavenmaven

      Dear Federalist Forum,

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Is there still a Penthouse Forum? you should submit this. It’s dandy!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Beelzebubba

      The family that preys together…

      • Indeniable Ron

        … stays together, until the patriarch’s will is being written.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    fuck fuck fuck:

    (CNN)A woman says Sen. Al Franken inappropriately touched her in 2010, telling CNN that he grabbed her buttocks while taking a photo at the Minnesota State Fair.

    It is the first allegation of improper touching by Franken, who is a Democrat, while he was in office. It comes just days after Leeann Tweeden, a local radio news anchor in California, said that Franken forcibly kissed and groped her in 2006, when Franken was a comedian.

    Franken has since issued an apology to Tweeden and faces a potential investigation by the Senate Ethics Committee.

    Lindsay Menz, a 33-year-old woman who now lives in Frisco, Texas, reached out to CNN on Thursday hours after Tweeden made her story public. Menz said she wanted to share an “uncomfortable” interaction that left her feeling “gross.”

    According to Menz, she attended the Minnesota State Fair with her husband and father in the summer of 2010, almost two years after Franken was elected to the Senate. Her father’s small business was sponsoring a local radio booth, and she spent the day meeting various elected officials, political candidates and celebrities and taking photos with them as they stopped by the booth.

    When Franken walked in, Menz and her husband, who also spoke with CNN, said they recognized him right away. Menz said she had a brief and cordial exchange with the senator.

    Then, as her husband held up her phone and got ready to snap a photo of the two of them, Franken “pulled me in really close, like awkward close, and as my husband took the picture, he put his hand full-fledged on my rear,” Menz said. “It was wrapped tightly around my butt cheek.”

    “It wasn’t around my waist. It wasn’t around my hip or side. It was definitely on my butt,” she said, recalling that the brazen act lasted three or four seconds. “I was like, oh my God, what’s happening.”

    “He reached around her and kind of pulled her into him,” said her husband Jeremy Menz, who didn’t see what happened behind his wife. “He pulled her in and pushed his head against her head. It was over pretty quick.”

    Lindsay Menz told CNN that she walked away as soon as the photo was taken, without saying anything to the then-first term senator. When she reconnected with her husband moments later, she told him: “He totally grabbed my butt.” Jeremy Menz described that conversation the same way to CNN.

    In a statement to CNN Sunday, Franken said he did not remember taking the photo with Menz and that he felt “badly” that she felt disrespected.

    “I take thousands of photos at the state fair surrounded by hundreds of people, and I certainly don’t remember taking this picture,” Franken said. “I feel badly that Ms. Menz came away from our interaction feeling disrespected.”

    “I felt gross. It’d be like being walking through the mall and some random person grabbing your butt,” Lindsay Menz said. “You just feel gross. Like ew, I want to wash that off of me.”

    “I was upset. I wasn’t happy about it in the least,” Jeremy Menz said. “He was already gone and I wasn’t going to confront him. But yeah — I was in shock, really.”

    Menz’s father, Mark Brown, was also in the radio booth that day but didn’t witness the moment. But he told CNN that his daughter told him about the incident right away.

    Menz’s mother, Jodi Brown, also told CNN that she discussed the incident with her daughter immediately after it happened. She said she distinctly recalls her son-in-law saying to her: “Our senator just groped my wife right in front of me.”

    In the photo of Menz and Franken, the side of the senator’s face is pressed up against Menz’s but the lower halves of their bodies are not shown. Both of them are smiling.

    Menz posted the photo with Franken on Facebook at the time, on August 27, 2010. Her sister, Cari Thunker, commented under the photo: “Sorry, but you two aren’t Bibles (sic) width apart” — a reference, Thunker explained to CNN, to how physically close Menz and Franken were in the photo.

    Menz responded to her sister on Facebook: “Dude — Al Franken TOTALLY molested me! Creeper!” (The exchange is visible to Menz’s Facebook friends.)

    Minnesota statutes state that “intentional touching of the clothing covering the immediate area of the buttocks” is not considered criminal sexual conduct.

    Menz told CNN that what happened immediately after she took the photo with Franken that summer day in 2010 has also stayed with her. Standing nearby was another politician — then-Minnesota Rep. John Kline.

    As she was getting ready to take a picture with Kline, Menz said the congressman asked her whether they should “mutually put our arms around each other” — an interaction that struck her as being in stark contrast with what she had experienced moments ago with Franken.

    Reached on the phone on Friday, Kline, a Republican who retired from Congress this year, confirmed that he attended the Minnesota State Fair in 2010, as he did most years. Kline could not remember seeing the interaction between Menz and Franken. But when CNN described Menz’s recollection of her interaction with Kline before they took a photo together, he told CNN: “As a matter of practice, I did that all the time.”

    “If somebody wanted a picture, I would ask: should I put my arm on your back or your shoulder?” Kline said. He said that as a congressman, he was particularly inclined to do this when taking photos with women.

    Lindsay and Jeremy Menz moved from Minnesota to Texas in 2014. Lindsay Menz is now a stay-at-home-mom of three young kids. Neither is registered with a political party and she said she has equally supported Republican and Democratic candidates while he said he has tended to favor Republicans. The couple voted last year for Donald Trump, and Menz said she has voted for Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar, who is a Democrat, in the past. Menz said she believes she has voted for Franken as well, but is not sure.

    RELATED: Democrats, liberal groups are on the defensive following Franken revelations

    When Menz saw the news of Tweeden’s allegations against Franken on Thursday, she immediately discussed her own run-in with the senator from 2010 with her family. She also posted about it on Twitter and Facebook.

    A friend encouraged Menz to contact a CNN reporter after seeing the network’s coverage of sexual harassment in recent days. Menz was emphatic that she “absolutely” would not have decided to share her story had Tweeden not done the same.

    “I don’t want to paint my story in the same light as hers,” Menz said, saying she believes what happened to Tweeden is much worse.

    Still, she said, “the reason I want to say something is if someone sees that I said something, maybe it would give them the courage to say something too.”

    Franken has not made further statements to the press since releasing two apologies on Thursday. He has said he intends to fully cooperate if there is a Senate Ethics Committee investigation into his behavior.

    “I respect women. I don’t respect men who don’t. And the fact that my own actions have given people a good reason to doubt that makes me feel ashamed,” he said in a statement. “I understand why we need to listen to and believe women’s experiences.”

    • Cosmic Owl

      Yeah, I still don’t see Franken as a sexual predator.

      • MynameisBlarney

        If he’s a serial groper though…
        He needs to resign. That shit ain’t cool.

        • Cosmic Owl

          I’m reserving judgement.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Please, let’s not be like them. Splitting hairs undermines victims first and foremost. Also, it undermines the absolute fact that any unwelcome contact is a harassment/assault. Period.

    • Blackest Noobs

      they really are grasping at straws to keep this Franken story alive. even if he did do the butt grab im pretty sure that doesn’t really constitute as full on molestation.

      bad form and not condone but molesting? really???

      “Menz responded to her sister on Facebook: “Dude — Al Franken TOTALLY molested me! Creeper!” (The exchange is visible to Menz’s Facebook friends.)

      Minnesota statutes state that “intentional touching of the clothing covering the immediate area of the buttocks” is not considered criminal sexual conduct.”

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Well someone is grasping at straws… “Bad form”? Really? Relying on a statue to make this somehow less awful? I, too, believe that keeping the Franken story alive benefits the GOP, but let’s not try to minimize the piggishness of grabbing women’s asses.

        • Blackest Noobs

          i get your zero tolerance stance but wasn’t condoning any BAD behavior because of the law, but the lady was saying she was molested…that’s a bit of hyperbole there, you take it as you want.

          i think it’s mostly bullshit, and Republicans trying to use it a distraction.
          for instance the ladies accusing Moore are Republicans, Tweeden isn’t a Democrats, and has known hard right-wing views.

          Is there something there? maybe but i have my doubts. apparently you do not.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Oh, no, I do have my doubts about Tweeden’s motives and the actual facts, and as you point out, she, herself, has been guilty of similar behavior. I think we are essentially on the same page, but for gawd’s sake, men have got to start acting like gentlemen. And you are right that I have zero tolerance.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    “Haha, the anger and dispair of poor people gives me a big-ol’ boner”
    https://twitter.com/riotwomennn/status/932321372071751685?s=17

    • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      How’d that POV work out for the French aristos in 1789?

      • Indeniable Ron

        Hard to get an answer from someone without a head.

    • therblig

      kind of low rent posing with $1s, isn’t it?

  • Nounverb911
  • Beelzebubba

    Not that there’s a climate problem or anything, but this is a crabapple tree. In New York. In November. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/29bfb9995734af3ace78bf053ef0ae31a3ab9f8080d1ff8641bf51d772ab8ad0.jpg
    .

    • Cosmic Owl

      Grew up in NY, and yeah – crab apple trees can bloom twice.

      Here in Dixie, some azaleas do the same.

      • Marion in Savannah

        But it’s still not quite normal to see them blooming at this time of year.

        • Nounverb911

          What’s normal anymore?

          • Marion in Savannah

            Point well taken!

          • Jeffery Campbell

            None of it, Katie. Wait….that’s not right, is it?

        • Cosmic Owl

          No, but it happened to ours over the years.

          Just something I noticed.

    • Nounverb911

      Who’s Andy Cuomo been making deals with lately?

    • Indeniable Ron

      Our magnolia was trying to bud right up until last week. Southern Ontario. It’s madness.

    • DrBigHead

      There are saguaro cactus blooming in and around Tucson. This usually happens in the heat of the summer, with the fruit ripening around July 1. I have only lived here since 1986, but this is the first time to my knowledge that it has happened.

  • grindstone

    “Here’s a lovely story of (ALLEGEDLY) drunk politicians in Florida acting exactly like you’d expect, including special guest appearance by “Montezuma’s revenge.””

    Hand to god, I’ve been in HOA meetings that went EXACTLY like this. Damn copy cats, get your own brand of Florida crazy.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Morrissey is a certified twunt with the voice of a fallen angel.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/iKO0YB0sOZoCQ/giphy.gif

    • Cosmic Owl

      You hurt me with the remark.

      Did I mention I cry?

    • Resistor Radio

      Sigh. I still like his (old) music.

      • It happens. There’s always musicians and artists that have done awful things, or a just genuinely awful people.

        • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

          The wonder of Morrissey is that such a dismal and self-defeating human has managed to make such genuinely beautiful and uplifting work.

          A most fascinating case.

          • Daniel

            It behooves everyone to write their sharp tongued condemnations of the behaviour of that reprehensible attention seeker Morrissey in the unnecessary polysyllables which he himself would seek always to employ when talking about anything he feels strident about.

            Rather than to just write him off as a bellend.

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            I think that Morrissey largely depleted his store of polysyllabic condemnations when he penned his autobiography.

            He’s more inclined these days to monosyllabic curses and the odd grunt.

        • Resistor Radio

          See: Phil Spector

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I knew I should have sent him a Happy International Men’s Day Card yesterday.

    • janecita

      I hate Morrissey as a person, but growing up The Smiths were one of my favorite bands. I still love their stuff.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Yeah – these days I absolutely loathe him.

        Unfortunately, he’s also my favorite singer. There’s seldom been a more compelling case for separating the art from the artist.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    In the Unintended Consequences Department
    https://twitter.com/krassenstein/status/932036954396479488?s=17

    • Marion in Savannah

      His lips, God’s ear, etc., etc.

    • BadKitty904

      My brother, who lives in Orlando, says that the city government, school system, etc., are already feeling the impact of this and are planning on said migration to continue and grow…

    • We were just talking about doing this story….

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Nice time!

      • BadKitty904

        DO EEET!!! We can use a glimmer of hope, now and then,…

        • Frances

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !fy303d:
          ➽➽
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      • Naytch

        OT Awesome:Your gifs are the bomb this morning!!

    • little miss high and mighty

      Ah the old P.R diaspora dream.
      Florida is their Zion as much as it is Cuba’s.
      P.R. Used to be righty and loved Reagan but felt betrayed when Emily Latella’ s counsel was not kept over getting a STEAK- each resumably.
      So now they are Dems cause of Bams or whatevs.
      They need a (our) continental identity and could help turn the Cuboids left in time with exposer to their germs for us)
      So, heck yeah- Come one (dem) come all
      Gotta undo these ages of gerriandary somehows.

    • Canned Covfefe

      But wait! Don’t they need visas and such to get into the US?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Extreem vetting is required. They are brown, after all.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Franken and Ellison have acknowledged my email to them.

    Klobuchar…. I am waiting. :-P

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Thanks for all the links, Dom. It’s like a pre-Thanksgiving buffet, though, we don’t want to fill up too much.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    huh…it seems that whole “AN ILLEGAL MURDERED AN INNOCENT (WHITE) LADY” narrative may not be the whole story.

    (also, I find all this and the resulting outrage odd, considering that this kind of thing happens every day to responsible (white) gun owners):

    Prosecutors said Garcia Zarate, 45, deliberately aimed a gun into an unsuspecting crowd on the pier and pulled the trigger. He then immediately tried to cover his tracks, they argued, by throwing his gun into the San Francisco Bay and fled the scene. And a police interrogation would help prove his guilt, lead prosecutor Diana Garcia tried to convey to the jury.

    “He admitted deliberately firing the gun,” Garcia told the panel of six men and six women.

    But defense lawyers say the evidence points to an accidental shooting, especially since the bullet ricocheted off the ground before striking Steinle nearly 80 feet away. They contend Garcia Zarate found the gun wrapped in a T-shirt or cloth under his seat on the pier and that it went off by accident, seconds after the discovery. (Authorities said the gun had been stolen from an off-duty Bureau of Land Management agent’s car four days earlier.)

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/20/us/kate-steinle-murder-trial-closing-arguments/index.html

    • little miss high and mighty

      good work ,D of S.T.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Courser_Resistance

      Oh, she can go fuck herself. I turn 59 this week. I ain’t dead yet. (jury’s out on whether that’s a good or bad thing)

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Happy Birthday! Turned 56 two months ago. Is 59 any better?

        • Courser_Resistance

          Another year closer to Medicare?

  • Rick Hill

    No connection to Russia? Why the sekrit handshakes?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HDyEjyuviY

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Fuck breakfast.

  • Nounverb911

    Gloria Allred lives in LA you Anti-Semitic bastard.
    https://twitter.com/MooreSenate/status/932607996571549701

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Keep bringing up your creeper story until election day!

    • janecita

      Dear Roy Moore, go Fuck Yourself.

      Signed.

      Decent People Everywhere

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Good morning, Judge Pedophile!

    • janecita

      NY=Elitists
      Except for Trump, he is one of the them (their stupidity knows no bounds).

    • bupkus231

      I knew it! When I saw that tweet yesterday, I thought there was something wrong ( besides being from Roy ).

  • BadKitty904

    It will be interesting, this week, to see how Trump fucks up the traditional Presidential Turkey Pardoning…

    • Timothy Watson

      “Ungrateful turkeys! I’m rescinding the pardon and having them for dinner!”

    • Nounverb911
      • Rick Hill

        Not to mention
        “Pardon the turkey? Then what the hell do we eat on T-day? Nope, not going to do it until you tell me what’s in it for me. “

      • TakingAmes

        I thought they spent the night in the White House Press Secretary’s office. Sarah Huck is laying down the newspapers now.

      • Honestly? Fried Turkey is overrated.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          It’s easy to overdo (even without a flaming inferno).

        • Courser_Resistance

          Nothing can beat my Ex’s bird, who’d roast a kosher turkey in an old-school Weber charcoal BBQ. Always unstuffed, so it didn’t take all that long. It was always awesome.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            I’m trying that for the first time this year. “fingers crossed*

        • TakingAmes

          Agreed. Brine and smoke that shit.

    • BigCSouthside

      In the official pardon declaration he scratches out the turkey’s name and replaces it with “Donald trump jr”

    • Juan de Fuca

      I read this on another blog somewhere and forgot who said it but it was something along the lines of –

      “For Thanksgiving this year, Trump is going to round up all the Turkey’s that Obama pardoned and kill them.”

    • IdiotsforPalin

      He’ll only pardon the white meat……..

    • jesterpunk

      He will talk about himself and complain no one thanked him for pardoning the turkeys then pardon Jr.

    • dshwa

      I’m trying to decide if he can top that Palin pardoning…or if that’s an impossibility.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Demand that the turkey’s be named “Little Donnie I” and “Little Donnie II”?

      • BadKitty904

        “Manafort” and “Flynn”…

  • Juan de Fuca

    Re. the Lavar Ball v. Donald Trump drama, watching the sitting President of the United States (a dipshit) arguing on Twitter with another dipshit obsessed with his own media attention sounds like something that could’ve been predicted in 2016.

    If only someone would’ve spoken up and said – Hey! If we elect this guy, it’s going to play out like a reality TV show, you know that, right?

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I am beginning to feel that these morning Wonkagenda articles are becoming too overwhelming. By 10:00 AM, my rage battery is completely depleted.

    Fuck this shit! Fuck all of this shit!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I find replenishing my rage reserves with alcoholic electrolytes in the evening to be helpful.

      • SDGeoff3

        The evening? Only in the evening? What are you, seriously employed?

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          I try to maintain a degree of self-discipline.

    • jesterpunk
      • dshwa

        Still a favorite.

  • puredog

    My news reading has gotten more efficient under Drumpf. If any other president floated a list of possible S Ct nominees, I’d want to read about it to see if I liked any of them particularly. Now, though, all I have to do is hear about it, and go immediately to “please, God, NOT,K.” Saves time.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I didn’t even look at the list and know that they’re all horrifying.

    • Impatient

      ALLOWED WORDS: “Jesus Fucking Christ!” and “Gaaawd’s Cock!” (Seriously, an old salt of a Navy Senior Chief used this latter phrase as his bread and butter expletive, until the Captain told him some people were complaining and he’d have to stop.)

      UNALLOWED WORDS (or things): “Federalist Society”

  • Nounverb911

    Thanksgiving travel tip from the New Yorker: DON’T!

    https://twitter.com/NewYorker/status/932473643359186944

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Ghenghis McCann

      But those were different times. Back in the 80s nobody bothered about a little conspiring with foreign governments. Nowadays it’s Political Correctness gone mad.

  • IdiotsforPalin
    • Opiwan

      goddamn I love Terry Tate

  • Daniel

    Morrissey, you insufferable arse, I say this as one Manc to another, please, for the love of all that is holy, shut up and stop turning into the Daily Mail with a thesaurus.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Are those bulbs of garlic I’m seeing?

      • No, useless mini pumpkins

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Thank goodness I live in NotAmerica.

          • Petunia Cat

            Yes, otherwise you would have to celebrate American Thanksgiving a.k.a. Sad Halloween. 😒🦃 ❌🍬🍫👻❌

    • jesterpunk

      Did someone forget to clean the kitchen table for months then try and pass it off as a holiday decoration?

    • NastyBossetti

      “Have no idea how to decorate your Thanksgiving table? Neither do we!”

    • natoslug

      This is why you should never listen to Gwyneth Paltrow’s steaming advice. Do it once too often, and it’ll crawl right out of you and die on the table. Brave of her to pass it off as a centerpiece, though.

    • Edith Prickly

      Where the hell is the food going to go?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Be kind. The food will be served in the Hall of Mirrors.
        The menu includes:
        Squab stuffed with rich foie gras soaked in $5,000 per bottle Courvoisier L’Esprit Cognac.

        Roasted farm-raised organic turkey stuffed with seven pounds of ground Japanese Wagyu filet mignon.

        Turkey gravy made from renderings infused with $1,750 per bottle Chateau Mouton Rothschild.

        Cranberry orange relish with Gran Marnier.

        Butternut squash infused with winter black truffles.

        Creamy mashed potatoes with Swedish moose cheese.

        Whipped sweet potatoes topped with Royal Osetra 000 caviar.

        Poached bourbon-soaked pears with pumpkin paste dusted with 24-carat gold flakes.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          A moose once bit my sister.

          • TakingAmes

            Did she get better?

        • SDGeoff3

          That’s a lot of hooch for a teetotaler.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Looks like one of the willow trees from Hogwarts is growing through her kitchen table.

      • Petunia Cat

        Good! #Womping 😊

    • Fartknocker

      That’s a kitchen counter you dumb twat. It’s the location where food is prepared and alcohol is consumed while everyone hovers around the cooks. As a skilled cook I need every square inch of space to prepare the meal and the use of dead clam shell is a wasteful tribute to bivalves everywhere.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Be kind. The cooks are in the catering kitchen. This kitchen is just for show and the white servants.

      • ltmcdies

        I’m thinking the cooks are “below stairs”

    • Petunia Cat

      Just throw random garbage on it? 🤔 #Architecting

    • TakingAmes

      Get clear acrylic chairs so your elderly relations fall and break their hips?

      • ltmcdies

        well they can avoid that estate tax now

    • Meccalopolis

      is this what she feeds the help?

    • ltmcdies

      what doesn’t scream “Thanksgiving” than anemic pumpkins and a clamshell

    • eyelashviper

      Looks like high tide washed up some really nasty stuff.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Aw, I love clown fish! Who knew they’re smart, too?

  • Jeffery Campbell

    The Nemo squad is squee and all, but let’s leave the coconuts to the brainy octopuses shall we?
    https://youtu.be/BULXKrzLhig

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Pigs and octopuses are really smart and no one should eat them.

      They’re also both stone-cold delicious.

      It’s just not fair.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, I just can’t not eat bacon…and ham…and pulled pork…
        Not too fond of calamari though.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Calamari is squid in my neighborhood.

          • MynameisBlarney

            You and your facts!

            Still nasty though.

          • SDGeoff3

            Like permanently chewy boogers. With garlic.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Winner!
            We have a WINNAH!!!!

      • President in Exile Firefly

        Demetri Martin: “Pets are animals that are not tasty.”

        • SDGeoff3

          He has been a favorite of mine for quite a while.

      • TakingAmes

        Truth.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Dominic. You know I heart you. Ew.

    Nice times:

    https://twitter.com/gaylelemmon/status/932366521229332481

  • Flashman

    I am spending the week being thankful for Robert Mueller.

    • TundraGrifter

      Sir Harry – is that you?

  • puredog

    I have a kind of one-off and hard-to-spell name, so, when making restaurant reservations over the phone, I always say “Manson, party of 4.” It’s easy to spell, and no one has EVER asked me if I’m a relation. Now what?

  • Backdoor action is not gross! Backdoor action can be a beautiful, wonderful thing! Just sayin’,

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Is poop considered a wetland pollutant? Asking for my dog.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Happy…
    Genocidesgiving?

    https://i.imgur.com/dh0HuKY.png

  • Russell Simmons and Brett Ratner join the “garbage men” trashheap:

    http://www.latimes.com/business/hollywood/la-fi-brett-ratner-russell-simmons-20171119-htmlstory.html

    By the way according to (self-important) “expert” counselors that make up the Twitter Universe (they got their PhDs in Rape Apologist so you know they’re certified) the biggest moral failing and “sin” here was of course sexual assault and unwanted sexual contact taking a shower! (gasp)*

    *You know, I admit that there was a tiny bit of my male ego that was becoming a bit “unnerved” about some women going the “Ugh! Men!” route. By after hearing some of the reactions to this story, i can totally see why some of y’all are so pissed off at the gender…even though some of those above “experts” were women.

  • CripesAmighty

    https://twitter.com/RepAdamSchiff/status/932322166028296192h

    Thinking maybe start vetting this guy–No-prisoners attitude of Ted Lieu with preternatural composure of Barack Obama.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Why does such a small man need such enormous pants?
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf839afff2ede8d51b79adb7415576f17bbda903caa71bf2b7c442789ed57f78.jpg

      Whoa! Never mind…

      • BadKitty904

        Looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket…

        ~ Clairee Belcher

        • Meccalopolis

          ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag

        • TakingAmes

          “If you can’t say anything nice about somebody, come sit by me!”

    • NastyBossetti

      Because this country is full of small people, who want to see people like them being terrible with impunity.

  • Now I got smiths songs in my head to deal with, too, also and all of em Katie.

    Thanks?

  • puredog

    Per his tweets, Donnie apparently thinks that the customary Chinese punishment for shoplifting — 5 to 10 years in prison — is appropriate. I wonder if he feels the same way about the Chinese punishment for treason?

  • And on a note related to the my posting below: Fake Rape accusations tend to be “fake news”

    https://qz.com/980766/the-truth-about-false-rape-accusations/

    • Petunia Cat

      This was superb!

  • nightmoth

    Shouldn’t our Nazis and Aryan Society patriots be in mourning today over the death of Manson? Perhaps flying their “don’t step on snake flags” at half-mast? Lest we forget, Manson’s idea with the murders was to start a race war that, of course, white people would win and then beg him to be their leader. His band of blown-mind disciples used the victims’ blood to write on the walls that the Black Panthers did it. Maybe cops were smarter in those days, because they did not fall for it.

    • therblig

      just posted above – dead breitbartians think we are.

  • Culinary Mercenary

    OT to everything but worthy of mentioning. As the Dallas Cowboys were getting their asses handed to them last night, the usual Jerry Jones skybox shot. He looked like he just found a large cold shit in his sandwich, and right behind him was an equally miserable Chris Christy. I hope that feeling is what he experiences for the rest of his miserable life. Go Birds.

    • The Wanderer

      So . . . the Iggles won? I didn’t watch the game.

      • Culinary Mercenary

        Tough first half, put 30 points on ’em in the second, final 37 to 9.

  • Poly_Ester

    New fundagelical hymn — It begins, “Praise Trump from whom all blessings flow.”

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      [sniffs delicately]
      That’s not blessings…

    • therblig

      suffer the little hands unto him.

      • Impatient

        (washes hands)

  • therblig

    according to rwnj co-worker and dead breitbart, we liberals are all in mourning for charles manson today. they truly are shitheads.

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-journalism/2017/11/19/charles-manson-a-villain-in-death-served-as-a-counterculture-hero-in-1969/

    • Khavrinen

      Given that one of the things his “family” were supposed to be trying to accomplish with their murders was to start a “race war”, seems more likely to me that he would have been playing on their team than ours. Plus, you know, that swastika in the middle of his forehead…

    • Hardly Ideal

      Funny, I heard someone on KPCC say he not just killed those people, but the Counterculture Movement as well. Not a terribly liberal cause right there.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Uggggghhhh. So much infuriating shite news today, plus my roommate still hasn’t paid me the over 100 bucks he owes me for bills AND drank the last of the coffee this morning because he thought I had already left for work (and he never buys the goddam coffee in the first place), and and and…
    Hoo boy, I’m gonna have aside some extra meditation time today.
    The Mueller tidbits aren’t even enough to improve my mood this morning. That said, the Tom Waits embed was very welcome, thanks for that, Dom!

    • Impatient

      As per usual, I got about 2/3 of the way through Dominic’s informative glossary, and then started mentally sputtering and cycling … 5 times through or so. Sorta experiencing “D.S. al Coda” from my high school band days. I’m still not sure I could repeat, or even recognize, what was in the last 5 or 10 items. I remember seeing Chelsea Handler, and Bill sumpin sumpin. Thanks?

      (Of course, seriously, thanks Dominic.)

      • alpacapunchbowl

        And I just got off a super fun commute where the guy next to me was non-stop dropping ass that could peel wallpaper, and then another guy was blocking the entire escalator and then elbowed me in the tit after I said excuse me and tried to walk past him.
        Fuck the universe.

        • Impatient

          I can attest that I know one person who would not do those things. Maybe the universe is sorry. And hey, things can only get better for the rest of your day!!! (???)

          • alpacapunchbowl

            It’s a short work week. Though I have been working 10-12 hour days. I just need to make it to Wednesday and then I can catch the train to Wisconsin and make sweet potato pie with my niece and cook and craft with my mum and sis and ignore the news altogether.
            We don’t go to my RWNJ uncle’s house for the holidays anymore, so the only jackass I’ll have to deal with is my brother-in-law, who will hopefully spend most of the day hunting (i.e., sitting in a tree all day getting stoned) and just show up right before dinner is served to stuff his fucking gob and then fuck off to his grandparents house so I’ll barely have to deal with him. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3a7b98e2a47774c2539b7cf7c35f0588a92e3433a6b5ad7affa80be84e67c43a.jpg

    • ltmcdies

      I think “drinking the last coffee” gets close a hanging offence in some corners of the globe…

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I don’t believe in the death penalty, but he needs a serious checkup from the neck up.
        I am a verrrrrrry laid back flatmate, but he has been living here for over a year and I can count on one hand how many times he’s taken out the garbage or emptied the dishwasher, and the extent of any cleaning he’s ever done is that I think he’s maybe wiped down the bathroom sink once or twice, when a buddy of his was coming over.
        He also regularly pays his rent over a month late, which I find utterly puzzling considering he has a steady job. I think the guy might have a gambling issue.
        Gah, sorry. Rant over
        Anyway, I’m going to be out of town for the better part of the week, so I have an imminent break from his crap.

        • You need a new roommate asap. It’s not worth the aggravation. Also, too, he’s a user and abuser. Move his stuff to the curb. People like him get by by taking advantage of others but only if you let him.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Eh, he’s mostly easy to ignore.
            I’ve got much bigger things to worry my pretty head about, believe it or not, and I have to curate my battles appropriately, as it were.

          • OK. You have to do what’s right for you. : )

          • sarafina

            Does he know these things bother you? If you just expect him to read your mind, things may not improve.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      My brother is getting divorced and is moving in with me, all while I am renovating my condo. And he has his kids on the weekends.
      But it’s cool because his wife is a bitch and he needs some peace. We also get along well and share monies all the time.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That doesn’t sound too bad, though I don’t think I could live with my sis for an extended period of time.
        Maybe your brother can be of help here and there as the renovations are in progress?

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          He is helping but only when his new girlfriend is not mesmerizing him.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Hmm, now that situation I would personally be careful to set boundaries.
            The very first thing that flashed into my mind is to make sure he’s clear that he’s the one moving in with you, not he *and* the girlfriend. Just speaking from my own personal experience.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            She has her own place and he’s there a lot. Can’t take the kids there and he needs a legal address. We’ve signed a rental agreement and he’s taking on the power bill.

          • sarafina

            Sounds like you’ve prepared pretty well, hope it all works as non-dramatically as possible.

  • NotReallyHere

    Stephan Pastis doesn’t usually do political commentary, but he has been recently.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f8cd647d44732e8f73f4802dbd8e4bc36beb007c90bbd58566154a860a3d9402.gif

  • eyelashviper

    Super wonderful Nice Time, thank you, it continues to restore my hope for the salvation of the planet by Not Human Beings.

  • Impatient

    “suck up everybody in Trump’s orbit”

    Can we start with the assumption that this includes absolutely ALL elected and appointed Republicans in the federal government (and many in state governments), until proven otherwise?

    Just asking, for a friend’s sanity.

  • coozledad

    We’re on the same page, Dominic:

    If Plutarch were writing his Parallel Lives today, he might do worse than placing Trump along with Charles Manson. Manson’s formative years in juvenile detention centers and prisons taught him the same lessons about cognitive empathy that Trump learned from his daddy when he accompanied him on rent collection shakedowns- both of them talentless white supremacists banking on the Stockholm Syndrome for a steady diet of sexual prey, both of them prophets of a coming racial Armageddon, and both of them starfuckers.

    The only difference is one of scale, both in terms of family membership, and the victim count in their pursuit of stochastic terror. The Manson Family was small, dogged, and blind to their own viciousness.

    The Republican family is much larger, but committed to the same goals. They’re part of a White Wheel that spun out of the fringe-trash sixties with a shared pathological sense of victimhood and privilege.

    Maybe Manson was onto something. He’d read correctly into the white zeitgeist, but lacked the capital, friends or the sociopathic chops to make the initial investment in a political career on the backs of stupid, resentful whites. I’m sure he was thankful to the Republican Party for taking the necessary steps to fulfill his dream. They, in turn, should celebrate him as the founder of their church.

    • yyyaz

      Masterful. Bravo!

    • Red Bird

      Slightly on topic my senior citizen mother over the weekend randomly asked me “when will this white race thing end?”. I was not sure if she thought it was a passing fad or what.

  • Khavrinen

    “the rich and fabulous people of Palm Beach are shunning Mar-A-Lago, Trump’s trash palace is catering to crazy “alt-right” groups to pay the bills.”

    Does that mean they’ll be changing their label to “alt-fabulous”?
    Nah, probably not.

  • ltmcdies

    so chuck is gone is he …may he be dropped in a hole the dirt shovelled over and his name never spoken.

    my traditional send off for murderous dipshits

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0BTdo6qGwo

  • BMW

    The big mouth of Morrissey struck again after he began defending pedophiles, Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein. This charming man knows so much about these things.
    ISWYDT.

  • Hardly Ideal

    I heard on KPCC that Charles Manson has been getting R.I.P. posts from people who are confusing him with Marilyn Manson.

    People, you have the Internet. It’s like this almighty mental limb that, at least nominally, let’s you have a rudimentary knowledge of practically anything. For fuck’s sake.

  • Just wanted to thank you Dominic for all your great work. Happy Thanksgiving to you!

  • gingerland62

    When Jared speaks his top and bottom lips move but only his bottom jaw moves. It’s unnatural and unnerving. My husband says it’s because he is a cannibal. I don’t know if I believe that.

    • Impatient

      He and his kind are absolutely cannibals … sometimes known as financiers or capital managers. And we, and our country, are the biggest and tastiest meal around.
      Winning ????????????????

    • rubikcube

      Well, not for nothing but NOBODY’S top jaw moves. Try it.

    • sarafina

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • Either that, or a defective android.

      • gingerland62

        That is where I am leaning.

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks so much, Dominic. I hope you and yours have a happy Thanksgiving, whatever you’re doing; wherever you’re going. It’s well-deserved.

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