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Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared! JARED! Mister “I Have To Update My Disclosure Forms Every Week Because I Keep Suddenly Remembering Money And Foreign Connections That Were Supposed To Be A Secret.” Mister “What Private Email Server? Oh THAT Private Email Server?” Mister “I Never Met With One Million Russians! Oh You Mean THOSE One Million Russians?”

Kush has made a big show of being VERY COOPERATIVE with the various Trump-Russia investigations, turning over ALL his emails and his sexts and his Snapchats and Grindr messages (allegedly), but it turns out he’s full of shit, and the Senate Judiciary Committee is through with him. (Yes, the same Senate Judiciary Committee whose Trump-Russia investigation has basically fallen apart because of partisan squabbling.) Jared Kushner’s less-than-forthcoming behavior has apparently been so egregious that even GOP Senator Chuck Grassley, who would MUCH rather be fellating corn cobs right now, please and thank you, has fired off a letter with Democratic committee co-chair Dianne Feinstein, demanding Kushner share ALL THE REST of his Russian emails. You know, the ones he didn’t share the first time, when he said he was sharing them all. When even Grassley thinks you’re triflin’, boy you are TRIFLIN’.

Some excerpts from the letter:

HOLD UP RIGHT THERE. We know what they’re talking about with the “communications to Mr. Kushner concerning WikiLeaks,” that he “then forwarded to another campaign official.” That would be Donald Trump Jr. and his love notes with Julian Assange. When Junior followed Assange’s orders and reached out to the rest of the campaign, he sent it to Jared Kushner, who then forwarded it to Hope Hicks.

But what in the hockey sticks is this “Russian backdoor overture and dinner invite”? Did the Russians overture Jared Kushner’s back door? At least they wanted to buy him dinner first! OR PERHAPS is it related to when Kushner met with former Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak about setting up a back channel for secret communications with Russia during the transition? It could be that! (Funny news about Kislyak, by the way. He said on Russian TV that it would take him 20 MINUTES to list all the Trump people he ever met with, because it was that much of a fucking clown car.)

And communications with Sergei Millian? Wasn’t he one of the sources for the DODGY DOSSIER? Yes, he was! So that’s weird!

Regardless, we are now learning that “others” have provided all these communications that Grassley and Feinstein have obviously seen, but “Jared” didn’t. Wonder if “others” are trying to telegraph that “Jared” is guilty as fuck and probably should go to jail? Whoa if true!

Grassley and Feinstein would also like the following information from Kushner’s personal files related to Michael Flynn:

That is a pretty good list of things that might relate to Michael Flynn and also might refer to Jared Kushner! You’ve got all the Russian sanctions stuff, the Flynn foreign agent stuff, the hacking stuff, ALL THE STATE-OWNED RUSSIAN BANKS (remember, that was one of Kushner’s weird Russian meetings he initially failed to disclose), and then that other back-channel thing, about Blackwater sadist Erik Prince with his secret meeting in the Seychelles about setting up a back-channel with Russia.

It’s very interesting that Grassley and Feinstein fired this letter off in such a public way, isn’t it? Oh well, guess Jared better get to producing all the shit he forgot to share the first time, assuming he hasn’t bleached his emails like a common Hillary.

News came out in the past 24 hours that Robert Mueller is subpoenaing the Trump campaign for all its documents, which is interesting because up to now, we’ve been hearing just how nicely everybody has been co-operating with Mueller’s investigation. We imagine there are myriad reasons for Mueller’s subpoena, but we are going to guess one of them is JARED.

Considering Mueller’s past behavior when it comes to Trump people being less than forthcoming in producing their documents, Wonkette suggests Jared ‘n’ Ivanka go ahead and start planning their early morning breakfast menus to provide enough food for them, their kids, their servants AND A HUNDRED FBI AGENTS.

Wouldn’t want Mueller’s boys to be hungry when it’s time for “KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKER” at Casa Javanka.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Judiciary Committee letter]

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  • BadKitty904

    Perhaps the Senate Judiciary Committee forgot to say the Magic Word?

  • JohnBull

    How is he going to solve the Israel-Palestine conflict with all this harassment?
    Lie-beral hipocrasy at it’s worst!

  • Iron Monkey

    Don’t say you will voluntarily disclose documents and then skip all the important ones. Mueller doesn’t like that and he will fuck you up.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Isn’t “Slimy Fuck” just a little bit too complimentary of Jared?

  • Anna Rompage

    I’m wondering, would the Russians have to buy Jarred a lobster dinner to gain access his backdoor in effort to back channel sensitive information from the campaign, or would he give that up willingly?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      After the back door, if it’s good, they’ll take him to Red Lobster. That’s what Beyonce does.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Wonkette suggests Jared ‘n’ Ivanka go ahead and start planning their early morning breakfast menus to provide enough food for them, their kids, their servants AND A HUNDRED FBI AGENTS.

    Here’s hoping the FBI agents bring something to serve instead:

    http://www.olcplc.com/public/images-pr/1331911764subpoena.png

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I now hand over all files from my fantastic, historic campaign win. It was the largest win in history. A lot of people don’t know that.

    http://thehill.com/sites/default/files/article_images/trumps_pence01112017getty.jpg

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      My favorite was when John Oliver had him speaking in Gilbert Godfried’s voice. Then I heard Jared’s real voice. meh.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh, BTW, Jared the Slimy Fuck, the correct abbreviation for Flynn’s title is LTG. You of course would not know that because you’re fuckin’ civilian slime.

    • Paul

      WTF??!! Civilians are slime?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        No, not ALL civilians. Just guys like Jared.

  • proudgrampa

    What continues to amaze me about this story is all the meetings and familiarity with Russians.

    I am 66 years old, and I have never met a Russian.

    • Oblios_Cap

      At our age, Russian meets you!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I have, and I avoid them.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I dated a Russian woman briefly.
      She was actually pretty cool.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Was her name Sveltvana? Because that would be awesome.

        • MynameisBlarney

          LOL
          I don’t remember actually, but it wasn’t Svetlana.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Me neither … well, except for my (late) grandmother who fled the pogroms.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’ve met a couple. Immigrants in the service industry. As good and bad as anyone else.
      But I’ve never had a reason to hangout with them, not even in pub. So yeah not a common thing

    • Covfefe

      My son teaches martial arts in a university town. He’s met lots of Russians and almost all of the men have sparred with Vladimir Vladimirovich, with varying decrees of success, except one, who reportedly said, with awe and foreboding in his voice “You don’t understand. Nobody throws Putin.”

      • aureolaborealis

        I’ve seen the videos. I’m sure he’s a good judoka, but I recognize compliant ukes when I see them.

        • Ha ha, uke is also the term used in Japanese homoerotic fanfic for, er, the receptive partner :D

          • aureolaborealis

            I did not know that. I guess it makes sense. In martial arts, it’s the person who is being done unto in a demonstration or drill, usually without offering more than token resistance.

    • JohnBull

      Moscow’s pretty cheap right now. Just don’t expect to see the sun until January.

      • Oblios_Cap

        It is snowing there today, I believe.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I watched John Wick, and apparently the Russians are amazingly easy to shoot in the head.

    • natoslug

      My son’s high school has a Russian exchange student. He was amazed at both what America and Americans are really like compared to what he had been taught all his life, and what Americans think Russians are like. Nice kid.

    • OutOfOrbit

      are quite sure, comrade?

    • SadDemInTex

      There are many, many Russians in my field. And for the record….have never been besties with any of them….they are surprisingly insular. They actually don’t welcome other people into their circles (in my experience…maybe you all have had different experiences). Interestingly, I am close to other people from other parts of the world…don’t know why there is a difference.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        I have worked with many in the data center environment, but they do not consider themselves Russian any more. Ukrainian, Georgian. They get mad if you call them Russian.

        • SadDemInTex

          However, they all speak Russian among themselves. So…the Lithuanian is still besties with the guy from Poland. At some core they are still enclosed in that vanished wall.

    • Edith Prickly

      I have, but I went to Russia to meet them and they weren’t rich crooks, just regular people.

  • dslindc

    Jared you ignorant slut! Cough up your damn emails!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Right now Jared’s lawyers are not so much worried about IF their client is going to jail, their big concern is for how long.

    • onedollarjuana

      And how they’re going to get PAID. Because, you know, Trump family.

      • OutOfOrbit

        that why they cannut get no good lawyerin on the case

  • Ruhe

    Jared Kushner…pathetic gangster manque.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Meyer Lansky is SO disappointed.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Dragging their feet, hoping Mueller gets bored and goes by away. This is pathological and delusional privilege on display.

    • OutOfOrbit

      and unmitigated arrogance

    • calliecallie

      Hoping Mueller gets “you’re fired” maybe also too.

    • Covfefe

      I think they think they used so many cuts out that Mueller won’t be able to follow their trails.

  • YayConspiracy

    18 1/2 minutes are missing Jared. You’re in trouble.

    • BJW

      Upvote for Watergate reference.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Obviously they should have run their original request though an English-to-Trump translation.

  • Ricky Gay

    Between Jared and her Pop, poor Ivanka is going to be busy with the conjugal visits! (allegedly)

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      She can architect a solution, I am sure.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Do they let prisoners from the women’s wing out for conjugal visits with their felonious husbands?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        …or will he remain a felonious monk?

        • Slamtundra

          Now that right there is funny.

      • capnkrunch

        Gah! This one was so obvious I should’ve known to refresh before posting.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Enh, no worries, mate. Sometimes an amusing idea is too good not to use twice!

    • capnkrunch

      I don’t think they allow conjugal visits between prisoners.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Don’t the guards more or less ignore those sorts of things?

  • Timothy Watson

    I would bet a $100 that Erik Prince was involved in the scheme between Flynn and the Turkish government to kidnap Fethullah Gulen.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I’m glad Giuliani’s name is starting to come up again regarding Turkey. Throw that impotent ghoul in prison with the rest of them.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Or even crueler, house arrest. Allegedly, Manafort can’t stand it. Gilded Cage.

  • Jamoche

    “And by Magnitsky Act, we mean anything about Russian adoptions too.”

  • Oblios_Cap

    Ah Jared. The epitome of a back-door man.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk_ilymWo4s

  • John McLaughlin

    The Trump family will do anything to be pinned down with charges of treason…expect evasion, lying, …anything to avoid prison for treason. That would further tarnish the Trump name…that is what POTUS Trump cares about most.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s too late. It’s tarnished beyond redemption.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    How much longer until Dumbass throws the Jew under the bus? “He was acting alone, I barely knew the guy!”

    • OutOfOrbit

      his mini-squeeze (vanka) wouldn’t like that very much

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        But with Jared out of the way, there would be a whole lot more Vonky-Daddy time.

        BTW, it’s easy to mistype “bonky” for “Vonky.” Use that knowledge as you see fit.

        • OutOfOrbit

          don’t you see? nothing fits for me

        • Yellow_Dog_Dem

          Well there goes my lunch.

    • BadKitty904

      “Never met him. Trust me.”

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Silly. You Throw the Jew down the Well.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Available at Alex Jones’ online snake oil dealership?

  • onedollarjuana

    But if they do an early-morning raid on the Kushner household, won’t that disturb the babbies?

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Jared & Ivanka: “We have babbies?”

  • memzilla Ω

    Show us on the laptop where the Russians touched you, Jared.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • gallbladder

      Can’t wait for him to pledge.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        You don’t want to know about the hazing.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      State Penn?
      Yail?

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Dying.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Retweeted and Shared.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Make sure to stay away from the Aryan Brotherhood guys, Jared.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    These guys actually thought they could fuck around with the FBI and the Justice Dept and win. They don’t yet know what the phrase “a nation of laws, not men” means, but they will soon enough.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      I believe they think the FBI and justice department can be wheedled and ignored like the judges and cases they have been involved in with their real estate deals.

      Shit doesn’t work that way, yo.

    • DrBigHead

      I’ve reached the point where I’m not holding my breath. I am beginning to think they whole lot of them are going to get off. I’m sorry, but it has been a bad week on a number of fronts.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        The IRS will get all of them. After Mueller is done, of course.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Think we’ll finally get to see Donnie’s tax returns? I was giving up hope!

          • GoutMachine

            How much you wanna bet Wikileaks has them but they have an agreement.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Allegedly, the IRS is building a special vault for those returns to keep them safe.

          • Maxine Headroom

            For all the returns from every president. It’s not special Trumpy treatment (this time.)

            https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/11/15/john-koskinen-taxes-215830

          • Indeniable Ron

            Bastards.
            – Donnie’s ‘plumbers’

  • BadKitty904
  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Best Garrison yet!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s interesting that Ben feels obligated to identify the caricature (?) of Sean Hannity to his anticipated audience.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        In the original it was “Oh the Sean Hannity” instead of “Oh the humanity”

        Just feel the stupid enter your brain…

        • Nockular cavity

          I don’t even understand what he was trying to say. Was he suggesting that Trump-as-flaming-Hindenburg represents a triumph? WTF?

          • Zonath

            It was originally Hillary, but I guess someone thought that Don and/or Jared fit the bill of being a flaming Nazi gasbag better.

          • Nockular cavity

            Ah.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Hannity IS a caricature. The recursiveness would probably break their brains.

      • aureolaborealis

        Or put the MSNBC pin on the Ted Cruz/Rachel Maddow human-like figure in the lower right. At least he understands that he can’t draw well enough that he can skip labels. Or did an editor order him to include them because the caricatures are so bad?
        Here’s a face to go with the dreck. His motto? “Taking a Bite Out of Tyranny”:
        https://i.ytimg.com/vi/gXw21MjWvbY/hqdefault.jpg

    • Nockular cavity

      Needz moar swastikas.

  • WilbyToad

    The Trump–Russia story is a story about money laundering in real estate. Full stop.

    This should not be a surprise to anyone. Because the truth is that’s what his business is about. Trump’s real estate “fortune” isn’t about creating landmarks, running hotels, or building homes. It’s about laundering money on an industrial scale.

    by Mark Sumner, DAILY KOS
    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/11/17/1716456/-The-Trump-Russia-story-is-a-story-about-money-laundering-in-real-estate-Full-stop

  • BreakingDeadMen

    He’s not even Freddo. He’s not even Moe. He’s Shemp.

    • BosGrl

      Curly Joe.

      • Bobathonic

        Joe Besser

    • Timothy Watson

      Shemp libelz!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    What do you expect from a scammy real estate developer whose only life experience is making scammy real estate deals with other scammy real estate developers?

  • gallbladder

    Is it just me, or does Kushy always look like he has an invisible speculum prying his mouth open?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      I always thought it was the “hand up my ass” look …

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Mouthbreather.

  • Oblios_Cap
  • BadKitty904
  • bubbuhh

    If it wuznt fur teh paper trail, Boris n Natasha Kushner might uv got away clean. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0c5fa2d6b419394714672d5928f208deb09ed608e4725d04bf2200b8912a5f58.gif

  • J. M. Tusks, Esq.
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Russia, if you’re listening, could you get Jared’s e-mails?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      This is a case for Wikileaks!

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I’ll settle for just the ones he sent you, you don’t even have to hack. Just what’s in your inbox will do.

  • Me not sure

    “Also, Mr. Kushner was observed by FBI agents writing a phone number down on the back of a laundry ticket. We’d like to see that too. Thanks.”

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      … and that non Kosher deli order also too.

  • calliecallie

    This guy needs to get his security clearance revoked stat!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ted Lieu has been tweeting about this for months now.

    • BadKitty904

      And his passport pulled.

      • Timothy Watson

        I wonder how many passports this asshole has.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          True story – I was sitting my dad while my mom was out of town two week’s and ago, when it was reported that Manafort had as many as five passports. My dad didn’t see a problem with it at first, until I asked him how many passports he had. We are slowly but surely moving my dad away from his Fox News fog. He watches the Vice News update every evening on HBO.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            It’s not unusual to have multiple passports legitmately. For example, a passport with an Israeli visa is considered justification to deny entrance in many Muslim majority countries.

            So you have another one to get into say Saudi Arabia.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            I don’t think Manafort’s had the same name.
            ETA – they don’t. it’s deception.
            https://www.thedailybeast.com/prosecutors-manafort-has-multiple-passports-used-fake-name

      • MynameisBlarney

        And his petard, hoisted!

        • texcynical

          And his petard pulled. And his passport hoisted.

          • MynameisBlarney

            And his tighty-whiteys, WEDGIED!

          • TakingAmes

            Atomic wedgie!

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Gonna blow up his passport?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      There you go again!

  • ken_kukec

    You just know that, once Trump is no longer any good to him, Putin will have to dump all the deep kompromat he’s got on Trump and his no-goodniks for all the world to see, as a show of strength and to create chaos. What a shit-show that’ll be (and it’s likely coming sooner, rather than later).

  • BadKitty904
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • MynameisBlarney
    • GoutMachine

      Nice! Don’t they play music during the snowboarding, or is that just on the X-Games? If so, they could play “Star Man” by Bowie …

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • GoutMachine

    Funny news about Kislyak, by the way. He said on Russian TV that it would take him 20 MINUTES to list all the Trump people he ever met with, because it was that much of a fucking clown car.)

    I said it the other day, but I can save Mr. Ambassador some time. Repeat after me, Sergei: “All of them, Katya.”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Isn’t he the one whe said he never met any Trump people ever, of course not, except maybe at a big party with lots of other Americans?
      And didn’t Putin just say he didn’t interfere in the election, nyet Donald, believe him?

    • Querolous

      “Все они, Катя”

  • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

    Well, he’s just trying to avoid the ones that make it clear that he, not Donnie Two Scoops, is the one shtupping Hope Hicks.

    Give him a break guys, you know he’s scared Vanky.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Well, that would make sense, since Donald is the one fucking Ivanka.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I’ve always wondered if Trump, like his Winter White House, was using Hicks as his Winter Wife while Melons wasn’t around.

    • Mavenmaven

      They are all f***ing all of us over.

    • NellCote71

      I’m no beard. I’m no beard. You’re the beard.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Jared Kushner is showing that daddy buying a Havhad edumakshun ain’t worth it.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    …what in the hockey sticks is this “Russian backdoor overture and dinner invite”? Did the Russians overture Jared Kushner’s back door? At least they wanted to buy him dinner first!

    Dan Savage is right about this: do the backdoor first, and then have dinner. So much better.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The Russian Backdoor Overture was by Tchaikovsky, silly.

      • gallbladder

        What key?

        • GoutMachine

          B-flat minor.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            /Roy Moore joke self-censored out.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Crap – You beat me to it. I must learn to scroll down.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            But Roy Moore would still hit it.

            (oh god – I’m going to hell, aren’t I?)

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          None. They threw away the key after locking Jared in.

      • Nockular cavity

        I’m pretty sure that movie starred Tchaikocksky, along with Anna Kunnilingina

  • nightmoth

    Oh, Jared, Jared, JARED, indeed!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngiCKon-syI

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Is it really treason if it’s not ideological? He’s just trying to find some other sucker to bail him out of his colossally stupid purchase of 666 Park Ave.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The mortgage payments were a beast.

      • Beelzebubba

        It’s the imminent $1.5 billion balloon payment that’s the problem. Vornado Realty is going to gut the Kushners like a trout.

    • OutOfOrbit

      hey, go wash your gills out with soap

    • Indeniable Ron

      I think that, when they look at you for selling out your country to a foreign power, they aren’t all that interested in why.

    • Historicat

      Benedict Arnold sold out because he wasn’t given the level of respect and position within the army he thought he deserved. it’s a proud tradition to commit treason for self-gain.

    • aureolaborealis

      Speaking of which, doesn’t he have a balloon payment coming up? Like, several hundred million? I’m surprised the Saudis didn’t chip in. Shit, the Kochs or the Mercers could cover that out of their Walking Around Money accounts.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    As soon as I saw “triflin'”, I knew it was Evan writing.

    • BadKitty904

      Evan speaks fluent Southern.

      • MynameisBlarney

        *Southernese*

        • puredog

          “Southronian”

          • MynameisBlarney

            Southerian?

          • Ill-Advised

            Suthron. (No’th Caolina dialect.)

          • MynameisBlarney

            Don’tcha mean “Nawth Cacklacka”?

          • Ill-Advised

            Why, yes! Yes I do!

        • BadKitty904

          Those his dialect appears to differ from mine (i.e., Low Country).

        • randoracer

          No, no, no. Just like “Democrat” is now an (intentionally incorrect, dismissive and derogatory) right-wing short-hand adjective, one speaks “South.” The idiots don’t need to spend no time learnin’ adverbs and adjectives and nonsense stuff like that.

          • amrak63

            Real Men don’t talk. They communicate entirely with grunts, belches, farts, punches, and kicks.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Oh man, if Jared is indicted I’m buying popcorn futures.

    • gallbladder

      Butter options as well.

      • greyXstar

        I’m getting in on those flavor shaker things they sell at movie theaters.

    • mardam422

      Better buy them before that. By that time they will have gone through the roof.

    • Beelzebubba

      I want the actual popcorn. Costco, here I come!
      http://www.gpopcorn.com/images/50-lb-popcorn-bags.jpg

      • you guys seriously. popcorn so upsets my stomach.

        i LOVE it too.

  • rosenbomb

    Did Jared really think he wouldn’t get caught? Or was the plan to let this incredibly corrupt administration distract and deflect? I can’t wrap my mind around the carelessness of Jared, Flynn, Page, etc.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      They never thought they’d win.

    • Jamoche

      They really thought Donnie wouldn’t get elected.

    • OutOfOrbit

      they have all gotten away with so much, for so long, that they now believe they’re bullet-proof

      • rosenbomb

        That makes sense to me. Man, they are bad at everything. We have been talking about the connection to Russia since the campaign. It’s like they thought the whole campaign would get a clean slate after inauguration lol

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        And like many of the pew-pew-pew shooty crowd, at the first sign of live rounds coming their way they learn different get a-skeered.

      • Rags

        They also believed all the bullshit about Dem corruption and so figured they could play that game with impunity

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        ^^THIS

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Unfortunately, they may still be right.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      No competent person would want to be associated with Trump, hence to collection of dunces that surround him.

      • Zyxomma

        Isn’t that confederacy of dunces?

        • Roadstergal

          Like the Confederacy before them, a collection of treasonous bigots.

        • Edith Prickly

          Ignatius J. Reilly libellz!!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      His dad went to Federal prison for witness tampering. Prince Jared must believe (or have been told) that he’ll be pardoned, no matter what. He may have been told that he’ll never even go to trial, no matter what he’s charged with.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        He was told he had the biggest inauguration crowd in history and everybody loves him. So this must all come as a terrible shock.

        By the by, does Ivanka know what the word “complicit” means yet?

    • NellCote71

      Pure arrogance.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Hubris. It’s a bitch.

    • Edith Prickly

      It is rather staggering. Imagine if they were actually good at this.

    • Paul Dietzel

      I know I drag this out all the time, but as our old pal Deep Throat said:
      “Forget the myths the media’s created about the White House. The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand.”

  • greyXstar

    Arrogant and cosmically stupid is no way to go through life, son.

    • Roadstergal

      It’s worked just fine for him so far.

    • clairence

      it is when you’re wealthy, sadly.

  • WeaselPoo

    While they are at it, why not demand docs and comms on peace in the ME, restructuring gubmint and the opipd crisis— you know, show us what you actually ‘do,”Jared

    • TakingAmes

      “What would you say you DO here?”

      • clairence

        “I wouldn’t.”

  • Chyron HR

    On the next Arrested Development, George-Michael lands in some e-mail trouble of his own.

    • randoracer

      I miss that show. I’ve made a terrible mistake.

      • Alia Shawkat said in a Colbert interview the other night that they just finished filming season 5.

  • MynameisBlarney

    It’s almost looking as if Russia either don’t care if the GOP get busted all to fuck for multiple acts of treason, or they are making it very easy for that to occur intentionally.

    https://www.axios.com/why-russia-sent-30-000-to-its-u-s-embassy-during-the-election-2509452902.html

    • OutOfOrbit

      absolute corruption breeds incompetence on all levels

    • yyyaz

      What better chaos than to grenade the “governing” party.

    • Zonath

      Well, destabilizing the US government helps Russia skate on shit like Crimea, so I don’t think there’s a downside there to them. We can only hope that we rise up like mighty Phoenices from the ashes of this “administration”.

      • kareemachan

        ISWYDT

        • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

          A good Phoenix joke is never out of order. Wonkette larned me sumpn’ that day.

      • mardam422

        Nice.

    • SadDemInTex

      Chaos is the real end game. Now start learning Chinese.

      • Roadstergal

        This. Electing Drumpf serves their purposes; tearing him down, same.

  • Mavenmaven

    When Jared goes to jail, guess who gets more Daddy time?
    “forget it Jared, it’s Chinatown”.

    • SadDemInTex

      Your mother (slap) your sister (slap) your mother and sister (slap)

  • Fartknocker

    Remember back in January when J-Red was supposed to head up the Business Growth SWAT team, bring peace to the Middle East, and all sorts of other stuff? Instead he’s been doing what we knew he would: Conspiracy against the US and violating the FCPA. Hell, let’s add a dash of Tax Evasion to this lovely Arrestivus Pie. He’s a repugnant shithead.

  • Marla

    Maybe him and Subway Jared will soon become cell mates.

    • Edith Prickly

      I want Jared locked up with his idiot BIL. They deserve each other.

      • Yellerduck

        1000 elephants in Africa just nodded in agreement.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Grindr

    Heh, I’ve been watching “How to Get Away With Murder” – in that universe, the gay hook up app is called Humpr.

    I really think Grindr should admit it’s a good idea and steal it.

    : D

    • Zyxomma

      I’ve seen kiosk ads for the new gay “dating” app — it’s called Hornet, which I had to assume really means whore net.

  • exinkwretch

    It’s obvious Jared is holding onto the good stuff until the Mueller boys and girls present their “Door No.1 (Spill Your Guts) or Door No. 2 (Federal Supermax Prison) offer.

    • Historicat

      My guess is he’s hoping for Door No. 3 (Vanky’s daddy fires Mueller one way or another).

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        That won’t save him.

        • Historicat

          I’m not sure where he ranks in the “thrown to the wolves hierarchy” but Donnie will happily toss his own children under the bus to save himself, so an in-law wouldn’t count for anything.

          • HooverVilles

            BTW: Nice avatar and screen name!

          • Historicat

            Sometimes the quick decisions are the best decisions!

  • Belasaurius

    subpoena the little bastard and when he refuses to comply, toss his ass in a DC county jail over the weekend

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Russian backdoor overture- those pee hookers sure do get around. I’m glad to see that they’re diversifying…

    • kilgoretrout

      The Russian Backdoor Overture is one of Tchaikovsky’s least appreciated works.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        those aren’t cannons…

  • TundraGrifter

    You know who else had some weird Russian shit going on, back in the day?

    Trump introduced Lebed to Howard Lorber, who had accompanied him a few months earlier on his journey to Moscow, where they looked at properties to which the Trump moniker might be appended. “Howard has major investments in Russia,” he told Lebed, but when Lorber itemized various ventures none seemed to ring a bell.

    “See, they don’t know you,” Trump told Lorber. “With all that investment, they don’t know you. Trump they know.”

    Some “poisonous people” at the Times, Lebed informed Trump, were “spreading some funny rumors that you are going to cram Moscow with
    casinos.”

    Laughing, Trump said, “Is that right?”

    “I told them that I know you build skyscrapers in New York. High-quality skyscrapers.”
    “We are actually looking at something in Moscow right now, and it would be skyscrapers and hotels, not casinos. Only quality stuff. But thank you for defending me. I’ll soon be going again to Moscow. We’re looking at the Moskva Hotel. We’re also looking at the Rossiya. That’s a very big project; I think it’s the largest hotel in the world. And we’re working with the local government, the mayor of Moscow and the mayor’s people. So far, they’ve been very responsive.”

    Lebed: “You must be a very confident person. You are building straight into the center.”

    Trump: “I always go into the center.”

    Lebed: “I hope I’m not offending by saying this, but I think you are a litmus testing paper. You are at the end of the edge. If Trump goes to Moscow, I think America will follow. So I consider these projects of yours to be very important. And I’d like to help you as best I can in putting your projects into life. I want to create a canal or riverbed for capital flow. I want to minimize the risks and get rid of situations where the entrepreneur has to try to hide his head between his shoulders. I told the New York Times I was talking to you because you are a professional—a high-level professional—and if you invest, you invest in real stuff. Serious, high-quality projects. And you deal with serious people. And I deem you to be a very serious person. That’s why I’m meeting you.”

    Published May 19, 1997

    https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1997/05/19/trump-solo

    • puredog

      Trump: “I always go into the center.”
      THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

      • TundraGrifter

        Hasn’t hit the rim or the bottom yet.

    • Paul Dietzel

      Trump: “We are actually looking at something in Moscow right now, and it would be skyscrapers and hotels, not casinos. Only quality stuff.”

      Sounds like Harry Zimm, and just as full of crap:
      “I produce feature motion pictures. No T.V.”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    The Russian Backdoor Overture is just the first opening movement in Jared’s Nutcracker Suite, and Mueller knows how to use a conductor’s baton.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I can’t wait for some nuts to get crackered

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        And for some crackers to get… Oh sorry, that would be the Roy “Don’t Talk To My Daughter Any” Moore thread.

  • TakingAmes

    Can we please please please have early morning raids on Kalorama? You know Barry and Michelle, nosy neighbors as they are, will be on their front porch down the street, just enjoying their first morning’s cuppa and watching the boys bust down Javanka’s door. D’ya think they’ll discreetly toast when the door opens?

  • Catstro

    Russian Backdoor Overture? I’ve always hated modern interpretations of The Nutcracker.

    • anon_the_great

      Yeah, that whole Maurice Sendak Wild Things thing was cool for the first decade…

    • mardam422

      Russian Backdoor Overture? Who’s getting the reacharound?

  • Beelzebubba

    Funny how 100% of the stuff Jared “forgot” is Russian stuff.
    Funny how 100% of the stuff Jeff Sessions “forgot” is Russian stuff.
    It’s almost as if there’s a pattern to it.

    • Yellerduck

      Are you saying the Russians have a mind control machine!!!??!!! Or maybe it’s just lying. Could be that.

    • clairence

      you’re saying Clinton’s emails and Benghazi ?

    • BadKitty904

      Future doctoral thesis: The Neurological Effects of Treason

    • HooverVilles

      Almost?

    • Petunia Cat

      Funny how Trump is unfailingly crabby scornful and mocking towards basically everyone on earth with one exception.
      Funny how 100% of that exception is Putin.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        And Nazis.

  • Red Richmond

    I still really, really want to see a no-knock warrant being served at the white house.

    • clairence

      I suspect that would end in a dramatic gunfight. But Trump likes a reality TV feel with everything, so carry on… as long as nobody gets hurt.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        But…. I want someone to get hurt.

        • Petunia Cat

          Me too. But I’m a civilized person so just a torn rotator cuff. In someone, um, being arrested. #LetsMakeTakedownLiteral

      • phoenix00
  • BaconzDone

    Fuck this dude.

  • Carleenml

    Russian Backdoor Overture is my new band name.

  • moeman

    Leave Jared Kushner alone!

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I still think Flynn (père, but maybe fils as well) are going to be next, but based on what’s come up in the past week or so I’d feel fairly comfortable putting down money that JKush is next. I’m just not sure who else is going to be in his cohort.

    • bbayliss

      Hell, we don’t even know what may have happened last month until Mueller is damned good and ready to tell us.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Of course, but I’m a law-nerd attorney. This is basically my fantasy football.

        • bbayliss

          I’m so relieved that I have negligible knowledge/experience with your field.
          It facilitates the delusion that some kind of justice might be done.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Will perfect justice be done? No.
            But I have a lot of faith in Mueller.

          • bbayliss

            I too, am a believer in Mueller, it’s our history that causes lowered expectations.

          • clairence

            apparently half the country does not. Republican propaganda is working.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Maybe a bit of that, but also people who are neither lawyers nor have they ever experienced legal proceedings- they don’t really have any way of knowing how labor-intensive and time-consuming it is to build a case, especially one of this depth and breadth.

          • clairence

            Voters are conflicted over Mueller. Thirty-three percent view him favorably, while 31 percent have an unfavorable view of him.

            But 54 percent say his professional relationship and friendship with former FBI Director James Comey represent a conflict of interest for him.

            “Mueller is seen as having a significant conflict of interest — one large enough to typically disqualify a special counsel,” Penn said.

            http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/360786-poll-trump-job-approval-hits-new-low

          • Petunia Cat

            Well that’s really disturbing. Of course that’s not a conflict of interest. Just knowing somebody who’s a witness in the case isn’t. 🙄 Maybe if you were a judge you would recuse yourself, but not for a witness I don’t think. Ima just drool now. 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 #ItsGettingToBeABitMuch

          • clairence

            True.

          • Lord Jim

            In comparison to Watergate, this investigation seems to actually be going at quite a brisk pace.

          • Petunia Cat

            Apparently that’s true. But Trump is SO much crazier the Nixon. I never thought when I grew up I would be talking about “crazier than Nixon”. We thought he was the pinnacle. 😰

          • HooverVilles

            Exactly. This has to be done right. Admittedly the wait is very frustrating, but it does have to be done right. Everyone who committed crimes against the US needs to be successfully brought to justice.

  • bbayliss

    Missing emails, missing emails?
    Wasn’t that a component of the most recent presidential election?

    • clairence

      should we publicly ask Russia to find them for us?

      • phoenix00

        Or that 400 lb teenager?

    • HooverVilles

      Why yes. Yes it was. But as always,
      IOKiffYAR !

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Someone does math…iff

  • bbayliss

    Laurence Tribe‏Verified account
    @tribelaw
    Follow Follow @tribelaw
    My prediction: Kush will be among the Trumpsters who end up doing hard time.

    You can believe the white house or Tribe, my money’s on Tribe.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    The audio quality on this vid sucks, but I couldn’t find a clip that wasn’t the whole episode.
    Cracks me up every damn time.
    https://youtu.be/uLkoHHLwEB8

  • clairence

    Alfa was the bank that was pinging the server at Trump Organization.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      It was indeeeeeeed.

  • He’s the world’s dumbest Boy Wonder.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Kush has a vast role in every part of the American foreign and domestic policy and he still hasn’t gotten a security clearance.

    This is liking become the President’s Chauffeur, the pilot of Air Force One and the pilot of every plane in the Strategic Air Command without having acquired a driver’s license, or even a learner’s permit.

    • Bebecca

      I thought they gave him security clearance like voila! You have the highest level of clearance.

    • Cat Cafe

      He, and Ivanka, have the highest levels of security clearance. Ted Lieu sends a tweet every single day asking why. We all should be. He’s literally a Russian agent, with access to the highest level of highly classified information about U.S. security. But, you know, Hillary used a secure server sometimes.

      • HooverVilles

        B-b-b-but her emails

        B-b-b-but noun verb Benghazi

        B-b-b-but she sounds shrill

        B-b-b-but she is on death’s bed

        B-b-b-but a 3yr old man-child says No Puppet. No Puppet. You’re the Puppet and the RWNJ’s go crazy

        . . .

        Good dsylexic doG these people are awful.

  • La Cieca
  • “Russian backdoor overture”? Sounds like it has to do with gay sex….

    At least they’re taking him out to dinner, first…..

  • tehbaddr

    EMAILS? LOCK HER UP LOCK HER UP!!!111!!!!!11111!!1!!1!!!111

  • HooverVilles

    This administration is setting new records every day. No honesty, no integrity, no empathy, no morality, no cognition, no anything else decent.

    We are truly living in a Twilight Zone kakistocracy dystopia.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2fd1793ee66b9ca7b57f07036ae291c8f10ccc72672865c7889e3841f5c13d1a.jpg

  • Robyn Ryan
  • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

    Plan brunch for them, maybe 200 inmates, their lawyers, etc. Sounds like a 4 Seasons special, minus the mimosas.

    • chezmoi

      A pancake breakfast? Better order up a barrel of Jim Bakker’s emergency flapjack mix!

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        echhhhh

    • Sheesko

      Giant clamshell centerpiece, de riguer.

  • phoenix00

    Maybe HE’S got the 30,000 e-mails!! Better get those Russian hackers ON IT.

    Oh before I forget: LOCK HIM UP.

  • Iam Reading

    Please please please please please, let there be a photograph of his reaction when the greybar door slams in his face

  • Kgprophet

    Soon the official White House response will be “Jared who?” or “He was just an errand boy getting twinkies for the President.” or “President Trump has never actually met his daughter’s husband.”

    • chezmoi

      Or “He was just the twinkie getting errand boys for the Predisent.”

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