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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

There was another mass shooting yesterday, this one in California that stretched across multiple locations, leaving four dead, including the gunman, and 10 wounded, two of whom were elementary-aged children. Thoughts and prayers…

Donald Trump sent his thoughts and prayers for the wrong mass shooting, but deleted the Tweet, so that never happened.

After hemorrhaging coffee and sponsorships for defending an ALLEGED pedophile, Sean Hannity gave Roy Moore 24 hours to conjure up a new defense of his ALLEGED pedophilia, otherwise Hannity will pack his balls and leave.

Incensed that Roy Moore might have lied about diddling kids, Steve Bannon is threatening to “put him in a grave [himself]” if it turns out Roy Moore did, in fact, diddle kids.

The RNC is saying, “No Moore,” and cutting off its fundraising pact with Moore’s campaign, but Moore doesn’t seem to understand that “No” means “No.”

Trump’s State Department just approved a $2.8 million no-bid contract to protect US embassies in Russia, giving the nod to a company started and run by a former KGB spy who’s spent his career installing spies. No biggie. [Morning Maddow]

A robocall has been reaching out and touching Alabama voters in search of Roy Moore kiddy fiddling stories; offering cash prizes and littler investigations — but it’s totally fake.

A now-deleted Twitter troll that spread a hoax story about journalists paying for dirt on Roy Moore had a long, fascinating history of convincing gullible idiots of pro-Trump nonsense.

New polling indicates the Alabama Senate race is effectively in toss-up territory as people just aren’t sure if they want to vote for a pedophile.

Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch introduced some new amendments to the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich) that will drench the lifestyles of the rich in champagne kisses.

Tucked inside Hatch’s amendments is a plan to rip out the ACA’s individual mandate, netting them Rs an influx of cash for more poor-fucking and caviar dreams.

There’s an unofficial “creep list” of congress members quietly disseminated by interns, staffers, and lady legislators who’ve had to endure and defend themselves against grab-ass games.

Is Mike Pompeo setting himself up to succeed REXXON, or will it be Nikki Haley? We suppose it depends on how much you can stomach shoe leather.

Steven Bradbury is your new General Counsel for the Department of Transportation, despite a mavericky protest from John McCain, who joined Democrats in opposing Bradbury due to his involvement in drafting the Bush 43 torture memos.

While everyone was paying attention to Jeff Sessions’s horrific attempt to avoid perjuring himself (again), The Senate Foreign Services Committee held a somewhat terrifying hearing on how we launch nuclear weapons.

Also on the Hill, as we watched Jeff Sessions try to “recall” things, Democratic and Republican Reps. Jackie Speier and Barbara Comstock told the House Administration Committee about the inexcusable bullshit they have to put up with as women in politics.

Later in the day, Paul Ryan announced mandatory anti-harassment training for House members and aides. Took long enough.

The House passed a bill to reauthorize the National Flood Insurance program, and that’s great news — depending on how often your house floods, or how much your business is worth. Maybe someday they’ll reauthorize CHIP, too.

Trump’s USDA really doesn’t want to talk about its cozy relationship to pesticide lobbyists, or how a top Trump-appointed USDA official is “introducing” lobbyists to other government officials. House Democrats want some answers.

A Trump official has “You’re Fired” himself after a story in ProPublica exposed his grifty loan scheme against Native American businesses.

The House is dumping a shitload of cash onto the Pentagon after passing a $700 billion defense bill to give the US more missiles, ships, warplanes, and to increase the number of military members, their pay and gear.

In an effort to offer an olive branch to all the terrified white people in the Atlanta suburbs, a group of content creators is inviting suburbanites to “Come Meet A Black Person.”

The government of Zimbabwe is under siege after an apparent military coup to wrestle control from Robert Mugabe, however reports are sketchy as the military has seized control of state-controlled media.

North Korea is running its mouth and rattling sabers in response to some crap Trump said while on his grip and grin with all of the other dictators the ASEAN region.

Trump is back from Not America and he’s already busy rubbing his fat, naked ass all over the White House furniture while tweeting crap about Fox and Friends.

Take some time and read this ‘splainer about how Russian propaganda works. TLDR: Spray and pray.

Former President Steve Bannon is (still) super butthurt about the case of Michelle Fields, the former Breitbart reporter who was “You’re Fired” herself after being chokeslammed by Trump’s former campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski.

For his part, Corey Lewandowski has done fairly well for himself since he was “You’re Fired” for grabbing Michelle Fields. Lewandowski’s “former” lobbying firm has been quietly setting up shop in DC, complete with a radio station.

Federal officials are coming out of the woodwork to say they really hope Jeff Sessions doesn’t give in and appoint a special counsel to look into Hannity’s uranium thing.

Once again, Fox News secret liberal, Shep Smith, blew his cover on live teevee and called bullshit on Hannity’s uranium thing (something he’s been avoiding for a while). Will Shep jump ship to a godawful daytime talk show too, or fall flat on another cable news network, like “Ol’ what’s-her-name?

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert rounded up Roy Moore’s sick sleaze; James Corden is wondering what Jeff Sessions can actually remember; Jimmy Kimmel had hacked by WikileaksSeth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump’s love affair with dictatorsThe Daily Show ‘splainered how Trump doesn’t get what “pulling out” means; Jordan Klepper is taking back at Black FridayJim Jefferies had some talky time with Rob Reiner about sexual harassment in Hollywood.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! African penguins!

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  • Nounverb911
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Yes please.

    • arglebargle

      You can perk me know or perk o later.

  • Nounverb911
    • wide_stance_hubby

      I love how she waits for him to feel the scalding before she looks at him mildly amused.

  • Nounverb911

    Never happened?
    Yes it did, the internet never forgets….

    https://twitter.com/bessbell/status/930661208100814853

  • TundraGrifter

    “A now-deleted Twitter troll that spread a hoax story about journalists paying for dirt on Roy Moore had a long, fascinating history of convincing gullible idiots of pro-Trump nonsense.”

    About as difficult as taking candy from a baby.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Probably easier. The baby, at least, protests a bit.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Not as easy as you might think…

      https://youtu.be/hEmahvffdDg

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Gimme back my fucking lolly!”

  • Nounverb911
  • Rick Hill

    Best wishes and dedicated to all the skeevy, grifting, lying, grubby ass conservatives. This one’s for you:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxLMr784l0Q

  • Daniel

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/20d92163b16a9362fe92e8cb7e7216568f0ea8b47c03b61e76221e3d2cd3efb8.jpg

    Uranium One is as clear as day.

    Contrast that with this bullshit: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/46a0963c38b27ed68088e9392aea5dfceac9e67763104cfb762bd1b18ec4698e.png

    and tell me honestly- which one has more lozenges and big scary red rectangles?

    QED.

    • Doug Langley
      • Gayer Than Thou

        I am in love with this gif.

        • P’jama Pahnts

          It looks like a 90s era website

      • Msgr_MΩment

        That’s one of those Bernie Bernstein apparatuses, right?

        • Doug Langley

          Damn, you figured it out.

      • DrBigHead

        I am going to stare at this all day

      • Marion in Savannah

        Makes Rube Goldberg look like a piker.

      • arglebargle

        Now how am I supposed to get anything done today.

      • Dg Hacket

        Thats a lot of blue balls!

      • little miss high and mighty

        like little action stories all over the page- each requiring closer examination.
        This is a reader
        Thanks for the gif.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      WaPo had a pretty funny takedown of that chart, like how Obama appears twice but isn’t connected to himself or the “Obama DoJ”. Or the fact that Hillary’s emails and her email server aren’t connected at all.

    • Weird Fishes

      Wingnuttery as a Rube Goldberg construct.

  • BadKitty904

    In an effort to offer an olive branch to all the terrified white people in the Atlanta suburbs, a group of content creators is inviting suburbanites to “Come Meet A Black Person.”

    This is an SNL skit, right?

    • little miss high and mighty

      just put “The Atlanta Crackers” back out on the field. (1901-1965)

  • Ellie

    How can one live their life without ever meeting a black person. Oh, never mind. I know there are some in my former parish church that would probably fit that description. They are the ones who think all black people live in ghettos, and take food from food pantries to trade for drugs on the street corner. No, I am NOT kidding. I don’t know how much crack you can get for a box of mac and cheese, and never did get an answer on that one.

    • Nounverb911

      Levittown, NY from 1947 until probably 1970 (Except for the ‘help’).

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      I’m from the border, 80%+ latino; a friend from Wisconsin in college told me the only mexicans he’d ever seen were picking beans in the fields.

      I told him not to tell people that.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      How much mescalin can I get for a can of chick peas? Asking for a friend.

  • Nounverb911

    Moore would like to see less of hannity now….
    https://twitter.com/Rschooley/status/930685748197675008

    • BadKitty904

      You’d think Yosemente Sam, a life-long corrupt Alabama political hack, could afford a real pistol…

      • Nounverb911
        • coozledad

          I don’t remember those things, and I was a childhood gun nut. Are they from the 50’s?

          • John Thorstensen

            The caps I remember were on red strips about 1 cm wide, with caps maybe 1 cm apart. The cap gun had a feeder mechanism for them, and you could bang-bang-bang to your heart’s content. Often we’d just put ’em on the sidewalk and hit ’em with a hammer. Then we’d go back to the fascinating pastime of chasing ants with a magnifying glass … little monsters, we were.

            “I was the handsomest boy in Albany, New York … “

          • Marion in Savannah

            Those are the caps I remember too. (Yes, little girls in NYC in the 50s played with cap guns.)

          • little miss high and mighty

            thhey’re like, issued there at birth right?

          • coozledad

            I had a grenade launcher that shot a projectile with a cap placed in the end. Us olds had some lame ass toys.

        • little miss high and mighty

          just be sure to wrap them in plastic since we run around all day playing and they get damp and don’t perform to NRA standards so Mom takes them away when she finds them in the lundry hamper.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I mean, it’s so tiny…

        • BadKitty904

          The auditorium couldn’t have been *that* cold…

        • arglebargle

          Trump size.

      • weighmaster

        Yeah, that really is pathetic.

        • BadKitty904

          Esp. since the NRA is giving away real guns for free to their GOP pets…

      • Master Contrail Program

        The rootinest, tootinest, ___________, high-falutinest hombre this side of the Pecos is lacking a certain je ne sais quoi without it.

        • little miss high and mighty

          We alles thought it was Yuri (The Kid) Andropov in Pres. Reagan’s anxiety closet..

      • Wookie Monster

        That’s not Sam. That’s Woody from Toy Story.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Something something pew pew hookers.

      • Weird Fishes

        Yosemite Same libelz!!!111111!

      • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

        That’s just the one he stores in his ass. He has bigger ones at home.

    • TundraGrifter

      I hope he shoots at Hannity’s feet and makes him dance. With votes, of course.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I’ll bet getting shot by that little thing might actually hurt a bit

  • Asterix

    If you need five words to sum up everything wrong with this country:

    “Come Meet A Black Person”

    • TundraGrifter

      Great title for a movie staring the late, great Richard Pryor.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    May God be with us after [stupid thing Trump did]. Snark and dick jokes is on the scene.

  • TundraGrifter

    It’s early here on the Left Coast and I’m trying to plan my day. Do I make coffee with my Keurig or smash it with a hammer? Instructions from Sean Hannity aren’t clear.

    • BadKitty904

      Ask your microwave.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I bought a one pound bag of gourmet beans, and I will hit myself over the head with them this morning.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Can you make coffee with a Keurig? Every time I’m in a hotel room that has one of those things, I cannot figure it out.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Do you have an advanced degree in Quantum Mechanics? That might be the problem.

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        depends on whether your definition of “coffee” includes “brown, watery substance with slight hint of actual coffee flavor.”

    • Nounverb911

      BUrn your Barbie.

      • TundraGrifter

        But then I’ll just go back to sleep.

    • James Baskin

      I’ve been wanting to mention to people that virtually any coffee maker is able to make a single cup of coffee. It’s merely a matter of how much coffee and water you put in it.

    • Weird Fishes

      It would be a much happier, saner world if instead of smashing Keurigs with a hammer (whose only real crime is fairly awful coffee), we could smash Sean Hannity instead.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “otherwise Hannity will pack his balls and leave.”

    Assumes balls not in evidence.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    The things coffee makers make you do:

    Hannity: Moore ‘has 24 hours’ to explain allegations or else he must exit race

    http://thehill.com/homenews/media/360415-hannity-moore-must-give-satisfactory-explanation-for-misconduct-allegations-or#

    I guess that means conservatives will soon start burning their full size Hannity pillows.

    • BadKitty904

      Oh, Sean, that’s so (not) cute…

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Way to go there, Justice Fighter!

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Nothing builds morals like the bottom line.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Yep.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “We’ve lost how many more advertisers? __ Oh shit! __________Fuck Roy Moore.”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    It’s been nice having our Dump In Chief visiting not America. But now that he’s back,
    when will the apology tour start in order to clean up his messes?

    • Weird Fishes

      Two or three days after “never.”

  • Poly_Ester

    Hannity, “Moore is s pedophile, lock Hillary up!”

    • Weird Fishes

      There just aren’t enough likes for that.

      • grindstone

        If you boiled down Republican thought, that would be the residue.

        • Weird Fishes

          Dried chew water and mayo on white bread.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    How can we miss Steve Scumbag Bannon if he never goes away?

    • Me not sure

      There’s a song about that…
      https://youtu.be/rW9-FOLG-iA

      • little miss high and mighty

        We loves us Hicks- He was there at the beginning of the SF scene and up till the end kept his sense of humor. Amazing Lyrcist/Compser.

        • Me not sure

          He is missed.

  • Indeniable Ron

    Nice Time: after a long campaign, I have caught the mouse who’s been living in our kitchen. AND a companion. Currently there’s two very relaxed-looking mice in the big live trap, and I’m wondering if there’s more. Cleaning up the ratties’ travel cage right now; I am reluctant to expose house mice to the cold outside, and this seems a useful compromise.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      You are a softie, which is one reason why we like you. In no time, they’ll both have names and you’ll have taught them some tricks.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Names, and probably 14 babby mices.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Ahem… 14 babby meeses!!!!

      • Indeniable Ron

        They already know how to get the food out of the OTHER traps I put out, without tripping them. I think they might be smarter than me.

    • chortlingdingo

      Oh! A fellow rat parent!

      • Indeniable Ron

        Not for a while, sadly; the housemate loves them but can’t handle how short their lives are. She’ll change her mind at some point, though, I think. Or I’ll just keep them in my room, though they’d prolly get lonely.

        • chortlingdingo

          Yeah, the lifespan is the biggest downside to them. I’m going to be taking a break from ratties after my current pair goes. I’ve actually developed a really bad allergy to them, so it’s hard to give them as much love as I want to.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Oh, no… I’ve heard of that allergy, though it seems to be less common than allergies to dogs or cats. But not being able to play with them or skritch or cuddle them…

          • chortlingdingo

            It’s truly tragic! For the most part, I’m fine as long as I wash my hands after handing them and if I really stay on top of cage cleaning.

          • Indeniable Ron

            The things we put up with to have twitchy noses in our lives, eh?

    • little miss high and mighty

      Miracle Whip is the best bait, but how do you get to use the Heart traps a second time?

      • Indeniable Ron

        Victor Tin Cat. It’s meant to catch LOTS of mice.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I used rent a 2 bed townhouse with a huge (for a townhouse) fenced back yard. The fall after I did a huge yard cleanup, a few field mice moved into my kitchen. They’re pretty cute and I’m a ‘live and let live’ kind of gal, so I wasn’t very dutiful in encouraging them to relocate.

      Late one evening, I heard mouse squeaks from my kitchen. I looked over and two mice were fucking in the middle of my kitchen floor. Bold little bastards! The war was ON. I’m more ruthless, I tried D*Con. They ate up several boxes and made even MORE babbies! I eventually had to go to a hardware store and had to get some poisoned grain blocks.

      • coozledad

        Young cats are a great solution, but they all get lazy and fat after a while, and you’ll wind up having to get more young cats.

        This world is a veil of tears.

  • Wookie Monster

    I almost hope Roy Moore wins just so McChinless has to go through the motions of holding hearings and the rest of the GOP has to vote to expel him.

    • OrG

      I see the appeal. Another Democrat in the Senate is more appealing.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Watch the Reps switch out- like with a major year long write in campaign.
        Strange coming off the bench

    • Asterix

      I get what you are saying, but I don’t think that will happen. Better Doug Jones wins.

      • Wookie Monster

        I know. It would just be fun to watch republicans in the Senate squirm as they try to thread that needle.

        • bupkus231

          Yertle would hummahummahaw about “Senate precedent”, “tradition”, etc. – and seat the asshole anyway….

          Don’t believe the hype from the GOP about refusing to seat Moore or expelling him…

          • Courser_Resistance

            My thoughts exactly. The Repukes are a depraved mob of sociopaths. They’ll stop at nothing to pass their genocidal agenda.

          • Wookie Monster

            Maybe, but boy would that create a great wedge issue for the democrats in 2018. The attack ads will right themselves.

            “Republicans are the pro-sexual assault on minors party.”

          • Wookie Monster

            He’ll have to hide in his shell until spring.

    • little miss high and mighty

      Either way, it’s gonna be Lucky Luther R-Al

  • Me not sure

    Brrriiinnnnng! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/40584cc97d69d049cbfbb601d22e4e5b897f43826b1ade1abc6e2604ed9ce7da.gif
    “Molitov! My name is Jewie Jewenstein. I work for a newspaper called the Hebrew National and I’m looking for a few good yentes who would like to crucify a good Christian man named Roy Moore like we did that Jesus guy. Call me, we’ll talk.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You don’t want to see what goes into their headlines.

      • Me not sure

        Their reporters are dogged.

    • little miss high and mighty

      We be your Shabosgoys on that job in case it fell on Friday night

  • grindstone

    My son hurt himself yesterday, my BIL succumbed to a very fast-moving cancer last night, there was yet ANOTHER shooting where everyone had been telling the sheriff and cops that “hey, this guy is a gun loony!!”, and work sucks.
    Can I please get some good news today?

  • schmannity

    How can all of these stories fit in one day or is there going to be a Moore novel instead of short stories?

  • memzilla Ω
    • From Russia with Love

      Bake sale. Because Sessions is clearly baked.

      • Doug Langley

        Half baked, maybe.

        • TundraGrifter

          Like a take-out pizza!

          • Doug Langley

            With uranium topping!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Can he bring his own cookies? Because he makes a hell of a cookie.

        https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7btMxQycLIC6yUcE/giphy.gif

      • Nockular cavity

        Pot libel!

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’m baked most of every day and my memory is far, far, better than his. I may not remember where I left my coffee cup but I remember what happened 6 mos ago.

    • arglebargle

      A “Gofuckme”.

    • Nounverb911

      CTE? The only way to diagnose is to dissect his brain….

      • arglebargle

        Assumes… you know.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      #neverfor…..
      What’s that word that’s the opposite of remember?

      • schmannity

        Lie?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Dismember?

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        Ses·sions
        /ˈseSHənz/

        verb
        1. To conveniently forget while under oath.
        “Damn, Oliver North is Sessionsing his ass off out there.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Can we organize a charity perp walk?

    • Nockular cavity

      He’s suffering from Liesinheimer’s.

    • BadKitty904

      GoFundMe in 5…4…3…

  • Marceline

    Has anybody started sending out mailers telling people to write in “Luthor Strange” yet?

    • Nounverb911

      First they have to teach the voters how to write “Luthor Strange”.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Soon, Luthor Strange,R-A.

    • Doug Langley

      “Yeah, I remember him. Great movie.”

    • little miss high and mighty

      Yup, Strange is where they’re gonno go if they have hope of keeping that seat.
      Think of how ego puncturing for the Reps in Nov with a loss- or win w/ Roy.

    • bupkus231

      Uh – it’s “Luther”.

      Remember when Lisa Murkowski was running as a write-in, and there was so much concern that voters would be unable to spell her name correctly, thus invalidating their votes? One wonders what the Alabama election officials would do with “Luthor” ( especially if they like Moore )…

      Maybe you’re ratfcking?

      • Marceline

        Yes. I’m ratfucking. It’s a skill we need to get better at. Moore’s not going anywhere and even if he did his name has to remain on the ballot. A write in campaign will split the vote. A write in campaign where more of the votes get ditched for being spelled wrong? Even better.

        • Marion in Savannah

          I like the way you think.

  • Nounverb911

    Loonie Laura Loomer is starting a #burnyourbarbie campaign after Mattel announced this.

    https://twitter.com/Barbie/status/930118248116363264
    https://twitter.com/LauraLoomer/status/930662353099730944

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I would like to encourage fans of Hannity to start fencing without face protection, in protest. I’ll even hold your beer and watch this.

      • bupkus231

        Preferably while fencing with chainsaws ( of votes, okay? )

      • Nockular cavity

        I am in favor of them boycotting all manner of head protection, because “Muzlim.”

        • Courser_Resistance

          You’ll take my hardhat/cycling helmet/climbing helmet (yes, I have several of all three) from my cold, dead hands. Er, head?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Go ahead. Mattel will make more.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Yes, and of course, one must BUY Barbie before one can burn Barbie.

        • Persistent Demme

          Herp-a-derp!

      • cmd resistor

        How about they make an ISIS Ken? Or a Roy Moore doll?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Oh, Ms. Laura, your boob is showing, i.e. all of you.

    • OrG

      Buy Mattel stocks. Now!

      • bupkus231

        I heard yesterday that Hasbro is looking to buy Mattel – One has to wonder if perhaps Loomer has shorted one or the other…

    • BosGrl

      Are the gold crosses and Stars of David that other religious people wear fashion accessories?

    • bupkus231

      Gee, Laura – do you really want Mommy & Daddy to take away their little girls dolls and burn them?

      We’ll have to start calling you Mommie Dearest…

      • Nockular cavity

        Yeah, that’ll go well.

      • cmd resistor

        Yeah, burn your non-hijab wearing Barbies to make a stupid point.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      You can see in that woman’s eyes, she knows what Hillary did.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Shit. I had already repurposed my Barbies into coffeemakers.

    • Asterix

      I have serious issues with the whole Barbie-verse, but I really smiled when I saw this yesterday.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Me too. There are plenty of issues around Barbies but being MORE inclusive is always a good thing.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      Boop. Boop, boop. Boop, boop, boop…

      The sound of winger heads imploding.

      It’s ironic how conservatives/alt-right snowflakes are all wetting themselves over this while they don’t care what the his royal anus does as long as it ‘pisses off liberals.’

    • bupkus231

      I just noticed that the doll in Mattel’s tweet is wearing a fencing uni – I did not realize that Ibtihaj Muhammed was an Olympic fencing champion.

      How much you want bet Laura Loomer doesn’t know this, either – but her lunatic Islamophobia prevented her from looking it up.

      Way to go, Laura – you were an asshole before – now we know you’re just a stoopid asshole.

      • sarafina

        Please, Laura has ALWAYS been “a stoopid asshole”.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Would Ms. Looner be outraged if “Trans-vaginal ultrasound Barbie” were a thing?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Can’t wait to hear the reports from E.R.s related to Barbie burning incidents.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Who is Laura Loomer? I don’t know her. Barbie, on the other hand, and I are lifelong BFFs.

    • Cock Blockula

      Loomer? Or is it really Looner?
      I report, you decide.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Because all the previous scantily clad dolls with impossibly proportioned bodies were better role models???

  • Weird Fishes

    ‘Moore doesn’t seem to understand that “No” means “No.” ‘

    Which sums up the problem rather neatly, I think.
    Read more at https://wonkette.com/625792/republicans-running-from-roy-moore-wonkagenda-for-wed-nov-15-2017#WHJtQ3BrRJPAXP4I.99

  • nightmoth

    The sister of the California mass shooter said today that her brother was mentally ill, violent, and should never have been allowed to have guns. One of the dead neighbors had a restraining order against him after he stabbed her last January, but nobody took his guns. Police were called to his house a few days ago on a domestic violence complaint, but nobody took his guns. I think “Yes, we WILL take your guns if they need taking” needs to be a new rallying cry.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Well, he did need to protect himself from the giant spiders.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Shit. It’s almost like gun fetishers and all the enablement of law enforcement don’t much value human life at all.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’s critically important that we respect the gun rights of mentally unbalanced white men with a history of domestic violence. Something something “slippery slope” something “cold dead fingers”.

    • Jamalama

      I am pretty sure individual guns have more rights than people do these days. I’ve seen children be put in CPS for less than this guy did and ….crickets. We need to have a domestic violence/gun ban law ASAP, as in no guns at all for anyone convicted of domestic violence.

    • coozledad

      Gun collections should be treated the same as a cache of illegal narcotics.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And like legal drugs, too: Stored away and child proof.

  • schmannity

    I applaud Trump for increasing government efficiency; now he has a cut and paste thoughts and prayers tweet. Just insert (correctly) this week’s mass shooting.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • nightmoth

      In that picture, he rather resembles the toad that hangs out on my front porch on summer nights glutting himself on insects. The toad is way cuter, though.

      • little miss high and mighty

        borderline toad libelz.

  • Nounverb911
  • WotsAllThisThen

    If Trump puts an advocate of torture in charge of the DMV, how would we know?

    • Crystalclear12

      They would be the only one smiling.

    • BadKitty904

      Because he’d be a Republican?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Actually, I’ve had to have dealings with the DMV down here recently. Other than a bit of a wait on line (my fault for not getting there early enough) it was a pleasure. The folks were nice, helpful, and knew their stuff. God, we’re lucky!

  • Marceline

    Waking up to the news that Blake Shelton is “The Sexiest Man Alive.” Look, I like Shelton. He’s cute enough. I’d break him off a piece if he asked. But sexiest man alive? Not while this guy draws breath.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2e0115cfc40fec820942717381c58f669af8b76db3891d621fb52aa4f0411f13.jpg

    • Nounverb911
      • BosGrl

        Has someone given this guy an MRI?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Good job, Mike. This one is actually funny. Did someone else write it?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Who the hell is Blake Shelton?

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Country music turd.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Apparently he’s sexay.

      • OrG

        I don’t know either, but Gwen Stefani is his girlfriend so he’s got something going on.

        • MynameisBlarney

          *shrugs*
          Meh.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Hear, hear!

      Also, my last two partners were both and each sexier than Blake Shelton. Please.

    • BadKitty904

      Now, that is some pretty, right there…

    • MynameisBlarney

      Who did they poll?
      Middle aged southern white women living in trailer parks?

      • coozledad

        Or hair product distributors.

    • chortlingdingo
      • Annie Jomes

        Not so much “sexxxxay,” more like “glamor shot of my dentist.”

        • chortlingdingo

          Right? He’s kind of doughy-looking to me.

          • Annie Jomes

            Yeah, he’s such a generic-looking white guy. Not exactly oozing with charisma.

          • Daniel

            He’s the man whose photo comes in the frame.

      • Arolpin

        I’m sorry and as a straight male I don’t have a horse in this race, but Blake Shelton looks like Dale Earnhardt Jr. without the famous name or talent. Even if every woman I knew didn’t keep going on about Idris Elba, I would know that he was significantly better looking. (That being said, “Luther” is still schlock torture-porn.)

        • chortlingdingo

          I haven’t gotten around to watching Luther, despite the draw of Idris Elba. Good to know about the torture-porn thing. Maybe I’ll continue not getting around to watching it.

          • Arolpin

            A very close family friend is a huge Idris fan, and she convinced me to watch it (I was in a post-‘The Wire’ funk). I liked it, but I finally just realized that the female lead is truly a sociopath, which is fine, but I can’t suspend disbelief that a homicide detective would work with a sociopathic murderess, no matter how hot she is, especially when she seems to kill as many people as the bad guys.

          • chortlingdingo

            Oh, yeah. That does seem more implausible than usual.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Ugh, I’ve never found him attractive.

        • chortlingdingo

          I’m glad I’m not the only one!

      • coozledad

        Looks like an extra from “Alias Smith and Jones.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      He can fluff my bunny ANY DAY!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Black Twitter was the place to be yesterday, just saying, because they were NOT having any of this Blake Shelton bullshit.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Doug Langley

      To be fair, it’s getting hard to keep track of them.

  • Crystalclear12

    You know, I’ve forgotten what coffee tastes like without Bourbon in it.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Hmmm… I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but I’ll bet it’s improved by bourbon.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Wow. Another angry white guy obsessed with guns and with a history of domestic violence goes on a shooting rampage. A real break with tradition.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
  • memzilla Ω
    • Bill D. Burger

      Roy lives by the clock: “If they’re age is on the clock, they’re on my cock.”

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I’ll see that and raise you a ‘if there’s grass on the field, we’re gonna play ball.’

  • Indiepalin

    Trump has just tweeted his condolences for the victims of Pearl Harbor.

  • Nounverb911
  • arglebargle
  • MynameisBlarney

    Oh please indeed.
    And YOU say this after years of peddling blatant lies and propaganda.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029845410

  • ImGoingBacon

    I’d like to know how big a raise Congress plans to give to our troops, instead of planes, trains and automobiles?
    While I am in the camp of ‘not all troops are heros’, I know firsthand how little pay there is in being cannon fodder.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    He’s since deleted this. Copied and pasted his tweet after the Texas mass shooting to the victims in California last night.
    Fucking piece of shit.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/47d18b153a0930a9a2fd434501c7c3c4603a1436dfee6554348261f4bb1e068c.png

    • Ryan Denniston

      Syphilis is a hell of a disease.

    • schmannity

      Nice one Wharton: too fancy to teach verb-subject agreement.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      He means a good God with a gun, right?

    • Doug Langley

      Wait – isn’t it a crime to destroy something the President writes down?

      • Rags

        yup. and his tweets have been ruled to qualify under the statute

    • cmd resistor

      I thought I was on the wrong page when I read that. BTW his tweet videos of people clapping and waving flags at him are GROSS. As is the cover photo for his page, which seems to be people taking photos of him on their phones,.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Jeffy’! What do you do at the Dept of Justice?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOpHIW_UEAACmRw.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Culinary Mercenary

      Stealin’ & Sharin’

  • bubbuhh

    Sheriff Hannity gives Ray Moore 24 hours to git outta town. Gives self a star and lotz of metalz in lieu uv advertisers cuz fair n balanced.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f2cd281ddcbe1581b3d32887b0cf1c856726891588d8dbb59a024aaadbed58d3.jpg

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Looks like Russia has their own version of “radio free Europe”

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Bill D. Burger
  • schmannity

    If Roy Moore were a Muslim or a person of color, how many hours were Hannity give him to come up with a credible alibi?

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Loving the penguin name bands! Hello Parker Penguin! Maximum squee. Merci!

  • So if he reverses hist stance on Moore all of Hannity’s fans will get to spend hours reassembling their Keurig, which they just through busting up on video.

    Or just go buy a new one at the Gadsden Mall.

    If you can’t have your morning cuppa Raspberry Chocolate Truffle coffee from your fancy coffee machine because your favorite TV star supports a pedophile for US Senate YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The’ll go buy a new one after the first time they get frustrated trying to grind their own beans.

      • puredog

        “This hammer’s not workin’. There’s gotta be a better way.”

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    “Consider yourselves medamned, Alabama GOP!” – God https://twitter.com/rudepundit/status/930785678534828032

    • bupkus231

      Looks like some of those 50 Alabama preachers, who supposedly signed a letter in support of Roy AFTER these allegations came out are now saying they were not asked to allow their names to be used.

      Kayla Moore is at least as much a liar as Roy:

      Link: http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/11/53_pastors_sign_letter_of_supp.html

      Apparently this most recent letter is a cut-and-paste job from a letter of support that these pastors signed onto, way back during the primary ( when Moore was running against Luther Strange and Mo Brooks, et al ), and NOT since these allegations were made public.

      Funny how “good Christians” lie about things like this….

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Bill D. Burger

    Devoted and patriotic Hannity fan honoring the flag. She posted this to Hannity and told him to use it for his next Fourth of July ‘celebration’!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOpjUD5X4AETM6Q.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      Come on man.
      That shit ain’t cool.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I’m sure this is against the Flag Code. If it isn’t, it should be.

    • nightmoth

      Dammit, Bill, it’s too early in the day for this! Where’s my eye bleach?

    • Me not sure

      My little soldier may never stand at attention again.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I know that you are a righteous dude, but this sort of remark is part of anti-female culture. It is not the responsibility of every woman you see to have whatever it takes to make your soldier salute.

        • Me not sure

          I don’t blame the woman. I blame Bill.

        • Daniel

          He may have been talking about an actual little soldier, in which case it’s possible your comment is disrespecting disabled veterans.

        • Impatient

          Okay … But still … Ew?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I shall not dignify that with a non-comment.

  • chortlingdingo

    In that CNN article about the creep list:

    The unique lifestyle on the Hill helps fuel a hostile culture. Many male members are far away from their families, including their spouses, during the week, frequently working late nights and attending evening fundraisers and events where alcohol flows freely. Often, they are staffed by younger, female employees.

    I don’t give a shit if you’re away from your spouse, you KNOW that you should keep your hands and propositions to yourself. I despise this “men have no self-control, they just can’t help themselves” attitude. Yes, they very well can. Fuckers.

    • BadKitty904

      So, that excuses assault and rape? By Congressmen?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Mother Pence can’t be everywhere at once.

        • BadKitty904

          Now, there’s a horrifying thought…

          • vivian

            “Harcourt Fenton Mudd!”

          • BadKitty904

            LOL

            (I’m so proud I got that ref!)

        • From Russia with Love

          Well, she’s a sure fire boner killer.

      • chortlingdingo

        The article didn’t seem to have that tone, overall, but this paragraph was a little troubling. It sounded like excuses for the behavior to me.

        • BadKitty904

          That is EXACTLY what it sounds like.

    • puredog

      They *can* control themselves, they just feel entitled not to. Easy-peasy.

    • nightmoth

      The idea that men are at the mercy of their hormones is a tenet of rape culture.

      • nightmoth

        And isn’t it funny how merciless hormones are a good excuse for men, but women “being at the mercy of their hormones” has always been a reason to bar them from leadership roles?

        • Impatient

          … Bar them from freely living and operating in our society whatsoever!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This idea that men behave themselves EVEN IN THE PRESENCE of their spouses is pure hippopotamus shit. If Mike Pence has never “accidentally” touched a boob he’s not entitled to touch while in the presence of his wife or anyone else I will eat my hat.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “A Trump official has “You’re Fired” himself after a story in ProPublica exposed his grifty loan scheme against Native American businesses.”

    How many grifters are out on their ears after just 8 months in office?

    (And how many are left? I know, I know, AOT, K!)

  • Me not sure

    What do almost all mass shootings in this country have in common?
    1.) A white male.
    2.) One version or other of this… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9331fd7afc0ea8f76b3b2f45d1c978b7f048fe82a604b75fe2363c5c6da2dff2.jpg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Incredible coincidence, innit?

      • Me not sure

        We can ban at least one of these things.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Personally, I’d start with the white men.

          • vivian

            Are we supposed to self-deport? Where to? Australia? Ireland?
            Poland? Most of the Northern Europeans won’t have us.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            *Raises hand for Australia*

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Antarctica, without protective gear?

          • Indeniable Ron

            If you deport ’em to Australia they’ll hafta leave their guns behind.

          • Me not sure

            That would be too easy,…and too comprehensive.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      domestic violence in their pasts.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      And you know that all we’re going to hear about this one is hero teachers who were able to implement their “lock down” training. Therefore we don’t need fewer guns, we just need elementary schools that are essentially prisons.

      • cmd resistor

        And the hero guy who yelled to the shooter at the elementary school to shoot toward him, not the school. Who, by the way, did not have a gun.

      • Me not sure

        Still,… brave folks.

    • bbayliss

      A history of domestic abuse

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “I’m really sad today, Mr. President! People are saying mean things about me, some of my advertisers are leaving…I’m just so down. Can I, you know…do that thing? It always cheers me right up!”

      Trump: “Sure thing Sean!” *Unbuckles belt, turns around and drops pants*

      Hannity: “Oh, thank you sir! Mmmm!” *loud slurping, sucking noises* “So tasty!”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8efc5448c4eb794571cb98575042130abcfb6681bd385eb02feadf6f60749919.jpg

      • H0mer0

        The Donald wears a black thong?

  • Bill D. Burger

    InsHannity is now “..uncertain” about Roy Moore.
    Translation: “I’ve lost even more advertisers. To hell with Roy Moore.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOo7EbhWsAAsnk9.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      He’s “un$ertain”…

      • Indeniable Ron

        Un¢ertain. (Sorry, showing off my HTML skillz.)

        • BadKitty904

          Ha!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: WOW!
    I’m not sure how I feel about this. 1) It’s nice that fines and costs can be paid with work, but 2) it depends on how much the “wage” is:

    [Texas Code of Criminal Procedure] Art. 43.10. Manual Labor.

    Where the punishment assessed in a conviction for a misdemeanor is confinement in jail for more than one day or is only a pecuniary fine and the defendant is unable to pay the fine and costs adjudged against the defendant, or where the defendant is sentenced to jail for a felony or is confined in jail after conviction of a felony, the defendant shall be required to work in the county jail industries program or shall be required to do manual labor in accordance with the following rules and regulations:

    1. Each commissioners court may provide for the erection of a workhouse and the establishment of a county farm in connection therewith for the purpose of utilizing the labor of defendants under this article;

    2. Such farms and workhouses shall be under the control and management of the sheriff, and the sheriff may adopt such rules and regulations not inconsistent with the rules and regulations of the Commission on Jail Standards and with the laws as the sheriff deems necessary;

    3. Such overseers and guards may be employed by the sheriff under the authority of the commissioners court as may be necessary to prevent escapes and to enforce such labor, and they shall be paid out of the county treasury such compensation as the commissioners court may prescribe;

    4. They shall be put to labor upon public works and maintenance projects, including public works and maintenance projects for a political subdivision located in whole or in part in the county. They may be put to labor upon maintenance projects for a cemetery that the commissioners court uses public funds, county employees, or county equipment to maintain under Section 713.028, Health and Safety Code. They may also be put to labor providing maintenance and related services to a nonprofit organization that qualifies for a tax exemption under Section 501(a), Internal Revenue Code of 1986, as an organization described by Section 501(c)(3) of that code, and is organized as a nonprofit corporation under the Texas Non-Profit Corporation Act (Article 1396-1.01 et seq., Vernon’s Texas Civil Statutes), provided that, at the sheriff’s request, the commissioners court determines that the nonprofit organization provides a public service to the county or to a political subdivision located in whole or in part in the county;

    5. A defendant who from age, disease, or other physical or mental disability is unable to do manual labor shall not be required to work. The defendant’s inability to do manual labor may be determined by a physician appointed for that purpose by the county judge or the commissioners court, who shall be paid for such service such compensation as said court may allow; and

    6. For each day of manual labor, in addition to any other credits allowed by law, a defendant is entitled to have one day deducted from each sentence the defendant is serving.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Sounds like debtors’ prison to me. And they probably pay 5 cents an hour.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Sounds like slavery, actually. And all nice and constitutional thanks to the 13th Amendment’s slippery little slope (if you haven’t yet, watch DuVernay’s 13th Amendment documentary)

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        Texas law says you can, in fact, be put in jail for not paying restitution. On the one hand, as a poor fucker, yeah, that sounds a lot like debtors’ prison. On the other hand, this isn’t a debt, really. This is not my credit card bill. These people have been found guilty of stealing thousands, sometimes tens of thousands or more from people. If they’re unemployed or judgment proof (no money or assets to pay), what is to be done for the victims?

        As i understand, word is the judges in my area won’t order people to jail ONLY for failure to pay. As you and HouseoftheBlueLIghts say, it sounds too much like debtor’s prison and/or slavery. Now, they will if you fail to pay restitution, AND don’t check in with your PO, AND fail to take required classes AND commit new crimes, etc. But not solely for failure to pay.

        As for the rest of Texas, god only knows.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Ah, finally we can get some restitution from grifty oil/gas execs!
          Oh, wait…never mind.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeaaaaah, about that.

            ; )

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Sometimes I forget the Equal Protection clause doesn’t apply to everybody 😞

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            the exception for rich white dudes is written on the back in invisible ink.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            See? Christianist jizms ARE magic!

          • Indeniable Ron

            Though there’s something satisfying about the idea of getting one of those bastards to pay back several million dollars at 10 cents an hour.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          You can be put in jail for failure to pay restitution? Or, your probation/parole can be revoked for FTP? Because, those are 2 very different things. Every restitution statute I’ve read is pretty clear that enforcement of a restitution order is civil in nature — that is, the order creates a lien — so as not to run afoul of Williams v. Illinois, 399 US 235 (1970), (which would also seem to apply to your workhouse statute.)

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            excellent point and my bad for putting it so poorly.
            (I really do need to shut up.)

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I don’t know how Texas handles restitution. They may, in fact, put people in jail for FTP. Don’t shut up. Restitution is complicated, and raises a lot of complex issues that people don’t think about in their rush to create statutory “victims rights” that supersede the Constitutional rights of the accused.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            True, and as seen, I’m one of those – to a point. (I saw some caselaw this morning on a restitution order to repaly the police for arresting, which is some bullshit.)

            And thanks again for encouraging me not to shut up.

            I’ve just been doing a lot of research on restitution, so I must have wrote with an assumption of probation. also, I was, or attempting to multitask. ; p

            glad I have somebody who’s smart on this subject to talk to.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            P.S. Speaking of which – our Assbag General has things to say (I read his news release and any released opinions every day for professional purposes, you have NO idea how much I have grown to hate this fucking guy in a month or so – okay you polly have a good idea).

            AG Paxton: Smith County Child Support Roundup Results in 24 Arrests

            Wednesday, November 15, 2017 – Austin

            Attorney General Ken Paxton announced that 17 parents were arrested in Smith County for violating court orders requiring them to pay child support. This roundup was completed by Smith County in conjunction with the Texas Attorney General’s Child Support Division (CSD). A total of 24 parents have been arrested since roundups were initiated earlier this month.

            “My office will not allow parents to sidestep their fundamental and moral responsibility to care for their children,” Attorney General Ken Paxton said. “I want to thank the law enforcement officials who held parents accountable for their court-ordered child support, and I encourage all parents who may owe back child support to contact my office immediately to resolve the issue.”

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I don’t have much sympathy for people who don’t pay child support, but I get really fucking angry when law enforcement starts grandstanding after one of their bullshit enforcement operations. If you ask them in 30 days how many of those parents were found in contempt, the answer is far more likely to be “none” than “all.”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            Paxton is the FUCKING WORST about self-fellating. He partners with locals on some issues and then takes all the credit in the news releases. You have to hunt for a mention of the locals. (Not that its about credit or anything, it’s just a sign of a shitty human being).

            I was thinking on the way home last night, this guy HAS to be laying groundwork for a campaign for governor or U.S. senator. It hits all the high notes – tough on crime! tough on abortion! tough on illegals! pro-Trump!

            There was this crowing news release about a huge judgment, then you find out in the release it was a default judgment. Real ace work there dummy.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I think it’s a very, very bad idea. It incentivizes arresting poor people whenever you need cheap labor for a local project. And who’s going to watchdog the program for abuses? Also, there will be major safety and security issues. Plus, hasn’t the Texas prison system been successfully sued by prisoners in the past over this very issue?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I’ll research it a bit when I get home tonight.

    • BadKitty904

      Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?

      • Indeniable Ron

        But you repeat yourself.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      to be clear, I said I’m not sure how I feel about this. There are many days I’m glad I’m not in charge of public policy.

    • Impatient

      Hmmm. How can any potential benefit of such a policy be perverted, to injure the most (poor) people as severely as possible? We have to keep our eye on the prize!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
  • vivian

    I wonder what’s next for Jeffy “Waldheim” Sessions…
    maybe he gets sent back to Al Abama where he can see out his free years
    as a Senator under constant Federal Investigation.

    • Flatulus

      Jefferson Beauregard SeSessions III is the Chief Law Enforcement Officer of The United States!

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Jeffy has said that he doesn’t want to take back his Senate seat.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • VirginiaMorningBlend

    That creep list is also shared with the young pages who intern there over the Summer. Ask some of them for their creeper/perv stories. What they reveal may shock you. Or not.

    • cmd resistor

      That reminds me of my old congressman Mark Foley, who quit over allegations of hitting on male pages. It was close to an election and his name was already printed on the ballots. I guess he withdrew and they brought in another candidate but the new guy’s name wasn’t on the ballot. That was how we got, for a short while, a dem in that seat,. He wasn’t a very good dem and he ended up leaving in disgrace himself for screwing around on his wife. But I’d been thinking about that in the context of Moore, too, but I think the procedure was different here in Florida.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i was asked to crash his dad’s funeral by the AP, who I was freelancing for. The staff reporter refused. I did it (and promptly got booted out).

        Still in my top 3 most shameful/regrettable moments in life.

      • TundraGrifter

        Wasn’t it down in Missouri when Mel Carnahan was killed before the election and he still beat the guy who became Bush’s AG?

        • Meccalopolis

          his wife ran in his stead but Mel’s name was still on the ballot. I think she got turfed in the next cycle

      • Mark Foley! I forgot about him!! He burned up the wonkettes for a long time back in 08 (i think?)

        • H0mer0

          it was the “Cocktober surprise” for the 2006 elections.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    What a surprise – suspected Rancho Tehama gunman had a history of violent outbursts and was actually awaiting criminal trial for assaulting a woman in January (the victim of that assault was one of the victims shot and killed yesterday).

    • Indeniable Ron

      Gee, you wouldn’t think someone like that would become a killer, would you?

    • Courser_Resistance

      The War of White Men Upon Women continues…

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        I don’t really want to ‘up’vote this, but sadly, I completely agree.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Not just White Men. I have stories of DV too, by Black Men. But they don’t tend to mass murder to “take care of their problems”.

        • Courser_Resistance

          So noted. And yes, while black men can be as guilty as white men to abuse women, they don’t generally go into ‘kill everyone and salt the earth’ mode. Also too, I can’t recall ever experiencing much bullshit from men of color. I live in a majority minority community and there’s always the random asshole but most often, it’s a white man.

    • bbayliss

      The common thread that runs through all of these killings is a history of domestic abuse.
      Maybe that would be a good place to start screening.

    • Manders

      Oh, look, another shooterwithdomesticviolencechaahahahahHAHAHAHAAAAAAGH. . . .

      [drools]

      I fucking hate these people. And that I can’t drink at work.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    How soon before we start investing “Fast and Furious” again?

    • Shibusa

      Also too: Whitewater.

      • BadKitty904

        Teapot Dome or Bust!

  • Impatient

    In response to the latest not-Russia brilliance — KGB guarding our embassy? — THAT sounds nice! — I offer a modest suggestion:

    Let’s commission our glorious Preznit to “do a deal.” Ask tRump to package something Russia really wants (the monies, of course), and offer it too them in an attractive trade. For example, maybe Russia would accept a financial package containing all of our venture capital companies and all their venturing Mercering-species buzzards. In return, we could demand that Putin accept a US cash donation … of $100 billion or so, to his most favored dacha development.

    Mayhaps this would convince Putin to stop colluding with not-Americans to grift these United States into the trash heap. (Naw. Just kidding. There’s ALWAYS more grift!)

  • eyelashviper

    Tough choice for those Alabama voters:

    https://image.cagle.com/202890/1155/202890.png

  • guppy06

    The government of Zimbabwe is under siege after an apparent military coup to wrestle control from Robert Mugabe

    1 quadrillion Zimbabwe Dollars says Mugabe died of old age days ago, joining Francisco Franco in the choir infernal.

  • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

    Sexual assault / harassment training is bullshit if there is no punishment for being caught doing it. And are they going to mandate that the victims are believed?

  • TundraGrifter

    The lawyer lady on last week’s Sheer InSannity clusterfuck has been told to hit the bricks by her law firm. Maybe he will send her a free coffee maker to make up for it.

  • H0mer0

    that interview with Rob Reiner was one of the most articulate discussions of the prevalence of sexual harassment and recognition of the tendency for the woman’s words being drowned out by mansplaining, embarrassment and social repercussions and the “revelation” that it is really easy to refrain from exposing oneself in public.

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